001_LS453_cover
12/4/09
1:08 PM
Page 1
the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
CHERYL COLE
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ v guide ★
How to get that X Factor look pg 21
8 – 14 December 2009
FREE WEEKLY
SPLASH OUT Luxury gifts for your loved ones BUMPER PRIZE A feast of theatre tickets for one lucky reader
Strictly star Brendan talks about his new show at Brighton Dome pages 14 & 15
>
King Cole
Have you seen our TOP top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at
10
latesthomes.co.uk /brighton
002_LS453_Jeremy Hoye
12/2/09
4:58 PM
Page 1
003_LS453_contents
12/4/09
1:03 PM
Page 1
welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Dan Cushing private view and Callaways anniversary 5 City Speak Will on resolutions; the chippy from hell in Columnist Idol 5 Competitions Win a whole winter’s worth of free theatre tickets 7 Heather Mills’ VBites Is celebrity culture corrupting our kids? 8 News Hundreds of local jobs lost at Lloyds 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters 9 Bookings Diversity, Mark Watson, Fightstar, Ocean Colour Scene 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 10 Snap Shots Brighton The Musical author Terry Garoghan 11 Celebcity Rottingdean musician’s crazy Christmas charity single 12 Bare Cheek Angmering voodoo ring goes public 12 Astral Angi If life’s like a box of chocolates...
29
14 L7 COVER FEATURE As he prepares to open his stage show in Brighton, Strictly Come Dancing star Brendan Cole chats about hot headedness, hanging with Jo Wood and the Stones, and his plans to find a local fella for his dancing brother
16 LIFESTYLE
31
L7 Don’t miss...
16 Gift Guide Five pages of luxury gift ideas 21 Health & Beauty Rock the Cheryl Cole look at your Christmas party; plus how to drink sensibly this festive season 23 Food & Drink Gigantic prawns at the Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori 24 Dining Deals Two pages of cut out ’n’ keep food vouchers 26 Hotlist 21 great restaurants and coffee shops
Adam Virgo, Heather Mills Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
27 WHAT’S ON 27 Stage Brenda Blethyn and Rosamund Pike at Theatre Royal 28 Music & Clubs Brighton’s The Crave on touring with Deep Purple 30 Art & Events Handmade T-shirts and ‘zines at the Guerilla Art Market 31 Film Where The Wild Things Are hits the big screen 32 Comedy & Gay Collins and Herring’s Christmas party at the Dukes 33 Reviews Eddie Izzard, Random Dance, Ryuichi Sakamoto 34 Sport Adam Virgo on Thierry Henry’s hand ball 34 TV Your seven-day guide to what’s on the box
There’s nothing Brighton embraces with more passion than kitsch (witness Britain’s biggest Eurovision party, hosted every May by our own Duke Of York’s, and the continuing existence of much of Kensington Gardens). And the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is as kitsch as they come. Not only has it rescued ballroom dancing from the deck of the HMS Pension Windfall, it’s made celebrities of its professional dancers – and none more so than ‘bad boy’ Brendan Cole, with his reputation for shoehorning in illegal lifts and challenging the judges. Our cover star tells all about Strictly..., and his new all-dancing, allsinging stage show, in this week’s interview. This is also a must-read issue for theatre fans. The Stage section contains details of one of the Theatre Royal’s best season’s yet (including Rosamund Pike, Brenda Blethyn and a new production of Wilde’s Salomé from hot young director Jamie Lloyd, fresh from directing James McAvoy in the West End). And in Competitions one reader will win tickets to five shows including Chicago and Never Forget. This week’s City Speak features our last Columnist Idol before Christmas – but since we’re still receiving so many interesting sample columns, we plan to run more in the new year. Meanwhile, the debate over past entries rages gently on in Latest Inbox. If you’ve enjoyed reading a particular Columnist Idol contender, remember to write in and support them: comment@thelatest.co.uk And of course you can also tell us whether or not you’re in agreement with our resident columnists. This week, Heather Mills finds pause for thought when confronted with a Brighton artist’s portrait of her as Jessica Rabbit (well, wouldn’t we all?) while, in Sport, Albion man Adam Virgo discusses the highly topical subject of professional cheating.
Lily Allen Sunday 13 December Brighton Centre If Lily Allen means what she says about jacking in music (and the words ‘pinch’ and ‘salt’ do admittedly spring to mind), this could be your last chance to see the gobby popstrel – outside the West End stage and her new fashion store, that is...
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS453_Social Diary
04
12/3/09
3:27 PM
Page 2
SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps artist Dan Cushing’s celebinspired debut and property agents Callaways Graham Bull, Shelagh & Charles Holcombe, Richard Gillam
Bob Hilder (Land & Brand New Homes), Emma Mukherkee, Nick Mukherkee
That’s the way Callaways estate and lettings agents had a threefold celebration at Square on Western Road last month to mark the 1st anniversary of Callaways, the 18th anniversary of owners RW Hilder & Co Ltd, and their success in the Daily Mail UK Residential Property Awards 2009.
Dan’s the man Acclaimed Brighton-born commercial artist Dan Cushing launched his debut collection, ‘Nursery Rhymes’, at Garage Studios. Including the unveiling of a surprising portrait of Latest 7 columnist Heather Mills [see also VBites, p 7], the collection successfully combines classic tales such as Snow White with well know faces. To find out more information about Dan Cushing and his artwork, visit www.dancush.com
Phil Smith, Eithne Clark, Innis Ferguson, Lee Clark
Micala Wilkins (Alacim Associates), Nigel Williams, Bekki Ellett (4Vation)
005_LS453_Will/Comps
12/4/09
12:51 PM
Page 1
CITY SPEAK 05
Will
L7 is searching for a new local voice – and it’s providing a fascinating opportunity to find out what’s on your minds. Over the next few weeks we’ll be printing some of the submissions. First out of the post bag this week... Amy Strike, 23, Brighton
Will Harris resolves to make no more resolutions
B
ack in January, I made a back, abandoning my resolutions resolution. Actually, I made turned out to be the best resolution thirty. On a mission to instil I could’ve made. some purpose in my life, I drew up a No sooner had I cut the list of challenges for 2009, hareHerculean tasks from my schedule, brained adventures I would retell life rushed to fill in the gaps. My each week through this very column. running boots may have stayed Some of the gathering dust in challenges were the wardrobe, but easy. Perhaps too “Without the tender I soon realised I easy. I abstained could go places touch of Monsieur without them. from hair products, I went Over the months Alberto, I looked to church, I even that followed, I spent the night in like a bichon frise” sunned myself in a squat. It didn’t Barcelona, cycled require much through the effort, I had copy to file each week, foothills of the Balearics, and even and I was growing as a person. donned wetsuit and flippers to take Wasn’t I? Certainly my hair was. a journey to the bottom of the sea Without the tender touch of (at a place, I should add, where the Monsieur Alberto VO5 each morning, sea was roughly the depth of a I looked like a bichon frise. bathtub). Back on home turf, I trod Dodgy barnet aside, it didn’t take the red carpet at a Zac Efron long to dawn on me that some things premiere (dreamy-eyed), hung out on the list I was never going to do. in a hotel room with Amelle from the Run a marathon? Give away £100 of Sugababes (starry-eyed), and my own money? Do me a favour! The stayed up all night arguing about only way that was going to happen religion with Julie Burchill (piewas if I back-handed some eyed). None of this was on the list. endorphine-pumped freak a Ton to All of it was unforgettable. run 26 miles on my behalf. With The Supremes taught us you can’t every week that passed, the tasks I’d hurry love, but it strikes me that – set myself seemed more arbitrary, for all the 21st Century has made less significant. My heart wasn’t in it. hyperactive, instant gratification And so, three months after I’d junkies of us all – life is not started, I surrendered to the something to be forced either. So inevitable. I drew a line under the maybe, just maybe, I learnt whole thing, and got on with something after all (sceptical-eyed). navigating the perils and pitfalls of Here’s to a very merry Christmas, my ordinary, day-to-day existence. and a resolution-free New Year. Oh It seems strange now but, looking yes, and God bless us, every one.
T
his week I visited the worst chip shop in the Southeast. At first it looked hopeful, like the Mika song ‘Golden’ would look if it were a chippy. We stood in the kind of queue you get outside a chip shop at 11.30 at night and snuffed up the glorious smell. But it went downhill from there. The queue wasn’t moving because the queue was stuck to the floor (I was later convinced that I left with enough grease stuck to my shoes to fry a chipolata). When we finally reached the counter, the boy behind the counter did something complicated and painful to the till and had to call for help, at which point a man in a chef’s hat with gruesome stains down his front burst out of the kitchen. He was waving a spatula, which had clearly seen its fair share of action. It was crusted with chip fat and dust, as if he had been running the spatula through cobwebs. As I watched, he brought it down on the poor boys head with a smack before handing us our change. He waved the spatula. “Don’t worry, I’m not using it,” he said, and laughed, his fillings flashing under the strip lighting. The chips were wrinkled blonde prunes; they sat stunned in the
box, trying to convey silently the terrible things that they were about to do to our digestion. The fork splintered on a chip. I have never before seen overcooked potato shatter wood. Why do we do this? Like anyone craving a bag of chips late at night, I imagine chips like gold stones in the bag, glowing with residual goodness, and the man serving us a twinkly-eyed angel with the keys to potato heaven. Instead we stick to the tiles under a buzzing light while a kitchen fascist extracts our dinner from a chip graveyard behind the counter. But why? We could go home and cook a round of potato waffles but we don’t, and I’m beginning to think that the reason we don’t is because we think we deserve it. This isn’t a takeaway; this is punishment for something. A night of excess? But three pints and a couple of Marlboroughs are hardly excessive. No, if the late night chippy is punishment, then it must be for something really bad. Peter Andre and Katie Price perhaps, or the Hundred Years War. Whatever the case, I think it’s time we forgave ourselves and bought pizza instead.
Want to read more from Amy? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Local with lots to say for yourself? Fancy your chances in Latest 7’s Columnist Idol? Send a 450 word sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
COMPETITIONS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER FOR THEATRE FANS Local theatres are laying it on in style this Christmas, offering one lucky Latest 7 reader tickets to some of the best shows due to hit town. Kicking off your theatre extravaganza, we’ve got a pair of top price tickets to see Chicago at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome on 16 December (programme included). Then, on 27 December, you’ll be off to see the opening night of the mighty Showstopper! The Improvised Musical at Komedia, where you’ll also received a Showstopper mug, t-shirt and cool cotton bag. To obliterate those January blues, Brighton’s Theatre Royal is offering tickets to both the Take That musical Never Forget on 6 January, and Motown extravaganza Dancing In The Streets on 11 January.
WIN!
And to round things off in style, you’ll have a box (seating up to four people) at Worthing’s Connaught Theatre on 1 February for the opening night of John Buchan’s classic spy-thriller, The 39 Steps, direct from the West End. They’re even throwing in a programme and bottle of wine. If you miss out on this mega prize, we also have two runners up prizes of tickets to see Showstopper!... plus some Showstopper!... goodies. Q In which Shakespeare play are the words ‘To be or not to be?’ uttered?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 14 December.
006_LS453_James Hull
12/2/09
3:44 PM
Page 1
007_LS453_VBites
12/3/09
3:49 PM
Page 1
VBITES 07
VBites of wisdom
Victoria Beckham. Dan’s artworks are stunning: vibrant, enormous images printed onto sheet metal. What I had loved was the clash of traditional tales or classical imagery with modern themes. There’s a delicious and almost naughty mix of irony and humour in his artworks. In this collection, fabled tales like Snow White and Alice In Wonderland meet celebrity culture. Who wouldn’t want to be Dan’s muse? It takes Dan six weeks to complete his artworks. A lot of work for one pic! Who could live up to Jessica Rabbit? Certainly not a nearly 42 year old Geordie! I was going to be seeing it for the first time along with everyone else invited to the gallery opening. This was going to take nerves of steel. You can see the artwork along with the complete collection at the Frame of Mind Gallery on Blatchington Road in Hove. And my reaction? It hit me that I was
Heather Mills thinks society has become one big fame academy
I
can't say it strongly enough: celebrity culture is harming our children. Don't get me wrong, celebrity has its place but only if it's used to inspire and make a difference. Instead, it is putting undue importance on what is superficial and instilling a belief in children that fame is more important than anything else. It’s hindering the development of our children’s genuine gifts and abilities and potential to become well-rounded adults. They are being taught that fame is a relatively easy target to reach – and nobody really cares how you achieve this goal. As far as I can see, this is what the mainstream media is pushing on our children. Kids are absorbed in pop culture almost from day one. But there has never been anything as powerful as the television cult that perpetuates myths about fame whilst all along reinforcing messages about consumerism. Politicians are powerless to do anything except complain about the nation’s moral “Is getting on the compass having gone haywire. Is getting on the telly the new telly the new nirvana nirvana for the noughties? Has the dream of an access-all-areas for the noughties? golden VIP ticket and a guaranteed Has the dream of a pull on a Saturday night reached religious heights? VIP ticket reached After the daily information overload of fragmented news clips religious heights?” and soundbites, the important issues are all too easily forgotten. All our children are left with is the overriding and all pervasive mainstream influence of a celebrity cult pushing the importance of money, fame, status, beauty, sex and self-recognition of a red carpet nirvana as the ultimate goal for all human aspiration. Maybe it’s an establishment conspiracy to dumb us all down and narrow our kids’ perspective. Or, maybe it’s just another example of the decline in integrity, which goes hand-in-hand with corporations seeking greater and greater profit ahead of civic responsibility for the welfare and wellbeing of the population and our planet. Some say we are living in the ‘information age’. I prefer to call it the ‘too much information age’ where we have elevated irrelevance to the status of news. It might give children in the playground and teenagers on street corners something to talk about when they have little else to do, but this irrelevance does not lead to anything constructive in their lives. Our children deserve better. They are more passionate about the state of our planet than most adults I’ve ever met, and care deeply about the plight of other children worse off than them. We have to stop smothering them with this avalanche of irrelevance, and let their enthusiasm breathe. The future of our planet depends on it. Do you worry about the cult of celebrity affecting children? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Heather’s
DIARY
S
he’s glamorous, sultry, and has men falling at her feet. A real oldschool Hollywood star. Marilyn Monroe? Jayne Mansfield? No, I’m talking about Jessica Rabbit. And on top of all that glamour, she’s smart and moralistic. We all know she’s just a cartoon but, I think you’ll agree, she’s risen above her pen and ink existence. So, why has Brighton artist Dan Cushing decided to depict me as Jessica Rabbit? Flattered? Who wouldn’t be! I’d already seen Dan’s images of Michael Jackson, Madonna and
A VBites Christmas Special
Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com Open 7 days a week 10:30-22:30 (Open 09:30 weekends)
Heather and our Head Chef have being working hard to create a delicious Vegan Christmas menu with plenty of festive cheer. Get the party started with a glass of bubbly before being seated for your choice of starter, main course and dessert. Finish off with our very own mince pies and your choice of Fairtrade coffee or tea. Tables will be decorated with complimentary Christmas crackers and decorations. Our attentive staff will do everything possible to accommodate your special wishes so let us know if there is any particular entertainment you’d like us to arrange (we can do Father Christmas but reindeer may be a little more difficult).
Book early to avoid disappointment
looking at a powerful statement about the media’s depiction of me. When I first saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, little did I know how Jessica Rabbit’s immortal line could be applied to me: “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” [See pictures of the Dan Cushing private view in Social Diary, p 4]
Free New Year’s Eve Part y! Ring in the new year w ith Heather at VBites. Ev er yone’s invited. The fun star ts at 7pm and goes on ’t il late.
see you – Heather
008_LS453_newsphil/Council
12/2/09
3:56 PM
Page 2
08 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
7
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk
days of headlines with Phil Mills
Hundreds of jobs lost at Lloyds; Peter Andre greets fans and mayor lights Christmas tree
T
he Bishop just may have a point. Wishing people happy Christmas might sound very hollow to a lot of people suffering this festive season. The Right Rev Humphrey Southern is based in Derby but his words have hit home here in Sussex more than many counties. Our hearts go out to all those families stricken by deaths and injuries suffered by service personnel in Afghanistan during operations that fewer and fewer of us can understand. And there are casualties of a different kind closer to home. Unemployment is already above the national average in many parts of the county including Brighton and Hove but there was heaps more misery in the past week. More than 100 jobs are going at the University of Sussex and a further 150 were lost at Threshers stores. There’re another 44 posts going from Arun District Council.
More journalists were made redundant but the biggest loss has been at Lloyds. More than 350 people are to lose their jobs at the Lloyds banking call centre in Brighton. The Sussex House contact centre will close in May next year and work will be transferred to other sites. There is something more upsetting about banking job losses when one considers it was the industry’s greed that got us into this disastrous recession in the first place yet it is their workers who are paying the price. Unions put the Lloyds cuts even higher. Rob MacGregor, Unite national officer, sent Latest 7 the following: “Unite the union is astounded that Lloyds Banking Group has decided to cut 410 customer contact jobs. This announcement will effectively mean the closure of a significant office in the Brighton region. The result of this plan is that in just three weeks 580 Lloyds employees
have lost their jobs in this small geographical region of Brighton. “Unite is alarmed about the consequence of this strategy by the Lloyds Banking Group; there have been in excess of 15,000 job losses announced since the formation of this organisation.” It is gloomy but there were a few sprinklings of festive cheer brought to the streets this week. Brighton and Hove mayor Councillor Ann Norman lit up a 20ft Christmas tree at Hove's Floral Clock and children from St Peter's Community Infant and Nursery School in Portslade joined in the festivities and sang Christmas carols around the tree, which was provided by the Council. And Peter Andre brought a few smiles in the streets around his new home near Withdean stadium in Brighton. He was spotted wishing seasons greetings to some of his growing number of local fans. The Bishop is probably right. There will be more reflection around the Christmas dinner tables this year and people will be more careful what they say in their cards and in their verbal greetings to the less fortunate. But, as sure as eggnog is eggnog, the country, Sussex and the city will bounce back, as it has from previous downturns, and Christmas will be celebrated. So here goes: Happy Christmas. Have you been affected by local job cuts? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on a new blueprint for the city
I
f one issue is guaranteed to get local people engaged with the local democratic process it is planning. Be it an application for an extension on a neighbouring property, a proposal for a new supermarket or one of the really major developments such as Brighton Marina or the King Alfred, everyone wants to make their views count. On Thursday I am very much hoping that our new planning blueprint for the city, or ‘Core Strategy’, will be approved by a meeting of the Full Council. I cannot state strongly enough what
an important document this is for residents. Essentially it sets out our vision for how we want the City to develop over the next 10 or 15 years. We are proposing to focus on homes and jobs, building on our success as a tourist destination and making sure we have the right infrastructure to support all new developments such as education, healthcare, amenity space and transport links. In particular, we are proposing the regeneration of current office sites along Preston Road to provide more family housing, and to relocate office space into the city centre where there is currently a shortage and where it is easier for people to travel to work. One site we are particularly excited about is New England House by
Last year there was much publicity in your magazine showing a public demonstration against Starbucks coffee shop in St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton. I was one resident living nearby who actually approved of Starbucks (you printed my letter in March). Fortunately, Starbucks eventually won their planning appeal and have been operating happily in St James’s Street ever since. On Friday 27 November the St James’s Local Action Team and Business Group organised a Christmas Street celebration in George Street when Michelle Collins of EastEnders switched on the Christmas lights. Who were the largest financial supporters of this local event? Starbucks, with a £3,000 donation towards the Christmas lights. Charles Holcombe [Re CoIumnist Idol: Clare Cathcart, L7 451] I enjoy having a chuckle at the musings of the Latest 7 writers and Clare’s effort was just as good. There was an easy flow to her story. Unlike others I’ve read recently who have tried too hard to be funny, Clare just was. Ali Lecky, by email [Re Columnist Idol: Tasha Dhanraj, L7 448] It’s refreshing to have someone young type about something that isn’t trying to be ‘cool’, but is just honest. Most teenagers have these kinds of lives, instead of the lifestyle Skins portrays people to have. Sophie Buijsen, via www.thelatest.co.uk
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
Brighton Station which we want to see develop into a centre for new digital media industries. The Core Strategy also states our desire to provide Park and Ride for the city. Unlike previous attempts which have tried to find one large site, we are saying that we should have three or four smaller sites at the key arterial routes into the city. Finally, I would just like to briefly comment on the recent spate of stories in the local press about use of the drug Meow or Mephedrone, the use of which is reportedly becoming increasingly widespread in the city. If you have any concerns about someone you know who is using this drug please contact Ru-ok?, the substance misuse service for young people in Brighton and Hove, on 01273 293966 or at www.areyouok.org.uk
009_LS453_Bookings/chart
12/3/09
3:57 PM
Page 1
BOOKINGS | CHART
L7 Bookings
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week…
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest
DIVERSITY Brighton Centre, 15 April 2010, £18.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk First UK headline tour from the back-flipping, hip hop-fuelled Britain's Got Talent winners, bolstered here by ‘very special guests’ including fellow contestant, 11-year-old Aidan Davis. The show is based on the concept of ‘toys coming to life’ and promises to be musically, well, diverse.
