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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
JOHNNY DEPP
on Alice In Wonderland p13
2 – 8 March 2010
FREE WEEKLY
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Your mon hy guide to hea2lt living p2
Sexy specs for cool guys and hip girls at David Clulow page 15
MUM’S THE WORD Mother’s Day pampering special CHRIS ADDISON The In The Loop star on his new show Have you seen our top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at
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In the frame
MEETING JOE STRUMMER Actor Steve North on encountering his hero
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003_LS464 contents
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Brighton Festival and Documentary Festival launches 5 City Speak Will dishes the dirt on love; Andrea attends Pete Bennett’s wedding, and Tash eats lots and lots of cows 6 Butlers In The Buff Waxing strips at the ready! The male order company with a difference are recruiting in Brighton this week 7 Heather Mills’ VBites How to have a guilt free Easter 8 News Visiting nurse gets the clamp; plus Mary Mears invites Latest 7 readers to vote in the Public Service Awards 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 9 Bookings Brighton and Chichester Festivals, Pet Shop Boys, A-ha... 9 Competitions Win a family ticket to Disney Live! (tea party included) 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Musicians! Earn yourself a free industry review 10 Snap Shots Angus Little, aka street poet Milky T 11 Celebcity Simon Cowell’s wedding, Alex Reid and Gordon Brown 12 Bare Cheek Play Brighton Roadworks Bingo!
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L7 Don’t miss...
13 L7 INTERVIEW Johnny Depp on trying not to embarrass Tim Burton, investigating the madness of his Mad Hatter, and why Edward Scissorhands will always be his kids’ favourite film
15 LIFESTYLE
There’s so much in this week’s issue to rave about, but first a few words on legendary pop artist and thinker Brian Eno, whose curatorship of this year’s Brighton Festival is set to make it the most exciting yet. As evidenced at the festival’s launch on Wednesday, The Wisdom Of Brian is marvellous and manifold, ranging from the essence of this city (Brighton is, he reckons, “a progressive experiment in citizenship”) to the secret of long life (namely singing and camping). But he’s naturally most pertinent when talking about art – what it is, why we need it, and why an artist is someone who starts a process, not finishes it. We still haven’t answered the question as to what culture is for, he explained. But his inkling is that it’s all about our need from time to time to surrender, to lose ourselves in something beyond the self – surrender, for Mr Eno, being very much an active verb. We were thinking about that as we read Zara Baker’s piece for this month’s Wave on Kundalini yoga – a type of yoga you do with your eyes closed – and actor Steve North’s thoughts on Meeting Joe Strummer, a punk play all about a particularly blokish pursuit of a sense of belonging. And it also throws a new light on the observations of Alice In Wonderland star Johnny Depp (see this week’s L7 Interview), whose surrender to the peculiar will of director Tim Burton has now spanned seven surreal films. Elsewhere we’ve got interviews with Chris Addison, star of the awesome In The Loop and The Thick Of It, and Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson (who says he once saw Johnny Rotten embrace Phil Collins – very wrong). All that and our cover feature on stylish opticians David Clulow, plus a special Mother’s Day gift guide.
15 Cover feature Bookish is bang on trend with David Clulow Opticians 16 Mother’s Day special Six-page guide to spoiling the woman in your life
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22 wave Close your eyes and open your mind with Kundalini yoga, plus how to quit for good this Non Smoking Day 27 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Expertly spiced crab claws at Rasa; plus the Hotlist
29 WHAT’S ON 29 Stage Steve North on punk play Meeting Joe Strummer 30 Music & Club Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson interviewed 32 Art & Events Legendary Monty Python producer John Howard Davies 33 Film Alice In Wonderland hits the big screen (even Odeon’s) 34 Comedy Chris Addison on In The Loop, Oscars and his solo show 34 Gay Top politicians join the party at National Student Pride 35 Reviews African Soul Rebels, Jo Caulfield, Wilkommen Collective 36 Sport Is England’s cricket team just the South African 2nd XI? 36 TV C4’s post-Big Brother plans; plus seven-day listings guide
Hedda Gabler Monday 8 – Saturday 13 March Theatre Royal Brighton Adrian Noble directs former Bond villainess Rosamund Pike in what’s been dubbed Ibsen’s Hamlet: the enigmatic tragedy of a woman returning from honeymoon already bored by her marriage.
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SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps the launches of Brighton Festival and documentary celebration SEE Nick Coquet, James Kendall
Brian Eno is in the building! Brighton Festival 2010 launched last Wednesday with an event at the Dome Concert Hall that included a speech by this year’s guest curator, the mighty Brian Eno, and a surprise ‘flash mob’ of disco dancers organised by acclaimed local choreographer Ben Wright. (See p 9 for Bookings information)
Katie Mac, Julia Wells
Brian Eno, Graham Leaney, Glynis Leaney (Brighton Philmarmonic) Elizabeth Madimi
Andrew Comden
Mary Collins, Kat Mansoor
Garry Peltzer-Dunn (Deputy Mayor) Councillor Vanessa Brown, Kate Peltzer-Dunn
Nina Stevens (back2back productions ltd), Dani Wilmot (back2back productions ltd), Rebecca Colman (back2back productions ltd), Hal Watmough (back2back productions ltd), David Notman-Watt (MD, back2back productions ltd & See Founder)
SEE and be seen SEE: The Brighton Documentary Film Festival kicked off its fifth year with a launch party at Madame Geisha on 18 February, introducing a programme that included talks by big name filmmakers such as Bafta-winner Louis Theroux and Sussex’s own Nick Broomfield. The festival is organised and curated by back2back productions ltd. disco ‘flash mob’
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CITY SPEAK 05
The Early Bird
Teen Spirit
Andrea Fox steers clear of the wedding bouquet
Tasha Dhanraj is a health freak – emphasis on freak
’ve just been to the most bizarre means something to you? Maybe I wedding. Amazing, but unusual. should stop sniggering at the pink Everyone brought a dish and horse-drawn carriage Katie Price contributed some booze to the bar, travelled in at her first wedding to while the guests were in fancy dress. Peter Andre, or the matching pink Easy on the nuptials, more like a gown. I suppose it was an adequate festival. The other half and me only portrayal of her: a performance with had time to pick up some masks and cameras! If only someone would were severely underdressed. The TV propose to Lady Gaga. crew must have been disappointed But I prefer the real to reality TV, when we arrived. But the five-year-old like Zoe Ball turning up at the registry dressed as a lion and the zebra stiltoffice with a bottle of Jack Daniels. walkers more than made up for us. And, if I’m honest, I’m not so worried They got my votes for best-dressed, about how the couple make their day after the bride and groom of course. about them, as long as they don’t Clearly not the average wedding, take themselves too seriously. and neither were the bride and groom. This summer I will be a bridesmaid Congratulations to for the first Gemma and time and I am “Weddings to me honoured. Pete Bennett! But I’m Weddings to me going to be are things other are things other rubbish at it. people have, like Already I’ve people have, like pets, pensions and suggested we an iron. I seem to be pets, pensions wear black as it’s doing fine without slimming, and any of those things, and an iron” sided with the so I think I’ll be fine groom over his without the wedding too. I was never protests to wear multi coloured a bridesmaid as a child, presumably trainers with a suit. because I wasn’t cute enough. If I ever get married I’ll probably I’m not bitter; it was a blessing in skip straight to the fun part. The disguise, the outfits I had to wear party! Well, you don’t go for the as a five-year-old guest were bad speeches do you? If only the WAGs enough. Off-the-shoulder fuchsia would follow my lead, imagine the pink ruffle dress? I should have distress at the head offices of OK! called social services. magazine? When it comes to I think weddings should convey weddings, the key is each to their own. accurately the people getting hitched, with no fretting over tradition. Why Listen to The Guy & Andrea Breakfast not bring your pets, dress up and get Show on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every your band to play if that’s what Monday to Friday from 7am
don’t intend to eat unhealthily. I don’t eat crisps; I haven’t had a Pot Noodle for seven years and the other day I ordered a falafel wrap. I just have the issue of having slightly twisted logic when it comes to health. All through my childhood and adolescence I heard different things about what was good for you or not, so I’ve developed possibly incorrect knowledge and beliefs about food. Up until recently, I thought that salt was the opposite of sugar so, if I ate chips with lots of salt, I could balance out the bad nutrition by eating a Kit Kat. Apparently, it doesn’t work like that. When I was 14, there was a government campaign aimed at teenage girls, encouraging them to eat cheese because it is good for your teeth. I used this to justify eating mountains of Red Leicester. Needless to say I put on a fair bit of weight. Someone once mentioned to me that cravings are your body’s way of telling you what it is lacking. My body is always lacking in ice cream. It seems the entire world has conspired against me in a plot to confuse me and ultimately make me fat. My major health pitfall is meat. For my birthday this year, I didn’t have a birthday cake – I had birthday steak. I sometimes wish I was anaemic just so I could justify how much red meat I consume. I must take in so much iron, I’m surprised I’m not magnetic. The
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amount of cows I eat counts for at least 90% of my carbon footprint. Quite often, I have leftover roast beef for breakfast. My sister and mother seem to have healthy eating worked out. They drink wheatgrass. My sister hates it so much she has to drink it like a shot of tequila. I don’t understand why you would put yourself through so much discomfort for something that supposedly makes your bowel a little bit more efficient. But they seem to be a lot less confused by all this health stuff than I am.
“The amount of cows I eat counts for at least 90% of my carbon footprint. I have roast beef for breakfast” I occasionally consider making a real effort towards being a healthier person, but then I question the point. At the moment I’m genuinely happy with my weight and I seem to be in adequate health. Most of all – I enjoy what I eat! Until my iron levels start to set off the metal detectors at the library, why would I want to trade in a sirloin steak for a wheatgrass shake?
What’s the best Brighton wedding you’ve been to? Does diet matter? Love: basically utterly horrible? comment@thelatest.co.uk “So you admit he’s using you.” My flatmate, ever the host, quickly interjects with a bottle of Malbec. “Well I for one wouldn’t mind a little using at this juncture,” he says. “My other half’s away so much, I’ve forgotten what a you-know-what looks like.” “Come on, darling, your tummy’s not that big!” shouts K. Will Harris orders love with a side-serving of misery “I’m serious,” he continues. His boyfriend, a semi-famous a cappella singer, is currently on a two-month tour of the Eastern Seaboard, a tour which he keeps telling everyone in ominous tones will make or break his quick straw poll of the table yields the career. “That’s the bit that gets me; there’s no unsurprising result that being in love is recognition it could just as easily make or break utterly horrible. I say unsurprising purely our relationship. I mean it’s a bit of a kick in the because my dinner party is composed of two balls, isn’t it, for someone you love to prioritise “Everyone looks over at my hysterical gay men, one lesbian, and one drunk, their career over you?” straight woman who’s taken down more men There’s a pregnant pause as everyone looks over side of the table, where I than the Lusitania. It’s around 10pm and we’ve at my side of the table, where I am weeping gently am weeping gently into the into the remains of my tiramisu. just finished dessert, when our attention turns to the central course at any good dinner “Oh, for God’s sake.” H scoots her chair closer to remains of my tiramisu” party: bitching. me and winds a careful arm around my shoulders. First to wade in is my friend K (works for a “You see, this is what being in love gets you. We’re tabloid, lives in a squat, has asked me to point all young, intelligent, sensible people, and yet out the two are not synonymous). K is currently we’re all totally messed up.” dating a sculptor five years her junior, but has been having trouble getting “OK, here’s the question,” says K, sloshing red wine. “If tomorrow you him to commit. “It’s terrible,” she says. “I want him to think I’m super fun could take a pill and never be in love again, would you take it?” We look and devil-may-care, but all I really want is a proper relationship. So while around at each other, each of us thinking but none of us saying the awful it looks like I’m having the time of my life running through a park at truth of the situation: that young, intelligent, sensible as we are, we midnight tagging trees with spraycans, I’m actually fantasising we’re in wouldn’t have it any other way. B&Q looking at swatches of Dulux on a Sunday afternoon. I’m exhausted.” “Do you think he’s just using you for sex?” Far be it from H, the manhating lesbian in our midst, to beat around the bush. follow me on twitter latestwill “What? No! Not just sex anyway.”
William Tells
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06 BUTLERS IN THE BUFF
At your service Forget Jeeves, waiters just got sexy with Butlers In The Buff, now recruiting in the city xperts in etiquette, Butlers In The Buff are searching for Brighton's most gorgeous men. Are you good looking, charming and sociable? After a new and exciting job? Scouts will be scouring the streets and bars looking for the best men in Brighton. If this sounds like you, then you can join Butlers In The Buff, the original and best male order butler service. Auditions take place on Tuesday 9 March at Madame Geisha on East Street, Brighton. Butlers In The Buff offers gorgeous waiters with impeccable manners to service parties, events and hen nights. And what's more, they do it wearing only a bow tie, collar, cuffs and a bottom-revealing apron! For your chance to join the team, simply turn up at Madame Geisha, 75–79 East Street, Brighton on Tuesday 9 March at 7pm to face a very special team of judges – the directors of Butlers In The Buff and a selection of panelists who are ready to give their honest opinions. “We offer a high end service which makes any party exciting and memorable,” says operations director Will Jones. “Customers are as impressed with our Butlers’ personalities and charming
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manner as they are with their toned bodies!” They provide a full training program to all new recruits to ensure that they only provide butlers of the highest quality. “I love the job, I couldn’t think of a better way to earn money,” says butler Mike. “At first you're nervous but you soon forget that your bum is on display and you get on with serving drinks and mingling. The reaction from the guests is always positive; they love the idea, as it's not sleazy, it’s just fun!” Butlers In The Buff is looking to recruit as many suitable men as possible to meet the high demand in the UK. The pay is excellent at £25 per hour and the work is extremely good fun! Interested hopefuls – or someone who thinks their friend or boyfriend would make a good butler – should contact the Butlers In The Buff recruitment department today. Call 0117 3777924 or email photos to work@butlersinthebuff.co.uk and you will be sent an application form.
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VBITES 07
VBites of wisdom Heather Mills looks forward to a guilt-free Easter aster is almost here and I’m sure many of you want to enjoy your chocolate treat without the guilt of it being the indulgent season. Well, here is a fantastic piece of news – guilt free chocolate does exist! These last few years there has been a significant rise in the quality of vegan, organic chocolate. At my restaurant, VBites, we have a great range of organic and vegan chocolate that is just right to give as an Easter gift – that is, if you can bear parting with it. All over the county, companies are waking up to the benefits of vegan, organic chocolate. It is kinder on the waistline, has health benefits, is better for the environment and tastes fantastic! Vegan chocolate is one of the staple foods in any vegan kitchen; I often use it in cakes, muffins and desserts (check out this week’s recipe for Chocolate Cream Pie) to add that indulgent and rich flavour.
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CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE Ingredients 8oz flour (organic if possible) 2 tbsp Maple Syrup 1 tsp sea salt 4 tbsp canola oil 8 tbsp water 18oz dark vegan chocolate chips 2 packages silken tofu 1 tsp vanilla Pinch of sea salt
“Some of my fellow skaters were hesitant to eat my chocolate muffins at first, as the outfits we had to wear were so figure-hugging” When Matt and I were skating in Dancing On Ice, I took a basket of chocolate muffins in on show day. Some of my fellow skaters, boys and girls, were hesitant to eat them at first, as the outfits we had to wear are so figure-hugging, but when I explained that dark chocolate is healthier than other types, the muffins were polished off in a matter of minutes! There are so many reasons to choose organic, vegan chocolate. Vegan chocolate, which is dark by nature, has naturally fewer calories and lower levels of saturated fat than milk, plain and white chocolate. This means that you can feel less guilt about giving vegan Easter eggs out to loved ones or even eating them yourself. Dark chocolate contains as much as four times as many flavonoids as milk chocolate. Flavonoids have anti-oxidant properties and have been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease, lower cholesterol and help achieve a drop in blood pressure. Organic chocolate doesn’t contain additives, which also can cause problems such as osteoporosis, migranes and hyperactivity. On average, organic vegan food also contains higher levels of Vitamin C and essential minerals such as calcium, magnesium, iron and chromium as well as cancer-fighting antioxidants. Vegan produce is also good for wildlife and the environment. The UK government has said that it causes lower pollution from sprays, produces less carbon dioxide – the main global warming gas – and less dangerous wastes. Through my charity campaigning I have come across much wildlife left homeless by the chemical damage to habitats and landscapes. Don’t let your Easter celebrations contribute to this destruction.
Will you be giving up non-vegan chocolate for Lent? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Heather’s
DIARY
ince leaving Dancing On Ice, and after taking a short break, I have had more time to spend on my charity campaigns. In addition to the work I have done with Physicians for Peace, I have now joined forces with AgeUK (formerly Help the Aged and Age Concern) in collecting walking aids for the Haiti earthquake survivors. AgeUK have opened as collection points for prosthetic limbs and other donations to help those who need it in Haiti. I’ve also been busy organising more events at VBites following the success of last month's Valentine’s events, where one couple celebrated 25 years together and another couple found love at the restaurant! I’m, encouraged to continue putting on events to celebrate all that is great about our local community.
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Easter made easy
Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com See website for winter opening times
Don’t know what to do with the children this Easter? Head down to VBites for a vegan chocolate eater egg hunt! On Saturday 4 April from 11am we will be hosting an Easter egg hunt in and around the restaurant. With prizes, giveaways and maybe even a special appearance from the Easter bunny, it will be a day to relax, enjoy... and indulge in plenty of vegan chocolate.
Method: 1 Pre-heat oven 400°F/204°C 2 To make the crust, combine all the dry ingredients in a large bowl. 3 Then add the maple syrup and oil. Work this in with your hands. 4 Add cold water drop by drop until it forms a dough. 5 Roll the dough into a ball and then roll out to about 18” thickness. 6 Grease a pie dish and line with the pastry. Prick the bottom of the pastry and then bake in the pre-heated oven until it is lightly brown( about 10 mins). 7 To make the filling, melt the chocolate chips over a low heat. 8 Place the melted chocolate in a blender with the other ingredients and blend until smooth. 9 Pour the mix into your pie crust and chill in the fridge for at least two hours. 10 Served on its own or with soya cream.
Eco Veggie Fayre Look out for VBites at the Eco Veggie Fayre at Hove Town Hall on 20 Mar ch
see you – Heather
008_LS464_newsphil/Council
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08 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
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days of headlines with Phil Mills
Nurse rewarded with car clamp, murder charges fill courts, and cops get new clobber t’s time for one clamping company to eat humble pie, after an NHS nurse attending a diabetic stroke victim in her home returned to her car to find it clamped. The car was parked in a private zone outside Irene Johnson’s home in Newhaven but the nurse says she was there for only a few minutes. After finding her car clamped, the nurse was stranded for more than an hour before the clamping company released her vehicle – and made her pay £130 in fines and fees. Mrs Johnson and her family have condemned the clamping company’s action as disgraceful and Newhaven Lib-Dem MP Norman Baker has taken up the case. Mrs Johnson’s son Paul Johnson said: “It was bad enough the nurse having to pay all that money but to keep her tied up like that for nearly two hours was scandalous.”
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Irene Johnson
Mrs Johnson said: “It’s nothing short of a disgrace.” Come on clamping company – give the lady her money back and say you are sorry. It is a tragic irony that while murder entertained audiences at Sussex theatres, close by lives were being taken and families were being left grief stricken. Agatha Christie’s A Murder Is Announced was on at the Brighton Little Theatre and an adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s murder-based story Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime was playing at the Theatre Royal. But there was nothing light-hearted about what has been happening in our streets. Popular Gordon Stalker, 51, died after suffering six knife wounds to the chest on the doorsteps of his home in Elm Grove, Brighton. Two wounds penetrated his heart and he died in seconds. A 40-year-old man has been charged with his murder and has been remanded in custody. Two men have been charged in connection with the murder of Ahmed Remon Hayder who was found dead above an Indian restaurant. The 27-year-old suffered head wounds in the bedsit above the Moon of India in Sutton Park Road, Seaford.
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the Public Service Awards ver the years, foster carers Jim and Rose Emery have looked after children of all ages, from babies to teenagers. At times, they have cared for children who have had difficult starts in life and, at others, children who were very distressed. But the couple have always applied the same warmth, commitment and professionalism to the task. Osei Frimpong is a street cleaner. You probably haven’t ever seen him but in all weathers he has patrolled the city’s pavements keeping them spotlessly clean. One could be forgiven for occasionally being a bit grumpy when working
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Earlier, an 18-year-old woman appeared in court charge with the murder of 85-year-old Irene Herring who died after an arson attack at the victim’s nursing home in Bexhill. At the same time, the bodies of two toddlers, Harry and Elise Donnison, were found in holdalls in the boot of a car near their family home in Sheepsetting Lane, Heathfield. Their mother Fiona Donnison, 43, has been charge with their murders. Meanwhile, police have arrested and charged a third man in connection with the murder of Marek Pudlowski in Bognor. In other news, the Banana Splits theme tune failed to raise a smile for residents of a Brighton block of flats. Neighbours of Amanda Millard got so fed up listening to the cartoon theme tune that they called in the council’s environmental health team. Millard, of Freehold Terrace, was fined £250 after being found guilty of breaching a noise abatement notice. On a more environmentallyfriendly note, volunteer school children, students and businesses helped plant 600 new trees in East Brighton Park in a city councilorganised project. Finally, Sussex Police officers and staff are to get new, more durable operational uniforms later this year. All 2,600 men and women currently being measured – or should that be fitted up?
What’s your take on the week’s news?
comment@thelatest.co.uk follow me on twitter
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Being a greyhound owner at Hove I was none too pleased to read Heather's story about greyhounds [VBites, L7 459] as unfortunately events mentioned in the column have happened and no doubt will happen again in the future by certain members of the public. But the work and effort which many, many people from the Hove Retired Greyhound Trust and like-minded trusts provide is nothing short of superb. Warren Venour, by email Ref Heather Mills’ article regarding greyhounds [VBites, L7 459], it appears she has not investigated this at all and has just quoted from the anti-greyhound lobby’s literature. Firstly, greyhounds raced at Hove are either homed via the owner, trainer, or as is the norm our own RGT (Retired Greyhound Trust) kennels. We and the track at Hove look upon greyhound welfare as the number one factor in greyhound racing, not the racing itself. The number of dogs we have rehomed over the years counts to many thousands. There are regular social events, walks, fundays etc where the proud owners of retired greyhounds meet with their dogs. Transparency is our motto at Hoves Retired Greyhound Trust. David Ide, via www.thelatest.co.uk [Re Ruby Grimshaw: Life beings at 70, L7 462] I would love to read more about the oldies’ take on modern life – I can identify with it absolutely! Valerie Moffett, by email Thank you for this interview! [Is this the next Harry Potter? L7 461] I love Logan Lerman since... I can’t remember! Keep it up! Jennifer Hauser, via www.thelatest.co.uk You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
latest7news
outside in the dark and biting cold of winter. But Osei is known for being relentlessly friendly and happy. What do they have in common? They are all outstanding public servants who have shown a dedication to their jobs that goes way beyond the call of duty. It is not an exaggeration to say all Rose and Jim Emery three have made this city a better place. Last September’s inaugural Public Service Awards, organised by Brighton & Hove City Council, recognised the three with the joint title of ‘Public Servant of the Year’ at a ceremony hosted by Sally Gunnell OBE. But there are many others who were in the running and also deserved recognition. That’s why I’m delighted to announce the second annual awards, which will be in November this year at the Grand Hotel. Sally has again agreed to be our host.
We’re building on last year’s ceremony by adding three award categories: Volunteer of the Year, School Support Champion and the Sports and Physical Activity Award. These new categories reward the unsung heroes of our city; the extensive network of volunteers, people who work in our schools and those who take part in sport across the city. But let’s not forget that there are ten other categories, including the important Public Servant and Public Service of the Year. The awards are a celebration of the people in Brighton and Hove – being open to the 8,000 or so people who work in the Public Sector – and can’t run these without sponsorship partners like Juice FM or East Sussex Fire and Rescue Service. But, most of all, we need you to vote. Nominate now at www.brighton–hove.gov.uk/awards
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BOOKINGS | COMPETITIONS | CHART 09
L7 Bookings
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week…
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest
BRIGHTON FESTIVAL BOOKING OPENS FRIDAY 5 MARCH Various Brighton venues, 1–23 May, 01273 709709, www.brightonfestival.org This year’s Brian Eno-curated programme includes his Apollo-inspired composition ‘This Is For All Mankind’, a star-studded six-hour improvisation, celebrations of a cappella and Afrobeat, and his iconic installation ‘77 Million Paintings’. Wowzer. Full programme online.
KATE NASH Komedia, 8 March, £12.50, tickets only through Rounder, Resident and www.katenash.co.uk A very last minute, very intimate show for the princess of gutsy and summery pared-down pop.
