Latest Seven 461: 9-15 Feb

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

IS THIS THE NEW HARRY POTTER? p29

9 – 15 February 2010

FREE WEEKLY

VALENTINE’S SPECIAL Romantic dining and gift ideas BRENDA BLETHYN on her ghostly new role

Sparkling gems this Valentine’s Day from Jeremy Hoye page 15

Have you seen our top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at

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COLUMNIST IDOL The winners announced!

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000_LS461_Brighton centre

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003_LS461 contents

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welcome

L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Love Wine and the Brighton Women’s Centre’s 35th b-day 5 City Speak Introducing our two Columnist Idol winners... 5 Competitions Win half-term goodies and signed books 7 Heather Mills’ VBites Sneak a peek at Heather’s new reclaimed fashion label 8 News Council’s parking fine profits – what’s your response? 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Musicians! Earn yourself a free industry review... 9 Bookings Jools Holland, Scouting For Girls and The Bootleg Beatles 10 Snap Shots Performance art creation ‘The Countess’ 11 Celebcity Sundance Film Festival and that Las Vegas wedding 28 Bare Cheek & Astral Angi The RSC do Stephen King; plus your Valentine’s Day stars

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L7 Don’t miss...

13 VALENTINE’S SPECIAL Your 15-page guide to rolling out the romance this Valentine’s Day, from special menus to gorgeous gift ideas, including the latest jewellery from Jeremy Hoye

29 L7 INTERVIEW Logan Lerman, the young star of magical new movie Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, chats about taking up Harry Potter’s mantle

Aside from hard-line Catholics, hard-line environmentalists and the female friend who genuinely thought it was round about the 25th of March (respect), we tend not to believe people when they say they don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s Day. Single people might say they’re not fussed, and partners might maturely agree with each other not to bother this year because cash is tight and the restaurants are all booked out and besides, doesn’t your every waking moment together pass by in a cloud of heightened affection anyway? But when it comes down to it, who wouldn’t rather get a nice card than not? Hence this issue’s Valentine’s special, packed with gift ideas, dining suggestions and the odd bridal shop and wedding venue for anyone whose partner just doesn’t seem to be satisfied with that rose in a tube. Talk about high maintenance. If you’re a regular Latest 7 reader then you’ll know that over the last 10 weeks we’ve been searching for a new columnist for our City Speak page. Tons of you entered our Columnist Idol competition, and you wrote about everything from colourful family histories and weird viral skin diseases to clubbing at 50 and dating at 70. Thank you to everyone who sent in a column, and everyone who let us print their faces inside a silly showbiz star. And congrats to our two brand spanking new columnists, who will not be releasing a bad cover version and giving a series of interviews about how they just can’t believe it, they really are living the dream, before spending the rest of their lives doing club PAs. Finally, this week’s L7 Interview is with Logan Lerman, star of new film Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief – think Harry Potter with a Greek god for a daddy.

30 LIFESTYLE 30 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink The winners of the Sussex Food And Drink Awards 32 The Hotlist Everything from credit crunch cocktails to posh Indian 33 Dining Deals Cut out and keep discount vouchers for your next meal 35 Health & Beauty Beauty products for Valentine’s Day 36 Kids Creative play for kids with new company Red Jelly

37 WHAT’S ON 37 Stage Brenda Blethyn on returning to the stage in Haunted 38 Music & Club Sax-meister Courtney Pine on his OBE 40 Events Big names and big ideas at the Brighton Science Festival 40 Art Ella, Bowie and The Clash captured in Rockarchive 41 Film What’s showing at your local cinema 44 Gay & Comedy Wild Fruit’s Pink Love Ball; Laughing Horse Comedy 45 Reviews Count Arthur Strong, Rambert Dance, Laura Veirs 46 Sport & TV Adam Virgo’s Off The Pitch; seven-day TV listings guide

Brighton Science Festival Friday 12–28 February Various Brighton venues A Dr Who Dalek will be among the illustrious guests at this year’s Brighton Science Festival – alongside the likes of TV prof Robert Winston. The family-friendly and often free programme takes in everything from psychic dogs to weird tools and even Joni Mitchell’s skin.

Latest on You can now follow Latest 7 and Latest Homes on Twitter. Sign up to your favourite sections and columnists to keep up to date with local entertainments stories, restaurant openings, health and beauty offers, celebrity gossip, property news and more. www.thelatest.co.uk/7/twitter

Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor

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Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson

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Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

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SOCIAL DIARY

Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps the launch of Love Wine and Brighton Women’s Centre’s 35th birthday

Brighton’s Women’s Centre celebrates Brighton Women's Centre celebrated it's 35th anniversary at The Old Market on 27 January, with an event attended by the Deputy Mayor of Brighton, Councillor Garry Peltzer Dunn. Speeches – given by patron Baroness Joyce Gould and Vivienne Hayes, CEO of the Women's Resource Centre – were followed by a buffet and performances.

Rebecca Shipston (Love Wine), Tim Hutchings (Race Director, Brighton Marathon) & Katy Wells (Love Wine)

Councillor Garry Peltzer-Dunn (Deputy Mayor), Dorothy Sheridan (guest speaker), Paula Wilcox (Trustee, BWC), Lisa Dando (Director, BWC), Baroness Joyce Gould (Patron, BWC), Lizzie Ward (Trustee Chair, BWC), Kate Page (guest speaker) & Michael Chowen (Benefactor of BWC)

PR Stephanie St James

Nicky Mitchell (host)

Shelby Wigmore, Lindsay Hill & Jane Madden

Peter Hall (Breaky Bottom Vineyard)

A wine romance The recent launch party of new venture Love Wine at the Hove Club brought out more than 100 enthusiasts on a cold January evening. Guests included Tim Hutchings, Race Director of Brighton Marathon, Master of Wine Tim Wildman, and Peter Hall, proprieter of local vineyard, Breaky Bottom. Guests enjoyed tasting wines supplied by Elwood Wines and Sheridan Coopers Wine Cellar. To find out about future events visit www.lovewinebrighton.com

Jules Mercy (BWC Counselling Service Centre), Mel Withers (Director, Rock Clinic) & Kat Williams (CEO, The Sussex Beacon)

Dorothy Sheridan (guest speaker), Baroness Joyce Gould (Patron, BWC) & Kate Page (guest speaker)


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CITY SPEAK 05

The Early Bird

Teen Spirit

Andrea Fox on the only job that’s better than sleep

Tasha Dhanraj surveys the contents of her bedroom

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ello there. Without wanting to calligraphy set and a pair of high sound too self aware, I should heels – worn once. More recently probably introduce myself. added to the pile of the past is a Rooms say a lot about a person. copy of the book Twilight. I wanted to This is never truer than with a see what the fuss was about, but I teenage girl who is so desperate to needed to prove that I wasn’t being a be unique that she vomits her slave to teenage trends so I bought a individuality all over the walls to German translation of it. I gave up demonstrate to everyone what a after realising that for the whole of quirky person she is. page 21 the only thing I understood So I figure the best way to give was the phrase ‘like an egg’. you an insight into my life is My room is never tidy. It’s because probably to describe my own I’m simply such a creative thinker, I bedroom, which is on the second couldn’t possibly be expected to floor of a force order or characterless structure upon house in the “To prove I wasn’t myself. Structure glamorous destroys my a slave to teenage essence. Essence outskirts of Burgess Hill, where is part of a I live with my Dad, trends I bought a person that they Mum and most can use to blame German translation delightful sister. for all of their I envisage my faults – they’re of Twilight” room as a place to great, you should bring together the get one! greatest musicians of our time by I have patient parents who placing posters of them on adjacent acknowledge that my room must be walls: Meatloaf, Queen, Donny messy to encourage the creative Osmond. Then there are my feeble genius that must pour from my attempts to appear either ironic or tortured soul during slumber. Once kooky by always leaving Christmas every three months my mother decorations up and owning a might come in and tell me she is framed picture of Gordon Brown. concerned that my room is a safety Pasted elsewhere on my walls hazard. She doesn’t understand are hundreds of train tickets I never how genius works. Bless her. binned, despite them all being for Unless you have to share a room, Burgess Hill to Brighton and back then it is the perfect place to again – rarely memorable journeys. express who you really are. As far It is also a place to hide away as I can tell I am a pretentious, my past obsessions and failures. clingy slob. I suppose it is a good There’s my didgeridoo, my thing I contain it within four walls.

hen I was a kid I wanted to to the UK. The only problem I can see be an astronaut. Fastis that taxes would have to be cut on forward a few years and thick curtains. Although there is NO now I work as a radio presenter, so panic like the panic you feel when the only stars I see tend to be of you wake up at 6.30pm thinking it’s the two-legged variety. More 6.30am and you’re late for work. But Sugababes than Orion’s belt. the joy at realising it’s the evening, While there wasn’t much in my oh the joy! Thankfully I’ve never got early years to hint at a vocation in as far as actually getting dressed space travel, my career in radio first and rushing to work. blossomed with my first (pretend) As for the people I’ve been able to show, aged five. I read the news, interview, I’ve been lucky enough to mostly things like favourite meet Girls Aloud, Norman Cook and cartoons, missing skipping ropes councillor Mary Mears. Some are and obituaries for dead pet goldfish. prettier than others (sorry Norm) I made my and mostly very three-year-old nice. I also get to “The time when most meet a variety of brother sing nursery rhymes, local people die is 4.30am interesting and when that people, such as the got boring I student and this is the time I linguistic played the one from Lewes Road, record I owned the Hove based get up for work” at the time. The stunt coordinator theme tune to and Pete, a regular Button Moon. caller who lives in Peacehaven, and Everybody gets used to hearing they all make up the show as well. the same staple questions about I sometimes think what I do is their job. Mine are: “What time do you much like being a train conductor – get up?” and “Who have you met?” odd hours and some perks but I fill Statistically the time of day when the gaps between songs rather most people die is 4.30am and this is than stations. I don’t get free train the time I get up for work. I’ve not travel though. bumped into the grim reaper on the As for the early dreams of space way to work yet, but most of the travel, I never had the grades in people up at that time look like they maths or science or could cope with could be close relatives of his. the g-force very well. I get travelsick It’s not an ideal start time but has going to Horsham so it’s probably for advantages. I’ve embraced the the best. siesta, truly the greatest invention to Listen to The Guy & Andrea Breakfast come from Europe ever – I want to Show on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every petition parliament to introduce them Monday to Friday from 7am

H

Do you work unusual hours? Is your bedroom a triumph of self-expression? Flatmates doing your nut in? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Forced to continue sharing their nest long after they should have parted, and with the added burden of taking on a lodger to help pay the mortgage (that’s me, the freeloading cuckoo), they now channel Will Harris plays flatmate piggy in the middle most of their energy into firing off passive-aggressive emails to each other and copying me hings are not good. My flatmate isn’t talking to me in. “Thanks so much for (having spotted me wearing his most expensive suit “They channel their using up a whole box of without permission on the party pages of OK! detergent,” one of them energy into firing off magazine, he has revoked my wardrobe privileges and put types. “No problem,” replies a chubb lock on his bedroom door), and E is on a dance the other. “I should be thanking passive-aggressive job in Birmingham all week, exploring his instrument with you for eating my Branston Pickle and putting the empty a troupe of Hungarians. emails to each other jar back in the fridge.” The beauty of this is, they’re so That these two thunderbolts have struck at the same busy needling each other, they have yet to notice my and copying me in” room smells like a ploughman’s and my whites are time is the killer. Ordinarily I’d fill a week without my better half by doing things with my flatmate – watching shining brighter than the sun. YouTube videos of skinny models falling off catwalks, for I’ve tried to tell them to look on me as neutral ground. example – but that’s not going to happen while I’m being given the silent I’m Switzerland, I say; safe, non-commital Switzerland, home of the cuckoo treatment with such intensity I feel like Helen Keller. I’ve even considered clock and the Pentobarbital syringe. But it’s difficult not to get drawn into a spending time with our other flatmate, just to break the monotony but, as the domestic when you have two 29-year-old men storming off to opposite pair of them are ex-boyfriends who hate each other, I fear this may be viewed ends of the apartment over who gets to sit on the big sofa during Glee. as a declaration of war. Little wonder that, having witnessed first-hand how bad things can get, I’m It’s a funny set-up, our apartment, and one not dissimilar to the House of not mad on the idea of co-habiting any time soon. Which is just as well really, Borgia: stunning décor, but you have to sleep with one eye open. They bought as I’m less likely to get a mortgage than I am to start buying my own the place as a love-nest three years ago, when the pound was high and their condiments. Or my own suits. desire to poison each other’s cornflakes was still low. Then Lehman Brothers collapsed, their relationship turned to ashes, and they’ve been held to follow me on twitter latestwill ransom by the grim spectre of negative equity ever since.

William Tells

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bali brasserie - valentines

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St Valentine's Dinner Dance with Live Music A Romantic Evening with a Tropical Glow THE INTRODUCTION Sup Rasa Sayang – An exotic hot & sour chicken & vegetable soup with a hint of coconut served with giant Javanese prawn crackers ••••••••••••••• THE OVERTURES Satay Ayam – The famous char-grilled chicken delicacy of the Far East served with garnish and spicy peanut sauce ••••••••••••••• THE HEART OF THE MATTER We invite our customers to help themselves from our delightful hot buffet:

Keripik – Peanuts and potato crisps in a dry caramel sauce of chilli, onion, peppers and lemon grass Indonesian Salad – Mixed salad in a light dressing Nasi Kuning – Saffron rice Accompaniment – Sambal Blacan hot chilli shrimp paste ••••••••••••••• LOVER’S NEST Mango & mascarpone cheesecake served on a bed of mango coulis OR fresh kiwi, melon, grapes served in a tropical liqueur with cream OR passion fruit sorbet ••••••••••••••• A COSY FINISH – Coffee with mints

Daging Tiram – Beef cooked in oyster sauce with ginger and green peppers

•••••••••••••••

Udang Sambal – King prawns in a spicy tomato and red pepper sauce with a hint of coconut

£19.95 + 10% service

Ayam Kari – Boneless breast of chicken in a distinctive Malaysian style curry sauce

A fish or vegetarian version of this menu is available

Kachang Mera Gulai – Red kidney beans in a delicate coconut sauce flavoured with limeleaves and lemon grass Sajur Tumis – Seasonal stir-fry of mixed vegetables Mee Goreng – Soft noodles fried with egg and vegetables

www.balibrasserie.co.uk

Open 7 days a week for lunch 12.30–2.00pm and dinner 6.30–10.30pm/11.00pm Friday/Saturday


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VBITES 07

VBites of wisdom Heather Mills on DIY fashion and Mother’s Day gifts

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pring is here. It won't be long before the daffodils are out and most people are thinking about buying something new for that gorgeous summer we are going to have! But how about doing something with the clothing you already have instead of buying a whole new wardrobe for the change of season? Dyes can be inexpensive and lots are now vegetable-based and environmentally friendly. Why not get those old favourites out of the wardrobe and freshen them up with a new colour, or sew on some added detail? In essence, my new ethical fashion label Be@One will be

doing just that, and I look forward to revealing the collection to you in the near future. As the days start getting longer, I think it’s important to promote selfsufficiency. We can start to plan our summer crops, sowing our seeds in a timely fashion to achieve the best results. Even the smallest of outdoor spaces, a balcony, can be used to grow crops for your table. And with Valentine’s Day this week and Mother's Day looming on 14 March, start thinking outside the box about gifts. You don't have to

have a fortune to create thoughtful presents. Why not get some nontoxic paint and rejuvenate some old plant pots with a seed of your choice in each? February is a good time to start off some seedlings, so why not say it with tomatoes? If space and time are not on your side, buy some reasonably priced olive oil and cut a few twigs of rosemary or a similarly decorative herb. Put the herbs in the fanciest bottles you can find along with some garlic cloves, top up with the oil and print off your own labels with something like, 'Nothing says I love you more than garlic infused with rosemary.....'. This works with all kinds of things from basil to chili, and you can do the same with pickles or jams you may have left over. It might be an inexpensive present, but it is highly personalised and original – something I know I’d be flattered to receive.

Do you like to make or customise your own clothes? comment@thelatest.co.uk

“Why not get those old favourites out of the wardrobe and freshen them up? In essence, my new ethical fashion label will be doing just that”

Heather’s

DIARY

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Heather poses in one of the pieces from Be@One, her new fashion line of recycled and re-modelled pieces

Calling all earth mothers! Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com See website for winter opening times

This mother's day, come down to VBites to celebrate all things ‘motherly’ with our mother earth day. On Sunday 14 March VBites will be hosting a special day to not only celebrate mothers, but also our mother nature. Events and activities will be going on throughout the day, with prizes and giveaways for our deserving mothers. Call 01273 933757 to book now!

ur singles night falls on Saturday 13 February this week, and it looks set to be a great-fun evening. We have a selection of Reiki healers to correct your centre and leave you revitalised. There's an angel card reader who will tell you what to expect in your love life in the months to come, and a masseuse to bust that stress in your neck and shoulders. We have flowers from the fabulous Flowers Unlimited and a star prize from Champneys in our raffle. There will also be board games and prizes, plus our usual fabulous menu filled with special treats.

Love is in the air Book your table now for VBites Singles night on 13 February.

see you – Heather


008_LS460_newsphil/Council

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08 LATEST NEWS

L7 News

7

days of headlines with Phil Mills

Brighton and Hove City Council’s parking fine profits exposed, plus Lewes’ sealife surprise

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t is stretched over too vast an area to provide comprehensive TV news to any particular community. But BBC South Today deserves credit this week for exposing what it billed as a grand-scale rip off by Brighton and Hove City Council. Its reporter, Paul Clifton, nosed around and discovered the city council makes £25 a year profit from parking fines for every adult in the city – five times more than the typical council in the south. And from residents permits and parking meters the council makes £60 per adult or almost £13 million in total – and no other council makes even half as much. Councillor Geoffrey Theobald, the council’s environment cabinet member, was filmed in the item attempting to justify the charges and fines, saying all the money the council receives goes towards “parking improvements and safety measures” such as cycle racks for schools and buses to take children to school, improvements that would otherwise be funded by monies from general council funds. In contrast, Newbury Council in Berkshire was quoted as saying it is happy to keep parking fees and fines down and to subsidise them as a service to the community and to help shoppers and shopkeepers, especially during hard economic times such as these.

Rip off or not, Brighton and Hove City Council will once again be accused of punishing motorists for having the audacity to own vehicles, the temerity to actually drive them, and the impudence to want to park them. The city council has a serious perception problem. Whether it likes it or not, it comes across as anti-car and anti-motorist. Many businesses would testify that the council is money-grabbing and punitive, squeezing private vehicles into gridlocked centre lanes, dissuading people from driving anywhere near the city centre, expanding the parking permit system to outlying streets and overcharging and over-fining drivers. Tough policies governing vehicles may well be needed but the council needs to hear a common complaint

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears addresses complaints about unlawful van-dwelling

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air, consistent and responsible enforcement of the law is one of my top priorities as leader of the council and I think that we generally have a very good track record of working with the police and other agencies to address matters of concern to residents – for example our nationally recognised management of the effects of latenight drinking in the city. Therefore, at last week’s Full Council meeting, I raised the issue of van dwellers who are appearing in increasing numbers on the streets

in the city – that the council and residents are drifting apart; that there is now a “them and us” feeling, that the council and people are no longer on the same side. Is the city council ripping off and punishing motorists, and has Brighton and Hove become a “them and us” city? Let Latest 7 know how you feel. Moving on to lighter subjects, check out Stephen Lawrence’s photograph of a seal apparently waving, snapped last week as it swam in the River Ouse near Lewes, some three miles from the sea where it normally resides. The experts say one or two seals come inland every winter looking for fish but, as Stephen said: “They seem to get closer to Lewes every year – one day we’ll see them hopping down the high street looking for a fish shop.” In other animal news, shame on the person who stuffed an unwanted puppy into an old rucksack and dumped it outside city animal welfare offices. But there is a bright side. Officer Maggi Holland said: “Apart from being cold and frightened, he’s in good health – and a new home for the Pointer/Lab cross has already been found.”

latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Dear Latest 7, Brighton Festival Fringe is looking for new Trustees – can any Latest 7 readers help? We’re a registered charity and our voluntary board of trustees have legal responsibility for ensuring the Fringe fulfils its charitable objectives and other obligations (they’re also in an enviable position for observing all the behind-the-scenes madness and excitement of the Fringe). We’re particularly hoping to attract new Board members with technical expertise and knowledge of new media and digital industries, or with commercial development experience. The Fringe is one of the largest and fastest growing open access arts festivals in the world. If you’d like to help us keep evolving and think you have the skills we’re looking for, please contact the Fringe office on 01273 764900 or email info@brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk for an application pack. Kate Morrison Press Officer, Brighton Festival Fringe, www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk [Re Columnist Idol: Rosie Gifford, L7 457] Very cool, love the contrast between Grandma and Dad’s influence on the memories of Brighton and Hove. Time to dust off my heels and visit the fun life and lights. Ioonah Woods, via www.thelatest.co.uk [Re Columnist Idol: Sarah Charsley, L7 459] Sharp and smart. And, crucially, clearly a voice that can talk about many and varied topics. Limerence, via www.thelatest.co.uk

Are motorists being punished? comment@thelatest.co.uk follow me on twitter

and highways of Brighton and Hove. I know that this is a very sensitive issue but I firmly believe that when residents are coming to me complaining in such numbers (as they are doing on this issue), it is our duty as elected representatives to respond to the matter. Living in a van on a public highway without the owners (ie the council’s) consent is unlawful but the current powers we have to address it are simply not effective. As things stand, if we move a van dweller on from one street, they can just move around the corner to the next street and the process has to start all over again. Clearly, this is not good and efficient use of anyone’s time or money and the sooner we can get a workable solution the better. With this in mind, I have decided to set up a working group to look into how we can resolve this problem. At the council meeting, opposition councillors suggested we should set aside some designated council land where van dwellers can live without the problems associated with living on the street.

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

latest7news

For my part, I think that we need to be allowed by government to set up a local bylaw which will prevent the ridiculous situation I have described above. Whatever the outcome of the group’s deliberations, it is clear that this is an issue which is growing in significance for a lot of residents in the city and a response is urgently needed.


009_LS461_Bookings/Comps/chart

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BOOKINGS | COMPETITIONS | CHART 09

L7 Bookings

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

On sale this week…

Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest 1 NDE – I Got A Feeling 2 Tenek – Submission 3 Jaybee – The Wild Wild East 4 Chaos Borne – I Will Scouting For Girls

5 Panos Christofi – I'll Never Know

MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

Brighton Centre, 11 December, £32.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk The presenter and boogie woogie stickler has announced his now pretty much annual Christmas visit to Brighton, this year with Alison Moyet guesting alongside staple Ruby Turner and Louise Marshall.

15 May, Concorde 2, £tbc, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 If you missed out on tickets to see this designated ‘sound of 2010’ at Audio on Monday, here’s another chance to catch the Greco-Welsh siren, following the release of debut LP Family Jewels.

THE BOOTLEG BEATLES

ROBYN HITCHCOCK

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 4 December, £23.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Another near-fixture on the Christmas calendar, this tribute act have played more than 4,000 gigs – gotta count for something.

