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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 26 Jan – 1 Feb 2010
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Killer Karaoke Let your hair down and sing your heart out at Lucky Voice page 15
COCKTAIL SPECIAL Mixologists reveal their secret recipes
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UNDERGROUND REBEL BINGO Bingo is about to be reborn... Have you seen our top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at TOP
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22 Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 676 796 Mon – Sat 10am to 6pm, Sun 12pm to 4pm info@specsopticians.co.uk www.specsopticians.co.uk
ÂŁ50 off complete glasses until 19th February Terms and conditions apply. Coupon must be presented at time of sale and cannot be used retrospectively.
003_LS459_contents
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Graffiti stars judge Artrepublic’s Street Art comp 5 City Speak Will’s mum can’t be too careful; plus Columnist Idol 5 Competitions Win Valentine’s gifts – and survival DVDs for singles 7 Heather Mills’ VBites The mistreatment of racing greyhounds 8 News Plans to turn spare ground into vegetable gardens; Councillor Mary Mears on seeing out the recession 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 9 Bookings Unsigned Band Review, Daniel Kitson, Katie Melua 10 Snap Shots Chris Cresswell demonstrates the art of pole-dancing 11 Celebcity Zoe and Norm’s new baby, Gok Wan and La Roux 12 Bare Cheek Seagull wins Mastermind 12 Astral Angi Astral has an apology to make
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L7 Don’t miss...
13 L7 INTERVIEW The Princess And The Frog star Anika Noni Rose talks about acting amphibian, accessing her inner child, and playing Disney’s first ever African-American princess
14 LIFESTYLE 14 Cocktail special Where to drink, what to order and how to mix a winning tipple yourself 15 Cover feature Sing while you’re sipping at karaoke and cocktail bar Lucky Voice 19 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Delicious veggie food paid for by the scale-load at Aloka 20 Hotlist 21 great restaurants and coffee shops
22 WHAT’S ON 22 Stage Arthur Pita’s new dance-theatre work, God’s Garden 23 Art & Events Holocaust Memorial Day events 24 Music & Club Sixties legend Tom Paxton on the Greenwich Village scene 26 Comedy & Gay A weekend of the best improvised comedy 27 Film What’s on at your local cinema 27 Reviews Way To Blue: A Tribute To Nick Drake, Delphic 28 Sport Tony Marks says the Premier League has gone soft 28 TV Telly Talk; your seven-day guide to what’s on the box
Underground Rebel Bingo Wednesday 27 January Secret venue (oh, OK, Concorde 2) Love the idea of bingo but, in reality, bored by the long stretches of nothingness and intimidated by all the sssh-ing? This clandestine club-night arrives on the back of some excitable London press, promising great prizes, messy activities and lots and lots of noise.
Latest on You can now follow Latest 7 and Latest Homes on Twitter. Sign up to your favourite sections and columnists to keep up to date with local entertainments stories, restaurant openings, health and beauty offers, celebrity gossip, property news and more. www.thelatest.co.uk/7/twitter
Everyone has a favourite cocktail, or at least a favourite cocktail moment. Aside from a good Mojito, which you can’t beat, you really can’t, my best would be the ‘Banners After 8’ I discovered in Crouch End, which tastes like Mint Aero but gets you so drunk that spraying the remaining liquid at the person opposite through all available straws suddenly seems like a fun, and fundamentally artistic, thing to do. My worst ever cocktail is a toss-up between the goldfish bowl filled with electric blue liquid I was once served at a pool-side bar in Greece (it was called an Andrew) and the thing blended-up in my kitchen using Campari, a three-year-old bottle of absinthe (the bottle was squeezy, like Fairy Liquid) and a cocktail cherry. Needless to say this issue’s cocktail special is aimed at steering you away from the latter approach and toward some of the best mixologists in the business, some of whom even disclose their favourite recipes for you to practice at home. For a sobering read after all that artfullydiluted alcohol, turn to Heather Mills’ VBites column, which is this week concerned with the treatment of racing greyhounds. Another star who’s refused to mellow his politics is Tom Paxton. A cornerstone of the ’60s US folk revival who’s still fighting for civil rights through song, he talks to Jeff Hemmings about what it was like to cut his teeth alongside Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie and Bill Cosby. This week’s L7 Interview, meanwhile, is with Disney’s new princess, Anika Noni Rose. Glen Ferris flew to Los Angeles to chat with the star of The Princess And The Frog – and find out why it was so important that her animated counterpart should be left-handed. It’s a very sweet story.
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
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Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
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Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
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SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps a graffiti competition, and the launch of the Martlets’ Midnight Walk
Nurses and Staff with Caroline Lower (Martlets Chief Executive) and Mayor Ann Norman
Midnight ramblers Mayor Ann Norman joined staff at the Martlets Hospice in Hove to launch their Midnight Walk 2010, which takes place on Friday 18 June. Over one summer night, over 1000 women will walk through the streets of Brighton and Hove wearing flashing bunny ears and pink cowboy hats, all to raise funds for the hospice. You can register online www.martletsmidnightwalk.co.uk, or call for a registration form on 01273 747455.
Andrew Milledge (Artrepublic), Static (Craig), Inkie, Pure Evil, Static (Tom), Lindsay Alkin (Artrepublic)
Static (Tom), Pure Evil, Static (Craig), Ben Eine, On Floor, Inkie
Last week established graffiti artists Inkie, Pure Evil, Ben Eine and Static travelled to Artrepublic on Bond Street to judge the Artrepublic Street Art Competition, which aims to raise awareness of homelessness in the UK. The five finalists selected were Grant De Jong (Plumpton), Jo Peel (Brighton), Mr Purnam (Brighton), Stik (London) and Gen Duarte (London). The winner will be announced on 28 January, and the winning image will be displayed as a three-storey-sized installation appearing on buildings in London and Brighton. It will also be sold as a limited edition print through the Artrepublic galleries in London and Brighton and online at www.artrepublic.com, with all proceeds going to StreetSmart.
Breakfast banter Andrew Kay of Latest Magazines talks about his 30-year career in publishing at a breakfast event at the Brighton and Hove Chamber of Commerce. His first novel, Pretty Boys All In A Row, is published by Book Guild in May.
Pic: Judy Ellis
Streets ahead
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CITY SPEAK | COMPETITIONS 05
Will
L7 is searching for a new local voice – and it’s providing a fascinating opportunity to find out what’s on your minds. Over the last two months we have been printing some of the submissions. First out of the post bag this week... Sarah Charsley, 34, Brighton
Will Harris finds knowledge doesn’t come with age
“W
hat are you doing?” My herself to her feet. “He’s a born-again, mother looks up at my but you don’t have to worry because question, but doesn’t stop he just wants everyone to get along.” spraying the aerosol over her hands. “Has he got that door open?” asks “It’s antibacterial,” she says, “for, you my stepfather, a suspicious growl know, swine flu and things.” beneath the brim of a Tampa Bay “Swine flu is a virus, mother.” Buccaneers baseball cap. Since “Antivirus then,” she sniffs, before moving to Florida, he has become turning the nozzle onto my stepfather, obsessed with the idea that doors who has fallen asleep in the warm must remain closed at all times. “It’s Florida sunshine. “We take it with us the only way to keep them out,” he everywhere these days. You can’t be says, and I’m genuinely unsure too careful.” whether he’s talking about fire ants Since semi-retiring to the or we’re back on the thorny issue Sunshine State last year, my mother of immigration. and her partner have discovered After bidding a hurried ‘hola’ to the there are a lot of things you can’t be gardener, I retreat into the cool of the too careful main house so about, including I can call H H1N1, fire ants, long-distance. “I’m unsure whether anyone who “The old lives north of the he’s talking about fire people have Mason-Dixon lost their line, and the minds,” I hiss ants or immigration” entire Native down the line. American race “They think (“I know they were mistreated, but Obama was sworn in as President honestly sweetheart they did quite using a Qur’an.” well in the end. They all run casinos “My mum thinks he had surgery in now”). I try again. Cuba to disguise the fact he’s really “Mum, you’re sitting by your own Bin Laden. I’m not talking to her.” pool. How can you get swine flu in “Right? You spend your whole life your own house?” looking up to your parents as these A polite knocking at the screen all-knowing beings, then you grow up door of the poolhouse makes both of to realise they know less about the us look up. Hermes, the Mexican world than you do. Do you ever gardener, is standing there. My eyes suddenly feel like you’re the adult narrow. She wouldn’t... and they’re the child?” “Lover, come and say hello to “I’m not talking to her,” H repeats. Hermes,” trills my mother, pulling “She’s given my cocking sledge away.”
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T
hough retired from the club scene for several years, it still came as a shock last weekend when I was refused entry to a Brighton nightclub for the seemingly innocuous action of ‘swaying’. I started clubbing when I was 16, and over the years witnessed people being turned away from various establishments for the following reasons: looking underage; inappropriate dress; verbal abuse to bouncer; physical abuse to bouncer; possession of drugs; possession of sharp objects. But since when, I ask, was swaying considered a public offence? Did it sneak its way from Whitehall on the b-side of the smoking ban? Do signs in clubs now read: ‘No illicit substances, smoking or swaying on the premises’? In their Nanny State bid to make our lives 100 per cent safe, did the legislators decide that swaying in nightclubs needed to be firmly stamped out before people started swaying into each other, causing no end of personal and economic damage? I can see the headlines: “Girl of 14 high on Ketamine swayed into by 30-something female in Brighton nightclub.” Or “London clubber sues fellow clubber for
accidentally swaying into and damaging his cocaine-inflated ego”. I like to think that the bouncer had my wellbeing at heart, that he thought, if I was swaying before I went in, then I might end up needing to be fireman’s-lifted out. Whatever his reasons, that’s the last time I try to get into a club after one too many glasses of Prosecco. Being told ‘You’re not coming in’ is both humiliating and incensing, especially when everyone else in the queue looks either underage, under-dressed or under the influence of more than just alcohol. If I can impart any wisdom from this experience it is that, when refused entry into a club, the worst possible thing you can do is try to change the bouncer’s mind. This will never ever happen and will only succeed in further aggravating him (or her) so that he threatens to make a call on his radio that will have you instantly banned from over 100 licensed establishments in the area. Fortunately, it didn’t get to this stage and after some unsuccessful negotiating, followed by no holds barred begging, I quietly swayed away into the night with my tail between my skinny jeans.
Want to read more from Sarah? comment@thelatest.co.uk
latestwill
Next week will be the final Columnist Idol before we announce our two new Latest 7 columnists. Thank you to the hundreds of people who entered.
COMPETITIONS THE PERFECT VALENTINE’S GIFT PACK Love is nearly in the air and for those who are still feeling the Christmas pinch we have a Valentine’s gift giveaway for both him and her. It includes... • A £50 voucher for Oki-Nami, Fatboy Slim’s stylish Japanese restaurant that serves award-winning sushi in a super-cool environment. The voucher can be spent on a meal, sushi lessons or Japanese items from the shop. • A pair of Tatty Devine enamel swallow cufflinks, based on a classic tattoo design, for any decidedly dapper chap. • Five romantic books (Classic Love Poems, Love, Hearts, Quotable Love and Words of Love) containing amorous words from Byron and Shakespeare to modern-day writers Isobel Carlson and Ian Heath. All are published by Summersdale and available at all good bookshops or by calling Summersdale. Q Who were Shakespeare’s “star-crossed lovers”?
A STACK OF DVDS FOR SASSY SINGLETONS For those of you who would prefer to ignore Valentine’s Day altogether, fear not! We haven’t forgotten you. If you think Cupid is stupid or hearts and flowers leave you cold, then park yourself on the sofa with the following... Nominated for five Oscars, Mary Queen Of Scots (Vanessa Redgrave, Trevor Howard, Glenda Jackson) is a lavish Tudor power play, costume drama and energetic romp about the last Catholic ruler of Scotland. Starring Ben Barnes and Colin Firth, The Picture Of Dorian Gray is a spiced-up Gothic retelling of Oscar Wilde’s classic Faustian novel. Finally, Prisoner Cell Block H: The Edna Pearson Story is a must have for every Prisoner fan. Q Which popular US diva sang about ‘Single Ladies’?
WIN!
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 8 February 2010.
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VBITES 07
VBites of wisdom Heather Mills on the grim fate awaiting many racing greyhounds
I
f someone you knew was keeping a starving and emaciated dog inside a kennel only big enough to stand up in for up to 23 hours a day, what would you do? Call the police? The RSPCA? Exactly. So why does society turn a blind eye to racing greyhounds being kept in this way? The government is going to bring new regulations in this year covering the time the dogs spend at the tracks. But the RSPCA and The Dogs Trust say the government’s proposals ignore the real issues: conditions in some kennels away from the tracks, and the thousands of greyhounds that disappear every year. Brighton and Hove has its own greyhound track and I’m not saying this track treats the dogs badly. The truth is greyhounds like to run! But the spectators have no idea what can go on behind the scenes all over the country. You’re sold a fun night out with friends or family but these beautiful creatures, second only to the cheetah for speed, are not always adequately protected from unscrupulous owners. Greyhounds are graceful, dignified and affectionate dogs but some are kept in the most appalling of conditions while their owners make money out of them. They are not well socialised and miss out on everything that makes a dog’s life happy. Instead, there are greyhounds being subjected to confinement and deprivation for most of their lives. As I see it, these are the lucky ones.
“Thousands of greyhounds ‘disappear’ every year because they didn’t make the grade – 20,000 could be being put to death” Thousands ‘disappear’ every year because they didn’t make the grade. Maybe they aren’t fast enough, fight with the other greyhounds, or can’t fathom a good reason for chasing an artificial hare. I doubt anybody really knows how many disappear every year, but some campaigners say 20,000 could be being put to death. The Dogs Trust says ‘retirement’ can range from shooting or drowning, to being exported to a hot foreign country to race in terrible conditions. Mass graves are found in Ireland where most of the greyhounds racing in England are bred. In 2006, a man in County Durham was charged with killing 10,000 over 15 years, and in 2008 an undercover Sunday Times investigation found the largest greyhound breeder in Britain selling healthy, but slow, puppies to be killed and dissected for research. Dogs are found, both dead and barely alive, with their ears cut off so they can’t be traced back to their owners – they have a tattoo identifying them in their ears. I have years of supporting animal rights campaigns behind me, and what I find most shocking about the whole greyhound racing industry is all those that are meant to be responsible putting money ahead of the welfare of the dogs. The RSPCA says at least 10,000 greyhounds retire each year and the fate of many of these is unknown. Lots of owners keep them as pets but these are the lucky few. Many more are adopted. But for every lucky greyhound you see being taken for a walk around Brighton, another one disappeared somewhere, its fate unknown. Should the government do more to protect racing greyhounds? comment@thelatest.co.uk
PASTA WITH ASPARAGUS, SUN DRIED TOMATOES AND PESTO Serves 3-4
Heather’s
DIARY
D
ancing On Ice has been the most amazing way to start the year. I have absolutely been having the time of my life. I’ve fulfilled a massive physical challenge, and I know from my website that I’ve inspired other amputees to have a go at the challenges they face in their lives. Whatever your challenge is for this year, please, get out and do it. I am looking ahead to life after Dancing On Ice – and I think my battered body has earned a short respite! But as the frozen days of winter recede, there’s so much to look forward to – starting with VBites Valentine celebrations and Pasta Party for the Brighton Half Marathon runners from 18 to 20 February.
Sharing the VBites love
Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com See website for winter opening times
Book your table now for VBites LGBT Valentines on 6 February. It’ll be a night of soft music, candles, sparkling wines and fine cuisine, and an ambience to match. Book your table early to avoid disappointment. We aren’t forgetting those that aren’t celebrating the patron saint of love. Instead, we say show your friends how much you love them on 13 February at VBites. Bring them down for our singles night – avoid the smooching couples, and spread the love around! Single or in a couple, we’ll show you a good time!
Ingredients 1 bunch fresh asparagus chopped into 3cm pieces or 1 tin asparagus, drained and chopped 250g fusilli spirals or other pasta such as penne 1⁄ pack of moist sun-dried 2 tomatoes chopped into bite-sized pieces with scissors 4 large garlic cloves, finely chopped (crushing them doesn’t work so well as they tend to stick together in a lump) 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 200g jar vegan pesto such as Zip or Motherhemp Handful of fresh, chopped coriander or couple of pinches mixed herbs such as tarragon and oregano Method: 1 Cook pasta in a pan of boiling salted water according to packet instructions. 2 Meanwhile, if using fresh asparagus, steam gently for about 3-5 minutes. 3 Test to see if it’s done – cook for another minute or so if not. Keep warm. 4 When the pasta is cooked, drain and keep warm. 5 In a small pan, heat the olive oil, add chopped garlic and fry gently until lightly browned. 6 Add oil and garlic to pasta and mix thoroughly. 7 Add the sun-dried tomatoes to the pasta together with cooked asparagus, pesto, herbs – mix in well. 8 Add salt, ground black pepper and a little more olive oil if liked.
Love is in the air Book your table now for VBites LGBT Valentin es on 6 February.
see you – Heather
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08 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
Sussex firefighters head to Haiti, ‘guardian angel’ done for fraud, and all the city’s a garden
A
dolf Hitler was bombing Britain the last time this was witnessed in Brighton and Hove. Digging up lawns and spare land to grow food proved a huge success during World War II, and there’s no reason why the city council’s new plan to allow residents to cultivate spare ground shouldn’t be just as fruitful. Council officials are conducting a survey of available land and gauging potential interest from residents. The initiative stems from a project called Harvest Brighton, which recently won £500,000 of lottery funding to increase the number of people growing food locally. Proponents say it would increase community spirit, reduce transport miles and carbon emissions, and ease waiting lists for allotments. Will we be seeing Pavilion potatoes for sale on the streets? Or Level lettuces, Albion asparagus, Racecourse radish, Adelaide artichokes and Brunswick brussels? The possibilities are endless...
