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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
NICK BROOMFIELD Calling the shots p13
16 – 22 February 2010
FREE WEEKLY
BAR IN A BOX The cocktail master who does home visits
Art Bus rolls up for Brighton Festival Fringe 2010 as sales launch early page 15
BREAKING THE CODE Maths genius and gay martyr Alan Turing
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UNSIGNED BAND REVIEW How to get noticed in the music business
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002_LS462_Dymanic Yoga
2/10/10
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NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR
www.dynamicyoga.tv The studio incorporates a fantastic new ‘state of the art’ fresh oxygenated heating ventilation system.
Class duration: 90 minutes
Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”
7 Video testimonals on the website.
003_LS462 contents
2/12/10
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS Pic: Mike Burnell
04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Brighton Tattoo Convention and apprenticeships launch 5 City Speak Will on relationship karma; plus Tash is allergic to relaxation and Andrea celebrates her 25th birthday 7 City Speak continued... Life begins at 70 with guest columnist Ruby Grimshaw 7 Competitions Win a ’70s nostalgia fest, Cath Kidston books and DVDs 8 News White paper to cut police red tape and scientists study forgetful snails; plus Councillor Mary Mears on taxes 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Musicians! Earn yourself a free industry review... 9 Bookings The Sound Of Music, Al Murray, Shakespears Sister 10 Snap Shots Elvis impersonator Jim Devereaux 11 Celebcity Preston’s tattoo talk, Peter Andre’s interview from hell and Heather Mills’ new reality TV scheme 12 Bare Cheek Brighton bus names explained 12 Astral Angi Take stock of your romantic links with the stars
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L7 Don’t miss...
13 L7 INTERVIEW Legendary documentary filmmaker Nick Broomfield on Michael Moore, his search for a protegé, and the film he’s always wanted to make about Sussex farmers
15 LIFESTYLE 15 Brighton Festival Fringe 2010 As booking launches early, sneak a peek at the arts programme to end all arts programmes! 17 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Cocktail masterclasses in your own home 18 Hotlist Everything from French bistros to good ol’ fish ‘n’ chips 19 Brighton Science Festival Big name speakers and Big Science Saturday 19 Health Let’s talk about sex, safe sex
21 WHAT’S ON 21 Stage Hugh Whitemore’s Breaking The Code at the NVT 22 Music & Club Get yourself heard with Unsigned Band Review 24 Art & Events Get up to speed for The Brighton Half Marathon 25 Film What’s screening at your local cinema 26 Gay & Comedy Julie Jepson unleashes her inner badger 27 Reviews Massive Attack, JLS, Mariza, Adam Green, Jesca Hoop 28 Sport Marathon Mary on the dangers of running with a cold 28 Telly Talk & TV EastEnders LIVE!; seven-day TV listings guide COVER PICTURE: ALUN CALLENDER
SEE: The Brighton Documentary Film Festival Friday 19–Sunday 21 February Various Brighton venues Louis Theroux, Dom Joly and Nick Broomfield (see this week’s L7 Interview) are just some of the major filmmakers speaking across this weekend of screenings and seminars celebrating the art of the documentary.
Latest on You can now follow Latest 7 and Latest Homes on Twitter. Sign up to your favourite sections and columnists to keep up to date with local entertainments stories, restaurant openings, health and beauty offers, celebrity gossip, property news and more. www.thelatest.co.uk/7/twitter
Two weeks ago Steven Brett gave us his first interview in his new role as Artistic Director of Brighton’s Nightingale Theatre. At the time he was just finalising his May programme, but we could tell he had something truly spectacular up his sleeve. Well, here it is. Just as we were about to go to press with this Brighton Festival Fringe 2010 issue, he announced that a visit from the Cholmondeleys and Featherstonehaughs will form part of his May programme. The Nightingale is a 50-seat theatre above the Grand Central pub. Lea Anderson’s quirky and stylish Cholmondeleys and Featherstonehaughs are one of the biggest deals in contemporary dance. It’s what Fringe dreams are made of (even if you can’t actually pronounce them). The run up to May will be full of such news, and chances are you’ll start to feel a bit overwhelmed. So get planning now with a sneak peek at the programme in this week’s cover feature – this year, Friends of Brighton Festival Fringe can buy tickets from the online box office a whole month earlier than before. Not that there aren’t plenty of exciting events to be getting on with in the meantime... This week sees the return of SEE: The Brighton Documentary Film Festival, and to celebrate we have an interview with the mighty Nick Broomfield (Biggie And Tupac, Kurt And Courtney, Ghosts), a local patron of the festival. Read about his interest in Sussex farmers – and find out which local society made him dress up as a swan – in this week’s L7 Interview. Elsewhere 70-year-old guest columnist Ruby Grimshaw returns by popular demand, and Andrew Kay encounters a travelling cocktail instructor. Heather Mills’ VBites column is itself on ice while she takes a post-skate off break.
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
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Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
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Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
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004_LS462_Social Diary
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SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps a tattoo convention and the launch of the city’s Apprenticeship Strategy
Ricki
No sorcery but plenty of skills The launch of the city's Apprenticeship Strategy took place at Brighton Dome in an informal setting last month, with apprentices working their magic in live demonstrations. With the government now offering cash incentives to take on apprentices, members of the local business community were eager to see what an apprentice might have to offer. For more information on the national scheme visit www.apprenticeships.org.uk
Mary Evans (Leader Steering Group BHCC) Claire Mitchell (Chair of Leader)
Pat Mernagh (Animal), Tony Mernagh (BHEP)
Tanya Bratz
Matt Dorn (BHTA – Brighton & Hove Training Association), Josh James (Brighton & Hove Albion, Wayne Potbury (Brighton & Hove Albion), Scott Harding (BHTA)
Spikey Bob
Martin Webb, Joe Davenport (City Employment Manager), Scott Marshall (BHCC), Cllr Ted Kemble
Tat’s Amore! Brighton Racecourse was literally buzzing with more than 175 tattoo artists from all over the world for the third annual Brighton Tattoo Convention. From the artists’ point of view, this was a great opportunity for them to display their creative flair and attract new customers. This year, the competitions were hosted and run by Total Tattoo Magazine, with musical entertainment provided by The Boners.
Dympna Haywood (Domestic & General), Martin Webb, Marina Kvlikova (Domestic & General)
005_LS462_Cityspeak
2/12/10
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CITY SPEAK 05
The Early Bird
Teen Spirit
Andrea Fox reckons boring is the new interesting
Tasha Dhanraj works hard, plays harder
I
‘A
can’t work out if I’m getting old, friends from far flung counties to or if I’m getting boring. I don’t visit. And yet they still came. mean that being old is boring, Perhaps I’m not the only one who but it seems over the past few feels like this? years my idea of fun has changed, Soon a friend is celebrating her and I’m not sure I’m happy about it. birthday with her own pub quiz. As I write, it is my 25th birthday. Next month I’m going to a birthday The delights this day has brought bingo night. I couldn’t be happier! Is me include a hellish hangover from the recession to blame? Am I just yesterday’s “chilled” evening that more boring these days? As we get ended at 6am, and a mad panic to older, is this just what happens? finish my tax return and pay the The government are trying to bill. Poor Moira Stuart. She has not curb the UK’s heavy boozing ways. deserved the harsh words I One idea is to outlaw clubs where unleashed at her when her you get free booze for your entry sobering little face popped up in fee. Sorry to go all Mary the self-assessment adverts. Whitehouse, but don’t they sound I’m not sure like hell? when it happened Positively boring. but for me staying I have stuff to “Past birthdays in really is do, places to go, becoming the new I can’t be have been similar to and going out. Past bothered to give birthdays have week-long religious the hangover been similar to gods any more of week-long religious occasions” my precious time. occasions. The Maybe in age we year-on-year don’t get boring, formula was that I would get over just bored. Maybe that’s why I excited and plan many ‘birthday’ fancy a change. events in order to get to party with Oh, and in case you’re absolutely everyone I could, interested, I got some gorgeous celebrating my birthday week with high-heeled shoes, a kids board a string of pubs and clubs over a game that involves balancing series of days. penguins on a wobbly iceberg and This year I couldn’t be bothered some cheese. I feel like the luckiest to have a birthday resembling a girl alive. typical Fresher’s week. All I really wanted this year was to go for a Listen to The Guy & Andrea Sunday roast in my local pub. In Breakfast Show on Brighton’s the past I’d have been worried this Juice 107.2 every Monday to wasn’t enough of an event for Friday from 7am
ll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’. How does anyone know that? If Jack is always working then the chances are you don’t have to see him much anyway, so his state of being shouldn’t really affect you. I don’t know how Jack feels about this, but he’s probably too engrossed in his work to realise he has no friends. Of course, the flip side is ‘All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.’ Lots of people take that approach and definitely have more fun, more friends and a minimal future. I’ve always been paranoid about turning into Jack. I balance an equal amount of working hard with playing hard, resulting in very little time to sleep, relax or think about Noel Fielding. I can last for about two weeks of going out every night to gigs, various parties or seeing friends before exhaustion creeps up. I usually know that I’m entering the danger zone when I start complaining about how much fun I’m having. This is followed by uncontrollable yawning, growing irritable and then the finale of becoming ill. Illness is the true horror of burning myself out as I’m therefore forced to halt my oh-sobusy social life. Suddenly, nights out on the town with friends are replaced by nights in, living my social life through watching Friends. Being ill isn’t ideal, but the alternative is scheduled relaxation. Me-time is overrated.
The last time I had a ‘relaxing’ bubble bath, I had an allergic reaction to the bubbles and had to jump out of the bath immediately to save my skin. I translate that as my body telling me that relaxation isn’t my thing.
“The last time I had a ‘relaxing’ bubble bath I had an allergic reaction to the bubbles” People generally suggest that I slow down by possibly, considering, maybe not going out every night. What a preposterous idea! That would involve sacrificing an aspect of my brilliantly crafted week. My main issue is that I adore everything I do. I’ve already given up anything I didn’t take pleasure in which is why I’ll never be a concert pianist or the manager of a charity shop. I’d rather burn myself out than lose something I love for the sake of my sanity. It’s better to do everything I can and to enjoy it all, rather than swapping the best parts of life for relaxation. Whilst I can cope, I will cope. When I start getting ill or when college work gets behind, then I might reconsider. But until then why risk becoming Jack?
Do you prefer a night in to a night on the tiles, or is relaxation overrated? comment@thelatest.co.uk
William Tells Will Harris says what goes around comes around
F
or my best friend H, last year was a particularly bad vintage. First she went through a break up, then a redundancy process, then a cancer scare, then her nan died, and then, at her nan’s funeral, her entire family contracted a virulent strain of food poisoning and half of them had to be hospitalised. Even when the universe was roundly kicking H’s ass, her (newly) ex-girlfriend Herman Munster was, if anything, compounding the misery. Not content with running off with one of their mutual friends (a girl who H has since given the official name The Wall Of Hair Who Ruined My Life), Herman then seemingly forgot her break up promise to “be a good and supportive friend”, ignored H’s calls and texts for six months, then sent her a poison pen letter. Anyway, the reason I’m dredging all this up is that last week H was restocking a Valentine’s display in the bookshop where she works, when who should come sidling up but Herman Munster herself. (H had already heard on the lesbian jungle drums that Herman had been given the boot by The Wall Of Hair the week before. “Just be ready,” I’d warned her, before repeating one of our many shared mantras: “They all come crawling back.”) Herman had come, she claimed, to buy a book. A book called Taming The Black Dog. Did H have it? Did she know what it was about? It was a book, Herman said (without waiting for an answer), about dealing with depression. She was depressed. She’d been through a break up, she was about to go through a redundancy process, and her granddad had died. And did H want to go for a drink sometime? Hmm.
In Eastern philosophies, they’re big on the notion of karma. Whatever you put out into the world, they say, whether it be a kind word or a dirty look, will some day find its way back to you. But while it may be comforting to believe in cosmic justice, I’ve seen too many bad things happen to good people to be convinced. What, then, if karma isn’t some abstract force, but something we carry with us? What if every time Herman did something cruel or thoughtless, some small part of “‘Just be ready,’ I’d her was watching quietly, filing it warned her, repeating away for when the tables inevitably turned and it could wave one of our shared it in front of her face, shouting: “See! You brought this upon mantras: ‘they all come yourself!” Perhaps it wasn’t the universe that got her in the end, crawling back’” but good old-fashioned guilt. H, to her credit, rose to the occasion in magnificent fashion. She fetched Herman the book, declined the drink, and calmly rang her sale through the till. She even stayed cool enough to ask if she had a loyalty card. Placing the emphasis on the loyalty of course.
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000_LS462_Performance_Foods_FP
10/2/10
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FREE FRIENDLY ONE TO ONE EXPERT ADVICE SUPPLEMENT AND NUTRITION PLANS FOR CUSTOMERS CALL, EMAIL OR POP IN AND QUOTE LATEST 7
01273 733 453 – WWW.PERFORMANCEFOODSBRIGHTON.COM
PERFORMANCE FOODS, 177 CHURCH ROAD, HOVE BN3 2AB
007_LS462_Comps/column
2/12/10
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CITY SPEAK | COMPETITIONS
Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw does something amazing...
A
s I trotted along London Road last November to my blood donating appointment, I felt relieved that it would be my last one. The novelty value of free cups of tea and as many packets of oatmeal biscuits as one could stuff into one’s pocket had worn off, but, more importantly, my one good blood-letting vein was getting thickened and painful to pierce. I would be 70 by the time the next appointment was due, and donations would then stop. Sadly, I would not have completed 50 donations, and not be eligible to go up to London and be presented with a certificate and get my photograph in Vampire News. I was also going to miss that smug after-donation feeling of ‘having saved someone’s life’, but I felt I could cope with that. The receptionist at the Jury’s Inn hotel looked puzzled when I asked for directions to the blood-letting room, obviously thinking this old biddy had lost her way to the station. “I’ve got a lovely surprise for you!” announced the first Blood Lady. I felt excited. Was I the 100th person to give blood today? Was I going to be given a bottle of champagne? A bouquet?
“One normal encounter in the last six months in the missionary position with anyone under 80 would be a cause for celebration” “The rules have changed. You can go on donating!” She handed me my folder of questions and I tried to smile and join in with her happiness. I opened my folder. They insist that one reads these questions every time and I find them extremely depressing. They underline what a sheltered, quiet life I have now, eg: “Have I had any sexual relations in the last year with a man who has had sex with another man, or a person of the same sex who has had recent piercings, or sex with...” and so on. Be serious! One normal encounter in the last six months in the missionary position with
anyone under 80 would be a cause for celebration. While my blood was flowing out I estimated that, by the time I had completed my 50 donations, I would be 85 and zooming in on a rollator (a zimmer frame with wheels). By then, I would need my blood more than anyone else. Finally, another Blood Lady went through all the activities I must avoid after donating – karate, rock climbing, scuba diving and erecting
07
scaffolding (do they have evening classes in scaffolding?). I assured her that going upstairs to bed would be the pinnacle of my exercise that evening. At the bus stop I resisted the temptation to swing on the scaffolding outside a nearby shop, and fished out a packet of biscuits that I had pinched earlier. Smugly and unashamedly, I enjoyed the glowing feeling of having done my Good Deed.
COMPETITIONS SEVENTIES TV TREATS
AN ELEPHANT ADVENTURE
All aboard the nostalgia train for Look-Back On ’70s Telly as it chugs through ’70s favourites including Rainbow, Jamie And The Magic Torch and Black Beauty. Win a copy of Issue One and Issue Two on DVD Q What kind of animal was Skippy?
The Prince And Me 4: The Elephant Adventure (released 15 February, Icon Home Entertainment) follows Paige and Edvard’s exciting journey through Asia. Win it on DVD. Q In which country are Paige and Edvard travelling?
CATH KIDTSON BOOKS
THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE ON DVD
Vintage-inspired design guru Cath Kidston has created Make!, a book with over 30 projects and patterns, from stenciling to patchwork, to get your creative juices flowing. We have five copies to give away. Q British fashion designer; Vivienne who?
Now out on DVD, Robert Schwentke’s love story-with-a-difference is nothing to do with Dr Who’s missus. Henry (Eric Bana) and Clare (Rachel McAdams) have a relationship that transcends time and space, causing untold conflicts. Q What date is Mother’s Day this year?
WIN!
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,
EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk
with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 1 March.
008_LS462_newsphil/Council
2/11/10
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08 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
Police ‘handcuffed’ by red tape, scientists follow snail trail, and children’s festival does an Antony Gormley
S
ussex Police watchdogs have been penny pinching to keep services up to a reasonable standard but now it’s time for the Government to do more by releasing officers from the shackles of red tape and allowing them to use their judgement to deal with minor offences. The Sussex Police Authority have made £7 million savings and are keeping tax rises to a minimum. But all the time their officers are chained to desks, filling in mountains of forms. The Government's red-tape tsar has complained that officers dealing with minor incidents sometimes have to fill in 50 forms. Jan Berry, the Home Office's senior adviser on police reform, has warned the public does not want this level of bureaucracy and that officers should be allowed to use their common sense, to deal with such incidents on the spot with warnings and “advice”, using common sense. The Government has published a white paper on measures to help the police work smarter to fight crime, tackle anti-social behaviour and boost public confidence. What officers are crying out for are some of the measures Jan Berry has recommended such as giving officers discretion to deal with some crimes in the most
effective and proportionate way. As one Sussex officer told Latest 7: “We want the cuffs taken off our wrists so we can put them on offenders.” In other news, freezing weather conditions continued but there were some warmer prospects on the economic front. The UK’s top accountants will inject £400,000 into the local economy when the British Accounting Association brings its annual conference to the Hilton Metropole Hotel in April next year.
F
ebruary is budget setting time for the council and it is probably the most important meeting in our municipal calendar. Not only is it the culmination of many months of work, as we look in detail at each service to see how we could be delivering it more efficiently and effectively to the needs of residents; but it is also the meeting which ultimately determines the level of council tax that they will be paying for the next financial year. My Administration is proposing to increase council tax by 2.5 per cent next year which, if agreed by the Full Council, would represent the lowest increase in the history of the City Council.
Finally, while students at the University of Sussex continue their protest at redundancies and cuts, scientists at the University of Brighton reckon pond snails can teach us a thing or two about memory loss. Apparently, the snails have similarly-designed nervous systems and suffer from forgetting where they left their food, a bit like us humans sometimes do. One is left asking – do they sometimes swim into other pools and wonder what they went there for? How would you use your five minutes In The Frame?
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We have put forward over £12 million of efficiency savings to help achieve this on top of the £10 million we delivered in our first two years of Administration. But this is not all about making savings – we’ve also chosen to invest extra in some areas that we feel have been neglected over the years. So, for example, we shall be putting additional resources into youth services in the city, extra investment into the appearance of the western seafront and Hove Lagoon and funding for a new citywide Transport Model, which will enable us to plan, in a coherent fashion, improvements to the city’s transport infrastructure. If I’m being honest, this year’s budget has been the toughest one so far for us – the recession has hit hard, putting massive pressure on some of our services such as housing but also in terms of reduced income from things like planning applications. On top of that, central Government grant, which we rely on for over 60 per cent of our funding, increased by only £1.6m this year (out of a total budget of £750 million) – not enough even to cover our inflationary cost increases.
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Dear Latest 7, TAKEPART Brighton and Hove Festival of Sport is once again offering cash grants of up to £250 to take part in the festival. Up to £250 is on offer to groups of three people or more to do something inspired by the TAKEPART festival that celebrates active living. Activities must take place between 19 June and 4 July. Priority will be given to applications from groups based within Brighton and Hove’s priority areas. Unfortunately, applications will not be accepted from schools. Activities could include taster sessions in a new sport, organising a health walk or a group cycle ride, or hiring a bus to bring your group down to the big TAKEPART day in Preston Park on 19 June. The deadline for applications is 19 April. Download an application form at www.takepartbrightonandhove.co.uk Jo Wait, Event’s Coordinator, TAKEPART I couldn't agree more with Andrew's Kay Town column [Latest Homes 458] regarding the quality of current Hollywood offerings. We, and indeed, Europe and beyond, have wonderful cinematic traditions that are not governed by the bankability of stars to the extent that Hollywood films are. I think the last impressive USA film I saw was Shawshank Redemption and I think that that was an independent production. Valerie Griffiths 93 Albion Hill, Brighton [Re Columnist Idol: Ruby Grimshaw, L7 460] It made me laugh out loud and was a welcome relief from the usual Brighton anecdotes. How refreshing to have the voice of a 70 year old, even though I am 29 myself. Kate Marrilat, via email You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
latest7news
Budget proposals include new youth services provision linked to the Falmer Academy
However, our aim throughout the whole process has been threefold – to keep council tax low, to offer real ‘value for money’ for taxpayers, and to protect those core services that all the residents, businesses and visitors in this city rely upon. I would urge people to come along to the meeting on 25 February if you are able to – after all, this is your money that we are spending and we should, quite rightly, be held to account for that.
