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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
JOE BOYD on NICK DRAKE p 13
12 – 18 January 2010
FREE WEEKLY
GORDON RAMSAY TV chef says cheese
TATTOO CONVENTION The best of Brighton body art
Wellbeing in a bottle at holistic centre Aloka
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Colour your life Have you seen our top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at TOP
latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
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002_LS457_Dymanic Yoga
1/6/10
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NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR
www.dynamicyoga.tv The studio incorporates a fantastic new ‘state of the art’ fresh oxygenated heating ventilation system.
Class duration: 90 minutes
Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”
7 Video testimonals on the website.
003_LS457_contents
1/8/10
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Dame Vera Lynn visits Cityclean, plus art at Mange Tout 5 City Speak Will suffers from champagne poisoning; Columnist Idol 5 Competitions Win Gruffalo T-shirts, Komedia club tickets and DVDs 6 Cover feature Every treatment from colour therapy to Thai massage at Brighton’s new Aloka Quality Of Life Centre 7 Heather Mills’ VBites Heather on the hypocrisy of big supermarkets 8 News The Uni of Brighton’s new £25 million Checkland building; Councillor Mary Mears on how to volunteer 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 9 Bookings Science Festival, The Lightning Seeds, Rebel Bingo 10 Snap Shots XPiano player and inventor Paul Harrison 11 Celebcity David Walliams moves to Brighton 12 Bare Cheek The Cheeky Boys’ alternative Best Of The Decade Awards 12 Astral Angi The stars offer a helping hand to hypochondriacs
11 21
13 L7 INTERVIEW “This was not a romantic playing out a prophecy”: legendary ‘60s producer Joe Boyd on the haunted genius of ultimate cult songwriter, Nick Drake.
15 LIFESTYLE 15 Brighton Tattoo Convention 175 body artists hit Brighton Racecourse 17 Food & Drink Gordon Ramsay goes to dairy school in Horsted Keynes
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
18 Hotlist 21 great restaurants and coffee shops 19 Dining Deals Cut out and keep discount food and drink vouchers 20 Health Give your mind, body and soul a new year MOT
21 WHAT’S ON 21 Stage Brighton Dome’s spring season previewed 22 Music & Clubs French music showcase Vive La France! 24 Art & Events Royal Pavilion Free Day, Cass Sculpture Foundation 25 Film The latest Vampire flick, Daybreakers, hits the big screen 26 Comedy & Gay Pappy’s attempt to break a comedy world record 27 Reviews Holiday On Ice, Brendan Cole and The Horrors 28 Sport Albion’s Adam Virgo on sporting highlights of the decade 29 TV Your seven-day guide to what’s on the box
He knew he was a genius, and the world didn’t. That’s one take on the tragedy of Nick Drake, the ‘70s songwriter who died of an overdose in his midtwenties, found his fanbase posthumously, and is now the subject of a special tribute concert at Brighton Dome on 21 January. In this week’s L7 Interview we speak to two people with a unique insight into his life and untimely death – his producer, Joe Boyd, and his contemporary, Vashti Bunyan, who recalls with poignant wit their doomed attempt to collaborate. Could MySpace have saved Nick Drake? Was this chronically shy performer simply born 30 years too early, driven to despair by his inability to locate his audience? It’s hard not to indulge in sweeping speculation. And now you can join us!... if you can fit your thoughts into 140 characters. Yes, you can now follow Latest 7 on Twitter (which, for the uninitiated, is the rung of communication technology the media has currently lodged at, round about mid-point between beacon-lighting and telepathy). It means we can feed you up-to-the-minute news, comment and flagrant gossip between publication dates, and you can respond without even having to uncap a biro or log on to your email. If you were watching ITV on Friday night you’ll have seen L7 columnist Heather Mills make her debut on Dancing On Ice. She’ll be catching you up with her progress in future weeks, but in this issue’s VBites she’s busy taking on big supermarkets, a slightly heftier foe than Danniella Westbrook and Bobby Davro. Our cover feature this week is all about Aloka, a new wellbeing centre in Brighton’s East Street spread across a whopping five levels – even the nine-world Norse universe only had three.
Latest on You can now follow Latest 7 and Latest Homes on Twitter. Sign up to your favourite sections and columnists to keep up to date with local entertainments stories, restaurant openings, health and beauty offers, celebrity gossip, property news and more.
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Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
latestbella
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS457_Social Diary
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SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps an art opening with a French twist and a visit from Dame Vera Lynn
Dame Vera Lynn being welcomed to Cityclean
Vincent Lebon, Anna Chippendale, Mark Alistair – exhibiting artist
Café culture New eatery Mange Tout, situated in bustling Trafalgar Street, is already becoming known for its relaxed style and fresh French cuisine. Now owners Vincent and Thierry seem keen to develop an artistic reputation too – and a big crowd turned up for the opening of their first exhibition last month, with work by artist Mark Alistair and photographer Nazare Soares.
Dame Vera Lynn, Wes Lee Emond – Cityclean ULR
Cityclean staff with Geoffrey Theobald, Carol Theobald and Mary Mears
Sing while you’re cleaning
William Ranieri, Nazare Soares – exhibiting photographer
Forces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn rallied the troops at Cityclean’s Learning Centre last month. The popular singer, who lives in Ditchling, found out about the range of courses on offer to Brighton and Hove City Council’s refuse, recycling, streets and parks staff and congratulated those who have achieved qualifications this year. This year saw a record number of staff taking up learning opportunities with 110 enrolling on at least one course – an increase of 48 per cent on the previous year.
Churchill’s chums Last month Latest Homes columnist Robert Nemeth had his first outing as Chairman of The Sir Winston Churchill Fifty Dining Club, a political group that has been running locally for over forty years. Previous speakers have included Sir Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher. The meal took place at the Carlton Club on St James's Street in London with Mark Harper MP, Shadow Minister for Disabled People, as speaker. Images: Diana Frangi Robert Nemeth – Chairman, Suzanne White – Secretary,Kerry Underhill – Treasurer
Simon Kirby – Candidate for Brighton Kemp Town, Charlotte Vere – Candidate for Brighton Pavilion, Speaker: Mark Harper MP, Shadow Minister for Disabled People, Mike Weatherley – Candidate for Hove
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1/6/10
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CITY SPEAK 05
Will
L7 is searching for a new local voice – and it’s providing a fascinating opportunity to find out what’s on your minds. Over the next few weeks we’ll be printing some of the submissions. First out of the post bag this week... Rosie Gifford, 39, Brighton
Will Harris attends an exorcism with a difference
“T
his champagné doesn’t have week, “and I can’t drink it on my own. a date on it. Also, there’s a You know what happens when I drink rogue accent on the e.” H alone at home. I turn into...” wanders over to where I’m standing, “Your mother.” I grimaced. H’s peering closely at the bottle in my mother is a renowned alcoholic who hand. We’re in her kitchen, in her flat recently came flying out of her own in Coventry, and it is this bottle I’ve bathroom, screaming she was being travelled here expressly to open. attacked by hornets. We think it may “That just means it’s French,” says have been an acid flashback. H, peering at the label. “Doesn’t it?” “Oh alright, I’ll come up.” “Well no, they don’t put an accent on “Excellent,” H had said. “We can every e...” I stop, realising I’m purge the flat of her spirit once and attempting to explain the linguistic for all. It’ll be like an exorcism. I’ll intricacies of the French language to do a buffet.” a woman who only recently had it Famous last words I suppose. pointed out to her that Asterix was A week later and a glass and a half a Gaul, not a in, I develop Ghoul. “There’s a banging no date on it. headache and “H is thrashing about No vintage.” have to leave “So what are on the sheets, calling the flat in you saying? Are search of her ex-girlfriend every Nurofen. By the you saying that it’s worthless? I get back, name under the sun” time As worthless as H has become the fourteen violently ill and months I spent with that evil bitch retired to her bed, where she is Herman Munster?” thrashing about on the sheets while Herman Munster, in case you’re calling her ex-girlfriend every name wondering, is what we have come to under the sun. I’m half expecting her call H’s ex-girlfriend, a lumbering tongue to turn black and lizard-like mattress of a woman who broke H’s and her head to spin the full 360º, heart back in the Spring by running but fortunately even champagné off with a girl composed entirely out knows its limits (although I’m not of hair. It was Herman who bought H sure my friend knows hers). the heavily-accented champagné, The next morning, we’re lying in H’s shortly before she walked out the bed, drinking tea and arguing about door, and H for her part has been which Nolan we’d like to do in first. saving it for a special occasion. “So what’re your thoughts on the “It’s the only thing I have left in the champagné?” I ask. “A fitting epitaph house that reminds me of her,” she to the person who gave it to me,” is had said on the phone the previous her reply. “Toxic. And cheap.”
T
wo years ago, in the middle of the night, I had an epiphany. I needed to move to Brighton. After eight years in the middle of rural France, slipping further and further in chutney and waking up with black teeth from boozing red wine, I had to get out of the end of the road. There was a new restaurant sign in our village saying, in English, 'we do French meals here'. That did it for me. My grandma had a B&B in Clarence Square. She moved here with her second husband Tony, thirty years her junior. They had met in a loony bin in Wales, both having drunk far too much. Tony, aka Old Elvis, could be found in all the dodgiest pubs. Their dog, Boyo terrorized the neighbourhood, sh****** everywhere; back in the days when he could. He not only ate his dog food, but also his dog bowl. Once, while Tony was asleep, Boyo ate the watch from his wrist and Pammy swore that, when she put her ear to Boyo's belly, she could still hear it ticking. There were few paying guests even at the beginning; by the end they only had two foreign students who never paid any rent at all. Pammy was too polite to ask. She liked having young people to talk to about Camus, Schopenhauer and investing in sugar.
Pammy was a communist chainsmoker, would set her hair on fire frequently and thought everyone should smoke. She would fall asleep with her mouth and legs open with a rug round her waist, no knickers. The laugh we had going to see her. My dad has history here, too. Paul McCartney's house on the beach front was dad's childhood home. I only bring that up in conversation when I've had a few, once even saying Sir Paul McCartney's house for added effect, but my husband has banned that now. I'm so excited because my nine year old fella is playing for Brighton and Hove Albion. I am not a WAG with a bag, but a MAG or NAG or even just a BRAG. I often do the swimming, Starbucks, library, Carluccio's swoop with my two year old Apricot Boo Boo Bottom. No-one ever seems to complain about quite how many of us there are about town. Just look in the window of Starbucks on North Street and count those mini bald heads. The roots are re-growing here – it's better than watching them grow in my hair in the middle of nowhere in France. I've even dusted off my high heels that used to be door stops. Best move I've ever made.
Want to read more from Rosie? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Local with lots to say for yourself? Fancy your chances in Latest 7’s Columnist Idol? Send a 450 word sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
COMPETITIONS DA DOO RON RON TICKETS
AWARD-WINNING FILMS ON BLU-RAY
Alright, so you’re going stir crazy as post-Crimbo blues and skintness combine to keep your dancing restricted to the front room. Don’t fret – the most happening night in town is flinging open it’s doors and giving away three pairs of tickets to some very lucky readers. Fresh from the success of its Christmas party, that ‘60s stalwart of dance, Da Doo Ron Ron, is ushering in 2010 with a night dedicated to female Beatles covers at Komedia on Saturday 30 January. We have three pairs of tickets to give away, so throw on your gladrags, dive right into the retro cool night and hang the recession! Q Which Beatles song was named after John’s mother?
The Red Balloon is a delightful flight of fancy about a friendship between a boy and a balloon. It won the 1956 Palme D’or, and was the only non-dialogue film to win an Oscar for Best Screenplay. Pair it up with director Albert Lamorisse’s previous Palme D’or winner, White Mane, and you have a classic Blu-ray double bill for all the family to enjoy. Q In which city is The Red Balloon set?
GRUFFALO KIDS’ T-SHIRTS If your kids are going mad for The Gruffalo after his recent telly outing over Christmas, they’ll love these special Tshirts, released to mark the 10th anniversary of the bestselling children’s book. Small fans of the big old beast can now wear their love proudly, with sizes for 1-2 yrs, 34 yrs, and 5-6 yrs. We’ve got two T-shirts in each size to give away, so make sure you say which size you’d like to win when you enter. Q Who wrote the book, The Gruffalo?
WIN!
ENID ON DVD
Before JK Rowling, the children’s author at the top of the literary hit parade was Enid Blyton. This BBC biopic, starring Helena Bonham Carter as the author in question, tells of the highs and lows that helped her create some of childhood’s best-loved characters. Q Who is Noddy’s best friend?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk
with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 25 January 2010.
006_LH457_Aloka
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06 COVER FEATURE
Soil to soul A haven of peace and wellbeing awaits you at Aloka Quality Of Life Centre
A
loka Quality Of Life Centre is a unique location providing services to enhance wellbeing and quality of life. Set over five floors on East Street in central Brighton, the centre has been thoughtfully designed to embrace the soil to soul concept from the crystals and organic foods on the lower floors to holistic treatments for the soul on the upper floor. Situated on the lower ground floor, the gallery holds beautiful ethicallysourced crystals for your home, office or person. From small tumble stones to large amethyst caves, these crystals create a tranquil and healing energy and are also available in stunningly designed jewellery pieces. On the ground floor, the Aloka vegan and vegetarian café uses fresh organic, biodynamic and local produce wherever possible to offer a unique, high quality, self-selecting culinary experience. The wholesome food is freshly made on site daily by a team of dedicated vegetarian chefs, inspired by flavours from around the world. Food is available to eat in or to take away, as are the wide variety of organic bottled drinks, super food smoothies, fresh juices and biodynamic or organic tea and coffee. The dining room on the first floor is a relaxing daytime space to enjoy the delicious food from the café, while in the evening the restaurant offers a table service menu of tasty vegetarian and vegan meals. Organic wines, beers and ciders are available to complement your meal. The room is also the perfect venue for private parties, catering for up to 24 people. Moving up to the second floor, in a calm light-filled space, The Studio at Aloka offers an ever-changing programme of events and workshops. Daily drop-in yoga classes are open to all levels, ages and body types, taught by professional yoga instructors with progressive teaching methods in a non-competitive and encouraging atmosphere. Aura-Soma® colour workshops, meditation classes and a variety of guest events have the studio bursting with activity, with their next Level One Practitioner course starting in mid February. Studio classes may also support the treatments experienced in the Day Spa and can be chosen or recommended according to a colour consultation to work towards answering the question: how do I improve my quality of life? On the top floor, the Day Spa offers a full menu of body and beauty treatments in spacious treatment rooms, which are fitted with coloured lights to enhance the experience. Aura-Soma colour consultations are offered, alongside holistic treatments and a variety of massage techniques including invigorating, deep tissue and Traditional Thai. The Aura-Soma colour system is beautiful in its simplicity. During a colour consultation you are invited to select the four bottles you are drawn to from the display of 108 dual-coloured bottles. The colours you choose help to
reveal who you really are as every colour and bottle combination has a specific meaning. A qualified practitioner will guide you through the meaning of the bottles you’ve selected to help you to understand and utilise the positives in your life. The Aura-Soma Equilibrium bottles have been empowering people to transform their lives for over a quarter of a century. The bottles contain oil from the tenth pressing of organic olives, essential oils from around the world, organic and biodynamic herbs and crystal tinctures (created specially for Aura-Soma in Switzerland from ethically-sourced crystals). Applying your chosen bottle directly on the body can bring about resolution and change and restore balance and harmony. Aura-Soma’s values and philosophy are the foundation for the Aloka Quality of Life Centre. Aloka Quality Of Life Centre, 14 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HP, 01273 823178. Enjoy a fresh and healthy start to 2010 with Aloka’s January offers • Book any six classes with any instructor for £40 – a saving of up to £14 (to be used within three months). • 20% off all treatments in the Day Spa – including a fresh juice • Evening meal offer – help yourself to a plate of delicious vegetarian food and glass of organic beer or wine for just £10 (£8 with a soft drink)
007_LS457_VBites
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VBITES 07
SWEET & SOUR VEGETABLES
VBites of wisdom
Ingredients 1/4 cup water 2 medium sliced peeled carrots 2 cups sliced mushrooms 1 large onion cut in 1 inch chunks 1 (8 oz) can water chestnuts, drained 1 large green pepper cut in 1 inch chunks 1-tablespoon cornstarch 1/3 cup unsweetened pineapple juice 1 minced garlic clove 1-tablespoon water 1/3 cup ketchup 2 tablespoons low sodium soy sauce 3/4 cup unsweetened pineapple chunks 1 tablespoon vinegar
Heather Mills isn’t taken in by the green posturing of supermarkets
H
ave you noticed how supermarkets are telling us they are the great saviours of the world with their eco-friendly marketing and sales pitches? All falling over themselves to prove how much greener they are than each other? They must think we were all born yesterday. Stop and look at the food on the shelves. Fruit from South America and New Zealand – it couldn’t have come from any further away! And all the time our farmers and small businesses are struggling to survive as the big supermarkets squeeze prices and push them to the brink of bankruptcy. This isn’t a good deal for us. The prices we pay for food are not going down, it’s the supermarkets’ profits that are going up.
“They shout about installing sophisticated fridges – do they think we can’t see they don’t have any doors on them?” The hypocrisy is astounding. I’ll give you an example. They shout loudly about installing sophisticated fridges that reduce consumption of climatechanging gases, trying to impress us with how sustainable their stores are. It’s nonsense. Do they think we can’t see the fridges don’t have doors on them? And do you know why? They worry sales figures will drop if shoppers have to open a door before reaching into a fridge or freezer. I rest my case. And where is the government in all this? It should be protecting our farmers and food producers, helping them to survive the recession and grow our rural economies. Instead, our politicians are too scared to stand up to the big supermarkets. Supermarkets are bullies and their bullying should be stopped so that farmers and shoppers can get a good deal. But, don’t forget, we all have a choice. Food is our number one contributor to climate change. The food we eat, the way it is produced and eventually thrown away, has an impact on the environment. You don’t have to buy apples from South Africa wrapped in metres of plastic packaging. Go down to London Road market, buy some that were grown down the road and take them away in a brown paper bag. Do your bit for our local farmers and the planet – and don’t forget to recycle the bag.
Do you have a favourite local market seller? Big them up! comment@thelatest.co.uk
Heather’s
DIARY
N
ew year, new you. How’s it going for you? For me, my body may be feeling battered from Dancing On Ice but I’ve been having a ball! Bring on the Bolero, I say! The only way I’ve got through each training day was by making sure I was eating properly. Some days, when the training got tough, it really was the thought of the new winter menu at VBites that kept me going. We’re into January now and it’s easy to start to flag on your commitment to your new year’s resolutions. Come down to VBites, and let my imaginative, nutritious and tasty vegan menu remind you of why looking after your body can taste so good.
Sharing the VBites love Book your table now for VBites LGBT Valentines on 6 February. It’ll be a night of soft music, candles, sparkling wines and fine cuisine, with an ambience to match. Book your table early to avoid disappointment.
Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com See website for winter opening times
And show your friends how much you love them on 13 February at VBites by bringing them down for our singles night – avoid the smooching couples, and spread the love around! Single or in a couple, we’ll show you a good time!