January has been a busy news time. Our hearts (and hopefully our donations) go out to the victims of the Haiti earthquake – well done to the Sussex firefighters who flew out to help with rescues. Locally, crime has dominated the headlines.The Ocean Rooms nightclub in Morley Street, Brighton, was closed by the city council after Ricky Brown, 25, died from head wounds following a fight outside. A man has been charged. Well done to the Sussex Police Major Fraud Team for nailing 61-year-old Janet Woodley who worked for a Sussex solicitors firm and conned elderly clients out of thousands of pounds. She was jailed for two years after pleading guilty to eight charges and for stealing £26,000. She painted herself as a 'guardian angel' to her
victims, helping them wherever possible with their finances but helping herself to their savings. She was in the middle of a £100,000 sting when police pounced. On the health scene, while the winter vomiting bug and swine flu may be diminishing, experts are warning of another set of nasty illnesses. Researchers in Brighton have been awarded £1.5 million to find ways to treat partners of people with sexually transmitted infections (STI) to combat their Janet Woodley continuing spread. Increasing numbers of patients are being diagnosed and treated for chlamydia and gonorrhoea, and their partners also need treatment to prevent further transmission. The study will look for the best ways to get tests and treatment to partners who may not realise they are at risk. Treatment can prevent them from re-infecting patients and transmitting infection to new partners. Professor Jackie Cassell, leading the research at the Brighton and Sussex Medical School, said the study will compare different approaches. Volunteer patients diagnosed with an STI in Sussex will be given information and asked to tell partners about the problem and the need to be treated. Lastly, congratulations to firefighters for reuniting a mother with her baby after it was locked inside her car. It happened in another town where some councillors are considering the dig for victory use of spare land. The incident happened – wait for it – near Pease Pottage. Would you like to grow food on spare land? comment@thelatest.co.uk follow me on twitter
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on helping small businesses
comment@thelatest.co.uk Dear All, after seven years at the Nightingale Theatre the resident company Prodigal will retire as actor-managers of the venue on the 4 February. At 7pm there will be an official handover event, when the new artistic director Steven Brett will be welcomed. At 9.30pm Prodigal will perform the final part of their multi award-winning Tragedian Trilogy, the first part of which re-opened the venue to the public following eight years of closure. Prodigal would like to acknowledge the support of the city’s audiences and the artistic community who have helped to make the venue such a success. Over one hundred new pieces of theatre and dance have been created with the theatre since 2002 and the development culture pioneered by the Nightingale is now echoed by all the city’s professional venues in their policies. Prodigal wish Steven Brett and his team every success for the future, and look forward to supporting his directorship of the venue, which has played such an important part in their own development. They will remain a resident company at the venue and are now an associate company of the Brighton Festival, with whom their next performance will premiere in May of this year. Alister O’Loughlin and Miranda Henderson, Prodigal Theatre Hi there, I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the Lucky Voice prize [‘Win a karaoke night with your mates’, Competitions, L7 450]. We had a fab time and the staff there were fantastic. Thanks again! Amy Ranjbar, by email You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
latest7news
going to be complacent. In the next few weeks I will be looking hard to see if there are any further measures we can take to build upon the success of the recession-relief package which we put in place last year. Small businesses are crucial to the prosperity and well-being of the whole city and I will continue to do everything I can to help them. www.snapitnow.co.uk
I was really pleased to hear last week that the influential Centre for Cities think tank has predicted that Brighton and Hove will be one of the cities best placed to emerge strongly from the recession, citing our highly educated workforce, sense of entrepreneurship and a strong private sector as reasons. The evidence that we have so far indicates that small businesses in the city have weathered the storm relatively well so far but things are not going to get any easier for them in the coming months. For a start, there is a triple-whammy of tax rises for them to contend with. Firstly, VAT went back up to 17.5% this month, pushing the price of
goods, services and things like petrol up. Secondly, employer and employee National Insurance contributions are both set to increase by 1% next year, which will put huge pressure on local employers. Then finally, and perhaps most worrying, is the Government’s business rate revaluation which will see 60% of our local firms having to pay higher rates, significantly so in some cases. I have recently written to the Government Minister – John Denham – on this matter, asking him to give areas such as Brighton and Hove some extra support to get the city’s small businesses through this difficult period. I very much hope that he is in listening mode. A further factor, that is adding to the pressure on our smaller independent retailers is the impact big supermarket chains are having. They are moving into the city in increasing numbers and, under current planning regulations, councils are powerless to do anything about it. The Centre for Cities analysis gives us reason to be optimistic in Brighton and Hove but I am certainly not
latest inbox
Julie Stanford, president of Brighton & Hove Chamber of Commerce, and Councillor Ted Kemble, cabinet member for enterprise, employment and major projects, at the launch of the Business Lifebelt
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BOOKINGS | CHART
L7 Bookings
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week…
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest
UNSIGNED BAND REVIEW Prince Albert, 11 March, £5, www.unsignedreview.com In a local band and desperate for some proper feedback? Unsigned Band Review is a site that bridges the gap between musicians and the music industry. This showcase gig, sponsored by the Latest Music Chart, includes a demo drop. Buy a ticket, leave your CD and contact details, and you’ll get a guaranteed review from one of the panel of professionals, from A&R to production and PR. In addition, one of the bands playing on the night will be selected from among the most successful acts in the Latest Music Chart’s history. So keep submitting your tracks at www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
09
1 Panos Christofi – I'll Never Know 2 Panos Christofi – In My Mind 3 tenek – State Of Mind 4 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do
IDIOTS OF ANTS
5 Panos Christofi – Only The Night
Komedia, 15 April, £12/10, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk Fast-paced comedy from the group Time Out dubbed ‘The best sketch show of 2009’.
7 The Mojo Fins – Always Now
DANIEL KITSON
THE JOHN MANN MUSIC SHOW
8 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind Of Love
Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 24-25 May, 8pm, £12, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org ‘This is not stand-up’ says Daniel Kitson of his Edinburgh 2009 show, ‘66a Church Road: A Lament Made Of Memories And Kept In Suitcases’. Instead it’s a break-up show about the longest relationship of his life – with his flat. As anyone who caught the cult comedian’s 2007 Brighton Festival show C90 will know, no one does conceptual whimsy with more emotional bite.
Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 18July (2.30pm), £10, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The septuagenarian showman and keysman plays the Dome’s famous organ.
FRISKY AND MANNISH Komedia, 16 May, £10-£21.50 (with Meal Deal), 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk Rising cabaret stars welcome you to their heavily made-up School Of Pop: on the syllabus, everything from The Bangles to Lily Allen.
PLAN B Concorde 2, 11 April, £12.50, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 The leader of the British rap pack, once hailed as London’s answer to Eminem. He’s just directed and starred in his own film, The Defamation Of Strickland Banks, and the album of the same name is out on 22 March.
7 FINGERS: TRACES Theatre Royal Brighton, 25-27 March, £19, 08448 717 650, www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton Modern circus skills set to hip-hop, rock and blues from the award-winning urban acrobats who sold out at the Brighton Festival in 2008.
JOHN BISHOP Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 23 November, £20, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org This amiable Liverpudlian ditched his high-flying marketing job to talk about his homelife to strangers, and has swiftly gone from playing to two pews’-worth in The Old Courtroom to this mammoth stand-up gig. (Catch him first at Komedia on 18 February).
9 Clockworks – Fairytales 10 Chaos Borne – I Will It’s a good week for dance-tinged pop singersongwriter Panos Christofl as he takes not only the number one spot with ‘I’ll Never Know’, but also numbers two, four and five. Providing the cybergoth-tinged meat in the week’s Panos sandwich is Depeche Mode-influenced duo Tenek with chart mainstay ‘State of Mind’. Previous top fivers, acoustic songwriter Harper Ash and ‘60sstyle rockers No Sharp Objects, move down the top ten as popular Brighton indie types The Mojo Fins make a welcome return with ‘Always Now’.
11 Jaybee Cowboys Blues
21 Chaos Borne The Moment
12 No Sharp Objects Home
22 Chaos Borne Watching
13 Freudstein Misadventure
23 Dannydangerously HARIBO
14 Surrender Monkeys John Agar Was Right
24 N-D-E Bad Habit
15 EVOH “I Love Brighton”
KATIE MELUA Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 16 December, £30-£50 (VIP Package), 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The mellifluous angel/doe-eyed dullard (depending on who you ask) tours in support of her fourth album, which is due in May and sees her work with Robbie Williams writer Guy Chambers and William Orbit.
6 Harper Ash – Star
16 Jaybee Brokeback Mountain
SOLID SILVER ’60S SHOW The Hawth, Crawley, 13 May, £20.50-£22.50, 01293 553636, www.hawth.co.uk The ’60s nostalgia fest celebrates 25 years, with performances by the likes of Dave Berry and The Troggs.
UP YOURS Latest Music Bar, 2 February, £4/3, 01273 687171, www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar Latest 7’s own Bare Cheek writer Brian Mitchell and Jerry Rulf bring their popular Radio Reverb show to a live audience.
THE BLUETONES Concorde 2, 5 May, £13, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 Mark Morriss’s much maligned Brit-pop survivors play from their first album in four years.
17 Kid Komas feat LOc E Fidget Changed The Game 18 Tenek If I Should Fall 19 Jaybee Wasting My Time 20 Lolatwist Pretty
25 The Fooley Mantras Matter Of Time 26 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 27 Cayden Cole Dance With My Father 28 N-D-E Incredible Machine 29 Hu Ha Freedom 30 The Charge Dig It SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
010_LS459_Snap Shots
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3:29 PM
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10 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: performer Chris Cresswell
“
It’s only when I’m on the pole that I feel really free. People say that pole dancing is for girls but they’re wrong, Pole is for everyone, it’s a spiritual shiny steel connection between heaven and earth. I say, go for it boys, we’re in Brighton, its a liberated town!
”
Chris Cresswell on the pole at his Poleoke evening – a bit like karaoke but with dancing instead of singing. The next Poleoke is at Latest Music Bar on 12 February. Chris is the creator of anarchic cabaret show Voodoo Vaudeville, Artistic Director of the Ropetackle Arts Centre in Shoreham, and played the part of Prodnose in Johnny Depp’s Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk manchester street, brighton
tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
011_LS459_celebcity
1/22/10
12:20 PM
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CELEBCITY 11
SPONSORED BY
GOK’S JEWELLERY FIX
Celebcity with Jo Brooks
TV fashion fixer Gok Wan got a lovely surprise from his partner recently – a brand spanking new piece of jewellery from bespoke Brighton designer, Jeremy Hoye. The silver diagonal-cut ring was from the jeweller’s Luna collection.
Zoe and Norm celebrate their daughter’s birth, Gok Wan gets spoilt and La Roux takes mum shopping
You’ve come a long way, baby H
uge congratulations go to Zoe Ball and Norman Cook on the birth of little Nelly May Lois Cook, a baby sister for their son Woody, who is nine. The couple were absolutely beaming when they showed off their new arrival on leaving London’s Portland Hospital last weekend. Zoe, 39, gave birth by caesarean section, and three days later she and DJ Norman, 46, posed for the press and photographers outside the private hospital. I texted Norman last week to send my congratulations, and he replied that he was, “absolutely over the moon”. Ahhh! No doubt Zoe will be back in her size 10 jeans soon enough – you never know, she might be joining hubby Norm in his training for the inaugural Brighton Marathon. Norm, who has committed to take part, will be running alongside 10,000 others in the 26 mile run, which starts in Preston Park on 18 April. Rest assured, we’ll be bringing you regular updates on other celebs who will be taking part in Brighton Marathon.
COOGAN CAUGHT OUT Hove-based actor Steve Coogan has revealed his all time most embarrassing moment. It took place in an HMV Store (though whether or not it was the Churchill Square branch was not disclosed). Steve was spotted by a shopper rooting through the DVD section under his own name. Thumbing through the Alan Partridge box sets is never the coolest thing to be doing!
SPOTTED!
Singer La Roux (Sgt June Ackl with her mum an Bill) browsing d from The bargains in th the sale e Lanes.
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
follow me on twitter
latestcelebcity
10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday, until 28 February, excluding Valentine’s Day. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
012_LS459_cheeky/stars
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ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
12
1/22/10
In & Out
SPECIAL FILMS YOU ENJOYED BUT WHOSE PLOTS YOU CAN’T FOR THE LIFE OF YOU REMEMBER EDITION
In
The Bare Cheek
YOOF COLUMN! Joe: Er
Joe: Jolly good.
Brian: Well here we are again.
MORE OF THE KRAZY WORLD OF YOOF NEXT WEEK
Joe: Yes. So – young people eh?
Joe: Hmm.
• The Sand Pebbles • Old Gringo • Charley Varrick • The Quiller Memorandum • The Milagro Beanfield War
> Sex pest's tears of joy > Top Kurts commemorated: Vonnegut, Cobain, Russell, Waldheim
> Lost episode of Hi-di-Hi! burnt > Blackmail voted best
Out
Joe: Oh yes?
bunions, Runyons
of Britain's second oldest man
Brian: Ooh. I nearly forgot – I very nearly bought an iPod the other day.
> Seagull wins Mastermind > Messiah jailed > “Secret of long life”: Onions, > Ventriloquism costs rocket > Wonka Tax “a disaster” > Britain's oldest man dismissive
• The Onion Field • McCabe And Mrs Miller • Heat • Six Days Of The Condor • Klute
Brian: Yes.
NEWS IN BRIEF
Brian: Yes. But in the end I didn’t. Instead I bought a two volume set of The Collected Novels of Tobias Smollett.
non-lethal crime
What we used to say An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Emotional Intelligence” A phrase popularized in 1995 by Daniel Goleman in his book of the same name to denote the kind of intellect that fully comprehends and assesses human feelings, rather than, say, merely grappling with a logical paradox or a mathematical conundrum in a somewhat arid manner. WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Wisdom”
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
Astral is filled with remorse – sort of
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
To any Arians that were offended by me saying that they were bossy last week, I apologise. I have been inundated with people telling me I am wrong and what I should do. Mmmm? Clingy old Taureans were no less vocal but in a far nicer way, claiming me for their own. Hands off Taurus! I am far too ethereal and certainly not for public consumption. My call to Geminis to write down all your witty ideas resulted in a small flurry of a response and proved that my thoughts may be wrong and that you are not witty at all.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Devious and manipulative, I called Cancerians, and since then Sussex Police have uncovered a plot to have me assassinated. Only kidding, it was simply to have me knee-capped. Proud Leos grasped their dogged nature and ran with it. Stubborn no, defiant yes, determined true, immovable often but lovable despite all this. For those Virgos who did not take my advice and started to lie about their star sign, here is my thought for the week. Follow your heart right now and embrace your romantic side.
The suggestion of frivolous romance to Librans gave rise to a lot of very silly parties which led to a great deal of embarrassment. By the way, has anyone found a pink sock? I suggested that Scorpios’ imagination and controlling nature could be dangerous. I was right as the Scorpio who infiltrated the Libran party proved all to clearly. Yeuk! Hello Sagis, are any of you awake? Oh yes, one or two of you at the back. Apologies for causing a stir, I hope I didn’t cause too much fuss. No? Good, now back to sleep with you.
Capricorns are still waiting for the worst to happen. I predict that among all the good things that happen to you this week there will be some bad things too. Happier? Aquarians are at their peak right now and wackier than ever. Please try to remember that not everyone will understand, or care, what you are on about. Carry on all the same. Pisceans felt slighted at the idea of being slippery and for that I apologise. If you happen to spot me in Bardsley’s come over and I will treat you to a portion of mushy peas.
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1/21/10
2:46 PM
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L7 INTERVIEW 13
someone before you get married – that is, unless it’s part of your culture. In our culture at this time, it makes sense to have that kind of attitude. It’s one thing portraying a princess on the big screen but how did you adjust your performance when you had to play a frog? I didn’t really change her persona for frogdom. She has many more adventures when she’s a frog, what with all the running, falling over and carrying on, but it’s still her. Her energy is a little bit more intense and hectic but otherwise I just played her as if she was her human self.
KISS AND TELL
In an LA exclusive, Glen Ferris talks to The Princess And The Frog star Anika Noni Rose about being Disney’s first African-American princess
How difficult is it doing animation voiceovers compared to normal on-screen work? I think that as long as you’re aware of what the situation is then it’s fine, it’s actually pretty freeing because you have to let your inner child come out and play. But if you’re running through a swamp, you have to find a way to make it sound like you’re running through a swamp. So I’d be running around the studio and jumping up and down in front of the microphone so you could hear the exertion in my voice.
W
ishing upon a star rally has made Anika Noni Rose’s dreams come true. Best known as one third of the Dreamgirls, alongside Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Hudson, and as the narky receptionist Grace Makutsi in The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, the 37-year-old actor is now winning hearts as the voice of Tiana in Disney’s newest feature, The Princess And The Frog. A return to the studio’s hand-drawn animation roots, it’s a 1920s New Orleans-based tale about a young woman with big dreams who is mistaken for a princess, coerced into kissing a prince-turned-frog and then forced to deal with a big problem when she’s transformed into a green-skinned amphibian herself. We travelled to Disney’s Animation Studios in LA to talk to Anika about froggy love, the challenges of voiceover work and the honour of playing the House of Mouse’s first African-American princess. How did it feel to be approached by Disney? It felt magnificent. It still feels magnificent. I’m still going through it and figuring it out; it feels a little difficult to really think about it when you’re going along on your little cloud so I guess some day soon it’ll really sink in. For now though, it just feels great. Much has been made of the fact that Tiana is the first African-American Disney princess. Did you feel like a kind of pioneer? Well, you know, we’re in a time in society where we’re so much more integrated than we used to be, so it only makes sense that she be here now.
How did you and Bruno [Campos, who plays Prince Naveen] work together? Did you bond? Not really because usually when you’re doing animation you’re alone. We did maybe two 20minute sessions together to play off of each other but that was about a year into the process. It’s a very solitary thing and when it all comes together it’s a very magical thing because you would never guess everything would come together so well.
“I wanted Tiana to not look like a cookie-cutter princess who had been coloured in brown” Disney animation is now being helmed by John Lasseter, who used to run Pixar, and he has a really clear image of America that he wants to embrace and expand. Disney is so clearly a representation of Americana and I think that Tiana is a beautiful role model for all young girls. In fact, I’ve seen little girls playing in the park with their Tiana outfits on and they’re not looking up to her for her skin colour or her pioneer status, they’re looking up to her because she’s pretty, she’s smart, she’s talented and she’s their princess – which is pretty amazing. Compared to Disney’s classic princesses, Tiana is very modern, particularly in her relationship with Prince Naveen... I think that even if you’re doing something set in a certain time, it’s important that you still talk to the children of today. It’s important that we should show little boys and girls the necessity of getting to know
Did you have any say in how Tiana would look? They videotaped me so they could capture the way that I move and I did ask if they could make her left-handed because I’m left-handed and I feel that, as a child, when you’re in art class using scissors and all they do is bend the paper, that’s a very strange place to be. It’s not something that’s talked about in the movie but any child who has ever been in a gym class and isn’t able to play baseball because there isn’t a glove for them will be able to recognise that she’s just like them. I also said I wanted it to look like she ate and wasn’t skinny, and she has a full mouth and a little round nose and curly hair and these are all things that made her look distinctly herself. I wanted her to not look like a cookie-cutter princess who had been coloured in brown. When I saw her for the first time and realised how much she looked like me I was really blown away. What about your froggy self? Froggy has lashes, froggy has great lashes. She looks fantastic. The Princess And The Frog is in cinemas from 29 January. Glen Ferris is Managing Editor of Screenrush. To watch more great behind-thescenes features for The Princess And The Frog, visit www.screenrush.co.uk
014_018_LS459_cocktails
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1/22/10
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COCKTAILS SPECIAL
IN THE MIX Shaken, muddled or stirred – Brighton has become the cocktail capital of the UK
B
righton has a long history of “Brighton today has louche living and luxury lifestyles. And what fits that left behind the two better than cocktail culture? The city has always had its cocktail pints of lager and bars, some in hotels, and some tucked away in upstairs rooms. But a packet of crisps it was back in 2000 that things culture for a far took a stellar turn. Blanch House opened and Chris Edwardes, more sophisticated international cocktail guru, raised the bar. From then on Brighton’s cocktails and bars have aspired to make our city the place to drink cocktails – and champagne lifestyle” they have succeeded. Brighton today has left behind the two pints of lager and a packet of crisps culture for a far more sophisticated cocktails and champagne lifestyle. And while we still love our traditional pubs, we are more often to be found in the city’s smart bars and hotels. Hotels like Drakes, Una, Neo and the Merkaba Bar at MyHotel are the places to meet and be seen, while restaurants like Las Iguanas are up there as cocktail lovers’ haunts with their great Caipirinhas. Each bar boasts great mixologists: a passionate bunch of men and women who invest a great deal of time into preparing great classic cocktails and creating inspired new ones. Many of our city’s mixologists are gaining national recognition too, in cocktail competitions both here and abroad. So, for the moment, you can hold the pint and make mine a Martini.