Pic: Southern News and Pictures
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on council tax increases
And there are around 20 other events in the conference diary between now and July 2012, all worth several million pounds to the local economy. Welcome bookings for an industry sailing in difficult waters. On a lighter note, Brighton and Hove Children’s Festival is looking for children aged five to 11 to take part in In The Frame, Brighton’s answer to Antony Gormley’s recent plinth project in Trafalgar Square. The festival wants 250 children to appear for five minutes in a giant golden picture frame in Jubilee Square throughout the festival. Participants can do or say what they like, including read poems, talk about ideas, sing or perform tricks. In The Frame will take place every day from 10am to 6pm during the festival, from 12 to 18 April, and children will be allotted five minute slots. Anyone wanting to take part should contact emily.atkinson@brighton-hove.gov.uk
009_LS462_Bookings/chart
2/12/10
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BOOKINGS | CHART 09
L7 Bookings
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week…
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest 1 Mr Resonate – The road to 2012 Vol. 5 2 No Sharp Objects – Home 3 NDE – I got a feeling (B.E.P) 4 tenek – Submission 5 jaybee – The Wild Wild East 6 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind of Love 7 Chaos Borne – I Will 8 Panos Christofi – In My Mind 9 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Tuesday 10 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know
THE SOUND OF MUSIC
AL MURRAY: THE PUB LANDLORD
Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, 1-19 June, £16-£39.50, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Connie Fisher, who won the BBC show How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? and subsequently played the role at the London Palladium for 15 months, reprises her acclaimed performance in the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical.
Komedia, 24 May, 8pm, £10, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk Work in progress from the both super intelligent and super populist comic and his finally honed creation.
SHAKESPEARS SISTER Concorde 2, 25 April, £14, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Bananarama’s Siobhan Fahey returns with new material after 13 years having formerly ignored her own advice to Stay. Nineties synth pop perfection (although that spelling still doesn’t look right).
FEMI KUTI De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-on-Sea, 2 May, £18, 01424 229111, www.dlwp.com The son of Afrobeat originator Fela plays with his 17-piece band, The Positive Force, with a fast and furious take on Nigerian traditions, funk and hip hop.
MARI WILSON’S THREESOME Komedia, 18 April, £15-£25.50 (meal deal), 7.30pm, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk The outraegous beehive may have gone but ‘The Neasden Queen of Soul’ has released three critically acclaimed albums since 2006 and here plays in an intimate trio with pianist Adrian York and guitarist Matt Backer.
MARCUS BRIGSTOCKE AND FRIENDS Theatre Royal, 27 Feb, £23, 08448 717 650, www.ambassadortickets.com The comedian and radio satirist is joined by Alistair McGowan, Russell Howard, Mark Steel, Robin Ince, Stephen Grant and singer-songwriter Chris TT for an evening of politicised mirth raising funds for the Green Party.
LEVI ROOTS Concorde 2, March 11, Levi Roots, £14, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk The singer and sometime pal of Bob Marley – now better known as that guy who pitched a BBQ sauce called Reggae Reggae on Dragon’s Den – plays a gig with a likely barbecue element.
SAM AMIDON + BEN FROST + NICO MUHLY + VALGEIR SIGURDSSON St George’s Church, 23 April, £tbc, www.myspace.com/bedroomcommunity Iceland’s Bedroom Community embark on their Whale Watching Tour, promising singular soundscapes and experimental beauty. Former Bjork producer Sigurdsson is a good mark of the calibre here.
Dark dance pair NDE have had a short reign at the top of the charts, moving from number one last week down to three this week, with their intriguing Black Eyed Peas cover ‘I Got A Feeling’. Shunting them aside, we have a blast of political rap from Mr Resonate in the top spot with ‘The Road To 2012 Vol 5’, while moody classic rockers No Sharp Objects are at two with ‘Home’. Meanwhile, last week’s number two, DJ Tenek’s catchy electro-pop number ‘Submission’, slides to four and singer-songwriter Jaybee slides down to five.
CALLING ALL UNSIGNED MUSICIANS! WIN YOURSELF A FREE INDUSTRY REVIEW WITH LATEST 7 Latest 7 has hooked up with Unsigned Band Review (UBR) to offer users of the Latest Brighton Download Chart a fantastic opportunity. UBR (www.unsignedbandreview.com) is a site that bridges the gap between musicians and the music industry. Read all about in this week’s Music section (p 23). Up until March, the Number One artist each week on the Latest Brighton Download Chart will receive a free industry review from one of UBR’s panel of professionals, including reps from NME and Warner. Oh, and the guy who signed Duffy. Also up for grabs are free single release packages with Zimbalam. All you need to do is continue to submit your music to this chart, and sign up FREE to Unsigned Band Review (www.unsignedbandreview.com). On 11 March, UBR are holding a showcase gig at the Prince Albert, and the lineup will include brilliant covers band Portslade – the most downloaded act in our chart’s history.
VIEW THE FULL CHART, LISTEN TO TRACKS AND SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC OR VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
010_LS462_Snap Shots
2/11/10
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10 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Elvis impersonator Jim Devereaux
“
My dream has always been to perform on the West Pier so I’m looking forward to the completion of the i360, which is aimed at raising the funds to restore the West Pier to its original glory – complete with heritage performance variety shows. Elvis impersonating is very important to me. I buy my clothes in the USA from a company which originally made Elvis's own suits
”
Elvis impersonator Jim Devereaux at the West Pier – he is a member of the Trust dedicated to its preservation. Acknowledged as one of the best Elvises around, Jim performs worldwide, but begins a new bi-monthly hometown show at Latest Musicbar on 26 March.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk manchester street, brighton
tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
011_LS462_celebcity
2/11/10
3:11 PM
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CELEBCITY 11
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks
POOR PETE You had to feel sorry for Peter Andre last week. If you didn't see the Kay Burley from Sky News interview with the Withdean-based popster, you can be sure somebody emailed you the clip on YouTube. Peter was subjected to an onslaught of hard-line questioning that only a politician could usually expect. Peter held up quite well until heavyweight journo Kay piled in with a question about Alex Reid requesting to adopt his kids. Peter broke down and stopped the interview – even though Kay tried to claw it back by asking him about his forthcoming tour, it was truly all over. PS, newly married Jordan and Alex Reid are now known as Jordex – please adjust your Twitter accounts!
Preston bares all, Peter Andre gets a grilling and Heather Mills plans reality show about disability
A tat less Ordinary O
HEATHER IN NEW REALITY SHOW TALKS Latest 7 columnist Heather Mills skated out of Dancing On Ice last Sunday, as she lost out in the all important skate off to Kieran Richardson (the skinny bloke from Hollyoaks). But this early exit has certainly not put Heather off taking part in any other TV show. Hove based Heather, 42, is apparently now in talks with TV execs about a new reality programme where celebs experience real life living with people with a disability for one week. “It will challenge people's perception of disability”, said Heather last week. “If you think, ‘Oh well, it's not that difficult living with one leg, or living in a wheelchair, or being partially sighted, or Soap star and Meeting Joe deaf, dumb or blind..." Strummer actor Steve North rushing onto the Brighton to She added, “We might blindfold Gordon Ramsay and put him London train after in a kitchen and see if he can cook for the restaurant and live rehearsing for his like that for a week.” Can you image the expletives from Gordon! www.savageskin.co.uk / www.skindeep.co.uk
ne of this column’s fave celebrities, ex-Ordinary Boys frontman and Celebrity Big Brother contestant Preston, has bared all for a tattoo magazine! In a recent interview with the UK's biggest selling body art mag, Skin Deep, Preston admitted that he actually dreaded the process of being tattooed. “I actually hate it, I'm the only person I know who actually says ‘Ow’ during the process. Most people just grit their teeth, but I'm just ‘Ow, Ow, Ow’!” The singer, who’s lately been honing his DJ skills and busying himself on the songwriting front, continued, “There are some tattoos that have strong inspirations but there are other times when I just want to get tattooed and have to think of something to get. “Some of the stuff I have was done when I was abroad, sometimes it can be quite spontaneous. I've got Bad Brains lyrics and Morrissey Lyrics but at the moment I'm trying to fill awkward gaps. I'd like to get some Japanese stuff, but not the obvious stuff, I want something a bit alternative.” OK Preston, so that sounds like a challenge – what tattoos should he put in to fill his ‘awkward gaps’, readers? Answers on a postcard please!
SPOTTED!
new play.
What tattoo should Preston get next? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
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10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday, until 31 March, excluding Valentine’s Day. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
012_LS462_cheeky/stars
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ONLY JOKING!
12
2/12/10
In & Out
Bare cheek
SPECIAL FICTIONAL PLACE NAMES EDITION
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Brighton bus names explained We explain what connections to Brighton those names emblazoned on the front of local buses have...
CLARA SCHUMANN (No. 44) – the legendary pianist and widow of manic-depressive composer Robert was offered a support slot in a tour of British summer resorts (taking in Eastbourne and Brighton), headlined by Jeff Beck. KAREN BLACK (No. 6B) – a look-a-like of the Five Easy Pieces star, wearing a replica of her Airport 75 stewardess' uniform, cut the tape for the opening of the old Tesco at Churchill Square. BRIAN JACKS (No. 55) – appeared as the genie in Aladdin at the Theatre Royal in 1978. THE MAN FROM ATLANTIS (No. 89) – was hauled aboard a skip off the shores of Newhaven, then thrown back as small fry (although this story is now thought apocryphal).
MUSTAPHA MILLION (No. 101) – in one episode of the Cheeky cartoon strip, everyone's favourite oil-rich racial stereotype bought Brighton Pier as a gift to cheer up a friend who had lost all his pocket money at a “Penny Falls”. I. P. FREELY (No. 69A) – the amusingly-appellated, entirely fictional figure, whom the fates have not seen fit to award a personality or distinguishing characteristics of any kind, and whose sole purpose is to educe titters from the puerile, was once given as an alias by a drunk philanderer at The Royal Albion Hotel late one Friday night. HAMBURGLAR (No. 222) – Independent councillor for Hangleton and Knoll, 1966-1974.
WHAT’S NOT ON: STAGE DEAD SMILE OR Rising star of the Royal Court, 22-year-old Londoner Poppy Stebbins’ acclaimed play about a posh girl who writes a play and is celebrated as being the next big thing, despite having very little talent. Theatre Royal, 14-21 February, 8pm, £15/12 DYNEGY Rising star of the National Theatre, 23-year-old Lucy Popple's acclaimed play about a posh girl who writes a play about the financial crash and is celebrated as being a genius, despite having even less talent. Theatre Royal, 21-26 February, 8pm, £15/12 BITTER LEAF Rising star of the Young Vic, 19-year-old Oba Adebanke’s acclaimed play about a Nigerian girl who writes a play about the experience of being black in London and is celebrated as being a genius by a media keen to show off its egalitarian credentials. Theatre Royal, 26-29 February, 8pm, £15/12 SOUR GRAPES Two middle-aged failures pour scorn on those younger and more successful than them. Upstairs At The Three And Ten, 16 February, 8pm. £4/2.50
• The Five Towns (Turnhill, Bursley, Handbridge, Knype, Longshaw) • Amity Island • Erinsborough • Warmington-on-Sea • Potterville
Out • Bedford Falls • Much-Binding-In-The-Marsh • Mega-City One • Wheelie Town • Cool World
LEONARD NIMOY (No. 13A) – a tapestry depicting Spock, painstakingly woven over several months by a pensioner in Peacehaven for her Trekkie grandson, was recently sold at BHASVIC car boot for £3.
In
What we used to say An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Wake-up call” Unbelievably ridiculous, inane, totally un-British phrase to indicate an aide-memoire. “The fact that we've totally run out of biscuits should be a wake up call to those who take more than their fair share without ever buying any.”
CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST.
WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Reminder”
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
Aquarians, feel the love...
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
After the rigors of Valentine’s weekend Ariens must take a rest. Now is the time to take stock of all your romantic links and put your affairs in order. Taureans, expectations of you have been high, and most of you will have delivered. But those of you who feel you did not – take heart. There is always room for the softer touch. Geminis may need to be penning a few letters this week, some of them apologies. I too must apologise for egging you on. If you did get in trouble then blame me.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Can Cancer now crawl back in its shell for another year? No way José! You are on a roll – not a potted crab roll, but a roll in the hay, a rock ‘n’ roll, a roll over Beethoven. Go for it. Leos who found love last week will be lying back, purring with delight and licking their paws. Those of you who did not should give your whiskers a twist and get back out there. The excellence of my advice to Virgos to lie about their star sign has resulted in a request that I no longer predict for this now defunct star sign. Are there any Virgos left?
Librans, sit back and relax a while. My research tells me this week will be much like last week and next week will be much the same too. If you seek changes then make your own. Scorpios offended by my declaration that they are unloved have written in protest. I heartily apologise and now recognise that Scorpios are loved; by themselves and other Scorpios. Sagis with weak chests could be suffering from respiratory complaints after last week’s kiss-blowing extravaganza. Stop blowing now and try sucking a Fisherman’s Friend.
Capricorns are advised to keep their friends as close as possible and their enemas closer. At least I think that is what the stars are saying, it was a bit cloudy when I did this one. Aquarius, Aquarius, Aquarius – when will you learn? We all love you, what’s not to love? Right now your sign is riding high. Enjoy it while you can and share the love around. Pisceans may well be sick of recommendations to eat fish but, let’s face it, you need all the brain food you can get. So off to Bardsley’s now, and no more arguing.
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2/12/10
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L7 INTERVIEW 13 Have you ever wanted to make a film locally? I have from time to time thought about making a film about what’s happening to Sussex’s farmers. In fact, a very good friend of mine, Molly Dineen, made a very good film called Lie Of The Land about the state of the countryside. But a lot of my friends are farmers, so perhaps it would be best to keep them on side and stay away from the subject. What made you want to get involved with Brighton’s SEE Documentary Film Festival? Part of the reason for living somewhere is that you get to help out with the local events. I’m also a patron of the local bonfire society which is enormous fun as well, they even had me dressed up as a swan one year. I think in a town the size of Brighton there are a lot of very talented filmmakers. There’s an amazing amount of talent out there but I think television companies are having major problems because of their budgets and the recession, it’s quite a tough time at the moment to become a film-maker.
Life through a lens
Does having a protégé interest you? Actually I do. I’ve got a guy called Biki Kangwana from Sussex University and he’s been invaluable because he speaks Swahili – he’ll be helping me out with the film that I want to make in Africa. I’ve trained at least a dozen people, a lot of whom have come from the Brighton area and are now quite well established in the industry.
Award-winning Sussex film-maker Nick Broomfield talks to Glen Ferris ahead of the Brighton Documentary Film Festival
W
ithout Nick Broomfield, there’s a distinct possibility that the critically lauded likes of Michael Moore would be venting their collective spleens via a completely different medium. The documentarian, who made his name with his pioneering reflexive filmmaking style (the often difficult movie production process is usually as big a part of his stories as the largerthan-life subjects), has since moved onto making docu-dramatic features with the award-winning Ghosts and The Battle For Haditha. But it’s for his probing and often controversial real-life accounts that he’s best known. The man who delved into the deaths of Biggie and Tupac, cried foul play in Kurt And Courtney and got up close and personal with a murderess in Aileen Wournos: Life And Death Of A Serial Killer is now a patron of Brighton’s SEE Documentary Film Festival, which takes place this week from Friday 19 to Sunday 21 February. We spoke to the Sussex-based auteur ahead of his appearance. How do you pick your next project? A subject has to be interesting enough for me to spend about a year working on it. For example, I’ve always been fascinated with Africa and what’s happening there right now [Broomfield’s next factbased drama, The Catastrophist, will be centred on the dictatorial woes of the Democratic Republic of the Congo]. I was living in America for years, and when you live there you don’t really have any idea what’s happening in Europe and Africa. So when I moved back, I decided I wanted to know more about what’s happening in this and that part of the world. You pioneered the on-camera documentary style that has been adopted by the likes of Michael Moore, Louis Theroux and Morgan Spurlock. Do you feel you were blazing a trail? I was probably the first one to do that style in a commercial and mainstream way and of course, when you first start to do something, you get a lot of criticism. But then it starts to catch on and then I suppose you personally become bored of it.
Michael Moore has certainly made some interesting films and it’s a style that works but I personally think that it’s done a bit too much now. As someone who’s known for getting involved in the nitty gritty of life, why did you decide to live in a quiet part of the Sussex countryside? I love Sussex, I grew up around Lindfield. I guess I’ve always just been a country boy at heart. I just came back from America yesterday and as soon as you head into the Ouse Valley and see the fields and the trees, you realise that it’s just such a beautiful place. I always look forward to coming back, which I guess is why I call it home.
“I thought about making a film about what’s happening to Sussex’s farmers”
What one piece of advice would you give up-and-coming documentary makers? It’s a bit of advice that I hate giving but I think that they should take a subject that’s popular and use that as a means to make their name and then express what it is that they want to do. Your last film, the Greenpeace-sponsored A Time Comes, was posted on YouTube; do you see the internet as an alternative way of distributing films in the future? It is, but the trouble is that nobody is making any money from it. YouTube now has a form that you can pay for to watch videos and I think that is a viable way forward. I think that investigative journalism, whether it’s the internet or newspapers, plays such an important role in the world that somebody needs to find a way to support these expensive but vitally important jobs. One way is to charge people for the information that they’re getting, otherwise journalism as we know it is just going to disappear. SEE: The Brighton Documentary Film Festival runs from 19–21 February. Visit www.seefestival.org for the full programme. Glen Ferris is Managing Editor of Screenrush (www.screenrush.co.uk)
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015_LS462_Brighton Fringe
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COVER FEATURE 15 Pic: Heather Shuker
spooky pleasure of Sing–Along–A–Wickerman. New Fringe venue The Old Courtroom will present the award-winning Bitesize Theatre, plus a daily Festival Fringe Film with films dating back to 1896, all based or made here in Brighton. The Marlborough Theatre is launching the Pink Fringe, Brighton’s very own Queer and LGBT mini-artsfestival featuring acts including the Drill Hall Darlings and acclaimed writer/director Neil Bartlett.
FRINGE FEVER Tickets are now on sale for the ever-evolving, outstandingly colourful entity that is Brighton Festival Fringe 2010
F
premiere of which will take place in Newhaven Fort. Adapted from a play by the chief spokesman of the UN Relief and Works Agency, it will be an immersive and inspiring performance sure to inspire debate on some of the 21st century’s thorniest issues. The New Venture Theatre, venue for last year’s acclaimed Festen, will present a promenade performance based on the legend of Icarus, and a production of Samuel Beckett’s Endgame. Some favourite venues and acts are returning to the Fringe for 2010. Fringe visual arts sponsor artrepublic are bringing back the CCA Art Bus, the beautiful mobile art gallery that hosted last year’s Sir Peter Blake exhibition, with another visit from Sir Peter himself in the pipeline. Fringe favourite the Parlure Spiegeltent returns with a sleek new version of The Aviator Club Cabaret; The Circus Of Horrors; very quiet disco dancing; a set from comedian Josie Long, and the Pic: Heather Shuker
rom Tuesday 16 February, Friends of Brighton Festival Fringe can buy tickets from the online box office. That’s a whole month earlier than ever before – and it’s not all that’s new at Fringe 2010. This year the Fringe turns green, teaming up with Firefly Solar to power all the entertainment at outdoor event Fringe City entirely from renewable energy sources. They also have a fantastic new outdoor venue at St Peter’s Church where Freerange are presenting an absolute corker of a comedy programme in their globe tent. Hot tickets likely to fly out of the box office include acclaimed dance troupe the Cholmondeleys and the Featherstonehaughs performing at the Nightingale Theatre, plus some groundbreaking homegrown drama. The bombing of a UN warehouse in Palestine is the subject of Brighton Theatre’s I Am a Warehouse, the UK
“New Fringe venue The Old Courtroom will be showing films dating back to 1896, all based or made here in Brighton” The Nightingale Theatre, The Brunswick, Komedia and other fantastic Fringe venues also have some big treats in store. Comedy promoters Laughing Horse are returning; last year’s ‘Star of the Festival’ award winner Lynn Ruth Miller is back; plus the Penny Dreadfuls and Lady Garden return to Upstairs At Three And Ten, along with the sequel to last year’s award-winning film noir parody, Bane. Brighton Festival Fringe 2010 will also see oodles of exhibitions, classical music, literature, kids events and much more. Brighton Festival Fringe 2010, Saturday 1–Sunday 23 May. Book in advance and avoid the booking fee by signing up as a ‘Friend of the Fringe’ (from £25) and book online from 16 February. If you purchased a Fringe ticket from their website last year, you will also qualify for an advance booking period from 25 February. Tickets go on sale to the general public on March 17. www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk
016_LS462_Ads
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017_LS462_food
2/11/10
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 17
Food & Drink Andrew Kay hosts a cocktail masterclass in his home with Myles Cunliffe of Chilled Bars
Martini time I met Myles in a pub at a Makers Mark bourbon tasting and a few weeks later he was setting up his portable bar in a suitcase in my sitting room ready for a cocktail masterclass. Well it would have been rude to say no, and I knew it would go down well with some of my team-mates here at Club Latest. What better way to lighten the miserable mood brought on by the city weather than a cocktail or two in the comfort of your own home? Myles was very efficient, clean and tidy, and when he left there was no evidence that he had been; he takes away everything – including the washing up. And whilst he was with us he shared his expert knowledge of mixology, demonstrating five different drinks and teaching us all how to make them. We all got up there and had a go, and we all did OK, although I did get told off for over-pouring the spirits – no surprise there, I hear you say. The range of cocktails was good too: long and short, dry and fruity but all delicious and with so many secrets. Did you know that there is an official face that must be pulled when shaking a cocktail. Myles calls it the sex face and Zara was definitely best in our group at that. He even demonstrated a little molecular mixology, the latest trend, and showed us how to make fruit and spirit ‘caviar’.