Komedia, 19 April, £12.50, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk The wonderfully odd psych-rock iconoclast (recently seen on the Brighton Dome stage in Nick Drake tribute Way To Blue), tours new album Propellor Time (out 22 March).

JOOLS HOLLAND

SCOUTING FOR GIRLS Brighton Centre, 24 May, £22.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk She’s so luverly, she’s so luverly, she’s so luverly, she’s so luverly-y. Yeah, those. Playing from second album Everybody Wants To Be On TV, due to hit like a brick in April.

THE ANTLERS Hanbury Ballroom, 5 March, £8, 01273 605789, www.thehanbury.com Arcade Fire-ish stuff from the Brooklyn (surprise!) act who’s debut LP Hospice has been hailed in some quarters as an instant classic.

COMPETITIONS HALF-TERM TREATS Keep your little darlings occupied over the half-term holiday with The Classic Children’s Television Quiz Book (Apex Publishing Ltd, 01255 428 500), covering shows from Dr Who to Sponge Bob, and a DVD of The Clifton House Mystery Complete Series starring Peter Sallis. Q Which popular animation does Peter Sallis voice?

STAR READS Celebrities’ Favourite Books contains 100 letters detailing celebs fave reads, while Celebrities’ Favourite Football Teams is a firsthand insight into who our celebs holler at from the stands (both Apex Publishing Ltd on 01255 428 500). We’re offering copies of both.

Q Which ex-footballer starred in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels?

SIGNED COPIES OF LUBIN TALES Will Self recently compared Lubin Tales, the collection of ‘micro-fictions’ from writer Gerry King and illustrator Louise Burston, to Lewis Carroll. We have three signed copies, plus three packs of greetings cards, courtesy of City Books, Western Road, Hove. Q Who wrote the poem ‘Jabberwocky’?

WIN!

TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,

EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 22 February.

6 Clockworks – Fairytales 7 Clockworks – The Ones That Leave 8 Panos Christofi – In My Mind 9 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind Of Love 10 Tenek – State Of Mind A few new entries this week and consequently, we have a new number one, with moody dance duo NDE taking the top spot with their eyebrow-raising take on The Black Eyed Peas hit, ‘I Got A Feeling’. Slightly cybergoth DJ Tenek takes two with the catchy ‘Submission’ as L7 fave and Columnist Idol star Jaybee makes a welcome return to the charts with his Asian-inspired electro-pop number ‘The Wild Wild East’. Yet another shadowy dance act, Chaos Borne, meanwhile, takes four as yes, you guessed it, Panos Christofi completes the top five.

CALLING ALL UNSIGNED MUSICIANS! WIN YOURSELF A FREE INDUSTRY REVIEW WITH LATEST 7 Latest 7 has hooked up with Unsigned Band Review to offer users of the Latest Brighton Chart a fantastic opportunity. Unsigned Band Review (www.unsignedbandreview.com) is a site that bridges the gap between musicians and the music industry. On 11 March they are holding a showcase gig at the Prince Albert – and one of the bands playing on the night will be selected from among the most successful acts in this chart’s history. Up until March, the Number One artist each week will receive a free industry review from one of Unsigned Band Review’s panel of professionals, including reps from NME and Warner. Oh, and the guy who signed Duffy. Also up for grabs are free single release packages with Zimbalam. All you need to do is continue to submit your music to this chart, and sign up FREE to Unsigned Band Review (www.unsignedbandreview.com)

VIEW THE FULL CHART, LISTEN TO TRACKS AND SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC OR VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart


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10 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Pasha De La Mere du Valentine aka ‘The Countess’

The Countess was born on 1 January when I was watching The Princess Diaries and got lost in regal fantasies. They grew and grew and before I knew it I had turned my home in Castle Street into a palace and was putting up family portraits. Now I’m planning a Pride float with my maid...

Pasha rehearsing her performance art creation, ‘The Countess’, who you’ll be able to catch in street performances throughout the Brighton Festival Fringe, or seek an audience with on her blog, www.goddamngorgeous.com/the_countess. Pasha also makes short fictional films under Goddamn Media Productions.

the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights

call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk manchester street, brighton

tel. 01273 687171

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar


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2/5/10

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CELEBCITY 11

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Behind the scenes at Sundance, plus Katie and Alex tie the knot, and comedian’s £1m price tag

Sundance supersized!

I

spent last week in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival – high on the famously icy slopes of Park City. Sundance is the brainchild of Hollywood legend Robert Redford and this year had a new director, John Cooper. Bob, as he likes to be known, entertained us with anecdotes from film sets gone by. Along with Huw Penallt Jones of the festival’s associate sponsors De Lane Lea (pictured with me right), we spotted quite a few celebs including the brilliant Chris Morris, showing his new film Four Lions. And we literally bumped into one of my fave docu makers, Michael Moore, who was picking up his passes at Sundance HQ. We also cadged a lift from filmmaker and 2010 Sundance judge Morgan Spurlock, of Supersize Me fame, and gave him some good old British humour to think about!

OWN A GENUINE WHISTLER! AT A COST... It may be a small, crude painting of a scooter – but Matt Whistler is asking for a whopping £1m for his first foray into the art world. The Brighton comedian, who’s broken two world records on his scooter, is no stranger to imaginative stunts. But you never know, this one might just pay off – he says he’s already had contact with Saatchi. If he does manage to sell the painting for the asking price (in cash, and hand-delivered), Matt says his first priority will be to pay off the £800 in fees he still owes to Brighton drama school ACT. But not before he and fellow Brighton comic Dave Thompson (best known for having played Tinky Winky in Teletubbies) have organised a 30-day tour during which all the drinks would be free. Their inspiration, Matt explains, is the 1985 Richard Pryor film Brewster's Millions. Got a million going spare? Visit www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Whistler/561674606

LOVE (AND OK! MAGAZINE) IN LAS VEGAS So Katie and Alex have tied the knot in a secret ceremony in Las Vegas. Rumour has it that a camera crew and an OK! magazine team were in attendance – contrary to the publicist statement, “Their decision to marry has not been made with any pre-conceived commercial plan or media deal in place, and their reason for getting married is purely down to their love for each other.” There was no-one more shocked than me when Hove-based cage-fighter Alex walked away as the winner of Celebrity Big Brother – normally the only title he is used to winning is a gold belt in the ring! In its final and some have said best year, Katie Price's boyfriend defied the odds and came top beating off Vinnie Jones and Dane Bowers. Dave Gedge, singer of the After the show and various interviews, Alex told Alan Carr Wedding Present, watching the footie in the Providence that he is desperate to start a family with pub in Hove. “our” Katie. He told the tabloid, “I'd love to have lots of children, I love them. Kate is someone I totally connect SPOTTED! with. I am just besotted with her. She is my someone to talk to, my confidante Ex-Eastenders slim line Jess star and now very and my love, all of that soppy stuff.” So loved-up, ie dining on Oyste Wallace (Kat Slater) rs in the Rege it seems, that he decided he couldn’t wait for the ncy fish restaurant in Re massive summer wedding he’d spoken about just Jessie, I am tol gency Square. d, had spent th days before! Meanwhile Katie hasn't been resting previous night e stayin Pelirocco hotel g at the on her laurels as her fourth biography is due on our in the sa me square. shelves in Waterstones very soon.

SPOTTED!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

follow me on twitter Michael Moore

latestcelebcity

Morgan Spurlock

10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday, until 31 March, excluding Valentine’s Day. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 13

It must be love If Cupid’s arrow has struck your heart, then make this Valentine’s Day one to remember

T

ry as you might, you will be hard pressed to find any historically recorded links between Saint Valentine and romance. In fact, there are at least three different Saint Valentines, none of whom showed any great interest in lurve. The Catholic Church even deleted Saint Valentine from their official calendar back in 1969. But we’re not going to let “The first reference to any of that dampen our ardour. No indeed, any excuse Saint Valentine and love for a little indulgent love... February the 14th is the came in Chaucer’s day for showing the person you love how you feel. It’s Canterbury Tales – time for hearts and flowers, and we all know what romantic gestures, chocolates and jewels, and perhaps something that little a saucy old goat that bit more personal. Geoffrey was!” So go mad, break open the Champagne, book that candlelit dinner and break out the sexy undies. Who knows where it might lead, by February the 15th you could be looking at wedding arrangements! Of course, the nicest thing about a Valentine is the surprise: book the dinner, but why not book a hotel room too as a special extra course? Valentine’s Day is not only for lovers. It’s also for those of you who have a secret love. Now is the time to make your mark. Oh, we know you’re not meant to sign the card, but what is the point in that? At least, if you do remain anonymous, leave a decent clue. How else will the gesture stand any chance of paying off? If there is someone special who is unaware of your feelings then take the plunge and send one of Cupid’s arrows right at your target. Remember, if you don’t ask you won’t get. They might say no, but who knows, they could say yes and change the course of your life.

When it comes to Valentine’s gifts it’s good to go traditional, but do remember that champagne and chocolate in excess do not work well and may put pay to plans of an amorous nature. Here at Latest 7 we prescribe a great card (unsigned but with that all important clue), fabulous flowers (preferably delivered and in a public space like your loved one’s place of work), and dinner à deux – but do book a restaurant, as they will be packed all weekend. And don’t drink too much either if you want to stay on top of the game. By the way, the first reference to Saint Valentine and love came in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales – and we all know what a saucy old goat that Geoffrey was!

The Treatment Rooms

Lina Nyberg Photography

Nestled in the heart of Brighton’s theatre land, The Treatment Rooms offers a haven of pampering, wellbeing and results-driven treatments. Established for 14 years, The Treatment Rooms provides a beautiful, calm environment, where exceptional service and standards are coupled with top quality treatments. The space comprises of 10 spacious therapy rooms – one being a double room, a beautiful relaxation room and a mani/pedi station. Treatments are conducted by outstanding therapists and product houses include Aromatherapy Associates, Eve Lom, Espa, Dibi, Crystal Clear and The Refinery. The Treatment Rooms Ritual (£165, three hours) is a complete treatment to relax the mind, revive the soul, and leave skin looking and feeling soft and nourished. Based on the Aromatherapy Associates Renew Rose range, the therapy includes an all-over exfoliation, wrap, full body massage (including hot stones) and a luxurious rose-based aromatherapy facial. Three hours of pure bliss makes this an extremely popular Valentine’s gift. For other Valentine’s Day treats, the Eve Lom Full Facial (£115, 85 minutes) combines a deep cleanse with lymphatic drainage and relaxation massage. Facial muscles are warmed with a paraffin mask and camomile eye pads refresh the sensitive skin around the eyes. The Romance Ritual (£210, two hours) is a treatment to enjoy as a couple. Two therapists work on a couple, aided with soft candlelight and gentle music, to bring about balance and harmony. Starting with a full body exfoliation followed by a soothing massage to ease tired and tense muscles, an aromatherapy facial with pressure point massage on the face and scalp completes the treatment. If you’d rather let your loved one decide, treat them to a gift voucher, which are available online and at the reception. The Treatment Rooms, 21 New Road, Brighton, BN1 1UF. Open every day. 01273 818444, www.thetreatmentrooms.com

Looking for something a bit different for your wedding photos? Lina is a local female photographer who offers unique and contemporary images of your wedding celebrations. Focusing on fun, atmosphere and story-telling, she captures your wedding celebrations in images that will let you relive just how special your day was in years to come. Lina offers different packages to suit your needs as well as hand-bound coffee table books and photo albums, and is happy to talk to you about any special requirements you may have. Lina Nyberg Photography, 07776 187 769, www.linaphotography.com


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL

Star bright Spend a romantic evening at The Star hotel and restaurant in Alfriston this Valentine’s To celebrate Valentine’s Day, enjoy a romantic candlelit dinner on Saturday 13 February at The Star hotel and restaurant in Alfriston. A delicious four-course menu of aphrodisiac cuisine awaits you, in the rustic and cosy atmosphere of the popular countryside hotel and restaurant. The cost for this Valentine’s meal is just £35 per person, and for those wishing to stop over, The Star offers accommodation, morning newspaper with breakfast in bed and a late check-out for just £85 per room. Early booking is essential as space is now limited. For those of you planning a wedding, The Star would like to invite you to their wedding fair on Sunday 28 February from 11am to 4pm, with free fizz, canapés and car parking. On the day, visitors can also enjoy a free head massage, sample the chocolate fountains and also have the chance to win a weekend’s stay at The Star. The Star hotel and restaurant, High Street, Alfriston, BN26 5TA, 01323 870495, www.thestaralfriston.co.uk


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COVER FEATURE 15 “This unusual but stunning piece can be engraved with a romantic personalised message, or even a magical proposal”

Love’s charm Express your love with a gift this Valentine’s Day from the ever individual Jeremy Hoye

Y

ou’re just one click away from the one you love with Jeremy-Hoye.com this Valentine’s Day! Jeremy Hoye is one of the UK’s leading contemporary jewellery designers, and among his exquisite collections are the most gorgeously romantic pieces that will ensure shopping for your Valentine has never been easier. If you are looking to pop the question this Valentine’s Day, Jeremy Hoye is your perfect match. With his expertise in the wedding/ engagement ring field, Jeremy has created bespoke designs for many couples. For something really unique, lavish the one you love with the beautiful Russian Doll locket charm necklace. This unusual but stunning piece comes with its very own scroll, which can be engraved with a romantic personalised message of your choice, or even a magical proposal. The intricate design and attention to detail makes this charm truly special for your true love. In addition to the Russian Doll charm, Jeremy Hoye has a vast range of pretty charms that will beautifully adorn any charm bracelet. Don’t just give your own heart away this Valentine’s: Jeremy Hoye’s delicate Entwine silver heart locket is a gorgeous design, clasped by

precious vines – an ideal gift to express your love. With its hugely original locket, your Valentine will truly be the envy of fashionistas everywhere. The angelic Cherub charm is a new edition to Jeremy’s Charmed collection and can be worn on a necklace or charm bracelet. Holding a heart in its hands, this charm was lovingly designed by Jeremy with l’amour in mind. It’s an intimate token of love that will be treasured by its wearer forever. For a more distinctive Hoye look, the dramatic Triffid silver pave set heart necklace is a bold statement piece, set on a funky, multi-chain necklace, available in black, white or purple cubics. The new Love Spinner necklace is romantic retro and makes a great Valentine’s gift. Spin the pretty flower and the word ‘love’ is displayed – a real nod to the ’70s! Whether it’s a necklace, bracelet, elegant engagement or eternity ring, Jeremy Hoye offers an eclectic collection of gifts for Valentine’s Day, for both men and women, available online and at his famous Brighton store. A charming way to shop this Valentine’s Day. Jeremy Hoye, 22a Ship Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1AD, 0845 094 3175, www.jeremy-hoye.com (view new collections and sign up for their newsletter online.)


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 17

She’s electric Heads will turn and sparks will fly this Valentine’s with Electric Hairdressing To show their love and gratitude to you, the client, Electric Hairdressing in Brighton offers a Luxury Glamour Package, making the perfect gift for a loved one or a delightful treat for yourself this Valentine’s. Get gorgeous for 14 February with Electric’s luxury package to include: deluxe wash and blow-dry with a deluxe shiatsu head massage to leave your hair soft, sexy and stylish; custom manicure – the ultimate treatment for the best dressed hands and nails, and a glass of champagne to celebrate the glamorous new you! The Luxury Glamour Package is available for the special price of just £40, saving over £20. Not forgetting the man in your life, Electric has the perfect treatment for him, too. Treat your man to any Murad facial or a massage including deep tissue, back, neck and shoulder massage (£35), sensational eyes treatment (£30), or a luxury deep exfoliating facial (£60), and Electric will treat you to a luxury custom manicure worth £22 completely free. It’s the ideal way to spoil your loved one and yourself at the same time this Valentine’s Day. Electric Hairdressing, 18–19 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 202088, www.electric-hair.com


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 19

Gresham Blake Love is in the air, so look no further than Gresham Blake for a truly unique gift this Valentine’s Day, guaranteed to set any heart a-flutter. With a full range of women’s and menswear now available, your loved one will be well catered for this Valentine’s at Gresham Blake’s Brighton store. From a fully bespoke service, the height of affordable luxury, right through to shirts and accessories, all items are individually designed by Gresham, with a distinctive touch guaranteed to get pulses racing. For the lady in your life there is the women’s special order service, allowing clients to select fabric and lining from limited collections, for a totally original look. Stunning jackets, trousers, waistcoats and corseted skirts can also be purchased from their fabulous ready-towear collection.

Silk Tie – Made in England, £65

Collar Stiffeners, £25

For gents, the made-to-measure service has thousands of fabrics and linings to choose from, many of which are exclusive to Gresham Blake, and a collection of off-the-peg suits with a fitting and minor adjustments included in the price. As well as the services offered above there is a wide selection of contemporary, shirts, ties, scarves and accessories for both men and women, all of which are designed exclusively by Gresham Blake and are available at the Brighton store. If you’re unsure of what to choose, gift vouchers are also available. So, with items to suit any budget, wear your heart on your sleeve this year and give that special person in your life a gift that they are truly worthy of. Gresham Blake, 20 Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 609587, info@grashamblake.com, www.greshamblake.com

Love Cufflinks, £35


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL

Felbridge Hotel Treat your loved one this Valentine’s Day to a spa treatment at The Felbridge Hotel and Spa and receive 20 per cent off! The Chakra Spa at The Felbridge Hotel and Spa is an area of pure indulgence where you can relax and unwind while rejuvenating your mind, body and soul in peaceful surroundings. The spa has five treatment rooms, two Jessica nail bars and hair salon, as well as a relaxing steam room, sauna, swimming pool and Jacuzzi. Lunch can be taken in the QUBE Bar or Bay Tree Restaurant before you return for more pampering, and with 20 per cent off there’s even more reason to treat yourself and loved ones! The Felbridge Hotel and Spa, London Road, East Grinstead, West Sussex, RH19 2BH, 01342 337700, www.felbridgehotel.co.uk 20% Spa discount Bring a copy of this magazine along with you and you will be entitled to 20 per cent off all spa treatments or spa days in February 2010, (Monday to Thursdays only) at the award-winning Felbridge Hotel and Spa in East Grinstead. To claim your offer, call 01342 337755 to book your treatments quoting the reference ‘Latest 7’. This reference must be quoted in advance and is only valid on treatments booked and taken in February 2010. This advert must be presented on arrival and can only be used once.


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 21

Pelham House Getting married is one of the most joyous – and busy – times of your life. There’s the dress, hair, make-up, cars and cake to consider, not to mention flowers and the church to worry about, and that all important reception venue. Looking for a wedding venue with that ‘wow factor’? Pelham House hotel and restaurant, a 16th Century Sussex town house nestled in the heart of Lewes, is arguably one of the best wedding venues in the region.

The experienced team, led by wedding planner Liza Whiffin, will guide couples through the many preparations for their special day. A stylish venue combining elegance, history and design, the four-star rated Pelham House has built a solid reputation for weddings and civil ceremonies. They will be hosting a wedding fair on Sunday 28 March 2010, meaning a rare and fantastic opportunity to see the house in its full glory, set for a special day.

Pick up inspiration and ideas from their suppliers to help you add the finishing touches to your wedding. With complimentary admission from 11am to 4pm, canapés and a glass of bubbly – there is no better way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Pelham House, Saint Andrews Lane, Lewes, BN7 1UW, 01273 488600/485629 (wedding co-ordinator Liza Whiffin), email weddings@pelhamhouse.com, www.pelhamhouse.com


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Julian Stephens When the usual clichéd Valentine’s gifts just aren’t enough, say ‘I love you’ with a meaningful gift that’s made with passion, love and care. Julian Stephens Goldsmith is passionate about unique, individual, hand-crafted jewellery, lovingly made in their inspirational Brighton shop. Whether hand picking from a sumptuous selection of vibrant red rubies and hot pink sapphires, set in lavish platinum or 18ct gold, or selecting from their fantastic range of silver Valentine’s gifts, let the team’s expertise guide you in a relaxed environment. Julian’s stunning silver double heart pendants are a must see. Two beautifully hand-pierced hearts, one larger than the other, hang from a silver chain. This timeless necklace is simple and classic in design, and has a matching solid silver bangle with heart charms. Heart pendants are priced at £75 and £85, with the matching bangle at £120. Or if you prefer, make a statement with the delicious cocktail ring aptly named 'Ruby Cooler'. Sumptuous silver curves form themselves around a large round cut synthetic ruby that exudes a magnificent ruby red glow. This show-stopping ring would look fabulous worn to an equally spectacular event. It’s handmade heaven at £260. Pay Julian Stephens a visit and you will see why they were shortlisted for Best Independent Retailer at last year’s Brighton and Hove Business Awards! Julian Stephens Goldsmith, 37 Gloucester Road, Brighton, BN1 4AQ, 01273 692110, www.julianstephens.com


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 25

Perfection Bridal and Menswear Perfection Bridal and Menswear has been trading in Hove for 24 years, offering a fantastic selection of bridal gowns with a style and budget to suit every bride. The new 2010 Perfection collection is absolutely stunning with fitted ruched bodiced gowns in silk and taffeta, to full Hollywood glamour beaded gowns; it really is a collection not to be missed. Perfection also stock collections from Amanda Wyatt, Mori lee and Trudy Lee. They offer an exclusive bridesmaid collection, with prices starting at just £125. All colours are available with matching men’s cravats and hankies making it so simple to co-ordinate your wedding. Perfection Menswear can offer a hire package for £59.95 to include jacket, trousers, waistcoat, cravat and hankie, with a style and quality that’s second to none. Perfection Bridal and Menswear, 52 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1JD, 01273 323046, brighton@perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk, www.perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk

• New 2010 collections now in store • Fantastic selection of bridesmaid dresses available from age 2 to size 30 • Interest free monthly payments • Menswear hire, package deal £59.95

52 Western Road, Hove (Near Palmeira Square) Metered parking on seafront

Tel: 01273 323046 brighton@perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk

www.perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk


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Welcome to Chambers Bistro Shoreham Pan-seared king scallops on cauliflower puree with confit beetroot and crispy carrot Appetiser board of salami, sunblushed tomatoes and cornichons Hand rolled duck and rocket rolls in light filo pastry with a dark plum dip Twice baked Sussex goats cheese souffle, balsamic grapes and tarragon Chargrilled squid with romesco sauce and crispy leeks Confit of slow roasted pork belly with savoy cabbage and coarse grain mustard mash, glazed apple Pan-fried duck breast, carrot puree, pak choi and rosemary roasted plums

Chargrilled rib-eye steak with blue cheese and peppercorn sauce, crispy onion rings and hand cut chips "Chambers" fish and chips in local Harveys beer batter with hand cut chips and tartare sauce Fried halloumi, cherry tomato and pinenut stuffed mushroom with sweet potato and lemon thyme gratin Lambs liver with crispy bacon, sage jus and crushed new potatoes Fish of the day Double chocolate and pistachio brownie with vanilla pod ice cream Spiced orange creme brulee and shortbread biscuits

Sunday @ Chambers Chambers will be bringing you fantastic roast lunches with seasonal vegetables and home made Yorkshire puddings varying week to week using prime cuts of meat served from 12 noon. To accompany your meal try a half carafe of our house white red or rose wine for only ÂŁ7.50. The a la carte menu will run along side our roast lunch menu. With three young children of our own, children are very welcome at "Chambers" with high chairs and colouring in provided. Parking in the area is FREE!!! Chambers.......the place to be in Shoreham by sea

tel no 01273 446677

www.chambersbistro.co.uk

email: info@chambersbistro.co.uk


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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 27

Ann Prescott Designs Bring your dream wedding to life with Ann Prescott’s friendly and personal design service. She can advise you on fabrics and designs for your own unique dress, as well as bridesmaids, page boys, headdress and veils – and can even assist with what your family and friends wear on the day. Your own personal toile is made for you, and several fittings will ensure your dress fits perfectly. As you stand in your beautiful handcrafted garments, exquisitely finished and fitting like a second skin, you will be glad you met Ann Prescott. Contact Ann via phone or email to arrange an informal chat and to see how she can help make your wedding day memorable. Ann Prescott Designs, 17 Granville Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1TG, 01273 271305, 07800 820 345, info@annprescott.co.uk, www.annprescott.co.uk

Neo Hotel Make this Valentine’s Day romantic and fun with The Neo Hotel’s special Valentine’s offers. If you don’t fancy the all too familiar, commercial (read cheesy) Valentine’s, but want to treat your partner to a pampering getaway – then step into The Neo with its warm, friendly and elegant vibe. The Neo Hotel is a venue where they excel at giving couples a truly individual time. Guests get to stay in an elegant Georgian town house by the sea, close to the vibrant hub of Brighton’s lanes and cultural quarter. The nine beautifully wallpapered rooms are decorated in modern and vintage style, and bathrooms feature black mosaic tiles and the hotel’s own organic aromatherapy toiletries. Breakfasts are freshly cooked to order and are included in the room price. The hotel also includes Space massage and beauty therapy, run by Emma, a former masseuse to Elle Macpherson, and whose treatments come very highly recommended. The Neo Hotel are offering some very special mix-and-match Valentine’s packages which include: a welcome glass of Champagne on arrival in the cocktail bar while you check in, a three-course dinner in the lovely dining room, a customised aromatherapy couples massage, two nights bed and breakfast. Dinner, bed and breakfast, plus couples massage packages available from £340; bed and breakfast, plus couples massage only from £300; room only or dinner only options also available. The Neo Hotel, 19 Oriental Place, Brighton, BN1 2LL, 01273 711104, info@neohotel.com, www.neohotel.com

Chambers Bistro Chambers is a fantastic new little bistro in the beautiful Old Town Hall premises on Shoreham High Street. The bistro is independantly run by a family with a wealth of experience and a team dedicated to providing a fantastic and memorable dining experience. It’s very relaxed, informal, stylish and with an attention to fine detail. Chambers offers a lovely modern British menu with dishes including pan-fried seabass fillet, saffron potatoes, braised leeks with a Champagne, cucumber and crayfish sauce,and their prime scotch fillet steak tournedos rossini, puff pastry croute, chicken liver pâté and hand cut chips. These are just a few examples of their bistro-style menu. The restaurant has only been open since last October, but booking a table is highly recommended as Chambers looks set to be the place to be in Shoreham-By-Sea. Chambers Bistro, Old Town Hall, High Street, Shoreham-By-Sea, BN4 5DD, 01273 446677, info@chambersbistro.co.uk, www.chambersbistro.co.uk

To advertise Call Rachel today on 01273 818 150 x 105


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ONLY JOKING!

