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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
MONSTER HIT
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
Spike Jonze on Where The Wild Things Are p 11
15 – 21 December 2009
FREE WEEKLY
Icedreams
JEWEL PURPOSE Glittering gifts at Goodman Morris
The spectacular new Holiday On Ice show at the Brighton Centre page 12
>
PRESENT TENSE Great ideas for last minute gifts
Have you seen our top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at TOP
latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
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003_LS454_contents
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary The Rockinghorse and Chestnut Tree House charity balls, plus Christmas Open Houses and Cinecity 5 Competitions Win books, DVDs and a very posh new skin cream 5 Astral Angi Which inspirational diva shares your star sign? 7 Heather Mills’ VBites How to have a green Christmas 8 Bookings Simply Red, Michael Bolton, Ellie Goulding, Tunng 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 8 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s looking good for the Christmas Number One? 9 Celebcity Helen Mirren at the Women In Film and Television Awards, plus Llewelyn-Bowen films in Brighton 12 Cover feature The new Holiday On Ice show, Spirit 15 Snap Shots Peter Pan star Harry Francis
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11 L7 INTERVIEW With the film screening across Brighton, Where The Wild Things Are director Spike Jonze talks monster suits, on-set tantrums and learning to think like a nine-year-old boy
17 LIFESTYLE 17 Brighton Christmas Market Seasonal shopping at the massive indoor market 18 Goodman Morris jewellery Cocktail rings and cufflinks at The Lanes jewellers 21 Gift guide Last-minute gifts you can buy locally 25 Food & Drink Purple potatoes and carrot mousse at Alfriston’s The Star 27 Hotlist 21 great restaurants and coffee shops
31
L7 Don’t miss...
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
29 WHAT’S ON 29 Stage Chichester Festival Youth Theatre take on Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen 30 Events Winter solstice celebration Burning The Clocks 30 Art Crane Kalman’s aptly-named Eclectica exhibition 31 Film A decade in the making, Avatar finally hits the big screen 33 Music & Clubs Local bands to look out for in 2010 36 Comedy The Treason Show’s That Was The Year That Was 36 Gay Your seven-day gay listings guide 37 Reviews Peter Pan, Alice Cooper, Will Young, Stephen Malkmus 38 Sport Marathon Mary tries to out-run the party season 38 TV Plan your Christmas viewing
How do you turn Maurice Sendak’s Where The Wild Things Are, one of the best books of all time but only ten lines long, into a feature film? Our answer would be to make the wild rumpus very, very long, kind of like one of those three-day Mexican Fiestas but with more monsters and slightly less tortilla. But then we’re not Spike Jonze. Find out how the award-winning director approached making the Christmas family film for people who don’t like Christmas family films in this week’s L7 Interview. In our cover feature, Holiday On Ice connoisseur Andrew Kay gives a colourful costume change-by-colourful costume change account of the new show, Spirit, which arrives at the Brighton Centre in January. Look out especially for dancers dressed as kendo warriors and fuchsia pink flowers and operating singing frog puppets. Holiday On Hallucinogens, we like it. By the time this issue of L7 hits the stands, the X Factor winner will have been announced and we’ll all know who’s going to be topping the charts on the 25th. You can’t do anything about it. But you can help to determine which local band or musician will get the Christmas Number One in the Latest Music Chart. In the last three months alone the chart has had nearly 46,000 views. Join the musical conversation by visiting www.thelatest.co.uk /7/music-chart and voting for your favourite track now. This is our last issue of 2009, but we’ll be returning on 5 January with all your favourite columnists and an interview with Never Forget’s new star, Philip Olivier. In the meantime, we’ve included an extended TV guide to tide you over, and all the usual what’s on listings can be found at www.thelatest.co.uk. LET THE WILD RUMPUS BEGIN!
Burning The Clocks Monday 21 December Madeira Drive At this family event to mark Winter Solstice, homemade paper lanterns are paraded along Madeira Drive before being burned on Brighton beach. Always stunning and far nicer, and safer, than burning wicker men.
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
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SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps two charity balls, plus the launches of Christmas Open Houses and Cinecity Guy Clinch (Chairman of Trustees, Chestnut Tree House) & Kerstin Jagfelt
Mike Holland & Kate McKenzie
Annette Day & Dave Day
Matthew Robinson, Marcella Whittingdale & Andrew Kay (Latest Homes)
Christina Chatfield (Dental Health Spa), Judy Welsh (Brighton Racecourse), Sue Addis (Donatello), Francis Ford (The Brighton Centre) and Paul McBride
Gavin Fisher (CEO, Rockinghorse) with Victoria Seely
Winter Wonderland A staggering £62,000 was raised at Rockinghorse’s 14th Annual Wonderland Ball last month. The event saw The Grand Hotel in Brighton transformed into the world of Lewis Carroll’s most famous creation, Alice In Wonderland, complete with characters from the much-loved children’s story, a three-course dinner at the Mad Hatter’s tea party, and games such as pin the tail on the Cheshire cat. To donate money or to find out how you can get involved with the charity, visit www.rockinghorse.org.uk
Judy Stevens and Chris Lord
Harvey Daniels and Judy Stapleton
Guy Lloyd (Juice 107.2) Susie Wheeler (Juice 107.2 Competition Winner), Justin Wishart (Juice 107.2 Competition Winner) & Andrea Fox (Juice 107.2)
Gary Goodman (Exhibiting Artist) Heather James (Chair of Brighton Fringe)
Jenny Taylor and Kirsty Taylor
Hearthside shopping 6 Clifton Street was the venue for the preview of the 7th Christmas Artists Open Houses, which this year was extended to three weekends and included over 70 houses filled with almost every kind of Christmas gift you could wish for.
The Magic Number
Snow ball
Ambrose Harcourt (AHPR), Pauline Bright, Julie-Anne Gilburt (JAG Gallery), Alan Morton, Annl Liang, Charlotte Wright & Stacey Bunn
This year's Snowman Spectacular Fundraising Ball for Chestnut Tree House raised a staggering £54,000 for the children's hospice, smashing last year's total of £40,000. The event, which took place on 4 December at the Hilton Brighton Metropole, was a sell-out success, attracting 570 guests made up of hospice supporters and influential business people from across Sussex. For further information visit www.chestnut-tree-house.org.uk
[Top] Emily, Sandy Kassalias (Festival Volunteers) Tim Brown and Frank Grey (Festival Co-Directors) [Bottom] Sara Duffy (Festival Co-ordinator) and Nicky Beaumont (Festival Manager)
Carol Cleveland, Marcus Bailey (Brighton Print and Media House – Sponsor of Cinecity) & Debs Simpson (Forward PR)
Jon Barrenechea and Felicity Ventom (Duke of York’s Picturehouse)
Nannette Aldred (Board of Cinecity), Esme Aldred & Larch Aldred
Movies and shakers Brighton Film Festival Cinecity opened with pre-screening drinks at Xuma Bar in Seven Dials prior to a special screening of Amelie director Jean-Pierre Jeunet's charming comedy Micmacs at The Duke Of York’s. Other sell-out events in the festival, which will return in 2010, included a screening of The Road followed by a Q&A with director John Hillcoat and longterm collaborator Nick Cave. For more info visit www.cine-city.co.uk/2009
005_LS454_stars/comps
12/11/09
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COMPETITIONS | ASTRAL ANGI 05
COMPETITIONS BEAUTY’S SECRET WEAPON If the thought of Botox unnerves you, then start the new year and the new you with new product Relaxaderm Advance instead. It’s from leading Australian skincare range Skin Doctors and is set to challenge Botox. Notice an improvement to your skin in 28 days. The war against fine lines and wrinkles is on! Relaxerderm contains new antiageing ingredient Dermatox-63; it’s just arrived in the UK and we have two (rrp £49.95 each) to give away! Q Which Britain’s Got Talent judge has admitted to using Botox?
WIN!
DVDS FOR ALL TASTES! Once the Christmas telly has dried up, don’t go into meltdown. We’ve got some cracking films up for grabs. 1941 is Steven Spielberg’s madcap look at the Second World War, starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd. Fancy something to keep the kids occupied? Then crack open Shorts, directed by Robert Rodriguez. And if chills and plot twists float your boat tuck into Coffin Rock, out 28 December. It’ll make you look twice at strangers! We’ve got three packs of all three and two runners-up prizes to be won. Q In which 1980 film did Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi star as Elwood and Jake?
CLOSET READING: 500 YEARS OF BRITISH HUMOUR
When Stephen Fry describes a book as ‘fun’, we sit up and pay attention. And then we get some in for you to win. Phil Norman’s history of British humour is full of odd and wittily written curio and the most fascinating of facts and stories. We’ve got three copies to give away. Q Which quiz show does Stephen Fry host?
MANAGEMENT B*****KS BOOK If you’ve had as much as you can take of ‘lining your ducks up in a row’, you’re in good company with author Richard Havers, whose fun and fully illustrated tome ‘how to talk your way to the top’ ridicules the ridiculous. We have five copies to be won. Q Which television programme had the catchphrase, “I didn’t get where I am today by...”?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 4 January 2010.
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
Astral’s divine and inspirational divas
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Be inspired by Arian Celine Dion this week. What a shining example she is to us all. A great talent, yes, but also proof that good cosmetic dental work pays dividends. Cher is the Taurean that I want all Taureans to look up to. What a fine example of womanhood, and the work she created in the wig industry should not go unmarked. Geminis, take a look at Rosemary Clooney – a star for sure, but also an inspiration when she carved a new career later in life promoting incontinence wear. Bless her.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Cancerians, bow down to your fellow crab, the luscious Pamela Anderson. Never shy of leading from the front our Pammy, and good for her. If you’ve got ’em, flaunt ’em I say. Leos, pay homage to Coco Chanel. SIngle handedly she changed the world of fashion – and regenerated the tweed-weaving industry. Does a Chanel tweed suit itch? What finer icon for Virgos than Ingrid Bergman? Such strength of character both on and off the screen and a firm advocate of a warm milky drink and an early night.
Librans, bow down before Brigitte Bardot. What a woman, confident enough in her self that she knows she can face the world wearing no make-up whatsoever. Bravo Brigitte. Scorpios have Bjork and, like her or not, you have to admire this feisty little icelandic chanteuse and her ever so whacky way with song. Astral thinks she is a god – of some kind. Sagis, I give you Kim Basinger. Oh, I know that she has made a few risky choices in her career but good heavens, admire the woman for leaving herself open to criticism.
Bernadette of Lourdes was a Capricorn and inspired a travel industry that made Billy Butlin look like an amateur. A bit less knobbly knees Billy and a bit more God, eh. Hats off to Jennifer Aniston, who has given Aquarians everywhere some credibility by being dippy but getting paid good money for it. Full marks for effort, Jen. Pisceans get Charlotte Church. I love her, no really I love her. I want to take her to Bardlsey’s and buy her a fish supper with all the bits. Just to stop her singing or yakking.
000_LS454_Dymanic Yoga
10/12/09
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NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR
www.dynamicyoga.tv The studio incorporates a fantastic new ‘state of the art’ fresh oxygenated heating ventilation system.
Class duration: 90 minutes
Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”
7 Video testimonals on the website.
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VBITES 07 AUBERGINE AND CAULIFLOWER BAKE
VBites of wisdom
Try this wholesome crispy bake, as featured in December’s Cook Vegetarian magazine.
Heather Mills is dreaming of a green Christmas
Serves 6 Ingredients 3 large aubergines 2 medium cauliflowers 4 tbsp soya margarine 4 tbsp plain flour 600ml soya milk Soya cream (optional) 1 block Melting Mozzarella-style Cheezly 1 tsp mustard (optional) White Cheddar-style Cheesly (optional)
I
’m dreaming of a green Christmas. Maybe that sounds corny or just a little sentimental, but doesn’t it prick your conscience about all that wasted food, discarded wrapping paper and cards, and unwanted presents that even the shops can’t sell come Boxing Day? Every year, the bright lights and sparkle of Christmas descend into a heap of plastic packaging, rotting food mountains and broken, unloved gifts. You see it all lined up in the piles of rubbish outside our homes on Boxing Day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a killjoy. I love Christmas. I just don’t think it has to be an annual blowout of excess that even the ancient Romans, with their love of a gluttonous feast, couldn’t rival. We are so lucky in Brighton. The North Laine is “I’ve been pondering overflowing with shops offering ethical and how to reconcile my love environmentally-friendly alternatives to high street of fairy lights and all gifts made by desperate things sparkly with my children in sweatshop factories. And they are a pleasure to visit! There isn’t environmental concerns” a boy (young or old) who wouldn’t want one of Eco Logic Cool’s solar-powered helicopter kits. Their shop on Sydney Street is a haven of gadgets for boys. Then there’s InHouse Space on Gloucester Road with its trendy home accessories all made from sustainable renewable sources or certified organic farming sources. Away from the North Laine, there’s the Fairtrade Fair and Farmers’ Market every third Saturday of the month in the Friends Meeting House on Ship Street, with everything from jewellery, clothes and art to locally-made jams. Why contend with the hustle and bustle of Churchill Square on a Saturday afternoon? Christmas doesn’t have to be a burden on the environment. I’ve been pondering how to reconcile my love of fairy lights and all things sparkly with my environmental concerns, and have found some outside solar-powered Christmas lights. We all love a beautifully decorated Christmas tree, and it’s easy to make sure it’s from a sustainable grower – or, even better, buy one with roots and plant it in the garden afterwards to use again next year. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas in my house without a vegan feast. I’ve put together an amazing menu and you can share it at VBites if you book a Christmas party for work colleagues or friends. And all those unwanted Christmas presents? We’re planning a Swap Shop at VBites in the new year and I’ll keep you posted with the details. Recycling just got a lot more fun! Merry Christmas! Got any unwanted gifts you’d like to take to Heather’s Swap Shop? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Heather’s
DIARY
I
must tell you how Claudio, our head chef, got on when his kitchen was invaded by Hove’s troop of Girl Guides. They soon had him wrapped around their collective proverbial finger. I gave them a talk about food and following a vegan diet, and we discussed the impact of intensive meat and diary farming on the global environment. Claudio and I enjoyed it so much, we’re up for more visits from school classes and clubs. VBites will be open on Christmas Bank Holiday Monday. I’ll be ready for some fresh air and a walk along the seafront by then! I’ll also be starting to think about our New Year New You programme of health and wellbeing that I’m starting in January.
Method: • Cut the aubergines in half and scoop out the insides leaving a shell of around 1 cm flesh. Boil in water until almost tender, then drain. Do not overcook! • Cut the cauliflower into florets. Boil for five minutes (you don’t want them too tender) then drain. • Push enough cauliflower florets inside the hollow aubergine to fill it half way. Set the rest aside. Place the semistuffed aubergines into a baking dish and turn the oven on to heat (180C/350F/Gas 4). • To make the vegan cheese sauce, melt the soya margarine in a pan, take off the heat and stir in the two tbsp plain flour. Return to the heat and slowly add the soya milk (and mustard if liked). • Keep stirring the sauce constantly until it thickens nicely. Then stir in the soya cream (if desired) and a handful of the VBites melting mozzarella. • Pour around half of the cheese sauce into the aubergines. Now fill the aubergines with the rest of the cauliflower florets so they slightly pop out of the top, and pour on the remaining sauce. • Bake in the oven until the sauce is bubbling and crispy. For a crispy topping, sprinkle grated cheddar-style Cheezly on top and grill briefly.
FREE VBites New Ring in the new year with Heather Year’s Eve part y
Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com See website for new winter opening times
Heather’s throwing a New Year’s Eve party at VBites – and everyone’s invited. Entry is free to say thank you for all the fantastic support VBites has had since its summer launch. There’ll be food and music with a special vegan buffet and a DJ. The fun kicks off at 7pm and goes on ’til late. Start the year with a bang at Brighton and Hove’s most fashionable vegan party venue.
Happy New Year from all the staff at VBites
7pm til late, DJ and vegan buffet. And remember to jo in us ever y Saturday and Sunday from 10.30am to 12 .30pm for the popular VBites Ki ds’ Klub
see you – Heather
008_LS454_Bookings/Lette#4F07A1
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08 BOOKINGS | INBOX | CHART
L7 Bookings
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Latest Brighton Download Chart
Speech Debelle
On sale this week…
TOP 10
Ellie Goulding
1 Tenek – State Of Mind
SPEECH DEBELLE + MICACHU AND THE SHAPES
2 Panos Christofi – Only The Night (World Remake)
De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill, 6 March 2010, £12/NUS £10, 01424 229 111, www.dlwp.com Another great double bill, teaming 2009 Mercury winning rapper Speech with utterly eclectic prodigy/ noise connoisseur Micachu.
3 Chaos Borne – I Will 4 Panos Christofi – In My Mind 5 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do...
ELLIE GOULDING
TUNNG Concorde 2, 28 March 2010, £12.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Spectral, pastoral folktronica using everything from seashells to horses teeth on a string.
8 Surrender Monkeys – John Agar Was Right
Digital, 16 April 2010, £10, www.yourfutureisdigital.com/brighton She’s just won the Brits 2010 Critics Choice Award, and also features in the BBC Sound Of 2010 poll. So you’ll be wanting to check out this 23-year-old purveyor of ethereal synth-pop.
9 Freudstein – Misadventure
MICHAEL BOLTON
6 Harper Ash – Dragonfly 7 Chaos Borne – Watching
10 Vortex Generator– Regenerate Quite a bizarre combination of tracks at the top of the chart this week, reflecting the diversity that marks Brighton’s scene. Dancey popster Panos Christofi dominates at two, four and five, though that elusive number one slot goes to those purveyors of classic darkwave electro, Tenek. Joining the battle between Christofi’s light pop beat (though the lyrics suggest otherwise) and Tenek’s digital shadowplay is Chaos Borne’s dense cyber soundscape at three. But who’ll be Christmas Number 1? Go online on 25 December to find out.
11 Freudstein Sister Sleaze
22 Senior Service NY City
12 Tenek If I Should Fall
23 The Mojo Fins In The Script
13 Swarf Parlour Tricks
24 Thunk I Don't Mind
14 Jaybee Brokeback Mountain
25 Spitefire Voices Of Reason
15 Chaos Borne The Moment
26 XamXam Yamma Jatta
16 No Sharp Objects Home
27 North Laine Thinking Hard
17 No Sharp Objects The Wrong Kind Of Love
28 Jim Guittard Survival Mode
18 BreakinBear Rebel In Cheif
29 Jim Guittard The Sun Shines Today
19 La Lunalight Hear No Evil
30 Senior Service Senior Service
20 Senior Service K-Mean 21 The Fooley Mantras Matter Of Time
SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 1 December 2010, £39.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The champion of soft rock and erstwhile defender of the mullet plays from his 18th studio album.
SIMPLY RED Bedgebury Pinetum & Forest, Kent, 12 June, £38, 01842 814612, www.forestry.gov.uk/music Mick Hucknall and crew play one of a series of dates in beautiful woodland settings.
LEISURE SOCIETY De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill, 20 February 2010, £10, 01424 229 111, www.dlwp.com Ivor Novello-nominated band who play orchestal folk pop fuelled by pounding rhythms and ukuleles.
PORTICO QUARTET + SWEET BILLY PILGRIM De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill, 19 March 2010, £10, 01424 229 111, www.dlwp.com Melodious post-jazz and soulful, banjo-assisted indie from this double bill of Mercury nominees.
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Reading your L7 column on job losses at Lloyds [News, L7, 453] I was inspired to write a christmas message. The Bishop says there will be more reflection around Christmas dinner tables this year. The Bishop could be right and if he is this is no bad thing. One of the luxuries we seem to have stopped affording ourselves is time to reflect – on our actions, their consequences, the positive and negative experiences in our lives. What is more, we can do this in one of the best cities in the country. It's a pity it takes more than 350 job losses at Lloyds and over 120 redundancies at Sussex University to persuade us into that state of mind. We are forced into fast spin, broken concentration and snap decisions every day both at work (if we're lucky enough to still have a job) and in our leisure. The bankers and the vice chancellors who run our banks and universities award themselves massive salaries. Michael Farthing, the vice chancellor of the University of Sussex, gets £227,000 per year. Let the residents of Brighton and Hove reflect on this one example of inequality in wealth and give their active support to all those in both workplaces who are fighting back. As Marx once said: “Philosophers have only interpreted the world, the point is to change it.” Hove resident, via email
[Re Columnist Idol: Andrew Allen, L7 449]... Whether written in three minutes or three days, this column was worth every second of its creative and clever construction. A natural columnist. Miss C, by email This column brightened my day, it’s so nice to read an article that doesn't gloss over the practical struggles of trying to make it in the creative world whilst keeping a roof over your head and (possibly Lidl-purchased) food in your belly. Fizz, by email [Re Will Young review, this issue, at www.thelatest.co.uk since 7 December].... A totally amazing concert. Will just gets better and better. His live performances really are perfect, his singing exquisite and his audience interaction such good fun – he really draws the crowd into each and every performance. K Jenkins, via www.thelateast.co.uk Absolutely fantastic evening. Who else can produce faultless live vocals while jumping around the stage? If you lie in the bath to hear him you miss the beautiful stage lighting, spontaneous fun interaction with the band and even better Mr Young’s sexy wriggles!! P Page, via www.thelatest.co.uk You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
009_LS454_celebcity
12/11/09
12:10 PM
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CELEBCITY 09
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Living it up in London with Helen Mirren, Sarah Harding and Patricia Hodge; plus local video shoot
Women on top L
ast Friday I whipped up to London to attend the annual Women In Film And TV Awards at the Hilton Park Lane. I was a guest of the headline sponsor, one of our clients, De Lane Lea. They provide sound and mixing on some of the big blockbuster movies including the Harry Potter and Bond films. The CEO is a chap called Huw Penallt-Jones, who lives in Seaford of all places! After traffic and train delays I Claudia Winkleman arrived at the pre-event VIP cocktail party to meet up with Huw and the Shadow Culture Minister, Ed Vasey, plus the event organisers. The place was pretty much wall to wall TV celeb, all enjoying a glass of fizz. I spotted Strictly... presenter Claudia Winkleman, actor Adrian Lester, Girls Aloud member Sarah Harding and top telly star Michelle Collins. I also grabbed a word with Huw (CEO of De Lane actress Patricia Hodge – currently Lea), Ed, Shadow on our screens in the hilarious BBC Culture Minister 2 comedy Miranda. I asked Patricia what it was like being back on the small screen. She said she was loving all the attention from school kids who all love the show and keep coming up to her and asking for her autograph!
PELIROCCO ROCKS New singing sensation, Leddra Chapman has shot the video for her debut single in Brighton boutique hotel Pelirocco. The hotel was the backdrop for the video of ‘A Little Easier’, the haunting new single taken from her first album, Telling Tales, released on 28 December. Leddra is described by Music Week as 'filling a similar space to early Alanis Morissette and Joni Mitchell'. She started playing and making music from the age of 12 when she picked up one of her dad's acoustic guitars and wrote her first song!
SPOTTED! Flamboyant interior designe r Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowe n filming the intro to his new ITV 1 sho w in the Gresham Blake store in Bon d Street. Lawrence, I am told, is usin g the shop to highlight one of his pas sions in life – great tailoring!
Hosting the awards was the fantastically acerbic Jo Brand, who managed to take the michael out of most of the room in the first five minutes. The awards are for women who have provided an outstanding contribution to the film and TV industry, from screen Sarah Harding writers to music designers. They all got a much deserved gong. But the one that everybody was waiting for was the lifetime achievement award, given to the actress Dame Helen Mirren. We were treated to a special film showing some of the best bits of her work to date, including her incredible Oscar winning portrayal of the Queen. Handing the award over was her old mate and lovey personified, the actor John Hurt. We can of course see Helen on the big screen next Spring in the new version of Brighton Rock – can’t wait!
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com Dame Helen Mirren
10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday during December. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
010_LS454_BB 1p
10/12/09
10:13
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HALF PRICE SALE On all treatments until 31st January
Beautique Brighton 14 Ship Street Brighton BN1 1AD 01273 711077 www.beautiquebrighton.com
011_LS454_interview
12/10/09
2:03 PM
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L7 INTERVIEW 11
TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE Glen Ferris talks to Spike Jonze, director of Where The Wild Things Are, about bringing everyone’s favourite monsters to the big screen
I
t’s one of the best-loved picture books of all time, selling over 19 million copies and etching its strange twilight world, in which a little boy is adopted by a kingdom of giant monsters, into the imaginations of generations of children. But when director Spike Jonze decided to set about turning Maurice Sendak’s 1963 classic, Where The Wild Things Are, into a feature-length film, he faced one fundamental difficulty: the original is only 10sentences long. True to his indie sensibilities, however, Jonze (whose 1999 film Being John Malkovich became an instant cult classic) has not only created a movie that captures the spirit of the original story but enrolled the help of acclaimed American author Dave Eggers to expand the script, exploring the heightened emotions of a lonely young lad. We spoke to the director about the trials and tribulations of his walk on the wild side. How did you become involved with the film? I was lucky enough to know Maurice Sendak and talked to him about doing the movie. Initially, I was really apprehensive of it because it’s a book I love so much and I didn’t want to add something to it just to be able to make a movie. But at a certain point it hit me what the movie could be and I started talking to Maurice about how I wanted to write it with somebody and I suggested Dave Eggers – and, luckily, Maurice loves Dave’s work. The book has been a massive influence on generations of children; what do you hope people will get from your version of the tale? I think anybody can take away whatever they feel connected to or not connected to in the movie. The one thing I hope is that there would be some conversations and that a parent might actually be able to talk to their kid in a different way and ask their kid what they think and not worry about how they’re going to turn out, but be curious as to who they are. Adapting a popular book is often hard enough, but it must have been even tougher stretching a 20-page story to feature length? Dave Eggers and I approached it at the beginning by not over-thinking it too much. We tried to write it
really intuitively and just write scenes. Later, it became a little more laborious, in terms of editing and shaping it, but we tried to just approach it the way a kid's intuition approaches things. My other movies are much more analytical or cerebral but, with this one, because the main character was nine, I wanted to turn the cerebral part of my brain off. Did the intuitive approach to the screenplay also carry over into the shooting of the film? We approached it just as intuitively. It wasn’t necessarily an easy shoot, we made a series of decisions early on by shooting with real liveaction creatures on location [CGI effects were added later on] and with a boy in the middle of it all. That was a very challenging way to shoot it but once we made those decisions, we just
“We tried to approach making the film the way a kid’s intution approaches things – to turn the cerebral part of my brain off”
agreed to take whatever weather, lighting and wildness that came with that way of shooting. We tried to keep the whole film in the spirit of a kid and tried not to put our adult stuff into that. That being said, we had some tantrums along the way, because the shoot was so stressful and difficult. The Wild Things themselves are giant puppets built at the Jim Henson workshop and inhabited by actors. Why did you take that approach? I had always wanted to do the film live action. I wanted to maintain the charm and feeling, because in the book the Wild Things are cuddly, but also dangerous. But I also wanted it to feel like they really lived in this environment, and give them faces and eyes that could be emotive in a complex way. And I wanted Max to be able to hug them, touch them, play with them... The film strikes quite a dark tone, were you ever concerned that it may be too scary for kids in the audience? We were just trying to make a movie that feels true to what it feels like, at times, to be nine years old. I think, as you’re growing up, your emotions are just as deep as they are when you’re an adult. Your ability to feel lonely, longing, confused or angry is just as deep. We don’t feel things more as we get older. We just have a better understanding of how to navigate those feelings and a better sense of how to navigate our relationships and separate our emotions from them. I also don’t think of this as a dark movie. It has moments that are intense, for sure. Where The Wild Things Are is showing across Brighton cinemas now. See Film for screening times. Glen Ferris is Managing Editor of Screenrush (www.screenrush.co.uk)
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HOLIDAY ON ICE
FREE THE SPIRIT This year’s Holiday On Ice spectacular combines the glamour and glitz that we have all come to love with a new sense of coherent artistry, finds Andrew Kay
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ut of a sea of cobalt blue mist, and in an unusually cool and serene mood, the new Holiday On Ice show opens. Spirit is clearly going to take us once again on a journey and the clean simplicity of the opening number makes a refreshing start. The lights clear, the mist fades, and we see perhaps the most extravagant set from the Holiday On Ice team to date: a snaking structure in the sky, a vapour trail, the Milky Way, a host of lights and planets beneath which the blue costumed cast execute the precision routines we have come to expect. But there is a clarity to the staging and a simplicity to the costumes. The palette of colours at work is cleaner and the resultant impact more intense. ‘A New Day Has Begun’ is the lyric and perhaps the thought. The next dance is to a Take That number; the colours are vibrant hot reds – no wait – it’s blue, then red again. The lighting is usually good but this is amazing with precision cues and once more a clarity of concept. In the past, Holiday On Ice have attempted to pull off bold new looks and it has perhaps been misjudged, but here we seem to have balance. In the next sequence we are back to blue, but it is now sprinkled with white lights and the ice fills slowly with monolithic structures – or are they giant pine trees? – through which white-clad skaters with trailing silky capes wind. The imagery is powerful; the skating is elegant. Slowly the monoliths reconfigure at the back of the ice and four skaters remain. The mood is still calm and the dance, although complex and the moves dramatic, leaves the atmosphere effectively chill. The monoliths return and with it the mood swings to Celtic. Robin Cousins, Holiday On Ice’s choreographer and artistic director on Spirit,
clearly takes his choreographic influences from traditional Irish dance steps with reel formations and side-stepping leaps. It’s not River Dance, but it has certainly taken some of that and woven a new ice form into it. Once more we are in a sea of deep blue with birdsong and swelling strings and the ice is covered in a sea of billowing silk that clears to reveal giant water lilies. The score is classical, sweeping into soft pop, ‘A Taste Of Honey’, and dancers operate frog puppets that mime the backing vocals around the ice. It’s odd but no odder than we have come to expect, and it works too, as a solo dancer spins her way around the arena. Again, the costumes are less Las Vegas and far more ballet. Back into the blue and we have an aerial act with dragonflies circling the ice and then the space beneath the stars above. The costumes now glow in UV light but with a restraint that we have perhaps not seen before. It is a welcome tempering of the ice spectacular form that, whilst
satisfying the die-hard fans, will also appeal to a new generation of ice dance fans. A voice comes over the speakers and the dancers are now flower heads in fuchsia pink and ice blue. The mood is calm, the dance gentle, softly rhythmic, swaying in patterns across the ice, executing complex configurations with a graceful ease. We’re seeing the lifts, the spins and the difficult jumps but in a far more cohesive and balletic way.