“Myles even demonstrated a little molecular mixology and showed us how to make fruit and spirit ‘caviar’” As a social event it was great fun, but it would have been an excellent team building exercise too and, as Myles pointed out, far more fun than building a bridge out of cardboard boxes in a cold park. How right he is. But with cocktails in bars often costing and arm and a leg and a few brain cells too, surely this was going to be an expensive evening? The answer is no. A two hour cocktail masterclass, with a minimum of 10 people, all aged over 18, “although I do a non-alcoholic one for kids’’ is £20 per head. This includes over two hours spent making five of the most current and classical cocktails at your home or office. Myles has a choice of bars from the ‘Bar in a Box’, which can be installed in a matter of minutes and taken anywhere, to the larger bars ideally
suited for bigger events. Everything is supplied, from the fruit, ice and glassware to fantastic spirits and soft drinks, and they even take away the rubbish at the end of the night. Perfect for a Stag or Hen do too.
Five hour cocktail masterclass This is for the more adventurous or for those who are more interested in the finer details of the wonderful world of spirits and cocktails. They cover five categories (vodka, gin, rum, whiskey and tequila) with a tutored tasting of each covering the basic entry level spirit going up to fantastically expensive spirits. You then get to make three cocktails from each category using the appropriate spirit and finishing with a Molecular Mixology crash course in caviar, foams, jellies and airs. Prices for this are £100 per person and are held on Saturdays from 12–5pm.
MyZo Myles’ signature drink Stolichnaya Vanil vodka double measure 1 measure fresh lemon juice 1 measure elderflower cordial Small piece fresh red chilli Shake and strain into a martini glass For full details of private parties – with or without Cocktail Masterclasses at your home or office – with a range of prices to suit all budgets, contact Myles on 01273 277076, info@chilledbars.co.uk, www.chilledbars.co.uk
What’s your favourite cocktail? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
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latestandrew
018_LS462_Hotlist
2/12/10
11:40 AM
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18 HOTLIST French
L7 Hotlist
Cocoa Patisserie
Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of homecooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
The Gallery The Gallery restaurant is Brighton’s little gem – an independent British restaurant located in the heart of the North Lanes. The Gallery prides itself on serving the very best fresh, locally sourced, seasonal food, with a menu created by their head chef Mosa Jobi, who joined the team from the Dorchester Mayfair
Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro hotel in 2007. The restaurant offers a welcoming environment to celebrate any occasion. The Gallery Restaurant, 28 East Street, Brighton, BN11HL, 01273 773327
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Twocourse menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
The Dorset loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian Donatello
Indian
Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Chaula’s
Fat Leo
Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury
Koba
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi.Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
019_LS462_Health
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HEALTH 19
Weird science Explore the unknown and the wonderfully weird at Brighton Science Festival 2010 Brighton Science Festival is here, offering a fortnight of exciting and engaging events all across Brighton and Hove – much of it free, none of it expensive, all of it amazing. Venues across the city will host events including an exhibition at Jubilee Library; Bright Sparks Family Fun Day at Hove Park Upper School; Philosophy In Pubs (debate) at The Park View Pub, and guest speakers in The Catalyst Club at Latest Musicbar. Spend an evening in the company of Lord Robert Winston at The Old Market (22 February). Head along to the Sallis Benney Theatre for Big Science Saturday (27 February), with guest speakers comedian Ben Miller and controversial Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee. Preview The Lion's Face, an opera about Alzheimer's disease and how it affects its sufferers and carers (27 February). The same day – different venue – see Elementary Carbon, a play about the eponymous element and its significance – from pencils to diamonds, to global warming and the basic stuff of you! Brighton Science Festival goes out with a bang with some truly inspirational talks and debates on Sunday 28 February in Life, The Universe And Everything. Richard, Joe and Carrie are the driving force behind Brighton Science Festival 2010. Their jam-packed programme of events promises to make you think twice about all things 'science'. Brighton Science Festival runs until 28 February, email richard@brightonscience.com, 01273 777628, www.brightonscience.com
THE S-WORD Let’s talk about sex – safe sex – a topic that’s barely even whispered, writes Zara Baker
I
t’s the most commonly diagnosed sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the UK, but there’s still an air of mystery surrounding Chlamydia. Recent NHS ad campaigns on television are working to raise awareness of this otherwise ‘silent’ infection, so called because there are often no visible symptoms. But with Chlamydia affecting one in 10 people under the age of 25, both men and women, this is one topic we should not be keeping silent. So how does Chlamydia affect individuals? This common STI can go undetected and passes between sexual partners. It’s reported that 75 per cent of women and 50 per cent of men have no symptoms, and unless you get tested, you are unlikely to know if you have it. Chlamydia can cause pains in the abdomen and a stinging sensation when passing urine. In the long term, it can make you infertile. But as with many sexual health topics, it’s something that can be difficult to talk about, especially among youngsters, who are most at risk. Many women believe Chlamydia testing is carried out at the same time as a smear test, but unless it’s requested, this is not the case. The NHS National Chlamydia Screening Programme (NCSP), however, is available. It’s a free and confidential test for under 25s that’s recommended if you’ve yet to be tested or have a new partner. What a lot of people don’t realise – and this is something the NHS are working to put across strongly in their ad campaign – is that Chlamydia testing is simple and pain free. A urine sample is taken (or a swab from females, which is done by herself) and tested. The testing is accurate and a course of antibiotics is prescribed if the test is positive. It’s a small price to pay for sexual health and peace of mind. Contraception remains a focus of NHS promotions. Advertising campaigns – specifically aimed at young adults – urge youngsters to carry condoms if they are thinking about sex. Condoms – for both men and women – are the only form of contraception to protect against pregnancy and STIs. Other common (and less common) forms of contraception prevent pregnancy only. With a number of contraceptive methods available, it can be daunting to know where to start. Many young women will go on the combined pill as using a condom isn’t 100 per cent effective. The hormones in the pill stop you ovulating (releasing an egg) and it is more than 99 per cent effective in preventing pregnancy. It also protects against cancers of the ovary, womb and colon. There are different pills available to suit different individuals and lifestyles. One pill gives you a 12-hour window in which to take it, which is ideal if you find it hard to remember to take it at the same time every day. It’s less effective, though, if you have an an upset tummy or sickness bug, so use extra protection for a week. For many women, a contraceptive implant is an easier option. It’s effective for three years and you can more or less forget about it. A 40mm tube is placed under the skin of the upper arm. It contains progestogen, which stops eggs being released. Similarly, an injection of progestogen gives eight to 12 weeks’ protection. Last month saw the new morning after pill, ulipristal acetate (UA), receive a lot of media attention. While the current morning after pill on the market gives women a 72-hour window in which to take it following unprotected sex, this new pill has been developed to prevent pregnancy for up to a week after. It presently costs three times as much as the alternative and is not yet available over the counter. www.nhs.uk/livewell/sexualhealth, www.nhs.uk/worthtalkingabout
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021_LS462_Stage
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> send your stage listings to stage@thelatest.co.uk
L7 WHAT’S ON
Decent exposure Alun Turing is Breaking The Code, both Enigma and moral, in Hugh Whitemore’s play
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e live in an age of increasing tolerance in some quarters and decreasing tolerance in others. It seems hard to believe today that homosexuality was once not only frowned upon but a punishable offence that often led to imprisonment. So while we relax about our easier circumstances it is good to be reminded of harder times not that long ago, and also reflect that, in some parts of the world, the same oppressive behaviour is still the norm.
Hugh Whitemore’s fascinating but tragic story of Alan Turing – mathematician, ‘father’ of computer science and a gay man in an intolerant era – is a relevant and timely production following Gordon Brown’s recent statement in recognition of the appalling and inhumane way that Turing was treated for being gay. Compassionate and often amusing, Whitemore’s play explores the life of a man who broke two different codes: the Enigma Codes during WWII and the gentlemanly code of sexual discretion. By
“This is only a foretaste of what's to come and only a shadow of what is going to be” Alan Turing The Mechanical Mind 1947
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 1 March > THE BASEMENT, BRIGHTON 01273 699733 www.thebasement.uk.com Are You Sitting Comfortably? Love! New stories straight from the heart, featuring local writers, embracing this month’s theme of love at The Basement. >17 Feb, 7.30pm, £6 BRIGHTON DOME, CORN EXCHANGE 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org God’s Garden Portuguese choreographer Arthur Pita presents a new full-length dance theatre work. >16 Feb, 8pm, £10–£15 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE, 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Hello, Dolly! Broadway classic’s score
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 22 February>
making little attempt to disguise his sexual predilections at a time when homosexuality was illegal and following his conviction for gross indecency, Turing was ultimately destroyed by the State he once saved. Director Suzie Dole says of Breaking the Code, “It is a privilege for me to direct Hugh Whitemore's beautifully crafted and sensitive play about one of Britain’s brilliant
Loved up White Rabbit are at it like bunnies in Are You Sitting Comfortably? Love!
includes ‘Put On Your Sunday Clothes’ and the title song ‘Hello, Dolly!’ >16–20 Feb, 7.15pm, 2.15pm matinee Sat, £13.50–£15
but misused heroes.” Breaking The Code, New Venture Theatre, Brighton, 27 March–3 April, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee 28 March. No evening performances 28 and 29 March. £9/8/6, box office 01273 746118, www.newventure.org.uk
You can even buy a ‘Teapot Cocktail’ from the bar. As well as its unique and atmospheric performance spaces, The Basement boasts a sensibly priced bar, serving ethically sourced beers, wines and spirits, making it a great place to spend an evening. Are You Sitting Comfortably? Love!, The Basement, Wednesday 17 February.
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Snow White On Ice The Russian Ice Stars retell the classic fairytale set to music and breathtaking skating. >24–28 Feb, 7.30pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu/Sat/Sun, £15.50–£26.50 Snow White On Ice
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH, 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk A Handful Of Henna Moving play based on real stories from Muslim women: a 13-year-old girl learns to understand her mother. >23 Feb, 7.45pm, £13/11/8 EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Anton And Erin: Steppin’ Out Stunning ballroom dancing and dazzling costumes from the Strictly dance icons.
Stage
ocated in the heart of Brighton, The Basement venue is a vibrant hub for all things subversive and idiosyncratic. That’s what they claim – and what they deliver. Love is in the air at The Basement this month, and White Rabbit invite you to join them for an evening of original storytelling in their candlelit warren. Part ’50s tearoom, part deranged children's party, it should woo you with irresistible new stories straight from the heart. Enjoy free cakes, sweets and treats, and enter their love poem competition for the chance to win a White Rabbit Love Kit.
>20 Feb, 3pm & 7.30pm, £35/29.50
Stagelistings
STAGE 21
NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.newventure.org.uk Dancing At Lughnasa Brian Friel's award-winning play based in Donegal in 1936. Joy, sadness, loss – and dancing.
>20–25 Feb, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Sun, £9/8 THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Lord Arthur Savile's Crime Trevor Baxter’s adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s play starring Gary Wilmot and Kate O’Mara. >16–20 Feb, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28 Haunted Niall Buggy and Brenda Blethyn star in updated version of Edna O’Brien’s play. >1–6 Mar, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28 UPSTAIRS AT THREE AND TEN, BRIGHTON 07800 983 290 www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk Katy And Rach Make Stuff Up Spontaneous, improvised theatre. >24 Feb, 8pm £7
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 22 February > > send your club listings to clubs@thelatest.co.uk
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 22 February > > send your music listings to music@thelatest.co.uk TUESDAY 16
BRIGHTON COALITION Haiti Earthquake Appeal Fundraiser. 9pm, £tbc CONCORDE 2 DJ Derek. At 68 this Bristol-based DJ is an ageless British Reggae legend! 11pm–3am, £2 DIGITAL Stonelove. 11pm–3am, £4 HANBURY CLUB Chat Noir. Gypsy and ‘20s/’30s Hot Swing club. 7pm, £10/4 JAM Don't Stop Believing. Pop and indie guilty pleasures. 11pm–3am, free KOMEDIA Born Bad. A wild and sexy night of delinquent rhythms. 11pm, £6/5 LIFE Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box. Fidget, bass and firing electro. 11pm–3am, £6/4 NEW HERO Somewhere In The Universe. Leading alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5 PAVILION TAVERN KOTJ. Loud, dirty rock ‘n’ roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 THE HOPE Synthetiquette. Pixie cut electro bash! 9pm–2am, £3 VOLKS Fragment. Exploring new realms with some sick spitting and techno influenced D'n'B. 11pm, £5/3
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Beth Nielsen Chapman Acclaimed Nashvillebased country singer-songwriter. Komedia, 8pm, £27 Max Tundra Veteran late ‘90s electronica star trend still gigging tween radio shows. Hector’s House, 7.30pm, £5 Owl City Lush, chart-bothering indie pop. Komedia, 8pm, £10 Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers + Bernice MacDonald Tex-mex mixed with country rock from this Arizona band, supported by local lass Bernice McDonald. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £8 The Sunshine Underground + Wild Palms Leeds-based indie-disco along the lines of a British version of The Rapture. Digital, 7.30pm, £11
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THURSDAY 18 Courtney Pine + Omar Puente The British jazz legend pays homage to great saxophonist Sidney Bechet. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £12.50–17.50 Polar Bear Post-jazz experimentalists return to the fray. The Old Market, 8pm, £10 The Auteur Power pop quartet. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc
AUDIO Supercharged. Massive midweek beats from Brazilian D'n'B veteran, DJ Marky. 11pm–2.30am, £6/4 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. 11pm–3am, £1 LIFE Broke. Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 10.30pm–2.30am, £4/1
AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures, classic hits and maverick pop genius! 11pm–4am, £6/5 CONCORDE 2 Soundcrash Brighton with Trojan Sound System. Reggae for the people meets that electronic 'Sheffield clangy thing'! 11pm, £7 DIGITAL BlahBlahBlah. Clever mash-up king, Sinden will be rocking the floor with his eclectic selections. 11pm–4am, £7 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 JAM Doctor's Orders Pub Quiz & Club. Boom-bap, soul and new bangers. 9pm–3am, £4/5 KOMEDIA Spellbound. An 80's club night for all the haters of 80s nights! 9pm, £5 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 THE HANBURY CLUB Margot's Party. Kitsch caper meets glam sandwich! 7pm, £10/8 VOLKS Black Box. Bringing the sickest of Techno for your audio pleasure. 11pm–5am, £6/8
THURSDAY 18
SUNDAY 21
BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/2 CONCORDE 2 Haiti Appeal Fundraiser. See highlight. 8pm–2am, £5 DIGITAL Thursday Club. Revolutionary rhetoric with Klashnekoff! 11pm, £10/7 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Steady On. 10.30pm–3.30am, free JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. ‘50s R’n’B and original Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3 LIFE Shameless. 11pm, £1
BRIGHTON COALITION Frequency. Delivering a range of house/breaks/electro. 10pm, free HONEY CLUB Spectrum. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1
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HAITI APPEAL FUNDRAISER In the wake of the devastating crisis in Haiti, Concorde 2 is throwing an almighty fundraising bash in aid of the Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) Haiti Earthquake Appeal. B-Town's finest talent are on hand with some body shakin' audio delights from the junk-jiving, ass-shaking Fat 45, Afro-Latin-Funk project Kalakuta Millionaires to the wildhearted Gypsy dub bunch, Manouchska! Plus Mr Bongo lends deck support with DJs from a host of Brighton's party crews including Roots Garden and Carnivalesque. Dig deep and raise a roof! Thursday 18 February, Concorde 2
TUESDAY 16 AUDIO New Slang.Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Lively disco beats. 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 JAM Pot Kettle Black. Spanking new indie bash playing retro to now. 10pm–2am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–2.30am, free b4 11, £3/2 after PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, free/£3
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FRIDAY 19 African Soul Rebels 2010: Oumou Sangare + Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou + The Kalahari Surfers A selection of some of Africa's finest soul artists, including the funk-driven Sangare and the afrobeat of Orchestre PolyRythmo de Cotonou. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £15.50-18.50
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Bat For Lashes Brighton's very finest export and recipient of two Mercury nominations, Natasha Khan memorably channels the eccentric likes of Kate Bush and Bjork. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £17 Brighton Jazz Club: Charlotte Glasson Band Weekly gathering of jazz musos and fans alike. Komedia, 8pm, £12
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SATURDAY 20 Ezio Acoustic rock and folk. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc The Exposed Punk rockers who have supported some of the greats. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc The Leisure Society Folk mixed with orchestral chamber music; associates of the acclaimed Wilkommen Collective. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £10
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SUNDAY 21 Shearwater Quality melancholy other project from Okkervil River man and keen ornithologist(!) Jonathan Meiburg. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £8 The Porchlight Smokers Popular Brightonian country rockers. The Neptune, 8pm, £tbc Vineyard: The Evening Service Gospel themed music and Sunday night debate. Latest Musicbar, 7pm, free
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MONDAY 22 Girls San Francisco indie rock hipsters. Audio, 7pm, 7.50 Japandroids Arty lo-fi rockers from Vancouver. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc Keith James: A Tribute To Nick Drake Extremely faithful, acclaimed tribute to the legendary folk singer-songwriter. Komedia, 8pm, £15
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MONDAY 22 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free LIFE AKA AKA ROAR. Sounds from the full dubstep spectrum, past and future. 10pm–2.30am, £2 b4 12
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FRIDAY 19
Animal Kingdom Indie rock influenced by the classic US West Coast sound. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc
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023_LS462_musichighlights_news
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> send your music listings to music@thelatest.co.uk Musichighlights
MUSIC 23
Music
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 22 February >
AFRICAN SOUL REBELS
With Jeff Hemmings
Another fantastic looking line up in the ongoing African Soul Rebel series. This one is headlined by Oumou Sangare and Oumou Sangare her funk-driven Wassoulou sound, spellbinding vocals and irrepressible live performances. Also on the bill are Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou, based in Benin, and one of the great afrobeat bands of the ’70s. The dub rhythms, punk aesthetics and social commentary of Southern Africa’s The Kalahari Surfers make up the threesome. Friday 19 February, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome
POLAR BEAR The highly prolific writer, band leader and drummer Seb Roachford has achieved considerable sucess with former Mercury Music Prize nominees Polar Bear. Fourth album Peepers is due this month, another exploratory yet largely accessible nu-jazz offering. Friday 19 February, Old Market
WILKOMMEN ORCHESTRA Brighton’s Willkommen Collective have assembled a 20-piece orchestra, featuring freshly arranged songs and members of Shoreline, Sons of Noel And Adrian, The Miserable Rich and new outfit The Climbers. This is a one off project with just two gigs planned. Friday 19 February, Unitarian Church
HAITI APPEAL FUNDRAISER A stupendous line-up of acts from many of the great and good in this city, with Fujiya & Miyagi, Will & The People, Los Albertos and Transformer, all playing live along with DJ action from Midfield General, Kate Wildblood and Yusuf Sebaiti, while Stick It On and Shameless take over one of the rooms. Friday 19 February, Coalition
KATHYRN WILLIAMS Beautiful and intimate, folk-tinged songs from the immensely talented and funny Geordie singer-songwriter. Her first album was produced for £80 back in 1999, and she is just about to release her newest offering the same day as this gig. The aptly titled The Quickening was recorded live in just four days and with a maximum of three takes per song. Monday 22 February, Komedia
HEARD MENTALITY In a world full of half-baked music initiatives, Unsigned Band Review really delivers in helping musicians get heard
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A few years ago, being unsigned could have meant ‘not very good’, or ‘too difficult to work’. But that was back in the day when, if you didn’t have a record deal, you were unlikely to get anywhere. Things have changed somewhat; the explosion in global communications has been the main driving force in breaking up the old models of the music industry. Now, with instant communication, it’s possible to get heard in other ways. One of these initiatives is Unsigned Band Review (UBR), who have teamed up with Latest 7 to help local acts get all important industry feedback. And on 11 March they are coming to Brighton to host a night of some of the region’s best bands. The Perils (pictured), Dirty Scavenger and Brownstar will play alongside Portslade – selected for being the most successful act in the history of Latest 7’s Latest Brighton Download Chart (see p9 for this week’s chart). The Prince Albert gig is also a chance for bands, singers and composers to drop off their demo for the UBR team of music industry experts to listen to. If you want a guaranteed review from a member of the UBR team, simply buy a ticket to the Prince Albert gig and turn up with your demo CD and contact details. A review will be published on the UBR website. Until March, UBR are also offering a free review for the number one artist each week on the Latest Brighton Download Chart. Project manager Kat Jackman (who heads up UBR along with Olivier Behzadi, former head of A&R at
Sony Music) says, “I’ve been in many Brighton bands and that’s where the inspiration came from. I know how difficult it is to get advice. People might be automatically complimentary, whereas we give more hardcore advice from top music industry experts.” UBR attempts to bridge the gap betwen bands and musicians, and the music industry. Different members of the UBR team have different areas of industry expertise; for instance A&R, songwriting, production, press and PR and marketing. Senior executives form Warner Brothers and Universal Music sit alongside music editors, journalists and radio DJs. “Bands who have come down to one of our previous nights have gone on to be offered major record and publishing deals and have hooked up with established music producers,” says Kat. In a time when there are many unsigned music inititaives, UBR have been singled out as a credible and useful tool for musicians to get involved with – glowing reviews have appeared in Clash magazine, Kerrang! and Rock Sound. There are just 120 tickets available for the event on 11 March, and the first 50 to bring their demo to the night will get a free single release package with digital distributor Zamalam, enabling your music to appear on iTunes, Amazon and hundreds of other online stores. Unsigned Band Review, 11 March, Prince Albert. www.unsignedbandreview.comursday 4 February
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 22 February > > send your events listings to events@thelatest.co.uk
> Tuesday 16 to Monday 22 February > > send your art listings to art@thelatest.co.uk
BRIGHTON HALF MARATHON
Here And Now
2010 marks the 20th year of The Brighton Half Marathon. Organised by The Sussex Beacon, the Brighton-based clinical care centre for people living with HIV/Aids, this year’s Half Marathon is also raising funds for St Dunstans – helping blind ex-Service men and women, and WaterAid – who find practical solutions to provide water, sanitation and hygiene education to the world's poorest people. The marathon route has been adapted over the years, but as ever, it begins and ends on Brighton seafront. Following this, the course takes in many of the city's top attractions, including the Royal Pavilion, the North Laine and the West Pier, making the run scenic as well as fun. Children aged 8 to 16 are invited to take part in one of two youth races: an 800m race for ages 8 to 11s, and a 2.5km for 12 to 16s. Madeira Drive will be closed for the races, ensuring the safety of its participants. This also allows the kids to use the same start and finish zone as the adults. The seafront is guaranteed to get busy so if you’re not taking part in the run, get there early to bag a prime viewing spot and lend your support. Brighton Half Marathon takes place on Sunday 21 February. Visit www.beaconhalf.org.uk or www.sportsystems.net to register. To become a volunteer on the day, telephone 01273 694222 ext 246.
