Latest 7: No. 630 by Latest Homes

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk City Of...Pride Jonesy chats with Phillip Gandey, creative director of The Lady Boys Of Bangkok

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 28 May – 3 June 2013 FREE WEEKLY

Love story Suranne Jones stars in Jonathan Harvey’s groundbreaking classic, Beautiful Thing, at the Theatre Royal Brighton page 12

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2013 thelatest.co.uk

@latestbrighton

28 MAY–3 JUNE 2013

Online now: It’s your last chance to vote for your favourite in Brighton Festival, Brighton Fringe The Five Pound Fringe and the Artists Open Houses. Attention bands! Get involved with the Latest Brighton Download Latest Chart. Email info@latestchart.co.uk

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CONTENTS QTube Ep.2: City of... Pride Jonesy and Torsten take a look at the pinker side of Brighton Fringe in QTube Episode 2 – City of... Pride: Torsten goes Cruising and Jonesy chats with Phillip Gandey, creative director of The Lady Boys Of Bangkok. Steve Bustin from the Fringe shares his thoughts about the importance of LGBT performance in the festival. And over in The Symposium Frankie, Sharon, Emma and Susan talk about their relationship with gay men. Watch our shows at www.thelatest.tv

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website

NEWS & COMMENT 04 People’s Day Free activities and events for all ages on 15 June 05 Latest People Brighton Big Screen 2013 launch; Trevor Sorbie’s catwalk to salon event and more 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News Second binmen strike looms, Saltdean Lido latest, and Council leader Jason Kitcat on fracking 07 Marina Life Dance Day: free workshops and performances 08 Andrew Kay Andrew makes the most of Brighton ‘Restival’ 10 Bare Cheek Introducing the Bare Cheek Kickstarter Project 11 Celeb City Keira Knightley, Sir Mick Jagger and Peter Andre 14 Brighton Writes Vanessa introduces the Dyslexic Vampire Babies

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12 Interview Our favourite soap writer Jonathan harvey talks about the revival of his hit ‘90s play 13 On the cover: Theatre Royal Brighton Suranne Jones stars in Jonathan Harvey’s groundbreaking play Beautiful Thing

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17 Hotlist Where to dine this week: restaurants for all tastes 19 LoveFit Café A look at the delicious and refreshing summer menu 20 Wave Beach Body Bootcamp, Clinique charity event, colonic hydrotherapy at Revitalise and more

WHAT’S ON

GIG

PARTY

IN BRIGHTON

Amy in the Winehouse A Friday night with some serious balls, Amy classics delivered in a way that only Laura knows how. Friday, May 31st, 2013, Doors 10.30pm, £8

Latest Group Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless Creative Director Andrew Kay

Art Director Stephen King Latest Homes Advertising Manager Lesley Lawrence Latest 7 Advertising Manager Rachel Simm

Latest 7/Homes Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff writers Sade Ali Mark Brailsford Jo Brooks Holly Cozens

Nick Howard – Up Close & Acoustic Intimate acoustic show in the cabaret bar. Wednesday, May 29th, 2013, Doors 8pm Show 8.30pm, Free Entry

Henry Smith Ben Darling Molly Malone Richard Hearn Andy Hinton Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Vanessa Austin Locke Christina Toimela Design Jason Weaver Illustrator Paul Lewis

Latest News Frank le Duc Jenni Davidson Jay Legate (Sport)

Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest TV

Yuki Stephenson Christina Toimela

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement

David Cuff Andy Nicholls William Ranieri Val Aviv

24 Reviews & Bookings; Latest Download Chart Lee Evans, Fatboy Slim, Blue, Ariadne Auf Naxos 23 What’s On Julian Clarey, Eddie Izzard and Meat Puppets! 26 Brighton After Dark The Great Escape, Meadowlands, Garage and more 28 TV listings Stars; Jessica Hynes’ Up The Women, 7-day listings

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‘For that special occasion or just a good night out’ Great food, great venue and great location Private dining with karaoke from £26 Brighton’s finest Chinese restaurant

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PEOPLE’S DAY

POWER to the people Brighton & Hove celebrates its People’s Day power with free activities & events for all

righton and Hove’s annual one day free festival, People’s Day, is taking place on Saturday 15 June, from 11am to 5pm, in the heart of the city’s cultural quarter: across New Road, Jubilee Street and Jubilee Square, Church Street, Pelham Street, and within the Corn Exchange, City College and the Brighthelm Centre. Organised by Brighton & Hove City Council to celebrate the diverse communities that inhabit the city and define its inclusive nature, the event will have activities and entertainment for all ages. The programme is spread across ten different themed zones and features live music and dance, health and wellbeing, sport, fashion, crafts, and an array of global food stalls. Among the community groups and volunteers taking part this year are the Gay Elderly Men's Society (GEMS), local female acapella choir We-Bop, social enterprise company Able and Willing, Healthwatch Brighton & Hove, and the Silver Sounds Samba Band.

As well as uncovering some of the city’s amazing stories, art and culture, there will be opportunities to take part in a wealth of activities from African drumming to Chinese brush painting, street dance, hoola hooping and juggling. City College will bring a spot of nostalgia to the North Laine by hosting a country fayre complete with hay bales, Morris dancing and a mini farm while other highlights of the day include up-and-coming local band, High Tyde, talented Arabic-style belly dancer, Morgana and vocal performances from the ‘Actually Gay Men’s Chorus. Last year, People’s Day attracted around 15,000 visitors and this year numbers are expected to be further boosted as the event is one of several taking place in the city, over the same weekend.. The Eco Technology Show

(www.ecotechnologyshow.co.uk) is at the Brighton Centre from 14–15 June and will serve as the Eco Zone on People’s Day, showcasing low carbon products and services, self-build and renovation, transport and technology. The Eco Open Houses event (www.ecoopenhouses.org) which allows the public free access into eco homes over two weekends– 15-16 and 21-22 June – will give an insight into how eco initiatives work in practice to save energy and money. And Brighton Fashion Week (www.brightonfashionweek.com), from 13–16 June – will showcase local designers’ creations with a myriad of themes, from sustainable fashion to wickedly wild costume, in a series of fashion shows at St Bartholomew’s Church, Brighton. “Our city has a diverse mix of communities and our free-thinking attitude and spirit is something to celebrate,” says Council leader Jason Kitcat. “Last year’s People’s Day was a great success and we’re hoping to get even more people to join in and enjoy the great array of food and entertainment on offer. The fact that there are so many other events taking place over the same weekend is not untypical for Brighton but gives even more of an incentive to get out and about and be reminded of why the city is such an interesting and inspiring place to be.” People’s Day 2013 is funded by the council and supported by partners including: Guide2Brighton.com, Micarmo Portuguese Food & Drink, Joogleberry Acts, Vision Brothers Productions Ltd , Brighton Fashion Week, The Eco Technology Show, City College Brighton & Hove, Peyton Events, and The Ethical Property Company Limited. People’s Day, Saturday 15 June, 11am–5pm, free, Brighton city centre, www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/peoplesday The Eco Technology Show, The Brighton Centre, Friday 14 June, 9am–5pm and Saturday 15 June 10am–5pm, £5/children under 16 go free.

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latestPEOPLE

LATEST PEOPLE 05

Brighton’s Big Screen launch, ‘Catwalk to Salon’ masterclass, Michael Rosen, & Boost Juice Bar opens Trevor Sorbie On Tuesday, 14 May, Anna Chapman, Rosie Tappin, Louella MacFarlane and Fergal Doyle from the Trevor Sorbie Brighton salon presented a ‘catwalk to salon’ evening, presenting two strong looks from Autumn/Winter 2013; a Marc Jacobs ‘70s inspired look and Peter Pilotto’s sporty ponytail. A group of 11 Brighton bloggers and press attended the evening and everyone left with inspiration; a lot of photographs and beautiful catwalk inspired up-do’s.

Trevor Sorbie Brighton salon owner Kate Wilson

Lydia Neil (Murray Media), Yoddi Papa (See That), Ian Shaw, Joanne Brown (Murray Media)

Brighton's Big Screen Launch Brighton’s Big Screen hosted its official launch on 17 May at the Brighton Wheel’s VIP area. Over 50 people including sponsors, partners and supporters attended the event to celebrate the return of Brighton’s free beachfront cinema. It’s almost double in size from 2012, 40 square meters, and there is a new seated grandstand, VIP area, licensed bar and refreshment area. It runs from 30 July to 26 August, showcasing recent box office hits, movie classics and top live sporting events. www.brightonsbigscreen.com Words & photos: Diana Frangi

Trevor Sorbie team of stylists, bloggers & press Melanie Perry (Starr Trust), Dominic Ferris (Musician)

Annual Guest Director Reception

David Courtney (Songwriter), Carol Harrison (Actress)

Boost Juice Bar Boost Juice gave Brighton locals and visitors a healthy awakening on Thursday 16 May when it opened the doors to its latest Boost Juice Bar at the Churchill Square Shopping Centre, opposite Miss Selfridge. The fast growing Australian chain delighted Churchill Square shoppers

with its range of fresh, healthy and tasty smoothies. The juice bar’s first customer was Brighton local Emma Legg. Emma was rewarded with a Boost VIBE card, entitling her to free Boost juices and smoothies every week for a whole year. www.boostjuicebars.co.uk

Michael Rosen – Guest Director of Brighton Festival 2013 – joined Patrons of Brighton Dome & Brighton Festival and members of the festival programming team for a special reception at vegetarian restaurant Terre a Terre on Sunday 12 May. This annual Guest Director reception gives Patrons the opportunity to talk with those directing and programming the festival about shows and artists, and discuss the thinking behind Brighton Festival 2013. Photos: Barney Poole

Michael Rosen (Guest Director, Brighton Festival) & Olivia Reed (Patron) Anne Asha (Patron)

Andrew Comben (Chief Executive, Brighton Dome & Brighton Festival) & Karl Jones (Patron)

Boost Juice Bar staff with founder and director Dawn O'Sullivan (second from right), celebrate opening morning at Churchill Square

Jill Hill (Patron) & Orla Flanagan (Theatre producer, Brighton Dome & Brighton Festival)

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06 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

Second binmen strike looms Cuts in take-home pay will affect about 450 of the council’s 8,000 staff including 270 workers at Cityclean. Frank le Duc reports on the dispute

ext week the result of the binmen’s strike ballot will be known. They walked out on unofficial strike just under three weeks ago, angry about a proposal to cut the overtime payments on which many of them rely. The biggest losers will be about £4,000 a year worse off. The number of men losing their union’s headline figure is in single figures. But the typical shortfall of about £1,000 a year affects most of those who empty our bins and clean our streets. The GMB union represents about 270 of the workers who will be hardest hit. The union understands the reasons for the review of pay and allowances that has triggered the current dispute. But it wants a solution that doesn’t take money away from people whose basic salary is just under £15,500 a year. Brighton and Hove City Council said that such a solution would not be affordable. Penny Thompson

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on the ‘no fracking’ zone

e recently declared Brighton & Hove a ‘no fracking’ zone. Fracking is an unconventional method used to access and then extract underground gas pockets. The most controversial aspects of fracking are the use of explosives and a high pressure chemical cocktail to blast cracks in the rocks to release gas. Where fracking has taken place elsewhere, it’s been linked to air pollution and contamination of local water supplies. For example in the US, residents living near fracking sites in Pennsylvania were able to set light to

The council is trying to ensure fair pay and allowances for comparable groups of employees. It has a legal duty to do this. And it is offering compensation to those who will lose out under its proposals. The lump sum compensation is equal to three year’s losses. So someone losing £1,000 a year would be paid a oneoff sum of £3,000. Council chief executive Penny Thompson said: “I don’t want anybody to think that we are at all taking for granted how serious this is for individuals but it can’t be left. For most people this doesn’t have an impact. For the 10 per cent on whom it does have an impact, I don’t want to minimise that. They are anxious, angry and concerned. I understand and empathise with that. But the existing mish-mash of arrangements are unfair although they weren’t meant to be.” The existing arrangements are in large part down to the merger of Brighton Borough Council and Hove Borough Council in 1997. The new council also included a sizeable number of East Sussex County Council employees who served the Brighton and Hove area. As a result the new organisation inherited several sets of pay and conditions. Work to streamline these has taken place, with basic salary bands equalised some

their tap water due to contamination of their aquifer. Fracking also uses huge amounts of water, up to 1million gallons for each ‘frack’. It is an incredibly wasteful way of providing our energy. We don’t fully understand and can’t control the wider impacts of fracking. For example here in the UK, fracking triggered earthquakes at test-drilling sites near Blackpool. In recognition of these risks, many places in Europe and across the world have already ordered moratoriums in place to halt fracking in their areas. Indeed there has not been a successful commercial use of fracking anywhere in Europe. But how does this affect us in

the big issue “One downside for rounds with communal bins is the loss of Christmas tips”” time ago. The latest proposals are intended to finish the job. The binmen and street cleaners at Cityclean are not the only losers in this process. They are though the biggest single group to suffer – and possibly the best organised. On the second day of their wildcat strike earlier in the month they marched on Brighton Town Hall and confronted council leader Jason Kitcat. He was unable to make himself heard over the chants directed at him. Caroline Lucas, the Green MP for Brighton Pavilion, spoke for a number of her party colleagues when she said: “Since the negotiations began, I have made my opposition to any cuts in take-home pay very clear. I am therefore disappointed that, while some will gain from this process, a number will face a reduction in the money they have to live off each week. This is unacceptable. I have

Brighton & Hove? Well we know some companies are investigating the possibility of fracking near the city in Sussex. And one company has already gained planning permission to drill at a site near in Balcombe,

pledged to campaign against proposals made to workers that will lead to a loss of pay, in accordance with the local and national party’s democratically agreed anti-cuts and anti-austerity policies.” Councillor Kitcat said that the proposals were unrelated to austerity cuts and would lead to an overall increase in the council’s budget for pay and allowances. He said that poorly paid women would be the main winners. He also said the Green policies would bring more opportunities to make up lost earnings for the Cityclean staff based at the depot in Hollingdean. He wants to see widespread food waste collections and the more regular emptying of communal bins, including at weekends. One downside for rounds with communal bins, though, is the loss of tips at Christmas. So while binmen and street cleaners would lose out in the short term, they would be generously compensated, he said, while having the chance to pick up more overtime in the long term. The aim is to reach agreement with the unions and staff as soon as possible. If not, the council may impose the scheme by October. The mood in Hollingdean suggests that a solution is not in sight and that the binmen are ready for a fight. ■

East Sussex. There’s a risk this activity could pollute our city’s water supply (100% of which comes from one underground aquifer), add to local air pollution and that any subsequent earth tremors could threaten the crucial London to Brighton railway route. Unfortunately the Government has already given its backing to fracking. Though only they can rule out fracking in the UK, the more communities that say no to fracking, the more pressure we’ll put on them to change their minds about this risky and unsustainable practice.

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Celebcity with Jo Brooks Keira Knightley chooses Brighton over Cannes; Sir Mick Jagger compares us to the Caribbean, Peter Andre moves out & a familiar face comes to town Keira Knightley as Joanna Reed in Last Night. © PicSelect

Sir Mick Jagger of Rolling Stones fame recently confirmed that camping in the Caribbean is ‘just the same as Brighton – there’s just less chance of bad weather”. Despite not seeing Mick take to our pebbly beachside of recent, it was nice to hear him agree with what we all knew already. Mick made the comments whilst discussing his upcoming headline spot at Glastonbury – of which he plans to make a weekend of it with the family. Speaking to Q magazine about the appearance, he said: “I’ve got nothing else to do on Glasto weekend, and I want to spend some time with my family and have a good time as well.” Perhaps when they’re done the Jagger family can pack up the yurts and take them down here as well. We’ll get the Pina Coladas ready, Mick.

PETER ANDRE MOVES HOME

ESCAPE GREATS

he Great Escape Festival always brings with it its fair share of celebrity sightings and 2013’s pick even went a little A-list. Amongst the revellers that overtook our fair city for the industry insiders’ favourite festival was the recently married Keira Knightley. The actress was spotted enjoying some sea air on Brighton beach before moshing away at her husband’s Klaxons’ gig. Having married the keyboardist in France on 4 May (in a LOW KEY wedding – in case you hadn’t already heard this three million times already) it seems the newlyweds are currently inseparable, with Keira shunning the prestigious Cannes Festival to get down and dirty with the band. The gig at the Dome’s Corn Exchange marked the Klaxons’ comeback after two years out of the limelight and it seems a lot of music fans are excited to have them back. Over at the alternative Great Escape we spotted Rizzle Kicks’ Harley checking out Hackney rapper Mikill Pane at the Fishbowl pub. Nodding his head along to tracks like ‘Dirty Rider’ (based on the rapper’s bad-ass cycling travels around London) and Smashing Bricks, Harley even treated his mate Pane to a much needed drink. Mikill’s debut album is scheduled to come out this year following his single ‘Blame Miss Barclay’, and I think we’ll be in line (alongside Harley) to get our hands on it. Other highlights included Iggy Azalea, John Newman, V.V. Brown and current indie faves Bastille. We miss it already.

Peter Andre is selling his current Brighton home, but before you throw yourself off the end of the pier in distress, he isn’t promising to move very far away. Writing in his ever-exciting new! Magazine column Andre explained that he is now planning to buy a pied a terre (our French idiom – not his) in London and “a house with lots of land between where I live now and Brighton”. Pete was keen to add that this was not a sign that he and his girlfriend Emily – who is based in Bristol – were going to live together, but rather a step towards making the relationship more serious. Get your wedding hats at the ready! © www.jimpix.com

ROYALTY IN BRIGHTON

If you think you saw a ghost in Brighton, we can officially clear up the matter: it was in fact Patrick Myers, who will be performing as Freddie Mercury as part of Killer Queen on Thursday 6 June at the Brighton Centre. Patrick was down in Brighton for a pre-show photoshoot. Time Out described Patrick’s resemblance to Freddie Mercury as "Spooky,” and his uncanny likeness was further proven when he recorded a number one hit single singing as Freddie Mercury on Fat Boy Slim's record ‘The Real Life!’ Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

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L7 INTERVIEW asked him why he said it and his reply was this – ‘Because I don’t like it, Sir’, But even I wasn’t equipped to deal with that, you need training for that. It wasn’t there then, and I don’t think it’s there today.”