Suddenly the ice is all black and white patterns and Oriental warriors with kendo-style swords take to the ice. The dance plays out in flickering strobe lighting and then huge blazes of white close to the ice that catch the red flashes in their costumes. It’s ritualistic, stylised and compelling: a dance drama in which a warrior is exposed. Left on the ice alone the scene changes to glowing red and she is joined by Oriental priests with the huge costumes we have come to expect from a Holiday On Ice production, but once more done with a far cleaner sense of colour and design and with a lighting palette to compliment them. Tiny skaters appear with white kites depicting huge herons that circle the set. It is simplicity itself but more powerful for it once again. The kites disappear to be replaced by a giant dragon held aloft by dancers in simple black.
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HOLIDAY ON ICE 13 A lone dancer remains jumping and spinning alone on the ice, swooping low until joined by two comic black lions. It’s not a clown routine though, and once more shows a new elegance and sophisticated vision for the ice show. It’s totally entertaining, yes, but not cheesy. The blue returns and a pair of skaters dance a duet to an oriental pop ballad. It’s time for them to show off their most difficult moves – the ones that remind us that the majority of the cast are international standard ice dance champions and medal winners. The audience lap it up as the lifts get more extreme and seemingly more and more daring. The athleticism of these stars is undeniable. Without me noticing, the rear of the ice has filled with skaters in blood red Mandarin costumes and the rest of the company return – lions, dragon, soloists and all – for the act one finale.
“No Holiday On Ice Show would be complete without this kind of spectacle” Act two opens in almost total dark with two ribbons of deep purple light and the snaking set flickering red and blue. A spotlight opens on a solo dancer in an Anna Mae Wong-style costume but the oriental tone soon shifts to a modern Western idiom, mirroring a clash of traditional Eastern ideals and modern Western ones. There is nearly always a pop sequence but this year the show achieves a far more ‘street’ look than I have seen before as they dance to ‘Spiritual Revolution’. The solo male dancer in jeans, T-shirt and open shirt is a believable representation of youth and not a twinkly chorus boy. Cousins’ choreography too has a simplicity and a relaxed feel as he is joined by a group of ‘mates’. It has an air of boy band that we have not seen before in an ice show from Holiday On Ice. This is the spirit of companionship. From here we are led into a little girl-powered R’n’B raunch and, again, dancers in believable club wear. ‘It Makes Me Wanna Get Down And Pray’ leads to a number in which the boys meet the girls. I even spot a few steps that conjure images of Jerome Robbins’ classic moves for West Side Story, then a shifting pattern of close formation bodies conjures ‘Rhythm Of Life’ from Sweet Charity. They may be subliminal influences but Cousins does it with a great deal of panache. The stage clears and blue light returns for ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’. This is a tribute to the spirit of friendship and not the standard boy-girl love story that we might expect. Even the gospel-styled rendition of the song is impressive and the company’s principals shine as they perform feat after feat. Darkness follows and sweeping classical strings. The snake in the sky is deep blue and, out of the dark, native American-styled dancers fill the ice. Bird like, they complete intricate formations as a native priest figure looks on. “Fly like an eagle,” the voice sings, “let the spirit carry you,” and so the cycle of elemental themes becomes complete. Next, warrior dancers take to the ice, perhaps reflecting the spirit of bravery. Suddenly, black-out. Giant glowing dream catchers swoop through the dark and in a burst of flame a trapeze artists sails up on a long red ribbon. We often see an acrobatic act in the ice show but this one is an amazing feat of shear bodily strength and power with one, then two, figures suspended above the ice. It’s hard to
imagine how the man can support himself in such positions let alone the weight of his partner as she moves in and out his body and the ribbons. The natives re-appear and I hope that we are ready to see the inevitable wheel. The number of skaters on the ice suggest that, and the rhythmic native drums add to the expectation. It’s not without humour either as the steps mimic the Hollywood style of war dancing of Western movies. Cousins sees every wheel as a new challenge and this is no exception. Three parallel ranks of circling skaters slowly move out to form one, those at the centre barely stepping, those on the outer edges skating for their lives. Finally the thunder claps and their rain dance is complete. There is shimmering silver light now as the score shifts to ‘It’s A fabulous Night For A Moondance’ and the principals take to the ice as a team once more. It’s a finger-clicking number, elegant and cool with a full big band sound of stabbing horns, bluesy sax and Hollywood strings. ‘Your love Keeps Lifting Me’ starts up and we get the full sparkling Holiday On Ice look of sequins and silk and spangles as the entire chorus high-kick their way across the ice – the
boys in an elegant take on tail coats, the girls in silver and black dresses with huge back panels that I know will light up – and I am not disappointed. No Holiday On Ice Show would be complete without this kind of spectacle and it all ends with a volley of fireworks. As a Holiday On Ice fan I look forward each year to the new show but sometimes with trepidation. The skating is, of course, always superb, but sometimes creatively it lacks focus. Not this year. This year Holiday On Ice has a grandeur and maturity that will guarantee its place in the next decade of the century. Holiday on Ice, The Brighton Centre, 7–24 January 2010 Tickets from £14.50 (adults), children £10, 0844 847 1538 www.brightoncentre.co.uk
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22 Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 676 796 Mon – Sat 10am to 6pm, Sun 12pm to 4pm info@specsopticians.co.uk www.specsopticians.co.uk
ÂŁ50 off complete glasses until 5th January Terms and conditions apply. Coupon must be presented at time of sale and cannot be used retrospectively.
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SNAP SHOTS 15
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Peter Pan star Harry Francis
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This is the first time I have had to fly on stage. It is magic. I wish I could fly around everyday, it would be completely carbon neutral! I am so happy to be in Brighton because my grandfather Raymond Francis – Inspector Lockhart in No Hiding Place – lived here and has a bus named after him
”
17 year old Harry Francis rehearsing for his role as Peter Pan in the Theatre Royal’s Christmas show, which runs until 3 January. Harry has just returned from a tour of the UK performing in West Side Story, and in the new year starts another tour with Hairspray.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night NOW BOOKING CHRISTMAS PARTIES & DINNERS CALL ANGI ON 01273 687171
manchester street, brighton
you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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>THOUSANDS MORE PROPERTIES AT www.latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
BIKRAM YOGA. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT?
What’s your Climate Connection? We are looking for ten Brighton & Hove residents to share their stories for an exciting new climate change project. Climate Connections’ aim is to link local stories with those of people around the world, sharing their experiences, challenges and responses to climate change. Are you involved on education, prevention, impact or adaptation to climate change? You will have the opportunity to be featured in a city-wide photographic exhibition. Please send us your story (150 words max) by Friday 29 January 2010. We will let you know if you have been chosen by Friday 5 February 2010. More info at www.bpec.org You can send your story by post to Climate Connections BPEC, 39–41 Surrey Street, Brighton, BN1 3PB or by email to gpaolo.boldrini@bpec.org For more information please call Paolo on 01273 766610
Rogelio and Severio from Bolivia stand in front of the glacier which locals fear is melting so rapidly, that in decades to come they will have no water for their farms. Climate Connections is a partnership project with Brighton Peace and Environment Centre, Brighton & Hove City Council and Oxfam GB.
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BRIGHTON CHRISTMAS MARKET 17
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The Brighton Christmas Market is the perfect place for last-minute gifts and festive family fun
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et in the mood for Christmas as the organisers behind The Lanes Market join forces with SMB Events to present Brighton’s biggest and best Christmas market at the Brighton Centre on Sunday 20 December. The Brighton Christmas Market is an exclusive one-day shopping extravaganza for all the family, open from 10.30am to 4pm. Male visitors can shop for quality engineered German watches, cool clothing, gardening accessories and beautiful gifts for loved ones. Visitors in need of some pre-party pampering can relax in the Wellbeing and Indulgence Zone, and kids can meet Santa and his elves in his magical grotto. One lucky visitor to Santa’s grotto will win a Champneys voucher worth £100 – another great reason not to miss this spectacular event. The market will offer an indulgent array of Italian delicacies, organic childrenswear, fabulous jewellery, art, ceramics, 1950s-style prom dresses, floral decorations, leather handbags, scenic flight experiences, fresh coffee, nostalgic and award-winning confectionery, books and toys for children, as well as stylish gym and snow-wear. Entry to the Brighton Christmas Market is free and visitors can also enjoy carol singers, festive face-painting and a children’s arts and crafts area. The George White Photography team will be based in Santa’s grotto, offering family photographs to take away on the day – perfect for that lastminute gift for someone special. The market takes place on the opening day of the ‘Heart’ Winter Ice Rink, which has become one of the county’s major seasonal attractions, welcoming thousands of visitors who come to skate and spectate. Brighton Christmas Market, The Brighton Centre, Sunday 20 December, 10am–4.30pm, free entry, www.smbevents.co.uk
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GOODMAN MORRIS
Timeless jewels Beautifully designed jewellery and exclusive collections for that ideal Christmas gift from Goodman Morris
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his Christmas, Goodman Morris present a fantastic range of work from exciting new designers and inspirational gift ideas for men and women. Here you will find gorgeous, richly enamelled cufflinks by Codis Maya, twinkly chandelier earrings by Pomegranate, and an array of cocktail rings – all perfect for the party season. Goodman Morris are pleased to be the exclusive stockist in Brighton of the acclaimed Danish jewellery house Georg Jensen. Georg Jensen is a fabulous addition to their designers and also sits beautifully alongside their own work. There is a great selection from the Georg Jensen collections in store, including beautiful contemporary silver for men and women, which will make the perfect Christmas gift. Goodman
Georg Jensen Vivianna Watch, stainless steel and brilliant cut diamonds 0.40cts £2,200.00
Morris also stock the versatile and stylish Fusion Collection, comprising of interlocking stacking rings, bangles and pendants in 18ct yellow, red and white gold set with diamonds. This December there is a first at Goodman Morris: watches. There are two iconic watch collections chosen from Georg Jensen. Designed by the understated Danish designer Henning Koppel and legendary Swedish designer Vivianna Torun Bülow-Hübe, these pieces are clean, beautiful and timeless in design. If that’s not enough to tempt you, Goodman Morris also offer mince pies and bubbly in store to ease your decision making! Goodman Morris, 48 Market Street, Brighton, East Sussex BN1 1HH, 01273 738784, www.goodmanmorris.com Georg Jensen Dewdrop Earrings, sterling silver and rock crystal £250.00
Georg Jensen Tortoise Cufflinks, sterling silver £295.00
Goodman Morris Splash Rings, sterling silver and citrine, blue topaz, amethyst £440.00
Georg Jensen Alliance Bangle, sterling silver £350.00
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GOODMAN MORRIS 19 Georg Jensen Zephyr Earrings, sterling silver £210.00
Goodman Morris Baby Heart Pendant, 18ct white gold and brilliant cut diamonds £995.00
Georg Jensen Fusion Rings, 18ct yellow, white and rose gold and brilliant cut diamonds form £700.00
Georg Jensen Zephyr Bracelet, sterling silver £250.00
Georg Jensen Lina Earrings, 18ct yellow gold and brilliant cut diamonds £1,350.00
Georg Jensen Koppel Chronograph Watch, stainless steel and calfskin strap £850.00 Goodman Morris Harmony Chocolate Eternity Ring, 18ct rose gold and chocolate diamonds £1,935.00
Goodman Morris Spinel Ring, 22ct gold and spinel £1260.00
Goodman Morris Green Tourmaline Ring, 18ct yellow gold and green tourmaline £1250.00
Goodman Morris Aquamarine Ring, 18ct yellow gold and aquamarine £895.00
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016_017_LS454_Last Min Gifts
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GIFT GUIDE 21
❄ ❄ ❄ ❄❄❄ Guide ❄❄❄ ❄ Gift
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last minute
gifts
Still stuck for gift ideas? It’s not too late to shop for these fantastic Christmas presents
Art Republic ‘Right Hand Red’ signed open edition art print by Static. £25 unframed (a wide range of framing options available). Art Republic, 13 Bond Street, Brighton, BN1 1RD, 01273 724829
Louis Roederer Flute Set: Gold presentation gift set containing 1 x 75cl bottle of Brut premier and two flutes, £55.
Louis Roederer Silver Ice Bucket Gift Set: White presentation gift box containing a stunning silver plated ice bucket and 1 x 75cl bottle of Brut Premier, £125 Armand De Brignac Ace of Spades The Champagne in the Gold Bottle! Presented in a black lacquer case with a pewter Ace of Spades logo. Price £235
The Toast of Brighton & Hove The Toast of Brighton & Hove, 40 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FN, 01273 208180, www.toastchampagne.co.uk
North Laine Photography Going home for Christmas? Shot by Jonathon Towler, this is just one of 57 great images found in the Brighton and Hove Calendar 2010. £5. North Laine Photography Gallery, Upstairs at Snoopers Paradise, 7–8 Kensington Gardens/and NLP Xmas stall, East 1, Churchill Square, (30 yards in from the entrance by Borders) www.brightonphotography.com
Love And Patience
Your loved ones will adore receiving this unique silver blank price tag pendant for him or her to wear as a token of your love, friendship or simply a thank you. £19.99 www.loveandpatience.com 01273 411487
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GIFT GUIDE
Angel Food Bakery Delicious cupcakes for Christmas, available in a variety of flavours including gingerbread and mince pie (£1.75 each) and gift boxed when you buy six. Angel Food Bakery, 20 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, BN1 1HB, 01273 208404, www.angelfoodbakery.co.uk
Treatment Rooms The Treatment rooms, 21 New Road, Brighton, BN1 1UF, 01273 818444, www.thetreatmentrooms.com
Dan Tester
Enrich Body Duo, £42.50
The Random Book of... Michael features facts, figures, stats and trivia on legions of recordbreakers, record losers, actors, singers, sportsmen, historical figures, the famous and infamous, felons, inventors, rulers, heartthrobs, politicians and scientists called Michael. Andrew, Christopher, David, James, John, Matthew, Paul, Richard and Robert available too! £9.99 www.stripepublishing.co.uk Gift vouchers available for all values
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 25
Food & Drink Andrew Kay escapes to the country for a night at The Star in Alfriston
Starry night N
estling in the valley that divides the South Downs, Alfriston has to be one of the prettiest and least spoilt villages in Sussex. It’s a tourist magnet all year round, popular for walkers and for lovers of culture with the nearby Charleston Farm House and Glyndebourne. By day it can be bustling but after dark, and it gets very dark, it has a ghostly quiet and sense of a time gone by. We had motored over late one Friday afternoon for a spot of R&R, staying at the historic Star – the core of which was built in the 13th century. It is picture postcard pretty too, all timbers, low ceilings and roaring log fires. The floors are brick paved, a feature continued in the modern annexe, as are the flint walls so loved here in Sussex.
“The star was a very fine hot carrot mousse wrapped in ribbons of courgette that managed to be both dainty and tasty” After checking into our comfortable and refreshingly non boutique-style room we headed down to the bar where we sat by one of the roaring fires with pre-dinner drinks. The restaurant manager kindly brought through the menus and we settled in for a relaxing time. The hotel offers a wide range of facilities and is popular for weddings and conference meetings. It is clear to see this when you enter the dining room, which is large enough for big functions but perhaps would benefit from a rethink of the space for less formal dining. That said, it was very warm and welcoming and, I have to say, spotlessly clean. The menu is shortish, always a good sign and there is attention to detail. Mr R chose to start with a crab risotto. It was packed with flavour and the perfect creamy soupy texture that so many places fail to achieve. It did look a touch bland but it tasted great. I was won over by an excellent ham hock terrine served with piccalilli. The terrine was studded with capers – a favourite ingredient of mine – and masses of lean shredded ham that was tasty without being salty. The piccalilli was good but slightly lacking in acidity but all in all a good dish.
Mr R moved on to rib-eye steak which, although ordered medium rare, was closer to well done. That said, he ate the lot. The chips were arranged Jenga style and tasty, but sadly the jus was served in a small jug with no handle that was too hot to pick up; a style decision that did not pay off. I chose the roast loin of pork which was really delicious although I would suggest that it would be better billed as a roast pork loin chop. The gratin of purple potatoes was very nice indeed, despite being oddly purple, and the carrot and baby turnip were tip top. But the star was a very fine hot carrot mousse wrapped in ribbons of courgette that managed to be both dainty and tasty at the same time. I loved that. Mr R could not be held back from a chocolate fondant, and he was right too, it delivered on all levels. My rum and raisin parfait, which was recommended by the waiter, was equally delicious and a tuille dessert spoon displayed the chef’s pastry skills brilliantly. We retired to the library for coffee before taking a short walk down the high street and then off to bed. The next morning breakfast was a civilised affair with the Telegraph crossword, a full English for him and poached smoked haddock and poached egg for me – oh, and lots of toast and marmalade. The Star is surprisingly large behind the timbered frontage but manages to retain a great deal of style. It has a relaxed country inn feel to it and a warm and friendly staff for whom nothing seemed too much trouble. After years of being run in a very corporate manner it seems now to be shedding those drab shackles and being allowed to loosen its stays and breathe a little. If they continue on the same path then this could become an absolute gem. Already they are planning special events for 2010: the reinstated walled garden will be licensed for weddings and civil partnerships as well as the rooms inside and there will be lots of other fun themed events. A quick look at their wedding packages – don’t get any silly ideas – revealed them to be more than competitive – bordering on bargain I would hazard, for such a pretty and well run venue. The Star, High Street, Alfriston, East Sussex BN26 5TA 01323 870495 www.thestaralfriston.co.uk
Have you been to The Star? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
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>THOUSANDS MORE PROPERTIES AT www.latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
Enjoy Christmas at
The Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori (Established 1987)
Fabulous (four course) Christmas Day Family Lunch Papadom and Chutney
Starters (choose one) Chicken Chat, Onion Bahji, Tandoori Chicken, Chicken Tikka, Meat or Vegetable Samosa Side Dishes Bombay Potato, Onion Bahji, Mushroom Bahji, Chana Masalla, Sag Aloo
Elizabethan Special Main Course
(choose one) Served with Pilau Rice Badami Kurma Chicken, Murgh Kurchan, Elizabethan Special Biryani, Murgh Masalla, Fish Tikka, Chicken Tikka Balti (with nan), Elizabethan Special Jalfrezi.
Dessert and Coffee
£19.99 per person (Drinks not included, King Prawn dishes £2.50 extra)
Special Mouthwatering Dish Kulchi Lamb Full four course meal for four persons. Choose one starter & one side dish from the above list. Price includes a bottle of house wine (white or red)
£29.99 per person (Advance notice required)
130/136 Old London Road, Patcham, Brighton, BN1 8YA ADVANCED BOOKING ESSENTIAL ON 01273 507075 (10% service charge)
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HOTLIST 27
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Metrodeco
Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Metrodeco is Brighton’s only 1930s tea salon and art deco furniture shop. One of Kemp Town's newest venues, this Parisian-style cafe has already gained a big reputation for its cream teas, home-baked cakes, sandwiches and bespoke blends. But the real gourmet treat is their delightful afternoon tea. Take time to browse the basement floor of beautiful furnishings and gifts. Party bookings taken and dogs welcome. Metrodeco, 38 Upper St James’s St. BN2 1JN. 07956 978115, www.metro-deco.com
Barney’s
The Plough Inn
Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
New to the Golden Lion Group, the Plough Inn at Rottingdean is a lovely, cosy pub offering great beer, fine wines and excellent homemade food lunch & evenings. Favourites include the steak and Guinness pie and Mediterranean vegetable lasagne. Vicarage Lane, Rottingdean, 01273 390635
Bardsley’s
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people.
Chimney House The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese Gars Restaurant
winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian
This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
Donatello
French
Fat Leo
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle
9 Bar Café
The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
028_LS454_Ads
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>THOUSANDS MORE PROPERTIES AT www.latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
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STAGE 29
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December> Pic: Pete Jones
Stage
Get hooked
A tale of fairies, pirates and enchantment at Theatre Royal Brighton this Christmas
FAIRY TALE FROSTING
Jon-Stuart Annett (Kay) and Alice O’Hanlon (Gerda)
Theatre Royal Brighton’s Christmas musical spectacular is Peter Pan. This reworking of JM Barrie’s classic tale carries the audience away to an enchanted land of Lost Boys, mermaids, fairies and pirates. Children of all ages (and adults who never grew up) will be enthralled by the antics of dastardly Captain Hook, the flying feats of Peter, the mischievous Tinkerbell and the cunning crocodile. Spectacular sets are designed by internationally renowned theatre designer Terry Parsons. Peter Pan, (sponsored by Robinsons), Theatre Royal, Brighton, until 3 January 2010, tickets from £15, Box Office 08448 717 650 (booking fee); Groups Hotline 08448 717 617; Access Bookings 08448 717 677 (booking fee), www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton
Classic Hans Christian Andersen from Chichester Festival Youth Theatre
C
hichester Festival Youth Theatre are presenting the world premiere of Bryony Lavery and Jason Carr’s new musical adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen from 16–31 December as their Christmas family offering. Originally told in seven separate stories, The Snow Queen begins with the tale of a magic malevolent mirror which can change everything from good to bad. The story follows a little girl called Gerda who loses her best friend, a small boy called Kay. Join Gerda and Granny Snow on their epic journey following the Northern Lights to the Snow Queen’s Ice Palace. Along the way, they travel through the beautiful bewitched flower garden and down an ice-packed river, meeting a prince and princess, a
rambunctious robber girl and a group of enchanted grannies and grandads from Finland and Lapland. Over 70 young people aged 10–19 will combine collective storytelling, movement, music and dance to present the completely new musical version of Hans Christian Andersen’s classic tale, with the help of a pair of red kicking boots, some pots of honey and some geriatric magic. This new adaptation, from the award-winning playwright Bryony Lavery, has been commissioned by Chichester Festival Theatre (CFT) for their annual Youth Theatre Christmas show, with original music and lyrics by Jason Carr. This follows their successful collaboration on 2008’s festive show, A Christmas Carol, the success of which has led to it being produced at Birmingham Repertory Theatre this winter.
Stagelistings > Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December > CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk The Snow Queen Presented by Chichester Festival Youth Theatre. A new musical adaptation of the Hans Christian classic. >16–31 Dec, various show times, £8.50–23, see website for details BRIGHTON CENTRE 01273 290131 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Holiday On Ice: Spirit WIth awardwinning sets, dramatic scene changes and a dazzling collection of over 350 extravagant costumes. Artistic Director Robin Cousins combines the four elements with global traditions and modern rhythms. >7 –24 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details
BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE, www.the-little.co.uk Dracula Liz Lochhead's new adaptation of Bram Stoker's iconic tale. >Until 19 Dec, 7.45pm, £7.50 BRIGHTON DOME, CONCERT HALL 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org Chicago: The Musical Multi awardwinning musical features legendary choreographer Bob Fosse’s big numbers ‘All That Jazz’ and ‘Razzle Dazzle’. Stars Gary Wilmot as Billy Flynn >16 Dec–20 Dec, Wed–Thu 7.30pm, Fri 5.30pm & 8.30pm, Sat 5pm & 8.30pm, Sun 3pm, £17.50–£31.50. matinees, various prices, see website for details
The Snow Queen benefits from being supported by CFT’s excellent professional creative team. Dale Rooks, Youth Theatre Director, will co-direct the production with CFT’s trainee director Abigail Graham. Dale has directed the Christmas show at CFT for the last six years
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 https://tickets.hawth.co.uk/public/ Cinderella Julian Clary adds a touch of sparkle to the The Hawth’s pantomime starring as Dandini. Also starring Vicky Longley (Genie In The House) as Cinderella, and Grease Is The Word winner Danny Bayne as the Prince. >Until 3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Jack And The Beanstalk Classic pantomime starring Emma Barton as Jack. >Until 10 Jan, 6/7pm with 2/2.30pm matinees, various prices, see website for details THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Peter Pan Fly off to Never Never Land
as well as running weekly Youth Theatre sessions and summer promenade performances. The Snow Queen, Chichester Festival Theatre, 16–31 December, £8.50–£23, 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk
with an all-dancing extravaganza.