Collaborative exhibition from University of Brighton Faculty of Arts students, offering the opportunity to showcase the work they have developed at the mid-point of their degree. Second year students from Painting, Sculpture, Printmaking and Critical Fine Art Practice will be exhibiting with help from curator Barry Barker. Here And Now, University of Brighton Gallery, 01273 643010. Until 23 February.
Bright Town Award-winning local artist and children’s book illustrator Christian Birmingham exhibits a new selection of impressionist chalk pastel landscape drawings that are responses to the changing light of Brighton's seafront – an often very subtle, but characteristically bright light. Bright Town, Café Balcony, Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 01273 290900. Until 25 April.
Walk A Mile In My Shoes
Events highlights UNTIL SUNDAY 28 Brighton Science Festival Brighton Science Festival marks the 350th anniversary of the Royal Society. The festival has a range of themes throughout the fortnight, from 'Microbes and Me' to 'Unweave the Rainbow.' The insirational variety of events, talks, exhibitions and films includes several TV names from Robert Winston to comedian Ben Miller. Various venues, events are free, however booking online in advance is advised for all events. Visit www.brightonscience.com for a full programme.
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TUESDAY 16–THURSDAY 18 The Circus Project Three-day half-term Circus Performance Schoo. Learn the tricks of the trade – from juggling and trapeze to clowning and acrobalance – with experienced circus professionals. Then show off your new-found skills in a special circus performance showcase for friends and family. Pavilion Theatre, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org, £75 for three days.
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THURSDAY 18–SUNDAY 21 Brighton Zine Fest 2010 Four day celebration of zines and DIY. taking place at various times and venues across Brighton. Features include Thursday's swapshop, Friday's fundraising gig and a fayre and evening soiree on Saturday. The weekend is rounded off with a film viewing and vegan roast on Sunday. Email brightonzinefest@gmail.com for more information or visit www.brightonzinefest.co.uk
Walk a Mile In My Shoes is a voluntary arts project for looked-after and adopted children. Over the last four months, a group of children aged 11 to 18 have been meeting weekly, along with ‘attachment’ specialist Louise Bomber, in the art room of Somerhill Junior School. The result is a range of multimedia pieces portraying what it is like to have experienced complex relational traumas and losses. Walk A Mile In My Shoes, The Art Space, London Road Post Office. Until 19 February.
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Good Morning Mr Magpie
FRIDAY 19–SUNDAY 21 SEE – The Brighton Documentary Film Festival Fifth annual SEE festival, displaying new material from upcoming and established filmmakers. This year's festival kicks off with 'An Evening with Louis Theroux', who will be giving a presentation on his BAFTA-winning documentary films. (See also L7 Interview: Nick Broomfield on p 13). . Various times, Friday £10.50, Saturday: £40/£16, Sunday: £45/£16. Old Ship Hotel, Kings Road, Brighton. Visit www.seefestival.org or call 01273 709709 for more details.
Brighton-based artist Hizze Fletcher presents an exhibition in contemporary café The Hanover Canteen. Responsible for the annual charity event, 100 Artists for World Aids Day, Good Morning Mr Magpie features work based around the popular childhood rhyme ‘One For Sorrow...’ and the folklore and superstitions surrounding this unique bird. See more of Hizzie’s work at the Aqua Galleries on Brighton seafront. Hizze Fletcher: Good Morning Mr Magpie, The Hanover Canteen, Elm Grove, 01273 672837. Until 28 February.
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tues 16 feb eat sleep attack+the sunshine getaway+ underline the sky+tom and the tides 8pm £tbc
wed 17 feb DV8 music and fashion showcase 7pm £5
thurs 18 feb downstairs: wide eyed order 8pm £3 upstairs: cafe scientifique alasdair beal-polymaths, who
manchester street, brighton tel.
needs them 7.30pm £free (a collection will be made to cover costs)
sat 20 feb
fri 19 feb
sun 21 feb
upstairs: thank folk its friday! super+del sloane+trashbat acoustic 8pm £4 downstairs: tribal fusion belly dance mira betz&hilde cannoodt doors, 7pm show 8pm £8 later on...sirens go to france miss utopia bloosom presents the sights & sounds of the moulin rouge £7/5 10pm til
women for women fundraiser with speakers and short film
01273 687171
2am private party
6.30pm £2 mon 22 feb futureshorts:opposites attract intoxicating collection of short films & music vidoes + kin; aesthetic
19.30pm £5
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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FILM
filmhighlight
L7 Film
Invictus (12A) Dir: Clint Eastwood
Biopic of Nelson Mandela and a splintered South Africa, set after the great man was released and elected to presidency. Morgan Freeman is Mandela, looking for a way to unite his country and bring black and white South Africans together. Seeing an opportunity in sport, he enlists the help of the national rugby team captain (Matt Damon) to bring their people together. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Showing this week The Princess And The Frog (U) Dir: John Musker, Ron Clements
There’s this jazz-loving prince, right? Fun lovin’, kicking it up in New Orleans – until a deal with a voodoo doctor goes bad and our Prince Naveen is turned into a frog. His desperate attempts to become human again lead him to a beautiful girl named Tiana and plenty of adventures. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
The Wolfman (15) Dir: Joe Johnston
Benicio Del Toro in Victorian England returns to the village he’s shunned since the death of his mother to help his brother’s betrothed (Emily Blunt) find the poor boy. Oh, and there’s been a monster slaughtering folks at every full moon. You surely don’t think the two are connected do you? With Anthony Hopkins and Antony Sher. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Breakfast At Tiffany’s (PG) Dir: Blake Edwards
Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) Dir: Chris Columbus
Percy knew he was kind of special when he discovered he could stay underwater for an incredible amount of time. What he didn’t guess was that this was because his dad is Poseidon (Kevin McKidd) – one of those things you find out fast when a teacher turns into a winged demon and attacks you. Turns out the three big gods of the Greeks – Zeus, Poseidon and Hades – had a number of kids who are half god and half human. Percy finds out even more when he’s taken to the mythical 600th floor of the Empire State Building, where he finds the Gods of Olympus and a new life awaiting him. But it’s all thrown into the balance when Zeus’ lightning bolt gets nicked and Percy has to stop a war between the gods. No pressure. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Valentine’s Day (12A) Dir: Gary Marshall
A star-studded ensemble cast crossing stories on one single Valentine’s Day. From grandparents to kids, couples and singletons and
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starring (amongst others) Julia Roberts, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Anne
Hathaway and Bradley Cooper. Probably not for the jaded of heart. Showing at Odeon & Cineworld
A classic adaptation of Truman Capote’s novel about New York call girl Holly Golightly (played with iconic style by Audrey Hepburn), and her relationship with George Peppard’s writer, who also happens to be her downstairs neighbour. Seedy, stunning and with a delectible cat named Cat. Showing at Duke of York’s
A Single Man (12A) Dir: Tom Ford
Nominated for three Golden Globes and based on a Christopher Isherwood novel, with Colin Firth as George, a man in mourning after the death of his longterm partner Jim (Matthew Goode). In one day he meets cocky ‘seize the day’ youngster Nicholas Hoult and old friend Charley (Julianne Moore), who still hopes for a future for the two of them. Beautiful life. Showing at Duke of York’s & Odeon
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 16
TUESDAY 16
TUESDAY 16
TUESDAY 16
Astro Boy (PG) 11.30, 3.45 Avatar 3D (12A) 10.00, 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 Away We Go (15) 8.45 Invictus (12A) 11.45, 5.15 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 10.15, 1.00, 3.45, 6.30, 9.15 The Princess And The Frog (U) 10.45, 1.15, 3.30, 6.00 A Single Man (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 5.20, 7.45 Up (U) 10.30am Up In The Air (15) 2.30, 8.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 The Wolfman (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Youth In Revolt (15) 4.00, 7.15, 9.30
A Single Man (12A) 4.00 (Silver Screen), 9.00 Breakfast At Tiffany’s (PG) 11.00am (Silver Screen) Ponyo (U) 1.30 (Silver Screen), 6.30
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 11.50, 2.10, 4.10 Astro Boy (PG) 11.10, 1.30, 3.40 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.20, 3.50, 4.50, 7.20, 8.20 Battle For Terra 3D (PG) 10.20, 12.10, 2.00 Edge Of Darkness (15) 9.10 Invictus (12A) 5.45, 8.40 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30 Precious (15) 6.30, 9.00 The Princess And The Frog (U) 11.00, 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 The Wolfman (15) 11.20, 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 1.00 Avatar (12A) 8.00 It’s Complicated (15) 5.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30
WEDNESDAY 17
FRIDAY 19
Astro Boy (PG) 11.30, 3.45 Avatar 3D (12A) 10.00, 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 Away We Go (15) 8.45 Invictus (12A) 11.45, 5.15 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 10.15, 1.00, 3.45, 6.30, 9.15 The Princess And The Frog (U) 10.45, 1.15, 3.30, 6.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 8.45 A Single Man (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 5.20, 7.45 Up (U) 10.30am Up In The Air (15) 2.30, 8.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 The Wolfman (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Youth In Revolt (15) 4.00, 7.15, 9.30
TBC
WEDNESDAY 17
THURSDAY 18
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 11.50, 2.10, 4.10 Astro Boy (PG) 11.10, 1.30, 3.40 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.20, 3.50, 4.50, 7.20, 8.20 Battle For Terra 3D (PG) 10.20, 12.10, 2.00 Edge Of Darkness (15) 9.10 Invictus (12A) 5.45, 8.40 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30 Precious (15) 6.30, 9.00 The Princess And The Frog (U) 11.00, 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 The Wolfman (15) 11.20, 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 1.00 Avatar (12A) 4.00 It’s Complicated (15) 8.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30
THURSDAY 18
SATURDAY 20
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 11.50, 2.10, 4.10 Astro Boy (PG) 11.10, 1.30, 3.40 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.20, 3.50, 4.50, 7.20, 8.20 Battle For Terra 3D (PG) 10.20, 12.10, 2.00 Edge Of Darkness (15) 9.10 Invictus (12A) 5.45, 8.40 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30 Precious (15) 6.30, 9.00 The Princess And The Frog (U) 11.00, 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 The Wolfman (15) 11.20, 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20
Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 1.00 Avatar (12A) 4.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 10.00, 1.30, 4.30, 7.30
WEDNESDAY 17 A Single Man (12A) 11.00 (Big Scream), 4.00, 9.00 Ponyo (U) 1.30, 6.30
THURSDAY 18 A Single Man (12A) 4.00, 9.00 Ponyo (U) 1.30, 6.30
SATURDAY 20 Happy Feet (U) 11.00am (Kids’ Club)
SUNDAY 21 Brazil (15) 6.00
MONDAY 22 TBC
THURSDAY 18 Astro Boy (PG) 11.30, 3.45 Avatar 3D (12A) 10.00, 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 Away We Go (15) 8.45 Invictus (12A) 11.45, 5.15 Me And Orson Welles (12A) 10.30am Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 10.15, 1.00, 3.45, 6.30, 9.15 The Princess And The Frog (U) 10.45, 1.15, 3.30, 6.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 8.45 A Single Man (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 5.20, 7.45 Up (U) 10.30am Up In The Air (15) 2.30, 8.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 The Wolfman (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Youth In Revolt (15) 4.00, 7.15, 9.30
Films showing Friday 19–Monday 22 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
The Wolfman
Films showing Friday 19–Monday 22 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
WEDNESDAY 17 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 1.00 Avatar (12A) 4.00 It’s Complicated (15) 8.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30
FRIDAY 19 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 1.00 Avatar (12A) 4.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30
SUNDAY 21 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 1.00 Avatar (12A) 4.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30
MONDAY 22 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 5.00
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COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 16 February to Monday 22 February >
> Tuesday 16 February to Monday 22 February > > send your gay listings to gay@thelatest.co.uk
> send your comedy listings to comedy@thelatest.co.uk
JULIE JEPSON: INNER BADGER + ROSIE WILBY: THE SCIENCE OF SEX
TUESDAY 16 LEGENDS Wine On Tuesdays. Soak up work blues with BOGOHP on vino! 11pm–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Bingo's Not A Dirty Word. With Kath. Winner takes the pot, job done! 8pm, £1 QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Eclectic selections from electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
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t’s a double whammy of laughter from the ladies, putting the final nail in the coffin of the fallacy that women can’t do comedy. Rosie Wilby, Liverpool-born and Julie Jepson London-based, comes from a background of music, until her banter Rosie Wilby between songs took over entirely. In this, her 2009 Edinburgh Festival show, Rosie has a look at our sexual identities, frissons and chemistries – which anyone who has ever been on a date knows is a minefield of comedic opportunities. From aphrodisiacs to orientations, by way of a dissection of the action of kissing, the scientist in Rosie takes over in trying to find the answers to questions we’ll never stop asking. How to make it better, what is better, and why do I like it like this and you don’t? Brighton-based Julie Jepson is a familiar face on the Sussex circuit, so it’s a real treat to see all of her premier Edinburgh Festival 2009 show and feast on an entire hour of her funnies, rather than only a stingy 10 or 20 minutes as a part of a longer line-up. Affable and engaging, Julie’s show is chiefly autobiographic, leaving plenty for other Brightonians to identify with as well as pearls from her Rotherham upbringing. From being the only daughter in a family made up of her older brothers and coming out to her wedding dressmaking mother, this is a delight. You can get both of these shows on one ticket. Mega bonza! Julie Jepson: Inner Badger + Rosie Wilby: The Science Of Sex, Upstairs At Three And Ten, Saturday 20 February, 8pm, £7/5. follow me on twitter
latestvicky
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WEDNESDAY 17 AMSTERDAM Total Request Karaoke. Pick a song to belt out, vid to watch or tune for your audio pleasure! 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Games. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Open Mic Night. 8.30pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Anything Goes. Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm, free R-BAR Midweek Mash Up. DJ Beast playing her finest mash ups from electro pop to darker shades of electric vibes! 12pm–2am REVENGE Death To Disco. New midweek bash to meet your indie electro pop and alternative beats needs. 10.30pm, £2 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
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THURSDAY 18 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL: My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Medication Thursday. A prescription free round of pool with each round! So get 'em in! 1pm, free LEGENDS Coreaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top Vs Emergency Room: Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm, £5/free THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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THURSDAY 18 Brian Gittens and Friends Pyecombe’s finest roadside café owner, Mr Brian Gittins welcomes you to another evening of entertainment. Every month, Brian introduces two acts he’s met on the comedy circuit and somehow co-opted to perform. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6
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The Humble Quest For A Universal Genius An exciting new monthly comedic night starts here. Top comedians from across the UK are pitted against each other to find a renaissance person for the 21st century, excelling in art, science, poetry, sport, hunting, philosophy and languages. Hosted by the delightful Mark Allen. Featuring Matt Fforde and Terry Saunders. Komedia, 8pm, £6/4
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John Bishop: Elvis Has Left The Building The multi award-winning comedian and star of For One Night Only, Michael McIntyre's Roadshow, Skins, The Late Late and 8 Out of 10 Cats, performs a hilarious show that will have audiences begging for more Komedia, 8pm, £14/12
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FRIDAY 19 Krater Comedy Club Award-winning comedy every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Komedia, 7.30pm, £14.50/10
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The Treason Show The latest in sketches and songs from this marvellous satirical group, with news right up to the day of the show fair game for spoofery. The Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £12.50/10
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SATURDAY 20 Julie Jepson: Inner Badger + Rosie Wilby: The Science Of Sex Jepson explores her inner badger while Wilby investigates the science of attraction, sexual chemistry and identity. Upstairs AtThree And Ten, 8pm, £7/5
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> Komedia, 7pm & 10.30pm, £15–£29 Laugh Down Babylon Great local comedy from Alan Seabrook, Eden Rivers, Sha Wylie, Neil Dagley, Joseph Kenny and Karl Davison. Caroline Of Brunswick, 8.30pm, £2
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Laughing Horse Comedy Stand-up comedy from Robert White, Iszi Laurence, Lee Hume, Adam Tempest, Snorri Kristjansson and Lou Conran. With guest compere Nigel Taylor. The Quadrant, 8.30pm, £6/5
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The Treason Show The latest in sketches and songs from this marvellous satirical group, with news right up to the day of the show fair game for spoofery. The Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £12.50/10
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SUNDAY 21 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 8pm, £11/£6
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FRIDAY 19 CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. The best bubblegum tunes, sweet camp pop and your requests. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A. Indie, electro, soul, punk, and the classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop. Join Alex Baker and Stewart T for a night of chart remixes, dance anthems and commercial house. 10.30pm–5am, £5/free THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop and handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
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>highlight STUDIO 150 Who said Monday wasn't our fun day? Leave the blues out in the cold with Brighton's weekly gay institution, Studio 150. Thrash that manic Monday out on the floor where Juice FM's Ali K and Ruby Roo from Radio Reverb load up the decks with pop, trash, dance classics and a huge smattering of indie. Plus the bar's running deals that make Smart Price look like Harrods with £1.50 spirit and mixers, and a tiny £1.50 door tax. Anyone seeing a theme here? Their only apology is the sicknote you'll be scrawling the next day. Monday 16 February, Charles St Club
SATURDAY 20 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Fierce. Tantalising cocktails, reasonable prices and the best funky house and commercial tunes! 9pm–3am, free LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Cherry Pop. Cheesy upbeat classics! 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Quintin Smith + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin. 12pm-12am, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE ZONE Presents... Lady James. 9.30pm
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SUNDAY 21 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free CHARLES STREET BAR Showtime. Side-splitting cabaret from Titti La Camp 7pm, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Miss Jason. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. With your host, Cat. 6pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. Relaxing acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by Miss Jason's barmy Bingo! 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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MONDAY 22 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Spinning party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
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027_LS462_reviews
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10:59 AM
Page 1
REVIEWS 27
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk JLS
JESCA HOOP
Last year they were supporting Lemar; this year, the X Factor runners-up were the band the ‘tween’ audience were here to see. JLS are huge stars thanks to the media, extensive merchandise, their boy band good looks – oh, and their singing. It’s easy to get caught up in the JLS hysteria – this show had the loudest crowd I’ve ever witnessed. “Who’s going to catch me when I faint?” one young girl asked beforehand. For most girls, it was all about Aston, but solo Michael Jackson covers displayed the real singing talents of each – Oritsé namely, while Marvin’s stage presence was electric and dominant, and the whole band showed off flawless dance routines. Support from Stevie Hoan and Chipmunk kick-started the mass hysteria. Brighton Centre, 9 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Zara Baker
A full house was held spellbound by the talent and charm of Tom Waits’ former nanny. Playing songs from her second album she ranged in style from Weimar cabaret to the Belleville harmonies of ‘Out The Back Door’, via the beguiling siren’s call of title track ‘Hunting My Dress’. Sounding like a southern Californian cross between Kate Bush and Joni Mitchell, she told of her Mormon upbringing between songs about death and name checking each of the Beastie Boys on ‘Come And Bring Your Stereo’. A truly compelling and absolutely enchanting artist. Latest Musicbar, 4 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements
WILLKOMMEN COLLECTIVE PRESENTS RICHARD DAWSON Coming on like a cross between a fur trapper and ice road trucker, Richard Dawson was a perfect fit for the spartan, freezing but welcoming surrounds of the brilliant all-new Coachwerks. Turns out he’s a Geordie and the Alaskan hirsuteness is just a jive. An accomplished guitarist and funny bloke, he does a nice take on quirky, stark balladeer, spoilt only by some incomprehensible rhyming schemes. Similarly, Danny, from Laish, knows his way around a ballad but seemed to want to fit unwieldy stories into song structures which just wouldn’t hold ‘em. Animal Magic Tricks – studied, beauty from Frances a la Joan As Policewoman. Coachwerks, 5 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Jan Goodey
MARIZA
ADAM GREEN
Sometimes a performance blows your socks off so much you think you'll remember it forever. Mariza’s melancholic, lively fado music was so beautiful, and she herself so mesmeric, this felt like a once-in-alifetime experience – for some of us. The Portuguese singer thanked one man in the front row who admitted seeing her perform 20 times. For us first timers, it was easy to see why he was so hooked. Imagine everything sad in the world expressed in a vocal that sounds like it comes straight from God. She moved me to tears at the same time as making me feel glad to be alive. A wonderful talent. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 4 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Rachel Pegg