1 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know Pappy’s
AN EVENING WITH LARRY LAMB Hawth Theatre, Crawley, 11 February 2010, £17.50, 01293 553636, www.hawth.co.uk Larry Lamb, aka Gavin’s dad in Gavin And Stacey, aka Archie Mitchell in EastEnders, shares anecdotes from his 35 year career – starting with quitting his job as an Encyclopaedia salesman.
FIGHTSTAR
FIONN REGAN Komedia, 23 February 2010, £8, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Irish songwriter for whom big things were expected following his 2007 Mercury nomination tours his barnstorming second album, The Shadow Of An Empire, due out on Heavenly in early 2010.
PENDULUM Brighton Centre, 25 May 2010, £22.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Aussie drum ‘n’ bass and whiner rock act whose live shows are renowned for their intensity.
BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB
MARK WATSON Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 20 October 2010, £16.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The host of BBC's We Need Answers and star of Never Mind The Buzzcocks and Mock The Week tours his most personal show to date – he’s dropped the randomly appropriated Welsh accent, for one.
OCEAN COLOUR SCENE Concorde 2, 17 December, £tbc, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Well, frontman Simon Fowler and drummer Oscar Harrison from OCS to be exact – guitarist Steve Cradock being busy touring with the Modfather. This acoustic show should interest anyone who had tickets to see the dad rock faves headline the ill-fated Beachdown earlier this summer.
2 Harper Ash – China Girl 3 Jaybee – Cowboys Blues 4 Spitefire – Blissfully Unaware 5 Spitefire – Voices Of Reason 6 Nig2dmic – Minute Man 7 Chaos Borne – Watching
Concorde 2, 9 February 2010, £12.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Charlie ex-of Busted – aka The Eyebrows – continues to put grunge rock distance between his former and present acts, even going a bit rock opera on latest album Be Human. Billy Boy On Poison and All Forgotten support.
Mark Watson
09
Concorde 2, 29 April 2010, £15, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk More propulsive alt.rock noir as the Jesus And Mary Chain-channeling LA trio tour their fifth studio album, Beat The Devil’s Tattoo, out on 8 March on their own Abstract Dragon label.
8 N-D-E – Bad Habit 9 Panos Christofi – In My Mind 10 Panos Christofi– If You Do What You Do... Seems Nig2demic’s expletive-laden hip-hop number one was a bit rich for some tastes as this week sees ‘Minute Man’ drop to six. Dominant electropopster Panos Christofi returns to the top spot while acoustic singer-songwriter Harper Ash hits number two. L7 columnist and country-dabbler Jaybee climbs to number three with his enjoyably downbeat ‘Cowboys Blues’ as female-fronted emo rockers Spitefire take the fourth and fifth spots with an accessible pop rock double punch.
11 Panos Christofi Only The Night 12 The Hu Ha’s Freedom 13 Chaos Borne I Will 14 The Mojo Fins In The Script
PAPPY’S Komedia, 21 January 2010, £12/10, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Now slimmed down to a trio, the acclaimed sketch group formerly known as Pappy’s Fun Club arrive with their new show, in which they will attempt to break a world record by performing 200 sketches in 60 minutes.
EAT STATIC Concorde 2, 19 March 2010, £12.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Blast! present the longstanding purveyors of sci-fi techno, plus sets from Slycho (live) and DJ Niquid.
Diversity
15 This Mono Galaxy Tangled Knot Of Nerves 16 Rubber Johnny Look @ the Size...
22 Shauna Parker/The Saloon Bar Band Love And Desperation 23 Mike Black No Visible Scars 24 tenek State Of Mind 25 Jim Guittard Hitting The Lotto 26 Zoe Konez When The Snow Came
17 THIS MONO GALAXY 27 BreakinBear Rebel In Cheif Accusations Fly 18 Deadbeat Descendant Journeys Around My Room
28 Getting Away in a Dodgem Car Complications
19 Chaos Borne The Moment
29 Last Days of Lorca Big Green Parcel Machine
20 La Lunalight Hear No Evil
30 Jim Guittard Can’t Be Down...
21 Cayden Cole Dance W/My Father
SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
010_LS453_Snap Shots
12/2/09
3:59 PM
Page 2
10 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Brighton The Musical author Terry Garoghan
“
I was born in Brighton and lived happily in Seven Dials until the hordes of B****** Rich Londoners drove me to the Wastelands of Suburbia. Result! You can stick your arty-farty culture and cosmopolitan café chit-chat right up your historical back passages. Now I park where I like for as long as I like, and for nowt. Plus it’s Brighton’s ‘best kept secret’... it’s Saltdean! But no, my roof isn’t green
”
Terry Garoghan continues his subversive celebration of all things Brightonian from his favourite spot – his garden in Saltdean. Next stop for his Last Bus To Whitehawk RadioShow is Komedia on 15 and 18 December. Brighton The Musical is at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome on March 18.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night NOW BOOKING CHRISTMAS PARTIES & DINNERS CALL ANGI ON 01273 687171
manchester street, brighton
you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
011_LS453_celebcity
12/3/09
4:59 PM
Page 1
CELEBCITY 11
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Dame Evelyn Glennie plays a wheelbarrow, and top entrepreneur Martha Lane Fox recalls car crash
TOP PERCUSSIONISTS ON QUACKERS CHRISTMAS SONG
STARS TURN OUT FOR STEPHEN GATELY Following the shock news of Boyzone star Stephen Gately's very untimely death, a close friend of mine attended the London memorial for the star last week. Also in attendance was Sussexbased celeb Jayne Torvill, who grew close the star when he was a contestant in her ITV 1 show, Dancing On Ice.
R
ottingdean-based musician Pendle Poucher has teamed up with world famous percussionist Dame Evelyn Glennie and Shovell from band M People to make a charity Christmas single with a difference. The version of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’, which is available now from www.presentaid.org, was made with not only the sounds of the before mentioned percussionists but also with Pendle's input – the tune is played on all the various items available in the Christian Aid charity catalogue such as packets of seeds, wheelbarrows and buckets of water. The single also includes a choir of animals including ducks, pigs, chickens, bees and, most bizarrely, mosquitoes. Pendle is not only a composer but also a sound designer and, I am told, a big fan of funny noises! The single will raise much needed funds for Christian Aid as part of their campaign to help people in developing countries to cope with, in particular, the threat of AIDS. Ruth Ruderham, Christian Aid's head of fundraising, says: “It was hard to brief the choir of pigs and chickens, and the bees kept buzzing around. Nevertheless, we feel positive that the musical input from Evelyn Glennie and Shovell will make this a very special Christmas record. “In turn, we hope the record will convince people of the urgent need to buy quirky gifts that make a lasting difference.”
FOX’S FIGHTING TALK
S POTTED! Nick
Last week one of the country’s top female entrepreneurs gave an insight into her success at the Lucky Voice bar in Black Lion Street. Martha Lane Fox, cofounder of Lastmintute.com, is now the owner of the chain of private karaoke venues, with Brighton as its newest addition. Martha was, I must say, very inspirational, urging all in the room to “think big” and “never give up” on your business ideas and ventures, no matter how many people tell you otherwise. Martha also spoke of her near death experience, after she survived a horrific car crash in Morocco in 2004. Martha sustained horrific injuries, including breaking her pelvis in six places and seriously damaging her arms and legs. But she made a full recovery and now sits on the boards of Marks & Spencer, Channel 4 and is on the advisory government committee for digital media inclusion – wow, what a comeback!
Cave – with newly dyed black hair shopping in Bon d Street with his family.
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday during December. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
012_LS453_cheeky/stars
12
12/2/09
3:49 PM
Page 2
ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
✁
Cut out ’n’ keep Christmas spats Y
es! Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, and old men's hats the world over are getting pennies put in them, whether they want them or not. But recent worrying reports have shown that, due to everything in the country being so rosy, there is likely to be a shortage of ammunition for family rows this yuletide season. So we here at Bare Cheek have decided to weigh in and come to the rescue with a handy cut out ’n’ keep list of topics for a potential ruckus that will blaze away until the Epiphany...
go wrong at some point (and sooner than later)? I mean, it's just not what they promised, is it? There's all these glitches, the sound keeps cutting out at key moments of court
dramas so you have to lip-read – and for what? So you can have 120 channels all showing the same episode of Bulman from 1985 starring Don Henderson! And when they switch the radio signal off it means all my lovely Roberts radios will have to go straight in the skip. Bastards.
Postmen: should they be supported in their struggle against an unsympathetic and incompetent management, or lined up against a wall and shot and buried in a mass unmarked grave?
Should the vow in the marriage service ‘Forsaking all others’ be taken seriously or not? The best Alfie: Jude Law or Bill Owen? So there you go. Pour yourself a foaming tankard of QC, stick an orange Quality Street in your gob and choose a subject for your spat at your leisure. Good rowing, and the best of British luck!
Going digital: good idea, or bound to
of heart attack.” goes public.
Is two-thirds of a bottle of Bells too much to imbibe (on top of three glasses of wine, a port, a sherry and five cans of Special Brew) when you're meant to be playing Wii Fit with the kids?
The best Inspector Clouseau: Roberto Benigni or Alan Arkin?
If the death penalty should be brought back for paedophilia, as demonstrated in that extremely sober, and not-at-allsensationalist, Channel 4 programme about Gary Glitter.
> Palpatine: “It’s twins.” > Missing teen found in camera. > Thousands mourn local prostitute. > Brass rubbing “halves chance > Angmering voodoo ring
Immigration.
The best James Bond: Timothy Dalton or David Niven?
Whether Prince Charles is a right and fitting heir to the throne.
NEWS IN BRIEF
> "Marginalised and depressed" Visigoth "eats own hand."
> Here comes crimin' Simon. > Robot Larkin unveiled. > Unsafe laser caused gay mix up. > Shepherd’s lonely death surprise Youtube hit.
What we used to say An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Pre-prepare.” Redundant, tautological prefix to a common verb – as in “We’d better make damn sure we pre-prepare for this AGM in July”, “Anyone not pre-prepared for this merger will come unstuck.” WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Prepare.” SEE ALSO: “Pre-arrange”, “Pre-warn”, “Pre-book”, “Pre-plan”, “Pre-sale”, etc, etc.
BARDSLEY’S
✁
Astral Angi
Astral’s seasonal selection box
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
In the astral selection box, Arians are possibly the make-weights. No offence Aries, I always like finding those little extra choccy surprises between the top and bottom layers. Taureans, by contrast, like to think of themselves as the hard centres in the cosmic choccy firmament. But one bite will reveal you to be far more Curly Wurly than Russian caramel. Geminis are akin to the mint crisps – okay as an after diner treat but ultimately not that satisfying. Preferable to soft mint fillings, though, which taste of toothpaste.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Cancerians are the crunchy choccy cinder toffees in the box. Smooth on the outside but with a brittle interior that can be bitter and burnt. Watch your teeth on this one. Leos would like to be the Lion Bars in my selection box. Sadly they are the Flakes, as dippy and unbalanced as a student’s diet and nowhere near as much fun, I promise you. Virgos are so much like Milky Bars that they are kidding no one when they feign sophistication. Babyish and bland at best and like sweetened lard at their worst.
Libras will be happy to be any confectionary bar you care to mention and equally happy to shed their wrapper and get down to it if you follow my drift. Scorpios should never be found in any selection box. They are the chocolate covered ants, the toffee coated beetles, the candied lug worms, and as such only suitable for perverts. Sagis must at all cost avoid anything with a hard or brittle centre for fear of incurring denture repair expenditure. In my selection box Sagis are jellies or fondant creams – awww.
Capricorns are like Malteasers and by that I mean that they can be enjoyed in so many ways. You can crunch them fast, nibble the choc off or suck slowly ‘til they melt. Aquarians will no doubt be campaigning for some vegan carob alternative, gluten free with a Soil Association certificate – give me a break and pass the Rolos. Pisceans could be those cute foilcovered sardine shaped chocs that look great but taste dull. Far better go to Bardsley’s where Roy will show you his selection box for a smile.
013_LS453 Brighton Centre
12/2/09
4:59 PM
Page 1
014_LS453_Dome
14
12/4/09
1:11 PM
Page 2
COVER FEATURE
Dance fever Strictly Come Dancing’s Brendan Cole dazzles in a show at Brighton Dome
T
his Christmas, brush off your glad rags and head down to Brighton Dome for all the glitz, glamour and passion of ballroom dance. In an all-singing, all-dancing live show, Brendan Cole from BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is joined by a galaxy of championship dancers as they showcase a host of intricate dance moves. Brendan Cole: Live And Unjudged is filled with rich, vibrant costumes and sequins galore. Dazzling dancers will perform a stunning selection of everybody's favourites, from the sensual tango, rumba and cha cha, to the elegance of the foxtrot and Viennese waltz, to a red hot explosion of salsa and jive, all backed by a scorching band of talented musicians and singers.
Special offerET! PRICES
£5 OFF TOP TWO TICK ium seats) (excluding prem
te Call 01273 709709 and quo ‘Latest 7’ offer or book online at www.brightondome.org using the promo code LATEST.
“More spangles and showmanship than you can shake a stick at!” – The Financial Times Brendan Cole: Live And Unjudged, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Tuesday 22 and Wednesday 23 December, 7.30pm; Sunday 27 and Monday 28 December, 2.30pm & 7.30pm. 7.30pm show: £15, £22, £25.50, £29.50, Premium seats £34.50 2.30pm show: £12.50, £20, £24, £27.50, Premium seats £32.50
Not valid in conjunction with any other offer or on tickets already purchased.
015_LS453_interview
12/3/09
5:29 PM
Page 1
COVER FEATURE 15
STRICTLY BRENDAN Kicking off his live show in Brighton, bad boy of ballroom Brendan Cole talks to Andrew Kay about Jo Wood, Darcey Bussell... and making his own frocks
Are all your company from a ballroom background? Yes and it is very different dancing on stage to dancing in competition so it will be very exciting for us. I am dancing with Nicole Cutler, one of the very best dancers around in my opinion. The best dancer I have ever danced with, yes. There are lots of dancers from the TV show. A full stage of pros that I am glad to bring to the show.
You’re singing? Yes, a couple of numbers. It’s a passion of mine. The dance ranges from very intense latin to old style ballroom and we have a fantastic band too. Something for all ages.
Strictly... has given dancers the chance of another career... Precisely, most competition ballroom dancers would never think of going into theatre as it is a very different discipline. After a competition we would normally have made our living from demonstrations, teaching and lecturing. TV has opened up a whole different world for us all. You have gained a reputation for being a bad boy... A hot head, yes. Occasionally I let my feelings run wild and act before I think but as I get older I am learning to control that. I am what I am, I am not scared to give my opinion and it doesn’t always come across very well. On Strictly... you are being judged by a panel of dance specialists but not all ballroom specialists... I’d go easy on the specialists! Okay I’ll get straight to the point. Craig Revel Horwood was a hoofer and is now a choreographer director... Exactly, in series one Len Goodman was the only ballroom and latin expert, his comments were an educated opinion. Craig and Bruno come from a different background but as the series has grown so have they and they are fantastic whether you like them or hate them, agree or disagree. It doesn’t matter, it’s an entertainment show. You must be disappointed to be knocked out this year... You know, I’m not, I had a good run with Jo Wood, six weeks and we weren’t the best. If we had stayed much longer we would have been mocked. It has been one of the best series because of Jo. Have you been able to sample any of the Rolling Stones’ rock ’n’ roll lifestyle? Well, I have been to their house, which is pretty rock ‘n’ roll, and I have been out with Jo and she is very rock ‘n’ roll. But what was really exciting: all
Can you teach anyone to dance? No, I think Strictly... has proved that. Aspects, yes, but no not everything. Strictly... is very popular with the gay community here in Brighton. Well I will out my brother to the press, he is gay and in our company so I am hoping to find him a fella while we are down there. I have a lot of gay fans and get a lot of emails from them.
Are you excited about the first night of your show being in Brighton? Mega excited, I can hardly put it into words. Anxious yes, but very excited as it has been a long time in the planning. I like to think of it as a dance experience with a twist, more of an evening with chat, dance and singing too.
Having won series one of Strictly Come Dancing, has it been hard to live up to that? Well in a way, yes. I love to win and taking the first series was brilliant but also a stepping stone to a new career and to the stage show in my own name.
How young do you need to start dancing to stand a chance of being up there? It depends on the person. I have seen people become champion in three years. If you start too young you can get sick of it in your teenage years.
“Len Goodman is the only ballroom and latin expert, his comments were an educated opinion. Craig and Bruno come from a different background” the stories, 30 years with the Stones, what a ride, and yet she is the most normal, lovely girl you could want to meet. You get an insight into an incredible life and she had helped make it what it is. Are you sad to go out before Darcey Bussell joins the judges? I was very excited about that, I have a soft spot for Darcy. She is one of the only people I have been starstruck by. I met her and couldn’t speak. Shame she wasn’t there from the start. You have other business interests... I can turn my hand to pretty much anything. I used to make ballroom dancing dresses. One guy made some and I thought, ‘I can do better than that’, so I did. I used to be a builder and I thought, ‘if I can put a roof on a house then I can make a frock’. It was just something I did out of necessity.
016_LS453_Badger
12/2/09
3:34 PM
Page 1
017_021_LS453_Luxury Gifts
12/4/09
2:37 PM
Page 1
❄ ❄❄❄ ❄ ❄ Gift Guide ❄ ❄❄ ❄❄ ❄
GIFT GUIDE 17
Jeremy Hoye
❄❄
luxurygifts
Jeremy Hoye, 22a Ship Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1AD, 01273 777207, www.jeremy-hoye.com, sales@jeremy-hoye.co.uk www.twitter.com/jeremyhoye
T
here are only two weekends left to shop before Christmas. Stave off the panic with the latest in our series of special gift guides. This week: luxury presents for loved ones. Here you will find bespoke jewellery and clothing, stunning works of art, plus Thai cooking lessons, luxury chocolates and champagne for the foodies among you. We even have something for the thrill-seekers out there from Brighton-based Kite Surf Kings. Whoever you are buying presents for this Christmas, a little luxury is the perfect way to express your love. Featured on these pages are local companies, making the Christmas shop even easier. We all love to see what we’re buying in person, but for those pushed for time, all these gifts featured are available online. Luxury gifts... luxury shopping experience.
The Toast of Brighton & Hove
18ct yellow gold heart locket, £2,215
Blitz diamond platinum pave set ‘pulse’ ring, £1,975
The Toast of Brighton & Hove Ltd, 40 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FN, 01273 208180, www.toastchampagne.co.uk
18ct white gold pendant with 3.84ct AAA tanzanite on 18ct yellow gold fine trace chain bespoke necklace, £6,175.
Veuve Ice Cube designed by Porsche. The cube is an ice bucket with a lid and a handle, contains 1 x 75cl bottle of Yellow label Brut and four trendy flutes, £89.
Armand De Brignac Ace of Spades. The Champagne in the Gold Bottle! Presented in a black lacquer case with a pewter Ace of Spades logo. Price £23
Triffid 72pt black diamond platinum statement ring, £2,225.