Bright & beautiful Andrew Kay meets Jonathan Harvey & the company for the revival of Beautiful Thing

t’s 20 years since Jonathan Harvey’s play Beautiful Thing took the world from behind, sneaking up on a society blighted by homophobic oppression and clause 28 it painted a picture of life for gay men young and old that was breathtakingly refreshing. It spoke of love, and hope and of happy endings, when until then homosexuality was invariably painted as a desperate state which would only end in tears or worse. Jonathan Harvey went on to become one of the UK’s top playwrights and TV script writers, but it was this award winning and world shaking play that brought him to a public that goes far beyond any gay ghetto. I met with Jonathan and his director and cast to talk about the much applauded revival. How poignant will the play be for a contemporary audience Jonathan? “I don’t know, I hope that it’s going to be really poignant with my marketing head on. I’m just thrilled that it’s going on, when you write a play you’re lucky to get a first production, so to get a second production is brilliant, even if it is 20 years later. Actually we did it at the Royal Exchange in Manchester a couple of years ago, a lovely production. And the audience responded in the same ways that they had 18 years before.” Was it the response that was the same or was it the same audience coming to see it 20 years on? “Some the same but loads of young people and they responded in the same way as young people had back then. It didn’t feel that dated. I banned all productions of it for a while because I thought it was being overdone, but when the Royal Exchange asked I said yes, I grew up in Liverpool and the Royal Exchange had always been a great day out for us. I am so excited and I watched the run through this morning and the cast are fantastic.” I’m fascinated that at a time when there was no gay equality you chose to write a play not about equality but a love story... “It was very intentional but it was difficult to cast, very few black or Asian actors would audition and explaining to young actors in 1993 that the play was about boys who were in love was often met with bewilderment. Actors today are far more open and say ‘okay, let’s read the script’. I remember one young actor who has gone on to be quite well known, when I said the boys fell in love he said” ‘Why?’. It just didn’t enter his sphere of knowledge. Things have moved on and I am more aware of that through the casting part of the process.”

When I was coming out as a teenager I was unaware that what I was and what I was doing was illegal. Did you feel that? “I’m 12 years younger and was born after homosexuality was decriminalized so I did grow up in a different time frame to you – but there was still a very big element of danger, then on top of that there was AIDS and the element of danger. One of the first things my mum said when I came out was that if I got AIDS she would nurse me – she is a nurse. Those were the conversations that you had to have at that time. But I did fear going to prison, perhaps if I had been caught in a public place. Tony Warren, who created Coronation Street said that in the 1960s he would walk from his house through Manchester to the Granada Studios and he would pass Strangeways [prison] and he would think ‘I’ll end up in there one day’, and he actually believed that it was bound to happen because he was gay and it was illegal.” We have come a long way with civil partnerships etc but there is still a lack of support in education for young gay people... “I know, I remember when I was teaching and someone in class called another kid queer and I

“We are from a generation that had to fight for things and the apathy around certain things today disheartens me”

I find it upsetting that 20 years on from your play that made it clear that homosexuals often have their first loves at the same time as heterosexuals there is still no one out there dealing with that. Do you think the gay community is complacent about that? “Yes, we are from a generation that had to fight for things and the apathy around certain things today disheartens me. I suppose for young people they don’t remember seeing people with AIDS dying whereas we would. That shocks me. But I can understand it.” How does the theatre persuade a young audience to part with the price of eight pints of beer to see a play? “Is that what it is? I suppose it can be. I find that hard to answer because I don’t think anyone should have to pay that much to see theatre. I paid £50 to see The Sound Of Music and we were in the gods and all we could see were Maria’s shoes as she stood on those hills. Fifty quid to see her feet! Let me say this, they are going to have a good time, and they’re not going to get drunk or have a hangover...” It must very exciting to be involved in this project. This play was very important to me, does it have the same poignancy for you? “Yes, I was a 13 years old growing up in North Yorkshire in a rural community. I was listening to Suranne reading the coming out scene this morning and I can remember coming out in a restaurant in Leeds to my mum. Whether you are gay or not, this is a play about love and it has reverberations for so many people. From a personal point of view there is a strong connection but as a director there are so many other things to explore with it. It’s astonishing how well it stands up 20 years later.” Are you keeping it set in the early ‘90s? “Yes, absolutely, that is very important to the play, and its location.” It was very different back then, there was more oppression certainly, and the boys in the play are quite innocent in many ways, how do you get that from young actors today? “I was just thinking about that, that these two boys fall in love, one has to contend with abuse at home, one has to act as the father figure... There is no awareness that this love is illegal or in any way wrong, and as a statement of that love speaking for itself sticks two fingers up to any Government and prejudice and homophobes who spout hate and nonsense.” This is what some of us lived through. “Yes, and for the young actors this is ancient history in a way.” [At this point an open discussion opens with the two young actors Jake Davies who plays Jamie and Danny-Boy Hatchard who plays Ste joining in. Each talking about being born after the play is set but each saying that they can relate to the content through personal experience. It’s the most compelling evidence that this work, now 20 years old, is ripe for revival and will undoubtedly go on to become a classic work in the canon of great British drama. Now open to rave West end reviews this is unmissable writing and theatre of the highest order that really should not be missed.] Beautiful Thing, Theatre Royal, Brighton, Monday 10–Saturday 15 June, Box office: 08448 717 650, www.atgtickets.com/brighton

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THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON

o ve r • e ccover • o o

irect from the West End, where it has played to packed houses and won high praise from national reviewers, the brand new 20th anniversary production of Jonathan Harvey’s classic play, Beautiful Thing, comes to Theatre Royal Brighton for one week only from Monday 10 June. Beautiful Thing is a glorious urban love story between two young men set on an inner city housing estate. It tells the story of teenager Jamie’s relationship with classmate and neighbour Ste. Together, the two boys find comedy, warmth and the music of Mama Cass through their loud-mouthed next door neighbour Leah. The play exquisitely depicts what it is to be 16, in the first flush of love, and full of optimism. Suranne Jones stars as Sandra, Jamie’s mother. Suranne’s recent television work includes two series of the very popular Scott & Bailey as DC Rachel Bailey for ITV1 and the

n t he ••oon the coco

Beautiful Thing, Jonathan Harvey’s modern day love story, comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton

thriller The Secret Of Crickley Hall, for BBC1. She played Idris, the human incarnation of the Tardis, in Dr. Who, also for the BBC. She has filmed three series of the spoof detective series A Touch Of Cloth for Sky 1 with John Hannah. Suranne is also well known for playing Karen McDonald in Coronation Street where she worked closely with Jonathan Harvey. Her stage work includes Top Girls at Chichester Festival Theatre and Trafalgar h e c ov e n nt the cover r Studios, A Few Good Men with Jon Barrowman and Rob Lowe at the Theatre Royal Haymarket and Noel Coward’s Blithe Spirit at the released in 1996 by Channel 4 films and Manchester Royal Exchange. became a cult hit. Jonathan is a regular writer Jonathan Harvey wrote for Coronation Street and wrote the TV hit series Beautiful Thing when he was just 24. It Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, as well as the bestselling premiered at the Bush Theatre in 1993, 2012 novel All She Wants. His other plays include eventually winning its author an Olivier Canary and Corrie! Award nomination and the John Whiting Beautiful Thing is directed by Nikolai Foster, an Award. A screen adaptation of the play was Associate Director of the West Yorkshire Playhouse. His work has been seen in most of the UK’s leading regional theatres, touring houses and internationally, and recent productions include Flashdance in the West End. Don’t miss Beautiful Thing, an uplifting and heartwarming piece of theatre, and one of the highlights of Theatre Royal Brighton’s drama programme this summer. Beautiful Thing, Theatre Royal Brighton, Monday 10–Saturday 15 June, £10–£27, book tickets on 0844 871 7650* www.atgtickets.com/brighton* *Subject to booking fee r • on veer • on thth

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014_LS629_inspiremevanessa_editorial 22/05/2013 12:21 Page 2

14 BRIGHTON WRITES Head shot Courtesy Jerry Lebens

Vanessa Austin Locke Introducing The Dyslexic Vampire Babies

’ve been in the closet for years. I haven’t been able to tell anyone but my very closest friends for fear of personal and professional prejudice, but I can’t take it any more... My name’s Vanessa Austin Locke, I’m dyslexic and I’m proud of it. That may well have ensured I never get another editing job as long as I live, despite the fact that my apostrophes wouldn’t know a greengrocer if they were shoved between his banana and his s. God forbid. But I doubt it. You see, over the years I’ve learnt that far from being a disability, my dyslexia is something that supports me, has made thinking outside the box, and often sets me apart. At school I had to work harder than most to achieve the same, or sometimes “I frequently lower grades, over-achieve because our education system isn’t designed to let through fear of children who have underachieving” different minds learn in the way the need to learn – I’m talking to you Gove. And even now in the workplace, I often have to stay later and put in unpaid hours, but that’s just the way it is and I’m grateful for it because it means I frequently overachieve through fear of underachieving. I was also lucky enough to have exceptional parents who read to me for hours every night until I was about 14, so that my insatiable appetite for books I couldn’t read properly myself was at least partially fed. One day, several years ago, a friend from my Dyslexics Anonymous meeting told me he didn’t want to have children because he didn’t want to pass on his dyslexia. That night I had a visitation from three little dyslexic vampire babies called Veronica, Vinnie and Velimir who told me that they wanted to be born even if they would have squiffy brains, because they could create wonders that people with ‘normal’ brains just couldn’t imagine and they had important work to do. So the next day I sat down and wrote a children’s book called The Dyslexic Vampire Babies. It’s about three terribly misunderstood vampire babies who get so frustrated at not being able to read that their little fangs pop out and they start eating the books (and one or two other things). Well, they get into awful trouble and are sent to their room, but something magical begins to happen as they digest the yummy books... I sent The Dyslexic Vampire Babies to a few agents and publishers who said they liked it but that my drawings weren’t good enough and so Vinnie, Veronica and Velimir have sat on my computer for several years. I knew exactly who I wanted to illustrate my book you see, a local international artist that lots of you will know called Gary Goodman. However I had yet to meet him and so I bided my time and let Brighton’s social circle turn until one day the six degrees of separation closed and we found ourselves drunk in a pub together on the same poetry circuit. Well, one thing led to another and before you know it Gary had given me three beautiful dyslexic vampire babies. We’re on the lookout for the right publisher at the moment and hope to bring the finished article to you soon. But in the meantime, all you dyslexic vampire babies out there, just remember... RWAR!

Follow me: @vnessenvy

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay heads to Glyndebourne for fabulous music & very fine dining

Our meal started in style, both Mr R’s chose the prawns and asparagus. It was a witty dish, with the prawns served in a Glyndebourne branded sardine can. On the side a dainty finger of dark bread was topped with shaved vegetables and the prawns and asparagus were dressed with a creamy truffle vinaigrette. I looked on with envy as Mr R ordered everyone to mop up the sauce with their roll. Sadly, prawns are off the menu for me right now. Mrs C chose the rabbit terrine in a pastry case which she liked but found rather large for her dainty, ladylike tongue. I had chosen the chilled cream of sorrel soup with organic salmon drizzled with Vermouth. It was not a dish I would leap at normally but how great that circumstance drove me to it as I loved it – a light and refreshing soup with that great citrus kick that sorrel delivers, and at the heart a mighty round of excellent salmon. Mrs C and I both chose the roast Cumbria fillet of beef larded with pancetta, caramelised shallot purée and beef jus. The beef was stunningly tender and flavoursome, unusual for a usually mild fillet I thought. The fat chip shaped fondant potato was tasty and the roast shallot purèe was so delicious that I could have consumed a bowl of that alone. Mr R chose roast breast of guinea fowl with sweet peas, braised lettuce, baby onions and lardons, a classic combination that put a very big grin on his face. The guinea fowl was moist and tender, a result that requires precise cooking that must be hard when catering on this scale.

A bite at the opera I

’ve been going to Glyndebourne since I was in my early 20s. Back then it was to dress rehearsals as I had a friend in wardrobe (not the closet). These days I go with my Latest hat on, to enjoy the music and report. It’s a tough ask, mainly because there a too few superlatives available across their season to pepper my reviews with appropriate glory. Back in my 20s I would pack sandwiches and hang out in the staff bar, a glamorous thing in itself. These days I go with friends and we splash out and dine in one of the three restaurants. On Saturday it was Ariadne auf Naxos, gloriously rich fare that deserved an equally delicious interval feast. We were not to be disappointed. Middle & Over Wallop is our top choice and for this season the menu in their top restaurant has been overseen by none other than the legendary Albert Roux. I guess if you’re Glyndebourne seeking a food mentor with class it would have to be a Roux. Dinner in Middle & Over Wallop is an amazing affair, sparkling and glamorous and run with near military precision. Well it would have to be to make sure we are all back in our seats for the second half. But can that kind of dining be done with so regimented a process? The answer is yes, yes, yes.

Mr R 2 had the fillet of sea trout with asparagus, broad beans, Chanterelle mushroom and Sauterne wine sauce. He’s a veggie of sorts by which I mean he is a fussy eater. Anyway, he loved the dish and almost had to be restrained from licking the plate. Three of us chose the bitter chocolate tart with griotte cherries. Cherries are high on my good to eat diet right now so it was an obvious choice for me and Mrs C is a chocolate addict, only using very high grade but secreting it around her home in odd places for emergencies. Anyway we loved it, it was dangerously dark and came with little fruit grenades of boozy cherry. Mr R chose the Opera gateau, a classic work of French patisserie that came with coffee ice-cream and a mocha sauce. I looked on with envy even though my tart was delicious. We drank a good bottle of white sancerre and finished with coffee and the bill was... well, let us say that it was exactly what one would expect to pay for fine dining and possibly less that one might expect for Albert Roux. He was there by the way, greeting us as we went in, but sadly gone when we left. I wanted to shake him by the hand and thank him for a rather grand dinner. We returned to our seats and watched the shivering picnickers return from their unseasonally chill al fresco repasts. For more information about dining at Glyndebourne visit www.diningatglyndebourne.com For tickets visit glyndebourne.com

Follow me: latestandrew What’s your favourite opera? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist

The Chilli Pickle

Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk British & Modern European

Indian

Bardsley’s

Chaula’s Lewes

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

The Foragers

Foragers Outdoor Silent Movie Festival 2013: The imaginative team at this award-winning pub will be showing movies throughout May. The festival starts on Thursday 3 May at 8.30pm with movies shown every night until the end of May. So if you fancy watching some silent classics in an acclaimed beer garden whilst enjoying some top nosh or just a few choice pints then you know where to go. Foragers were winners of the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Awards 2012 for Best Eating Experience in Sussex and awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, 01273 733134, www.theforagerspub.co.uk

The Townhouse

At Kemp Town's favourite restaurant their chefs lovingly create delicious menus using the finest locally sourced produce. They take huge pride in delivering quality food with a warm and friendly welcome. The Townhouse has an amazing location overlooking New Steine and the buzzing St. James Street. You can relax in their bar with your favourite cocktail while listening to live music. Join them for Kemp Town’s best breakfast every Saturday and Sunday 9am–12pm, lunch from 12pm everyday, and dinner from 6pm. They offer amazing value set menus, lunch (2 course £11.95) and evening (2 courses £14.95), Monday–Thursday, and the best roast in town on Sunday’s from £9.95. 01273 693216 81-82 St James Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1PA www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton, 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900 383, www.thechillipickle.com

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indianinspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at http://thechillipicklecanteen.com 01273 900384

Nooris

Nooris Indian restaurant in central Brighton has been newly refurbished and offers a fantastic setting for lunch or dinner.

The menu features a great selection of meat and vegetables. A two-course lunch or early dinner is available for just £6.95, and their Sunday buffet is just £5.50 – available 12pm–5pm. Try their delicious homemade fish or chicken thali; you won’t be disappointed! Nooris, 70/71 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 329405 www.noorisbrighton.co.uk

Italian Al Duomo

Brighton’s longest established family run pizzeria, using fresh ingredients, has recently updated its menu and restaurant team. Offering a comprehensive array of traditional stone-baked pizzas made fresh daily with gourmet ingredients imported direct from Italy and authentic Italian dishes from the a la carte menu. Gluten-free pasta and vegan dishes are also offered. Try their special lunch/pre-theatre menu at £9.95 for two courses with a great selection of choices or £12.75 for three courses. Cocktails are available from the cocktail bar and Monday to Friday you can enjoy 2-4-1 cocktails from 3pm–9pm. Check out the special mid-week Cabaret Nights, Elvis, Michael Buble and Las Vegas Swing. Open seven days a week. Booking recommended. Al Duomo Restaurant, 6 & 7 Pavilion Buildings, Brighton, BN1 1EE, 01273 326741, www.alduomo.co.uk

Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Spanish Agua Dulce The Foragers

If you like your tapas authentic then this is the place for you. Brilliant traditional Spanish food with regional specialities in relaxed

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

surroundings. Superb meat, fish and seafood tapas plus excellent larger dishes like their suckling pig. There is live flamenco every Thursday, three for two tapas (terms & conditons apply) and specials every weekend including new tapas dishes and main courses. Paella, sangria... all that’s missing is the Mediterranean sun! Agua Dulce, 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE, 01273 328672, www.aguadulce-restaurant.com

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove. This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and they’re open every day, so come down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!). The Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with twocourses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95. Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Tea & Coffee Shops Drury Tea & Coffee

Drury Tea & Coffee specialists offer infinite choices of espresso, filter and cafetiere coffee for home and business use. Their Richardson Road retail store is stocked with single origin beans, espresso blends, green, white and black teas. Wholesale section for restaurants, cafés, pubs and offices, plus free deliveries throughout East and West Sussex. Drury Tea & Coffee, Richardson Road, Hove, BN3 5RB, 01273 888600, www.drurysouthern.co.uk

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LOVEFIT CAFE

light mayo and red onion. £3.99 eat in or takeaway • Tuscan Tuna Salad – Made with spinach, red chard, lambs lettuce, baby plum tomatoes, olives, egg, grated carrot and cannellini beans. £3.49 takeaway (£4.19 to eat in) • The “New Yorker” Toastie – Made with thick sliced granary bread, low fat Somerset mature cheddar cheese, pastrami, gherkins and mustard mayo. £3.39 eat in or takeaway • Orang-O-Mang Smoothie – Mango and Banana blended with Orange juice and 95% fat free natural yogurt. From £2.89 takeaway (£3.49 to eat in). LoveFit Café offers free wi-fi to its customers and situated as it is, between Fitness First and LA Fitness, is ideal for gym goers to get a protein fix after their gym session. Being on Queens Road, it is also on the main route to Brighton Station, making it ideal for commuters and yummy mums alike to get hold of fitter, fresh food. Plus their outside terrace offers the opportunity for anyone to just take a break, enjoy one of LoveFit’s fabulous coffees and watch the hustle and bustle of Queens Road go by. LoveFit Café, 110 Queens Road, BN1 3XF 01273 720100 and 14 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD 01273 777941 www.lovefit.co.uk

Latest 7 takes a peek at LoveFit Café’s mouth-watering menu

fter five years of serving their customers; delicious, but surprisingly healthy, fresh food and drinks from their original café at 14 Brighton Square in the Lanes, LoveFit Café has opened a new branch at 110 Queens Road in Brighton. Their new café, with its cool colonial surfing look projects an on-trend healthy lifestyle image with mouth-watering, freshly made food and drinks to back it up. The menu includes: • Barista prepared, locally roasted organic

coffees and organic teas. From £1.85 for a takeaway cappuccino. • Raspberry Porridge – Thick ’n’ creamy porridges made with semi skimmed milk, Scottish rolled oats, honey, hot fresh raspberries, greek yogurt and topped with pumpkin seeds. £3.29 takeaway (£3.79 to eat in) • Italian Chicken Panini – Made with a delightfully healthy combination of low fat mozzarella and low fat Somerset mature cheddar, spinach, fresh basil,

ATTENTION ALL LICENSING & PLANNING CONSULTANTS, ARCHITECTS AND SOLICITORS

Are you looking to place affordable Public Notices in a recognised publication? Contact Latest Homes’ business ad sales team today to find out how.