Method: 1 In large pan bring 1/4 cup water to a boil on high heat. 2 Add the carrots, mushrooms, water chestnuts, onion, and bell pepper. Cover and cook on high for 1 minute. 3 Remove the cover and cook vegetables until tender (about 8 minutes). If the pot goes dry, you may add 1 tbsp water in at a time. 4 Set aside and keep warm. 5 Dissolve cornstarch in a little pineapple juice in a small bowl. 6 Over low heat, in a small pan, combine the garlic and water; bring to boil. 7 Stir in the ketchup, pineapple juice, soy sauce and vinegar; return to a boil. 8 Add cornstarch mixture and stir until thickened and bubbly, approx 1 minute. 9 Pour the sauce over the vegetables and toss to coat.
Love is in the air Book your table now for VBites LGBT Valentin es on 6 February.
see you – Heather
008_LS457_newsphil/Council
1/8/10
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08 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
The Checkland building leads redevelopments – but is the city speeding towards a go-slow?
I
t is set to be an exciting 2010 for Brighton and Hove but residents who drive might be just a tad slower getting around. The city council has set up a panel to investigate cutting speed limits to 20mph in side roads in a bid to increase road safety. It might affect pollution levels, carbon emissions and noise, and public meetings will be held throughout this and next month to discuss the issues. All residents are entitled to have a say so get thinking and email scrutiny@brighton-hove.gov.uk Bold new plans and buildings are set to dominate the year and none more so than the one Brighton and Hove Albion fans have been looking forward to for so long – the club’s new ground at Falmer. But just a few hundred metres down the road they’ll see another new and impressive edifice, the University of Brighton’s £25 million
Checkland building which has recently opened but has yet to have a ribbon-cutting ceremony. The state-of-the-art structure is named after former BBC directorgeneral and university board of governors chairman Michael Checkland. It took 19 months to complete and houses the School of Education and the languages and literature division of the School of Humanities. The 9,000 square metre structure comes with a green roof with sedum plants to create a downland setting and make it a living area able to absorb pollution, reduce rainwater run-off and provide habitats for wildlife. Work should start soon on the multi-million pound redevelopment of the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Eastern Road and the council is considering plans to rejuvenate London Road.
The plan has attracted submissions from 65 groups including opposition organisations. The idea so far, for good or for bad, aims to preserve London Road's “distinctive character” with priority for pedestrians, cyclists and public transport. There are no plans for a superstore but there will be a new Open Market. There’s no mention of motorists but then, if the Highways Agency has its way, motorists will be banned anyway – or at least the word will be. Agency staff have been told they must now use “road users” or “drivers” because these terms cover all people on the road including cyclists and bus drivers. Mmm. Anyway, beleagured motorists, or whatever you can call them now, won’t be going very far or very fast in the coming months. Gas and Southern Water road works, especially round the Western Road and St James’s Street areas, will bring the usual chaos, and the cold weather has produced hundreds of cracks and potholes, some ankle deep. An exciting year ahead it may be, but a go-slow one for sure.
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Dear Latest 7, every year our NHS service loans over 20,000 items of equipment to people who are either disabled, have a long-term illness or suffer from mobility problems. However, many of those who have borrowed things from us forget to tell us when they no longer need them. Expensive bed hoists, for instance, are left to rust in garden sheds and trolleys become a table for the telly when they could be put to far better use by other patients. So this new year we’re appealing to anyone who has spare NHS mobility equipment to call us so that we can pass it on to someone who really needs it. We’ re also happy to accept donations of any equipment that was bought privately. In 2007 a similar campaign led to £100,000 worth of equipment being returned to us – and we hope for a similar result this time around. Just call 01273 294181 or 01273 294304 to arrange for items to be collected – no questions will be asked and your help will be much appreciated by our patients – and everyone who pays for the NHS. Jackie Marsh, Manager, Integrated Community Equipment Service, Brighton and Hove City Council and South Downs Health NHS Trust
Got a grumble about local roadworks? comment@thelatest.co.uk
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latest7news Pic: Andy Weekes
Yippee! Thank you so much!!! Just received DVD of Last House On The Left! Absolutely over the moon – this is destined for my (big/brave!) son’s xmas stocking!!!! I always enter your competitions and check out the site. So pleased I do. Love the mag – keeps me up to date on things. Elspeth Smith, Southampton You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
The Checkland building
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on becoming a volunteer The New Year is often a time when people resolve to volunteer to put something back into their local communities, and I want the Council to do everything we can to support people who make this valuable and generous commitment. The impact of volunteering can already be seen right across the city. You only need to look at the fantastic work that organisations such as the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award and the Prince’s Trust do with the city’s young people to see what benefits it can bring. And with unemployment still rising, there are also tremendous personal
benefits to be gained from volunteering in terms of gaining skills and experience, developing contacts and generally preparing people mentally for the world of work. Brighton and Hove is renowned nationally for having a thriving voluntary sector. At the last count, there were approximately 19,200 volunteer positions in the city, giving 57,600 per week of volunteer hours. The community and voluntary sector contributes a staggering £96 million to the local economy each year. Without volunteering our social care, healthcare, recreational and education systems would probably grind to a halt. Despite this success, I still think that the volunteering experience in Brighton and Hove could
be improved still further. Therefore, we are working with a local charity – Impetus – to develop a City Volunteering Strategy in order to try and make volunteering opportunities more accessible to residents and to better co-ordinate information about them. The philosopher Edmund Burke believed that the key to a strong civil society lay in fostering the “little platoons” which make up that society – families, neighbourhood associations, charities and churches. I couldn’t agree more – a society which values and supports volunteering is a healthy and thriving society. For further information please visit www.bhimpetus.org or visit the Volunteer Centre at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove.
009_LS457_Bookings/chart
1/8/10
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BOOKINGS | CHART
L7 Bookings
THE WEDDING PRESENT PRESENT THE EDGE OF THE SEA
On sale this week…
Concorde 2, 28 August (3pm), £15, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 Second year for this one-day music festival curated by the indie stalwarts.
BRIGHTON SCIENCE FESTIVAL
JUSTIN ADAMS AND JULDEH CAMARA
Various Brighton venues, 12-28 February, £free-10 for individual events, 01273 777628, www.brightonscience.com A fortnight’s worth of accessible science-related events including talks by popular TV scientist Professor Robert Winston, comedian Ben Miller (who studied for a PHD in quantum electro-dynamics) and Guardian journalist Polly Toynbee (on science versus politics). Pubs, clubs and theatres are also hosting events this year, and there’s plenty of family-friendly fun. See website for full programme.
Old Market, 29 January £12.50, 01273 736222, www.theoldmarket.co.uk The second collaboration (2008’s Soul Science won a BBC3 World Music Award) between Justin Adams and Gambian musician Juldeh Camara, fusing punk energy with West African trance rhythms.
THE LIGHTNING SEEDS Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 24 April, £22.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Having taken time out producing the likes of The Coral and Zutons and concentrating on his solo career, Ian Broudie returned to fronting these gently psychedelic Scouse popsters last spring. Here touring the bands sixth album, Four Winds. The Lightning Seeds
1 N-D-E – Bad Habit 2 Panos Christofi – In My Mind
Concorde 2, 9 March, £15, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 Led by the lyrical, folk-leaning Roddy Woomble, the long-serving Scotsmen – 'this year's band most deserving of doing an Elbow' (in the view of The Sunday Times) – tour 2009's fan-funded sixth LP, Post Electric Blues.
4 Tenek – State Of Mind 5 Jaybee – Cowboys Blues 6 Surrender Monkeys – John Agar Was Right 7 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know
8 Vortex Generator – Regenerate
THE UNDERGROUND REBEL BINGO CLUB Secret Location, Brighton Seafront, 27 January, 10 February and 10 March (10.30pm-3am), £tbc, www.rebelbingo.com Bingo is no longer the preside of hyper-serious elderly people and hysterical hen parties. This secret event combines prize winning with loud music, dancing and drawing on each other – a combination that attracted Stephen Merchant to one of their recent ultra-hip London nights. This is, they say, ‘the most dangerous form of all the bingos’. And now it’s coming to Brighton. Get in.
9 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do.. 10 Panos Christofi – Only The Night Those January blues continue this week as the dark drum ’n’ bass of N-D-E’s Bad Habit moves up from last week’s number two to this week’s top spot. Chart mainstay Panos Christofi’s vaguely Eastern-flavoured former number one, ‘In My Mind’, slumps to two this week as Chaos Borne remain at three – albeit with a different song. Meanwhile, it’s a return to the top five for the atmospheric, shadowy electro-pop of Tenek, plus maudlin country balladry of Columnist Idol contenderJaybee at four and five respectively.
11 No Sharp Objects Home
22 Hu Ha Freedom
12 No Sharp Objects The Wrong Kind Of Love
23 Cayden Cole Misadventure
13 Jaybee Brokeback Mountain
West Hill Village Hall, 24 January (2.30-10.30pm), £12, http://wegottickets.com/event/60152 Ace songwriter Chris TT hosts an all-day acoustic show in aid of MSF UK – all-seated, with a tea, coffee and cake stall and bring-your-own-booze policy. Acts include Thirty Pounds Of Bone, Lianne Hall and The Singing Adams (ex Broken Family Band). It’s extremely cosy – only 80 tickets – so hurry.
Brighton Science Festival
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest
3 Chaos Borne – I Will
WINTER PICNIC
Audio, 27 March, £9, 01273 606 906, www.audiobrighton.com Following the release of their third album Tear the Signs Down, Cardiff’s proponents of shout-along earworms return to cater for requests for ‘Monster’.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
IDLEWILD
The Underground Rebel Bingo Club
THE AUTOMATIC
09
14 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 15 Tenek If I Should Fall 16 Clockworks Fairytales
AUDIO BULLYS Concorde 2, 20 March, £12.50, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 Geezer house from the duo behind 2005’s Nancy Sinatra-sampling top three hit, ‘Shot You Down’.
24 This Mono Galaxy Dance With My Father 25 Kid Komas feat LOc E Fidget Changed The Game 26 Jim Guittard Can’t Be Down That Very Long
27 The Mojo Fins 17 Spitefire In The Script Blissfully Unaware 18 Chaos Borne Watching
28 Jim Guittard Hitting The Lotto
19 Swarf Parlour Tricks
29 The Fooley Mantras Matter Of Time
20 Chaos Borne The Moment 21 Spitefire Voices Of Reason
30 Zoe Konez When The Snow Came SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
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10 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: ‘Piano man’ Paul Harrison
“
Brighton has always been an old stomping ground for me since I designed the first Body Shop and had a part in Quadrophenia. So it was the only place for me when I moved back to the UK from Spain in 1997 to develop my silk flame illusion. During the summer I play the XPiano on the seafront by the West Pier – the perfect place for my soundscapes
”
Paul Harrison at his XPiano, the instrument he built from recycled piano parts. It has been called both an art work and a musical magic carpet. A sign-writer, prop designer and new age composer, Paul is also the inventor of the silk flame.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk manchester street, brighton
tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
011_LS457_celebcity
1/8/10
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SPONSORED BY
CELEBCITY 11
Celebcity with Jo Brooks David Walliams moves in, Katie Price’s exes hit the Big Bro house, and Stephen Grant issues a challenge
Little Brighton G
reat news for Little Britain fans as we can now confirm the imminent arrival of a brand spanking new celebrity to the city. Yes, the rumours are true, comic genius David Walliams will soon have a BN postcode, as he moves into his new home on the seafront in Hove. David, 38, certainly wont be lonely or go empty handed if the local shop is closed, as next door neighbours Norman Cook, Zoe Ball and Latest 7 columnist Heather Mills (if she is not out at the ice rink) will be on hand with a cup of sugar or a pint of semi-skimmed – or maybe even a vegan cake! The new seafront residence could not be more perfect for the comic star, with its own stretch of beach leading into the English Channel. David famously swam the channel in July 2006 for Comic Relief, completing the 22 mile swim from Dover to the coast of France in just 10 hours and 34 minutes. He raised over 1 million for the charity and managed to fit in the training sessions whilst doing the Little Britain live tour with Matt Lucas. In fact this column reported spotting him at the time, taking an early morning dip on the seafront before his sell-out Brighton Centre shows. Imagine how quickly he could swim to the pier and back – childsplay! I reckon we can also expect to see a boost to the level of beauties in the city, as it is well reported that David has a penchant for ‘the ladies’, having dated Natalie Imbrugia and teen model Lauren Budd over the last year. David is due to move into his seafront pad at the end of the month, so keep your eyes peeled – you never know, David might find inspiriation from our city for another cult Little Britain sketch.
FRENEMIES? Hot off the press and into the Celebrity Big Brother house last week went Katie Price’s current beau Alex Reid and her famous ex boyfriend, Another Level’s Dane Bowers. Following press reports that the love rivals had a spat at Katie’s New Years Eve party, the pair greeted each other with open arms and both vehemently denied any kind of fight, with Dane claiming that it was just a drunken brawl with some random revellers. The final Celebrity Big Brother should make interesting viewing this year, with Big Brother promising to turn the heat up and make this last outing one to remember. Katie herself stated on Twitter last week that she has heard that another ex of Dane and Alex’s will be entering the house; and if the rumours are true, even Katie may even be entering the house as a task. Watch this space!
BLANCHETT’S PAD UP FOR SALE A beautiful Brighton Grade I Listed town house in Sussex Square, previously owned by Cate Blanchett, is up for sale for the second time. It’s currently owned by songwriter Richard Stannard, who has worked with artists such as Kylie, U2, Will Young and Little Boots and has reportedly added a sound proof music studio and recording booth in the basement. Cate’s infamous bathtub is still there, as is the funky red metal staircase she installed. This house is certainly full of star quality! It’s said to be on the market for around 3.1million.
RUNNING JOKE Brighton funny man Stephen Grant has issued an unusual challenge to his fellow comics – attempt to run a total of 200K before the next Edinburgh Fringe. “That should only be 1K a day on average... it's doable! Surely!” posted the local comic at www.nikerunning.nike.com on New Year’s Eve. “That way if you're not working on your show, you can be getting fit instead. Or both. You have until Aug 3rd 2010. We can do this!!!” So far only three people have taken him up – surely fellow sporting enthusiast David Walliams would be up for the challenge?
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
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latestcelebcity
10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday during January. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
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1/8/10
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ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Best of the decade awards T
he war on terror! The beginning of a huge global recession! The release of Indiana Jones And The Crystal Skull! Yes, the last ten years have seen some of the most significant events in this planet's history. We here at Bare Cheek are proud to commemorate this momentous decade by remembering its greatest events and achievements...
licensing and then banning smoking in pubs.
FASHION STATEMENT OF THE DECADE – The Hoxton Fin.
SPORTING EVENT OF THE DECADE – Paula Radcliffe's impromptu gutter defecation.
SPECIAL BARE CHEEK “BETAMAX” AWARD – HD DVD.
BEST STUNT COMEDIAN – Aaron Barschak, the Comedy Terrorist.
PIECE OF INSULTING WESTERN CULTURAL IMPERILISM OF THE DECADE – Slumdog Millionaire.
DESCENT INTO MADNESS OF THE DECADE – Adam Ant trying to shoot that bloke in a Camden pub. MOST SHAMEFUL EPISODE OF THE DECADE – The Great Blue Peter catnaming vote-rigging. MOST GROUNDLESS FEAR REGARDING THE DEVELOPMENT OF A TECHNOLOGY OF THE DECADE – Cloning.
MAGAZINE OF THE DECADE – Jack. MOST FORGOTTEN REALITY SHOW OF THE DECADE – Regency House Party. LEAST PROTESTED AGAINST WAR OF THE DECADE – Afghanistan. CONTADICTORY LEGISLATION OF THE DECADE – Bringing in 24-hour
FUNNIEST CIRCUMVENTION OF GOVERNMENT LEGISLATION OF THE DECADE – Fat parents giving their obese kids chips through the school railings in defiance of Jamie Oliver's healthy school dinners drive. SOUNDBITE OF THE DECADE – “The quiet man has turned up the volume” (Iain Duncan Smith)
MOST FAILED CAMPAIGN OF THE DECADE – The perpetual crusade to persuade modelling agencies and glossy mags to take on “normal-sized” women. If anything, they have got skinnier. (RUNNER UP – Bob Geldof trying to get people to sail to France in protest against the G8 Summit.) WORST BUILDING OF THE DECADE – The Selfridges Building in Birmingham. We didn’t think it was possible to look back on the old Bullring with affection until we saw this. RIP OFF OF THE DECADE – Coffee shops. MOST DISTINGUISHED CONTRIBUTION TO JOURNALISM OF THE DECADE – this column. Hem hem.
MOST SIGNIFICANT MUSICAL EVENT OF THE DECADE – The 2004 Britpop revival. MAN OF THE DECADE – Fraudster and real-life Reggie Perrin John “Canoe Man” Darwin. WOMAN OF THE DECADE – That mad woman who pushed the pope over. SITCOM OF THE DECADE – Mad About Alice. TV SERIES OF THE DECADE – Dot Comedy. BOOK OF THE DECADE – Da Gospel According To Ali G. ALBUM OF THE DECADE – Swing When You're Winning by Robbie Williams.
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
Astral’s healthy hints for hypochondriacs
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
Ariens’ most common ailments are headaches, migraines, neuralgia, insomnia and fainting fits. Astral says buy a bigger hat and refrain from standing up.
Cancer is linked to the upper abdomen, chest, digestive system and left eye. Beware flatulence, ulcers, indigestion, and eye problems (left only). You're also predisposed to food poisoning. Diet.
Libras are linked to their lumbar vertebrae, urinary and hormonal systems. You're most likely to suffer from lumbago, colic, renal troubles, and cystisis but not all at once.
Capricorns are linked to the skeleton, the knees, joints, teeth, skin, nails and scalp. Watch out for arthritis, rheumatism, tooth decay, and dandruff. You’re so glamourous.
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
Taurus is, sorry has, a pain in the neck, and the most common problems are angina, laryngitis, ulcers, mumps and a stiff neck. Astral says wear a scarf.
Leos is linked to the spine, dorsal vertebrae, cardio-vascular system and right eye. Look out for palpitations, heart, eye and back trouble – but only with your right eye.
Scorpios are ruled by their digestive system, genitals, bladder, and reproductive organs such as the ovaries. Neither time nor space to do this justice here – seek advice.
Aquarians suffer with their legs, ankles and the circulation. The most common problems are sprained ankles, ruptured Achilles tendons, and embarrassing dancing.
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Geminis suffer in the thorax, shoulder blades, collarbone and nerves. You get sick with asthma, coughs, nerves and fractures of the upper limbs. Stay at home says Astral, you are not safe.
Virgos suffer with their guts. The problems are: colitis, constipation, digestive problems, liver trouble, gall and kidney stones. How revolting, please stay away.
Sagis are prone to problems with the pelvis, thighs, hips, sacrum, coccyx and sciatic nerve. Beware cellulite on the buttocks and thighs, dislocated hips, fractures – all old stuff.