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL 2010 Chichester Festival Theatre, 15 April–16 October, 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk Rupert Everett does Pygmalion, Patrick Stewart stars in Bingo, David Edgar adapts The Master Builder, Lucy Prebble’s Enron drops in and the big musical is 42nd Street directed by Paul Kerrison. Full fantastic programme online.
CHARLESTON FESTIVAL 2O10 21–30 May, Charleston Farmhouse, Firle, Lewes, www.charleston.org.uk or Dome box office 012373 709709 Costa Prize winning poet Christopher Reid, Bill Bryson, Zadie Smith, Geoff Dyer, Sarah Waters and a host of other top writers and thinkers line up for the 21st literary salon. Programme online.
PET SHOP BOYS Brighton Centre, 19 July, £30, 0844 8471515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Expect a multi-media spectacular including crazy costumes, choreography by Lynne Page and a cubist stage set as the boys continue to add to their acclaimed Pandemonium tour.
1 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know Kate Nash
NATALIE MERCHANT
3 Mr Resonate – The Road To 2012 Vol. 5
Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 30 May, £27.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Return of the New York songwriter whose forthcoming Leave Your Sleep (6 April) features settings of classic and contemporary poetry from Christina Rossetti to Edward Lear.
4 Panos Christofi – In My Mind
THE UNTHANKS St George’s Church, 24 May, £17/£15, tickets from Rounder, Resident or Dome b/o 01273 709709 Geordie folk (clogging included) from the sweetvoiced young siblings, previously nominated for a Mercury.
A QUESTION OF SPORT LIVE Brighton Centre, 14 November £35, 0844 8471515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk To celebrate 40 years on air, the UK’s longest running sports quiz embarks on its first ever stage tour, with Sue Barker, Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell in tow.
A-HA Brighton Centre, 15 November, £28.50–£55.00, 0844 8471515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk ‘Last ever’ tour for the ‘80s Norwegian new wavers... now where’ve we heard that before?
DEERHUNTER 10 May, Concorde 2, £14.50/£12.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Catch the squalling ambient-garage favourites just after they play the Matt Groening-curated All Tomorrow's Parties.
COMPETITIONS DOC MARTIN SERIES 4 ON DVD Martin Clunes returns as the straight-talking, blood-fearing and dog-detesting GP. Q In which comedy series did Martin Clunes star with Neil Morrissey?
WIN!
CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT ON DVD
Warring vampires, misunderstood sideshow freaks, grotesque creatures of the night... and Salma Hayek playing a beared lady. (Available from Universal Pictures). Q Famous vampire film The Lost ....?
DISNEY LIVE! FAMILY TICKET We’re offering one family of four the chance to catch Disney’s newest stage show, Three Classic Fairy Tales, meet Mickey, Snow White, Belle and Cinderella, and attend a Classic Tales Tea Party – with a goodie bag to take home too. Disney Live! is at the Brighton Centre from 2-5 April. Q Which of Mickey’s friends is a duck?
MATERIAL GIRL SERIES 1 ON DVD Ugly Betty meets Sex And The City in the adventures of Ali Radcliffe (Lenora Chrichlow), a talented fashion designer trying to get her break. Q Who is fashion designer Stella McCartney’s famous father?
2 No Sharp Objects – Home
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 15 March.
5 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind Of Love 6 Jaybee – The Wild Wild East 7 Harper Ash – Star 8 Tenek – Submission 9 Chaos Borne – I Will 10 NDE– I Got A Feeling (B.E.P) NDE remix It’s been a while since chart mainstay, pop singer-songwriter Panos Christofi has hit the top spot; this week sees a welcome return with ‘I’ll Never Know’ at number one. Rockers No Sharp Objects jump two spaces from four with ‘Home’ as last week’s chart-topper, hip-hop performer Mr Resonate, slides down to three with his political opus ‘The Road To 2012 Vol. 5’. Completing the top five, Panos rears his head again at four as No Sharp Objects also take the fifth spot with ‘Wrong Kind Of Love’.
CALLING ALL UNSIGNED MUSICIANS! WIN YOURSELF A FREE INDUSTRY REVIEW WITH LATEST 7 Latest 7 has hooked up with Unsigned Band Review (UBR) to offer users of the Latest Brighton Download Chart a fantastic opportunity. UBR (www.unsignedbandreview.com) is a site that bridges the gap between musicians and the music industry. On 11 March, UBR are holding a showcase gig at the Prince Albert, and the lineup will include brilliant covers band Portslade – the most downloaded act in our chart’s history. Up until the gig, the Number One artist each week on the Latest Brighton Download Chart will receive a free industry review from one of UBR’s panel of professionals, including reps from NME and Warner. Oh, and the guy who signed Duffy. Also up for grabs are free single release packages with Zimbalam. All you need to do is continue to submit your music to this chart, and sign up FREE to Unsigned Band Review (www.unsignedbandreview.com).
VIEW THE FULL CHART, LISTEN TO TRACKS AND SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC OR VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
010_LS464_Snap Shots
2/25/10
2:40 PM
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10 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Street poet Milky T
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Brighton and Hove kicks some serious ass compared to most cities. You can see CyberPunks hangin’ out with grannies and crusties. You can even see goths hangin’ out with hiphoppaz in the streets. The council should really think about makin’ Brighton more like Amsterdam. That would bring the tourists in and keep the terrorists out, I swear!
”
25-year-old MC Milky T is a poet from the streets of Bury St Edmunds who comes good in the pubs and clubs of Brighton, “spittin' rhymes about the times.” He is the alter ego of Angus Little, son of Mark Little, who has also spent time in Stomp. Catch him at the Marwood Studios on Ship Street during May’s Brighton Fringe Festival.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk manchester street, brighton
tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
011_LS464_celebcity
2/26/10
12:20 PM
Page 1
CELEBCITY 11
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Simon Cowell could marry in Rottingdean, Alex Reid turns columnist and Gordon Brown sends support
Will Simon have a Sussex wedding? o, shock news last week that music mogul Simon Cowell has got engaged to makeup artist Mezhgan Hussainy. But the question on everyone's lips is – where will the wedding take place? My money is on the village of Rottingdean where Simon’s mum Julie attends the local church of St Margaret's. Simon met Mezhgan, or Mez to her friends, while re-styling Susan Boyle after she became the UK's national treasure overnight. So what do we know about Mez? Well, she is a 36-year-old ex-actress, having starred in Hollywood based soaps, The Bold And The Beautiful and Sunset Beach. Mez has been married before to a Middle Eastern rug dealer, Ahmed Zahiri, but divorced him when she was 28. Now she spends her time grooming the rich and famous, including Simon. Simon's mum Julie, 84, who lives in Ovingdean, has said, Nick Cave wearing brand new “I'm so, so happy Simon is getting married. trainers in Italian restaur red I'm thrilled. He's very contented with Strada in New Road. Louis ant The Mezghan. She's a lovely woman and I'm was also spotted eating pizzroux there before his talk for SEE a delighted that he's so happy.” The Brighton Documentary : So will there be wedding bells chiming one Film Festival. of Simon's hits this summer in the seaside village? I can just hear the tune of ‘So Macho’ being struck out on the 14th century bells!
S
SPOTTED!
A GRIPPING REID! Getting more famous by the minute is the new Mr Price – aka Alex Reid. As well as having his own TV show being made about him, he can now add his own national magazine column as another string to his bow. Column number one ran last week in Star magazine – the weekly gossip bestseller. Highlights of Alex's week included spoiling Katie with loads of presents on Valentine's Day and talking about his appearance on Alan Carr: Chatty Man – gripping stuff Alex!
ROBIN’S RECORD BROKEN Missing from the Dancing On Ice panel last week was head judge and Brighton resident Robin Cousins. Robin decamped from his normal ice throne and hot-footed over to Whistler in Canada to become a co-presenter of the Winter Olympics coverage for the BBC. But he found himself in the news when British Skeleton hopeful Amy Williams won the first gold medal since – yes you've guessed it – Robin, who won his almost 30 years ago, for men's solo figure skating at the tender age of 18!
PRIDE BEFORE POLITICS Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg and David Cameron will all be sending video messages of support to be played at National Student Pride, which takes place in Brighton for the second year running on Saturday 6 March. Shadow Cabinet MP Nick Herbert (pictured) and Chris Bryant MP (Labour Deputy Leader of the House Commons) will be there in person to take part in the political debating panel at the daytime event at Oceana on West Street. Hope they enjoy the Calvin Klein gogo boys! Should Mr Cowell marry in Rottingdean? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
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10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday, until 31 March. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
012_LS464_cheeky/stars
3:09 PM
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ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
CUT-OUT ROADWORKS BINGO Tick off any example of incredibly annoying roadworks causing huge tailbacks and diverting all bus routes via Peacehaven you see. And believe us, there'll be a lot. Oh yes. Despite the fact that they did all this not six months ago. When you have ticked them all off shout “house!” to yourself and return the completed card to us, c/o Latest 7. We will send you, by return of post, a nude photograph of Kirstie Allsop (or Brian Mitchell, whichever is available).
BI NGO Western Road
Eastern Road
Churchill Square
Preston Circus
Top of North Street
Middle of North Street
Bottom of North Street
Bond Street
Right outside your house
Upper Lewes Road
Fiveways
Lewes Road
Sussex Square
Victoria Terrace
Outside the mucky book shop near the station
Easthill Drive
On your route to work
Middle Street
Old Shoreham Road
✁ UNOBTAINIUM UNOBTAINABLE In what one newspaper is calling ‘the best irony we’ve ever seen’, a toy replica of the fictitious substance from James Cameron’s overly-simplistic allegorical fable Avatar has become the ‘must have’ toy of the year, meaning that it is sold out in practically all shops and cannot be purchased for love nor money. “We’d been hoping for a good ironic story,” said Nick Lemsip of The Times. “They’re always good for distracting people from wars, famines, and the like. People like to read something they can shake their heads ruefully about – and to be honest we’re much too understaffed to do any reporting on real stories. We’d been hoping for something like a climate change expert getting killed by a greenhouse or Michael Caine being shot dead by the police for being unable to identify himself by name, but this is even better.”
THE BARE CHEEK CULTURAL PRIMER
In & Out
THE CARRY ON FILMS
SPECIAL ALREADY-MADE-UP NON-EXISTENT FILMS EDITION
If anything sums up the British sense of humour, it’s the bawdy, whacky Carry On series. Kickstarted by penny-pinching producer Peter Rogers in 1958, the films have continued until the present day, surviving cast changes and deaths, shifting social attitudes, and three fatwas. But how many of them do you remember? CARRY ON RATIONING (1958) Black marketeer Sid Knockers (Sid James) becomes embroiled in a scheme to forge green shield stamps. CARRY ON VET (1962) Animal doctors Sid Crumpet (Sid James) and Norbert Riddle (Kenneth Connor) accidentally breed a dog that can predict the future. CARRY ON SPACE RACE (1968) British astronaut Albert Peeing (Charles Hawtrey) attempts to reach the moon, beating American Tex Dallas (Sid James) and Russian Ivan Normousone (Bernard Bresslaw). CARRY ON, MAN (1969) Hippie dropout Cedric Featherstone (Robin Asquith) puts LSD in the water supply of a suburban street, transforming the lives of Sid Banger (Sid James), wife Nora (Patsy Rowlands) and neighbour George (Terry Scott). CARRY ON NOTHING (1978) Glue-sniffing Sid Vicious (Sid James) attempts to destroy society.
In • The General Synod’s Life Of Python • The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel • Asses of Fire • The Dueling Cavalier
Out • The Dancing Cavalier • Ants In Your Pants 1939 • Habeas Corpus • See You Next Wednesday • Dude, Where’s My Railcard?
West Street
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2/26/10
CARRY ON YUPPIE (1985) Besuited filofax-worshipper Guy Gecko (Peter Howitt) tries to develop a run-down estate inhabited by Sid Grabber (Sid James), Trudy Truelove (Barbara Windsor), and Bert Silage (Peter Butterworth). CARRY ON INTERNET (2001) Dot com millionaire Sid Screwer (Sid James) invents a robotic woman (Jo Guest) but then goes bust and commits suicide. CARRY ON JIHAD (2010) A terrorist cell lead by Sid Khan (Sid James) tries to blow up the houses of parliament. Directed by Chris Morris.
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
Astral gets your arts into gear
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Reckless and determined Arians need something that will tap into their endless energy. Stomp should do the rick as they are lively enough to tap, if not sap, anyone’s energy. A Taurean’s bullish exterior hides away a soft centre that loves music and flowers – what better then an evening listening to the screeching of Lloyd Webber’s Cats. Geminis are incapable of relaxing and are terrified by boredom. How about staying awake through a performance of Wicked – then taxing the brain by trying to remember one of the tunes.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Cancers love a spot of history, or anything with some age, and they love a good twist in the tale. Ideally a Shakespeare will suit, or a Catherine Cookson if Will is too hard for you. Big bold Leos need a vent to explore their more outrageous genes. The answer here is simple – We Will Rock You – no plot to speak of but plenty of chances to play that air guitar. Virgos like a nice sedate life and they like their arts to match. Why not pop off and catch a matinee of Les Mis, the tunes are pretty and if you ignore the plot you should be safe.
Librans are emotionally impulsive and just love being in love. Anything with romance will do – Mamma Mia maybe, but the show and not the film, which will kill you with boredom. Scorpios require an art experience that will tax their intellect and challenge them emotionally. They too like a nice twist. How about Blood Brothers, scallywaggish, arty and a weepy too. Boring, dull and a little simple? Don’t let stereotypes suck the colour from your day. Perhaps Porgy And Bess, will ring some dusty old bells and get you up and dancing, or maybe not.
Capricorns are patient, realistic and responsible and they take life seriously. They need security but they may find this difficult to achieve. Shake things up with a trip to see Oliver. Firstly, you can't tell an Aquarian anything – they already know everything! They are, however, original, inventive and smart. Opera is their bag, The Pearl Fishers maybe? Obsessed with your fish and chips at Bardsley’s? Ask Roy to give you his Pirate KIng or his Don Giovanni whilst Muriel fiddles in the background. Ah sweet music and mushy peas.
013_LS464_interview
2/26/10
3:13 PM
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L7 INTERVIEW 13 done whatever character Tim wanted. But yeah, certainly the fact that it was The Mad Hatter was a bonus. It was because of the great challenge to try and find this guy and not to just sort of be a rubber ball heaved into an empty room and watch it bounce all over the place. I had to find that part of that character but also a little more history or gravity to the guy. The Mad Hatter is given quite a tragic back story... Well, there’s the whole Hatter dilemma really, which is where the term ‘mad as a hatter’ came from. The amount of mercury that they used in the glue to make the hats and everything was damaging. So looking at him from that perspective, it’s this guy who's literally damaged goods. He’s physically damaged. He’s emotionally a little obtuse. As opposed to just this hyper and nutty guy. So he could go from one second being very highfalutin and with a lot of levity, straight into some kind of dangerous potential rage and then tragedy. So, yeah, it was interesting. Trying to map it out was really interesting.
Johnny in Wonderland Hollywood legend Johnny Depp talks to Emmanuel Itier about playing The Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland or his seventh collaboration with director Tim Burton, everyone’s favourite film star Johnny Depp has buried his enviable good looks behind a layer of make-up, a huge ginger wig and an even bigger titfer to play The Mad Hatter in Alice In Wonderland. Emmanuel Itier goes down the rabbit hole (ok, make that LA) and talks to the star about adding a new back story to Lewis Carroll’s character, his kids’ love of Edward Scissorhands and his fruitful relationship with Burton.
F
Tim Burton says that, each time he works with you, you surprise him. Do you feel the same? There’s a certain amount of pressure where you go, ‘Jesus, will this be the one where I disappoint him?’ I try really hard, especially early on, to just come up with something that’s very different, that he hasn’t experienced before, that we haven’t experienced together before and that I think will stimulate him and inspire him to make choices based on that character. So I basically try not to embarrass him. Because I’ve used an English accent a number of
times, it becomes a little bit of an obstacle course to go, ‘Oh, that’s teetering into Captain Jackville’, or ‘This one is kind of teetering over into Willy Wonka’. So you've got to really pay attention to the places that you've been. There’s a very good possibility that you can fall flat on your face, but again, I think that’s a healthy thing for an actor. What was your reaction to being asked to play the Mad Hatter? Well, I mean, to be honest he could’ve asked me to play Alice and I would’ve said yes. I would’ve
“To be honest Tim could’ve asked me to play Alice and I would’ve said yes. But the fact that it was The Mad Hatter was a bonus”
Was there ever a time in your career where you felt things were getting a little too weird? Like ‘Johnny In Wonderland’? The whole ride, my whole ride and experience on the ride since day one, has been pretty surreal in this business, and it defies logic, why I’m still here. I’m still completely shocked that I still get jobs and still am around. But I guess more than anything it has been, yes, a kind of Wonderland. Did you think it was going to be like this when you started out? No, not at all. I had no idea where anything was going, but you can’t. It’s almost impossible to predict anything like that. I had hoped. I mean, truly, I felt like after I’d done Cry Baby with John Waters and Edward Scissorhands with Tim that they were going to cut me off right then. I was sure that they would nix me out of the gate. But I’m luckily still here. Of all the characters you’ve worked on with Tim, who has been your children’s favourite? They have a difficult time watching it because it’s their dad and they make that connection, but it’s Edward Scissorhands. That’s by far my kids’ favorite. They just connect with the character and also they see something, their dad feeling that isolation, feeling that loneliness. He’s a tragic character and so I think it’s hard for them. They bawl when they see that movie. Do you remember when Alice In Wonderland first came into your life? I do remember that I was maybe roughly five years old and reading versions, but the thing is the characters. You always know the characters. Everyone always knows the characters. Even people who haven't read the book definitely know the characters and can reference them. I actually went back and – ironically this was maybe only a year prior to Tim calling me – re-read Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass. What I took away from it was all these very strange little cryptic nuggets that he had thrown in there. I became fascinated with them because they were asking questions that couldn’t be answered almost, or made statements that he couldn't quite understand, such as ‘I’m investigating things that begin with the letter M’. That took me through a whole stratosphere of possibilities and finally, doing a little research, finding that the M is Mercury. Those things just became so, so important to the character. If I read the book again today I'd find a hundred things that I missed last time, the book is constantly changing. Alice In Wonderland is in local cinemas from Friday. For more information and trailers visit www.screenrush.co.uk
014_LS464_BriCan
14
2/24/10
2:55 PM
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015_LS464_davidclulow
2/26/10
12:30 PM
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COVER FEATURE 15
BUT MISS JONES... Prepare yourself for looking preppy in a range of classic and contemporary designs from David Clulow Opticians iss Jones pushed aside the library books, lifted herself onto the desk, tied back her hair and put on her spectacles. ‘‘But Miss Jones, you’re beautiful.’’ Oh yes, we know it’s a slightly less conventional version of the story but with frames as smart and sexy as these, no one will want to look less than bookish. At David Clulow Opticians, they are bang on trend with the current season’s styles. And with fashion designer Tom Ford’s directorial debut, A Single Man, riding high, the look is clean-lined, super cool and sexily academic. It’s apparent in all the ranges – a simplicity of design but with those ever so subtle twists, a witty detail or a discreet layering of colour. Black is back too with strong statements in tortoiseshell and in matt finished metal. What’s most striking is the move away from the more obvious bling of previous seasons; even the branding and logos are more discreet. David Clulow offers excellence in all levels of eye care using the very best techniques and technology. They also specialise in contact lenses for those of us who are tired of wearing specs. But with a look as sexy as this, who is going to want to hide the fact that they wear glasses? David Clulow has access to the hottest design trends from all the top designers working in the field. And being part of a large company means they are able to change their ranges frequently. A hot design does not necessarily mean you will get your fingers burnt when it comes to price either. The look is available at all price ranges and it’s not quickly obvious which are the more expensive; some of the frames pictured here are priced at around £100. As well as offering this fabulous range of optical frames, David Clulow has a stunning range of sunglasses. It may seem too early to be thinking about the sun, but when you see the stunning Tom Ford Aviators or the super-slick black Mykitas, you will be easily tempted. Or it could be a classic shaped pair of Ray Bans in a vibrant colour that catches your eye. And when you have booked that break in the sun, you will be wishing you had invested in a pair of sensational shades earlier. Current offers at David Clulow: £35 off a complete pair of glasses, and buy two pairs of sunglasses and receive 25 per cent off the cheapest pair. David Clulow, 25 East Street, Brighton, Sussex, BN1 1HL, open Monday to Saturday 9.30am–6pm, Sunday 11am–5pm, 01273 737578, www.davidclulow.com
M
016_LS464_BikArtTre
2/25/10
5:11 PM
Page 2
16
BIKRAM YOGA. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT?
SPECIAL OFFER You practice and bring your mother for free. £30 for 30 days
Purple Pines 9 by Nick Vivian
Sea Moods by Louise Brooks
Your sweetest gypsy kisses by Yvonne Coomber
017_021_LS464_Mothers Day
2/26/10
11:45 AM
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MOTHER’S DAY 17
Mum in a million Make this Mother’s Day one for her to treasure with our guide to imaginative, relaxing and tasty treats ince the 16th century the fourth Sunday of Lent has always been an important fixture in the calender. Initially marking the Bible story of ‘the feeding of the five thousand’, it went on to become the day on which people visited their ‘mother church’, and children were given a day off from the factories to visit their parents. In Surrey, it even became known as ‘Pudding Pie Sunday’! But you don’t have to be religious (or a pie-fanatic, or a grubby factory urchin) to spoil your mum and make a fuss of all the women without whose selflessness, graft and valour in the face of the miracle of childbirth we simply wouldn’t be here. After you’ve put a big asterisk in your diary next to Sunday 14 March, in the following pages you’ll find lots of ideas for making this Mother’s Day extra special. Take a break from the usual card and flowers combo by indulging your mum with a pampering beauty treatment. Why not make a day of it and unwind together with a rejuvenating facial or relaxing massage? Or you could treat your mum to a manicure and pedicure, perhaps even a new hair cut. Once she’s got her new look, all the more reason to wine and dine her in style, or take her out for a slap-up Sunday roast. Remember that the gift of your time and company is one of the most important things you can give on Mother’s Day. Make it personal by taking a common interest and planning a cultural outing together, perhaps browsing a local gallery. You can always bag an affordable work of art as a momento. However you choose to spoil your mum this Mother’s Day, do it in style – this is your chance to say ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ to the most deserving woman of all.