01273 818150

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WAVE WORLD Health & beauty news & reviews

BOOST JUICE BARS

Newly opened in Churchill Square, Brighton, is the first Boost Juice Bar in Sussex. The Australian brand is now available for thirsty mall shoppers, following a fantastic launch this month (see Latest People, p5). The Low-Down menu includes full nutritional and allergy info. Smoothies are made fresh right in front of you, using premium ingredients, and you can supplement your juice or smoothie with a booster. There’s refreshing fruit crushes and even hot drinks too. The hardest part is choosing just one item off the menu... Boost Juice Bars, Churchill Square, Brighton, (opposite Miss Selfridge) www.boostjuicebars.co.uk

SPA LUXURY AT THE GRAND HOTEL Following a huge refurbishment, the luxury new spa at The Grand Hotel is now open for business. Spa Manager Genevieve Ainsworth and the team offer a full day spa experience, even if you’re only booked in for a one hour facial! Change into a fluffy spa robe and slippers, unwind in the Relaxation Lounge before or after your treatment, and enjoy massage therapy, a rejuvenating facial or a luxury manicure in the tranquil surroundings. Located downstairs at The Grand Hotel, the hustle and bustle of city life is left behind as soon as you enter the brand new facilities. The Carita facial from France is extremely popular, as are the facials using the finest ESPA products. For energised skin, we love the Enzyme Facial, a rejuvenating peel using organic products (no harsh chemical peels here!). Collagen is boosted, with the

Hit the beach

Shape up for summer by enrolling now in Christian Vila’s Beach Body Bootcamp

ow in its fourth year, the Beach Body Fat loss programme makes promises no other bootcamp or trainer dares: if you’re not happy with the results, you get all your money back! Christian Vila, owner of Brighton Kettlebells is putting his money where his mouth is, with the Beach Body fat loss programme for 2013. Christian has put together a 28-day programme, which guarantees changes to your body shape, increased energy and improved health, by using the latest training tools including Kettlebells, sandbags, ropes and fun group exercises, alongside an easy to follow detox diet. Taxi driver, Richard from Hove, says of the programme: “Thanks to this bootcamp I was able to lose 8kg of fat and keep it off!” Clients will be expected to attend a minimum of three training sessions per week at two locations in Brighton and Hove (indoor and outdoor spaces), whilst following a prescribed healthy eating plan for 28 days. The Beach Body programme, which commences on Saturday15 June 2013, is enrolling now with limited spaces at £95. To enrol visit www.kettlebellsbootcamp.co.uk or call Christian on 07876 558 850.

application of hot and cold products and wash cloths to boost circulation. It’s a natural and refreshing energy boost – for the skin! The Grand Hotel Spa, Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 224313.

CLINIQUE PAMPER EVENT

Make your way to Boots on North Street, Brighton, on Thursday 20 June for a pampering event in aid of local charity Amaze, supporting families of children with special needs and disabilities. Be the first to review the new Clinique range, have a mini facial, a makeover and learn beauty tips and tricks. Sip on bubbly and receive a luxury goody bag plus a £5 voucher. All in aid of a good cause! What’s not to love? Numbers are limited so book now. Call Nicky at Amaze on 01273 772289 or email nickyb@amazebrighton.org.uk Thursday 20 June, 7.30pm–10pm, £15, Boots, North Street, Brighton.

SNACK LIKE A CELEB

This summer we can’t get enough of Goji Berries from Creative Nature. Models Miranda Kerr and Kate Moss are fans. The naturally sweet Chinese wonder fruit helps beat sugar cravings, and a few handfuls provides more than 500 times the Vitamin C you would get from an orange! No wonder the models favour it! The tin keeps them airtight, but pop some in a snack box or sandwich bag for a healthy snack when you’re on the go. You get used to the flavour if you eat them on their own, but you can mix them with your favourite cereal too! £6.40 for 150g www.creativenaturesuperfoods.co.uk

GET YOUR HAIR CUT FOR CHARITY! And you don’t need to shave your head like superstar Jessie J did for Comic Relief (we promise!). Trevor Sorbie Brighton’s Senior Top Stylist James Leach will be running a 24-hour hair-cutting extravaganza on 1 June in aid of Rockinghorse. Book an appointment during the event for £50 with 100 per cent donated to Rockinghorse. Call 01273 220007 to book or donate online at www.justgiving.com/TrevorSorbie24

Follow me: latestzara

021_LS630_W131_revitalise_Revitalise 24/05/2013 10:15 Page 3

wave 21

A way with water Digestive problems? Improve your health with colonic hydrotherapy at Revitalise

olonic Hydrotherapy is a great Benefits of colonic treatment for our modern lifestyle. In a society where hydrotherapy fatty, processed foods is the norm in the average person’s diet (because •Colonic Hydrotherapy clears old of cost and ease), Colonic faecal matter, gas, mucus and Hydrotherapy is the ultimate detox toxic substances in the colon for the body, eliminating waste and •Improved digestion, meaning toxins. Even if you follow a healthy less gas, bloating and food diet filled with plenty of fruit, intolerances vegetables and protein, •Increased energy, mental environmental toxins can cause clarity and fewer headaches build-up, which is where Colonic •Clearer skin Hydrotherapy treatment comes in... •Improved immune system Far from being a new concept, and joint conditions Colonic Hydrotherapy was recorded as far back as the Ancient Egyptians. The equipment used to deliver the treatment has changed since then, of course, except for the key ingredient: fresh water. An appointment at Revitalise is 75 minutes in length, but much of this time is taken with a consultation by a well trained and caring professional. The actual treatment takes about 30 minutes. Filtered water is introduced into the colon gently using only the pressure of gravity. With specific massage techniques, the water begins to soften any deposits and cleanse the colon of faecal matter, which is instantly piped away with the waste water. Colon cleansing is extremely beneficial to those with digestive issues. The colon is responsible for the last stages of digestion, but with modern living, Colonic Hydrotherapy is simply helping nature along – and making our digestive system more effective at the same time! The healthy transit time of food through our bodies is less than 24 hours but on the average in the UK is 60 hours for men and 70 hours for women. Regular bowel movements are important for our health and wellbeing. For more information or for a consultation on Colonic Hydrotherapy at Revitalise give them a call! Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, hove@revitalise-u.com, and 123A Western Road, Brighton, 01273 710855, brighton@revitalise-u.com, Visit the website www.revitalise-u.com for special offers. Like us on Facebook for a chance to win a free massage

Leave a review of Revitalise on Tripadvisor to receive all the latest special offers

022_LS630_W131_BHStopSmoking_011_LS466_interview 24/05/2013 12:55 Page 1

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Quit the habit

Brighton & Hove Stop Smoking launches free ‘Stop Smoking Easily’ Ebook

arol Adams of Brighton And Hove Stop Smoking is delighted to announce the launch of her new book Stop Smoking Easily Without Cravings In 60 Minutes. Have a little sympathy for smokers! Anyone who has tried to quit smoking will know it’s a tough habit to give up and no wonder, nicotine is as addictive as heroin or cocaine. Within 10 seconds of inhaling tobacco smoke a concentrated dose of nicotine is delivered directly to your brain causing it to release two substances: noradrenaline and dopamine which act as stimulants. This gives you the ‘rush’ that makes smoking seem pleasurable. Over time you need greater amounts of nicotine to alleviate the withdrawal symptoms that set in when the effects wear off. This is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to quit smoking. Some things the tobacco companies would rather you didn’t know Modern cigarettes contain ‘fillers’ which are made from the stem and other bits of tobacco that would otherwise be waste products. These

are mixed with water and various flavourings and additives. There are 600 permitted additives used to make cigarettes more palatable to the smoker. These include: • Sugars and sweeteners to mask the harsh taste of tobacco smoke • Menthol to numb your throat • Cocoa to expand your airways so that more smoke can be inhaled • Moisturisers to stop cigarettes getting stale Tobacco smoke contains over 4,000 different chemicals and at least 60 can cause cancer. There are poisons like arsenic and cyanide as well as substances more often found in floor cleaner, rocket fuel, embalming fluid, and exhaust fumes. Heavy smokers (more than 25 cigarettes a day) have about a 50 per cent chance of dying by the time they're 69.

NLP • HYPNOTHERAPY • LIFE COACHING

the

conway practice Specialist in Smoking Cessation and Weight Control • Self Esteem • Anxiety • Phobias

Jonathan Conway Bsc Dip EHPNLP MNCH (acc) NLP Master Practitioner & Coach

(Hypnotherapy)

• Public Speaking • Relationship Difficulties

• Learn Self Hypnosis Help with Emotional problems and Wellbeing

Brighton, Hove, East Sussex & London Practices

01273 540425 • 07956 855027 www.theconwaypractice.co.uk @ConwayPractice

Heart attacks are a major risk for smokers. If you stop, your risk of a heart attack drops to the same as a non-smoker within just three years. Why the addiction is so difficult to break? When the smoker gives up cigarettes, levels of the two chemicals mentioned earlier become so out of kilter that the person experiences intense symptoms, such as anxiety, depression and irritability, and they desperately crave cigarettes or nicotine to settle these problems. As an addiction, smokers need intensive support and treatment if their efforts to give up are to be successful. Very few can just stop smoking on their own. With no more than willpower to help them, only three per cent manage to quit. The most successful method yet with around a 90% success rate Bioresonance therapy has had so much positive press coverage recently e.g. Richard and Judy, BBC News 24 and The Telegraph, that you may have already heard of it. It has nothing to do with hypnosis but is a treatment that has been used to treat allergies, asthma,

skin problems and addiction problems in Europe for over 23 years and it’s now available here! During this time, the treatment has been modified and has now been found to be extremely effective in treating nicotine addiction and allergies. In fact this treatment has lead to almost 90% of people becoming free of their previous nicotine addiction after just one treatment. Brighton And Hove Stop Smoking offer the same treatment, using the exact same Bicom Bioresonance computer as featured on BBC news 24 and Richard & Judy. Get your free copy now by visiting the Kindle store; email

carol@brightonandhovestopsmoking.com,

or call 01273 251251.

www.brightonandhovestopsmoking.com

023_LS630_W131_CNM_CNM 22/05/2013 12:12 Page 3

Dear Jacquie Your queries about natural health answered by Jacquie Lane for The College of Naturopathic Medicine Q. I am recovering from a recently broken leg. How can I aid the healing process through nutrition? PF, Brighton A. The bones in our body are living tissue and need a constant supply of nutrients to keep them healthy and strong. Think of a sea sponge with its honeycomb-like structure; it needs moisture and nutrients for repair and healing. Amongst many others, specific nutrients that help this process are zinc, magnesium, vitamin C, biotin, calcium, omega 3, vitamin D, and bromelain which is an enzyme from pineapple. Suggested food choices: Aim to have a varied diet and include at each meal good quality protein, essential for body tissue repair and maintenance. Choices should include fish, beans, lentils, and chickpeas. Include complex carbohydrates at each meal, such as whole grains, eg brown rice,

wave 23 reducing inflammation. E.g. cold pressed olive oil, hemp and flax seed oil, salmon, sardines, or mackerel. Incorporate into your daily diet seeds such as flax, pumpkin, sunflower, or sesame. Use them in salads, or grind some into a mixture and add it to porridge, or use the cold pressed oils in salad dressings. Eliminate caffeine from coffee, and tannins from tea, which are dehydrating. Instead, drink more herbal teas. Lifestyle advice: Do all the exercises your physiotherapist has recommended and rest according to their instructions. Stop alcohol and smoking as this will delay the healing process.

quinoa, and whole wheat or rye and spelt in breads or pasta. Aim to eat at least 5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7 portions in total of a rainbow assortment of vegetables and fruit each day, to get a good intake of antioxidants and phytonutrients, which are good for repair and healing. The extra fibre will help ensure good bowel elimination, as when people are off their feet constipation may be a problem, especially if you are on painkillers. Include oils from foods which contain omega 3, as these may help with joint flexibility and

Supplements which may be appropriate: Omega 3 oil, bromelain on an empty stomach, bone strength â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;multiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; formulas, glucosamine. See a nutritional therapist for advice and an individual plan.

CNM open evening

Interested in training to become a nutritional therapist? Please book to attend a CNM open evening. Next dates in Brighton: 5 June and 3 July Call 01342 410505 www.naturopathy-uk.com

Jacquie Lane is both a lecturer and the Director of Studies at CNM (College of Naturopathic Medicine) in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues. Email Jacquie at: sunshinenutrition@hotmail.co.uk

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WHAT’S ON MUSIC CHART, REVIEWS&BOOKINGS

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

Latest Brighton Download Chart

Sweet Jonny overtakes some of the most popular tunes this week to arrive at the number one spot. Other new additions to the Top 20 include The Wolfgirl Liberation, Mac Chine and Mirika. Bert and Stan are still holding on as are Cantata and The Dead Reds. Words: Holly Cozens

Bookings LEE EVANS – MONSTERS

Brighton Centre, 27–31 August 2014, £27.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk ‘Monsters’ is Lee’s amazing new show with over 50 nights in the biggest arenas in the country. Aren’t we lucky so-and-so’s – we’ve got five nights of glorious Mr Evans!

BLUE

Brighton Centre, 8 November 2013, £18.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk After already announcing further dates to the tour, due to an outstanding response from fans, another seven additional dates have been added to the upcoming tour.

EDDIE IZZARD, BOBBY WOMACK AND THE BALLETBOYZ JOIN LATITUDE LINE-UP

1 Sweet Jonny Soft 2 The Black Fields The Fighter

5 The Pulse Used In Part

Latitude Festival, 18–21 July 2013, £5–£182.50, Henham Park, Southwold, 0871 231 0821, www.latitudefestival.co.uk Fantastic new additions to the Latitude attendents in Eddie Izzard, Bobby Womack and the BalletBoyz, plus appearances from Nina Conti, Richard Herring, the Rubberbandits, Stuart Maconie and more.

6 Mac Chine Tell Me

JAKE BUGG

3 Osaro and RJ Shut Up and Dance 4 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday

7 Fred Oskar Just A Haircut 8 The Dead Reds People Rise 9 The Speak Beautiful People 10 Cantata Songbird 11 Mirika Legs 4 Africa 12 Sia-Apantha-Cali Raining Season 13 The Fooley Mantras The Prince of Orange Lane 14 Running Dogs Rumpunch 15 Bert and Stan Bring it Home to Engerland

Brighton Centre, 22 October 2013, £17.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Jake has been nominated for Best Breakthrough Act at the Brits 2013, and has picked up another two nods at the NME Awards for Best Solo Act and the prestigious Best Album. His eponymously-titled album has been certified Platinum in the UK.

FATBOY SLIM AT BESTIVAL

Bestival, Isle of Wight, 5–8 September 2013, £127–316, 0844 888 4410, www.Bestival.net Featuring 10 fields of wonderment and 20 stages filled with amazing music, insane sideshows and magical happenings, Bestival’s spectacular 10th birthday bash this September is set to be nothing short of epic, with our very own Fatboy Slim taking Friday’s headliner spot.