Pisceans are prey to their immune system and feet. Problems include sensitive feet, ingrowing toenails, bacterial or viral infections. Get to Bardlsey’s for some sole.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
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L7 INTERVIEW 13
LOST& FOUND Ahead of a starry tribute show, legendary ’60s producer Joe Boyd and songwriter Vashti Bunyan talk to Bella Todd about the troubled life, tragic death and long-buried genius of Nick Drake
W
hen Nick Drake died of an overdose, aged 26, in 1974, hardly anyone had heard of him. Now his rare talent is universally proclaimed, while the likes of Martha Wainwright, Robyn Hitchcock and Scritti Politti’s Green Gartside will next week pay tribute to his otherworldly songs in a special concert. We spoke to its illustrious curator, Nick’s old producer Joe Boyd, about keeping the flame.
VASHTI BUNYAN ON NICK DRAKE Nick Drake and I were siblings in Joe Boyd’s “ family. I think Joe, coming from America,
Of all the great musicians you’ve worked with, does Nick hold a special place in your consciousness? The thing that’s so striking about Nick is, when other people perform his songs, you feel like each one of these singers is just revelling in some powerful space. In a lot of ways these tribute concerts are a resolution of a frustration of mine that, when I first heard Nick’s songs, I thought, no matter what happens with Nick, these are sure to get covered. Sadly Robert Kirkby, Nick Drake’s string arranger, died in October 2009. One obituary mentioned that he met Nick Drake at an audition for Cambridge Footlights which seems... Right! So different from what you thought you knew. The sad thing, haunting, is that all the evidence seems to be that Nick was much more outgoing in his teens. In ’69 he decided to give up university and move to London. I tried to persuade him to stay in Cambridge, that we should see how his live career developed first. At university people are always around, looking in on you. When he got to London he was living on his own in a bedsit, smoking a lot of hash, going out to eat a curry, just practising guitar. I think that accelerated his introverted nature. Did you feel that you knew Nick? I took it as a given that he was shy, and I wasn't setting out to try and be his best pal. I was his record producer, and I needed to deal with the problems of his live career and the fact it was so difficult for him to perform. I think that Nick wanted to be successful. He was not above success. It wasn’t that he didn’t perform because he didn’t want to join the commercial world. He just had trouble dealing with an audience that talked. He didn’t have any small talk. He didn’t have any way to get them to shut up. How well do you remember your first meeting? Well, the initial meeting was he just came in and dropped off a tape. I guess I was a little bit intrigued. He had that quality of being so reserved that it pulled you toward him. And then, when I heard the tape, I was obviously fascinated and wanted to talk to him, which was a little frustrating because he didn’t say a great deal. But he did agree. He said, “OK, let’s make a record.” And as far as I was concerned that was the most important thing. The thing I remember most is the hands, the fingers, the stutter, the upper class accent, and the fact that he didn't stand up straight, ‘cos he was very tall. And he always had these ash stains on his coat from smoking roll-ups. You’ve said Nick Drake’s music is ‘out of time’... I think that the influence of his mother, and that whole ’30s to ’50s tradition, sneaks in there next to the Davy Graham and the Bob Dylan and gives
“Nick had that quality of being so reserved that it pulled you toward him” him a colour that is very different to his contemporaries. That is why I had a meeting with him. Because I never really liked, either in theory or in practice, middle class kids writing bluesy songs. And that was one of the advantages I had as an A&R man – because I fundamentally disliked the genre, it took something really really good to get through. The fatalism we hear in his music – is that projection, or was it there from the start? When I first heard ‘Fruit Tree’, I thought it was a poem about one of the romantic poets. It’s about the fame of someone who dies young and how you never really know what somebody’s worth until they’re gone. And it never occurred to me at the time that Nick was writing about himself, and it may never have occurred to Nick. But you can’t help look at it now as a prescient song, that there was something in Nick, that doomed quality, that was integral to his music, and to him. But when I met with him in ’73 he was so terribly unhappy and disturbed and angry and frustrated. This was not a romantic playing out a prophecy. He was raging against it? Exactly. But sometimes your imaginary, fanciful notions of your life are more powerful than you give them credit for. Way To Blue: The Songs Of Nick Drake is at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome on 21 January
appreciated the innate Englishness of our music in a way nobody here could see. He wanted us to try to write something together, and he sent me to Nick Drake’s house. I had a three-month old baby and my guitar. And every time I put the baby down to pick up the guitar, the baby cried. Nick was very silent, as he always was, and it’s very hard not to take it personally. One time in Joe’s office he actually turned his face to the wall rather than speak to me. And of course, in retrospect, that was his illness, and his terrible depression that nobody really had a handle on back then. I have such a clear memory of him that day, hunched over the piano in his black jacket, looking thoroughly bored. I’m sure Joe was despairing of both of us at the time. I lost confidence in my music. But I think Nick always knew how incredibly good he was. I did feel a terrible despair from him, that he knew he was a genius, and that the world didn’t. Back then there was no internet, no way of finding out if people liked you. That might have saved him. One of the songs I’m going to be singing in the show is by his mother, Molly Drake, who was so influential on Nick. She reminded me of my own mother, who would have been a musician – that generation of women who were only allowed to be wives and mothers. This is a tribute to her as much as to Nick.”
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BRIGHTON TATTOO 15
TAT’S ENTERTAINMENT It’s time to step out in delectable body art style for Brighton Tattoo Convention 2010
T
he third annual Brighton Tattoo Convention returns to the city on Saturday 30 and Sunday 31 January at Brighton Racecourse. Last year's event was a great success and this year offers the same great venue, but with a bigger bar, a bigger stage, and even more artists. The weekend convention takes place at the fabulous Brighton Racecourse overlooking the city and the sea. The event brings together 175 of the best artists from the UK and Europe along with guests from the rest of the world for the opening convention of the year. It's time to blow away your new year hangovers and kick off 2010 in super coloured style. Celebrations go on well into the night with the now legendary free Aftershow Party, to be held once again at Concorde 2. Featuring the gypsy blues of The Urban Voodoo Machine, this is most definitely a weekend not to miss! The third annual Brighton Tattoo Convention 2010, Saturday 30–Sunday 31 January, Saturday noon–midnight, Sunday noon–8pm, Brighton Racecourse, day tickets £20/weekend ticket £35. www.brightontattoo.com
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 17
Food & Drink Andrew Kay reports on Gordon Ramsay being cheesy in Sussex and a last chance to get tickets for the Sussex Food & Drink Awards
F is for... fromage N
Last chance for tickets to the Sussex Food & Drink Awards dinner
ot an F-word was heard in Sussex at the end of 2009 when Gordon Ramsay shot his new year TV episode of The F Word with cheesemakers at the High Weald Dairy on Tremains Farm in Horsted Keynes. Mark and Sarah Hardy, owners of the High Weald Dairy – the leading Sussex cheesemakers, who hand-make a large range of award-winning cheeses – hosted Gordon Ramsay and showed him how to make Halloumi cheese for the programme, which focuses on ‘the Greeks versus Moroccans’. While he was there, Ramsay tasted some of the High Weald classic cheeses, including Saint Giles and Tremains Cheddar and he particularly liked the Smoked Duddleswell. He also signed a copy of World Kitchen, his latest cookery book, for the Hardys saying: “A big thank you for teaching me to make the perfect Halloumi.” “Gordon got the hang of it in no time and seemed to enjoy the “Ramsay is a very process of making Halloumi, which is one of the quickest charming man – not at cheeses to make, being prepared all the persona we all in just four to five hours,” said Mark Hardy, High Weald Dairy’s think we know and master cheesemaker, who appears in the programme. love to hate on TV!” Filming went on for four hours, and many cups of tea were consumed while Ramsay performed before the cameras. Sarah Hardy commented that Ramsay had a gentle air and declared him to be “a very charming man – not at all the persona we all think we know and love to hate on TV!” The High Weald Dairy makes cheeses with organic cow’s milk from its own farm, as well as goat and sheep milk, and has won more awards than you can shake a stick at in the last year. Most recently, it won two golds at the 2009 British Cheese Awards for its organic cow’s milk, Ashdown Foresters and Brother Michael cheeses. Just two weeks later in October, its Saint Giles – a semi-soft organic cows milk cheese with an edible orange rind – won Best English Cheese and Best British Cheese and was placed fifth in the world at 2009’s World Cheese Awards. www.highwealddairy.co.uk.
Latest 7 is delighted to be media partner to the Sussex Food & Drink Awards 2009/10, and will be there in force at the awards dinner later this month to report back with the results. There are now just a few tickets left to attend the Sussex Food & Drink awards dinner on Thursday 28 January 2010 at the East Sussex National Golf Resort and Spa. Join the county's top 250 food and drink producers, restaurateurs and foodies and enjoy a stunning black tie event celebrating our wonderful Sussex fare. The evening kicks off with a Sussex bubbly and ale reception sponsored by Harveys Brewery, followed by a five-course dinner made from the best Sussex produce, with lively entertainment and an Oscars-style awards presentation hosted by Danny Pike of BBC Sussex. Tickets are £75 + VAT or £650 + VAT for a table for ten. You can also book discounted rooms to stay overnight. If you are interested in buying tickets, please call Ali West on 01273 857242 or email alexandra@naturalpr.biz
What’s your favourite Sussex cheese? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
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Picture: Alun Price
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18 HOTLIST
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Metrodeco Metrodeco is Brighton’s only 1930s tea salon and art deco furniture shop. One of Kemp Town's newest venues, this Parisian-style cafe has already gained a big reputation for its cream teas, home-baked cakes, sandwiches and bespoke blends. But the real gourmet treat is their delightful afternoon tea. Take time to browse the basement floor of beautiful furnishings and gifts. Party bookings taken and dogs welcome. Metrodeco, 38 Upper St James’s St. BN2 1JN. 07956 978115, www.metro-deco.com
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes
With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Twocourse menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
The Dorset
Chinese
Chimney House
A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails
Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk Donatello
9 Bar Café
French Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian
in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
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DINING DEALS 19
EAT OUT FOR £5 at 01273 775477
01273 677676
£10 for 3 courses • Diners must produce this voucher (4 persons max) • Includes Eat as much as you like hot buffet • Offer available Sunday to Wednesday inclusive • Lunch and Dinner until the end of January
www.balibrasserie.co.uk Tel: 01273 323810 01273 325135
01273 730355
Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2LR
Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Wednesday inclusive. 10% service will be added. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
gourmet three-course lunch on Saturday or Sunday and receive a complimentary bottle of our selected wine. Book a
The restaurant at drakes 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934 www.therestaurantatdrakes.co.uk Valid until 8 February 2010. One bottle per table. Diners must bring this coupon. Menu prices £25.00 p.p. for 3 courses.
10%
t Discoun with this advert
SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com reservation@newsteinehotel.com
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HEALTH
Feel-good factor Make health and wellbeing your main priority in 2010 with Lewes Wellbeing Fest
MAKEOVER YOUR LIFE Zara Baker says January is the perfect time to give your body a complete MOT
N
ew year’s resolutions can be broken as easily as they are made. No more chocolates, cigarettes or alcohol for me, you may think. But restricting your guilty pleasures may just set you on the path to failure. Instead of going cold turkey, cut down gradually and prepare to introduce other changes to your life for a new and improved you. It’s all about taking care of your mind, body and soul.
Mind Firstly, make 2010 the year you’re not so hard on yourself. So you wanted to quit that nasty habit (whatever it may be) by 1 January, but it didn’t quite work out that way. Set yourself goals but understand they need to happen gradually. If you are determined to lose that excess weight, and fast, make a plan for meal times and exercise. But do allow yourself some treats, otherwise you’re likely to fall back into the same eating habits after a short time. Similarly, if this is the year you decide go for a new job or that big promotion, start by writing down realistic ways you will go about achieving this. Envisioning your goal makes it seem doable, and having a plan will mean you’re more in control. Think of it like going to that important work meeting: you probably wouldn’t turn up without knowing what’s on the agenda and having made notes. Approach the whole year ahead in the same way.
Body Look good, feel good, or so the saying goes. And it works the other way round: if you feel good, then you increase your chances of looking good. A positive outlook often equals a healthy glow. A healthy diet, combined with plenty of exercise, is essential to your body in prime health. January is the perfect month for a detox – after the excess fats and alcohol consumed at Christmas, your body will be crying out for a cleanse. There are plenty of recipe books out there devoted to following a detox diet. Stick to a special meal plan for just two weeks, or the full month, and you will start to feel good and look great.
Soul Many of us spend the beginning of the new year soul searching. What point are we at in our lives now? Where do we want to be? Small changes can go a long way towards bringing greater clarity and making us more positive about ourselves. For a real cleansing of the soul, try something different in 2010: make a book list with the goal of reading one book a week or a month (it really is up to you); joining a book club is even better, as you get to meet new people and share a common interest. Start a new hobby such as knitting – it’s no longer just for nannas; there are various weekly groups in and around Brighton. Knitting is practical, enjoyable and productive. You can save money too, by knitting up some great winter woolies or gifts for friends. It’s also far safer than a new year’s resolution to try some extreme sport!
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Now celebrating its fifth year, Lewes Wellbeing Fest returns to the Town Hall (Corn Exchange) and Assembly Rooms on Saturday 16 and Sunday 17 January. Make 2010 the year you put your health and wellbeing first with free talks and taster workshops from some of the UK’s leading practitioners, raising money for the Children With Cancer Fund. Learn how to make easy, delicious raw food delights with food expert Theresa Webb; discover the hidden magic of Sussex with local writer and psychologist Philip Carr-Gomm; explore transformative sound and movement with DJ and Radio Presenter Joel Stewart, and much more. Qualified therapists will be on hand to offer affordable taster treatments including acupuncture, bone health scanning and chiropractic advice. Inspirational art, books and organic fairtrade products will be available across the weekend, along with live music by Lewes band Kalamus. Demos include the Alexander Technique, The Feldenkrais Method, fencing, karate, Pilates, Tai Chi and yoga. The Creative Children’s Area will keep kids entertained, and hunger will be kept at bay with the organic vegetarian and vegan café from Seasons of Lewes and raw food bar from Kitchen Buddy. Lewes WellBeing Fest, Saturday 16 and Sunday 17January 2010, Lewes Town Hall (Corn Exchange) and Assembly Rooms, Lewes, 10.30am–6.30pm Saturday; 11am–5.30pm Sunday, £3.50 (£5 weekend)/free for children under 10, www.leweswellbeingfest.co.uk
Happy new you! Toned doesn’t have to mean tasteless thanks to the award-winning LoveFit Café Keeping your new year’s resolutions just got a lot tastier! The awardwinning LoveFit Café of Brighton Square in The Lanes makes all its food and drinks, such as its chicken and red pesto panini and falafel and houmous pittas, with unique recipes that cut out the rubbish like saturated fat and unnecessary salt and sugar, whilst packing in the good stuff like protein, vitamins and minerals – perfect if you want to stay slim or intend on maintaining a healthy balance for 2010. They’re Brighton’s premier Juice and Smoothie bar, specialities including the popular Immune Boost to help ward off seasonal sniffles. There’s also a range of scrumptious whey protein smoothies exclusively designed for LoveFit by former Mr Universe, Jason Corrick – ideal for both those starting out at the gym or wanting faster gains to seasoned professionals. LoveFit Café, 14 Brighton Square, 01273 777941, www.lovefit.co.uk
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STAGE 21
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 12 to Monday 18 January>
Spring in their step
Stage
Andrew Kay finds everything from cutting edge dance to cuddly koalas in the Brighton Dome’s spring season
B
righton Dome continues to progamme a balanced menu of high art and pure entertainment, and rightly so. If the demands of the intellectual contingent were pandered to, we might soon see the venue struggling for survival. So whilst you may not like everything you see in their spring programme, be grateful that every commercial and populist event is bolstering the finances and keeping the place alive.
Dance With the south east, and Brighton in particular, fast being recognised as the centre for dance, it comes as no surprise that the Dome are able to attract such excellent companies. This is a season packed with outstanding dance events, leaping off with Portuguese choreographer Arthur Pita, who collaborated on the award-winning Mischief here in 2007 and returns with his latest fullDanza Contemporanea de Cuba
length dance theatre work, God’s Garden, on 15 and 16 February. Contemporary dance continues with the first ever major UK tour from Danza Contemporanea de Cuba on 2 and 3 March, the 21 dancers fusing contemporary and classical movement with Afro-Caribbean and Spanish styles, while Richard Alston Dance Company return with an exquisite triple-bill of classic and contemporary repertoire on 16 and 17 March. There is also a playful and humorous introduction to dance for young children aged 4-7 with Telling Tales (20 March), six dancers communicating two well-loved children's stories, and two brand new tales, through the language of dance. Following on from Brendan Cole’s visit, two more stars of the ballroom dance phenomenon Strictly... pay us a visit in Anton And Erin Steppin’ Out, a new live dance and music spectacular, on 27 February. Yes, Anton du Beke, all tails and teeth – but a sure fire night of fun and glamour. If you don’t want to sit on the sidelines, there’s an opportunity to get your feet moving at the Valentines Ball on 14 February, where you can foxtrot to the music of the Berkeley Square Society Band (with a workshop on 8 February). Other workshops include the Jasmin Vardimon Company’s Contemporary Dance Workshop for ages 14+ on 24 January, and U Dance South East for ages 11-14 on 21 February.
Stagelistings
BRIGHTON DOME, PAVILION THEATRE 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org On Race Hill New play about Brighton, inspired by its dark history. >15–16 Jan, 8pm, £5 BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE, www.the-little.co.uk A Murder is Announced Agatha Christie’s classic thriller, adapted by Lesley Darbon >1–6 February, 7.45pm, £7.50
Theatre Kicking off the Dome’s spring theatre programme, On Race Hill (15 and 16 January) is a new play all about Brighton, which plumbs the origins of its ‘dodgy reputation’. A work-in progress presentation, it forms part of Brighton Dome and Festival's Artist Development programme and tells the story of Duncan, a freelance journalist who undertakes to investigate Brighton’s dark past. There are also three wonderful family friendly theatre productions this season. Based on the award-winning picture book by Kathryn Cave and Brighton resident Chris Riddell, Something Else (14 February) is a magical show about the fantastical friendship between two unusual creatures ages 3+.
>7 –24 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details
> Tuesday 13 to Monday 25 January > BRIGHTON DOME, CONCERT HALL 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Beethoven: Overture Egmont, Romance for violin No. 2 in F, Symphony No.9 in D minor (Choral). >17 Jan, 2.45pm, £8–£32
God’s Garden
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE, MINERVA STUDIO 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Hanry V West Sussex Youth Theatre present Shakespeare’s epic tale of a King and his young company striving towards victory. >12–15 Jan, 7.45pm, £10 BRIGHTON CENTRE 01273 290131 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Holiday On Ice: Spirit With awardwinning sets, dramatic scene changes and a dazzling collection of over 350 extravagant costumes, artistic director Robin Cousins combines the four elements with global traditions and modern rhythms.