>Until 3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE, 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Robinson Crusoe Classic pantomime fun, starring Coronation Street’s Tracy Shaw. > Until 3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE, 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Cinderella End-of-the-pier traditional panto stars Todd Carty as Buttons. > 10 Dec–3 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December >
> Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December >
Eclectica Eclectica features a wide range of work from emerging young talent to established international names. View iconic portraits of ’60s and ’70s stars from Fleet Street veteran David Steen, to the beautiful colour work of up-and-coming young photographers Samuel Hicks and Morgan Silk, and the sumptuous glamour of Slim Aarons and the American high society. Eclectica, Crane Kalman, Kensington Gardens, 01273 697096. Until 31 December
Jewels On The Nile
BURNING THE CLOCKS Celebrate the shortest day and look forward to lighter evenings at the annual family solstice event organised by Community Arts group Same Sky. This spectacular event combines a stunning fire show and firework display. The torchlight procession of handmade paper and willow lanterns is the highlight, with the lanterns then being burned in a massive pyre on the beach to celebrate Winter Solstice. The lantern procession leaves New Road at 6.30pm, proceeds down North Street, along East Street, arriving at Madeira Drive at 7.15pm and finishing at 8pm. Make your own pyramid lantern and join the parade. Lantern kits are available with all the materials and instructions for making and participating. Kits are available from Same Sky and the Royal Pavilion Shop. Burning The Clocks, Madeira Drive, Brighton, 21 December, 6.30pm, www.samesky.co.uk
Events highlights 19–20 DECEMBER Brighton’s Got Talent Fun-filled, festive weekend workshop for children packed full of singing, dancing, acting and more. Sunday night plays host to an evening performance to showcase the weekend’s efforts. Brighton College, Eastern Road, Brighton, 10am–4pm, £65 per child per weekend, 01273 704200
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19 DECEMBER Christmas Fair Trade Market A Christmas market with a difference. Up to 30 local artists present their current pieces at affordable prices. Popular annual event, with
To advertise here costs only £20 Call Marie Viviani now!
01273 818150 ext 102
Abu Simbel, Temple of Ramesses II, 1901
A selection of photography, paintings and etchings produced and captured in tourist albums during the 19th and early 20th centuries, offering insight into the appeal of Ancient Egypt. Amongst the travellers were Charles and Ellen Thomas-Stanford of Preston Manor, Brighton. Jewels On The Nile, Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900. Until March 2010
Jane Ling Brighton-based artist and art teacher Jane Ling exhibits a selection of portraits in soft pastel in black and white on paper and canvas at new coffee house 33. A dynamic and graceful collection featuring both men and women in reflective poses, classical in style, yet with a contemporary feel. Jane Ling: Portraits, coffee@33, 33 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, until 24 December
refreshments and free admission. Friends Meeting House, Ship Street, Brighton, 11am–4pm, 01273 770258
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20 DECEMBER Baby Loves Disco The disco for the funkiest kids around returns to Komedia for another round of baby boogying. With bubble machines, dance scarves and face painting, Baby Loves Disco is just as much fun for adults as kids. Open to all children from six months to seven years and their parents. Komedia, 44–47 Gardner Street, Brighton, 2pm, £8, www.babylovesdisco.co.uk,
Land Girls During World Wars I and II the Women’s Land Army was formed to provide agriculture labour as male farm workers were drafted into the armed services. 75,000 voluntary recruits filled the void during WWII, working in hard and physically challenging roles to provide food and agricultural supplies to the nation. This exhibition looks at the contribution Sussex made. The Land Girls: Cinderellas Of The Soil, Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 01273 290900. Until 14 March 2010
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BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989
Lunchtime special • Pasta & main course dishes for £4.90 • A large selection of Tapas from only £2.60 each Dine for
£10
2 courses & a glass of wine OR
25% off total food bill from A La Carte Menu Terms and conditions: Excludes Saturdays and Bank Holidays. 1 voucher for up to 6 people. BRING THIS VOUCHER. Please book in advance.
Sunday Special Paella • Large paella for £9.90 each (min 2 ppl) 36 Church Road, Hove BN3 2FN, Hove
01273 770355
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FILM 31
filmhighlight
L7 Film
Where The Wild Things Are (PG) Dir: Spike Jonze
The story sees a misunderstood young boy, Max, land on an island entirely populated by mysterious and in some cases massive creatures – aka the Wild Things. They embrace him into their community and, desperate for a leader, make Max their new king. But ruling and keeping his subjects happy proves more of a challenge than he bargained on. See p11 for interview with director Spike Jonze. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld, Connaught and Duke of York’s
Showing this week The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) Dir: Chris Weitz
Bella’s in love with vampire Edward but he’s taking himself out of harm’s way and leaving her brokenhearted. Good thing best mate Jacob is on hand to help mop up the pieces and integrate her back into normal life. Did we say normal? Strike that and introduce a new werewolf element. Bella’s in danger again. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) Dir: Wes Anderson
Avatar 3D (12A) Dir: James Cameron
Me And Orson Welles (12A) Dir: Richard Linklater
Zack Efron proves his acting chops here as 17-year-old Richard, who begs and charms his way onto the cast of the legendary Orson Welles’ stage production of Julius Caesar. Welles is only 22 but already to be reckoned with, and it’s a trial by fire into the theatrical world for our hero. Showing at Cineworld and Duke of York’s
This s the 3D film that’s taken over a decade to make, waiting for the technology to catch up with the vision. Ta da! Here it is, with a tale of a land far, far away inhabited by tall blue creatures called the Na’vi. On a small part of this world is Hell’s Gate, the human compound with a mix of folk inside it. There’s Colonel Quaritch (Stephen Lang), who quite frankly wants to wage war against the Na’vi as he sees them as a threat. And then there are those like Dr Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) who wants to save them. Wonder what they want to do. Well, as luck would have it disabled soldier Jake (Sam Worthington) steps into his avatar resembling a Na’vi and meets a female of the species – Neytiri (Zoe Saldana). Then it all kicks off with discovery and learning and the like. Pitched to be visually stunning. Showing at Odeon, Duke Of York’s and Connaught
A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Jim Carrey is the bad-tempered Scrooge, barking instructions at his hapless employee Bob Cratchit (Gary Oldman) and refusing his nephew
(Colin Firth)’s invitation to Christmas. Come Christmas night and easy sleep is not on the cards as he is visited by
three ghosts of Christmas, hoping to scare the bejiggers out of him. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Mr Fox is daring, brilliant and a tad bored of being good and not stealing from neighbourly farmers, Bogis, Bunce and Bean. One wafer thin chicken won’t hurt. Will it? Voiced by the very foxy George Clooney, joined by Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray. Showing at Duke of York’s
The Wizard Of Oz (U) Dir: Victor Fleming
A Christmastime classic, as Judy Garland gets a tad lost in the technicolour land of Oz. Gathering friends as she goes – come on ye Cowardly Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow – Garland’s Dorothy tries to find her way back home after a cyclone takes her house off course. Fab songs and gripping peril. Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
TUESDAY 15
TUESDAY 15
TUESDAY 15
2012 (12A) 12.30, 4.40, 8.00 The Box (12A) 5.45, 8.30 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30 Coco Before Chanel (12A) 8.45 The Descent: Part 2(18) 7.45 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 12.15, 2.50, 5.30, 8.15 Nativity (U) 12.45, 3.15 Paranormal Activity (15) 11.35, 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 Planet 51 (U) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30
Clouzot’s Inferno (12A) 11.00 (Silver Screen) Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.30, 4.00 (Silver Scream), 6.30, 9.00
Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
2010 (12A) 12.10, 3.50, 7.30 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.40, 4.00, 6.20, 8.50 The Box (12A) 9.10 Law Abising Citizen (18) 3.40, 6.10, 8.40 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 1.10 Nativity (U) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Paranormal Activity (15) 12.00, 2.30, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Planet 51 (U) 12.30, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 2.20, 5.20, 8.30 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.30, 4.05, 6.30, 9.00
FRIDAY 18
WEDNESDAY 16
TBC
2010 (12A) 12.10, 3.50, 7.30 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.40, 4.00, 6.20, 8.50 Avatar 3D (12A) 8.45 Law Abising Citizen (18) 3.40, 6.10, 8.40 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 1.10 Nativity (U) 12.20, 3.00 Paranormal Activity (15) 12.00, 2.30, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Planet 51 (U) 12.30, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 2.20, 5.20, 8.30 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.30, 4.05, 6.30, 9.15
WEDNESDAY 16 2012 (12A) 12.30, 4.40, 8.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 8.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 9.00 The Box (12A) 5.45, 8.30 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 12.15, 2.50, 5.30, 8.15 Nativity (U) 12.45, 3.15 Paranormal Activity (15) 11.35, 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 Planet 51 (U) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30
THURSDAY 17 2012 (12A) 12.30, 8.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 12.30, 4.15, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 11.30, 3.15, 7.00, 9.00 The Box (12A) 3.15, 6.15 A Christmas Carol 2D (PG) 12.15 Julie & Julia (15) 10.30 Law Abiding Citizen (18) 2.50, 5.30, 8.15 Nativity (U) 4.30 Paranormal Activity (15) 11.35, 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 Planet 51 (U) 1.00 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 10.45, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30
WEDNESDAY 16 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 11.00 (Big Screen), 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
THURSDAY 17
SATURDAY 19 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 1.00 Les Contes d'Hoffman 4.00 Me and Orson Welles (12A) 10.30pm The Red Shoes (U) 3.00
SUNDAY 20 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 4.00 Me and Orson Welles (12A) 9.00pm The Red Shoes (U) 6.00 The Wizard Of Oz (U) 1.00
THURSDAY 17
MONDAY 21 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 1.00 Me and Orson Welles (12A) 6.00pm The Red Shoes (U) 8.30
Nativity
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
2010 (12A) 9.10 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.10, 2.40, 5.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 10.00, 1.10, 1.40, 4.50, 5.20, 7.30, 8.30, 9.00 Law Abising Citizen (18) 6.10, 8.40 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 1.10 Nativity (U) 12.20, 3.00 Paranormal Activity (15) 7.00, 9.20 Planet 51 (U) 12.30, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12A) 1.00, 4.00 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.30, 4.05, 6.30, 9.15
worthingtheatres.co.uk Where The Wild Things Are
TUESDAY 15 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 4.30, 7.00
WEDNESDAY 16 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 4.30, 7.00
THURSDAY 17 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 4.30, 7.00
FRIDAY 18 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00, 3.30
SATURDAY 19 Elf (PG) 10.15 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00, 3.30
SUNDAY 20 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00, 3.30
Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21
Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
MONDAY 21 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00, 3.30
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 15 December to Monday 21 December >
> Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December >
>highlight
FRIDAY 18
TUESDAY 15
BRIGHTON COALITION Carnivalesque. Art, fancy dress, oodles of cake and live performance. 10.30pm–4am, £11-6 CONCORDE 2 Playgroup Xmas Special. A jam-packed stocking with the high energy Los Albertos, Local Boys Mean Poppa Lean, The Resonators plus serious wobble from Them! DJs. 11pm–4am, free DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Drink, Dance, Repeat. Mixing and mashing together all your favorites! 11pm–4am, £5/3 HONEY CLUB Hardsouth Christmas Party. Diamond blasting hard dance night with major guests TBC! 11pm–5am, £10-5 JAM Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 11pm–3am, free OCEAN ROOMS Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces. 11pm–5am, free PAVILLION TAVERN Kick Out The Jams. Loud, dirty rock n roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Wrong Music Xmas Rave. Aceed house, Techno, Jungle, Hardbore, Old Skool and D'n'B mash up with Ceephax live! 10pm, £10/8
Call Me Jolene + Das Fenster Headlined by the ‘lo-fi Portishead’ with support from quality Brighton dark mavericks. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4 Electric Six The tongue-in-cheek cult favourites behind (ahem) the likes of ‘Gay Bar’ and ‘Danger! High Voltage’. Concorde 2, 7.30pm. £10 LMB All Stars Christmas Party Special Soul, funk and pop covers with a festive theme. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7/6/25 xmas meal Suspiciously Elvis Christmas Special Elvis tribute starts the party. Komedia, 8pm, £30/18.50
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PLAYROOM Bounce away the Winter blizzard blues in a club night that's got more spring than Flubber in a cement mixer! Unleash the kid in you into the wild playground of inflatable toys, spacehoppers, twister, giant games, a ball pond and a 15ft bouncy castle! Do nothing in moderation: the place is giant, the drinks are tasty and the music is cutting-edge, funky house and electric dolled out by the biggest kids in town, DJ Nippa and guests. Are you ready to play? Saturday 19 December, Digital
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TUESDAY 15 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Dust off your disco shoes and polish up your disco balls... 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 NEW HERO Let's Kill Disco. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–3am, £3/1 PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
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WEDNESDAY 16 AUDIO Supercharged Xmas Party. Brighton’s own Beats’n’Bass grinder and future deck hero, High Rankin. 11pm–2.30am, £1 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 OCEAN ROOMS University Of Life. With a curriculum of rock star skills, blagging, pole dancing and cocktail sipping! 11pm, £2
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THURSDAY 17 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal. 10pm–3am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Hip-hop, dup step and D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12am HONEY CLUB Fusion. Six DJs, three rooms of sexy R’n’B, indie and house, one place to be. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. A sweat box of ‘50s rhythm & blues and original Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3 LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 VOLKS Southern Invasion. D’n’B and dubstep rhythms from DJ Faceplant. 10pm, £4/3
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SATURDAY 19 AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures, classic hits and maverick pop genius! 11pm-4am, £10-6 DIGITAL Playroom. Sticking two to maturity with Funky House and Dirty Electro Grooves. 11pm–4am, £15/12 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA Spellbound. An 80's club night for all the haters of 80s nights. 9pm, £5 KOMEDIA Da Doo Ron Ron Motown Xmas Party. Spinning nothing but Tamla Motown tunes from 1959 to the mid-70s! 11pm, £5 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 VOLKS Frequency. Loud and dirty D'n'B session with Xample and Shimon. 10pm–5am, free
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British folk veterans celebrate an impressive forty years in the business. Hove Town Hall, 7.30pm, £17.50 The Eighties Matchbox Xmas Disaster: Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster + Bad For Lazarus + Rodeo Death Burger Fantastico. Absolutely free festive show from Brighton's finest psychobilly mental cases! Concorde 2, 9pm, free
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SUNDAY 20 Bad Manners + Rude Girls + Two Tone Club + The Can Can Girls The powerhouse ska veterans, led by the umistakable Buster Bloodvessel, bring their friends to town for the annual Xmas extravaganza. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £15 Stars In Their Mince Pies: Fake Bush Tribute show talent show starring Brighton’s own Kate Bush-alike, Fake Bush. Also Monday 21 at 8pm. Komedia, 8pm, £8/6/20 inc meal This Is Soul: Geno Washington, Jimmy James and PP Arnold These soul veterans take their show from Worthing to Eastbourne. Congress Theatre, 8pm, £14.50–£23.50 Winter Ceilidh Winter celtic dance with music from locals The Sussex Pistols. Brighton Dome, 7pm, £8/5 (£22 family)
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WEDNESDAY 16 Big Wheels Revue Christmas Party Special Festive special featuring Motown classic covers. Latest Music Bar,8pm. £7/6/25w/xmas meal Caimbo Rising Cambridge-based indie rock. Freebutt, 8pm, £tbc Suspiciously Elvis Christmas Special Tribute to The King in time for Yuletide. Komedia, 8pm. £30/18.50 The Dials + The Laylanas + The Heavy Horse Band Brighton bands, featuring indie rockers The Dials, supported by local light-hearted popsters The Laylanas. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
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THURSDAY 17 Salter Cane + Caramel Jack + The Self-Help Group Decent Americana-playing locals supported by the great pseudo-vaudevillians Caramel Jack. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Simon And Oscar From Ocean Colour Scene After their ill-fated slot at this year’s cancelled Beachdown, two of the ‘90s brit-poppers play an intimate acoustic set. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £10 The Paddingtons Well-liked five-piece rock band from Hull Rock City. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £7.50 UK Subs + Control + The Drone Rebels Old school UK punk veterans take the stage. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £10
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MONDAY 21 Comeback To The Waterfront Bikers Special Biker's night with live music, DJs and more. Concorde 2, 6pm, £tbc LMB All Stars Featuring Alison David Soul, pop and funk covers with a festive slant. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7/6/25 inc meal
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FRIDAY 18
SUNDAY 20
Squeezebox Rocks Squeezebox Music Studios put on a seasonal showcase. Brighton Dome, 7pm. £6/4 The Horrors Gothish punk-Rotters who have seemingly outgrown their scenester status with this year’s acclaimed second album. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £10.50
HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free
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MONDAY 21 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Detention. Weekly student trash bash. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/free Jaime Pettit
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tues dec 15 upstairs: christmas party special the lmb all stars playing soul/funk/pop classics £25 3 course xmas menu. diners must book in advance. doors 8pm show 9pm £6 in advance/£7 on the door for those not eating downstairs: call me jolene+das fenster featuring martin rossiter the lead singer from gene 8pm £4
SATURDAY 19 Christmas Ball Recapture the golden age of ballroom dance with the 10-piece Berkeley Square Society Band. Brighton Dome,8pm, £22.50 (couples)/£12 Steeleye Span 40th Anniversary Tour The
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downstairs: big wheels revue brighton's finest musicians playing detroit's finest music. timeless, classic, motown doors 7.30pm show 8.30pm-late £8
party, wedding or anniversary call 01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk downstairs: shiny things presents 3 bands 7.30pm £6/4
thurs dec 17
mon dec 21
private party
christmas party special-feat alison david the lmb all stars playing soul/funk/pop classics featuring alison david. £25 3 course xmas menu. diners must book in advance. doors 8pm show 9pm £6 in advance/£7 on the door for those not eating 8pm £6/5 in advance
fri dec 18 private christmas party
wed dec 16
sat dec 19
upstairs:city college live music show a diverse collection of tunes from the 1950s to contemporary 8pm til late £free
private christmas party
manchester street, brighton tel.
33
sun dec 20 private party to book your private
01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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035_LS454_musichighlights_news
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MUSIC NEWS 35
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December >
With Jeff Hemmings
The Horrors
THE HORRORS Aptly named garage goth rockers who look like a bunch of extras from The Addams Family. Musically, they deal in a frightfully energising and densely conceived mix of shoegaze, postpunk, Crampsesque and feedback. Recent album Primary Colours was produced by noir expert Geoff Barlow (of Portishead). Friday 18 December, Concorde 2
Bat For Lashes
FUTURE’S BRIGHT
The music scene in Brighton continues to grow up. 2009 was another great year; will 2010 follow suit?
Los Albertos
LOS ALBERTOS Popular and supremely tight ska-based band who mix contemporary lyrics with a brass-orientated sound that works a treat on the dance floor. Support comes the excellent gypsy/ska/jazz/ mariachi hybrid Wide Eyed Order. Saturday 19 December, The Brunswick
STEELEYE SPAN Perennial – if often derided by the music press – folk-rock favourites, who had a couple of big hits with ‘All Around My Hat’ and ‘Gaudette’ before the punk and new wave explosions consigned them to the sidelines. Formed by Fairport Convention’s Ashley Hutchings and featuring the lead vocal of Maddy Prior, the band have managed to carve out a successful career, combining originals with traditional songs and jigs and reels a-plenty. Saturday 19 December, Hove Centre
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nce again, it was another good year for music in Brighton, a city that is shaking off its image as a ‘toytown’, a place where it’s all talk and no action. That was always rubbish, of course, but within every sweeping statement there is a germ of truth; and Brighton is waking up to the fact that it is ‘out there’ that reputations are cemented and careers truly forged. Brighton’s just a great place to live. The times they are-a-changin’, and so is the music industry. Where once you had to go to a small number of majors and indies for that allimportant ‘deal’, now the options for getting your music out there are multiplying faster than a virus. Almost everybody is at it nowadays, and the opportunities to spread the word are vast. But of course, labels still have their place and the muscle to make things happen, albeit now on the basis that you come with the goods fully packaged. You just don’t seem to need them to get going anymore, and their place within the industry will irrevocably continue to decline. What did we have to offer? Acts like Bat For Lashes rode the wave of the new era of the sophisticated singer-songwriter, while hardcore
punks Ghost Of A Thousand and This City milked a scene that is still underrated, still a little underground. Brakes released a great live album, while The Leisure Society entranced. Meanwhile, The Kooks continued to get bigger, and The Maccabees headed for fifth gear. 2009 marked another stage in the continuing fragmentation of the music scene. Brighton is particularly good at this; it nurtures the countrynoir of Sweet Sweet Lies side-by-side with the sweet indie-pop of The Beautiful Word; the classic folk of Mary Hampton with the experimental glitch of Grasscut; the mad funk of Mean Poppa Lean alongside the classic rock of The Crave; and the good-time soul of Alice Russell rubs shoulders with the intimate songs of Kate Walsh. Who to look out for next year? Well, there’re The Perils, Rob The Rich, The Jo Harman Project, The Miserable Rich, Eddie, Laura Vane, The Half Sisters, Curly Hair, King Porter Stomp, Gentlemen Starkey, Birdeatsbaby, The Lyrebirds, Morning Orchestra, Pope Joan, Foxes!, The Pursuit, Cordelia Fellowes, The Laylanas, Wide Eyed Order, Sophie Madeleine, Jacob’s Stories, The Impellers... The list just goes on.