Under review

’APPY ARIADNE R

ARIADNE AUF NAXOS, Glyndebourne, 18 May 2013 ✪✪✪✪✪ ichard Strauss was surely playing when he wrote this, a rich man toying with artists, setting high art against low and poking fun at the whimsical world of patronage. In this new Glyndebourne production director Katharina Thoma shifts the whole to Britain in WWII, pitting the composer against the dance master and his ENSA troupe. It’s a reasonable conceit but not that exciting. Then after the half we discover that rather than seeing the juxtaposition of the tow in their performance the whole is now set in the same house after requisition as a hospital, and here the parties play out their personal stories of degradation and despair – somewhat baffling and were it not for some fine singing and excellent playing not altogether successful. Thomas Allen and William Relton are in fine voice, Laura Claycomb too as the feisty Zebrine and the nymphs turned nurse sing with an elegance and precision that is breathtaking. But it is Kate Lindsey who steals the evening as the composer. Her twitchily anxious character succinctly portrays the frustrations of a creative mind being messed with and she sings the role with soaring clarity throughout, even when she has been condemned to the dismal director’s ward. Oddly for Glyndebourne, the supposedly interesting setting, and a rather unspectacular set, have to be put to the back of ones’ mind and the singing allowed to take centre stage if you are to fully enjoy this new production. Thank god then that the singing is of such a high standard. Andrew Kay

THE SUN THAT CASTS NO SHADOWS

The Sun That Casts No Shadows is a site-specific adaptation of Camus’ ‘The Outsider’ set in and around the Volks nightclub. At first this seemed like an odd choice of venue, but turned out to be very effective. The audience were the jury in the trial of Meursault and were taken outside to view the exact location on the beach where the murder happened. With no set, but clever use of the venue’s different rooms, the bar, the CCTV, and the audience’s own imagination, we were in an Algerian old folk’s home, a cinema, a courtroom and a prison cell. An original and imaginative production and a very impressive performance. Volks Bar and Club, 18 May 2013 ✪✪✪✪ Jenni Davidson

BUG: A FATBOY SLIM SPECIAL

Joined on stage by Norman Cook, the man himself, and Skint Records’ Damian Harris; Adam Buxton hosted a retrospective of Mr Slim’s music videos that, while not completely extensive, was never less that breezily entertaining. Augmented by Buxton’s own musings on his earache (that necessitated a trip to A&E) and bizarre storybook Scottish accents, the centrepieces were the videos. Projected on to a cinema screen and with excellent audio, the classic clips had never been better. Insane YouTube comments brought the house down and Cook & Harris provided some great behind-the-scenes anecdotes. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 20 May 2013 ✪✪✪✪ Simon Plotkin

16 The Kids Ring Out the Bells 17 Cantata Over Love

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18 The Cocktail Party Fairytale

KETTLEBELLS with Lucy Howlett

19 Tractor Countdown Love’s Elusions

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TOP 20

L7 what’s on

024_027_LS630_previews_editorial 24/05/2013 10:40 Page 3 Foreste

WHAT’S ON STAGE

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES Less Than Kind Theatre Royal, Brighton Until Sat 1 June Box office 0844 8717650 www.atgtickets.com Diamond Studio Theatre, Brighton Dome Mon 3–Sun 9 June Box Office 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org

STAGE: COMEDY STARS JOIN FORCES FOR ONE NIGHT TO RAISE FUNDS FOR WRITER’S DYING WISH Andrew Kay mourns the loss of Adrian Bunting, one of Brighton’s greatest characters & theatrical minds

first met Adrian Bunting after seeing him in his show about Tom Sawyer. It was a brilliant performance, a beautifully conceived and well written piece and a totally captivating performance. I remember him so well, sitting on the edge of the stage, swinging his legs and puffing on a clay pipe and after the show drinking with him. It was the first of many drinks we shared over the years. He was a remarkable man, a doer in a world where too many

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

King Lear Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre on tour Connaught Theatre, Worthing Fri 31 May–Sat 1 June Box office 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk A Beginning, A Muddle and An End The New Venture, Brighton Tue 28 May–Sat 1 June Box office 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.ukwww.

people sit around and plan but never actually realise those plans. He was generous too and his Zincbar offered many opportunities for the writers and performers of the next generation, many of whom have gone on to achieve success in their fields. I was later honoured when he asked me to design some publicity for him, a show that saw him playing a gin-soaked Victorian scallywag with collaborator Clea. It was another fun production that showed off his twinkling stage presence to the full. But that twinkle went beyond performance, it was always there and on every occasion that we met I would leave with a smile on my face, hope in my heart and usually a few drinks in my belly. When he asked me to review Kemble’s Riot I knew I was in for a great evening, sadly not with him on stage but this time creating a piece of theatre that took audience participation to a new level. I loved it and gave it five stars, a thought that stays with me now as I give him five enormous and glittering stars for a life lived to the full and to full effect. As recently as April this year Adrian was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. He died on Saturday 11 May at the age of just 47. Knowing he had just weeks to live, Adrian spent the last month of his life putting together plans for an open-air theatre in the city’s Dyke Road Park. A guiding light in Brighton’s arts scene, creator of the legendary performance platform Zincbar and winner of the Best Play at Brighton Festival 2011 for Kemble’s Riot, Adrian believed passionately in the power of theatre. Brighton Open Air Theatre (Boat) will be his lasting legacy and Adrian bequeathed a large sum of money to help fund the project. On Sunday 16 June a group of Adrian’s associates, who also happen to be some of the biggest names in UK comedy, gather at Brighton Dome to stage a benefit as a tribute to their friend and to raise funds to help ensure that his dying wish becomes a reality. The line-up comprises Stewart Lee, Mark Thomas, Tim Vine, Joanna Neary, Simon Evans and Susan Murray. They will join forces to present an evening of comedy and laughter in memory of a man who contributed so much to the artistic landscape of the city he loved. A Comedy Benefit for Adrian Bunting Memorial Fund Brighton Dome, Sunday 16 June, 8pm, £20/15 01273 709709, tickets@brightondome.org, www.brightondome.org

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024_027_LS630_previews_editorial 24/05/2013 16:57 Page 4

WHAT’S ON COMEDY&FILM, ART&EVENTS COMEDY: EDDIE IZZARD: FORCE MAJEURE Izzard’s international ‘Force Of Nature’ show is back, by popular demand, a month later and still packed with historical ideas, surreal whims and a nifty little song sung acappella (and probably made up on the spot). The king of whimsy returns, with politics clearly at the forefront of his mind but wit always all-encompassing. Brighton Centre, Sat 1–Sun 2 June, 6.30pm, £35 COMEDY: SEAN MCLOUGHLIN: BACKBONE A preview of Sean McLoughlin’s debut show. After a few years of gigging McLoughlan has collected his best bits and is premiering his first hour-long show, promising wry observations on life and painfully honest and funny anecdotes. Caroline Of Brunswick, Sat 1 June, 8.30pm, free

Iron Man 3

COMEDY: JULIAN CLARY – POSITION VACANT: APPLY WITHIN

Eddie Izzard

The self-proclaimed ‘Lord of the Mince’ returns to Brighton yet again with a mix of vintage chutzpah & that familiar sparkle that breaks all boundaries

illing the ample space of the Dome’s Concert Hall (I thank you), the king of innuendo, the prince of the double entendre, and any other regal title you care to bestow upon him – Julian Clary is in town with a show of classic material and on the hunt for a husband. After playing to packed houses on previous visits, his calling on Brighton has become something of an annual treat, as the rooms he plays get bigger and the banter more familiar and loved. It’s unlikely Clary’ll enter as he did a few years back when he was playing at what is now the Studio Theatre – on roller skates and benefiting from what looked like a good, if not too controlled, push – but from start to finish you can bet he will charm, titillate and enchant you. It’s good to see the star of television and panto, acclaimed novelist and columnist back treating his stand-up roots (and having them fully blow dried). This is where he started and some would argue, what he does best. Alas, these days he is without his small but perfectly formed canine companion, but the risqué chat and hoot-roaring-laughter cheek is still utterly present and correct. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Saturday 1 June, 8pm, £20/18, 01273 709709, brightondome.org

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TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

ART: MARIA RIVANS With the theme of nature as a backdrop, Maria converts the gallery into a fantastical jungle environment, using an array of sourced vintage ephemera and complete with astro turf and tumbling flora and fauna, transporting us physically into her surreal world in which to explore her humorous and bizarre 3D collages. Ink_d Gallery, 96 North Road, 01273 645299. Until 2 June

ART: GRADUATE SHOW '13 Over 500 final year students will show their work at the annual University of Brighton Faculty of Arts Graduate Show, offering visitors the opportunity to seek out, purchase and commission work from those destined to follow in the footsteps of alumni such as fashion designer Julien Macdonald OBE or Turner Prize winners Keith Tyson and Rachel Whiteread. University of Brighton Gallery, Grand Parade, 01273 643010. Fri 31 May–Wed 12 June EVENTS: CHARITY 24 HOUR HAIRDRESSING HAIRATHON Come down to Trevor Sorbie on Saturday as top stylist James Leach attempts to do as many haircuts as possible in 24 hours to raise money for local charity, Rockinghorse. Clients will donate £50 for their new

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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024_027_LS630_previews_editorial 24/05/2013 10:43 Page 5

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&FILM, ART&EVENTS

MUSIC: MEAT PUPPETS Jeff Hemmings looks at the history of these American cult heroes

Byzantium

style to help raise funds. Trevor Sorbie, Nile Street, Brighton, Saturday 1 June, 8.30am, £50 donation Call Trevor Sorbie on 01273 220007 or Rockinghorse at 01273 330044 to book an appointment. If you just wish to donate, visit www.justgiving.com/TrevorSorbie24

good at typing though that he gets the taste of his old competitive spirit back and makes a bit for the country’s prestigious typing contests. Starring Romain Duris and Deborah Francois. Showing Fri 31 May Showing at Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, Odeon and Cineworld

EVENTS: BRIGHTON MARINA URBAN DANCE DAY Help Stereoshok and BN1 get to the World Street Dance Championships by getting down to a whole free day of dance for the whole family. Streetfunk hosts this great fundraising event full of workshops, battles, performances, prizes and much more for all ages. Brighton Marina, Sunday 2 June, 11am–5pm, Free

MUSIC: FRINGE CLUB The pop-up Warren concludes the Fringe this weekend with a couple of Fringe Club show; the ska-surf sounds of Jacquemo meets The Detonators (31 May), while the brilliantly dark ska-rock-cabaret sounds of Mynie Moe (featuring two members of 12 Stone Toddler) meets Dirty Divine. If you haven’t checked out the delights of this venue here’s your last chance. The Warren, Fri 31 May–Sat 1 June, 10.30pm, £8/6

FILM: BYZANTIUM (15) Dir: Neil Jordan Anyone getting vampire-fatigue yet? Well, here’s a shot in the art to the genre as Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan (loving the projects they pick) turn up as two mysterious women on the run and seeking sanctuary from the past. Thing is, people then start turning up dead. ‘Love helping people, but not if it puts us in danger’ is the motto of this town and the mood starts to turn. Also starring Jonny Lee Miller. Released Fri 31 May Showing at Odeon and Cineworld FILM: POPULAIRE (12A) Dir: Regis Roinsard Set in the 1950s, this French comedy tells the story of a young woman who escapes smalltown life for the big city by getting a secretarial post with a charismatic ex-sportsman. She’s so

MUSIC: TERRY REID Terry Reid, Superlungs as he’s affectionately known, is without doubt one of the greatest rock/soul voices this country has ever produced. Legend has it he turned down the job of singer with Led Zeppelin, recommending his mate Robert Plant instead! Aretha Franklin said in 1968 that The Beatles, The Stones and Terry Reid were the best this country had to offer, and he even played the very first Glastonbury Festival in 1970. Komedia, Tue 28 May, 7.30pm, £17.50 For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

uite incredibly The Meat Puppets have been ploughing their alternative rock agenda for over 30 years, having formed in Arizona in 1980, with the ever present Kirkwood Brothers (Curt and Cris) along with Derrick Bostrom on drums. One of the more notable groups on the roster of the legendary SST label (home to Husker Du amongst others) they started out as a punk outfit, but like most of their SST peers, they soon established their own unique style, blending punk with country and psychedelic rock. For many, the only exposure to The Meat Puppets was via the Kirkwood brothers’ appearance as guest musicians on Nirvana’s seminal MTV unplugged performance in 1993. Cobain was a fan of the band and they performed several tracks off the Meat Puppets II album, including the cult favourite ‘Lake Of Fire’. Not surprisingly, their 1994 album Too High To Die became their most successful release. Their initial punk rock sound of the early ‘80s quickly gave way by their second album, Meat Puppets II, to acid rock and country and western influences – along with acts such as Violent Femmes and Gun Club they helped establish the ‘cow punk’ genre. But for many it is their 1985 album Up On The Sun that is their crowning achievement. A unique hybrid of Byrdesque folk rock, desert Americana, psychedelia and rock, their superbly tight rhythm section was oddly complimented by their supposedly purposeful off-key vocals. It is a minor classic of the underground American music scene of the ‘80s. Well received albums such as Out My Way, Mirage, Huevos and Monsters followed before the huge interest in all things Nirvana led them to signing with London Records and releasing Forbidden Places in 1991. 1994’s Too High To Die sold 500,000 copies (outselling their previous albums combined!) and represented the high water mark for the band. By this time the well worn path of excess took a hold, with Cris in particular falling heavily for heroin and cocaine. The original line-up split around this time, Cris going on to release a number of albums under various guises, while his brother Curt ended up in prison after an altercation with a security guard, getting shot twice in the stomach, but not fatally... Finally, in 2006 the band reformed following a MySpace message that went: “Question for all! Would the original line up of the Meat Puppets interest anyone? Feedback is good — do you want a reunion!?”. Animal Collective chose the band to perform the album Up On The Sun at the All Tomorrow’s Parties festival in 2011, and they've subsequently released two albums, Lollipop and this year's Rat Farm. The Haunt, Monday 3 June, 7pm, £13

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7pm £10/£8

8pm–11.30pm, £8 whole night/£5 OR £3.50 social dancing only/£3

classics delivered in a way that only Laura knows how. 10.30pm £8

Cabaret Bar

Cafe Bar

Nick Howard – Up Close & Acoustic

Shortt and Sweett

8pm Free Entry

Sat 1 The DBs

Tues 28 Paul Gunn & Worsted

Escape From East Berlin Madame Mesmer 9.30pm £8/£6

Wed 29 Tango Boot Camp Argentine Tango + bootcamp.

Fri 31 Amy in the Winehouse A Friday night with some serious balls, Amy

8pm £8/£6

Tenderhooks The Move-ons! 8pm £4

028_029_LS630_brightonafterdark_editorial 24/05/2013 16:35 Page 2

WHAT’S ON CLUBS

L7 SADE ALI CONSIDERS: IS CLUBBING GOOD OR BAD?

Bmusic I’m so tired, I haven’t slept a wink /I’m so tired, my mind is on the blink

ohn Lennon might have written these lyrics whilst in 1968 India, pining desperately for Yoko Ono whilst on a Transcendental Meditation retreat, but at the moment they seem to perfectly elucidate how it feels to be between our ears. It’s only 17:21 and yet we’re already thinking about going to bed. Fortunately, the reasons for such a slothful attitude are entirely wellfounded; it’s the day after The Great Escape and Lord knows we did this brilliant festival proud. You may or may not have seen us; we were the ones everywhere, mostly brandishing a microphone, always a smile and (generally) something strong to drink. It was Bmusic's first Great Escape and we had an absolute belter. As ever the biggest problem (if you could call it that) was that of overwhelming choice. There was the crème de la crème of the world’s newest talent playing in venues across the city, and getting to even a tenth of it would have been a feat to stump anyone without access to the secret of time travel. Still, we gave it a bloody good go and saw great sets from The Ruen Brothers and the whole ‘Latest Bar’ Britain vs Germany gig was atomic. Award for most likely to be a big fat pop star goes to Chloe Howl who, as well as being at the mic-stand of the best looking girl/boy band in all humanity, dropped a set of electro-pop that can surely take her into interstellar environs. Big shout outs go to each and every organiser who gained us our access for the event. It’s a crying shame it had to finish, but with Meadowlands just around the corner we’re not too sad. Roll on summer... Words: David Hillier

@Bmusic_TV

Youtube.com/thisisBmusic

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

his is a question that is frequently argued. A lot of people see clubbing as bad, the reasons behind this are quite reasonable. I mean, a place that you can consume ridiculous amounts of alcohol, potentially get hurt, have your drink spiked and talk to strangers doesn’t sound very good. The list of cons goes on and on. A lot of my friends are Muslim or Christian and frown upon clubbing; they see it as ‘harem’ and believe it is disrespectable. My views are this: a club is a place where you can let music pulse through your body and you can express your emotions and yourself through moving in any way you want. It’s a place where you can sing at the top of your lungs and no one will think you’re strange. You can drink responsibly as the security would never let anyone be too intoxicated on the premises; they are also there to keep everyone in the club safe. As for the people, I have met some of my closest friends in a club. Brighton is a wonderful place full of wonderful people, so why not start mingling? You never know who you will meet! When I go clubbing I use it as a chance to let loose, enjoy myself with my friends to good music and good vibes. So in my opinion there is nothing wrong with clubbing if you make sure you are responsible and with people you trust. Obviously the odd embarrassing night out on your own can be fun for some but I think I’m more of a group person.

A few tips on how to say safe • Use bottle stoppers, or just keep a careful eye on your drink • Make sure you have money to get home and keep it separate from your drink/food money • Do not drink excessively • Make sure you and your friends look out for each other • Girls: don’t go over the top with the height of your heels • Do not go home with someone you do not know • Do not take a drink from someone you do not know • Do not fight: you may be drunk but you’re not Superman Yate’s on a Thursday night is re-inventing itself as a club night rather than a pre-drinking bar! Mad4It have taken the role in hosting West Street’s exciting new night, with madcap and mayhem they are the freshest rave in town! The past weeks they have had a Bank Holiday Foam party, a rodeo night with a rodeo bull, and even a school themed night with everyone dressed up! With £1.50 drinks and cheap entry your bound to have an interesting night! As goes for the music expect nothing more than chart hits, commercial, R’n’B, club classics and an odd bit of house and old school garage! You can catch Mad4It each and every Thursday night at Yate’s Brighton. I know I'll be there!