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2/5/10

In & Out

Bare cheek

In

Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

• Basildon Bond • Death Cigarettes • Karaoke • Accumulating more and more doorbells while not removing the non-functioning ones • The Spice Girls’ Abortive Comeback

What’s not on: Part II More doomed cash-in musicals based on recent Hollywood films MILLION DOLLAR BABY Ruthie Henshall and Michael Ball in the National Theatre's adaptation of the 2004 Oscar-glutton. Songs include ‘No Job For A Lady’ and ‘Ain't Got A Leg To Stand On’.

ALONG CAME POLLY Lee Evans and Kerry Katona star in Cameron Mackintosh's adaptation of the underwhelming 2004 Stiller-Aniston date movie. Songs include ‘Life's A Risk’ and ‘Mess Up My Room (With Love)’ MISERY In a rare foray into the form from the Royal Shakespeare Company, Stephen King's macabre literary nightmare is brought to musical life by Patrick Stewart and Julia McKenzie. Songs include ‘Mister Man’ and ‘Hobbling Towards Salvation’.

• Lion Brand • 25-in-a-pack Rothman's Royals • Cold Lazarus • Not throwing out your video cassettes even though you no longer have a video player • All Saints' Abortive Comeback

A BEAUTIFUL MIND Gareth Gates, Denise Van Outen, and Chico star in Cameron Mackintosh's adaptation of the 2001 actually-pretty-good biopic of mathematician John Nash. Songs include ‘All You Need Is A Friend’, and ‘Gotta Play The Game’.

WEDDING CRASHERS Matthew Horne and James Corden star in Cameron Mackintosh's adaptation of the demi-popular 2005 Wilson/Vaughn clunker. Songs include ‘We're With The Groom’, ‘Stay Away From My Daughter’, and ‘Welcome To The Club.’

Out

Doomed Hollywood films based on musicals BRIGHTON: THE MUSICAL! Terry Garroghan's 125-year-old show finally gets the big-screen treatment courtesy of Rob Marshall, and starring Bruce Willis as Terry Garrogan. SING ALONGA WICKER MAN: THE MUSICAL – THE MOVIE – THE MUSICAL Steve Blackberry and Candida Postgate's intimate live folk accompaniments to the Anthony Shaffer-scripted cult horror classic make a hideously convoluted transition back to the screen in this baffling treatment by Steven Soderbergh. Starring Simon Pegg as Steve Blackberry and Famke Janssen as Candida Postgate.

BARDSLEY’S

Astral Angi

Astral has some Valentine’s day advice

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Ariens must follow their hearts this weekend. St Valentine, and a number of greetings card manufacturers, gift shops and florists, will never forgive if you don’t. Taureans, gird your horns, this is your time for a moment of torrid temptation of the flesh. Give in to it, throw caution to the wind and tell someone you really love them. Geminis need to kick start their slightly tardy libidos this weekend if they are not to disappoint their lovers. Forget flowers and chocolates and get snogging.

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

Crusty old Cancer needs to embrace the concept of cuddling this weekend. No throwing up that hard shell as an excuse – cosy up and canoodle for all you are worth. Leos love to love and love to be loved too. This weekend single Leos will be on the prowl for absolutely anything that’s on offer. With love in the air all is fair game, so go hunting. Virgos must at all costs stay home this weekend if they are to avoid the onslaught of loved-up lunacy that is inevitable. That said, you may wish to continue lying about your sign...

Lovely Librans are so loved-up that Saint Valentine will have little impact on your predatory sexual modus operandi. Just remember that there are boundaries. Scorpios must play their cards well if they are to receive any love this weekend. Remember, as star signs go, we love not to love you – sorry about that, it’s just the way it goes. Sagis will spend all week handmaking Valentine’s cards and will be too tired to do anything more than blow a kiss. It is, of course, the thought that counts so blow away.

Capricorns must attend to the business of getting a few mates before dealing with the issue of mating, if you follow me. Send as many cards as possible and sign them. Aquarians will wander around in a haze of loved-up loveliness for all to see. Good luck to them, too. Beware, however, the fate of Onan, who took self love a step too far. Pisceans can do a lot worse than treating a loved one to an aphrodisiac platter of seafood at Bardsley’s. Just don’t let Roy put you off your stroke – or try to join in!


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L7 INTERVIEW 29 from the book because it’s a different medium but I really think the fans will not be disappointed. Aside from the potential for a big hit, what attracted you to the role? For me, it was all about Percy’s relationship with his mother [Catherine Keener]. What drives Percy to go on this epic journey is that he wants to save his mom. For him, that’s bigger than saving the world. During the journey, he finds out that his mother is alive and Hades [played by Steve Coogan) is holding her captive unless Percy returns Zeus’ lightning bolt to him. So, Percy tries to find a way to get to the Underworld and convince Hades of his innocence, all to get his mom back.

IS THIS THE NEXT HARRY POTTER?

The film has an amazing cast of big-name supporting actors, including Uma Thurman as Medusa... You know, she gives such a chilling performance. She has this really long leathery outfit with crazy snakes coming out of her head... I’m horrible at explaining it but it’s like nothing I’ve seen before. I was signed on to the movie before everybody else and what really attracted me to the movie was getting to work with Chris Columbus – he made the first two Harry Potters, he wrote The Goonies, he’s the guy who made me want to get into making movies.

Glen Ferris chats to Logan Lerman, the young actor set to give Daniel Radcliffe a run for his galleons as the son of Greek god Poseidon in new movie Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

A

s Harry Potter approaches voting age and gears up to take his final bow with parts one and two of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, cinema-goers are on the lookout for a new boy wizard. Many movies have tried and failed to make their magic mark (Eragon, The Golden Compass, The Dark Is Rising, we’re talking to you). But it looks like a new saviour may finally have arrived in the shape of Percy Jackson. Based on American author Rick Riordan’s hugely popular teen novels and directed by Chris Columbus (of the first two Harry Potter films), Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief is the tale of a high school kid who discovers he’s the son of the ancient Greek god Poseidon. If that paternity bombshell wasn’t shattering enough, he also has to contend with the sudden disappearance of his mother and being accused of stealing Zeus’ all-powerful lighting bolt. Needless to say, the gods aren’t too happy with him. One misunderstood teen, missing parents and all manner of magical mix-ups... sound familiar? We caught up with 18-year-old Californian Logan Lerman, who heads up a cast including Uma Thurman, Pierce Brosnan and Brighton’s own Steve Coogan. So, how are you dealing with the inevitable Harry Potter comparisons? I’m being compared to Daniel Radcliffe a lot these days. He’s an unlikely hero who’s thrown into a huge situation. Are you ready for the level of adoration Daniel Radcliffe’s experienced? All I can say is that I love my job and if that comes with the territory then I’m totally prepared for it. I just want to make sure I’m contributing good films to movie history rather than being famous just to

Uma Thurman as Medusa

Logan with co-stars Brandon T Jackson and Alexandra Daddario

In the film you play the son of Poseidon, which means you have to spend a lot of time under water. Was that something you were comfortable with? One of the big aspects of this movie was the whole water thing. I didn’t know how to scuba dive and I had to have three months of training before we started shooting. I had to be strapped to the bottom of a pool all day with guys feeding me tanks of air, it was a lot of fun.

“I had to be strapped to the bottom of a pool all day with guys feeding me tanks of air”

What’s your favourite scene in the movie? Well, if you want something to look forward to, there’s an insane aerial battle in the New York City with Zeus’ lightning bolt. It’s real end-of-the-world stuff and one of the coolest movie battles I’ve ever seen.

be famous. I don’t know if the movie will reach Twilight levels of obsession, but if it does, I’m ready for it.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief is in cinemas from Friday February 12. Glen Ferris is Managing Editor of Screenrush (www.screenrush.co.uk)

Have you been feeling the weight of expectation from the books’ fans? I didn’t realize what I got myself into when I started. I’m like, ‘Who did I fool to get to this point?’ It never really hit me until I got to Vancouver [to begin filming] and saw these amazing sets. They built The Parthenon, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Mount Olympus... This is a big movie! I’ve never been part of a big movie like this, on this level. It’s a little different


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30 ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink

The winners are:

Local food heroes are celebrated in a delicious reception at the Sussex Food & Drink Awards

Just desserts

C

elebrations were tinged with sadness at the glamorous Sussex Food and Drink Awards ceremony on 28 January. Seven food and drink heroes received their trophies at the grand awards dinner, but it was also announced that the Sussex Farmer of the Year 2009/10, voted for by the public, was Simon Bishop from Battle, who tragically died in a car accident last November. Over 9000 people voted for more than 300 Sussex food and drink businesses and personalities in this fourth year of the Sussex Food & Drink Awards, which is run by Natural PR with A Taste of Sussex, part of Sussex Enterprise and JustBIZ web solutions. Said Clive Beddall OBE, Chairman of the Judges: “Sussex food and drink producers are now leading the way in the UK’s local food revolution and the food and farming sector here is becoming the envy of its colleagues in other regions of the UK. This year our winners come from right across the county and the quality is absolutely outstanding.” Over 200 leaders in the food, drink and farming industries enjoyed a Sussex bubbly and ale reception, sponsored by Harvey & Son and Carr Taylor, followed by a stunning five-course dinner, which diners agreed was the best ever, made exclusively from Sussex produce. The menu included Sussex butternut squash and chilli soup; Newhaven fish cakes, with fish provided by Network Seafoods; tender braised Sussex beef steaks served alongside kidney puddings, provided by Natural Farms; two kinds of apple desserts with homemade ice cream made with Downsview Farm cream; an array of sumptuous Sussex cheeses; and chocolates and macaroons provided by the Chocolate Alchemist and Real Patisserie. Guests were treated to an Oscars-style awards presentation, hosted by Danny Pike of BBC Sussex, at the East Sussex National Golf Resort and Spa near Uckfield, with winners receiving their stylish trophies. www.sussexfoodawards.com

Sussex Butcher of the Year, sponsored by SEEDA Meads Village Butchers, Eastbourne, East Sussex

Have you tried Sussex’s award-winning food? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

follow me on twitter

latestandrew Sussex Farmer of the Year, sponsored by Knill James Simon Bishop, Netherfield Place Farm, Battle, East Sussex (who tragically died in a car accident in November 2009)

Best Sussex Farmers Market, sponsored by Natural PR Uckfield Farmers Market, Uckfield, East Sussex


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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 31

Sussex Food Shop of the Year, sponsored by JustBiz Cheese Please, Lewes, East Sussex

Best Sussex Eating Experience, sponsored by A Taste of Sussex Anise, Felbridge Hotel & Spa, East Grinstead, West Sussex

Sussex Drink Producer of the Year, sponsored by Mayo Wynne Baxter Hepworth & Co Brewers, Horsham, West Sussex

Sussex Young Chef of the Year, sponsored by Skills South East Oliver Darby, Temptation, Brighton

Sussex Food Producer of the Year, sponsored by Musgrave Retail Partners Prosperity Brownies, Lancing, West Sussex


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32 HOTLIST Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!

The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423

Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059

Metrodeco Metrodeco is Brighton’s only 1930s tea salon and art deco furniture shop. One of Kemp Town's newest venues, this Parisian-style cafe has already gained a big reputation for its cream teas, home-baked cakes, sandwiches and bespoke blends. But the real gourmet treat is their delightful afternoon tea. Take time to browse the basement floor of beautiful furnishings and gifts. Party bookings taken and dogs welcome. Metrodeco, 38 Upper St James’s St. BN2 1JN. 07956 978115, www.metro-deco.com

The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Twocourse menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine

Chinese

at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk

Gars Restaurant

Indian

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Italian

New Steine Bistro

Donatello

This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm

Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Thai L’Église

Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk

Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi.Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk

To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105


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DINING & DRINKING DEALS 33

EAT OUT FOR £5 at 01273 775477

01273 677676

£10 for 3 courses • Diners must produce this voucher (4 persons max) • Includes Eat as much as you like hot buffet • Offer available Sunday to Wednesday inclusive • Lunch and Dinner until the end of February

www.balibrasserie.co.uk Tel: 01273 323810 01273 325135

01273 730355

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2LR

Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Thursday inclusive. 10% service will be added. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.

SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50

10%

t Discoun with this advert

SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50

10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com reservation@newsteinehotel.com

Are you offering diners great deals? Why not let them know! Get in touch with Rachel at Latest 7 to find out how. Call 01273 818150 Ext 105 or e-mail rachelb@thelatest.co.uk


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HEALTH & BEAUTY 35

LOVE STORY Zara Baker on the products that will kickstart your Valentine’s Day romance

NATURAL RADIANCE: Get the look with Laidbare Naturaceuticals Come Clean Foaming Cleanser (£14), For Richer For Porer Facial Masque (£16), Pack Your Bags Eye Cream (£15) A work of art needs a good canvas to start on, and the same goes for the skin. The Laidbare range is gentle on the skin and leaves it soft and kissable. Disguise a late night with the eye cream and replenish skin with the face masque: it will cleanse, exfoliate and hydrate, making this the ultimate wonder pot! GLAMOUR GODDESS: Get the look with Helen-E Cosmetics Shimmer eye powder in shade 17 (£4.99), Liquid eyeliner in black (£5.99), pressed powder in Simply Blush (£12.99), available from www.helen-e.com and selected Debenhams stores. (Products modelled by Katrina Leeder, right.) Apply the shimmer shadow in the inner corners of your eyes to open

them up, brushing lightly up to the brow for an attractive shimmer (don’t go too heavy mind). Bold, dramatic eyes look striking: apply eyeliner carefully, creating a precise line with a gentle flick at the end. Keep cheeks natural and eliminate shine with the pressed powder. An easy look to achieve that looks absolutely stunning. SPEAK VOLUMES: Get the look with masters of hair Jo Hansford and Philip Kingsley Jo Hansford volumising shampoo (£14, available from Harvey Nichols, John Lewis and Fenwicks), Philip Kingsley Curl Activator (£17, available from www.philipkingsley.com) Complete the glamour goddess look with manageable hair that’s soft to the touch. The volumising shampoo gives a tantalising exotic aroma and the Curl Activator boosts curls to new heights. follow me on twitter

latestzara

Model: Katrina Leeder (Ambassador of Helen-E)


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KIDS

Jelly tots Youngsters are encouraged to learn through creative play with new company Red Jelly Children across Brighton and Hove are being inspired by a new, Tony Hart-style initiative. Hove-based business Red Jelly encourages pre-school children – and their parents/carers too – to play with art, explore natural and recycled materials, and make a mess! Classes are run at various venues across Brighton and Hove throughout the week, including some Saturdays. These classes combine singing, art and craft activities, and story time. Structured around a weekly theme, Red Jelly focuses on the journey children take rather than the outcome – helping develop their creativity, curiosity and confidence. To find out more about the classes and Red Jelly’s cost-effective loyalty card scheme, visit their website or give them a call. Red Jelly – creative play for pre-school children, 01273 930013, www.redjellykids.co.uk


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> send your stage listings to stage@thelatest.co.uk

L7 WHAT’S ON

Acting her age Brenda Blethyn talks to Andrew Kay about her role in Edna O’Brien’s Haunted If you were to believe the media you had a late flowering career but in truth you have been a very busy working actress for a long time... Yes for about 30, 35 years now. And it's redundant asking what roles you would like because you have covered the ground really. Yes I’ve been very lucky, I never hanker after things or go out looking for work. I don't have much of an ego about what sort of part I have to play, it doesn't have to be a lead – the part in Haunted is not the lead. Edna O’Brien gave you Haunted? I was in a play on Broadway, she came and we hit it off straight away. She mentioned she had a play and could she send it. I said yes of course and four years later it turned up. It took me ages to read it but when I did I fell in love. She couldn’t get it produced and I said leave it to me. I took it to director Braham Murray and forced him to read it and he fell in love with it too and put it in the schedule at Manchester Corn Exchange. Did the role come easy? You have to work at all of them. What I find exciting is working out what a character is like on an ordinary day. What was she like yesterday, before the play starts? Exploring her history so I can bring a bit of colour, more of a nuance.

There are so many clues; Haunted is a memory play. You’re never sure who is alive and who is dead. Is Edna O’Brien's writing for the stage as luscious as her novels? This is why I fell in love with it. We live in an age of texting, ‘LOL’, eloquence seems to be going out of the window. It’s an age of brevity, but to open the pages of Haunted and see this feast of language, it reaches parts other beers can't.

“What I find exciting is working out what a character is like on an ordinary day”

BRIGHTON DOME, CORN EXCHANGE 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org God’s Garden Portuguese choreographer Arthur Pita presents a new full-length dance theatre work. >15–16 Feb, 8pm, £10–£15

Stage about many things: desire, regret, betrayal, love, unrequited love. Do you enjoy live theatre? I love it. I never dreamed I would be in television or films. I thought film stars were from Mars. I started in an amateur group, but that was by default, someone dropped out and they asked me to step in. I love the camaraderie. The more I did, the better I got, and people started to say I could be a professional. And I said, what? Give up my good job? because I was working as a secretary, which I enjoyed. How old were you – was being a mature student rather strange? I was 27. And I know what you mean, a few chances have gone by and you understand the value of the education more. I was good at the woodwork. I would help make the sets.

Is your character strong? You play a lot of downtrodden women. Other people say that but I don’t see it. What do you mean by downtrodden? Well, worried or care-worn... Well, most women are. Most people are. The most vivacious person in public might be very different behind closed doors, that’s what I mean about finding the history. My character is a bread-winner, wears designer clothes, cares about how she looks, is a bit of a romantic, cares about her marriage. It's a play

Have you ever taken a role and regretted it? There must have been along the way, because I felt a flutter in my stomach as you said it but I can't remember what. Maybe it wasn't the material but the experience.

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 22 February > THE BASEMENT, BRIGHTON 01273 699733 www.thebasement.uk.com Love Letters Straight From Your Heart Uninvited Guests stage an event between a wedding reception, a wake and a radio dedication show with a theme of love. >14 Feb, 4.30pm & 7.30pm, £8 This Is Now Dance duo New Art Club deconstruct the first Now That’s What I Call Music CD from the eighties. >11 Mar, 7.30pm, £8

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 15 February>

Edna O’Brien has said that she sees you as a mother figure. But you are much younger. How sweet. Maybe I’m mother to her baby, the play. She trusts me.

Stagelistings BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk The Seagull Anton Chekhov’s classic, translated by Tom Stoppard >19–13 March, 7.30pm, £7.50 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE, 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Hello, Dolly! Broadway classic’s score includes Put On Your Sunday Clothes and the title song Hello, Dolly! >15–20 Feb, 7.15pm, 2.15pm matinee Sat, £13.50–£15 CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH, 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk One Man Lord Of The Rings 40 characters. Three masterworks. One Man. >10 February, 8pm, £14

STAGE 37

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra 40 Classical Love Themes Operatic arias and romantic orchestral favourites. >12 February, 7.30pm, £13.50–£27 Moscow City Ballet: Romeo And Juliet. Set to Prokofiev’s dramatic score. >14 February, 7.45pm, £32.50 NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.newventure.org.uk Dancing at Lughnasa Brian Friel’s awardwinning play based in Donegal in 1936. Joy, sadness, loss – and dancing. >20–25 Feb, 7.45pmt, 2.30pm matinee Sun, £8-–£9 THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Moscow City Ballet: Romeo And Juliet. Set to Prokofiev’s dramatic score. >9–10 Feb, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Wed, £13–£28 Moscow City Ballet: The Nutcracker Tchaikovsky’s popular ballet

There is a notion that there are too few roles for women of a certain age – but you find them. I have been very lucky, but I don't go looking for them. I had a cameo in Dead Man Running which didn't do very well but I loved doing it.