Badger Badger Clothing Company Ltd, 25–26 Bond Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1RD, Menswear 01273 722245/Womenswear 01273 325421
Gala leather gloves, £79; Barbour tartan wool scarf, £85
Skive and Toole, leather hitchcock weekend bag, £160; Skive and Toole, leather wallet, £35.00
Becksöndergaard and Bo Belle leather purses, £15–£55
Belstaff leather Ally bag, £385
018_LS453_Ads
18
12/2/09
3:38 PM
Page 2
>THOUSANDS MORE PROPERTIES AT www.latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
017_021_LS453_Luxury Gifts
12/4/09
2:56 PM
Page 3
GIFT GUIDE 19
Audrey’s Chocolates Simply irresistible Audrey’s handmade chocolates make the perfect gift for all chocolate lovers. Find beautiful selection boxes, irresistible chocolate bars in 10 amazing flavours and sweet treats for kids. See their range online or visit them in store. Audrey’s Chocolates, 28 Holland Road, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 1JJ/also in the East Street Arcade, Brighton. 01273 735561, www.audreyschocolates.co.uk
You will be the belle of any Christmas ball wearing this choker of glittering black diamond beads and Tahitian pearl. Phil Park at Baroque Jewellery, £3,000
Baroque For that special gift, look only to Baroque Jewellery for inspired luxury. Channelling the vogue for all things punk this season, with an added twist of Victoriana thrown in for good measure, this stunning Aphrodite flower pendant [above] is handmade from 18ct white gold and was recently featured in the Financial Times. Unique ethical engagement and wedding rings, available only at Baroque Bespoke Jewellery. The new Molten collection is made entirely from recycled and scrap gold and handmade by one of Baroque Jewellery's goldsmiths. Each ring made is completely unique to the owner and, combined with our selection of conflict free diamonds, you can wear your heart’s desire on your finger with a clear conscience. Prices start at £375 Baroque Jewellery, 9 Union Street, Brighton, BN1 1HA, 01273 777003, www.baroquejewellery.com
Focus SB Limited edition chrome plated iPod touch and iPhone docks, £125 Focus SB, 01424 858060, www.focus-sb.co.uk
Chilli Chicks The authentic Thai cooking experience in Brighton and Hove with Chilli Chicks. Lessons or catering are fun and unique gifts for your loved ones. One-on-one or large groups from £25. Chilli Chicks, 07886 902855, www.chillichicks.co.uk
Kite Surf Kings Christmas gift vouchers at Kite Surf Kings: for loved ones learning to Powerkite, Kitesurf or Landboard. Gift vouchers from £30 to £1000. Brighton based www.kitesurfkings.com or, in case they’re on the beach, 07878 399 419
Eames Fernandez An Eames Fernandez bespoke shirt is pure luxury; a truly personal gift as unique as the person you are buying for. Prices start at £185, Eames Fernandez Bespoke Shirts, 01273 603467, www.eamesfernandez.com
Gallery 94 Perfect Christmas gifts from £25. A fabulous range of fine art prints, sculpture, jewellery and gifts. Open Wednesday to Sunday, 10am–6pm. Gallery 94, 94 North Road (near Bills), Brighton,BN1 1YE, 01273 675991, www.gallery94.co.uk
017_021_LS453_Luxury Gifts
20
12/4/09
2:40 PM
Page 4
GIFT GUIDE Luxury gifts including precious oils, £12.
Gift vouchers available for all values.
North Laine Photography This shot by Roger Bamber shows George IV projected onto his Pavilion and is just one of 57 great images found in the Brighton and Hove Calendar 2010, £5 North Laine Photography Gallery, Upstairs at Snoopers Paradise, 7–8 Kensington Gardens / and NLP Xmas stall, East 1, Churchill Square, (30 yards in from the entrance by Borders), www.brightonphotography.com
Soma Jewellery Lovelinks and Lovelinks Petite Charms. Nominations charms, stacking rings and a wide range of other beautiful silver jewellery. Many new ranges for Christmas including ethically sourced rosewood jewellery as featured in Elle magazine and a stunning collection from a nominee for New Designer of the Year 2009. A friendly service awaits at Soma. Gifts come complete in Soma presentation boxes, finished with handmade bows for the perfect Christmas present. Soma also have their own range of wedding rings handmade in their on-site workshop. Soma Jewellery, 24 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, BN1 1HB, 01273 321332, www.soma-silver.co.uk, info@soma-silver.co.uk
Jewellery Lovelinks and Lovelinks Petite charms Nominations charms, stacking rings and a wide range of other beautiful silver jewellery. Many new ranges for Xmas including ethically sourced rosewood jewellery as featured in Elle magazine and a stunning collection from a nominee for new designer of the year 2009. All offered with a friendly service, our own Soma presentation boxes and finished with handmade bows for the perfect Xmas gift. We also have our own range of wedding rings handmade in our on site workshop.
Soma Jewellery 24 Meeting House Lane, Brighton BN1 1HB 01273 321332 info@soma-silver.co.uk www.soma-silver.co.uk
Treatment Rooms The Treatment Rooms, 21 New Road, Brighton, BN1 1UF, 01273 818444, www.thetreatmentrooms.com
021_LS453_Health&beauty
12/4/09
12:49 PM
Page 1
HEALTH & BEAUTY 21
Party perfect Zara Baker on how to achieve Cheryl Cole’s star style for your Christmas party. Product research by Georgia Mole Cheryl Cole judging The X Factor, Saturday and Sundays on ITV1 (© talkbackTHAMES)
The media seems to have created a style war between X-Factor judges Cheryl and Dannii. In our opinion, they both receive top marks in hair and make-up, although some of their outfit choices on the show have been questionable. Dannii’s edgier punk/rock look has us practising the quiff at home, but Cheryl Cole’s girly/glam style is the perfect look for all your festive parties. I tested the products from affordable brands that could set off a style war of your own... if you happened to get an invite to the same party as Cheryl, that is.
remove properly though and I was noticing glitter around the eyes the next day . Estee Lauder gold effects TurboLash motion mascara £28 available from www.esteelauder.co.uk A gold mascara with a vibrating wand to create fuller, thicker lashes. Our verdict: The TurboLash mascara may be great in black but this glittery gold shade was very subtle on the lashes. It did give them lift and curved them well, but it’s quite pricey.
PERFECT COMPLEXION
❤
Benefit Erase Paste concealer £18.50, available from L7 loves www.benefitcosmetics.co.uk A small ‘wonder’ pot that makes a big difference to skin tone. Our verdict: This came with a tiny spatula but I found myself using my finger. A little goes a long way and there’s a handy ‘how to apply’ sheet too. It didn’t work amazingly on covering skin imperfections but dark eyes were eradicated and my face given a natural-looking glow.
SPEAKING VOLUMES Bumpits – leave-in volumising hair inserts £9.99, available from Sally Salon Services stores nationwide (including George Street, Hove) or 0870 0500 868 for more stockists. A way to transform limp and lifeless locks into this season’s wanted ‘big hair’ party look. Our verdict: Practice practice practice beforehand as they are quite fiddly. The result is great but remember to use lots of hairspray to keep the style in place and the Bumpits covered.
NUDE LIPS: THE EYES HAVE IT 2true liquid eyeliner in 01 black £1.95 (or three for £5, available from Superdrug stores nationwide. A long-lasting gel eyeliner, ideal for a dramatic smoky-eyed look. Our verdict: Unusual packaging, great value and easy to apply, although the tip is slightly too thick to pull off a thin flick on the corners of the outer eye. Benefit Bad Gal black mascara £14.50, available from www.benefitcosmetics.co.uk A volume-boosting black mascara to cheat your way to fuller, longer lashes. Our verdict: Fantastic result but the wand was a tad long making it difficult to apply evenly.
❤
Estee Lauder Signature eyeshadow quad £29 available from L7 loves www.esteelauder.co.uk A luxurious gold compact with a palette of six gorgeous eye shadows in neutral and smoky shades. Our verdict: Easy and smooth application and incredibly long lasting. A must have for every beauty bag.
GOLDEN GLOW: Sun Sparkle Shimmer Body Spray £14.99, available from Sally Salon Services stores (including George Street, Hove) or 0870 0500 868. A shimmery spray for a golden glow. Our verdict: I loved the packaging and it smelled lovely, but the product itself was a little blotchy when applied and rubbed off far too easily.
ALL THAT GLITTERS 2True glitter mascara £1.95 (or three for £5), available from Superdrug stores nationwide. A silver glitter mascara to add subtle sparkle to your peepers. Our verdict: A nice result that is quite subtle but adds a hint of sparkle. It takes a while to
Benefit Lip Plump £14.50, available from www.benefitcosmetics.co.uk A primer to make lips appear fuller and prolong lipstick colour applied afterwards. Our verdict: This was like concealer in colour and texture and had to dry on the lips before applying lipstick. Lips didn’t appear any fuller but my lipstick did stay put for longer. Estee Lauder Signature Hydra Lustre lipstick in gold £17, available from www.esteelauder.co.uk A subtle gold shade perfect for Christmas. Our verdict: This one may not be suitable for all skin tones and don’t be put off by the colour as it appears in the tube. The result was actually quite subtle, giving lips a moisturised and festive splash of colour. Contrast with dark eye make-up.
BEAUTY EDITOR’S CHRISTMAS PARTY TIP: Lash-tastic Nouveau Express Lashes £35 throughout December, Beautique Brighton, 14 Ship Street, 01273 711077/Sue Fleming 07824 887438 Eradicate the need for mascara or ‘visible’ false lashes with Nouveau Express Lashes that last a fortnight. Our verdict: Ideal for the party season – Beautique Brighton have just started doing these lashes. Application takes around 45 minutes, during which time lashes are meticulously bonded to each individual real lash. They have an invisible join so look natural. There’s no need for mascara – saving plenty of time before and after parties. Available in different lengths, a comb and sealer keeps lashes looking great every day. A great beauty buy this Christmas.
022_LS453_Priory
22
12/3/09
3:50 PM
Page 2
HEALTH
Know your limit Alcohol may be flowing this festive season but The Priory offer advice on avoiding a binge
C
hristmas can be a joyful and enjoyable time, giving us the opportunity to spend time with family and friends, meet at social occasions we don’t usually have time for, and generally catch up and celebrate. But as we all know, Christmas can also be a time of tension, loneliness and, above all, difficult social gatherings. Often it can be the smallest things that trigger someone with addictive tendencies to plummet into a Christmas binge. You don’t have to be an addict to realise that Christmas for all of us can be one that needs alcohol management. Social drinking has become an accepted part of our social and business lives, especially at this time of year. Many business meetings, work get togethers and family parties are centred around alcohol. Alcohol Concern suggest a few simple steps to help manage:
DECIDE YOUR LIMIT If you’re out for the night, decide on a limit of how much you plan to drink and stick to it. AVOID ROUNDS Round buying often means you drink more than you want PACE YOURSELF Slow down and take smaller sips, or choose smaller drinks such as a half instead of a pint. Drink water or soft drinks in between alcoholic drinks to dilute the alcohol. KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DRINKING Stronger drinks and larger pub measures can make it difficult to know just how much you’re drinking. Learn the strengths of your drinks so you can stick to your own limits. OPT FOR LESS ALCOHOLIC LONGER DRINKS Top up your spirits with more mixer.
DON’T JUST DRINK Find something else to do while you drink like playing darts or pool, dancing or taking part in a pub quiz. SAY NO TO TOP UPS If your drink is constantly being re-filled, you won’t be able to keep track of how much you are drinking.
If at any stage you are worried about the level of alcohol you are consuming, please seek help immediately. The Priory Hospital Brighton and Hove offer a free confidential assessment. The Priory, 0845 4774679, www.priorygroup.com/addictions
023_LS453_food
12/3/09
3:41 PM
Page 1
ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 23
Food & Drink Andrew Kay returns to the Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori
Curry favour I
n a previous incarnation I was a car-driving commuter. I would power up and down the M23 five days a week to do my job in publishing, and at the time the car was my best economic choice. Each evening I had two landmarks that would cheer me on my way. The first was the seven o’clock pips on BBC Radio 4 that would herald the start of The Archers, a serious addiction that I have since fought to curb. The second came in Patcham and was the sign for the Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori. It meant that home was only 15 minutes away. If the two happened to coincide all was well; if not, it could mean I was running very late and I would have to sit in the car listening to the end of the drama. Happy, well, happy-ish days. Stupidly I never stopped and went there for dinner, partly because in those heady days I did a lot of hefty business lunching. I should have done though. I did review the restaurant a few years ago and found it extremely good, if a little old fashioned. So it was about time to return, which I did last week with Mr L. The restaurant itself occupies an ancient flint building and the rooms are small and labyrinthian. If I am truly honest, the décor is a little old fashioned, but then so is the service. In the case of the décor, it could do with an update, but the service could not be better. Here we received good old-fashioned attention and care. The menu is more modern, not perhaps modern in the trendy Indian way, but there are dishes that are certainly lighter and there is an excellent selection of fish dishes to choose from. So off we went, G&T in hand and a reasonable bottle of red opened and ready. As far as I am concerned, sharing is the way with a good curry so we made a selection of starters. I fancied a classic tandoori chicken tikka but was swayed to try a much lighter version which was pale pink and delicately spiced; a real hit. We also had a king prawn puri, a favourite of mine which ticked all the right boxes with a vibrant and fresh sauce and firm prawns. To follow we chose a lamb dish and one of the fish specials as well as a plate of gigantic spiced “As far as I am prawns. The lamb was amazingly concerned, sharing tender; we had been given the choice of slow braised or tandoori is the way with a cooked meat and the slow method won out. The meat was good curry” simply delicious, succulent and tender, but still packed with flavour. The prawns were scarily big, big enough to frighten a lobster for sure. And they had been cooked with skill, again with firm flesh – I hate mushy seafood – and excellent control in the spicing department. We were both very impressed. We may have felt that we were in for a rather old fashioned meal but we were quite wrong and our final dish was proof of that. A sea bass arrived neatly filleted and baked with a delicious dusting of spices that lifted the fish but cleverly did not overwhelm it. The fish itself was perfectly cooked too, being delicate, moist and scrummy. I don’t get to use the word scrummy often but this really was just that. So happy was I bearing down on the fine protein that I paid little attention to the rice, although I did have a go at the bread which was delicious, and a side of saag bhajee – another favourite – was also first class. The restaurant is a family run business and I was delighted to
find that the owner’s wife is in charge at the range and responsible for creating the fine dishes that we had eaten. I don’t know how common it is to find female chefs in Indian restaurant kitchens but under her control this was pretty fine cooking with a touch of delicacy that I have seldom found. That said, the portions are robust, if not dauntingly generous, and we did struggle to do justice to what turned out to be a feast. I would hasten to add that the prices too were very attractive, with plenty of dishes that certainly would not break the bank and with even the more exotic fish dishes coming in at sensible figures. We didn’t have dessert as they offer a selection of ice-creams that Indian restaurants favour and we were just far too full to contemplate them. I do hope they add some traditional Indian desserts in the future as I love them, even though they are calorific hell. All in all, though, The Elizabethan Cottage does a first rate job. Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori restaurant. 130-136 Old London Road, Brighton BN1 8YA, 01273 507075 Have you been to the Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori restaurant? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
024_025_LS453_Diningdeals
12/4/09
1:21 PM
Page 2
24 DINING DEALS
EAT OUT FOR £5 at 01273 775477
01273 677676
01273 730355
01273 325135
The Chilli Pickle £10 thali & a pint
Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival
Every weekday lunch we are offering any thali plus a crisp pint of Kingfisher or a glass of house wine or soft drink for £10
One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Wednesday inclusive.
Kathmandu Goat Curry, Paneer Tikka Masala, Bengali fish curry, Allepey Coconut & Vegetable Stew and Fragrant Chicken Korma all served with baby naan, dal, rice, veg and pickle
10% service will be added. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
The Chilli Pickle, 2 Meeting House Lane, Brighton House, BN11HB
tel: 01273 323 824
“Break for lunch” It’s a well-known fact that a nutritious lunch will increase your productivity levels. So experience Brighton’s finest contemporary Indian Cuisine & enjoy our new lunch time menu. A variety of mouth-watering specials including authentic Thali lunch. Your time is precious, so call with your lunch time order & we will have your drinks or starters ready upon your arrival. Mention this advert for complimentary glass of wine or Cobra* Strictly only redeemable Monday–Friday 12–3pm Opening hours: 12–3pm & 6pm–11pm
Merry Christ as m Celebrate Christmas in style without the Turkey, private room with karaoke and bar. Serving the best chinese food in the city, situated in the heart of the Lanes. Gars Restaurant, 19 Prince Albert Street, BN1 1HF
www.gars.co.uk
Tel:01273 321 321
www.agrabrasserie.co.uk 60 Ship Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1AE 01273 324384
gourmet three-course lunch on Saturday or Sunday and receive a complimentary bottle of our selected wine. Book a
The restaurant at drakes 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934 www.therestaurantatdrakes.co.uk Valid until 22 December 2009. One bottle per table. Diners must bring this coupon. Menu prices £25.00 p.p. for 3 courses.
01903 812347 23 High Street, Steyning, BN44 3YE
2 for 1 on our bar
home comforts menu Excludes main restaurant. Offer available until the end of December. Terms and conditions apply.
SPECIAL OFFER £25.00
2 course meal for two with 1/2 LTR carafe of wine included
(+10% optional service charge) Avail: Tues to Thurs 12 till 7pm & Friday and Saturday 12 till 6pm only Tel: 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk 196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ
Please bring this voucher with you
024_025_LS453_Diningdeals
12/4/09
3:00 PM
Page 3
DINING DEALS 25
Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
10%
t Discoun with this advert
SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com reservation@newsteinehotel.com
Enjoy Christmas at
The Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori (Established 1987)
Fabulous (4 course) Christmas Day Family Lunch Papadom and Chutney
Starters (choose one) Chicken Chat, Onion Bahji, Tandoori Chicken, Chicken Tikka, Meat or Vegetable Samosa Side Dishes Bombay Potato, Onion Bahji, Mushroom Bahji, Chana Masalla, Sag Aloo
Elizabethan Special Main Course
(choose one) Served with Pilau Rice Badami Kurma Chicken, Murgh Kurchan, Elizabethan Special Biryani, Murgh Masalla, Fish Tikka, Chicken Tikka Balti (with nan), Elizabethan Special Jalfrezi.
Dessert and Coffee
£19.99 per person (Drinks not included, King Prawn dishes £2.50 extra)
Special Mouthwatering Dish Kulchi Lamb Full four course meal for four persons. Choose one starter & one side dish from the above list. Price includes a bottle of house wine (white or red)
£29.99 per person (Advance notice required)
130/136 Old London Road, Patcham, Brighton, BN1 8YA ADVANCED BOOKING ESSENTIAL ON 01273 507075 (10% service charge)
026_LS452_Hotlist
26
12/2/09
4:02 PM
Page 2
HOTLIST
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
The Plough Inn New to the Golden Lion Group, the Plough Inn at Rottingdean is a lovely, cosy pub offering great beer, fine wines and excellent homemade food lunch & evenings. Favourites include the steak and Guinness pie and Mediterranean vegetable lasagne. Vicarage Lane, Rottingdean, 01273 390635
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers Koba Bar
The Chilli Pickle exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops
L’Église
Spinelli Coffee
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
027_LS453_Stage
12/3/09
3:23 PM
Page 1
STAGE 21
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 8 to Monday 14 December>
Stage
ROYAL LINE UP Brighton’s premiere theatre venue is set to open the new year with a stunning season
T
he arrival of the new season brochures is alaways a much anticipated moment here at Latest 7. And none more so than that of Brighton’s Theatre Royal. When the Ambassador Group bought the Theatre Royal a few years back they promised us a West End experience by the sea – and they have certainly kept that promise, with an increasingly prestigious line up from season to season. The new programme is no exception, with a wide range of theatrical events and a glittering list of stars to match. What most impresses about Ambassador’s programming is a commitment to balance. It would no doubt be an easy route to fill the theatre week on week with totally
Brenda Blethyn
commercial productions, tribute shows and the like. Instead we get a wide ranging programme that encompasses the popular and the more demanding ends of what theatre has to offer. The great thing is that they are, by employing this tactic, attracting and growing a wider audience for all kinds of live performance. This is clearly shown in their partnership with Rambert Dance Company – for four days the venue will be packed with contemporary dance fans of all ages and recent converts who have come, through the Theatre Royal, to love this most exciting of dance companies. Their new piece, The Comedy Of Change is already receiving excellent notices and promises to be as popular as last season’s Eternal Light. On a lighter note, former Brooksider Philip Olivier comes to Brighton with a return visit of Never Forget. Great songs and a fun plot make this Take That musical so much more than a tribute show. Spike Milligan’s Adolf Hitler, My Part In HIs Downfall has all the irreverent charm of the great absurd comedian in his prime. Cleverly staged, it is a funny and moving account of life for a conscripted youngster clearly ill equipped for military service, let alone conflict. We all love a good Noel Coward and Present Laughter is one of the best. This production stars Robert
Stagelistings > Tuesday 8 to Monday 14 December > THE BASEMENT, BRIGHTON 01273 699733 www.thebasement.uk.com Jingle B******* Drinks, dinner and a twisted panto (‘Christmas Dinner: A Contemporary Pantomime’) – from Manc company Until Thursday. >11–13 Dec, 7.30pm, £49 PAVILION THEATRE, BRIGHTON DOME 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org Them With Frozen Tails Festive alternative to panto for the whole family. Audience interaction and a fair amount of improvisation. >>8–13 Dec, Tue-Thu 10am & 1.30pm, Sat-Sun 11am, 2pm &5pm, £8/£6 or £25 family ticket
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk The Snow Queen Presented by Chichester Festival Youth Theatre. A new musical adaptation of the Hans Christian classic. >16–31 Dec, various times and prices, see website for details BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE, www.the-little.co.uk Dracula Liz Lochhead's new adaptation of Bram Stoker's iconic tale. >12–19 Dec, 7.45pm, £7.50 EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Jack And The Beanstalk Classic pantomime starring Emma Barton as Jack.