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COMEDY | GAY
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 15 December to Monday 21 December >
> Tuesday 15 to Monday 21 December > FRIDAY 18
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RELIGION: ICE PARTY
BOOKING NOW: THE TREASON SHOW
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ew year wouldn’t be new year without The Treason Show’s comment on the past twelve months’ news. Brighton’s very own satirical sketch comedy show presents ‘That Was The Year That Was’ 2009, refusing to show any comedy mercy to the likes of Gordon Brown, bonushungry bankers or maybe even Jordan. If it’s hit the headlines then it’s fair game for the wit and pith of these writers. Mixing up sketches and songs, The Treason Show is now in its ninth sell-out year, back by popular demand and in a brand new venue. Headed up by the original Naked Gag-man, Mark Brailsford, and gathering together a group of top class performers and writers, it should see them spoilt for choice after this eventful year. A new US president, Blair’s bid for the European presidency and the phenomenon of Jedward – where to go first? The Old Ship Hotel, Sunday 27–Wednesday 30 December, 8.30pm, £15
Comedy listings
A freak snow storm is set to hit Brighton as Religion returns for a special one-off festive edition of the award-winning night. Layers of ice and snow will be blasting through Charles Street, cut through with lazers and shattered apart by the legendary music stylings of Tony B, Billy Davie and Mr Richard Jones. Plus the sensational ice maidens Joan Bond and Ms Joyride are on hand to host the ice cavern’s camp capers! Put on your best naughty elf hotpants and snow queen elegance and swan down to the floor for some filthy funky house and a smattering of pleasing dance classics. Thursday 17 December, Charles Street Club
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WEDNESDAY 16 Krater Christmas Krackers Stacked and packed with enough explosive gags to bring the house down, as well as a three-course dinner, these Christmas crackers offer so much more than a party hat and a novelty, miniature screwdriver set. Komedia, 8.45pm, £30–45 Ricky Gervais: Science See Tuesday. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £30
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THURSDAY 17 Krater Christmas Krackers See Wednesday Komedia, 8.15pm, £30–45 The Maydays! Enter The Maydays – Brighton’s masterful, maverick, award-winning improvised comedy troupe. Every performance is inspired by newspaper articles cut out by the audience just minutes before curtain time. Komedia, 8pm, £7/5
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FRIDAY 18 Clever Peter Nominated for Best Comedy at the Brighton Fringe Awards two years running, Clever Peter return with fast-paced sketches, razorsharp writing, and energetic performances. Upstairs At The Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6 Ida Barr: So This Is Christmas 'The People's Pensioner' Ida Barr is leaving her retirement home behind this yuletide to bring you a 'flava' of Christmas in this interactive festive delight. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £14 Krater Christmas Krackers See Wednesday Komedia, 2.45pm and 8.45pm, £30–45
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SATURDAY 20 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 7pm & 10.30pm, £6–30 The Hee-Has At Home This group of Brightonbased performers create improvised comedy sketches, games and songs. Meet at the Grosvenor and you’ll be collected by a performer and taken along to Angel House for comedy in a living room. Grosvenor Bar, 8pm, £6/5
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MONDAY 21 The People Versus Stand Up Comedy – Best Of The Year Show With Sean McLoughlin, Lana Garth, Romesh Ranganathan, Val Lee, Rupert Boon and Claire Parker. Alan Seabrook hosts. The Forager, 7.30pm, £4/2
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TUESDAY 15
SATURDAY 19
AMSTERDAM Karaoke with Ms Desdimona. 9pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Bring The Noise. Dare to share your own MP3 playlists and chill out with your own music. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With mistress Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Deck Heroine LadyBex throws out ’80s, ’90s, ’00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT CLUB Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
BRIGHTON TAVERN Christmas Carols. Hot mulled wine, mince pies and Christmas carol favourites sung by the Chapel Royal Choir. 7.30pm, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls Rock On. Spinning their own selection of music by the Women we love! 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Peter & Friends + Karaoke. Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics. 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT CLUB Ignition. The funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Special Xmas Viva La Divas + Booty Call. Live music from Em then 8.30pm floor filling rollers from DJ Soap. THE ZONE Presents...Sally Vate. 9.30pm, free
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Krater Comedy Club Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Raymond and Mr Timpkins Revue, Lloyd Langford and more! MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £6–30
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TUESDAY 15 Ricky Gervais: Science Ricky Gervais has written a brand new live show called ‘Science’. It'll be a corker! Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £30
BRIGHTON TAVERN Festive Fancy Dress Party. 8pm, Donations to Sussex Beacon CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. Bubblegum tunes and sweet camp pop. 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A. Playing Indie, electro, soul, punk, and classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Office Party + Camp Attack + Karaoke. Handbag, commercial and camp tunes. 5pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free THE Zone Krissie Du Cann. 9.30pm, free
WEDNESDAY 16
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THURSDAY 17 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house, plus cheap as Primark Pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 CHARLES STREET CLUB Religion: Ice Party. See highlight. 10pm, £5/1 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS DJ Competition. 1pm, free LEGENDS Absolut Karaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 9.30pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT CLUB DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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SUNDAY 20 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie’s Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Recovery Room + Electro Therapy. DJ D.A.B will be mixing a concoction of funky and dirty electro house on 8pm, free prescription! LEGENDS The Topping & Butch Xmas Show. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. 7pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Drag With No Name + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT CLUB Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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MONDAY 21 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin all the best party tracks spanning the last four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free R-BAR A Dave Lynn Spectacular. 10pm, free THE BASEMENT CLUB Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
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037_LS454_reviews
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REVIEWS
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L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk ALICE COOPER: THEATRE OF DEATH Try to kill him and he will not die – well, at least not on stage. Yes, Alice was back with his rocking show once more. And on tip-top form as he belted out his repertoire with as much power and class as a man a quarter his age might strive to achieve. Illusions and macabre theatrics are all good but what impressed was his ability to put together a blistering line-up of musicians who can bring to those hits the full power they deserve. This was no MOR retirement fund gig; this was Alice at his dirtiest and rockiest best. Brighton Centre, 5 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
CELESTIAL SIRENS/MUSICA SECRETA: A CHRISTMAS VESPERS Like circus acts constructing human pyramids, these two female choral groups built soaring polyphonies beneath the vast ceiling of St Bart’s with barely a starting note from the organ or an accompanying strum from the chitarrone (a sort of giant lute) for support. A Christmas concert with a difference, the Early Music Festival-affiliated event began with a song by the abbess and mystic Hildegard of Bingen and included several dramatic psalms by a Benedictine nun named Cozzolani, only recently rescued from obscurity. This was angelic music powered by unfussy humanity, and even more spine-tingling for it. St Bartholomew’s Church, 5 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Bella Todd
WILL YOUNG There’s a big market out there for properly enunciated adult pop, and on the last night of his Hits tour reconstituted Pop Idol Will Young filled it with aplomb. With a live band instead of dancers, he made sure his vocal was centre stage and included a gorgeously languid cover of The Buzzcocks’ punk-rock classic ‘Ever Fallen In Love...’ in which the words ‘shouldn’t have’ were pronounced with all the care of a butler laying table. But he ain’t prissy – in one of several impish asides, he owned that he sometimes conducts promo interviews on the toilet. The banter was cute, the band flexible, the ballads given just the right amount of room to breathe. But when it’s all about the voice, you might as well be listening from your bubble bath with a mug of Cadbury’s Options. Brighton Centre, 6 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Bella Todd
HERRING AND COLLINS PODCAST This is a very unlikely double-act: mild-mannered nostalgia show regular and self-confessed ‘noncomedian’ Andrew Collins and Richard Herring, formerly Stewart Lee’s former foil, now an accomplished but obscene stand-up in his own right. It shouldn’t work, but it does, and their weekly one-hour-six minute ad-libbed trawl through the headlines and each other’s lives is a must listen. Live it was even better with the audience adding a frisson which pushed the pair (mainly Herring) to even further extremes. Possibly too far. A girl sitting next to me was actually begging Rich to stop at one point. Not for everyone then, but truly no-holds barred comedy. Duke of York’s Picturehouse, 8 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Simon Plotkin
JAMES MORRISON With One Republic in support, this show was packed with a phenomenal energy from the outset. One Republic’s popular tracks, including ‘Stop And Stare’ and ‘Apologize’ (of course), were played alongside new material including the fantastic ‘Secrets.’ The cello was amazing; their sounds were incredible. All this and James hadn't even taken to the stage. When he did, the high energy continued; James played and sang with a passion, and the show effortlessly blended ballads with a funky soul and pop sound. ‘Broken Strings’, ‘You Give Me Something’ and ‘Wonderful World’ made the night. Brighton Centre, 8 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Zara Baker
STEPHEN MALKMUS The front man of the soon-to-be reformed Pavement was in a very chipper mood. This was a tour-deforce display of epic solos from Malkmus. From the slow burning ‘Ramp Of Death’ through psychedelia to full on prog rock with ‘Dragonfly Pie’, everyone from the uninitiated to the already converted showed their appreciation. The Jicks supplied the perfect backing for Malkmus’s intricate flights of fancy, with drummer Janet Weiss supplying most of the backing vocals. Malkmus is such an enigmatic performer that the only time the Jicks got to shine was when they jammed on a ’60s surf classic while Stephen was off stage. Komedia, 8 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
CHILD’S PLAY PETER PAN Theatre Royal Brighton, until 3 January 2010 ✪✪✪✪✪
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an opens with delightful close harmony Christmas carols and the prettiest of sets. No expense has been spared on the costumes either as the large cast take to the stage to deliver the JM Barrie classic. And this production is very true to the book with all the elements in place from a marvellously scary Captain Hook and grovellingly funny Smee to a first class Peter Pan himself. Full marks to Samuel Holmes, too, for a measuredly camp Starkey that owes much to the late Kenneth Williams. It is a saucy but inoffensive characterisation that gives us grown-ups something to laugh at. The moment Pan teaches the Darling children to fly is magical; a great – almost cinematic – visual effect as they sail above the rooftops and around the tower of the Palace of Westminster. Peter Pan is essentially a Christmas play and not a pantomime but it soon becomes clear that what we have here is an attempt to do both. And in some measure this works; the pirates certainly
engage the audience with their antics, the Gilbert and Sullivan moment is inspired – but musically the rest is less successful with a disappointing choice of songs, although the ensemble numbers are delivered with conviction and quality vocal arrangements. The choreography is equally stylish and Harry Francis as Pan is far superior to the usual dragged up pop bimbette – he sings and dances brilliantly. The kids – and there are lots of them – are excellent, well rehearsed and plentiful, no doubt partly due to the generous support of Robinsons. Granville Saxton’s Hook is masterful, the costume delicious but, on occasions, the script and his snarling delivery became entangled and lost. And in a sense this would be my criticism – that, in trying to please all with a Christmas show that plays pantomime, the whole has become entangled and a little lost. That said, there is plenty here to please and no child should be denied the opportunity to enjoy what has to be one of the most delightful stories ever written. Andrew Kay
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
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SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
L7 TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
15 – 28 DECEMBER
Marathon Mary
Telly Talk
Marathon Mary discovers Fatboy Slim is training too
With Victoria Nangle
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The suspense of Christmas
orman Cook drove past me opposite the Brighton Centre the other day and I had to do a double take. It was clearly him, but he looked about ten years younger. In fact, he looked healthier and slimmer than he did ten years ago. I thought, I guess that's what giving up alcohol does for you. But then I found out he's training for the marathon too, so the running can’t be doing any harm. I gave up alcohol for six weeks before my half marathon in the spring. I'm sure it helped. I'll be doing the same before the Sussex Beacon Half Marathon and the Brighton Marathon next year. I'm not sure whether it makes me faster on the day, but it sure motivates me to get out of bed and go for a run on a Saturday or Sunday morning instead of lying around nursing a hangover. I stayed in last Saturday night, then ran ten miles on Sunday and felt fine, just a little tired afterwards. The week before, I managed a 10k race in just under an hour. Tom Naylor of Grounded Events, the company “Whether an email at organising the marathon, told me if I can run a half marathon 9pm on a Friday by Christmas, I'll be on track for the real thing. So long as I saying ‘have another can avoid spoiling my training with Christmas parties. cup of tea’ will help I never realised how much remains to be seen” work there would be preparing for a marathon. I've been running three times a week for about two months, plus strength training and cycling to the office. My girlfriend has been getting a bit annoyed that I'm tired a lot of the time, but I'm determined to stick to the programme. I want to run a marathon before I turn 30 next year. I've started to get worried about what I'll do after the race. If happiness is the pursuit of small goals – ten miles, 11 miles, and so on – what will happen when I'm no longer on a training programme? Will I get obsessed with another challenge, like a triathlon? Or will I go back to my old unhealthy-living days? For now, I’ll concentrate on my achievable targets – like giving up drinking after Christmas. I’m going to sign up to the NHS January Challenge – www.januarychallenge.co.uk. It’s aimed at 25 to 34-yearolds, and apparently they send you motivational messages encouraging you to stay away from alcohol. Whether an email at 9pm on a Friday night saying “have another cup of tea” will help is yet to be seen, but I’ll give it a try. I wouldn’t mind starting the year looking ten years younger. brightonmarathon.co.uk www.beaconhalf.org.uk
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his is just fab. I’ve got a list in front of me of Christmas telly and it’s like having the backs of my favourite books there with the pages glued shut. I’ve no idea if they’re any good – just if I want to see them, and there lies the essence of Christmas telly. Like all the presents under the tree, it’s the promise of possibility that generates the excitement. Will it be a twelvegear mountain bike or an elaborate clothes drying horse? Who can tell with all those strange angles underneath the wrapping paper? Anticipation is everything, but some bits you just know will be good, like Aunt Enna’s banana bread and the Doctor Who Christmas Special. You really don’t want to miss either. Luckily for that metaphor there is a Doctor Who Christmas Special. Woo hoo! It was hinted at during Children In Need and the scene was set by the last one-off special of a brooding Doctor searching for answers, a regeneration on the horizon, and an arch enemy back in the land of the living. I want to watch it now! Darn those sticky glued-up pages. For the younger but still discerning audience there’s the long-awaited animation of the award-winning book The Gruffalo –
one of those books I’ve been assured parents love possibly even more than children. Play nicely now. Want high brow? You shall have high brow! Check out BBC2’s latest rendition of Hamlet. Only played by blimmin’ Doctor Who, that’s who! Sorry. David Tennant reprises his role for the television adaptation following his huge success in the West End earlier this year. Mega cool. Maybe I’ll have to overcome my iPlayer-phobia and make sure I see all of that one without any familial ‘support’. Comedy specials are covered by not only the Catherine Tate Christmas Special, but also in Steve Coogan: The Inside Story. You’ve got to love the one-offs. There are, of course, loads more good telly shows on apart from these but I’ve only got so much room here, you understand. Plus there’re the film marathons. Here’s a game you can play each Christmas: before anyone looks at the TV guide, run a book as to which of the following will be on first this Christmas – Chicken Run, The Sound Of Music or Wallace & Gromit. I’m not guaranteeing any of them. Or condoning gambling. I’m just suggesting a simple way to determine ownership of the remote control. Happy viewing and a very merry Christmas.
The Gruffalo
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Tuesday 15 CSI: Miami Five, 9pm It’s the season finale, which means so many strings of plot brought together you could practically knit your Christmas stockings with them all. Ivan the Terrible breaks out of jail with a wily ‘poisoning yerself’ plan. Not sure that’s going too well for him. And all those bits about Delko’s dad? Yup, coming to a head now.
Christmas Tales: The Legends Of Santa ITV1, 10.35pm Fiona Bruce presents this threepart series looking at festive icons. Obviously Father Christmas could not be left out of this. Is he really a saint? Is he pagan? Is he always jolly? An up close and personal look at the history and development of Santa through the ages. Behind the tinsel.
Glee: Sneak Peek E4, 9pm The internet, Twitter and Facebook are powering their own Christmas lights with the amount of buzz around this new series. E4’s musical comedy Glee is coming soon, but to keep you fully in the loop in preparation for its arrival, this is a tale of an optimistic teacher inspiring oddball kids. With songs. Cool.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Will And Grace 9.00 Hollyoaks Music Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Garage Wars 12.35 What’s In A Word? 12.50 Wife Swap USA 1.50 FILM: The Moonraker (1958) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Football League 1.00pm SPL Round-Up 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Football League 4.00 Netbusters 4.30 International Cricket 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Scottish Premier League 2.30 LIVE Test Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Billy is given a Christmas dilemma and Ricky realises that Todd could help Whitney move on. Practically Dickensian, this lot. 8.00 Holby City Tempers fray when Mark becomes over-protective of Judith and realises he might have feelings for her. Ya think?! 9.00 Paradox Drama series. The team receive double the amount of images in what appears to be their most unfathomable mystery so far. The images seem to be predicting a robbery, a fire and multiple deaths, but how can they trace so many clues in so little time? May as well give up. Humph. They don’t though. Fools. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Arts series. He has performed in 3,400 performances in over 130 roles, conducted upwards of 450 performances, and is general director of both the Washington National and Los Angeles Operas. Placido Domingo now embarks on his first role as baritone in an opera. 11.30 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Film news and reviews. 12.00am The Graham Norton Show 2.45 Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.20 Natural World 2.10 Trawlermen (x2) 4.10 BBC News
6.00 Celebrity Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a celebrity special of the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents all the backstage gossip from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. Their feet must hurt by now with all that dancing. 7.00 One Man And His Dog One Man And His Dog returns with the 2009 competition, from Armoy in stunning County Antrim. Here boy! 7.30 One Man And His Dog More doggy and man action. 8.00 A History Of Scotland At the start of the 19th century, everything familiar was swept away. People fled from the countryside into the industrial towns of Scotland’s central belt. Thomas Hardy stuff but North. 9.00 Can Gerry Robinson Fix Dementia Care Homes? Businessman Sir Gerry Robinson returns in a new series in which he tries to turn around three struggling care homes. 10.00 Miranda Repeat of Monday’s show. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Earth: The Climate Wars Dr Iain Stewart traces the history of climate change from its very beginning and examines just how the scientific community managed to get it so very wrong back in the 70s. 12.20am BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Adam grows increasingly concerned over Holly and Aaron’s closeness. 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the work of Britain’s clean-up crews. Street enforcer Mitch copes with the illegal practices and grime that are part of a Friday night in London’s West End. Ugh. Don’t wanna look. 8.00 Coastline Cops Cameras follow the men and women who look after the 10,500 miles of Britain’s coastline. 9.00 Robson Green’s Wild Swimming Adventure Second of a two-part programme in which Robson Green embraces the pursuit of outdoor swimming. With his swim to Holy Island fast approaching, Robson drops in on legendary channel swimming coach Freda Streeter, before heading north to Scotland’s infamous Corryvreckan whirlpool. Jelly fish are not good swim mates. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Christmas Tales: The Legends Of Santa See highlights. 11.35 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures. 12.05am In Plain Sight 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Hana’s Helpline 8.45 The WotWots 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Little Lodgers 9.05 Pocoyo 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Home And Away 2.20 Sea Patrol UK 3.20 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.40 FILM: Noel (2004) 5.30 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 6.00 Home And Away Hugo tries to salvage his relationship with Martha. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Sea Patrol UK Documentary series charting the work of the elite teams that patrol the English Channel. A coastguard helicopter swoops in to assist a fallen fisherman. Good job, Mr Coastguard! 9.00 CSI: Miami See highlights. 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. A CSI is fatally injured when mogul Robert Dunbrook’s son is kidnapped on the way to court. Desperate for justice for their fallen comrade, the CSIs pull out all the stops to find the culprits. But could their investigation put more lives in jeopardy? 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Las Vegas-based forensic drama. Brass struggles for his life after being shot in the chest. Meanwhile, the team investigates the murders of a decapitated victim with a civil war obsession. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 Great Ethiopian Run 3.40 Great Australian Run 4.05 Summer X Games 4.20 Ironman Triathlon 5.10 Great Scientists 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Kris plucks up the courage to tell Nancy that he does not want to live with her. Take cover! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Jamie’s Family Christmas In the first programme Jamie shows how to prepare the perfect turkey, along with great gravy and simple stuffing. 8.30 Jamie’s Family Christmas Jamie reveals his favourite lunches, brunches and snacks to share with family and friends over Christmas. Maybe we should just get our family and friends to watch this and they can make the goodies. Simple! 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word This week features cuisine from the Americas, as Discover Bay, a Huddersfield Caribbean restaurant, battles Santa Maria del Sur, an Argentinian restaurant from London. Gordon also travels to Canada to hunt snow geese. What’d they do to him? 10.05 FILM: Hunger (2008) Starring Michael Fassbender. Powerful awardwinning drama about the 1981 hunger strikes by Republican prisoners in Northern Ireland. 12.00am Bullrun 2009 12.35 Running To The Limits 1.35 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 2.30 Volvo Ocean Race 3.20 Deadliest Catch 4.10 Switched 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.25 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 9.30 Great Run Series 10.00 IRB Sevens 1.00pm British Rally Championship 2.00 Extra Time 2.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 3.00 IRB Sevens 6.00 Golf Special 6.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Revista De La Liga 11.15 Hyundai A League 11.45 Scottish Premier League 12.15am Ladies European Tour Golf 1.15 Asian Tour Golf 2.15 Revista De La Liga 3.15 Sports Unlimited 4.15 Football Asia 4.45 Revista De La Liga 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
Sky Sports 3 6.00am The Premiership Years 8.00 WWE: Afterburn 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Powder Adventures 10.30 Extra Time 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 2.00 Powder Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 4.00 Great Run Series 4.30 WWE Smackdown 6.30 World Cup Of Pool 7.30 LIVE Scottish Premier League 10.00 International Cricket 12.00am World Matchplay Bowls 2.00 International Cricket 4.00 The Premiership Years
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12.00pm The Biggest Loser USA 1.00 Project Catwalk 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Fringe 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid?: Top Ten Shockers 9.00 Move Like Michael Jackson: SemiFinal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Special 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Move Like Michael Jackson: Semi-Final 12.45am Snog Marry Avoid?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 World Of A Child: Kamal Hussein 8.00 Life 9.00 Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play 10.00 Environment Debate 10.30 We Need Answers 11.00 All About Thunderbirds 12.00am The Fantasy Worlds Of Irwin Allen 1.35 Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 2) 10.00 FILM: Passenger 57 (1993) 11.45 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 2) 12.45am Emmerdale
1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 On The Buses 2.45 Rising Damp 3.15 FILM: Columbo: It’s All In The Game (1993) 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Ghostboat 11.35 Wycliffe 1.10am Nora Roberts: Midnight Bayou 2.50 Film File
4.00pm Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glee: Sneak Peek. See highlights. 9.55 E4s Great Big Ruddy New Year Preview 10.00 FILM: There’s Something About Mary (1998) 12.20am My Name Is Earl 12.50 Scrubs (x2) 1.50 Beauty And The Geek
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Country House Rescue 10.00 True Stories 11.55 Country House Rescue 1.00am True Stories 2.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away
11.00am Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 1.55pm Black Narcissus (1946) 4.05 Castle In The Sky (1986) 6.40 Local Hero (1983) 9.00 Blade: Trinity (2004) 11.20 Night Watch (2004) 1.35am Kamikaze Girls (2004)
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wednesday 16 True Blood Channel 4, 10pm Right, so now we know it’s not just vampires that are out there being other worldly beasties. Sam the shifter and Sookie the mind-reader pootle along to see a shifty police officer to find out more about her visions. And when Tara’s mother refuses to bail her out a mysterious lady comes to her rescue. Who dat?!
Film: The Exorcist Five, 10pm For some reason Christmas time to programmers always spells scary movies. Maybe they don’t get on with their in-laws. Suffice to say, we’ve got this 1973 classic tale of a sweet girl who gets into a spot of bother with some demonic possession and terrible bed hair. It’s down to her mother and the priests to help.
Gossip Girl ITV2, 8pm This is a bit like Dynasty for teenagers as Upper East Side darlings snipe and plot against each other in the most delicious outfits. You just know a cat fight in a fountain can never be far away. As it is, Blair does a little digging into Eleanor’s secrets, Rufus discovers Lily’s lied to him, and Jenny tries to get even with Eric.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 The Secret Show 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Lifeline 2.10 Coast 2.15 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Celebrity Eggheads A celebrity special of the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 One Man And His Dog One Man and His Dog returns with the 2009 competition, from Armoy in stunning County Antrim. Woof! 7.40 Coast Series exploring Britain’s coastline. 8.00 Grow Your Own Drugs For Christmas Ethnobotanist James Wong returns with a Christmas special. 9.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Twelve Days Of Christmas A typically madcap Hairy Bikers’ journey through the verses of one of the most popular Christmas songs. For each line of the song, the boys have come up with a fantastic twist on a classic Christmas dish. Wow. So full up just watching. 10.00 Buzzcocks: The Doctor Who Special David Tennant hosts a special Dr Who-themed show with team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Earth: The Climate Wars Dr Iain Stewart investigates the counter-attack that was launched by the global warming sceptics in the 1990s. 12.20am An Island Parish 12.50 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Will And Grace 9.00 Hollyoaks Music Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Garage Wars 12.35 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.40 Wife Swap USA 1.30 FILM: Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Hana’s Helpline 8.45 The WotWots 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Milkshake! Bop Box 9.05 Pocoyo 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Home And Away 2.20 Sea Patrol UK 3.20 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.40 FILM: Our First Christmas (2008) 5.30 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 6.00 Home And Away Angelo makes a breakthrough in the asylum seekers case. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Britain’s Best Brain Quiz show with Zoe Ball and Jamie Theakston. In the grand final, the five highest scorers from the series return for the chance to win the ‘Britain’s Best Brain’ trophy and £10,000. The finalists are put through their paces in challenges that test their skills of calculation, co-ordination, memory, recognition and risk assessment. 9.00 The Exorcist: The True Story Documentary exploring the real-life incident that inspired the 1973 film The Exorcist. In 1949, Catholic priests attempted to exorcise a 13-year-old boy who was seemingly possessed by demons. The event inspired William Peter Blatty to write his best-selling novel, but modern-day scientists now pour doubt on the veracity of the tale. 10.00 FILM: The Exorcist (1973) See highlights. 12.40am PartyPoker.com World Open V 2.05 SuperCasino 3.00 The Great Run Review 4.00 Europa League Football 5.10 Great Scientists 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 8.00 LIVE International Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 NFL - America’s Game 6.00 Asian Tour Weekly 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 European Tour Weekly 2.30 LIVE Test Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Big Top Comedy series set in and around a travelling circus. Ringmistress Lizzie receives a visit from immigration: it appears that her star acrobat, Eastern European Boyco, has no work visa. Run away! You won’t catch an immigration officer on the high wire. 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama. It’s D-day for Helen as the morning of her official teaching inspection arrives. Max loses another ally when Chris learns of his threatening behaviour towards Rachel. 9.00 Spooks Drama series about the British Security Service. When Section D discovers that a group of Hindu nationalists plans an attack on the Muslim community, the race is on to find out when and where. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Jodie Prenger presents the midweek National Lottery draws. 10.45 Match Of The Day Highlights of the evening’s four Premier League matches, as well as all the goals from Tuesday’s matches. 12.00am FILM: The Crossing Guard (1995) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.50 Country Tracks 3.45 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl is livid when he learns that Chas knew the truth about Cain’s money. Watch his colour change as his face goes beetroot. 7.30 The Royal Variety Performance 2009 Peter Kay hosts the 81st Royal Variety Performance from the Opera House Theatre, Blackpool, in the presence of HM The Queen and HRH The Duke of Edinburgh. The star-studded list of performers includes the bill-topping Bette Midler, Whoopi Goldberg and the cast of the smash hit musical Sister Act, and dance troupe Diversity, the winners of this year’s Britain’s Got Talent. There is music from Lady Gaga, Michael Buble, Alexandra Burke, Mika, Miley Cyrus, Katherine Jenkins, the stars of the hit show Here Come the Girls, Lulu, Anastacia and Chaka Khan. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) Starring Bruce Willis, Hayley Joel Osment, Toni Collette. Tense psychological thriller. Young Cole Sear has a dark secret - he sees the spirits of dead people all around him. People have been taking the mickey in sketch shows ever since. 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Loretta’s horrific secret from the past is revealed. Des tells Lauren to give Gaz a chance. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Jamie’s Family Christmas Jamie reveals his favourite lunches, brunches and snacks to share with family and friends over Christmas. 8.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. On the first night of the competition in Blackpool, removals man Liam Bird serves up chicken surprise. What – it’s duck?! 9.00 The Family Eight-part observational series documenting family life. Kaki’s health is getting worse and she is counting down the days until Jeet returns from India. Soon, the family must pull together as they face a traumatic event. 10.00 True Blood See highlights. 11.20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan’s guests include Miley Cyrus, popular comedian Michael McIntyre and Radio 2 breakfast DJ Chris Evans. Sounds like a hoot! 12.10am 4 Music: 4Music Favourites: Alicia Keys 12.40 360 Sessions 1.10 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.00 The Dead Zone 3.45 Deadliest Catch 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Scottish Premier League 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 3.30 Scottish Premier League 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Sports Unlimited 6.00 Watersports World 7.00 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Test Cricket 1.30am Tenpin Bowling 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.30 Asian Tour Weekly 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 European Tour Weekly 5.00 European Seniors Tour Golf
Sky Sports 3 6.00am The Premiership Years 8.00 WWE Vintage Collection 9.00 World Matchplay Bowls 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Golf Special 12.00pm Asian Tour Golf 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Powder Adventures 2.30 Hyundai A League 3.00 World Matchplay Bowls 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Test Cricket (x3) 11.00 Max Power 12.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 Max Power 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Close
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1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway: All-Star Challenge 10.00 UK Border Force 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs: Liverpool
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.55 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.10 FILM: Shanghai Knights (2003) 10.00 Move Like Michael Jackson: Semi-Final 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Spooks 12.45am Move Like Michael Jackson: SemiFinal 1.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Special
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Versailles Stories 8.00 Russia: A Journey With Jonathan Dimbleby 9.00 The Art Of Russia 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.25 We Need Answers 10.55 Wallander 12.25am How Do You Solve A Problem Like Lolita? 1.25 The Art Of Russia 2.25 Mark Lawson Talks To AS Byatt
5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 7.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 9.00 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 10.00 FILM: The Last Samurai (2003) 1.00am The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009
1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 On The Buses 2.45 Rising Damp 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Ashes To Ashes (1998) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Ghostboat 11.30 Wycliffe 12.40am FILM: Sleuth (1972) 3.00 Teleshopping
1.00pm Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Sahara (2005) 11.20 Misfits 12.25am My Name Is Earl 12.50 Scrubs (x2) 1.50 Dark Angel (x2) 3.15 Joan Of Arcadia (x2) 4.45 The Class
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Catastrophe 11.05 The Year The Earth Went Wild 1.10am Time Team
11.00am The Strange Affair Of Uncle Harry (1945) 12.35pm Cattle Empire (1958) 2.25 The Yangtse Incident (1957) 4.15 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 The Wedding Date (2005) 10.40 Incendiary (2008) 12.35am Memories Of Matsuko (2006)
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thursday 17 The Restaurant BBC2, 8pm It’s the final. Raymond Blanc (left) and his two investors, Sarah Willingham and David Moore, have come down to crunch time with this final test deciding who will be their new partners. And it’s a banquet. Of course it is, and next they’ll be asking them to spin gold out of yarn. No, really, a banquet for a Lord and Lady. Coo.
Gavin And Stacey BBC1, 9pm The tight-knit in-laws continue the comedy when Pete and Dawn prepare to renew their vows. Any excuse for a party to get the gang together, so everyone piles on up to Billericay. But there’s a revelation about curry night on the horizon for Dave, and Smithy’s offer in the name of friendship goes a bit far.