S
Art At Five Art At Five is situated in the famous North Laine in the heart of Brighton, and over the past six years has established itself as one of Sussex’s leading contemporary galleries. Art at Five showcases an extensive range of original art at affordable prices, including impressionist landscapes and vibrant floral scenes by renowned artists Nick Vivian and Yvonne Coomber. The gallery offers a free home and business consultancy service, and is an established member of Own Art, Arts Council England’s interest-free loan scheme. Art At Five, 5 Bartholomews, Brighton, BN1 1HG, 01273 774222, www.artatfive.com
The Treatment Rooms
Terraces Bar And Grill Showcasing the best of British cooking with some Mediterranean influences, Terraces Bar And Grill enjoys an unbeatable setting on Brighton’s seafront. There are stunning views from the terrace, where customers can enjoy anything from a glass of wine or cup of coffee to a snack or full meal. Just 30 seconds walk from the beach, Terraces also offers a spacious and self-contained area perfect for relaxed informal business meetings, birthday parties, weddings and other occasions. Whether you require a bespoke service or an all inclusive package, you can be sure of a calm and professional service, from the initial enquiry through to the day itself. With a capacity up to 240 and menus ranging from nibbles and canapés to full hot buffet or formal sit downs, along with a fully licensed bar and extensive coffee menu, Terraces really can offer it all. Contact them to discuss your requirements or arrange a show around. Terraces Bar And Grill, Unit 8, Madeira Drive, Brighton, East Sussex, BN2 1PS, 01273 570526, enquiries@the-terraces.co.uk, www.the-terraces.co.uk
The Treatment Rooms offers a haven of pampering, well-being and resultsdriven treatments in the heart of Brighton’s city centre. Established for 14 years, The Treatment Rooms provides a beautiful and calm environment where exceptional service and standards are coupled with top quality treatments. The most popular treatments available for Mother’s Day gift vouchers include the Renew Rose Facial (55 minutes, £49), which uses Aromatherapy Associates Renew Rose skin care products to soften, moisturise and nourish the skin, and Damask Rose water, Geranium and Evening Primrose Oil to support circulation. Cleansing, toning, exfoliation, a rejuvenating facial massage and application of a hydrating mask is followed with a relaxing scalp massage. Skin is left radiant. The Treatment Rooms Ritual (three hours, £165) is another popular choice. This is a complete treatment to relax the mind, revive the soul and leave skin looking and feeling soft and nourished. Based on the Aromatherapy Associates Renew Rose range, the therapy includes an all-over exfoliation, wrap, full body massage (including hot stones) and a luxurious rose-based aromatherapy facial. This is three hours of pure bliss. The Treatment Rooms, 21 New Road, Brighton, BN1 1UF, 01273 818444, www.thetreatmentrooms.co.uk
Gift vouchers available for any value or treatment. Valid for 6 months
017_021_LS464_Mothers Day
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2/26/10
MOTHER’S DAY
Pelham House Treat your mum to a special day at Pelham House in Lewes. Lunch and a stay on Saturday 13 March costs just £149 for two people. Included is an overnight's stay on the Saturday, a full English breakfast, and lunch for two on Sunday. Alternatively, stay on Sunday 14 March for just £99 for two people. Included is lunch on Sunday, followed by a night stay on Sunday night and full English breakfast the next morning. Additional guests are welcome for lunch at an additional £24.95 per adult, and £12.50 for children aged 3–12. Pelham house, Saint Andrews Lane, Lewes, BN7 1UW 01273 488600/485629, reservations@pelhamhouse.com, www.pelhamhouse.com
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017_021_LS464_Mothers Day
2/26/10
1:09 PM
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MOTHER’S DAY 19
Electric Hairdressing Electric Hairdressing in Brighton has some inspiring gift ideas for Mother’s Day. The multi-award-winning hairdressers in Ship Street highly train all their stylists in the art of cut and colour, meaning the whole team are focused on delivering a complete service to their clients. Internationally renowned stylist Mark Woolley owns the salon, and his hand-picked teams of salon staff share his down-to-earth nature, passion and accessible style. Treat your mum to a wonderful experience in their beautiful salon, a contemporary space which even has its own espresso bar, and let your mum enjoy some 'me time’. Their luxury Glamour Package lets mums enjoy a deluxe blow dry and manicure. While she is being pampered by the stylist, their inhouse beauty stylist will work her magic on the hands. Your mum will leave the salon with that glamorous and chic look we all wish we could achieve easily every day. This is the perfect gift for a time-starved mum who likes to look salon perfect. The deluxe blow dry and manicure costs £40. The Style Electric package (a cut and finish with a senior stylist, plus a manicure for £70) is another great gift idea. Your mum deserves the best, and that is what all the Electric stylists are trained to deliver. So, whether she is looking for someone to give her that perfect cut and finish, or wants a completely new look, this is the gift for her. At Electric the customer is the most important person, so treat your mum to some special time with one of their highly trained stylists, and let their in-house beauty expert work her magic on your mum’s hands with a perfect manicure. You can order your vouchers for Mother's Day by calling the salon. Electric Hairdressing, 18 Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD, 01273 202088, www.electric-hair.com
Beauty Works Let your mum indulge this Mother’s Day with over an hour of heavenly relaxation and pampering for only £35. The Beautyworks Relaxation Ritual is a combination of a deeply relaxing back, neck and shoulder massage and half an hour’s reflexology, followed by an Indian head massage. For an extra £5, include the use of hot stones for complete relaxation. Gift vouchers for this treatment and many more packages are available from the online shop. Beauty Works, 2 Burlington Parade, Portslade, Brighton, East Sussex, BN41 2DJ, 01273 420198, www.beautyworks.net/shop
latesthomes.co.uk/brighton The No.1 property website for Brighton & Hove and Sussex
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000_LS464 Specs
2/24/10
2:48 PM
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22 Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 676 796 Mon – Sat 10am to 6pm, Sun 12pm to 4pm info@specsopticians.co.uk www.specsopticians.co.uk
ÂŁ50 off complete glasses until 6th April Terms and conditions apply. Coupon must be presented at time of sale and cannot be used retrospectively.
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Shine Salon What better gift for Mother's Day than some well deserved ‘me’ time? Shine Hair & Beauty is an Aveda salon in the heart of Brighton's North Laine. Every detail has been considered so mums can relax in comfort and style and just enjoy a well deserved treat. A friendly team of hair stylists and beauty therapists are on hand to make sure you leave your appointment looking and feeling fantastic. They all recognise the importance of getting a break from our hectic lifestyles; the most you'll need to worry about is which treatment or hairstyle to go for! Shine uses and stocks Aveda products as, like Shine, Aveda is all about natural beauty and great results. Its ingredients are ethically sourced and its hair colourants are up to 99 per cent naturally derived. The combination of Aveda's products and the salon's expertise will leave you with radiant skin and hair that shines. Treat your mum to a visit to Shine, where she'll be thoroughly spoilt. Shine offers relaxing massages, luxurious facials, revitalising body treatments, and the best in all aspects of hairdressing. Opt for a gift voucher and let your mum shine! Shine, 111 Gloucester Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 4AF, 01273 604404, www.shinehairgroup.com
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Dear Jacquie Your health queries answered with Jacquie Lane from the College of Naturopathic Medicine “I keep getting recurrent bouts of thrush. I’m also tired and I can’t concentrate. I’ve read that these can be symptoms of Candida. Is it worth me going on an anti-Candida diet and taking supplements?” RG, Kemp Town
Candida is a much used general term. Usually it refers to Candida Albicans. The condition can sometimes be caused by moulds like Aspergillus niger, the black mould you find in some bathrooms. Candida is a kind of yeast, a tiny single cell organism that in small numbers lives happily in our intestines. It is only when our immune system or ‘good’ gut flora is low that the cell count grows out of hand and causes symptoms. The main symptoms of Candida are: bloating, especially after eating; skin problems; lethargy and being more tired than usual; anal itching which is worse at night; frequent cystitis; nausea and acid regurgitation; frequent thrush; hyperactivity and lack of concentration in children; irregular passing of stools; hunger attacks and cravings, especially for sugar; food sensitivities; foggy head; painful joints, and winter blues. There is a lot of information on the internet and in books about Candida. Some of it is misleading.
symptoms are many and varied per person, and other conditions, such as pancreas insufficiency and parasites may present the same symptoms. If you can tick more than five symptoms from this list then I recommend seeing a therapist, who will be able to advise on the most appropriate testing solution to confirm whether Candida is the problem. I’ve seen patients who had put themselves on very restrictive long term anti-candida diets only to discover that in fact they didn’t have it to begin with. It is pointless wasting time and money on the wrong therapy! One of the most effective ways to truly know if you have Candida is to do a stool test. Once the tests confirm the problem, your therapist can devise a targeted therapy plan specifically for you. We’re lucky enough to have some brilliant therapists in the Brighton area. Additionally, The College of Naturopathic medicine runs a student clinic at weekends in Brighton at which final year students take cases under supervision. You can book an appointment by calling 07519 575 483. If you have a general health query that you would like to raise here you can email Jacquie at healthqueriesforWave@naturopathyuk.com. Please note that Jacquie cannot enter into individual correspondence unless your query is chosen for publication.
Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the College of Naturopathic Medicine (CNM) and the Director of Studies at CNM in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic in Brighton and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues.
CNM open day If you want to find out more about naturopathic nutrition or would like to train to be a nutritional therapist, join CNM for their open day at Brighton University on Saturday 6 March from 10am–12pm. Call 01342 410505 or visit www.naturopathy-uk.com
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answer, shoe size (Small: 3-4, Medium: 5-6, or Large: 7-8) and contact details, or write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your contact details. Closing date: 29 March 2010. www.butterflytwists.com
Beauty news, reviews and giveaways...
NATURAL BEAUTY SOLE SISTERS Butterfly Twists are the musthave shoes for those of us who can’t survive dancing the night away in three-inch heels – or those who just ‘don’t do heels’ in general. Butterfly Twists are the answer to your prayers – and your tired soles. Stars including Alesha Dixon have already bagged themselves a pair. They’re as comfortable as slippers, but as gorgeous as a dressy shoe, and come in an assortment of colours, embossed with a cute butterfly design. Dress up with an outfit for clubbing, wear to dinner, or team with skinny jeans in the day – these are versatile and most importantly, comfy! They’ve been road-tested by us here at Wave, and the response? Well, we didn’t want to take them off! Each pair comes with a carry bag, and the shoes fold up to fit into your bag when out clubbing. You will fall in love with everything about them – even the quirky packaging they come in. We are giving away two pairs of Butterfly Twists in ‘deep purple’, the new colour available this month. To bag your pair of Butterfly Twists (rrp: £15), tell us: What is a butterfly before it forms a chrysalis? Email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with your
WIN!
Toxins may just be a part of life, but if there’s a better alternative, then we’re going to take it. This month, we’re embracing the idea of a spring clean in the most literal of senses: cleaning our beauty drawer of products with harsh chemicals and toxins. After all, we’re thinking more about the foods we eat, opting for the organic alternative when we can, so what about the products that we put onto – which are then absorbed into – our skin? Hair colour has, for a long time, been one such product. It’s not absolutely necessary to use, but we all love experimenting, having a bit of a change, and covering those greys. But a natural route can be taken with your hair colour: enter Naturtint permanent hair colourant (rrp: £8.99), free from ammonia, resorcinol and parabens. Formulated with active vegetable extracts and natural ingredients it is kinder to strands as it colours with care. This season’s trend is to go brunette (stars including Agyness Deyn, Nicole Richie and Britney Spears have crossed over to the dark side). Naturtint’s 5N Light Chestnut Brown shade tops their colour chart, with its warm, rich hue. And if you don’t want to
go permanent, Naturtint’s semi-permanent colours last a month. www.naturesdream.co.uk Also catching our eye this month is the launch of the first UK-based, toxin-free nail polishes. Gentle and almost odourless, the water-based Mezaya range of nail polishes (£8.95) are free from chemical solvents such as toluene and acetate. They come in great colours, and the all-important top coat ensures longer wear and a high shine, while also being free of chemicals. Two coats is all you need for great colour; the range includes pinks and purple for spring, a cool blue for the ‘80s look and stunning darker shades. These polishes are great, especially for those with sensitive skin and conditions such as eczema. Mezaya’s non-toxic nail polish remover (£8.95) moisturises the nails and is also free from the potent chemical smell. www.toxicfreeboutique.com
PEACHY QUEEN Sian Disson rounds up the best beauty gifts for mums this Mother’s Day
LUSH, POTION BODY LOTION £8.70 for 250g, from www.lush.com Lush’s hugely popular Potion lotion smells of roses and tangerines, with heavy undertones of carnations. This summery softener has soothing almond oil and cocoa butter making it a sumptuous treat for the skin. INIKA MINERAL EYESHADOW IN PEACH FETISH £9.79, from www.inikacosmetics.co.uk Vibrant, soft and suitable for even the most sensitive of wave eyes, Peach Fetish is guaranteed to give you a beautiful healthy glow. Ingeniously, it can also be applied with a wet brush as a subtle eyeliner. ICOLONIALI ENERGIZING BATH CREAM £13.95 for 250ml, from www.melburys.co.uk Luxurious yet affordable silky bath cream, with uplifting Olibanum. Let your mum have a little extra ‘me’ time with this natural, fragrant elixir. MAVALA NAIL COLOURS £3.95 each, 01732 459412 for stockists. With microscopic air pockets to let
your nails breathe, Mavala Nail Colours are not only appealing to the eye, but are actually good for your nails! Choose pretty pastel shades in coral or peach for the coming spring and summer months. ORIGINS YOUTHTOPIA™ SPF 15 SKIN FIRMING FOUNDATION WITH RHODIOLA £24 for 30ml, from Boots stores, 0800 034 6522 for stockists. Specifically engineered for more mature skin, Youthtopia™ provides medium coverage while simultaneously firming, lifting and restoring a youthful radiance. Over time, this velvety foundation (available in eight shades) helps to naturally reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. ELEMIS PRO-RADIANCE CREAM CLEANSER £27 for 150ml and Cotton Facial Mitt, from Elemis spas & salons and online at www.timetospa.co.uk Delicate and rich, this anti-aging cream cleanser gently and effectively removes make-up whilst nourishing the skin. From
trusted leading skincare specialists Elemis, this unique formula contains ‘superberry’ Assai Fruit and Shea Butter to boost the skin’s radiance and intensely moisturise. JANE SCRIVNER ROSE wave GOLD SKIN ATTAR £49 for 50ml, from www.janescrivner.com This fragrant, silky moisturiser contains pure Bulgarian Rose Otto and Organic Jojoba oils to replenish tired skin and reduce redness. It may have a luxury price tag, but your mum’s worth it! follow me on twitter
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Can help with: Smoking cessation Public Speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Phobias Weight management Self hypnosis FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices
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EYES WIDE SHUT Zara Baker closes her eyes and opens her mind to Kundalini yoga practice at Yogahaven undalini yoga is ‘the yoga of awareness’. Having never experienced this form of yoga practice before, I head for Yogahaven in Kendal Street – a warm and welcoming environment where you are greeted by calming incense – to meet Kundalini yoga teacher Jo Linney before taking part in a class. I want to hear Jo’s own reasons for practising yoga, and how it has impacted on her life. I also want to know more about this ‘yoga of awareness’ and what is in store for the 75 minute class. For Jo, Kundalini yoga is about the transformational quality of the practise, moving the life-energy through dynamic exersises, breathing techniques, relaxation, and meditation to experiencing your true self. In her words, “it lets me be more me,” – both in the way she sees things and her inner experiences. Jo also explains that Kundalini yoga is practised with the eyes closed, which allows you to focus on, and contain, the flow of energy through both movements and breath. I had anticipated myself earnestly trying to copy Jo’s moves while mentally trying to think calm thoughts. Having my eyes closed put a new spin on exercise. For once, I can really focus on the movement and how each stretch and breath is making me feel. I find I can control my breathing – in and out through the nose – the whole time. Jo guides us through a warm-up, showing us breathing exercises and stretches we are to repeat with our eyes closed. A set of exercises – kriya – follows. These vary between classes. We hold a pose for 30 seconds and then transfer to the other side of the body. This is then repeated, alternating sides, the movements becoming quicker, our minds focusing on the flow of both movement and breath. A deep relaxation section follows in which we are gently coaxed into letting go, clearing our minds, being aware of our breath – and then nothing at all. I find switching off extremely hard to do, but this is the closest I’ve come in a long time to simply relaxing. It’s a technique Jo encourages us to try at home, and something we should all find the time to do, no matter how busy our lifestyle. A meditation closes the class, using sounds and vibrations, which encourages us to be more aware of our inner self. Yogahaven offers classes to suit all levels and abilities in many different types of yoga, all taking place in one of their two studios in Kendal House. But being in touch with my whole self through Kundalini yoga – as Jo had rightly put it at the start – made me more self aware and able to be more, well, me. Yogahaven, Kendal House, Donkey Mews, Brunswick Street East, Hove, BN3 1AW, 01273 329642, www.yogahaven.co.uk
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The Foundations Of Kundalini Yoga Workshop Experience the different aspects of the Kundalini yoga practice and how it can impact our lives. This workshop is a great introduction to Kundalini yoga. Yoga teacher Jo Linney will guide you through a fun combination of dynamic exercises, breathing techniques, relaxation and meditation. The workshop takes place at Yogahaven on Saturday 20 March, from 2–4pm, and costs £15. For more info or to book a place call Jo on 07906 948472, email jo.linney@yahoo.co.uk or contact Yogahaven on 01273 329642.
Make the change Wednesday 10 March is No Smoking Day. Zara Baker looks at ways to quit the habit ast year’s No Smoking Day saw one in 12 women (an impressive 366,000) kick the habit from that day forward. This year it takes place on Wednesday 10 March with the aim of helping more people than ever break free. Realising this is easier said than done, No Smoking Day is intended as a starting point. It may not happen straight away, but registering your intentions is the first step. With a variety of methods available to help people quit smoking, and with no end of support available, many people are choosing to give up smoking this month. People want to quit for a number of reasons, as people strive to live a healthier and longer life. The NHS Stop Smoking ad campaign involves appeals from children who want their parents to quit, showing another key influence in stopping smoking – the family and loved ones it affects too. There’s also the money side of things to consider. For someone who smokes on average 20 cigarettes a day, quitting can save a staggering £180 a month. Just thinking about what this money could go toward is a great incentive. In terms of looks, smoking ages and dulls the skin quickly; nicotine stains the teeth, and hair can be lifeless and brittle as it’s starved of oxygen. Even your sex life can be affected by smoking, as it can lead to hormonal imbalances, affecting your libido. Whatever your reasons, finding the support to help you is best. The options available are vast, and finding what suits your lifestyle and needs will ultimately help you to quit smoking for life. The NHS offer a number of services and support: Nicotine Replacement Therapy is one option, where gum and patches replace cigarettes. The NHS Together Programme reflects what No Smoking Day is all about: not being alone. In this Programme, smokers and ex-smokers give free advice and encouragement to one another. This is through mail
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packs, emails, texts or phonecalls – whichever method is preferred. The NHS Stop Smoking Service offers one-to-one talks and sharing of experiences, again providing a ‘buddy system’. The Quit Kit from the NHS is the place to start, offering support, advice and contacts. Another option is hypnotherapy, which works by engaging the unconscious mind as well as the conscious one. Jonathan Conway is an established hypnotherapist in Brighton, and has helped people transform their lives through hypnosis. “By directing suggestions to the unconscious mind it is possible to bypass the usual conscious and rational responses,” he says. “It could be described as a more child-like pattern of response and it becomes possible to access resources that may not be in conscious awareness. It can be very useful in helping a person to become a non smoker, as well as becoming more confident in general.” To stop smoking, two sessions are usually needed. In this time, Jonathan explores the individual’s background, their lifestyle, family and work. Through hypnosis, the person can visualise the healthy changes happening, meaning they can go on to succeed. As a symbol of change, cigarettes and lighters will be thrown away, and a new way of thinking – as a non-smoker – introduced. Maximise your chances of quitting by using the professional support available and choosing the method that best suits your lifestyle to quit your nicotine dependence for life. For more tips on quitting and to be a part of No Smoking Day 2010 visit www.nosmokingday.org.uk, www.smokefree.nhs.uk Jonathan Conway, Hypnotherapist, NLP Master Practitioner & Coach: 01273 540425/07956 855027 www.jonathanconway.co.uk follow me on twitter
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At-Ma in Concert : East meets West Saturday 20th March 2010 7 - 9.30pm St Nicholas’ Church, Dyke Rd, Brighton Fundraising concert in support of the Livingstone Tanzania Trust Tickets £10 available on the door or tel 01323 469321 / 01323 727183 & online at www.holisticchannel.org.uk
ARE YOU SPIRITUAL BUT NOT RELIGIOUS? Tailor-made wedding ceremonies, personal funerals, blessings for babies and spiritual mentoring. Annie Blampied is an experienced Interfaith Minister and spiritual teacher. Her passion is sharing joy and freedom by moving through and beyond forgiveness. www.annieblampied.co.uk Tel. 01342 825511
Josephine Percival RN MSc MCPH DSEH Integrative Health Specialist Experienced practitioner treating a wide variety of conditions in adults & children Teaching methods & techniques for self-care & self-healing
T: 07952 003043 E: info@wisewomanhealing.co.uk www.wisewomanhealing.co.uk Consultations available in Hove or by telephone Home visits by arrangement Some techniques used include: Energy Healing • Interactive Guided Imagerysm • Breathwork • Stress Management Healing offered for animals Free 15 minute telephone consultation
Advertise here and reach over 100,000 healh-conscious readers Call advertising on 01273 818150
Revitalise
t’s been heard on more than one occasion – ‘central Hove is crying out for a decent Health Shop’. Well now you need look no further. Revitalise, opposite Hove Town Hall, has just completed it's ground floor conversion into a fantastic Health shop, whilst the remaining four floors continue to offer the usual popular range of complementary therapies and classes. The Health shop is stocked with a wide range of Infinity Foods, supplements, herbal remedies, homeopathic remedies, aromatherapy products, flower remedies, natural and organic body care products and lots of fantastic gift ideas. A nutritionist will be working in the store six days a week, on hand to offer advice to customers. Clare Brown, who has set the shop up, explains, “we are extremely excited about this. I am in a fortunate position where I have been able to consult with our nutritional, homeopathic, colonic hydrotherapy, flower remedy and skin care therapists to ensure I have sourced the best and most effective products available on the market. “Many of our suppliers are local businesses with a commitment to the environment and links to charities that we are proud to support. I am anticipating that the shop will grow over the next few months as we respond to customer feedback and requests, and we see this as a work in progress. “We are committed to offering a superb range of quality organic, fair trade, vegan, vegetarian and gluten-free products, as well as a variety of natural healthcare options, and have the added advantage of a nutritionist working in the shop to assist our customers.” During our official launch month of March 2010 we are giving away a FREE power plate class voucher (worth £20) with every spend over £25, a FREE £10 voucher for any of our therapies, and a FREE power plate class with any spend over £50 (terms & conditions apply). We are also giving all customers who make a purchase during the month of March a 10% discount card they can use for limitless repeat visits for six months. For more information call 01273 738389, log onto www.revitalise-u.com or e-mail health@revitalise-u.com
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FREE POWER PLATE TRIAL. CALL 01273 738389 AND BOOK NOW! Power Plate machines aid weight loss, tone muscles, reduce the appearance of cellulite, and increase your overall fitness and wellbeing in as little as two 25-minute classes a week.