Following a competent but uninspiring set from power pop Scousers Sound Of Guns, a slightly tipsy and very frisky Adam Green played a storming set which drew mainly from his latest album. Sounding like Lou Reed’s ‘Transformer’ sung by John Cale, new songs like ‘Stadium Soul’ and ‘Give Them A Token’ were well received. Stalking the stage like a panther, Adam crowd surfed, flirted outrageously and almost knocked himself out with a mic stand. Finishing up with crowd pleasers, ‘Jessica Simpson’ and the very un-PC ‘No Legs’, both performer and audience had a blast. Concorde 2, 6 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements
Did you see Massive Attack at Brighton Dome? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Pic: Mike Burnell
DARK DAYS MASSIVE ATTACK Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 9 February ✪✪✪✪✪
F
rom their origins on the ’80s Bristol club scene through to the final fragmented notes of this hugely anticipated comeback date, Massive Attack’s career has been a sort of sonic, 20-year war on ease. Even their big cry-along anthems – ‘Unfinished Sympathy’, ‘Protection’ and ‘Teardrop’, all sung here with the aid of long term associates Deborah Miller and the awesome Martina TopleyBird – have a just-out-of-reach quality that keeps your soul permanently on its toes (and the 'coffee table' label just about at bay). The darkest bits of fifth album Heligoland, meanwhile, circle restlessly like, I dunno, weird black metal crows...? Which makes the Bristol triphoppers the perfect bet to soundtrack a time in which our economy is as stable as the ball in a City boy squash game, the army body count in Iraq has just exceeded that of the Falklands, and the horrors in Haiti are being hailed as, well, only the start of it mate. This hasn't escaped the notice of Robert del Naja (3D) and the newly reinstated Grant Marshall (Daddy G), who were also joined on stage by legendary dub
vocalist Horace Andy (lightening the tone a little in what looked like a pair of silk pajamas). Flanked by two towering speaker stacks wracked nearly to the roof, and silhouetted in purple light, they seized the sociopolitical gauntlet in both hands with a vast digital screen that scrolled tabloid headlines about John Terry and ‘Mrs Reid’ (during ‘Inertia Creeps’), scraps of kidnapping reports, and the comparative costs of a Kenyan social worker’s salary and Damien Hirst’s stupid diamond skull. Driven by two drum kits, their sound was as precise as it was murky, the gloomy grooves peppered with iconic moments from the first crank of deformed guitar riff on ‘Rising Son’ to the last stuttering beat of ‘Teardrop’. And, just when we were wondering if it’d be churlish to say they hadn’t played ‘Karmacoma’, they brought the house down with it. The cost of a Massive Attack live show? Well, the last tour was reportedly so high tech it nearly sent them into the red. But two hours in the company of the most in every way switchedon band in Britain? Priceless. Bella Todd
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
028_LS462_Sports/TV_Column
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2/11/10
3:24 PM
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SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
L7 TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
16 – 22 FEBRUARY
Marathon Mary
Telly Talk
Marathon Mary copes with a cold and a new route
With Victoria Nangle
I
Going live
t seems like everyone in Brighton has a cold. It doesn’t help that the winter’s been going on for ever – luckily so far this week we haven’t yet had the heavy snow predicted in some quarters of the media, but by the time you read this anything could have happened. A mini ice age, perhaps? The real challenge posed by the Brighton Marathon, and the Sussex Beacon Half, is that you have to train through the toughest weather conditions of the year, through Christmas excesses and January viruses. I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way because by May the Festival will be here and I won’t care any more about running. But on freezing cold, rainy, dark evenings, it does make me question why I’m doing it. I ran 15 miles the other weekend, but I’ve since had a week off because I have a cold. I wasn’t sure whether to try to keep up the training, but a Google search soon put me off. The most alarming blogs said that running with a cold can cause it to spread to “The most alarming your heart and could prove fatal. Even for a blogs said that running hypochondriac like me, that seems unlikely. But joggers with a cold can cause it on runnersworld.co.uk seem to spread to your heart” to agree that attempting to carry on training while ill will at the least make the bug spread to your chest, if not give you labyrinthitis or pleurisy. Taking time out at this stage, two weeks before the half marathon, seems like a backwards move, but if it means I recover quicker and don’t miss the race, it will be worth it. Last year I caught a cold at exactly the same time and had to bail out of the Brighton half for Eastbourne (which has a tougher course with a big hill right near the start). Meanwhile, the Sussex Beacon organisers have their own issues to deal with. The Undercliff Walk is closed, which means they have had to come up with a new route that loops twice round Duke’s Mound. I’m sure they’ve worked out all the timings carefully, but I am looking forward to seeing how they’re going to stop the slow runners (like me) and proper runners getting muddled as we circle each other. It means we are absolved the run over the top to Rottingdean, which can’t be bad. Without the Undercliff, my training has involved running to Shoreham and back. On my longer runs, I might make it as far as Worthing. Just as soon as I shake these sniffles.
EastEnders, BBC1 Friday
T
here used to be a time when everything that was seen on the telly box was actually happening there and then. Not just on the news. It was like the theatre through the magic of Ally Pally as Coronation Street and Dixon Of Dock Green were broadcast around the country with every untucked shirt on display and a bout of wind risking catastrophe as it disrupted lines spoken with the Queen’s own English. Watching live telly wasn’t just about sports or voting for your next favourite reality star – everything went out in real time, and that was what you learnt your lines for. Or learnt how to ad lib in case your co-star’s memory failed them (or a Blue Peter elephant got overexcited). And then came the magic of video, pre-recording and – most importantly for Denis Norden’s Laughter File – rerecording. Everything changed.
There’s now developed a bit of a trend for going out ‘live’ just to prove that you can. ER did it in America, as Doctor Doug Ross rushed around looking flustered you could really believe the sweat that ran down the emergency room staff’s collective brow as they tried to remember the next line and who they were supposed to be married to. Since then, Coronation Street has done it, Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps has done it, and now EastEnders is doing it this coming Friday.
Historically, nothing major in a plot line has been revealed in these ‘live’ broadcasts. What if the actress decided to name someone else as her babydaddy in the big reveal – or what if she forgot who it was entirely? Or the baby just wouldn’t stop screaming? Or somone tripped over the steps of the Queen Vic and fell flat on their face? Then we step into the territory of watching, not to find out what happened next, but from a ghoulish need to spot the mistakes we all know are never deliberate. Makes me feel like one of those viewers who only watch the racing for the crashes, and more than a little bit dirty with it. The timing of this Friday’s show weighs heavily, though. Could it be that the scriptwriters actually have a little faith in their actors’ abilities to walk and say lines at the same time? With the investigation into Archie’s death closing in tighter, might there be a big reveal after all? There’re more than a few secrets in the Beale household ready to come out too, and then there’s always Syed’s big
secret that made it through his wedding, but is this the time for everything to just spill out? Unlike the live Corrie show, EastEnders will only be half an hour long. Quite enough time, though, to evict all of the aforementioned skeletons from their cupboards. Or maybe it’ll just be a masterclass from Pat on how to really make your earrings dangle like a Christmas tree ornament. We’ll just have to tune in and see. Hope they’ve got the pit stops ready. follow me on twitter
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tuesday 16 The BRIT Awards 2010 ITV1, 8pm Peter Kay hosts the music mustsee’s 30th birthday show, with performances from Lady Gaga, Lily Allen, JLS, Jay-Z, Dizzee Rascal, Kasabian, Cheryl Cole and Robbie Williams (who’s also along to pick up a gong of his own). With the star-studded nominees waiting on tenterhooks, emotional speeches are a must.
CSI Trilogy: Part 1 Five, 10pm The folk over at CSI: Miami seem just as excited as us that Dr Ray from CSI: Las Vegas has come over to give them a hand. This is Mr Laurence Fishburne, after all. But he has got a reason – a nasty choppy-uppy possible serial killer and a national crime conspiracy that has both Dr Ray and Horatio on the back foot. New York next.
The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 9pm Teens eh? One moment they’re swapping lipsticks, the next they’re falling for bloodsuckers with dangerous associates. It’s a popular story at the moment. Tonight Elena asks Stefan to the Founder’s Park dance – bless. Meanwhile Damon gives away more of the family history and snacks on Caroline.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Deadly 60 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.30 Dennis & Gnasher 8.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 9.00 Copycats 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.45 Prank Patrol 10.15 Shaun The Sheep 10.20 Shaun The Sheep 10.30 Basil’s Game Show 11.00 Animal Park - Wild On The West Coast 12.00pm Castle In The Country 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.45 2010 Winter Olympics: Highlights 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Instant Restaurant
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 Coach Trip 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Home Show 1.00 FILM: Blossoms In The Dust (1941) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders The police receive an anonymous tip-off, but will they arrest the right person? Ian’s suspicious behaviour raises questions for Lucy. 8.00 Holby City Elliot struggles to save Charlie Fairhead’s life, while Nick Jordan cannot help interfering from the sidelines. Ooh! It’s one of those one’s where Casualty meets Holby City and everyone looks a bit like they’re doing a cameo. Lovely jubbly. 9.00 Survivors Reunited and on the road, the Family travel south on the look out for a new home. They encounter a small but thriving community of survivors and decide to take up their offer of hospitality. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Having A Baby To Save My Child This film follows couples over 18 months as they take a controversial route to find cures for their critically ill children. 11.15 Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross Film review show. 11.45 The Apprentice USA 12.30am The Apprentice USA 1.10 Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.45 My Child Won’t Speak 2.35 I Hate Mum 3.25 Obama’s America 4.25 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce introduces another pick and mix of some of the Antiques Roadshow’s tastiest morsels. Yum yum yum. 7.00 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain In the final part of Andrew Marr’s national saga, Britain enters the uncharted waters of the post-Thatcher era. Many have done well during the Thatcher years but now boom is turning to bust. 8.00 2010 Winter Olympics Action from the women’s snowboard cross final, with Britain’s Zoe Gillings hoping to show the form that has brought her several World Cup medals. Come on, girl! 10.00 Muslim Driving School An insight into the lives of Muslim women learner drivers, their instructors and their families. Is Raz ready to take his wife and daughter to Mecca? It’s the day of Imrana Gathia’s driving test. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 2010 Winter Olympics Hazel Irvine hosts coverage from Vancouver. Featuring Britain’s opener in the men’s curling, the men’s ice skating short programme, and the conclusion of the women’s luge.
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale John is forced to take responsibility for the spill. Nathan is determined to sever all ties with Ryan. Shadrach remains in the doghouse. It’s the shaggy coat and beard – and the chasing of sheep. He’s very dog-like. 7.30 The Krypton Factor Ben Shephard hosts the last of the heats. Today the hopeful contestants battle it out for the remaining semi-final place. They face challenges that will test them both mentally and physically, and must also take on the punishing assault course. Don’t you just want to take a day to play on that course with no timer? Wheeeee! 8.00 The BRIT Awards 2010 See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: 8 Mile (2002) Starring Eminem, Kim Basinger, Brittany Murphy, Mekhi Phifer, Evan Jones and Omar Miller. Acclaimed musicbased drama in which a young blue-collar worker attempts to escape from his dead-end Detroit life by competing in rapping competitions. Can he hold his nerve in the dog-eatdog hip-hop community? 12.40am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.30 Loose Women 2.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Rhys is determined to put Josh in his place as they continue to argue about Hannah’s departure. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance Parenting expert Jo Frost offers no-nonsense advice and talks to specialists about difficult issues that affect modern children. 9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary filmed in a maternity ward. Sam is in labour with her first child and is finding the pain too much to bear. Meanwhile, bored Joy waits for her labour to start. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama. Mimi gets a toy boy, Billy, the Jockey football team’s star striker, but all is not as it seems. Meanwhile, Shane and Kelly encourage Patrick to get back in the dating game. 11.10 The Big Bang Theory Comedy. Sheldon is determined to get revenge against Kripke for a joke. 11.35 8 Out Of 10 Cats Topical comedy panel show. 12.25am Full Tilt Poker 1.30 World Sport 2.00 The Best Of The NBA Basketball. 2.40 Bullrun 2009 3.05 KOTV 3.30 Adventure Racing World Championships 4.25 The McCain Track And Field Show 4.50 Grudge Match 5.05 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Wild Animal ER 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 3.00 FILM: Rescuers: Stories Of Courage - Two Couples (1998) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole opens up to Aden. Liam decides to move out of Nicole’s house. Good plan. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Chinese Food In Minutes Chinese cookery show with chef Ching-He Huang. Two busy barmen want to ditch their late-night takeaways and learn some fast, fresh wok classics. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. Puts driving around The Steine into perspective. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs investigate the case of a young man who has been brutally raped and beaten. 10.00 CSI Trilogy, Part 1 See highlights. 11.00 CSI: NY New York-based spin-off of the crime drama series. Danny and Lindsay investigate a reallife Amityville horror when a family is killed in an apparent case of murdersuicide. Meanwhile, Mac and Stella are bemused by the case of a man who seems to have died twice. 12.00am NCIS 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.05 The Family Recipe 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm Football League 2.00 Test Cricket 3.00 SPL Round-Up 3.30 Netbusters 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Football’s Next Star 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Revista De La Liga 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am UEFA Champions League 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.00 Revista De La Liga 2.55 Football Asia 3.25 UEFA Champions League 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 12.30pm PGA Tour Classic 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Boots ’n’ All – The Tries 3.00 IRB Sevens 6.00 Cycling 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Football: UEFA Champions League Highlights 10.30 Ford Football Special 11.30 Test Cricket 12.30am Cycling 1.30 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am NASCAR 7.00 IRB Sevens 10.00 Boots ’n’ All - The Tries 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Bass Fishing 1.00 NASCAR 2.00 Poker 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 Boots ’n’ All – The Tries 7.00 Airsports World 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Poker 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Max Power 2.00 Close
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1.00pm Bones 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Caprica 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Lost 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Caprica
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers 9.00 Last Woman Standing 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Last Woman Standing 12.50am EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers 1.50 Coming Of Age 2.20 Vampires: Why They Bite
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hidden Histories 8.00 Oliver Postgate: A Life In Small Films 9.00 Skippy: Australia’s First Superstar 10.00 We Need Answers 10.30 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 11.00 Oliver Postgate: A Life In Small Films 12.00am Skippy: Australia’s First Superstar 1.00 Newswipe
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 American Idol: Hollywood 2 6.25 Take Me Out 7.30 The BRITs Red Carpet 2010 8.00 What Katie Did Next 9.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 10.00 The BRITs Encore 2010 11.00 The Vampire Diaries 12.00am What Katie Did Next
11.50am The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Mr Bean 8.30 Mr Bean 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.05am Reckless
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Embarrassing Teenage Bodies 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Skins 1.15 How I Met Your Mother
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 Ambreen: The Girl Boxer 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Which Way Home 11.55 Come Dine With Me 12.55am True Stories
2.00pm Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 New America’s Next Top Model 9.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 10.00 Most Haunted 11.00 Supernatural (x2) 1.00am Grey’s Anatomy 2.00 Hotel Babylon 3.05 Diet On The Dancefloor
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
2.00 Killer Tanks 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Swords: Life On The Line 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2)
3.00pm FILM: Quantum Apocalypse (2010) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) 11.50 Legend Of The Seeker 12.50am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000 (2003)
12.25pm Rio Bravo (1959) 2.50 Louisiana Purchase (1941) 4.35 The Top 10 Show 4.50 Operation Petticoat (1959) 6.55 Hellfighters (1969) 9.00 Rio Bravo (1959) 11.25 A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) 1.40am Abbott And Costello Meet The Killer Boris Karloff (1949)
12.40pm South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999) 2.20 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 4.20 Savages (1972) 6.20 I Think I Love My Wife (2007) 8.00 I’ve Loved You So Long (2008) 10.00 South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999) 11.25 In Bruges (2008)
11.00am Princess Mononoke (1997) 1.45pm At Gunpoint (1955) 3.20 Hoppity Goes To Town (1941) 4.55 The Lost World (1960) 6.50 Explorers (1985) 9.00 Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987) 10.45 Witness (1985) 12.55am Nuns On The Run (1990)
7.00am Garbo Talks (1984) 9.00 The Voyage (1973) 11.00 The Angel Levine (1970) 1.00pm The Best Man (1964) 3.00 Any Wednesday (1966) 5.45 The Spirit Of St Louis (1957) 9.00 Reversal Of Fortune (1990) 11.10 A Breed Apart (1984) 1.00am Reversal Of Fortune (1990) 3.00 Teleshopping
3.15pm The Green Green Grass (x2) 4.35 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 5.55 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.15 Yes, Minister 8.35 Porridge 9.15 Fawlty Towers 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Blackadder The Third 11.20 The Smell Of Reeves And Mortimer 12.00am Early Doors 12.40 The Royle Family
4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.45 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.45am South Park (x2) 1.45 Comedy Store
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wednesday 17 Horizon: What Makes A Genius? BBC2, 9pm Are you a comedy genius? A beer genius? Maybe a culinary genius? There aren’t that many about. Marcus du Sautoy (not a genius and proud) wants to find out if a genius is simply an extreme version of himself or something completely different – brain-wise. Interesting concept.
Desperate Housewives Channel 4, 10pm It’s hard when your friend steals your man, but what to do when he was hers first? Katherine’s having more than a bit of a wobble at losing Mike, with Bree proving a real trooper in coming to her aid. Elsewhere, Susan discovers that Julie has been keeping secrets. Really... would you tell that mother everything?
American Idol: Hollywood 3 ITV2, 8pm So... this lot have already come through the big doors screaming and waving a piece of paper as if it was Willy Wonka’s very own golden ticket, and have made their way to the Hollywood round. If they cut the mustard here they’ll be in the final 24. Tears, tantrums and guest judge Ellen DeGeneres. ‘Cos she sings, right?
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 SMart 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers This time, the remains of the Sunday roast are the starting point for Nigel. 8.00 Holby City Michael tries to convince Connie to return to Holby, but is she too happy at her new hospital? Meanwhile Penny questions her whole career when Scott makes her an amazing offer. 9.00 New Tricks Drama. Brian Lane reluctantly goes into rehab to treat his alcoholism, but a chance remark leads the rest of the UCOS team to join him as they re-investigate the death of a heroin addict at the clinic nine years earlier. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Winning dosh. Yee-hah! 10.45 Material Girl Drama series set in the fashion world. With Davina having the London press eating out of her hand, Marco whisks Ali off to Paris to sell the collection, and maybe some romance. 11.45 FILM: The Color Of Money (1986) Starring Tom Cruise, Paul Newman. Paul Newman reprises his role from The Hustler. 1.40am Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.45 Country Tracks 3.40 BBC News
6.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Dennis & Gnasher 8.40 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 9.00 Copycats 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.45 Prank Patrol 10.15 Shaun The Sheep 10.20 Shaun The Sheep 10.30 Basil’s Game Show 11.00 Animal Park – Wild On The West Coast 12.00pm Castle In The Country 12.30 Nature’s Calendar 1.00 See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 2010 Winter Olympics: Highlights 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Instant Restaurant 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 2010 Winter Olympics Clare Balding and Graham Bell introduce live coverage of the women’s downhill from Whistler Creekside, with Britain’s Chemmy Alcott looking to make a big impression. 8.30 The Hairy Bakers The Hairy Bikers, Dave Myers and Simon King take to the road to find the very best in baking in Britain. This programme looks at bread. How many of us can turn out a decent loaf? Our biking Bakers show how easy and rewarding it can be, visiting Doncaster market and baking a healthy white roll for the perfect bacon and sausage buttie... want one. 9.00 Horizon: What Makes A Genius? See highlights. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Presiding over team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding is host Frankie Boyle. Guests include former Countdown co-host Carol Vorderman, British rap star DJ Ironik, Jon McClure of Reverend and the Makers, and comedian Richard Herring. You’ll forget that you ever giggled so much. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 2010 Winter Olympics Hazel Irvine hosts coverage from Vancouver.