Do you ever turn anything down? I do. I value family and friends; I have a 92-year-old aunt I like to spend time with – she is going to be in one of my films. She's such fun the director has written a part for her. Have you any new films or TV? Yes, London River, set at the time of the July 7 bombings. I’ve also done a TV pilot for a crime series called Vera in which I’m a detective working for the police, great fun. Haunted, Theatre Royal Brighton, 1-6 March, 08448 717650.

>11–13 Feb, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu, £13–£28 Lord Arthur Savile's Crime Trevor Baxter’s adaptation of Oscar Wilde play stars Gary Wilmot and Kate O’Mara. >15–20 Feb, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28 Haunted Niall Buggy and Brenda Blethyn star in updated version of Edna O’Brien’s play. >1–6 Mar, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28 UPSTAIRS AT THREE AND TEN, BRIGHTON 07800 983 290 www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk The Odyssey One Actor. One hour. One man's epic quest. Award-winning Lecoq-trained company Ad Infinitum reinvent the timeless Greek myth. >9 Feb, 8pm £9 Katy and Rach Make Stuff Up Spontaneous, improvised theatre. >24 Feb, 8pm £7


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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS

Clublistings

Musiclistings

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 15 February >

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 15 February >

>highlight

CONCORDE 2 Horse Power. See highlight. 11pm–4am, £5 DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll. 11pm–3am, £4 JAM Don't Stop Believing. Pop and indie guilty pleasures. 11pm–3am, free LIFE Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box. Fidget, bass and firing electro. 11pm–3am, £6/4 KOMEDIA The Lover's Ball. Three floors, three live bands, six DJs, bellydance, burlesque, Balkan and Gypsy beats! 8pm, £10 NEW HERO Somewhere In The Universe. Leading alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5 PAVILION TAVERN KOTJ. Loud, dirty rock ‘n’ roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Carbon. Fresh D'n'B slices from hot property Zero T plus bassmentalism from Blake. 11pm–5am, £6 b4 12

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HORSE POWER December’s Horse Power sold faster than Jimmy Choos at H&M, with a rammed 2ManyDJsloving crowd. Now Brighton's legendary alternative dancefloor party is teaming up with uber-cool Institubes for the massive third instalment! Part-time graphic-designer and crowned Prince of French electro-dance, Surkin, smashes the granny out of Concorde 2 with a monster two-hour set. Expect lively disco-flavoured bass-lines, storming beats and huge remixes. Plus the incredible fashion fair and rummage sale offering 'kick your best friend in the teeth to get their first musthaves'. You'd be socially deceased to miss it. Saturday 12 February, Concorde 2

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TUESDAY 9

SATURDAY 13

Fightstar + The Xcerts + Cars On Fire + All Forgotten More than just 'that band with Charlie from Busted', kudos to these post-rockers with surprising longevity. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12.50 JLS The X Factor runners-up boy band pre-empt the full X Factor show later in the month. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £22-28 Massive Attack Super-hip ‘90s Bristolian triphoppers turned latter-day dance giants. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £29 Rizzle Kicks + The Last Carnival Brightonbased hip-hop duo. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £4/2

Bela Emerson Experimental electric cello distorted majestically with the use of samplers and loops. Unitarian Church, 8.30pm, £6.50 Fanfarlo + Race Horses (formerly Radio Luxembourg) Arcade Fire-alike Anglo/Swedish outfit possibly heading for big things. Audio, 7pm, £7 InMe + Straight Lines Emo-ish rock survivors from the nu-metal era. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £10 Johann Strauss Gala Viennese-style classical concert featuring David Juritz directing and also playing violin. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £13–27.50 Nazareth Classic rock veterans from Scotland who have been around for more than 30 years. Concorde 2, 7pm, £18 Shrag + Deadbeat Descendant Art-rockers Shrag supported by young garage rockers Deadbeat Descendant. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Smarty Pants Brightonian music and comedy talent line-up to give an alternative to the standard romantic schtick. Latest Musicbar, 7.30pm, £5/4

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WEDNESDAY 10 British Sea Power + The Half Sisters Longestablished Brightonian indie superheroes supported by the city's next big thing. Audio, 7.30pm, £12.50 Hot Club De Paris Rockers who have been lingering on the outskirts of mainstream indie for a while now. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6 Phantom Limb Country and soul music and the powerful vocals of frontwoman (and Massive Attack collaborator) Yolanda at this band's rescheduled gig. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £6/5 Twisted Folk Presents Stornoway + Beth Jeans Houghton Alternative take on folk with the 'hotly-tipped' hot-pant wearing singersongwriter Beth Jeans Houghton. Komedia, 7.30pm, £10

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AUDIO Supercharged. Mr Andy C. 11pm–2.30am, £6/4 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and a squeeze of chart tracks. 11pm–3am, £1 LIFE Broke. Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 10.30pm–2.30am, £4/1

AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Floorplay. Bouncy electrohouse, tech and energetic classics from Prok & Fitch plus Danish hot cake, DJ Noir. 10.30pm–4am, £10/7 CONCORDE 2 Silent Disco. Another night of muted madness with the Dutch DJs 11pm–4am, £8 DIGITAL Hospitality. Bass Cassanova’s London Elektricity, Danny Byrd and Marcus Intalex push the Funktion One sound. 10pm–4am,£12.50 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 JAM David E Sugar. London's electronic producer and ex-Gameboy basher hits our coast. 10.30pm–3am, £6 KOMEDIA Stone To The Bone. A sublime cocktail of soul, funk and jazz. 11pm, £5 KOMEDIA Brighton Rock. Classic rock and metal from last four decades. 11pm, £8/6 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 THE HANBURY CLUB We Luv Love. Angry, weird or just plain deranged tunes for your pleasure. 10pm–2am, £8/6 VOLKS Frequency. Lomax and Vicious Circle will be slamming out bass tremors! 11pm–6am, £1

THURSDAY 11

SUNDAY 14

BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Bang Bang. Hip-hop, dub step and D’n’B! 9pm–3.30am JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. ‘50s R’n’B and original Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3 LIFE Shameless. A rockin' mash up of the best and worst trax of the last 50 years. 11pm, £1 VOLKS Skank. Deep and dark dubstep, tribal dub, ghetto bass and grime. 11pm, £5/3

BRIGHTON COALITION Frequency. Delivering a range of house/breaks/electro. 10pm, free HONEY CLUB Spectrum. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1

Spirit Of Gravity: Plurals + Bolide + Beatabet Experimental music and visuals night celebrating 10 years of intrigue. Komedia, 8pm, £5/4 Sweet Sweet Lies + Grow Claws + Call Me Jolene + Bird Eats Baby Eccentric Brightonian dark country/jazz types. The Hope, 7.30pm, £tbc The Slytones Perhaps the new Eighties Matchbox, these Morrison Hotel era Doorsinvoking weirdos are great live. Hectors House, 7.30pm, free The Telescopes + One Unique Signal + Gin Panic Experimental indie/electronica crossover. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6

MONDAY 15

FRIDAY 12

AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free LIFE AKA AKA ROAR. Sounds from the full dubstep spectrum, past and future. 10pm–2.30am, £2 b4 12

Brighton Jazz Club: Dick Pearce Quartet Weekly gathering for jazz afficiondos and musos alike. Komedia, 8pm, £12-15 Thomas White + Seadog + Soul To Squeeze Solo folksy project from the British Sea Power member White. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £5

TUESDAY 9 AUDIO New Slang.Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Lively disco beats. 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–2.30am, free b4 11, £3/2 after PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, free/£3

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THURSDAY 11

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SUNDAY 14 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert featuring Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninov, Khachaturian and Bernstein. Brighton Dome, 2.45pm, £8–32 The Big Swing: That's Amore Six-man tribute to the Rat Pack era swing sound. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £10/8 Valentine’s Ball: Berkeley Square Society Band Ballroom dancing with live band. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £14–25

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MONDAY 15 Cannabis Corpse Stoner rock covers of those quaint death metal titans, Cannibal Corpse. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £8 Marina And The Diamonds The latest quirky Kate Bush-esque chart-bound lady. Audio, 7pm, £tbc NME Awards Tour 2010: The Maccabees + Bombay Bicycle Club + The Big Pink + The Drums Mixture of the NME's favourite established bands and those the trend-setting magazine tip for this year's big league. Prince Albert, 8pm, £15 Our Fathers + Red Shark In Vegas + Nina Ganci Rock with hints of blues and folk. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £2 The Ukulele Research and Development Society Open-Mic Somewhat different take on the open-mic format with prizes for performers. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £2

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Nick Aldwinckle


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2/4/10

2:04 PM

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> send your music listings to music@thelatest.co.uk Musichighlights

Music

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 15 February >

BRITISH SEA POWER A popular Brighton based outfit that has developed a very strong following over the years, culminating in their top five album – and by far their strongest – Do You Like Rock? Their often grey sleet-sounding indie should be given a bit more colour in the relatively small confines of Audio. Wednesday 10 February, Audio

MUSIC 39

With Jeff Hemmings

PHANTOM LIMB Will Young’s recent tour support whose countrysoul hybrid is fronted by the magnificent gospel/blues voice of Yolanda Quartey, who has also sung with Massive Attack recently. Wednesday 10 February, Latest Music Bar

YASMIN LEVY Israeli proponent of the moving, spiritual and romantic Sephardic music. This world music star has brought a new interpretation to the medieval Ladino (Judeo-Spanish) song by incorporating the sounds of Andalusian Flamenco and Turkey as well as flourishes of jazz. Saturday 13 February, St George’s Church

FANFARLO Very special London outfit led by Swedish-born Simon Balthazar, who exude a warm, engaging vibe. Part-folk, part-indie, their exceptionally well-crafted songs, as can be heard on their debut album Reservoir, have an edge and dynamic that has seen them lead the pack along with the likes of Mumford And Sons Saturday 13 February, Audio Fanfarlo

NME AWARDS TOUR: THE MACCABEES + BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB + THE BIG PINK A prestigious headline slot on the annual NME Awards Tour for the excellent Maccabees, a class act that could barely play their instruments when they first started but who continue to create distinctive, dynamic and melody-ridden songs. Plus angular but fragile indie rock from young ‘uns Bombay Bicycle Club and euphoric drone rock from The Big Pink. Monday 15 February, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome

SAX APPEAL

Courtney Pine on defining jazz, reinventing the sax and playing his first professional gig as a schoolkid in Brighton

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he son of Jamaican immigrants, this country’s most celebrated contemporary jazz musician is now in possession of a CBE for services to jazz music. “It wasn’t something I considered at all,” says Courtney Pine from his home base in London. “I was even more shocked to be considered for a CBE [one up from theOBE which was bestowed on him in 2000]. I got in touch with my teachers, Sonny Rollins and Branford Marsalis, and thanked them! It’s amazing that someone from my generation should be recognised for playing improvised music...” It all started with his dad’s collection of 7” ska records. “I used to turn over the records and listen to the instrumental version of the A-side,” says Pine. “I didn’t know it at the time but people like [ska originators] Ernest Ranglin and Don Drummond were originally jazz musicians.” So what is his definition of jazz? “It’s a music of freedom... the only boundaries are the limits of your imagination.” It’s this kind of thinking that has led Pine to explore all sorts of music from around the world and to fuse it with jazz in its myriad forms. Even his main instrument, the saxophone, is something he continually explores. “I use a company that makes me specialised saxes. I sometimes hear and want to do things that I can’t so I ask the company if they can!”

From ska and blues to modern music such as drum’n’bass, Pine is constantly making connections between music and between cultures. More recently, he has immersed himself in the music of Sidney Bechet, perhaps the first great jazz saxophonist, and a New Orleanian who spent much of his life in Paris. “His music is vibrant, it just doesn’t sound like anything of the period. I saw the connections betwen him and Charlie Parker, John Coltrane and Wayne Shorter, and it made sense to me.” Pine’s last album, Transition In Tradition, is a homage to Bechet, and it’s this he’ll be performing on his UK tour. “I don’t try and play like him, but I pay homage and respect him,” he says. Pine’s management is based in Brighton and it also happens to be where he played his first professional gig. “It was at the Top Rank [now Oceana]. I didn’t get paid and I had to go to school the next day... I was told not to be a jazz musician,” says Courtney Pine OBE CBE. Thursday 18 February, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Jesca Hoop, Latest Music Bar, Thursday 4 February

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040_LS461_Art/Events

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2/5/10

12:13 PM

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EVENTS | ART

Eventspreview

Arthighlights

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 15 February > > send your events listings to events@thelatest.co.uk

> Tuesday 9 to Monday 15 February > > send your art listings to art@thelatest.co.uk

BRIGHTON SCIENCE FESTIVAL

Photo Talks

Flanked by 'Family Fun Weekend' and 'Big Science Weekend', the Brighton Science Festival returns this year to mark the 350th anniversary of the Royal Society. It encourages children to play and create, as well as listen, debate and discover, and there’s plenty for adults too. Topics for discussion and display this year include everything from 'Microbes and Me' to 'Unweave the Rainbow', covering the whole spectrum of scientific discovery. There will even be a viewing of Terry Gilliam's 1985 classic sci-fi film, Brazil, with its dysfunctional industrial world and lumbering 1940s technology. The inspirational variety of events, talks, exhibitions and films includes several big names, from TV prof Robert Winston to comedian Ben Miller, and a special Catalyst Club event dedicated to the Royal Society’s 350th anniversary. Many events are free, however booking online in advance is advised for all events. Visit www.brightonscience.com for more details.

Photoworks, the UK visual arts agency for photography, is holding two further discussions in the coming weeks by artists and curators working with contemporary photography; Richard Wentworth (10 February) and David Spero (10 March). Contemporary Photography Artists Talks, Sallis Benney Theatre, 01273 607523. Feb 10 and March 10.

Richard Wentworth: London 1994, from the series Making Do and Getting By, 1999

World of Interiors Armed with open minds and enthusiasm, 15 pupils from Cardinal Newman Catholic School took up the challenge to create an exhibition that takes a fresh look at the Royal Pavilion. Meeting up with curators to find out about the Chinese-style interiors, they also looked around Chinatown in London for inspiration! World of Interiors: The Not-so-Far East Project, Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 01273 290900. 12 February-11 April.

Creatmosphere

Events highlights THURSDAY 11 Catalyst Club Monthly event which blends the old traditions of a French Salon with debating societies. Got a passion? Share it with the Catalyst Club. Three guest speakers each take to the lectern for 15 minutes to enthuse, debate and entertain on a variety of subjects. Latest Musicbar, 01273 687171 www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar. 8pm, £5

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The Banff Mountain Film Festival Short film festival featuring mountains from remote habitats to adrenaline–fuelled sports. Prizes awarded throughout the evening. Komedia Studio Bar. 0845 293 8480 visit www.banff–uk.com or www.komedia.co.uk for details. 7.30pm, £10

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Brighton Centre, 01273 292695 or visit www.brightoncentre.co.uk or www.brightonmodelworld.co.uk . 10am-5.30pm, £5–£8

SATURDAY 13 Brighton Ladies Banish Winter Blues by Swishing Clothes swapping parties are increasingly popular. Get in with the trend by bringing along at least one glamorous item of clothing or accessory in good condition to swap. Latest Musicbar, 01273 687171 www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar. 3pm–7pm, free admission

Rockarchive

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SATURDAY 13

FRIDAY 12–SUNDAY 14

Bunting Bonanza Take part in a drop-in art workshop and be inspired by the ‘Land Girls’ exhibition. Make bunting and flags for VE day. All ages. There are also lots of half-term activities at all of Brighton & Hove’s museums. See website below for details. Brighton Museum. 03000 290900. www.virtualmuseum.info, free admission

Brighton Modelworld annual exhibition on all things miniature on a grand scale. With vintage toys, collectable items and make-it-yourself sets in almost every transport form.

French artist and founder of Creatmosphere Laurent Louyer has proposed to perform a unique lighting performance against the West Pier structure, for one day only. Creatmosphere investigates social, historical and emotional characteristics in developing narratives for sitespecific installations. This is the first in a series of UK events sponsored by Tiger Beer, and which celebrates The Year of The Tiger. Creatmosphere, West Pier, 6-10pm, 10 February

Photographer Jill Furmanovsky created rockarchive.com in 1998, enabling the work of many notable music photographers to be accessible to fans and collectors. The 2010 Collection features another fantastic selection of work, including imagery of icons such as Ella Fitzgerald, David Bowie and The Clash. Rockarchive:The 2010 Collection, Crane Kalman, Kensington Gardens, 01273 697096. Until 28 February

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tues 9 feb

fri 12 feb

rizzle kicks + the last carnival 8pm, £4/2

upstairs: dusty's brighton's latest lesbian night: valentine's special 8pm–2am, £6/£5 advance downstairs: charity chuckle compere: julie jepson. and val lee headlining, raising money for RISE 7pm, £6 get advance tickets at

wed 10 feb phantom limb 8pm, £6/5 in advance get advance tickets at www.wegottickets.com/event/70198

thurs 11 feb

www.wegottickets.com/event/71158

catalyst club monthly meet blending French Salons and debating societies 8pm, £5

manchester street, brighton tel.

sat 13 feb brighton ladies: banish winter blues by swishing

01273 687171

Swap your posh togs! Call kelly: 07876 596115 for info. 3pm–7pm, free

sun 14 feb big swing live – that's amore 8pm, £10/£9/£8 get advance tickets at www.wegottickets.com/event/70183

mon 15 feb upstairs: ukulele research & dev. society open-mic 7.30, £2/free for performers downstairs: our fathers + Nina Ganci 8pm £2

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar


041_LS461_film

2/4/10

1:53 PM

Page 1

Supported by

FILM

filmhighlight

L7 Film

Invictus

(12A) Dir: Clint Eastwood

Biopic of Nelson Mandela and a splintered South Africa, set after the great man was released and elected to presidency. Morgan Freeman is Mandela, looking for a way to unite his country and bring black and white South Africans together. Seeing an opportunity in sport, he enlists the help of the national rugby team captain (Matt Damon) to bring their people together. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Showing this week Astro Boy (PG) Dir: David Bowers

Based on the popular Japanese manga tale that started in the ‘50s, Astro Boy is a futuristic Pinocchio – with superpowers. Created by a kindly scientist (Nicholas Cage) he goes off adventuring and learning the true meaning of being human – and fighting massive robots to save us all. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Breakfast At Tiffany’s (PG) Dir: Blake Edwards

The Edge Of Darkness (15)

The Princess And The Frog (U)

Dir: Martin Campbell

Dir: John Musker, Ron Clements

Mel Gibson stars as a veteran homocide cop out to find out who gunned down his daughter in front of his house in this film based on a 1986 BBC mini-series. Things like that niggle at a person. His pursuit of the truth takes him down dark allies and uncover his daughter’s secret life. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

There’s this jazz-loving prince, right? Fun lovin’, kicking it up in New Orleans and having a whale of a time – until a deal with a voodoo doctor goes bad and our Prince Naveen is turned into a frog. Bit of a bummer on a rabbleraising night out but at least he’s in a humid climate. His desperate attempts to turn back into his human form lead him to a beautiful girl named Tiana – Disney’s first animated African American leading lady. After a fateful kiss, the two are swept away in a series of adventures along the banks of the Mississippi river, making new friends along the way, trying to get back in time for Mardi Gras. An all singing, all dancing, all old-school Disney rags-toriches feelgood experience. Grab a kid and go. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Precious (15) Dir: Lee Daniels Adapted from the bestselling novel Push by Sapphire, this is the struggling story of Precious, a Harlem girl pregnant by her drug-addicted father with her second child and taunted over her illiteracy and

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obesity. Not a happy time. Then her social worker (played by Mariah Carey) places her in an alternative

school and she starts to gain belief in herself. Tipped to scoop up awards. Showing at Duke of York’s & Cineworld

A classic adaptation of Truman Capote’s novel about New York call girl Holly Golightly (played with iconic style by Audrey Hepburn), and her relationship with George Peppard’s writer, who also happens to be her downstairs neighbour. Seedy, stunning and with a delectible cat named Cat. Showing at Duke of York’s

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (15) Dir: Mat Whitecross

Andy Serkis, best known for his awardwinning portrayal of Gollum in the LOR trilogy, steps centre stage in his depiction of one of the most influential musicians and songwriters of the ‘70s – Ian Dury. Again, he’s up for plaudits for this film, charting Dury’s life from a childhood that left him disabled by polio, through to his premature death at the turn of the millenium. Showing at Duke of York’s

SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261

0871 224 4007

0871 200 2000

01903 206206

cineworld.co.uk

picturehouses.co.uk

odeon.co.uk

worthingtheatres.co.uk

TUESDAY 9

TUESDAY 9

TUESDAY 9

TUESDAY 9

Astro Boy (PG) 1.00, 3.15, 5.40 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.00, 5.00, 8.30 Bright Star (PG) 8.15 The Edge Of Darkness (15) 12.45, 3.30, 9.15 Invictus (12A) 2.30, 5.45, 8.45 It’s Complicated (15) 6.30 The Princess And The Frog (U) 12.30, 3.10, 5.30, 8.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Up In The Air (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45

A Prophet (18) 6.30 Glorious 39 (12A) 11.00 (Silver Screen) Precious (15) 4.00 (Silver Screen), 9.30 Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (15) 1.30 (Silver Screen)

Avatar (12A) 7.30 The Road (15) 5.15

A Prophet (18) 6.00 Precious (15) 11.00 (Big Scream), 3.45, 9.00

Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 3.30, 4.30, 7.00, 8.00, 8.30 Astro Boy (PG) 11.45, 1.50, 4.00, 8.10 Edge Of Darkness (15) 1.30, 6.20, 9.00 Invictus (12A) 11.40, 2.50, 5.50, 8.50 Precious (15) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30, 8.10 The Princess And The Frog (U) 1.10, 3.40, 6.00, 8.20

THURSDAY 11

WEDNESDAY 10

A Prophet (18) 1.00 Precious (15) 4.00, 9.00 Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (15) 6.30

Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 3.30, 4.30, 7.00, 8.00, 8.30 Astro Boy (PG) 11.45, 1.50, 4.00, 8.10 Edge Of Darkness (15) 1.30, 6.20, 9.00 Invictus (12A) 11.40, 2.50, 5.50, 8.50 Precious (15) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30, 8.10 The Princess And The Frog (U) 1.10, 3.40, 6.00, 8.20 The Wolfman (15) 11.45, 2.00, 4.15, 6.30, 8.45

WEDNESDAY 10 Astro Boy (PG) 1.00, 3.15, 5.40 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.00, 5.00, 8.30 The Edge Of Darkness (15) 9.15 Invictus (12A) 2.30, 5.45, 8.45 It’s Complicated (15) 6.30 The Princess And The Frog (U) 12.30, 3.10, 5.30, 8.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Up In The Air (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45 The Wolfman (15) 1.15, 4.00, 7.15, 8.20

THURSDAY 11 Astro Boy (PG) 1.00, 3.15, 5.40 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.00, 5.00, 8.30 The Edge Of Darkness (15) 9.15 Glorious 39 (12A) 10.30am Invictus (12A) 10.45, 2.30, 5.45, 8.45 It’s Complicated (15) 6.30 The Princess And The Frog (U) 12.30, 3.10, 5.30, 8.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Up In The Air (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45 The Wolfman (15) 1.15, 4.00, 7.15, 8.20

WEDNESDAY 10

FRIDAY 12 A Single Man (12A) 3.30, 8.30 Ponyo (U) 1.00, 6.00

SATURDAY 13 A Single Man (12A) 3.15, 8.00 Jumanji (PG) 11.00am (Kids’ Club) Ponyo (U) 1.15, 6.00 The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Rings (PG) 10.00pm

SUNDAY 14 A Single Man (12A) 4.00, 9.00 Breakfast At Tiffany’s (PG) 6.00 Ponyo (U) 1.30

MONDAY 15 A Single Man (12A) 3.30, 8.30 Ponyo (U) 1.00, 6.00

WEDNESDAY 10 Avatar (12A) 7.30 The Road (15) 4.15

THURSDAY 11 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 3.30, 4.30, 7.00, 8.00, 8.30 Astro Boy (PG) 11.45, 1.50, 4.00, 8.10 Edge Of Darkness (15) 1.30, 6.20, 9.00 Invictus (12A) 11.40, 2.50, 5.50, 8.50 Precious (15) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30, 8.10 The Princess And The Frog (U) 1.10, 3.40, 6.00, 8.20 The Wolfman (15) 11.45, 2.00, 4.15, 6.30, 8.45

Films showing Friday 12–Monday 15

Avatar

THURSDAY 11 The Road (15) 5.15

FRIDAY 12 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (PG) tbc

Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times

SATURDAY 13 Up (U) 10.15am

SUNDAY 14 tbc

Films showing Friday 12–Monday 15

MONDAY 15

Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times

Ghost (15) 1.30

Astro Boy


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11:14 AM

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WILD FRUIT 43

Give in to temptation at Wild Fruit’s Pink Love Ball and help spread the love

W

ild Fruit’s last party – The Red Party at Oceana in December – was such a huge starstudded success that the Fruity team are planning another one-off jaunt to the luxurious Brighton seafront superclub. February is the month of love so what could be better than a massive ‘love-in’, Wild Fruit style? Sunday 14 February will see Wild Fruit’s annual Pink Love Ball fill every glamorous corner of the massive Oceana venue, with their typically eclectic mix of outrageous costumed party-goers, cheeky Valentine cherubs, and gorgeous boys and girls. There’ll be seven distinct party rooms, proving there’s something for absolutely everybody at this glittering event, with fabulous seating areas and swishy bars, plus the option of booking your own ‘love booth’ for yourself and your guest (or guests) with a complimentary bottle of bubbly too! Nobody does a party quite like Wild Fruit. If you’ve never been, then make the effort and you’ll be hooked on the unique atmosphere and production values that make Wild Fruit a true clubbing legend. Don’t get left out of the party of the month; dress up in sparkling lovethemed pink finery and join the most colourful party crowd in Brighton. Show some love for Haiti! Wild Fruit will donate at least 30 per cent of door profits from the Pink Love Ball at Oceana to help raise funds for Haiti. They will also be bucketing on the night for the worthy cause. Wild Fruit Pink Love Ball, Oceana, West Street, Brighton, Sunday 14 February, 8.30am–3pm, £10/£7 (before 10pm)/£7 NUS/£5 (before 10.30pm). Advance ticket available from Charles Street, Prowler, Naughty & Nice, Doctor Brightons, Brighton Dome box office 01273 709709.