Revitalise, 86 Church Road (Opp. Hove Town Hall), Hove BN3 2EB 01273 738 389 health@revitalise-u.com www.revitalise-u.com
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Food & Drink Andrew Kay gets a taste of Kerala at Rasa in Brighton
Rasa mataz ew Indian on the block is Rasa. It comes with a long track record and a chain of sister restaurants that stretches to the far north east. Taking over the space left by Momma Cherri is bound to prompt comparisons but there are none to be drawn. The decorators have been in and painted the place pink, and I mean PINK. It's the house look and, although unusual, is fun and effective. But before I dwell too long on the decor, making you think that I was not impressed with the food, I will move on. It was a pretty bleak evening, the kind that makes people stay home, but Rasa was already buzzing when we arrived. The cuisine is southern Indian and specifically Keralan. I have some knowledge of the style from years living in South London where the Tooting Bhel Poori mile was a massive draw. The menu at Rasa is refreshingly short and far more in line with better Indian restaurants where you are less likely to be treated to the dubious delights of what I would describe as the old school brown curry. You know what I mean by that, a standard “Special note must sauce into which various extras are thrown at the last minute. I be made of a delicious am confident that there was none of this going on at Rasa. bread, a spiralling flaky I handed the gauntlet to the very competent waiter, asking dough that was buttery him, or the chef, to choose a and sweet and left me meal for us that would be balanced and not too large. almost whimpering He smiled, clearly delighted to have been asked. First out with delight” was a basket of crisp nibbles that included spicy and plain popadoms. Excellent as they were, they were eclipsed by a pretty flower-shaped crisp and some ragged-edged crunchy things. All were great and served with some really top notch pickles, yoghurt, lemon, garlic, mixed vegetable and chili among them. I polished off the garlic almost single-handed. To follow came four fat, deepfried prawns in a lightly spiced batter. Good prawns too, with taught flesh and a rich flavour. The batter was thin and delicately spiced, not overpowering. With them came a dish of fried slices of aubergine. I love aubergine cooked almost any way you like. I say that with caution as I have had some truly repulsive aubergine dishes, but this was good, very fine slices with what was turning out to be a signature delicate touch with the spice box. Our main course was perfectly balanced. I had asked for there not to be too much food and they came up with just the right amount of. Let me start with the rice – lemon rice that hummed with the aroma of citrus, really first class. The vegetable dish of very finely diced carrot, green bean and coconut
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was dry and yet strangely refreshing, crunchy and sweet and utterly moreish. Alongside that was a dish of yoghurt with mango and green banana to add that soft creamy element to the meal. My curry of spiced crab claws was good too, again dry, again expertly spiced, and if I had any complaint it would be that it was not easy to eat. Mr R gets a little impatient when I order crab as it always takes so long to eat. His curry of lamb was amazing, the meat slow cooked so that it fell apart at a mere whisper; rich, dark and very satisfying. Once again it was a fairly dry dish too, which meant that there was more meat than gravy, something all too common in some Indian restaurants. Special note must be made of a delicious bread, a spiralling flaky dough that was buttery and sweet and left me almost whimpering with delight. To finish, a small dish of scented rice pudding made me grin, and Mr R was won over by a halva-like sweet made of carrot and served with mango sorbet. By the time we had finished, Rasa was full on the ground floor but with room still upstairs. It's a big space to fill completely and always has been. That said, Rasa is very keenly priced with no scarily expensive dishes that I could see. And given that plenty of passers by were reading the menu and coming in, I would say that most people were finding the menu inexpensive enough to give it a chance. So Rasa won me over, and I will certainly be back to have another rummage around a list of unfamiliar dishes in the hope of finding more delights. Oh, and for lots lots more of that heavenly bread. Rasa, 2-3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.rasarestaurants.com What’s your favorite Brighton curry house? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
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028_LS464_Hotlist
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L7 Hotlist
Cocoa Patisserie
Eateries and bars catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Koba Bar and Venue Restaurants Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the British & modern European Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
The Gallery The Gallery restaurant is Brighton’s little gem – an independent British restaurant located in the heart of the North Lanes. The Gallery prides itself on serving the very best fresh, locally sourced, seasonal food, with a menu created by their head chef Mosa Jobi, who joined the team from the Dorchester Mayfair hotel in 2007. The restaurant offers a welcoming environment to celebrate any occasion. The Gallery Restaurant, 28 East Street, Brighton, BN11HL, 01273 773327
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Winner of two coveted AA Rosettes, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three , Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori Established in 1987 and set in a 16th century building, Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori carefully blends Bangladeshi & Indian influences, creating great food and an atmosphere with a difference. It’s not just a meal, but an experience. Why not come down and see for yourself? Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori, 130–136 Old London Road, Patcham, Brighton, BN1 8YA, 01273 507075
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi.Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
029_LS464_Stage
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> send your stage listings to stage@thelatest.co.uk
L7 WHAT’S ON
Culture Clash Andrew Kay talks to Steve North as he returns to punk play Meeting Joe Strummer
You were in the original production of Meeting Joe Strummer, which won a Fringe First in 2006. Is it good returning to the play? Yeah, it’s really good. We have a great actor playing Mick, called Jason Peters. A Brighton boy. Has Paul Hodson, the playwright, changed it in anyway? No, it’s pretty much the same. There’re a few tweaks but generally... you don’t change a winning team. It’s a great play and it’s such a good script. It obviously changes in some ways because there’s a new actor playing one part. The play is about your two fans rather than Joe Strummer himself... It’s a play about friendships actually; it charts a thirty year friendship, seeing how a particular kind of male friendship works. I think that’s interesting for blokes of a certain age, and also women who have husbands or boyfriends. Are you suggesting women should come so they can understand why men need their blokey mates? Yeah, it would help. Paul’s work often touches on those kind of relationships. You’ve worked with Paul many times, is it still a good working relationship? Well he’s in the room so I’m gonna
have to say yeah! But, yeah he is so good. I was joking the other day ’cos I'd have been unemployed over the last ten years if it wasn’t for him. On my stag night, the best man wrote all my acting jobs as a joke. And I was going, “hell! If I hadn’t met Paul Hodson 20 years ago, I wouldn’t have worked”. Did you ever meet Joe Strummer? I did yeah, twice, but only in really kinda ‘fan-ny’ way. I saw The Clash when I was 14 and I went back stage with my mate. The Clash have this big thing about letting all their fans in, to meet them after a gig. They were really chilled, Mick Jones and Joe Strummer. It was a really nerve wracking but incredibly exciting experience. He played Brighton, just before he died, down at Concorde, and I met Chris from Blanche House who knew him from the Groucho. And he was friends with him. He said, “Joe’s coming back for a drink after, do you
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want to come back?” and I was kinda like “yeah okay” but hell, this was like a huge thing you know! I was with Nick Miles who played the original Nick in the play and we both went back and had a drink, then another and another, and then it got to one in the morning and I thought, he's not coming. Suddenly he just appeared in the bar and Chris showed him over and he just sat down next to me. I was so drunk I just garbled to him, “You changed my life”, and he just kinda looked at me and smiled. I was walking home thinking “oh you idiot, you’ve been waiting for so many years” but of course, you can't tell someone like that how you really feel, and that’s what I think is so fantastic about the play. It does go into all nature of celebrity and fandom and what that really means. In the end, you don't know that person, you know what Joe Strummer means to you.
> Tuesday 2 to Monday 15 March >
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH, 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Ballet Boyz All-male dance troupe with choreography by Freddie Opoku-Addaie and a re-working of Russell Maliphant’s ‘Torsion’. >12 March, 7.30pm, £16
THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Haunted Niall Buggy and Brenda Blethyn star in this updated version of Edna O’Brien’s play. >Until 6 March, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28 Hedda Gabler Ibsen’s ‘female Hamlet’, with Rosamund Pike and Tim McInnerny. >8–13 March, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28 Wife After Death Fast-paced comedy starring Tom Conti. >17–20 March, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu & Sat, £13–£28
EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Never Mind The Buzzards TV wildlife expert Chris Packham’s informative,
UPSTAIRS AT THREE AND TEN, BRIGHTON 07800 983290 www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk Bane II One-man comedic film noir parody and dark comic tale of revenge.
CONCERT HALL, BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Danza Contemporanea de Cuba Cuban ensemble’s first ever major UK tour, fusing contemporary and classical movement with Afro-Caribbean and Spanish styles. >2–3 March, 7.30pm, £10–22.50 Kodo Taiko Drummers Japanese drumming and physical theatre. >4 March, 7.30pm, £18.50–22.50
at the time and went straight into it. I was just catapulted into this huge series – I mean at the time it was getting 18 million viewers. So it was a very bizarre experience. I’d deal with it better now. Is there a new audience for Meeting Joe Strummer? Yeah, it’s like the punk generation have grown up and all their kids have got into it. So we get different generations in the audience. Meeting Joe Strummer, Komedia, March 10, 0845 293 8480 www.komedia.co.uk/brighton
Did you attain celebrity when you did London’s Burning? Oh God! Yeah, yeah, I’ve been all through that, I was quite young at the time. The casting director had seen the show at drama school and just rang me up, I didn’t even have an agent
lively and entertaining new show. >6 March, 7.30pm, £16.50
BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk The Seagull Anton Chekhov’s classic, translated by Tom Stoppard. >9–13 March, 7.30pm, £7.50
Stage
Brighton seems more obsessed with celebrity than anywhere else. The play really touches on that and the character Nick is a soap actor who was a punk. It’s all about ‘livin’ your life’ and where you end up and the compromises you make. People do end up thinking, “I’m gonna live my life a certain way”, and then you get mortgages and relationships and jobs and family and all kinds of things come into play...
Stagelistings THE BASEMENT, BRIGHTON 01273 699733 www.thebasement.uk.com This Is Now Dance duo New Art Club deconstruct the first Now That’s What I Call Music CD from the ’80s. >11 March, 7.30pm, £8
STAGE 29
Winner of a Fringe Review Award at the Brighton Fringe 2009. >6 March, 6pm, £8 Huis Clos Jean-Paul Sartre’s play about three people trapped in a room with ‘no exit’. Presented by Brighton Young Actors Theatre Company. >9–11 March, 7.30pm, £6 WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 Frankie And Johnny In The Clair De Lune Kelly McGillis and Rolf Saxon star in this new production of Terrence McNally’s classic love story, set in ’80s New York. >2–6 March, 7.30pm, 2pm matinee Wed & 2.30pm matinee Sat, £14.50–£23.50 WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Hot Flush Musical comedy starring Lesley Joseph. >3 March, 8pm, £8/£19.50
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 2 March to Monday 8 March > > send your club listings to clubs@thelatest.co.uk
> Tuesday 2 to Monday 8 March > > send your music listings to music@thelatest.co.uk
>highlight This new night just got a PHD in Entertainment-ology and sets up practice in Coalition! Work spins you fast like a kaleidoscope, all you’ve got is Coalition’s floor. Yeah, you can try but LadyBex found you the antidote: music is the cure! No more banks, killing my emotion, my assets won’t be frozen, cheap drinks at club Remedy, remedy! So come get a filthy midweek inoculation of electro, dance, indie, R’n’B, rock, pop, the lot and maybe even some more of this whimsical lyricism! Job done. Wednesday 3 March, Brighton Coalition
TUESDAY 2 AUDIO New Slang.Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Lively disco beats. 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 JAM Pot Kettle Black. Spanking new indie bash playing retro to now. 10pm–2am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–2.30am, free b4 11, £3/2 after PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, free/£3
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WEDNESDAY 3 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. 11pm–3am, £1 LIFE Broke. Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 10.30pm–2.30am, £4/1
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AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free CONCORDE 2 Kings Of The Jungle. Smashin' jungle and D'n'B from major scene players and Dubplate slayers. 11pm, £8 DIGITAL Pussycat Club: Geek, Chic or Unique. Hedonistic bash of costumes, funky electro and Dirty House. 11pm–4am, £15/12 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove cut up and mashed up by Juice Fm's Mike Panteli. 11pm, £10/8 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 JAM Doctor's Orders Pub Quiz & Club. Boom-bap, soul and new bangers. 9pm–3am, £4/5 KOMEDIA Guilty Pleasures. Join them on the dance floor for a dazzling night of top pop revelry! 11pm, £10 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 THE LOFT 13 Monsters. High-Brow party for early adopters throwing out Drumtrax, Alt-Guitar Junk, Hip Hop and Future Jack Swing. 11pm–3am, £5/4 VOLKS Psychedelicious. Electro-tech progressive phatness! 11pm–5am, £8
Mika Everyone's favourite camp-as-Christmas falsetto popstrel returns. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £25.54 Stiff Little Fingers From the number of veteran acts touring, it seems old punks never die. This trailblazing lot are vastly superior to the rest. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £16 Tubelord + Tall Ships Heavyish pop rockers. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6.50 When I'm Pretty Brighton Special: Plus + DJ Tendraw + Adam Lygo and EMB + DJ Melita Experimental weirdness curated by Kemp Town's performance art-punk-proggers Plus. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £4
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SUNDAY 7
THURSDAY 4 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Steady On. 10.30pm–3.30am, free JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. ‘50s R’n’B and original Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3 LIFE Shameless. 11pm, £1 VOLKS Auxiliary. Weekend sampler with massive D’n’B beats from Jayden. 10pm–4am, £2 b4 11
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FRIDAY 5 BRIGHTON COALITION Sneaker Social Club. Forward thinking club music for the sxneaker lover... 10.30pm, £8/5 DIGITAL Stonelove. 11pm–3am, £4 HONEY CLUB Hardsouth. The south coast's Diamond blasting hard dance night. 11pm–5am, £10/5 JAM Don't Stop Believing. Pop and indie guilty pleasures. 11pm–3am, free
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Dizzee Rascal The grime innovator and bona fide pop superstar makes Brighton his own. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £20.43 Lisa Mitchell Sugary folk pop performer who has supported Newton Faulkner. Komedia, 8pm, £6 Seven Year Kismet + Eleventh Apparition + HTBM + Blind Eye Fury + Kickfist Nicely nastysounding thrash metal night headlined by the gruff Seven Year Kismet. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £7/5
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BRIGHTON COALITION Frequency. Delivering a range of house/breaks/electro. 10pm, free CONCORDE 2 A Certain Ratio + Danny Rampling. Two rooms of live funk, house and electro raising money for The Children's Burns Trust. 5pm, £15
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MONDAY 8 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free LIFE AKA AKA ROAR. Sounds from the full dub-step spectrum, past and future. 10pm–2.30am, £2 b4 12
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LIFE Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box. Fidget, bass and firing electro. 11pm–3am, £6/4 NEW HERO Somewhere In The Universe. Leading alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5 PAVILION TAVERN KOTJ. Loud, dirty rock ‘n’ roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 PO NA NA Ice Box. Be blown sideways by awesome Funk, Soul, House and dance floor cutz. 10pm, £6/5 VOLKS Sicknote. Techno splices psytrance with Carl Falk playing a massive three-deck set! 11pm–6am, £7
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latestjaime
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THURSDAY 4 Beachy Head Music Club Six-piece blending funk and pop with self-deprecation. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £tbc Kodo Taiko Drummers Acclaimed traditional Japanese percussion. Brighton Dome Concert Hall, 8pm, £18.50–£25 Red Stripe Music Award 2010 Unsigned band showcase. For more info on getting your band heard go to www.redstripe.net Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc
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FRIDAY 5 Acoustic Ladyland Forward-thinking electrofunk-soul types acclaimed by all and sundry. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £tbc Blood Red Shoes Two of Brighton's somewhat unsung musical heroes, these grunge-pop rockers preview their new album. Komedia, 8pm, £8 Brighton Jazz Club: Phronesis feat. Ivo Neame Weekly jazz gathering. Komedia, 8pm, £12 Itchy Fingers Classic rock covers band. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £6 Jerry Dammers’ Spatial A.K.A Orchestra The founder of ska legends The Specials presents a project paying tribute to innovative jazz, reggae and ska music. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £17–£20 JLS The X Factor runners-up and probably the show's biggest group success. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £22.99–27.08 The Antlers Yet another tender-sounding
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Brooklyn indie act weaving epic instrumentation with catchy songwriting. Hanbury Club, 7.30pm, £8
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SATURDAY 6 Doll And The Kicks Brighton indie rockers seemingly constantly on the verge of something big. Audio, 7pm, £tbc Joana And The Wolf + Nila And The Rajas Rockers who have supported James Dean Bradfield, played the Great Escape and sung on Kasabian's ‘Empire’. The Hope, 7.30pm, £3 Micachu and the Shapes + Speech Debelle + The Invisible Featuring last year's Mercury winner, genre-blending rapper Speech Debelle. De La Warr Pavilion, 7.30pm, £12 Ronan Keating The Boyzone star and mum's favourite pop vocalist. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £30 Tom McRae And about time too! The frankly great, ever-touring acoustic singer-songwriter returns to Brighton. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £14 White Hills + Pontiak + Enos Yay! Distinctive heavy New York psyche-rockers both similar to the great Tool and King Crimson but with altogether their own sound. See them or fail. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £7
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SUNDAY 7 A Certain Ratio + Danny Rampling Charity show for the Factory Records and 'Madchester' funk/punk legends. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £15 Baby Dee Androgynous Cleveland, Ohio torch singer and fully-fledged member of Antony and the Johnsons' creative clique. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £10 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert featuring Bach, Barber, Bridge, Gough and Tchaikovsky. Brighton Dome, 2.45pm, £8–£32 Club Meow: The Meow Meows Monthly live music and DJs spectacular hosted by the Meow Meows and their bestest buddies. Prince Albert,7.30pm, £5 Ex-Lovers Solid melancholy indie-pop in the vein of The Cure or The Smiths. The Hope, 7.30pm, £5 Mama Rosin Cajun-sounding soul trio. Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £5
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MONDAY 8 Viv Albertine (The Slits) + Little Eris and the Molecules + Wet Dog Solo show from the former member of punks The Slits. Prince Albert , 7.30pm, £8 Kate Nash Last minute show from the Spektorloving mockney turned alt.rock type. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50
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Nick Aldwinckle
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> send your music listings to music@thelatest.co.uk Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 2 to Monday 8 March >
MIKA Flamboyant hi-energy orchestral pop from this talented Lebanese-born musician. Combining high melodrama with darker elements, The Boy Who Knew Too Much employs his extraordianary vocal range in singing about his adolescent years. Wednesday 3 March, Brighton Centre
MUSIC 31
With Jeff Hemmings
HUSKY RESCUE Still making otherworldly ambient indie pop, this Finnish band are signed to Brighton’s Catskills Records and are just about to release a new album. As composer and founder Marko Nyberg puts it, ‘the music is designed to be a warm breeze to counter the chill of daily life’! Thursday 4 March, The Hanbury Club
TOM MCRAE Ever since his Mercury Music Prize-nominated debut in 2001, Tom McRae has continued to make some of the most interesting acoustic-based music, culminating in his superb new album, The Alphabet Of Hurricanes. Saturday 6 March, Concorde 2
A CERTAIN RATIO Semi-legendary Manchester band who formed in ‘78 and were an integral part of the Factory/ Hacienda scenes. Never hugely successful, they remain a very influential band whose punk-funk style has received countless namechecks in recent years. Part-timers now, they released their first new material in ten years with Mind Made Up in 2008, and this gig is the only one booked so far this year. The event is a fundraiser for the Children’s Burns Trust and also features Transformer and legendary DJ Danny Rampling. Sunday 7 March, Concorde 2
MAMA ROSIN Extraordinary Swiss Cajun/Zydeco subversives who trash all with amped-up/echoed-up melodeon, guitar, banjo, rub-board and some serious drumming. Somehow Mama Rosin found the original soul of Louisiana on the banks of Lake Geneva. Along with Mudlow and DJ Charlie Hangdog. Sunday 7 March, Latest Musicbar
TULL TALES
Jethro Tull’s eccentric flute-playing frontman, Ian Anderson, on punk, musicians’ pay, and his lost career as a policeman ormed in 1968 by a self-proclaimed group of hungry, destitute yet optimistic musicians, and armed with a love of the blues, Jethro Tull eventually became one of the most successful – and then one of the most derided – of progressive rock bands. Various band members have come and gone (30 and counting) but songwriter, flautist and English eccentric Ian Anderson has always been at the helm. “I was going to be a policeman,” says Anderson from his home base in Wiltshire; “maybe even a TV cop,” he laughs. Anderson has been around long enough to have digested all sorts of music, from the wartime-era jazz of his dad’s old 78s to the post-war folk and skiffle music, through the beat, blues and jazz booms of the ‘60s – and all are influences on the Jethro Tull sound. “I loved skiffle, people like Lonnie Donegan,” he says. “It was the organic roughness that appealed to me. As a teenager it modified into black acoustic blues by people like Sonny Terry, and then in the ‘60s I got into bebop and free jazz, work by artists such as Ornette Coleman and Sun Ra.” From their early beginnings as a British blues band, via several hits including ‘Living In The Past’, to their very challenging albums of the ‘70s such as the infamous Thick As A Brick, Jethro Tull rivalled the likes of The Rolling Stones, Elton John and Led Zeppelin for popularity. They made a lot
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of money at the time, something which Anderson thinks is much harder to do nowadays. “When I’m listening to musicians on MySpace or YouTube I realise how little prospect they have to actually get paid for what they do. But you still have to spend time and money to sell records. It must be very galling for musicians and record companies.” There’s no stopping Anderson when on a roll. The conversation regularly returns to the cyclical nature of music, and to punk music, which he says effectively sidelined acts such as Jethro Tull for a number of years. “I saw The High Numbers in Blackpool and I thought they weren’t very good. They went on to become The Who! They stood out, like The Stones, as irreverent and in-yer-face... anti-showbiz. Suddenly, a few years later, we were into punk, even though we’d been there before with acts like MC5 [who opened for the ‘Tull back in 1969]. Of course, some of the punks were old hippies like Sting and Hugh Cornwell. Even Johnny Rotten was a closet fan of prog! I saw him a few years ago embracing Phil Collins, like a long-lost brother, and he even complimented me... Punk was just another vehicle for people to have a go.” Jethro Tull, 10 March, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome
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Book yours now at Latest Musicbar. Every Saturday in April now booked but dates in May onwards available.
19th MARCH
Friday 12th March £15
CONCORDE 2 Doors 7pm Show 7.30pm
Call Ruth or Angi 01273 687171
latestjeff
www.concorde2.co.uk
01273 673311
STEVE SPALL & GUESTS For bookings call 01825 790200
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 2 to Monday 8 March > > send your events listings to events@thelatest.co.uk
> Tuesday 2 to Monday 8 March > > send your art listings to art@thelatest.co.uk
THE SPACE
The Land Girls
Brighton’s unique arts and media event brings together the creative community with special guest interviews. This month Briggie Smales will introduce legendary television comedy producer John Howard Davies, best known as a director and producer of seminal British sitcoms including Monty Python's Flying Circus, Fawlty Towers, The Goodies and The Fall And Rise of Reginald Perrin. He’ll be joined by leading music arranger Sally Herbert, who has worked with the cream of British music, providing arrangements for Florence And The Machine, Radiohead, Robbie Williams, Travis, Kylie, Manic Street Preachers and Muse. There will also be a special performance from Brighton based songwriter, Paul Diello, described as a cross between Antony & The Johnsons and Eddie Izzard. The Space, The Basement, Thursday 4 March, 7.30pm, £6, tickets available from www.thespace.me.uk
Only a couple of weeks left to see this major exhibition that focuses on the often overlooked but vital contribution of the Women’s Land Army to the war effort on the home front, and the role of Sussex women drafted in to provide agricultural labour while male farm workers were drafted into the armed services. The Land Girls: Cinderellas of the Soil, Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 01273 290900. Until 14 March
Cambodia Children’s Art Exhibition The Cambodian Children’s Paintings Project works with underprivileged children in Sihanoukville, Cambodia to develop their artistic skills. BMC Gallery is host to a fundraising event on behalf of the project, including an auction of some of the work. Cambodian Children’s Art Fundraising Event, Brighton Media Centre, 01273 201100, www.letuscreatecambodia.org. 6 March, 7-9pm.
Events highlights
Gilly McFadden
THURSDAY 4 MARCH
FRIDAY 5 MARCH
Hammer and Tongue Monthly performance poetry and spoken word night featuring Ros Barber, who apparently ‘makes the iambic pentameter sound as if she just invented it’. Plus the flamboyant Elvis McGonagall and an Open Slam – sign up early to perform. Hosted by Rosy Carrick and Mike Parker. Komedia Studio Bar, 7.30pm, £5, www.hammerandtongue.co.uk
Don't Feed The Poets Return of this classic show, with comedy, poetry and music from some of the UK's best literary talent. Hosted by Justin Rhymes. Upstairs At Three And Ten, Brighton, 8pm, £7/£5. Visit www.stellanursery.com/otherplace for more details.