@SadeAli

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028_029_LS630_brightonafterdark_editorial 23/05/2013 13:05 Page 3

WHAT’S ON CLUBS 29 BRIGHTON NOISE

>DON’T MISS<

DEFTONES SUNDAY

Andy Hinton on this week’s best gigs

For those of you who would enjoy nothing more than to listen to classic Deftones songs all night, read on. At Sticky Mike’s, you can enjoy the ‘90s alt-metal Sacramento crew wall to wall 'til your heart’s content. Sticky Mike's Frog Bar, Sunday 2 June, 8pm, Free

t’s the Monday following the three days of madness that was The Great Escape and I’ve just about recovered. The Brighton Noise Noisescape stage was a huge success despite having to have a long break in the afternoon as six weddings were taking place in the Town Hall. I don’t think the brides wanted to be escorted down the aisle to the sounds of thundering post rock. My highlights? The kid genius who is King Krule. A very late night spent dancing to the best techno I’ve heard for a long time courtesy of US DJ Jimmy Edgar in Life. The fantastic (as always) Canadian showcase at The Blind Tiger on Saturday. Free drink tokens and a fantastic BBQ helped along with the mellow country rock of Del Barber, the inventive Vondelpark ‘80s funk tinged indie of Royal Canoe and the awesomeness that is Boats. Every year Canada brings over some of the best music of the festival that unfortunately puts a lot of the rather mediocre Brit scenesters firmly in their hype-driven place. French band Concrete Knives had Audio going mental to their rhythmdriven ridiculously energetic Gallic indie. The final night at the Pavilion Theatre had the much talked about, undoubtedly talented but unbelievably boring Mary Epworth. We were woken from our slumber with an almighty bang by the best performance of the festival by the psychedelic wig-out rock of White Fence (yes another band not from the UK). I’ve banged on about TGE as unfortunately there's weirdly not a lot of interest going on this week. A highlight is the ethereal, mellow and quite lovely Vondelpark all the way from Surrey and playing at The Green Door Store. I’m just checking out their debut album, Seabed. I see they've been lazily compared to the overhyped XX but in my (very opinionated) opinion this lot have more going for them. If you like your math-rock you can do no wrong by heading to Brighton Electric Studios on Thursday for Cleft supported by Bearded Youth Quest and Cousin. On Saturday Brighton’s “Surf/Doom three piece” The Wytches (who are very much on the up and were on the GE main bill) have a free gig at The Hope. That’s it for this week but let’s face it, our tired legs could do with a bit of a rest after the gig-tastic madness of the last few months. For more info check out www.brightonnoise.co.uk

Pic Bella Howard

CHOP SOURCE Get a load of some funk and soul from the 1960s/’70s, The North Laine brings you some raw rhythms from all over the globe. Sway away your weekend with some quality music in a fun environment. The North Laine, Saturday 1 June, 9pm, Free

GARAGE It appears that new seafront club The Tube is ready to liven up your Friday nights and welcome in the weekend with a whole load of heavy bass. With guest DJs and cheap drinks. The Tube, Friday 31 May, 11pm–4am, £5 THEY MOSTLY COME AT NIGHT Resident DJs Jay and Rich play everything they can to keep you dancing, from rock and indie to electro and dubstep. The Mash Tun, Thursday 30 May, 9pm, Free

Pic Tom Scrace

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

@BrightonNoise

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030_LS630_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 22/05/2013 17:31 Page 2

STARS | TV

STARS With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Listening never was your best trait but as Mars moves into chatty Gemini this week, your mind will be racing faster than the Grand National! You actually thrive in the hubble bubble of a social whirlwind such as this, just think before you speak.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Conversations about money are likely and shouldn’t be put off now while your head is focused. Your values might be going through the tumble of change but mostly for the better. Mars makes impulse buys more likely this week so watch the wallet.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Make the most of this energy but getting out into the limelight and taking in your share of the attention. It feels good to be you, doesn’t it? While you’re able to assert your will with pleasant results, your ruler turns all watery and feelings matter.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

While just about everything is hiding out in a rather mysterious house, unconscious impulses may rise to the surface, leaving you to face parts of yourself you might prefer were left undisturbed. It’s good for you to be out of the limelight.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

A bit of healthy competition never hurt a sporty soul like yourself, so enjoy the challenge that may come from friends and associates as Mars moves into exhilarating Gemini. The pace of life quickens, and there’s nothing you can’t achieve.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

Your ever curious ruler Mercury changes sign. Meetings with people who think and feel alike can support your vision of the future. Grace honours you with the confidence of a senior authority figure, you can not only ask for what you want, but know you rightfully deserve it when it comes.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

Driving with the brakes on simply isn’t your style so don’t hold yourself back now. You’re attracting attention from overseas and far out places so your interest there is justified! Publishing deals may come in as you start to reach a wider audience.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

It’s not what they say, but what they don’t say that seems to speak to you. Yet you more than any other understand the need for discretion especially in matters surrounding the sexual interplay of power and money. Just remember that our imaginations can work both for and against us.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

If there’s ever a person who can accidentally be too insensitive or boisterous, it’s you. Yet in the very same token, if there’s ever a person who can be so easy to forgive, again it’s you. The way you relate to others is under the microscope.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Keeping on top of that health issue is important with so much activity in your sixth house of routine. While both Jupiter and Venus have been encouraging a rather lackadaisical approach to lifestyle choices, energetic Mars will boost your vitality.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

Which would you prefer to hear first? The good news or the good news? It’s not easy being miserable when the bounty of life is at your disposal and you’re like the kid that got all the toys. Your greatest asset is your light-hearted approach, if you wake up laughing, you’ve won.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

The magician in the tarot deck calls upon all four elements to create his will upon the world. One quarter of that magic belongs to Saturn and earthbound limitations. This means that while the rest of the magic may stem partly from imagination, it’s not a good trick until it’s been made manifest. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 828 MAY – 3 JUNE transform the Banbury Intricate Craft Circle into the Banbury Intricate Craft Circle Politely Requests Women's Suffrage. However, on this matter she is not without opposition. Now, whoever thought to cast Rebecca Front as With Victoria Nangle the matriarch that would leave Miss Haversham shaking in her boots had a stroke of genius. With proclamations of; “We don’t need electricity!” and; “does your husband know you're cavorting with skirted anarchists?”, you’ve got to have proper chutzpah to carry these convictions off, which Front has. So much more formidable than she was when nce upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, helping to run the country in The Thick Of It, Front’s Jessica Hynes and Simon Pegg wrote a dowager is almost enough to make a modern little comedy series called Spaced. It did woman question whether really a massive rosette rather well. Since then Simon Pegg has gone on to and a nice slice of Victoria sponge really is better co-write and co-star in what is now known as the than campaigning for equality. Cornetto trilogy (the third part, World’s End, due And here’s another thing – anecdotally I am out this summer) as well as pop up in various hearing more and more that ‘feminist’ has become a other flicks, including most recently the Star Trek dirty word with young women of the 21st century. franchise, being a particlarly Perfect timing then for high pitched Mr Scott. something accessible and Jessica Hynes got married, also clever to remind us all “you’ve got to have had a family, and then quite how far we’ve come and proper chutzpah to featured in some hardly what respect we owe to those small themselves movies to upon whose shoulders carry these convictions women do with a certain boy wizard we now stand. with a scar, as well as in the I do love quite how clever off, which Front has” multi award-winning Margaret Unwin really is, a Olympics satire 2012. Not too great starting point for the shabby. So with that thinking-person’s comedy series’ story arc. She hasn’t told her husband about calibre in mind, I was intrigued when I heard that her recent suffrage epiphany as he’s been in a funk Jessica Hynes was writing and starring in a BBC4 ever since Nietzsche died. Her explanation of comedy about the women’s suffrage movement. Nietzsche as, “a bit like shock-headed Peter, but a bit It’s worth taking note that this is for BBC4, crosser” is priceless. Add to that her full explanation that’s not a typo. You know what that means, and of electricity, light bulbs and Madame Bovary and you don’t need me to spell it out. Suffice to say, it’s she’s a shining light in feminism just waiting to be different from BBC3. switched on. The rest of the company are equally Up The Women is a period sitcom, setting the tone well crafted, and waiting in the wing to bloom, but nicely with a mostly female ensemble, the trigger for this is clearly a bit of a passion of Hynes’. It’s rather the introduction of the topic of the Women’s Suffrage glorious to see it shine through. Movement being when Mrs Margaret Unwin (Hynes) Up The Women, BBC4, Thursday 30 May 2013 travels to London for her annual pilgrimage to her mother-in-law only to get caught up in a rally at Hyde Park. A clever and educated woman, but Follow me: latestvicky nervous with it, Margaret returns empassioned to

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tuesday 28 The Apprentice BBC1, 9pm Can you hear the theme tune now... bom de bom debom de bom de – with its very own ‘Peter And The Wolf’ P45-weilding connotations. Ace. This week the crews are off to Dubai, but they haven’t time to grab a tan, they’ve got a mission: to find and secure items for an almost finished hotel at the lowest price possible. Bom.

Shameless Channel 4, 10pm Wipe that tear of sadness away and replace it with a tear of laughter, as Frank returns from his spell inside to a family reception somewhat less exuberant than the surprise party he had hoped for. Not to worry though, as a few familiar faces return to Chatsworth for a final time for a good’n’proper send off.

The Truth About Magaluf: Stacey Dooley Investigates BBC3, 9pm With the number of exposés of popular yoof holiday destinations, it’s a wonder there’s anything left to uncover. Good thing our Stace digs deep then, working alongside the Spanish residents, in a bar, cleaning hotel rooms, and finally with ambulance and police crew. Grimy and scary.

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6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 7.35 Cowboy Trap 8.20 Saints And Scroungers 9.05 Watchdog 10.05 Paul Hollywood’s Bread 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm FILM: College Road Trip (2008) 1.15 My Life In Books 1.45 The Super League Show 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 Springwatch In The Afternoon 3.45 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 4.15 Planet Earth 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 The Chef’s Protege Three of the UK’s most renowned chefs look for a young student to take under their wing. 7.00 Locomotion: Dan Snow’s History Of Railways The driving force behind the industrial revolution and the pivotal technology for modern Britain, and a connected world. 8.00 Springwatch 2013 The UK’s best live wildlife stories with Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games. What is happening to one of the UK’s most iconic birds – the kestrel? 9.00 TOWN With Nicholas Crane An attractive market town within easy commuting distance of London, Saffron Walden has some of the best preserved medieval architecture in the country. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Meet the candidate who flew to Dubai, only to be shown the boardroom door in London. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 The Tudors Historical drama series about the royal house of Tudor. 12.15am The Tudors 1.15 Sign Zone: The Apprentice 2.15 James May’s Man Lab 4.00 Rock Pool Survivors 4.30 Beneath The Lab Coat 4.45 Ask Lara: Having Words 5.00 Spark

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 According To Jim 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Undercover Boss Canada 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.40 1001 Things You Should Know 1.10 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 1.15 FILM: The Rare Breed (1966) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Will’s plan suffers a setback when loyal Doug refuses to believe Leanne is guilty. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live From The Clinic Enlightening medical show with Dr Christian Jessen and Dr Dawn Harper offering on-air appointments via webcam. The doctors take an OCD test. 9.00 Edward VIII: The Lion King Documentary that casts a new light on controversial monarch Edward VIII, showing newly released home movies that highlight his conservation work in East Africa. Widely seen as the playboy prince who refused to conform to establishment rules, the films reveal the untold story of his safaris in Africa with the real-life cast of Out of Africa and his role in changing the future of the continent’s wildlife. 10.00 Shameless See highlights. 11.05 Skint Observational documentary series about British people who survive without working. 12.05am Random Acts 12.10 Pokerstars.co.uk EPT Barcelona 1.10 KOTV Boxing 1.35 Sailing: America’s Cup Discovered 2.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 2.30 British Rallycross 2.55 Xtreme Storm 3.25 Inside Nature’s Giants 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s telvision 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Castle Farm 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Da Vinci Code: The True Story 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 WW1 Top Gun: Revealed 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Final Verdict (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Sid blames himself for Dex’s seizure, but the damage has been done and Dex decides to quit nursing. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the final day’s play as England take on New Zealand in the Second Test at Headingley. 8.00 World War 1’s Tunnels Of Death: The Big Dig Two-part documentary series. At Messines in Belgium, an archaeological dig has uncovered some of the best preserved World War I trenches. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series. When the sister of a famous Cuban singer is killed, the team suspect that the death may be linked to a feud between two Cuban families. 10.00 Body Of Proof US crime drama. After a terrorist infects himself with a deadly virus, Megan and her team must find the culprit before he spreads the contagion throughout Philadelphia. 10.50 FILM: Desperado (1995) Starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida. Violent, action-packed tale of a stranger who arrives in a Mexican border town seeking revenge against the local crime boss. 12.50am SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters (x2) 4.45 Great Scientists 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football: Championship 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 6.00pm Sporting Greats: Sir Donald Bradman 6.30 Champions League Weekly 7.00 Revista De La Liga 8.00 Test Cricket 9.00 The Verdict: England v New Zealand 9.30 Football Gold 9.45 Football Gold 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Test Cricket 12.00am The Verdict: England v New Zealand 12.30 Football Gold 12.45 Football Gold 1.00 Football Asia 1.30 Live NBA 4.00 Test Cricket 5.00 The Verdict: England v New Zealand 5.30 Football Asia

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. 7.30 EastEnders Realising Lauren’s drinking is out of control, Tanya is on a mission to stop her from getting her hands on any alcohol. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Malick is caught trying to cover his tracks and his career hangs in the balance. Sacha takes desperate action to try to save his daughter but will Chrissie forgive him? Jonny and Jac struggle with impending parenthood and what it means for their relationship. 9.00 The Apprentice See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Wright Way Sitcom. Tensions run high for the Big Ballroom Night and, while investigating the size of takeaway coffee cups, Gerald and his health and safety team uncover a startling conspiracy. 11.05 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo. 11.35 FILM: Dan In Real Life (2007) Starring Emily Blunt, Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche. Darkly comic drama about a journalist who dishes out advice to newspaper readers. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 News

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Kerry interrupts Andy and Amy kissing with a shock revelation. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent Ant & Dec present the second live semi-final of Britain’s Got Talent. Nine acts, with their eye on the ultimate prize of £250,000 and a slot on the Royal Variety Performance, perform. It is then up the viewers at home to choose which acts have what it takes to make it to the final. 9.00 Coronation Street Sally decides to try online dating. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results The result of the public vote is in and it is decision time for tonight’s nine Britain’s Got Talent semi-finalists. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Words Of Everest Dramatised documentary marking the the 60th anniversary of the first successful ascent of Everest. After the United Kingdom lost the race to both the North and South Poles, Mount Everest was seen as the Earth’s greatest remaining geographical challenge. 11.35 French Open Tennis 2013 Highlights John Inverdale presents highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 The Verdict: England v New Zealand 8.30 Inside Sailing 9.00 PGA Tour Golf 10.00 European Tour Golf 12.00pm Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 1.30 PGA Tour Classic 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 Football: Championship 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Golf: Challenge Series 6.30 Golfing World 7.00 TBA 9.00 DTM Motor Racing 10.00 Football Gold 10.15 Football Gold 10.30 Poker 11.30 Golf: Challenge Series 12.00am Australian Ironman 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Sporting Greats 2.30 Super League Backchat 3.00 Poker 4.00 Super League Backchat 4.30 Sporting Greats 5.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am PGA Tour Golf 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Elite League Speedway 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Football: Championship 1.30 Inside Sailing 2.00 Thrillseekers 2.30 Aerobics 3.00 Elite League Speedway 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 V8 Supercars 8.00 V8 Supercars 9.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 10.00 Super League Backchat 10.30 Golfing World 11.00 V8 Supercars 1.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 V8 Supercars 4.00 V8 Supercars 5.00 Sports Unlimited Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

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Film4

11.00am The Middle (x2) 12.00pm Raising Hope (x2) 1.00 Modern Family (x2) 2.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Touch 9.00 Cop Squad 10.00 FILM: The Fly II (1989) 12.05am Revolution 1.05 Road Wars (x2) 3.00 UK Border Force

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 The Truth About Magaluf: Stacey Dooley Investigates. See highlights. 10.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sweat The Small Stuff 1.00 New Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 The Golden Age Of Steam Railways 9.00 The Joy Of (Train) Sets 10.00 I, Claudius 10.55 Glamour’s Golden Age 11.55 Legends: Roy Orbison - The ‘Big O’ In Britain 12.55am Parks And Recreation 1.15 Parks And Recreation 1.35 Arne Dahl

4.10pm Real Housewives Of Atlanta 5.00 Britain’s Got Talent 6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Peter Andre: My Life 9.00 Guinness World Records: Bonkingly Big Hits 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.45 Plebs (x2) 12.50am Britain’s Got More Talent

10.00am On The Buses 10.25 Murder, She Wrote 11.30 Kavanagh QC 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Royal 3.10 Pie In The Sky 4.20 Duty Free 4.55 On The Buses 5.25 Man About The House 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Father & Son 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am Pie In The Sky

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 New Girl 9.30 The Mindy Project 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.15 Rude Tube: Viral Ads 12.20am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.25am FILM: The Third Man (1949) 1.30pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Double Your House For Half The Money 10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.05 Nashville 12.05am Come Dine With Me

11.00am Mr Hobbs Takes A Vacation (1962) 1.20pm Death Drums Along The River (1963) 3.00 The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 4.50 Broken Lance (1954) 6.45 A Good Year (2006) 9.00 Green Zone (2010) 11.10 The Girl Next Door (2004) 1.20am Let The Right One In (2008) 3.45 Close

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wednesday 29 NCIS Channel Five, 9pm It’s another guest star, and who doesn’t appreciate a feisty Jamie Lee Curtis exchanging flirty barns with Jethro? She’s part of PsyOps (nothing to do with the Judge Dredd version of that division) and is on hand to help solve the case of mysteriously leaking information. Maybe they need a plug before it sinks them all.

Confessions Of A Male Stripper: First Cut Channel 4, 11pm You’ve seen Magic Mike, this First Cut documentary lifts the lid on the daily lives of a group of British male strippers working for The Dreamboys. Run by former stripper David Richards (sure he’s nothing like Matthew McConaughey), he claims to know exactly what women want.

FILM: The Italian Job Film4, 7pm You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! And zip about doing breath-taking stunts in minis. And be quite droll as Noel Coward and sweet as Benny Hill. In fact, there are loads of things you’re supposed to do in this classic 1969 crime caper starring Michael Caine, nipping across Europe after a bundle of loot.

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6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 7.30 Cowboy Trap 8.15 Saints And Scroungers 9.00 The Great British Sewing Bee 10.00 Deadly 60 10.30 Great British Railway Journeys 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Hands On Nature 11.40 FILM: The Amazing Mr Blunden (1972) 1.15pm My Life In Books 1.45 The Weakest Link 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 Springwatch In The Afternoon 3.45 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 4.15 Life In Cold Blood 5.15 Flog It!