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.45 Will And Grace 9.15 Coach Trip 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 According To Jim 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.10 Cooking It 12.35 FILM: Air Force (1943) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Rhys feels guilty about spiking Josh’s drink so he tries frantically to contact him – but it may be too late. Dipstick. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Alex and Phillip are looking to put down some roots near Darlington and also purchase a ski chalet in the French Alps. Kisrstie and Phil are on the case to help. Hope they can ski. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay heads to America in a bid to rescue failing restaurants. Gordon visits Flamangos in New Jersey, where he tries to help mother and daughter owners Adele and Cheryl make their struggling restaurant a success. Run a book in your household to see who can guess how many times he swears in the episode. Loser does the washing up. 10.00 Desperate Housewives See highlights. 11.00 Shameless You may actually remember watching the same episode last night. Spooky that. 12.05am 4 Music: 4Music Intros: Mumford And Sons 12.10 360 Sessions 12.45 4Music Intros: Taio Cruz 12.55 4Play: Friendly Fires 1.15 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.05 Afterworld 3.30 Tower Block Of Commons 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: Have You Got What It Takes? 1.15 Wild Animal ER 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.00 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Murder Without Conviction (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Mink reveals a shocking secret. Not a coat. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Natascha: The Girl In The Cellar Documentary about Natascha Kampusch, the Austrian woman who was kidnapped at the age of ten, held in a cellar in the Viennese suburbs and escaped eight years later. In this exclusive television interview, Natascha describes life with her captor Wolfgang Prikopil, who committed suicide the day she escaped in 2006. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. A serial killer who posts footage of his crimes online engages Gibbs and the team in a murderous game of cat and mouse. 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI. The agents investigate a mysterious death at a decommissioned military airbase. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. A teenager disappears during her New York City school trip, prompting a media frenzy that threatens to engulf the detectives. 11.55 PartyPoker: The Classics 12.55am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.05 The Family Recipe 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.00 UEFA Champions League 11.30 Ford Football Special 12.30pm UEFA Champions League 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Test Cricket 3.00 UEFA Champions League 3.30 Ford Football Special 4.30 UEFA Champions League 5.00 Boots ’n’ All 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Inside The PGA Tour 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Boots ’n’ All 12.00am UEFA Champions League 12.30 Ford Football Special 1.30 UEFA Champions League 2.00 Boots ’n’ All 2.55 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.25 UEFA Champions League 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Katie suspects that Maisie is hiding something. Carl is furious when Nathan tries to buy his silence. Shadrach’s attempts to help end up causing even more trouble. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: FC Porto V Arsenal The Champions League reaches its knock-out stage and Arsene Wenger takes his Arsenal team to face Portuguese champions FC Porto. With the Premier League title looking out of reach for the Gunners, the Champions League remains the most attainable silverware this season. But Portuguese clubs traditionally pose a real threat, particularly on home soil, and Arsenal will be happy to return to the Emirates having avoided defeat. Steve Rider presents from Porto with Swansea City manager Paulo Sousa and Andy Townsend. Commentary comes from Peter Drury and Jim Beglin. Football cur-ay-zee! 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Jim Rosenthal presents a round-up of all the action as the Champions League returns for the knockout stage. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Cycling 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Poker 1.00pm British Young Carp Angling Championship 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Asian Tour Golf Show 3.00 Poker 5.00 Champions Tour Golf 6.00 Test Cricket 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Football: UEFA Champions League Highlights 10.30 Ford Football Special 11.30 Champions Tour Golf 12.30am World Golf Championship 4.30 Hyundai A League
Sky Sports 3 9.30am Asian Tour Golf Show 10.00 World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Airsports World 3.00 Cycling 4.00 World Cup Of Pool 5.00 WWE Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Airsports World 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 Boots ’n’ All 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Max Power 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 British Young Carp Angling Championship
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3.30pm The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance 9.30 Pineapple Dance Studios 10.00 FILM: Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) 12.20am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers (x3) 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Coming Of Age 12.15am Hotter Than My Daughter 12.45 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.15 EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers (x3) 4.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 4.45 Coming Of Age
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 It’s Only A Theory 8.00 Around The World In 80 Faiths 9.00 Syrian School 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 We Need Answers 11.15 It’s Only A Theory 11.45 Around The World In 80 Faiths 12.45am Syrian School 1.45 Latin Music USA 2.45 La Excelencia At The Barbican
12.30pm Nanny 911 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Popstar To Operastar 8.00 American Idol: Hollywood 3. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Passenger 57 (1993) 11.45 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 1.50am Emmerdale
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.55am Inspector Morse 2.40 Drama Trails 2.50 Film File
3.05pm Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) 11.00 The Cleveland Show 11.30 King Of The Hill 11.55 One Tree Hill 12.55am How I Met Your Mother 1.30 Scrubs (x2)
4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 My Boyfriend: The MI5 Conman 9.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 10.00 Shrink Rap 11.10 The Good Wife 12.10am Celebrity Come Dine With Me 1.10 Shrink Rap
1.00pm Nothing To Declare (x2) 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Siberian Apocalypse: Investigation X 10.00 Death Machines 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2)
3.00pm FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 FILM: Ice Twisters (2009) 10.50 Legend Of The Seeker 11.50 FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle In Paradise (2000)
1.30pm The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 3.10 Strangers On A Train (1951) 5.00 Junior Bonner (1972) 6.45 Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 9.00 How The West Was Won (1962) 11.35 Strangers On A Train (1951) 1.30am Coogan’s Bluff (1968)
10.50am Three Kings (1999) 12.50pm Burn After Reading (2008) 2.30 Hero (2002) 4.15 The Apostle (1997) 6.30 Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983) 8.20 Burn After Reading (2008) 10.00 Hero (2002) 11.45 Three Kings (1999) 12.05am Hero (2002) 1.50 Do The Right Thing (1989)
11.00am Sea Of Sand (1958) 1.00pm My Neighbour Totoro (1988) 2.45 Black Narcissus (1946) 4.50 Do Not Disturb (1965) 6.50 Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) 9.00 Aliens (1986) 12.00am The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad (1988) 1.40 Wish You Were Here (1987)
7.00am Any Wednesday (1966) 10.00 The Spirit Of St Louis (1957) 1.00pm Carson City (1952) 3.00 Invitation To A Gunfighter (1964) 5.05 Adios Sabata (1971) 7.10 The Train Robbers (1973) 9.00 Absolute Power (1997) 11.45 Star 80 (1983) 2.00am Chuck Jones: Memories Of Childhood
2.00pm My Family (x2) 3.20 As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 Porridge 5.20 Blackadder The Third 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Dinnerladies (x2) 8.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 Smack The Pony (x2) 12.20am Dinnerladies 1.00 The Royle Family
4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Grumpy Old Men 10.40 Sex And The City (x2) 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am South Park (x2)
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thursday 18 The Culture Show BBC2, 7pm Andrew Graham-Dixon takes the helm of the good ship Culture Show, meeting two-time Man Booker prize winner Peter Carey to talk about his latest novel. Meanwhile, photographer Rankin gives his thoughts on the Irving Penn retrospective, plus Jeremy Dyson and Derren Brown try to scare us with ghost stories. Woo!
Mock The Week BBC2, 9pm Ha! Ha! Point and laugh at the silly news! Na na, na-na naaa! Or maybe more sophisticated than that... by a bit. Suffice to say, sharpened comic tongues Dara O Briain, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are joined by guests Kevin Bridges, Ed Byrne and Chris Addison (left). Some booker’s on the ball there.
Secret Diary Of A Call Girl ITV2, 10pm It’s a difficult life being a call girl. So says this popular drama, but it’s not exactly flying in the face of convention to decree it so. However, this is none of your drug-addled, abusive John kind of difficulty. No, Belle doesn’t think she can have a boyfriend and her job. But Bambi seems to be balancing it alright. Hmmm.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Horrible Histories 4.35 Relic: Guardians Of The Museum 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Dennis & Gnasher 8.40 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 9.00 Copycats 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.45 Prank Patrol 10.15 Shaun The Sheep 10.20 Shaun The Sheep 10.30 Basil’s Game Show 11.00 Animal Park – Wild On The West Coast 12.00pm Castle In The Country 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.45 2010 Winter Olympics: Highlights 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Instant Restaurant
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 Animal Rescue Squad 1.15 Wild Animal ER 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Jane Doe: The Wrong Face (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.00 UEFA Champions League 11.30 Ford Football Special 12.30pm UEFA Champions League 1.00 Boots ’n’ All 2.00 Test Cricket 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 The Rugby Club 12.30am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 The Rugby Club 3.00 Sky Sports Classics 3.15 LIVE International Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders With Bianca and Ricky making their way to the church, Carol’s appearance is in danger of ruining the wedding celebrations. Meanwhile, Janine is determined to get revenge, and Stacey and Bradley have a shock announcement to make. 8.30 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace search for the country’s best amateur cook. The contestants, picked from thousands of hopeful amateurs, face three high-pressure tests to see who has the passion, skill and creativity to make it to the quarter-finals. An hour and a half of taste sensations. On the telly. Seems to be stimulating the wrong senses we thinks. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Topical debate with a panel of public figures. 11.35 FILM: The Weather Man (2005) Starring Nicolas Cage, Michael Caine, Hope Davis, Nicholas Hoult. Black comedy charting the public success but personal inadequacy of a Chicago weatherman whose success in his job contrasts with private woes. 1.10am Skiing Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.45 The Art Of Russia 2.45 Countryfile 3.40 Natural World 4.40 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Another journey through the annals of the Antiques Roadshow, hosted by Fiona Bruce. 7.00 The Culture Show See highlights. 8.00 Simon King’s Shetland Diaries Simon is enjoying the islands at their best, with 19 hours of glorious sunlight, the remarkable ‘Simmer Dim’, the Shetland word for the midnight gloaming, and a plethora of wildlife. The visit ends with a sighting of a pod of killer whales, just metres away from where he is standing. Cool. 9.00 Mock The Week See highlights. 9.30 Rab C Nesbitt Comedy. Rab finds himself at a posh supper for namesake Rabbie Burns. Rab locks horns with filth magnet Saunders McClure, a slimeball with designs on Mary’s cleaning company. 10.00 Bellamy’s People Comedy series in which spook radio presenter Bellamy speaks to ‘real’ people. Small builder, the fiercely nonMuslim Martin Hole reckons we need to adopt his version of Sharia Law, whereas self-appointed Muslim community leader Mr Khan reckons we need his version. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 2010 Winter Olympics
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Charity is tempted by a money-making opportunity. 7.30 CCTV – Cashing In On Cameras: Tonight As the number of CCTV cameras in the UK rise unchallenged and unregulated, Morland Sanders investigates some of the new ways they are being used to pay for themselves. 8.00 Emmerdale Zak blames Shadrach for Lisa’s arrest. 8.30 Coronation Street Will David’s attempts at impersonating Joe backfire? Dev and Sunita are interrogated by the annoying aunties. 9.00 The Bill Sgt Callum Stone is on his way home when he sees couple Clarinda Blake and Tim Hardacre arguing in an alley. When Tim starts to hit Clarinda, Callum goes to her defence. There’s more to this than meets the eye. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Road Warriors An uncompromising look at the lives of the men and women who have to deliver supplies to the armed forces in Afghanistan. 11.35 The Krypton Factor Ben Shephard hosts the last of the heats. 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.00 Loose Women 1.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 CCTV – Cashing In On Cameras: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00am Sali Mali 6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.15 Coach Trip 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 According To Jim 11.10 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.10 The Home Show 1.05 FILM: Torpedo Run (1958) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Theresa is miserable following her mother’s departure and angry with Jacqui for interfering. Does she not understand how McQueens work? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 My Dream Farm Experienced horticulturist Monty Don helps six families return to the land. This episode features Nick and Talitha Bailey-Brain who live near Usk in south Wales. Talitha grew up on a smallholding in Zimbabwe and yearns to recreate a little of her African past. 9.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding Documentary looking at the world of 21st-century Gypsy and Traveller weddings, where ancient traditions meet modern fashions in an ostentatious culture clash. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Guests include Celebrity Big Brother 2010 winner Alex Reid and US musician Ke$ha. Where’s Jordan? 10.50 Derren Brown: The Gathering Derren Brown does a special live performance of his magic and mindgames in front of an invited audience. 12.00am Phoneshop 12.35 4Music Intros: Codeine Velvet Club 12.40 4Music Intros: Erik Hassle 12.50 Daredevils: Iceman 1.50 FILM: Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis Of Evil (2006) 3.25 Tower Block Of Commons 4.20 The Bible: A History 5.15 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Geoff breaks up with Ruby. Romeo and Xavier struggle to deal with Mink’s revelations. Colleen comforts Leah. In her own squawky way. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action as Liverpool host Unirea Urziceni in the Round of 32. Liverpool make their bow in the competition with Rafa Benitez in desperate need of some silverware. Presented by Colin Murray with Pat Nevin and Stan Collymore. Commentary comes from Dave Woods and Graham Taylor. So many people involved, and then there’s yer dad with his own commentary sitting next to you on the sofa. Get in. 10.10 FILM: Cobra (1986) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Nick Angotti, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson, Lee Garlington, Art La Fleur and Brigitte Nielsen. Hard-hitting action tale about a super-tough LA cop on the warpath, who singlehandedly confronts a vicious group of bikers. En route, he relieves the crazed biker leader of an attractive model, who promptly falls in love with him. Fancy. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.05 The Family Recipe 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 World Golf Championship 1.00pm Champions Tour Golf 2.00 World Golf Championship 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Race World 12.00am Rolex FEI World Cup Show Jumping 1.00 World Golf Championship
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 11.00am Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Snow Ride 1.30 Total Rugby 2.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 WWE Special 6.00 Test Cricket 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Special 2.00 Darts: Premier League
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
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BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
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Living
2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your TenYear-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Two And A Half Men 9.00 Bones 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Hotter Than My Daughter 9.00 Dancing On Wheels 10.00 EastEnders 11.00 The Real Hustle Undercover 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Dancing On Wheels 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Hotter Than My Daughter
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 Light Fantastic 9.00 The Great Offices Of State 10.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 10.30 FILM: Yella (2007) 11.55 BBC Four Sessions 12.55am Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 1.25 Latin Music USA 2.25 Later Latin 3.25 The Great Offices Of State
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 American Idol: Top 24 Picked 9.00 What Katie Did Next 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl. See highlights. 10.35 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 12.40am Coronation Street
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Numb3rs 10.55 FILM: Anna Karenina (1997) 1.05am Inspector Morse 2.40 Drama Trails 2.50 Film File
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Skins 11.05 Glee 12.05am How I Met Your Mother
2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 Young, Angry And White 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Closer 12.00am The Good Wife 1.00 Brothers And Sisters
1.00pm Nothing To Declare (x2) 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Medium 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Extreme Engineering 10.00 Swords: Life On The Line 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 1.00 Siberian Apocalypse
2.00pm Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 FILM: Robin Hood: Beyond Sherwood (2009) 10.50 Dollhouse 11.50 Legend Of The Seeker 12.50am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space (1994)
7.05am Dante’s Inferno (1935) 8.45 The Movie Geek 9.15 Patton (1970) 12.10pm The Hustler (1961) 2.25 Sorry, Wrong Number (1948) 4.15 The Nutty Professor (1963) 6.10 Patton (1970) 9.00 The Hustler (1961) 11.15 Catch-22 (1970) 1.20am A Lovely Way To Die (1968)
9.00am Bart Got A Room (2008) 10.30 Badlands (1973) 12.20pm Julia (2008) 2.45 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 4.40 The Movie Geek 5.10 Tube Tales (1999) 6.50 Bart Got A Room (2008) 8.20 Badlands (1973) 10.00 Julia (2008) 12.25am Girl 6 (1996) 2.15 Magnolia (1999)
11.00am The Straight Story (1999) 1.10pm Jane Eyre (1944) 3.05 Nausicaa: Valley Of The Wind (1984) 5.25 The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 7.00 Three Men And A Baby (1987) 9.00 The War Of The Roses (1989) 11.15 The Accused (1988) 1.25am My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) 3.30 Close
6.55am Invitation To A Gunfighter (1964) 8.45 Adios Sabata (1971) 11.00 The Train Robbers (1973) 1.00pm Once Upon A Crime (1992) 3.00 Fluke (1995) 5.00 Eight Men Out (1988) 7.25 The Oklahoman (1957) 9.00 Babette’s Feast (1987) 11.10 Bananas (1971) 12.55am Babette’s Feast (1987)
12.40pm Steptoe And Son (x2) 2.00 The Brittas Empire (x2) 3.20 Keeping Up Appearances (x2) 4.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Steptoe And Son (x2) 8.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Fawlty Towers 10.40 Men Behaving Badly 11.20 Game On 12.00am Porridge
4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 FILM: Scary Movie 3 (2003) 11.45 Sex And The City (x2) 12.55am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.55 South Park (x2)
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friday 19 Popstar To Operastar ITV1, 9pm It’s the final, so reach for those top Cs and put a large wallop of je ne sais quoi into those performances. The two remaining contestants pit it out for the title, with one of them hotly tipped to rhyme with ‘Bolon’. Each will do an aria (solo song) and sing a duet with one of the mentors. It’s down to viewers’ votes. Get dialling.
The Mentalist Five, 9pm Patrick Jane is back, working with the CBI but throwing a bit of a strop because he’s been taken of the Red John case. Well, it was a tad personal to him what with it being the serial killer that did his family in. Anyway, this second series kicks off with Lisbon determined not to take any more of his hoo-hahs. Can it last?