015_LS459_luckyvoice
1/22/10
3:36 PM
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COVER FEATURE 15
SHERBET KISS 20ml raspberry vodka 10ml Cointreau 5ml lime juice 5ml cranberry juice 1 raspberry Flying saucer sherbet sweet The Sherbet Kiss shot is made by shaking raspberry Stolichnaya vodka and Cointreau with cranberry, fresh raspberries, lime juice and ice. Then strain from the cocktail tin into a shot glass and top with a flying saucer sherbet sweet. The drink should be enjoyed by placing the flying saucer on your tongue and letting the flavours go through the sherbet as you drink.
KILLER COCKTAILS
Lucky Voice may be the hottest karaoke bar this side of Tokyo, but did you know it’s also a sizzling cocktail bar?
E
veryone needs to have a karaoke song: a number that, no matter what your singing voice is like, you can belt out with ease and amaze your friends. Karaoke is certainly not about having a good voice, it’s about having a good time, and the guys at Lucky Voice know a lot about having good fun. Once you have your karaoke song you also need to have your cocktail. Everyone should spend a little time finding out what cocktail they really like. It saves wading through menus of wild and wacky names in the hope that what you choose you will actually like. So why not head down to Lucky Voice and do both bits of research at the same time? You can explore your vocal repertoire and explore the cocktail menu at your leisure...
Best kept secret Lucky Voice is probably best known as a karaoke venue, but their cocktail bar is one of the city’s best kept secrets. The Lucky Voice bar is open to the public and has live DJs playing there on Friday and Saturday nights. Yes, you can drink and not sing if that is what you like. Unlike your average karaoke club, Lucky Voice is not a bar with a stage where the general public sing in front of strangers. No, it’s a far more intimate affair where you book a private (read soundproof) booth and sing with your nearest and dearest. No public humiliation is involved whatsoever. The booths are lush, padded banquette seating, together with props, an amazing selection of songs and brilliant waiter service for all your drinks. You simply press the ‘Thirsty’ button and help will arrive. There are beers and spirits, champagne, cocktails and
shots to oil those vocal chords. And when you finish singing you can retire to the relative quiet of the bar and relax with a recuperative drink.
What, no singing? Yes, singing is not required, although most people will find it hard to resist once inside. The bar is open to the general public; simply go in to the main reception and say that you would like to go to the bar. Downstairs you will find a sparkling room where you can feel comfortable either dressed up or dressed down.
“Everyone needs to have a karaoke song, just as everyone needs to have their cocktail”
LUCKY DESTINY 1/4 kiwi 3 wheels cucumber (chopped) 4 mint leaves 10ml sugar syrup 40ml gin or vodka 10ml apple Schnapps 10ml lime juice 25ml apple juice Lime wheel Mint sprig
The Lucky Destiny is a mix of either Smirnoff Black premium vodka or Hendricks Gin. Firstly, muddle the kiwi fruit with cucumber and homemade sugar syrup, then add crushed ice and top with the chosen spirit. Carefully fold in the flavours of pressed apple juice and apple Schnapps, then release essence of mint into the drink by smashing the leaves. Finally, serve with a lime squeezed wheel and mint sprig.
Their cocktail menu is a great blend of classics and contemporary concepts, but if you don’t see what you want, then the mixologists are happy to whip up your favourite drink. If you find the choice too large, then have a chat with the bar staff and tell them what spirits you like; what mixers; what flavours; if you like them long or short (drinks that is!), and leave it to them to mix up something you are bound to enjoy. Here at Latest 7, we must confess to having a real liking for the Sherbet Kiss, a spiky little shot that comes with the added bonus of a sherbet flying saucer as a garnish. If you prefer something longer then you could go for the signature Lucky Destiny, a cool blend of apple, cucumber and mint that will leave any Mojito in the shade.
The lucky draw Lucky Voice opened in a blaze of publicity, fun and jelly. Now it has firmly become one of the city’s most favourite and fun nights out. With special deals and happy hour before 8pm Monday to Friday, the Lucky Voice cocktail bar is a great place to start, end or spend your whole evening. Lucky Voice, 8 Black Lion Street, Brighton, BN1 1ND, 01273 715770, www.luckyvoice.co.uk
014_018_LS459_cocktails
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COCKTAILS SPECIAL
Neo Hotel
Drakes
The Neo cocktail bar is undeniably Brighton and Hove’s hidden gem, known to a discerning few who love the vintage décor and intimate feel of this characterful venue. The cute little bar features Egyptian chandeliers, comfortable buttoned seating, original artwork and a carefully chosen selection of contemporary cocktails and old favourites. The Neo Hotel is a delightfully different place to go for a pre-dinner drink, group catch-up or late night place to chill. Open to the public late on Friday and Saturday nights, the bar features a continually updated cocktail menu using fresh ingredients, the newest premium brands and a good dose of panache – all served by a friendly barman. And If you’ve had one too many you can always check into one of the hotel’s nine beautifully decorated luxury bedrooms. It’s best to call ahead for parties of 10 or more, or just turn up and start the weekend with a cracking cocktail in this groovy boudoir bar.
The cocktail bar at Drakes reflects the sophistication that has made the hotel an internationally sought-after destination; Drakes is included in Condé Nast Traveller’s hot list of hotels in the world. The slick space incorporates an impressive black Italian granite bar, backlit and flanked by glass and lacquer drink lockers. The circular lounge area boasts triple-aspect windows with views of the sea, where leather chairs make for a laid back, yet glamorous, environment. Drakes’ cocktail list provides an eclectic mix of classic favourites and new creations alongside an extensive range of premium brand spirits and Champagnes. Their skilled bar staff are always happy to recommend something special or create a bespoke cocktail to suit your taste. So come, unwind, relax and allow yourself the indulgence. The cocktail bar at Drakes is open to the public seven nights a week until 11pm (10.30pm on Sundays), and later for hotel residents and their guests. Famous for his impeccable cocktails, Fraser Crighton adds a modern twist to a much loved classic:
QUINCE & VANILLA SIDECAR Ingredients 25ml Bramble and Gage Quince Liqueur 25ml Cognac 25ml fresh lemon juice 15ml vanilla sugar Vanilla pod (to garnish)
NEO CLASSIC Ingredients 1 shot Belvedere vodka 1/2 shot Effen black cherry vodka 1/2 shot amaretto 1/2 shot fresh lime Fresh cloudy apple juice Neo Hotel, 19 Oriental Place, Brighton, BN1 2LL, 01273 711104, www.neohotel.com
Method Shake all the ingredients in a shaker with ice cubes, then strain into a Coupette or Martini glass, and garnish with the vanilla pod. Bring your friends to Drakes cocktail bar for an evening of relaxed glamour. Buy two cocktails and get two free (on a selection of cocktails, valid Sunday through Thursday until 28 February 2010, excluding Valentines Day). Quote ‘The Latest’ to claim this discount. Drakes Of Brighton, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
014_018_LS459_cocktails
1/22/10
4:00 PM
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COCKTAILS SPECIAL 17
Hotel Una
Blanch House
The ultra modern Hotel Una is a 20-bedroom boutique hotel in Regency Square, with a trendy and stylish cocktail bar. The chic interior, combined with the friendly and knowledgable staff, makes Hotel Una the perfect place to drink and stay in Brighton!
Tucked away in Kemp Town, Blanch House is one of Brighton's best kept secrets, serving great cocktails in a friendly cosy atmosphere and welcoming everyone that makes the effort to find it with open arms. The bar has won many awards for its cocktails and customer service and is widely regarded as the coolest bar in the south of England. If you would like to sample their unique range of cocktails, then from Sunday to Thursday you can enjoy two for the price of one on selected cocktails (just bring a copy of this magazine along with you). The below cocktail is a twist on one of the very first interpretations of a cocktail, 'The Daisy'. This drink captures all of the floral flavours of Hendricks gin while marrying some more contemporary tastes for a long refreshing drink. (Its namesake was a great film as well!)
Buy a cocktail and receive the second one for free at Hotel Una’s cocktail bar! (Valid until 28 February 2010, excluding 12–14 February).
CHOCOLATE FLIRT Ingredients 50ml chocolate vodka 25ml banana liquor 10ml Crème de Cacao 15ml Koko Kanu rum Liquid chocolate Method Shake all the ingredients together and serve in a chilled cocktail glass rimmed with chocolate. Hotel Una, 55–56 Regency Square, Brighton, BN1 2FF, 01273 820464, www.hotel-una.co.uk
CHIVING MISS DAISY Ingredients 50ml Hendricks gin 25ml Fresh lemon juice 12.5 ml Chestnut liqueur 12.5 ml chive syrup Small dash grenadine Garnish with a few chives and twist of lime Method Shake all ingredients in a shaker and place in a Collins glass (highball), top with crushed ice, and add a tiny splash of soda. Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, BN2 1PL, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk
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1/22/10
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COCKTAILS SPECIAL
Las Iguanas Las Iguanas compliment their South American menu by serving up all the classic Latin cocktails. These include the traditional Brazilian cocktail Caipirinha, using their own Cachaça, and the minty Mojito, which they are offering two for the price of one to Latest 7 readers. (Simply present a copy of this magazine when ordering. Offer valid until 28 February.)
LAS IGUANAS MOJITO Ingredients 35ml Havana Especial rum 10–12 fresh mint leaves Half a fresh lime, in 4 chunks 2 tsp caster sugar 1tsp gomme Soda water Method Using a tall glass, add mint, lime, sugar and gomme, and muddle well until the ingredients look like cooked spinach. Stand a long spoon in the glass and half fill with crushed ice. Add the rum, then use the spoon to mix well making sure the sugar is dissolved. Add a little more ice and then top with soda water. Garnish with a sprig of mint. Las Iguanas, 7–8 Jubilee Street, North Laine, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk
Feeling Romantic? Be part of Latest 7’s Valentine’s Special and let our 100,000 readers know what you have to offer Call Rachel now on 01273 818150 ext 105
019_LS459_food
1/21/10
3:02 PM
Page 1
ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 19
Food & Drink Andrew Kay finds yet one more reason not to eat meat at Aloka Quality Of Life Centre
There are peas I
was strangely drawn to Aloka from the minute they turned on the lights and those sexy bottles of coloured liquid started to glow. I had not a clue what it was all about, though, and it was a while before a good friend dragged me in and, over lunch, started to explain. The easy bit is that it is a therapy centre. They offer a wide range of treatments but central to what they do is the Aura-Soma concept. It’s the one connected to those very sexy coloured liquids and my failure to grasp what it is all about leads to me ending up having a consultation. It’s an extraordinary process – I think I am in there for about forty minutes but when I return to my friend I discover that I have been in there for two hours.
“There are spicy dishes and cool salads, tiny tarts and breadcrumbed delights” It was an amazingly cathartic process and I felt a sense of calm and relief afterwards. I cannot explain why, I don’t care why, I just know that it made me feel better in myself. But as well as a day spa, treatments, the colour thing and a range of beautiful crystals, Aloka has a café. Which is why I am here really. The system, which I have encountered only once before in London, is unusual. Let me explain. You take a plate, choose your food from the buffet and then have your plate weighed. Yes, you pay for what you eat by weight.
At the buffet there are lots of choices, from delicious fresh salads to hot dishes, nuts and seeds and dressings to sprinkle on top too. I work my way around the counter choosing carefully. I do become conscious that I am considering the relative weight of each dish. Is the tomato salad heavier and therefore more expensive than that delicious quinoa? In the end I give up and simply choose things that I like the look of, and there are no shortage of them. There are spicy dishes and cool salads, tiny tarts and breadcrumbed delights. I am relieved to say the least. I had a nagging suspicion that this might be health food of the old school. It may well be healthy but not at the expense of being delicious. It turns out to not be expensive either, despite me having rather a full plate. For once I am going to refrain from listing what I ate, partly because there were too many dishes to choose from but also because the chef and his team make everything fresh and depending on what is in season. It’s the way I shop and cook myself, so I am impressed. After my main course I am tempted to try the ice creams, which are vegan. I am a recent convert to soya milk in cooking and would heartily recommend it when making soups. That said, when my ice creams arrive I am told that they have been made, not with soya but with ground cashew nuts. They are so completely delicious, and packed with flavour, that I finish off rather more than I should and end up with eye ache from the cold. Despite this, when I pop in a few weeks later I do not even hesitate at trying the new flavours available – I can see a serious addiction starting here. As well as the café on the ground level they also have a very beautiful private dining room for parties. It’s a calm space but not a pious one and the availability of organic wines, beers and ciders is a clear indication that this level of spirituality does not preclude having a jolly good time. The chef is a very committed sort of chap but one with whom I find an immediate bond through a mutual passion for great food. He may choose not to cook or eat meat, but his dedication to great cooking is obvious and the food that I have eaten at Aloka is evidence of that. It’s a relaxed way of eating in the café, and the staff are charming and attentive too. I can see myself holed up in a corner with a book and an ice cream, quite often. Aloka Quality Of Life Centre, 14 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HP, 01273 823178.
Have you visited Aloka yet? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
follow me on twitter
latestandrew
020_LS459_Hotlist
1/22/10
9:47 AM
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20 HOTLIST
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset
in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Twocourse menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese
Chimney House
Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Fat Leo
This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
L’Église
Sabai Thai Gastrobar
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Metrodeco Metrodeco is Brighton’s only 1930s tea salon and art deco furniture shop. One of Kemp Town's newest venues, this Parisian-style cafe has already gained a big reputation for its cream teas, home-baked cakes, sandwiches and bespoke blends. But the real gourmet treat is their delightful afternoon tea. Take time to browse the basement floor of beautiful furnishings and gifts. Party bookings taken and dogs welcome. Metrodeco, 38 Upper St James’s St. BN2 1JN. 07956 978115, www.metro-deco.com
Italian Donatello
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix
New Steine Bistro
L’Église
Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Thai
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
bali brasserie - valentines
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St Valentine's Dinner Dance with Live Music A Romantic Evening with a Tropical Glow THE INTRODUCTION Sup Rasa Sayang – An exotic hot & sour chicken & vegetable soup with a hint of coconut served with giant Javanese prawn crackers ••••••••••••••• THE OVERTURES Satay Ayam – The famous char-grilled chicken delicacy of the Far East served with garnish and spicy peanut sauce ••••••••••••••• THE HEART OF THE MATTER We invite our customers to help themselves from our delightful hot buffet:
Keripik – Peanuts and potato crisps in a dry caramel sauce of chilli, onion, peppers and lemon grass Indonesian Salad – Mixed salad in a light dressing Nasi Kuning – Saffron rice Accompaniment – Sambal Blacan hot chilli shrimp paste ••••••••••••••• LOVER’S NEST Mango & mascarpone cheesecake served on a bed of mango coulis OR fresh kiwi, melon, grapes served in a tropical liqueur with cream OR passion fruit sorbet ••••••••••••••• A COSY FINISH – Coffee with mints
Daging Tiram – Beef cooked in oyster sauce with ginger and green peppers
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Udang Sambal – King prawns in a spicy tomato and red pepper sauce with a hint of coconut
£19.95 + 10% service
Ayam Kari – Boneless breast of chicken in a distinctive Malaysian style curry sauce
A fish or vegetarian version of this menu is available
Kachang Mera Gulai – Red kidney beans in a delicate coconut sauce flavoured with limeleaves and lemon grass Sajur Tumis – Seasonal stir-fry of mixed vegetables Mee Goreng – Soft noodles fried with egg and vegetables
www.balibrasserie.co.uk
Open 7 days a week for lunch 12.30–2.00pm and dinner 6.30–10.30pm/11.00pm Friday/Saturday
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STAGE 22
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February>
Trouble in paradise
Stage
Choreographer Arthur Pita brings his own, fado-enhanced twist to the tale of The Prodigal Son in God’s Garden
T
he volcanic paradise island of Madeira provides the setting for God’s Garden, the intriguing new dance piece from awardwinning Portuguese choreographer Arthur Pita. But the story, based on the parable of the Prodigal Son and tightly woven with themes of denial and celebration, death and sexuality, love and betrayal, is one of all-too-human failings. “The parable of The Prodigal Son is a subject that has been a constant theme in my life,” says the South African-born Pita, who studied dance in Johannesburg, trained for a Masters at London Contemporary Dance School, and now runs his own company, Open Heart Productions. “I empathise with it deeply. Being an immigrant I feel urged to express the complex sentiments of returning home and reuniting with the family. Whilst the inspiration for the piece is personal, I feel its themes are universal.” In God's Garden, the ‘prodigal son’ is the golden boy of the Costa family. Under pressure to commit to a marriage he knows he can’t face, he flees on his wedding day to sow his wild oats – leaving his faithful bride to cry buckets of tears. When he eventually returns to his family, it is to discover that forgiveness and celebration may be all very well, but his jilted bride will have her revenge. Performed by a cast of six dancers, the new piece combines
the elemental forces – earth, fire, water and air – with the colour and vitality of Madeira’s folklore and the traditional and plaintive Portugese song form of fado, performed live. Set and costumes are by Royal Opera House regular and
>31 Jan, 3pm, £12–£28
Stagelistings > Tuesday 26 January to Monday 8 February > BRIGHTON DOME, CONCERT HALL 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Walton: Suite from Henry V, Gordon Jacob: Trombone Concert, Dvorák: Symphony No 8 >31 Jan, 2.45pm, £8–£32 BRIGHTON DOME, CORN EXCHANGE 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org God’s Garden Portuguese choreographer Arthur Pita presents a new full-length dance theatre work. >15-16 Feb, 8pm, £10–£15 BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 390 004 www.the-little.co.uk A Murder is Announced Agatha Christie’s classic thriller, adapted by Lesley Darbon >1–6 February, 7.45pm, £7.50 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE,
acclaimed designer Jean-Marc Puissant, with lighting from the award-winning Natasha Chivers. “This is a personal piece set in the village of Porto Moniz, Madeira, where my family come from,” says Pita. “The island of Madeira has been described as God's Garden, strongly rooted in Catholicism, rich in water and vegetation and safe from the troubles of the world. “In contrast, I have discovered another side to this paradise island. It has its dark secrets and mystery and the people of Madeira, joyous as they are, seem to
MINERVA STUDIO 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Calendar Girls Back at Chichester Festival Theatre after a successful tour and West End run. Based on the true story of the WI women who sparked a global phenomenon by posing naked for a charity calendar. Stars Lynda Bellingham and Hannah Waterman. >27 Jan–6 Feb, 7.30pm, 2pm matinee Saturday & Tuesday, £11.50–£32.50 EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk London Philharmonic Orchestra Debussy, La Mer, Saint-Saëns, Piano Concerto 2, Bizet Symphony in C. Fabien Gabel conductor, Bertrand Chamayou piano.
NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk The Tragedian: Part III Final part of Prodigal’s award-winning Trilogy, revealing the last tragic chapters in the life of ‘the first trans-Atlantic superstar’, actor Edmund Kean. >4 Feb, 9.30pm, £8.50 Adolf Pip Utton’s one-man show, set in the Fuhrer’s bunker, Berlin 1945. >5 Feb, 7pm, £8.50 Bacon Pip Utton’s one-man show about controversial artist Francis Bacon. >5 Feb, 7pm, £8.50 Chaplin Pip Utton’s one-man show about the actor/comedian. >5 Feb, 7pm, £8.50 THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Present Laughter Noel Coward's classic
Arthur Pita
carry a darkness within them. The balance between paradise and darkness intrigues me.” Pita’s previous commissions include Snow White In Black (National Dance Award for Modern Repertory) and Mischief (TMA award for Achievement in Dance), and he has worked with everyone from the Royal Shakespeare Company to the Lithuanian State Opera. God's Garden, Monday 15 to Tuesday 16 February, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org
comedy set in the glamorous world of theatre, starring Robert Bathhurst. >25–30 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £13–£28 Count Arthur Strong: The Man Behind The Smile Biggest Brighton show to date for the cult spoof raconteur and Radio 4 star. >1 Feb, 7.30pm, £18. Rambert Dance Company: The Comedy Of Change New work commemorating Charles Darwin year and scored by British composer Julian Anderson. >3–6 Feb, 7.30pm, 2pm matinee Thu, 2.30pm matinee Sat, £11–£27 WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE, 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The 39 Steps Alfred Hitchcock’s classic spy thriller. >1–6 Feb, 730pm, 2pm matinee Wed 2.30pm matinee Sat, £13–£22
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EVENTS | ART 23
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
HOLOCAUAST MEMORIAL DAY
Precious
The 65th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz–Birkenau take place on 27 January and, to mark this occasion, multiple Holocaust Memorial exhibitions and commemorations will be held across Sussex. Worthing are commemorating the day with Legacy Of Hope, an event combining speeches, a screening of the award-winning documentary film Paper Clips and prayers by the Memorial Tree in Beach House Grounds. The University of Sussex are hosting their annual Holocaust Memorial Day service, with a lecture by Freddie Knoller entitled 'Living with the Enemy: My Secret Life on the Run from the Nazis', and a screening of the film Daring to Resist: Three Women Face the Holocaust. Slightly further afield, the Imperial War Museum in London is opening a free exhibition, which displays artefacts and personal memoirs from both the survivors and the victims of the Holocaust. However, due to the sensitive nature of the theme, this exhibition is not recommended for children under 14 and children under 11 are not permitted. See www.visitsussex.org, www.sussex.ac.uk and www.london.iwm.org.uk for more details
Events highlights THURSDAY 28
SATURDAY 30–SUNDAY 31 JANUARY
Sussex Food and Drink Awards Limited tickets available for the Sussex foodie event of the year. After a Sussex-produced, five course meal,Danny Pike of BBC Sussex hosts the awards. East Sussex Golf Resort and Spa, contact Ali West on 01273 857242 or visit www.sussexfoodawards.com/awards_dinner.php for more details
Brighton Film Workshops Brighton Media Centre is opening its doors to any budding producer/directors this January with courses on Documentary (Sat) and How to Make and Sell Your First Film (Sun). Brighton Media Centre Film Studio, 15–17 Middle Street, Brighton. Each workshop £100/£90 for students, 10am–5pm. Email info@altofilms.com
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SATURDAY 30 Worthing’s Outdoor Ice Rink After last year’s success, Worthing welcomes the return of a real ice rink in Steyne Gardens. The Steyne, Worthing. Call 01903 222934 or visit www.worthingicerink.co.uk for more details
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SATURDAY 30–SUNDAY 31 Brighton Tattoo Convention More than 150 International Artists, traders, displays, exhibitions and much more. Artists email info@blackheartuk.com, tickets available from website at www.brightontattoo.com, Saturday 12am–12pm, Sunday 12am–8pm
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SUNDAY 31 Art Junky Unique one day flea market with unlimited items with a certain artistic flair. From quirky jewellery to one-off handbags and mulled cider or wine in the Art Junky Cafe, this is one indoor market not to be missed! 10-14 Waterloo Place, Brighton. 11am–5pm. Contact Clare at clare@phoenixbrighton.org or call 01273 603700 to book a stall.
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BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989
Dine for
£10
2 courses & a glass of wine
To advertise here costs only £20 Call Rachel Bryant now!
OR
25% off total food bill from A La Carte Menu Terms and conditions: Excludes Saturdays and Bank Holidays. 1 voucher for up to 6 people. BRING THIS VOUCHER. Please book in advance.
01273 818150 ext 105
Andrew Mockett: Baboon
Hove Museum and Art Gallery have commissioned 10 artists to create fresh pieces and nine artists to exhibit existing work for new exhibition Precious: Reclaiming Art And Craft, making art out of overlooked and discarded objects and materials such as waste paper, fabrics, computer parts and drink cans. Precious: Reclaiming Art And Craft, Hove Museum And Art Gallery, New Church Road, 01273 290900. 30 January–23 May
Quaker Tapestry Created by 4000 people in 15 countries, the Quaker Tapestry is one of the world’s largest community projects and comprises 77 embroidered panels, 39 of which will travel to Brighton from their permanent home in Kendal. Each panel was created in the narrative crewel embroidery style of the Bayeux Tapestry. Quaker Tapestry, Friends Meeting House, Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 770258. 30 January–27 February
Transmission Bringing together four artists who each share a particular interest in communication as the creative process of interpretaion, Transmission is about the interpretation of one’s words, the translation of a text, or a reading and understanding of the world. What lies hidden behind the immediacy of signs? Transmission, The Grey Area, 31 Queens Road, Brighton, 0773 503 794. Until 31 January
Polyarnye Nochi An extension of Simon Robert’s Motherland project. Polyarnye Nochi (Polar Nights) is a photographic exploration of contemporary Russian society, focusing on winter in northern Russia, which is often shrouded in darkness nearly 24 hours a day, and the miracle of civilisation in these arctic conditions. Last chance to see! Polyarnye Nochi, Crane Kalman, Kensington Gardens 01273 697096. Until 7 February
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
>highlight
FRIDAY 29
TUESDAY 26
AUDIO Battlejam. Genre erasing, maverick turntablism and live D'n'B. 11pm–4am, £8/5 BRIGHTON COALITION Kill 'Em All. Hold onto your print wellies, its goin' to get wild. With Boy 8-Bit and Filthy Dukes. 10.30pm–3.30am, £8 DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll. 11pm–3am, £4 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Drink, Dance, Repeat. 11pm–4am, £5/3 HONEY CLUB Hed Kandi Presents...Pure Kandi. Glamtastic, Kandified, pumping house and party trax. 10.30pm, £10/8 JAM Don't Stop Believing. Pop and indie guilty pleasures. 11pm–3am, free NEW HERO Somewhere In The Universe. Leading alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5 PAVILLION TAVERN KOTJ. Loud, dirty rock ‘n’ roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Autopsy. Darkside D'n'B with Phace, Rockwell and Khanage. 11pm-5am, £5
Laura Veirs Acclaimed country singer-songwriter from the US. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £12.50 Party On The Beach Fundraiser: AMiTY + Tudo Bem Fundraiser with all profits going to Kenyan children’s charity Miele. Concorde 2, 7pm, £5 Sons Of Noel And Adrian + Alessi’s Ark + O Emperor Acoustic folk featuring ex-Hope Of The States violinist Mike Siddell. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £7 Violet Violet Riot grrl band hailing from Norwich. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6
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THE UNDERGROUND REBEL BINGO CLUB This is no place to be flashing spanking new blue rinses or discussing your granddaughter’s sexuality! It’s a late night dirty secret full of loud indie/electro, shouting, dancing and rampant life art in the medium of human bodies and pen ink, plus the chance to win ‘sick’ prizes. It’s The Underground Rebel Bingo Club! The movement has bounced everywhere and yet nowhere in London Taaan, sharing a bill with the likes of Basement Jaxx and Little Boots, and now they tunnel into the biggest party city of the whole of Blighty! So keep it schtum and if you don’t like loud noises, don’t go! Wednesday 27 January, Concorde 2
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SATURDAY 30 TUESDAY 26 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Dust off your disco shoes and polish up your disco balls... 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–2.30am, free b4 11, £3/2 after PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free
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WEDNESDAY 27 AUDIO Supercharged. With Joker, slamming unrelentless purple beats in our ears since ‘08. 11pm–2.30am, £6/4 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 CONCORDE 2 The Underground Rebel Bingo Club. 10.30pm–3am, £8/3 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and a squeeze of chart tracks. 11pm–3am, £1
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THURSDAY 28 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/2 DIGITAL Thursday Club with Subsplash. Presenting the latex face of dub overlord, Stenchman! 11pm–3.30am, £5 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Bang Bang. Hip-hop, dub step and D’n’B! 9pm–3.30am HONEY CLUB Fusion. Six DJs, three rooms of R’n’B, indie and house. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. A sweat box of ‘50s R’n’B and original Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3
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AL DUOMO Muzika*. A glamtastic night of debauchery with an outrageous orgy of top notch house! 10.30pm–4am, £7/4 AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Xpress 2 & Skint Records Release Party. 11pm–4am, £10/8 Followed by DPM. 3am–8am, £7/4 CONCORDE 2 Devotion Feat. Roni Size. The big beat brand is back with another monster line-up of Roni Size and Dillinja. 11pm–4am, £10 DIGITAL Shades Rave. Does as it says on the tin. 11pm–4am, £10/7 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA Da Doo Ron Ron. Beatles (female) Cover Version Special. Girltastic grooviness from the ‘50s to mid-’70s. 11pm, £6/5 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 VOLKS Psyence. Funkin' massive night of psytrance. 11pm–9am, £7/5
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WEDNESDAY 27 Choir of Young Believers Folksy indie-pop from Copenhagen. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6.50 Japanese Voyeurs A particularly heavy take on the ‘90s grunge sound from London. Audio, 7.30pm, £6 Rootie Tootie: The Crucks + Danni Nicholls with Nick Funke + Amy Hill A night of Americana and country music. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £2 Speakyourheart + Tall Ships + Wilson Fisk + Let’s Talk Daggers Eastbourne emo rock. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
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Shackleton Dubstep mixed with electronica. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6 The Curst Sons Quality Brighton-based bluegrass band. The Brunswick, 9pm, £tbc The Funky Buddha Band Contemporary funk and soul covers including James Brown, Stevie Wonder, Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5
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SATURDAY 30 Miike Snow Infectious Swedes responsible for last summer's disco-pop anthem, ‘Animal’. Digital, 7.30pm, £7 Tom Paxton Veteran of the ’60s Greenwich Village folk revival and acclaimed protest singer. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £20
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SUNDAY 31 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert featuring music from Walton, Gordon Jacob and Dvorak, with a performance from the BBC Young Musician of the Year. Brighton Dome, 2.45pm, £8-32 David Bazan + Postdata Narrative songwriting frontman of Pedro The Lion. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc Sing-Along-A-Sandwich On A Sunday Workshop For those who love singing but don’t have time to commit to a choir. Brighton Dome 11am–4pm, £20 Tattoo Convention Aftershow Live music, DJs, burlesque show and more for the tattooed fraternity. Concorde 2, 8pm, £8/free with convention pass
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THURSDAY 28 The Jo Harman Project + Cordelia Fellowes + Bruise Soulful, bluesy, hedonistic and oddly romantic vocalist headlines. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6 The Lovely Brothers + Phil Jayes Cabaret performance compared to Madness and The Mighty Boosh, with the Morrissey and Brel-inspired tragicomedy of Jayes. Komedia 8pm, £5
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FRIDAY 29 Beat Redemption Brighton Launch Party: Kode 9 + Jazzsteppa + Cooly G Club night aiming to recreate the festival vibe. With live acoustic music, silly activities, chill-out areas and more. Concorde 2, 10.30pm, £8 Brighton Jazz Club: Stan Tracey Trio Weekly gathering of musos and jazz-loving locals. Komedia, 8pm, £15/12
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MONDAY 1 Stafraenn Hakon Another Icelandic post-rock act blending in elements of electronica. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6 These New Puritans Bloody great Southend electro-terrorists mixing nasty synth drones with nu-rave (though actually good) beats. Audio, 7pm, £11
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SUNDAY 31 BRIGHTON COALITION Frequency. Delivering a range of house/breaks/electro. 10pm, free HONEY CLUB Spectrum. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1
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Nick Aldwinckle
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MONDAY 1 FEBRUARY AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free LIFE AKA AKA ROAR. Digging out the sounds from the full dub-step spectrum, past and future. 10pm–2.30am, £2 b4 12
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These New Puritans
Jaime Pettit
tues 2 feb
fri 5 feb
up yours to the festival! brian and jerry bring their radio show to a live audience 7.30pm, £4/3
the debut + the meakins + 84mm + baghdad country club + garielle alpin + fine young firecrackers + hobbie stuart 6pm–9.30pm, £3
wed 3 feb
later on...frockabilly brighton’s queer run, straight friendly 1950s themed club night! 10pm–2am, £5
the stanley blacks + fraser 8pm, £3
thurs 4 feb jesca hoop + caroline weeks www.myspace.com/jescahoop 8pm, £8
manchester street, brighton tel.
sun 7 feb armen a band fronted by carmen pascucci, more acts tbc
8pm, £4 mon 8 feb see website for details
tues 9 feb
sat 6 feb private party book your private party, wedding or anniversary today
01273 687171
call 01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk
rizzle kicks + the last carnival 8pm, £4/2
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
025_LS459_musichighlights_news
1/22/10
3:19 PM
Page 1
MUSIC 25
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
JAPANESE VOYEURS This London noise quintet are making waves with their somewhat dumb-ass blasts of Mudhoney meets The Pixies grunge, made enticing by the girly lead vocals (think Kim Deal). Their new double A-side single ‘That Love Sound’/’Blush’ is the follow up to their debut EP Sicking And Creaming. I think we get the picture... Wednesday 27 January, Audio
With Jeff Hemmings
JUSTIN ADAMS & JULDEH CAMARA Fusing early rock’n’roll with the sounds of Gambia, Justin Adams and Juldeh Camara create Clash-style punk energy fused to West African trance rhythms. The celebrated Griot (storyteller) and co-founder of group Invaders Of The Heart with Jah Wobble, Camara plays a single string violin (riti) which sounds like a blues harp one minute and a Celtic fiddle the next. Friday 29 January, The Old Market
THE PERILS These Brighton hopefuls, who pack a melodic punch within their classic indie sound, are deserving of bigger things in 2010. Their debut album Good People Do Bad Things was one of the best things to come out of Brighton last year. Support comes from Avondale 45 and electo-popsters Kovak. Friday 29 January, Jam
The Perils
STAFRÆNN HÁKON The band of Icelander Ólafur Josephsson (their name means Digital Hákon in Icelandic), who has been making music under this name in his home studio since 1999, releasing three albums in his home country, before finding outlets here in the UK and the world. Mixing post-rock, lo-fi, ambient guitar and electronica, his mesmerizing and seamlessly interwoven textures have won him a cult following. Monday 1 February, Prince Albert
RAMBLIN’ ON
From hanging out with Dylan to a House of Commons tribute, Tom Paxton’s life has ranged as broadly as his subject matter
W
e all know Bob Dylan of course – still going strong, albeit drifting off recently into the unedifying world of Christmas songs. But many of his contemporaries have also achieved legendary status over the years, including Phil Ochs, Eric Andersen and Tom Paxton, all of whom were part of the Greenwich scene in the early ’60s, the epicenter of the US folk revival. “Our home base was a coffee house – The Gaslight,” says Tom, from his home base of Alexandria, Virginia. “It’s where many of us earned our wings. One of our group was Bill Cosby – you may have heard of him! It was his first gig as a comedian. It was an exciting place; we were all learning our craft, and sometimes we would play six or seven times a night. One night Dylan sang a new composition, ‘Gates Of Eden’, in my ear... It was competitive and supportive at the same time.” Paxton’s songs have been covered by a number of artists over the years including Joan Baez, John Denver, Simon & Garfunkel, Johnny Cash and The Pogues, and the likes of ‘Bottle Of Wine’, ‘Whose Garden Was This?’ and ‘Ramblin’ Boy’ have found enduring appeal. In fact, Paxton is cited ahead of Dylan as the founder of the so-called New Song Movement, having found that his own songs were getting more attention than the traditional numbers. Influenced heavily by Woody Guthrie, Paxton developed a love of storytelling armed with just an acoustic guitar and a fiercely independent mind.
Friday 12th March £15
CONCORDE 2 Doors 7pm Show 7.30pm
www.concorde2.co.uk
01273 673311
“Woody was fearless; he’d take on an issue that got him stirred up...” says Paxton, who is now 72. And ever since those Greenwich days Paxton has wholeheartedly immersed himself in causes that promote human, civil and labour rights, writing about a wide range of topics current at the time. In recent years he’s written songs about the massacre of Bosnian Muslims (‘On The Road To Srebrenica’), the firefighters at the scene of the Twin Towers (‘The Bravest’) and even John and Lorena Bobbitt of the infamous severed-penis mystery (‘Bobbitt’). The UK holds a special place in Paxton’s heart – he even lived in London for a few years back in the ‘70s. “The support I’ve had in the UK has been inhuman, really wonderful and supportive. I first came over in April 1965 with my wife Midge. We had a few folk clubs lined up, but when we were here the offers came pouring in and we ended up staying another month! I’ve played here every year since then.” The House of Commons even honoured Paxton with an official tribute back in 2007, followed up by a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award last year. “My life has mellowed but my politics have not. When we watch TV news I still get outraged at the right-wing hysteria.” Tom Paxton, Saturday 30 January, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome
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026_LS459_comedy/gay
26
1/21/10
2:57 PM
Page 2
COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
> Tuesday 26 January to Monday 1 February >
OFF THE CUFF/THE MAYDAYS
TUESDAY 26
I
mprovisational comedy can split an audience; as a genre you either love it or hate it. Luckily, here in Brighton we have some of the best improv groups around, so no one need be put off unnecessarily. In fact, everyone can be sure of a darn good time, whatever flavour of improvisation you’re after. Two very different improv groups are performing this weekend, and both have been recognised by award panels over the years. On Saturday you can catch Off The Cuff, mixing traditional improvising games you may remember from Who’s Line Is It Anyway? with some new ones you won’t know but that will make you howl with laughter. Asking for audience suggestions without provoking that ‘first day of school, compulsory participation’ feeling, this lot are friendly, professional and a great laugh – perfect for letting loose that weekly build up of work tension. Sunday sees a performance by the satirical Maydays, an internationally acclaimed group who take the day’s newspaper and use it for inspiration, with scenes unfolding and songs springing up. If you want to join in at a later date, they even run workshops (see www.themaydays.co.uk for details). Off The Cuff, Upstairs At Three And Ten, Saturday 30 January, 8pm, £7/5. The Maydays, Komedia, Sunday 31 January, 8pm, £7/5.
CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH Bring the Noise. Dare to share your own MP3 playlists and chill out with your own music. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Its a mid-week mash-up throwing out ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
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WEDNESDAY 27 AMSTERDAM The Piano Bar. Mark Russell woos the crowds with his special blend of music. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Poker Night. Texas Hold’em Poker tournament! Cash prizes and more for grabs! 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Anything Goes. Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm, free R-BAR Midweek Mash Up. Electro pop to darker shades of electric vibes! 12pm–2am THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
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THURSDAY 28 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL: My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Medication Thursday. After work drinks specials plus a prescription free round of pool with each round! 1pm, free LEGENDS Absolut Karaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Dulcie Danger sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top: Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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Comedy listings TUESDAY 26 People Vs Stand-Up Comedy ‘Two for the show’ – 30 comedians, two minutes each. Bargain! The Forager, 8pm, £4/2
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THURSDAY 28 Comic Boom Monthly night of exciting new comedy without the gamble! Deadpan musical comedy from headliners Ginger And Black. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50 Sara Pascoe Vs Her Ego Sara Pascoe (TV’s The Thick Of It, Free Agents, Campus) is a very arrogant lady. Come see how brilliant she is at stand-up and find out why. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £5
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FRIDAY 29 Krater Comedy Club Award-winning comedy every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Benjamin Crellin, Pippa Evans and Tom Craine!, plus MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £14.50/10 Rabbit In The Headlights A hand-picked assembly of new and rising stand-ups take to the stage in this popular new-act night. Often hilarious, sometimes bizarre and occasionally mind-blowing! Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £6/5
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SATURDAY 30 Comedy Station A great atmosphere with local
comics, compered by Julie Jepson. Station pub (near Hove Station), 8pm, free Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 7pm, £17.50 & 10.30, £15 Laughing Horse Comedy Stand-up comedy from Kevin Shepherd, Mike Manera, Nigel Taylor, Pete Wells, Robin Buckland and Jim Holland. With resident compere Sajeela Kershi. Late Bar until 2am. The Quadrant, 8.30pm, £6/5 Off The Cuff Brighton’s brightest improvisers bring you an evening of the most exciting, unpredictable and frequently just plain mental comedy your senses will experience. No script, no safety nets, no elbow pads; only your suggestions and raw, unpasteurised wit. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5
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SUNDAY 31 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 8pm, £11/£6 The Maydays! Enter The Maydays – Brighton’s masterful, maverick, award-winning improvised comedy troupe. Every performance is inspired by newspaper articles cut out by the audience just minutes before curtain time. No tricks or gimmicks or games; this is improv as you've never seen it before! Komedia, 8pm, £7/5 Winging It Free afternoon comedy from handpicked local comics, perfect to settle into with your roast. The Albert, 3.30pm, free
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QA BIRTHDAY WEEKENDER It’s time to wheel in a voluptuous weekend-sized birthday cake! To celebrate 17 years of special events, live entertainment and karaoke, The Queen’s Arms have got a three-day platter of scrummy audio and visual delights choc full of camp classic anthems and handbag tracks wedged between oodles of sparkling cabaret! The weekend kicks off with hilarious cabaret from Kevin Cruise and DJs Andy B and Kamp Kevin dolling out the party sounds. Kitty Litter continues the celebrations, with the Boy George Experience rounding up on Sunday! 29–31 January, The Queen’s Arms
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FRIDAY 29 CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. The best bubblegum tunes, sweet camp pop and your requests. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Highlight. 12pm–1am, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop with Stacey Soloman. The diva of Dagenham wows with her Essex charm and belt out anthems! 10.30pm–5am, £7 THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop and handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
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SATURDAY 30 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls Rock On. Spinning their own selection of music by the women we love! 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Highlight. 12pm–1am, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous Pirate Party. 2 top DJs, 2 floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Viva La Divas + Booty Call. Live music up close and personal from 6pm with the lovely Em! 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents... Miss Hap. 9.30pm, free
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SUNDAY 31 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free CHARLES STREET BAR Showtime. Side-splitting cabaret from the Jo Frances 7pm, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Lola Lasagne. 3.15pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Highlight. 12pm–1am, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. Relaxing acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by Miss Jason's barmy Bingo! 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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MONDAY 1 FEBRUARY CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
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027_LS459_reviews/film
1/22/10
1:11 PM
Page 1
REVIEWS
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk WAY TO BLUE: THE SONGS OF NICK DRAKE
BRIGHTON PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA
Nick Drake’s songs are deceptively simple, full of lapping time signatures, awkward tunings and melodies that darken and lighten as suddenly as a cloudy summer’s day. At this Joe Boyd-curated tribute a motley assortment of vocalists tried them on for size, from the great psychedelic fop Robyn Hitchcock to perennial rabbit in the headlights Vashti Bunyan, while bass legend Danny Thompson and jazz pianist Zoe Rahman headed the band. The show stealers were those who imposed their own distinctive energy: Krystle Warren smouldering through ‘Time Has Told Me’, Lisa Hannigan driving a blues-churned ‘Black Eyed Dog’ with squeezebox and boot. As Boyd said, dedicating the night to Robert Kirby and Kate McGarrigle, people are ephemeral, music eternal. Brighton Dome, 21 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Bella Todd
Never mind the massed forces of the full Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra, Brighton Festival Chorus and four distinguished soloists in an all-Beethoven programme, this afternoon belonged to the woodwinds, brass players and the timpanist. From the first few bars of the Egmont Overture through to the exhilarating whirlwind of the Choral Presto of the Ninth Symphony, it was the crisp brilliance of horns, trumpets, trombones and woodwind that sang over a packed auditorium, thrilling the sell-out audience. This was Beethoven that danced and sparkled and shouted under the baton of Barry Wordsworth, and I suspect that Beethoven himself could hear it. Brighton Dome, 17 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Louise Schweitzer
battlefield comes through strongly in Spike Milligan’s dramatised war memoirs. There is no sense to it, and that, combined with shell shock, is what demonstrably pushed Milligan to the brink and led to his future mental instability. However, the journey is wondrous, a real treat for any fan of Spike’s writings with songs and skits formatted as an army show with fantastic performances from all – especially Shilto Morgan playing Spike in his professional debut. A nod must also go to the brilliant stage. I left grinning and singing my heart out. Theatre Royal Brighton, 18 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
DELPHIC AND MIRRORS Superb Brighton-based support band, Mirrors, truly captured the early ‘80s synth-pop sound on new single ‘Into The Heart’ and their closing anthem, ‘Hide And Seek’. The massively hyped Delphic had much to live up to but the sell-out crowd was with them all the way. With minimum chat, the Mancunians were confident enough to play new single ‘Doubt’ early in the set. Their modern take on indie rave and the darker side of electro
SPIKE MILLIGAN’S ADOLF HITLER: MY PART IN HIS DOWNFALL
27
shone through on ‘Red Lights’ and an extended workout of future club classic ‘This Momentary’. They will be huge. Audio, 19 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements
HTRK Pronounced ‘Haterock’, this inexplicably Australian trio’s name says it all. Decidedly not rock, HTRK use distorted guitar and synth atmospherics combined with the bleak, defeated vocals and frustrated maraca percussion of frontwoman Jonnine Standish to conjure dark, dense shoegaze soundscapes. Highlights include single, ‘Ha’, and striking – occasionally melodic – tracks from debut album, Marry Me Tonight, as the fusion of indie credibility and irresistible rhythm triumphed. Like Kevin Shields on an ill-fated date with the Cocteau Twins, this selfconsciously hip (though that’s forgiven, given the music’s quality) band’s short set was a majestic, spellbinding trip from the ether to the gutter. Freebutt, 20 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
The madness of war on a nonsensical
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000 www.cineworld.co.uk
www.picturehouses.co.uk
www.odeon.co.uk
01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 26
TUESDAY 26
TUESDAY 26
TUESDAY 26
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.50, 2.50, 4.50 Avatar 3D (12A) 2.50, 8.30 Avatar 2D (12A) 5.45 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.45, 3.45, 6.30, 9.15 Brothers (15) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Daybreakers (15) 7.00 Fish Tank (15)9.30 It’s Complicated (15) 2.30, 5.00, 7.45 Nine (12A) 2.00, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.15, 5.15, 8.15 Toy Story 2 in 3D (U) 12.40, 6.15 Up In The Air (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.15
A Prophet (18) 3.30 (Silver Screen), 9.00 Seraphine (PG) 11.00am (Silver Screen) Up In The Air (15) 1.30 (Silver Screen), 6.30
It’s Complicated (15) 8.00 Avatar (12A) 7.00
A Prophet (18) 3.30, 9.00 Up In The Air (15) 1.00, 6.30
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00, 6.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.50, 12.50, 3.30, 4.30, 7.10, 8.10 The Book Of Eli (15) 3.20, 8.40 Daybreakers (15) 9.00 It’s Complicated (15) 12.30, 6.10 A Prophet (18) 1.40, 5.05, 8.20 The Road (15) 1.10, 8.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 11.40, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 Toy Story 2 in 3D (U) 12.10, 2.20, 4.40, 6.50 Up In The Air (15) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.50
FRIDAY 29
WEDNESDAY 27
An American Werewolf In London (15) 11.15pm Precious (15) 4.00, 9.00
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00, 6.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.50, 12.50, 3.30, 4.30, 7.10, 8.10 The Book Of Eli (15) 3.20, 8.40 Daybreakers (15) 9.00 It’s Complicated (15) 12.30, 6.10 A Prophet (18) 1.40, 5.05, 8.20 The Road (15) 1.10, 8.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 11.40, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 Toy Story 2 in 3D (U) 12.10, 2.20, 4.40, 6.50 Up In The Air (15) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.50
WEDNESDAY 27 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.50, 2.50, 4.50 Avatar 3D (12A) 2.50, 8.30 Avatar 2D (12A) 5.45 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.45, 3.45, 9.15 Brothers (15) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Daybreakers (15) 7.00, 9.30 It’s Complicated (15) 2.30, 5.00, 7.45 Nine (12A) 2.00, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.15, 5.15, 8.15 Toy Story 2 in 3D (U) 12.40, 6.15 Up In The Air (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.15
WEDNESDAY 27 A Prophet (18) 3.30, 9.00 Up In The Air (15) 11.00am (Big Scream), 1.00, 6.30
THURSDAY 28
SATURDAY 30 NT Live: Nation 1.45 Precious (15) 8.00, 10.15 Stardust (PG) 11.00am (Kids’ Club)
SUNDAY 31 Precious (15) 4.00, 9.00
MONDAY 1 Precious (15) 4.00, 9.00
THURSDAY 28
THURSDAY 28 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00, 6.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.50, 12.50, 3.30, 4.30, 7.10, 8.10 The Book Of Eli (15) 3.20, 8.40 Daybreakers (15) 9.00 It’s Complicated (15) 12.30, 6.10 A Prophet (18) 1.40, 5.05, 8.20 The Road (15) 1.10, 8.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 11.40, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 Toy Story 2 in 3D (U) 12.10, 2.20, 4.40, 6.50 Up In The Air (15) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.50
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.50, 2.50, 4.50 Avatar 3D (12A) 2.50, 8.30 Avatar 2D (12A) 5.45 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.45, 3.45, 6.30, 9.15 Brothers (15) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Daybreakers (15) 7.00, 9.30 The Invention Of Lying (12A)10.30am It’s Complicated (15) 2.30, 5.00, 7.45 Nine (12A) 2.00, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.15, 5.15, 8.15 Toy Story 2 in 3D (U) 10.45, 12.40, 6.15 Up In The Air (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.15
WEDNESDAY 27 It’s Complicated (15) 8.00 Avatar (12A) 7.00
THURSDAY 28 It’s Complicated (15) 8.00 Avatar (12A) 7.00
FRIDAY 29 Edge Of Darkness (15) 5.15, 8.00 Nowhere Boy (15) 5.35, 8.30
SATURDAY 30 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.30, 2.45 Edge Of Darkness (15) 2.30, 5.15, 8.00 Nowhere Boy (15) 5.35, 8.30
SUNDAY 31 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.30, 2.45 Edge Of Darkness (15) 5.15, 8.00 Nowhere Boy (15) 5.35, 8.30
MONDAY 1 Midnight Cowboy (18) 2.00 Edge Of Darkness (15) 2.30, 8.00
Films showing Friday 29–Monday 1 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Films showing Friday 29–Monday 1 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
The Book of Eli
Daybreakers
028_LS459_Sports/TV_Column
26
1/21/10
2:52 PM
Page 2
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
L7 TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
26 JANUARY –1 FEBRUARY
Telly Talk
On Your Marks Tony Marks on football’s sissy response to snow
With Victoria Nangle
I
Character assassination
t’s official, the world of football has gone soft! The fixture list was decimated by the snow, with only two games in the Premier League going ahead over the weekend of 9-10 January, despite perfectly playable pitches. I live by Preston Park, and have enjoyed the picturesque views from my flat. The white blanket and glistening trees brought a warmth to my heart in otherwise freezing conditions. However, once football matches start to get called off because of it, I lose my rag! And it’s not like these matches couldn’t have gone on. Okay, maybe in the lower leagues it’s unfair to ask footballers to play on frozen surfaces, but games being postponed in the top flight where they have undersoil heating? Do me a favour! In America’s NFL, there are teams in the northern “In America, volunteers states who never cancel fixtures because of ice, turn up at the stadiums even though they suffer with shovels and clear from cold temperatures that we can’t even begin the snow themselves” to imagine. The clubs call upon up to a thousand fans who volunteer to turn up at the stadiums with shovels and clear the snow themselves so that the games can happen. So why can’t we do the same thing? In the run up to ‘Snow weekend’, Arsenal were due to play Bolton at the Emirates, and a win would have taken them to within a point of Chelsea at the top of the table. The match was then cancelled as the icy conditions outside the stadium were considered unsafe for the public. Surely the Gunners could have worked with Islington Council and arranged for a large group of fans, under supervision, to clear the streets. With so much at stake they wouldn’t struggle to find enough fans desperate to get the game on. Especially in a city that was once world famous for it’s ‘Blitz Spirit’. The Liverpool vs Spurs game was pulled a massive 48 hours before kick off. Liverpool is one of the biggest football clubs in the world, in one of the UK’s major cities, but appeared to surrender to the weather without any fight. Some conspiracy theorists have suggested that perhaps Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres were injured and the Merseysiders were happy to have it postponed. It doesn’t sound that crazy to me. West Ham vs Wolves was also called off because of safety concerns outside of Upton Park, but photographers who visited the ground at the time the game was due to kick off found that all the ice in the area had completely thawed. I interview Albion legend Gary Stevens on my radio show every Saturday, and he joked that maybe the clubs should invest in underpavement heating. After last weekend, perhaps that’s not such a bad idea. Join Tony Marks for Sport Saturday on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every Saturday afternoon from 2pm, and on the New Music Show, Monday-Thursday 7-10pm.
Bellamy’s People, BBC2 Thursday
L
et me start by saying I really wanted to like this. Utilising the not insubstantial talents of The Fast Show’s Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson (who also directs), Bellamy’s People comes off the back of the very successful radio show ‘Down The Line’. It follows fictional radio DJ Gary Bellamy (played by former Xfm DJ Rhys Thomas) as he travels the length and breadth of Britain, meeting ‘real people’ and quizzing them about their conceptions of Britishness. The programme resurrects The Fast Show’s successful format of short sharp snippets encountering a multitude of characters, with a few poignant moments thrown in for good measure and to check that we’re paying attention. Gary Bellamy’s a likeable sort and I started off laughing. They had more than the benefit of the doubt from me. But soon Bellamy’s People dissolved into what might have happened if the talent and detail of The Fast Show had been shoehorned into the broad strokes and slapstick humour of Little Britain. I wanted to hide. The characters are beautifully rendered, from the Alan Bennettesque writer living on the seafront in his late mother’s cottage to the Asian MC, keeping it real and fed up with being asked about being a Muslim in Britain. Even the scary Gary Bellamy fan club shrieking every time he mentions his girlfriend’s name, although disturbing, are believable. These aren’t all nice characters, but they all feel real, and so the send-up is closer to bullying than satire. Watching them being shown up becomes excrutiating to watch. The deft hand of the production crew doesn’t help. They’ve watched too many of this sort of programme in actuality, and the swelling music and poignant pans-away invest the
characters’ lives with more worth than the brutal and quick judgements the writing sometimes encourages us to make. Maybe that’s why this worked so well on the radio. It seems to trouble them almost as much as it troubles me. When two ‘mature’ army officers (lovingly played by Higson and Whitehouse) are being quizzed about the purpose of the British army, one admits, with a genuine elderly loss, that he doesn’t know – even asking the other for help. Eventually they both admit it’s partly excessive violence. The majority of the writing is good, subtle even. It’s the broad punchlines in each scene that sit so awkwardly, as if thumping these believable – if not always likeable – characters around the head. Watch and squirm.
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tuesday 26 Survivors BBC1, 9pm Every family has its black sheep, but when your entire brood are dark and bleating you’ve got to take what you can get in terms of familial support. Yup, the postapocalyptic misfits are limping on, searching for Abby while Greg recovers from his gunshot wound and growls at Tom. It’s better that Tom’s with us than them – ish.
Shameless Channel 4, 10pm The popular comedy drama returns, answering one question: how old is Frank? Here goes – he’s just turning 50 and he’s romancing the local librarian Libby. Did he find it a warm place to sleep and start dreaming of her? Oh, and Liam’s great grandmother Nin offers to move in, which Frank’s not keen on.