Misfits E4, 10pm Things have certainly changed for our superpowered ASBO kids. Yes, they’re still cleaning the graffiti off the walls but there’s been growing and learning going on too. Except they don’t expect everyone to have done the same. The local teens have stopped getting drunk, taking drugs and having sex. Why? Good question.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Celebrity Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 The Culture Show This edition of The Culture Show features an extended interview with actor Daniel Day Lewis on the release of his latest film Nine. Andrew Graham-Dixon also looks back at the highlights of The Culture Show’s year. 8.00 The Restaurant See highlights. 9.00 Rick Stein’s Christmas Odyssey Having returned from filming his odyssey all around the Far East, Rick Stein was inspired to come up with that Christmas time dilemma – what to do with that cold turkey? 10.00 Grumpy Old Women At Christmas Never mind about grumpy old men at Christmas. Are they the ones who have to sort the presents, buy the cards, do the nightmare pre-Christmas supermarket shop? Grumblers include Sheila Hancock, Linda Robson and Germaine Greer. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Earth: The Climate Wars In this final part Dr Iain Stewart looks at the biggest challenge facing climate scientists. Just how can they predict exactly what changes global warming will bring? 12.20am The Culture Show 1.20 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Will And Grace 8.55 Hollyoaks Music Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Wife Swap USA 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Garage Wars 12.35 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.40 The Paul O’Grady Pantomime Special 1.40 FILM: Went The Day Well? (1944) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.45 The WotWots 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Milkshake! Bop Box 9.05 Pocoyo 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Home And Away 2.20 Sea Patrol UK 3.20 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.35 FILM: Picking Up And Dropping Off (2003) 5.30 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 6.00 Home And Away Ruby has a health scare. Miles nearly has a car accident. Aden acts in haste – and has to eat humble pie. These all seem to be about things that almost happen. Is there no actual news in Summer Bay? Did Pippa nearly eat too many biscuits before dinner? 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. The programme features a look at the day’s news alongside location reports, celebrity interviews and gossip. You go, girlfriend! 7.30 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action as Everton host BATE Borisov in their final Group I game. Presented by Colin Murray with commentary by Dave Woods and Kevin Ratcliff. 10.15 FILM: Enter The Dragon (1973) Starring Bruce Lee, John Saxon, Jim Kelly, Ahna Capri, Bob Wall and Shih Kien. Seminal martial arts action thriller about a student recruited by an international intelligence organisation to expose an opium and prostitution ring operating from a fortress island. That’s a lot of responsibility for a student to carry. Hope he got some kind of bursury to compensate. 12.15am SuperCasino 4.00 2009 Summer X Games 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Great Scientists 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 8.00 LIVE International Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 NFL – America’s Game 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Phil Taylor’s World 7.30 LIVE European Rugby: Challenge Cup 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 International Cricket 1.30am Phil Taylor’s World 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 Premier League Years
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders The Mitchells are back on top, but not for long. Meanwhile Amira comes face to face with her father, and Charlie has a terrible shock for Mo. 8.00 Countryfile At Christmas The presenters head to Adam Henson’s farm in the Cotswolds for Christmas dinner. Matt Baker helps Adam feed his rare-breed animals and Julia Bradbury joins him to bed the cattle down for the festive season. Time for a bit of lowing, as the carols would have it. 9.00 Gavin And Stacey See highlights. 9.30 QI Comedy quiz show where the guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gets the gist of geography with Jo Brand, Rob Brydon, Jimmy Carr and Alan Davies. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Best Of Would I Lie To You? (And Unseen Bits) A special compilation episode of the comedy panel show about truth and lies. 11.10 This Week 11.55 Skiing Weatherview 12.00am Sign Zone: Panorama What is wrong with the Royal Mail? 12.30 Life 1.30 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness 2.30 Trawlermen 3.30 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Chas gives Carl an ultimatum. Lizzie opens up to Lisa. 7.30 River Monsters Biologist and extreme angler Jeremy Wade goes on a terrifying trip to the Amazon River, which is host to a frightening collection of man-eating monsters. None of which live under your bed, so your safe to watch. 8.00 Emmerdale Charity saves Debbie from Carl. Lisa helps Lizzie face her fears. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Michelle force a confession from Carla? Sally springs an unwelcome surprise on Kevin. A mistress? Dang it! He’s already got one. 9.00 The Bill DCs Jacob Banks and Mickey Webb investigate the disappearance of teenager Saskia, whose father Eamonn is due to be released from prison having served a sentence for murder. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Nutty Professor (1996) Starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith, James Coburn. Slapstick, special-effects-filled comedy about a shy, overweight professor who invents a slimming potion in order to make himself more attractive to women. 12.25am Motorsport UK 1.15 The Cosby Mysteries 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Loretta is overwhelmed when Jake says he loves her with a gift of jewellery. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Jamie’s Family Christmas Jamie prepares some exciting alternatives to traditional Christmas deserts as his mother Sally helps him make a chocolate mousse. 8.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Reality series. In Blackpool, hotel Manager Andrea Maddocks serves up a Geordie and Lancashirethemed evening consisting of four small courses including pease pudding. Why not four large courses? 9.00 Teens And Tiaras Documentary following the organisers and participants of London’s debutante season, one of the last bastions of British elite society. I say! Fwah! 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show, with special guests Bette Midler, who chats about her new album, and JLS. 10.50 Without A Trace American drama series. Five people with a curious connection are abducted at the same time from a coffee shop. 11.45 Lives Of The Artists 12.50am The Government Inspector 2.50 The Dead Zone 3.40 Deadliest Catch 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.15 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 10.30 Asian Tour Weekly 11.00 FEI Equestrian World 11.30 Football First: Match Choice 1.00pm Powerboating 1.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 3.30 Asian Tour Weekly 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 Powder Adventures 6.30 FEI Equestrian World 7.00 Powerboating 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Test Cricket (x2) 11.00 Race World 12.00am NFL – America’s Game 1.00 Live NFL 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 FEI Equestrian World 5.30 Powder Adventures
Sky Sports 3 6.00am The Premiership Years 8.00 WWE Experience 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Powerboating 10.00 Tenpin Bowling 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 4.00 WWE Experience 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Great Run Series 7.00 Golf Night 9.00 Phil Taylor’s World 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 1.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 FEI Equestrian World 2.30 LIVE Test Cricket
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1.00pm My Breasts Could Kill Me 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am Phil Taylor’s World 1.00 Justin Lee Collins: 180
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Mad About The House 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Gavin And Stacey 12.15am The World’s Strictest Parents 1.15 Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Return To Pembrokeshire Farm 8.00 Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play 9.00 BBC FOUR Christmas Session: Fire And Ice 10.00 A Child’s Christmases In Wales 11.00 Crooked House 11.30 The Thick Of It 12.00am A Child’s Christmases In Wales
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special 7.50 The Hot Desk 8.00 Nicola McLean: Studs And Stilettos 9.00 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 4) 10.00 FILM: What Women Want (2000) 12.40am Coronation Street
2.45pm Rising Damp 3.15 FILM: Columbo: Murder With Too Many Notes (2000) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 An Audience With Freddie Starr 10.00 Taggart 11.30 Hornblower 1.30am Wycliffe
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Misfits. See highlights. 11.00 Rude Tube 11.35 Rude Tube 12.05am My Name Is Earl
5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Old Bodies 10.00 Hung 10.40 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.20 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.20am Embarrassing Old Bodies 1.20 Hung
11.00am The Sea Inside (2004) 1.35pm A Town Like Alice (1956) 3.50 The Quiet Man (1952) 6.40 Freedom Writers (2007) 9.00 Big Trouble In Little China (1986) 10.55 Gangs Of New York (2002) 2.05am The Long Day Closes (1992) 3.50 Close
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friday 18 Mister Eleven ITV1, 9pm The comedy drama continues as the aftershock of Saz’s discovery that Dan’s not her Mister Eleven leads to a ‘break’ for the pair. It’s one of those breaks you end up in because the argument’s gotten out of control and you can’t back down, no siree! Dan hides, while Saz can’t resist finding out more about Alex. Danger Will Robinson!
Comedy Showcase: Girl Friday Channel 4, 10.05pm The one-off comedy specials continue with this all-female sketch show. With such comedy circuit luminaries as Josie Long, Kerry Howard and Sara Pascoe (recently seen briefly in The Thick Of It) there should be some real gems of laughter. Hints include a predictive text Ouija board. Nice.
Move Like Michael Jackson: Auditions BBC3, 10.30pm Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s someone hoping against hope that they can dance in a similar ilk to the legendary king of pop himself – Michael Jackson. Auditions are open across the country to find 16 dance acts to perform at Jackson’s memorial. It’s what he would’ve wanted.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Living Dangerously 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Tronji 3.55 ChuckleVision 4.10 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.20 Shaun The Sheep 4.25 Shaun The Sheep 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders The Masoods’ financial troubles are over, but are other troubles afoot? They blimmin’ live in Trouble-land this lot! 8.30 A Question Of Sport Lighthearted sports quiz. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Bill Bailey and guest panellists. Rather rudely behaved for guests, don’t ya think? 9.30 Live At The Apollo The pub landlord Al Murray hosts, before introducing special guests Chris Addison and pun-meister Tim Vine. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross The final show of the series includes exclusive interviews with in a rare TV appearance from Hugh Grant; and our most successful comedy export, Eddie Izzard. Plus, there’s an interview with Rihanna. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.45 FILM: Terminal Velocity (1994) Starring Charlie Sheen, Nastassja Kinski. Action thriller. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: School Of Saatchi 2.25 DIY SOS 3.25 Delia’s Classic Christmas 4.25 BBC News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 The Secret Show 8.15 The Secret Show 8.30 Pingu 8.35 Pingu 8.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Clifford The Big Red Dog 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 FILM: Secret Santa (2003) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia breaks into the Strictly rehearsals and the Friday Panel looks forward to the weekend. 7.00 One Man And His Dog One Man and His Dog returns with the 2009 competition from Armoy in the stunning County Antrim. Rabbit! 7.40 Coast A journey around the coast of the United Kingdom. The team explore the Isle of Man. 8.00 We Are Family Documentary series looking at complicated family relationships. It has been decades since the Gough brothers were all together. Now, after years of conflict and neglect, the Goughs are coming together for a weekend-long reunion to try and overcome their differences. 9.00 Victorian Farm Christmas Historical reality programme. The team tackle the restoration of the blacksmith’s forge, which involves a full five days and nights making bricks. Aren’t bricks great? 10.00 Beautiful People Simon is plagued by school bullies and decides to leave home to be with The Beautiful People. But as usual, nothing goes according to plan. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme. 12.00am The Liberty Of Norton Folgate 1.05 Medium (x2) 2.30 FILM: The Hostage (1967)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Will And Grace 8.55 Hollyoaks Music Show 9.25 Friends 9.55 Friends 10.25 The Big Bang Theory 10.55 Willie’s Perfect Chocolate Christmas 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 1.25 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 2.25 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.45 The WotWots 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Milkshake! Bop Box 9.05 Pocoyo 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Medical Investigation 12.35pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Home And Away 2.20 Sea Patrol UK 3.20 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.35 FILM: A Christmas Memory (1997) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Rachel discovers Tony’s secret. Ruby and Geoff receive an unwelcome housemate. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 The What In The World? Quiz Two teams go head to head over four rounds of scientific questions and challenges, covering such diverse topics as poisonous plants, sailing stones and light refraction. 8.00 Axe Men Documentary series following the work of loggers in the Pacific Northwest. 9.00 NCIS Drama series following the work of the US Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The disappearance of a Navy commander reveals a plot to compromise a highly classified security project. Any other kind exist? 10.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. The investigation into the death of a young boy leads to the discovery that children are being smuggled from Nigeria to be sold into slavery. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. The investigation into the death of a pregnant teenager exposes a long-held family secret. Where babies come from, of course. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Big Ideas That Changed The World 4.40 HouseBusters 5.10 Great Scientists 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 LIVE International Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 To Be Announced 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.30 Football League Weekend 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The parishioners worry about Ashley’s behaviour. Charity finally breaks through Debbie’s tough exterior. 7.30 Coronation Street Love rat Kevin cannot resist Molly’s charms. Makes her sound like a heatherwielding magic lady. 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill introduces more of the nation’s funniest home videos. 8.30 Coronation Street Audrey meets the next best thing to Prince Charming. Surely that would be Steve or Ashley, after the tiff their lady’s had t’other night. 9.00 Mister Eleven See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000) Starring Eddie Murphy, Janet Jackson, Larry Miller, Richard Gant, Peter Segal, John Ales and Peter Segal. Madcap sequel in which portly Professor Klump’s wedding plans are scuppered by his manic alter-ego. With the help of his fiancee’s cutting-edge DNA research, he decides to fight back and rid himself of his nemesis for good – but things do not go quite the way he planned. Does any wedding? 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.20 FILM: Red Rock West (1992) 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Kris has a bash at being a student counsellor. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Reality series. Drag queen Simon Green is the third amateur chef to host in Blackpool. 8.00 Jamie’s Family Christmas Jamie demonstrates how to save time on food preparation by supplying ingredients to allow guests to create their own dishes. And wash them up? 8.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Reality series. On the final night of the competition in Blackpool, landlady Cass Walia opens the doors to her B&B and dishes the curry up. 9.00 Heston’s Christmas Feast Heston Blumenthal attempts to recreate and redesign the greatest festive feasts from history. 10.05 Comedy Showcase: Girl Friday See highlights. 10.35 The IT Crowd Sitcom. Reynholm Industries are proud to announce their first, sexy nude calendar, featuring employees. 11.05 Russell Brand’s Christmas Ponderland A special Xmas edition. 11.40 FILM: Donkey Punch (2008) Starring Jaime Winstone, Robert Boulter. Edgy British thriller. 1.35am FILM: The Black Dahlia (2006) 3.40 Gillette World Sport 4.05 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 5.00 Freesports On 4 5.25 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Barclays Premier League World 8.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Powder Adventures 12.00pm Phil Taylor’s World 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 3.30 Phil Taylor’s World 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Phil Taylor’s World 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 LIVE: Friday Fight Night Live 12.00am European Rugby 2.30 LIVE Test Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 9.00 LIVE International Cricket 5.00pm Elite League Ice Hockey 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 International Cricket 11.00 Test Cricket 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 Powerboating 3.30 Kiteboarding 4.00 The Premiership Years
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1.00pm My Breasts Could Kill Me 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Angela And Friends: Our Best Bits 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: Ten Pin Bowler 10.00 FILM: Shaft (2000) 11.55 Jack Johnson En Concert
7.00pm Swimming: Duel In The Pool - Europe V USA 9.00 Merlin 9.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Move Like Michael Jackson: Auditions. See highlights. 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Move Like Michael Jackson: Auditions 1.15 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Orson Welles Sketchbook 7.45 In The Spirit Of Diaghilev 9.00 Riot At The Rite 10.30 The Roxy Music Story 11.25 Crooked House 11.55 We Need Answers 12.25am Only Connect 12.55 Transatlantic Sessions 1.25 For Art’s Sake - The Story Of Ballets Russes
12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Judge Judy 5.00 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 5) 10.00 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) 12.15am Coronation Street (x2) 1.15 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 5)
2.00pm On The Buses 2.35 Rising Damp 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.25 Rising Damp 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide 11.05 Monsignor Renard 12.45am Nora Roberts: Tribute
12.05pm Switched Up! 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 12.00am My Name Is Earl 12.30 Scrubs (x2)
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Great Piano Scam 9.00 FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001) 11.05 Les Dawson’s Lost Diaries 12.10am FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001)
11.00am The Grass Is Greener (1960) 1.05pm Viva Max! (1969) 3.00 The Sun Shines Bright (1953) 4.50 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 7.10 Doctor Dolittle (1998) 9.00 Aliens (1986) 12.00am The 51st State (2001) 1.45 Black Christmas (1975)
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saturday 19 Strictly Come Dancing BBC1, 6.35pm & 8.40pm At times this has seemed more like The Running Man than ballroom dancing, with injuries that have knocked competitors out of the contest – and threatened their regular livelihood. But we’re here. At last. It’s the final. With the final two couples pulling out all the stops to razzle dazzle the viewers at home.
Stars On The Street ITV1, 8pm Coronation Street drifts between being a soap and a favourite auntie – one that used to flash her knickers to the boys and can make a smashing stew. Which is why so many celebrities have such a fond affection for it, gracing the cobbles over the years and reminiscing on fond times here. Don’t miss anyone.
The Big Bang Theory E4, 7pm It sounds straightforward, and it’s been done before, but this delightful comedy about the world of geekdom brings out the happy geek in all of us. Sheldon heads back to Texas in disgrace after he learns his mates tampered with the data from his Arctic expedition. Now, that’s not very friendly. But quite funny.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Olympia: The Puissance 1.45 Swimming: Duel In The Pool 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News 5.40 South East Today 5.45 Merlin
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Zombie Hotel 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Bear Behaving Badly 8.05 The Basil Brush Show 8.30 TMi 10.00 Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest 10.45 Pinky And Perky 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 The Slammer 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 The Cut 12.50 The 5:19 Show 1.20 Greek 2.10 Coast 2.30 Grow Your Own Drugs For Christmas 3.30 The Hairy Bakers’ Christmas Special 4.30 FILM: Dances With Wolves (1990)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Horrid Henry 9.55 Atomic Betty 10.10 Art Attack 10.35 FILM: Tooth (2004) 12.20pm ITV News & Weather 12.25 Best Ever Family Films 1.25 FILM: Jack Frost (1998) 3.15 FILM: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) 5.00 Meridian News And Weather 5.15 ITV News & Weather 5.30 Kids Do The Funniest Things
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Freesports On 4 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Pixie Lott Takes Off: T4 Special 9.55 4Music Favourites: Alicia Keys 10.25 Friends 11.00 Hollyoaks Music Show 11.30 Sherlock Holmes: T4 Premiere Special 12.00pm 90210 1.00 Scrubs 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.30 My First Year 4.00 My First Year 4.30 My First Year 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.35 Strictly Come Dancing See highlights. 7.40 Casualty Medical drama series. Ruth’s plans for a family Christmas are shattered. May’s practical joke on Lenny results in disaster. Adam faces the board – but where’s Jordan? 8.30 The National Lottery Draws The National Lottery draws with Jenni Falconer and special guest Ronan Keating. Wouldn’t it be a great Christmas pressie to win all that dosh? Maybe send Santa a letter asking for next year. 8.40 Strictly Come Dancing Results See highlights. 9.40 Live At The Apollo The cream of British comedic talent return to the stage at the world-famous Hammersmith Apollo. Welsh funnyman Rhod Gilbert hosts, with a rapturous guest appearance from Liverpudlian John Bishop. Bonza. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the day’s matches in the Barclays Premier League. 11.40 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin introduces some key games at the top of the Championship. 12.55am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.55 Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: Defying Gravity 2.45 Victorian Farm Christmas (x2) 4.45 BBC News
7.20 Dad’s Army Classic comedy about the Home Guard unit of Walmington-on-Sea. Capt Mainwaring has an unexpected and most unwelcome guest, much to Frazer’s delight. We’re all doomed! 8.00 A History Of Scotland Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 9.00 FILM: Blade Runner (1982) Starring Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Edward Olmos, M Emmet Walsh, Daryl Hannah. Film noir meets science fiction when a 21st-century ex-cop is given the job of hunting down a gang of replicants – genetically engineered androids with a limited lifespan – who have mutinied and returned to Earth seeking to override their mortality. 10.55 Have I Got News For You Christmas 2008 Ian Hislop and Paul Merton are joined by guest host Alexander Armstrong and guest panellists for a festive edition of the topical panel show. Except it says 2008 so can’t be that topical. Numpties. 11.25 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. It is election day back on Earth, but the Antares crew is still coming to terms with the awe-inspiring events that have just transformed the focus of the mission. 12.10am Defying Gravity 12.50 The Learning Zone: Shakespeare – The Play’s The Thing 1.50 FILM: Macbeth (1948) 3.35 BBC News
6.30 Take That: The Circus Live Relive the magic of Take That’s recordbreaking Circus tour with footage from their amazing live show at Wembley Stadium earlier this year. The show features circus performers, a hot air balloon, an inflatable ringmaster and an enormous model elephant as the boys perform classics including some of their greatest hits. Hopefully you’ll be able to spot the foursome amongst all this showmanship. A Where’s Wally pop version, as it were. 8.00 Stars On The Street See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) Starring Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Keira Knightley, Emma Thompson, Martine McCutcheon, Liam Neeson, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Andrew Lincoln. Romantic comedy drama from the writer of Notting Hill and Four Weddings And A Funeral, which weaves in and out of the love lives of eight loosely interrelated couples. In turns excesssively soppy and quite engaging. 11.30 ITV News; Weather 11.45 FILM: Ready When You Are, Mr McGill (2004) Starring Tom Courtenay, Bill Nighy, Amanda Holden. Remake of Jack Rosenthal’s classic comedy about the making of a doomed TV drama. 1.35am FILM: Igby Goes Down (2002) 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series. Glamorous ex-dancer Ria Thomas is next to cook and plans to treat her guests to a spectacular evening complete with a performance of the cancan. Ow. 6.30 Come Dine With Me Reality series. It’s Russell Dunmore’s turn to throw a dinner party and he hopes that his ambitious five dish menu will be enough to win him the cash prize. 7.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series. Stephanie reckons that all she needs to do to win the prize is let her food do the talking. 7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 Dover Castle: A Time Team Special The Time Team document the restoration of Dover Castle, a project which aimed to make over the main rooms of the castle in order to recreate them as they would have appeared during the time of Henry II. 9.00 Wife Swap The final episode of the series. Lady-of-leisure Torre Carter of Kent swaps places with mother of seven Sam Dale from Hull. 10.05 Celebrity Wife Swap Another chance to catch Freddie Starr and Sam Fox’s exchange debacle. 11.10 Wife Swap The first ever episode of the reality series. Wow. 12.15am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road 1.20 FILM: The Cheaters (1945) 2.45 Deadliest Catch 3.30 The Hills (x3) 4.50 St Elsewhere 5.35 One Tree Hill
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 The Mr. Men Show 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 Gadget Show: Gadget Of The Decade 12.00pm Britain’s Best Brain 1.00 Animal Rescue Squad 1.30 FILM: The Gnome-Mobile (1967) 3.10 Five News 3.15 FILM: Meet The Santas (2005) 5.10 Knight Rider 6.45 Five News Update 6.50 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents. Still obsessed with the Hamas operative who held some of the NCIS team hostage months ago, Gibbs is determined to catch the man. Grr. 7.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom brings in Sara Sidle from San Francisco to investigate a shooting. O0h-0oh! Hints of things to come. 8.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. When a first-class passenger dies violently on a flight to Las Vegas, Grissom and his team encounter conflicting stories from the remaining eight passengers. 9.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom investigates the murder of a woman whose battered body is found on a mountainside. 10.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom is drawn into tackling the supposedly solved case of a man awaiting trial for the murder of his wife and child. 11.40 Women Who Kill Series documenting the harrowing case files of female killers. Jennifer Twist. 12.10am SuperCasino 3.55 ‘Til Death (x2) 4.45 Rough Guide To Activity Holidays 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 12.00am NFL - Total Access 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 LIVE Test Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 Friday Fight Night 1.00pm LIVE European Rugby (x3) 8.00 LIVE: European Rugby Club Special 10.00 Golf Night 12.00am Kiteboarding 12.30 Gillette World Sport 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 NFL – America’s Game 5.30 Gillette World Sport
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1.00pm Bite Size Brainiac 1.05 FILM: George And The Dragon (2004) 2.50 FILM: An Accidental Christmas (2007) 4.30 Futurama (x4) 6.30 Avatar: A New Dimension 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Top 50 Celebrity Meltdowns 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.05 FILM: Shanghai Knights (2003) 9.55 Move Like Michael Jackson: SemiFinal (x2) 12.00am Russell Howard’s Good News Extra Xmas Special 12.45 Family Guy 1.05 American Dad! 1.30 Move Like Michael Jackson: Semi-Final (x2) 3.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra Xmas Special
7.00pm The Art Of Russia 8.00 The Poisoner 9.30 Wallander 11.00 Crooked House 11.30 FILM: Russian Ark (2002) 1.00am The Roxy Music Story 1.55 The Poisoner 3.25 The Art Of Russia
11.00am Coronation Street Omnibus 1.30pm The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 1) (x4) 5.30 FILM: Sister Act (1992) 7.35 Creature Comforts (x2) 8.00 Take That: Backstage At The Circus 9.00 The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story ‘09 10.00 FILM: King Kong (2005) 1.40am The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story ‘09
8.55am The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 10.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes (x5) 4.35 Sherlock Holmes - The Last Vampyre 6.40 Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor 9.00 FILM: Murder By Decree (1979) 11.30 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes (x3) 2.25 Surgical Spirit 2.55 Film File
12.50pm Age Of Love 1.50 Style Her Famous 2.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 The Big Bang Theory. See highlights. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 100 Greatest StandUps 1.10am Supernanny US 2.00 The Class 2.25 How To Look Good Naked
12.35pm FILM: The Undefeated (1969) 2.55 Grand Designs Revisited (x3) 6.10 Grand Designs Abroad (x2) 8.25 The First Movie 10.00 Nobel 2009 (x3) 12.25am Harold Pinter: Nobel Prize Speech 1.20 Nobel 2009 1.55 Time Team 2.55 Time Team 3.55 Close
11.00am Black Narcissus (1946) 1.00pm Inspector Gadget (1999) 2.35 Fanny By Gaslight (1944) 4.40 Gulliver’s Travels (1939) 6.20 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) 9.00 The Abyss (1989) 11.50 Solaris (1972)
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sunday 20 Ad Of The Decade ITV1, 8pm Who’d’ve thought it but people voted, the votes were counted and we’ve got a top 20 ads of the decade. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? As well as the ads themselves we get trivia and talking heads. Want to know who was wearing the monkey suit in the drumming gorilla ad? This is the place. Simples.
Dara O’Briain Talks Funny: Live In London BBC2, 11.30pm Dara is so at ease managing Mock The Week it’s easy to forget that he is a top class comic himself, as demonstrated here. As he mixes carefully crafted gags with audience interaction and a confident steady delivery, you just want to see him all over again as soon as he’s done.
Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special BBC3, 10.50pm Taking a break from the topical treats that usually fall into Russell’s line of comedic fire, he’s having a closer look at all things yuletide. Questioning the mince pie, pulling the cracker and storming the turkey, this’ll put you in the mood to finish wrapping the last few pressies.