EastEnders Live: The Aftermath BBC3, 8.30pm So... now we know who killed Archie, and George Lamb is live on the set getting the cast and crew’s reactions to the information – and doing their first ever live show. Practically theatre, that was! A right old nosey behind the preparations are also in order. Nice one.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 ROY 4.35 Gastronuts 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Dennis & Gnasher 8.40 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 9.00 Copycats 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.45 Prank Patrol 10.10 Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest 11.00 Animal Park – Wild On The West Coast 12.00pm Castle In The Country 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.45 2010 Winter Olympics: Highlights 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Instant Restaurant
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am Sali Mali 6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 Coach Trip 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.10 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Home Show 1.05 FILM: Cry Havoc (1944) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Coach Trip 5.30 Jamie At Home
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.35pm Five News 12.45 Animal Rescue Squad 1.15 Wild Animal ER 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Zoo Days 3.00 FILM: A Risk Worth Taking (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00pm The Rugby Club 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 LIVE International Twenty20 Cricket 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.30am Super League 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Football League Weekend 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 World Sport
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Quiz. 8.00 EastEnders Live A live episode of EastEnders which sees the residents of Walford enjoying Ricky and Bianca’s wedding reception, and which culminates in the reveal of Archie’s killer. See Telly Talk. 8.30 QI Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry goes all Gothic, with help from Sue Perkins, Jimmy Carr, Jack Dee and Alan Davies. The make-up lady may be running out of the black eyeliner. 9.00 MasterChef More tasty competing. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan’s guests are: actor Colin Farrell, Russian supermodel Natalia Vodianova, comedian Jason Manford and rapper Jay-Z. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Dosh. Maybe. 11.45 FILM: Weird Science (1985) Starring Anthony Hall, Kelly LeBrock, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Bill Paxton. A zany fantasy in which a dream comes true for two teenagers. ‘80s classic. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Seven Ages Of Britain 2.20 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.20 Horizon: To Infinity And Beyond 4.20 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce introduces more priceless moments from the treasure trove of the Antiques Roadshow’s archive. 7.00 2010 Winter Olympics Clare Balding and Kerrin Lee-Gartner present coverage of the men’s super-G from Whistler. Commentators are Matt Chilton and Graham Bell. 9.00 Mastercrafts Under Monty Don’s watchful eye three hopefuls who are passionate about learning to thatch are put through their paces by the country’s leading practitioners. Stop that tittering at the back! 10.00 The Bubble New comedy news-quiz which plays on the fact that some news stories are so hard to believe you’d think they’d been made up. Each week three celebs are locked away in a media-free zone for four days. When they’re brought out, they’re shown a series of media stories. All they have to do is identify the true ones from the fakes. Simple! Show one guests are: Frank Skinner, Reginald D Hunter and Victoria Coren. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of news. 11.00 The Review Show Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Kirsty Wark. 11.40 2010 Winter Olympics
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel realises that it is make or break time for her marriage. 7.30 Coronation Street Joe’s debts come back to haunt Tina, but will it force Gail to reveal everything? 8.00 Dancing On Ice Friday Preview show presented by Ben Shephard and Coleen Nolan. Dancing On Ice has just passed the halfway mark, so Ben and Coleen invite some celebrity critics to give mid-term reports on the stars’ progress. 8.30 Coronation Street A furious Eileen confronts a confused Jesse. Isn’t he always? 9.00 Popstar To Operastar See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The BRITs Backstage Join Peter Andre for an access all areas backstage pass to the most exciting event in the music industry calendar – The BRIT Awards 2010. 11.05 FILM: Gremlins (1984) Starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates. Comedy horror about a placid small town brought to its knees by an infestation of destructive small creatures with a vicious sense of humour. ‘80s classic. 1.00am FILM: Undercover Brother (2002) 2.25 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tom’s gerbil gets stuck in a pipe, as does Dom when he tries to rescue it. Cue rolling around the floor laughing at the big man in the small pipe. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 The Stuttering School The First Cut crew follow two people with severe stammers as they attend an intensive four-day course in a bid to overcome their affliction. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Pregnant Nikki and partner Alfredo weigh up the merits of Bath and the Italian city of Lucca. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies The doctors are in Brighton, where their cases range from a bleeding anus to pus-filled tonsils. Christian also meets a patient who wants an authentic replacement nipple following breast cancer surgery. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Panel show. 10.50 Rude Tube 11.50 Vampire Weekend: Video Exclusive 11.55 Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions The xx perform. 12.15am 4 Music: The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment 12.50 4Music Intros: Dionne Bromfield 12.55 4Music Intros 1.00 Octomom: Me And My 14 Kids 1.55 FILM: Taxi (2004) 3.30 Tower Block Of Commons 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Liam moves in with Martha. Miles tries to help Leah deal with her agoraphobia. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Building The Ultimate This edition investigates the processes behind the design and construction of the ultimate Formula One racing car. Does a good ‘vrooooOOOOOooom’? 8.00 Austin Stevens Adventures Wildlife adventure series with Austin Stevens. The intrepid photographer heads to the Serengeti plains to pit his wits against the ultimate predator. Austin’s challenge is to capture an image of a lion on the hunt – but it is not going to be easy. Nice pussy cat. Saucer of milk? 9.00 The Mentalist See highlights. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series following the work of the Major Case Unit. The slaying of a young computer company employee has Goren and Eames poking around the murky world of IT security. It is very murky. No good lighting at all. 11.00 CSI Trilogy, Part 1 Another chance to catch Tuesday’s crossover. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 Wildlife SOS 4.50 Animal Rescue 5.05 The Family Recipe 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Rugby Club 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.00 World Golf Championship 3.00pm LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 International Twenty20 Cricket 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 World Golf Championship 5.00 NFL - Total Access
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 Snow Ride 10.30 Darts: Premier League 2.00pm The Dogs 2.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 WWE Special 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 International Cricket 9.00 International Twenty20 Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 International Cricket 2.00 International Twenty20 Cricket 3.00 Tight Lines 4.00 Super League 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 The Real A & E 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 UK Border Force 9.00 Lost 10.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10.30 Modern Family 11.00 Road Wars (x2) 1.00am Ross Kemp On Gangs
7.00pm Top Gear 8.05 Outtakes: US Presidents 8.30 Eastenders Live: The Aftermath. See highlights. 9.30 Being Human 10.30 EastEnders Live 11.00 Eastenders Live: The Aftermath 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 Coming Of Age 1.15 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 2.15 Being Human
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tchaikovsky’s Women 8.40 Folk America At The Barbican: Seasick Steve 9.00 Latin Music USA 10.00 Top Of The Pops 2 Goes Latin 10.30 Skippy: Australia’s First Superstar 11.30 FILM: The Adventures Of Barry McKenzie (1972) 1.15am Latin Music USA
12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.35 Dancing On Ice 7.30 Dancing On Ice - The Skate-Off 8.00 The Vampire Diaries 9.00 FILM: The Island (2005) 11.40 Coronation Street (x2) 12.40am What Katie Did Next 1.45 Emmerdale
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Pie In The Sky 9.00 Doc Martin 10.00 Kingdom 11.00 FILM: Stepmom (1998) 1.30am Inspector Morse 3.10 On The Buses 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 How I Met Your Mother 12.25am Scrubs (x2)
2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 My Daughter Amy 9.00 FILM: Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.45 Heroes Of Comedy 12.50am FILM: Clear And Present Danger (1994)
1.00pm Nothing To Declare (x2) 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x3) 1.00 Hotel Babylon 2.05 Diet On The Dancefloor
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2.00pm Weapons Of Combat 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Hitler - A Profile 10.00 World War I In Colour 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2)
3.00pm FILM: Robin Hood: Beyond Sherwood (2009) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 Legend Of The Seeker 10.00 Legend Of The Seeker 11.00 Legend Of The Seeker 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle And The Art Of Love (2000)
7.25am In Like Flint (1967) 9.25 Georgy Girl (1966) 11.10 The Conqueror (1956) 1.10pm Modesty Blaise (1966) 3.20 Notorious (1946) 5.10 Our Man Flint (1966) 7.00 In Like Flint (1967) 9.00 Modesty Blaise (1966) 11.05 Georgy Girl (1966) 2.40am The Conqueror (1956)
12.40pm Shine A Light (2008) 2.45 What Just Happened (2008) 4.30 Rumble Fish (1983) 6.10 I’m Not There (2007) 8.25 Margot At The Wedding (2007) 10.00 What Just Happened (2008) 11.50 Waltz With Bashir (2008) 1.30am Rumble Fish (1983) 3.20 Shine A Light (2008)
11.00am The Maverick Queen (1956) 12.45pm Porco Rosso (1992) 2.40 The Seven Year Itch (1955) 4.40 Revenge Of The Pink Panther (1978) 6.35 A Room With A View (1986) 9.00 Footloose (1984) 11.05 Black Rain (1989) 1.25am Witness (1985)
6.55am Fluke (1995) 8.45 Eight Men Out (1988) 11.15 The Oklahoman (1957) 1.05pm Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 3.00 The Star (1952) 5.00 The Fortune Cookie (1966) 7.30 The Big Night (1951) 9.00 Manhattan (1979) 11.00 Movers And Shakers (1985) 12.45am Manhattan (1979) 3.00 Teleshopping
3.20pm As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Yes, Prime Minister (x2) 8.40 Porridge 9.20 Fawlty Towers 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Little Britain 11.20 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am The Royle Family
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 Chris Rock: Bigger And Blacker 12.30am The Office: An American Workplace
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saturday 20 Let’s Dance For Sports Relief BBC1, 6.30pm Can anyone forget the fantastic impression Robert Webb made last year with his Flashdance rendition? A true YouTube phenomenon. Claudia Winkleman and Steve Jones host this year's offerings from comics, actors and sports personalities trying to make a similar splash. Set videos.
CSI Trilogy Five, 9.25pm It’s the second part of the trilogy and after Tuesday’s business Dr Ray seems set to move on to New York, hot on the trail of black market organ harvesters. And that rather angular-looking rough guy we last saw dragging a lady out of the Ladies. That’s just not proper behaviour! Can Mac and the gang help him find her?
Film: Bugsy Malone Film4, 1pm Alan Parker’s song and dance kids’ extravaganza that’ll touch your heartstrings and funny bones no matter what age you are. Starring the very young Scott Baio and Jodie Foster in this gangster musical cast entirely with kids, with the very real threat of a custard pie in the face lingering round every corner.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 A Question Of Sport 1.30 Athletics: UK Indoor Grand Prix 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.20 South East Today 5.30 Total Wipeout
6.00 – 7.15am Children’s television 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.25 Leon 8.30 Jump Nation 9.30 Prank Patrol 10.00 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.30 Keep Your Enemies Close 11.00 The Slammer 11.30 My Life: Tough Kids 12.00pm Winter Olympics 2010: Highlights 2.00 The Sky At Night 2.20 Monk 3.05 FILM: Bell, Book And Candle (1958) 4.45 The Art Of Russia 5.45 Winter Olympics 2010: Women’s Super-G 7.15 A History Of Christianity Diarmaid MacCulloch examines a distinctive feature about Western Christianity – scepticism: the tendency to doubt. He challenges the simplistic notion that faith in Christianity has ebbed away before the advance of science, reason and progress, and shows instead how the tide of faith perversely flows back in. 8.15 The Virtual Revolution Dr Aleks Krotoski concludes her investigation of how the World Wide Web is transforming almost every aspect of our lives. Joined by Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Al Gore and the neuroscientist Susan Greenfield, Aleks examines the popularity of social networks and asks how they are changing our relationships. 9.15 QI XL Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry goes gothic in this extended show, with help from Sue Perkins, Jimmy Carr, Jack Dee and Alan Davies. Not a perm. 10.00 Heroes Drama series in which people deal with their newly discovered superpowers. A trip into the past may give Hiro another chance to save the love of his life. 10.45 The Bubble New comedy news quiz. Repeat of Friday’s show. 11.15 Winter Olympics 2010 Live coverage from Vancouver.
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.25 Popstar To Operastar 11.25 ITV News & Weather 11.35 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: South By Southwest (1997) 1.15pm FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 3.00 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 5.15 Meridian News And Weather 5.30 ITV News & Weather 5.45 All Star Family Fortunes
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 World Sport 7.30 Road To The 2010 FIFA World Cup 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Glee 10.25 Dave Berry’s Great British Debut Singles 11.30 Friends 11.55 Ultimate Traveller 1.00pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.05 Three Hungry Boys 4.35 Come Dine With Me 5.10 Come Dine With Me 5.40 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Europa League Football Highlights 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Chinese Food In Minutes 12.30 Wild Animal ER 1.00 Zoo Days 1.15 FILM: 40 Guns To Apache Pass (1967) 3.05 FILM: Blood Alley (1955) 5.25 Five News 5.30 FILM: The Professionals (1966)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 Live Super League 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.30 New You’ve Been Framed! More footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones. 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp More laughs as the big-collared comic tears through the week’s funniest TV. 7.30 Take Me Out It is the final week and Paddy McGuinness has one last chance to match up the 30 single girls. What exactly are Paddy’s credentials for taking on such a responsibility? We want to see a matchmaking CV! 8.45 All Star Mr & Mrs Boxing legend Barry McGuigan and his wife Sandra, Corrie star Simon Gregson and his fiancée Emma, and TV presenter Suzi Perry and her husband Bastien see who knows the most about their respective other half in a bid to win £30,000 for their charity. 9.45 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) Starring Owen Wilson, Matt Dillon, Kate Hudson and Michael Douglas. Chaotic comedy. Newlyweds Carl and Molly are settling in to enjoy their lives together when their marital bliss is shattered by the arrival of Carl’s freewheeling best friend Dupree. 10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) The dude is STILL there. 12.05am FILM: Around The Bend (2004) 1.35 Six Degrees 2.20 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.10 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which five contestants throw dinner parties for one another. Australian sales rep Jarrod Pepper attempts to cook crocodile and prawn kebabs followed by roasted kangaroo. I’m A Celeb’s not on by accident is it? 6.40 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality competition. First class flight attendant Sam Hughes is determined to reach for the skies when it is her turn to host. 7.10 Channel 4 News 7.40 Waking The Baby Mammoth An almost perfectly-preserved infant woolly mammoth is discovered by a remote Siberian river, 37,000 years after she first came to rest there. New light on life in the Ice Age. 9.15 FILM: Mission: Impossible III (2006) Starring Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Michelle Monaghan, Ving Rhames. Fast-paced action sequel. The former head of the Impossible Mission Force is dragged out of retirement when an old friend is kidnapped by a psychotic arms dealer. Is there any other kind? 11.35 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Guests include Celebrity Big Brother 2010 winner Alex Reid and US musician Ke$ha. 12.25am FILM: 15 Minutes (2001) 2.30 The War At Home 2.50 St Elsewhere 3.40 Scrapheap Challenge 4.40 British Made 4.50 Countdown 5.35 Yo Gabba Gabba
7.30 NCIS Drama series based on the work of the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. A routine murder investigation soon becomes personal when Abby is nearly killed, making it clear that someone staged the initial crime in order to lure her into a trap. They should’ve just put lots of black make-up, tattoo designs and caffeine into a big box with its lid up for her. 8.25 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation US drama series about a team of forensic investigators. Skateboarders find a man’s body lying on the concrete – but how did it get there? Did he fall from a building, commit suicide, or something more sinister? Not that those two aren’t nasty enough, by the way. 9.25 CSI Trilogy See highlights. 10.25 Law And Order American drama series about cops and lawyers. Green and Fontana race against time to locate a five-year-old girl abducted in broad daylight. When captured, the kidnapper refuses to reveal the child’s whereabouts – forcing McCoy to consider an unconscionable deal. 11.25 Crime Scene Academy Documentary following a class of students at the ten-week masterclass for CSIs at the National Forensic Academy in Knoxville, Tennessee. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 World Sport 7.30 Friday Fight Night 9.30 World Golf Championship 1.30pm LIVE International Twenty20 Cricket 5.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 8.00 International Twenty20 Cricket 10.00 Scottish Premier League 10.30 Premiership Rugby Union 11.30 NFL Total Access 12.30am Super League 2.00 Spanish Football 3.30 Scottish Premier League 4.00 International Twenty20 Cricket
6.30 Let’s Dance For Sport Relief See highlights. 7.45 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time in a bid to win a big money jackpot. If we knew where and when that was, surely it’d be uncomfortably crowded. Ow, my toe! 8.35 Casualty A handsome stranger makes an impression on May and Jordan. Adam is forced to face up to his grief, and Zoe feels the effects of the morning after the night before. 9.25 The Weakest Link: EastEnders Special Anne Robinson presents a special EastEnders edition of the quick-fire general knowledge quiz. Faa-aaamily! I’m yer muvver! Riiiiickyyyyyy! Add your own here. 10.20 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the day’s matches in the Premier League. Reigning champions Manchester United will aim to do the double over Everton when they visit Goodison Park. 11.45 The Football League Show Match highlights. Newcastle United and Nottingham Forest, the two powerhouses of the Championship in 2009/10, are both in action. 1.00am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.00 Weatherview 2.05 BBC News
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Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 Super League 8.30 WWE Special 9.30 WWE Smackdown 11.30 WWE The Bottom Line 12.30pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Elimination Chamber Preview 1.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 3.30 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 4.30 Premiership Rugby Union 5.30 Football: UEFA Champions League
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2.00pm The Real A & E 3.00 Fat Families 4.00 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 5.00 Got To Dance: Live Final 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 8.30 The Simpsons... Mischief And Mayhem 9.00 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 10.40 Fringe 11.40 NCIS: LA 12.40am Road Wars
7.00pm The Real Hustle Undercover 7.30 Top Gear 8.35 FILM: Sweet Home Alabama (2002) 10.20 EastEnders: The Greatest Cliffhangers 11.20 Family Guy 11.40 American Dad! (x2) 12.25 Jay-Z: Live From Madison Square Garden 1.10 The Real Hustle Undercover 1.40 Snog Marry Avoid?
7.00pm Life 8.00 Indian Hill Railways 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Nurse Jackie 10.55 The Armstrong And Miller Show 11.25 The Thick Of It 11.55 Latin Music USA 12.55am Leeds International Piano Competition 2009 1.55 BBC Proms 2009: Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony
1.30pm The BRITs Red Carpet 2010 2.00 The BRIT Awards 2010 4.00 American Idol: Hollywood 3 6.00 American Idol: Top 24 Picked 7.00 FILM: Arthur (1981) 9.00 FILM: ScoobyDoo (2002) 10.45 FILM: American Pie 3: American Wedding (2003) 12.35am Harry Hill’s TV Burp 1.05 The Vampire Diaries
1.25pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.35 Pie In The Sky 3.40 Agatha Christie’s Marple 5.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Taggart 10.30 Trial And Retribution 12.35am Prime Suspect 2.25 On The Buses 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
12.40pm Heartland 1.35 Privileged 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (x5) 11.25 FILM: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) 1.15am Supernanny 2.10 Gok’s Fashion Fix
12.30pm Time Team 1.35 FILM: Broken Arrow (1950) 3.25 Kitchen Pharmacy 3.40 Grand Designs (x2) 5.55 Grand Designs Revisited 7.00 Grand Designs (x2) 9.15 The Queen 10.20 Strike: When Britain Went To War 12.30am Brighton Bomb 1.35 The Queen 2.40 Brighton Bomb
1.00pm Four Weddings (x5) 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x4) 6.00 FILM: Drop Dead Fred (1991) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 Most Haunted: The Live Series 11.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 12.00am Medium 1.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 2.00 Dirty Dancing: The Time Of Your Life 3.00 Exposed: The Osbournes
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1.00pm Weapons That Made Britain (x4) 5.00 SAS 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 8.00 How It’s Made (x2) 9.00 Christianity: A History 10.00 Death Machines 11.00 Siberian Apocalypse: Investigation X 12.00am Nostradamus - The Truth 1.00 Hitler - A Profile 2.00 World War I In Colour
12.00pm Legend Of The Seeker (x3) 3.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (x4) 7.00 A Town Called Eureka 8.00 FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 9.50 FILM: Ice Twisters (2009) 11.50 Heroes 12.50am Heroes (x3) 3.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 4.00 Angel (x2)
1.00pm Steptoe And Son (1972) 2.40 Guns Of August (1964) 4.20 David Copperfield (1970) 6.20 Paint Your Wagon (1969) 9.00 Steptoe And Son (1972) 10.40 Guns Of August (1964) 12.25am Compulsion (1959) 2.10 Giant (1956) 5.25 The Front Page (1974)
1.10pm Being John Malkovich (1999) 3.10 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 5.40 Youth Without Youth (2007) 8.00 How To Lose Friends And Alienate People (2008) 10.00 The Big Lebowski (1998) 12.05am Being John Malkovich (1999) 2.00 Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983)
12.55pm Lovely Bones Special 1.00 Bugsy Malone (1976). See highlights. 2.50 Brief Encounter (1945) 4.30 Whisper Of The Heart (1995) 6.45 Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) 8.55 Lovely Bones Special 9.00 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) 11.05 Planes, Trains &Automobiles (1987) 12.50am Aliens (1986)
8.25am The Fortune Cookie (1966) 11.00 The Big Night (1951) 1.00pm Jack Frost (1998) 3.00 The Aviator (1985) 5.05 Sayonara (1957) 8.05 The Screening Room 9.00 Stigmata (1999) 11.05 Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) 12.50am Stigmata (1999) 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Jack Frost (1998)
8.40am Last Of The Summer Wine 9.20 Only Fools And Horses (x16) 10.00 Jonathan Creek 11.05 Comedy Map Of Britain 12.10am My Family 12.50 My Family 1.30 Comedy Map Of Britain 2.25 Blackadder II 2.50 Close Up 3.00 Home Shopping
11.30am Scrubs (x14) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x4) 9.00 Dara O Briain Live At The Theatre Royal 10.20 Jeff Dunham: Spark Of Insanity 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 South Park (x2) 2.05 Comedy Store 2.35 Two And A Half Men 3.05 Scrubs (x2) 4.00 Shortcuts Shuffle (x2)
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sunday 21 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.45pm There are eight celebrity ice dancers left and you can bet your remote control they’ve got quite a collection of sprains and bruises this week as they pushed the envelope in their bids to be the best. Did you see them practise twirling in crash helmets?! It’s dangerous stuff, but grim determination will conquer.
The British Academy Film Awards BBC1, 9pm Jonathan Ross hosts the BAFTAs at the Royal Opera House in London – suitably impressive surroundings for these prestigious awards. Watch celebs on the edge of their seats, thrilled to win or frozen in disappointment. Plus tips as to what to see at the flicks next.
Snog Marry Avoid? BBC3, 7pm Round off your weekend with a look at what you could’ve looked like, had you the time, inclination and a gallon of fake tan. Jenny Frost presents the make-under show in which OTT girls are given a dressing down and dressed up in a more demure outfit than the one they came in with. Especially scantily clad Petagay. Put it away!