Photography: Chris Jepson

Wild romance


044_LS461_comedy/gay

2/5/10

2:47 PM

Page 2

44 COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS

Comedypreview

Gaylistings

> Tuesday 9 February to Monday 15 February >

> Tuesday 9 January to Monday 15 February > > send your gay listings to gay@thelatest.co.uk

> send your comedy listings to comedy@thelatest.co.uk

TUESDAY 9

LAUGHING HORSE COMEDY

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here’s a new weekend comedy night in town – well, it’s been around for a couple of months but it’s good and settled now. Laughing Horse Comedy has been running comedy nights around London and the South East, as well as a free Fringe at the cultural massive that is the Edinburgh Festival and shows at the Brighton Festival, for some time now. It also runs its respected new act stand-up competition each year, some of the heats of which you may have caught last month at this very venue (previous years’ winners include circuit favourites Russell Kane and Carl Donnelly). So when Laughing Horse announced it was starting a weekly weekend comedy night in Brighton we knew that the Brighton comedy scene had made the London lot sit up and take notice. Back to the night though, and Laughing Horse keep setting up some of the best emerging line-ups around for Sajeela Kershi us, from both the Brighton and London pool of comics. Tonight’s line-up is hosted by the delightful and gutsy Sajeela Kershi, safe hands as ever for a comedy night. Joining her as the line-up, delivering a mixture of comedic stylings, are Steve N Allen, Bobby Carroll, Stephanie Lang, Martin Hill and zany Canadian comic Wes Zaharuk. With the bar open until 2am and the evening’s events taking place in the beautiful setting of The Quadrant’s upstairs room, you can happily settle in for a fun Saturday night. Get there early to baggsy yourself a prime position. Laughing Horse Comedy, The Quadrant, Brighton, Saturday 13 February, 8pm, £6/5. follow me on twitter

latestvicky

MARLBOROUGH Bingo's Not A Dirty Word. With Kath. Winner takes the pot, job done! 8pm, £1 QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Its a mid-week mash-up with Deck Heroine LadyBex throwing out ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free

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WEDNESDAY 10 LEGENDS Gabbi’s Games. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Silver Wednesday. Old fashioned candlelit cinema, popcorn girls and competent ushers. (Upstairs.) 8pm, £don QUEEN’S ARMS Anything Goes. Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm, free R-BAR Midweek Mash Up. DJ Beast plays electro pop and darker shades of electric vibes! 12pm–2am REVENGE Death To Disco. New midweek bash to meet your indie electro pop and alternative beats needs. 10.30pm, £2 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free

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THURSDAY 11 Top Banana Comedy featuring Alex Marion, Jonny Armstrong, Elise Harris, Kev Heritage, Helen Raynor, Vicky Nangle, Sarah Hendrickx, Richard Massing plus the wonderful Sami Stone headlining and the incomparable Aidan Goatley compering. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £2

SATURDAY 13 International Stand-up Strap yourself in for a night of classic stand-up, with a sprinkling of the surreal. Featuring an international line-up. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 9.30pm, £8/6

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FRIDAY 12 Charity Chuckle A night of stand up comedy for RISE – stand up against domestic violence. Julie Jepson comperes with stand-up from Murray Cummings, Helen Raynor, Shannon Hommel, Kev Heritage, Catie Wilkins and Matt Forde, plus headliner Val Lee. Latest Musicbar, 7.30pm, £6.

Laughing Horse Comedy Stand-up comedy from zany Canadian comic Wes Zaharuk, Steve N. Allen, Bobby Carroll, Stephanie Lang and Martin Hill. With compere Sajeela Kershi. The Quadrant, 8.30pm, £6/5

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Krater Comedy Club Award winning comedy every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Komedia, 7.30pm, £14.50/10

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St Leonard’s Improv Comedy Club The Maydays headline, supported by Gavin Inskip, Sam Savage, Suzi Payton and other support acts plus local newcomers. MC’d by Anton Hammond. The Crown House, 8pm, £5/4

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The Pink Bear Club Love is in the air and the Pink Bear has got up early from hibernation to bring you more romantic, and downright sexy, wrong comedy films and sketches. Bring your secret lover! Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5

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The Noise Next Door A razor-sharp evening of riotous improvised comedy. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6

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Smarty Valentines Party Cabaret Night. Headliner Paul F Taylor. Comedy acts, music acts and a whole host of entertainment Komedia, 7.15pm, £8/5

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SUNDAY 14 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 8pm, £11/£6

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My Funny Valentine An evening of romance and laughter hosted by Sion James and starring Patrick Monahan and Vikki Stone. Includes dinner. De La Warr Pavilion, 7.30pm, £35.

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Wild Fruit Pink Love Ball Brighton's suave venue Oceana will see more fruity action than a Satellite-sized fruit bowl in the middle of a satsuma rain storm this Valentine’s Day! This sexy, glamorous and amorous party will be rammed to the brim with sweethearts, toy boys, cheeky cherubs and GoGo sluts. The delicious love goddess Dolly Rocket hosts the main room with her bevy of drag queens and delectable man-treats. Meet the man of your dreams in the saucy Tahiti bar speed dating, all set to the tunes of mish-mash pop, discotinged fabulousness and camp classics. Dust off your most decadent lovethemed finery. (Read more about the Pink Love Ball on p 43) Sunday 14 February, Oceana

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THURSDAY 11 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL. My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Medication Thursday. After work drinks specials plus a prescription free round of pool with each round! So get 'em in! 1pm, free LEGENDS Coreaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top Vs Emergency Room. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free

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CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. The best bubblegum tunes, sweet camp pop and your requests. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A (Queer & Alternative). Playing indie, electro, soul, punk, and old school classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop Gets Loved Up Vs Peachy Launch Party. Chart remixes, dance anthems and commercial house with Alex Baker and Stewart T. 10.30pm–5am,£5/ free

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SATURDAY 13 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Cherry Pop. DJ Fondue Inferno brings us cheesy upbeat classics! 8pm, free R-BAR Lesbian Speed Dating. Indulge in a variety of mini-dates in a relaxing atmosphere. 7pm, £20/15 REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE ZONE Sally Vate's Red & Pink Party. 9.30pm, free

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SUNDAY 14 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free CHARLES STREET BAR Showtime with Kevin Cruise. Incredible show of glitz and glamour! 7.15pm, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret. 3.15pm, free OCEANA Wild Fruit Pink Love Ball. See highlight. 8.30pm-3am, £10-5 QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: All Mouth & No Trousers + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free

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MONDAY 15 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free

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045_LS461_reviews

2/5/10

11:11 AM

Page 1

REVIEWS 45

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk LAURA VEIRS Six-months pregnant and nearing the end of a very long tour on which her band were required to share beds as well as instruments, Oregon songwriter Laura Veirs seemed a little lumbering as she showcased songs from sixth album July Flame. But then that's only relative. Since her debut, 2004's Carbon Glacier, the bespectacled Geology Major has been known for a sweet yet austere, Appalachian-style folk that's as bracingly beautiful as a midnight swim in a crystal cave. Of the newies, the title track stood out with its familiarly strange melodic parameters. But it wasn't until she got the banjo out for 'Cluck Old Hen', a traditional track wound into a rollicking reel by the audience's quickening handclaps, that the gig really caught light. Hanbury Ballroom, 26 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Bella Todd

POETS VS RAPPERS 'A battle of rhymes between Brighton's finest rappers and poets'; on paper the premise sounds utterly absurd but, in reality, it made for a brilliant and often hilarious showcase of the city's talent. Now in its seventh year, Poets Vs MCs has become a legendary fixture on the Brighton cultural calendar, and this year's was the best show to date. Some truly extraordinary performances from both teams made it very clear that, although the poets were voted the victors for 2010, Brighton's wordsmiths – both poets and MCs – are onto a winning formula. Komedia, 28 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Patience Leaver

THESE NEW PURITANS They looked like they should’ve been in a Tesco carpark back in their Essex hometown of Southend-On-Sea rather than the sweaty climes of Audio. So it came as something of a surprise to hear the dramatic new sound of nurave refugees These New Puritans. Recently released second album, Hidden, has rightly garnered acclaim from all angles; thundering drums, warped, haunting choir synth noises and ritual rhythms replacde the thoroughly enjoyable but a little formulaic previous art-rock incarnation. Dark, malformed tango and tribal electronic beats were only slightly hampered by sub-standard vocals. Menace loomed in the basement’s shadows; the kids from Skins, it seems, have finally grown neon fangs. Audio, 1 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle

NANCY ELIZABETH + MARY HAMPTON They may have gone untrumpeted at the BBC 2 Folk Awards last week. But this double-bill of Manchester’s Nancy Elizabeth and Brighton’s Mary Hampton was all the proof you need that folk is flickering back to life via some young and very vivid imaginations. Headliner Elizabeth played from her two albums of soft, solitudinous country-folk, accompanying ‘Feet of Courage’ with only a shaker, a stick hitting a chair back, and the heavy boots she’d sweated away all night in especially for this purpose. Her head was in a mess, she said, because she’d just fallen in love. With an accountant. It was a lovely set, but she suffered just slightly from following Hampton, who grows more arresting with every performance, her piercing attic folk veiled with the softest of deliveries and the ghost of a wry smile. ‘The Bird In The Bush’, the spellbindingly erotic traditional once sung by Anne Briggs, could have been her own. Prince Albert, 3 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Bella Todd

RAMBERT DANCE: COMEDY OF CHANGE Once again, Rambert delivered a programme that showed the breadth and scope of their artistic range. Jonathan Goddard, in Richard Alston’s ‘Dutiful Ducks’, gave a virtuoso performance that was elegant but also masculine and powerful. In ‘Don’t Think About It’ by Miguel Altunaga, ritualism, machismo and fear jostled together as we saw men fight for supremacy – a work of great promise from this new choreographer. Mark Baldwin’s new work is inspired by Darwin in his anniversary year, the theme of evolution being used to exploit notions of alikeness and difference, metamorphosis and change. Brilliant costumes in black and white allowed the dancers at moments to appear and disappear, and in the final passage their uniformity and anonimity emphasised that, despite our differences, we are all as one. ‘Tread Softly’ by Henri Oguike showed the company at its best, as the dancers mixed the comically jerky and repetitive with leaps of pure classical elegance. Theatre Royal Brighton, 4 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay

Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk

EXTRA STRONG COUNT ARTHUR STRONG: THE MAN BEHIND THE SMILE Theatre Royal Brighton, 1 February ✪✪✪✪✪

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hose who only know the Count from his successful Radio 4 show (he has been performing live at Komedia for years) might worry that the verbal gymnastics of the tongue-tied Arthur would be lost in the clutter of a staged production. And from time to time they were indeed lost in his biggest Brighton booking to date. But, on the whole, this was a cleverly conceived and smartly executed show. The shape of the evening was a tribute to Arthur presented by the head of a Doncaster cable TV company. Silly, yes, but then why not? After all, Count Arthur is a fiction built on extreme silliness. The stage was dressed like a TV chat show but there was no Arthur for some time, not until we heard him from the wings saying to play some music because he wasn’t ready. From then on in, the bumbling, deluded loon spoonered and malapropped his way through 70 minutes of hysterical nonsense. Via really well executed video clips cutting vintage archive footage with new material, we saw the Count interview Sir

Laurence Olivier – or Laurence of Arabia as the Count puts it – and presenting the pilot of Ask The Family before losing the job to Robert Robinson. When he announced that he had also been in Doctor Who the audience was enthralled, only to be rewarded with a clip of a Cyberman and Arthur dubbed over moaning about being able to ‘‘see nothing in this bloody costume’’. Such devices can only work if done well and these brilliant clips had been lovingly and flawlessly crafted. There is little denying that Arthur owes something to Harry Worth, but so few of us remember him, and of course our more relaxed attitudes allow Arthur to be truly despicable in the cause of comedy. The running gag throughout of the theme to Robin Hood, the TV version, finally paid off with Arthur, the TV presenter and the camp and downtrodden stage manager appearing as Robin, Friar Tuck and Little John in the silliest dance ever to disgrace the stage of the Theatre Royal. A pure, vintage delight pulled off with great aplomb. Andrew Kay

>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk


046_LS461_Sports/TV_Column

46

2/4/10

3:04 PM

Page 2

L7 TV

SPORT | TV

L7 Sport

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE

9 –15 FEBRUARY

Off The Pitch

Telly Talk

Adam Virgo on our national talent for failure

With Victoria Nangle

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Gladiators ready?

fter watching Andy Murray over the last two weeks, I was gutted to see him lose to an in-form Roger Federer last Sunday in the final of the Australian open. After watching him destroy everyone he played against without losing a set, I really thought this was his time to win his first grand slam – but it was not to be. You must understand, tennis in Britain has not ever been great; we have produced three players in the last twenty years. Andy Murray has the pressure of a nation watching him and wanting him to win but being on your own on that court must make it very hard to cope with pressure. The England football team will have huge pressure on them in the world cup but remember there are 11 players all helping each other and you have the bench always helping you as well. For some reason, sport for Britain has always come up short. Yes we are getting better, the Olympic medal table has got better. But although we have produced a player who got to a grand slam final he still has not won, and the England cricket team has regained the ashes but when the world cup comes along we always seem to fail.

“For a nation that has so much to offer, we are light years behind other countries in producing world-class athletes” With regards to the rugby, the one sport where we were world cup winners, the best in the world, for some reason we have gone backwards and now, if we finish third in the six nations, that would be seen as an improvement. The England football team never seem to get it right, not qualifying for Euro 2008, and our best finish since 1966 in the world cup was at Italia 90 where we lost to West Germany on penalties, surprise surprise! For a nation that has so much to offer, we are light years behind other countries in producing world-class athletes. It all starts from the grass roots. We as a nation are glued to the TV wanting our country to win in whatever sport we compete in but after we have failed, the press seem to sharpen their pencils and crucify our sporting nation. Sport in England can set a huge standard for our nation as a whole. It’s a universal language. You only have to look at Australia and the USA, who have set the bar for sport in what it takes to be the best. Why has it taken 20 years for us to learn from the other countries? Maybe sport for a long time was never a priority for our country. I want to see young kids being taken to sports academies and taught flair and skill at an early age, and really pushed to learn the technical side of their sports, not just the simple basics. Do you think we fail as a sporting nation or do you think we succeed considering the size and population we have? I know what my answer is... Are we failing as a sporting nation? comment@thelatest.co.uk Adam Virgo plays for Brighton and Hove Albion FC and his foundation raises funds for three charities. Adam is also HEART UK’s Sussex Ambassador for Team Red Laces.

Last Woman Standing, BBC3, Tuesday

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ime was when I used to laugh – loudly – at American Gladiators and how it epitomised all that seemed American and not British in its ‘anything for a spectacle’ mentality. I’d come back from the pub/club in the small wee hours and howl with laughter at the very idea of such ridiculousness ever being shown to those not intoxicated or bereft of a healthy sleep pattern. Surely that would be taking it seriously. Surely the civilised world would come crashing down when people hitting each other with giant Q-tips became approved prime-time viewing. Fast-forward roughly a decade and I’m tucking into my Saturday teatime dose of Total Wipeout, safe in the knowledge that I can watch Andy McNab surviving extreme trials thrown at him by the gods (or nature, depending upon your belief system)anytime I want and that BBC3 is just about to start the girl version of it’s Last Man Standing survival contest. This is more than a drunken spectator sport now. This is an entire genre with commissioning editors creating different versions for the kids, the teens, the adultescents and the family viewers. And I hadn’t even noticed. Alright, so maybe I’d been a bit snobby when they introduced the British version of Gladiators, but after that I just took it as being It’s A Knockout from the ‘70s meets David Attenborough on a bit of a trek. Quite how that became picking up a group of self-described ‘well hard’ young blokes and getting them to complete anthropologically interesting but completely alien manhood tests around the world I’m not sure. That was Last Man Standing, launched in 2007, in which they went around losing contestants and demonstrating endurance in the pursuit of cultural understanding – and being the

hardest. A sort of ‘take from it what works for you’ format. Now the series is back with fit young women stepping up to the mark in an equal rights demonstration of the toughness of tribal ladies – the first epsiode sees our five athletes learning Huka-Huka wrestling with the Kamayura Tribe in Brazil. In a week. It is very informative, but also quite scantily clad. Lots of learning and growing, but cramming a lifetimes’ cultural learning into seven days. Makes me feel like I’m reading Darwin For Dummies with the grown up book’s dust jacket over the cover. It’s still a spectacle. But is that the only way we’ll learn these days? In Roman times, the gladiators served to distract the plebs from their troubles, to keep them from uprising. The violence people craved was provided, but in a manner controlled by the powers that be. Gone are the Spitting Image shows of old on a Saturday night, instead replaced with spectacles. Some hitting each other, some hitting out at nature, and some just hitting the high notes. follow me on twitter

latestvicky

IS YOUR BUSINESS IN SEVEN DIALS? To be involved in our Seven Dials area feature please call Rachel now on 01273 818 150 x 105


047_LS461_TV_Tue

2/4/10

2:55 PM

Page 1

tuesday 9 Chinese Food In Minutes Five, 7.30pm Step away from the takeaway menu and step up to the cooker. So much quicker, and you’ll see just how easy it is with the help of chef Ching-He Huang. Moving over from her own show on the UK Food channel, her recipes are all set to make your mouth water with this new series. Who’s up for sweet and sour ribs? Yum!

I Hate Mum BBC1, 10.35pm The latest in the Being Mum season is this disturbing documentary following the progress of two boys as they visit a specialist unit to help families. Ten-year-old Adam is violent towards his mum and brother, 16year-old Ryan has been excluded from school and scares his whole family. Here’s hoping help works.

The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 9pm Dear Diary, today I bit a person. ‘Twas a bit naughty but rather tasty. Um, not quite. Combining the popular TV genres of high school beauties and supernatural beasties, this latest addition to the ITV2 stable of imports adds that extra dimension to teen angst. Mr Tanner wants vamp Stefan to try out for football. Hm.