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 tickets.hawth.co.uk/public/ Die Fledermaus Opera della Luna present the popular operetta. >14–15 Jan, 7.30pm, £18 EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk London Philharmonic Orchestra Debussy, La Mer, Saint-Saëns, Piano Concerto 2, Bizet Symphony in C. Fabien Gabel conductor, Bertrand Chamayou piano. >31 Jan, 3pm, £12–£28 NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.newventure.org.uk The Ugly Ones Sharp, bizarre comedy on themes of beauty and identity. >16–23 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Sun, £6–£9
Adapted from Steven Lee’s new story collection, How The Koala Learnt To Hug (28 March) introduces children to Natasha the Witch, Karen the Koala and gang with stories, games and singalong songs for ages 4+. Meanwhile, What a Wonderful World (17 to 18 April) introduces us to the Sea of Tranquility, where each day on earth is dreamed anew every night. Patrick Lynch of CBeebies' Razzledazzle and Emilia Brodie serve up this playful, interactive show from early years specialists Lyngo, for ages 2-5. For full details visit www.brightondome.org or pick up a brochure
Richard Alston Dance Company
THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Dancing In The Streets Re-creating the energy, style and music of Motown stars and music. >11–16 Jan, 7.45pm, 5pm matinee Fri, 2.30pm matinee Sat, £14–£28.50 Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall Spike Milligan’s celebrated war memoirs, adapted for the stage in a gloriously absurd and exuberant hit comedy. >18–23 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Sat, £13–£28 Present Laughter Noel Coward's classic comedy set in the glamourous world of theatre, starring Robert Bathhurst as flamboyant and self-obsessed actor, Garry Essendine. >25–30 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £13–£28
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 12 January to Monday 18 January >
> Tuesday 12 to Monday 18 January >
>highlight
FRIDAY 15
TUESDAY 12
AUDIO Minimal Kids. A playground for bleeps, squeaks and fashion! 11pm–4am, £8/5 BRIGHTON COALITION Carnivalesque. Carnival capers in a club with art, fancy dress, oodles of cake and live performance to shake a sax at! 10.30pm–4am, £11-6 CONCORDE 2 Superdubpressure. Down to earth Croydon boy, Plastician steps away from the props to shake the living bass out of Concorde . 11pm–5am, £8 DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll. 11pm–3am, £4 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Drink, Dance, Repeat. 11pm–4am, £5/3 HONEY CLUB Hardsouth. Diamond blasting hard dance night. 11pm–5am, £10-5 JAM Broke. Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 11pm–3am, free KOMEDIA Born Bad. A wild and sexy night of delinquent rhythms for discerning hep cats and kittens. 11pm, £6/5 OCEAN ROOMS Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces. 11pm–5am, free PAVILLION TAVERN KOTJ. Loud, dirty rock ‘n’ roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Zodiac Vs Labyrinth. Jumping fidget and tech house from Paul Hilditch and Ross Bennett. 11pm-5am, £5
Cable Club: The Lullabies + Prowess + Time Brings Age Headlined by decent early Foo Fighters-style Brighton grunge poppers The Lullabies. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
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BUKEM IN SESSION LTJ Bukem's sessions are no MOR bass affair, and this month is no different with a special guest to kneel for! In the grimey, sweat-filled basements of the pumping D'n'B scene, this guy is like a neon pink paint bomb. He knocked Mac-Muscled Andy C out of the top spot as DJ Mag's Number One D'n'B DJ, he has a wild obsession with the ‘80s, a penchant for mantastic makeup, and the soundtrack to clockwork Orange changed his life! Mr John B will spin a cosmic mix of trance and electro drenched D'n'B. Unmissable. Saturday 16 January, Concorde 2
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TUESDAY 12 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Dust off your disco shoes and polish up your disco balls... 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–2.30am, £free b4 11, 3/2 after PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £free-3
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SATURDAY 16 AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Pop Musik: A New Decade Of Pop Is Born. 11pm-4am, £6/5 CONCORDE 2 Bukem In Session. 11pm-4am, £5 DIGITAL Playroom. Dirty Electro Grooves meets inflatable madness! 11pm–4am, £15/12 HANBURY CLUB Pop Kraft Saturday Special. Primary Pop overload! 7pm-2am, £8/6 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA Spellbound. An ‘80s club night for all the haters of ‘80s nights. 9pm, £5 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 VOLKS Dubstep Mayhem. Genre bad boys Cotti and Cookie Monsta lay down some epic low-end. 11pm–4am, £5
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WEDNESDAY 13 AUDIO Supercharged. Deep, midweek D'n'B beats from the Metalheadz duo, Commix. 11pm–2.30am, £1 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, RnB, Electro, House, Classics, Dubstep and a squeeze of chart tracks. 11pm–3am, £1 LIFE Let's Kill Disco. Filthy beats from indie and electro to D'n'B and breaks. 10.30pm–2.30am, £2/1 OCEAN ROOMS University Of Life. 11pm, £2
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WEDNESDAY 13 Saxon Shore + Atlases + Escape To Sea Enigmatic, by turns magnificent post-rockers, not dissimilar to New York's finest, Asobi Seksu. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc The Big Black presents: Enos + Funeral Hag + Uncle Debauchery. Lovely stuff. Stoner event featuring Worthing/Brighton sludgey types (and possessors of a great name) Funeral Hag. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
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THURSDAY 14 OK Go Decent US indie pop-rock four-piece, perhaps more famous for the frankly great treadmill-based video for their single 'Here It Goes Again'. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £11 Paperface + Stalebreak Guitar pop-rockers hailing from Brighton and Seaford. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc The Spirit Of Gravity: AK/DK + Nathaniel Virgo Experimental electronic music night featuring percussion/synth duo AK/DK and the joystick sounds of Nathaniel Virgo. With psychedelic imagery from _minimalVector. Komedia, 8pm, £5/4 Vivian Girls Catchy as hell all-female Brooklyn garage rockers. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc
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FRIDAY 15 Squeezebox Rocks Squeezebox Music Studios put on a seasonal showcase. Brighton Dome, 7pm. £6/4
The Horrors Gothish punk-Rotters who have seemingly outgrown their scenester status with this year’s acclaimed second album. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £10.50
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SATURDAY 16 A Day After Tomorrow + Charlie November Uniform Tango Surprisingly heavy metalcore kids, considering their liking for the ol' ghds. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £tbc Brighton Jazz Club: David Newton Trio Weekly gathering of jazz musicians and aficionados. Komedia, 8pm, £12-15 Exit Avenue + Mimi Soya + The Critical + The Felony + Eyes + Guest DJ Early show featuring the secretly pretty great pop punks Mimi Soya. Concorde 2, 6pm-10pm, £8 Flipside: Jailbait + Bad Bad Whisky Headlined by popular local rockabilly types Jailbait. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Sound Factory: Justice Force 5 + Thieves By The Code + Angst + London Commands You Local bands night featuring Brightonian superhero punks Justice Force 5. The Providence, 7.30pm, £2
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SUNDAY 17 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert featuring Barry Wordsworth conducting and the Brighton Festival Chorus performing works by Beethoven. Brighton Dome 2.45pm, £8-32
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MONDAY 18 Real McKenzies + Asbo Retards + Fred Westlife Featuring beer-punk sillies Asbo Retards and the fantastically named band known as Fred Westlife. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
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Nick Aldwinckle
Jailbait
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THURSDAY 14 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Bang Bang. Hip-hop, dub step and D’n’B! 9pm–3.30am HONEY CLUB Fusion. Six DJs, three rooms of sexy R’n’B, indie and house, one place to be. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. A sweat box of ‘50s rhythm & blues and original Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3 LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1
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SUNDAY 17 BRIGHTON COALITION Frequency. Delivering a range of house/breaks/electro. 10pm, free HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1
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MONDAY 18 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Detention. Weekly student trash bash. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/free Jaime Pettit
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thu 14 jan
tues 19 jan
tues 26 jan
catalyst club
café scientifique
future shorts
a monthly event which blends the old traditions of a french salon with debating societies 8pm £5
simon goodwin (university of sheffield) are we alone? looking for life on other planets 7.30pm £2
local filmmakers night www.futureshorts-brighton.co.uk
fri 15 jan
wed 20 jan
wed 27 jan
7.30pm £tbc
sing from the heart sweet addiction rootie tootie + the ska band + the montagues + georgina levey performance choir 8pm £1.50 8pm–10pm £5 thurs 28 jan fri 22 jan poleoke like karaoke but with pole dancing. the jo harman project ska bar www.poleoke.co.uk get rhythm live presents
with amy hill + danni nicholls + the crucks
jan u s ary am ale! az
dri n i tickks de ng thr et of als & fe o jan ughou rs uar t y
10.30pm £5 sun 17 jan
this morning call + support 7.30pm £5 mon 18 jan
the bobby
los albertos + popes of chill town +tin roots + true beat 8pm £3
+ cordelia fellowes + bruise
sun 24 jan
the funky buddha band
iris & the wolves + kiina + pheonix williams
'brighton's legendary open-mic, the ukulele research and development society returns 7.30pm £2
'best british voice to emerge in decades'
8pm £6 in advance
fri 29 jan original & contemporary funk and soul
7.00pm £6/4
mon 25 jan
McGees
Doors 8pm Show 8.30 £3
8pm £5
sun 31 jan Patrick Piano presents
love music hate racism buffy the vampire Singer songwriters and bands across all genres in slayer – the musical
support of this national cause.
8pm £5
8pm £tbc
manchester street, brighton tel.
01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
023_LS457_musichighlights_news
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MUSIC 23
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 12 to Monday 18 January > OK Go
With Jeff Hemmings
OK GO Oddball American outfit, part-rock, part-glam, part-geek, made infamous by their brilliant videos that became viral sensations, particularly the one for ‘A Million Ways’ which was made for a measly ten bucks. They’ve had success before and since, though, and with a third album out this year, it’ll be interesting to see if their dress sense is as mad as ever. A great live band, too. Thursday 14 January, Concorde 2
Transformer
all
THIS MORNING CALL
FRENCH CONNECTION
This Morning Call – aka Ben Heyworth – is a singer, songwriter and producer from Manchester who writes downtempo but lifeaffirming tunes that engage the brain, please the ears and move the feet. 'Portishead on anti depressants' is how one reviewer puts it. ‘LCD on a hangover’ says another. Whatever the case, there’s a sense of bleakness in this Manchester sound. Sunday 17 January, Latest Music Bar
Vive La France!, Melting Vinyl’s French music showcase, is returning for a second year of channel-crossing tuneage
F
THE ADVENTURISTS Collaboration between Dan Clarke (The Hat) and Sam Walker (Turning Green). Expect sonorous spoken word, performance swapping and off the cuff tomfoolery with maverick storytelling and multi-instrumental songsmithery. Working closely with a trunkful of instruments, two unruly voices and the audience, expect all the above and more. Wednesday 13 January, Upstairs At Three And Ten
eaturing five events over three days at venues across the city, Vive La France! returns this month and is a little bigger than the inaugural event last year. “It was a collective concept that came from the idea that there is a renaissance in France of interesting French music that would appeal to a UK audience,” says Anna Moulson, director of Melting Vinyl. “And because Brighton has such a well developed music audience, they are accepting of artists they may never have heard of, and they are excited by the genres, which are particularly strong in France.” “January is also a quiet time in Brighton, so it’s a good time to do it!” adds colleague Paul McGivern. The French music scene is changing fast; a strong indie scene has started developing, catching up with its much better known brothers and sisters, hip-hop and dance. “Younger people are seeing more international touring acts and being influenced by them,” says Anna, “which is reflected in the opening up of French culture which for many years was highly protective of indigenous talent. “Paul has done a lot of the research on the artists, and I’ve tried to steer it into certain genres
like Parisien electro-pop, French folk and chanson and French bohemia.” Acts such as electro-rockers Naive New Beaters, Miniscule Hey, Hamilton Yarns and Nouvelle Vague’s Marina Celeste are performing. Who else is involved in this project? “The French Music Bureau in London, who are affiliated to the culture department of the French Government – they promote French music on French labels in the UK. “Also, there’s Les Inrockuptibles, France’s premier music magazine,” says Anna. “The editor, JD, is based in Brighton, he’s been very helpful.” “We wanted to get local connections with local businesses such as Mange Tout [the café bistro in the North Laine],” says Paul, “but also Brightonbased bands that have French members. We have a strand that celebrates local artists with French connections. For instance, Les Zuts is a one-off collaboration between local Gallic entrepreneur Laurent Robert and other Brighton musicians.” Vive La France! 21–23 Jan, www.meltingvinyl.co.uk
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THE REAL
Friday 12th March £15
CONCORDE 2 Doors 7pm Show 7.30pm Finish 10pm
HOUSE OF COMMONS
latestjeff
Are you interested in local politics? Our new high profile political club – a cross betwen The Oxford Union & Have I Got News For You – seeks interested people to make it the club of 2010! call Bill on 01273 687171 or email bill@thelatest.co.uk
no expenses!
024_LS457_Art/Events
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 12 to Monday 18 January >
> Tuesday 12 to Monday 18 January >
ROYAL PAVILION ANNUAL FREE DAY
Brighton Photography
Once a year the Royal Pavilion, one of the most instantly recognisable architectural images in the world, opens its doors to the public free of charge. Regularly topping the list of Brighton's most popular tourist attractions, the Pavilion can be overlooked by the city's own residents, so if you haven’t already visited the sumptuous Music Room, the impressive Banqueting Hall or the Great Kitchen, then now is your opportunity. Designed by John Nash for the then Prince Regent, later King George IV, at the beginning of the nineteenth century, this oriental fantasy still retains a sense of majesty and glamour. Many of the items in the palace are original pieces on loan from the Queen. Audio guides (in seven languages) are available to talk you through the history of the building Understandably, this is a very popular day so get there early to appreciate one of the most distinctive landmarks of our city. Royal Pavilion Annual Free Day, Sunday 17 January, 10am–4.30pm, 4/5 Pavilion Buildings, Brighton, 03000 290902. www.royalpavilion.org.uk
Events highlights TUESDAY 12
SATURDAY 16
Songwriters workshop Share your original lyrics and give and receive constructive feedback on how to improve. First visit is free. www.brightonsongwriters.co.uk Upstairs at The Brunswick, Hove, 7pm–9pm, £5/3
Woodcraft Skills for Parent and Child For a family fun day out this weekend, try a one-day course to develop your woodcraft skills and bond with your kids. Activities on the day include working with a range of natural materials and fire lighting. Bring your own lunch; light refreshments provided. Booking essential. www.sussexwt.org.uk Stanmer Park, Brighton, 01273 497561 to book, 07821 629955 on day of event. 10.30am, £10–£15
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TUESDAY 12 – WEDENSDAY 13 Ardingly International Antiques and Collectors Fair Fine furniture, ceramics, glassware and textiles. Over 1,000 indoor and outdoor stalls. South of England Showground, Nr Haywards Heath, West Sussex, 01636 702326, 9am–5pm Tues, 8am–4pm Wed, £10 Tues, allows entry Wed also/£5 Wed only
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BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989
Dine for
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2 courses & a glass of wine OR
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To advertise here costs only £20 Call Rachel Bryant now!