Rosamund Pike
Bathhurst and Belinda Lang, who has become a Coward connossieur with her soignee sophistication. We all await with baited breath the arrival of Brenda Blethyn in Edna O’Brien’s Haunted, which will be a real treat for those of us who have admired her many brilliant film roles in recent years. To announce Tim Macinnery and Robert Glenister in one production is a coup, but to top it with Rosamund Pike in the title role of Hedda Gabler is a coup de grace. Portraying Ibsen’s most demanding heroine, she will no doubt provide one of the many season highlights. And what season would be complete without a great, if not
the greatest of all musicals? Oklahoma! has been winning the hearts of audiences since it opened in the ‘50s. Mark Evans, a West End veteran, will be taking to the meadow as Curly in the magical but dark Rodgers and Hammerstein classic. With Paul Nicholas in The Pirates Of Penzance and Gary Wilmot joining Lee meads in Lord Arthur Saville’s Crime, plus a revival of Alan Bennett’s The History Boys, this season is a banquet of theatrical treats peppered with stars. For full details of the Theatre Royal’s new season go to www.ambassadortickets.com/Theatr e-Royal-Brighton
>11 Dec–10 Jan, 6/7pm with 2/2.30pm
THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Peter Pan Off to Never Never Land with an all-dancing extravaganza. >4 Dec–3 Jan, times vary daily. various times and prices, see website for details
matinees, various prices, see website for details EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Grumpy Old Women Live 2 With Jenny Eclair, Wendi Peters and Susie Blake. >10 Dec, 7.30pm, £20 CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Cinderella Panto with Julian Clary. >12 Dec-3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details
WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE, 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Robinson Crusoe Classic pantomime fun, starring Coronation Street’s Tracy Shaw. > 3 Dec–3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details
NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.newventure.org.uk The Lying Kind A series of misunderstandings builds into this modern-day black farce. > 5–12 Dec, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee 6 Dec, £8/£7
WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE, 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Cinderella End-of-the-pier traditional panto stars Todd Carty as Buttons. > 10 Dec–3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details
028_LS453_musiclist/clublist
28
12/3/09
3:43 PM
Page 2
MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 8 December to Monday 14 December >
> Tuesday 8 to Monday 14 December >
>highlight SUPERDUBPRESSURE 4TH BIRTHDAY The lord of dubstep raves and ambassador of Brighton’s dub scene is celebrating four years of ripping up dancefloors and battering bass bins with a line-up that'll see the 50k rig take a blistering performance check! Heading up the gig is one of South London's dubstep innovators and deck fingers on the seminal Dubstep Warz show on Radio 1, Distance. The soundsystem hardware better be punching well above the weight required for most club music to take on these full fat beats. Lets show 'em the South knows rave.Friday 11 December, Concorde 2
AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Dust off your disco shoes and polish up your disco balls... 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 NEW HERO Let's Kill Disco. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–3am, £3/1 PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
>
>
>
>
> >
WEDNESDAY 9 AUDIO Supercharged. Supercharged favourite Krafty Kuts delivers his unique blend of beats, breaks and basslines! 11pm–2.30am, £5/3 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, dubstep and chart tracks. 11pm–3am, £1
>
> >
THURSDAY 10 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal. 10pm–3am, £3/2 DIGITAL Thursday Club. Channel one twisting out roots rock reggae music plus Dub Man, Kromestar. 11pm, £7 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Hip-hop, dup step and D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12am HONEY CLUB Fusion. Six DJs, three rooms of sexy R’n’B, indie and house, one place to be. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 VOLKS Black Label Promotions. Dub. 10pm, £tbc
>
> > > >
TUESDAY 8
BRIGHTON COALITION Freak Bazaar. Electronica and smooth beats. 10pm–6am, £10/8 CONCORDE 2 Superdubpressure 4th Birthday. 11pm–4am, £10/8 DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Drink, Dance, Repeat. Mixing and mashing together all your favorites! 11pm–4am, £5/3 HONEY CLUB Union. Full of heavy beats, dance anthems, club classics, D'n'B & dubstep! 10.30pm–4am, £5 JAM Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 11pm–3am, free KOMEDIA Balkaneasca. A wild, frenzied mix of brass-heavy Gypsy beats. 11pm, £6/5 OCEAN ROOMS Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces. 11pm–5am, free PO NA NA Ice Box. Awesome funk, soul, house and dance floor cutz. 10pm–3am, £6/5 VOLKS Carbon. Forward thinking bass noise from Seba and Instra:Mental. 11pm, £5 b4 11.30pm
Kunt And The Gang + Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer Very likely to sell out, Basildon's king of sweary, offensive electro-pop silliness is an acquired taste but brilliant if you like such filth. Caroline of Brunswick, 7.30pm. £5 Stephen Malkmus And The Jicks The former Pavement frontman's new band retains his previous band's charm and catchy, quirky indie. Komedia, 8pm. £14 Thomas Dybdahl Norwegian folk songwriter. Freebutt, 7.30pm. £tbc Tudo Bem UK based Brazilian samba funk. Latest Music Bar, 8pm. £5
>
>
> > > >
>
> >
TUESDAY 8
>
FRIDAY 11
>
SATURDAY 12 AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Floorplay. Electro-house, tech and energetic classics from our hardworking B-Town DJ duo. 10.30pm, £10/7 CONCORDE 2 Wiggle + Postive Xmas Party. Deep, druggy, basement-shaking sounds. 11pm–4am, £7 DIGITAL Hospitality. A Christmas stocking rammed with All Star Bass & Beats from High Contrast and Logistics plus Bristol's finest go B2B, DJ Die and Break. 10pm–4am, £12.50 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA Brighton Rock. Classic rock and metal from the last four decades. 11pm, £8/6 KOMEDIA Stone To The Bone. ‘70s Motown, Psychedelic soul and funk. 11pm, £5 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 VOLKS BlackBox. Dubstep, mutant D'n'B and Jungle. 11pm–5am, £6/8
>
>
>
>
>
> > >
>
SUNDAY 13 HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free
> >
> > >
WEDNESDAY 9 Bob Mould Former frontman of post-rock heroes Husker Du and Sugar; still as vital as ever despite more than two decades in the business. Concorde 2, 7.30pm. £15 LMB All Stars Soul, funk and pop covers. Latest Music Bar, 8pm. £7/6 (£25 inc meal) Oysterband British folk rockers following in the accessible footsteps of REM. Lancing College, 7.30pm. £15 UK Labour Of Love Tour: UB40 + Eddy Grant The Brummie UK reggae legends of thirty years, albeit without original vocalist, Ali Campbell. Brighton Centre, 8pm. £35
> > > >
BIMM End Of Term Party One Showcase from Brighton Insitute of Modern Music's ‘09 cohort. Concorde 2, 7pm. £4 Heavy Load Album launch party for this punk band with members with learning difficulties. Komedia, 8pm. £5 Mean Poppa Lean Popular Brighton-based funkadelic party-starters. Hanbury Club, 8pm. £8 Melting Vinyl Christmas Show: The Miserable Rich + Melodica Melody and Me + Jo Burke + Curly Hair Special festive show featuring local bands including classical flavoured purveyors of acoustic indie, The Miserable Rich. St George’s Church, 7.30pm. £7 Piney Gir Quality nu-folk from this eccentric Kansas lady. Actually succeeds in being quirky without being kooky, admirably. Freebutt, 7.30pm. £5.50 Robb Johnson And The Irregulars: The Ghost Of Love Darkly comic concept album performance. Komedia, 8pm. £8/6
> > >
> >
> >
>
tues 8 dec brazillian samba funk band charlotte glasson+feijoadatraditional brazillian food 8pm £5
wed 9 dec christmas party special the lmb all stars playing soul/funk/pop classics £25 3 course xmas menu. diners must book in advance 01273 687171 doors 8pm show 9pm £6 in advance/£7 on the door for those not eating
thurs 10 dec catalyst club a monthly event which blends the old traditions of a
BIMM End Of Term Party Two Showcase of some of the best acts at the Brighton Institute of Modern Music this year. Concorde 2, 7pm. £4 Lightning Bolt Damnedly great one-man show; insane guitar and drums psychedelic rock. Audio, 7pm. £9.50 Only Men Aloud! Stars of Last Choir Standing. Brighton Dome, 8pm. £20–29.50
> > >
french salon with debating societies 8pm £5
Alternative TV + The Fallen Leaves + Chester + DJ Ian Part Time Punk veterans, featuring Sniffin' Glue editor Mark Perry's Alternative TV. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm. £8/7 Har Mar Superstar Everyone's favourite Ron Jeremy-esque comedy pop idol. Concorde 2, 7.30pm. £9 Jools Holland And His Rhythm And Blues Orchestra + Ruby Turner Jools hosts his regular festive do, this time with soul queen Turner. Brighton Centre, 8pm. £31.50 LMB All Stars Christmas Party Soul, funk and pop covers with festive food and hijinks. Latest Music Bar, 8pm. £7/6 (£25 inc meal) London Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert featuring Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 and Brahms' Symphony No. 1. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm. £10-32.50 Surfin' Lungs + Leonard & Bubba's Delicious Goo Goo Cluster Spoof bluegrass. Prince Albert, 8pm. £tbc
> > > > > >
Christmas Concert: Royal Philharmonic Orchestra + Brighton Festival Chorus + Brighton Festival Youth Chorus Festive classical concert with James Morgan conducting and Juliette Pochin, mezzo-soprano. Brighton Dome, 4pm. £10–25 Lily Allen The mouthy London pop poppet tours hit album It's Not Me, It's You. Brighton Centre, 8pm. £23 Shiny Things Present 3sum Sundays: The Ben Poole Band + Paul Diello and Friends + Mike Newsham Ben Poole's blues band with support from introspective singer songwriter Diello. Latest Music Bar, 8pm. £6/4 U Roy: The Abyssinians + Rough Cut + Vincent Knap + Askala + Ziggy Anderson + Anbassa Sound System + MC Trouper Seminal reggae veterans head a full line-up of roots acts. Concorde, 7.30pm. £15
> > > >
MONDAY 14 Dillinger Four + Hard Skin + Ted Leo + 4LW + Southport Punk line-up featuring the acclaimed Ted Leo of The Pharmacists fame. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm. £tbc Phantom Limb + Bigbang + The Laylanas Soul/ country fusion with Massive Attack’s Yolanda. Latest Music Bar, 8pm. £6/5 Suspiciously Elvis Tribute to Elvis Presley. Komedia, 8pm. £18.50/30 (inc food) William D Drake + Crayola Lectern Eccentric gent mixing 'psychedelic piano and trumpet'. Komedia, 8pm. £7.50 Nick Aldwinckle
> > >
advance/£7 on the door for those not eating downstairs: sussex columbia solidarity benefit with
fri 11 dec private christmas party to book your private christmas party call ruth or megan on 01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk
sat 12 dec upstairs: christmas party special the lmb all stars playing soul/funk/pop classics £25 3 course xmas menu. diners must book in advance 01273 687171 doors 8pm show 9pm £6 in
01273 687171
SATURDAY 12
>
FRIDAY 11
AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Detention. Weekly student trash bash. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/free Jaime Pettit
> >
SUNDAY 13
THURSDAY 10
>
MONDAY 14
manchester street, brighton tel.
>
Status Quo The three-chord wonders return as Parfitt and Rossi celebrate 40 years as a band. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £31.50 The Louche Psychedelic country pop. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
sun 13 dec upstairs: private party to book your private party, wedding or anniversary call 01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk downstairs: shiny things presents 3 bands 7.30pm £6/4
mon 14 dec phantom limb a fusion of country and soul 8pm £6/5 in advance
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
029_LS453 musichighlights_news
12/3/09
2:19 PM
Page 1
MUSIC NEWS 29
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 8 to Monday 14 December >
MELTING VINYL XMAS PARTY Long established local promoters MV have put together a chilled, folky-style bill as befits the coming of Christmas and the wonderful church venue. Headliners The Miserable Rich have been carving out a following with their offbeat strings’n’folk songs while the youthful Melodica, Melody And Me have taken leaves out of the classic ‘60s folk songbook but transplanted them to the end of the noughties. Thursday 10 December, St. Georges Church
With Jeff Hemmings
HEAVY LOAD Stars of their very own movie, and disability rights activists, Brighton’s Heavy Load launch their Wild Things 2 CD tonight, featuring learning disabled musicians from Brighton and around the world. Punk with the emphais on unpretentious fun, Heavy Load are building up quite a cult following. All proceeds go to the Stay Up Late campaign. Thursday 10 December, Komedia
PHANTOM LIMB They’ve just finished touring with Will Young and this Bristol band are looking to build on that exposure with a series of headline dates. Their country-soul hybrid is fronted by the magnificent gospel/blues voice of Yolanda Quartey, who has also sung with Massive Attack recently. Monday 14 December, Latest Music Bar
MOST DESIRABLE Fresh from supporting Deep Purple, Brighton’s The Crave discuss being out-rocked by a ten-year-old on YouTube
L
Phantom Limb
LILY ALLEN Her journey to the top has been swift, clinical and sometimes controversial. But her clearly heard, and often funny, storytelling lyrics combined with a skanking beat have endeared her to the masses. Even if she is annoying... If her promise to ‘give up music’ holds, this could be her last Brighton show ever. Sunday 13 December, Brighton Centre
ong live rock ’n’ roll, somebody once said. And while the notion of pure, unadulterated nononsense rock was for a time the preserve of the underground and the unreconstructed greasy rocker, the advent of The Darkness in particular has brought about a revival in fortunes which were strengthed by the reformation and re-assessment of an endless stream of ‘rock’ bands from the ‘70s and ‘80s such as AC/DC, Whitesnake and, er, Boston... Brighton’s The Crave display all the traditional trappings of classic rock – big choruses, epic verses, plenty of on-stage posturing and falsetto wailing. It’s brilliantly done, and the stage is now set for them to really take off. “We’ve been together a long time – too many years to mention – but things are beginning to really happen for us,” says frontman Ryan Burnett. Ryan came down from Manchester while guitarist Carlos Garcia journeyed all the way from the South American country of Ecuador. “When I was 18 I needed to get out. The music back home is great but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I came over by myself and ended up loving it and stayed.” From the all-important ‘toilet’ circuit to the biggest arenas and festivals (including Download
and Sonisphere), The Crave have already experienced much of what life as a rock band has to offer. But it’s back to basics for their headline tour this month. “We’ve experienced all sides of it. We’ve done many ‘toilet’ gigs. It’s pretty much a full-time job now. We all do a bit of stuff on the side to make ends meet but it’s all music related,” says Ryan. They’ve done nine tours this year, the last one with legendary rockers Deep Purple. “It was pretty intense, playing to a bunch of balding dads in denim jackets,” says Ryan.” It’s good to see the Deep Purple fans getting our music though. The mums and dads brought their kids – a lot are learning guitar and wanted to see ‘Smoke On The Water’ live.” Are the Purple still living it large? “Yeah, they get pretty messed up on their herbal teas, and salmon fishcakes... Actually I did see some halfdrunk whiskey bottles lying around, so...” Already the kids are getting it... “We found on YouTube a ten-year-old kid playing our single ‘High’ on an electric guitar and nailing it!” says Ryan. “I don’t even know how to play the solo to that song. Impressive!” The Crave, Saturday 12 December, The Freebutt
030_LS453_Art/Events wit#4EC88F
30
12/3/09
3:36 PM
Page 2
EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 8 to Monday 14 December >
> Tuesday 8 to Monday 14 December >
CHRISTMAS MARKETS
Russian Art & Fashion
Steer yourself away from the highstreet and towards one of Brighton’s many festive markets for a more alternative approach to Christmas shopping this year. The most prominent of these has to be Brighton Christmas Market, held at the Brighton Centre on 20 December, and great for those last minute stocking fillers. Not only does this event offer stylish accessories, fine wines, handmade nibbles, organic beauty products and endless other gift ideas, it’s set alongside the fantastic Heart Winter Ice Rink. Children under seven can also meet Santa. Besides this festive extravaganza are numerous other smaller markets, such as the Brighton Marina Christmas Market and The Guerrilla Art Market [see Art Highlight opposite]. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday until 20 December, Brighton Marina lights up with festive cheer. Relax with a glass of mulled wine and listen to the carols or peruse the stalls of the German style market, with its handmade decorations, wreaths and gingerbread delights, whilst the children are entertained at the inflatable Blizzard Beach. For more information visit www.smbevents.co.uk/christmas-market, www.brightonvisitor.com/Brighton_Christmas, www.theguerrillaartmarket
Events highlights 10 DECEMBER
11 DECEMBER
Christmas is coming! Festive fun for children aged five and under. Lewes Castle, 169 High Street, Lewes 10.30am-12.00pm, £4 per child, please contact the castle to book in advance www.sussexpast.co.uk
Germinids Meteor Shower Telescope House opens for a crystal clear view of the spectacular meteor shower. Subject to weather conditions. Warm clothing recommended. The Observatory Science Centre, Herstmonceux, Hailsham 01323 832741 www.the-observatory.org
>
10 DECEMBER The Ghost Walk of the Lanes 70 minute tour around Brighton's most haunted quarter with costumed guide. Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday until Christmas. Meet outside the Druid's Head pub, Brighton Place, 7.30pm. Adults £5, children £2 For more information visit www.ghostwalkbrighton.co.uk
>
Olga Forster, Dimos Malkoff and Natalie Beloff are displaying acrylic, oil and watercolour paintings, while Dina Malkova’s makes clothes and accessories from natural materials and antique fabrics from Central Asian. Polina Shepherd and Brighton Russian Choir will sing folk songs on 12 Dec, 1pm. Part of the Xmas Open Houses. Russian Art & Fashion, 18 Northumberland Court, 62-64 Marine Parade, Brighton. 12/13 December.
Guerilla Art Market
Stephowl by Keeki
This year’s Market offers opportunities to purchase art and hand crafted goods; from hand-painted T-shirts, hand-made books and self-published ‘zines to oil paintings, limited edition prints and sculptures, the artists will be on hand to guide you. Local musicians Peggy Sue And The Pirates will be performing. The Guerilla Art Market, Brighton Media Centre, 15-17 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 384200. 12/13 December
Mocksim
Co-rated (as opposed to curated) by The Grey Area’s Huw Bartlett, Mocksim features the work and art performances by Manfred Wiesner, Emilia Telese, Kevin Smicle, Mike Russell, Jonathan Gilhooly, Rowena Easton, Rachel Andrews and Liam Doogan. Many of theses artists took part in this year’s esteemed Venice Biennale International Art Festival. Mocksim, Moksha Caffé, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890. Until 4 January 2010
>
11 DECEMBER Royal Pavilion Christmas Banquet Feast in the ornate Banqueting Room of the Royal Pavilion. Ticket price also includes costumed guided tour, Christmas entertainment and mulled wine. Royal Pavilion, Brighton, 7-11pm, £85 per person, £750 per table of 10. Book on 03000 290902 or visit www.royalpavilion.org.uk for further information
>
Osbourne Vistas As part of Christmas Artists Open House, David Streeter’s snowy postcard scenes are printed on recycled card and available in packs of up to 24. There will also be signed and framed prints and one-off driftwood sculptures, plus South African born Laetitia de Chazal’s landscapes, abstracts and nudes and work from some of Streeter’s graduates from his digital photo summer course. Osborne Vistas, 54 Osborne Villas, Hove. 12/13 December
BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989
Lunch time Special • Pasta & main course dishes for £4.90 • A large selection of Tapas from only £2.60 each Dine for
£10
2 courses & a glass of wine OR
25% off total food bill from A La Carte Menu Terms and conditions: Excludes Saturdays and Bank Holidays. 1 voucher for up to 6 people. BRING THIS VOUCHER. Please book in advance.