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ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11.00 Best Of Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Gigglebiz 3.30 Tronji 3.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Deadly 60 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Caught In The Web - A Newsround Special 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As police rumours circle the Square, will Ronnie be able to follow through with her promise of a fresh start? Max does what he can to protect Bradley whilst Zainab determines to solve the mystery of Bianca’s hen night. 8.00 Holby City Penny wants to keep a secret relationship with Scott under the radar, but when things get too much to bear she admits everything to a stunned Ollie and a furious Elliot. 9.00 Survivors Tom and Greg are enslaved in Mr Smithson’s coal mine. Elsewhere, the Family are desperately tracking Billy, their only lead, across the country. At a roadside motel Billy stops to meet his girlfriend Sally and when the Family confront him, Billy claims ignorance. Meanwhile in the mine, Greg formulates an escape plan. Do you think the two hard men have bonded? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 I Hate Mum See highlights. 11.25 Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross Film review show. 11.55 The Apprentice USA 12.40am The Apprentice 1.20 Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 2.55 Obama’s America 3.55 BBC News

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Little Prairie Dogs 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Caught In The Web: A Newsround Special 11.30 Copyk@tz Beware! 11.45 Something Special - Out And About 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Panic Attack 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce introduces us to more Antiques Roadshow treasures, including some items that were bought for pennies and turned out to be worth a small fortune. 7.00 The Great Rift: Africa’s Wild Heart The valley provides the stage for an epic battle between trees and grass - its course influenced by volcanic eruptions, landscape and rainfall. Busy old nature. 8.00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best Series celebrating the very best of British home cooking. 9.00 How Earth Made Us Professor Iain Stewart explores man’s relationship with fire. He begins by embarking on an extraordinary encounter with this terrifying force of nature - a walk right through the heart of a raging fire. Not a miracle. 10.00 Muslim Driving School An insight into the lives of Muslim women learner drivers, their instructors and their families. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of news. 11.20 Mad Men Drama series which takes an unflinching look at the world of advertising in 1960s New York. A mandatory overtime session leaves the creatives trying to stave off latenight boredom. 12.10am BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 According To Jim 10.15 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.10 Cooking It 12.40 The Home Show 1.45 FILM: Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (1973) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Hannah is feeling both excited and sad to be leaving. A future of swimsuit calendars await in the post-Hollyoaks world. Coo. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance Series in which parenting expert Jo Frost offers no-nonsense advice and talks to specialists about difficult issues that affect modern children. In this programme, Jo asks Professor Doug Gentile whether violent computer games can alter a child’s behaviour for the worse. 9.00 One Born Every Minute Flyon-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward. Or – a viewing test to see how clucky your partner is. Sly. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama. Karen’s obsessive drive to prove herself more than just a mum has Jamie worried. Meanwhile, Yvonne is in debt and out of her depth when Paddy comes collecting. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Leonard, Raj and Howard go on a camping trip which alters their minds. 11.35 8 Out Of 10 Cats Topical comedy panel show. 12.25am Full Tilt Poker Late Night Poker 1.25 World Sport 1.50 Lives Of The Artists 2.45 Bullrun 2009 3.10 FIVB Beach Volleyball 4.00 Ironman UK 4.25 Freesports On 4 4.55 St Elsewhere 5.45 The Treacle People

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor: Inside And Out 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Hero Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 FILM: Rescuers: Stories Of Courage - Two Women (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Geoff struggles to protect Ruby inside the Diner. Mink rubs Gina up the wrong way. Rabbit has a premonition... 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Chinese Food In Minutes See highlights. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. Hugh and Phil tackle another run up the Dalton. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs are called to the brutal murder of a much-loved football coach. When the case is linked to the drowning of a call girl, both a star player and a seedy sponsor are placed in the frame. Ugh. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. The CSIs are called to an exclusive fashion boutique when a young girl is killed in an explosion. Elsewhere, Horatio discovers Julia has stopped taking her medication. Could her mounting instability lead to tragedy? 11.00 CSI: NY Crime drama. The CSI team investigates a string of murders revolving around an online world. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Netbusters 1.30 Football League 3.00 Football Asia 3.30 Netbusters 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Football’s Next Star 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice 1.30am Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 Football Asia 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl’s patience with the kids runs out. Natasha’s attempts to help Maisie backfire. Olena finds Sam’s attentions uncomfortable. 7.30 The Krypton Factor Ben Shephard hosts the ultimate challenge for brain and body. 8.00 Cops With Cameras Cameras follow life on the front line. 9.00 Amanda Holden’s Fantasy Lives In this final programme, she takes on the mantle of country singer. She travels to Nashville for some tips from the great Kenny Rogers before taking to the stage to perform in front of an audience that includes country music aficionado and DJ Whispering Bob Harris. Then she heads to Austin, Texas, to help organise and take part in a country extravaganza. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan On... Monte Carlo Piers Morgan visits Monte Carlo, in the tiny but glamorous principality of Monaco, a tax haven which is home to more billionaires per square foot than anywhere on the planet. Schmooze, schmooze... schmooze. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 12.00pm Poker 2.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 2.30 IRB Sevens 5.30 Test Cricket 6.30 International Cricket 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Poker 12.15am Saadiyat Beach Classic Golf 1.15 World Cup Of Pool

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 12.30pm PGA Tour Classic 1.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 4.00 Bass Fishing 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 LIVE Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 9.00 International Cricket 11.00 Tennis 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 International Cricket

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12.00pm The Biggest Loser: Australia (x2) 1.00 Bones 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Caprica 10.00 Lost (x2) 12.00am Caprica

7.00pm Wallace And Gromit: A Grand Day Out 7.25 FILM: Cool Runnings (1993) 9.00 Last Woman Standing 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Last Woman Standing 12.50am Coming Of Age 1.20 The Real Hustle Undercover 1.50 Sun, Sex And Holiday Madness

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hidden Histories 8.00 The Sky At Night 8.30 Around The World By Zeppelin 10.00 We Need Answers 10.30 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 11.00 Dinner With Portillo 11.30 The Sky At Night 12.00am High Flyers: How Britain Took To The Air

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 American Idol: Road To Hollywood 7.00 Take Me Out 8.00 What Katie Did Next: The Best Bits 9.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 12.10am FILM: Inside Man (2006) 2.40 Emmerdale 3.05 Teleshopping

11.50am The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Mr Bean 8.30 Mr Bean 9.00 Taggart 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

2.05pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Embarrassing Teenage Bodies 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Skins 1.15 Veronica Mars

4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Mafia Hunters 11.25 True Stories: The Trials Of Amanda Knox 12.50am Come Dine With Me 1.55 True Stories

3.00pm Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 New America’s Next Top Model 9.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 10.00 Most Haunted: Almost Live Series 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

G.O.L.D.

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4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Swords: Life On The Line 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 1.00 Storm Chasers

1.00pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: 7 Seconds (2005) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: A World Of Desire (1994)

6.00am Anastasia (1956) 7.55 The War Lord (1965) 10.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 12.25pm Stalag 17 (1953) 2.30 Notorious (1946) 4.15 Giant (1956) 7.30 Apache (1954) 9.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 11.25 Stalag 17 (1953) 1.35am Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962)

11.15am The Movie Geek 11.45 Things We Lost In The Fire (2007) 1.45pm Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983) 3.40 The Bank Job (2008) 5.40 The Movie Geek 6.10 Hero (2002) 8.00 Things We Lost In The Fire (2007) 10.00 The Bank Job (2008) 11.55 Hero (2002)

11.00am Dragonwyck (1946) 1.05pm The River’s Edge (1957) 2.50 The League Of Gentlemen (1960) 5.00 The Raid (1954) 6.40 Elizabethtown (2005) 9.00 X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 11.00 The Conformist (1970) 1.10am Wendy And Lucy (2008)

9.10am Woman In The Window (1945) 11.10 The Road To Hong Kong (1962) 1.00pm The Oklahoman (1957) 3.00 The Children’s Hour (1961) 5.05 Eight On The Lam (1967) 7.10 A Rumor Of Angels (1999) 9.00 1984 (1984) 11.20 Doc (1971) 1.15am You’re A Big Boy Now (1966) 3.00 Teleshopping

3.20pm The Green Green Grass (x2) 4.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Yes, Minister (x2) 8.40 Porridge 9.20 Fawlty Towers 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Blackadder The Third 11.20 The Smell Of Reeves And Mortimer 12.00am Early Doors 12.40 The Royle Family

5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2) 1.40 Comedy Store

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wednesday 10 Midsomer Murders ITV1, 8pm Barnaby’s coming to Brightontown! Yay! And obviously while he’s here he’s bound to bump into our very own local star Brian Capron. This is getting spookier by the second. Actually, it’s all about a plot involving a coastal property deal and Causton’s mayor, as well as a very old family. Hope he sees the pier.

Horizon: To Infinity And Beyond BBC2, 9pm In theory, we could start counting now and still not have finished by the time we croak it, even if that leaves us with a long and fruitful life, albeit full of numbers. Infinity seems like such a simple idea, but when you get to the point of nothing you enter a world of paradoxes. Welcome to infinity.

Film: Rumble Fish Sky Movies Indie, 3.50pm Directed by Francis Ford Coppola and starring the very younglooking Matt Dillon and Mickey Rourke, with Dennis Hopper briefly as their father, this was based on a cult novel and left its mark on the critical movie world. A tale of young gang warfare and finding your own voice in a hailstorm of harsh expectations.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11.00 Best Of Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Gigglebiz 3.30 Tronji 3.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 SMart 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers Food writer Nigel Slater creates a week’s worth of simple yet delicious meals, using everyday ingredients to rustle up sumptuous food that is both inspiring and achievable. 8.00 Rogue Traders Matt Allwright is back on his bike for this one-hour special. There is an explosive confrontation when he exposes the government-approved roofing company who tried to charge a pensioner a staggering 14k for a roof he doesn’t need. 9.00 Cars, Cops And Criminals Dedicated police squads go after violent criminals who are targeting vulnerable lorry drivers and their valuable loads, while investigators identify stolen caravans which have been sold to unsuspecting people. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Want some of that moolah! 10.45 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the latest Premier League matches. 12.05am FILM: In Dreams (1999) 1.40 Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.45 Country Tracks 3.40 Too Old To Be A Mum? 4.20 BBC News

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 League Of Super Evil 8.10 Street Monsters 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Zigby 8.40 Kerwhizz 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Little Prairie Dogs 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Panic Attack 2.30 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce presides over another trawl through Antiques Roadshow’s substantial backcatalogue. 7.00 Coast The Coast team journey around the breathtaking shoreline of East Anglia. Lots of nooks and crannies. 8.00 Natural World Wildlife documentary. Multi-award-winning writer Robert Macfarlane sets out on a journey to explore the unexpected landscapes and natural history of Essex. Innit? 9.00 Horizon: To Infinity And Beyond See highlights. 10.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Dominic West and guest panellists James May and Reginald D Hunter. Strange to see Dominic ‘McNulty’ West smiling, with an English accent and with spectacles. It’s almost like he was acting in The Wire. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.20 Jonathan Meades: Off-Kilter Architecture critic Jonathan Meades concludes his quixotic tour of Scotland in Fife. 12.20am BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Proud Parents 12.15 Cooking It 12.50 FILM: Airport (1970) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor: Inside And Out 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Hero Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Living With The Enemy (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Alf struggles with the aftermath of the siege. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Alexander’s Tomb Historical documentary series probing the secrets of Ancient Egypt. This instalment looks at the ongoing hunt for the tomb of Alexander the Great - conqueror and self-proclaimed pharaoh of Egypt. Da Boss. 9.00 NCIS US drama series based on the work of the navy’s dedicated federal agency. In this instalment, the investigation into the brutal murder of a marine hits a major snag when it emerges that the main suspect is also the key witness in an ongoing FBI case. Tricky. 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama. The kidnapping of a young girl becomes more complicated when the agents learn she could be the first human clone. Don’t call her ‘Dolly’. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime. After a well-respected nun is slain in church, detectives discover a connection to a case of racial violence that was never solved. 11.55 PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.25am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 4.00pm Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 5.00 Football Asia 5.30 Total Rugby 6.00 Boots N All 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.30am Boots N All 2.30 Spanish Cup Football 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 European Tour Weekly 5.30 Total Rugby

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl is annoyed when the kids get up to mischief. Maisie’s recklessness takes a dangerous turn. 7.30 Lion Country David Youlden is an Englishman with a passion for lions and a determination to stem their decline before it is too late. Numbers of wild African lions have dropped by as much as 80 per cent in the last 50 years and David and his colleagues at the African Lion and Environmental Research Trust are among those fighting to halt the process. In this programme, David takes three lionesses on their first night hunt. They must learn to work together in order to survive. 8.00 Midsomer Murders See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Whole Ten Yards (2004) Starring Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollack, Natasha Henstridge and Frank Collison. Crime comedy sequel. A retired hit man’s quiet new life in Mexico is shattered when a former associate begs for his help to rescue his wife who has been abducted by a Hungarian crime lord in revenge for the killing of his son. Of course. 12.25am October Road 1.15 Loose Women 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Hannah and Jamie wake up in their hotel room, but Blue is on the war path and is determined to find them. Theresa tells Anita she has her eye on Ste. Well, he has been looking quite dishy with that Dancing On Ice malarkey. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Kirstie and Phil help Derek Leslie and his partner Fiona Smith, who are looking for a home in the Perthshire countryside and a bolthole on the Scottish west coast. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies Christian Jessen and Pixie McKenna uncover the nation’s most awkward medical complaints. The doctors hit the streets of London to meet some stressed city workers. Because us workers in the rest of the country are so laid back. Humph. 10.00 Desperate Housewives Comedy drama. Gaby reunites with her ex-lover and old gardener, John Rowland, in a chance encounter. Meanwhile, Lynette and Tom break the news to their kids that she’s pregnant again. 11.00 Shameless Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.00am 4 Music: 360 Sessions 12.35 Gerry’s Big Decision 1.40 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.25 The Closer 4.10 St Elsewhere 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Treacle People

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 World Cup Of Pool 10.00 Saadiyat Beach Classic Golf 11.00 Poker 1.00pm Revista De La Liga 2.00 Test Cricket 3.00 Poker 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 Inside The PGA Tour 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.15am Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 12.45 Total Rugby 1.15 Poker 3.15 Inside The PGA Tour 3.45 European Tour Weekly 4.15 Sailing: America’s Cup 2010

Sky Sports 3 10.00am Tennis 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Airsports World 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Cup Of Pool 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 Boots N All 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 10.30 Cage Fighting: Ultimate Challenge MMA - Resurrection 12.00am Test Cricket 1.00 Netball: Super League 3.00 Cage Fighting: Ultimate Challenge MMA Resurrection

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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Fat Families 9.00 Got To Dance 10.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 11.00 FILM: Die Hard (1988) 1.35am NCIS: LA 2.35 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan

7.00pm Doctor Who Greatest Moments 7.15 Doctor Who 8.00 Doctor Who Confidential 8.15 Doctor Who 9.00 Vampires: Why They Bite 10.00 FILM: Interview With The Vampire (1994) 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 Coming Of Age 1.15 Hotter Than My Daughter 1.45 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 It’s Only A Theory 8.00 Snowdrift At Bleath Gill 8.10 Great Railway Journeys 9.00 Syrian School 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 We Need Answers 11.15 It’s Only A Theory 11.45 Dinner With Portillo 12.15am Great Railway Journeys 1.05 Syrian School 2.05 Latin Music USA

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Popstar To Operastar 8.00 American Idol: Hollywood 1 9.00 FILM: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed And Fabulous (2005) 11.20 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) 1.55am Emmerdale 2.20 Teleshopping 4.20 Surface 5.05 Teleshopping

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 An Audience With Cliff Richard 9.00 When Piers Met Sir Cliff 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.55am Inspector Morse

2.00pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: White Noise (2004) 11.00 The Cleveland Show (x2) 12.00am How I Met Your Mother 12.30 Scrubs (x2) 1.30 Being Erica

4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Henry VIII’s Lost Palaces: A Time Team Special 10.35 Time Team 11.40 The Good Wife 12.40am Henry VIII’s Lost Palaces: A Time Team Special

2.00pm Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Supernatural (x2) 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Boston Legal 2.00 Diet On The Dancefloor

G.O.L.D.

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2.00pm Killer Tanks: Fighting The Iron Fist 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Investigation X 10.00 Death Machines 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2)

2.00pm Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: DragonQuest (2009) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 FILM: Quantum Apocalypse (2010) 9.50 FILM: Solar Destruction (2008) 11.30 FILM: 7 Seconds (2005) 1.30am Angel

10.50am The Great Escape (1963) 1.45pm Around The World In Eighty Days (1956) 4.40 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 6.20 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 9.00 The Great Escape (1963) 11.55 For Whom The Bell Tolls (1943) 2.40am Romanoff & Juliet (1961)

9.00am Three Kings (1999) 11.00 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.30pm War, Inc (2008) 3.20 The Movie Geek 3.50 Rumble Fish (1983). See highlights. 5.35 Three Kings (1999) 7.35 Julia (2008) 10.00 War, Inc (2008) 11.50 Rumble Fish (1983) 1.35am Girl 6 (1996) 3.40 Tube Tales (1999)

11.00am An American Guerrilla In The Philippines (1950) 1.05pm Love Is A Many Splendored Thing (1955) 3.10 Genevieve (1953) 4.55 Young At Heart (1954) 7.10 Robots (2005) 9.00 The Godfather (1972) 12.20am Cries And Whispers (1972) 2.10 Straightheads (2007)

9.00am Eight On The Lam (1967) 11.05 A Rumor Of Angels (1999) 1.00pm The Night They Raided Minsky’s (1968) 3.00 The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962) 5.00 The Fortune Cookie (1966) 7.15 My Blue Heaven (1990) 9.00 Heaven’s Gate (1980) 1.00am Lean On Me (1989)

2.55pm As Time Goes By (x2) 4.35 Blackadder The Third 5.15 Porridge 5.55 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.15 Dinnerladies (x2) 8.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 Smack The Pony (x2) 12.25am The Royle Family 1.00 Absolutely Fabulous 1.40 Smack The Pony

4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Grumpy Old Men 10.40 Sex And The City (x2) 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am South Park (x2)

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thursday 11 Coronation Street ITV1, 8.30pm Gail, Gail, Gail. Whenever will you learn that just ‘cos a fella fancies you it doesn’t mean you should go out with them, let alone marry them? It’s what most girls discover in school! Luckily David rides in to the rescue after Joe’s vanishing act. Comes to something when David’s the knight in (tarnished) armour.

Leaving Home At 8 Channel 4, 9pm Some are still living at home in their 30s, having their pants ironed by mum, and others are out of the nest at eight years old. Yup, boarding school before they reach double figures is what some parents consider the best thing for their treasures. This follows four young girls and their mothers through the separation.

Hotter Than My Daughter BBC3, 8.30pm In a similar vein to the other show hosted by an ex-Atomic Kitten and with an inflammatory name (Snog Marry Avoid?), here comes Liz McClarnon to validate us pointing and wincing at mutton dressed as lamb. Ish. A public jury decides whether mum or daughter should change their image to sit comfortably with us.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11.00 Best Of Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Gigglebiz 3.30 Tronji 3.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Horrible Histories 4.35 Relic: Guardians Of The Museum 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ronnie begins to fold under the pressure of the police investigation whilst Jack is torn between a rock and a hard place. 8.00 Material Girl It’s Ali’s big day, as she has her first show at Fashion Week. The whole team’s on hand to get the collection onto the catwalk, but then Ali’s estranged mum turns up, Davina tries to sabotage the show and Ali goes into meltdown. Whoops. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama series about a team of forensic pathologists. Leo does community service on a rough estate after being done for drink driving. Gang violence amongst the kids there is rife, and Leo gets involved when one of them is stabbed. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time comes from Belfast. David Dimbleby chairs. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 The Art Of Russia 1.55 Countryfile 2.50 Natural World 3.50 The Rat Pack 4.20 BBC News

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Zigby 8.40 Kerwhizz 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Little Prairie Dogs 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Eon Straddler Time Traveller 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Panic Attack 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Another look over three decades of the Antiques Roadshow. 7.00 The Culture Show Andrew Graham-Dixon presents from the Barbican in London where Tom Dyckhoff talks to Ron Arad about his first major British exhibition. 8.00 Simon King’s Shetland Diaries Spring arrives in Shetland, bringing with it an influx of wildlife from all over the world. Simon dives in the sea and discovers starfish, dead man’s fingers and moon jellyfish. Is he just making this up? 9.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are joined by guests Milton Jones, Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh. 9.30 Rab C Nesbitt Comedy. Rab struggles to get his head round all the angles in a love triangle involving his son Gash, his local barmaid Camille and his best mate Jamesie. 10.00 Bellamy’s People Comedy series in which Gary Bellamy tries to pin down what it means to be British. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Persuasionists Sitcom. HHH&H has slipped down the ad agency creativity rankings, so Clive threatens to demote anyone who can’t prove they’re creative. 11.50 The Culture Show Repeat. 12.50am BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Proud Parents 12.15 Cooking It 12.45 The Home Show 1.45 FILM: The Outcast (1954) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The scene with Jamie goes from bad to worse for Hannah as Blue lies unconscious. Jamie is determined to make a run for it but Darren and the police are closing in. Darren’s a good guy? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 My Dream Farm Experienced horticulturist Monty Don helps six families return to the land. Kierti Vaidya gave up her city lifestyle to farm alpacas in Warwickshire. However, she failed to get planning permission before building her farm house and is being forced by the council to leave. The devil is in the detail. And council paperwork. just ask any Hitchhiker’s Guide fan. 9.00 Leaving Home At 8 See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Guests include Daryl Hannah and Nicholas Hoult, while Mika drops by for a chat and a sing. Everybody... 10.50 Derren Brown: Something Wicked This Way Comes Derren Brown’s award-winning show filmed live at the Old Vic, London, featuring audience participation, shocking stunts and subliminal mind games. 12.25am Gerry’s Big Decision 1.25 FILM: One Night At McCool’s (2001) 3.00 Dispatches: Post Office Undercover 3.55 The Bible: A History 4.45 Countdown 5.30 Yo Gabba Gabba

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Hero Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Jane Doe The Harder They Fall (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole is devastated by her exam results. Angelo receives a promotion. Alf withdraws from those who love him. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Chester Zoo, narrated by Jane Horrocks. 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country Property and lifestyle series with Charlie Luxton. Charlie meets a couple who have uprooted their three young daughters to start a new life in beautiful Barbados. Dawn and Marcus plan to build a large, openplan home with guest apartments for rent. Sounds lush. 9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Robson plumbs the depths of Sri Lanka’s fishing heritage. He visits the colourful Kandy Perahera festival, goes cave fishing in Uda Walawe National Park and attempts to catch the mighty mahseer. Sounds like a Hanna Barbara character. 10.00 FILM: Scream III (1999) Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, Liev Schreiber, Parker Posey. Final instalment of the tongue-in-cheek horror trilogy. 12.20am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 Boots N All 8.00 Inside The PGA Tour 8.30 European Tour Weekly 9.00 Live European Tour Golf 12.00pm Inside The PGA Tour 12.30 Football First: Match Choice 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 Premier League Darts 4.00 SPL Round-Up 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 Tracking Eero 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val is worried that Pollard is working too hard. 7.30 Facing The Enemy: Tonight Fiona Foster investigates whether meeting their victims cuts reoffending among criminals. She gets access to some of the police forces using this method. 8.00 Emmerdale Carl is determined to find out what made his kids ill. 8.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 9.00 The Bill Sgt Stone and PC Leon Taylor find themselves involved in an armed siege after Alan Wilcock reports that his mentally unbalanced ex-wife Carly has locked herself in his house with their young son. When she discharges a firearm, CO19 are called in to diffuse the situation, and Sgt Jo Masters quickly establishes a rapport with the aggrieved woman. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Road Warriors We follow Lance Corporal Lisa West and her fiance Lance Corporal Karl Cracknell as they join a supply convoy into a dangerous area of Afghanistan known as IED alley. 11.35 The Krypton Factor 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.00 Loose Women 1.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.40 Facing The Enemy: Tonight 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 9.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 11.30 Football First: Match Choice 1.00pm Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 1.30 Boots N All 2.30 European Tour Golf 5.30 The Rugby Club 6.30 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Tracking Eero 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 The Rugby Club 3.00 Sky Sports Classics 3.15 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Sailing: America’s Cup 2010 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Netball: Super League 10.00 Live Tennis 4.00pm ATP Tour Uncovered 4.30 Airsports World 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 6.30 LIVE Tennis 10.30 WWE Late Night Raw 12.30am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 4.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 Snow Ride

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Living

2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Two And A Half Men 9.00 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 10.00 Bones 11.00 Fat Families 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Hotter Than My Daughter. See highlights. 9.00 Dancing On Wheels 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle Undercover (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Dancing On Wheels 1.20 Material Girl 2.20 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 Light Fantastic 9.00 The Great Offices Of State 10.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 10.30 Later Latin 11.30 FILM: Tell No One (2006) 1.35am Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 2.05 The Great Offices Of State 3.05 Light Fantastic

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 American Idol: Hollywood 2 9.00 What Katie Did Next 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.35 FILM: Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998) 12.45am Coronation Street

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Numb3rs 11.05 FILM: The Guru (2001) 12.55am Inspector Morse 2.35 On The Buses

2.00pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Skins 11.00 Glee 12.00am How I Met Your Mother 12.30 Scrubs (x2)

3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Closer 12.00am The Good Wife 12.55 Brothers And Sisters

1.00pm Nothing To Declare (x2) 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Medium 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Boston Legal

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 6 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Extreme Engineering: The Peruvian Tunnel And Dam 10.00 Swords: Life On The Line 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2)

2.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Quest For Akhenaten’s Tomb (2008) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 10.00 Dollhouse 11.00 Bionic Woman 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: Queen Of The Galaxy (1994) 1.50 Angel

10.00am The Blue Dahlia (1946) 11.45 Spartacus (1960) 3.00pm Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? (1966) 5.15 Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 7.00 Ben-Hur (1959) 10.30 How The West Was Won (1962) 1.10am A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) 3.25 Spartacus (1960)

10.40am Being John Malkovich (1999) 12.40pm 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 2.40 Buffalo ‘66 (1998) 4.40 Margot At The Wedding (2007) 6.20 What Just Happened (2008) 8.05 Being John Malkovich (1999) 10.00 Stealing Beauty (1996) 12.00am Buffalo ‘66 (1998)

11.00am My Neighbour Totoro (1988) 12.45pm The Barefoot Contessa (1954) 3.25 Footsteps In The Fog (1955) 5.10 Black Narcissus (1946) 7.10 Baby’s Day Out (1994) 9.00 The Godfather Part II (1974) 12.50am Changing Lanes (2001)

9.00am The Fortune Cookie (1966) 11.10 My Blue Heaven (1990) 1.00pm Kid Galahad (1937) 3.00 Tom Jones (1963) 5.40 Hotel (1967) 8.15 The Screening Room 9.00 Posse (1975) 11.15 Audrey Rose (1977) 1.45am Chuck Jones: Memories Of Childhood 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Kid Galahad (1937)

12.40pm Steptoe And Son (x2) 2.00 The Brittas Empire (x2) 3.20 Keeping Up Appearances (x2) 4.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Steptoe And Son (x2) 8.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Fawlty Towers 10.40 Men Behaving Badly 11.20 Game On 12.00am Porridge

4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 FILM: When Harry Met Sally (1989) 12.00am Sex And The City (x2) 1.10 Two And A Half Men (x2)

Classics

Indie


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friday 12 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain BBC2, 7pm Mr Marr’s national history has reached the 1980s and with it Thatcher’s Britain – a time of polarised political views and challenges to the imperial view with the Falklands crisis. Will memory prove true to the facts, and are we all really Thatcher’s children? Scary thought.