We Need Answers BBC4, 10pm The other week a think tank said this is the kind of show the BBC should stop making, accusing it of pandering to the youngsters. Well, it’s hardly The Word, as the three comics/authors inform and entertain with the unusual celebs this week being royal reporter Jenny Bond and TV presenter Rick Edwards. Original fare.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Deadly 60 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Documentary series in which Michael Portillo travels the country by train, with a copy of George Bradshaw’s Victorian Railway Guidebook. 7.00 The Great Rift: Africa’s Wild Heart Series investigating the geological forces that have shaped East Africa’s Great Rift Valley. 8.00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best Series celebrating the very best of British home cooking. There is nothing nicer than mum’s Sunday dinner and the Hairy Bikers are on a mission to champion this national triumph. 9.00 How Earth Made Us Professor Iain Stewart continues his epic exploration of how the planet has shaped human history. This time he explores our complex relationship with water. Love it in moderation. 10.00 Muslim Driving School An insight into the lives of Muslim women learner drivers, their instructors and their families. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines, presented by Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 FILM: Summer (2008) Starring Rachael Blake, Robert Carlyle. Drama. 12.40am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.10 FILM: Escape To Athena (1979) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Netbusters 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Netbusters 2.00 International Cricket 3.30 Netbusters 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Football’s Next Star 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.30am Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Sports Unlimited 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Football Asia
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sally is furious to discover that Edna believes Ashley. 7.30 The Krypton Factor Which of today’s four contestants have the brains and the brawn to win a place in the semi-finals of television’s toughest quiz? The hopefuls face four extreme tests including the dreaded assault course. Ben Shephard hosts. 8.00 Send In The Dogs Series following the UK’s police dog squad and their handlers at work. Billy the spaniel is the new sniffer on the block. He’s got a nose for trouble. Boom! Boom! 9.00 Amanda Holden’s Fantasy Lives Amanda Holden tries out some of her dream jobs in this brand new series. Today she works to become a Parisian showgirl, performing at the glitzy Lido on the Champs-Élysées, the home of the famous Bluebell Girls. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan On Las Vegas Piers Morgan returns with a show in which he gets to grips with famous locations around the world. In this edition he heads to Las Vegas. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe has a skip in her step with her new life only a plane ride away, but Kris is exhibiting signs of having cold feet. Like blue toesies. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 How To Look Good Naked... With A Difference In a three-part special of the makeover series, Gok Wan tries to improve the body confidence of disabled women. Gok meets Clare Smith, mother of three children, who is also an amputee as a result of a motorbike accident. Also, student John McFall reveals how he didn’t let the loss of his leg affect his lifestyle. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.00 Shameless See highlights. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Comedy about a group of brainy but socially clueless scientists. Sheldon teaches Leonard about football so that he can try to fit in with Penny’s friends. 11.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. Guest panelists are Gabby Logan, Johnny Vaughan, Denise Lewis and John Bishop. 12.05am Full Tilt Poker 1.10 Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.55 World Sport 4.20 Freesports On 4: Freeze 5.15 The Brain Cell 5.40 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.00 FILM: Home Fires Burning (1989) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole breaks up with Liam. Ruby and Geoff finally consummate their relationship. Aden leaves town unexpectedly. Shame. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters There is drama when one of the celebrities confesses to having smoked in the middle of the night – a revelation that causes consternation and a new wave of self-doubt among the other quitters. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs investigate a brutal murder after two office-mates plan to rob a casino. Elsewhere, Ray is forced to face up to his past in the light of his DNA results. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series. The CSIs investigate the brutal murder of a therapist’s daughter. 11.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The CSI team investigates a murder tied into a string of spy-themed robberies targeting the elite. 11.55 The FBI Files Documentary. 12.55am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As Roxy plans her father’s funeral, she discovers shocking news; will she ever be able to forgive Peggy? Janine ties herself in knots at the police station, and Syed returns to the Square – but how will Christian react? Probably with a flounce. He does that a lot. 8.00 Holby City Linden has to help Faye and Holly through the day from hell. Thandie resorts to desperate measures to prove herself to Ric, and Maria finds it tough to be both manager and friend. 9.00 Survivors See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Too Old To Be A Mum? Documentary. Women old enough to be grandmothers are having babies. 59-year-old Essex mum Susan Tollefsen has a one year old; can she fit in another baby before her 60th birthday? With no legal age limits on IVF treatment how do we decide when it’s too old to be a new mum? 11.15 Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross Film review show. 11.45 The Apprentice USA 12.30am The Apprentice USA 1.15 Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.50 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 2.50 Great British Railway Journeys 3.20 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 12.30pm PGA Tour Classic 1.30 Extra Time 2.00 Football League 3.30 Wild Spirits 4.00 Poker: Full Tilt Poker.com Million Dollar Cash Game 6.00 International Cricket 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Poker 12.15am Football Asia 12.45 Max Power 1.45 Sports Unlimited
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Football League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Poker: Full Tilt Poker.com Million Dollar Cash Game 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 World Eightball Pool Championships 4.30 WWE: Smackdown 6.30 Motor Sport 7.00 Sports Unlimited 8.00 International Cricket 9.25 LIVE Cricket 5.00am LIVE Test Cricket
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance: The Semi-Finalists 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: Ballroom Dancer 10.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 EastEnders Greatest Cliffhangers 9.00 I Believe In UFOs: Danny Dyer 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 I Believe In UFOs: Danny Dyer 12.50am EastEnders Greatest Cliffhangers
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hidden Histories 8.00 Sahara With Michael Palin 9.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 9.50 Around The World In 80 Treasures Shorts 10.00 We Need Answers. See highlights. 10.30 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 11.00 Nerdstock: 9 Lessons And Carols For Godless People
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 American Idol: Orlando Auditions 7.00 Take Me Out 8.00 Homes From Hell 9.00 FILM: Miami Vice (2006) 11.40 FILM: The Last Kiss (2005) 1.45am Emmerdale 2.10 Teleshopping
11.50am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 Mr Bean (x2) 9.00 Taggart 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.10 Inspector Morse
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 90210 10.00 Embarrassing Teen Bodies 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Celebrity Big Brother Live
4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Burma VJ 11.55 The Orphans Of Burma’s Cyclone 12.55am Come Dine With Me
11.00am The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 12.50pm The Gunfighter (1950) 2.30 The Four Feathers (1939) 4.45 Please Sir! (1971) 6.45 Save The Last Dance (2001) 9.00 Die Hard 4.0 (2007) 11.30 Saw III (2006) 1.40am All About My Mother (1999)
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wednesday 27 Midsomer Murders ITV1, 8pm Everybody who loves Rik Mayall go ‘way-oh! Way-oh!’ Or maybe not. The Marmite of dominating actors turns up as a dinner party guest at a posh house. The party are inextricably linked to a recent spate of burglaries, and one of them is murdered. Gasp! Plenty for Barnaby and Jones to be getting on with...
Desperate Housewives Channel 4, 10pm The curtains are twitching and Mike’s getting married. Again. But is it to Katherine or Susan? Meanwhile, Lynette is dealing with being pregnant. Again. Getting déjà vu yet? Bree is working to break free from Orson, and a new family moves to Wisteria Lane. Do you think the writers found some old notes?
Film: Sexy Beast Film4, 10.40pm Ray Winstone and Ben Kingsley star in this classic independent British crime caper. Winstone and wifey Amanda Redman have retired from the crime game to the Costa Del Sol, and are less than pleased when unstable lag Kingsley turns up to strong-arm Ray into one last job. Star turns from all concerned.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 OOglies 4.05 SMart 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 League Of Super Evil 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.30 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun 12.35 Property Snakes And Ladders 1.40 FILM: Bless This House (1972) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Hyundai A League 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 European Tour Weekly 6.00 Trans World Sport 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.30am Carling Cup Football 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 5.00 Carling Cup Football
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers Food writer Nigel Slater uses some of his favourite food combinations as the starting point for a week’s worth of delicious meals. 8.00 Holby City Donna has to make some tough decisions about the welfare of her five-year-old niece, while Jac finds herself being uncharacteristically pleasant to Joseph. On AAU, Chrissie believes hunky new locum George is too good to be true. Did she make him up? Is she seeing pretend good-looking doctors? That’d be a twist. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases and bringing criminals to justice. A bit like The Justice League. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 Crimewatch Update Did your calls make a difference? Maybe. 10.55 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Barclays Premier League and the Carling Cup semi-final second leg. 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 1.30 Country Tracks 2.25 Great British Railway Journeys 2.55 An Island Parish 3.25 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo visits Bournville, rumoured to be the best place to live in Britain. What about the chocolate? 7.00 Munro: Mountain Man Little more than 100 years ago, Scottish mountains standing at more than 3,000 feet were virtually unknown. Today they are familiar terrain to many thousands of climbers, thanks to Victorian adventurer Hugh Munro’s determination to list the high peaks. 8.00 Natural World How does a chimpanzee see the world? A research project at Edinburgh Zoo is designed to answer just that question in an innovative new way – by training chimps to use video. That’ll explain the abstract new techniques. 9.00 Tsunami: Five Years On The Boxing Day tsunami of 2004 was just the beginning, for those who survived. A massive earthquake caused a tidal wave that killed a quarter of a million people, but many millions more found their lives changed forever. This documentary tells the story of the survivors. 10.00 The Persuasionists Sitcom. There’s no love in the agency for Greg, as he is reduced to searching the internet for comfort. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Jonathan Meades: Off-Kilter 12.20am BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Edna is alarmed to realise that she has not seen the last of Sally. Nicola insists that she and Jimmy set a date for the wedding. How many times has that lady been married? 7.30 Lion Country Documentary series charting how Englishman David Youldon is trying to stop the decline in numbers of wild African lions. Today, David and the team oversee a potentially dangerous introduction when Sango, a two-yearold male, is introduced to brothers Echo and Etosha who, being six months older than the newcomer, are bigger and stronger than him. Who’s king of the jungle? Who? Who?! 8.00 Midsomer Murders See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Frantic (1988) Starring Harrison Ford, Emmanuelle Seigner, Betty Buckley, John Mahoney. Suspense thriller in which the wife of an American doctor vanishes from a Paris hotel room, sending the surgeon on a hectic search that draws him into the city’s criminal underworld and the realm of international espionage. Need another passport stmap to go there. And shots. 12.50am October Road 1.40 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons Bart must perform community service at Grampa’s retirement home. 6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe is resigned to the fact that she’ll be leaving alone, only for Gilly and Kris to turn up at the last minute. Ahh. Mike and Amy discuss his plans for the future. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Property experts Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer help people change their accommodation and their lives in today’s turbulent property market. The experts help Simon Dodd, a Beefeater at the Tower of London, and his wife Pauline find a home in Hampshire. Bet it’ll look pretty and lush. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Davina McCall presents highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Whetting your appetite for tonight’s eviction. Will it sway your voting practices? 10.00 Desperate Housewives See highlights. 10.55 Celebrity Big Brother Davina McCall announces who will be the next person to leave the Celebrity Big Brother house, and then sits them down for their first interview. Bosch! 11.30 Shameless Repeat of yesterday’s episode. 12.35am 4 Music: Editors Live At Fabric 1.05 Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.20 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.00 FILM: Separated By Murder (1994) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Aden opens up to Nicole. Thought he’d just left! 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Celebrity Quitters Linda is starting to embrace the non-smoking lifestyle as she goes shopping with her smoking sisters to spend the money she has saved since quitting. 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Valley Of The Kings Historical documentary series probing the secrets of Ancient Egypt. This episode explores the Valley of the Kings, the royal necropolis of the pharaohs. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. When a naval commander is murdered, an old friend contacts Gibbs. His friend, now a senator, believes he’s being framed because of his connection with the commander. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know that got killed. 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI. A number of apparent suicides are linked to a sinister game of Russian roulette. Can the agents put a stop to the sick practice? 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. The team investigate why a kidnapped wife has been living happily with another man for ten years. 11.55 PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.25am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Cricket 9.30 Airsports World 10.00 Poker 12.00pm Cricket 12.30 Revista De La Liga 1.30 Airsports World 2.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 2.30 Cricket 3.00 Poker 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Inside The PGA Tour 7.00 Cricket 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 LIVE Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.15am Scottish Premier League 12.45 Tenpin Bowling 1.45 Women’s Squash
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Live Test Cricket 10.30 Motor Sport 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Motor Sport 3.00 World Eightball Pool Championships 4.30 Cricket 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 LIVE Scottish Premier League 10.00 Tenpin Bowling 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Inside The PGA Tour 1.00 Champions Tour Golf 2.00 Watersports World 3.30 LIVE Test Cricket
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1.00pm Oops TV 1.30 The Simpsons 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Fat Families 9.00 Got To Dance 10.00 Got To Dance: The Semi-Finalists 11.00 NCIS: LA 12.00am Songbook: Gary Kemp
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 FILM: The Pacifier (2005) 9.30 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 Coming Of Age 11.45 Mock The Week 12.15am Cannabis: Britain’s Secret Farms 1.15 I Believe In UFOs: Danny Dyer
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Diary Of Anne Frank 8.00 Alice HerzSommer: Everything Is A Present 8.50 Meetings With Remarkable Trees 9.00 Shooting The War 10.00 Mad Men (x2) 11.35 We Need Answers 12.05am Shooting The War 1.05 The Children Who Fought Hitler
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 Popstar To Operastar 8.00 American Idol: Dallas Auditions 9.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 11.25 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 1.10am Emmerdale 1.40 Teleshopping 4.10 Surface (x2) 5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen
11.50am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 FILM: Batteries Not Included (1987) 10.05 Wire In The Blood 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Rude Tube 11.25 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.30am Celebrity Big Brother Live
2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team Special 10.35 Time Team 11.40 The Good Wife 12.40am Time Team
1.05pm Appointment In London (1953) 3.00 Avatar Special 3.05 Doctor In Clover (1965) 5.05 Avatar Special 5.15 Hombre (1967) 7.25 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 9.00 The Wedding Date (2005) 10.40 Sexy Beast (2000). See highlights. 12.25am You’re Dead... (1998)
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thursday 28 The Culture Show BBC2, 7pm The show is from The Old Vic tonight, where Toby Young talks to artistic director Kevin Spacey, while Andrew Graham Dixon goes off to see the Chris Ofili show at the Tate Britain. Mark Kermode chats to Peter Jackson about his latest flick The Lovely Bones, and Miranda Sawyer talks to Roots Manuva. There’s loads!
Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Five, 9pm Remember when fishermen used to tell tales of how the fish they caught were generally bigger than them? No-one believed them. So Robson Green has taken a film crew with him to prove the massiveness of the monsters he catches. He’s in Kenya after some cool-sounding aqua things.
Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza Sky 1, 9pm All the celebs are going nature mad tonight, as comic Bill Bailey hosts the birdwatching competition. These tweets have nothing to do with online networking. Donal MacIntyre joins Alex Zane to take on Jeff Green and Jayne Middlemiss and see who twitches the best.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Gastronuts 4.35 Relic: Guardians Of The Museum 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 League Of Super Evil 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Primary Literacy 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo relives the Coventry Blitz, meets the last pure breed Aylesbury duck farmer in Buckinghamshire and finds out how the trains helped to evacuate millions of children during World War II. 7.00 The Culture Show See highlights. 8.00 Jimmy’s Global Harvest Jimmy Doherty visits Kenya and meets farmers near Lake Victoria who use ingenious new ways to combat pests, and scientists who produce bananas in the lab. 9.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons unleash mock and awe on another week with guests Sarah Millican, John Bishop and Chris Addison. Newbies to the panel show – cool. 9.30 Rab C Nesbitt Comedy featuring Scotland’s string-vested, beer-guzzling sage. When a mobile phone mast appears in Govan, Rab turns rabble-rouser to fire-up the community. 10.00 Bellamy’s People Comedy. See TellyTalk. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Culture Show Repeat of the 7pm show. 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.05am Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Celebrity Big Brother 7.25 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun 12.35 Property Snakes And Ladders 1.35 FILM: Above Us The Waves (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Zak gives Sam his blessing over Olena. 7.30 CCTV: Cashing In On Cameras: Tonight As the number of CCTV cameras in the UK rises unchallenged and unregulated, Morland Sanders investigates the new ways they are being used to pay for themselves. 8.00 Emmerdale The police question Natasha and Faye about Mark’s disappearance. 8.30 Coronation Street Rosie’s boob job lies heavy on her conscience – as well as her chest. 9.00 The Bill Sergeant Jo Masters and PC Leon Taylor are called to an aggravated burglary which has left the homeowner dead. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: Sally Anne Bowman – Death On The Doorstep Teenage model Sally Anne Bowman was raped and murdered just yards from her home. A chance incident led to her killer’s capture. Here, Sally Anne’s parents pay tribute to their daughter. 11.35 The Krypton Factor Who will win a place in the semi-finals? 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.00 Loose Women 1.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.45 CCTV: Cashing In On Cameras: Tonight 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy moves in with Ste. Sasha is fed up with Calvin and heads to the Loft to let her hair down, but her evening takes a turn for the worse. She drinks the beer? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 My Dream Farm Monty Don assists six familes as they try to realise their dream of quitting the rat race. Disillusioned couple Rob and Sue Wood have swapped the London suburbs for a windswept corner of Cornwall, but in their pursuit of a self-sufficient lifestyle they soon begin to haemorrhage money. The Good Life my aardvark! 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.00 Girl With Eight Limbs Grows Up Bodyshock Special revisiting three-year-old Lakshmi Tatma, the Indian girl born with extra limbs whose parents were faced with the difficult decision of whether to risk her life with dramatic surgery. 11.05 Gok Wan: Too Fat Too Young Gok Wan explores the rapidly growing problem of teenage obesity in the UK. On a candid and personal journey he also addresses his personal teenage issues around food. 12.05am Wild Things 12.40 Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.00 The Bible: A History 4.50 Countdown 5.35 Sali Mali 5.40 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.05 FILM: Crimes Of Passion (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Hugo’s actions disappoint his loved ones. Miles has a meltdown. Xavier’s memory returns. Eureka! 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters The celebrities are nearing the end of two intensive weeks of being followed night and day as they attempt to quit smoking. Linda has to deal with smoking actors at her panto rehearsal. It’s behind you! The smoking an’ all that, we mean. 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country Property and lifestyle series with Charlie Luxton. Charlie meets a couple who have moved their four young children from Oxfordshire to France to begin a new, idyllic life. Keith and Antoinette dream of converting a chateau-style mansion into a family home and B&B. 9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Renegade Justice (2007) Starring Steven Seagal, Eddie Griffin, Carmen Serano. Action thriller. A man with a violent past seeks revenge for the murder of his son, a police officer who was gunned down in a drive-by shooting. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 10.00 Inside The PGA Tour 10.30 Carling Cup Football 11.30 Scottish Premier League 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 2.00 Scottish Premier League 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 PGA Tour Golf 3.30 European Tour Golf 4.25 LIVE International Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders It is Archie’s funeral, and Marsden is watching the suspects like a hawk. With a small mouse in his mouth. 8.00 Material Girl Drama. Ali’s model friend Lydia is having a midlife crisis a decade early, but how much time has Ali got for her friend with the first mass dress order in and Fashion Week just around the corner? Especially when she is having to keep an eye on both Marco’s shady dealings and boyfriend Chris’ newfound interest in modelling. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama about a team of forensic pathologists. Nikki and Harry try to help wounded victims of a campus shooting while trapped in the building with the rampaging shooter. Not an ideal work environment. Prefer a sofa meself. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Topical debate with a panel of prominent public figures and an invited audience, chaired by David Dimbleby. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.50 Great British Railway Journeys 2.20 Natural World 3.20 The Rat Pack 3.50 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Carling Cup Football 9.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 11.00 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 3.30 Scottish Premier League 4.00 Super League 2009 Season Review 6.00 Tracking Eero 6.30 The Rugby Club 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Super League 2009 Season Review 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 The Rugby Club 12.00am Super League 2009 Season Review 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Time Of Our Lives
Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 10.30 Tracking Eero 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Tenpin Bowling 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Tracking Eero 3.00 World Eightball Pool Championships 4.30 Tracking Eero 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 WWE Wrestling Special 7.00 Race World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 WWE Wrestling Special 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Wrestling Special 2.00 The Dogs
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons... Mischief And Mayhem 9.00 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 10.00 Bones 11.00 Fat Families 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops
7.00pm LIVE African Cup Of Nations: Semi-final 9.30 Little Britain 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle Undercover 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Sun, Sex And Holiday Madness 12.50am Material Girl 1.50 The Real Hustle Undercover 2.20 EastEnders Greatest Cliffhangers
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 Time 9.00 Chemistry: A Volatile History 10.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 10.30 Mrs Mandela 12.00am The Real Winnie Mandela 1.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 1.30 Time 2.30 Only Connect 3.00 Chemistry: A Volatile History
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 Take Me Out 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Grimefighters 8.00 American Idol: Los Angeles Auditions 9.00 BRITs Hits 30 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl (x2) 11.00 Billie And The Real Belle Bare All 11.30 Coronation Street 12.00am Hell’s Kitchen USA
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 FILM: American Gigolo (1980) 1.20am Inspector Morse 3.00 Teleshopping
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Skins 11.00 Glee 12.00am Celebrity Big Brother Live
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Closer 12.00am The Good Wife 1.00 Brothers And Sisters
11.00am Jump Tomorrow (2001) 12.50pm Come Next Spring (1956) 2.40 Panic In The Streets (1950) 4.30 McLintock! (1963) 7.00 Bad News Bears (1976) 9.00 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.45 Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ (2005) 2.00am The Tao Of Steve (2000) 3.50 Close
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2:55 PM
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friday 29 Relocation: Phil Down Under Channel 4, 7.30pm Fancy getting away from it all? Really, really getting away? Then Phil’s yer man, as this new series sees Mr Spencer help lovely British families relocate to Australia. Oh, and he also does a bit of getting to know the place too, here buzzing off with the flying doctors to help out with a few snake bite treatments.