Sunday Special Paella • Large paella for £9.90 each (min 2 ppl) 36 Church Road, Hove BN3 2FN, Hove
01273 770355
031_LS453_film
12/3/09
2:24 PM
Page 1
Supported by
FILM 31
filmhighlight
L7 Film
The Box (12A) Dir: Richard Kelly
It’s the 1970s and professional couple Cameron Diaz and James Marsden are seriously skint. Yes, even beautiful people can be poor. Then one day a mysterious box is delivered, shortly followed by a disfigured man (Frank Langella) who tells them that if they press the button in the box two things will happen: someone they don’t know will die and they will get one million dollars. What to do? Well, investigate further seems high on the agenda. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Showing this week The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) Dir: Chris Weitz
Bella’s in love with vampire Edward but he’s taking himself out of harm’s way and leaving her brokenhearted. Good thing best mate Jacob is on hand to help mop up the pieces and integrate her back into normal life. Did we say normal? Strike that and introduce a new werewolf element. Bella’s in danger again. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
A Serious Man (15) Dir: Ethan Coen
Where The Wild Things Are (PG) Dir: Spike Jonze
2012 (12A) Dir: Roland Emmerich
This is from the guy that brought us Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow, so when he says there’s an end of days – you’d better believe it. Massive effects and a traumatised cast, including John Cusack and Thandie Newton, combine in a struggle for the survival of mankind. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Worthing
The much-loved children’s classic gets the ‘visually stunning’ treatment as director Spike Jonze and acclaimed children’s author Maurice Sendak join forces to translate the latter’s classic picture book to the big screen with as much finesse and as few visible joins as possible. The story sees a misunderstood young boy, Max, land on an island entirely populated by mysterious and in some cases massive creatures – aka the Wild Things. They embrace him into their community and, desperate for a leader, make Max their new king. But ruling and keeping his subjects happy proves more of a challenge than he bargained on. Sumptuous and compulsive for all ages, this much anticipated spectacle will likely be a Christmas favourite for years to come. Showing at Odeon, Duke Of York’s and Connaught
A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Jim Carrey is the bad-tempered Scrooge, barking instructions at his hapless employee Bob Cratchit (Gary Oldman) and refusing his nephew
(Colin Firth)’s invitation to Christmas. Come Christmas night and easy sleep is not on the cards as he is visited by
three ghosts of Christmas, hoping to scare the bejiggers out of him. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
A dark comedy starring Michael Stuhlburg in the title role as a moral man with events conspiring against him. From his wife’s infidelity to his subsequent move into a motel, and still more escalating bad things, this is a tale of a good man suffering the fates, and their joy in prodding him. Showing at Duke of York’s
Benny And The Bull (15) Dir: Paul King
Directed and written by the maker of The Mighty Boosh – in fact it was Fielding and Barrett’s particpation in this as supporting actors that spurred them to commit to their own Boosh project. Stephen and Bunny leave England for an odyssey of adventure and random meetings that soon tests their friendship to the limit. Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 8
TUESDAY 8
TUESDAY 8
TUESDAY 8
2012 (12A) 12.30, 4.00, 5.30, 7.45 The Box (12A) 12.45, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.00, 2.15, 4.45 The Descent: Part 2(18) 7.00, 9.30 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.30, 9.15 Public Enemy No 1 (15) 8.30 Paranormal Activity (15) 2.00, 4.15, 6.45, 9.00 Planet 51 (U) 1.30, 3.45, 6.15 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 11.45, 1.45, 2.45, 5.00, 5.45, 8.00, 8.45
A Serious Man (15) 1.45 (Silver Screen) Bunny And The Bull (15) 4.00 (Silver Screen), 6.00 Funny People (15) 11.00am (Silver Screen)
2012 (12A) 1.10, 4.40, 8.00 The Box (12A) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 9.00 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 1.20, 6.20, 8.50 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 8.20 Nativity (TBC) 4.00 Paranormal Activity (15) 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00, 9.20 Planet 51 (U) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50, 9.10 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 11.40, 2.45, 5.30, 8.30
Bright Star (PG) 2.00, 7.30 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 4.45
WEDNESDAY 9
FRIDAY 11
2012 (12A) 1.10, 4.40, 8.00 The Box (12A) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 9.00 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 1.20, 6.20, 8.50 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 8.20 Nativity (TBC) 4.00 Paranormal Activity (15) 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00, 9.20 Planet 51 (U) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50, 9.10 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 11.40, 2.45, 5.30, 8.30
Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 4.30, 7.00
WEDNESDAY 9 2012 (12A) 12.30, 4.00, 5.30, 7.45 The Box (12A) 12.45, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.00, 2.15, 4.45 The Descent: Part 2(18) 7.00, 9.30 Harry Brown (18) 8.30 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.30, 9.15 Paranormal Activity (15) 2.00, 4.15, 6.45, 9.00 Planet 51 (U) 1.30, 3.45, 6.15 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 11.45, 1.45, 2.45, 5.00, 5.45, 8.00, 8.45
THURSDAY 10 2012 (12A) 12.30, 4.00, 5.30, 7.45 The Box (12A) 10.45, 12.45, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.00, 2.15, 4.45 The Descent: Part 2(18) 7.00, 9.30 Dorian Gray (15) 10.30am Law Abiding Citizen (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.30, 9.15 Paranormal Activity (15) 2.00, 4.15, 6.45, 9.00 Planet 51 (U) 1.30, 3.45, 6.15 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 11.45, 1.45, 2.45, 5.00, 5.45, 8.00, 8.45
WEDNESDAY 9 Le Donk and Scor-zay-zee Slackers Club (15) 1.45 A Serious Man (15) 6.30 Bunny And The Bull (15) 4.00, 9.00 Funny People (15) 11.00am (Silver Screen)
THURSDAY 10 A Serious Man (15) 1.30, 6.30 Bunny And The Bull (15) 4.00, 9.00
FRIDAY 11 In The Night Garden: Everybody all aboard the Ninky Nonk (U) 11.00am Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
SATURDAY 12 Clouzot's Inferno (12A) 1.30 Miracle On 34th Street (U) 11.00am (Kids’ Club) Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
SUNDAY 13 Clouzot's Inferno (12A) 1.30 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
MONDAY 14 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
WEDNESDAY 9 Bright Star (PG) 4.45 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 7.30
THURSDAY 10 Bright Star (PG) 4.45 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 2.00, 7.30
SATURDAY 12 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 10.15, 4.00, 7.00
SUNDAY 13 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 4.00, 7.00
MONDAY 14 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 4.30, 7.00 Miracle On 34th Street (U) 2.00
THURSDAY 10 2012 (12A) 1.10, 4.40, 8.00 The Box (12A) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 9.00 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 1.20, 6.20, 8.50 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 8.20 Nativity (TBC) 4.00 Paranormal Activity (15) 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00, 9.20 Planet 51 (U) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50, 9.10 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 11.40, 2.45, 5.30, 8.30
Films showing Friday 11–Monday 14
Films showing Friday 11–Monday 14
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
A Serious Man
032_LS453_comedy/gaylist
32
12/3/09
3:37 PM
Page 2
COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 8 December to Monday 14 December >
> Tuesday 8 December to Monday 14 December > TUESDAY 8 CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH Bring the Noise. Dare to share your own MP3 playlists and chill out with your own music. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Payday – Ice Queen's Ball. Xmas meets Narnia in this snow storm of chart remixes and floor fillers 10.30pm, £3/2 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
>
>
> >
>
>
WEDNESDAY 9 AMSTERDAM The Piano Bar. Mark Russell woos the crowds with his special blend of music. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Student Night. Can’t cook? Won’t cook? Drink and pizza promos for NUS all night! 6pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Speed Dating Evening. Meet your Mr/Mrs right now in a series of high-speed mini dates! 12pm, free R-BAR The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley, rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm–2am THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
>
COLLINGS AND HERRIN LIVE PODCAST
W
hen Richard Herring and Andrew Collins get together it’s pretty darn entertaining. Separately, they’re much-celebrated comedians; together they have an iTunes chart-topping podcast and almost sold out the Duke of York’s when they last visited Brighton to record one of these podcast thingys. Now they’re back for a new recording and Christmas party, featuring standup, prizes, ‘secret dancing’, an exclusive Q&A session and the promise of the chance to pick up the perfect Christmas gift. You’re certainly getting a fair amount of comedy bang for your buck. The Duke of York’s has a history of providing quality one-off events, so you can be sure this will be managed with the maximum of fun. You never know, there might even be a chance to get an inkling as to what might be on Richard Herring’s other podcast, ‘As It Occurs To Me’, this week. With Richard and Andrew’s ongoing bickering, it’s great to have the verbal sparring partners returning for Christmas. Plenty of ho, ho, ho here! Collings And Herrin Live Podcast, Duke Of York’s, Tuesday 8 December, 9pm, £15/10
TUESDAY 8 Collings & Herrin Live Podcast See above. Duke of York's, 9pm, £15/10
>
THURSDAY 10 Brian Gittens and Friends Brian Gittins, 42, is a roadside cafe owner from Pyecombe. Every month, Brian introduces two acts he's met on the circuit and somehow co-opted to perform. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6
>
Krater Christmas Krackers Stacked and packed with enough explosive gags to bring the house down, as well as a three-course dinner, these Christmas crackers offer so much more. Komedia, 6.30pm, £35/30
>
FRIDAY 11 Krater Christmas Krackers See Thursday. Komedia, 1pm & 6.30pm, £35/30
>
Krater Comedy Club Three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit. Featuring Michael Fabbri, Steve Gribbin, JJ Whitehead and more. MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £18.50
>
St Leonards Improv Comedy Club Paul F Taylor headlines, supported by Albion Grey, Rob Dumbrell, Sami Stone, Julian Deane, Dean Roberts and other support acts, plus local newcomers and their regular MC Anton Hammond. The Crown House, 8pm, £5/4
>
SATURDAY 12 International Stand-up Strap yourself in for a night of classic stand-up, with a sprinkling of the surreal. Featuring an internationally sourced lineup. Hosted by Richard Brophy. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 9.30pm, £8/6
>
Krater Christmas Krackers See Thursday. Komedia, 6.30pm, £35/30
>
Krater Comedy Club See Friday listings. Komedia, 7pm, £18.50
>
The Noise Next Door This energetic fivesome transform audience suggestions into ludicrous characters, barbed one liners and musical extravagance in the blink of an eye, with hilarious consequences. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6
>
SUNDAY 13 Krater Comedy Club See Friday listings. Komedia, 8pm, £12
>
MONDAY 14 The Dawsons' Christmas A comedy by Tony Haase and Roy Hutchins to entertain you in one of Brighton's best-loved venues. The Greys, 8.30pm, £8.50/7.50
>
PAYDAY Brrr its cold in here, there must be an Ice Queen in the atmosphere! And shes got one heck of a sub zero yuletide felicitation lined up for you. Snow elves, presents, reindeer, human stockings, creepy dolls and naughty Mrs Santas will be crammed like a flock of penguins in an igloo! Plus deck heroine Lady Bex will be on hand to provide the earplay with a host of trashy hits, camp classics and commercial tracks. The night comes gift-wrapped by fabulous host, Ms Billie Lewis, and 50 per cent of the entry fee is a charitable donation to THT. Tuesday 8 December, Revenge
>
>
>
>
>
THURSDAY 10 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS DJ Competition. Let the deckduelling commence as undiscovered DJ talent battle for your votes! 1pm, free LEGENDS Absolut Karaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top: Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
>
>
>
Comedy listings
>highlight
>
>
>
>
CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. The best bubblegum tunes, sweet camp pop & your favourite requests. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A (Queer & Alternative). Playing Indie, electro, soul, punk, and old school classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE X Factor Fridays. See the next evictee causing a royal Revenge ruckus! 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
>
> >
>
>
> > >
AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls Rock On. Spinning their own selection of music by the women we love! 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Lorna & Friends + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnight! 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Viva La Divas + Booty Call. Live music followed by dancefloor bangers from DJ Rascal. 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents... Miss Hap. 9.30pm, free
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
SUNDAY 13 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free CHARLES STREET BAR X Factor...The Vote Off! + Showtime. Watch the X Factor boot out followed by some outrageous cabaret 8pm, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Laquisha Jonz. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. With your host, Cat. 6pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free REVENGE Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. Relaxing acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by Miss Jason's barmy Bingo! 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
>
FRIDAY 11
>
SATURDAY 12
>
>
>
>
>
>
MONDAY 14 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
> >
> >
033_LS453_reviews
12/4/09
12:50 PM
Page 1
REVIEWS
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk
WAYNE MCGREGOR /RANDOM DANCE: ENTITY Seldom have I seen such extraordinarily intense dancing. There was a precision and athleticism but also a tenderness and humanity to the performances in this hour long work. So much so that I really wanted to love the whole work, but could not. And the reason is this, I simply did not warm to the score, or the set for that matter. There are moments when watching contemporary dance that I suspect that the music comes from a catalogue entitled Random Electronica for Modern Dance. Squeaks, drones, white noise... a movement using strings was I admit much more engaging but I would define it as predictable stuff. As was the video content, again the predictable flashing of images, random scrolling numbers and Mubridge’s running dog – yawn. Fortunately the dancers were sublime or I might have nodded off. So, as the song goes, dance: ten; looks: three. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 22 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
HISTORY BOY EDDIE IZZARD Brighton Centre, 30 November ✪✪✪✪✪
THE MOJO FINS
Alice Russell
33
The much acclaimed Mojo Fins definitely do look the part – cool with an anorak twist. Their lyrics are deep with a capital P (poetic and philosophical) and rhythms are intricate works of musical art. A tight set, melodic riffs and Keane-like vocals all made for a luscious sound that could well set itself apart in the world of pop rock. In support, the very cute The Beautiful Word set up the night with sublime lead vocals and tinkly xylophone beats, followed by the Bush-esque – Kate not George – Shona Foster. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 28 November ✪✪✪✪✪ Monica Perdoni
NEW ACT NIGHT With all of the excitement and atmosphere of a very first comedy prom, 13 budding comics who had completed the Jill Edwards Comedy Workshop put on a grand show. Mixing styles and material, there was great original thought from timid performers and personal funny stories relayed by others who’s only betrayal that they hadn’t spent more time on stage was the slightly shaking hand holding the mic. A very first gig for most of them, all having auditioned to get their spot, but with supporters all around it was enjoyed by all. You can be sure there were more big comedy names of the future in this batch, ready to join Jill Edwards’ other prestigious alumni. Komedia, 2 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
E
ddie Izzard is a very funny man. Unafraid to follow flights of fancy, he’s abstract of thought with a confidence that wherever it leads will entertain him and everyone else. His material is a joy to behold, coupling his experience as a street performer with branching off into mini dialogues from his view of history, and very funny mimes that at times disregard language almost completely. Demonstrating how the tone of a raptor can say a great many things, for instance. Mostly that it’s not to be trusted. Tackling the entire history of time is a grand ambition, conveying it in an entertaining and comedic fashion even more admirable – and Eddie pulls it off. He touched base with many fan favourites, including Mrs Crabapple, someone covered in bees and a section of the show in another language – this time Latin! – but these were tasters, not a reliance on older material, which other tours have been accused of recently. His ideas were fresh, starting with prehistory, gathering an entourage of characters from his travels through time and theology. Expressing an atheism that doesn’t disrespect believers, Izzard has always been a great discusser of ideas, mining the Bible stories with liberal sprinklings of his limited impressionist skills stopping at James Mason and Sean Connery. Connery again made an appearance in this show. Other newer, more memorable characters included
the freaked out squirrel survivor of Noah’s Ark and the aforementioned shifty raptor. Eddie was great fun, even drifting off into a successful improvised passage contemplating the interaction between moles and voles. But he did seem somewhat frustrated by the Brighton audience. The difficulty with arena comedy is that the laughs can drift into the roof and not be heard by the performer, which seemed to be the case in parts here. He also rarely ventured far from the centre of the stage, not utilising its vastness, which seemed odd since he has toured other arenas with this show. It was a great show though, the like of which is truly rare and wonderful. Victoria Nangle
ALICE RUSSELL It’s live on stage where the personality and natural funkiness of this Brighton resident and burgeoning soul diva shines through. Made up of well known Brighton musicians, her group’s easy going demeanour belied an almost supernatural tightness and well-thought out stage show that had the crowd engrossed, whether dancing or not. This was good-time music – not too demanding, but utterly amenable – that included a cover of ‘Crazy’. Only the slightly weak sound system let them down, but all-in-all this was a superlative performance from ‘Little Poppet’. Komedia, 25 November ✪✪✪✪✪ Jeff Hemmings
RYUICHI SAKAMOTO Composer and performer Sakamoto played a set of compact and precise music that was fascinating and compelling. His gentle lyrical tunes, played on twinned pianos, have an easy charm but there is an underlying complexity to his work that held the audience’s attention for the most part. He seldom looked at us, though, and we had to make do with watching a stylish and expertly presented visual presentation that Ryuichi Sakamoto
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
ran throughout on a massive screen. So is he a composer of pop or classical music? I’m not sure that I care about any qualification; this was a very enjoyable evening in the company of one of Japan’s greatest exports and, yes, he did treat us in an encore to the theme from Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 27 November ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
034_LS453_Sports/TV_Column
34
12/2/09
4:04 PM
Page 2
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
L7 TV
8–14 DECEMBER
Off The Pitch Adam Virgo on Thierry Henry’s infamous handball
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
Telly Talk With Victoria Nangle
A
fter one of the most controversial weeks in sport and in football since Diego Maradona’s handball in 1986, my topic this month could only be about cheating. Of course, I am talking about Thierry Henry’s handball against Ireland during the second leg playoff for the World Cup 2010. I see cheating happening in sport every year. I have had in-depth conversations with my personal tailor Mark Jenkins (who himself played to a high standard of rugby in his day, prior to darning silk!) about the ‘blood gate’ scandal in rugby a couple of months ago. This resulted in a Harlequin player being forced by his own manager Dean Richards (who by the way is an ex rugby international, widely respected in the game) to cheat to use up time to win a very important match. Even the greatest sportsman, Mohamed Ali has cheated in a bout against Sir Henry Cooper for the World Heavyweight Championship. Ali was knocked to the floor by a left hook, taken to his corner, and purposely had his gloves cut, thus requiring the referee to deem them unsuitable and in need of replacement. This time wasting tactic worked in Ali’s favour, enabling him some essential time to compose himself and regain full consciousness. After this, Ali went on to win the belt and remain heavyweight champion; some reported that this cheating tactic was the downfall for Sir Henry Cooper!
“Being called a cheat in sport is the biggest insult you can receive” When I talk about cheating I am not talking about performance enhancing drugs to gain fitness and speed, I’m referring to the instinctive reaction that is present in some sportsmen. What’s interesting is that cheating has been apparent at the highest levels, in a multitude of sports, carried out in front of thousands of people; boxing, rugby and more recently football. I personally feel being called a cheat in sport is the biggest insult you can receive – not only do you lose the respect of your fellow team mates and opposition but, more importantly, you lose the respect of the game. When you look at the incident of Thierry Henry’s handball, a lot of things come into play: firstly, we saw it was an obvious handball; the referee has admitted since watching a replay that he would have given a free kick but, at the time, he was not at the right angle to draw that conclusion. This opens up the hot topic of the importance of video replay at top level football, which currently stands as a potential major turnaround in football. You need to ask yourself: if you were Thierry Henry and had used your hand to help set up a winning goal, would you walk up to the referee, knowing you were playing and representing your country in front of at least eighty thousand fellow countrymen, and say “yes, I handballed it and the goal should not stand”, then face the controversial repercussions from your home country fan base? Or, would you celebrate with your team mates, knowing you have got away with cheating (albeit mistakenly and not maliciously but still illegal) knowing you had taken your country through to the World Cup finals with your winning goal? You decide! I know what I would have done. Adam Virgo is Captain of Brighton and Hove Albion FC and his foundation raises funds for three charities. Adam is also HEART UK’s Sussex Ambassador for Team Red Laces.