Young, Angry And White Channel 4, 7.30pm Uncomfortable viewing for many of us, as Peter Beard’s documentary follows 19-year-old Kieren who is considering joining the BNP, much to the shock of his moderate-thinking family. They’re worried about how the choices he’s making will affect his future. With more of today’s youth getting angry, this is timely.

Heroes Of Comedy More4, 11.45pm Perfect post-pub fodder that’ll make you laugh and set you up seamlessly for that weekend feeling. A study of the career of Tommy Cooper, with his excellent timing, corpsing and physical awkwardness is simply classic feelgood comedy. Among those paying tribute are his widow, Anthony Hopkins and Eric Sykes.

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Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under Revisited 11.00 Best Of Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Gigglebiz 3.30 Tronji 3.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 ROY 4.35 Gastronuts 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 8.00 EastEnders Dot struggles to come to terms with Dotty’s behaviour. 8.30 QI Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gets to grips with gravity, with help from Barry Humphries, Bill Bailey, Rich Hall and Alan Davies. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama series. Frustration within the team builds as Harry and Nikki struggle to find any useful evidence from the postmortems to help the police. No one will talk, and they have no leads. Leo worries for Levi, who is sucked further into a world of gangs and violence. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Chat and music with Jonathan Ross. Who else? 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Is that like a million lira used to be or will it actually be loadsa dosh? 11.45 FILM: Timecop (1994) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ron Silver, Mia Sara. Futuristic thriller. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: An Island Parish 1.50 Seven Ages Of Britain 2.50 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.50 BBC News

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Little Prairie Dogs 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Class Clips 11.15 Primary Geography: A Village In Bangladesh 11.25 Something Special 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Panic Attack 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Another fascinating ramble through the Antiques Roadshow archive, with Fiona Bruce. 7.00 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain See highlights. 8.00 Mastermind The specialist subjects are TV westerns of the 50s and 60s, the life and work of Tolkein, the government of Gough Whitlam 1972 -1975, and the life and career of Dixie Dean. 8.30 An Island Parish There’s a big threat to Phil and Mimi’s dream life on the Isles of Scilly when they discover that the hotel where they both work is in deep financial trouble. 9.00 Mastercrafts Under Monty Don’s watchful eye three hopefuls who are passionate about learning green wood craft are put through their paces by the country’s leading practitioners. The students quickly find out that this is no holiday. 10.00 Mock The Week Repeat of Thursday’s show. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.00 The Review Show Round table arts and culture discussion. 11.45 Heroes Drama series. 12.30am Nurse Jackie 1.00 Robbie Williams: Electric Proms 1.45 2010 Winter Olympics: Opening Ceremony

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Cooking It 12.30 The Home Show 1.35 FILM: War Of The Wildcats (1943) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leo punches Gaz after finding out about the prank at the ball. They’re so articulate on Hollyoaks, it’s a surprise he resorted to brute force. Really. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Young, Angry And White See highights. 8.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under Phil helps three generations of the same family find their first permanent home in almost a decade in the Northern Beaches area of Sydney. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA The Hot Potato Café in Fishtown, Philadelphia has been dubbed ‘Spuddy Hell’, and may have had its chips. The three owners rely on their niece to cook in the kitchen. The problem is that Danielle’s the first to admit that not only does she lack the training to cook but that she also lacks the passion. Bit of a stumper there. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Topical comedy panel show. 10.50 Rude Tube Alex Zane showcases weird videos. 11.50 The Tesco Entertainment Album Chart Show 12.25am 4 Music: 4Play: Gil ScottHeron 12.40 Gerry’s Big Decision 1.40 Drifting 1.55 The Schoolboy Who Sailed The World 3.15 Soft 3.30 Afterworld 3.55 The Invasion 4.10 St Elsewhere 5.00 Countdown

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Hero Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Hidden Places (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Charlie admits she is annoyed about Angelo’s promotion. Blimmin’ man’s world. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Massive Speed Chris Barrie turns his attention to the dangerous world of powerboats, focusing on early stepped-hull boats, recordbreaking three-point hydroplanes and modern racing catamarans. Woof! Really manly machines for Ace Rimmer! 8.00 Austin Stevens Adventures Wildlife adventure series with Austin Stevens. 9.00 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) Starring Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman, Milla Jovovich, Ian Holm, Chris Tucker. Sci-fi adventure set in the 23rd century in which a jaded New York cab driver finds himself in the middle of a battle between good and evil when a beautiful young woman falls into his life from another dimension. Isn’t it annoying when that happens?! In the middle of a shift too. No consideration. 11.35 The Sexy Ads Show Comedian Spencer Brown presents some of the sexiest, weirdest and most shocking commercials. Why? 12.05am SuperCasino 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 Wildlife SOS 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 SPL Round-Up 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Barclays Premier League World 1.00 The Rugby Club 2.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Football League Weekend 1.00 Super League 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Football League Weekend 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nathan warns Ryan to stay away from his family. Pollard reluctantly agrees to get help in the kitchen. 7.30 Coronation Street Ken decides to confront Peter once and for all, even though he is in denial. 8.00 Dancing On Ice Friday Love is in the air as it is Valentine’s Week on Dancing on Ice (and in the real world too – dur!). The celebrities will be revealing what they love and hate about their skating partners. 8.30 Coronation Street Sunita’s aunts interrogate a flustered Dev, much to his embarrassment. 9.00 Popstar To Operastar It’s the semi-final stage of the contest, and the four remaining popstars perform a selection of new arias in a bid to stay in the competition for next week’s final. With the public deciding which two singers will leave after their performances, the stakes are high. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Maverick (1994) Starring Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, James Garner, Graham Greene, Alfred Molina and James Coburn. Comedy western based on the TV series of the same name. He’s a gambler – but cheeky with it. 12.50am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 FILM: Peeping Tom (1960) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30pm Race World 1.30 International Cricket 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 International Cricket 6.30 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am World Sport 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 European Tour Golf 5.30 Snow Ride

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 WWE Raw 11.00 Racing News 11.30 LIVE Tennis 3.30pm ATP Tour Uncovered 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 World Sport 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 IEX Magazine 6.30 LIVE Tennis 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Elite League Ice Hockey 3.30 Super League 5.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.30 Airsports World

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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 9.00 Lost 10.00 Modern Family (x2) 11.00 Football’s Next Star 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan

7.00pm Top Gear 8.05 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.10 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 I Believe In UFOs: Danny Dyer 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Coming Of Age 12.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.45 I Believe In UFOs: Danny Dyer 2.45 Being Human

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Paganini’s Daemon 8.45 Herb Alpert And His Tijuana Brass 9.00 Latin Music USA 10.00 FILM: La Bamba (1987) 11.45 The Old Grey Whistle Test 12.25am Latin Music USA 1.25 Later Latin 2.25 The Old Grey Whistle Test 3.05 Paganini’s Daemon

12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 Dancing On Ice 7.30 Dancing On Ice - The Skate Off 8.00 The Vampire Diaries 9.00 FILM: Passenger 57 (1993) 10.45 Coronation Street (x2) 11.45 What Katie Did Next 12.50am Emmerdale

5.10pm On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.45 Ballykissangel 7.50 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.55 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.05 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 11.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 2.10am Cane 2.55 On The Buses

3.05pm Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Wife Swap: The Last Episode 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 How I Met Your Mother 12.25am Scrubs (x2) 1.25 School Of Comedy

4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.45 Heroes Of Comedy. See highlights. 1.20am FILM: Shawshank Redemption (1994)

2.00pm Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x3) 1.00am Boston Legal 2.00 Diet On The Dancefloor 3.00 Charmed (x2) 4.40 10 Years Younger US (x2)

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

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3.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 6 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Hitler - A Profile 10.00 World War I In Colour 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 1.00 Extreme Engineering

2.00pm Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Fireball (2009) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 FILM: Bone Eater (2007) 9.40 FILM: The Lost Treasure Of The Grand Canyon (2008) 11.30 FILM: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) 1.20am Angel

10.35am Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969) 12.20pm 35mm 12.50 East Of Eden (1955) 2.50 Rear Window (1954) 4.50 The Conqueror (1956) 6.50 Samson And Delilah (1949) 9.00 The Wild Bunch (1969) 11.25 East Of Eden (1955) 1.20am Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969)

9.00am Into The Wild (2007) 11.30 The Joy Luck Club (1993) 1.50pm Three Kings (1999) 3.50 Badlands (1973) 5.30 Into The Wild (2007) 8.00 Three Kings (1999) 10.00 In Bruges (2008) 11.50 Badlands (1973) 1.30am Youth Without Youth (2007) 3.40 In Bruges (2008)

11.00am Nausicaa: Valley Of The Wind (1984) 1.25pm Pickup On South Street (1953) 3.00 Sea Of Sand (1958) 4.55 Jane Eyre (1944) 6.55 Batman (1966) 9.00 Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) 10.50 The Conversation (1974) 1.05am Marathon Man (1976)

7.00am Tom Jones (1963) 9.50 Hotel (1967) 1.00pm Along Came Jones (1945) 3.00 Cold Turkey (1971) 5.15 Gypsy (1962) 8.00 Chuck Jones: Memories Of Childhood 9.00 The Taking Of Pelham 123 (1974) 11.05 Rancho Deluxe (1975) 1.05am The Taking Of Pelham 123 (1974) 3.00 Teleshopping

3.20pm As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Yes, Minister (x2) 8.40 Porridge 9.20 Fawlty Towers 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Little Britain 11.20 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40 The Royle Family 1.20 Little Britain

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 Lee Evans Live From The West End 12.30am 30 Rock (x2)

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saturday 13 So You Think You Can Dance: The Final BBC1, 7.45pm The last two guys and two girls have to perform brand new couples routines, plus their solos to win the hearts and votes of the viewers at home. The judges can’t save them now, so it’s all down to that winning smile, nifty footwork and looking fab next to host Cat Deeley. Time to grin.

Film: Volver Channel 4, 11.40pm Pedro Almodóvar’s Oscarwinning Spanish drama about a family of women starring Penelope Cruz. Part ghost story and part crime drama, it features Cruz as a woman coping with the death of her mother, while dealing with the aftermath of her daughter killing Cruz’s abusive husband.

The Queen More4, 9pm More4’s gone Queen mad tonight, kicking off with this drama of the Queen’s life to date – who knows what she’ll get up to next week? – followed by Ten Days That Made The Queen and Last Party At The Palace. It’s positively a regal delight. This focuses on The Queen in the ‘70s, dealing with terrorists and that. Busy lady.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Michael Johnson, Downhill Skier 1.30 Six Nations Rugby: Wales V Scotland 3.55 BBC News 4.00 South East Today 4.05 Six Nations Rugby: France V Ireland

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Jump Nation 9.30 Prank Patrol 10.00 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.30 Keep Your Enemies Close 11.00 The Slammer 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm 2010 Winter Olympics: Opening Ceremony - Highlights 1.00 FILM: The Importance Of Being Earnest (1952) 2.35 Animal Park 3.35 The Art Of Russia 4.35 Final Score 5.15 A History Of Christianity

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.55 Popstar To Operastar 11.55 ITV News & Weather 12.00pm FA Cup Live: Southampton V Portsmouth 2.30 FILM: Field Of Dreams (1989) 4.30 Meridian News And Weather 4.45 ITV News & Weather 5.00 FA Cup Live: Manchester City V Stoke City

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green 12.00pm Chinese Food In Minutes 12.30 Zoo Days 1.00 Animal Rescue Squad 1.15 FILM: The Staircase Murders (2007) 3.05 FILM: Michael (1996) 5.05 FILM: Private Benjamin (1980)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Super League 8.00 LIVE Big Fight Special 11.00 Super League 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Big Fight Special 4.00 Super League 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.45 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond hosts more crashes, smashes and mud splashes on the world’s most ridiculous and extreme obstacle course. Don’t you just wish you were there, minus the sarcastic commentary? Bring back adventure playgrounds! 7.45 So You Think You Can Dance: The Final See highlights. 9.25 Casualty Charlie’s stress levels reach a dangerous high as he tries to deal with Shona and Louis. Jordan worries when Adam returns to work, and Dixie vows to give her father what he wants. A picket fence and a Cuban cigar? Oh, getting the fathers mixed up. 10.15 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy from the world-famous Hammersmith Apollo. The nation’s favourite impressionist, Alistair McGowan, introduces guest appearances from young Scottish comedy prodigy Kevin Bridges and acclaimed comic Reginald D Hunter. Yeah man, he’s so cool he makes a refrigerator shiver just looking at him. 11.00 BBC News 11.20 The Football League Show With all the Championship teams playing five games in two weeks this could be an absolutely pivotal period in the Championship. 12.35am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.35 Weatherview 1.40 BBC News

6.15 Dad’s Army Classic comedy about the Home Guard unit of Walmington-on-Sea. 6.45 Alaska: The Arctic Man Ski And Sno-Go Classic Bit chilly. 7.30 2010 Winter Olympics Live coverage from Whistler as the Olympic skiing gets under way in style. The men’s downhill is one of the Blue Riband events of the Games. Canada’s medal hopefuls have been rocked by injuries, but the home crowd could have plenty to cheer if Manuel Osborne-Paradis reproduces the form that brought him a World Cup victory in Italy. Commentators: Matt Chilton and Graham Bell. 9.15 The Virtual Revolution 20 years on from its invention, Dr Aleks Krotoski continues her investigation of how the web is transforming almost every aspect of our lives. In the third programme of the series, Aleks gives the lowdown on how commerce has colonised the web. 10.15 QI XL Stephen Fry gets to grips with gravity in this extended quiz show, with help from Barry Humphries, Bill Bailey, Rich Hall and Alan Davies. 11.00 Heroes Drama series in which people all over the world deal with their newly-discovered superpowers. Sylar continues to torment Matt. 11.45 The Persuasionists Sitcom. The agency gets more Australian. 12.15am 2010 Winter Olympics

7.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Get ready for another rollicking ride through TV land, as our favourite big-collared telly guide takes us on a tour of the funniest clips he has spotted this week. Fight! 7.45 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness is on a mission to pair up 30 dateless divas, but will any of today’s single boys persuade the ladies to give them a chance? Descending in the love lift this week are a WAG-hating freestyle footballer, a single Scotsman, a dead ringer for Tom Cruise, and a cheeky chappy from Surrey. My goodness! 8.45 All Star Mr & Mrs Emmerdale actress Lucy Pargeter and her fiance Rudi, Star Trek actor George Takei and his partner Brad, and England rugby hero Phil Vickery and his wife Kate battle it out to see who knows the most about their respective other halves in a bid to win £30,000 for their chosen charities. Mate. 9.45 Benidorm One-off special of the sitcom set in the titular Spanish resort. In the aftermath of her ruined wedding, unlucky bride Madge and pal Janice cadge a lift with a mysterious man who turns out to be eccentric Spanish criminal Enrique. 10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FA Cup Highlights 12.00am FILM: The Yakuza (1975) 2.05 FILM: American Graffiti (1973) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.05 Freesports On 4 7.30 World Sport 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Shooting Peter Andre 9.55 Glee 10.50 Mr Hudson Feat. Kanye West: Video Exclusive 10.55 Dave Berry’s Great British Love Songs 11.55 Ultimate Traveller 1.00pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Three Hungry Boys 4.25 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.55 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions In East Yorkshire the final competitor is 28-year-old farmer’s son John Beachell who serves up the meat from one of his brother’s prizewinning lambs. 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 FILM: Fantastic Four (2005) Starring Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Julian McMahon, Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis. Superhero thriller based on the Marvel comic creations. A group of astronauts in deep space receive strange powers in the same cosmic ray accident that creates their nemesis, Dr Doom. Never had a chance for the girl with a name like that. Some parents are so cruel. 9.00 FILM: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) Starring Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Anna Faris, Eddie Izzard. Screwball comedy about a man who must suffer the consequences when he breaks up with his girlfriend – consequences that are magnified by the fact that she has superpowers. 10.50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Guests include Daryl Hannah and Nicholas Hoult, while Mika performs his new single. Not at the same time. 11.40 FILM: Volver (2005) See highlights. 1.50am Swimming 2.05 First Cut: Sleep With Me 2.30 Strange Little Girls 2.50 Afterworld 3.10 St Elsewhere 3.55 Scrapheap Challenge 4.50 Countdown 5.35 The Hoobs

7.00 Five News 7.05 NCIS US drama series about the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. A Pentagon cryptographer is found dead amid suspicions that she may have committed suicide after leaking information. But when it emerges that she was murdered, the team must find out who did it and why. 8.00 NCIS Drama serie. The severed head of a marine is found hidden in the boot of a car, triggering a search for the rest of the body and the man’s killer. It’s the right thing to do. 9.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. The CSIs investigate when a seemingly successful businessman is found dead in the street, having bled to death from every orifice in his body. That’s gotta hurt. Owzies. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A taxi driver accidentally runs over a teenager and pays the ultimate price when a mob beat him to death. However, the team soon discover that it may not have been his car that killed the youth. Oops. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. A nurse takes her frustrations out on the rich, elderly women in her care. Crime of Matron Mayhem? 12.00am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 10.30 NFL America’s Game 11.30 Super League 1.00pm LIVE Tennis 3.00 Friday Fight Night 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Wild Spirits 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 World Sport 3.00 Sky Sports Classics 3.15 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 IEX Magazine 5.30 Max Power 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football (x2) 11.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 NFL - Total Access 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 Spanish Football

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 3.00 Fat Families 4.00 Bite Size Brainiac 4.20 Modern Family 4.50 Got To Dance 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Oops TV 9.00 FILM: Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) 11.20 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 12.20am Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza

7.00pm Outtakes: US Presidents 7.20 The Real Hustle Undercover (x2) 8.20 Top Gear 9.25 FILM: Cool Runnings (1993) 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 FILM: Interview With The Vampire (1994) 1.45am Vampires: Why They Bite 2.40 Being Human 3.40 The Real Hustle Undercover (x2) 4.40 Hotter Than My Daughter

7.00pm Life 8.00 Bombay Railway 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Nurse Jackie 11.00 The Armstrong And Miller Show 11.30 The Thick Of It 12.00am Later Latin 1.00 BBC Proms 2009: Tchaikovsky Night 3.10 Bombay Railway 5.30 Close

1.40pm Nanny 911 2.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 3.00 Holiday Showdown 4.00 BRITs Hits 30 5.00 American Idol: Hollywood 1 6.00 American Idol: Hollywood 2 7.00 FILM: Johnny English (2002) 8.50 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) 11.10 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 1.20am Harry Hill’s TV Burp

12.20pm Hercule Poirot’s Christmas 2.35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.55 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.05 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 11.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 2.00 On The Buses

12.40pm Heartland 1.35 Privileged 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (x5) 11.25 FILM: Save The Last Dance (2001) 1.40am Supernanny 2.35 Gok’s Fashion Fix 3.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus

12.35pm Time Team 1.35 FILM: Jesse James (1939) 3.40 Grand Designs (x5) 9.00 The Queen. See highlights. 10.00 Ten Days That Made The Queen 11.45 Last Party At The Palace 12.50am The Queen 1.50 Ten Days That Made The Queen 3.20 Last Party At The Palace

12.00pm Canada’s Next Top Model 1.00 Ghost Whisperer 2.00 Four Weddings (x5) 5.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 6.00 FILM: Nancy Drew (2007) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 Most Haunted: The Live Series 11.00 Medium 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Canada’s Next Top Model

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Universe (x4) 4.00 Inside Planet Earth 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 8.00 How It’s Made (x2) 9.00 Christianity: A History 10.00 Death Machines 11.00 UFO Outbreak: Investigation X 12.00am The Day After D-Day 1.00 Hitler - A Profile 2.00 World War I In Colour

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 2.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (x5) 7.00 A Town Called Eureka 8.00 FILM: Sands Of Oblivion (2007) 9.50 Lost City Raiders 11.50 Heroes (x4) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Angel

12.15pm Shenandoah (1965) 2.05 Operation Petticoat (1959) 4.10 Strangers On A Train (1951) 6.10 Patton (1970) 9.00 Shenandoah (1965) 10.45 War Of The Worlds (1953) 12.15am Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1965) 2.30 A Medal For Benny (1945) 3.55 Operation Petticoat (1959)

12.10pm There Will Be Blood (2007) 2.50 Hero (2002) 4.40 Bart Got A Room (2008) 6.10 The Movie Geek 6.40 Year Of The Dog (2007) 8.20 Burn After Reading (2008) 10.00 Hero (2002) 11.45 Serial Mom (1994) 1.20am There Will Be Blood (2007) 4.00 Arctic Tale

11.00am Porco Rosso (1992) 1.00pm Baby’s Day Out (1994) 2.50 Hoppity Goes To Town (1941) 4.25 The Love Bug (1968) 6.40 Elizabethtown (2005) 9.00 Austin Powers In Goldmember (2001) 10.50 Saturday Night Fever (1977) 1.10am Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970)

6.40am Cold Turkey (1971) 9.00 Gypsy (1962) 12.00pm Chuck Jones: Memories Of Childhood 1.00 Arizona Whirlwind (1944) 3.00 Miracles (1985) 4.40 Gods And Generals (2003) 9.00 Mr Holland’s Opus (1995) 12.00am The Manchurian Candidate (1962) 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Arizona Whirlwind (1944)

8.40am The Two Ronnies 9.20 Only Fools And Horses (x 14) 8.00 FILM: Hitch (2005) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 The Comic Strip Presents... 12.00am The Two Ronnies 1.10 The New Statesman 1.40 Absolutely Fabulous 2.30 The Comic Strip Presents... 3.00 Home Shopping

6.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans Live From The West End 10.30 Grumpy Old Men 11.10 The World Stands Up With Stephen K Amos 11.40 Chris Rock: Bigger And Blacker 1.10am Two And A Half Men (x2) 2.10 South Park

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sunday 14 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.50pm Dance is the language of lurve, so it’s smoochie smoochie time as the entire programme is themed around Valentine’s Day with hearts and lovey-dovey things. Ahh. The night kicks off with Torvill and Dean delivering a special performance of ‘devotion’, and then the contestants skate for their survival. And flowers.