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6.00am Breakfast 7.45 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Car Booty 12.50 Match Of The Day Live: Newcastle V Middlesbrough 3.05 EastEnders 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.40 Life
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 OOglies 7.30 Arthur 8.25 Shaun The Sheep 8.30 Bear Behaving Badly 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 FILM: The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) 12.40pm FILM: One Magic Christmas (1985) 2.05 Ski Sunday 2.50 Olympia: World Cup Showjumping 4.50 FILM: The Eagle Has Landed (1976)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Supernormal 9.50 Horrid Henry 10.05 Tricky Quickies 10.10 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.30 FILM: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) 2.20 Take That: The Circus Live 3.50 FILM: Johnny English (2002) 5.30 Meridian News 5.45 ITV News & Weather
6.20am Planet Cook 6.40 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.05 Volvo Ocean Race 8.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.25pm 90210 1.20 Friends 1.50 Ugly Betty 2.50 Friends 3.20 The Simpsons 3.50 The Simpsons 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 FILM: Miracle On 34th Street (1994)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Spanish Football
7.00 James May’s Toy Stories James May continues his quest to show what is possible with oldfashioned toys by using them on a scale never seen before. Another chance to see the Lego house. 8.00 Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May take over an entire modern art gallery in Middlesbrough and fill it with motoring-related works, including some remarkable creations of their own, in a quest to prove that cars can be more popular than traditional art. 9.00 Oz And Hugh Drink To Christmas Wine aficionado and all round drinks expert Oz Clarke teams up with Hugh Dennis in a seasonal challenge to sample every Christmas tipple past and present. The boys embrace the festive spirit as they attempt to uncover the true Christmas credentials behind some of our favourite beverages. Hic! 10.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz with guest panellists joining Ian Hislop, Paul Merton and host Jeremy Clarkson. 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights from the day’s three Premier League games. 11.30 Dara O Briain Talks Funny: Live In London See highlights. 12.30am Room 101 1.00 The Learning Zone: Shakespeare – From Page To Stage 2.00 Defying Gravity (x2) 3.30 FILM: To Let (2005)
6.00 You’ve Been Framed And Famous! Harry Hill showcases some of the best celebrity lookalike clips sent in by viewers. 7.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Christmas Special Chris Tarrant presents a special festive edition of the gameshow, as celebrity partnerships attempt to win money for their chosen charities. Playing today are Sir Terry Wogan and Chris Evans, raising money for the BBC Children in Need Appeal and CHASE Hospice Care for Children. Plus another celebrity pair will also be hoping to win big for charity. 8.00 Ad Of The Decade See highlights. 9.00 The Fattest Man In Britain New one-off drama. Georgie Godwin believes he is the fattest man in Britain. Trapped inside his house for years, his only regular contact is with a warm-hearted neighbour, and his ‘manager’, taxi driver Morris. Then one day, teenager Amy arrives to tend his garden as part of her community service order, and the unlikely pair become friends. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: Analyze This (1999) Starring Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow. Comedy about a Mafia don whose anxiety attacks force him to visit a psychiatrist. 1.05am Quincy, ME 2.05 Traffic 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Make Way For Noddy 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 The Mr. Men Show 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Hannah Montana 11.45 Zoo Days 11.50 Crusoe 12.45pm Crusoe 1.40 FILM: Scrooge - A Christmas Carol (1951) 3.25 Five News 3.30 FILM: Matilda (1996) 5.30 Heads Or Tails 6.30 The Gadget Show: Winter Special Ortis and Jason head to the mountains of Switzerland to test a range of skiing gear, Ortis visits a futuristic house in Dubai and Suzi and Jon look at computer games. Wouldn’t it be nice to have that job? 6.55 FILM: Christmas With The Kranks (2004) Starring Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis and Julie Gonzalo. Yuletide family comedy. When a suburban couple decide to forgo Christmas festivities, preferring to take a cruise to the Caribbean instead, their neighbours refuse to allow such Scrooge-like behaviour. 9.00 FILM: Dirty Dancing (1987) Starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Jerry Orbach, Cynthia Rhodes. Coming-of-age drama about a sheltered 17-year-old girl who learns a lot about life from the hotel dance instructor during a family summer vacation in the Catskills in 1963. Brought corners and watermelons into vogue for a while. 11.05 FILM: An American Haunting (2006) Starring Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, James d’Arcy. Horror thriller based on the legend of the Bell Witch, a poltergeist that tormented a family in 19th-century Tennessee. 12.50am NFL Live 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.30 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile At Christmas The presenters head to Adam Henson’s farm in the Cotswolds for Christmas dinner. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the experts head to the Scottish borders for another busy day of valuations at Abbotsford, near Melrose, once the home of Sir Walter Scott. Objects under scrutiny include a bottle used by smugglers to fool the customs men, and a miniature battle scene exquisitely hand cut by a prisoner during World War One. 9.00 Cranford Period drama. Miss Matty’s house is full of life and bustle. Her dream of having a child in the house has been realised with the birth of Tilly, daughter of her maid Martha and carpenter Jem. Elsewhere, the shadow of the railway still looms, but the line has been halted five miles outside of Cranford. 10.30 BBC News 10.50 South East Today 10.55 FILM: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Starring Jim Carrey, Ian McNeice, Simon Callow, Maynard Eziashi. Comedy sequel about the zany private detective who specialises in locating missing pets. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Grow Your Own Drugs For Christmas 1.25 Holby City 2.25 Miranda 2.55 BBC News
7.25 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: 12 Days Of Christmas 8.00 FILM: The Family Man (2000) Starring Nicolas Cage, Tea Leoni, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Piven, Saul Rubinek and Josef Sommer. Whimsical romantic comedy mixing elements from classics such as A Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life. Celestial intervention in the life of a workaholic bachelor sees him plunged into an alternative reality where he and his childhood sweetheart are happily married parents. Which do you think is the happy ending? 10.20 Father Ted Christmas Special Ted, Dougal and a host of other misfit priests become lost in Europe’s largest lingerie department as Ted’s leadership helps avoid an ecclesiastical disaster. For his services to the Church, Ted is awarded a coveted Golden Cleric. 11.30 Sean Lock: Stand Up Sean Lock, one of Britain’s favourite comedians and star of 8 Out of 10 Cats, performs in front of a packed house at the Hammersmith Apollo. Get in, my son! 12.35am Cecil B. DeMille: American Epic 1.50 Cecil B. DeMille: American Epic 3.00 Deadliest Catch 3.50 The Truth About Street Weapons 4.00 The Hills (x2) 4.50 St Elsewhere 5.40 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 Canter Banter 5.30 Seamaster Sailing 6.00 LIVE Spanish Football (x2) 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Test Cricket (x2) 2.00 Test Cricket 3.00 European Rugby Special 4.00 Test Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Seamaster Sailing 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 WWE – Tribute To The Troops 9.00 WWE Vintage Collection 10.00 Seamaster Sailing 10.30 Gillette World Sport 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Canter Banter 12.00pm Seamaster Sailing 12.30 LIVE European Rugby 2.45 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 LIVE NFL (x2) 12.30am WWE Experience 1.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 2.30 WWE Vintage Collection 3.30 Golf Night 5.30 FEI Equestrian World
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2.05pm FILM: Christmas Caper (2007) 3.45 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 5.30 The Simpsons (x2) 6.30 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 8.00 Got To Dance Warm-Up 9.00 George Michael Live In London 10.30 Bones 11.30 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 1.00am Got To Dance Warm-Up 1.55 Road Wars
9.00pm Move Like Michael Jackson: Final 10.05 Family Guy 10.30 American Dad! 10.50 Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special. See highlights. 11.20 Gavin And Stacey 11.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.20am Move Like Michael Jackson: Final 1.25 Young, Dumb & Living Off Mum
7.00pm The Truth About Christmas Carols 8.00 Games Britannia 9.00 Bennett On Bennett 9.10 Cardigans At Christmas 10.00 The Andy Williams Christmas Show 10.30 Your Date With Val 11.20 Queens Of British Pop 12.25am Queens Of British Pop 1.25 Cilla 2.10 The Sandie Shaw Supplement
2.50pm Animals Do The Funniest Things 3.50 Take That: Backstage At The Circus 4.50 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2009 (Part 5) 5.50 The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story ‘09 6.55 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 9.00 FILM: What Women Want (2000) 11.35 FILM: The Fugitive (1993) 2.15am Supernatural
12.05pm The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes (x2) 2.20 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes (x2) 4.40 Sherlock Holmes - The Master Blackmailer 6.55 Sherlock Holmes: Hound Of The Baskervilles 9.00 Sherlock: Case Of Evil 11.00 FILM: Murder By Decree (1979) 1.20am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes (x2)
1.35pm Dark Angel 2.30 Reaper (x2) 4.20 Friends (x2) 5.25 FILM: Jingle All The Way (1996) 7.05 One Tree Hill 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Derren Brown: The Events 10.00 FILM: Lucky Number Slevin (2006) 12.15am Sam Taylor Wood’s Nowhere Boy 1.20 Supernanny US 2.35 How To Look Good Naked
12.15pm Scrapheap Challenge 1.20 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.05 Come Dine With Me (x5) 6.55 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 8.00 Christmas At River Cottage 9.00 What’s Really In Your Christmas Dinner 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Hung 12.20am Curb Your Enthusiasm
11.00am The Grass Is Greener (1960) 1.00pm The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 2.45 Donovan’s Reef (1963) 4.55 The Thief Of Bagdad (1940) 7.00 The Wedding Planner (2001) 9.00 Solaris (2002) 10.55 Black Snake Moan (2006) 1.10am Night Watch (2004)
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monday 21 Victoria Wood: Seen On TV BBC2, 8.30pm Kicking off a night of delightful Victoria Wood treats is this retrospective, with clips from sketches, stand-up, songs and characters Victoria has created. Add to that exclusive interviews with friends and fans of the great lady, including Dawn French, Julie Walters and Sir Roger Moore, and it’s a cracking start.
Ugly Betty Channel 4, 10pm You know how Betty and Marc have been doing this editors’ course for the last ‘for ages’? And how they finished it only a few weeks ago? Well, one of the editors at Mode has only gone and popped their clogs! I know! It’s BlackBerrys at dawn for those two. Oh, and Justin finds out if he got into performing arts school.
Film: The Family Stone E4, 10pm This 2005 comedy drama takes your actual nightmare of introducing your new girlfriend to your family for Christmas. It’s not that she’s nasty or they’re mean, just that... you know... they just don’t gel. So much so that she has to call her sister to come over and join her! Starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Diane Keaton.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Car Booty 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Only Fools And Horses 3.00 Keeping Up Appearances 3.30 Murder, She Wrote 4.15 Escape To The Country 5.00 The Weakest Link: Blue Peter Special
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.05 Arthur 7.30 Inside Life 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 Wainwright’s Walks 9.00 Great Railway Journeys 9.50 FILM: The Barefoot Executive (1971) 11.25 Who Do You Think You Are? 12.25pm Victorian Farm 1.25 FILM: In Which We Serve (1942) 3.15 Ready Steady Cook 4.00 Coast 5.00 James May’s Toy Stories
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders
6.25am Sali Mali 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 FILM: Aquamarine (2006) 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 The Simpsons 10.30 St Trinian’s 2: T4 Premiere Special 11.05 Alexandra Burke: Under The Skin 12.05pm FILM: The Ten Commandments (1956) 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Or Santa 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Simpsons
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 Little Princess 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 The Mr. Men Show 9.50 Olivia 10.00 Roobarb And Custard Too 10.10 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 11.10 How The Ashes Were Won 12.00pm Five News 12.15 Ice Road Truckers 1.10 Crusoe 2.05 Five News Update 2.20 FILM: A Grandpa For Christmas (2007) 4.10 Five News Update 4.25 FILM: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) 6.00 Heads Or Tails Gameshow presented by Justin Lee Collins in which contestants stand to win one million pounds on the toss of a coin. 7.00 Studio Five’s Jacko Tribute The programme features a special tribute to Michael Jackson. 8.00 Nature Shock Documentary series examining freak occurrences in the natural world. Focussing on the circumstances surrounding the gruesome events of January 2004 when a dead sperm whale exploded in the middle of a Taiwan street. 9.00 Michael Jackson: The Last Days Documentary exploring the circumstances surrounding the tragic death of Michael Jackson, featuring exclusive interviews with Jackson’s former manager Frank DiLeo, chef Kai Chase, nurse practitioner Cherilyn Lee and numerous friends. 10.00 Michael Jackson’s 30th Anniversary Concert Michael Jackson’s shocking death in June left a huge gap in the music world. This 30th anniversary concert, first aired in 2001, includes performances by Destiny’s Child, Whitney Houston and Luther Vandross, as well as classic performances by Jackson himself. 11.50 Michael Jackson Not For Sale One-off documentary exploring the extraordinary history MJ. 12.50am SuperCasino 4.00 True Horror 4.55 ‘Til Death 5.15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 LIVE International Cricket: India V Sri Lanka 5.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 SPL Round-Up 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 12.00am Football League: League Two 1.30 Netbusters 2.00 SPL Round-Up 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Netbusters 5.00 Max Power
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen Nigella Lawson enjoys the run-up to Christmas and prepares her Christmas larder in advance. 8.00 EastEnders Stacey and Bradley return, but their blissful happiness is torpedoed when Stacey uncovers a mystery. Meanwhile, Jane discovers Christian and Syed’s affair. 8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker asks the questions in a festive edition of the sports quiz. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases and bringing criminals to justice. Commit to photographic memory and look squintily at that fella who sits next to you on the bus. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host presents the funniest bits from his last series. 11.20 Crimewatch Update Don’t have nightmares. He does look dodgy. 11.35 FILM: Tombstone (1993) Starring Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer. Gripping, action-packed account of the battle for law in the Old West. 1.35am Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: Beautiful People 2.10 Life 3.10 Natural World 4.00 Defying Gravity 4.45 BBC News
6.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Twelve Days Of Christmas A typically madcap Hairy Bikers’ journey through the verses of one of the most popular Christmas songs. 7.00 Victorian Farm Christmas Historical reality programme. Repeat of Friday’s show. 8.00 University Challenge University of Manchester fight it out with King’s College, London, in a bid to reach the quarter-final. Watch them bare their teeth in battle. Grr! 8.30 Victoria Wood: Seen On TV See highlights. 10.00 Victoria Wood With All The Trimmings Victoria Wood serves up a large helping of Christmas comedy, with an impressive list of celebrities appearing in a series of pastiches including a 50s big band show, a Dickensian saga, a tale of a northern brass band, and a documentary set aboard a cruise liner. 10.55 Dinnerladies Bittersweet sitcom. The work do becomes incredibly formal and mock-Japanese. Everything goes well for Bren until her mother turns up and gets stuck into the sake. 11.25 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. It is the day of the Venus landing, a historic and dangerous event. 12.05am Defying Gravity 12.50 The Learning Zone: Shakespeare - From Stage To Screen 1.50 FILM: The Baby’s Room (2006) 3.05 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sally schemes her way into Ashley’s favour. 7.30 Coronation Street Tina is suspicious and unsure whether Jason’s love is genuine. A demanding Molly pushes Kevin for answers. 8.00 Countrywise Paul Heiney and Rachel de Thame continue their summer journey across Britain, visiting the most visually spectacular and unusual parts of the country. 8.30 Coronation Street Tina finds solace in Nick. Will Becky’s Prince Charming fall for Cinders Claire? Peace and goodwill to men with that pair? Fat chance! 9.00 A Night Of Heroes: The Sun Military Awards Phillip Schofield and Amanda Holden host this event paying homage to the British Armed Forces from the Imperial War Museum. Some of the biggest stars from the world of entertainment and sport come together to pay tribute to these brave men and women. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.05 FILM: Analyze That (2002) Starring Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow. Gangster comedy sequel following the unlikely relationship between a mafia don and his analyst. 12.50am Christmas Tales: The Legends Of Santa 1.45 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 Hollyoaks A furious Malachy hits the bottle after finding out about Mercedes and Calvin’s affair. 6.30 Hollyoaks Calvin finds himself alone with Mercedes. Hannah’s odd behaviour concerns Darren. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: 12 Days Of Christmas 8.00 Come Dine With Me At Christmas Cookery-based reality show. In this special Christmas edition, four chefs from York take turns to prepare and serve one course of a four-course banquet to one another in their own homes. There aren’t enough banquets about these days. Something should be done. 9.00 Man On Earth Documentary series in which Tony Robinson examines how our ancestors have handled violent climate change. In this programme, Robinson looks at the downfall of three great civilisations – the Maya, the Vikings and the cliff-dwelling Puebloans. Hopefully they got up again. Or maybe we just took over. Robinson will know – he’s great. 10.00 Ugly Betty See highlights. 11.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.05am King Of The Hill 12.35 King Of The Hill 1.00 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 2.05 FILM: Le Divorce (2003) 4.05 The Hills 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 NFL 6.30 European Rugby Special 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Netbusters 10.30 SPL RoundUp 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 NFL 3.30 International Cricket 5.30 SPL Round-Up
Sky Sports 3 6.00am European Rugby Special 7.00 Golf Night 9.00 European Rugby Special 10.00 World Darts Championship 3.00pm European Rugby Special 4.00 WWE Raw 7.00 WWE – Tribute To The Troops 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.15 Wild Spirits 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
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4.30pm Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Michael Jackson’s Private Home Movies (x2) 9.00 Road Wars Xmas Special 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 Bones 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 UK Border Force 12.40am Road Wars
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 8.00 Wallace And Gromit: The Wrong Trousers 8.30 Don’t Get Screwed 9.00 Move Like Michael Jackson 10.00 EastEnders 10.35 Family Guy 11.00 American Dad! 11.20 Russell Howard Live 12.30am Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special
7.00pm Private Life Of A Christmas Masterpiece 7.50 Bennett On Bennett 8.00 The Story Of Allegri’s Miserere 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Games Britannia 10.00 How To Win At Chess 11.00 Jackie Stewart: The Flying Scot 12.30am Graham Hill: Driven 1.30 Jim Clark: The Quiet Champion
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x2) 6.15 Creature Comforts 6.30 The ITV2 Panto: Jack And The Beanstalk 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Christmas Special 9.00 FILM: Gremlins (1984) 11.15 Coronation Street (x2)
11.25am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.35pm Jane Eyre 4.00 FILM: The Adventures Of Pinocchio (1995) 5.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Lewis 11.00 The Bill: Unforgiven 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.00 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 2.55 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
12.10pm Switched Up! 1.10 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 FILM: The Family Stone (2005). See highlights. 12.05am FILM: Lucky Number Slevin (2006) 2.15 Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Vs Santa 7.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 8.00 Willie’s Perfect Chocolate Christmas 9.00 The Family At Christmas 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.10am The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition
11.00am The Quiet Man (1952) 1.40pm A Town Like Alice (1956) 3.55 Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 6.40 The Land Girls (1998) 9.00 John Tucker Must Die (2006) 10.45 Gangs Of New York (2002) 1.55am Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
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tuesday 22 The Funny Side Of Christmas BBC2, 8pm Perfect wrapping-up telly. With Clive Anderson presenting this festive clip show you can trip down tinselled Memory Lane with Christmas Top Of The Pops, Morecambe & Wise, The Royle Family, Gavin & Stacey and loads more. You’ll be dressing yourself in fairy lights before the end.
Paradox BBC1, 9pm The whole idea of self-fulfilling prophecies sticks in the craw of Rebecca – chiefly because she might be involved in them. And they’re not constructive; it’s more killing people and mass mayhem. So when they get a new batch of images of all of the team, including Bex’s hand on a gun that’s done some toting, it’s sad faces.
Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Review Of 2009 BBC4, 10.30pm When you look back at the telly of the year, is it something that fills you with pride? It certainly doesn’t for Charlie Brooker as he marvels at Britain’s Got Talent and The Execution Of Gary Glitter, as well as others that get his goat. There’ll be some begrudged praise too though. Hopefully.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Car Booty 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Only Fools And Horses 3.00 Keeping Up Appearances Christmas Special 3.30 Murder, She Wrote 4.15 Escape To The Country 5.00 The Weakest Link
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Arthur 7.25 Inside Life 7.55 Gimme A Break 8.25 Wainwright’s Walks 8.55 Great Railway Journeys 9.45 FILM: Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968) 11.25 Who Do You Think You Are? 12.25pm Victorian Farm 1.25 FILM: Merry Christmas (2005) 3.15 Ready Steady Cook 4.00 Coast 5.00 James May’s Toy Stories
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders
6.05am Planet Cook 6.25 The Treacle People Christmas Special 6.40 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.10 Max Bear And The Lucky Charm 7.40 FILM: Rugrats Go Wild (2003) 9.10 Friends 9.45 Friends 10.20 The Simpsons 10.55 Ugly Betty 11.55 FILM: Dick Tracy (1990) 1.55pm FILM: Tristan + Isolde (2006) 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Or Santa 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Simpsons
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 SPL RoundUp 10.00 World Darts Championship 3.00pm Netbusters 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 SPL Round-Up 5.00 Netbusters 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 12.00am Revista De La Liga 1.00 Hyundai A League 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Sports Unlimited
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Archie’s threats escalate, but Ronnie has graver concerns on her mind. Meanwhile, Stacey makes a hard decision about her future. 8.00 Holby City Linden and Holly prepare for Christmas when an old friend arrives, forcing Linden to face his long-standing feelings of guilt over the death of his wife. 9.00 Paradox See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Arts and culture series. Scrabble is going through a renaissance. The younger generation have rediscovered the game online – through the copyright-busting Scrabulous – and they’re having night after night on the tiles. Lana Botney sets out to discover why the word game leaves us spellbound. 11.40 FILM: Holiday In Handcuffs (2007) Starring Melissa Hart, Mario Lopez. A struggling artist working as a waitress loses her boyfriend and flunks a job interview. Feeling like a failure, she determines to bring home the perfect boyfriend for Christmas. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.45 Rick Stein’s Christmas Odyssey 2.45 Wonderland: The Alzheimer’s Choir 3.25 Defying Gravity 4.10 BBC News
6.00 Christmas With Terry And June Terry Scott and June Whitfield star in this suburban comedy of marital ups and downs. Adore the wallpaper. Got to. 6.30 FILM: Dad’s Army (1971) Starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, John Laurie, James Beck, Clive Dunn. Feature-length version of the classic sitcom about the Home Guard unit of a small seaside town. 8.00 The Funny Side Of Christmas See highlights. 9.00 Mock The Week Special festive edition of the topical show with Dara O Briain and his little helpers – Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons. Dare anyone to call Frankie Boyle an elf to his face. Go on. 9.30 Buzzcocks: The Doctor Who Special David Tennant hosts a special Dr Who-themed show. Repeat. 10.00 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Bill Bailey and two guests. 10.45 The Culture Show Six months on from the death of Michael Jackson, Culture Show re-evaluates his impact on modern music. 11.45 Michael Jackson Live In Bucharest: The Dangerous Tour 1.45am Michael Jackson Top Of The Pops 2 Tribute 2.35 BBC News
6.00 – 8.20am Chidlren’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 Little Princess 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 The Mr. Men Show 9.50 Olivia 10.00 Roobarb And Custard Too 10.10 Animal Rescue Squad 10.35 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 11.35 Five News 11.50 Ice Road Truckers 12.50pm Crusoe 1.45 Five News Update 2.00 FILM: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (2001) 3.50 Five News Update 4.05 FILM: Santa Who? (2000) 6.00 Heads Or Tails Gameshow presented by Justin Lee Collins. See if you can remember the theme tune for the ‘70s kids telly programme of the same name. Love Derek Griffiths. 7.00 Studio Five’s Reality TV Special Magazine show. 8.00 Nature Shock Documentary series examining freak occurrences in the natural world. This film examines the discovery of a mysterious animal in the remote Canadian Arctic Circle. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A husband-and-wife con team are suspected of foul play when a woman is found dead in the swimming pool of a mansion they are house-sitting. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom and Catherine investigate a case in which the fingerprints of a dead kidnap victim show up at a crime scene. Meanwhile, Sara and Warrick have a difference of opinion over how a woman died. Not peacefully. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A building collapse that kills three elderly women has Catherine puzzled and at odds with the district engineer. 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 True Horror 4.55 ‘Til Death 5.15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Maisie and Ryan struggle to hide their feelings for one another. Will Lisa have the nerve to bare all for the art class? Not before the watershed, missie! 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the work of Britain’s clean-up crews. Tony, Gary and Luke face an abandoned house filled with televisions, none of which are plugged in. Maybe it’s the aliens watching us... 8.00 Coastline Cops Cameras follow the men and women who look after the 10,500 miles of Britain’s coastline. Except for that bit, there. 9.00 The Bill First of two parts. DCs Webb and Banks investigate when the body of a young man is fished from the Thames. Not a merman. Doesn’t matter how much you ‘believe’, it’s just not. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Basic Instinct (1992) Starring Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, George Dzundza, Jeanne Tripplehorn. Erotically charged thriller in which a reckless cop falls for the chief suspect in a murder case. She’s got a nifty line in leg-crossing too. Ruder than rude in its own time. 12.50am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 Hollyoaks Hannah announces she’s packing in college. 6.30 Hollyoaks Tom is worried about how Santa’s going to get into the house to deliver his presents. Good point that kid! Lock-picking devices? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: 12 Days Of Christmas 8.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Christmas Special A festive special of the cookery-based reality show. The stars include David Gest, Hannah Waterman, Diarmuid Gavin and Sherrie Hewson. 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon’s two top restaurants, the Pheasant from Cambridgeshire and the Swan from Kent, battle it out in the kitchen, cooking a festive menu of stilton starters, main courses of stuffed rabbit and loin of venison and Christmas pudding souffles for 50 diners. Positively makes you feel like a slimmer when you think of yours. 10.20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special Special festive edition. Guests include Cilla Black, David Walliams and Justin Lee Collins, plus The Saturdays. 11.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.55 The Big Bang Theory 12.30am Bullrun 2009 1.05 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 2.05 Gillette World Sport 2.35 Volvo Ocean Race 3.25 The Hills (x3) 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.25 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Seamaster Sailing 10.00 Football League: League Two 11.30 Netbusters 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Football League: League Two 3.00 Athletics 4.00 Powder Adventures 4.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 5.00 NFL America’s Game 6.00 Sailing: RC44 Cup 6.30 The Dogs 7.00 World Cup Of Pool 8.00 Trilby Golf Tour 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Trilby Golf Tour 2.00 The Dogs 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Trilby Golf Tour
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Netbusters 6.30 SPL RoundUp 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Athletics 9.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 9.30 Canter Banter 10.00 Max Power 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 1.00 Athletics 2.00 Powder Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 Asian Tour Golf Review 7.00 Golf: PGA Pro-Am Championship 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Sports Unlimited 10.00 Asian Tour Golf Review 11.00 Golf: PGA Pro-Am Championship 12.00am World Cup Of Pool 1.00 World Matchplay Bowls 3.00 Showjumping Victoria Nangle
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4.00pm Got To Dance Warm-Up 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your TenYear-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Christmas Guinness World Records Smashed! 9.00 War Torn Warriors 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 Lie To Me 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 UK Border Force (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Shrek The Halls 8.25 FILM: Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2004) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Special 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Christmas Special 12.45am The Real Hustle: The Twelve Scams Of Christmas
7.50pm Bennett On Bennett 8.00 Oliver Postgate: A Life In Small Films 9.00 Clement Freud: In His Own Words 10.00 We Need Answers 10.30 Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Review Of 2009. See highlights.11.10 John Mortimer: A Life In Words 12.10am The Orson Welles Sketchbook
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Creature Comforts 5.30 Gossip Girl 6.30 The ITV2 Panto: Cinderella 8.00 You’ve Been Framed And Famous! 9.00 FILM: King Kong (2005) 12.40am FILM: The Matrix (1999) 3.10 Emmerdale 3.35 The Ricki Lake Show
1.30pm Pollyanna 3.30 FILM: Free Willy (1993) 5.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 9.00 Another Audience With Freddie Starr 10.00 Christmas Lights 11.35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.40am FILM: The Last Tycoon (1976) 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
1.10pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.05 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks (x3) 8.40 Friends (x2) 9.45 The 100 Greatest Kids’ TV Shows 11.30 Alan Carr’s Christmas Ding Dong 12.20am Scrubs (x2) 1.20 Beauty And The Geek (x2)
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Vs Santa 7.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 8.00 Christmas At River Cottage 9.00 Heston’s Christmas Feast 10.00 True Stories 12.10am Christmas At River Cottage
11.00am The Sun Shines Bright (1953) 12.50pm The Yangtse Incident (1957) 2.35 The Emperor’s New Clothes (2001) 4.40 The League Of Gentlemen (1960) 6.50 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 9.00 The Wedding Date (2005) 10.40 White Noise 2: The Light (2007) 12.30am Once Upon A Time In The West (1968)
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wednesday 23 TOTP2: Christmas Special 2009 BBC2, 7.30pm Mark Radcliffe walks and talks us through the old favourites that define Christmas time. Just because you’ve heard them in all of the shops doesn’t mean the sight of Noddy Holder swinging those hips won’t warm your eggnog. More classics from Tom Jones, Kirsty MacColl and Wham.
The Nolans: In The Mood For Dancing ITV1, 8pm Forget Loose Women and bestselling books – this is where The Nolans started. Singing! For the first time in 25 years they reform to embark on a sell-out tour, and we get a glimpse backstage. Oh, and discover how they traded in their rags to riches. Interviews and clips included.