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Although the name has changed from North Laine Photography, the annual calendar is still a must-have for any discerning home. Founder Nigel Swallow provides many of the images, which are being exhibited at his gallery space, plus there’re contributions from Roger Bamber, Alex Anni Agnise Bamford, Sebastien Krebs, Anni Agnise, Henry Law and many others. Brighton Photography Calendar exhibition, upstairs, Snoopers Paradise, Kensington Gardens, 01273 62879. Until 31 January
Richard Grayson Investigating the importance of language and narrative in how we comprehend the world, Richard Grayson attempts to engage his audience with complex ideas via playful forms. For instance, Messiah is a dual projection video work in which a country and western band perform new musical settings for the libretto of Handel’s 1742 oratorio, ‘The Messiah’. Visitors are asked to sit on bales of hay to consider this work... Richard Grayson, De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-On-Sea, 01424 229111, 16 January–14 March
Subject/Matter First ever indoor exhibition of mid-scale works for the world famous Cass Sculpture Foundation. Located in the new Foundation Centre at Goodwood, Subject/Matter showcases emerging and innovative sculptural talent from around the world including Thomas Adank, James Balmforth, Juliana Cerqueira Leite (work pictured), Sarah Staton and Asif Khan. Subject/Matter, The Foundation Centre, Goodwood, 01243 538449. Until 28 March
Operation Scipio Display of paintings by Cyril Mount based on his military service in North Africa during WWII. Operation Scipio was the codename given by General Montgomery to this campaign. This display of paintings focuses on one incident. The Royal Sussex Regiment were part of the action. Operation Scipio: Paintings by Cyril Mount, Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900, until 7 February
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Supported by
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filmhighlight
L7 Film
Where The Wild Things Are (PG) Dir: Spike Jonze
A lonely young boy, Max, lands on an island entirely populated by mysterious, massive and very melancholy creatures – aka the Wild Things. They embrace Max into their community and, desperate for a leader, make his their new king. But ruling and keeping his subjects happy proves more of a challenge than he bargained for. Spike Jonze directs this screenplay of Maurice Sendak’s classic picture book. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Showing this week Sherlock Holmes
(12A)
Dir: Guy Ritchie
Expect mystery, action, adventure and a surprisingly adept English accent from Robert Downey Jnr as the eponymous Holmes. Ably assisted by Jude Law’s Doctor Watson, he meets a brand new nemesis. Yes, another one! This time it’s Mark Strong’s Lord Blackwood, out to bring down the entire country with elaborate plotting and new-fangled ideas. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
The Road (15) Dir: John Hillcoat
Daybreakers (15) Dir: Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig
It’s Complicated (15) Dir: Nancy Meyers
The mixed up Facebook status now has it’s own film, starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin as a divorced couple having an affair with each other. A farcical comedy of relationships, proving that you don’t have to be fresh-faced and naive to fall in love and get things more than a little confused. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
It’s 2019. So, no flying cars but it seems we’ve got a vampire plague to come in the not so distant future, according to the Spierig writer/director brothers. Sam Neill is a sun-shy, power hungry corporate boss in the face of a blood shortage, out to hunt down the now pretty rare species called ‘human’ and set up a farm to keep the rest of the brood fed and paying through the vein for it. Elsewhere, benevolent vamp Ethan Hawke is Chief Blood Researcher, and he thinks he’s found a synthetic replacement for the red stuff. Whooppee! Can he hook up with the human rebellion led by Elvis (played by Willem Dafoe – yes, he’s called Elvis!) and stop the big bad literally bloodthirsty businessman in time to prevent human extinction? Cracking visuals and a top cast are on our side. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Avatar 3D & 2D (12A) Dir: James Cameron A tale of a land far, far away inhabited by tall blue creatures called Na’vi, and some humans. Disabled human soldier Jake (Sam Worthington) steps into his
avatar resembling a Na’vi and meets a female of the species – Neytiri (Zoe Saldana). Then it all kicks off with
discovery and learning and the like – and maybe some kissing... Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
The much anticipated adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s bleak postapocalyptic tale of a father and son crossing a barren America with gangs of cannibals and an angry landscape in their way. Including a fantastic performance from Viggo Mortenson as the father, and soundtrack cowritten by our own Nick Cave. Showing at Duke of York’s
Up In The Air (15) Dir: Jason Reitman
From the man who brought us Juno comes this quirky tale starring George Clooney as Ryan Bingham, a travelling managment consultant – which means he goes around and makes folk redundant. Combining a rom com with a buddy movie, this is lovely – and tipped to collect big at the next round of award-giving. Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 12
TUESDAY 12
TUESDAY 12
TUESDAY 12
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 2.30, 4.30, 6.45 Avatar 3D (12A) 4.00, 7.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 8.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.45, 4.25, 7.00, 9.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 5.30, 8.00 The Informant! (15) 9.15 It’s Complicated (15) 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 Nine (12A) 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.15 St. Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 2.45 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 3.30
Bright Star (12A) 11.00 (Silver Screen) The Road (15) 1.30 & 4.00 (Silver Screen), 6.30, 9.00
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.40, 3.20, 4.20, 7.00, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 12.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 9.00 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 12.40, 3.10, 5.40, 8.10 It’s Complicated (15) 12.30, 3.15, 5.55, 8.40 Nine (12A) 8.20 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 St. Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 1.40, 6.00 The Road (15) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50
Nine (12A) 7.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 7.30
WEDNESDAY 13 Bright Star (12A) 11.00 (Big Scream) The Road (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
THURSDAY 14 The Road (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
FRIDAY 15 That Kind Of Girl (12A) 11.00 (Late Show) Up In The Air (15) 4.00, 9.00
THURSDAY 14 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 2.30, 4.30, 6.45 Amelia (PG) 10.30am Avatar 3D (12A) 4.00, 7.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 8.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.45, 4.25, 7.00, 9.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 5.30, 8.00 It’s Complicated (15) 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 Nine (12A) 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.15, 9.15 St. Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 2.45 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 3.30
Films showing Friday 15–Monday 18 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Nine (12A) 7.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 7.30
THURSDAY 14 Nine (12A) 2.00, 7.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 7.30
Films showing Friday 15–Monday 18 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
WEDNESDAY 13 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 2.30, 4.30, 6.45 Avatar 3D (12A) 4.00, 7.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 8.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.45, 4.25, 7.00, 9.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 5.30, 8.00 It’s Complicated (15) 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 Nine (12A) 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.15, 9.15 St. Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 2.45 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 3.30
WEDNESDAY 13
WEDNESDAY 13 SATURDAY 16 Carmen 6.00 Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (U) 11.00 (Kids’ Club) The Road (15) 1.30 The Twilight Saga: New Moon/Twilight (12A) 11.59pm Up In The Air (15) 3.30
SUNDAY 17 Members Screening: Precious (15) 11.00 (Members Free Screening) Penny Points To Paradise (PG) 1.30 The Road (15) 6.30 Up In The Air (15) 4.00, 9.00
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.40, 3.20, 4.20, 7.00, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 12.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 9.00 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 12.40, 3.10, 5.40, 8.10 It’s Complicated (15) 12.30, 3.15, 5.55, 8.40 Nine (12A) 8.20 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 St. Trinians 2... (PG) 1.40, 6.00 The Road (15) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50
THURSDAY 14 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.40, 3.20, 4.20, 7.00, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 12.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 9.00 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 12.40, 3.10, 5.40, 8.10 It’s Complicated (15) 12.30, 3.15, 5.55, 8.40 Nine (12A) 8.20 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 St. Trinians 2... (PG) 1.40, 6.00 The Road (15) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50
MONDAY 18 Up In The Air (15) 4.00, 9.00
Sherlock Holmes
Films showing Friday 15–Monday 18 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel
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COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 12 January to Monday 18 January >
> Tuesday 12 January to Monday 18 January >
PAPPY’S PRESENTS A WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT: 200 sketches in an hour (plus bonus sketches and an interval)
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atthew Crosby is one third of new group Pappy’s, along with Ben Clark and Tom Parry. They used to be the award-winning Pappy’s Fun Club, but have amended the name since the departure of Brendan Dodds in November, wishing him well with all future endeavours. So what is this Pappy’s show all about? Matthew explains the show, and the group. “It is an attempt to break a world record, but if you know anything about Pappy’s Fun Club you'll know that our attempts aren’t always running as smoothly as we would like them to. It’s everything in the title. It’s Pappy’s World Record attempt. Right at the top of the show Tom will always say, we heavily stress the word ‘attempt’, and that’s the phrase that sums up the show more than anything else. “With Tom, he’s just like an overgrown child. He gets very over excited. That’s his style. He can’t avoid it. Ben is kind of dopey and sweet and silly, but ultimately he will side with Tom. I’m there like some sort of frustrated single mother – also, I’m incredibly pedantic and pernickety and fastidious. Not at all suited to being in a knock around sketch group when you think about it, because I’m being constantly frustrated by people messing around – and that’s all we do really.” Komedia, Thursday 21 January, 8pm, £12/10
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TUESDAY 12 CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH Bring the Noise. Dare to share your own MP3 playlists and chill out with your own music. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Payday: Ice Queen's Ball. Xmas meets Narnia in this snow storm of chart remixes and floor fillers 10.30pm, £3/2 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
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WEDNESDAY 13 AMSTERDAM The Piano Bar. Mark Russell woos the crowds with his special blend of music. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Poker Night. Texas Hold’em Poker tournament! Cash prizes and more for grabs!! 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Anything Goes. Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm, free R-BAR Midweek Mash Up. DJ Beast playing her finest mash ups from electro pop to darker shades of electric vibes! 12pm–2am THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
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CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL: My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Medication Thursday. After work drinks specials plus a prescription free round of pool with each round! So get 'em in! 1pm, free LEGENDS Absolut Karaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top: Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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Comedy listings THURSDAY 14 Top Banana Stalwart of the new act Brighton circuit comes under new management, with Romesh Ranganathan, Michael Mooney, Alan Seabrook, Sha Wylie, Dan Blunt, Jonjo Rowlands and more. Cella@Sanctuary, 8pm, £2
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FRIDAY 15 Krater Comedy Club Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Junior Simpson (Fri & Sat), Sarah Millican and Gary Delaney! MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £14.50/10
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International Stand-up Strap yourself in for a night of classic stand-up, with a sprinkling of the surreal. Featuring an internationally sourced line-up. Hosted by Richard Brophy. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 9.30pm, £8/6
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CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. The best bubblegum tunes, sweet camp pop and your requests. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A (Queer & Alternative). Playing Indie, electro, soul, punk, and old school classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop. Join Alex Baker and Stewart T for a night of chart remixes, dance anthems and commercial house. 10.30pm–5am, free -5 THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop and handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
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Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 7pm, £17.50 & 10.30, £15
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The Noise Next Door This energetic five-some transform audience suggestions into ludicrous characters, barbed one liners and musical extravagance in the blink of an eye, with hilarious consequences. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6
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SUNDAY 17 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 8pm, £11/£6
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Cheek2Cheek have stuck their heels into the commercial gay scene with a fab alternative to the sambucca washed climate of gay dating with 12 years of partner dances from Quickstep to West Coast Swing. Tonight is their annual New Year’s ball with sparkling attire and dazzling ballroom, latin and line dance selections spun by Jacky's Jukebox. Don your best frock and you might just leave with more than fun memories! Saturday 16 January, The Old Market
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SATURDAY 16 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls Rock On. Spinning their own selection of music by the women we love! 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Peter & Friends + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin ‘til midnight! 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE OLD MARKET Cheek2Cheek: Sparkling New Year Ball (see highlight) 8pm–12.30am, £15/12.50 THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Viva La Divas. Live music up close and personal from 6pm with the lovely Chelle! 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents... Miss Hap. 9.30pm, free
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SUNDAY 17 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free CHARLES STREET BAR Showtime. Side-splitting cabaret from the Drag With No Name 7pm, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Topping & Butch. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. With your host, Cat. 6pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. Relaxing acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by Miss Jason's barmy Bingo! 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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FRIDAY 15
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SATURDAY 16 Laughing Horse Comedy A heat of the 2010 Laughing Horse New Act of the year competition, with acts vying for a place in the quarter finals and a chance to win prizes worth £2,000. With new acts: Kevin Shevlin, Jonjo Rowlands, James Birk, Kat Cade, Lana Garth, Darren Pomeroy, Susan Hanks, Will Hayler, Rue Barratt, Tom Goble, Sam Savage, Andy Ward, Rob Dumbrell, Dave Chawner and Kerry Herbert. Plus the chance for the audience to find a comedy-star-of-tomorrow as the night is judged X-Factor style with audience voting. With resident compere Sajeela Kershi. The Quadrant, 8.30pm, £6/5
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THURSDAY 14
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MONDAY 18 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
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027_LS457_reviews
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REVIEWS
27
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk BRENDAN COLE: LIVE AND UNJUDGED Brendan Cole, his five dancers, great band and singers raised the roof of the Dome with a show that was truly entertaining. A whirlwind display of latin and ballroom dances, a few songs and a bit of banter made for a well rounded evening. The real joy, though, was seeing the dance live and not through the over-complex eyes of TV camera men. Lovers of Strictly... should catch this show and discover the true grace and elegance of ballroom dancing as well as the excitement. Fab frocks, great choreography and fantastic dancers – and Cole is a real charmer. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 23 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
THE HORRORS If shoulder pads, orange eyeshadow and Dynasty re-runs give you the shudders, get a dose of The Horrors instead. With their stripped-down vocals, distorted guitar and ubercool goth hairdos, this was the gig for the darker, more discerning ’80s revivalist; close your eyes and it was pure Joy Division. Not that the fans were all 40-something misfits; a huge, hormone-fuelled mob bounced frantically to ‘Three Decades’ (despite most having achieved less than two themselves), while reverentially contorting their hands into devil signs whenever black-clad frontman Faris Badwan looked vaguely in their direction. It’s what Ian Curtis would have wanted. Concorde 2, 18 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Colette Bernhardt
COMIC BOOM
SHOWSTOPPER! THE IMPROVISED MUSICAL Writing a musical must be tough enough, but improvising one based upon the humorous and malicious suggestions of a post-Christmas audience is surely a Herculean entertainment task. Incorporating style suggestions including Tom Waits and South Pacific, with a format of a panicked narrator frantically writing a show to appease a big time producer, the off the cuff manner worked well, combined with a clearly talented and resourceful cast. The best bits were when the cast were thrown curveballs by the narrator, interrupting the action to tweak it, the weakest when lines were repeated – a device used frequently in musicals but in no way helping to move the story on. An entertaining night from strong performers, but not overly taxing on the audience’s brain. A Komedia residency for Showstopper! is rumoured for later this spring... Komedia, 27 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
Comic Boom is a banker of a comedy night – you just know you'll have a stomping good time. You get a sneaky peek at some of the best comics about to step into the full-blown comedy circuit spotlight, as well as a brilliant hand-picked national star as a headliner. December was no exception, with half a dozen varied and fab acts keeping everyone out of the post-Christmas blues. Jane Hill was original, skewed and highly likeable, and Benny Boot kept the energy high and screams of laughter coming. Award-winning headliner Zoe Lyons was on top form, as engaging and fun as ever. This was a comedy night for fans of real comedy, without a stag night in sight. Komedia, 30 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
STARS IN THEIR MINCE PIES With gravity-defying wigs, collapsing keyboards, glitter-ball heels and more than a little improvisation, Stars in Their Mince Pies was pure Brighton. Despite the scantily clad, shimmering delight that was Boogaloo Stu as Alvin Stardust, it was the overly dramatic Janis Joplin that won over the crowd to secure a victory. Arguably, however, it was the final act – a Nessa-like and utterly fabulous, albeit rather out-ofbreath Cher – who really stole the show, closing her performance by making sweet stage-love to a lucky (if rather frightened) man in the front row! Camp Christmas fun. Komedia, 20 December ✪✪✪✪✪ Sian Disson
TWICE AS ICE HOLIDAY ON ICE: SPIRIT Brighton Centre, until 24 January ✪✪✪✪✪
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t was colder outside than in as the skaters took to the ice, but that didn’t stop this being perhaps the best offering from HOI for many years. What was it that made this new (to Brighton) show so much better? Well, the answer is simple, it was a more sophisticated presentation in so many ways. For years HOI have laboured with an entertainment style that had seemed caught in a cultural time warp. The best efforts of brilliant choreographers and directors, like our own Robin Cousins, have of course made their impact. Cousins certainly has – over the last few years – managed to bring some extraordinary things to the ice. But even he has laboured under a pressure to maintain classic ice show values that, to be frank, can make the whole thing a little cheesy. On this night though, the whole performance had a slick glamour to it that seemed to break the mould, with the most noticeable element being the design. There is a clean-lined
simplicity to Spirit, a simplified pallete of colours too. Gone is gaudy and tinselly frou frou; here we have soft greys, street-wear and natural colours. Combine this with a great set, suspended from above rather than breaking the eye line, and brilliant lighting, and you have a cohesive whole that took my breath away. As for the skating, well, what can one say when presented by world class ice athletes? This was first class from start to finish. I enjoyed the combination of Robin Cousins as artistic director and Karen Kresge as choreographer. The corps seemed well drilled with a constant focus to the dance. Top marks, too, for special effects, with kites and flowing capes and great aerial acts and acrobats. Holiday On Ice is moving on at every level. I look forward with renewed enthusiasm to seeing where they’ll take it next. Andrew Kay Book now: 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
028_LS457_Sports/TV_Column
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SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
L7 TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
12 –18 JANUARY
Off The Pitch
Telly Talk
Adam Virgo on a decade of sporting achievements
With Victoria Nangle
O
Into the void
ver the last decade so many sporting events have happened and so many titles have been won and lost; but for me there are five sporting achievements that stand out above the rest. At number five, I have gone for the Invincible as they have been titled, and that’s Arsenal’s unbeaten season. Being a footballer myself, I can honestly say I can’t see this happening again. The premiership is the toughest league in the world; it’s the fastest and has the best players as well. Not only did Arsene Wenger revert to solid English-based players like Seaman, Campbell and Adams but he also went out and brought flair and class with Bergkamp and Henry, to name a few. The combination was perfect, and that’s why they had the perfect season. At number four is the 2005 Ashes series between England and Australia, probably the greatest series we will ever see in cricket. The excitement gripped England as a nation. Test cricket has not always had a great name but regaining the Ashes put English test cricket back where it belongs. With a masterful display from Freddie Flintoff, the tactical Captaincy of Michael Vaughn and a fantastic team performance to knock over the greats of the game like Shane Warne, it was a fantastic performance all round. At number three is, in my eyes, the greatest sports man of all time, and that is Tiger Woods, when at one stage he held all four golfing majors. Being an amateur hacker myself round the golf course, I know how tough mentally and physically it is to play golf to the standard that Tiger has set. His play has taken golf forward to new levels with money and sponsorship. Some players strive their whole career to win one major, let alone four at the same time. He will be missed during his time off but I am sure it won’t be the last time you will see Tiger holding the claret jug in England or putting on the green jacket again. I don’t think all four majors will be held again by the same person, though. For number two, I have gone for Lance Armstrong’s seventh Tour de France title, and with the twist that he came back from time off after his testicular cancer fight. They say it’s the most gruelling event you can go into. However, what I respect the most about Lance Adam Virgo with team mates Tommy Elphick, Andy Whing, Gary Hart Armstrong is he is and James Tunnicliffe at the Adam Virgo Foundation Christmas party at Madame Geisha. Image: Keith Collins someone who took a massive negative and turned it into a positive. He is now an inspiration to millions round the world with his LiveStrong charity, and proof of where positive thinking can get you. My number one goes to Sir Steve Redgrave who won his fifth gold medal at the Sydney Olympics: an amazing achievement in the biggest sporting event in the world today. To maintain that standard and professionalism over a 20 year period is no mean feat. None of these top five will be achieved again in our lifetime. But do email comment@thelatest.co.uk and tell me if there are other achievements you think I should have included. Adam Virgo plays for Brighton and Hove Albion FC and his foundation raises funds for three charities. Adam is also HEART UK’s Sussex Ambassador for Team Red Laces.
Silent Witness, BBC1 Thursday and Friday
S
ometimes, when there’s something missing, it can have a bigger effect than if it was there. Bear with me on this one. If someone’s nicked your lunchtime chocolate buttons it can create more of a reaction than if they just left well alone. You get my drift? Such is the way of the learning and growing in this week’s Silent Witness. Just because something’s not there it doesn’t mean it’s not important. With themes of family, jealousy and rivalries popping up left right and centre, and the delectible Emilia Fox and Tom Ward taking centre stage as star pathologists now that Leo’s been indisposed with a massive bump to the head (dangerous work, pathology) the balance is more than a little askew. Little wonder this particular two-parter is called ‘Voids’. When you think about it – and I have – it’s rather like spotting themes in Wuthering Heights for a school essay. Examples of voids in this episode, then: Professor Leo’s absence from the lab; dashing Northern literati John Lynch’s dead first wife and mother to his daughter; the copper wot was done for by lovely Lynch’s exposé book, who was also mentor to the investigating officer; that blotch in the blood that set the whole thing off. Nelly Dean would have a field day with this. Add in the competition between Harry and Nikki, between Lynch’s daughter and second wife – do I need to go on? There are mega themes at work here! And that’s not a bad thing. Like the aforementioned Wuthering Heights, this continuity
of priorities in the story and search for balance makes the far-fetched believable and gripping. And there are pretty and handsome leads, too. Actually, John Lynch would make quite a dashing Heathcliff, but that’s another fantasy casting – a game which can be quite good fun given the right environment. The themes whirl around, throwing our intrepid pathologists off balance. They are both expert witnesses in the case – is it murder or an accident? Who is right? And why does Harry accuse Nikki of loving being at the centre of the drama, saying that she’s becoming like Jane Eyre? We have a conflict of Brontë sister tomes here but even he seems to think I’m on the right track. There is a symmetry that’s out of balance with the voids and it’s fighting to come back. I won’t spoil the end by telling you if it does or not. You’d best watch for yourself. The thing is, with the amount of death involved in a drama series centring around a group of pathologists, tragedy is never far away. And it’s not a huge leap to move from tragedy to Gothic horror. Just a thought.
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029_LS457_TV_Tue
1/7/10
5:07 PM
Page 1
tuesday 12 Survivors BBC1, 9pm With 99 per cent of the population dead, this lot must be pretty good at being survivors to make it to a second series. Quick recap: feral landscape, Abby’s kidnapped and Greg’s been hurt. Badly. So much so, Anya and the rest of the Family brave disease and fire to get medical equipment from a hospital for him. Bless.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Five, 9pm Tis the season for a new series, fa la la la la, la la la la. Reap the benefits of new episodes of favourite series’ in this period of post Crimbo and post sales semi poverty. The CSIs are investigating the death of a starlet, plus Sara Sidle steps into the breech after Riley’s departure.