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 7.30 EastEnders As the pressure begins to mount for Kirsty, she finds a way to get herself out of a tricky situation but will Max realise what she is up to? 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Steve-O continues to terrorise the students at Waterloo Road. Connor faces Steve-O’s wrath as he defaults on a loan payment and Dynasty pays the ultimate price with a shock decision. 9.00 Frankie Drama series. As the circumstances of Liana Corden’s death emerge, Frankie’s judgment is questioned and she finds her job is on the line. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz, with team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 11.05 Room 101 Fast-moving game show meets talk show sees Frank Skinner refereeing three celebrities. 11.35 FILM: Away From Her (2006) Starring Julie Christie, Gordon Pinsent, Olympia Dukakis. Emotional drama. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 The Chef’s Protege Three of the UK’s most renowned chefs look for a young student to take under their wing. 7.00 Coast A look around the coast of the British Isles. 7.30 Springwatch 2013 The best stories and live UK wildlife action from Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games. The network of remote cameras across the nature reserve in midWales brings the latest news from the bird families. 8.30 Springwatch Unsprung Springwatch Unsprung dishes up some in-depth post-show analysis, with a special guest who is trying to unravel the love triangle between two magpies and a jackdaw. Plus nature quizzes, audience focused discussion and debate about the series so far. 9.00 The Iraq War The full story. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 The Tudors Historical drama series about the royal house of Tudor. 12.10am The Tudors 1.05 Sign Zone: Fit To Rule: How Royal Illness Changed History 4.00 Beneath The Lab Coat 5.00 3, 2, 1, Go!

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Kerry goes to great lengths to keep up her lie. Nicola secretly accepts Steve’s offer. 7.30 International Football: England V Republic Of Ireland Adrian Chiles is joined by Lee Dixon, Roy Keane and Gareth Southgate as England face the Republic of Ireland in this friendly international at Wembley. It is the first time the two countries have met at Wembley since 1991 when they fought out a 1-1 draw. As well as playing for pride, both countries know the importance of finding good form ahead of critical World Cup qualifiers to be played later this year. Commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.10 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.45 International Football Highlights Matt Smith presents highlights of the friendly international between England and the Republic of Ireland from Wembley. England boss Roy Hodgson knows he faces a stern test from Giovanni Trapattoni’s side. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 11.35 French Open Tennis 2013 Highlights John Inverdale presents highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Double Exposure 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 According To Jim 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Undercover Boss Canada 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.40 1001 Things You Should Know 1.10 SuperScrimpers 1.25 FILM: Gideon Of Scotland Yard (1959) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tensions run high at Texas’ funeral. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Location, Location, Location Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer present the property series offering advice on buying a new home. Kirstie and Phil catch up with two couples who wanted to live by the sea. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients and staff at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital. After a head-on collision with a car, motorcyclist and single father-oftwo Gary is a code red trauma. 10.00 10 O’Clock Live Live comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne. Each week the hosts present an alternative take on the world of current affairs, via a mix of debates, interviews, topical comedy, investigations and opinion pieces. 10.55 Random Acts 11.00 Confessions Of A Male Stripper: First Cut See highlights. 12.05am MUSIC ON 4: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 12.20 One Born Every Minute USA 1.15 Revenge 2.05 FILM: Quills (2000) 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems

6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Little Princess 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Castle Farm 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Emergency Bikers 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Frontline Police 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.15 FILM: The Elizabeth Smart Story (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away John feels at a total loss without Gina and struggles with the prospect of raising Jett alone. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 7.00 Frontline Police Documentary series with Rav Wilding. Rav attends a drugs raid on a house. Reports of a lady exposing herself quickly become serious when her partner becomes aggressive. 8.00 Emergency Bikers Documentary series following the biker paramedics of Cornwall and Portsmouth and the cops of Essex and North Yorkshire. In this episode, an injured cyclist needs help fast. 9.00 NCIS See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Resident Evil: Extinction (2007) Starring Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Oded Fehr, Iain Glen, Ashanti, Christopher Egan, Spencer Locke and Matthew Marsden. The second sequel in the sci-fi franchise. Alice teams up with other survivors of the Raccoon City catastrophe to take down the evil Umbrella Corporation for good, fighting zombies and other terrifying creatures created by the Corporation along the way. 11.55 Campus PD Documentary. 12.20am 2013 National Heads Up Poker Championships 1.15 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters (x2) 4.45 Great Artists 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Test Cricket 11.30 The Verdict: England v New Zealand 12.00pm Super League Backchat 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Champions League Weekly 2.30 Super League Backchat 3.00 Test Cricket 4.00 The Verdict: England v New Zealand 4.30 LIVE YB40 Cricket 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 NFL: Inside The Vikings 12.00am Futbol Mundial 12.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 1.00 Sporting Heroes 2.00 NFL: Inside The Vikings 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 4.00 Sporting Heroes 5.00 NFL: Inside The Vikings

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 The Verdict: England v New Zealand 8.30 Golf: Challenge Series 9.00 NBA 10.00 PGA Europro Tour Golf 12.00pm NBA 1.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 2.00 PGA Europro Tour Golf 4.00 Total Rugby 4.30 Futbol Mundial 5.00 NFL: Inside The Vikings 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE Championship Rugby Union 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FEI Nations Cup Showjumping 12.00am NBA 1.00 Championship Rugby Union 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Motocross 7.00 WWE Vintage 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 V8 Supercars 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics 12.00pm Australian Ironman 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Thrillseekers 2.30 Aerobics 3.00 Australian Ironman 4.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Inside The PGA Tour 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 NBA 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Australian Ironman 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Inside The PGA Tour 12.00am PGA Europro Tour Golf 2.00 Australian Ironman 4.00 Trans World Sport Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

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11.00am The Middle (x2) 12.00pm Raising Hope (x2) 1.00 Modern Family (x2) 2.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons(x2) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 Glee 10.00 Touch 11.00 Road Wars (x3) 2.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm The Apprentice 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 FILM: The Proposal (2009) 10.45 EastEnders 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! (x2) 12.45 New Russell Howard’s Good News 1.15 Sweat The Small Stuff 1.45 People Like Us 2.45 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 3.00 The Truth About Magaluf

7.00pm News 7.30 Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 Dan Cruickshank’s Written In Stone (x2) 9.00 Mothers, Murderers And Mistresses: Empresses Of Ancient Rome 10.00 Parks And Recreation (x2) 10.45 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 11.15 The Golden Age Of Steam Railways 12.15am The Dark Ages

4.10pm Real Housewives Of Atlanta 5.00 Britain’s Got Talent 6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Guinness World Records (x2) 9.00 Benidorm (x2) 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent: Funniest Moments 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.45 Plebs (x2) 12.50am Guinness World Records

10.25am Murder, She Wrote 11.30 Kavanagh QC 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Royal 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.15 Duty Free 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 Man About The House 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Father & Son 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am Pie In The Sky 1.10 Murder, She Wrote

1.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 2.00 Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Charmed 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Zoolander (2001) 9.50 Rude Tube: Viral Ads 10.55 Made In Chelsea 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.45am FILM: Passport To Pimlico (1949) 1.30pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Secrets Of The Stonehenge Skeletons 10.00 The Sex Clinic 11.05 The Good Wife 12.05am Come Dine With Me

11.00am The Tall T (1957) 12.35pm The Halls Of Montezuma (1950) 2.50 Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 4.40 The Professionals (1966) 7.00 The Italian Job (1969). See highlights. 9.00 G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009) 11.15 Leaving Las Vegas (1995) 1.25am Hard Eight (1997) 3.35 Close

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thursday 30 Henry VII: Winter King BBC2, 9pm The Tudors are probably the best known and publicised royals prePaparazzi, and yet not much has previously been said on the very first Tudor. Henry VII. From his victory over Richard III at the Battle of Bosworth, to his secret death and succession by Henry VIII, this was a ruthless man after the throne at any cost. Cor!

Human Swarm Channel 4, 9pm Maybe less of a ‘swarm’ and more of a ‘herd’, Jimmy Doherty (apparent farmer turned anthropologist) looks at how we leave data streams in our wake, and move more like members of a herd than clear individuals. He also sees how our movements can be manipulated, given access to all of our live data. Hm.

Up The Women BBC4, 8.30pm New sitcom set in 1910 centred around the rise of the suffragette movement, but in suburbia, starring Rebecca Front and Jessica Hynes. Good to see Ms Front continuing with her political success of The Thick Of It. Young Margaret has discovered this marvellous movement and is set to tell all of the local craft circle.

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Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 Perfection 3.45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Things are getting too much for Lauren and she admits the truth to Abi. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Watchdog Consumer series. The team investigate ‘blacklisting’ by banks – and the effects on former customers who can no longer open accounts. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young, Matthew Amroliwala and Martin Bayfield are joined by detectives from across the UK, appealing for help with some of the UK’s biggest unsolved cases. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update The latest developments on the cases featured in the main programme. 10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby presents Question Time from London, where the panel includes the writer Lord Fellowes of West Stafford. 11.45 FILM: The Quiet American (2002) Starring Michael Caine, Brendan Fraser, Do Thi Hai Yen. Saigon, 1952 – Vietnam. A jaded English journalist finds himself embroiled in the politics of war through a troubled love triangle. 1.15am Holiday Weatherview 1.20 BBC News

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 7.35 Cowboy Trap 8.20 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 9.05 Great Continental Railway Journeys 10.05 Country Show Cook Off 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm The Crimson Wing 1.15 My Life In Books 1.45 The Weakest Link 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 Springwatch In The Afternoon 3.45 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 4.15 Life In Cold Blood 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 The Chef’s Protege Three of the UK’s most renowned chefs look for a young student to take under their wing. 7.00 Locomotion: Dan Snow’s History Of Railways From their beginnings as a primitive system of track-ways for coal carts in the early 18th century, railways quickly developed into the driving force behind the industrial revolution. 8.00 Springwatch 2013 Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games report live on the latest news and unfolding drama on the nest cameras. Expert naturalist Iolo Williams is on the road, tracking down one of the UK’s rarest birds of prey. 9.00 Henry VII: Winter King See highlights. 10.00 Watson & Oliver Sketch show from the minds of Lorna Watson and Ingrid Oliver. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.20 The Tudors Historical drama series about the royal house of Tudor. 12.15am The Tudors 1.05 The Review Show 2.05 Sign Zone: The Spies Who Fooled The World 3.50 L8R Youngers 3 4.25 Ask Lara (x3) 5.00 Your Paintings (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Sporting Greats 2.30 Boots ‘n’ All 3.30 Sporting Heroes 4.30 LIVE YB40 Cricket 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Ringside 11.30 Super League Superstars 12.00am Sporting Heroes 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 LIVE NBA 4.00 Ringside 5.00 Sporting Heroes

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Adam tries to prove that Cain will cheat on Moira. Kerry is rejected by Andy but Dan offers her a lifeline. Rhona’s drug addiction worsens. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent Ant & Dec present the third live semi-final of Britain’s Got Talent. Nine acts, with their eye on the ultimate prize of £250,000 and a slot on the Royal Variety Performance, perform in front of a live studio audience and judges Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. 9.00 Coronation Street A heavy-hearted Carla gives Rob one last chance. Tina tells Izzy and Gary to sort things out. Michelle is concerned about Ryan’s priorities. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results The result of the public vote is in and it is decision time for tonight’s nine Britain’s Got Talent semi-finalists. Only two acts will make it through to the final – the one with the most public votes, and one chosen by the judges from the two runners-up. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 French Open Tennis 2013 Highlights John Inverdale presents highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Monk 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Dodger is on the warpath. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Britain’s Stone Age Tsunami Documentary. Tony Robinson reveals astonishing new evidence that shows how, 8,000 years ago, a huge tsunami swamped the east coast of Britain. The new research also explains the tsunami’s cause, and transforms our understanding of the people whose lives it devastated. Like recent tsunamis in the Indian Ocean and Japan, Britain’s tsunami was a phenomenally destructive force, with waves as high as 10 metres in many places. 9.00 Human Swarm See highlights. 10.00 999: What’s Your Emergency? Documentary series showing how Britain is changing through the eyes of the emergency services. This episode focuses on mental health. 11.05 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients and staff at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital. 12.05am Random Acts 12.10 Clare Balding’s Secrets Of A Suffragette 1.10 The Murder Workers 2.40 Unreported World 3.05 Come Dine With Me 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Countdown 5.40 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Make Way For Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 World War 1’s Tunnels Of Death: The Big Dig 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Motor Morphers 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 CSI: NY 3.10 FILM: A Trick Of The Mind (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Still trying to come to terms with losing Romeo, Indi’s nerves are at snapping point. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 7.00 Die Hard: The True Story Meet the hackers and FBI investigators who inspired the fourth Die Hard film. Will this style of cyberattack threaten our safety in the future? 8.00 World’s Craziest Police Pursuits 6 A cop’s-eye view of the madness and mayhem caused by bad motorists. In Belgium, a police helicopter is peppered with bullets while on the trail of dangerous gangsters. 9.00 FILM: Bad Boys (1995) Starring Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Tea Leoni, Tcheky Karyo, Theresa Randle and Marg Helgenberger. Action thriller about two wisecracking cops forced to swap identities in order to track down $100 million of heroin stolen from the police. Their only lead is a young woman who can identify the culprits, but when they track her down she mistakes one of the cops for his partner, forcing the pair into a bizarre and chaotic life swap. 11.30 World’s Scariest Near Misses A documentary featuring startling footage of near misses. 12.00am Milkshake! Monkey 12.15 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters (x2) 4.45 Great Artists 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Championship Rugby Union 11.00 NFL: Inside The Vikings 12.00pm Sporting Heroes 12.55 LIVE Cricket - ICC Champions Trophy 9.00 Ringside 10.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 1.30 IAAF Athletix Magazine 2.00 Super League Superstars 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.00 IAAF Athletix Magazine 4.30 FEI Nations Cup Showjumping 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 FEI Nations Cup Showjumping 8.00 Sporting Heroes 9.00 Australian Ironman 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Thrillseekers 2.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 WWE Vintage 6.00 Ringside 7.00 Super League Superstars 7.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.30 European Tour Golf 1.30am PGA Tour Golf 5.30 Super League Superstars

Victoria Nangle

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BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

12.00pm Raising Hope (x2) 1.00 Modern Family (x2) 2.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 9.00 Eddie Izzard’s Mandela Marathons 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 11.00 NCIS: LA 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Traffic Cops 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 New Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am New Russell Howard’s Good News 1.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 1.30 Pramface (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1978 8.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 8.30 Up The Women. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Miss Potter (2006) 10.30 Mothers, Murderers And Mistresses11.30 The Golden Age Of Steam Railways 12.30am Norman Wisdom: His Story

4.10pm Real Housewives Of Atlanta 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Britain’s Got More Talent: Funniest Moments 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 FILM: Evan Almighty (2007) 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.45 Guinness World Records 12.45am Britain’s Got More Talent

10.25am Murder, She Wrote 11.30 Kavanagh QC 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.15 Duty Free 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 Man About The House 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Father & Son 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am Pie In The Sky 1.05 Murder, She Wrote

4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 The New Normal 9.30 2 Broke Girls 10.00 What Happens In Kavos 11.05 Fresh Meat 12.00am Big Bang Theory

11.45am FILM: The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) 1.30pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Nashville 11.00 Embarrassing Bodies 12.00am Come Dine With Me 1.05 Grand Designs

11.00am Bamako (2006) 1.20pm Springfield Rifle (1952) 3.10 Carry On Nurse (1959) 4.55 40 Guns To Apache Pass (1967) 6.50 Crocodile Dundee II (1988) 9.00 Forrest Gump (1994) 11.40 Final Destination 3 (2006) 1.25am Mona Lisa (1986) 3.40 Close

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friday 31 Sarah Millican: Thoroughly Modern Millican Channel 4, 9pm For a Friday night out without leaving the comfort of your own sofa, tuck in to this awardwinning show from Sarah Millican. Having sold out on two separate visits to the Brighton Dome, here’s your chance to see it with no queues, your own toilet breaks and optional slippers.

Not Going Out BBC1, 9.30pm So, no more Tim but still plenty of scrapes for Lee to get into in this latest series from Lee Mack. Good news and bad news tonight; Lee’s got a long weekend on his dad’s new boat organised with Lucy. Yay! Bit of a thing here, Lucy’s terrified of the water. Oh dear. Cue much swaying and general tomfoolery.