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Employing traditional silkscreen methods to create striking and evocative images of wild plants, Gilly McFadden finds her inspiration in long walks through the lanes and downland of Sussex, observing the amazing structures in hedgerows and waysides. She then uses the silkscreen process to deconstruct the form, hoping to create a new understanding of these plants and their innate beauty. Gilly McFadden, Pelham House, Lewes, 01273 488600. Until 7 April
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SATURDAY 6–SUNDAY 7 MARCH Rock, Gem And Bead Show Around 65 different exhibitors and traders with a wide variety of inspirations and sparkly treasures. Brighton Racecourse, Saturday 10am–5pm, Sunday 10am–4pm. Visit www.brightonracecourse.co.uk for more information
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SUNDAY 7 MARCH Clowns Parade Annual and very popular parade of 100 clowns through the centre of Bognor Regis. The multitude of brightly coloured funny-men will be led by a jazz band. Approx 2–4pm. Starts at Butlins day visitor entrance in Gloucester Road, Bognor Regis. For further details call Sue Holmes on 01243 825535
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Cream II Following on from the success of last year’s inaugural showcase of some of the best BA photography graduates from 2008, Cream II: A Showcase of Graduate Photography Talent features some of the most interesting and diverse photographic graduates to emerge from 2009, from Westminster, Glasgow, Derby and Newport. Cream II, Crane Kalman, Kensington Gardens, 01273 697096. Until 4 April
tuesday march 2 see website for details
wednesday march 3 when i'm pretty-brighton special plus + dj tendraw + adamlygo&emb + dj melita 8pm £4
thursday march 4 the beachy head music club as british as fish&chips yet shockingly cheerful 8pm £6
manchester street, brighton tel.
friday march 5
sunday march 7
itchy fingers rock classics to get you up on your feet and dancing 8pm £6
mama rosin swiss cajun/zydeco subversives with amped-up,echoed-up melodeon, guitar, banjo, rub board and serious drumming +mudlow+dj charlie hangdog 8pm £5
saturday march 6 private party book your private party, wedding or anniversary contact ruth or megan on 01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk
01273 687171
monday march 8 see website for details
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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Supported by
FILM Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG)
filmhighlight
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Dir: Chris Columbus
Percy knew he was special when he discovered he could stay underwater for an incredible amount of time. What he didn’t guess was that this was because his dad is Poseidon. After discovering his parentage, it’s not long before he’s trying to stop a war of the gods. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing
Showing this week The Lovely Bones (12A) Dir: Peter Jackson
Told from the perspective of recently departed 14-year-old Susie Salmon, this follows her family as they deal with the grief and fallout from her brutal murder. Trying to nudge Mum (Rachel Weisz) and Dad (Mark Wahlberg) in the right direction, she sees they have all the pieces to solve her crime but frustratingly cannot put them together. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Exit Through The Gift Shop (15) Dir: Banksy
Alice In Wonderland (PG)
From Paris With Love (15)
Dir: Tim Burton
Dir: Pierre Morel
The master of the gothic film turns his eye to the tales of Lewis Carroll, picking up on the Alice stories, with Alice herself (Mia Wasikowska) now a grown 19 year old destined to be married to a rich suitor. When she runs away from a party held in her honour into the grounds of a Victorian house, she once again stumbles across the rabbit hole of her childhood adventures, taking refuge in a land that’s not as she remembered it. The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) has taken over and Alice must slay the Jabberwock that guards her empire to restore peace. With familiar faces taking up favourite roles – Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Alan Rickman as the Caterpillar and Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat. (See also Johnny Depp interview p 13). Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Worthing
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is a by-thebook FBI man, John Travolta is the gung-ho superior. Together they’re tasked with flushing out and foiling a terrorist plot in Paris. Using buzz words to tell a frequently wheeledout story of bullets and conspiracy, and loosening up enough to film big-ish budget stunts. Showing at Cineworld
The Crazies (15) Dir: Breck Eisner
Isn’t it just, like, the most annoying thing ever when you live in a lovely mid-America town and then your neighbours contract some violence-
inducing virus and all the authorities do is quarantine off the entire area – with you trapped inside?! Well, that’s
what this small group of plucky survivors think anyway. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
There’s this amateur documentarymaker in France who decides he wants to track down and film the notoriously private artist Banksy. He also wants to befriend him, ‘cos that’s the kind of guy he is. However, when he finds his quarry, that scamp of a creative Banksy turns the cameras back onto him. Billed as ‘the world's first street art disaster movie’. Showing at Duke of York’s
Capitalism: A Love Story (12A) Dir: Michael Moore
Hailed as a culmination of Moore’s previous works, and marking the twentieth anniversary of his groundbreaking Roger & Me film, this tells of the tragedies and the devotion surrounding capitalism in America. This film shows how a simple idea has grown into a monster and how that creature is affecting everyday working folk like you and me. Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 2
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TUESDAY 2
TUESDAY 2
Avatar 3D (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 The Crazies (15) 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 Inglorious Basterds (18) 9.15 The Last Station (15) 4.30 The Lovely Bones (12A) 2.30, 5.45, 9.00 MicMacs (12A) 3.30, 6.15, 9.15 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.00, 3.45 The Princess And The Frog (U) 2.00 A Single Man (12A) 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 2.15, 5.30, 8.30 The Wolfman (15) 6.30, 9.30 Youth In Revolt (15) 7.00
MicMacs (12A) 4.00,9.30 Capitalism: A Love Story (12A) 1.30, 6.30 Sherlock Holmes (U) 11.00am
Invictus (12A) 8.00
THURSDAY 4
Avatar 3D (12A) 12.30, 1.20, 4.00, 4.50, 7.30, 8.20 The Crazies (15) 1.50, 4.30, 6.55, 9.20 From Paris With Love (15) 2.00, 6.30, 8.50 Leap Year (PG) 1.30, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 The Lovely Bones (12A) 11.40, 2.50, 5.40, 8.40 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40 The Princess And The Frog (U) 4.20 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.00 The Wolfman (15) 9.10
MicMacs (12A) 3.30,9.00 Capitalism: A Love Story (12A) 1.00, 6.00
WEDNESDAY 3
WEDNESDAY 3
FRIDAY 5
Avatar 3D (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 The Crazies (15) 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 Invictus (12A) 9.15 The Last Station (15) 4.30 The Lovely Bones (12A) 2.30, 5.45, 9.00 MicMacs (12A) 3.30, 6.15, 9.15 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.00, 3.45 The Princess And The Frog (U) 2.00 A Single Man (12A) 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 2.15, 5.30, 8.30 The Wolfman (15) 6.30, 9.30 Youth In Revolt (15) 7.00
Exit Through The Gift Shop (15) 4.00, 9.00 Exam (15) 11.00pm
WEDNESDAY 3 MicMacs (12A) 4.00,9.30 Capitalism: A Love Story (12A) 1.30, 6.30 Sherlock Holmes (U) 11.00am
Avatar 3D (12A) 12.30, 1.20, 4.00, 4.50, 7.30, 8.20 The Crazies (15) 1.50, 4.30, 6.55, 9.20 From Paris With Love (15) 2.00, 6.30, 8.50 Leap Year (PG) 1.30, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 The Lovely Bones (12A) 11.40, 2.50, 5.40, 8.40 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40 The Princess And The Frog (U) 4.20 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.00 The Wolfman (15) 9.10
SATURDAY 6 Exit Through The Gift Shop (15) 4.00, 9.00 Ice Age (U) 11.00 (Kids’ Club) The Little Polar Bear (U) 11.00 (Kids’ Club)
SUNDAY 7
THURSDAY 4
Exit Through The Gift Shop (15) 3.30, 9.30
Avatar 3D (12A) 12.30, 1.20, 4.00, 4.50, 7.30, 8.20 The Crazies (15) 1.50, 4.30, 6.55, 9.20 From Paris With Love (15) 2.00, 6.30, 8.50 Leap Year (PG) 1.30, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 The Lovely Bones (12A) 11.40, 2.50, 5.40, 8.40 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40 The Princess And The Frog (U) 4.20 Valentine’s Day (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.00 The Wolfman (15) 9.10
MONDAY 8 Exit Through The Gift Shop (15) 4.00, 9.00
THURSDAY 4 Avatar 3D (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 An Education (12A) 6.30 The Crazies (15) 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 Invictus (12A) 9.15 The Last Station (15) 4.30 The Lovely Bones (12A) 2.30, 5.45, 9.00 MicMacs (12A) 3.30, 6.15, 9.15 Nine (12A) 10.30am Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.00, 3.45 The Princess And The Frog (U) 2.00 A Single Man (12A) 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 Valentine’s Day (12A) 2.15, 5.30, 8.30 The Wolfman (15) 6.30, 9.30 Youth In Revolt (15) 7.00
Films showing Friday 5–Monday 8 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Avatar
Films showing Friday 5–Monday 8 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
WEDNESDAY 3 Invictus (12A) 2.30, 8.00
THURSDAY 4 Invictus (12A) 8.00
FRIDAY 5 Alice In Wonderland (PG) 4.15, 7.30 – Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Gala Screening!
SATURDAY 6 High School Musical 3: Senior Year (U) 10.15 Alice In Wonderland (PG) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
SUNDAY 7 Alice In Wonderland (PG) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00 Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (PG) 1.30
MONDAY 8 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 1.30 Alice In Wonderland (PG) 5.00, 8.00
Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
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COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 2 March to Monday 8 March > > send your club listings to comedy@thelatest.co.uk
> Tuesday 2 March to Monday 8 March > > send your music listings to gay@thelatest.co.uk
CHRIS ADDISON
TUESDAY 2 LEGENDS Wine On Tuesdays. Soak up work blues with BOGOHP on vino! > 11pm–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Bingo’s Not A Dirty Word. With Kath. Winner takes the pot, job done! > 8pm, £1 QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for £10! Plus DJ and karaoke. > 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. > 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Eclectic selections from electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! > 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! > 11pm–4am, free
tar of Oscar-nominated film In The Loop, BAFTA-winning TV show The Thick Of It, and writer of BBC2 sitcom Lab Rats, Chris Addison is returning to stand-up with a brand new show. First off though, congrats to him on the Oscar nomination. “Thanks, I wrote all of that. The whole film,” he japes. Really, you scripted it? Chris pauses. “Well, it was the best adapted screenplay nomination, so it was adapted from things I was saying in the dining bus.” What were you eating? “Pure wit.” I'm sure they were hanging on his every word. So what’s the new show all about, Chris? “It's not really about anything. The big shows that I've done previously, with themes and so on – I didn't really want to do one of those again. It's a bit more personal this show I suppose. The first half in particular is very personal. But it doesn't have a big theme in the way my shows always used to. It's about how I'm not really made for this world, and why the world isn't really made for this world, I suppose.” You're pondering your place in this world? “Not really. That makes it sound terribly introspective and fey. No. I would deny that utterly.” Glad that’s clear. Does Chris have any tips for aspiring comics? He’s straight in with this one. “I would say give up. There is no room. We’re full. There's no hope for you. The chances of you making anything of yourselves are so slim, to encourage you would be a cruelty. I think that we really ought to have a moratorium on new acts for at least seven years. And if you still want to do stand-up after that time then come back and have a word. But in the meantime, if you need any numbers for PGCEs or Job Centres, I'm very happy to supply them.” How very generous indeed. Chris Addison, Komedia, Saturday 6 March, 5pm & 8pm, £15. The full interview with Chris Addision can be found at www.latest7.co.uk
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Comedy listings THURSDAY 4 Walks Into A Bar Great mix of local comics – some new acts and some old acts with new material, all for free in this popular curry pub. London Unity, 8.30pm, free
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Clever Peter Twice nominated for Brighton Fringe awards, this comedy sketch group are original and blimmin’ funny! Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8.30pm, £8/6.
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Krater Comedy Club See Friday.
Tag Comedy Join four top comedians – all headline acts from the comedy circuit including Krater Comedy Club MC Stephen Grant – as they leave their comfort zone and are dropped into a comedy No-Mans-Land where survival of the funniest is paramount. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50
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FRIDAY 5 Krater Comedy Club Award-winning comedy. Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top standups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Jarred Christmas and Mandy Knight. Komedia, 7.30pm, £14.50/10
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Comedy Cooler Dave ‘the Guv’nor’ Streeter has once again captured a very funny bunch of eight or so laggards for your amusement. The Alibi, 8pm, £4/3.
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SATURDAY 6 Comedy 4 Kids A proper comedy club and a topquality show for kids and anyone who likes their comedy without the naughty bits! Hosted by Tiernan Douieb. With Adrian Poynton and Sy Thomas. Komedia, 5pm & 8pm, £8/6
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Chris Addison See highlight. Komedia, 5pm & 8pm, £15
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> Komedia, 7pm, £17.50 & 10.30, £15 Laughing Horse Comedy Stand-up comedy from The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, Robert White, Jay Sodagar, Mark Cornell, Richard Rycroft, and Darren Milton. With resident compere Sajeela Kershi. The Quadrant, 8.30pm, £6/5
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SUNDAY 7 Bent Double An irreverent night of fun and frolics hosted by if.comedy Best Newcomer 2007 award nominee, and as seen on BBC 2's Mock The Week, Zoe Lyons. Komedia, 7.30pm, £10/8
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Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 8pm, £11/£6
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Neil’s House Party @ Hanover Comedy A delicious collection of hand-picked local comics rounding off your weekend nicely in the pub. The Hanover, 8pm, free
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The Petty Concerns Of Luke Wright Radio 4's Saturday Live regular presents The Petty Concerns Of Luke Wright: an exploration of ego through poetry and comedy. Komedia, 8pm, £10/8
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Victoria Nangle
WEDNESDAY 3 AMSTERDAM Total Request Karaoke. Pick a song to belt out, vid to watch or tune for your audio pleasure! > 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Games. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. > 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Open Mic Night. > 8.30pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS The All New Q Factor Auditions. 12 finalists, four mentors/judges, one winner. Have you got the Q factor?! > 9pm, free R-BAR Midweek Mash Up. DJ Beast playing her finest mash ups from electro pop to darker shades of electric vibes! > 12pm–2am REVENGE Death To Disco. New midweek bash to meet your indie electro pop and alternative beats needs. > 10.30pm, £2 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. > 11pm–4am, free THURSDAY 4 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL: My Cow Is On Fire. > 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) CHARLES STREET CLUB Get Some. A deck loaded with the scene's hottest 3some, this night is set to cause more than just smoke! > 10pm, £1 LEGENDS Coreaoke with Tammy Twinkle. > 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. > 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Dulcie Danger sets the mood from 9.30pm. > 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top Vs Emergency Room: Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. > 10.30pm, £5/free THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. > 11pm–4am, free FRIDAY 5 BULLDOG DJ Marcia + Guy’s Karaoke. Spinning a non-stop club mix to kick the 63hr weekend into gear! > 10pm–2am, free CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. > Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. > 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. > 9.30pm–2am, free HEIST Brighter Days. Upfront and deep, soulful, funky and jackin’ house! > 9pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. > 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A. Indie, electro, soul, punk, and the classics. > 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes . > 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. > 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop. Join Alex Baker and Stewart T for a night of chart remixes, dance anthems and commercial house. > 10.30pm–5am, £5/free THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag tracks. > 11pm–4am, free
>highlight National Student Pride Celebrating Pride amongst our student bodies with a bash set to top last year’s 1000 attendance! By day, expect some celeb banter on the main stage at Oceana, screenings of two TLA Releasing movies, MP earbending in the political Q.Time, outstanding live music in the Women’s Room, plus schmoozing among the 40 stalls in the market place! By late afternoon, thoughts turn to an epic party with the pub crawl, culminating in a night at Coalition. Live PAs from Chew Lips, Erik Hassle and Girls Can’t Catch make this an unmissable event. Sunday sicknotes ready! Memories! Saturday 6 March, various venues SATURDAY 6 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with some fabulous soulful house sessions. > 9pm, free BRIGHTON COALTION The National Student Pride Club Night. > 10pm, wristband entry CHARLES STREET BAR Fierce. Tantalising cocktails, reasonable prices and the best funky house and commercial tunes! > 9pm–3am, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Cherry Pop. Cheesy upbeat classics! > 8pm, free OCEANA National Student Pride Daytime Festival. > 12pm–6pm, wristband entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Tammy Twinkle + Karaoke. > 12pm–12am, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. > Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. > 10.30pm, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. > 11pm–4am, free THE ZONE Presents... Miss Hap. > 9.30pm, free VARIOUS VENUES Brighton Showcase. Massive pub crawl. www.studentpride.co.uk > 4pm–10pm, wristband entry SUNDAY 7 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. > 12pm–1am, free CHARLES STREET BAR Showtime. Side-splitting cabaret from Topping & Butch> 7pm, free LEGENDS Sunday cabaret with Lady Imelda. > 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. With your host, Cat. > 6pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Sandra + Betty’s Karaoke. > 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. Relaxing acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by Miss Jason's barmy Bingo! > 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. > 11pm–4am, free
MONDAY 8 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
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035_LS464_reviews
2/26/10
2:02 PM
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REVIEWS 35 Ed Alcock
L7 Under review
Oumou Sangare
Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk JO CAULFIELD Jo Caulfield is the most loveable bitch in comedy. I was glad I rejected a table in the front row but by the end sorry. She picks on people – in a caring way. And I like a comedian who is fallible, fast to highlight her shortcomings. On suicide bombers she made political mileage by trivialising their motivation. She mocked their reward of 72 virgins but our laughter became tinged with sadness at the terrible reality of terrorism. To finish, she read the forms we had filled out for her about what we love and hate about Brighton. It demonstrated the speed of her wit, and her... well, her bitchy cheek, if I am honest. I loved her. Komedia, 24 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
WILLKOMMEN ORCHESTRA The Unitarian Church was the perfect setting for this unique, ambitious collaboration. With 22 musicians from four bands, on stage throughout and playing new arrangements of each other’s songs, it could easily have gone badly wrong. Thankfully, the quality of the songs and musicianship ensured this event was a joyous celebration of Brighton’s chamber pop collective. Shoreline started the evening with pastoral harmonies, subtly textured layers and a smattering of mariachi brass. The Miserable Rich previewed songs from their forthcoming album, with ‘Pegasus’ and ‘Standing On My Two Feet’ standing out. New band Climbers and Sons Of Noel And Adrian completed an evening that was a privilege to experience. Unitarian Church, 19 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements
SHEARWATER Who would have thought these Texans could have got even better since their last Brighton show? The release of their sixth LP, The Golden Archipelago brings with it another
batch of sublime eco-themed indie rock which, once again, translates spectacularly well to the live circuit. Lush as ever with skilful, beautiful multi-instrumental flourishes, they juxtaposed duelling glockenspiels with drummer Thor Harris’ pounding regimental rhythms, vocalist Jonathan Meiburg’s spectral howls and never-quite-this-loud electric guitar churns. Rollicking, soupedup versions of ‘Rooks’, ‘Century Eyes’ and recent single ‘Black Eyes’ stood out, though with a show as memorable as this, every delectable second was savoured. Freebutt, 21 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle
ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY? LOVE White Rabbit’s short story night took place in delightfully seductive tearoom/supper club surroundings, with tables laden with sandwiches, cakes and retro sweets and cocktail teapots available at the bar. Switching between public submissions and the hosts’ own work, most pieces took the darker side of love as a focal point with Bernadette’s macabre tale of human taxidermy and Gareth’s three-parter of suburban grotesques (voiced uncannily like Eric Thompson) standing out. Other works covering frustrated housewives and lust in the Louisiana swamps were also well received. A great night out for budding wordsmiths and short fiction junkies. The Basement, 17 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements
THE HUMBLE QUEST FOR A UNIVERSAL GENIUS This anarchic ramped-up pub quiz, hosted by PowerPoint whiz Mark Allen, saw giggling Matt Forde and sardonic Terry Saunders competing for the title of Renaissance Man and Universal Genius. Armed with limp flyswats, the contenders had to compose poems, deliver five minutes of wit about school (which rapidly turned into a therapy session), and decimate the audience through a surreal round of human Guess Who. Disgruntled Ron Jeremy lookalike Glamorous Eli conducted an impressions round through leaping and shrieking, and the hotly contested night concluded with new contestants and questions being summoned from the boisterous crowd. Komedia, 18 February ✪✪✪✪✪ Rosie Clarke
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
AFRICA ON OUR DOORSTEP AFRICAN SOUL REBELS Concert Hall, Brighton Dome 19 February ✪✪✪✪✪ hat does modern Africa sound like? That’s the question the African Soul Rebels tour was set up six years ago to good-naturedly negate. Each year it brings over three groups or artists whose diversity makes an absurdity of the ‘African Music’ genre, let alone ‘World’. And this year’s lineup was the broadest yet, taking in ’70s voodoo funk, ’80s electro-dub, and one Malian feminist superstar whose music can span ancient and modern in a single soul-filled beat. Back in the early ’80s, Warrick Sony’s The Kalahari Surfers were one of the most radical groups on the planet, with three albums banned under P W Botha’s apartheid regime and a sound that fused electronica, hip-hop and dub-reggae with krautrock, bringing them into orbit with sometime labelmates Can. So it was a wee bit underwhelming to see three blokes standing placidly behind a desk (the one with the laptop being guest reggae singer Teba Shumba), and producing a sound somewhere between a low-rent Dreadzone, Kraftwerk with the crusts cut off, and that ‘Bad To Have A Bad Uncle’ song from Nathan Barley. ‘Let’s Build
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A Shack’ was an enjoyably retro rallying call. But they seemed to suffer without the sweat and friction of a club – and from following the ultra-exhuberant Orchestre Poly-Rythmo De Cotonou. This 11-piece funk and Afrobeat band from Benin wore gold lamé tabards, danced like chickens, and produced the sort of party spirit it usually takes an Englishman 10 solid hours of drinking to achieve, finally exiting in a scrappy conga line with saxophones balanced on their heads. ‘Craig Charles Funk And Soul Show’ eat your heart out. Oumou Sangare evidently felt the same, inviting the guys to join her for a free-for-all finalé. But not before turning in a mesmerising set mostly taken from her latest, Grammynominated album Seya. Calabashes were casually tossed over overlapping grooves, a frayed flute occasionally billowing out across the top, and Sangare, dressed in silvery white, moved slowly between her band and dancers, at once warm and rather regal. “The whole of Africa is here for you tonight!” she smiled, leaving us feeling full of happiness and not a little humble. Bella Todd
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
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L7 TV
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
2 – 8 MARCH
Telly Talk
Beyond The Boundary Andy Winter: Is England the South African 2nd XI?
With Victoria Nangle
ussex County Cricket Club has always provided a home for players born abroad, from Ranjitsinghji (India) and Tony Greig (South Africa), to Mushtaq Ahmed (Pakistan) and Murray Goodwin (Zimbabwe), to name just a few of our favourite sons. In his first match for Sussex, played against the MCC at Lord’s in May 1895, Ranjitsinghji scored 77 and 150 runs. Tony Greig went on to lead England. Mushy is an all time legend, with 100 Championship wickets in a season on more than one occasion, and Murray Goodwin now has the two highest First Class scores for the County. But the situation with the national side is something different. There are now five South African-born players in the England setup: Andrew Strauss, Kevin Pietersen, Matthew Prior, Jonathan Trott and, as of last week, Craig Kieswetter. Of these five, Prior and Strauss can rightfully claim “Players who parachute to be the product of the County game, and both were into the country’s cricket educated in the UK and learned their cricket here. team will lead to Matt Prior was in the Sussex demoralisation among Youth Academy from his earliest teens, and County players” represented Sussex and England at every age group from the age of 13. By contrast, Kieswetter represented South Africa at Under 19 level in the 2005/06 season, before trading his allegiances to England, becoming qualified to play for this country in mid February. In his defence, he received some of his education in England at Millfield School. Wisden Cricket’s website, www.cricinfo.com, summarises Kieswetter’s flexible nationality well: “He is already on the (England) selectors' radar and qualifies in February 2010 – unless South Africa come calling first”. Trott and Pieterson decided to 'become' English only in their early adulthood. Players such as these who, parachute into the country’s cricket team, will lead to demoralisation amongst those County players who are knocking on the England team door. The danger for English cricket is not the number of non-England players plying their trade at the County game. For County players, there are real advantages in having to perform against the best in the game, and their performance can only improve as a result. However, I believe there should be some limits on the number of overseas players in any one team, and there should continue to be financial rewards for those Counties who field locally produced players. There may come a point when English supporters will lose patience at the number of my fellow South Africans turning out in England colours. During the recent tour of South Africa, in one of the limited over internationals, the only non-South African on the field of play was the West Indian umpire. For England there is a real danger of being seen as the South African second team!
What Channel 4 did next
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ay back in 1982, a new channel launched. A fourth channel – ambassador, with all these channels you are spoiling us! – that promised an alternative voice to the mainstream. It showed us this by, straight off the bat, giving us a word game. This was for bright sparks and no mistakes. People who knew seven-letter words and could spell them under pressure. It introduced us to exciting telly before school or work, with Paula Yates lying on a bed to interview rock stars and documentaries about things that were affecting contemporary life, like divorce an’ that. It caught the zeitgeist, and even the logo looked cool and edgy. Fast-forward almost thirty years and we’ve got the monster that is Big Brother and so many Friends repeats their memories have become our memories. I recently caught myself warning a friend he was about to do a ‘Pheobe’s boyfriend’ with his short shorts. There was instant understanding – and adjustment. Over the last few months, however, there have been exciting rumblings at Channel 4 HQ. Announcements have been made and – Shock! Horror! – this year will be our last Big Brother (on Channel 4 at least), and this autumn will see the end of the Friends repeats! It’s like someone is
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Photo: Clare Calder
putting away both the camera and the photo album of times past. Whatever will we do? Well, what we will do is get a whole load of new drama in 2011. Yeah, the Big Brother cash cow will be coming to an end but the everincreasing budget and scheduling that it swallowed will finally be freed up, with original drama receiving a £20 million shot in the arm for next year. We’ve been told about a four-part serial based on Shane Meadows’ BAFTA-winning film This Is England, as well as a new Peter Kosminsky mini-series on the Israeli Palestinian condlict. Actual thinking stuff! And informing stuff! Plus new documentaries, like the recently announced Notting Hill (although they’ve said that title might change – unrealistic expectations of Hugh Grant?), which will follow ten locals in the West London area. Exploring the diversity of the area, each member of the public will take it in turns to front an episode, which will be filned the week of transmission. Warts and topical opinions and all. With the head of programming, Julian Bellamy, stating he wants to “advance a cultural argument for Channel 4, not an economic one”, and talking of a mission statement of “intelligent provocation”, there should be much to stay in for. Equally, there should be a lot to question. Big Brother was a small idea that ballooned. As Bellamy says, “ Our former Director of Programmes, Tim Gardam, told me that it was like having a willow tree in your garden. Spectacular. But nothing can grow in its shadow”. Here’s hoping for a prudent gardener this time around. Channel 4’s final series of Big Brother starts this summer follow me on twitter
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037_LS464_TV_Tues
2/25/10
4:08 PM
Page 1
tuesday 2 Five Days BBC1, 9pm It’s day two of this week-long drama, and if you’ve missed the first bit there’s still time to catch up. The coppers are on the case of the abandoned baby and the body on the tracks, and Laurie thinks the two are connected. Honestly love, there’s a lot of crime about. But then, there’s only one script writer...
Horizon: Did Cooking Make Us Human BBC2, 9pm As a race, do we cook because we’re clever and imaginative, or are we clever and imaginitive because we cook? We are the only lot on the planet that do this, and Horizon seems to have some cunning clues that mastery of fire triggered a whole load of brainwork. Hungry and smart?