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6.00am Breakfast 7.45 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.45 Match Of The Day Live: Bristol City V West Bromwich Albion 4.05 Murder, She Wrote 4.50 Lifeline 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today
6.00am Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Basil Brush Show 8.05 Jinx 8.25 Leon 8.30 Dani’s House 9.00 Tracy Beaker Returns 9.30 Spirit Warriors 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Gardener’s World 12.00pm Winter Olympics 2010: Highlights 1.35 EastEnders 4.00 Eastenders Live: The Aftermath 5.00 Natural World
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.00pm ITV News & Weather 12.05 FILM: Holiday On The Buses (1974) 1.45 Columbo: Columbo Cries Wolf 3.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.50 Meridian News And Weather
6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 The Brain Cell 7.25 The Aviva World Indoor Trials And UK Championships 8.55 The Hills 9.25 Friends 9.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Ultimate Traveller 1.35 Friends 2.05 The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment 2.40 90210 3.35 The Simpsons 4.10 The Simpsons 4.40 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Glee
6.00am Scottish Premier League 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.00am Spanish Football 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 Sunshine Tour Golf
6.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine show. Jeremy, Richard and James enter a 24-hour endurance race in what turns out to be one of their toughest challenges to date. James tries the new Fiat 500 on the mean streets of Budapest, and the Ferrari 430 Scuderia hammers around the test track. 7.00 The Banded Brothers As far as our research can discover, this is a nature programme about mongooses. Or Speilberg’s epic war series with a typo. Your call. 8.00 Winter Olympics 2010 Clare Balding, Kerrin Lee-Gartner and Alain Baxter host live coverage from Vancouver. The first ever Olympic ski cross final should be one to savour with head-to-head racing on a Cypress Mountain course with turns, bumps, jumps and rolls. Commentators are Ed Leigh and Graham Bell. The men’s giant slalom boasts some great recent winners, including Alberto Tomba and Hermann Maier. Who will join them in the record books today? With commentary from Matt Chilton. 10.15 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles with the weekend’s Premier League action, including highlights from Sunday’s matches. 11.25 Winter Olympics 2010 Hazel Irvine hosts live coverage from Vancouver. 4.00am The Super League Show
6.00 ITV News; Weather 6.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s show. Just in case you missed it. 6.45 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.30 Wild At Heart With matters between him and Alice still tense, a distracted Danny makes a fatal mistake while treating a rare black leopard. When the big cat dies, its owner insists that Danny is investigated for malpractice. Hearing the bad news, Du Plessis decides to look into the matter in order to exonerate his friend. 9.30 Dancing On Ice - The SkateOff Tensions are running high because one couple will soon be leaving the ice for good. That’s what a skate-off is. When the bottom two compete again to see who goes home. If there was no tension you’d think they just didn’t understand the whole show’s premise. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 FILM: Rumor Has It (2005) Starring Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine. Romantic comedy following a woman’s quest to discover if there is any truth to the local legend that her parents inspired the story for The Graduate. 12.05am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.25 FILM: Alien Siege (2005) 2.55 Dating The Enemy 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 – 8.30am Chilren’s television 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Hannah Montana 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Zoo Days 11.25 The Gadget Show 11.35 Ice Road Truckers 12.35pm FILM: Mister Roberts (1955) 2.55 FILM: Firecreek (1968) 4.55 Five News 5.00 FILM: Donald Duck Winter Storage (1949) 5.05 FILM: Mulan 2 (2004) 6.40 FILM: Happy Gilmore (1996) Starring Adam Sandler, Christopher McDonald, Julie Bowen, Frances Bay, Carl Weathers and Allen Covert. Zany comedy about a violent underachiever who discovers that he has a talent for playing golf. 8.30 FILM: The Wedding Singer (1998) Starring Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Christine Taylor, Allen Covert, Alexis Arquette, Jon Lovitz and Steve Buscemi. Romantic comedy about a failed songwriter-turnedsinger who makes a living on the wedding circuit in the 1980s. After being jilted at his own wedding, he becomes disillusioned about romance, but his spirits are soon lifted by a waitress who works at the same events. Fancy that. 10.30 FILM: The House On Haunted Hill (1999) Starring Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Chris Kattan and Ali Larter. Remake of the 1950s horror in which a millionaire offers a large sum of money to anyone who can spend a night in a creepy mansion that was once an asylum for the insane. Woo hoo hoo hoooooo! 12.15am Lockdown 1.15 SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00 Countryfile Julia Bradbury and Matt Baker explore the wetlands known as the Somerset Levels and visit the limestone cliffs of Cheddar Gorge. Sounds like a cheese feast. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team visit a packed Leeds Town Hall for another busy day of valuations. Among the items intriguing the experts are a valuable diamond brooch left as security for an unpaid off-licence bill, and a 15th century spoon found by a builder while digging a trench. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. The locals are rehearsing for their annual production of St George and the Dragon when they hear rumours that Sir Timothy has returned. They are thrilled at the prospect of performing it for the squire, but with the play approaching and no sign of Sir Timothy, Dorcas decides to pay him a visit. 9.00 The British Academy Film Awards See highlights. 11.00 BBC News 11.15 South East Today 11.25 FILM: For Your Consideration (2006) Starring Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy and Harry Shearer. Satirical comedy. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Horizon: What Makes A Genius? 1.50 Holby City 2.50 Holby City 3.50 History Of Now: The Story Of The Noughties 4.50 BBC News
6.25 Channel 4 News 6.55 The Bible: A History Seven figures from around the world offer their interpretations of the Bible and what it means to them. 7.55 FILM: Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) Starring Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon and Kerry Washington. Action adventure sequel featuring the comic book quartet endowed with a host of magical powers. Preparations for the superhero nuptials of Reed Richards and Sue Storm are interrupted by the arrival of a mysterious metallic menace. There’s always one. 9.40 FILM: Predator (1987) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Elpidia Carrillo, Bill Duke. Hi-tech action fantasy about an alien predator encountered by a unit of crack commandos on a rescue mission deep in the dense jungles of South America. Now you see him... 11.45 FILM: Dawn Of The Dead (2004) Starring Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Mekhi Phifer and Ty Burrell. Remake of the original ‘70s satirical horror. Chaos ensues after a plague turns people into flesheating, bloodthirsty zombies. 1.45am The Closer 2.30 St Elsewhere 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Dispatches: Kids Don’t Count 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Treacle People
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Super League 7.30 World Golf Championship 11.30 Seamaster Sailing 12.00pm The Super 14 Show 2.00 Premiership Rugby Union 3.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Sunshine Tour Golf 12.30am Cricket: Twenty20 International 2.30 International Cricket 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 This Week In WWE 7.30 LIVE Cricket: Twenty20 International 10.30 LIVE International Cricket 5.00pm Cricket: Twenty20 International 7.00 International Cricket 8.00 WWE Elimination Chamber Preview 8.30 WWE Special 9.30 This Week In WWE 10.00 WWE Elimination Chamber Preview 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am WWE Elimination Chamber Preview 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Close
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1.00pm The Simpsons... Mischief And Mayhem 1.30 Futurama (x3) 3.00 Bones 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 7.00 Best Of Got To Dance 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 24 10.00 House 11.00 Bones (x2) 1.00 Pineapple Dance Studios
7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid?. See highlights. 7.30 The British Academy Film Awards: Red Carpet 8.00 Last Woman Standing 9.00 Being Human 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy 11.10 American Dad! (x2) 11.55 Being Human 12.55am Coming Of Age 1.25 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.55 Last Woman Standing
7.00pm Getting Our Way 8.00 The Great Offices Of State 9.00 Indian Hill Railways 10.00 Legends: The Dankworths 11.00 Mad Men 11.45 The Most Dangerous Man In America: Storyville 1.15am The Great Offices Of State 2.15 Mad Men 3.00 Getting Our Way
4.40pm All Star Mr & Mrs 5.40 Dancing On Ice - The Skate-Off 6.15 Dancing On Ice Friday 6.45 FILM: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) 8.30 What Katie Did Next 9.30 The Vampire Diaries 10.30 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 11.00 Dancing On Ice 12.45am Dancing On Ice The Skate-Off
1.25pm Inspector Morse 3.30 FILM: Carry On Cruising (1962) 5.15 Mr Bean 5.50 Mr Bean 6.25 Rising Damp 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Pale Horse 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.00 Cracker (x2) 1.10 FILM: Immortal Beloved (1994) 3.10 On The Buses 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
12.50pm Roswell 1.40 Reaper 2.45 FILM: Grease (1978) 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Being Erica 11.55 Samantha Who? (x2) 12.55 Supernanny 1.50 Gok’s Fashion Fix 2.45 Samantha Who? 3.10 Switched
12.45pm Scrapheap Challenge 1.50 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 The TV Book Club 8.00 River Cottage Spring 9.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip 10.10 Revenge Of The Bin Men 11.15 Father Ted 11.45 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.50 Curb Your Enthusiasm
1.00pm So You Think You Can Dance (x2) 3.00 FILM: Drop Dead Fred (1991) 5.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 6.00 Changing Faces: Posh And Becks 7.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 8.00 Medium 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Supernatural 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 1.00 New America’s Next Top Model
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
2.00pm How Do They Do It? (x2) 3.00 How It’s Made (x2) 4.00 Extreme Engineering 5.00 Storm Chasers (x2) 7.00 Swords: Life On The Line 8.00 How It’s Made (x2) 9.00 Monsters Inside Me 10.00 Cosmic Collisions 11.00 Destroyed In Seconds 11.30 Destroyed In Seconds 12.00am American Chopper
1.00pm Lost City Raiders 3.00 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Lost Treasure Of Ugarit (2008) 5.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x4) 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: Riddles Of The Sphinx (2008) 11.50 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Star Of Heaven (2008) 1.50am Heroes 3.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 4.00 Angel (x2)
11.10am Indiscreet (1958) 12.50pm Marnie (1964) 3.00 Rio Bravo (1959) 5.30 Apache (1954) 7.00 The Searchers (1956) 9.00 Rio Bravo (1959) 11.25 The St Valentine’s Day Massacre (1967) 1.10am Marnie (1964) 3.20 Arabesque (1966) 5.10 The Out-ofTowners (1970)
1.15pm Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 3.00 The Apostle (1997) 5.15 The Movie Geek 5.45 Into The Wild (2007) 8.20 Once (2006) 10.00 In Bruges (2008) 12.00am South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999) 1.30 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 3.15 The Apostle (1997)
11.00am The Lost World (1960) 12.55pm Lovely Bones Special 1.00 Princess Mononoke (1997) 3.45 Gulliver’s Travels (1939) 5.15 The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 6.45 Lovely Bones Special 6.55 Romancing The Stone (1984) 9.00 Top Gun (1986) 11.10 Black Widow (1986) 1.10am The Accused (1988) 3.25 Close
12.00pm The Screening Room 1.05 Another Woman (1988) 3.00 The Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970) 6.00 Mad City (1997) 9.00 Broadway Danny Rose (1984) 10.45 Romeo Is Bleeding (1994) 1.00am Broadway Danny Rose (1984) 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Another Woman (1988)
3.00pm Only Fools And Horses 5.00 Heroes Of Comedy: Benny Hill 6.00 Heroes Of Comedy: Arthur Askey 7.00 The Green Green Grass 7.55 Jonathan Creek 9.00 Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga 11.00 Blackadder II (x2) 12.20am Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga
12.00pm Two And A Half Men (x17) 9.00 FILM: Scary Movie 3 (2003) 10.45 Peter Kay At The Comedy Store 11.15 Peter Kay: The Early Days 11.45 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.45 Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Peter Kay: The Early Days 2.15 Comedy Store 2.45 Two And A Half Men (x2) 3.45 Scrubs (x2)
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monday 22 Married Single Other ITV1, 9pm A brand new romantic comedy drama with a top dollar cast, including the lovely Ralph Little returning to our screens. Following the lives of two couples – one married, one not – and single man and womaniser Clint, about to meet the one woman who won’t be ‘-ised’ by him. Relationships eh? So complicated.
Tower Block Of Commons Channel 4, 9pm The last part of this remarkable series in which politicians are dropped into council estate blocks to spend eight days and nights living out of their comfort zone. The MPs are trying to complete the challenges they set themselves and soon to return to their comfortable lives. Will they forget the residents then?
Veronica Mars E4, 4pm The blonde sleuth with the kooky but deliberate chip on her shoulder continues to help her school mates out, for a fee. But having been stung once by Logan, will she ever really trust him again, and is she any closer to finding out why her first big love broke up with her out of the blue? Good ol’ tough cookie.
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24/7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.35 Leon 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 - 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Zigby 8.40 Pinky Dinky Doo 8.55 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.05 Louie 9.20 Ethelbert The Tiger 9.25 Ethelbert The Tiger 9.30 I Can Cook 9.45 Guess With Jess 9.55 Big And Small Songs 10.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Animal Park: Wild On The West Coast 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Living In The Sun 1.45 Winter Olympics 2010: Highlights 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Instant Restaurant 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce hosts another look back through the archives of the Antiques Roadshow. 7.00 Coast From the Channel Islands, the team make their way back to Dover where their adventure began. 8.00 University Challenge The quarter-finals continue. Teams need to win two quarter-final matches to reach the semi-final stage. Edinburgh University and Jesus College Oxford, who both lost their first quarter-final matches, play each other for another chance to stay in the competition. 8.30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets Legendary chef Raymond Blanc welcomes the cameras into his kitchen to share his cooking secrets. Raymond dives into the world of fish. Underused and affordable mackerel is used in his first recipe to create a light lunch or supper of grilled mackerel with a soy lime dressing. 9.00 Generation Jihad Series in which Peter Taylor investigates the terrorist threat from young Muslim extremists radicalised on the internet - the so-called Generation Jihad. 10.00 Nurse Jackie Drama black comedy series. The comatose movie critic wakes up but his tastes have radically changed. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Winter Olympics 2010
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 According To Jim 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 Coach Trip 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 FILM: Action In The North Atlantic (1943) 2.25 Glamour Puds 2.55 The TV Book Club 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley prepares to face the future without Laurel. Lisa remains anxious about the prospect of prison. Apparently it’s not the holiday camp some papers would have you believe. Fancy! 7.30 Coronation Street Will Gail discover what happened to Joe? Sunita finds an unpleasant surprise on her doorstep. 8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary based in the Lake District. In this episode, the Lake District mountain rescue team are called out in the middle of the night to rescue a family caught on the fells. 8.30 Coronation Street Devastated, Tina and Gail identify Joe’s body. Jackie arrives to comfort Tyrone. 9.00 Married Single Other See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 FILM: 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002) Starring Josh Hartnett, Shannyn Sossamon, Paulo Costanzo, Vinessa Shaw and Jarrad Paul. Comedy about a young man who decides to abstain from all sexual contact following the bitter break-up of his most recent relationship. Then meets the girl of his dreams. Ain’t it always the way? 12.20am Take Me Out 1.20 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Dom is busily cooking up a radical chilli sauce that he thinks will be the next big thing. Sounds like the Health Inspector may be around the corner. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Dispatches: Kids Don’t Count Second of a two-part special in which Dispatches asks why and how Britain’s children are failing at maths. It returns to Barton Hill Primary School to see whether the radical methods of maths specialist Richard Dunne have helped the children to grasp and enjoy the subject. 9.00 Tower Block Of Commons See highlights. 10.00 The Good Wife Legal drama. Alicia represents the widows of three train engineers following their deaths in a rail crash. Meanwhile, Jackie and Alicia fall out when Jackie takes the children to visit Peter in prison. 11.00 FILM: Keeping Mum (2005) Starring Rowan Atkinson, Maggie Smith, Kristin Scott Thomas and Patrick Swayze. British comedy about a vicar whose kindly old housekeeper proves indispensible with her ability to make problems seemingly disappear. Surprisingly excellent. 1.00am FILM: You Can Count On Me (2000) 3.00 F2.8 3.20 Tower Block Of Commons 4.10 St Elsewhere 5.00 Kidnapped By The Kids
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Getting On The Property Ladder 12.35pm Five News 12.45 RSPCA: On The Frontline 1.15 Lights, Camera, Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List 3.05 FILM: Final Descent (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Martha and Liam deal with the aftermath of their night together. Tony cannot decide whether to sell the remainder of his share in the gym to John Palmer. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn learns about fireproofing; finds out how miners search for specks of gold in Nevada; and discovers how a clever device makes lifts safe. 8.00 The Gadget Show The gang attempts to evade capture using a variety of awesome gadgets. Cool. Spy time! 9.00 FILM: The Bone Collector (1999) Starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Queen Latifah, Michael Rooker. Detective thriller about a brilliant forensics expert who is paralysed but is called back into duty when a sadistic serial killer is on the loose. A female rookie detective becomes the bed-ridden cop’s ‘eyes’ on the streets as they race against time to catch the guilty man. 11.25 FILM: Frankenstein (2004) Starring Parker Posey, Vincent Perez, Thomas Kretschmann and Michael Madsen. Modern update of Mary Shelley’s classic horror story. 1.15am SuperCasino 4.00 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2010 2.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2010 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Local magazine programme. 8.00 EastEnders Shouty, bleached blonde, teary, fruity and chilly. 8.30 Panorama Vigorous investigation of a topical issue. 9.00 New Tricks Crime drama series. According to conspiracy theorists, journalist Peter Edelmann didn’t commit suicide, but was instead killed by the US Government to stop him publishing details of a mysterious UFO crash outside one of their military bases. This is what gets them to re-open the case. Hmm. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Dairy Alex Riley is on the hunt for the most disgusting dairy product. Along the way he discovers the cheap nasty dairy substitutes and that even milk, the purest dairy product, has its unpalatable side. But it’s tasty! Yom, yom, yom. 11.35 Late Kick Off Follow the fortunes of the 12 Football League clubs in London and the South East. 12.05am Famous, Rich And Homeless 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 2.10 Survivors 3.10 The Secret Life Of The Berlin Wall 4.40 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Snow Ride 6.30 World Golf Championship 10.30 Sunshine Tour Golf 12.00pm Football First: Match Choice (x2) 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 PGA Tour Classic 8.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 9.30 PGA Tour Golf 10.30 World Golf Championship 11.30 Boots ‘n’ All The Tries 12.30am PGA Tour Classic 1.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 World Golf Championship 5.00 Boots ‘n’ All - The Tries
Sky Sports 3 6.30am Seamaster Sailing 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Super League 9.30 The Super 14 Show 11.30 Premiership Rugby Union 12.30pm Super League 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 WWE Raw 6.30 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 7.30 ATP Masters 500 9.00 Dubai Tennis Championship 11.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE Late Night Afterburn 1.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Extra Time 4.45 Close
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Living
1.00pm Bones 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 UK Border Force 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 The Real A & E 9.00 How To Get What You Want 10.00 House 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle Undercover 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Above Their Station 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Scallywagga 12.45 Gavin And Stacey 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Syrian School 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Getting Our Way 10.00 Your Father’s Murderer - A Letter To Zachary: Storyville 11.30 Folk America 12.30am BBC Four Sessions 1.30 Only Connect 2.00 Getting Our Way 3.00 Your Father’s Murderer - A Letter To Zachary: Storyville
5.00pm American Idol: Hollywood 3 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.30 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 12.40am Coronation Street (x2) 1.35 Emmerdale
3.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.50 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Martin Clunes: A Man And His Dogs 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.00 The Bill: Crossing The Line 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars. See highlights. 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glee 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 King Of The Hill 11.00 Skins 12.05am FILM: The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (1991)
2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Stuttering School 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 The Secret Millionaire 11.10 Brothers And Sisters 12.05am Relocation, Relocation
1.00pm Passport Patrol (x2) 2.00 Grey’s Anatomy 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Britain’s Worst Husband 9.00 New America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Changing Faces: Katie Price 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
12.00pm Hitler - A Profile 1.00 Christianity: A History 2.00 Weapons Of Combat 3.00 The American Civil War 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mega Builders 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mythbusters 11.00 American Chopper 12.00am Destroyed In Seconds (x2)
2.00pm Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Hercules In The Maze Of The Minotaur (1994) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 A Town Called Eureka 10.00 Medium (x2) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: A Time To Dream (1994)
1.00pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 1.50 Lifeboat (1944) 3.30 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 5.05 The War Lord (1965) 7.10 Dial M For Murder (1954) 9.00 The Wild Bunch (1969) 11.30 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 1.20am Lifeboat (1944) 3.05 Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
9.00am Badlands (1973) 10.40 The Bank Job (2008) 12.40pm The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 2.45 Lenny (1974) 4.45 Arctic Tale 6.20 Badlands (1973) 8.00 The Bank Job (2008) 10.00 Mongol (2007) 12.05am Lenny (1974) 2.00 The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 4.00 Arctic Tale
11.00am At Gunpoint (1955) 12.35pm The Enemy Below (1957) 2.30 There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) 4.45 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 6.40 Ladyhawke (1985) 9.00 Working Girl (1988) 11.10 Prizzi’s Honor (1985) 1.45am The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad (1988)
9.45am Mad City (1997) 12.55pm Of Mice And Men (1992) 3.00 The Candidate (1972) 5.30 Yentl (1983) 8.10 The Screening Room 9.00 Forever Young (1992) 11.00 The Mackintosh Man (1973) 1.00am Forever Young (1992) 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 The Candidate (1972)
2.00pm The Brittas Empire (x2) 3.20 As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 The Good Life (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Only Fools And Horses 8.00 The Green Green Grass (x2) 9.20 Only Fools And Horses 10.00 Fawlty Towers 10.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.20 The Omid Djalili Show 12.00am Early Doors
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Lee Evans: XL Tour 11.20 Sex And The City (x2) 12.30am Two And A Half Men (x2)
Classics
Indie