Would you have acted like Thierry? comment@thelatest.co.uk
It’s a hard knock soap life Home & Away and Neighbours, Five, Monday – Friday
I
t’s a myth that city living is more dangerous than a country existence. So say I, and anyone challenging can just take a look at our Aussie soaps for proof. Neighbours has a bright sunny yellow hue to it, and the biggest to-do is Lynn’s new job as a gossipmonger on the local rag. Will she really tattle on Libby’s marriage woes? Could she really burn bridges with the community she’s come back to? Alternatively, there’s an autumn orange hue and the people-trafficking story over on Home & Away. Teatime soap plots gone awry here people! Everyone can chart their teenage years by Neighbours and Home & Away plots. Remember Scott and Charlene’s wedding? How about when Harold was swept out to sea? Added kudos for actually knowing who Guy Pierce played in Neighbours and what Russell Crowe looked like in Home & Away. It was a rite of passage and all seemed pretty harmless. Neighbours is still there in the harmless post-school/college position, sticking to storylines that could be risqué (like teenage pregnancies) but having them happen in the most responsible
way possible with everyone learning and growing over time. Got a spat with a neighbour? Give them a bit of space and in a couple of weeks you’ll be having a joint barbie to celebrate what great friends you are. And Home & Away? It doesn’t seem to matter what Hugo does, Angelo reckons he’s done it wrong and is out to catch him wronging it up. Just one of those things. Not likely to change. Unless one of them goes on the rampage and the other sits back telling everyone they were right from the corner of Alf’s bar. But that’s not happening right now. It’s just people not getting on. Maybe they need a bit more of a yellow hue to their lives. There has been some tragedy in Erinsborough lately with a bit of death and fraud, but we sort of knew they’d get through it. There’ll be no going on the run for years with a baby for these light-coloured lightweights. Hear that, Kirsty? Yup, not only was Home & Away’s Kirsty on the run with her wanted outlaw hubby, now she’s actually in a lovely relationship (with a fella who lost his previous family and had a breakdown, only to recover slowly but effectively); now she’s been struck down with a mystery illness threatening both her life and her unborn baby’s. Will she make it? Will the baby? It’s anybody’s guess. But at least if she lived on Ramsay Street you can bet she’d get a break sometime.
035_LS453_TV_Tues
12/3/09
2:13 PM
Page 1
tuesday 8 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas Channel 4, 8pm If you’re feeling a bit brassic you’re probably already working out how many presents you can make with your own fair hands and what level of quality you can get away with. Gran? She’ll love a hand-knitted scarf. Little sis? Not so much. Kirstie helps with cards, ornaments and so much more.
Can Gerry Robinson Fix Dementia Care Homes? BBC2, 9pm Here’s an idea: why not get people who have proven their success in business, rather than people who have proven themselves in politics, to take a look at some of the country’s enduring problems? Just a thought. Here Sir Gerry Robinson tries to turn around three struggling care homes.
Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? BBC3, 9pm Alesha is a pop star and reality dance success. An obvious choice, then, to front a serious documentary about paternity searches. Here she talks to affected children and experts about emotional and practical implications. She even helps find one child’s absent dad. Obvious.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Pedro And Frankensheep 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Wait For It..! 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open House 1.30 Snooker: UK Championship 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 Wife Swap 1.40 FILM: Carry On Behind (1975) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 - 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Little Lodgers 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Nice House, Shame About The Garden: Revisited 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Time To Say Goodbye? (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Will Whitney be strong enough to face the court? 8.00 Holby City When Joseph suggests Lauren is responsible for Archie’s death, he is accused of bullying. But Lauren now realises she could have made a mistake. Will we get a flashback to know for sure? Or maybe just a guess and a prayer. 9.00 Paradox Drama series. A serial rapist is due to violently attack and murder in a few hours, and Rebecca is determined not to let this happen. Shows she’s in the right line of work – crime prevention an’ all that. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... The American singer-songwriter Joan Baez talks, more candidly then ever, about her personal life and a career spanning 50 years. Political ally to Martin Luther King, lover to Bob Dylan, Baez used her unique voice to get her message of peace and racial equality heard around the world. 11.30 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Film news and reviews. 12.00am The Graham Norton Show 12.45 Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.20 Natural World 2.10 Jimmy’s Food Factory 2.40 Bang Goes The Theory – The Human Power Station 3.40 BBC News
6.00 Celebrity Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a celebrity special of the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. Get your shades ready for the sequin gleam. It can blind a man at 15 paces. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship By the end of the evening, the quarter final line-up will be complete. Surprisingly tense viewing. 8.00 A History Of Scotland Through the winning and losing of an American empire and the impact of the Scottish Enlightenment, Neil Oliver reveals how in the second half of the 18th century Scotland was transformed from having a bad international image to true success. 9.00 Can Gerry Robinson Fix Dementia Care Homes? See highlights. 10.00 Miranda Sitcom. Repeat of Monday’s episode. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights Rishi Persad introduces highlights from the concluding sessions of the second round. 12.10am Snooker: UK Championship – Extra 2.10 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley’s trip to see Laurel does not go to plan. Charity realises that she will have to work harder to regain Debbie’s trust. 7.30 Grimefighters Following work of clean-up teams around the UK. 8.00 Coastline Cops Cameras follow the men and women who look after the 10,500 miles of Britain’s coastline. Tucking it up tight at night, reading bedtime stories, the works. 9.00 Robson Green’s Wild Swimming Adventure Two-part programme in which actor Robson Green embraces the pursuit of outdoor swimming, visiting the country’s lidos, lakes, rivers and seas and meeting some fellow-bathers along the way. In the first programme, Robson returns to the freezing Tyne, in which he swam as a child. Blimmin’ freezin’, man! 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Christmas Tales: The Story Of The Tree Three-part series in which Fiona Phillips examines the phenomenon of festive icons. In the first programme, she looks at the long and fascinating history of the Christmas tree. 11.35 In Plain Sight Drama. 12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.20 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mike feels guilty about kissing Zoe, while Lydia tries to turn Amy against Zoe. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas See highlights. 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Two brilliant Spanish restaurants, El Gato Negro from Yorkshire and Lola Rojo from London, go head-to-head. Gordon also travels to Spain to hunt for an extraordinary delicacy – goose barnacles. 10.00 Russell Brand: Skinned Intimate and revealing documentary combining behind-the-scenes footage and stand-up performance as Russell Brand completes his wildly successful international ‘Scandalous’ tour. 11.05 Cast Offs Darkly comic series about six disabled people who are sent to a remote British island for a fictional reality series. Will discovers that it’s secretive April’s birthday. He tries to set up a birthday surprise for her, but starts to discover more and more startling details about her private life. 12.05am Bullrun 2009 12.40 Powers Of Three 1.25 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 2.25 Gillette World Sport 2.50 Volvo Ocean Race 3.45 King Of The Hill 4.10 Switched 4.35 Beauty And The Geek 5.20 St Elsewhere
6.00 Home And Away A familiar face returns to Summer Bay. Hugo and Martha argue over Bambang. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Sea Patrol UK Documentary. A coastguard rescue crew comes to the aid of a fallen climber, a trawler boarding stirs up a serious investigation for the Fisheries Protection Squadron and two chemical tankers get too close for comfort. What is a comfortable distance for chemical tankers? 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series. The CSIs investigate when a man is dissolved in a swimming pool. Elsewhere, Tara faces the music over her drug addiction and Julia hits rock bottom. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The CSIs investigate the murder of a Greek national during a student theatre production. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Dama. A man accused of murdering his wife and co-workers leads the CSIs through a busy casino. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 Europa League Football 3.50 Europa League Football 4.40 Boxing Classic 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 SPL Round-Up 10.00 Football League: Championship 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm Netbusters 1.00 SPL RoundUp 1.30 Football League: Championship 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 Netbusters 4.30 NFL – America’s Game 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Hyundai A League 11.00 NFL - America’s Game 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Champions League Goals 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Football Asia
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 IRB Sevens 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00pm Water Skiing 2.00 IRB Sevens 5.00 Test Cricket 7.00 LIVE: Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.30am Athletics 7.00 Water Skiing 8.00 British Rally Championship 9.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 1.00 British Rally Championship 2.00 Powder Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 World Matchplay Bowls 12.00am World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Fringe 10.00 House 11.00 Lie To Me 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.50 Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 Mad About The House 9.00 Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Get Screwed 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? 12.45am Mad About The House 1.45 The Noughties ... Was That It?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Dusty Bluebells 8.00 Life 9.00 Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play 10.00 We Need Answers 10.30 Bennett On Bennett 10.40 A Woman Of No Importance 11.30 ... Sings The Beatles 12.30am Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Totally You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 I’m A Celebrity Unforgettable Trials 10.00 FILM: Total Recall (1990) 12.20am I’m A Celebrity Unforgettable Trials
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 On The Buses 2.40 Rising Damp 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Ransom For A Dead Man (1971) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford 12.15am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Going Wrong
2.05pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Samantha Who? 11.30 Beehive 12.00am My Name Is Earl 12.30 Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue 10.00 True Stories: The Solitary Life Of Cranes 10.40 True Stories: The Bridge 12.40am Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue
11.00am Long Day’s Journey Into Night (1962) 2.15pm Monte Carlo Or Bust (1969) 4.45 The Way Ahead (1944) 7.00 The First Wives Club (1996) 9.00 Office Space (1999) 10.45 Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) 1.00am Mischief Night (2006)
036_LS453_TV_Wed
12/3/09
2:14 PM
Page 1
wednesday 9 Spooks BBC1, 9pm Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a spin-off of this about all the agents that died over the past few series? Call it Spooky Spooks. There’d be a great cast and they’d all be trying to pass on info to the alive Spooks from beyond the grave. No? We’ll just have to make do with them saving the country’s economy, then.
The Family Channel 4, 9pm This eight-part observational series has proved just as compelling as last year’s – perhaps more so. There’s drama a-plenty as the family finds a rat in the kitchen (UB40 were unavailable for comment), and with Kaki’s baby due in eight weeks, Jeet is thinking twice about his scheduled trip away.
Noel’s Christmas Presents Sky 1, 10pm Get your jingle bells jangling and your Christmas tree ready to rock around as Noel Edmonds looks back at the best bits of his 2007 and 2008 shows. He also catches up with some of the people he has surprised over the years – in a good way – and reveals some more Christmas surprises. Must be a hoot trying to plan with him.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Pedro And Frankensheep 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Mona The Vampire 7.15 Mona The Vampire 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8.00 Wait For It..! 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 See Hear 11.30 Pre-Budget Report 2.30pm Snooker: UK Championship 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Celebrity Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a celebrity special of the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two There’s a peek into the training rooms to find out how the couples are shaping up for the next show. Any more injuries about? 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship The first two quarter-finals reach a conclusion, with a maximum of nine frames to decide who progresses to the last four. Sounds like complicated maths homework. Hmph. 8.00 Top Gear Repeat of Sunday’s show. 9.00 Horizon: How Many People Can Live On Planet Earth? In a Horizon special, naturalist Sir David Attenborough investigates whether the world faces a population crisis. He reflects on the impact of a doubling in world population during his career. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Presiding over team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding is host Frankie Boyle. Also featuring Reverend and Richard Herring. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights The first two semi final places are decided in the £625,000 UK Championship. 12.10am Being Alan Bennett 1.10 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Small Railway Journeys 12.50 Wife Swap 1.45 FILM: Paths Of Glory (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Little Lodgers 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Nice House, Shame About The Garden: Revisited 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Wishing Well (2009) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sally’s presence forces Doug out of the vicarage. Holly is put out by Aaron’s apparent disinterest. Sam struggles to stop the Dingles finding Olena. They are a hefty bunch to stop, them Dingles. T’will be a struggle indeed. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Olympiacos V Arsenal The classy win over Standard Liege secured qualification for Arsenal as group winners, so in their final group game some of the Gunners youngsters may be given the chance to show off their considerable skills away at Olympiacos. Steve Rider presents action from the Georgios Karaiskakis stadium in Greece, with commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Highlights of all tonight’s vital Champions League action as the group stage draws to a close. Featuring the goals from all 16 games played across Europe, including Liverpool’s tie at Anfield against Italian club Fiorentina. Presented by Jim Rosenthal with Robbie Earle and Gabriele Marcotti. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.55 Loose Women 1.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 So You Think You’re Insured?: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Anita, Theresa, Duncan and Ricky gatecrash the Christmas party in the student halls. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas Series in which Kirstie Allsopp shares her tips for a magical hand-crafted Christmas. Kirstie prepares presents for her family and friends, enlisting the help of some of the UK’s most talented crafts people to prove that a visit to the high street can be avoided when looking for stocking-fillers. Hope ours turn out like hers. Fingers crossed. 9.00 The Family See highlights. 10.00 True Blood Fantasy drama. Sam tells Sookie that he can shapeshift. The Inquisitor of the tribunal decides on a harsh punishment for Bill. Tara tries to exorcise her demon, while Jason and Amy worry about Eddie. And it looked like such a sleepy town when we first arrived. 11.10 Cast Offs Darkly comic series about six disabled people who are sent to a remote British island for a fictional reality series. A surprise guest on the island shakes things up. 12.10am 4 Music: 360 Sessions 12.45 4Play: The Temper Trap 12.55 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 2.55 The Dead Zone 3.40 King Of The Hill 4.10 The Invasion 4.25 St Elsewhere (x2)
6.00 Home And Away Romeo and Xavier plan a party. Jelly and ice-cream all round! 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Britain’s Best Brain Quiz show with Zoe Ball and Jamie Theakston. A maths student, a police sergeant, an information officer, an area cleaning manager and an environmental consultant battle it out for the last spot in the grand final. 9.00 FILM: Erin Brockovich (2000) Starring Julia Roberts, Albert Finney, Aaron Eckhart, Marg Helgenberger. Fact-based drama about a single mother who stumbles upon a plot to cover up an environmental accident. While working for a lawyer, she is puzzled by an old case and decides to do some research of her own. Because all single mothers have time for that. Apparently so. 11.40 The Sexy Ads Show Comedian Spencer Brown presents some of the sexiest, weirdest and most shocking commercials ever to be shown on television. 12.10am PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.35 SuperCasino 3.00 Europa League Football 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Revista De La Liga 10.55 Football Asia 11.25 Hyundai A League 11.55 LIVE International Cricket 3.00pm Revista De La Liga 4.00 Champions League Goals 5.00 Hyundai A League 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Golf 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 You’re On Sky Sports 2.45 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.15 Champions League Goals 4.15 European Tour Weekly 4.45 Trans World Sport 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Big Top Comedy series set in and around a travelling circus. Lizzie’s star performer, Milo the Skydiver, has been injured, and she has no time to find a replacement. Her options are limited to a suicidal man, a Chinese hypnotist and a reluctant West Highland terrier. Really?! 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama. Quiet Year 10 pupil Cassie Turner claims she is being bullied, and Kim fears the girl gangs are back in full force. However, the truth is something altogether different. 9.00 Spooks Drama series. See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws. 10.45 Hot Planet Professors Iain Stewart and Kathy Sykes take a timely look at global warming ahead of the Copenhagen summit, in this film which explores the world’s leading climate scientists’ vision of our planet’s future. 11.45 BlackJack Australian crime drama about a detective consigned to re-investigating old cases. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.20 Country Tracks 3.15 James May’s Toy Stories 4.15 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Hyundai A League 8.30 Football Asia 9.00 World Matchplay Bowls 11.00 Powder Adventures 11.30 Davis Cup Final Tennis 12.30pm Aerobics: Oz Style 1.00 Champions League Goals 2.00 World Cup Of Pool 3.00 Davis Cup Final Tennis 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 Champions League Pre-Game Show 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Watersports World 12.00am Cricket: Twenty20 International 3.00 Golf: Ladies European Tour
Sky Sports 3 10.00am European Tour Golf 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Powerboat P1 Championship 7.00 Cricket: Twenty20 International 10.00 Kickboxing 11.30 Tenpin Bowling 12.30am Max Power 1.30 Kickboxing Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway (x2) 10.00 Noel’s Christmas Presents Update. See highlights. 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 Mad About The House 9.00 Young Chef Of The Year 10.00 Don’t Get Screwed 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 Spooks 12.15am Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? 1.15 The Noughties ... Was That It? 2.15 Don’t Get Screwed 2.45 The Real Hustle: High Stakes
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Versailles Stories 8.00 Russia: A Journey With Jonathan Dimbleby 9.00 The Art Of Russia 10.00 Bennett On Bennett 10.10 Talking Heads 10.45 We Need Answers 11.15 Wallander 12.40am Mark Lawson Talks To Alan Bennett 1.40 We Need Answers
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 7.30 Grimefighters 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 I’m A Celebrity Jungle Gems 10.00 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 12.20am I’m A Celebrity - Jungle Gems
1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 On The Buses 2.40 Rising Damp 3.15 Columbo: Uneasy Lies The Crown 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Inspector Wexford: Road Rage 11.20 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Going Wrong 12.25am FILM: Death In Brunswick (1990)
2.05pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: There’s Something About Mary (1998) 11.20 Misfits 12.25am My Name Is Earl 12.50 Scrubs (x2) 1.50 Dark Angel (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Catastrophe (x2) 12.10am Time Team 1.10 Catastrophe (x2) 3.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away
11.00am Highly Dangerous (1950) 12.45pm Lost (1955) 2.30 Warlock (1959) 4.55 Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) 6.50 Bogus (1996) 9.00 Blade: Trinity (2004) 11.10 Far North (2007) 12.55am The New World (2005)
037_LS453_TV_Thurs
12/3/09
2:14 PM
Page 1
thursday 10 Kidnapped By The Kids Channel 4, 9pm It’s a common problem – parents working so hard to bring home the best they can for the family that they never get to see said family grow up. Time for a family rebellion! This documentary follows two kids as they grab their workaholic dad and drop him in the Welsh wilderness in a bid to bond. Bond, dad! Go on!
QI BBC1, 9.30pm It may feel as familiar as yer granny’s favourite chair that you like to nick when she’s up getting herself a cuppa, bit this is still as sharp and fresh as ever, despite being on its seventh series. Tonight Stephen Fry and Alan Davies are joined in their quiz show by Liza Tarbuck, Phill Jupitus and Sean Lock.
Misfits E4, 10pm These super-powered ASBO kids are getting more and more interesting – like a Breakfast Club for superheroes – as we look behind the cliché and get to know them better every week. Sally’s set on proving the gang are connected to Tony’s disappearance and focuses on poor lonely Simon to try and break the truth. Yikes!