Caprica Sky 1, 9pm Everything good is on at 9pm tonight – ach! This Battlestar Galactica prequel series is going all guns blazing now. As the plots twist and turn, Eric Stoltz looks more on the edge of a madscientist breakdown, and the school like a cult recruitment centre. Meanwhile, Tamara’s avatar gets a rude awakening.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Deadly 60 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.30am Chidlren’s television 9.30 I Can Cook 9.45 Guess With Jess 9.55 Big And Small Songs 10.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Nature’s Top 40 1.30 Castle In The Country 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce guides viewers through some of the most memorable moments from 31 years of the Antiques Roadshow. 7.00 Coast From the Channel Islands, the team make their way back to Dover where their adventure began. 8.00 Hairy Bikers Come Home The hairy bikers travel to an area that has been under-represented on cookery shows: the North of England. Cumbrian Dave shows Simon Mrs Green’s pie shop and Simon takes Dave to Newcastle’s fish quay. Makes you feel all warm and full inside just thinking about it. 9.00 Horizon: Did Cooking Make Us Human? See highlights. 10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons frisk another suspicious-looking week and uncover guests Kevin Bridges, Ed Byrne and Chris Addison. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Mad Men Drama series which takes an unflinching look at the world of advertising in 1960s New York. 12.10am Mad Men 12.55 BBC News 4.00 History 4.55 Black Peoples Of The Americas
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Guest In The Sun 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 According To Jim 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 Coach Trip 11.10 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Brief History Of Fun 12.20 The Home Show 1.15 FILM: Saddle The Wind (1958) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy angrily tells Tony that she holds him responsible for Holly’s disappearance. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance In Nottingham Jo meets a family whose seven-year-old son, Rio, eats almost nothing but bread and butter. No jam? 9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward. Kelly comes in to have her fifth baby, while Joy is waiting to have her first. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama. Patrick’s dreams of a future with his new love D’reen are put in danger when Mini forces him into one last job. Yeah, right. 11.10 The Big Bang Theory Comedy. Leonard is horrified when his mother turns up unannounced. He soon becomes angry when he discovers that Sheldon knew about the visit. Ha! 11.35 8 Out Of 10 Cats Panel show. 12.05am Full Tilt Late Night Poker 1.10 The Best Of The NBA Basketball. 1.55 Road To The 2010 FIFA World Cup 2.25 Bullrun 2009 2.50 KOTV Weekly 3.15 Freesports On 4 3.40 World Sport 4.10 British Triathlon Grand Prix 4.35 The McCain Track And Field Show 5.05 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour
6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Funky Valley 8.55 The WotWots 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.45 RSPCA: On The Frontline 1.15 Lights, Camera, Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Zoo Days 2.55 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Miles’s fatigue nearly causes an accident. That guy needs to shape up! 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Chinese Food In Minutes Chinese cookery show. Two personal trainers compete to win their friends’ approval with a couple of spicy suppers. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. Bears no resemblance to Every Which Way But Loose. Not an orangutan in sight. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs are called to a murder in a bowling alley when a severed head turns up in the conveyor system. Urgh. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. A man who targets prostitutes – drugging, raping and robbing them – gets a bloody comeuppance, courtesy of a former victim. Bosch! Not that we advocate vigilantism. 11.00 CSI: NY Crime drama. Stella and Lindsay probe the death of a model who was apparently electrocuted in a giant Martini glass. 12.00am NCIS 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE International Cricket 4.00pm Netbusters 4.30 Irish Football 6.00 Netbusters 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Football Asia 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 School Of Hard Knocks 10.30 Revista De La Liga 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am International Football 1.30 School Of Hard Knocks 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 International Football 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Football Asia
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Billy Mitchell’s love life takes a turn for the better when Carol agrees to go on a date with him. Masood makes a radical decision to prove his innocence and Billie Jackson struggles to turn his back on his gang. Gang?! In Walford? 8.00 Holby City Faye thinks her marriage is over. But when she realises Joseph is caught up in a life-threatening situation, she prays to have her husband back. Plus, big things are happening to Elliott. Is this a season crescendo by any chance? 9.00 Five Days See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Secrets For Sale With unique warts and all access to Real People magazine, this sometimes poignant and funny documentary follows the magazine’s small team of reporters as they hit the road and dig deep into their contributors’ most intimate and harrowing experiences, and asks why people feel the need to lay bare their personal pain and tragedy. 11.20 FILM: Open Range (2003) Starring Robert Duvall, Kevin Costner, Annette Bening. Western. 1.35am Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.10 The British Family: Our History 3.10 Muslim Driving School (x2) 4.10 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha struggles to keep Nathan under control. Maybe she should sing him a song. 7.30 The Krypton Factor It is the second of the semi-finals, and today’s competitors are fighting it out for a place in next week’s grand final. Is that posher than a regular final? 8.00 International Football: Brazil V Ireland Steve Rider is joined by Andy Townsend in the studio to see five-time World Cup winners Brazil warm up for South Africa by taking on Ireland at the Emirates Stadium in London. With stars such as Kaka, Robinho and Luis Fabiano on show for the South Americans, Giovanni Trapattoni’s Irish side will have their work cut out to prove they deserved the place at the World Cup that Thierry Henry’s hand denied them. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan On Shanghai Piers Morgan travels to Shanghai to meet the movers and shakers of a city which boasts 118,000 millionaires, and where the only thing communist appears to be the name of the government. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 PGA Tour Golf 10.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 11.30 PGA Tour Classic 12.30pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Irish Football 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 SPL Round-Up 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All – The Tries 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Boots ‘n’ All – The Tries 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.00 European Poker Championship 11.00 International Cricket 1.00am European Poker Championship 2.00 World Cup Of Pool 3.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am NASCAR 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Irish Football 10.30 Netbusters 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All The Tries 1.00 NASCAR 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Poker 5.00 Snow Ride 5.30 Sports Unlimited 6.30 World Cup Of Pool 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Sunshine Tour Golf 11.30 Airsports World 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Sunshine Tour Golf 2.30 Close
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Living
1.00pm Bones 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Project Runway 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Caprica. See highlights. 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Lost 12.00am Caprica 1.00 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The World’s Toughest Driving Tests 9.00 Last Woman Standing 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Last Woman Standing 12.45am The World’s Toughest Driving Tests 1.45 Coming Of Age
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hidden Histories 8.00 Skippy: Australia’s First Superstar 9.00 Paws, Claws And Videotape 10.00 FILM: The Lives Of Others (2006) 12.10am Skippy: Australia’s First Superstar 1.10 Paws, Claws And Videotape 2.10 Rise Up Reggae Star: Storyville 3.10 Paws, Claws And Videotape
12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy 5.00 American Idol: 12 Boys 7.00 Ant & Dec’s Push The Button 8.00 What Katie Did Next 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 12.45am Emmerdale 1.15 Saturday Night Divas
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.55 Reckless 1.00am Wycliffe 1.55 Agatha Christie’s Partners In Crime
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Skins 1.15 How I Met Your Mother 1.40 Scrubs (x2)
3.20pm A Place In The Sun 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Last Of The Honeybees 11.30 Lee Mack Live 12.35am Come Dine With Me
2.30pm Nothing To Declare 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 New America’s Next Top Model 9.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 10.00 Most Haunted: The Live Series 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
2.00pm Weapons That Made Britain 3.00 Blitzkrieg 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Industrial Revelations (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Swords: Life On The Line 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am The FBI Files (x2)
1.00pm FILM: Jack Hunter: The Quest For Akhenaten’s Tomb (2008) 3.00 FILM: Thirst (1998) 5.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (x3) 8.00 Eastwick (x2) 10.00 Dollhouse (x2) 12.00am FILM: Beauty And The Beast (2010) 1.30 Angel 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun (x3) 4.00 FILM: Thirst (1998)
12.50pm The Nutty Professor (1963) 2.40 Romeo And Juliet (1968) 5.00 The Producers (1968) 6.30 Our Man Flint (1966) 8.30 In Like Flint (1967) 10.30 Junior Bonner (1972) 12.20am Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 2.10 Seven Thieves (1960) 4.00 Romeo And Juliet (1968)
12.15pm Rescue Dawn (2006) 2.25 I’m Not There (2007) 4.45 South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999) 6.15 Angel (2007) 8.15 Hero (2002) 10.00 Rescue Dawn (2006) 12.10am Girl 6 (1996) 2.00 I’m Not There (2007) 4.30 35mm
11.00am Whirlpool (1949) 12.55pm World For Ransom (1954) 2.35 A Bell For Adano (1945) 4.40 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 6.40 Cutthroat Island (1995) 9.00 Beaches (1988) 11.20 The Fountain (2006) 1.10am The Fly (1986) 3.00 Lovely Bones Special 3.10 Close
12.30pm The Screening Room 1.00 Carson City (1952) 3.00 After The Fox (1966) 5.00 Along Came Jones (1945) 7.00 Woman In The Window (1945) 9.00 Irma La Douce (1963) 12.10am Lean On Me (1989) 2.15 Offset: Michael Douglas 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Carson City (1952)
3.20pm The Green Green Grass (x2) 4.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Yes, Prime Minister (x2) 8.40 Porridge 9.20 Fawlty Towers 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 11.20 The Smell Of Reeves And Mortimer 12.00am Early Doors 12.40 The Royle Family
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)
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wednesday 3 Relocation, Relocation Channel 4, 8pm Remember way back when we first met the delightful duo that is Phil and Kirstie? No, us neither, but the pair they’ve come to help today do. They were only the first ever couple Phil and Kirstie helped on the telly! In 2002 Fiona and Tom butcher moved from London to the Highlands. Time to move on.
Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross BBC1, 11.25pm It’s his last season – boo! Say what you like about Jono Ross, he knows his films. Here he is reviewing one of the year’s most anticipated – and controversial – films, Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland (see also Johnny Depp interview p 13). With all the hype and Odeon previously refusing to run it, will he like it?
Film: In Bruges Sky Movies Indie, 10.50pm Dark and comedic film set in the stunning Belgian town of Bruges – just the ticket if everything is feeling cold and like you haven’t looked up in days. Hitmen Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are told to keep a low profile after a job gone wrong. A series of mishaps and a psycho Ralph Fiennes interrupt the quiet.
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 SMart 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Dennis & Gnasher 8.30 Zigby 8.40 Pinky Dinky Doo 8.55 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.05 Louie 9.20 Ethelbert The Tiger 9.25 Ethelbert The Tiger 9.30 I Can Cook 9.45 Guess With Jess 9.55 Big And Small Songs 10.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Michael Aspel joins Fiona Bruce and the team to examine some of the tricks of the trade used by the Antiques Roadshow specialists in their quest for great reactions. 7.00 Yellowstone Series following America’s wildlife in Yellowstone. As the snow melts, the extent of Yellowstone is revealed. Grizzly bears teach their young how to hunt fish and when to move out through valleys and grasslands into summer forests and up into the peaks. 8.00 FILM: Becoming Jane (2007) Starring Anne Hathaway, James McAvoy, Julie Walters, James Cromwell, Maggie Smith. Dramatised biography of the young Jane Austen, revealing how her feisty character affected her romance with a young Irishman and how the experience came to have an influence on her writing. Fancy that! 9.55 Grumpy Old Women A group of middle-aged women grumble about various aspects of modern life. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 The Bubble Comedy news quiz hosted by David Mitchell. 11.50 The Virtual Revolution 12.50am BBC News 4.00 Class Clips
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Guest In The Sun 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 According To Jim 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 Coach Trip 11.10 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Designers Under Pressure 12.15 The Home Show 1.15 FILM: The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jake is a suspect in Holly’s disappearance and is being hounded by the press. To think, he started out as the only good ‘un in that family and now look at him. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Relocation, Relocation See highlights. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon lends his expertise to the owners of Mojito, a Cuban café in Brooklyn, New York. The unsuccessful business venture has already cost proprietors Marcelo and Kata their marriage, so it is up to Gordon to intervene and save the day. Word to the wise, stable door. Looks like that quadruped has bolted. Hmm. 10.00 Desperate Housewives Comedy drama series. When Bree begins to fall for Karl, she decides it is time to break things off before they get too serious. However, Karl is unwilling to let her go that easily. 11.00 Shameless Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 12.00am 4 Music: Paul Weller: Video Exclusive 12.05 Red Bull Music Academy 2010 12.20 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 12.35 360 Sessions: Craig David 1.05 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.05 The War At Home 3.25 Generation XXL 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 The Milky And Shake Show 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Castle Farm 8.55 The WotWots 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.45 RSPCA: On The Frontline 1.15 Lights, Camera, Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: Mystery Woman: Oh Baby (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The Diner reopens. Leah has a panic attack. Mink apologises to Ruby and Xavier. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Extraordinary People: The World’s Oldest Conjoined Twins Documentary series. At the age of 57, Ronnie and Donnie Galyon are the oldest conjoined twins in the world. This film follows the brothers as they attempt to fulfil a lifelong dream of watching their favourite American football team play. Go twins! 9.00 NCIS US drama series. Gibbs sets his team the task of infiltrating a secure navy facility to steal a classified military file. It seems that the mission has gone wrong, until Gibbs reveals that the war game was just the beginning of an elaborate plan to ensnare an NCIS traitor. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. The shooting of a car salesman leads Logan and Barek to a conniving mother who was blackmailing different men by claiming they fathered her child. 11.00 Numb3rs Detective drama. 11.55 PartyPoker: The Classics 1.00am SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.50 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 International Football 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm Football Asia 12.30 International Football 2.00 Football Asia 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 International Football 6.00 Boots N All 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.45 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.15am International Football 1.15 International Football 2.15 You’re On Sky Sports 3.45 International Football (x2) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers Food writer Nigel Slater takes inspiration from his vegetable patch as he creates a week’s worth of simple yet delicious meals. Anyone else got a vegetable patch they’d care to share? 8.00 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace continue their search for the country’s best amateur cook. 9.00 Five Days Drama. A week has passed, and with no new leads, Laurie and Mal carry out a reconstruction of the events of that fateful day and this provides some surprising encounters. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws including Thunderball and Lotto, with presenter OJ Borg. 10.45 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama. Patty continues to explore the secrets of the Tobins. 11.25 Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross See highlights. 11.55 FILM: Cabaret (1972) Starring Liza Minnelli, Michael York, Helmut Griem, Joel Grey. Bob Fosse’s awardwinning musical, set in 1930s Berlin. 1.55am Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 3.00 Country Tracks 3.55 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha crumbles and confesses everything to Nathan. Not in song. Did she learn nothing from her lack of singing in previous troubled times? 7.30 International Football: England V Egypt England’s preparations for this summer’s World Cup in South Africa start today at Wembley as Fabio Capello looks to use his last three warm-up games to fine-tune his starting 11. Current African Nations Cup champions Egypt are England’s opponents in a dress rehearsal for the World Cup group game against Algeria. And with Ashley Cole injured, it will be a first chance to see if John Terry and Wayne Bridge can put their personal issues to one side in the common cause of their country. 10.10 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.45 International Football Highlights All the action from Wembley as Fabio Capello’s England limber up for the World Cup with a friendly against African Cup of Nations champions Egypt. But you know what happened cos you just watched it. Duh. 11.45 Cops With Cameras 12.40am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.30 Loose Women 2.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Snow Ride 9.30 Snowboard Diaries 10.00 World Cup Of Pool 11.00 European Poker Championship 12.00pm Lanzarote Ironman 1.00 Max Power 2.00 European Poker Championship 3.00 Lanzarote Ironman 4.00 European Poker Championship 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Inside The PGA Tour 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Inside The PGA Tour 12.00am Champions Tour Golf 1.00 European Poker Championship
Sky Sports 3 11.00am Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Airsports World 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Sorsa Project Snowboarding 7.00 Champions Tour Golf 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 Inside The PGA Tour 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Airsports World 12.00am Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Trans World Sport
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1.00pm Bones 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Project Runway 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 The World Wild Vet 9.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 12.05am Naked Britain 12.35 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 LIVE: First Time Voters’ Question Time 9.00 FILM: Freaky Friday (2003) 10.35 Coming Of Age 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 First Time Voters’ Question Time 12.50am Dancing On Wheels 1.50 Hotter Than My Daughter 2.20 Snog Marry Avoid?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 It’s Only A Theory 8.00 Mediterranean Tales 8.10 Footsteps: The RoseRed City 9.00 Syrian School 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 Zimbabwe’s Forgotten Children 12.15am It’s Only A Theory 12.45 Syrian School 1.45 FILM: The Lives Of Others (2006) 5.30 Close
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Pixie Lott: The Hot Desk 5.45 American Idol: Results 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 American Idol: 10 Girls 10.00 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 11.55 FILM: The River Wild (1994) 2.05am Emmerdale
12.00pm Wycliffe 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Canterbury Tales 11.00 Ladies Of Letters (x2) 12.00am Wycliffe
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Wedding Crashers (2005) 11.15 The Cleveland Show 11.45 King Of The Hill 12.15am How I Met Your Mother
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Shrink Rap 11.10 Bodyshock 12.10am The Good Wife 1.10 Come Dine With Me
2.00pm Four Weddings 2.30 Nothing To Declare 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Medium 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Hotel Babylon
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
2.00pm Weapons That Made Britain 3.00 The Russian Revolution In Colour 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Industrial Revelations (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 King Tut Unwrapped 11.00 Death Machines 12.00am The FBI Files (x2)
12.00pm Angel 1.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Tornado Valley (2008) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 TBA 10.00 FILM: Ground Zero (2008) 11.40 FILM: The Marksman (2005) 1.40am Angel
12.50pm Seven Days In May (1964) 3.00 Pillow Talk (1959) 5.00 Houseboat (1958) 7.00 The Searchers (1956) 9.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 11.25 The Beguiled (1971) 1.15am The Pawnbroker (1965) 3.15 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 4.50 Fixed Bayonets (1951)
9.30am What Just Happened (2008) 11.20 Priceless (2006) 1.10pm Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 3.15 War, Inc (2008) 5.10 I’ve Loved You So Long (2008) 7.10 What Just Happened (2008) 9.00 War, Inc (2008) 10.50 In Bruges (2008). See highlights. 12.40am Magnolia (1999)
11.00am The Spanish Gardener (1956) 12.50pm The Frogmen (1951) 2.45 Victim (1961) 4.40 Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 6.50 Mighty Joe Young (1998) 9.00 Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 11.15 The Dreamers (2002) 1.30am The Green Ray (1986) 3.25 Lovely Bones Special
9.00am Along Came Jones (1945) 11.00 Woman In The Window (1945) 1.00pm Babette’s Feast (1987) 3.00 Alias Jesse James (1959) 5.15 Once Upon A Crime (1992) 7.15 The Big Night (1951) 9.00 Network (1976) 11.30 So Fine (1981) 1.20am The Marseille Contract (1974) 3.00 Teleshopping
2.00pm My Family (x2) 3.20 As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 Porridge 5.20 Blackadder Goes Forth 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.15 To The Manor Born Christmas Special 8.30 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.00 Gavin And Stacey 10.40 Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 Smack The Pony 11.55 Smack The Pony 12.30am Early Doors
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Grouchy Young Men 10.30 Michael McIntyre At The Comedy Store 11.00 Sex And The City (x2) 12.15am Two And A Half Men (x2)
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thursday 4 Coronation Street ITV1, 8.30pm So, what have we learnt, Gail? Firstly, if your husband drags you into shifty dealings and then does a runner maybe it would be an idea to tell the truth early on and wash your hands of the whole kit and kaboodle. Secondly, and this is important, just because hubbie’s dim doesn’t mean his daughter ain’t smart.
My Daughter Grew Another Head And Other True Life Stories Channel 4, 9pm Cutting Edge takes a closer look at the massive success of ‘true life’ magazines, meeting two successful journalists of the genre and those who feel the best thing to do is tell over 11 million readers about their bizarre lives. Why? Here’re the answers.
Eddie Izzard: Marathon Man BBC3, 10.30pm Last year comedian Eddie Izzard ran 43 marathons in 51 days for Sports Relief. Goodness, that man had a fine pair of pins on him when he finished. Before he set off, though, he met the experts whose task it was to turn him into an athlete, and found that it’s not only his body but his mind that is affected by his Herculean task.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Horrible Histories 4.35 Relic: Guardians Of The Museum 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00-9.45am Children’s television 9.45 Guess With Jess 9.55 Big And Small Songs 10.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Primary Dance 11.45 Primary Creative Arts Around The World - Ghana 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Nature’s Top 40 1.30 Castle In The Country 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Guest In The Sun 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce introduces the finds that stood out in terms of pure quality from 31 years of Antiques Roadshow valuations. 7.00 The Culture Show Miranda Sawyer chats to Stephen Vicinczey about his 1965 novel and cult classic In Praise Of Older Women. 8.00 Natural World Over the last 20 years, Andrea Turkalo has been studying the complex social lives and unique vocalisations of Central Africa’s Forest Elephants, getting to know over 4,000 intimately. Can she really talk to the elephants, and do they want more than peanuts? 9.00 How Safe Are Our Skies? Detroit Flight 253 On Christmas Day 2009, as Northwest Airlines Flight 253 began its descent towards Detroit Metropolitan airport, a 23-year-old attempted to detonate 80 grams of military-grade explosive PETN, a deadly bomb designed to take the plane out of the sky. This documentary examines how such a thing could still happen. 10.00 Bellamy’s People Comedy. Spook documentary. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of news. 11.20 The Culture Show Repeat of today’s show. 12.20am The Persuasionists 12.50 BBC News 4.00 Class Clips (x2)
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha is appalled when Nathan makes a shocking demand. Oasis karaoke? 7.30 Internet My Life: Tonight Jonathan Maitland investigates the importance of the internet, and looks at what some of the 10 million Britons who have never been online might be missing. 8.00 Emmerdale Will Natasha give in to Nathan’s demands? Really? ‘Live Forever’ or ‘Wonderwall’? 8.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 9.00 The Bill When PC Nate Roberts and PC Benjamin Gayle are caught up in a shooting, Inspector Dale Smith and Sergeant Jo Masters are called to begin an investigation. An eye witness claims he saw a car speeding off, and the car’s owner, Malcolm Christie, is brought in for questioning. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Car Crime UK Trevor McDonald presents a series taking a look at the work of specialist police car crime teams. 11.35 The Krypton Factor Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.00 In Plain Sight 1.45 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 Internet My Life: Tonight 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Castle Farm 8.55 The WotWots 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.45 RSPCA: On The Frontline 1.15 Lights, Camera, Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 3.00 Property List: Top Spots 3.10 FILM: Jane Doe: Eye Of The Beholder (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Martha and Charlie help Leah with her panic attack. Angelo confronts Charlie about her commitment issues. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Chester Zoo, narrated by Jane Horrocks. 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country Property and lifestyle series with Charlie Luxton. Hugh and Jude leave leafy Surrey for a sustainable future in a remote corner of Wales. 9.00 FILM: Hang ‘Em High (1968) Starring Clint Eastwood, Inger Stevens, Ed Begley, Pat Hingle, Arlene Golonka, James MacArthur and Ruth White. Wild West revenge tale in which a cowboy hunts down the vigilantes who tried to hang him after mistaking him for a murderer. Left for dead by the lynch mob, he is rescued by a passing lawman and made a deputy marshal by a local judge, who sends him out to bring the men in. Clint Eastwood’s first American-made western after Sergio Leone’s Dollars trilogy made him a star. He’s a peeved man. 11.25 The Sexy Ads Show Comedian Spencer Brown presents some bizarre adverts. Oh yeah. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Inside The PGA Tour 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 10.00 International Football (x2) 12.00pm Boots N All 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 The Sorsa Project 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 The Rugby Club 12.30am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 The Rugby Club 3.00 LIVE International Cricket
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Lucy offers Jane the greatest gift of all, while Becca makes Max a mysterious promise. 8.00 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace continue their search for the country’s best amateur cook. See if any live nearby that we can befriend and get to practise scrummy food on us. Yum! 9.00 Five Days Drama. A royal visit to the town turns nasty, and these events are to have serious repercussions for Nusrat, Danny and family. Train driver Pat receives a visit from someone who holds the key to the mystery of what happened on the bridge on day one. But are they telling the truth? It all sounds terribly cryptic. Best watch to fgind out more. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time comes from London, with a panel including Mayor of London Boris Johnson and broadcaster Carol Vorderman. David Dimbleby chairs. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.50 Natural World 2.50 MasterChef (x2) 4.50 BBC News
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 According To Jim 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 Coach Trip 11.10 Without A Trace 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Old People’s Home Show 1.05 FILM: Party Girl (1958) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy is devastated when Carla tells her they have found a body. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Country House Rescue Cornelia Bayley has poured her life and finances into Plas Teg, a Grade I listed Jacobean mansion in North Wales, but funds are at an all-time low. Ruth advises her to offer out the house as a location for film and photo shoots, but Cornelia is worried about strangers harming her beautiful home. Precious. 9.00 My Daughter Grew Another Head And Other True Life Stories See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man This week’s guests are Ant and Dec, John Barrowman and Supernanny Jo Frost. With music from Brit-winner Ellie Goulding. 10.50 Hung US drama series. Ray fears for his teaching job when he is called into the principal’s office. 11.25 Hung Ray faces a public indecency complaint filed by his neighbour, Howard Koontz. 12.00am Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night 12.50 Alone In The Wild 1.45 Into That Good Night 2.15 Dancing Under The Dustcover 2.30 The Dead Zone 3.10 The War At Home 3.30 Generation XXL 4.25 The Bible: A History 5.20 Countdown
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Snow Ride 9.30 Sorsa Project Snowboarding 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Champions Tour Golf 12.00pm European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 3.00 International Football (x2) 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Terje’s Seasons’ Pass 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 12.30am Darts: Premier League 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Watersports World 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Watersports World 3.30 Boots ‘n’ All 4.30 WWE Vintage Collection 5.30 Davis Cup Tennis 6.30 The Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Varsity Rugby League 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Netball: Super League
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Project Runway 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Two And A Half Men 9.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10.00 Bones 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Songbook: Mick Hucknall 1.50 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Hotter Than My Daughter 9.00 Dancing On Wheels 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Eddie Izzard: Marathon Man. See highlights. 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Dancing On Wheels 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 Chemistry: A Volatile History 9.00 The Man With The Golden Gavel 10.00 Paws, Claws And Videotape 11.00 Iron Maiden: Flight 666 12.55am The Man With The Golden Gavel 1.55 Paws, Claws And Videotape
3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 American Idol: 10 Boys 9.00 What Katie Did Next 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.30 American Idol: 10 Boys 11.30 Coronation Street 12.00am Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA
2.05pm Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 FILM: Dog Day Afternoon (1975) 1.30am Wycliffe 2.25 Home To Roost 2.50 Film File
12.05pm Wildfire 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Skins 11.00 Glee 12.00am How I Met Your Mother
2.55pm The Coach Trip 3.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Closer 12.00am The Good Wife
2.00pm Four Weddings 2.30 Nothing To Declare 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
2.00pm Top Tens 3.00 The Russian Revolution In Colour 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Industrial Revelations (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 King Tut Unwrapped 11.00 Swords: Life On The Line 12.00am The FBI Files (x2) 2.00 Forensic Detectives (x2)
2.00pm Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 FILM: Thrill Seekers (1999) 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 Sanctuary 10.00 Dollhouse 11.00 Bionic Woman 12.00am A Town Called Eureka 1.00 Angel (x2) 3.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)
1.00pm Indiscreet (1958) 2.45 How The West Was Won (1962) 5.20 35mm 5.50 Teacher’s Pet (1958) 8.00 The Great Escape (1963) 10.55 How The West Was Won (1962) 1.30am Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962) 4.05 The Big Clock (1948)
12.40pm Adulthood (2008) 2.20 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 4.30 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 6.20 Once (2006) 7.50 Alice In Wonderland Special 8.20 I Think I Love My Wife (2007) 10.00 Adulthood (2008) 11.45 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 2.00am Once (2006) 3.30 Serial Mom (1994)
11.00am My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend (1987) 1.05pm The Well (1951) 2.50 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 5.00 Boy On A Dolphin (1957) 7.10 Lovely Bones Special 7.15 The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) 9.00 A Good Year (2006) 11.15 Cocktail (1988) 1.15am Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)
11.20am The Big Night (1951) 1.00pm Another Woman (1988) 3.00 Hour Of The Gun (1967) 5.00 The Screening Room 5.45 The Big Country (1958) 9.00 Yentl (1983) 11.30 Stealing Home (1988) 1.25am Steelyard Blues (1973) 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Another Woman (1988)
1.50pm The Brittas Empire (x2) 3.10 Keeping Up Appearances (x2) 4.30 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 6.05 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.20 Gavin And Stacey 10.00 Fawlty Towers 10.45 Men Behaving Badly 11.25 Game On 12.05am French And Saunders
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 FILM: Teen Wolf (1985) 12.00am Sex And The City (x2) 1.10 Two And A Half Men (x2)
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friday 5 Sticks And Stones Channel 4, 7.30pm In 2007 Fiona Pilkington killed herself and her disabled daughter after decades of abuse from teenagers. Hannah Murphy’s film looks at hate crime against the disabled, focusing on others, like Fiona, who have been persecuted, and how much it actually registers upon the public consciousness.