Mr Bean ITV3, 8pm & 8.30pm No, not an evening with Spanish Prime Minister José Luís Zapatero. Rowan Atkinson’s silent clown gets a double bill, demonstrating some of the best foolery in the business. Deriving the hilarious from the mundane, tonight’s simple-made-complex tasks include diving and making a sandwich.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Deadly 60 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Tronji 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Deadly 60 8.00 Planet Ajay 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 Nature’s Calendar 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open Gardens 1.30 Masters Snooker 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Documentary series in which Michael Portillo returns to the historic Settle-Carlisle line to find out what has happened to it since he helped save it in the 1980s. 7.00 Masters Snooker Reigning Welsh Open champion Ali Carter failed to make it past the opening round in 2009, so will be hoping for an improvement this time. Turn the colour right off and guess which is which, like in olden days of black’n’white tellies. Fun! 8.00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best Si and Dave celebrate the picnic and make tasty treats that could make a veritable feast. 9.00 Simon Schama On Obama’s America A year on from Barack Obama’s inauguration, Simon Schama examines the issue that more than any other will determine the fate of his presidency: the inherited war in Afghanistan. 10.00 Muslim Driving School An insight into the lives of Muslim women learner drivers, their instructors and their families. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Masters Snooker Younger and more colourful brother to Master Yoda and Grandmaster Flash. 12.10am Masters Snooker – Extra 2.10 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.50 Celebrity Big Brother 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Back To You 12.35 FILM: Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 2.50 How Clean Is Your House? 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Mark and Faye have second thoughts about their plan, but is it too late to stop the fallout? 7.30 The Krypton Factor Four more contestants compete for a place in the semi-finals of TV’s toughest quiz. 8.00 Send In The Dogs In Greater Manchester, PC Greaves and his German Shepherd Riley foil some teenage thieves in the process of robbing a discount store. An indightment on today’s society in so many ways. 9.00 Piers Morgan On Marbella Piers Morgan sets out to discover the real Marbella – but does he find it to be the poor man’s St Tropez or a place in the sun for multimillionaires? He tours a villa belonging to a British knight – which rents out for 20,000 euros a day – and goes shopping with former Birmingham City Football Club MD Karren Brady for a £16,000 handbag. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Doctors And Nurses At War Series following volunteer doctors and nurses from the NHS and fulltime army surgeons. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Kathleen goes too far at a school talk and Des throws her out. On her derriere. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Good To Know 8.00 My Big Fat Diet Show Anna Richardson shows viewers how to drop a dress size in two weeks. Chop yer chest off? Apparently there are less radical and more practical ways. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.10 The Girl Who Cries Blood Bodyshock special about 13-year-old Twinkle Dwivedi who, for nearly two years, has inexplicably cried tears of blood. The spontaneous bleeding, which happens almost daily, also comes from her head, hands and feet. Gotta be a miracle in there somewhere. 11.15 The Big Bang Theory Comedy. Raj must find a job or he will be sent back to India so Sheldon employs him. 11.40 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. Guest panelists are Claudia Winkleman and Jamelia. 12.10am Full Tilt Poker 1.10 World Sport 1.40 Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.45 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 5.35 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Milkshake Monkey 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Monster Moves: Supersize Submarine 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Zoo Days: Crown Crane Paddock 3.00 FILM: Children Of My Heart (2000) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole and Liam reach an impasse. Miles’s troubles become more complicated. Can anyone give the guy a break?! 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on North America’s notorious ice highways. Appreciated all the more after our own random bad weather. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation See highlights. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. The CSIs race to discover who shot Horatio. And with the deadly fusedalloy bullets he was tracking about to hit the streets of Miami, the heat is on... It’s Miami! Of course there’s heat! It’s blimmin hot! Duh. 11.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. Mac returns from a holiday in London to investigate the murder of a security guard at the Statue of Liberty. The face of the monument has been stained with blood and another guard is missing. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.55 Rough Guide To Activity Holidays 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Irish Football 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm Netbusters 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Irish Football 3.30 Netbusters 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Football’s Next Star 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am World Match Racing Tour 2009 12.30 Revista De La Liga 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Poker 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Hyundai A League
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ian’s wickedness is revealed to Jane. Bit late for panto villains. Mwah ha ha. 8.00 Holby City Faye is worried she may be blamed for injuring Lauren. She swears to Joseph she didn’t do it and persuades him to lie to the police on her behalf. Ric is fired up and wants to bring a vote of no confidence against Vanessa. 9.00 Survivors See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Man Who Can’t Stop Hiccupping To most people hiccups are a minor irritant, but to 25-year-old Christopher Sands his hiccups are a living nightmare. He hasn’t stopped hiccupping for over two years. He can’t sleep, can’t work, and can’t eat properly. There isn’t a shock big enough to tackle these bad boys. 11.15 Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross George Clooney stars in new release Up In The Air, one of the favourites to win major awards. Jono marks up the other major contenders for Oscars and BAFTAs. 11.45 The Apprentice USA 12.30am The Apprentice USA 1.15 Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.50 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 2.50 Great British Railway Journeys 3.20 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 US PGA Golf 11.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 12.30pm PGA Tour Classic 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 4.00 Lanzarote Ironman 5.00 World Cup Of Pool 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Airsports World 7.00 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 7.30 Snow Ride 8.00 Showjumping 9.00 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 9.30 Airsports World 10.00 Poker 12.00am Showjumping 1.00 Golf - Profantastic Golf 2.00 Sailing: RC44 Cup
Sky Sports 3 9.00am Poker: Million $ Cash Game 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 4.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Golf – Profantastic Golf 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Golf – Profantastic Golf 11.00 World Cup Of Pool 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Lanzarote Ironman
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 UK Border Force 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons... Mischief And Mayhem 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Stargate: Ark Of Truth 11.00 Ross Kemp In The Middle East 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Most Annoying People 2009 8.00 Doctor Who 9.00 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Fast Food 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 12.50am Coming Of Age 1.20 Most Annoying People 2009 2.20 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Fast Food
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Diary Of Anne Frank 8.00 Sahara With Michael Palin 9.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 10.00 We Need Answers 10.30 Dear Diary 11.30 Dinner With Portillo 12.00am Mad Men 12.45 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 1.50 We Need Answers 2.20 Dear Diary
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Take Me Out 8.00 Holiday Homes From Hell 9.00 FILM: Analyze This (1999) 11.10 FILM: Kevin And Perry Go Large (2000) 12.50am Emmerdale 1.20 Teleshopping
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Mr Bean (x2). See highlights. 9.00 Taggart 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.10 Inspector Morse 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
1.20pm Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 FILM: Congo (1995) 12.05am Celebrity Big Brother Live
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Diets That Time Forgot 10.00 True Stories: Defamation 12.05am The Diets That Time Forgot
11.00am The Arsenal Stadium Mystery (1939) 12.45pm Freedom Radio (1941) 2.35 At Gunpoint (1955) 4.15 Reach For The Sky (1956) 6.55 Autumn In New York (2000) 9.00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.05 Thank You For Smoking (2005) 12.50am The Magician (1958)
030_LS457_TV_Wed
1/8/10
2:23 PM
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wednesday 13 The Persuasionists BBC2, 10pm Jarred Christmas leads a new group of comedy folk trying to break through with this brand new sitcom from the BBC stable. For the Beeb to put it straight through to terrestrial is testament that it has confidence in the funnies here, and the fact it’s all about marketing provides plenty of comedy fodder.
Numb3rs Five, 10pm The fab January phenomenon of new series continues with the return of the maths genius/FBI agent brotherhood – making maths interesting in the same way that blowing something up got us through Physics GCSE. The agents are called in to protect a high profile activist from a sniper during a political rally. Trajectory?
Veronica Mars E4, 4pm Way before she was an electric lady with daddy issues in Heroes, or simply the voice of Gossip Girl in... well, y’know, Kristen Bell was Veronica Mars, a teen sleuth with snappier lines than Nancy Drew, and getting paid for her nosiness too. Well worth the reassurance that, though it’s bad out there, it can all be solved within an hour.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 SMart 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Tronji 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Deadly 60 8.00 Planet Ajay 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Masters Snooker 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo takes a steamboat tour of Lake Windermere, visits Wordsworth’s home village of Grasmere and makes sausages with a local Herdwick sheep farmer. 7.00 Masters Snooker The last of the second round matches gets under way, featuring world number six Ryan Day and world number 12 Joe Perry. 8.00 Natural World Documentary. The emotional story of a young killer whale’s quest for companionship after he was separated from his family and found himself on the rugged, wild coast of Vancouver Island. Not a beach ball in sight. 9.00 Horizon: Why Do Viruses Kill? Series exploring topical scientific issues. Just a matter of months ago, a new disease threatened to kill millions. Yet dire warnings about new flu variant H1N1 have not materialised. Horizon follows the leading researchers who are attempting to unravel the many secrets of viruses to understand when and why they kill. 10.00 The Persuasionists See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Masters Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the evening’s match. A ball went in. 12.10am Masters Snooker – Extra 2.10 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.50 Celebrity Big Brother 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Rescue Remedies 12.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.25 FILM: Thunder Over Arizona (1956) 2.50 How Clean Is Your House? 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Halyey and Charlotte clash on a night out. Theresa is in trouble after stealing a laptop. Rae becomes cagey when Newt starts asking questions about her family life. Like anyone can understand his. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Good To Know 8.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. One of the Pretties pokes fun at a Butch. 9.00 FILM: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) Starring Dev Patel, Mia Drake, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor and Irfan Khan. Danny Boyle’s multi-Oscarwinning blockbuster about a Mumbai teenager who is tortured by police after being accused of cheating on a popular TV game show. As the interrogation continues, the 18-yearold reveals his life story, from being orphaned at an early age to his crush on a parentless girl, and how he came to appear on a television quiz. 11.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? India Special Celebrity special of Kaun Banega Crorepati, the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Presented by Shahrukh Khan, the quiz features a host of Bollywood actors, directors and screenwriters. 1.15am FILM: Rang De Basanti (2006) 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Hoobs
6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Milkshake Monkey 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Time Bomb Tunnel: Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Hound Of The Baskervilles (2000) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Martha and Hugo play happy families. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 The Da Vinci Shroud – Revealed Historical documentary series. For centuries, the Turin shroud was believed to be the cloth that was placed on the body of Christ, until carbon-dating exposed it as a medieval fake in 1988. However, scientists continue to explore how the image of a man was scorched onto the fabric. 9.00 NCIS New series of the drama following the US Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The murder of a petty officer uncovers an internal plot to sell highly classified military information. Meanwhile, new agency director Leon Vance reveals the real reason he disbanded Gibbs’s team. 10.00 Numb3rs See highlights. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. When a city health inspector is found dead in an elevator, investigations veer towards his family. Smelly family. 12.00am PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.35 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.55 Rough Guide To Short Breaks 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Football Asia 8.30 Live Cricket 4.30pm Hyundai A League 5.00 Revista De La Liga 6.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Cricket 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.25 LIVE Test Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Cowboy Trap Clive Holland and his team try to fix the bad jobs that builders have left behind in homes across the country. 8.00 Traffic Cops Documentary. The Traffic Cops in South Wales are involved in a series of late night car chases, crashes and fatal accidents. They should watch how they drive! Oh, they do. It’s the others you’ve got to watch out for. 8.30 Inspector George Gently Crime drama. During their investigation of the murder of a lonely old man in his dilapidated mansion, Gently and Bacchus stumble upon a world which is beyond their comprehension. Maths. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 FILM: Breaking And Entering (2006) Starring Jude Law, Juliette Binoche, Martin Freeman. Emotional drama. After following a burglar home, a successful landscape architect becomes romantically involved with the criminal’s refugee mother. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: Country Tracks 1.40 Antiques Roadshow 2.40 The Truth About Crime 3.40 Great British Railway Journeys 4.10 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Mark’s world collapses as his secret is exposed. Scarlett offers to help pay for Angelica’s christening. Cain boils with jealousy when he sees Charity flirting with Nikhil. Has anyone suggested to Cain that he might want to see someone about that temper of his? Anyone? Fair enough. 7.30 FA Cup Replay Live Steve Rider presents live coverage of the evening’s biggest FA Cup third-round replay. The match must be settled tonight, so be prepared for the possibility of extra time and penalties. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather Telling you about most of the bad stuff happening and maybe a bit of the good. And how cold it’ll be. 10.35 FILM: Inside Man (2006) Starring Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer, Willem Dafoe and Chiwetel Ejiofor. Heist thriller. A calculating gang carry out what their leader describes as the perfect bank robbery. While the crooks hold people hostage inside the bank, a tough policeman and the bank president’s fixer play a dangerous cat-and-mouse game with the clever ringleader. 12.55am October Road 1.40 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Showjumping 9.00 Snow Ride 9.30 Airsports World 10.00 Golf – Profantastic Golf 11.00 World Cup Of Pool 12.00pm Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 12.30 Sailing: RC44 Cup 1.00 Airsports World 1.30 Golf – Profantastic Golf 2.30 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 5.00 Tenpin Bowling 6.00 Inside The PGA Tour 6.30 Windsurfing 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 LIVE Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Trans World Sport 1.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 2.30 European Tour Weekly 3.00 Inside The PGA Tour 3.30 Tracking Eero 4.00 Tiree Wave Classic
Sky Sports 3 11.00am Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Showjumping 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Airsports World 3.00 World Cup Of Pool 4.00 Showjumping 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Motor Racing 8.00 Squash 9.00 Squash 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Tenpin Bowling 12.00am Motor Racing 1.00 Poker 3.00 Watersports World
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 UK Border Force 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons... Celebrity Friends 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Fat Families 9.00 Got To Dance 10.00 Wives 11.00 Fat Families 12.00am Songbook: Duran Duran
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Doctor Who 9.15 Snog Marry Avoid?: Top Ten Shockers 10.15 Sun, Sex And Holiday Madness 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am Coming Of Age 12.30 Snog Marry Avoid?: Top Ten Shockers 1.30 Sun, Sex And Holiday Madness 2.30 Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Diary Of Anne Frank 8.00 Joanna Lumley In The Land Of The Northern Lights 9.00 The Man Who Shot The 60s 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.30 We Need Answers 11.00 Orson Welles Over Europe 12.00am Mad Men 12.45 The Man Who Shot The 60s 1.45 We Need Answers
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 All Star Mr & Mrs 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Kids Special 7.30 American Idol 9.30 FILM: Ocean’s Eleven (2001) 11.50 FILM: Forget Paris (1995) 1.55am Emmerdale 2.20 Teleshopping 3.20 The Office: An American Workplace (x2)
12.00pm The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Wire In The Blood 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.00 Inspector Morse
1.20pm Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars. See highlights 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Rude Tube 11.00 Rude Tube 2010 12.10am Celebrity Big Brother Live
4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Diets That Time Forgot 10.00 The Unsinkable Titanic 11.40 Lady Randy: Churchill’s Mother 12.45am The Diets That Time Forgot
11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm Avatar Special 1.05 Highly Dangerous (1950) 2.50 Sailor Of The King (1953) 4.35 The Comancheros (1961) 6.40 Freedom Writers (2007) 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) 11.15 Four Brothers (2005) 1.20am All The Pretty Horses (2000)
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thursday 14 Material Girl BBC1, 8pm From Cinderella to The Devil Wears Prada, the clothes have so often madeth the drama. Or at least been Best Supporting. A drama about an aspiring fashion designer was never going to be far away. It’s Paris Fashion Week and our gal Ali has a bust up with her boss and is promptly offered a new job. Fate? Oh, darlings!
QI BBC2, 10pm The quiz in which points are given for things being ‘quite interesting’ continues, with Stephen Fry firmly at the helm. Guiding guests Sandi Toksvig, Ronni Ancona, Jack Dee and resident Fool Alan Davies through questions pertaining to the letter ‘G’, you can be sure of plenty of gags, giggling and galavanting.
Glee E4, 10pm & 11pm The musical dark comedy continues with Will on a mission to recruit more of the student body to join the Glee Club, as without them the group won’t be big enough to compete in the regional competition. Can you see a story arc approaching? Relive the awful moments of high school without having to be there. Lovely.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Horrible Histories 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Tronji 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Deadly 60 8.00 Planet Ajay 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 Nature’s Calendar 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open Gardens 1.30 Masters Snooker 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Documentary. Michael Portillo meets the wild clansmen of Carlisle, the Border Reivers, witnesses a wedding in Gretna Green and visits a secret World War I munitions factory. We now pronounce you husband and strife. 7.00 Masters Snooker Hazel Irvine, Steve Davis and John Parrott introduce live coverage from the second quarter-final. Hypnotising. 8.00 Jimmy’s Global Harvest Jimmy Doherty investigates new techniques and technologies that may help to meet the increased demand for food across the planet. In Western Australia, Jimmy finds out whether farmers can overcome the global problem of soil salinity. 9.00 Simon Schama On Obama’s America A year on from Barack Obama’s inauguration, Simon Schama asks what has happened to the American Dream – the promise of prosperity for all. 10.00 QI See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight The programme includes a special feature Greens on Trial, asking whether the Green movement is harming its own cause. 11.20 Masters Snooker Highlights from the Masters. 12.10am Masters Snooker – Extra 2.10 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Back To You 12.35 FILM: The Sons Of Katie Elder (1965) 2.50 How Clean Is Your House? 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Milkshake Monkey 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Zoo Days: Babirusa Pigs 3.00 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Circle Of Friends (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Hugo tries to convince Martha he is doing the right thing. Xavier juggles two girls. You need big hands to be able to do that. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Chester Zoo, narrated by Jane Horrocks. 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country New series of the property and lifestyle show with Charlie Luxton. Lisa and Michael attempt to convert a 400-year-old barn into an eco-friendly family home. The project begins well, but progress is slow thanks to problems with planning permission. 9.00 FILM: Attack Force (2006) Starring Steven Seagal, Lisa Lovbrand, David Kennedy. Action thriller in which the leader of a strike team loses his men in a cold-blooded attack. The man sets out to confront the killers, only to become locked in battle with a psychotic drug dealer. Along the way, he uncovers a plot involving a covert arm of the military. 10.55 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Divine Designs (x2) 4.50 Rough Guide To Journeys 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
8.00am LIVE Test Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Trans World Sport 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE Rugby Union 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 12.00am LIVE PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 Time Of Our Lives 5.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.30 Barclays Premier League World
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders It’s the day of Archie’s will reading, and the question on everyone’s lips is who will get the Vic? Pick me! 8.00 Material Girl See highlights. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama series about a team of forensic pathologists. Harry and Nikki try to remain professional when they find themselves on opposite sides of a high profile case, but it’s not easy as they’re both brilliant at what they do, and they soon show that every piece of evidence can be interpreted at least two ways. See Telly Talk for more. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time comes from Finchley, North London, in front of an invited audience. How does one get invited to Q Time? Do you start off with the Dimblebys round for a cheese course and work your way up? 11.35 This Week A political review of the week from Andrew Neil with Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.50 Great British Railway Journeys 2.20 Horizon: The Secret Life Of The Dog 3.20 The Rat Pack 3.50 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy pleads with Nicola to cut back on her spending on their daughter’s christening. 7.30 Can You Save A Grand In A Day? Tonight Martin Lewis is challenged to do an extreme money makeover on a family and see how much he can save them in one day. You don’t have to normally spend a grand in a day to partake, though. 8.00 Emmerdale Mark’s family are disgusted by his lies. 8.30 Coronation Street Resentment against Sally eventually becomes critical. Well, she does go on. 9.00 The Bill When 16-year-old Janine Clark claims she was raped by her boyfriend Mark Watts and three of his friends, the team must try to work out who is telling the truth. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: Tobin – Portrait Of A Serial Killer As Peter Tobin faces sentencing for the murder of Dinah McNicol, Mark Austin speaks to criminologists, psychologists and those who have come face-to-face with the man to deduce whether Tobin is Britain’s worst serial killer. 11.35 The Krypton Factor 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2)12.55 1.50 Loose Women 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks At the skate park, Gaz and Lauren hatch a plot to take revenge on Rae and Newt. Skate park, eh? When you’re a Jet... 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Good To Know 8.00 My Big Fat Diet Show Anna Richardson shows viewers how to drop a dress size in two weeks. The challenge is over for Anna’s dieting divas, but have they been able to drop a dress size? 9.00 Kevin McCloud: Slumming It Kevin McCloud experiences first hand life in one of the most denselypopulated places on Earth – the Indian slum of Dharavi. Home to a million people, the square mile region is one of the biggest slums in Asia. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.10 The World’s Strongest Child And Me Presenter Mark Dolan comes face to face with some of the world’s most incredible humans. Mark travels the world meeting super-strong children, from young weightlifters in America to a family of circus performing girls in Ukraine. 12.10am 4 Music: 360 Sessions 12.45 4 Music: 4Play: Hadouken! 1.00 Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.00 St Elsewhere 4.50 Countdown 5.35 The Hoobs
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 10.00 Inside The PGA Tour 10.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 2.00 Inside The PGA Tour 2.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 Race World 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Rolex FEI World Cup Jumping 11.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.25 LIVE Test Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 9.30 Tracking Eero 10.00 Motor Racing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Squash 1.00 Squash 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Tracking Eero 3.00 European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Rolex FEI World Cup Jumping 7.00 Race World 8.00 European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Netball: Super League 3.00 Close
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6.00pm The Simpsons... Access All Areas 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 The Simpsons... Celebrity Friends 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 The Simpsons... Mischief And Mayhem 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 10.00 Bones 11.00 Ross Kemp In The Middle East 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Most Annoying People 2009 8.00 Most Annoying People 2009 9.00 Stag Weekends: The Dirty Secrets 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle Undercover 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Stag Weekends: The Dirty Secrets 12.45am Material Girl 1.45 The Real Hustle Undercover
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 Time 9.00 The Secret Life Of Chaos 10.00 Cage Fighting Women: Storyville 11.00 The Man Who Shot The 60s 12.00am Mad Men 12.45 The Secret Life Of Chaos 1.50 Time 2.50 Cage Fighting Women: Storyville 3.50 The Secret Life Of Chaos 5.30 Close
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 Take Me Out 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 8.00 American Idol 10.00 FILM: Ocean’s Twelve (2004) 12.30am Coronation Street 1.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 1.55 Emmerdale (x2) 2.45 The Office: An American Workplace
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Numb3rs 11.05 FILM: Don’t Look Now (1973) 1.15am Inspector Morse 3.00 Teleshopping
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Glee (x2). See highlights. 12.00am Celebrity Big Brother Live
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Diets That Time Forgot 10.00 Half Ton Dad 11.10 Half Ton Man 12.15am The Diets That Time Forgot
11.00am Northfork (2003) 1.05pm Lost (1955) 2.50 Carrington VC (1954) 4.55 Hombre (1967) 7.15 In And Out (1997) 8.50 Danny Boyle Special 9.00 Shallow Grave (1994) 10.50 Alien Resurrection (1997) 12.55am Chain Reaction (1996) 2.55 Nowhere Boy Special
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friday 15 White Boy, Black Nanny Channel 4, 7.30pm Part of a showcase of bold films from up-and-coming filmmakers. South African-born director Mark Rossiter attempts to track down the black nanny who raised him for ten years during apartheid, with just a first name and a photo. This delivers a snapshot on the aftermath of apartheid, as well as a personal tale.