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Pedro And Frankensheep 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 The Secret Show 8.15 The Secret Show 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open House 1.30 Snooker: UK Championship 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Celebrity Eggheads A celebrity special of the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship With two semi-final places still up for grabs, there’s everything to play for as the remaining quarter-final matches reach a conclusion. 8.00 The Restaurant It is the semifinals, and Raymond Blanc heaps on the pressure in order to choose two couples to compete in the final. 9.00 Natural World In deepest Borneo, a young Frenchman called Chanee is combining his love of music and his passion for gibbons. These magical singing apes of the rainforest are in danger of extinction and to help save them, Chanee has set up a rescue centre, and his own radio station. All true. 9.50 Wonderland: The Alzheimer’s Choir Documentary film about love, time and the ability of music to return people who were thought lost. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the day’s quarter-final matches at the UK Championship. 12.10am Horizon: How Many People Can Live On Planet Earth? 1.10 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Wife Swap 1.25 FILM: The African Queen (1951) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Little Lodgers 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Nice House, Shame About The Garden: Revisited 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Undercover Angel (1998) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A near miss leaves Adam stunned by Aaron’s shocking behaviour. Playing with the electrics again. Geddit? Soz. 7.30 River Monsters Extreme angler Jeremy Wade heads to Texas on the trail of a river monster said to be as vicious as a shark and as big as an alligator. Sounds like a new script from a company sounding like Bisney. 8.00 Emmerdale Charity is determined to prove to Debbie that she has changed. Clothes maybe. 8.30 Coronation Street Dev gets the shock of his life at the golf course. Sally is excited by the Christmas preparations. Sparkly things. Oooh! 9.00 The Bill DC Grace Dasari reopens the investigation into an old missing person case when the sister of the woman involved holds a man at knife-point in a brothel, claiming he knows where her sister is. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain The final part. Today Martin heads for the playground isles of the south, where he swims with seals and visits the island family who lost Putney in a game of cards. He he. 11.35 October Road American drama about a writer. 12.30am Motorsport UK 1.20 The Cosby Mysteries 2.10 Loose Women 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks After collapsing at the party, Anita is touched to find Dave waiting for her at hospital. One way to find out if her cares. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas Kirstie Allsopp shares her tips for a magical hand-crafted Christmas. Kirstie prepares for her festive party with the help of writer Amy Willcock. Chocolatier Marc Demarquette also gives Kirstie some pointers on how to make perfect chocolate truffles. Oooh... want! 9.00 Kidnapped By The Kids See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan’s guests include Miley Cyrus, popular comedian Michael McIntyre and Radio 2 breakfast DJ Chris Evans. 10.50 Without A Trace Drama. The team attempts to locate a missing truck driver who had become a hero after saving a young boy from being run over. Bless his smelly socks. 11.50 FILM: William Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet (1996) Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes, Brian Dennehy, Pete Postlethwaite, Paul Sorvino and John Leguizamo. You know the story. 2.05am FILM: The Final Curtain (2002) 3.30 The Dead Zone 4.00 Dispatches: Christmas On Credit 5.15 St Elsewhere
6.00 Home And Away Aden and Nicole have an argument. Miles discovers that Kirsty has left him. Was her absense the hint? 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Building The Ultimate This edition looks at how 50 years of research, experimentation and some tragic accidents have led to today’s safe, efficient passenger jets. 8.00 Casino: The True Story Historical documentary exploring the events that inspired the Martin Scorsese movie Casino. The 1995 film was based on the true story of a mafia subordinate and a murderous enforcer who ruled Las Vegas for the Chicago mob. Were they as pretty as the film suggests, though? 9.00 FILM: Striking Distance (1993) Starring Bruce Willis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dennis Farina, Tom Sizemore. Fast-moving thriller about a cop hunting for his father’s murderer. The former detective, now demoted to river duty, is convinced that his father was the victim of a serial killer. He sets out to prove that the culprit is another policeman, but his obsessive hunt puts him at odds with his partner. He’s a renegade, alright. 11.05 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.00 2009 Summer X Games 4.45 House Busters 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Alfred Dunhill Championship 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Champions League Goals 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Powerboating 1.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Alfred Dunhill Championship 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Champions League Goals 5.00 NFL – America’s Game 6.00 Soccerex 2009 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE European Rugby: Challenge Cup 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Soccerex 2009 12.00am NFL – America’s Game
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Tony’s trial descends into chaos. Bradley makes a huge admission to Stacey, and Max’s world begins to crumble. It’s an apple world. Yum. 8.00 DIY SOS The Big Build 1.6 million children in Britain today live in bad housing. In this DIY SOS special Nick Knowles and the team attempt to re-house a Dad and four children who have spent four years stuck in a caravan in the garden of their one bed house. 9.00 Gavin And Stacey Pam and Mick are having second thoughts about the conservatory, whilst Bryn is in his element as he awaits the arrival of his houseguests – all the Essex boys down for a big night out in Cardiff – and having a sleep over at his! Get in! 9.30 QI See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time comes from the iconic town of Wootton Bassett. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Life 1.55 Countryfile 2.50 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness 3.50 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Summer Speed Motor Sport – Formula Junior Historic Racing 11.00 Kickboxing 12.30pm Champions League Goals 1.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Varsity Match - Oxford V Cambridge 4.00 Powerboating 4.30 Kickboxing 6.00 Rugby Union: Varsity Match – Oxford V Cambridge 7.00 The Dogs 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 LIVE Poker: Bounty Hunter 10k 12.00am Rugby Union: Varsity Match – Oxford V Cambridge
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Powerboating 8.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.00 Tenpin Bowling 10.00 Powerboat P1 Championship 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Powerboat P1 Championship 2.30 Powerboating 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 WWE Special 7.00 Powerboating 7.30 LIVE Netball: Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Naked Britain (x2) 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.25 Ross Kemp On Gangs
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 Stuart: The Day My Life Changed 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Return To Pembrokeshire Farm 8.00 Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play 9.00 A History Of Christianity 10.00 Bennett On Bennett 10.10 Talking Heads 2 10.50 Our Winnie 11.35 The Thick Of It 12.05am A History Of Christianity
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x3) 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 Totally You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 I’m A Celebrity - Jungle Kings And Queens 10.00 FILM: Miami Vice (2006) 12.40am Coronation Street 1.10 I’m A Celebrity - Jungle Kings And Queens
5.10pm Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Inspector Wexford: Road Rage 10.40 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Fallen Curtain 11.45 Wycliffe 12.55am FILM: The Browning Version (1994)
12.10pm Heartland 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Misfits. See highlights. 11.00 Rude Tube (x2) 12.05am My Name Is Earl 12.35 Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Hung 10.40 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.20 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.20am Embarrassing Bodies
11.00am Castle In The Sky (1986) 1.35pm The Vicious Circle (1957) 3.15 Guest Wife (1945) 5.00 High Anxiety (1977) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 Assault On Precinct 13 (2005) 11.05 The Serpent (2006) 1.25am Deathwatch (2002)
038_LS453_TV_Fri
12/3/09
2:15 PM
Page 1
friday 11 Mister Eleven ITV1, 9pm First in a two-part romantic comedy of the eccentric Bridget Jones ilk. Saz Paley’s love life is ruled by her absolute confidence in numbers and statistics, which is why she’s sure she’s marrying the right man. Statistically, ladies marry their eleventh sexual partner, and he’s hers. ‘Til number nine turns up and scuppers things.
Live At The Apollo BBC1, 9.30pm The nights are drawing in and by golly it’s getting chilly! Time to warm up with some good old ‘ho ho ho’ laughter that’s got nothing to do with a large bearded man with a penchant for red and white clothing. Rob Bryson hosts the comedy, with special guests Sarah Millican and Jason Byrne filling in with more funnies.
Eddie Izzard: Dress To Kill More4, 11.15pm In case you missed out on tickets to the Brighton Centre shows Eddie Izzard played last week, here’s your chance to enjoy some of the magic funny man’s best material from the comfort of your very own settee. Filmed in San Francisco and covering everything from the history of Western culture to Jihad. Class.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Pedro And Frankensheep 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 The Secret Show 8.15 The Secret Show 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open House 1.30 Snooker: UK Championship 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Back To You 1.00 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders What will Tanya do when confronted with more of Max’s deceit? Whitney is finally forced to face what Tony did to her. Poor mite. 8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted quiz. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Dominic West and panellists James May and Reginald D Hunter. 9.30 Live At The Apollo See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan is joined by Formula One World Champion Jenson Button, Sir Terry Wogan and tennis legend Andre Agassi. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.45 FILM: Perfect Creature (2005) Starring Dougray Scott, Saffron Burrows. In a world not unlike our own, vampires and humans lived in harmony for centuries, until one was born who would threaten the peace and change the world. Dum dum DUM! 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: My Supermodel Baby 2.05 Black Widow Granny? 3.00 School Of Saatchi 4.00 BBC News
6.00 Celebrity Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a celebrity special of the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia breaks into the Strictly rehearsals and the Friday Panel looks forward to the weekend. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship Live coverage of the first semi-final. 8.00 We Are Family The Woolryches are an old English family with traditional old English attitudes. In this moving film, four generations of the Woolryches gather for a reunion which they hope can resolve some of their long-standing differences and bring the family closer together. Ahh. 9.00 Victorian Farm Christmas Reality programme. The Victorian farmers – Ruth Goodman, Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn – return to the Acton Scott estate in Shropshire to celebrate a traditional Christmas. 10.00 Beautiful People The Doonans go deep into Brit Art when they meet rabble rouser Stacey Bile. This leads to several road accidents, imminent birth, blind ladies driving cars and the Turner Prize. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round-table arts discussion series. 11.35 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights Rishi Persad introduces highlights from the day’s semi-final. 12.25am Medium (x2) 1.50 FILM: The Whisperers (1966)
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron’s denial leaves Adam confused. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony’s correspondence tempts Carla to seek closure. Closure on his boyfriend-killing ass, that is! 8.00 Christmas For A Pound: Tonight Raef Bjayou investigates the rise of the pound store and meets thrifty families hoping to buy cheaply for Christmas, testing their wares to see if the lower price tag equates to a bargain or if it is a false economy. 8.30 Coronation Street Carla is stunned by a repentant Tony’s revelation. Dev makes things worse between him and Sunita. Ken’s cold war against Peter turns more of the family against him. 9.00 Mister Eleven See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Island (2005) Starring Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi. Futuristic thriller about a seemingly utopian containment facility in the mid-21st century. The residents hope to be chosen to go to the Island – the last uncontaminated place on Earth. Problem with Utopia, someone’s always out to spoil it. 1.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.00 FILM: Door To Door (1984) 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ricky accuses Dave of spiking Anita’s drink. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 The Boy Who Was Born A Girl Filmmaker Julia Moon follows teenager Jon and his mother Luisa through life-changing treatment to complete his gender realignment. 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Jamie At Home Jamie rustles up the perfect barbecue. 8.30 Jamie At Home Jamie looks at winter vegetables, exploring what his garden has offered. 9.00 David Blaine: Magic Man David Blaine takes to the streets of the USA to perform magic tricks. 10.00 Comedy Showcase: Guantanamo Phil Phil Mill from Stoke was enjoying a bird-watching holiday until his arrest by US Marines on suspicion of being a terrorist. Now he’s free and Britain has changed. 10.30 The IT Crowd Sitcom. Jen introduces Roy and Moss to a new social networking website. 11.05 True Blood Repeat. 12.15am 4 Music: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions: Mr Hudson 12.30 Mencap’s Little Noise Sessions 2009 12.55 FILM: Bad News Bears (2005) 2.55 3 Minute Wonder 3.00 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.45 Freesports On 4 4.15 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 5.05 St Elsewhere 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Mio Mao 9.00 Little Lodgers 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 House Doctor 1.15 Cooking The Books Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Two Mothers For Zachary (1996) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Geoff’s concern for Ruby causes problems. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 The What In The World? Quiz Marcus Brigstocke presents the comedy panel show with Lee Hurst and Dominic Holland. 8.00 Axe Men Documentary series following the work of loggers in the Pacific Northwest. James can take no more of his father’s insults and storms off the job. That’ll make him treat you like a grown up. Sure. 9.00 NCIS Drama series following the US Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The team is called in when a marine’s wife is murdered live on the internet. Should be some clues there. 10.00 Law & Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York that investigates sex-related crimes. An escaped paedophile kidnaps his accuser and takes Detective Benson hostage. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York. Benson and Stabler discover that the death of a college student was directly linked to crimes he committed as the pledgemaster of his fraternity. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Big Ideas That Changed The World 4.40 HouseBusters 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 Barclays Premier League World 8.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Alfred Dunhill Championship 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 WWE Special 12.00pm Barclays Premier League World 12.30 Soccerex 2009 1.00 Wild Spirits 1.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Alfred Dunhill Championship 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Gillette World Sport 12.00am Football League Weekend 1.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Football League Weekend
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 Rugby Union: Varsity Match - Oxford V Cambridge 11.00 Rugby Union: European Challenge Cup 2.00pm The Dogs 2.30 Netball: Super League 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 NFL 7.30 LIVE European Cup Rugby 10.00 Football League Weekend 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Tight Lines 1.00 European Cup Rugby 3.30 NFL – Total Access 4.30 Trans World Sport
Sky Sports 3 9.00am Barclays Premier League World 9.30 Soccerex 2009 10.00 The Dogs 10.30 Spirit Of Yachting VIII: Voiles De St Tropez 11.00 Race World 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL 1.30 Soccerex 2009 2.00 WWE Special 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 Race World 6.00 Trans World Sport 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 WWE Special Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE: Superstars 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Angela And Friends: Our Best Bits 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: The Wrestler 10.00 FILM: Bad Boys (1995) 12.15am Road Wars 1.15 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.10 Road Wars
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Merlin 8.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 9.00 Spooks 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.15 Little Britain USA (x2) 2.10 Mouth To Mouth (x2) 3.10 Don’t Tell The Bride 4.10 Russell Howard’s Good News
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 For Art’s Sake - The Story Of Ballet Russes 9.00 The Firebird With The Royal Ballet 10.00 Gimme Shelter 11.35 We Need Answers 12.05am Only Connect 12.35 The Beatles On Record 1.35 How The Beatles Rocked The Kremlin: Storyville
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 The Hot Desk 5.30 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Last Samurai (2003) 12.00am FILM: Passenger 57 (1993) 1.35 Coronation Street (x2) 2.35 Emmerdale 3.00 Teleshopping 5.05 Gossip Girl 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen
2.40pm Rising Damp 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Lake Of Darkness 11.20 Monsignor Renard 1.00am Inspector Morse 2.35 Surgical Spirit (x2)
1.10pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 My Name Is Earl 12.25am Scrubs (x2) 1.20 Supernanny
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Hotel Rwanda (2004) 11.15 Eddie Izzard: Dress To Kill. See highlights. 12.35am FILM: Hotel Rwanda (2004)
11.00am Dual Alibi (1947) 12.40pm Highly Dangerous (1950) 2.25 Roseland (1977) 4.30 There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) 6.45 Take The Lead (2006) 9.00 Dreamgirls (2006) 11.35 Being John Malkovich (1999) 1.45am Prick Up Your Ears (1987)
039_LS453_TV_Sat
12/3/09
3:29 PM
Page 1
Saturday 12 The X Factor ITV1, 7.30pm Oh my giddy aunt, it’s the final already. No Jedward, no Lucy, no Jamie Afro – they’ve all fallen by the wayside, leaving the final three to stand up and launch a career on a par with Leona Lewis’. Good luck with that. With international stars providing the duet offerings and Dermot offering his shoulder to both.
The British Comedy Awards 2009 ITV1, 9.30pm The great thing about comedians is you never know what they’re going to do next. The scary thing about live television is you can’t undo something that’s just been done. What happens if you combine these two elements and add alcohol? Jonathan Ross hosts the results.
Rosemary And Thyme ITV3, 8pm These two lady horticulturalists must feel like they have a touch of the Miss Marple curse. Everywhere they go on their travels, a stiff turns up. Can’t make them terribly popular at dinner parties. This time they’re on the coast of Italy creating a restaurant garden for a client. Then someone carks it. Surprise.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship – Semi Final 4.20 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.20 South East Today 5.30 Hole In The Wall
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.10 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 TMi 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Deadly 60 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 The Season 12.55 Greek 1.40 Revealed 2.00 The Sky At Night 2.20 Animal Park 2.50 FILM: I Know Where I’m Going (1947) 4.20 Snooker: UK Championship – Semi Final 5.30 Coast 6.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship – Semi Final Hazel Irvine introduces coverage as the second semi-final reaches its conclusion. Generally the conclusion is that all of the balls fall into the pockets. Never any surprise, no comedy, no twists. 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, host Dominic West. Repeat of Friday’s show. 10.10 The Thick Of It Awardwinning political comedy starring Peter Capaldi with Rebecca Front, Roger Allam, Chris Addison. As the election looms and the Opposition eye the prize, the word around the Westminster Village is that Malcolm Tucker is running out of both options and friends. 10.40 Pulling Special One-off special comedy based around the tangled love lives of three women. Repeat. Still good though. 11.40 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. As the Antares draws closer to Venus, the mysterious secret in Pod 4 is finally exposed, revealing the incredible true nature of the space mission. At last! 12.25am Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights 1.15 FILM: Days Of Wine And Roses (1963)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Horrid Henry 9.55 Atomic Betty 10.10 Emu 10.25 Finger Tips 10.45 FILM: The Little Polar Bear 12.10pm ITV News & Weather 12.15 FILM: Black Beauty (1994) 1.55 FILM: Curly Sue (1991) 3.55 FILM: Scooby-Doo (2002) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News & Weather
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Freesports On 4 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 90210 11.00 Friends 11.35 Hollyoaks Music Show 12.05pm Avatar Film Special 12.40 Scrubs 1.15 Scrubs 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Cheryl Cole: T4 Special 4.15 My First Year 4.50 My First Year 5.20 FILM: Jingle All The Way (1996)
6.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp Telly critic Harry Hill presents another rollicking ride of juicy TV moments as he shares more of the funniest moments from previous series. 6.30 Cheryl Cole’s Night In Join Cheryl Cole for the ultimate night in, with performances of songs from her new album and special guest appearances from some of her friends, musical heroes, and influences, including Rihanna, Will Young, Will.I.Am and Alexandra Burke. Plus a few surprises along the way. Anyone wanna sell a new album out this Christmas? Just asking. 7.30 The X Factor See highlights. 9.30 The British Comedy Awards 2009 See highlights. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: Ali G Indahouse (2002) Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Michael Gambon, Charles Dance, Kellie Bright, Martin Freeman and Rhona Mitra. Outrageous comedy featuring selfstyled voice of youth Ali G. In an attempt to save Staines leisure centre, Ali is unexpectedly elected to Parliament, but he does not realise that he is part of an evil plan to overthrow the Prime Minister. Gadzooks – we mean, booyakasha man! That blows! 12.55am FILM: Lies My Mother Told Me (2004) 2.35 Crossing Jordan 3.20 ITV Nightscreen
7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Cookery-based reality show. Sheffield businesswoman Susanne Bell is determined to serve up a tasty menu in sumptuous surroundings. However, her evening is hijacked by one of her guests. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Painter Chris Crossley’s bizarre menu includes frogs’ legs, curry and bread and butter pudding. 8.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Clothes shop owner Hazel Glossop prepares an oxtail belly buster. Chris uses her special dinner party game as an excuse for raunchy behaviour. Whe-hey! 9.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 22-year-old Ollie Baxter has a mishap with chilli sauce in a delicate place, but manages to serve up a breaded monkfish starter, venison and runny chocolate brownies. Gurgle yum argh... 9.30 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) Starring Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman. Prison drama about the relationship between two inmates of Shawshank State Prison over two decades. Brill. 12.15am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road 1.20 FILM: Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (2003) 3.10 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.55 Switched 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 One Tree Hill 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Angels Of Jarm 7.05 Fireman Sam 7.20 Rupert Bear 7.30 Hana’s Helpline 7.45 The WotWots 8.00 Make Way For Noddy 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 The Mr. Men Show 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 The Gadget Show: Christmas Special 12.00pm Britain’s Best Brain 1.00 Zoo Days 1.10 FILM: Murder Most Foul (1964) 3.00 FILM: The Shootist (1976) 5.05 FILM: The Omega Man (1971) 7.05 Five News 7.10 NCIS Drama series. Gibbs’s team investigates the death of a SEAL during a training exercise and soon suspect that it was not accidental. Sabotage! 8.05 CSI: NY Drama series. Mac wrestles with a demon when he confronts a killer who was released from jail because of his actions. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The CSIs attempt to solve a string of murders connected to a cache of stolen casino chips. Will Ray be forced to use his weapon to defend himself? If you’re asking it seems probable. Dur! 10.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. A man accused of the murders of two Arabs claims that he was genetically and biologically predisposed to hatred and violence. 10.55 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Both Mac and Stella find themselves under investigation when the police probe the outcome of Mac’s last case and Stella’s DNA is connected to a suspected homicide. Uh oh. They’re in trouble. Someone’s came along... 11.50 Women Who Kill The story of Missy Vanover. 12.15am SuperCasino 4.00 House Doctor (x2) 4.50 Rough Guide To Adventures5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 Live Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.45 LIVE European Rugby 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 Merlin Fantasy drama. When the Fires of Idirsholas burn for the first time in three hundred years, Gaius fears a sorcerer has revived the deadly Knights of Medhir. And he’s right; Morgause has returned, hellbent on ending Uther’s reign. Kapow! 6.45 Strictly Come Dancing It’s semi-final week and the competition steps up a gear as the remaining three couples are one step closer to lifting that glitterball trophy. 8.00 The National Lottery Draws 8.10 Casualty Medical drama series. Jordan is determined to prove himself at all costs. Polly attends Alistair’s funeral, and realises the extent of his obsession – with severe consequences. Ay-yah. 9.00 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson continue with their inimitable impressions. 9.30 Strictly Come Dancing Results Three couples danced their hearts out in a bid to make it to the final, but one must now leave the competition. There’s also music from Lily Allen. Alright? 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights. 11.50 The Football League Show 1.05am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.05 Weatherview 2.10 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 WWE Special 9.00 NFL – America’s Game 10.00 Gillette World Sport 10.30 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 1.00pm LIVE European Rugby 3.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.45 Sky Sports Classics 6.00 Golf Night 8.00 LIVE Boxing 11.00 Scottish Premier League 11.30 Cricket: Twenty20 International 2.30am Spanish Football 4.00 NFL – Total Access 5.00 NFL – America’s Game
Sky Sports 3 6.00am European Rugby 8.30 Kiteboarding 9.00 WWE: Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 Live Scottish Premier League 3.00 WWE Preview 3.30 WWE Special 4.30 WWE Preview 5.00 WWE Smackdown 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 WWE Preview 11.30 WWE Late Night Superstars 12.30am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.30 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.30 WWE Preview 4.00 Golf Night
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
2.00pm New Oops TV 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 5.00 New Oops TV 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Modern Family 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 50 Greatest Families 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Young Mechanic Of The Year 9.00 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 9.30 Jay-Z: Live From Madison Square Garden 10.20 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.20 Family Guy 11.40 American Dad! (x2) 12.25am Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? 1.25 Russell Howard’s Good News
7.00pm The Art Of Russia 8.00 The Poisoner 9.35 Wallander 11.10 Gimme Shelter 12.45am The Art Of Russia 1.45 The Poisoner 3.20 Gimme Shelter
4.30pm I’m A Celebrity Jungle Gems 5.30 I’m A Celebrity - Jungle Kings And Queens 6.30 New Homes From Hell 2009 7.30 Holiday Showdown 8.30 Holiday Showdown 9.30 The Xtra Factor 10.30 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 11.00 The British Comedy Awards - The Fun Goes On 12.00am The X Factor
12.05pm FILM: Columbo: Caution, Murder Can Be Hazardous To Your Health (1991) 1.55 FILM: Columbo: A Bird In The Hand (1991) 3.55 FILM: Columbo: It’s All In The Game (1993) 5.55 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme. See highlights 9.00 Rebus 10.35 Vincent 12.05am Inspector Morse 2.00 The Charmer
1.50pm Style Her Famous 2.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 50 Greatest Comedy Films 10.45 Sam Taylor Wood’s Nowhere Boy 11.50 FILM: Kiss Of The Dragon (2001) 1.40am Supernanny US
4.05pm Grand Designs Revisited (x4) 8.25 To Be Or Not To Be... In Shakespeare 9.30 Guns, Germs And Steel 11.40 The World’s Greatest Stand-Up 12.45am Guns, Germs And Steel 2.50 The World’s Greatest Stand-Up
11.00am Viva Max! (1969) 1.00pm Doctor Dolittle (1998) 2.40 Appointment In London (1953) 4.35 Return Of The Magnificent Seven (1966) 6.25 Freedom Writers (2007) 9.00 Aliens (1986) 12.00am Saw (2004) 2.00 Swingers (1996)
040_LS453_TV_Sun
12/4/09
1:04 PM
Page 1
Sunday 13 Sports Personality Of The Year 2009 BBC1, 7pm Live from the Sheffield Arena, Sue Barker, Gary Lineker and Jake Humphrey present the biggest ever Sports Personality Of The Year awards, celebrating the best moments in sport this year. The winner is chosen by the viewers on the night from a shortlist of 10 contenders. Ready?