The Bubble BBC2, 10pm This week’s celebs trying to spot the fake news stories from the real are the well-informed trio of Sue Perkins, Clive Anderson and Sarah Millican. Is it true that Cheryl Cole has taken up with Calum Best in a dig at Ashley? Is The Queen joining Strictly Come Dancing? And have they missed the General Election entirely?
The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 8pm Oh, it all comes out now. Here’s the skinny, the low down, the whole shebang of Stefan’s story, so make sure you take notes. Well, Elena’s a bit freaked out by the events in Mystic Falls, and now seems as good a time as any to put her in the picture. Including who vamped him up. Here’s a doozey of vampire info.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Timmy Time 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 ROY 4.35 Gastronuts 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.30am Childen’s television 9.30 I Can Cook 9.45 Guess With Jess 9.55 Big And Small Songs 10.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Class Clips 11.15 Primary Geography 11.25 Primary Class Clips 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Nature’s Top 40 1.30 Castle In The Country 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Guest In The Sun 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 According To Jim 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 Coach Trip 11.05 Wife Swap 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 FILM: Ice Station Zebra (1968) 2.55 Glamour Puds 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Jamie At Home
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 The Rugby Club 12.30pm Barclays Premier League World 1.00 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 4.00 International Cricket 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace continue their search for the country’s best amateur cook. 8.00 EastEnders The Square struggles through crisis together, while Max seeks comfort in an unlikely source. 8.30 QI Stephen Fry gets to grips with the Greeks, with Clive Anderson, Phill Jupitus, Rich Hall and Alan Davies. Insert your own Greek pun. 9.00 Five Days Drama. The time has come to decide baby Michael’s future. But someone has a different idea of what’s best for Michael, and is prepared to risk all to get their way. As Laurie finally resolves the case we learn what really happened on day one. You’ve waited enough. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross The line-up includes an exclusive chat with Richard Gere. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.45 FILM: The Hot Chick (2002) Starring Rob Schneider, Anna Faris, Matthew Lawrence. Teen comedy. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: MasterChef 1.50 Seven Ages Of Britain 2.50 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.50 Being Alan Bennett 4.50 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce hosts more of the Antiques Roadshow’s choicest cuts. 7.00 Coast Geographer Nicholas Crane presents a 13-part journey around the coast of the United Kingdom. Bet he gets wet feet. 8.00 Mastermind The specialist subjects are the life and career of Sir Alex Ferguson, 17th century English history, Star Trek Voyager and the life and worlds of Edward Elgar. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. After a long and unforgiving winter, the team are back. 9.00 Mastercrafts Under Monty Don’s watchful eye, three hopefuls who are passionate about learning the craft of stained glass are put through their paces by the country’s leading practitioners. 10.00 The Bubble See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. 11.00 The Review Show Round table arts and culture discussion. 11.50 Heroes Drama series in which people all over the world deal with their newly discovered superpowers. Sylar continues to torment Matt. 12.30am Heroes 1.15 FILM: Gladiatress (2004) 2.40 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha bids Nathan a bitter goodbye. No melody here. Cain secretly moves the wedding date forward – just what has he got planned for Charity? 7.30 Coronation Street The police take Gail in for questioning. A revelation from Liz helps Becky with her grief. Leanne grows concerned for an increasingly desperate Peter. 8.00 Dancing On Ice Friday Ben Shephard and Coleen Nolan debate the Dancing On Ice headlines with a celebrity fan, two of the remaining stars and the judges. 8.30 Coronation Street Gail begins to panic as she is grilled by the police. With a tasty lemon wedge. 9.00 Michael Winner’s Dining Stars In the second episode of this cookery challenge series, Michael Winner attends two very different dinner parties. One is in Essex, and the other is way up in the Scottish Highlands. Lucky chap. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Death Wish 2 (1982) Starring Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, Vincent Gardenia. Violent action sequel. Probably just what you feel like after a week at the grindstone. 12.20am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.15 FILM: The Amityville Horror (2005) 2.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Theresa finally admits that she lied about Des coming on to her. Mercedes cuts up Carmel’s sexy underwear with scissors. Those bickering McQueens! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Sticks And Stones See highlights. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away A couple who own an arts and crafts business want to relocate from Cornwall to be closer to their target market. They decide whether to move to the rolling hills of Herefordshire or the sparkling seas of Portugal’s Green Coast. They could always make those Portugeuse cockerel thingys. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies The doctors try to help a man with anal abscesses, a patient with sweaty hands, and a woman who is embarrassed by her small breasts. 10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Joining Chris on the show are Mel B, James Corden and Vic Reeves. 10.50 FILM: Team America: World Police (2004) Starring Trey Parker, Matt Stone. Off-the-wall satirical marionette comedy. 12.40am 4 Music: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 12.55 4Play: Broken Bells 1.10 4Play: First Aid Kit 1.25 FILM: Boat Trip (2002) 2.55 FILM: Hallo Panda (2006) 3.25 Dead Zone 4.10 The War At Home 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 The Milky And Shake Show 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Castle Farm 8.55 The WotWots 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.45 RSPCA: On The Frontline 1.15 Lights, Camera, Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: For One Night (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Is it all over for Charlie and Angelo? Leah has another panic attack. They don’t just go away it seems. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Building The Ultimate Charting the development of the stadium from the Roman Colosseum to today’s enormous sports and entertainment venues. 8.00 Highland Emergency Documentary following the work of the emergency services. 9.00 The Mentalist Crime drama following the work of a CBI consultant. When a convicted child molester turns up dead, Lisbon finds herself at the centre of a murder investigation. Though insistent that she is not the killer, the agent begins to doubt her own innocence when she realises that she can remember nothing of the night in question. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. Detectives Goren and Eames encounter a gang of highclass criminals led by a dangerous European who befriends, robs and kills tourists. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series A school principal is caught sexually assaulting a teenage boy. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 Great Scientists 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Darts: Premier League 2.00pm The Rugby Club 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 TBA 12.00am European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 1.30 Football League Weekend 2.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.00 Snow Ride 3.30 World Sport 4.00 Football League Weekend 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 World Sport
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Rugby Club 10.00 Netball: Super League 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Varsity Rugby League 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 2.30 Spirit Of Yachting 3.00 NFL - Total Access 4.00 Super League 5.30 Spirit Of Yachting
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1.00pm Bones 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Project Runway 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Michael Jackson’s Private Home Movies (x2) 9.00 Lost 10.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 11.00 Modern Family (x2) 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Ross Kemp On Gangs
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The World’s Toughest Driving Tests 9.00 Being Human 10.00 EastEnders 10.35 Snog Marry Avoid? 11.05 Hotter Than My Daughter 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Coming Of Age 12.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.50 Summer Heights High (x2) 2.45 Being Human
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Franz Peter Schubert: The Greatest Love And The Greatest Sorrow 9.00 Heavy Metal Britannia (x2) 11.00 Iron Maiden: Live In Concert 12.00am Rock Family Trees 12.50 Heavy Metal Britannia 2.20 Heavy Metal Britannia At The BBC 2.50 Franz Peter Schubert: The Greatest Love
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 5.50 Dancing On Ice 7.30 Dancing On Ice - The Skate-Off 8.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 9.00 American Idol: Results 10.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 12.25am Coronation Street (x2) 1.25 What Katie Did Next 2.15 Emmerdale
12.00pm Wycliffe 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Pie In The Sky 9.00 Doc Martin 10.00 Kingdom 11.00 FILM: Clue (1985) 1.00am Wycliffe
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Wife Swap 11.10 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 How I Met Your Mother 12.25am Scrubs (x2)
3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001) 11.00 Heroes Of Comedy 12.05am FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001)
1.00pm Australia’s Next Top Model 2.00 Four Weddings 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Medium 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x3) 1.00 Hotel Babylon 2.05 Living With Kimberly Stewart
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
4.00pm Time Team 5.00 More Industrial Revelations 5.30 More Industrial Revelations 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Hitler - A Profile 10.00 Bloody Britain 10.30 Bloody Britain: Rochester Castle 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am The FBI Files
12.00pm Angel 1.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3.00 TBA 5.00 Angel 6.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 FILM: Beauty And The Beast (2010) 10.50 FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 12.40am Legend Of The Seeker
12.30pm The 300 Spartans (1962) 2.30 The King And I (1956) 4.45 Oscar Nominations Special 5.15 The Far Country (1955) 7.00 Notorious (1946) 9.00 The 300 Spartans (1962) 11.00 The Sand Pebbles (1966) 2.10am The Producers (1968) 3.55 Rear Window (1954)
11.00am Trekkies 12.30pm 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 2.30 The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 4.40 Hero (2002) 6.30 Trekkies 8.00 The Bank Job (2008) 10.00 Choke (2008) 11.35 Hero (2002) 1.20am The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 3.25 Choke (2008)
11.00am Lady From Louisiana (1941) 12.40pm The Tall Men (1955) 3.00 Broken Lance (1954) 4.55 Freaky Friday (1977) 6.50 Timeline (2003) 9.00 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 10.55 Kiss Of The Dragon (2001) 12.45am Raising Arizona (1987) 2.35 Lovely Bones Special
9.45am The Big Country (1958) 1.00pm Broadway Danny Rose (1984) 3.00 Charge Of The Light Brigade (1968) 5.45 The Apartment (1960) 8.10 The Screening Room 9.00 Coming Home (1978) 11.35 Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) 1.10am Fathers’ Day (1997) 3.00 Teleshopping 5.00 Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
3.20pm As Time Goes By 4.00 Only Fools And Horses 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.15 Yes, Prime Minister (x2) 8.35 Porridge 9.15 Fawlty Towers 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 Little Britain 11.20 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am The Royle Family 1.20 Little Britain
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 Grouchy Young Men 11.30 Lee Evans Up Close 12.50am The Office: An American Workplace
Classics
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2/26/10
11:30 AM
Page 1
saturday 6 Bruce On Vegas BBC2, 6pm BBC2 is going to Las Vegas this Saturday night, kicking off with a certain Mr Forsyth’s impressions of the ‘entertainment capital of the world’. With legends like the Rat Pack, Elvis and Celine Dion taking up residencies – and those magnificent tigers – there’s plenty to marvel at. Along with Bette Midler and Louis Theroux later.
Let’s Dance For Sport Relief BBC1, 7.15pm Steve Jones and Claudia Winkelman prepare the YouTube sensations of tomorrow morning, as more celebrities either go all out and take that leap of faith on looking silly – but excellently so – or not quite so silly but very embarrassed. Check out Krater regular Rufus Hound (left)’s efforts online. Smashing stuff.
Pineapple Dance Studios Sky 1, 8pm Whatever possessed these people to let cameras through the doors of this well-respected dance studio we cannot say. All that is obvious is that such deluded prima donnas are absolutely delightful viewing. As much as they are caricatures, this bunch of bendy egos are also endearingly fun. Enjoy.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Formula 1: 2009 Season Review 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 2.45 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 3.30 Bargain Hunt 4.00 A Question Of Sport 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News 5.35 South East Today 5.45 Hole In The Wall
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.25 Leon 8.30 Jump Nation 9.30 Prank Patrol 10.00 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.30 Keep Your Enemies Close 11.00 The Slammer 11.30 My Life: Billboard Kids 12.00pm Greek 12.45 Single, Together, Whatever 1.15 The 5:19 Show 1.35 The Cut 2.00 FILM: The High And The Mighty (1954) 4.20 FILM: She Wore A Yellow Ribbon (1949)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.25 Lion Country 10.55 Michael Winner’s Dining Stars 11.55 ITV News & Weather 12.00pm FA Cup Live: Portsmouth V Birmingham City 2.30 Midsomer Murders 4.30 Meridian News And Weather 4.45 ITV News & Weather 5.00 FA Cup Live: Fulham V Bolton Or Tottenham
6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 World Sport 7.30 Road To The 2010 FIFA World Cup 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Glee 11.00 JLS’s Slammin’ R’n’B Mixtape: Top 10 12.00pm Ultimate Traveller 1.05 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.05 Three Hungry Boys 4.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Hana’s Helpline 8.15 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Highland Emergency 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Chinese Food In Minutes 12.30 Zoo Days 12.50 FILM: A Man For All Seasons (1966) 3.10 FILM: The Age Of Innocence (1993) 5.50 Five News
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 7.55 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 2.45 Sky Sports Classics 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.30 World Sport 4.00 Live European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open
6.15 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond presents the game show, assisted from the sidelines by Amanda Byram. Crashes, smashes and mud splashes are on the cards as twenty contestants take on one of television’s largest and most extreme obstacle courses. Wanna play! 7.15 Let’s Dance For Sport Relief See highlights. 8.30 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Nick Knowles returns with a new series of the Saturday night National Lottery quiz, where two teams of strangers compete to win £50,000. Plus some number thingys. Dosh a-plenty. 9.20 Casualty Jordan is furious when Kieron jeopardises his chances of promotion but Kieron shocks him with an unexpected revelation. Ruth and Jay are thrown together on the surgical trial. Yuki decides to tell May how he feels, but is surprised at what he finds. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Premier League. 11.30 The Football League Show Highlights from the day’s Football League games. You’d think that was kinda obvious. 12.45am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (x2) 3.50 BBC News
6.00 Bruce On Vegas See highlights. 7.00 Diva Las Vegas Highlights from Bette Midler’s update on the Vegas revue show at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas in 1997, with a winning blend of ballads, raucous music and comedy. Includes the songs ‘The Rose’, ‘Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy’, ‘From a Distance’, Friends, and ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’. 8.00 The Lure Of Las Vegas Alan Yentob explores Las Vegas. Apaprently he might’ve been lured in. 9.15 QI XL Extended edition of the comedy quiz show containing 15 minutes of previously unseen Quite Interestingness. Stephen Fry gets to grips with the Greeks, with Clive Anderson, Phill Jupitus, Rich Hall and Alan Davies. 10.00 Heroes Drama series about people around the world dealing with their newly discovered superpowers. 10.45 Louis Theroux: Gambling In Las Vegas Another chance to see Louis Theroux heading to Las Vegas, the fastest growing city in America, to take a look at the pastime that made it famous and meet the gamblers and the casino men. 11.45 FILM: Honeymoon In Vegas (1992) Starring Nicolas Cage, James Caan, Sarah Jessica Parker. Oddball romantic comedy about a couple who run into trouble. 1.15am FILM: Trees Lounge (1996)
7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Bigcollared telly guide Harry Hill produces more comedy curve balls that are sure to have you in fits of giggles. 8.00 Ant & Dec’s Push The Button Ant and Dec invite two families to battle it out for a chance to take home a big cash prize. The teams face a series of fun games and challenges designed to chip away at their starting pots of £100,000 per family. The only way they can stop their money slipping away is to Push the Button. 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers Morgan launches the third series of his acclaimed biographical talk show with an exclusive and intimate interview with fellow Britain’s Got Talent judge Simon Cowell. Hope he got mate’s rates. 10.15 ITV News & Weather 10.30 FILM: Alexander (2004) Starring Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Anthony Hopkins, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Oliver Stone’s grandiose historical epic chronicles the tumultuous life and loves of the legendary Macedonian ruler Alexander the Great. Alexander’s armies had conquered most of the known world from Europe to Asia Minor and India by the time he was 25. Over-achiever. 1.40am FILM: Grey Owl (1999) 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. On the final night of the competition in Blackpool, landlady Cass Walia opens the doors to her bed and breakfast and serves up a variety of curry dishes. 6.45 Channel 4 News 7.15 The End Of The Line Rupert Murray looks at the consequences of unchecked, unregulated sea fishing across the globe. 9.00 FILM: Braveheart (1995) Starring Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan, Catherine McCormack, Brenden Gleeson, James Cosmo, Alun Armstrong and David O’Hara. Epic historical drama set in the late 13th century, telling the story of legendary hero William Wallace’s fight to drive English garrisons out of Scotland. Returning to Scotland, Wallace finds the English king has seized the throne. When Wallace’s wife is murdered by English soldiers, he vows revenge and soon becomes the focus of resistance against the English. The film’s five Oscars include Best Picture and Best Director. 12.20am Alan Carr: Chatty Man 1.10 FILM: Breakfast On Pluto (2005) 3.15 Mama Lou 3.20 The Dead Zone 4.05 Scrapheap Challenge 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Treacle People 5.55 Sali Mali
6.00 FILM: Anzio (1968) Starring Robert Mitchum, Peter Falk, Robert Ryan, Earl Holliman. Big-budget depiction of the Allied invasion of Italy in 1944 during World War II. A cynical reporter manages to turn up whenever military action intensifies. 8.00 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to US Navy and Marine Corps personnel. The team must stop a teenager from detonating a bomb attached to his body and rescue the students he has taken hostage. They’d be terrible good guys if they just left it alone. 9.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. The CSIs uncover the lair of the compass killer. The team races to discover the identity of the fourth and final victim before sunrise. 10.00 Law And Order Drama series. A deathbed confession prompts Fontana and Green to re-open a ten-year-old murder case. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation US drama. A car salesman dies twice, and a woman thought to be dead turns up in the flesh following some shady discoveries about her family. 12.00am SuperCasino Live 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 LIVE Super 14 Rugby Union (x2) 10.30 Super League 12.00pm European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 4.00 World Sport 4.30 NFL - Total Access 5.30 LIVE Super League 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 TBA 12.00am European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 1.30 Super League 3.00 NFL - Total Access 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Super League
Sky Sports 3 6.00am NFL - America’s Game 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 NFL - America’s Game 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 NFL America’s Game 2.00 Live Davis Cup Tennis 5.00 Spirit Of Yachting 5.30 IEX Magazine 6.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 3.00 Premiership Rugby Union 4.00 The Super 14 Show
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
4.00pm Best Of Oops TV 5.00 Michael Jackson’s Private Home Movies (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Pineapple Dance Studios. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Wall Street (1987) 11.25 Fringe 12.25am Ultimate Road Wars 1.25 Road Wars 2.15 Night Cops 3.15 Prison Break
7.00pm The Real Hustle On Holiday 7.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: Superman Returns (2006) 11.25 Eddie Izzard: Marathon Man 12.25am Family Guy 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 Hotter Than My Daughter 2.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.30 Being Human 3.30 Eddie Izzard: Marathon Man
7.00pm Life 8.00 Indian Hill Railways 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Legends: Dennis Wilson - The Real Beach Boy 11.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show 12.00am The Thick Of It 12.30 Leeds International Piano Competition 2009 1.25 BBC Proms 2009: Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring
1.30pm ITV At The Movies - Oscars 2010 2.00 American Idol: 10 Girls 4.00 American Idol: 10 Boys 6.00 American Idol: Results 7.00 FILM: Runaway Bride (1999) 9.20 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 12.00am FILM: American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006) 2.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp
12.30pm The Darling Buds Of May 1.35 Wycliffe 2.40 Pie In The Sky 3.45 FILM: The Railway Children (1970) 5.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Trial And Retribution 1.05am Reckless 2.00 The Beiderbecke Connection 2.50 Film File
2.20pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 7.55 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 FILM: Wedding Crashers (2005) 11.15 FILM: Sleepy Hollow (1999) 1.20am Supernanny 2.15 Gok’s Fashion Fix 3.10 Samantha Who? 3.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus
12.40pm FILM: Anna And The King (1999) 3.25 Grand Designs Revisited (x3) 6.45 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 The Queen 10.05 Prince Charles’ Other Mistress 11.10 High Society’s Favourite Gigolo 12.15am The Queen 1.20 Prince Charles’ Other Mistress 2.20 High Society’s Favourite Gigolo
12.00pm Four Weddings (x4) 3.00 Changing Faces: Madonna 4.00 FILM: The Karate Kid Part II (1986) 6.10 Celebs 24/7 6.30 Nothing To Declare (x3) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 Most Haunted: The Live Series 11.00 Exposed: Britney Spears 12.00am Medium 1.00 Nothing To Declare (x2)
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
2.00pm SAS: Special Forces Heroes (x2) 4.00 The Falklands War 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 8.00 How It’s Made (x2) 9.00 Christianity: A History 10.00 Death Machines 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am The FBI Files (x2) 2.00 Forensic Detectives (x2)
11.30am Sanctuary 12.30pm Legend Of The Seeker 1.30 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (x5) 6.30 FILM: Bicentennial Man (1999) 9.00 FILM: Komodo Vs Cobra (2005) 10.50 FILM: Hydra (2008) 12.40am Heroes (x3) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Angel
12.10pm Around The World In 80 Days (1956) 3.00 Seven Days In May (1964) 5.00 What Price Glory? (1952) 6.50 Samson And Delilah (1949) 9.00 Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice (1969) 10.50 Rio Bravo (1959) 1.20am Revenge Of Frankenstein (1958)
10.35am Burn After Reading (2008) 12.15pm Two Lovers (2008) 2.05 Joan Of Arc (1999) 4.45 Angel (2007) 6.45 The Escapist (2001) 8.20 Burn After Reading (2008) 10.00 Two Lovers (2008) 11.55 Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983) 1.45am 35mm
11.00am The Guinea Pig (1948) 1.00pm Timeline (2003) 3.10 Battle Of The River Plate (1956) 5.30 Niagara (1952) 7.15 The Perfect Score (2003) 9.00 The X Files (1998) 11.15 Night Watch (2004) 1.30am The Fountain (2006)
9.45am The Apartment (1960) 12.15pm The Screening Room 1.00 Man Of The West (1958) 3.00 The House On Carroll Street (1988) 4.50 Fluke (1995) 6.45 Rich In Love (1993) 9.00 Reversal Of Fortune (1990) 11.45 Blame It On Rio (1984) 2.00am Offset: Terry Gilliam 3.00 Teleshopping
12.20pm Only Fools And Horses (x6) 8.00 FILM: Ghostbusters II (1989) 10.10 Jonathan Creek 11.20 The Comic Strip Presents... 12.00am The Comic Strip Presents... 12.40 Butterflies 1.20 Butterflies 2.00 French And Saunders 2.30 The Comic Strip Presents... 3.00 Home Shopping
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live 10.10 Grouchy Young Men 10.40 Michael McIntyre At The Comedy Store 11.10 Jack Dee Live In London 12.30am South Park
Classics
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042_LS464_TV_Sun
2/26/10
11:25 AM
Page 1
sunday 7 Film: Stardust Channel 4, 8pm A fairytale fantasy from the pen of Coraline writer Neil Gaiman, with Claire Danes as a star that falls from the sky when hit by a necklace. Charlie Cox sees the star fall and sets off to find it as a present for the stuck-up girl he likes, as token of love. Adventures ensue, involving Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer and many more.