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm The inimitable Mr Ross is back with another series, cheeky as ever and tripping that tightrope between being probing and rude in his questioning. You can bet there’ll be stars a-plenty, and as it’s the first of the series they’re usually old friends too. Like hard man actor Ray Winstone.
Being Human BBC3, 9pm It’s series two – did we tell you it started last weekend? We’ve been waiting for ages for this, and it doesn’t disappoint. Werewolf George is still haunted by the death of vampire Herrick and showing it by being a prat to his ex, Nina, who has troubles of her own. And ghost Annie gets a job. Of course.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 ROY 4.35 Prank Patrol 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Tronji 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Deadly 60 8.00 Planet Ajay 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 Nature’s Calendar 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open Gardens 1.30 Masters Snooker 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Documentary. Michael Portillo makes apple juice in the Clyde valley orchards. 7.00 Masters Snooker The fourth quarter-final gets under way. 8.00 Mastermind The specialist subjects are the history of the Eurovision Song Contest, Caesar’s Gallic Wars, the life and works of Ayn Rand and Florence during the Renaissance 1400-1550. 8.30 An Island Parish Series charting a year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly. 9.00 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World In the first of a new four part series, Dan Snow charts the defining role the Royal Navy played in Britain’s struggle for modernity – a grand tale of the twists and turns which thrust the people of these isles into an indelible relationship with the sea and ships. Coo. Where’s me rum? 10.00 Have I Got News For You Comedy quiz show that grills celebrity contestants on news stories. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 ... Sings The Beatles Recorded for the 40th anniversary of Abbey Road, the Beatles’ final album, a journey through the classic and curious covers in the BBC archives. 12.05am Masters Snooker 12.55 Masters Snooker – Extra 2.55 News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.55 Celebrity Big Brother 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Rescue Remedies 12.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.20 FILM: Fort Massacre (1958) 2.50 How Clean Is Your House? 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy decides to set up her own vintage clothes shop and hires India to be her assistant. Spending time with Holly, Loretta thinks she would be a better mum than Cindy. Gaz and Lauren hold their lawn mowing race. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 White Boy, Black Nanny See highlights. 8.00 Kevin McCloud: Slumming It Kevin McCloud continues with his experience of the Indian slum of Dharavi. Kevin explores the area’s recycling industry, which sees 80 per cent of plastic waste reused, and meets some of the locals who have made it big. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Live coverage from the Big Brother house, as Davina McCall reveals which celebrity has been evicted. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. 10.35 Celebrity Big Brother: Live The latest celebrity evictee chats to Davina McCall about their time inside the Big Brother house. 11.05 David Blaine: Drowned Alive David Blaine does a thing. 12.05am FILM: Judge Dredd (1994) 1.45 Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.00 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 4.50 Freesports On 4 5.20 Countdown
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Milkshake Monkey 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: I Do But I Don’t (2004) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ian makes Miles an offer. Xaviers opens up about why he dislikes John. Smelly? 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Massive Speed Documentary series in which Chris Barrie examines the evolution of machines designed for speed. Chris explores some of his favourite fast trains, starting with the elegant steam engine City of Truro, which is credited with being the first train to break the 100mph barrier. 8.00 Knight Rider Updated version of the classic ‘80s adventure series. The team tries to stop a criminal couple who are threatening to reveal Knight Industries’ secrets. 9.00 FILM: The Art Of War II: Betrayal (2008) Starring Wesley Snipes, Athena Karkanis, Lochlyn Munro. Action thriller in which a highly trained special agent sets out to avenge the death of his mentor. Bad mentor-killers! 11.05 Paul Merton In Europe Travel series with Paul Merton. Beginning in Germany, Paul meets the leader of a political movement known as the Apple Front, before enjoying a ‘chess boxing’ match in a Berlin sports hall. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.00 Divine Designs (x2) 4.50 Rough Guide To Bang For Your Buck 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 LIVE Test Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am LIVE PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 4.00 Football League Weekend 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 World Sport
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz with regular captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 8.00 EastEnders Max and Bradley decide to go into business together and Ian and Jane are blackmailed. It’s all about keeping fa-amilies together. 8.30 QI Comedy quiz show where the guests get more points for being interesting. Charming host Stephen Fry is joined by Jo Brand, Rob Brydon, Sean Lock and Alan Davies. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama series. The revelation that Flannery’s first wife also died of a stair fall sends Harry to Prague to seek evidence to prove the man’s guilt. See Telly Talk for more. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross See highlights. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.45 FILM: The Tuxedo (2002) Starring Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs. High-kicking action comedy. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Lark Rise To Candleford 2.25 Great British Railway Journeys 2.55 Who Do You Think You Are? 3.55 An Island Parish 4.25 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Gossip spreads concerning Mark’s disappearance. 7.30 Coronation Street Tyrone makes a life-changing decision – but will Kevin be happy with it? Unlikely. 8.00 Dancing On Ice Friday Tune in for a brand new preview show accompanying Dancing on Ice. 8.30 Coronation Street While Sally recovers, Molly has news for Kevin. A delighted Dev sees the cracks in Sunita and Matt’s engagement. Watch him hammily rub his hands together with glee. You know it. 9.00 Popstar To Operastar Alan Titchmarsh and Myleene Klass present a new series in which eight chart-topping singers attempt to perform well-known opera songs accompanied by a full live orchestra. Over the next six weeks, the viewing public gets to decide who stays in the competition. Squeeze those high notes out! 10.30 ITV News At Ten; Weather 11.05 FILM: Be Cool (2005) Starring John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn. Sequel to Get Shorty. Chili Palmer has tired of movie production, so when a music producer friend is gunned down, he offers to help the widow run his friend’s business. 1.05am Ladette To Lady 2.05 FILM: Fahrenheit 451 (1966) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 Windsurfing 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 World Sport 6.30 Test Cricket 7.30 LIVE Test Cricket 9.30 LIVE Cricket 11.25 LIVE Test Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Rolex FEI World Cup Jumping 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Race World 1.00 Rolex FEI World Cup Jumping 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 Race World 6.00 European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 European Rugby 3.30 World Sport 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 NFL – Total Access
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1.30pm Models Of The Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.00 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance 9.00 Ross Kemp In The Middle East 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Football’s Next Star 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Almost Famous III 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Coming Of Age 12.45 Being Human 1.45 Almost Famous III 2.45 Coming Of Age 3.15 Stag Weekends: The Dirty Secrets 4.15 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Fast Food
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Carmen: The Dream And The Destiny 9.00 Legends 10.00 Neil Sedaka: All You Need Is The Music 10.45 Jazz 625 (x2) 12.00am Mad Men 12.45 Jazz 625 1.15 Arena: Cool 2.15 Jazz 625 2.50 The Jazz Baroness: Storyville 4.15 Legends 5.30 Close
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 Creature Comforts 5.45 Dancing On Ice 7.30 Dancing On Ice - The Skate Off 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 11.05 FILM: The Grudge (2004) 1.00am Coronation Street (x2) 1.55 Emmerdale
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 Doc Martin 10.00 Kingdom 11.10 FILM: Murder By Numbers (2001) 1.25am Inspector Morse 3.10 On The Buses
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.05 Wife Swap USA 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.10am Celebrity Big Brother Live
5.30pm Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Diets That Time Forgot 10.00 The Diets That Time Forgot 11.10 Chopped Off: The Man Who Lost His Penis 12.15am Lee Mack Live 1.15 The Diets That Time Forgot
11.00am Freedom Radio (1941) 12.50pm Moulin Rouge (1952) 3.10 Jane Eyre (1944) 5.00 The Tall Men (1955) 7.20 Hot Shots! (1991) 9.00 She’s The Man (2006) 11.00 Trainspotting (1996) 12.50am Danny Boyle Special 1.00 To Die For (1995) 3.05 Avatar Special
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saturday 16 So You Think You Can Dance BBC1, 6.30pm Involving a bit more than the patented dad-wiggle wheeled out at every birthday and wedding, this is for those dedicated members of the public who can truly shake their thang. Cat Deeley returns from Stateside to present, and judges Arlene Phillips and ‘Nasty’ Nigel Lythgoe weed through to find their second evictee.
Heroes BBC2, 10.30pm After passing over the whole disturbing subliminal message about there being something dangerous about travelling Carnival folk, Peter must face the consequences of his actions. Oh, and Claire’s gotta cope with others knowing about her ability, and there’s something amiss at the fair. Hmm.
Film: The Incredibles BBC3, 11.10pm Unusual scheduling for such a fun animated family film; this is the story of what happens when a litigation society forces superheroes into retirement. Mr Incredible finds a nine to fiver hard to say the least. Then, when a super villain appears, the whole family gets in on the ‘saving the world’ act. Very witty.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Masters Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.30 Total Wipeout
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.10 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.30 Jump Nation 9.30 Prank Patrol 10.00 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.30 Keep Your Enemies Close 11.00 The Slammer 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm Greek 12.45 The Season 1.15 The 5:19 Show 1.35 The Cut 2.00 Animal Park 2.45 FILM: Alvarez Kelly (1966) 4.30 Masters Snooker 6.00 A History Of Christianity In the first of a six-part series sweeping across four continents, Professor Diarmaid MacCulloch goes in search of Christianity’s forgotten origins. He overturns the familiar story that it all began when the apostle Paul took Christianity from Jerusalem to Rome. 7.00 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World In the first of a four-part series, historian Dan Snow charts the defining role the Royal Navy played in Britain’s struggle for modernity. 8.00 The Legacy Of Lawrence Of Arabia Rory Stewart examines the writings of Lawrence of Arabia, and learns that the warrior hero himself later questioned the very nature of his intervention in the Middle East. Wonder what he would’ve thought of the film. 9.00 Masters Snooker Live semifinal action continues at the Masters, with the first to six frames booking their place in Sunday’s final. 10.30 Heroes See highlights. 11.15 QI XL Comedy quiz show where the guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gladly gravitates towards Germany in this extended show, including 15 minutes of previously unseen Quite Interestingness. 12.00am The Persuasionists 12.30 Masters Snooker 1.20 FILM: The Entertainer (1960)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 FILM: Getting There (2002) 11.05 Popstar To Operastar 12.35pm ITV News & Weather 12.45 FILM: Like Mike (2002) 2.35 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 4.25 Creature Comforts 4.40 Meridian News And Weather 4.55 ITV News & Weather 5.10 FILM: Nanny McPhee (2005)
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freesports On 4 7.30 World Sport 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.35 Friends 10.10 Impulse Into Glamour Presents: A Diary Of The Saturdays T4 Special 10.45 Pink: Funhouse Live 11.55 Celebrity Big Brother 12.55pm Celebrity Big Brother 1.25 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.00 Hana’s Helpline 8.15 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest 12.00pm FILM: My Dog Skip (2000) 1.45 FILM: A Stranger To Love (1996) 3.35 FILM: The Adventures Of Quentin Durward (1955) 5.40 Five News 5.45 FILM: Brannigan (1975)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Special 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.45 LIVE European Rugby 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.05 Channel 4 News 6.35 FILM: The Parent Trap (1998) Starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Lindsay Lohan and Elaine Hendrix. Family comedy about identical twin sisters who are separated at birth when their parents divorce, one going off with mum, one with dad. Years later the girls meet at a summer camp and, despite strikingly different personalities, agree to a scheme to reunite their parents. When camp ends, they change places and go to work. Their first goal is to scare off a gold-digger pursuing their father. Remake of the 1961 favourite. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.00 FILM: Om Shanti Om (2007) Starring Sharukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Shreyas Talpade, Arjun Rampal and Kiron Kher. Timetravelling action comedy. In the 1970s, an actor is murdered but instantly reincarnated into present day Bollywood. He tries to solve the mystery of his death and searches for the woman he loved in his previous life. One for movie buffs, the film features appearances and mentions of over thirty classic Bollywood stars. 1.10am Big Brother’s Big Mouth 2.05 Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.55 Scrapheap Challenge 4.50 Countdown 5.35 The Hoobs
7.50 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. During the filming of a reality TV show at a marine base, a supermodel is murdered. Straying off the brief here a bit, writers! 8.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation US drama series about a team of forensic investigators. Skateboarders find a man’s body lying on the concrete – but how did it get there? Did he fall from a building, commit suicide, or something more sinister? (Insert sinister music). 9.40 CSI: NY New York-based spin-off of the crime drama series. The team hunts for a cyber killer who appears to be targeting healthcare workers. When the suspect invokes Mac’s father, the case becomes personal. As it would. 10.40 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York which investigates sexually oriented crimes. Two children claim they were molested by a billionaire. This story was in no way based on actual events or persons. 11.40 Women Who Kill Series documenting female killers. 12.10am SuperCasino 4.05 Motorsport Mundial (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.30 So You Think You Can Dance See highlights. 7.30 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time in a bid to win a big money jackpot. Oh, and there are some numbers called. Are they important? 8.20 So You Think You Can Dance Results It is crunch time for our twelve dancers as the results of the viewers’ vote are announced. The two couples who receive the fewest votes will dance solo to stay in the competition. Cha! Cha! Cha! 8.50 Casualty An unconscious Jessica relives the moments which made her the person she is today, but will they be enough to bring her back to Adam? It’s A Wonderful Life in scrubs? 9.40 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents Premier League highlights. 11.50 The Football League Show Sporting highlights show, showcasing the day’s drama and goals from every division in the Football League. 1.05am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.05 Weatherview 2.10 BBC News
7.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp Harry Hill presents more of the best bits from previous series. 7.30 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness presents some more matchmaking mayhem. Which of our remaining 30 sexy single girls will get taken out on a date? Plus we check out what happened to last week’s love matches. 8.30 All Star Mr & Mrs Fern and Pip subject three more celebrity couples to some cheeky relationship scrutiny. Ready for matrimonial scraps are Gary Lineker and his wife, model Danielle, newsreader Michael Buerk and his wife Christine, and presenter Kirsty Gallacher with her rugby player fiance Paul Sampson. 9.30 FILM: Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) Starring Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Gemma Jones. Romantic comedy telling the story of a year in the life of a neurotic thirtysomething. But you knew that already. 11.20 ITV News; Weather 11.35 FILM: Blue Crush (2002) Starring Kate Bosworth, Michelle Rodriguez, Matthew Davis. Romantic drama in which a top female surfer training for a high-profile competition finds her preparation jeopardised when she falls for a hunky American. 1.35am FILM: The Paper (1994) 3.30 Six Degrees 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 Cricket 5.30 PGA Tour Golf 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football (x2) 11.00 Max Power 12.00am LIVE PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Spanish Football 5.00 World Sport 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 NFL – America’s Game 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE European Rugby (x2) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics 6.00 Kiteboarding 6.30 Test Cricket (x2) 9.30 LIVE: NFL: Divisional Playoffs 1.00am NFL: Divisional Playoffs 4.30 Kiteboarding 5.00 Max Power
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12.00pm Football’s Next Star 1.00 Got To Dance 2.00 Fat Families 3.00 UK Border Force 4.00 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 5.00 Got To Dance 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 11.20 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 12.20am Road Wars
7.00pm Most Annoying People 2009 7.20 Top Gear 8.20 The Real Hustle Undercover 8.50 FILM: Ice Princess (2005) 10.25 Family Guy (x2) 11.10 FILM: The Incredibles (2004). See highlights. 1.00am Being Human 2.00 Stag Weekends: The Dirty Secrets 3.00 The Real Hustle Undercover
7.00pm The Scarlet Pimpernel 8.30 The Secret Life Of Chaos 9.30 Clement Freud: In His Own Words 10.30 Nurse Jackie 11.00 The Armstrong And Miller Show 11.30 The Thick Of It 12.00am BBC Proms 2009: Beethoven’s 9th Symphony 2.00 Clement Freud: In His Own Words 3.00 The Secret Life Of Chaos
1.35pm ITV At The Movies 2.05 Holiday Airport: Palma 3.10 Creature Comforts 3.25 American Idol: Boston Auditions 5.20 American Idol: Atlanta Auditions 6.40 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 9.00 FILM: Analyze That (2002) 11.10 FILM: The World Is Not Enough (1999) 1.40am Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp
10.25am Hornblower 12.35pm The Darling Buds Of May 1.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.45 Pie In The Sky 3.50 A Touch Of Frost 5.50 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Rebus 10.35 Trial And Retribution 12.50am Kavanagh QC 2.05 On The Buses 2.35 On The Buses 3.00 Teleshopping
12.35pm Wife Swap USA 1.35 Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Mr & Mrs Smith (2005) 11.15 Derren Brown: The Events 12.25am Celebrity Big Brother Live
12.35pm Trains With Pete Waterman 1.45 FILM: The Last Wagon (1956) 3.45 Grand Designs (x5) 9.00 FILM: Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 11.40 Time Team 12.40am FILM: Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 3.20 Trains With Pete Waterman
11.00am The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 12.50pm Avatar Special 1.00 Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 3.00 The Comancheros (1961) 5.05 On Golden Pond (1981) 7.15 Nowhere Boy Special 7.20 Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) 9.00 A Life Less Ordinary (1997) 11.05 The Cell (2000) 1.10am Waking Life (2001)
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sunday 17 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.45pm The girls kicked off the new series last week, which makes it the boys’ turn tonight. Hollyoaks’ Kieron Richardson tries not to slice any digits on the ice, as does Boyzone’s Mikey Graham and The Bill’s Gary Lucy. Pretty men looking graceless – who’s up for it? Or maybe you did better navigating on the ice last week?