Film: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon More4, 10.05pm The trigger for the recent Chinese/Western cinema crossover comes in this epic tale of romance, battles and honour in the 19th century. Oh, and with wicked wire work that takes swordfighting to another level of grace and compulsive viewing. Expect spontanteous applause.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Car Booty 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Only Fools And Horses 3.00 Keeping Up Appearances 3.30 Murder, She Wrote 4.15 Escape To The Country 5.00 The Weakest Link: Sporting Heroes Special
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.05 Arthur 7.15 Arthur 7.30 Inside Life 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 Wainwright’s Walks 9.00 Great Railway Journeys 9.50 FILM: Cinderella (1964) 11.10 Who Do You Think You Are? 12.10pm Victorian Farm 1.10 FILM: Carve Her Name With Pride (1958) 3.05 Ready Steady Cook 3.50 Coast 4.50 James May’s Toy Stories 5.50 Rick Stein’s Christmas Odyssey
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Wilde Stories 7.25 Famous Fred 8.00 Lost And Found 8.30 Friends 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 The Simpsons 10.30 Pink: Funhouse Live 11.35 Avatar Film Special 12.05pm FILM: James And The Giant Peach (1996) 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Come Dine With Me 2.40 Come Dine With Me 3.10 Come Dine With Me 3.40 Come Dine With Me 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Or Santa 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Simpsons
6.00 – 8.20am Chidlren’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 Little Princess 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 The Mr. Men Show 9.45 Olivia 10.00 Roobarb And Custard Too 10.10 Animal Rescue Squad 10.35 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 11.35 Five News 11.50 Ice Road Truckers 12.50pm Crusoe 1.45 Five News Update 2.00 FILM: All I Want For Christmas (2007) 3.50 Five News Update 4.05 FILM: Mrs Miracle (2009)
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 World Darts Championship 3.00pm Football Asia 3.30 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.30 Hyundai A League 6.00 Super League 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 School Of Hard Knocks 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Super League Super Tries 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Big Top Comedy series set in and around a travelling circus. Lizzie is on cloud nine after learning that her circus has a chance to perform in the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics. 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama. Lindsay nervously takes the stand during her mother’s trial, and Jo is nominated for an Outstanding Teacher Award. 9.00 Spooks Drama series about the British Security Service. With India and Pakistan on the brink of war, emergency talks are set up in an exclusive London hotel. Section D faces its biggest challenge yet, as the team tries to avert the first nuclear confrontation since World War II. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws. 10.45 Not Going Out Sitcom. Lee’s father turns up at the flat unannounced. Not a popular move. 11.15 FILM: Six Days, Seven Nights (1998) Starring Harrison Ford, Anne Heche, David Schwimmer, Jacqueline Obradors. Romantic comedy adventure. 12.50am Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: Countryfile At Christmas 1.55 Country Tracks 2.50 Cranford 4.20 BBC News
6.50 Porridge Christmas special of the classic sitcom from 1975. The festive season falls upon the inmates of HMP Slade and finds them planning an escape. Is it a ‘great’ one? Maybe it involves a motorbike, a baseball mitt and linguistics. Hope. 7.30 TOTP2: Christmas Special 2009 See highlights. 9.00 The Grumpy Guide To Christmas Meet the new breed of grumpies: a bit younger but no less embittered. Ozzy Osbourne considers himself lucky to have missed it one year following a quad bike injury; Huey Morgan would rather throw burning conifers off the roof; and John Thomson confuses his parents by sending them anonymous cards. 10.00 Russell Howard Live Live stand-up from Russell Howard, star of Russell Howard’s Good News and Mock The Week, recorded at The Bloomsbury Theatre during his sellout 2007 tour. 11.10 QI XL Extended version of the comedy quiz show where the guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gets the gist of geography with Jo Brand, Rob Brydon, Jimmy Carr and Alan Davies. 11.55 Mock The Week Special festive edition of the topical show. 12.25am Have I Got News For You 12.55 The Rules Of Film Noir 1.55 FILM: The Reckless Moment (1949) 3.15 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain goes on the warpath after learning that Charity has stayed in the village. 7.30 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp TV Burp fans get a second chance to enjoy the vintage gags and sketches that have had everyone in stitches. Harry Hill is on fine irreverent form as he introduces ribtickling moments from the archives. 8.00 The Nolans: In The Mood For Dancing See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) Starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones. Comedy sequel with more embarrassments and romantic messes for the diary-keeping heroine. Watch with your folks and they’ll thank their lucky stars it’s not you. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.35 Christmas Tales: Angels Three-part series in which Fiona Phillips examines the phenomenon of festive icons. In this programme, she delves into the history of angels, including the most famous of them all – the Archangel Gabriel. 12.30am FILM: Stealing Christmas (2003) 2.00 Loose Women 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.25 CITV: Captain Mack 5.35 Paz 5.40 Captain Mack 5.55 ITV Morning News
6.00 Hollyoaks Darren finds Hannah being sick and, furious that she lied to him, he throws her out. 6.30 Hollyoaks All is not well in the Ashworth house, despite Hannah’s return. Darren is having a very lonely Christmas, so Jake, Steph and Fernando decide to sing carols outside his window. Bless. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: 12 Days Of Christmas 8.00 River Cottage Heroes Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall invites some of the food heroes who have worked alongside him over the past 12 years to a fabulous four-course dinner at River Cottage. 9.00 The Family Eight-part observational series. The day of the wedding arrives and bride Shay hopes that her estranged mother will make an apperance. 10.00 True Blood Fantasy adventure series. Sookie, Sam and Bill confront the murderer. Is that really wise? Who is it anyway? Go on – tell! 11.10 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Chef Gordon Ramsay presents the fast-paced food magazine show. Repeat of yesterday’s show. 12.30am 4 Music: Editors Live At Fabric 1.00 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 2.50 Deadliest Catch 3.40 The Truth About Street Weapons 3.50 The Hills (x2) 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.20 One Tree Hill
6.00 Heads Or Tails Gameshow presented by Justin Lee Collins in which contestants stand to win one million pounds on the toss of a coin. Go on, sneak Derek Griffiths on, even as just a contestant. Where is he now? Bring back DG! 7.00 Studio Five’s Best Bits Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. Featuring highlights from the series. 8.00 Giant Snake Invasion With Nigel Marven Documentary exploring Florida’s growing problem with invading Burmese pythons, whose rapidly increasing numbers are threatening a unique ecosystem. The film features exclusive footage of a wild nest, an awesome python strike slowed down 200 times and an encounter with the largest python ever found in the US. That’s filled us with Christmassy goodness shivers and a determination to be careful in Florida. And we thought Disney World was the scariest thing there. 9.00 Greatest Christmas Comedy Moments Entertainment show featuring a rundown of classic clips, from rib-tickling sketches to farcical sitcoms. Highlights include scenes from Only Fools and Horses, Dad’s Army and The Office. Grab the box of choccies and dive in. 12.05am PartyPoker.com World Open V 4.00 Cathouse 4.55 ‘Til Death 5.15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Golf: 2009 President’s Cup Official Film 9.00 Golf: US Open Official Film 10.00 Hyundai A League 10.30 Sailing: RC44 Cup 11.00 Trilby Golf Tour 1.00pm Revista De La Liga 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 The Dogs 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Matchplay Bowls 6.00 Golf: 2009 President’s Cup Official Film (x2) 8.00 Trilby Golf Tour 10.00 School Of Hard Knocks 12.00am Trilby Golf Tour 2.00 Golf: US Open Official Film 3.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 4.00 Trilby Golf Tour
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Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Revista De La Liga 8.00 World Matchplay Bowls 10.00 Golf: PGA Pro-Am Championship 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm World Matchplay Bowls 2.00 Golf: US Open Official Film 3.00 Asian Tour Golf Review 4.00 Golf: US Open Official Film 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Tenpin Bowling 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Golf: US Open Official Film 11.00 Golf: 2009 President’s Cup Official Film 12.00am Trans World Sport 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Tenpin Bowling 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Max Power Victoria Nangle
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2.30pm Modern Family (x4) 4.30 Futurama (x3) 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Michael Jackson’s Private Home Movies (x2) 9.00 War Torn Warriors 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 Bones 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 1.10am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 FILM: Shanghai Noon (2000) 9.45 The Noughties ... Was That It? 10.00 Ballet Boyz: The Rite Of Spring 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Special (x2) 12.45 Spooks 1.45 Move Like Michael Jackson 2.45 Ballet Boyz: The Rite Of Spring 3.45 Ideal Xmas
7.00pm Private Life Of A Christmas Masterpiece 7.50 Bennett On Bennett 8.00 Russia: A Journey With Jonathan Dimbleby 9.00 The Art Of Russia 10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Review Of 2009 10.40 We Need Answers 11.10 Wallander 12.40am The Art Of Russia 1.40 We Need Answers
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x2) 6.15 Creature Comforts 6.30 The ITV2 Panto: Dick Whittington 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 11.45 FILM: The Matrix Reloaded (2003) 2.20am Emmerdale 2.45 Teleshopping
9.50am FILM: Carry On Jack (1963) 11.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.50pm Jane Austen’s Emma 4.10 FILM: Free Willy 3: The Rescue (1997) 5.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.05am FILM: The Ice Harvest (2005) 1.45 On The Buses (x2) 2.35 Surgical Spirit 3.00 Teleshopping
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks (x2) 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The 100 Greatest Kids’ TV Shows 11.15 Misfits 12.15am My Name Is Earl 12.40 Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Dark Angel (x2) 3.10 Young, Sexy And... Busted
6.05pm Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 8.00 Jamie Cooks Christmas 9.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Christmas Special 10.05 FILM: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000). See highlights. 12.25am Celebrity Come Dine With Me Christmas Special
11.00am The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 1.25pm Gulliver’s Travels (1939) 2.55 The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 5.10 Cutthroat Island (1995) 7.05 America’s Sweethearts (2001) 9.00 The Truman Show (1998) 10.55 The 51st State (2001) 12.40am Lantana (2001)
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Film: The Corpse Bride ITV1, 6pm Tim Burton’s fantastical musical stop-motion animation is magical. Nuff said? Alright, it features the voices of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Emily Watson and tells the story of Victor, who thoughtlessly puts the wedding ring of his betrothed on the skeletal finger of a corpse bride. D’oh! Top story though.
Victoria Wood’s Midlife Christmas BBC1, 9pm The BAFTA award-winning actress and comedian has a brand new Christmas special. Yay! With highlights including the Midlife Olympics 2009, original costume drama ‘Lark Pies To Cranchesterford’ and a special appearance from the brilliant Julie Walters, you can’t do better.
Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 Sky 1, 6pm Noel Edmonds grabs his big bag of pressies and heads out that door to find some of the nation’s most selfless and deserving people. Then he gives them some very special festive presents. Ahh. Good will to all men and all that actually being put in to action. Spread the joy.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Dani’s House 9.30 Doctor Who: Dreamland 10.15 Shaun The Sheep 10.25 FILM: Home On The Range (2004) 11.35 FILM: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006) 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.10 South East Today 1.15 The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook 2.15 FILM: The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe (2005) 4.25 FILM: Over The Hedge (2006) 5.45 FILM: Shrek 2 (2004)
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook Christmas Special 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.05 Arthur 7.30 Inside Life 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 Wainwright’s Walks 9.00 Great Railway Journeys 9.50 FILM: Pinocchio (2002) 11.30 Coast 11.50 FILM: South Pacific (1958) 2.15pm The Tsarina’s Slippers 4.45 James May’s Toy Stories 5.45 Dad’s Army
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Christmas Cooks Challenge 10.25 FILM: Curious George (2006) 12.00pm Best Ever Christmas Films 1.00 ITV News & Weather 1.15 Hercule Poirot’s Christmas 3.15 The Old Curiosity Shop 5.15 Creature Comforts 5.45 ITV News & Weather
6.10am Planet Cook 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Wilde Stories 7.30 The Bear 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.05 Friends 9.35 The Simpsons 10.10 JLS Christmas Crackers 11.15 Shooting Cheryl Cole 11.45 FILM: The Nativity Story (2006) 1.35pm The Snowman 2.10 FILM: Three Men And A Baby (1987) 4.10 Jamie’s Family Christmas 4.40 Jamie’s Family Christmas 5.10 Jamie’s Family Christmas 5.45 Jamie’s Family Christmas
6.00 – 7.30am Chidlren’s television 7.30 Roary The Racing Car 7.40 Noddy In Toyland 7.50 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.05 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas – Calling All Engines 9.30 Little Princess 9.45 The Mr. Men Show 10.00 Hana’s Helpline 10.15 Olivia 10.30 Rupert Bear 10.40 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 11.40 Five News 11.55 Ice Road Truckers 12.55pm Crusoe 1.50 Five News Update 2.05 FILM: Angel In The Family (2004) 3.55 Five News Update 4.10 FILM: The Christmas Box (1995)
7.10 BBC News 7.25 South East Today 7.30 EastEnders Peggy leads the breaking Mitchells in a final act of defiance against Archie. It’s practically a Christmas panto on the Square. Watch him twist his evil moustache. Mwah hah hah! 8.00 My Family Sitcom about a dentist and his family. It is December 2039, and the Harpers are gathering together to celebrate Christmas. With a ‘greed gift exchange’, a rival cousin and a Nativity play battle, there may not be too much room for goodwill. 9.00 Victoria Wood’s Midlife Christmas See highlights. 10.00 QI Comedy quiz show. Stephen Fry guarantees you a groovy Christmas, with David Tennant, Bill Bailey, Lee Mack and Alan Davies. 10.30 Live At The Apollo Irish gem Ed Byrne hosts, with guest appearances from Adam Hills and London’s own Gina Yashere. 11.00 The Best Of The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson A compilation of the best of the series, showing nobody is safe while Culshaw and Stephenson are taking the mickey out of celebrity culture. 11.30 BBC News 11.45 Christmas Midnight Mass From Westminster Cathedral 1.00am Skiing Weatherview 1.05 FILM: Serendipity (2001) 2.30 News
6.15 Carols From King’s A Celebration of Christmas from The Chapel of King’s College Cambridge. The story of the Nativity is told in the familiar words of the King James Bible, along with Christmas poems by Cecil Day Lewis and Ted Hughes. The famous chapel choir sing carols. 7.30 The Good Life The Goods and the Leadbetters plan their respective Christmases, but neither go according to plan. Classic comedy. 8.00 Victorian Farm Christmas Historical reality programme. Christmas is coming to Acton Scott, but first there’s a huge amount of preparation to do. Ruth Goodman and food historian Ivan Day try their hand at making a Christmas pudding using the same methods as Bob Cratchit’s wife in A Christmas Carol. 9.00 FILM: The Hound Of The Baskervilles (2002) Starring Richard Roxburgh, Ian Hart, Richard E Grant, Matt Day, Neve McIntosh. Adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s chilling thriller. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson have to confront the forces of evil on Dartmoor when they are called in to investigate the gruesome death of Sir Charles Baskerville. 10.40 The Grumpy Guide To Christmas Repeat. 11.40 The Funny Side Of Christmas Repeat. 12.40am Comedy Songs: The Pop Years 2.10 FILM: Gilda (1946)
6.00 FILM: Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride (2005) See highlights. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Christmas Special Harry Hill presents a festive edition of the home video show, featuring Christmas catastrophes caught on camcorders and mobile phones. 8.00 Emmerdale Cain is incensed when he learns that Carl attacked Debbie. Ashley is saddened to be facing Christmas without Laurel and the children. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Molly finally end it with Kevin? Nick’s return is not welcomed by his little brother David. It’s all about to kick off. 9.00 Taggart 100th episode of the Glasgow based detective drama. When a debut crime novel includes the detailed description of a murder identical to that of an unsolved case, the team begin to suspect that the novelist was involved in the crime. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.15 Christmas Carols With The Troops Sir Trevor McDonald presents a service for those serving in Afghanistan from St Clement Danes. 11.15 FILM: Shakespeare In Love (1998) Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes. Romantic comedy. 1.20am Christmas Tales: The Story Of The Tree 2.15 Motorsport UK 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.25 CITV: Captain Mack 5.35 Paz 5.40 Captain Mack 5.55 ITV Morning News
6.15 Jamie’s Family Christmas Festive cooking series. 6.45 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Or Santa A special Christmas edition of the game show. Contestants choose a bauble from the Banker’s tree, with their fortunes dictated by whether they find a Scrooge or Santa inside it. 7.45 Channel 4 News 8.00 Heston’s Christmas Feast Heston attempts to recreate and redesign the greatest festive feasts from history, including a lavish appetiser loved by King Charles II and a favourite snack of the Roman emperors. Full just thinking of it. 9.00 Secret Millionaire Series in which a millionaire goes undercover in a deprived area in the hope of changing someone’s life with a generous gift of their own hardearned money. Taxi baron John Griffin, whose enterprise is worth more than 50 million pounds, goes incognito in Newcastle, in search of locals who need his help. 10.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Christmas Special A festive special of the cookery-based reality show. Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special Repat of Tuesday’s show. 12.10am FILM: Slither (2006) 1.55 Dispatches: Terror In Mumbai 2.50 Deadliest Catch 3.35 The Hills (x2) 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 One Tree Hill
6.05 Heads Or Tails Gameshow presented by Justin Lee Collins in which contestants stand to win one million pounds on the toss of a coin. Following the trend of gameshows that concentrate on luck. No pesky studying for this one, matey. 7.05 FILM: A Christmas Carol (1999) Starring Patrick Stewart, Richard E Grant, Bernard Lloyd, Saskia Reeves, Ian McNeice, Joel Gray and Desmond Barrit. Adaptation of Dickens’ classic tale of hope, compassion and the uplifting power of the spirit. Patrick Stewart stars as miser Scrooge, who despises the festive season until he is visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. Then he’s just scared. 9.00 Celebrity Shock List 2009 Special programme exploring the 50 most outrageous occurrences in the world of the rich and famous in 2009. Among the bombshells examined are Madonna’s repeated attempts to adopt Malawian children, Susan Boyle’s overnight launch onto the world stage, the BBC’s ageism row, and the separation of Katie Price and Peter Andre. 11.05 Simon Cowell: Where Did It All Go Right? Documentary exploring the extraordinary success of Simon Cowell. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.00 Cathouse 4.55 ‘Til Death 5.15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour
6.00am Super League Super Tries 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Watersports World 7.55 Trans World Sport 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.00pm Barclays Premier League World 5.30 The Rugby Club 6.30 Football League Weekend 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Gillette Soccer Special: Christmas 10.00 Where Are They Now? 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am Gillette Soccer Special: Christmas 2.00 Where Are They Now? 3.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.30 Football League Weekend 4.30 Where Are They Now?
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 10.00 World Darts Championship 3.00pm Tenpin Bowling 4.00 Powder Adventures 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 Hong Kong Cricket Sixes 2009 6.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 7.00 Hong Kong Cricket Sixes 2009 8.00 The Ashes Regained 10.00 International Cricket 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.00 The Ashes Regained 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 Super League Super Tries
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 Watersports World 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 9.30 Watersports World 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Race World 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Steve Davis’ Greatest Snooker Trickshots 8.00 Netball: Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 2.00 Steve Davis’ Greatest Snooker Trickshots 4.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 5.00 The Rugby Club
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2.15pm FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 4.00 Got To Dance Warm-Up 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009. See highlights. 7.30 Got To Dance Warm-Up 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 Bones 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 Road Wars 12.40am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 The Noughties... Was That It? 10.30 EastEnders 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35 The Noughties... Was That It? 3.05 Move Like Michael Jackson: Final 4.15 The Real Hustle: The Twelve Scams Of Christmas 5.30 Close
7.00pm The Orson Welles Sketchbook 7.15 A Child’s Christmases In Wales 8.15 Swan Lake 10.30 BBC FOUR Christmas Session: Fire And Ice 11.30 Michael Wood On Beowulf 12.30am Only Connect 1.00 Ten Best Sacred Christmas Classics 2.00 Ghosts In The Machine 3.00 BBC FOUR Christmas Session: Fire And Ice
1.05pm Creature Comforts 1.15 The ITV2 Panto: Dick Whittington 2.55 The ITV2 Panto: Cinderella 4.30 The ITV2 Panto: Jack And The Beanstalk 6.05 The ITV2 Panto: Aladdin 7.40 Creature Comforts (x2) 8.00 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) 10.10 FILM: Gremlins (1984) 12.20am Coronation Street
12.50pm The Flint Street Nativity 2.05 Christmas Lights 3.40 A Christmas Carol 5.15 Rising Damp Christmas Special 5.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 9.00 FILM: Overboard (1987) 11.20 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.25am A Christmas Carol 2.40 Drama Trails 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
1.30pm Hollyoaks (x3) 3.25 FILM: Jingle All The Way (1996) 5.05 Friends (x8) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 My Name Is Earl 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 How I Met Your Mother 11.30 Fonejacker Christmas Special 12.00am Russell Brand’s Christmas Ponderland
11.15am FILM: Freaky Friday (1977) 1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 3.00 Come Dine With Me 4.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas (x3) 7.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 8.05 100 Greatest Christmas Moments 12.05am Father Ted Christmas Special
11.00am Donovan’s Reef (1963) 1.05pm Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) 3.15 An Affair To Remember (1957) 5.30 Miracle On 34th Street (1947) 7.20 Dumb And Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) 9.00 Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994) 11.15 District 13 (2004) 12.55am Black Christmas (1975) 3.05 Close
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Top Of The Pops Christmas BBC1, 2pm Campaigners to bring back the format found everyone’s favourite baddie coming to their aid earlier this year in the form of Simon Cowell. What’s topping the charts? Cynically we could guess it’s the X-Factor winner, but it’s Christmas, so we won’t. Fab chart music including Lily Allen, Robbie Williams and Dizzee Rascal.
Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special BBC1, 7pm Brucey and Tess may have found their winner for 2009 but there’s still the Christmas 2009 competition to be won. The final three from 2009’s competition will be joined by Gethin Jones, Rachel Stevens and Austin Healey to compete. Feeling that Christmas dinner much?
Royal Institution Christmas Lectures More4, 7pm Time to learn stuff at Christmas, and it doesn’t have to be about tradition and religion. Nope, this has ecologist Professor Sue Hartley showing the epic 300million-year war between plants and animals and how it has shaped our lives. Who will win? Can either? Learning stuff. Nice.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 FILM: Ingenious 10.15 Christmas Day Eucharist 11.15 The Sarah Jane Adventures 12.10pm BBC News 12.25 FILM: The Santa Clause (1994) 2.00 Top Of The Pops Christmas. See highlights. 3.00 The Queen 3.10 FILM: The Incredibles (2004) 4.55 Shrek The Halls 5.20 BBC News 5.30 The Gruffalo
6.00am Bob The Builder Snowed Under: The Bobblesberg Winter Games 7.00 CBeebies Panto 7.30 Inside Life 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 Wainwright’s Walks 9.00 Great Railway Journeys 9.50 FILM: Heidi (2005) 11.30 Star Of Bethlehem 12.30pm FILM: Kiss Me Kate (1953) 2.15 FILM: White Christmas (1954) 4.10 La Boheme
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Christmas Cooks Challenge 10.25 Creature Comforts 10.55 FILM: Santa Claus - The Movie (1984) 1.00pm ITV News & Weather 1.10 FILM: The Polar Express (2004) 3.00 HM The Queen 3.10 You’ve Been Framed At Christmas! 3.40 FILM: Happy Feet (2006) 5.40 ITV News & Weather
6.00am Yo Gabba Gabba 6.30 Little Wolf’s Book Of Badness 7.00 Wilde Stories 7.30 Olive, The Other Reindeer 8.25 The Simpsons 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 The Simpsons 10.35 Beyonce: I Am Yours - An Intimate Performance From Wynn, Las Vegas 11.40 FILM: Honey, I Blew Up The Kid (1992) 1.25pm Only When I Dance 3.00 The Alternative Christmas Message 3.10 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Or Santa 4.15 FILM: Annie (1982)
6.00am Close 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Net Crackers 10.00 Soccer AM: Christmas Special 12.00pm To Be Announced 1.00 Gillette Soccer Special: Christmas 3.00 Net Crackers 3.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 4.00 Soccer AM: Christmas Special 6.00 To Be Announced 7.00 Net Crackers 7.30 Soccer AM: Christmas Special 9.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.00 Cricket: How The Ashes Were Won 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket
6.00 Doctor Who It is Christmas Eve, and the Doctor is reunited with Wilf to face the return of an old enemy. Grab that cushion now! 7.00 Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special See highlights. 8.00 EastEnders With the Mitchells nursing their bitterness in all corners of the Square, Archie finally has the Vic to himself – but one by one his legion of enemies return with murder on their mind. Wouldn’t be Christmas without misery in Albert Squre. 9.00 The Royle Family There’s a new buzz in the Royle family household, as it’s a special time for Jim and Barbara and a celebration is planned. 10.00 Gavin And Stacey Comedy. It is Bank Holiday Monday, and the Essex contingent arrives for a sunny day out at the beach. 10.30 Catherine Tate: Nan’s Christmas Carol It’s Christmas Eve and Nan receives some unexpected visitors, in the form of Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. 11.20 BBC News 11.30 On Christmas Night Julie Fernandez reads the story of the first Christmas from Matthew’s Gospel. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.45 FILM: Speed (1994) Starring Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock. Fast-paced action. 1.35am Weatherview 1.40 News
6.00 The Private Life Of A Christmas Masterpiece Botticelli’s Mystic Nativity is a painting that lovers of mystery fiction should love: a Renaissance masterpiece crammed with cryptic symbols disguising a dangerous message. 6.50 The Queen Her Majesty the Queen’s Christmas message to the nation and the Commonwealth. 7.00 James May’s Toy Stories James attempts to build the longest ever model railway track – a whopping ten miles long. 8.00 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Mainwaring’s Home Guard platoon decides to give a turkey dinner to the old-age pensioners of Walmington-on-Sea. 8.30 Blackadder The Third Sitcom. The regent is low on cash, so Edmund sets out to find him a bride with a big dowry. Is it a cunning dowry? 9.00 Top Gear Repeat of Sunday’s episode. 10.00 Oz And Hugh Drink To Christmas Wine aficionado and all round drinks expert Oz Clarke teams up with Hugh Dennis in a seasonal challenge. 11.00 The Funny Side Of Chat Clive Anderson accompanies us through embarrassing chat moments on TV. 12.00am QI 12.30 Record Never Mind The Buzzcocks: Where Are They Now? 1.00 TOTP2: Christmas Special 2009 2.30 FILM: Stella Street (2004)
6.00 Emmerdale Debbie is angry to discover that Cain and Charity are still at odds. Jimmy and Nicola are excited about spending their first Christmas with Angelica. 7.00 Coronation Street Will Molly and Kevin stick to their plan and reveal all to Sally? Tina is tense and suspicious of Nick’s intentions. And the way he looks. Dead different. 8.00 All Star Mr & Mrs Christmas Special Today Joan Collins and husband Percy Gibson, Spice Girl Emma Bunton and her partner Jade Jones, and Corrie’s Andrew Whyment and wife Nichola battle it out to win big money for their chosen charities. 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot New drama based on Agatha Christie’s bestselling novel. The wealthy wife of an eccentric British aristocrat is found murdered while with her family on an archaeological hunt in Syria. A holidaying Poirot is soon drawn into the mystery. Hope he gets paid extra! 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: Gladiator (2000) Starring Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed and Richard Harris. Award-winning action drama set in Roman times, about a once-powerful general who is forced to become a gladiator. 2.05am FILM: One Million Years BC (1966) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.25 CITV: Captain Mack 5.35 Paz 5.40 Captain Mack 5.55 News
6.35 The Secret Millionaire Changed My Life Scrap metal tycoon Gary Eastwood returns to Blackpool. In the eight months since his last visit, he has more than doubled his donations to the town. Now, he takes his privileged son Antony to see what changes the money has made to the terminally ill children at Donna’s Dream House and the recovering addicts at Vincent House homeless shelter. Sob. 7.40 Channel 4 News 7.45 Katie: My Beautiful Face A budding model and TV presenter who was the victim of a horrific acid attack which destroyed her face tells her story for the first time. 8.50 The Alternative Christmas Message Channel 4’s traditional counterpoint to the Queen’s Christmas Day broadcast. 9.00 FILM: Grey Gardens (2009) Starring Drew Barrymore, Jessica Lange, Jeanne Tripplehorn. Drama following the story of Jackie Onassis’s aunt and first cousin who lived in squalor and isolation in a dilapidated mansion named Grey Gardens in Suffolk County, New York. 11.05 Lee Evans: Big: Live At The O2 Stand-up comedy. 12.10am David Blaine: Frozen In Time 1.10 A Bear’s Chrimbo: Top 20 3.00 Deadliest Catch 3.45 The Hills (x2) 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.25 One Tree Hill
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Fireman Sam Christmas Special 7.25 Mio Mao 7.30 The Milkshake! Show Christmas Special 7.55 Noddy Saves Christmas 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.40 Thomas & Friends 8.55 Roary The Racing Car 9.10 Little Princess 9.40 The Mr. Men Show 9.50 Hana’s Helpline 10.05 Olivia 10.20 Animal Rescue Squad 10.50 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 11.50 Polar Bear Adventure With Nigel Marven 12.50pm Ice Road Truckers 1.50 Crusoe 2.50 Five News 3.05 FILM: Call Me Claus (2001) 5.00 Heads Or Tails 6.00 FILM: High Society (1956) Starring Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly, Celeste Holm. A highclass but haughty socialite is about to be married for the second time. But on the eve of her wedding, her first husband realises that he is still madly in love with her and attempts to win her back. The tuneful Cole Porter score is just Crimbo lush. 8.00 Gadget Show: Gadget Of The Decade The presenters take a look back at the last ten years of technology, focusing on music, gaming, photography, computing and telecommunications. Groovy. 9.00 The ABBA Years Documentary exploring the remarkable success of ABBA, featuring interviews with the band members, footage of tours and stage shows and digitally remastered archive footage. 10.00 Mamma Mia: Where Did It All Go Right? Light-hearted documentary examining the extraordinary success of Mamma Mia, the musical film and stage production. 11.00 FILM: ABBA: The Movie (1977) Starring Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Agnetha Faltskog. Tongue-in-cheek romp following the spangle-suited superstars on a tour of Australia. 12.50am SuperCasino 4.00 Cathouse 4.55 ‘Til Death 5.15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour
Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Ashes Regained 8.00 Where Are They Now? Christmas 09 Special 9.00 Ice Skating: Holiday Festival On Ice 10.00 Ice Skating: Smokey Robinson Tribute On Ice 11.00 The Ashes Regained 1.00pm Where Are They Now? Christmas 09 Special 2.00 Golf: 2009 President’s Cup Official Film 3.00 Golf: US Open Official Film 4.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 5.00 The Ashes Regained 7.00 Bermuda Classic Rugby 8.30 Super League Super Tries 9.00 Tight Lines 10.00 Bermuda Classic Rugby 11.30 Super League Super Tries 12.00am LIVE NFL
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Steve Davis’ Greatest Snooker Trickshots 11.00 Netball: Super League 1.00pm Ice Skating: Holiday Festival On Ice 2.00 Ice Skating: Smokey Robinson Tribute On Ice 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 Ice Skating: Holiday Festival On Ice 6.00 Ice Skating: Smokey Robinson Tribute On Ice 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Ice Skating: Holiday Festival On Ice 9.00 Ice Skating: Smokey Robinson Tribute On Ice 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 Bermuda Classic Rugby Victoria Nangle
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4.30pm Got To Dance Warm-Up 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family (x4) 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 Got To Dance Warm-Up 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 George Michael Live In London 1.10am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who Confidential: Lords And Masters 8.00 Top Of The Pops Christmas 9.00 FILM: Billy Elliot (2000) 10.45 Shrek The Halls 11.05 Jack-Jack Attack 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am EastEnders 1.00 Gavin And Stacey 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special
7.00pm FILM: Citizen Kane (1941) 9.00 Arena: The Orson Welles Story - Part 1 10.50 FILM: Journey Into Fear (1942) 12.00am Cardigans At Christmas 12.50 The Secret Life Of The Airport (x3) 3.50 High Flyers: How Britain Took To The Air 5.30 Close
1.40pm The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story ‘09 2.40 Stars On The Street 3.40 Coronation Street 4.10 Emmerdale 4.40 Creature Comforts 4.55 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 7.00 FILM: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) 9.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 11.40 Coronation Street 12.40am Emmerdale
1.10pm Rising Damp Christmas Special 1.40 FILM: Carry On Cruising (1962) 3.30 FILM: Carry On Cowboy (1965) 5.25 FILM: On The Buses (1971) 7.15 FILM: Mutiny On The Buses (1973) 9.00 FILM: Holiday On The Buses (1974) 10.50 FILM: The Best Of Benny Hill (1974) 12.30am Christmas Lights
9.15am FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 11.05 Merlin’s Apprentice2.35pm Lost And Found 3.05 Friends (x8) 7.05 FILM: Picture Perfect (1997) 9.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x6) 1.30 Walliams And Lucas: New Heroes Of Comedy 2.35 Earthsea 4.05 Earthsea
3.00pm 100 Greatest Christmas Moments 7.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures. See highlights. 8.00 Making War Horse 9.00 The Royal Ballet In Cuba 10.40 Strictly Bolshoi 12.20am Lee Mack Live 1.25 Deal Or No Deal: Scrooge Vs Santa 2.30 The Royal Ballet In Cuba
11.00am A Christmas Carol 12.35pm Porridge (1979) 2.25 Lassie (2005) 4.15 Time Bandits (1981) 6.35 The Family Man (2000) 9.00 Elf (2003) 10.50 Final Destination 3 (2006) 12.35am A Dirty Shame (2004) 2.15 Persona (1966)
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Ant & Dec’s Christmas Show ITV1, 7.30pm As you’re more than likely sitting with all of your family on this, the last day before the trains start running again, it’s nice to hark back to the all-round variety show of yester-Christmas that won’t embarrass your gran or bore your niece. Celeb pals, sketches, audience participation and live music with the boys.