The X Factor ITV1, 7.30pm Two. Whole. Hours. That’s how long it’ll take to pick this year’s XFactor winner. These things can’t be rushed. First of all the third place is announced. Who will it be? But they’re so cute! Then the last two perform the winner’s single. Not like Peter Kay did. It’ll be a voting mania. And Simon’s smile won’t slip once.
Film: Columbo: Murder With Too Many Notes ITV3, 12.15pm Directed by Patrick McGoohan (him off The Prisoner) and costarring Billy Connolly with the raincoat-wearing Peter Falk, this is a 21st century Columbo mystery waiting to be solved. Connolly plays an award-winning composer, and the dead bloke’s a talented new composer. Hmm...
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 7.30 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 2.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.25 EastEnders 4.20 Lifeline 4.30 Points Of View 4.50 Songs Of Praise 5.30 Life
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 OOglies 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 ChuckleVision Christmas Special 8.30 The Basil Brush Show 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.30pm Sports Personality Of The Year: The Contenders 1.05 Athletics: European Cross-Country Championships 2.00 Snooker: UK Championship – Final 5.30 Ski Sunday
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Supernormal 9.50 Horrid Henry 10.05 Emu 10.20 Emu 10.35 Finger Tips 10.55 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.10pm ITV News & Weather 1.15 Animals Do The Funniest Things 2.15 Columbo: Rest In Peace, Mrs Columbo 4.15 Midsomer Murders
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 7.55 The British Gas Great Swim Series 8.50 Friends 9.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.55 90210 12.40pm St Trinian’s 2: T4 Premiere Special 1.25 Ugly Betty 2.20 JLS Christmas Crackers 3.25 The Simpsons 3.55 The Simpsons 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Channel 4 News 5.45 FILM: Elf (2003)
6.00 – 8.00am Chidlren’s television 8.00 Make Way For Noddy 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.35 The Mr. Men Show 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.20 Little Princess 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Hannah Montana 11.45 The Tribe 12.15pm Zoo Days 12.35 FILM: Three Wise Guys (2005) 2.20 FILM: Blizzard (2003) 4.20 FILM: Grounded (2006)
6.00am Scottish Premier League 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Football League 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Spanish Football
6.30 BBC News 6.45 South East Today 7.00 Sports Personality Of The Year 2009 See highlights. 9.00 Small Island The stories of Hortense, Queenie and Gilbert whose lives entwine in post World War II London. Hortense begins her new life in England and soon learns it is not the golden land she hoped it would be. She and Gilbert suffer racism and ignorance, but in adversity they discover new qualities in each other and begin to fall in love. Queenie is shocked when her husband Bernard returns to her after years away. 10.30 BBC News 10.45 South East Today 10.55 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles introduces highlights and analysis of the day’s Premier League showdown between Liverpool and Arsenal. The last six matches between Liverpool and Arsenal at Anfield have produced 34 goals, including the memorable 4-4 draw in April 2009 when Andrey Arshavin’s four-goal haul was not enough to give the visitors victory. 11.40 BlackJack Australian crime drama about a detective consigned to re-investigating old cases. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.15 Miranda 2.45 What Is Beauty? 3.45 BBC News
6.00 100 Years Of Girl Guides In September 2009 the Girl Guides celebrated their centenary. With a membership of over 600,000, nearly half the female population of Britain has been involved with the Brownies and Girl Guides at some time during their lives. This film delves into the movement’s extraordinary archive and interviews a host of former Guides. 7.00 Delia’s Classic Christmas Another chance to catch Ms Smith’s tasty treats. 8.00 Victorian Farm Christmas Historical reality programme. The Victorian farmers return to the Acton Scott estate in Shropshire to celebrate a traditional Christmas. 9.00 Snooker: UK Championship – Final With BBC’s Sports Personality of the Year celebrating their win in Sheffield, it’s time to turn attention to Telford and the battle to become UK Champion 2009. A maximum of eleven frames will be played to decide the winner of the prestigious title and a cheque for £100,000. 11.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Repeat of Wednesday’s show. 11.30 Argumental Comedy debating show with host John Sergeant. Team captains Marcus Brigstocke and Rufus Hound are joined by comedians Dara O Briain and Will Smith. 12.00am FILM: The Blue Tower (2008) 1.25 BBC News
6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.45 All Star Family Fortunes West End star and I’d Do Anything winner Jodie Prenger brings her family to battle against singer Gareth Gates and his Bradford-based clan. It’s blimmin’ reality winners night. 7.30 The X Factor See highlights. 9.30 I Dreamed A Dream – The Susan Boyle Story The much-loved star of Britain’s Got Talent performs a selection of her favourite songs and has her dream come true in a duet with one of her heroes. Don’t you just love a reality winner? 10.30 ITV News & Weather 10.45 Wayne McGregor – Across The Threshold: The South Bank Show Insightful documentary following a year in the life of Royal Ballet Resident Choreographer Wayne McGregor. Not a reality winner. Phew! He and Melvyn Bragg discuss how Covent Garden is embracing new directions in art and the relationship between traditional ballet and contemporary dance. 11.45 FILM: Gorillas In The Mist (1988) Starring Sigourney Weaver, Bryan Brown. Powerful drama based on the life story of crusading zoologist Dian Fossey. 1.55am UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.20 Traffic 3.55 Christmas For A Pound: Tonight 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
7.30 The Worst Christmas Jobs In History In this Christmas special, Tony Robinson reminds us of the unfortunate workers who have toiled through the centuries to make our best-loved holiday go with a swing. Feeling good through others’ misery. It’s the Christmas way? 8.30 Come Dine With Me Reality series. Four cooks from West Yorkshire compete to see who can host the perfect dinner party. 9.30 FILM: Epic Movie (2007) Starring Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jennifer Coolidge, Jayma Mays. Scattergun spoof of cinematic epics about four orphans, each of whom have a back story based on a popular film, who team up to take on a magical world’s evil leader with the help of a child wizard, a shambolic pirate and a horny lion. 11.10 FILM: Cellular (2004) Starring Kim Basinger, Chris Evans, William H Macy, Jason Statham and Jessica Biel. Fast-paced thriller. A young man receives an emergency call on his mobile phone from a woman who claims to have been kidnapped. Told that the ruthless gang have threatened to kill her family, he becomes involved in an increasingly desperate rescue bid. 1.00am FILM: Lolita (1997) 3.25 Journey Through The Night 3.35 Deadliest Catch 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.15 One Tree Hill
6.05 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 6.30 Five News 6.35 FILM: Raid On Entebbe (1977) Starring Peter Finch, Charles Bronson, Jack Warden, Yaphet Kotto, Horst Buchholz, Martin Balsam, Eddie Constantine. Drama based on the real-life 1976 Israeli raid on Entebbe airport, Uganda, to rescue airline passengers taken hostage by terrorists. Horst Buchholz plays the cool leader of the hijackers, who holds the hostages’ fate in his hands. 9.30 FILM: Constantine (2005) Starring Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Djimon Hounsou and Max Baker. Supernatural action fantasy based on the cult comic book Hellblazer. An ordinary man who can see both good and evil spirits in human guise tries to kill himself when his ability becomes too much for him. But he is saved from death, and must atone for his actions by becoming a guardian who banishes earthbound demons to Hell. Bummer. 11.50 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. 12.55am NFL Live 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Surfing 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 Boxing 10.30 WWE Preview 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Surfing 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 LIVE European Rugby 2.45 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE NFL 12.30am Golf Night
Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Special 7.00 WWE Preview 7.30 WWE Afterburn 8.30 WWE Vintage Collection 9.30 WWE Preview 10.00 Gillette World Sport 10.30 Live European Tour Golf: Alfred Dunhill Championship 2.30pm Surfing 3.00 WWE Preview 3.30 WWE Vintage Collection 4.30 WWE Preview 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 WWE Preview 6.30 Golf Night 9.00 European Rugby Special 10.00 WWE Preview 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am WWE Preview 1.00 Max Power
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
12.00pm WWE Preview 1.00 Project Runway (x2) 3.00 Angela And Friends: Our Best Bits 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 Futurama (x4) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Bones 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Road Wars 1.55 UK Border Force 2.45 Prison Break
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad! 10.45 Gavin And Stacey 11.15 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.15am Mouth To Mouth (x2) 1.15 Russell Howard’s Good News
7.00pm A History Of Christianity 8.00 Games Britannia 9.00 How Do You Solve A Problem Like Lolita? 10.00 Mark Lawson Talks To AS Byatt 11.00 For Art’s Sake - The Story Of Ballet Russes 12.00am How Do You Solve A Problem Like Lolita? 1.00 Games Britannia 2.00 A History Of Christianity
1.30pm The Xtra Factor (x6) 7.30 Holiday Homes From Hell (x2) 9.30 The Xtra Factor 10.30 Cheryl Cole’s Night In 11.30 Nicola McLean: Studs And Stilettos 12.30am The X Factor 2.30 The Xtra Factor 3.20 Supernatural 4.05 Teleshopping 5.05 Gossip Girl 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
12.15pm FILM: Columbo: Murder With Too Many Notes (2000) See highlights.2.05 Inspector Morse 4.20 FILM: Swallows And Amazons (1974) 6.15 The Forsyte Saga 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 11.05 Cracker 12.10am Life (x2) 1.50 Wycliffe 2.45 On The Buses (x2) 3.40 Emmerdale
12.05pm Dark Angel 1.05 Dark Angel 2.00 Reaper 3.00 Reaper 4.00 Young, Sexy And... Rockin’ 4.55 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 One Tree Hill 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 FILM: Sahara (2005) 11.25 Russell Brand: Skinned 12.30am Supernanny US
12.45pm Scrapheap Challenge 1.50 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage 9.00 Confessions Of A Traffic Warden 10.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Hung 12.20am Curb Your Enthusiasm
11.00am The Woodlanders (1997) 1.00pm Bogus (1996) 3.10 Cattle Empire (1958) 4.50 Warlock (1959) 7.10 Inspector Gadget (1999) 9.00 The Abyss (1989) 11.45 Stuck On You (2003) 2.00am Strictly Sinatra (2000)
041_LS453_TV_Mon
12/4/09
1:05 PM
Page 1
Monday 14 Out Of My Depth ITV1, 9pm More than a little similar to In At The Deep End, the Chris Searle vehicle of the mid ‘80s, this sees celebs try their hand at something they have absolutely no experience at whatsoever. They train intensely for a month and then see if they can hack it with the pros. Amanda Holden is kicking off with midwifery. Nice.
Man On Earth Channel 4, 9pm We’ve done it before. We’ll do it again. Survive massive climate change as a species, that is. So says Tony Robinson in his study of climate over the last 200,000 years. Global warming at the end of the last Ice Age resulted in the dawn of civilisation. Oh, and the devastation of the globe. So what’s gonna happen to us?
Film: Time Bandits Film4, 6.45pm The film that brought the wise response to the petty observation you shouldn’t eat candlesticks: “You never know until you’ve eaten it!”, comes in all its visual clutter to our screens. A boy, Kevin, encounters six small men who hold a map to gaps God didn’t have time to fill in when he made the universe. Top.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Celebrity Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia chats to the latest couple to be knocked out. 7.00 Coal House At War It is time for the men to hang up their lamps, the women to take off their uniforms, and the evacuees to return to their parents in the city – but not before everyone gets in the swing at the community dance for a final send-off. 7.30 An Island Parish A year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly. 8.00 University Challenge University of Edinburgh take on Regent’s Park College, Oxford. J eremy Paxman asks the questions. 8.30 Miranda When a handsome guy leaves his wallet in the shop, Miranda and Stevie think it could be a sign, especially when they discover he’s called Robert Husband. 9.00 School Of Saatchi The six unknown artists selected by Charles Saatchi embark on their final and most important commission: putting on a group exhibition at Saatchi’s world famous gallery. 10.00 QI Comedy quiz show. Stephen Fry gently guides guests Liza Tarbuck, Phill Jupitus, Sean Lock and Alan Davies through the world of games. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Have I Got News For You Repeat. 11.50 Defying Gravity Repeat. 12.35am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Will And Grace 9.00 Hollyoaks Music Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Garage Wars 12.35 Wife Swap USA 1.30 FILM: The Black Shield Of Falworth (1954) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Pantomime Special 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks When Calvin walks in on Mercedes as she is trying on her sexy Santa outfit, they are both left wondering how much longer they will be able to resist their mutual attraction. Hormones at Hanukkah. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Christmas At River Cottage Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall returns to River Cottage to prepare for a Yuletide feast. He challenges his chefs Gill and Tim to help transform the fortunes of the much-maligned Brussels sprout by coming up with new recipes. Sprout smoothie? 9.00 Man On Earth See highlights. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama series about an ordinary-looking secretary working for a fashion magazine. Henry pushes Betty to admit that she still loves her ex-fiancé. How many fiancés does this girl need?! 10.55 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Chef Gordon Ramsay presents the fast-paced food magazine show celebrating the very best of Britain’s independent local restaurants. 12.00am 4 Music: 4Music Favourites: Jamie T 12.35 4Play: Newton Faulkner 12.50 King Of The Hill (x2) 1.40 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 2.35 FILM: Never Love A Stranger (1958) 4.10 Switched 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.25 One Tree Hill
6.00 – 8.00am Chidlren’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Hana’s Helpline 8.45 The WotWots 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Little Lodgers 9.05 Pocoyo 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Home And Away 2.20 Sea Patrol UK 3.20 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.35 FILM: Crazy For Christmas (2005) 5.30 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 6.00 Home And Away The tension rises between Martha and Hugo. Gina and Xavier try and come to terms with Hugo’s lies. Hugo’s stirr-rring it up in Summer Bay. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert learns how a busy shipping channel in Canada is kept clear of ice during freezing winters; how giant bells are made in London; and how billions of rubber bands are produced every year. To put into golf balls! 8.00 Gadget Show: Gadget Of The Decade The presenters take a look back at the last ten years of technology, focusing on music, gaming, photography, computing and telecommunications. 9.00 FILM: Bad Santa (2003) Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Lauren Graham, Brad Kelly and John Ritter. Black comedy about an alcoholic con man who robs department stores every Christmas Eve by working as a resident Santa. 11.05 FILM: Beerfest (2006) Starring Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Cloris Leachman. Riotous road-trip movie in which two German-American brothers travel to Germany to participate in a secret beer-swilling competition. 1.15am SuperCasino 3.00 V8 Supercars 3.55 Race And Rally UK 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Great Scientists 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 LIVE International Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out England Surprising stories from across England. 8.00 EastEnders As Janine gets closer to Archie, Billy discovers their wicked plan. Meanwhile Ian’s day goes from bad to worse, and Bianca gives evidence at Tony’s trial. 8.30 Panorama What is wrong with the Royal Mail? Panorama investigates the service that gets around 5,000 complaints a day, and asks if our once-proud postal service is failing its customers. 9.00 Life The nature documentary series examines primates. Primates are just like us – intelligent, quarrelsome, family-centred. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Among the guests are Hollywood superstar Robert Downey Jr, fellow Irishman Ed Byrne and Will Young. 11.25 Kieren Fallon: The Ride To Redemption An Inside Sport special. Clare Balding asks the questions and gets the answers from the enthralling enigma that is Kieren Fallon. 11.55 BlackJack Crime drama. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: The Art On Your Wall With Sue Perkins 2.30 Beautiful People 3.00 Sign Zone: Horizon: Why Do We Talk? 4.00 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie is secretly pleased when Charity returns Cain’s money. Keep it in the family. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Carla be rumbled by the police? A desperate Dev is torn between Sunita and Bernie. Ken’s Gazette article causes trouble. Boo. 8.00 Countrywise Paul Heiney and the team explore Britain’s countryside. 8.30 Coronation Street Michelle makes the connection between Liam’s killer and Carla. Dev tries to salvage relations with Sunita. Norris reluctantly feels guilty about Graeme’s accident. 9.00 Out Of My Depth See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Taking Lives (2004) Starring Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez, Jean-Hugues Anglade and Paul Dano. Mystery thriller in which an unorthodox FBI profiling expert travels to Montreal to help local police find a serial killer who mutilates his victims then assumes their identities. The case turns out to be more complicated than she thought. Always does. Clever clogs. 12.30am Quincy, ME 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 European Rugby Special 11.30 Powder Adventures 12.00pm Boxing 2.00 Powder Adventures 2.30 European Rugby Special 3.30 Golf Night 6.00 Great Run Series 6.30 Extra Time 7.00 IRB Sevens 10.00 British Rally Championship 11.00 NFL 12.30am IRB Sevens 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 Football League
Sky Sports 3 6.00am The Premier League Years 8.00 Mosconi Cup 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL 1.30 NFL – America’s Game 2.30 NFL – America’s Game 3.30 NFL 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 British Rally Championship 8.00 NFL 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.00 The Premier League Years
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.55 Oops TV
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who: Top 5 Christmas Moments 8.00 Wallace And Gromit: A Close Shave 8.30 Move Like Michael Jackson: Auditions (x2) 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Move Like Michael Jackson: Auditions (x2) 1.40am Blood, Sweat And Takeaways
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Morning In The Streets 8.00 James May’s Top Toys 9.00 Games Britannia 10.00 The Age Of Stupid: Storyville 11.30 Comedy Songs: The Pop Years 1.00am The Comic Songbook: Timeshift 2.00 Games Britannia 3.00 Comedy Songs: The Pop Years
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 1) 10.00 FILM: Sister Act (1992) 12.05am Coronation Street (x2) 1.05 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009
3.10pm FILM: Columbo: A Bird In The Hand (1991) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.45 On The Buses 7.20 Rising Damp 7.55 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Inspector Morse 11.00 The Bill: Twist Of Fate 12.05am Wycliffe 1.10 Quincy, ME 2.05 Cane 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
2.05pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Being Erica 11.00 FILM: Big Nothing (2006) 12.40am My Name Is Earl 1.10 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Switched Up!
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Come Dine With Me
11.00am Guest Wife (1945) 12.45pm The Strange Affair Of Uncle Harry (1945) 2.20 Fanny By Gaslight (1944) 4.25 The Way Ahead (1944) 6.45 Time Bandits (1981). See highlights. 9.00 Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) 11.15 Monster (2003) 1.20am Being John Malkovich (1999)