Film: Children Of Men ITV1, 10.15pm We’re getting familiar with a post-apocalyptic world. Lately in cinemas it’s been vampires and zombies that have brought this about. In Clive Owen’s nasty future it’s the human race’s infertility. And a totalitarian state. So when a pregnant refugee appears, all the stops are pulled to keep her safe.
Being Human BBC3, 9pm The supernatural flatmates drama continues, and Annie seems to reckon that Saul is the man of her dreams. Considering the last man of her dreams killed her, we may be excused for thinking she hasn’t got particularly good taste. And Saul has some mega secrets about him. Meanwhile, Mitchell is visited by an old friend.
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6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.05 Murder, She Wrote 2.55 EastEnders 4.50 Lifeline 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Basil Brush Show 8.05 Jinx 8.25 Leon 8.30 Dani’s House 9.00 Tracy Beaker Returns 9.30 ROY 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm FILM: The Way To The Stars (1945) 2.00 Masters Snooker 4.45 Ski Sunday 5.15 The Three Musketeers
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.35 ITV News & Weather 11.40 FILM: Gambit (1966) 1.45pm FILM: Columbo: An Exercise In Fatality 3.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.45 Meridian News And Weather
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 7.55 Adventure Racing World Championships 8.55 The Hills 9.25 Friends 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.35pm Celebrity Big Brother 1.40 Big Brother’s Little Brother 2.45 90210 3.40 The Simpsons 4.20 The Simpsons 4.50 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Glee
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Hannah Montana 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Zoo Days 11.25 Giant Snake Invasion With Nigel Marven 12.25pm Ice Road Truckers 1.25 FILM: See Spot Run (2001) 3.15 FILM: Popeye (1980) 5.00 FILM: Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988) 6.40 Five News 6.45 FILM: McQ (1974) Starring John Wayne, Eddie Albert, Diana Muldaur, Colleen Dewhurst, Clu Gulager and David Huddleston. Thriller in which a big-city cop sets out to avenge the death of his partner, thought to have been shot by a drug dealer. However, the villain has friends in high places and succeeds in getting the cop thrown off the case. Incensed by his superiors’ actions, the detective resigns from the force and enlists the help of a private eye friend to continue the investigation. 9.00 FILM: US Marshals (1998) Starring Wesley Snipes, Tommy Lee Jones, Robert Downey Jr, Irene Jacob. Sequel to The Fugitive in which a man framed for murder escapes from a downed plane and soon finds himself being pursued across America. US Marshal Sam Gerard is told that catching the escaped man is a top priority assignment, but as events unfold, he begins to wonder just how this convict became such an important man in the eyes of the government. Those bally powers that be! 11.35 America’s Toughest Prisons 12.35am Crime Scene Academy 1.05 SuperCasino 4.05 Motorsport Mundial (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 3.00am Ford Football Special 4.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.30 European Rugby Special 5.30 Kiteboarding
6.00 Countryfile 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the experts return to the Brooklands Motor Racing and Aviation Museum near Weybridge for another busy day of valuations. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. When a Lark Rise tree starts to ‘bleed’, the hamlet becomes rife with talk of witchcraft. Thomas is horrified – this could ruin the visit of the Bishop who is coming to consecrate the church font. The witch tree seems to cast a spell over the whole community – everyone is behaving strangely. OoooOOOooh! 9.00 Wallander Detective drama. An elderly bird-watcher falls to his death in a meticulously-planned and brutal murder. In an apparently unconnected case, a local man disappears and Wallander gets too close to one of the suspects. ‘Unrelated’ our foot! 10.30 BBC News 10.45 South East Today 10.55 Match Of The Day 2 11.45 FILM: Amistad (1997) Starring Morgan Freeman, Anthony Hopkins, Matthew McConaughey, Djimon Honsou, Nigel Hawthorne. Epic historical drama which documents a legal battle over a shipload of slaves who overpowered their captors at sea and landed on the shores of America. 2.10am Weatherview 2.15 Sign Zone: Holby City 3.15 The Choir: Unsung Town 4.15 BBC News
6.55 Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson makes a film about the BMW X6 and ends up conducting one of the most expensive road tests in Top Gear history. James May drives the new Vauxhall Insignia VXR, accompanied by Margaret Calvert, the designer of Britain’s road signs; and Richard Hammond tests the £340,000 Lexus supercar on the Top Gear track. The boys then try out the latest in electric personal transport in the studio, and the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car is blues musician Seasick Steve. 8.00 Masters Snooker It’s the final and you can bet your bottom dollar the tension is palpable. There’s no room for colour-blindness here with lots of money hanging in the balance and one Dukes Of Hazard soundtrack away from a bar brawl. Sorry, that’s pool in ‘70s films, not snooker – but it’s tense! Watch it all the way through and your backwards mental arithmatic will be exemplary. 11.00 FILM: Massacre In Rome (1973) Starring Richard Burton, Marcello Mastroianni, Leo McKern, John Steiner, Della Boccardo and Renzo Montagnani. Set during World War II, this film charts the story of a good-natured Vatican priest who opposes an ideologically charged SS general hell-bent on killing more than 300 Roman hostages. Based on the book Death in Rome by Robert Katz. 12.40am BBC News
6.00 ITV News & Weather 6.15 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp Harry Hill presents more of the best bits from previous series. Classic clips to make the cut include the Amish version of TV Burp, Ray Mears going walkabout... in his car, and Strictly Come Dancing sparking a new craze of playing a lady’s leg like a guitar. Name that dancer! 6.45 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.30 Wild At Heart Drama series. Danny has a crisis about his age when he hurts his back while helping to build a new school in the township. He feels even worse after the arrival of Lewis, a hotshot young vet recently hired by Rowan. Alice is impressed by Lewis’s professionalism, but are his ideas all they are cracked up to be? 9.30 Dancing On Ice – The SkateOff Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby present the results of the viewers’ vote. The two couples with the fewest votes must dance again before being told who will be ousted. Plus The Saturdays perform their new single ‘Ego’. Obviously that’ll help those for the chop ease their tension. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 FILM: Children Of Men (2006) See highlights. 12.10am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 1.55 Dating The Enemy 2.20 The Winter Freeze: Tonight 2.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.35 Glee Musical comedy following an optimistic teacher as he attempts to inspire an oddball group of students to realise their star potential in the school choir. Will needs to recruit more people for New Directions in order to appear at the regional competition. The Glee Club then faces its first performance in front the whole school. 7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 9.00 Slumdog Secret Millionaire Special episode of the hit series as British Indian entrepreneur Seema Sharma goes undercover in Mumbai, where over half of the 13 million residents live in poverty. Hoping to find worthy causes and individuals to donate her money to, Seema volunteers with a number of organisations in Dharavi, one of the largest slums in India. 10.45 FILM: Dhoom 2 (2006) Starring Aishwarya Rai, Hrithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachchan, Uday Chopra, Bipasha Basu and Rimi Sen. Action thriller in which a policeman enlists the help of a motor mechanic to catch two elusive robbers. Highly underrated sleuths are mechanics. 1.45am Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.55 Dispatches: My Family And Alzheimers 4.50 Countdown 5.35 The Treacle People 5.45 The Hoobs
Sky Sports 2 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Test Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 LIVE NFL (x2) 12.30am Spanish Football 2.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 Watersports World 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE Afterburn 9.00 WWE Vintage Collection 10.00 NFL: Divisional Playoffs 12.00pm Kiteboarding 12.30 LIVE European Rugby (x2) 5.30 This Week In WWE 6.00 WWE Experience 7.00 Test Cricket (x2) 10.00 This Week In WWE 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am European Rugby Special 1.30 Kiteboarding 2.00 Close
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4.00pm UK Border Force 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance 7.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 Ross Kemp In The Middle East 10.00 Ross Kemp In The Middle East 11.00 Golden Globes Red Carpet Live 1.00am Got To Dance 1.50 Football’s Next Star
7.00pm Most Annoying People 2009 7.10 FILM: Meet The Fockers (2004) 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 Being Human 12.30am Harper’s Island 1.10 Coming Of Age 1.40 Almost Famous 2.40 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Fast Food 3.40 Coming Of Age
7.00pm Dear Diary 8.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 9.00 Aristotle’s Lagoon 10.00 My Family And Other Animals 11.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Imelda Staunton 12.30am Aristotle’s Lagoon 1.30 Dear Diary 2.30 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 3.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Imelda Staunton 5.30 Close
1.15pm Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 1.45 FILM: A Cinderella Story (2004) 3.45 Take Me Out 4.50 Dancing On Ice - The Skate Off 5.20 Dancing On Ice Friday 5.50 FILM: Small Soldiers (1997) 8.00 FILM: The World Is Not Enough (1999) 10.30 FILM: Troy (2004) 1.40am Dancing On Ice 3.05 Dancing On Ice The Skate-Off
1.00pm Inspector Morse 3.15 FILM: Carry On Screaming (1966) 5.15 Mr Bean (x2) 6.25 Rising Damp 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 Super Sleuths: Inspector Wexford 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker 12.10am FILM: Crazy People (1990) 1.50 On The Buses (x2) 2.40 Surgical Spirit (x2) 3.30 Film File
12.55pm Reaper 1.50 Celebrity Big Brother 2.55 Big Brother’s Little Brother 3.55 Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Greatest Comedy Catchphrases 12.10am Celebrity Big Brother Live
1.55pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 TV Book Club 8.00 Decoded: Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol 9.00 Jamie’s Great Escape (x2) 10.00 Miracle Of The Hudson Plane Crash 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.45 Curb Your Enthusiasm
11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm Akeelah And The Bee (2006) 3.10 Death Drums Along The River (1963) 4.50 My Darling Clementine (1946) 6.45 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 8.50 Danny Boyle Special 9.00 The Beach (2000) 11.15 Thank You For Smoking (2005) 1.00am Dr T And The Women (2000)
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monday 18 Celebrity Quitters Five, 7.30pm A mix of celebs go through the bickering and emotional rollercoaster of trying to stop puffing on the evil weed. It’s the perfect time for resolutions, but that does’t make giving up nicotine any easier. Celebs sweating it out include Linda Robson, Paul Danan, Derek Acorah and Chloe Madeley.
Law & Order: UK ITV1, 9pm The US drama series hits the British shores again, combining policework with the court battle to convict. We haven’t got quite the same system here as our American chums but we’re sure this’ll explain it all. Tonight the boys in blue investigate a highly sensitive child abduction case, which twists and turns nastily.
How I Met Your Mother E4, 7.30pm Halloween is a massive holiday over in the good ‘ol US of A, which means that Halloween episodes of popular sitcoms pull out a few more stops than are usually exposed. As shown here. Ted and Barney go along to the same party they go to every year, hoping to meet Ted’s great lost love – the Slutty Pumpkin.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Kaddy Lee-Preston looks at the History of the World through objects in Kent and Sussex museums. 8.00 EastEnders Vengeful Janine wreaks havoc on Ian and Jane for refusing to meet her blackmail demands. Peggy feels sidelined in the Vic, while Jean is concerned when Stacey decides to visit Becca in hospital. 8.30 Panorama Another report from the weekly current affairs programme, presented by Jeremy Vine. 9.00 Hustle Drama serial about a team of con artists. Really, truly. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Meat Alex Riley, the BBC’s connoisseur of rubbish food, is back on the search for more disgusting fare, and sets out to unearth the horrors that could be in his meaty snacks. Good viewing for dieters. 11.35 Late Kick Off Football bits and stuff. 12.05am Weatherview 12.10 Sign Zone: Delia Through The Decades 12.40 Great British Railway Journeys 1.10 Survivors 2.10 Who Do You Think You Are? 3.10 Who Do You Think You Are? 4.10 BBC News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Planet Ajay 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Around Scotland 11.20 The Maths Channel 11.30 Telling Stories 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo gets on a train and goes somewhere. He doesn’t sit on a platform for ages or take a replacement bus service. 7.00 A History Of The World: Culture Show Special A special edition marking the start of a landmark project in which the BBC and the British Museum focus on the span of human history through one hundred objects held at the museum. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions as two teams of students battle it out. 8.30 Delia Through The Decades Series celebrating Delia Smith’s career and the ways she has shaped what people eat and how they cook. 9.00 The British Family: Our History Kirsty Young looks at how British families have changed since the Second World War by exploring the impact of the sexual revolution. 10.00 Nurse Jackie Dark comedy drama series. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 American Football: Super Bowl Play-Offs Matt Roberts presents highlights from the NFL divisional play-offs. 12.20am Bowls: World Championships – Extra 1.20 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.10am The Hoobs 6.40 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.35 Celebrity Big Brother 8.30 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.10 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 TV Book Club 12.35 Checking Into History 12.50 Back To You 1.25 FILM: D-Day The Sixth Of June (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 LIVE Test Cricket 4.00pm Test Cricket 5.00 Tour Down Under: Charity Classic 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League: Championship 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Max Power
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Maisie is heartbroken to see Ryan returning to Katie. Ashley decides that if Sally will not leave the village, he will. 7.30 Coronation Street Is Molly going to tell Tyrone everything? Well, she hasn’t so far. Becky is not impressed with Steve’s laid back attitude. He’s always been like that! 8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary based in the Lake District. In this edition we head to the coast and meet the family overcoming tragedy to make sure that the Whitehaven Festival goes ahead. 8.30 Coronation Street Steve’s new golf clubs do not impress Becky. Even with an old soft shoe number. 9.00 Law & Order: UK See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: On Deadly Ground (1994) Starring Steven Seagal, Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John McGinley, R. Ermey, Shari Shattuck, Billy Bob Thornton. Action-packed thriller about an oil-rig firefighter who opposes an ecologically unsound scheme proposed by his sometime employer. Let’s see how many things blow up – using accelerant – in this ecological action flick. Hmm. 12.35am Take Me Out 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony worries that Cindy will stop needing him now that she is earning her own money. Sounds like a good healthy relationship packed with self-esteem. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 9.00 Gordon’s Great Escape Gordon Ramsay travels to India for the first time to experience the stunning diversity of its culinary traditions. Gordon starts in the north, home of the British curry house classics, where he cooks for express train passengers in a cramped pantry car. Later, an exacting royal chef instructs him to prepare a biryani for a wedding feast and some villagers send him up a tree to find a rare delicacy. Is it like going to the hardware store for ‘elbow grease’? 10.20 Celebrity Big Brother The second of tonight’s programmes from the Celebrity Big Brother house. 10.50 Slumdog Secret Millionaire Special episode of the hit series as British Indian entrepreneur Seema Sharma goes undercover in the largest slums in India. Repeat of last night’s show. 12.40am FILM: Jodhaa Akbar (2008) 4.20 FILM: Innocents In Paris (1953) 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Murder At The Presidio (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Miles responds to Ian’s blackmail attempt. Romeo is frustrated he is unable to find work. Common complaint at the moment. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters See highlights. 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. The interceptors have to drop everything when a speeding 4x4 rushes past them. Shame, ‘cos it was nice coffee. 9.00 Paul Merton In Europe Paul visits an American Indian Club in the former GDR before exploring the Wunderland miniature railway in the affluent city of Hamburg. 10.00 FILM: Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) Starring Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves, Anthony Hopkins, Richard E Grant and Sadie Frost. Retelling of the classic horror tale about Count Dracula, a 15thcentury prince who is condemned to live off the blood of the living for eternity. And act in a super-hammy way. Such a tragedy! 12.25am Urban Legends 1.00 SuperCasino 4.05 Divine Designs (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 European Rugby Special 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 10.30 Spanish Football 12.30pm Ford Football Special 1.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 2.00 Spanish Football 4.00 Friday Fight Night 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Test Cricket (x2) 10.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 12.00am Tour Down Under: Charity Classic 12.30 Test Cricket (x2) 3.30 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 11.00am Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm European Rugby Special 1.00 NFL: Divisional Playoffs 3.00 European Rugby Special 4.00 Kiteboarding 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 US Tour Golf 9.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 PGA Tour Classic 11.30 Snow Ride 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Afterburn 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Snow Ride 4.45 Wild Spirits 5.15 Close
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1.30pm Models Of The Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Got To Dance 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Golden Globes Highlights 11.00 Avatar: A New Dimension 11.30 Night Cops 12.30am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle Undercover 8.30 FILM: Only Stwpd Cowz Txt N Drive () 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Little Britain 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Little Britain 1.15 Being Human
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Legends 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Dear Diary 10.00 Mr Pepys’s Diary 11.00 The Secrets Of The Black Diaries 12.00am Dear Diary 1.00 Legends 2.00 Neil Sedaka: All You Need Is The Music 2.45 Only Connect 3.15 Dear Diary
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy 5.00 American Idol: Boston Auditions 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 The BRIT Awards 2010 Launch Party 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 12.10am Coronation Street (x2)
3.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.00 The Bill: Held Responsible 12.00am The Fixer
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother. See highlights. 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glee 9.55 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 10.45 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.50 Celebrity Big Brother Live
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00am Come Dine With Me 1.05 Without A Trace
11.00am Highly Dangerous (1950) 12.45pm Sailor Beware! (1956) 2.25 Avatar Special 2.35 Operation Amsterdam (1959) 4.40 Fun In Acapulco (1963) 6.30 Nowhere Boy Special 6.40 Freedom Writers (2007) 9.00 Adrift (2006) 10.50 Danny Boyle Special 11.00 28 Days Later (2001) 1.10am Melinda And Melinda (2004)