Sherlock BBC3, 9pm Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, like the true essences of a celebrity genius, is utterly engaging, totally compelling and intolerable if you’d have to spend more than 10 minutes alone in his company. Good fun. Tonight it’s a case involving a blood-soaked car, a priceless Master and a clue in an empty room. Clever.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 Perfection 3.45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Lauren’s recent behaviour has huge consequences when she finds herself on the wrong side of the law but can Max and Tanya put their differences aside for the sake of their children? 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz. 8.30 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon is back in the host’s chair, David Mitchell is joined by Susan Calman and Richard Osman, and Lee Mack is joined by Carol Kirkwood and David O’Doherty. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz returns, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, a guest host and guest panellists Matt Forde and Miles Jupp. 9.30 Not Going Out See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton’s familiar chat show. 11.25 The Wright Way Sitcom. Tensions run high for the Big Ballroom Night. 11.55 FILM: Cursed (2005) Starring Christina Ricci, Jesse Eisenberg, Joshua Jackson. Fantasy horror from the writer of the Scream series. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 News

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 7.30 Cowboy Trap 8.15 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 9.00 Antiques Roadshow 10.00 Question Time 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm FILM: Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron (2002) 1.15 My Life In Books 1.45 The Weakest Link 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 Springwatch In The Afternoon 3.45 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 4.15 Life In Cold Blood 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 The Chef’s Protege Three of the UK’s most renowned chefs look for a young student to take under their wing. 7.00 Locomotion: Dan Snow’s History Of Railways The pivotal technology for modern Britain, and a connected world. 8.00 Nature’s Microworlds Series in which Steve Backshall looks at some of the world’s most iconic ecosystems. He takes us to a place few have ever visited – the deep sea. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. Monty Don reveals plans for a new raised seating area, surrounded by wild flowers. Carol looks at the blossom at Battsford Arboretum in the Cotswolds. 9.00 Time Traveller’s Guide Historical series. 10.00 QI Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.05 Later... With Jools Holland Jools Holland’s iconic music programme, featuring live sessions from contemporary and classic artists. 12.10am FILM: Lymelife (2008) 1.40 Sign Zone: Question Time

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 According To Jim 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Undercover Boss Canada 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.40 1001 Things You Should Know 1.10 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.35 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Will anybody find Jason before it’s too late? Dodger reaches an all-time low, Sienna’s schemes start to fall apart, and Jim is stunned to learn a dark secret. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World Documentary series. Reporter Seyi Rhodes and producer Suemay Oram travel to Rio de Janeiro to report on the huge growth in cosmetic plastic surgery. 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Come Dine With Me Cookery-based reality show. This episode comes from Cumbria, where proud nanny Nina Raistrick starts the week with the novel approach of serving a menu of deliberately unexciting-sounding dishes. 9.00 Sarah Millican: Thoroughly Modern Millican See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts the comedy chat show. Alan is joined by Bafta winner Clare Balding, X Factor USA judge Demi Lovato and music is from Mark Owen. 11.05 10 O’Clock Live Live comedy and current affairs show. Repeat. 12.05am Random Acts 12.10 FILM: Million Dollar Baby (2004) 2.25 New Girl 2.50 The Mindy Project 3.10 Happy Endings 3.35 The New Normal 3.55 Accidentally On Purpose 4.15 Come Dine With Me 5.10 Countdown 5.55

6.00am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 World’s Craziest Weddings 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Cowboy Builders 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Lethal Obsession (2007) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE ODI Cricket 7.00pm NBA Action 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Lions Tour Preview 2013 11.00 ODI Cricket 1.00am Super League 3.00 ODI Cricket 5.00 Lions Tour Preview 2013

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Tension between Adam and Cain reaches boiling point. Vanessa encourages Rhona to come clean about her addiction. Robbie’s lies begin to unravel. 7.30 Britain’s Got Talent Ant & Dec present the fourth live semi-final of Britain’s Got Talent. Nine acts, with their eye on the ultimate prize of £250,000 and a slot on the Royal Variety Performance, perform in front of a live studio audience and judges Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. 9.00 Coronation Street Rob and Tracy are forced to face the music. Will Tommy admit his true feelings? Karl struggles to keep up his act. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results The result of the public vote is in and it is decision time for tonight’s nine Britain’s Got Talent semi-finalists. Only two acts will make it through to the final – the one with the most public votes, and one chosen by the judges from the two runners-up. There is also a special guest performance live on stage. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 French Open Tennis 2013 Highlights John Inverdale presents highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Short Fuse 4.15 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 Home And Away John needs to resubmit an application to adopt Jett, but is scared of losing him and cannot bring himself to tell Jett what is happening. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the day’s play at Lord’s as England take on New Zealand in the first of three NatWest One Day Internationals. 8.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers Transporting a huge replica plane causes a few headaches, while elsewhere heartstrings are tugged when a depot closes to relocate. 9.00 FILM: Death Race (2008) Starring Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Ian McShane, Tyrese Gibson, Natalie Martinez. Futuristic thriller. In a grim near future, weighed down by economic chaos and high unemployment, criminals on death row race armoured cars for the entertainment of the public. The death rate is high, but the winner can earn his freedom. One such con is persuaded to race in the masked guise of a popular champion. 11.10 All-New Scariest Animal Attacks Documentary taking viewers into the jaws of the most terrifying animal encounters ever captured on camera. 12.10am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 The Great Artists 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 NBA 10.00 Live European Tour Golf 12.00pm NBA 1.00 Ringside 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 IAAF Athletix Magazine 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 Ringside 6.00 NBA 7.00 Lions Tour Preview 2013 8.00 ODI Cricket 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Lions Tour Preview 2013 2.00 NBA Action 2.30 IRB Sevens Rugby 3.00 Lions Tour Preview 2013 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Ringside 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 IAAF Athletix Magazine 8.30 LIVE Super Rugby Union 10.30 LIVE Super Rugby Union 12.30pm IAAF Athletix Magazine 1.00 Racemax 2.00 Thrillseekers 2.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 WWE: Raw 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.30 European Tour Golf 1.30am PGA Tour Golf 5.30 Thrillseekers

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm Modern Family (x2) 2.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG1(x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama 8.00 The Middle 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Revolution 10.00 Kick Ass Kung Fu 11.00 Spartacus: Blood And Sand 12.15am Chris Ryan’s Strike Back

7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin 8.30 World’s Craziest Fools 9.00 Sherlock. See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.30 New Russell Howard’s Good News 2.00 World’s Craziest Fools 2.30 People Like Us

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Concerto At The BBC Proms 8.00 Symphony 9.00 Otis Redding: Soul Ambassador 10.00 Stax Volt Tour Of Norway 1967 11.00 Classic Soul At The BBC 12.00am Otis Redding: Soul Ambassador 1.00 Stax Volt Tour Of Norway 1967 2.00 Classic Soul At The BBC

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Atlanta 5.00 Britain’s Got Talent 6.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results 7.00 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! 7.45 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.00 Celebrity Juice (x2) 12.30am Britain’s Got More Talent

10.25am Murder, She Wrote 11.30 Kavanagh QC 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Royal 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.15 Duty Free 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 Man About The House 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am FILM: In The Name Of The Father (1993)

2.00pm Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Charmed 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 FILM: Daredevil (2002) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am Phoneshop

11.40am FILM: The Ladykillers (1955) 1.30pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Escapist (2008) 11.00 Father Ted (x2) 12.05am Come Dine With Me (x2) 2.15 Grand Designs 3.25 A Place In The Sun

11.00am Broken Lance (1954) 12.55pm Tobruk (1966) 3.05 Dark Command (1940) 4.55 The Seventh Voyage Of Sinbad (1958) 6.40 Cutthroat Island (1995) 9.00 The Wolfman (2010) 11.00 MacGruber (2010) 12.45am The Crying Game (1992) 3.15 Close

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saturday 1 The Voice UK BBC1, 8.30pm It’s the first knockout round! Just when the contestants had thought they’d finished with their tears and could claim a bit of swagger four poor dears are heading back to the curb. And as a further twist none will know who they’ll be battling against until the moment they are chosen to take to the stage. Cutting.

The Americans ITV1, 10pm Hoping to follow in C4’s successful ‘Homeland’ stead, ITV1 has invested in a successful and clever US drama series of its own. Not to mention cashing in on the current wave of national security paranoia. Set in the 1980s, this Cold War drama tells of two deep cover Soviet spies living in the capitol. Rather good.

FILM: Cocktail E4, 9pm Not going out this Saturday night? Then stay in and enjoy a tipple with Tom Cruise as your tender bartender. Actually, he’s quite materialistic, but then it is 1988. He’s also quite flashy and clever with the bottles, especially when paired with Bryan Brown. What could go wrong? A lady, that’s what. Who’da thunk it?

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Bargain Hunt 1.00 MotoGP: Mugello Qualifying 2.00 Homes Under The Hammer 3.00 Escape To The Country 4.00 Total Wipeout 5.00 Deadly Bloopers 5.30 A Question Of Sport

6.40am FILM: Curtain Call (1940) 7.40 FILM: Footlight Fever (1941) 8.50 FILM: Sing And Like It (1934) 10.00 A History Of Scotland 11.00 Map Man 11.30 Just A Minute 12.00pm The Chef’s Protege 12.30 The Chef’s Protege 1.00 The Chef’s Protege 1.30 The Chef’s Protege 2.00 The Chef’s Protege 2.30 EastEnders 4.20 Auction Hero 5.20 Coast

6.00am Special Agent Oso 6.10 Special Agent Oso 6.25 The Hive 6.35 The Hive 6.40 Dino Dan 6.55 Dino Dan 7.05 Canimals 7.15 Canimals 7.20 Almost Naked Animals 7.35 Ultimate Spider-Man 8.00 Jessie 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Dinner Date 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.20 My Tasty Travels With Lynda Bellingham 11.20 ITV News & Weather 11.30 Saturday Farm 12.30pm Murder, She Wrote 1.30 River Monsters 2.35 All Star Family Fortunes 3.20 The Chase 4.20 FILM: The Borrowers (1997) 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents more funny footage filmed by viewers. 7.00 Britain’s Got Talent Ant and Dec present the last of this year’s five semi-final shows as nine more acts pull out all the stops for a make-orbreak performance. 8.30 Les Dawson: An Audience With That Never Was 10 June 2013 marks the twentieth anniversary of the death of one of Britain’s finest comedians, Les Dawson. At the time he was just two weeks away from making a television special – he had been invited to be the star of London Weekend Television’s popular An Audience With..., but the programme was never made. Now with the aid of new multimedia holographic technology, Les Dawson will appear back on stage in front of a celebrity audience. 9.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results The result of the public vote is in and it is decision time for tonight’s final nine semi-finalists. 10.00 The Americans See highlights. 11.20 ITV News; Weather 11.40 French Open Tennis Highlights Highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 The Starter Wife 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 British GT 7.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.30 FIM World Superbikes 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 The Morning Line 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.25 The Big Bang Theory 12.00pm The Simpsons 12.30 The Simpsons 1.00 Channel 4 Racing: The Derby 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.05 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality show. 6.35 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality show. 7.05 Channel 4 News 7.30 Grand Designs Property series with Kevin McCloud. Larger-than-life actor Sean Simons fell in love with the ruins of Cloontykilla Castle in southern Ireland when he played there as a boy, and bought it years later with the intention of turning it into a spectacular, theatrical mock 16th century home. After borrowing over one million Euros to finance the renovation, Sean launches into his project just as Ireland plunges into recession. 8.30 FILM: Transformers (2007) Starring Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Megan Fox, Bernie Mac, John Turturro. Live-action sci-fi. Planet Earth is visited by two warring alien robot races – one a force for good, one for evil – who are both desperate to find an ancient relic hidden somewhere on the planet which guarantees its possessor infinite power. 11.15 Jimmy Carr: Making People Laugh Award-winning comedian Jimmy Carr plays a packed house at the SECC in Glasgow. 12.15am Channel 4 Racing: The Derby 12.40 FILM: Perrier’s Bounty (2009) 2.15 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Countdown

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 10.05 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.40 Thundercats 11.05 Highland Emergency 11.35 World War 1’s Tunnels Of Death: The Big Dig 12.40pm Emergency Bikers 1.40 CSI: Miami 2.30 CSI: Miami 3.30 CSI: NY 4.25 CSI: NY 5.25 FILM: The Vikings (1958)

6.00am Ringside 7.00 ODI Cricket 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 NBA Action 11.00 Lions Tour Preview 2013 12.00pm LIVE Rugby Union 3.00 Sporting Heroes 4.00 Ringside 5.00 Sporting Greats 5.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Ladies Euro Tour Golf 1.00 Football Gold 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 Live NBA 4.00 Spanish Football 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

6.00 Celebrity Mastermind Chef Michel Roux Jr, actress Jessica Hynes, Politics Show presenter Jon Sopel and Divine Comedy frontman Neil Hannon try their luck answering questions on Auguste Escoffier’s Guide to Modern Cooking, Pam Ayres, Tony Blair and the sitcom Frasier. 6.30 BBC News 6.40 South East Today 6.50 Pointless Celebrities Alexander Armstrong and co-host Richard Osman present a special celebrity edition of the quiz. Featuring Debra Stephenson and Tricia Penrose, Alex James and Phil Daniels, the Cheeky Girls, and Kirsten O’Brien and Toby Anstis. 7.35 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show. Numbers are drawn too. 8.30 The Voice UK See highlights. 9.40 Casualty When Tess witnesses a stabbing she becomes personally involved with the victim and the attacker. Charlie helps a couple whose relationship is feeling the effects of the wife’s long-term illness. 10.30 BBC News 10.50 Beyonce And Friends Live At Twickenham Bit of a boogie and a singalong in your living room. 11.50 Beyoncé: Life Is But A Dream – An Imagine... Special The much-heralded Beyoncé: Life Is But a Dream. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 News

6.05 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques by taking a risk at auction. 7.05 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Captain Mainwaring is given a staff car which breaks down when Pike and his girlfriend borrow it to go to the pictures. 7.35 A Tudor Feast A Tudor Feast. 8.35 Henry VIII: Patron Or Plunderer? King Henry VIII had a fascinating and enlightening relationship with art. He came to the throne as the Renaissance swept across Europe, yet England’s new king never lost sight of the medieval chivalry of his forefathers. 9.35 FILM: The Other Boleyn Girl (2008) Starring Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana, Jim Sturgess. A passionate story of love, rivalry and a family torn apart by ambition, based on Philippa Gregory’s novel. Against the epic backdrop of a defining period in English history, this is an intimate study of a relationship between a man and two sisters. The man is Henry VIII, King of England, and the two sisters Mary and Anne Boleyn. 11.25 The Tudors Anne revives Henry’s passion for her, but as one rival for his heart departs another appears. 12.20am The Tudors 1.10 FILM: Borderline Murder (2011)

7.25 5 News Weekend 7.30 NCIS Crime drama series. Gibbs is forced to revisit his past when his former mother-in-law turns out to be a witness in a murder investigation. 8.30 NCIS Crime drama series. The agents are surprised when an MIA marine is found with a gunshot wound – six years after he disappeared in Afghanistan. 9.20 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series about an elite sex crime unit based in New York. The team investigate the case of two young girls killed in a fire. 10.15 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series about an elite sex crime unit based in New York. Stabler and Benson have to pose as a married couple to investigate a rape that seems to be connected to an illegal adoption operation. 11.10 Neighbours: This Week Highlights programme featuring the past week’s episodes of the Aussie soap. 12.10am SuperCasino 3.55 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.20 Five VOD Make It Big 4.45 Roary The Racing Car 4.55 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 IRB Sevens Rugby 7.30 Lions Tour Preview 2013 8.30 LIVE Super Rugby Union 10.25 LIVE Cricket - ICC Champions Trophy 6.30pm NBA Action 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 TBA 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 Rugby Union 3.30 TBA 5.30 Sporting Greats

Sky Sports 3 6.00am NBA Action 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Max Power 9.00 WWE: Smackdown 11.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 Football Gold 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 LIVE YB40 Cricket 7.30 NBA Action 8.00 TBA 10.00 WWE: Late Night Superstars 11.00 WWE NXT 12.00am WWE: Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 Max Power 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 Rugby Union

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm Kingdom Of Plants With David Attenborough (x3) 4.00 When Robbie Met James (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 8.00 An Idiot Abroad 9.00 Eddie Izzard’s Mandela Marathons 10.00 FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001) 12.05am Revolution

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.15 Merlin 8.00 England’s Worst Ever Football Team 9.00 Russell Howard: Right Here Right Now 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 American Dad! (x2) 12.15am The Voice UK 1.25 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra

7.00pm Oceans: Sea Of Cortez 8.00 British Masters 9.00 Arne Dahl 10.30 Disco At The BBC 11.30 The Joy Of Disco 12.30am British Masters 1.30 The Joy Of (Train) Sets 2.30 Oceans: Sea Of Cortez

1.00pm You’ve Been Framed! (x5) 3.45 Britain’s Got Talent 5.20 Britain’s Got Talent Results 5.50 FILM: The Scorpion King (2002) 7.40 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.45 FILM: Unbreakable (2000) 1.50am Britain’s Got More Talent 2.40 Teleshopping

6.25am Kavanagh QC (x2) 9.40 The Royal (x2) 11.40 Pie In The Sky 12.50pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.50 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Murder With Mirrors (1985) 3.50 Jane Austen’s Emma 6.00 Lewis 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Blue Murder 11.35 Taggart 12.35am Cracker 1.45 On The Buses

2.00pm Made In Chelsea 3.00 Rules Of Engagement (x5) 5.25 The Mindy Project 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Happy Endings 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 FILM: Cocktail (1988). See highlights. 11.05 The Inbetweeners(x2) 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

4.45pm Kate And William: Romance And Royals 5.45 The Queen’s Mother-in-Law 6.55 The Queen’s Wedding 8.00 The Queen’s Coronation: Behind Palace Doors 9.00 Queen Victoria’s Last Love 10.00 The Real King’s Speech 11.05 Edward VIII’s Murderous Mistress 12.10am Queen Victoria’s Last Love

11.00am New In Town (2009) 1.00pm Honey, I Blew Up The Kid (1992) 2.45 August Rush (2007) 4.55 The Devil Wears Prada (2006) 7.05 Drillbit Taylor (2008) 9.00 Shooter (2007) 11.25 The Hills Have Eyes (2006) 1.30am Beast Stalker (2008) 3.50 Close

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sunday 2 Once Upon A Time Channel Five, 8pm And people say you learn nothing but romanticisms from fairy tales. Regina learned ruthlessness from her mother’s example and gives the old matriarch a shove through the looking glass. Cue altered universe in Wonderland, where Hook meets the Queen of Hearts. Plus Emma and Snow pull out all the stops to get home.

Blackadder II BBC2, 10pm Queenie, she’s a one. Changeable as the wind, and just as likely to be found on a cliff’s edge. At least she’s got Edmund Blackadder as one of her favourites, right? That is until she changes her mind about beheading some poor chap that Edmund has expedited the execution of to save time. Oops.