Film: In The Loop BBC2, 10pm Brilliant films tonight. This biting political satire is essentially an extended and bigger version of The Thick Of It. Starring Peter Capaldi as his spin doctor alter ago Malcolm T, as well as other familiar favourites such as Chris Addison (see also interview p 34), James Gandolfini, Anna Chulmsky and Gina McKee.
The TV Book Club More4, 7.30pm Encouraging us all to get lost in a good book are Jo Brand, Gok Wan, Laila Rouass, Dave Spikey and Nathaniel Parker (left). They’re all discussing The Way Home by George Pelecanos, who also happens to be one of the writers on that ever so successful show, The Wire. Bet the book’s really good.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 7.55 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 1.45 Bargain Hunt 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 EastEnders 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today
6.00am Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 6.55 Pingu 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Basil Brush Show 8.05 Jinx 8.25 Leon 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 9.00 Tracy Beaker Returns 9.30 Spirit Warriors 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Monk 12.15pm FILM: Jack (1996) 2.00 FILM: Henry V (1989) 4.10 Natural World 5.10 Banded Brothers – The Mongoose Mob
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 Columbo: Blueprint For Murder 1.15pm ITV News & Weather 1.20 FA Cup Live
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 The British Gas Great Swim Series 7.50 Mobil 1 The Grid 8.15 FIM Superbike World Championship 8.45 The Hills 9.15 Friends 9.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.15pm Ultimate Traveller 1.25 Friends 1.55 Friends 2.25 Shooting Cheryl Cole 2.55 90210 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Glee
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 8.00 Spirit Of Yachting 8.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Scottish Premier League 12.30 Spanish Football 2.30 Ford Football Special 4.00 Spanish Football
6.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury head for Hadrian’s Wall in Northumberland to get a sneak preview of a spectacular plan to light all 73 miles of the iconic landmark as part of its 1,600th anniversary celebrations. Bet it’ll look better than the ‘flaming Thames’ of the Millennium. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow The team head to the easterly edge of Britain, to Somerleyton Hall near Lowestoft. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. When the Lark Rise school loses its teacher, Emma steps in and discovers a talent she never knew she had. Bird warbling. All the kids are doing it now. It’s so hip it’s practically got it’s own wing at the local hospital. Eveybody – warble! 9.00 Seven Ages Of Britain The story of Britain through its art and treasure. In the 18th century, the triumph of commerce led to the emergence of a new ‘middle’ class. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of today’s matches. 11.15 Would I Lie To You? Host Rob Brydon joins regular team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack. 11.45 The Sky At Night 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Generation Jihad 1.30 Holby City 2.30 Five Days 3.30 The British Family: Our History 4.30 BBC News
6.10 Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections Richard Hammond discovers the secrets of the Taipei 101 skyscraper in Taiwan, built on a seismic fault line in a typhoon hotspot. He finds out just what it is that allows the tower to be so tall, and what this cutting-edge engineering has in common with a bird cage, bamboo, boat masts and seat belts. 7.00 Top Gear Motoring show. Jezza, The Hamster and James take on the challenge of making an ordinary second-hand car lap the test track as fast as a brand-new, purpose-built sports saloon. 8.00 Lambing Live 16 million lambs are born every year in the UK. In this groundbreaking new series, Kate Humble and Adam Henson broadcast live from a sheep farm in Wales to capture this amazing life and death drama as it happens. Over the past six months Kate’s been learning the skills she needs to become a shepherd. Staying awake and blowing a horn if she loses them? 9.00 Wonders Of The Solar System They’re pretty cool. 10.00 FILM: In The Loop (2009) See highlights. 11.45 FILM: Don’t Worry About Me (2009) Brit flick. 1.00am The Lure Of Las Vegas 2.15 BBC News 4.30 The Super League Show
6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News & Weather 6.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Another chance to catch yesterday’s show. 7.15 Dancing On Ice Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield host the celebrity ice dance competition. The six remaining stars and their partners will be skating to some classic film songs as they bid to impress the judges and the voters at home. Viewers have the chance to vote for their favourite stars to save them from the skate-off. 8.45 Wild At Heart Danny gets more than he bargained for when he has to deal with two rogue lions that are attacking the local cattle. What exactly did he think he was bargaining on. Lions here! 9.45 Dancing On Ice – The Skate-Off Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby reveal the results of the public vote. 10.15 ITV News & Weather 10.30 FILM: Mars Attacks! (1996) Starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J Fox and Tom Jones. Comic strip-style sci-fi satire about a Martian invasion of Earth. 12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.00 FILM: Path Of Destruction (2005) 3.35 Dating The Enemy 4.00 Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Bible: A History Seven figures from around the world offer their interpretations of the Bible and what it means to them. Theologian Dr Robert Beckford discusses one of the Bible’s most controversial books, the Book of Revelation, which has long perplexed scholars with its complex circular narrative, images and symbols. Dr Beckford asks whether it should be taken as a literal prophecy of the Last Judgement, or as an allegorical text. Clever stuff. 8.00 FILM: Stardust (2007) See highlights. 10.30 FILM: 30 Days Of Night (2007) Starring Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, Ben Foster, Manu Bennett and Mark Rendall. Contemporary horror. Most of the townsfolk of Barrow, Alaska, prepare to vacate their homes for a month to avoid the gloom of perpetual darkness during the Arctic winter. For those who stay behind, however, a nightmare unfolds as a horde of rampaging vampires descend upon the town intent on an orgy of bloodletting. Beasts. 12.35am FILM: Wrong Turn (2003) 2.10 The Dead Zone 2.55 The War At Home 3.15 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Bright Young Wonders 4.15 Dispatches: Britain’s Islamic Republic 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Hana’s Helpline 8.20 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.35 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.05 Olivia 9.20 The Mr. Men Show 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Hannah Montana 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Andre Rieu In Concert 12.10pm Zoo Days 12.30 Ice Road Truckers 1.30 FILM: A Lawless Street (1955) 3.05 FILM: From Here To Eternity (1953) 5.15 Five News 5.25 FILM: Are We Done Yet? (2007) 7.15 FILM: The Pink Panther (2006) Starring Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Jean Reno and Beyonce Knowles. Slapstick comedy charting the adventures of a hapless French detective. Remake of the classic Peter Sellers original. 9.00 FILM: War (2007) Starring Jet Li, Jason Statham, Devon Aoki, John Lone, Luis Guzman and Saul Rubinek. Martial arts action thriller about an FBI agent seeking to avenge the death of his partner. Aren’t they all? The agent sets his sights on a mysterious and highly skilled assassin known as Rogue. However, in his quest for vengeance, he finds himself caught in the middle of a bloody turf war between two rival gangs – the Yakuza and the Triads. 11.05 FILM: Hamburger Hill (1987) Starring Dylan McDermott, Steven Weber, Tim Quill, Don Cheadle. Harrowing re-creation of the battle to secure Hill 937 in the Ashau Valley during the Vietnam War. The film follows a platoon through 11 agonising assaults over a ten-day period, suffering rivers of mud, stifling heat and driving rain as they battle against a well-entrenched enemy. 1.15am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 4.55 The Family Recipe 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 IEX Magazine 10.00 Super League 11.30 Spirit Of Yachting 12.00pm The Super 14 Show 2.00 Live Premiership Rugby Union 4.30 Spirit Of Yachting 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 TBA 12.00am European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Super League 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE Vintage Collection 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Premiership Rugby Union 12.00pm Live Davis Cup Tennis 4.00 Terje’s Seasons’ Pass 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 WWE Vintage Collection 7.00 Scottish Premier League 7.30 Terje’s Seasons’ Pass 8.00 Premiership Rugby Union 9.00 This Week In WWE 9.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 10.30 WWE Vintage Collection 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00am Davis Cup Tennis 2.00 Close
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3.00pm The World Wild Vet 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Pineapple Dance Studios 7.00 The World Wild Vet 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 24 10.00 House 11.00 Modern Family 11.30 Oscars Red Carpet Live 1.00am Pineapple Dance Studios
7.00pm Most Annoying People 2009 7.10 Most Annoying People 2009 7.25 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) 9.00 Undercover Princesses 10.00 Heroes 10.40 Family Guy 11.05 American Dad! (x2) 11.45 Undercover Princesses 12.45am Coming Of Age 1.15 Eddie Izzard: Marathon Man
7.00pm Pop Go The Sixties 7.15 FILM: The Singer (2006) 9.00 Heavy Metal Britannia 10.30 Heavy Metal Britannia At The BBC 11.00 Mad Men 11.50 Rock Family Trees (x2) 1.30am Iron Maiden: Live In Concert 2.30 Mad Men 3.15 Heavy Metal Britannia
3.20pm All Star Family Fortunes 4.05 All Star Mr & Mrs 5.10 Ant & Dec’s Push The Button 6.10 FILM: Innerspace (1987) 8.30 Simon Cowell Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 10.00 What Katie Did Next 11.00 The Vampire Diaries 12.00am Married Single Other 1.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl
12.55pm FILM: The Parent Trap (1961) 3.25 Agatha Christie’s Marple (x3) 9.00 Rod Stewart: One Night Only 10.10 Northanger Abbey 12.15am Cracker 1.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.00 On The Buses 3.30 Film File 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
2.05pm Reaper 2.55 FILM: The Wedding Planner (2001) 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Samantha Who? (x2) 11.55 Being Erica 12.50am Supernanny 1.50 Gok’s Fashion Fix 2.45 Samantha Who?
1.50pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 The TV Book Club. See highlights. 8.00 River Cottage Spring 9.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding 10.05 The Homecoming 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.50 Curb Your Enthusiasm
3.00pm FILM: The Karate Kid Part II (1986) 5.10 Celebs 24/7 5.30 Passport Patrol 6.00 Changing Faces: Madonna 7.00 Psychic Sally: On The Road 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Supernatural 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 1.00am New America’s Next Top Model
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
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Sky Movies
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12.00pm Christianity: A History 1.00 King Tut Unwrapped (x2) 5.00 MythBusters 6.00 Swords: Life On The Line 7.00 How Do They Do It? 8.00 How It’s Made 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Monsters Inside Me 10.00 Vesuvius: Deadly Fury 11.00 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor 12.00am The FBI Files (x2)
1.30pm FILM: Bicentennial Man (1999) 4.00 FILM: Meteor Storm (2010) 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Legend Of The Seeker 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 FILM: Malibu Shark Attack (2009) 10.40 FILM: An American Werewolf In London (1981) 12.40am Heroes (x2) 3.00 Flash Gordon
6.00am Giant (1956) 9.20 East Of Eden (1955) 11.15 Road To Utopia (1945) 12.50pm Stagecoach (1966) 2.45 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 5.10 Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 7.00 Shane (1953) 9.00 Stagecoach (1966) 11.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 1.25am Arabesque (1966)
11.25am The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.50pm Mongol (2007) 4.00 The Movie Geek 4.30 Badlands (1973) 6.05 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 7.50 Mongol (2007) 10.00 Being John Malkovich (1999) 12.00am Serial Mom (1994) 1.40 Plunkett And Macleane (1999)
11.00am 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 1.00pm The Honeymooners (2005) 2.45 Cottage To Let (1941) 4.30 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 6.40 Cutthroat Island (1995) 9.00 Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 11.15 The Commitments (1991) 1.30am Waiting Women (1952) 3.40 Close
7.00am The House On Carroll Street (1988) 9.00 Fluke (1995) 10.55 Rich In Love (1993) 12.55pm Eight On The Lam (1967) 3.00 Haunted Honeymoon (1986) 4.45 Exodus (1960) 9.00 Women In Love (1969) 11.45 Gorky Park (1983) 2.15am Chuck Jones: Memories Of Childhood 3.00 Teleshopping
5.00pm Heroes Of Comedy: Ken Dodd 6.00 Heroes Of Comedy: Spike Milligan 7.10 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.50 Jonathan Creek 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 French And Saunders 11.40 Only Fools And Horses 12.20am Heroes Of Comedy: Ken Dodd
1.00pm Frasier (x4) 3.00 Scrubs 3.30 Samantha Who? 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x4) 6.00 FILM: Teen Wolf (1985) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans: Wired And Wonderful - Live At Wembley 11.15 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live 12.25am Grouchy Young Men
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monday 8 Dispatches: Cameron Uncovered Channel 4, 8pm What David will do next – apparently. Andrew Rawnsley provides a portrait of Mr Cameron and the government that might be if the Tories win this year’s election. With a little help from Cameron’s ministerial friends. Lord Mandelson speaks for the incumbent party.
Band For Britain BBC2, 9pm Thirty years ago there were 35,000 registered brass bands playing in the UK. It seems enthusiasm has dwindled as there are now only 700. Sue Perkins comes to the rescue of the Dinnington Colliery Band, one that’s been around for over 100 years and now only has six members. Recruitment drive!
Undercover Princesses BBC3, 10.30pm Following on from BBC3’s successful Undercover Princes, here are three international princesses. They’ve come to Essex to find their princes – but they’re not telling anyone who they really are. Ooooh! As part of their disguises they have jobs and get ready to brave Essex on a Saturday night, dressed native.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 3rd And Bird 3.15 Pinky Dinky Doo 3.25 Dennis & Gnasher 3.40 Bear Behaving Badly 4.05 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Louie 9.20 Ethelbert The Tiger 9.25 Ethelbert The Tiger 9.30 I Can Cook 9.45 Guess With Jess 9.55 Big And Small 10.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Who Are We? 11.20 The Maths Channel 11.30 The Maths Channel 11.40 Food Stuff 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Nature’s Top 40 1.30 Castle In The Country 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads – Celebrity Special Dermot Murnaghan hosts a celebrity special of the quiz show. Strange though, not sure if we recognise all the ‘celebs’. Tune in and see if you can do better than us. 6.30 Antiques Road Trip Havin’ a look for old things while movin’ along on a road. Tricky. 7.00 Seven Ages Of Britain David Dimbleby tells the story of Britain through its art and treasure. 8.00 Lambing Live Kate Humble and Adam Henson bring you the latest live from the lambing sheds in Wales. With 300 expectant ewes they’ve got their work cut out. 9.00 Band For Britain See highlights. 10.00 Grumpy Old Women A group of middle-aged women discuss modern irritants. The grumpies turn their attention to the ageing process and its side-effects, including poor eyesight, frequent discussions about the weather, unexpected thriftiness and an appreciation of knitting. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker The second episode of the second series sniping at the news. 11.50 How Safe Are Our Skies? Detroit Flight 253 12.50am BBC News 4.00 Class Clips (x2)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Guest In The Sun 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Country House Cooking Contest 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
6.00am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.15 According To Jim 9.45 Deal Or No Deal 10.30 Coach Trip 11.05 Wife Swap 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 It’s Me Or The Dog 12.35 FILM: Ladies In Lavender (2004) 2.25 Glamour Puds 2.55 The TV Book Club 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Igam Ogam 8.50 Castle Farm 8.55 The WotWots 9.05 Mio Mao 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 RSPCA: On The Frontline 1.15 Wild Animal ER 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 Property List: Top Spots 3.10 FILM: Avenging Angel (2007) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron is thrown when Holly tells him that it is over between them. 7.30 Coronation Street Peter is furious when George prevents Simon from seeing him. Joe’s body is released but Tina is still suspicious. 8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary based in the Lake District presented by Rory McGrath. 8.30 Coronation Street Peter calls the police and accuses George of kidnapping Simon. Toys. Right out of that pram, Mr Baldwin. 9.00 Married Single Other Comedy drama series. Lillie has been suspended from work since Mr Connelly claimed she attacked him outside the shelter. She thinks her career is over, until Babs finds the evidence she needs to clear her name. Woo hoo! Do a little dance! 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Intolerable Cruelty (2002) Starring George Clooney, Catherine Zeta Jones, Geoffrey Rush, Billy Bob Thornton. Comic drama. The ex-wife of a wealthy philanderer seeks revenge upon the divorce lawyer who represented her husband and denied her a financial settlement. Verbal sparring engages. 12.25am In Plain Sight 1.15 Loose Women 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Josh panics about his forthcoming court case and is worried that he will end up in prison. A risk when you have a court case. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Loo Ladies 8.00 Dispatches: Cameron Uncovered See highlights. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Business tycoon Paul Regan spends eight days on the breadline as he tries to help people in Derby, an experience that forces him to confront his past and reveal much more than just his identity as a secret millionaire. Is he Superman? 10.00 The Good Wife Legal drama. When Alicia defends the daughter of a partner at the firm, she finds herself attracted to her co-counsel after seeing his unusual approach to the case. Get her! 11.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) Starring Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Brendan Gleeson, Oliver Platt, Betty White. Horror comedy about the hunt for a huge man-eating reptile living in a lake in Maine. 12.35am Comedy Showcase: The Amazing Dermot 1.10 The Red Lion 2.05 Dogs Mercury 2.30 Monsters 2.45 The Dead Zone 3.30 Last Train 3.35 The War At Home 3.55 St Elsewhere 4.40 Alex: A Passion For Life 5.35 The Treacle People 5.45 Yo Gabba Gabba
6.00 Home And Away Will Ruby and Xavier get back together? Charlie breaks Angelo’s heart. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Building The Ultimate Looking at the wonders of spacecraft technology and featuring testimony from experts at NASA and the Russian Space Agency. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Ortis and Suzi try to locate Jon using a range of sophisticated tracking devices. Elsewhere, Olympic medallist Linford Christie gives the latest sports shoes a run for their money. Boom! Boom! 9.00 FILM: For A Few Dollars More (1965) Starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Gian Volonte, Jose Egger, Klaus Kinski and Mara Krup. Sequel to classic spaghetti western A Fistful of Dollars in which the mysterious bounty hunter known only as `the man with no name’ forms an uneasy alliance with a sharpshooting former colonel in order to catch a bandit. Squinty eyes from the sun. 11.45 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. Scary. 12.45am Urban Legends 1.15 SuperCasino 4.05 The FBI Files 4.50 The Family Recipe 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Max Power
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show I 7.30 Inside Out Vince Rogers investigates whether a gadget developed in Kent to reduce pollution is too good to be true. 8.00 EastEnders Ian is horrified when Jane and Lucy break their baby news, and Roxy is put out when an iconic figure returns to the Vic. 8.30 Panorama Two hospitals hit the headlines when it emerged that hundreds of patients may have died unnecessarily, despite one hospital being rated as good and the other fair. Panorama investigates how many more hospitals may be failing. 9.00 New Tricks Crime drama. The UCOS team exhumes the body of a car crash victim after her husband claims to have seen her at a playground 18 months after her death. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The World’s Strictest Parents Ten unruly British teenagers are sent to live with strict families. 11.35 Late Kick Off Follow the fortunes of the 12 Football League clubs in London and the South East. 12.05am Famous, Rich And Homeless 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Five Days 2.10 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 3.10 Future Of Food 4.10 Muslim Driving School 4.40 BBC New
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 12.30pm TBA 1.30 Premiership Rugby Union 2.30 Super League 4.00 Friday Fight Night 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 European Tour Golf: Maybank Malaysian Open 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 9.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 PGA Tour Classic 11.30 Boots ’n’ All – The Tries 12.30am NASCAR 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 2.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 4.00 PGA Tour Classic
Sky Sports 3 7.30am The Super 14 Show 9.30 Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Davis Cup Tennis 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 The Super 14 Show 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 NASCAR 8.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 9.00 Snow Ride 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 World Aerobatic Championships
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Project Runway 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 How To Get What You Want 9.00 Oscars: The Highlights 10.30 House 11.30 Road Wars 12.30am 24 1.30 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle Undercover 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Undercover Princesses. See highlights. 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Scallywagga 12.45 Gavin And Stacey 1.45 Undercover Princesses
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Syrian School 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Vanessa Engle’s Women 10.00 Sex, The City And Me 11.30 Greenham Common... Changed My Life 12.10am The Grunwick Strike 12.55 Iron Ladies Of Liberia 1.50 Vanessa Engle’s Women 2.50 Only Connect
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy 5.00 American Idol: 10 Girls 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 FILM: The River Wild (1994) 12.20am Secret Diary Of A Call Girl
4.10pm The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Vanity Dies Hard 5.20 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 The Secret Caribbean With Trevor McDonald 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.00 The Bill: Protect And Serve 12.00am Wycliffe
1.10pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glee 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 King Of The Hill 11.00 Skins 12.05am FILM: Kingpin (1996) 2.20 How I Met Your Mother
4.25pm How Clean Are The Filthy Fulfords Now? 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Abroad 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.10 Without A Trace 12.05am Brothers And Sisters
3.00pm Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Britain’s Worst Pet 9.00 New America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Changing Faces: Kylie Minogue 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Hotel Babylon
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
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2.00pm Top Tens 3.00 Europe’s Secret Armies 4.00 Time Team 5.00 More Industrial Revelations (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 MythBusters 10.00 American Chopper 11.00 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor 12.00am The FBI Files (x2)
1.00pm 3rd Rock From The Sun 1.30 FILM: Thirst (1998) 3.20 FILM: Swarm (2007) 5.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (x3) 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 A Town Called Eureka 10.00 Medium 11.00 Medium 12.00am Medium 1.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (x2) 3.00 Flash Gordon 4.00 FILM: Swarm (2007)
8.35am A Foreign Affair (1948) 10.40 Les Miserables (1935) 12.40pm Guns Of August (1964) 2.30 For Whom The Bell Tolls (1943) 5.15 The Movie Geek 5.45 Spartacus (1960) 9.00 The Wild Bunch (1969) 11.30 Kiss Of Death (1947) 1.15am Sorry, Wrong Number (1948)
9.00am Rumble Fish (1983) 10.35 The Apostle (1997) 12.50pm Once (2006) 2.20 Rumble Fish (1983) 4.00 I’ve Loved You So Long (2008) 6.00 The Apostle (1997) 8.15 Hero (2002) 10.00 Insomnia (1997) 11.40 Blindness (2008) 1.45am The Movie Geek 2.15 Magnolia (1999)
11.00am The Well (1951) 12.45pm Sea Of Sand (1958) 2.40 Victim (1961) 4.35 Blithe Spirit (1945) 6.25 K-19: The Widowmaker (2002) 9.00 Premonition (2007) 10.50 KPax (2001) 1.05am Life As A House (2001) 3.35 Close
7.05am After The Fox (1966) 9.10 Exodus (1960) 1.00pm Once Upon A Crime (1992) 3.00 Breakheart Pass (1976) 5.15 The Madwoman Of Chaillot (1969) 8.15 The Screening Room 9.00 Great Balls Of Fire! (1989) 11.10 The Return Of Sabata (1971) 1.10am Great Balls Of Fire! (1989)
3.20pm As Time Goes By (x2) 4.40 The Good Life (x2) 6.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.20 Only Fools And Horses 8.00 The Green Green Grass (x2) 9.20 Only Fools And Horses 10.00 Fawlty Towers 10.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.20 The Omid Djalili Show 12.00am Butterflies 12.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Dirty, Sexy, Funny: Olivia Lee 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40 Scrubs 1.10 South Park (x2)
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Indie