The Morecambe And Wise Christmas Show: 1973 BBC2, 9.10pm Bringing back bygone nostalgia, even if you were just a twinkle in an eggnog-soaked eye when this first went out. Joining the comedy pair are special guests of the era Vanessa Redgrave, Hannah Gordon, the New Seekers and John Hanson, as well as other cameos. Fab.
Hercule Poirot’s Christmas ITV3, 7.50pm You know that family member that just made Christmas a little less comfortable than it could be? Well, multiply that by lots and you’ve got Simeon Lee, a man who previously murdered his partner for diamonds and left the woman he loved. Well, he just got deaded. But he was provoking his own murder. Oooh! Whodunnit?
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.40 FILM: Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005) 1.15pm BBC News 1.25 South East Today 1.30 FILM: Bridge To Terabithia (2007) 3.00 FILM: Flushed Away (2006) 4.20 BBC News 4.35 South East Today 4.40 FILM: Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (2005)
6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Shaun The Sheep 8.05 Shaun The Sheep 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 The Basil Brush Show 9.00 Bear Behaving Badly 9.25 Dani’s House 9.55 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.20 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.50 Living Famously 11.50 BBC Proms 2009: A Celebration Of Classic MGM Film Musicals 1.55pm FILM: An American In Paris (1951) 3.45 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 4.30 Final Score 5.05 Hamlet 8.10 Victorian Farm Christmas Historical reality programme. Christmas is coming to Acton Scott, but first there’s a huge amount of preparation to do. Ruth Goodman and food historian Ivan Day try their hand at making a Christmas pudding using the same methods as Bob Cratchit’s wife in A Christmas Carol. Reepat. 9.10 The Morecambe And Wise Christmas Show: 1973 See highlights. 10.15 The Story Of Slapstick Slapstick comedy special narrated by Miranda Hart charting the highs and lows of physical comedy and examining the audience’s love of visual humour. Featuring pies and pratfalls from over a century of comedy and entertainment programming. 11.15 The Young Ones Anarchic sitcom about a group of North London students in the 80s. A bout of illness puts a strain on Vivian’s usual easygoing approach to communal living. 11.45 Shooting Stars Hit comedy panel show presented by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, with team captains Jack Dee and Urika Jonsson. Joined by the biggest baby, George Dawes and Angelos, from that hot food van near Uxbridge. 12.15am FILM: Carry On Follow That Camel (1967) 1.50 FILM: Build My Gallows High (1947)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Christmas Cooks Challenge 10.25 All Star Mr & Mrs Christmas Special 11.25 I Dreamed A Dream - The Susan Boyle Story 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.40 FILM: Racing Stripes (2005) 2.30 Goodnight Mister Tom 4.40 FILM: March Of The Penguins (2005)
6.10am Sali Mali 6.15 Planet Cook 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freesports On 4 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 T4’s Stars Of 2009 11.55 90210 12.50pm Scrubs 1.20 Scrubs 1.50 Channel 4 Racing 4.05 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.35 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.05 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.35 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Angels Of Jarm 7.05 Milkshake! Bop Box 7.10 Fireman Sam 7.20 The WotWots 7.35 Rupert Bear 7.45 Hana’s Helpline 7.55 Make Way For Noddy 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 The Mr. Men Show 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.55 Milkshake! Bop Box 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 FILM: The Angel Of Pennsylvania Avenue (1997) 1.00pm FILM: Snow White (2001) 2.50 FILM: Titanic (1996) 6.20 Heads Or Tails Gameshow. 7.10 Five News 7.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A highspeed police chase ends with the discovery of a severed head in the stolen car. Later, a headless corpse is discovered in the desert and the CSI team get to work seeing if the two cases are connected. Hmm. 8.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama. After Grissom finds evidence to suggest an alleged suicide victim was deliberately electrocuted, he, Warwick and Sara search a building site for more clues. 9.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama. The CSI team investigate the murder of a rare-book restorer. 10.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama. The CSI team investigate when a young woman’s nude body is found partially buried in a sandbox. 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama. When the CSIs discover that all of the victims of a serial killer still on the loose were born in the same month as Grissom, Gil realises that he could be the killer’s next target. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 House Doctor (x2) 4.50 Rough Guide To Short Breaks 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 Super League Super Tries 8.00 Net Crackers 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 Total Wipeout: Celebrity Special Richard Hammond presents the game show. Ten celebrity contestants, including actor Joe Swash, Olympic legend Fatima Whitbread and Strictly Come Dancing couple James and Ola Jordan, compete for £10,000 for their charity. 7.00 EastEnders As Walford struggles to come to terms with the brutal murder of Archie Mitchell, the suspects begin to emerge. By the end of the day, the police have one of them in handcuffs – but is it the killer? Can’t be that simple. 7.30 FILM: Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End (2007) Starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Jack Davenport, Geoffrey Rush. In the final instalment of the buccaneering trilogy, Jack Sparrow is trapped in Davy Jones’s Locker, and in his absence the East India Trading Company is taking over the seas. Gadzooks! Jack’s former crew and his friends must join forces with Captain Barbossa to save Captain Sparrow. 10.05 The National Lottery Draws 10.15 BBC News 10.25 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker hosts highlights from Boxing Day’s Premier League fixtures. 11.50 The Football League Show Goals from around the country. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 FILM: Bull Durham (1988) 2.55 BBC News
6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Review Of The Year Big-collared comic Harry Hill applies his forensic eye for comedy detail to all the telly you thought he had missed while he was away. 7.00 You’ve Been Framed At Christmas! More home-grown comedy for the post-Christmas comedown. 7.30 Ant & Dec’s Christmas Show See highlights. 8.45 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special Vernon Kay hosts an all-soap Christmas edition. Today Coronation Street’s Webster family take on the Kings from Emmerdale. Who will win the big money for their chosen charity? 9.30 All Star Impression Show Stephen Mulhern presents a comedy and entertainment extravaganza in which celebrities show off their hidden talents for mimicry. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Above Suspicion Feature length drama by Lynda La Plante. DC Anna Travis is assigned her first case – investigating a series of brutal and ritualistic murders of young women. Inexperience and keeness. Dangerous combination. 12.40am FILM: The Graduate (1967) 2.25 Six Degrees 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.25 CITV: Captain Mack 5.35 Paz 5.40 Captain Mack 5.55News
6.05 Deal Or No Deal Noel Edmonds hosts the show where luck gives you the chance to win up to a quarter of a million pounds. Or 1p. 7.05 Channel 4 News 7.10 FILM: Crocodile Dundee (1986) Starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon, David Gulpilil. Comedy about an unconventional, laid-back Australian crocodile hunter who gives an American reporter a taste of his hairraising adventures. 9.00 Decoded: Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol Tony Robinson investigates the tangled truths behind Dan Brown’s blockbuster mystery novel, The Lost Symbol. 10.00 The Real Da Vinci Code Documentary on the fact and fiction surrounding Dan Brown’s international bestseller, The Da Vinci Code. Brown insists that although the work is fiction, much of the book is based on fact. But is the Catholic Church involved in an elaborate conspiracy? 11.05 The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year 2005 Jimmy Carr presents a celebrity quiz show in which Jonathan Ross, Sharon Osbourne, Gordon Ramsay and Rob Brydon demonstrate their awareness of the stories of 2005. 1.05am FILM: Aeon Flux (2005) 2.40 The Truth About Street Weapons 2.50 The Dead Zone 3.35 The Hills (x3) 4.50 St Elsewhere 5.40 One Tree Hill
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Super League Super Tries 6.30 Golf: 2009 President’s Cup Official Film 7.30 LIVE Test Cricket 3.30pm Super League Super Tries 4.00 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 6.30 Knockouts Of 2009 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Living With The Pride - 2009 Lions Tour 10.30 Knockouts Of 2009 11.00 Living With The Pride - 2009 Lions Tour 12.00am LIVE Test Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 NFL - America’s Game 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 NFL 3.00 NFL - Total Access 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 WWE The Bottom Line 7.00 NFL 9.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Knockouts Of 2009 2.30 NFL 4.30 Knockouts Of 2009 5.00 Sports Unlimited
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6.00pm Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your TenYear-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 9.00 Got To Dance WarmUp 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 War Torn Warriors 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 Ross Kemp Behind The Story 12.10am Ross Kemp Remembers Afghanistan
7.00pm The Gruffalo 7.30 EastEnders: The Sins Of Archie Mitchell 8.25 FILM: Father Of The Bride (1991) 10.05 Family Guy (x2) 10.50 EastEnders 11.20 EastEnders: The Sins Of Archie Mitchell 12.15am FILM: Father Of The Bride 2 (1995) 1.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Special (x2)
7.00pm The Orson Welles Sketchbook 7.15 FILM: The Third Man (1949) 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Review Of 2009 11.10 We Need Answers 11.40 Cowards 12.10am Secret Life Of The Motorway (x3) 3.10 Caravans: A British Love Affair
1.35pm Stars On The Street 2.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Christmas Special 3.40 You’ve Been Framed And Famous! 4.40 Coronation Street 5.40 Emmerdale 6.40 Creature Comforts (x2) 7.25 FILM: Jack Frost (1998) 9.30 FILM: Notting Hill (1999) 11.55 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Review Of The Year
3.25pm Sherlock Holmes: Hound Of The Baskervilles 5.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.50 Hercule Poirot’s Christmas. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 11.55 FILM: Clue (1985) 1.45am Goodnight Sweetheart 2.35 On The Buses 3.00 Teleshopping
2.00pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Peep Show (x6) 12.20am Sacha Baron Cohen: New Heroes Of Comedy 1.25 Supernanny US 2.05 How To Look Good Naked 3.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus
12.05pm Time Team (x3) 3.05 FILM: On The Town (1949) 5.00 FILM: The Bridge On The River Kwai (1957) 8.05 FILM: Strictly Ballroom (1992) 10.00 The Car Man 11.45 Eddie Izzard: Dress To Kill 1.05am Deal Or No Deal 2.10 FILM: Strictly Ballroom (1992)
11.00am The Thief Of Bagdad (1940) 1.00pm The Family Man (2000) 3.20 Inspector Gadget (1999) 4.55 School Of Rock (2004) 7.00 The Wedding Planner (2001) 9.00 X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 11.00 Kung Fu Hustle (2004) 12.55am Black Snake Moan (2006)
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12:21 PM
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sunday 27 Tsunami: Where Was God? Channel 4, 7pm It’s that question every man of any cloth is asked: how can a just and merciful God allow such human suffering, specifically the Asian tsunami, to occur? Former Dominican Friar Mark Dowd speaks to survivors of the disaster zone, theologians and Professor Richard Dawkins about their opinions.
Steve Coogan – The Inside Story BBC2, 9pm An unconventional look at the best of Steve Coogan’s telly work. From early rare clips to interviews with some of his collaborators – including Julia Davis, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer – as well as Steve himself as his Irish auntie Peggy and his first showbiz agent.
One Tree Hill E4, 7pm It’s the season finale! You’d almost forgotten in the onslaught of mince pies and small chocolates wrapped in big papers. Lucas and Peyton prepare for the birth of their child, Nathan returns home to face Hayley and Jamie after the Chiefs let him go, and Dan is close to death. Good ole finales.
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6.00am Breakfast 7.50 Match Of The Day 9.15 FILM: Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron (2002) 10.30 FILM: Paulie (1998) 11.55 BBC News 12.05pm EastEnders 3.05 FILM: Chicken Run (2000) 4.25 Songs Of Praise 5.00 The Weakest Link: West End Theatre Special
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Brum 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Uncle Max 7.15 OOglies 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Shaun The Sheep 8.05 Shaun The Sheep 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 The Basil Brush Show 9.00 Bear Behaving Badly 9.25 Dani’s House 10.00 Animal Park 10.30 FILM: The Pixar Story (2007) 11.55 FILM: Gigi (1958) 1.45pm Campion 3.35 Coast 4.35 FILM: The Heroes Of Telemark (1965)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.10pm FILM: Home Alone 4 (2002) 1.50 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Ant & Dec’s Christmas Show 3.15 FILM: The Scorpion King (2002) 5.00 Meridian News And Weather 5.15 ITV News & Weather 5.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Review Of The Year
6.25am The Treacle People 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 7.55 The British Gas Great Swim Series 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Chipmunk: T4 Special 10.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 1.30pm 90210 2.35 Friends 3.10 4Music Favourites: Black Eyed Peas 3.45 The Simpsons 4.20 The Simpsons 4.50 FILM: Crocodile Dundee II (1988)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE World Darts Championship 11.00 Knockouts Of 2009 11.30 Super League Super Tries 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket
6.45 James May’s Toy Stories James attempts to build the longest ever model railway track – a whopping ten miles long. Didn’t he try that last week? Blimmin repeats! 7.45 Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May are dropped deep in the Bolivian rain forest armed only with three 4x4s which they bought from the local small ads for a maximum of £3500 each. They attempt to drive from the heart of Bolivia to the coast of Chile, encountering drug lords and the debilitating effects of high altitude. But before that, they’ve got to escape from the deep centre of the rain forest. Practically a game for the PS3. 9.00 Steve Coogan - The Inside Story See highlights. 10.00 Knowing Me, Knowing Yule With Alan Partridge Alan Partridge, TV’s top chatter-man, presents with his very own Christmas special. Set in an exact replica reproduction of the interior of his own house in Norwich, Alan invites you to a Christmas house-part. 10.45 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights from the day’s games in the Premier League. 11.35 I’m Alan Partridge Comedy series charting the rise and fall of a char show host. 12.05am I’m Alan Partridge 12.35 QI 1.05 Defying Gravity 1.45 FILM: Farewell My Lovely (1945) 3.20 News
6.00 Dancing On Ice: The Story Of Bolero With Torvill And Dean The story of how Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean achieved ice dancing’s first ever perfect score for their routine performed to Ravel’s Bolero at the Winter Olympics in Sarajevo 25 years ago. 7.00 Midsomer Murders Barnaby and Jones are called to investigate an explosion at a haulage yard run by Territorial Army officer Matt Parkes and his ruthless son James. James is involved in some shady activities, but is he capable of arson or murder? 9.00 FILM: The Holiday (2006) Starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black, Eli Wallach, Edward Burns and Rufus Sewell. Seasonal romantic comedy about two single women on opposite sides of the Atlantic who, depressed at their love lives in the run-up to Christmas, agree to swap houses for the season in a bid to give themselves the festive break they deserve. 11.35 ITV News & Weather 11.50 FILM: Mermaids (1990) Starring Cher, Winona Ryder, Bob Hoskins, Christina Ricci. Comedy drama around the nomadic life of a mother and her two daughters. 1.40am Guinness Premiership Rugby 2.35 Traffic 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.25 CITV: Captain Mack 5.35 Paz 5.40 Captain Mack 5.55 ITV Morning News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Make Way For Noddy 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 The Mr. Men Show 8.35 Roobarb And Custard Too 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Hannah Montana 11.45 Festive Concert With Andre Rieu 12.30pm FILM: Alice In Wonderland (1999) 3.15 FILM: The Remains Of The Day (1993) 5.50 Five News Update 6.00 Heads Or Tails Gameshow presented by Justin Lee Collins in which contestants stand to win one million pounds on the toss of a coin. 7.00 Mamma Mia: Where Did It All Go Right? Light-hearted documentary examining the extraordinary success of Mamma Mia, the musical film and stage production that has taken the world by storm. 8.00 The ABBA Years Documentary exploring the remarkable success of ABBA, featuring interviews with the band members, footage of tours and stage shows, digitally remastered archive footage and music from 26 of the band’s hit records. Got a feeling of deja vu for this evening’s viewings. 9.00 Thirteen: Conspiracy Tense thriller charting the fall-out from the assassination of the USA’s first female president. A young man wakes up with no memory of his past life. The only clue as to his identity is the tattoo ‘XIII’ on his neck. That’s better, something new. Sounds little bit like ‘Bourne’ though... 11.50 The Bourne Identity: The True Story Documentary exploring the real-life CIA history that inspired the Jason Bourne movies.patients. Handy. 12.50am NFL Live 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00 BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Comic Relief: The Net Result In March 2009, Gary Barlow and celeb mates climbed Mt Kilimanjaro to highlight the deadly issue of malaria, and raised three and a half million pounds. Now Gary and some of his pals return to Uganda. 7.30 Celebrity Mastermind John Humphrys puts four brave and famous contenders through their paces, including Goldie and Paul O’Grady. 8.00 Casualty Sean struggles to deal with Jessica and Adam’s impending nuptials, Jay and Ruth get closer, and Noel’s trip to the old people’s home has unexpected consequences. 9.00 Cranford The ladies have high expectations of Lady Glenmire’s visit, but all does not go to plan. 10.30 Outnumbered – The Christmas Special It’s Boxing Day in the Brockman house and Santa has paid a visit, along with some burglars. 11.10 BBC News 11.25 South East Today 11.30 FILM: American Flyers (1985) Starring Kevin Costner. Touching drama about two brothers – one of whom is terminally ill – who enter America’s toughest cycling race and rekindle their relationship in training. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.25 FILM: Sign Zone: Bridge To Terabithia (2007) 3.55 BBC News
6.50 Channel 4 News 7.00 Tsunami: Where Was God? See highlights. 9.00 The Greatest TV Shows Of The Noughties A celebration of the greatest TV of the past decade, drawn from a survey of leading TV critics and industry figures, and a YouGov public poll. As well as superlative drama series like The Wire and the breathtaking photography of Planet Earth, the Noughties saw the rise and fall of reality series such as Big Brother, The Apprentice and The X-Factor. Stars including David Tennant and Jeremy Clarkson debate whether this has been a golden age of entertainment or a cultural recession. Telly talking about telly. Isn’t that a bit biassed? 10.35 The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year 2006 Jimmy Carr presents the quiz show in which the celebrity teams – Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand, Rob Brydon, David Walliams, Cat Deeley and Noel Fielding – demonstrate their awareness of the weirdest stories and most outrageous scandals of the year 2006. They will also face surprise questions from a string of celebrity guests. That was AGES ago! 12.40am Hits And Headlines: Christmas No.1s 95-08 2.35 Deadliest Catch 3.25 The Truth About Street Weapons 3.35 The Hills (x3) 5.10 One Tree Hill 5.55 Sali Mali
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 3.30pm Knockouts Of 2009 4.00 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 6.30 Test Cricket (x2) 10.00 Living With The Pride - 2009 Lions Tour 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.30am Super Sunday: The Last Word 1.00 Scottish Premier League 1.30 Champions League: Greatest Goals 2.30 Ford Football Special 4.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.30 Premiership Rugby Union
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Premiership Rugby Union 7.30 Knockouts Of 2009 8.00 WWE Afterburn 9.00 WWE Vintage Collection 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Live Scottish Premier League 2.30pm Knockouts Of 2009 3.00 WWE Vintage Collection 4.00 Test Cricket 5.30 LIVE NFL (x2) 12.30am Premiership Rugby Union 2.00 Living With The Pride - 2009 Lions Tour 3.00 Knockouts Of 2009 3.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 4.00 To Be Announced 5.00 WWE Special
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
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ITV2
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E4
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Film4
3.30pm Bones 4.30 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2009 6.00 Got To Dance WarmUp 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 The Simpsons (x2) 10.00 Ten Minute Tales 10.10 War Torn Warriors 11.10 Modern Family 11.40 Ross Kemp Behind The Story 12.10am Ross Kemp Remembers Gangs
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid?: Top Ten Shockers 9.00 Most Annoying People 2009 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Most Annoying People 2009 3.15 Gavin And Stacey 3.45 Snog Marry Avoid?: Top Ten Shockers 4.45 Don’t Get Screwed 5.30 Close
7.00pm The Art Of Russia 8.00 FILM: The Magnificent Ambersons (1942) 9.30 Orson Welles Over Europe 10.30 Cranford: Under The Bonnet 11.00 Arena: The Orson Welles Story - Part 2 11.55 FILM: The Stranger (1946) 1.30am The Orson Welles Sketchbook 1.45 Orson Welles Over Europe
2.30pm Take That: Backstage At The Circus 3.30 Take That: The Circus Live 5.00 FILM: Casper (1995) 7.00 FILM: The Polar Express (2004) 9.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 10.00 FILM: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) 12.00am FILM: Throw Momma From The Train (1987)
12.40pm Goodbye Mr Chips 2.50 Hercule Poirot’s Christmas 4.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.00 Torvill And Dean’s Dancing On Ice: The Bolero Tour Live 8.00 An Audience With Donny And Marie 9.00 A Touch Of Frost (x2) 12.25am FILM: The Odd Couple II (1998) 2.05 Wycliffe 2.55 On The Buses 3.20 Film File
1.15pm Dark Angel 2.15 Reaper (x2) 4.05 Friends (x2) 5.05 FILM: Picture Perfect (1997) 7.00 One Tree Hill. See highlights. 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Peep Show (x6) 12.10am Ricky Gervais Live: Animals 1.40 Switched 2.00 How To Look Good Naked 2.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus
1.45pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.30 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.20 Jamie At Home 7.55 River Cottage Heroes 9.00 Snowstorm: Britain’s Big Freeze 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.25 Father Ted 11.55 Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.35am River Cottage Heroes 1.35 Snowstorm: Britain’s Big Freeze
11.00am Miracle On 34th Street (1947) 1.00pm Cutthroat Island (1995) 3.20 The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959) 5.05 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 7.15 Bedazzled (2000) 9.00 John Tucker Must Die (2006) 10.55 Backbeat (1993) 12.50am Once Upon A Time In The West (1968)