Celebrity Big Brother: The Final Channel 4, 8.30pm & 10.05pm We’ve had those celebs banged up for weeks now, and they’re itching to come out and find out who will be declared the fairest of them all. Will it be bookies’ favourite Vinnie, or maybe classy lady Stephanie? It’s all coming to a head.
Latin Music USA BBC4, 9pm America’s people are a mix of all the races of the world that could get – or be put – onto a boat and land ashore on the other side. Each of those races brought their own music and, apparently, Latin music arrived in the USA with the first Cuban immigrants. This documentary matches music to tell the history of racial attitudes.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Horrible Histories 4.35 Prank Patrol 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Class Clips 11.15 Primary Geography: A Village In Bangladesh 11.25 Something Special 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo rides the world’s first tube line to Smithfield market and climbs up the clock tower of the Houses of Parliament to hear Big Ben chime. No one told him you can hear it from the bottom too? 7.00 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain The 1950s were a period of apparent calm, order and prosperity for Britain, but much of the populace was hungry for change. 8.00 Mastermind The specialist subjects are the work of Gerry Anderson, the Summer Olympics 1968–1988, the life and work of Sir John Everett Millais and the life of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk. 8.30 An Island Parish 9.00 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World Dan Snow sheds light on the evolution of Nelson’s Navy in the late 18th century. 10.00 Mock The Week Repeat of Thursday’s show. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show 11.45 Heroes Drama series. Hiro’s health continues to deteriorate as he goes on a mission to prevent a coworker from committing suicide. 12.30am Nurse Jackie 1.00 Medium 1.40 FILM: Repulsion (1965) 3.25 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.20 Property Snakes And Ladders 1.20 FILM: Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 Meridian Tonight . 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Maisie struggles to cope with her feelings for Ryan. 7.30 Coronation Street Will a grieving Becky tell Steve about her loss? The Webster family gather together to take Sally to hospital. 8.00 Dancing On Ice Friday Ben Shephard and Coleen Nolan present an exclusive preview of this coming Sunday night’s performances. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Becky’s news make a drunken Steve come to his senses? Joe books a surprise break in the Lakes for Gail. 9.00 Popstar To Operastar The six remaining popstars perform live in a bid to win over the panel and win public votes. The panel features mentors mezzo-soprano Katherine Jenkins and world-class tenor Rolando Villazon, as well as critics Meat Loaf and TV presenter and Classic FM host Laurence LlewelynBowen. Who knew he was a DJ? 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 11.05 FILM: Top Gun (1986) Starring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards. Action-packed tale of an air force cadet’s quest to become top gun at San Diego’s US Navy Fighter Weapons School. Takes your breath away. 1.05am Ladette To Lady 1.55 FILM: Balto III: Wings Of Change (2004) 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sasha wakes up bruised and frightened and unable to tell anyone what has happened. Zak urges Hayley to take her pregnancy seriously. Rhys is concerned about Hannah’s plans to leave, but may have no choice but to give her his blessing. What’s it look like? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Relocation: Phil Down Under See highlights. 8.30 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final See highlights. 9.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. A simple and entertaining way to find out all about the week’s news. 10.05 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final See highlights. 11.10 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live Award-winning comedian Alan Carr performs in front of a sell-out audience at the Hammersmith Apollo. Carr talks frankly about his childhood and adolescence, having been born into a sporting family. 12.10am 4 Music: Florence And The Machine: Video Exclusive 12.15 4Play: Marina And The Diamonds 12.30 FILM: Bad Lieutenant (1992) 2.15 The Dead Zone 3.00 Volvo Ocean Race 3.50 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 4.45 Rat Race 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.05 FILM: More Sex And The Single Mom (2005) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The Surf Club Christmas party is a memorable affair. Charlie finally unmasks the gang behind the people-smuggling ring. Are the two connected? 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters In the final episode, all five celebrities meet up with their families and friends to reveal how they have coped – and one family has a shock in store. The show catches up with the celebrities two weeks later to see if they have managed to abstain from smoking. 8.00 Austin Stevens Adventures Wildlife documentary series. Austin is travelling back into snake country, and this time he is looking for the largest snake found in all of Africa – the African rock python. Why? 9.00 FILM: The Hard Corps (2006) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Viveca Fox, Peter Bryan. Action thriller in which a former soldier assembles a team of tough bodyguards to protect an ex-boxer. Not so tough boxer now it seems. 11.15 Paul Merton In Europe Repeat of Monday’s show. 12.15am SuperCasino 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Wildlife SOS 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.30pm Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Super League- Season Review 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 International Cricket 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night Live 12.00am Barclays Premier League Preview 12.30 Super League 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 4.30 Football League Weekend 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker is in the chair as she poses the questions to team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 8.00 EastEnders Glenda is summoned to the Vic as the Mitchells grill the surprise arrival. 8.30 QI Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gets to grips with the greats, with Jo Brand, David Mitchell, Sean Lock and Alan Davies. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama about a team of forensic pathologists. Leo’s post-mortem of the victims reveals there were two guns used, and possibly a second shooter. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Joining Jonathan in the studio are guests including Sex And The City siren Kim Cattrall, and indie rock giants Editors. Lots really. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.45 FILM: The Hunted (2002) Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Benicio Del Toro, Connie Nielsen. Tough action thriller. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Rock And Chips 2.45 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.45 Great British Railway Journeys 4.15 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 The Rugby Club 11.30 Surfing 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 2.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 2.30 The Rugby Club 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.30 NFL - Total Access 5.30 World Sport 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Football League Weekend 1.30 NFL – Total Access 2.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.00 Tight Lines 4.00 Super League 5.30 Canter Banter
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 WWE Wrestling Special 10.00 Race World 11.00 Racing News 11.30 The Dogs 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Tracking Eero 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 World Eightball Pool Championships 6.00 WWE Wrestling Special 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 World Eightball Pool Championships 9.00 Powerboating 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Elite League Ice Hockey Victoria Nangle
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2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance: The Semi-Finalists 9.00 Fat Families 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Football’s Next Star 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops 1.50 Road Wars 2.40 Don’t Forget The Lyrics
7.00pm Top Gear 8.10 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 EastEnders Greatest Cliffhangers 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Coming Of Age 12.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.45 Being Human 2.45 EastEnders Greatest Cliffhangers 3.45 Coming Of Age
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Jean Sibelius: Maturity and Silence 8.20 Sight And Sound In Concert 9.00 Latin Music USA. See highlights. 10.00 The Big 3 Palladium Orchestra At The Barbican 11.00 Legends: Carmen Miranda 12.00am Nerdstock: 9 Lessons And Carols For Godless People
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy 5.05 Dancing On Ice 7.30 Dancing On Ice - The SkateOff 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 11.05 FILM: Two Weeks Notice (2002) 1.05am Coronation Street (x2) 2.00 Emmerdale 2.25 Teleshopping
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 Doc Martin 10.00 Kingdom 11.05 FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002) 1.15am Inspector Morse 2.50 Cane 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.10am FILM: Bride And Prejudice (2004)
4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World (2003) 11.35 FILM: Wolf (1994) 2.00am A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 3.00 Relocation, Relocation
12.45pm Avatar Special 12.55 A Town Like Alice (1956) 3.10 The Fly (1958) 5.00 Nowhere Boy Special 5.05 Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) 7.00 Danny Boyle Special 7.10 Millions (2004) 9.00 The Sum Of All Fears (2002) 11.20 The Football Factory (2004) 1.05am If... (1968) 3.15 Danny Boyle Special
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saturday 30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp ITV1, 7pm Is this guy trying for the title of hardest working man in television? Harry Hill is back with a brand new series of his topical television critique, with the usual madcap and surreal slants. Soaps, reality shows, documentaries and dramas each get the seriousness knocked out of them, all with good spirit.
Britain’s Big Freeze Channel 4, 7pm It’s a cliché that us Brits like nothing better than to talk about the weather, but this year it’s certainly been worth the conversation. With one of the coldest winters in Britain for decades, experts compare it with the freezes of 1947, 1963 and February 2009. Will it last and what does it mean?
Hamlet BBC4, 7pm It’s a 7pm conspiracy, there’s loads of interesting things on at this time, so set your Sky+/video/ other recording contraption and do your best to see them all. Here is another chance to catch David Tennant’s award-winning theatrical rendition of Hamlet, as first shown at Crimbo. Lush and bloody.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Tennis: Australian Open 2010 2.00 Athletics: UK Indoor Match 2010 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.20 South East Today 5.30 Total Wipeout
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.25 Leon 8.30 Jump Nation 9.30 Prank Patrol 10.00 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.30 Keep Your Enemies Close 11.00 The Slammer 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm Greek 12.45 The 5.19 Show 1.05 The Well 1.15 The Well 1.30 The Cut 2.00 All Saints 2.45 FILM: The Journey Of Natty Gann (1985) 4.20 Dolly Parton: Live From London 5.30 Dolly Parton: Platinum Blonde
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.25 Popstar To Operastar 11.55 ITV News & Weather 12.05pm FILM: K-9 PI (2002) 1.50 FILM: Fletch Lives (1989) 3.30 Best Ever Hidden Camera Stunts 5 4.30 Meridian News And Weather 4.45 ITV News & Weather 5.00 FILM: Ice Age (2002)
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freesports On 4 7.30 World Sport 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.55 Glee 10.55 4Music Favourites: Ke$ha 11.25 Friends 11.55 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final 12.55pm Celebrity Big Brother: The Final 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Three Hungry Boys 4.25 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.55 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 Rugby Union 5.15 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.30 So You Think You Can Dance The competition is over halfway through and things are even more tense in the search to find Britain’s favourite dancer. Who will stay in the competition and who will be forces to dance for their lives? 7.30 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time in a bid to win a big money jackpot. Oh, and someone semi-famous calls out some numbers. 8.20 So You Think You Can Dance Results Can you guess what it is from the title? Aren’t you clever! 8.50 Casualty The pressure on the F2s mounts as the day of their exam arrives. The gang rally to support Adam and Jessica at Harry’s funeral, while Charlie urges Louis to face up to his responsibilities. 9.40 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy. BAFTA-nominated actor and comedian from the Valleys Rob Brydon hosts, and special guests are funny lady Sarah Millican and Ireland’s very own Jason Byrne. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Highlights from all of the day’s matches in the Barclays Premier League. 11.50 The Football League Show 1.05am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.05 Weatherview 2.10 BBC News
6.30 A History Of Christianity Series in which Professor Diarmaid MacCulloch goes in search of Christianity’s forgotten origins. 7.30 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World Another chance to catch Friday’s programme. 8.30 The Virtual Revolution 20 years on from the invention of the World Wide Web Dr Aleks Krotoski explores how it is reshaping almost every aspect of our lives. In the first in this four part series Aleks charts the extraordinary rise of blogs, Wikipedia, and YouTube. 9.30 QI XL Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry has fun in this extended show, with Jo Brand, David Mitchell, Sean Lock and Alan Davies. 10.15 Heroes Drama series in which people all over the world deal with their newly-discovered superpowers. Lydia cautions Samuel against bringing in new members to their clan. Peter tries to connect with Emma, who wants nothing to do with him, and Sylar struggles to find the person he once was. Literally. 11.00 FILM: Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (2005) Starring Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell and John Malkovich. Based on Douglas Adam’s comic sci-fi novel. 12.40am FILM: Anatomy Of A Murder (1959)
6.30 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill showcases more of the funniest footage filmed by viewers. 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp See highlights. 7.30 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness is back to match up 30 dateless divas with one of our single blokes. Hoping to catch our girls’ eyes are a ballet-dancing hunk, an Irish barman, a magician and a sexy Welsh actor. But which boy will land themselves a date? Oh, and a catch up on last week’s couple. 8.30 All Star Mr & Mrs Corrie star Beverley Callard and her partner Jon, Boyzone singer Mikey Graham and his wife Karen, and music legend Noddy Holder and his wife Suzan battle it out to see who knows the most about their other half in a bid to win £30,000 for their charity. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of those cars on the way home afterwards. 9.30 FILM: Nine Months (1995) Starring Hugh Grant, Julianne Moore. Romantic comedy about a man who fears his idyllic five-year relationship is about to change when his partner becomes pregnant. Ya think?! 11.20 ITV News; Weather 11.35 FILM: The River (1984) Starring Mel Gibson, Sissy Spacek, Scott Glenn. Gritty drama. 1.50am FILM: Pieces Of April (2003) 3.10 Six Degrees 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Cookery-based reality show in which chefs compete for the title of ultimate dinner host. Marie Hughes Price is the final Coventry host, and is hoping to win the cash prize. Vote at home for the cattiest comments. 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Britain’s Big Freeze See highlights. 8.00 FILM: The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Dash Mihok. Sci-fi drama following the efforts of a climatologist on a mission to save the world from an immediate threat of global warming while also trying to reach his son in New York before the city is taken over by a new ice age. Reassuring stuff straight after that look at our own winter. Hmm. 10.20 FILM: Pitch Black (2000) Starring Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser and Keith David. When a spaceship suffers mechanical failure and is forced to land on a foreign planet, its passengers’ attempts to escape are hindered by underground mutants bent on a deadly feeding frenzy. Aren’t they all? 12.20am Big Brother’s Big Mouth 1.20 FILM: The Lady In White (1988) 3.15 The Dead Zone 4.00 Scrapheap Challenge 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Treacle People (x2)
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Elmo’s World 7.15 Fireman Sam 7.30 Milkshake Monkey 7.35 Chiro 7.40 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.00 Hana’s Helpline 8.15 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green 12.00pm Zoo Days 12.20 FILM: Patch Adams (1998) 2.30 FILM: Cutaway (2000) 4.45 FILM: The Postman (1997) 7.45 NCIS US drama series following the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The wives of two marines are murdered and the team are desperate to find the killers before they attack another target. Probably another wife. You’d think. 8.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. Grissom, Sara and Warrick investigate the world of boxing when a fighter dies in the ring. Meanwhile, Nick looks into a smash-and-grab robbery at a jewellery store, and Catherine is faced with the consequences of gang violence. Bet at least one of these will need something gross under a microscope. 9.40 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. Mac and the team are mystified when a woman claims to have murdered her unfaithful husband but is cleared by DNA evidence. Psychic killing? 10.40 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York which investigates sexually oriented crimes. The detectives probe the murder of a graduate student who had been working to rehabilitate hardened criminals. No soft centres. 11.35 Crime Scene Academy 12.05am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am World Sport 6.30 Canter Banter 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Super League 9.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 1.30pm Cricket 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Cricket 4.30 European Tour Golf 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Spanish Football 2.00 Rugby Union 3.00 NFL – Total Access 4.00 Spanish Football 5.30 Airsports World
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 NFL – America’s Game 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 3.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 3.30 WWE Smackdown 5.30 Rugby Union 8.00 World Sport 8.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 9.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WW Royal Rumble Preview 11.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.30am WW Royal Rumble Preview 2.00 World Sport 2.30 Canter Banter 3.00 Wild Spirits 3.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 4.00 Airsports World 4.25 LIVE International Cricket
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4.00pm Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 5.00 Got To Dance 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons...Mischief And Mayhem 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Oops TV 9.00 FILM: American Pie 2 (2001) 11.05 Got To Dance: Meet The Semi-Finalists 12.05am Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 1.05 Road Wars
7.00pm Outtakes: US Presidents 7.20 Top Gear 8.20 The Real Hustle Undercover 8.50 FILM: National Treasure (2004) 10.50 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 FILM: 16 Blocks (2006) 1.15am Being Human 2.15 The Real Hustle Undercover 2.45 EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers 3.45 Outtakes: US Presidents
7.00pm Hamlet. See highlights. 10.05 The Big 3 Palladium Orchestra At The Barbican 11.05 Nurse Jackie 11.35 The Armstrong And Miller Show 12.05am The Thick Of It 12.35 BBC Proms 2009: Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra 2.25 The Big 3 Palladium Orchestra At The Barbican
1.25pm Holiday Airport: Cyprus (x2) 3.25 Holiday Showdown 4.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 5.00 American Idol: Dallas Auditions 6.00 American Idol: Los Angeles Auditions 7.00 FILM: Twister (1996) 9.00 FILM: The Interpreter (2005) 11.40 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 1.30am Harry Hill’s TV Burp
10.20am Hornblower 12.30pm The Darling Buds Of May 1.35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.40 Pie In The Sky 3.40 A Touch Of Frost 5.45 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Rebus 10.30 Trial And Retribution 12.45am FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002) 2.35 On The Buses 3.00 Teleshopping
12.40pm Heartland 1.35 Privileged 2.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 The 100 Greatest Scary Moments 1.00am How To Look Good Naked 1.55 Gok’s Fashion Fix 2.50 The Hills 3.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus
12.30pm Time Team 1.30 Trains With Pete Waterman 2.35 FILM: Hell And High Water (1954) 4.40 Grand Designs (x5) 10.00 Tsunami: Caught On Camera 11.40 Time Team 12.40am Trains With Pete Waterman 1.45 Tsunami: Caught On Camera
11.00am The Day Will Dawn (1942) 1.00pm Millions (2004) 2.50 Danny Boyle Special 3.00 Doctor In Clover (1965) 5.00 The African Queen (1951) 7.10 Bring It On (2000) 9.00 Employee Of The Month (2006) 11.05 Saw III (2006) 1.15am Crimson Rivers (2000)
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sunday 31 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.15pm Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby host the sequinned crescendo to the weekend family viewing, as the remaining 11 stars dance to classic songs from the ‘70s. Will anyone enjoy the subtle irony of dancing to ‘Disco Inferno’ on ice? Or could it all be Nolan Sisters and Leo Sayer memories? Lovely Sunday time.