New Girl E4, 6.20pm You know what really bonds flatmates together? Buying a new bathtub! Not that it might, you know, put the landlord’s back up in any way, but we’ll just call that a cultural difference and put it down to different tenancy agreements in the US and go with it. Anyway, this is what Jess and Winston decide to do. Easy!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.20pm Countryfile 1.15 Bargain Hunt 2.00 Homes Under The Hammer 3.00 Points Of View 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.15 Songs Of Praise 4.55 The Queen: A Passion For Horses 5.55 BBC News

6.10 South East Today 6.15 Countryfile 7.15 The Voice UK Holly Willoughby and Reggie Yates present the second of the knockout rounds. The coaches must reduce their teams of seven down to the top three, who will then progress to the live shows. Sir Tom, will.i.am, Jessie and Danny pit their seven remaining artists against each other for one final battle in the knockouts to compete for the final three places on their respective teams.Watch those bottom lips wobble and knees shake. 8.30 Case Histories Detective drama. Jackson helps a teenage boy who has grown up in the shadow of his murdered mother to understand how she really died. Meanwhile, he wrestles with his own dilemmas as a past case threatens his future and relationships. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 The Matt Lucas Awards Matt chats to various guests with his own twist on the interview format. 10.55 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo. 11.40 The Sky At Night Lucie Green and Chris Lintott discuss the lives of stars and what happens to them when they die. 12.00am FILM: Honeymooner (2010) 1.30 Weatherview 1.35 News

BBC2

7.00am FILM: Melody Cruise (1933) 8.15 Gardeners’ World 8.45 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 9.30 Beechgrove Garden 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Chinese Food Made Easy 12.00pm What To Eat Now: Summer 12.30 MotoGP 2.00 Triathlon: World Series 5.00 Dambusters Declassified

6.00 The Dambusters: 70 Years On Dan Snow presents a tribute to the daring Dambusters raid from RAF Scrampton. 7.00 Peter Jones Meets He’s a sociable chap, is Peter Jones! 8.00 Ice Age Giants Professor Alice Roberts journeys 40,000 years back in time on the trail of the great beasts of the ice age. Drawing on the latest scientific detective work and a dash of graphic wizardry, Alice brings the ice age giants back to life. 9.00 Australia With Simon Reeve Simon travels down the east coast of Australia to the magnificent cities of Sydney and Melbourne. The final part of his journey begins in Surfer’s Paradise, near the city of Gold Coast. Known as the Las Vegas of Australia, the area has also become the organised crime capital of the country. Then, in the East Coast suburbs, Simon joins a vet and his team who rescue and treat injured koalas. 10.00 Blackadder II See highlights. 10.30 FILM: The Road (2009) Starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi SmitMcPhee, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce. In a post-apolcalyptic world, a father and his son fight for survival, battling against cold, hunger and gangs of cannibals. 12.10am The Tudors 1.05 The Tudors 1.55 Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.50 Holby City

ITV1

6.00am Special Agent Oso 6.10 Special Agent Oso 6.25 The Hive 6.35 The Hive 6.40 Dino Dan 6.55 Dino Dan 7.05 Canimals 7.15 Canimals 7.20 Almost Naked Animals 7.30 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 8.00 Sonny With A Chance 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Country House Sunday 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.20 News 11.25 Columbo Goes To The Guillotine 1.25pm Love Your Garden 2.25 FILM: Evil Under The Sun (1982) 4.35 All Star Family Fortunes 5.20 News 5.30 Coronation Year In Colour 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.45 Catchphrase Stephen Mulhern invites contestants Marian, Paul and Lucy to say what they see as the current series of the much-loved game show concludes. 7.30 International Football: Brazil V England Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage of this muchanticipated international between Brazil and England at the Maracana stadium in Rio de Janeiro. The iconic Maracana has undergone an extensive renovation ahead of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, but remains one of the most famous venues in world football. England have still to secure their place in next year’s finals, but are taking the opportunity to sample the conditions and atmosphere in the host nation. With expert opinion from Roy Keane and Gareth Southgate, and commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.25 ITV News; Weather 10.40 International Football: Highlights Highlights of the international friendly between England and Brazil. 11.25 French Open Tennis Highlights John Inverdale presents highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.30am The Store 2.30 Monk 3.15 Motorsport UK 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freesports On 4 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.40pm The Big Bang Theory 1.10 The Big Bang Theory 1.40 The Simpsons 2.10 The Simpsons 2.40 FILM: Brewster’s Millions (1985) 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.50 FILM: Ice Age (2002) 7.25 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Spying On Hitler’s Army: The Secret Recordings Powerful docudrama telling the story of one of World War II’s last secrets: an audacious British intelligence operation to listen in on the private conversations of 10,000 German prisoners of war. The prisoners’ unguarded reminiscences and unintentional confessions have only just come to light, but prove just how closely the German army were involved in the atrocities of the Holocaust. In this programme, they are dramatised – word for word – from the original transcripts. 9.00 FILM: Nine (2009) Starring Daniel Day Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Sophia Loren, Kate Hudson and Stacy Ferguson. Stylish musical drama about an Italian film director facing a midlife crisis as he attempts to complete his next film and juggle the many women in his life. 11.15 FILM: Dreamgirls (2006) Starring Jamie Foxx, Beyoncé Knowles, Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover, Jennifer Hudson. Rags-toriches musical set in 1960s Chicago. 1.35am FILM: I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009) 3.20 St Elsewhere 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.50 SuperScrimpers

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 10.05 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.40 Thundercats 11.05 Inside Hollywood 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm World’s Craziest Police Pursuits 6 1.15 FILM: Scooby-Doo (2002) 2.55 FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 4.45 FILM: Stargate (1994) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket On 5 8.00 Once Upon A Time See highlights. 9.00 FILM: The Switch (2010) Starring Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, Jeff Goldblum, Juliette Lewis. Romantic comedy. A successful television producer decides to have a baby via artificial insemination and chooses a handsome and charming donor to be the baby’s father. Work takes her away from town, but seven years later she returns and begins a romance with her son’s father, unaware that her best friend had switched the chosen donor’s sperm sample with one of his own... 11.05 FILM: Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) Starring Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner. Send-up of 1960s spy films and culture, the first of several featuring the eponymous, cryogenically preserved secret agent revived in the 1990s. 1.00am SuperCasino 3.50 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.20 Five VOD Make It Big 4.45 Roary The Racing Car 4.55 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

Sky Sports 1 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Rugby Union 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 Cricket Writers On TV 10.30 LIVE ODI Cricket 7.00pm LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 International Football 11.00 ODI Cricket 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 International Football 3.30 ODI Cricket 5.30 Super Rugby Try Time

Sky Sports 2 6.00am FEI Nations Cup Showjumping 7.00 Sporting Heroes 8.00 Rugby Union 9.00 TBA 11.00 NBA Action 11.30 Rugby Union 12.30pm Live European Tour Golf 4.30 Football’s Greatest 5.00 Live International Football 7.30 Football’s Greatest 8.00 ODI Cricket 10.00 Super League Full Time 11.00 Super Rugby Try Time 11.30 Premier League Years 1.30am The Premiership Years 3.30 Spanish Football 5.00 International Football

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Football’s Greatest 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE Vintage 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 NBA 11.00 Spanish Football 12.30pm Football’s Greatest 1.00 TBA 3.00 Rugby Union 4.00 NBA 5.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Golf 1.00 FEI Nations Cup Showjumping 2.00 Super League Full Time 3.00 Super Rugby Try Time 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Super League Full Time 5.30 Football’s Greatest

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm Inside Gatwick 2.00 Kingdom Of Plants With David Attenborough (x3) 5.00 A League Of Their Own 5.30 Modern Family 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Futurama (x2) 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Glee 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Caribbean Cops (x2) 1.00am Next Door Nightmares

7.00pm England’s Worst Ever Football Team 8.00 Great TV Mistakes 8.30 FILM: The Proposal (2009) 10.15 Family Guy (x2) 11.00 American Dad! (x2) 11.45 Sweat The Small Stuff: Extra Sweaty 12.30am The Voice UK 1.40 People Like Us 2.40 Sweat The Small Stuff: Extra Sweaty 3.25 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm The Dark Ages: An Age Of Light 8.00 Crossing England In A Punt: River Of Dreams 9.00 Royal Journey: The Princess Elizabeth In Canada 9.55 Sounds Of The Seventies Solos 10.00 Anita O’Day: The Life Of A Jazz Singer 11.30 Classic Soul At The BBC 12.30am Otis Redding: Soul Ambassador

12.00pm FILM: The Little Vampire (2000) 2.00 FILM: Evan Almighty (2007) 4.00 Britain’s Got Talent 5.30 Britain’s Got Talent Results 6.00 FILM: A Cinderella Story (2004) 8.00 FILM: Rumor Has It (2005) 10.00 The Only Way Is Marbs 10.50 Big Rich Texas 11.50 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

6.00am On The Buses 6.25 Kavanagh QC 7.50 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Murder With Mirrors (1985) 9.50 Heartbeat (x2) 11.50 FILM: Summer Holiday (1963) 2.00pm Tom Brown’s Schooldays 4.00 Lewis 5.55 Rosemary And Thyme (x2) 8.00 Vera 10.00 Prime Suspect 12.15am Wycliffe 1.20 Kavanagh QC

1.30pm Glee 2.30 Charmed 3.30 How I Met Your Mother (x3) 4.55 Revenge 5.50 The Mindy Project 6.20 New Girl. See highlights. 6.50 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 8.15 FILM: Zoolander (2001) 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.05 Rude Tube: Animal Madness 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

2.10pm The Queen’s Mother-in-Law 3.15 The Real King’s Speech 4.20 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Ireland (x5) 7.00 Nashville 7.55 The Restoration Man 9.00 The Queen’s Coronation: Behind Palace Doors 10.00 Father Ted (x2) 11.05 Derek 11.40 Embarrassing Bodies 12.45am Restoration Man

11.00am Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 1.00pm Bandslam (2009) 3.10 Valiant (2005) 4.40 The Poseidon Adventure (1972) 6.55 Edward Scissorhands (1990) 9.00 The Tourist (2010) 11.05 Good Luck Chuck (2007) 1.05am The Class (2008) 3.50 Close

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Jonesy chats with Phillip Gandey, creative director of The lady Boys Of Bangkok

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037_LS630_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 24/05/2013 16:45 Page 1

monday 3 The Secret Lives Of The Boston Bombers: Channel 4 Dispatches Channel 4, 8pm Filmmaker Matt Frei sifts through the lives of brothers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the men suspected of being behind the bombs that killed three people at the Boston Marathon, to try and find out what could have possibly led up to such a tragedy.

The Job Lot ITV1, 9.30pm Everyone’s favourite time – it’s staff appraisals! Good old Trish and all of her helpful feedback. Danielle is feeling the pressure, Angela’s in a remarkably good mood, and Karl’s buoyant mood quickly deflates when he discovers his new girlfriend signs on at their job centre, where fraternising is against the rules.

Made In Chelsea E4, 10pm So, Lucy had her pubwarming party and stuff happened. Yes, it did! In the aftermath Jamie and Proudlock (Really? Really!) are worried about Spencer. Is his well-framed forehead framing a little too much for their liking? And Alex and Jamie decide to come clean and lay all of their cards on the table. Big table.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 Perfection 3.45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. 7.30 Fake Food: Fake Britain Special Probably not the wax stuff Grandma told you to leave alone. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Ian is put under pressure to get the restaurant finished before the local paper arrives. 8.30 Cancer: Hope For Sale? – Panorama Documentary. 9.00 The People’s Coronation With David Dimbleby To mark the sixtieth anniversary of the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II, David Dimbleby tells the story of a ceremony which for centuries had been the preserve of the privileged. But in 1953, after initial resistance, the coronation would, for the first time, be televised and witnessed by millions. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the news quiz, with captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, a host and panellists Matt Forde and Miles Jupp. 11.20 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. 12.05am FILM: The Night Listener (2006) 1.20 Weatherview 1.25 News

BBC2

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Don’t Get Done In The Sun 7.35 Cowboy Trap 8.20 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 9.05 Coast 10.05 Country Show Cook Off 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Animal Park 1.45 The Weakest Link 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 Springwatch In The Afternoon 3.45 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 4.15 Life In Cold Blood 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz show. 6.30 The Chef’s Protege Three of the UK’s most renowned chefs look for a young student to take under their wing. 7.00 Henry VIII: Patron Or Plunderer? In the 1530s, King Henry VIII was at a crossroads. In his desperation for a new wife and an heir, he had broken with Rome, divorced Catherine of Aragon and married Anne Boleyn. Talk about a strop! 8.00 Springwatch 2013 The best of the UK’s wildlife, live. Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan report from mid-Wales on the latest news from the bird families. 9.00 The Fall Crime drama series set in Northern Ireland. When Eastwood’s investigation into Olson’s murder throws open some uncomfortable truths for Burns, Gibson comes under increased pressure in her hunt for Belfast’s killer. 10.00 What A Load Of Buzzcocks Anarchic musical fun. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Tudors The year is 1536. Wedded to Jane Seymour, Henry hopes for stability and a son. 12.10am The Tudors 1.00 Sign Zone: Keeping Britain Alive: The NHS In A Day 4.00 One Hundred Years Of The Women’s Movement 4.30 The Imagineers 5.00 Ecomaths: Primary

ITV1

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rhona sinks low to feed her addiction. Robbie is unaware that Debbie is on to him. 7.30 Coronation Street Aadi and Asha help Dev to realise the truth. Determined Rob refuses to roll over. 8.00 The Dales Adrian Edmondson is in Swaledale for the 100th anniversary of the Reeth Agricultural Show. He meets the Owen family who are hoping 11-year-old Raven performs well in her first riding competition. 8.30 Coronation Street Karl implodes as Dev continues to disturb the peace. 9.00 Vicious Sitcom following the lives of an elderly gay couple. In the penultimate episode, Ash and his new girlfriend Chloe are invited round for dinner by Freddie and Stuart. Freddie is feeling low as his infrequent acting jobs appear to be drying up, but Ash is on the crest of a wave, having fallen in love with the perfect woman - or is she? 9.30 The Job Lot See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 French Open Tennis Highlights John Inverdale presents highlights of the best of the day’s action from Roland Garros. 12.05am Monk 12.50 Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 Will And Grace 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Undercover Boss Canada 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.40 SuperScrimpers 12.50 FILM: The Prince And The Pauper (1977) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks How far will Sienna go to teach Nancy a lesson? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 The Secret Lives Of The Boston Bombers: Channel 4 Dispatches See highlights. 8.30 Food Unwrapped Jimmy Doherty, Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt lift the lid on what is really in our favourite supermarket products. 9.00 Skint Observational documentary series about British people who survive without working. The final episode of the series follows the impact that addiction can have on family life. 10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon heads to Scottsdale, Arizona, where he visits Amy’s Baking Company and meets a husband-and-wife bistro owners who reveal that they would rather throw unhappy diners out of the door than listen to their complaints. 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts the comedy chat show. Alan is joined by Bafta winner Clare Balding, X Factor USA judge Demi Lovato and music is from Mark Owen. 12.10am Shameless 1.10 The Fear 2.05 My Kidney And Me 2.30 Gok’s Style Secrets 3.25 The Renovation Game 4.20 Come Dine With Me 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Milkshake! Monkey 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Mio Mao 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Cowboy Builders 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.20 FILM: Murder On The 13th Floor (2012) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away John learns that adopting Jett alone is going to be difficult, but is unwilling to settle for simply being a foster parent. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked entertainment show. 8.00 Platoon: The True Story Director Oliver Stone and actor Willem Dafoe reveal the truth behind their award-winning Vietnam War movie. 9.00 Why Did Oscar Pistorius Kill Our Daughter? Documentary. Barry and June Steenkamp, the parents of Pistorius’s girlfriend Reeva who died in a fatal shooting on Valentine’s Day 2013, speak exclusively in their only TV interview. 10.00 Pistorius Trial: The Key Questions Documentary. Oscar Pistorius awaits trial, accused of the murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, which he claims was an accident. Two of South Africa’s most eminent lawyers weigh the evidence with the aid of a purpose-built replica of the Blade Runner’s bedroom and bathroom. 11.00 FILM: AVP: Alien Vs Predator (2004) Starring Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Lance Henriksen. Sci-fi horror. 12.45am Campus PD 1.15 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 The Great Artists 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Spanish Football 10.25 LIVE Cricket – ICC Champions Trophy 6.30pm Great Goals 7.00 Football Gold 7.15 Football Gold 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Golden Moments Of European Football 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00am Super League 1.30 Live NBA 4.00 Super League 5.30 Great Goals

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30pm Golf 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Super Rugby Try Time 4.30 LIVE YB40 Cricket 10.00 Super Rugby Try Time 10.30 Elite League Speedway 12.30am PGA Tour Golf 1.30 European Tour Golf 3.00 PGA Tour Classic 4.00 Super Rugby Try Time 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Super Rugby Try Time

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Super League Full Time 7.00 ODI Cricket 9.00 Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Rugby Union 1.00 International Football 2.00 Thrillseekers 2.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 3.00 Super League 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Great Run Series 7.30 LIVE: Live Elite League Speedway 9.30 Great Run Series 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 Great Run Series 5.00 PGA Tour Golf

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

9.00am Lie To Me (x4) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 A League Of Their Own 5.30 The Middle (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 10.00 Revolution 11.00 Spartacus: Blood And Sand 12.15am Dog The Bounty Hunter

7.00pm Beyonce And Friends Live At Twickenham 8.00 Traffic Cops 9.00 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.00 The Hoff’s Best Action Film Ever! 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad!(x2) 12.30am The Hoff’s Best Action Film Ever! 1.00 Pramface (x2) 2.00 Live At The Apollo (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The Wild Wood 8.00 Britain On Film 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Mechanical Marvels: Clockwork Dreams 10.00 Buck: The Real Horse Whisperer 11.25 Rome: A History Of The Eternal City 12.25am The King & The Playwright: A Jacobean History 1.25 Britain On Film

1.00pm Coronation Street 1.30 Judge Judy 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Atlanta 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 9.00 FILM: The BreakUp (2006) 11.10 Celebrity Juice (x2) 12.40am The Only Way Is Marbs

12.00pm The Father Dowling Mysteries 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.10 Duty Free 4.45 On The Buses 5.15 Man About The House 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.50 Inspector Morse 10.00 Trial And Retribution 11.05 Law & Order: UK 12.05am Murder In Suburbia

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 New Girl 8.30 The Mindy Project 9.00 Revenge 10.00 Made In Chelsea. See highlights. 11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.45am The New Normal 1.15 Revenge

11.45am FILM: Passport To Pimlico (1949) 1.30pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Simon Hopkinson Cooks 10.00 12 Year Old Lifer 11.15 Embarrassing Bodies 12.20am Come Dine With Me 1.25 12 Year Old Lifer

11.00am Death Drums Along The River (1963) 12.40pm The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 2.30 40 Guns To Apache Pass (1967) 4.25 They Who Dare (1953) 6.35 The Iron Lady Special 6.40 A Good Year (2006) 9.00 G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009) 11.15 Buffalo ‘66 (1998) 1.25am Heartbeats (2010)

THE LATEST FESTIVAL AWARDS

16 awards celebrating the best of Brighton Festival, Brighton Fringe, £5 Fringe & the Artists Open Houses. With entertinment from Britain’s Got Talent star Lynn Ruth Miller Monday 3 June, Latest Musicbar, Manchester St, Brighton, doors: 7pm, show: 7.30pm

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