Top Gear BBC2, 7.30pm OK, so the Winter Olympics have started. As it’s all live there’s not much to write in a preview, but that hasn’t stopped the Top Gear boys from preparing for it in their own way. Yup, they’re attempting Olympic events – in cars. Watch a Mini attempt a ski jump, car ice hockey, and a Jag speed racer. Such fun.

Being Human BBC3, 9pm It’s all coming to a head in this supernatural drama. Last we saw, Mitchell was sobbing on his new girlfriend’s shoulder having fallen ‘off the wagon’. Wrong person to tell, lover boy. Will she stake him in his sleep? Or will she surprise him completely? Yes, please! Annie helps a fraudulent psychic and gets in contact with her mum.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 EastEnders 2.00 Six Nations Rugby: Italy V England 4.30 A Question Of Sport 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Boo! 6.45 Louie 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Basil Brush Show 8.05 Jinx 8.25 Leon Dani’s House 9.00 Tracy Beaker Returns 9.30 Spirit Warriors 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Gardener’s World 12.00pm 2010 Winter Olympics: Highlights 2.00 EastEnders Omnibus 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.30 FILM: Two Brothers (2004) 5.10 Natural World 6.10 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa Gus Casely-Hayford explores the precolonial history of some of Africa’s most important kingdoms. 7.00 Porridge Classic prison sitcom. Fletcher gets a permanent job with the pigs on the prison farm and dreams up a novel way to relieve the boredom of prison life. 7.30 Top Gear See highlights. 8.30 2010 Winter Olympics Coverage of the women’s super combined skiing event, featuring the downhill followed by the slalom, as the medals are decided. 1948 saw the last time a non-European was on the podium in this event, but Canada’s downhill specialist Emily Brydon could bring that run to an end. Commentators are Matt Chilton and Kerrin Lee-Gartner. There’s also the third and penultimate run of the men’s luge on the super-quick track at the Whistler Sliding Centre, with commentary from Paul Dickenson and Colin Bryce. 10.00 FILM: Apocalypto (2007) Starring Rudy Youngblood, Dalia Hernandez, Morris Birdyellowhead, Raoul Trujillo, Jonathan Brewer and Carlos Baez. Epic historical adventure tale set against the backdrop of a Mayan civilisation falling into a decline. The cause of much controversy for director Mel Gibson. 12.10am 2010 Winter Olympics 4.00 The Super League Show

6.00am GMTV 9.25 FA Cup Highlights 10.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.45pm ITV News & Weather 12.55 FA Cup Live 5.55 Meridian News And Weather

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The McCain Track And Field Show 7.20 Powers Of Three 8.00 The Best Of The NBA 8.45 The Hills 9.15 Valentine’s Day: T4 Movie Special 9.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.20pm Ultimate Traveller 1.25 Outside-In Festival 2.45 90210 3.40 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Glee

6.00am Super League 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 4.00 LIVE Spanish Football (x3) 10.00 Scottish Premier League 10.30 Premiership Rugby Union 11.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Premiership Rugby Union 3.00 Scottish Premier League 3.30 World Sport 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.05 ITV News; Weather 6.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Get ready for another rollicking ride through TV land, as our favourite big-collared telly guide takes us on a tour of the funniest clips he has spotted this week. Might seem a tad familiar to those who watched yesterday. 6.50 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.45 Wild At Heart Drama set on an African nature reserve. Danny’s attempts to help Alice settle into her new job at Mara backfire when a hyena goes on the rampage. With the life of an animal in the balance, Danny realises he must pull out all the stops if he is to salvage his relationship with Alice. 9.45 Dancing On Ice – The SkateOff Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby reveal the results of the public vote. 10.15 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Gordon Brown Piers Morgan talks exclusively to Prime Minister Gordon Brown in a one-hour studio interview as part of his Life Stories series. The programme features contributions from colleagues, friends and family as Piers tries to find out more. 11.15 ITV News; Weather 11.30 Guinness Premiership Rugby 12.30am UEFA Champions League 1.00 FILM: All That Heaven Allows (1955) 2.35 Dating The Enemy 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Bible: A History Historian and broadcaster Bettany Hughes presents the strong women figures of the Bible. The Bible could easily be dimissed as a manual for misogyny, but Hughes introduces a dazzling cast of female characters – warriors, adulterous wives, mothers and virtuous women. 8.00 FILM: X-Men (2000) Starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin. Adaptation of the long-running Marvel comic book series. As mutations in humans become more widespread, a US senator attempts to pass legislation that would effectively criminalise their existence. Two very different factions of mutants stand in his way. 10.00 Derren Brown: Evening Of Wonders A specially televised version of illusionist Derren Brown’s most recent live stage show. 11.35 FILM: The Talented Mr Ripley (1999) Starring Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Cate Blanchett, Philip Hoffman and Jack Davenport. Drama based on the novel by Patricia Highsmith. 2.05am My Boyfriend The MI5 Hoaxer 2.30 The Bypass 2.45 Afterworld 3.10 St Elsewhere 4.00 Hill Street Blues 4.50 Countdown 5.35 The Treacle People 5.45 Yo Gabba Gabba

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Hannah Montana 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Top Trumps: Warships 11.40 Ice Road Truckers 12.40pm FILM: Lost And Found (1979) 2.40 FILM: The Prince Of Tides (1991) 5.00 Five News 5.05 FILM: Mickey And The Seal (1948) 5.15 FILM: Mulan (1998) 6.55 FILM: 50 First Dates (2004) Starring Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider. Romantic comedy in which a playboy vet attempts to court a woman who suffers from a severe case of shortterm memory loss. The Casanova faces the challenge of wooing her again each day. Heavy hint for any wayward Valentine’s forgetful. 8.45 FILM: Click (2006) Starring Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, David Hasselhoff. Comedy about a workaholic father who finds that there are not enough hours in the day to balance his job and home life, until he discovers a remote control that can pause and rewind time. However, when it malfunctions, chaos ensues, and the man realises that he has lost control of his life. Could you see it coming? Complete surprise, right? 10.50 FILM: Reign Over Me (2007) Starring Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Liv Tyler, Jada Pinkett Smith and Saffron Burrows. Touching tale of friendship set in post-9/11 New York. Adam Sandler has taken over Five and won’t let the continuity announcer go until his entire back catalogue is shown. Maybe. Could happen. Hmm. 1.10am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury explore the area around Long Mynd in Shropshire. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team make insurers’ dream come true. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Daniel has opened a newspaper in Candleford and is on the look out for a big story. So when old Peg Leg, a Crimean War veteran, arrives and Daniel learns he has received no war pension, he starts a newspaper campaign against this injustice. 9.00 Seven Ages Of Britain This episode looks at the Tudors. With a steeley glare. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Great British Railway Journeys Chiefly they were on trains. 10.55 FILM: Rabbit-Proof Fence (2002) Starring Everlyn Sampi, Tianna Sansbury, Laura Monaghan. Australian drama set in the 1930s about three mixed-race girls who are torn brutally from their Aboriginal mother and sent 1,500 miles away to a training camp for domestic workers as part of a government policy. 12.25am The Sky At Night 12.45 Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Dear Diary 1.50 Holby City 2.50 Wonderland: The Trouble With Mother 3.30 History Of Now: The Story Of The Noughties 4.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 World Sport 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 LIVE Tennis 3.00 World Sport 3.30 IEX Magazine 4.00 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 6.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am World Sport 1.00 PGA Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 10.30 Super League 12.00pm Wild Spirits 12.30 IEX Magazine 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 Big Fight Special 8.00 Test Cricket 9.00 International Cricket 10.00 This Week In WWE 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am Test Cricket 1.30 International Cricket

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Futurama (x2) 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 Fat Families 4.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance 7.30 Pineapple Dance Studios 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 24 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Modern Family 11.30 Pineapple Dance Studios 12.00am Football’s Next Star

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Last Woman Standing 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy 11.10 American Dad! (x2) 11.50 Being Human 12.50am Vampires: Why They Bite 1.50 Harper’s Island 2.30 Coming Of Age 3.00 Last Woman Standing

7.00pm Getting Our Way 8.00 The Great Offices Of State 9.00 Indian Hill Railways 10.00 Latin Music USA 11.00 Mad Men 11.50 Kim Jong-Il’s Comedy Club: Storyville 12.50am Indian Hill Railways 1.50 The Great Offices Of State 2.50 Mad Men 3.35 Getting Our Way 5.30 Close

4.40pm Creature Comforts 4.50 Animals Do The Funniest Things 5.50 Dancing On Ice - The Skate Off 6.20 Dancing On Ice Friday 6.50 FILM: ScoobyDoo (2002) 8.35 Creature Comforts 8.45 The Vampire Diaries 9.45 What Katie Did Next 10.45 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 11.15 Dancing On Ice (x2) 1.40 Teleshopping

8.10am Heartbeat 9.15 Mr Bean (x2) 10.20am Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x4) 6.55 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x3) 1.00am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Front Seat 1.55 My Uncle Silas 2.20 On The Buses (x2) 3.10 On The Buses 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

11.50am Roswell (x2) 1.35 Reaper 2.25 FILM: The Core (2003) 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Being Erica 11.55 Samantha Who? (x2) 12.50 Gok’s Fashion Fix 12.55 Supernanny 2.45 Samantha Who? (x2) 3.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus

1.55pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 The TV Book Club 8.00 The View From River Cottage (x2) 9.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip 10.05 Kimberley: Young Mum Ten Years On 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.45 Curb Your Enthusiasm

12.00pm FILM: Nancy Drew (2007) 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy (x4) 6.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 7.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 8.00 Changing Faces 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Supernatural (x2) 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 New America’s Next Top Model 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm How It’s Made (x2) 4.00 Extreme Engineering: The Peruvian Tunnel And Dam 5.00 Storm Chasers 6.00 Swords: Life On The Line 7.00 How Do They Do It? 8.00 How It’s Made (x2) 9.00 I Was Bitten 10.00 Cosmic Collisions 11.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 12.00am American Chopper 1.00 Christianity: A History

1.30pm FILM: Ba’al: The Storm God (2008) 3.20 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 5.10 FILM: Robin Hood: Beyond Sherwood (2009) 7.00 A Town Called Eureka 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 FILM: Quantum Apocalypse (2010) 10.50 FILM: Submerged (2005) 12.40am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: One Last Fling (1995)

12.15pm Father Goose (1964) 2.15 The Halls Of Montezuma (1950) 4.15 Desk Set (1957) 6.00 Cleopatra (1963) 10.00 The St Valentine’s Day Massacre (1967) 11.45 Sweet Charity (1969) 12.00am Revenge Of Frankenstein (1958) 2.15 How The West Was Won (1962)

1.10pm The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 3.00 Joan Of Arc (1999) 5.40 The Movie Geek 6.10 Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983) 8.05 The Bank Job (2008) 10.00 Waltz With Bashir (2008) 11.35 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 1.15am Breaking The Waves (1996)

11.00am Castle Of Cagliostro (1979) 1.00pm Explorers (1985) 3.10 Brief Encounter (1945) 4.50 The Seven Year Itch (1955) 6.55 Autumn In New York (2000) 9.00 John Tucker Must Die (2006) 10.45 Lost Souls (2000) 12.35am The Conformist (1970) 2.55 Close

8.15am Gods And Generals (2003) 1.00pm Wuthering Heights (1939) 3.00 Made In Heaven (1987) 5.00 Tortilla Soup (2001) 7.00 Moonlight And Valentino (1995) 9.00 The French Lieutenant’s Woman (1981) 11.30 Mystic Pizza (1988) 1.40am Offset: Jamie Cullum 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Wuthering Heights (1939)

2.20pm Only Fools And Horses 3.30 The Vicar Of Dibley 4.10 As Time Goes By 4.50 My Family 5.30 FILM: Hitch (2005) 7.55 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.40 The Royle Family 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 Gimme Gimme Gimme 12.00am The Royle Family 12.40 Steptoe And Son

4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x6) 9.00 FILM: When Harry Met Sally (1989) 11.00 Rhod Gilbert At The Comedy Store 11.30 Shappi Khorsandi: Comedy Store Special 12.00am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.00 Everybody Hates Chris

Classics

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6:17 PM

Page 1

monday 15 Nurse Jackie BBC2, 10pm It’s not a good week for our favourite New York nurse as her fancy man Eddie finally gets the boot from his pharmacy, cutting off her pill-popping habit cold. Not only that but Eddie finally discovers that her home life is more than a mother and cats. Yup, husband and kids are out. Not a good time for cold turkey.

Film: Seven Five, 10pm It’s easy to forget just how good this is after the avalanche of gruesome horror films that it inspired, but such a stellar cast and biblical inspiration damning society for its sins cannot be ignored. Brad Pitt is the sparky young cop paired with veteran Morgan Freeman, investigating a rather creative serial killer.

Glee E4, 9pm The pithy youngsters carry on singing against adversity in this rather successful musical comedy series that’s taking iTunes by storm. The dastardly Sue uses her position as co-chair to try and break the club up by pitting them against each other in a tough competition. Divide and conquer – mwah ha ha ha!

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.35 Leon 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Local stuff. 8.00 EastEnders Bradley is terrified the police will discover his secret, while Shirley wonders if she can trust Phil. Bianca is excited with wedding preparations as some surprise guests arrive early, and will Ricky survive his stag do? Well, it’s unlikely to leave the Square so we’re thinking ‘yes’. 8.30 Panorama Another report from the weekly current affairs programme. Jeremy Vine presents. 9.00 Cars, Cops And Criminals Cops from different police forces come together in Warwickshire on the M6 for a massive crackdown on motorists who break the law by driving without licences and insurance. Narrated by Jamie Theakston. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Sue Johnston’s Shangri La Sue Johnston has a lovely time. 11.30 Late Kick Off Join Mark Chapman and guests as they follow the fortunes of the 12 Football League clubs in London and the South East. 12.00am FILM: American Cousins (2003) 1.30 Weatherview 1.35 Sign Zone: Delia Through The Decades 2.05 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 3.05 Survivors 4.05 BBC News

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.30 Dennis & Gnasher 8.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 9.00 Copycats 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.40 Angus And Cheryl 9.45 Prank Patrol 10.15 Doctor Who: Dreamland 11.00 Animal Park - Wild On The West Coast 12.00pm Castle In The Country 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.45 2010 Winter Olympics: Highlights 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Instant Restaurant 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce introduces some more memorable moments from three decades of the Antiques Roadshow. Specialist Judith Miller relives her antiques-mad youth in Edinburgh and Hilary Kay takes to the dance floor with a very ‘rock ‘n’ roll’ Roadshow visitor. Anyone else have an ‘antiques-mad’ youth? Very special people here. 7.00 Seven Ages Of Britain David Dimbleby tells the story of Britain through its art and treasure. A repeat of the Tudor times, as shown over the weekend. Show-off Tudors. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions as two teams of students battle it out. This is what we pay our taxes for them to do. Humph. 8.30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets Are they hidden under the cooker floorboards? Give us a clue. 9.00 Generation Jihad Peter Taylor investigates the terrorist threat from young Muslim extremists radicalised on the internet. 10.00 Nurse Jackie See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. Can you guess what they’ll be talking about yet? 11.20 2010 Winter Olympics

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 What’s In A Word? 12.20 Cooking It 12.50 FILM: Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 2.25 Glamour Puds 2.55 The TV Book Club 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Josh and Darren are finding it difficult to adjust to life without Hannah, but Rhys is determined to move forward. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Dispatches Flagship current affairs programme covering groundbreaking reports that often set the news agenda. 9.00 Tower Block Of Commons Four-part series which follows a group of MPs as they spend eight days and nights living in council estate tower blocks. On a raciallydivided South Acton estate, Nadine Dorries tries to create harmony between residents and worshippers at a local mosque. Meanwhile, Mark Oaten gets caught up when police vans swoop on the Goresbrook estate. Troublemaker. 10.00 The Good Wife Legal drama series about a woman who returns to her job as a defence attorney. Alicia finds evidence of possible wrongdoing on the jury’s part in a case against a major pharmaceutical company. 10.55 FILM: Elektra (2005) Starring Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic, Kirsten Prout, Terence Stamp and Will Lee. Martial arts action drama. 12.45am FILM: Clay Pigeons (1998) 2.40 Volvo Ocean Race 5.25 St Elsewhere

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Wild Animal ER 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Earthstorm (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Are Nicole and Aden moving too fast? Well, if they will court on a speedboat... 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn finds out how wheat is harvested; visits the cleanest place in Britain; and learns how the world’s toughest crash helmets are made. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show presented by Jason Bradbury, Suzi Perry, Jon Bentley and Ortis Deley. Pick out your next birthday present from this little lot. 9.00 Paul Merton In Europe Paul travels to Spain, where he encounters a former monk who has spent the last half-century building a gigantic church single-handedly. At a bullfight, he witness a spectacular display of acrobatics that leaves the animal in one piece, before crossing paths with a fearless adrenaline junkie. Elsewhere, Paul takes part in a gigantic human tower, learns about the legacy of the Civil War and tries his hand at flamenco. 10.00 FILM: Seven (1995) See highlights. 12.30am Urban Legends 1.00 SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.05 The Family Recipe 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.00 Scottish Premier League 11.30 Premiership Rugby Union 12.30pm Super League 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 Scottish Premier League 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Football League 1.30 Netbusters 2.00 SPL Round-Up 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.25 Netbusters 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The Bartons realise the cause of the poisoning could be very close to home. 7.30 Coronation Street Can Gail cope with Joe’s absence without arousing suspicion? 8.00 The Lakes The Great North Swim which is one of Britain’s biggest open water swimming events looks to be in trouble as thick early morning fog descends on the Lake District. Lost in water fog? Obviously too much cheese before bed. Horrid. 8.30 Coronation Street A pregnant Becky takes advantage of Steve at every opportunity. Not so much news as a confirmation of character. 9.00 Law & Order: UK DS Ronnie Brooks agrees to help his old friend and partner DS Jimmy Valentine in an undercover drugs sting, but tragedy strikes when an innocent bystander is shot dead. As both IA and the CPS investigate the shooting, they turn their spotlight on Brooks. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 BRITs Hits 30 A celebration of 30 years of the BRIT Awards. 11.35 FILM: Crossroads (2002) Starring Britney Spears. The story of three childhood best friends who take a road trip from Georgia to California. 1.15am Loose Women 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Spanish Football 11.00 Tennis 1.00pm Friday Fight Night 3.00 Big Fight Special 6.00 Test Cricket 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 9.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 PGA Tour Classic 11.30 Boots ‘n’ All - The Tries 12.30am European Tour Golf 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 2.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 4.00 PGA Tour Classic 5.00 Boots ‘n’ All - The Tries

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 12.30pm European Tour Golf 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 The Super 14 Show 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 IRB Sevens 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.30pm The Real A & E 4.30 Pineapple Dance Studios 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your TenYear-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 How To Get What You Want 10.00 House 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle Undercover 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 LIVE: Winter Olympics: Men’s Snowboard Cross Finals 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Being Human 1.15 Gavin And Stacey

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Syrian School 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Getting Our Way 10.00 The Most Dangerous Man In America: Storyville 11.30 How Vietnam Was Lost: Storyville 12.50am Only Connect 1.20 Getting Our Way 2.20 The Most Dangerous Man In America: Storyville

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 American Idol: Hollywood 1 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.30 FILM: Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998) 12.40am Coronation Street

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.00 The Bill: Keep Her Talking 12.00am The Fixer

2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glee. See highlights. 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 King Of The Hill 11.00 Skins 12.05am FILM: Save The Last Dance (2001)

4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 The Secret Millionaire 11.10 Brothers And Sisters 12.05am Relocation, Relocation

2.00pm Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Britain’s Worst Neighbour 9.00 New America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Changing Faces 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Boston Legal

G.O.L.D

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm Christianity: A History 2.00 Killer Tanks 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Storm Chasers (x2) 10.00 American Chopper 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 1.00 Hitler A Profile

3.00pm FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 FILM: Submerged (2005) 10.50 Legend Of The Seeker 11.50 FILM: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) 1.40am Legend Of The Seeker

1.55pm Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 3.45 The Far Country (1955) 5.40 Dante’s Inferno (1935) 7.20 The Virgin Queen (1955) 9.00 Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 10.50 The Far Country (1955) 12.40am Revenge Of Frankenstein (1958) 2.20 Notorious (1946) 4.10 Houseboat (1958)

9.00am Once (2006) 10.30 The Escapist (2008) 12.05pm Out Of Sight (1998) 2.10 Three Kings (1999) 4.15 Once (2006) 5.45 The Kite Runner (2007) 8.00 War, Inc (2008) 10.00 Priceless (2006) 11.50 Out Of Sight (1998) 1.55am Three Kings (1999) 3.55 The Escapist (2008)

11.00am Whisper Of The Heart (1995) 1.15pm The Maverick Queen (1956) 3.00 Gulliver’s Travels (1939) 4.35 Young At Heart (1954) 6.50 Romancing The Stone (1984) 9.00 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) 11.05 Mona Lisa (1986) 1.10am Alien Nation (1988)

7.00am Made In Heaven (1987) 9.00 Tortilla Soup (2001) 11.00 Moonlight And Valentino (1995) 1.05pm Soldier In The Rain (1963) 3.00 Garbo Talks (1984) 5.00 The Voyage (1973) 6.55 The Angel Levine (1970) 9.00 Apocalypse Now (1979) 12.00am The Trials Of Oscar Wilde (1960)

12.40pm Waiting For God (x2) 2.00 The Brittas Empire (x2) 3.20 As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 The Good Life (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 The Green Green Grass (x2) 8.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Fawlty Towers 10.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.20 The Omid Djalili Show 12.00am Early Doors

4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Dara O Briain Live At The Theatre Royal 11.20 Sex And The City (x2) 12.30am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.30 South Park

Classics

Indie


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