Mo Channel 4, 9pm Revealing drama starring Julie Walters as the charismatic, frank and popular Labour MP, the late Mo Mowlam. Mo documents her part in the Good Friday Agreement, her style and warmth, as well as her personal trauma of being diagnosed with a brain tumour months after the 1997 Labour landslide.
Being Human BBC3, 9pm What with last week’s darkly fab opener of the medieval condemned in a dank cave; the Terry Wogan episode before that, and the general premise of this show, we can’t wait to see what happens next! Annie gets ghost help this week; George gets a job, a girlfriend and a cage; and Mitchell gets dark. Errr.
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6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.05 EastEnders 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.45 South East Today
6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Boo! 6.45 Louie 7.00 Dani’s House 7.30 Tracy Beaker Returns 8.00 Spirit Warriors 8.30 Tennis: Australian Open – Men’s Final 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 Escape To The Country 1.15 FILM: 3.10 To Yuma (1957) 2.45 All Saints 3.30 African Cup Of Nations 2010 Final
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 ITV News & Weather 11.55 FILM: Clockwise (1986) 1.45pm Columbo: Dead Weight 3.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.15 Meridian News And Weather 5.30 ITV News & Weather 5.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 7.45 Running To The Limits 8.45 The Hills 9.10 Friends 9.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.20pm Cheryl Cole Video Exclusive 12.25 Beyonce: I Am Yours - An Intimate Performance From Wynn, Las Vegas 1.25 Friends 1.55 Beyonce: For The Record 2.55 90210 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Glee
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Hannah Montana 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Zoo Days 11.20 A Concert With Andre Rieu 12.05pm Top Trumps: All Terrain Vehicles 12.35 Ice Road Truckers 1.35 Dreams Come True: A Celebration Of Disney Animation 2.35 FILM: Mickey And The Seal (1948) 2.40 FILM: Prince Charming (2001) 4.35 FILM: Mickey Mouse: Lonesome Ghosts (1937) 4.40 FILM: Disney’s Aladdin (1993)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.30 Spanish Football 5.30 Wild Spirits
6.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury are in the Cairngorms, a part of Scotland which has seen its heaviest snowfall in more than a decade. Matt makes the most of the icy conditions, by taking part in the annual sled dog rally. That’s prepared. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team are in Bath where thousands flock to the Assembly Rooms with their treasured objects. Tat and treasures abound. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. It’s harvest time – the most important time of the year in Lark Rise, when everyone helps to bring in the wheat that will feed them through winter. So when an epidemic hits, it couldn’t come at a worse time. Dang and blast it! 9.00 Seven Ages Of Britain This episode begins with the Roman invasion and ends with the Norman Conquest. As many things do. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.25 Would I Lie To You? Comedy panel show in which teams must sort the truth from the fiction. 10.55 FILM: Seraphim Falls (2005) Starring Pierce Brosnan, Liam Neeson, Anjelica Huston, Angie Harmon. Historical drama. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: Dear Diary 1.45 Holby City (x2) 3.45 The Choir: Unsung Town 4.45 BBC News
6.15 Ski Sunday For the last show in the series, Graham Bell and Ed Leigh present coverage of the most atmospheric slalom on the World Cup tour – the Schladming night race in Austria. Who compares them all to say this is the most? Eh? Eh?! 7.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa Art historian Gus Casely-Hayford explores the pre-colonial history of some of Africa’s most important kingdoms. 8.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, including road tests, news and features. 9.00 The Great Rift: Africa’s Wild Heart Series investigating the geological forces that have shaped East Africa’s Great Rift Valley. The valley channels a huge diversity of waterways – rivers, lakes, waterfalls, caustic springs and coral seas – spanning from Egypt to Mozambique. So stunning you’ll want to jack in your job and leg it right over. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles with the weekend’s Premier League action. 10.50 Mrs Mandela Drama which charts how Winnie Mandela went from innocent country girl to politicised fighter against apartheid, and from an adoring wife to firebrand revolutionary. 12.25am The Persuasionists 12.55 Spiral Staircase 2.15 BBC News 4.45 The Super League Show
6.15 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.30 Wild At Heart Drama series set on an African nature reserve. Danny confides in Du Plessis about his intention to ask for Alice’s hand in marriage, but the arrival of his stepdaughter Olivia threatens to derail his plans. Pesky step-daughter. Obviously having one will immediately turn Alice into an evil witch with a thing about apples. Shame. 9.30 Dancing On Ice – The Skate-Off The two couples with the fewest votes must battle it out in the Skate-Off, with the judges having the final word. Probably won’t be a nice one either. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 The South Bank Show Awards Melvyn Bragg presents the final South Bank Show Awards in front of a star-studded audience at The Dorchester in London. These unique awards celebrate the best of British talent across the arts including classical music, comedy, dance, literature, film, pop, TV drama and theatre. Bye bye Melvyn. 11.40 FILM: De-Lovely (2004) Starring Kevin Kline, Ashley Judd, Jonathan Pryce. Musical biopic of American composer Cole Porter. 1.50am FILM: When Good Ghouls Go Bad (2001) 3.25 Dating The Enemy 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Bible: A History Seven figures from around the world offer their interpretations of the Bible and what it means to them. War correspondent Rageh Omaar, who was brought up as a Muslim, examines Abraham, one of the most revered patriarchs of the Jewish, Christian and Muslim faiths. 8.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me A frosty winter’s celebrity edition of the cooking competition, as former newsreader Jan Leeming, former EastEnder Dave ‘Keith’ Spinx, undercover reporter Donal MacIntyre and Eurovision pop star Javine take turns to entertain. Four very different meals bring love, lust, tears, Fried Balls and a fancy dress disco. Who is really the biggest diva, and what comes out when the booze flows? 9.00 Mo See highlights. 11.10 FILM: The Omen (2006) Starring Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber, Mia Farrow and David Thewlis. Slick remake of the classic horror film. Following a series of chilling events, a mother slowly begins to realise that her adopted son is the spawn of the Devil. Surely that’s just the Terrible Twos. No? 1.15am Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth 2.10 The Truth About Race And IQ 3.20 The Closer 4.05 St Elsewhere 4.50 Countdown 5.35 Sali Mali 5.40 Yo Gabba Gabba
6.35 Five News 6.40 FILM: Superman III (1983) Starring Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Jackie Cooper, Pamela Stephenson, Robert Vaughn. A fantasy adventure pitting the superhero against an evil corporation chief and featuring a comic turn by Richard Pryor as the arch-villain’s computer-tapping protege. Superman versus machine has the potential to get deep, but happily they sidestep that completely. Phew. 9.00 FILM: Vacancy (2007) Starring Kate Beckinsale, Luke Wilson, Frank Whaley and Ethan Embry. Tense thriller. When a young couple’s car breaks down, they are forced to spend the night in an isolated motel. With little entertainment, the pair begin to watch some low-budget slasher movies they find – only to realise that all of the action takes place in their very room. Unable to escape the camera-filled motel, the newlyweds attempt to turn the tables on their would-be killer before they end up starring in his latest film. 10.45 FILM: The Blair Witch Project (1999) Starring Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard and Michael Williams. Low-budget horror. 12.20am Urban Legends 12.50 SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 World Sport 8.00 Spanish Football 9.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 1.30pm LIVE International Rugby Union 4.00 International Cricket 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00am Live NFL: Pro Bowl 3.00 Close
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Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.30pm Rugby Union 1.30 This Week In WWE 2.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 LIVE Hockey 7.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 7.30 International Cricket 9.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 10.00 This Week In WWE 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am WWE Royal Rumble Preview 1.00 European Tour Golf 2.30 Close
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2.00pm Fat Families 3.00 Obese At 16: A Life In The Balance 4.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Semi-Finalists 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance 7.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 24 10.00 24 11.00 Modern Family (x2) 12.00am Football’s Next Star
7.00pm The Real Hustle Undercover 7.30 FILM: Legally Blonde (2001) 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.35 Being Human 12.35am Harper’s Island 1.15 Coming Of Age 1.45 I Believe In UFOs: Danny Dyer 2.45 EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers
7.00pm Duets: The Andy Williams Show 8.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 8.50 Around The World In 80 Treasures Shorts 9.00 Watching The Dead 10.00 Latin Music USA 11.00 Mad Men (x2) 12.35am Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 1.25 Watching The Dead 2.25 Latin Music USA 3.25 Mad Men (x2) 5.30 Close
3.45pm BRITs Hits 30 4.45 New You’ve Been Framed! 5.15 Dancing On Ice - The Skate-Off 5.45 Dancing On Ice Friday 6.15 Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.50 FILM: Kindergarten Cop (1990) 9.00 FILM: Miami Vice (2006) 11.40 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 12.10am Secret Diary Of A Call Girl
12.20pm Inspector Morse 2.30 FILM: The Secret Of My Success (1987) 4.40 Mr Bean (x2) 5.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.55 Rebecca 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker 12.15am FILM: Nora (2000) 2.10 My Uncle Silas 2.35 On The Buses (x2) 3.25 Drama Trails 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
12.50pm Dark Angel 2.05 Reaper 3.05 FILM: Volcano (1997) 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Being Erica 11.55 Samantha Who? (x2) 12.55 Supernanny 1.55 Gok’s Fashion Fix 2.50 Samantha Who? (x2) 3.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus
1.50 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 The TV Book Club 8.00 The View From River Cottage 8.30 The View From River Cottage 9.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip 10.10 Britain’s Big Freeze 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.50 Curb Your Enthusiasm
11.00am Prince Valiant (1954) 1.00pm Last Holiday (2006) 3.15 The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 5.05 Hombre (1967) 7.15 Honey, I Blew Up The Kid (1992) 9.00 Die Hard 4.0 (2007) 11.30 All About My Mother (1999) 1.30am Hamlet (2000)
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monday 1 The Gadget Show Five, 8pm It’s a brand new series – so new in fact that they couldn’t release previews in time for publication. But there is a brief. Phew! Suzi Perry and Jason Bradbury head into the Liwa desert to test a range of survival tools, meanwhile Jon Bentley examines the latest e-readers and Ortis Deley looks at 2010’s gadgets.
The Good Wife Channel 4, 10pm The latest US drama import to arrive on C4 is getting in its stride. Alicia is back at work, her husband is disgraced and in the clink, and people are still staring and pointing. Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. And even harder if you’re a stripper who was attacked at a stag party – which is who Alicia is representing.
American Idol: Dallas Auditions ITV2, 6pm With the usual mixture of talent, poignant heartstring-pulling music at sob stories, and the downright scarily delusional, American Idol is back with a new crop of hopefuls. Judged by Simon Cowell, Kara DioGuardi (we don’t know either) and Randy Jackson, plus guest judges.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11.00 Best Of Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Little Prairie Dogs 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Victorian Scotland: Telling The Story 11.20 The Maths Channel 11.30 The Maths Channel 11.40 See You, See Me 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Panic Attack 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce presents another series celebrating over 30 years of the Antiques Roadshow. There’s a fond look back at how the Roadshow has evolved since its early days in the late 1970s. Inflation, if nothing else. 7.00 Seven Ages Of Britain History series. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions as two teams of students battle it out. 8.30 Delia Through The Decades Series celebrating Delia Smith’s career and the ways she has shaped what people eat and how they cook it. In an oven. Her BBQ series never really took off. Ha ha. 9.00 The British Family: Our History In the final part of her series on the post-war history of the British family, Kirsty Young looks at how children have come to dominate family life in the last decade. 10.00 Nurse Jackie Dark comedy drama series about Jackie Peyton, a no-nonsense emergency room nurse. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Virtual Revolution 20 years on from the invention of the World Wide Web Dr Aleks Krotoski explores how it is reshaping almost every aspect of our lives. 12.20am An Island Parish 12.50 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.15 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 According To Jim 11.00 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The TV Book Club 12.30 A Place In The Sun 1.00 FILM: Mary, Queen Of Scots (1971) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.00 Spanish Football 12.00pm Ford Football Special 2.00 Spanish Football 4.00 Ford Football Special 5.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Hannah is pushed to breaking point over the bullying. 7.30 Coronation Street Kevin is not happy to find Molly at home – with Tyrone. 8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary based in the Lake District, narrated by Rory McGrath. We meet a legendary Lakeland farmer who has won so many rosettes for his eggs that he is actually in the Guinness Book of Records. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Steve convince Becky to keep their baby? Janice welcomes Trevor the binman to her boudoir. Whe-hey! 9.00 Law & Order: UK Drama based on the hit US show. DS Ronnie Brooks and DS Matt Devlin investigate a shocking crime in which a man is attacked and has his kidney cut out. Suspecting organ trafficking, they discover that the kidney was earmarked to be transplanted into a wealthy recipient. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick and Edward Furlong. Sci-fi sequel. 1.00am Take Me Out 1.55 Loose Women 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Malachy is over the moon when Mercedes agrees that they should find a flat to move into together. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Dispatches: Afghanistan: Behind Enemy Lines Award-winning reporter Najibullah Quraishi spends time with an army of extreme Islamic combatants in northern Afghanistan. 9.00 Tower Block Of Commons Four-part series which follows a group of MPs as they spend eight days and nights living in council estate tower blocks across the country, and come face-to-face with the issues that affect the lives of people in some of Britain’s most deprived neighbourhoods. 10.00 The Good Wife See highlights. 11.00 FILM: The Quick And The Dead (1995) Starring Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lance Henriksen and Pat Hingle. Wry western pastiche about a female gunslinger who returns to a lawless town seeking retribution for the death of her father. 1.05am Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth 2.10 The Human Zoo: Science’s Dirty Secret 3.00 FILM: Carmen Jones (1954) 4.45 St Elsewhere 5.35 Sali Mali 5.40 Yo Gabba Gabba
6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor: Inside And Out 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 3.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.10 FILM: Lone Rider (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Hugo kidnaps Charlie. Xavier, Alf and Romeo find the refugees in the shipping container. Angelo attempts to save Martha. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn discovers the surprising process behind the creation of banknotes, learns how falconry has found a new role in industry and witnesses the construction of the world’s largest truck. 8.00 The Gadget Show See highlights. 9.00 Paul Merton In Europe Paul heads to Milan to see how the city’s twin loves of football and fashion have fused together with the notion of a footballer living in a department store. He watches a violent game of medieval football before meeting a group of men who have shed their macho image by learning housework. 10.00 FILM: Hannibal (2001) Starring Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore, Giancarlo Giannini, Gary Oldman, Ray Liotta. Gory sequel to The Silence of the Lambs. The good Doctor H is in Florence, looking stunning but creating the grotesque. 12.40am Urban Legends 1.10 SuperCasino 4.00 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out 8.00 EastEnders There is fierce competition in the Vic as Roxy holds auditions for new bar staff. 8.30 Panorama Panorama exposes the myths and realities of the new child protection register. 9.00 Hustle Drama series about a group of con artists. The gang are left in shock as the unthinkable happens – Mickey is conned! Slimy lowlife Mervyn Lloyd rips him off. According to the laws of grifting, when a grifter is conned he’s guaranteed a run of bad luck. Mickey is forced to step aside and the con-running baton passes to Ash as they try adn get Mickey’s luck back. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Richard Dimbleby Lecture One of the world’s most popular authors, Sir Terry Pratchett, gives the 34th Richard Dimbleby Lecture from the Royal College of Physicians in London. 11.20 Late Kick Off 11.50 FILM: The Parole Officer (2001) Starring Steve Coogan, Lena Headey. Offbeat comedy. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Delia Through The Decades 1.55 Survivors 2.55 Great British Railway Journeys 3.25 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 PGA Tour Golf 12.30pm European Tour Golf 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Snow Ride 4.30 NFL: Pro Bowl - AFC V NFC 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 Athletics 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 9.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 PGA Tour Classic 11.30 Athletics 12.00am European Tour Golf 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 2.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 3.30 PGA Tour Classic 4.30 Athletics 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Hockey 8.00 WWE The Bottom Line 9.00 NFL – America’s Game 10.00 NFL – America’s Game 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL: Pro Bowl 1.30 Snow Ride 2.00 Super League 3.30 Rugby Union 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 8.00 NFL: Pro Bowl 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Poker 12.00am WWE Late Night Afterburn 1.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
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1.00pm Oops TV 1.30 The Simpsons 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Semi-Finalists 10.00 24 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x3)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Don’t Get Screwed 8.30 The Real Hustle Undercover 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Little Britain 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Gavin And Stacey 12.50 Little Britain 1.20 The Real Hustle Undercover
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Shooting The War 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Murder On The Lake 10.30 FILM: White Mischief (1988) 12.10am Chemistry: A Volatile History 1.10 Only Connect 1.40 Murder On The Lake 3.10 Shooting The War
4.40pm Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 American Idol: Dallas Auditions. See highlights. 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl (x2) 11.00 Billie And The Real Belle Bare All 11.30 Coronation Street (x2) 12.30am Emmerdale
12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.00 The Bill: New Beginnings 12.05am The Fixer
12.10pm Wildfire 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glee 10.00 The Cleveland Show (x2) 11.00 Skins 12.05am FILM: Cabin Fever (2002)
3.20pm A Place In The Sun 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 The Secret Millionaire 11.05 Brothers And Sisters 12.00am Relocation, Relocation
11.00am Appointment In London (1953) 12.55pm The Dark Corner (1946) 2.50 Sleep My Love (1948) 4.50 Donovan’s Reef (1963) 7.00 Bad News Bears (1976) 9.00 Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994) 11.15 The Yards (2000) 1.30am Very Annie Mary (1999)