Latest 7: No. 707 by Latest Homes

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★ ALBION ★ NEWS ★ FOOD & DRINK ★ ENTERTAINMENT ★ TV GUIDE ★ 2 – 8 December 2014

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ART ATTACK! Startlingly beautiful artworks at Brighton’s most exciting independent gallery ink_d page 13

WIN SIMON EVANS LIVE AT THEATRE ROYAL DVDS, PLUS NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC COMPILATIONS

FOREVER YOUNG YHA Brighton weekend treats SPENCERS TASTY Delicious food and a treasure trove emporium

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EDITOR’S NOTE

xtraordinary art provides nutritious food for thought. To quote a pertinent passage on the subject I read recently: “Good art requires dedication. It involves constantly challenging yourself and throwing huge chunks of time into perfecting your craft. The best art requires the most extreme focus; other things often become pretty inconsequential. “You can be a good person, or you can be a good artist. This isn’t to suggest that it is entirely black and white, in or out; there are all sorts of positions in between. There is much fulfillment to be found in connection with other human beings. But arguably the best art and the highest level of achieving goals comes when you are the absent friend who doesn’t return texts and the emotionally unavailable romantic partner. How will you choose?” And more importantly, do you have to?

There are busy, sociable, creative types the city over who might have a few things to say about the ‘elusive artist’ stereotype, but there’s no doubt that great art requires dedication, and this should, of course, be acknowledged. Whether a purveyor of the paintbrush yourself or an enthusiastic fan of the arts from afar, artistic inspiration can be found all over. ink_d Gallery in Brighton are hosting a Christmas Group Show with beautiful art of all sizes, styles and prices available to purchase. We’re waxing lyrical on page 13, and we’re feeling inspired. Guess whose families are getting homemade prezzies this year? Louise Bevan, Editor To read more thoughts about art and the work/life balance, visit selfdefensemusic.com Email your comments to editorial@thelatest.co.uk or visit us online at thelatest.co.uk

13 Wednesday 3 December 2014 Martin Harley + Sam Lewis Martin Harley is a phenomenally talented guitarist, singer and songwriter fronting this highly praised UK-based acoustic trio Doors 8pm, £10

LATEST 7/HOMES

Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Latest Homes Commercial Manager Patrick Kneath

Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Advertising Manager Rachel Simm Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Jason Weaver Kyle Moon

Editor Louise Bevan Sub Editor Laura Gooch Staff writers Jo Brooks Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller

04 Bare Cheek Brian and Joseph explore the weird and wonderful lexicon of yesteryear 05 Latest People French classes with the Consul Honoraire; Rockinghorse charity fundraiser 06 Latest News Headlines with Frank le Duc, Tim Ridgway, and B&H City Council leader Jason Kitcat 08 Reviews What’s happening, and what we think of it! 09 Latest Sport Jules Breach on the Sussex Sport Awards 10 Brighton Lights Lynn Ruth Miller, Richard and Guy are looking to the future, and celebrating the past 13 ink_d Gallery Fine artistic talent showcased at the hip Brighton venue 15 YHA Brighton Fancy a weekend away? Hostels can be more boutique than you think ... 16 Kay Town Andrew indulges in a sensible breakfast 16 Competitions Win NOW CDs and Simon Evans DVDs 17 Chic Boutique The only way is up for Spencers in Kemp Town 18 Hotlist Restaurants, cafes and takeaway listings 19 Cook It! The man behind the original Hove Kitchen returns – with Avenue 20 Entertainment News What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music in your city 24 Brighton Writes Dr Caroline Oprandi has the latest science bites from Portslade Aldridge Community Academy; The Bored Gamers are running in circles 25 TV Listings Seven days of TV listings

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Sunday 7 December 2014 Greymatter + Amity All-girl British pop rock band fronted by Georgey Payne (The L Project) and Emma Kavanagh, playing since 2004 Doors 7.30pm, £7.50 LATEST GROUP

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BARE CHEEK Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

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WHAT WE USED TO SAY An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the once common, simple words or phrases that have been replaced by unwieldy verbosity.

WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Extreme Poverty Situation” This is one of those terms coined by people who want to persuade us they’ve identified something new. “...And inevitably, at this time of year, our thoughts turn to those living in an extreme poverty

BRIGHTON BUS NAMES EXPLAINED We explain the connections to Brighton of those names emblazoned on the front of local buses...

guy was pictured, in airbrushed form, on the fairground waltzer that graced the Level between 1990 and 2008, when he was inexplicably replaced with Holly Willoughby.

Mata Hari (No. 19) – The noted femme fatale and spy once used the cipher “PORTSLADE” as a code when communicating with fellow secret agents.

Freddie Flintoff (No. 202) – The briefly-flavour-of-the-month cricketer was considered for an abortive “Come to Brighton” advertising campaign the local council was thinking of employing in 2007.

Skeletor (No. 16B) – The “Masters of the Universe” bad

situation and we cannot help but emit a sly chuckle of satisfaction as we, in the warmth and comfort of our homes, ram yet another mince pie down our self-satisfied maws.”

In&Out

– H.M. Queen Elizabeth II, Christmas Day broadcast 2014.

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WHAT WE USED TO SAY: Dire want, need, poverty, penury, deprivation, privation, hardship, destitution

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Special ‘Early Years of Live Comedy Videos’ Edition

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this week> Wed 3 Martin Harley + Sam Lewis 8pm, £10 Café Bar Action for Happiness 7.30pm, Free Thurs 4 Wellsbourne Society A quarterly event dedicated to the landscape, streets, myths, & spirit of Brighton 8pm, £6 Sun 7 Greymatter + Amity 7.30pm, £7.50 Mon 8 Cabaret Bar Hatful of Rain + Kitty Perrin 8pm, £8/£6 adv

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PEOPLE

French classes with the Consul Honoraire; Rockinghorse dress-down fundraiser’s third year

CONSUL HONORAIRE VISITS SUSSEX DOWNS COLLEGE Monsieur Francois Jean, the Consul Honoraire of Brighton and Port Manager of Newhaven, visited Sussex Downs College on Tuesday 25 November to meet with the Café French Conversation class. The class posed questions to the Consul Honoraire to develop their French-speaking skills. The informal conversation, held over coffee and cake, included plans for Newhaven port, UK’s ‘little Paris’, the Embassy and French restaurants, and ten students from French classes at the College took part. The class enables mature students to learn a new skill in an informal setting; in the words of one, it’s his reason for getting out of bed on a Tuesday morning! www.sussexdowns.ac.uk

DRESS AS AN ELF ON THE TWELFTH ... IS BACK! Dress As An Elf On The Twelfth is back for a third year, and Rockinghorse Children’s Charity is looking for schools and businesses to get involved in the dress down day. The idea is to donate £1 to wear red and green on Friday 12 December 2014, and help make life better for sick children in Sussex this Christmas. Rockinghorse is the official fundraising arm of the Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital (the Alex) in Brighton, raising money for life-saving and cutting-edge medical equipment. All funds raised from the Dress As An Elf On The Twelfth dressdown day will go towards the charity’s

Christmas Toy Box Appeal, to provide specially created toy boxes for long-term patients staying at the Alex. Join in the festive spirit by getting your nursery, school, college, community group or business involved in the Dress As An Elf On The Twelfth fundraiser and you really could make a difference to children in hospital this Christmas. Whether you wear red socks, a green jumper or dress up in full elf attire, get involved on Friday 12 December and donate £1 to Rockinghorse Children’s Charity.

To sign up or find out more, call the Rockinghorse team on 01273 330044, email elf@rockinghorse.org.uk or visit www.rockinghorse.org.uk/get-involved for your Dress As An Elf On The Twelfth fundraising pack.

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Brighton and Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat Government spending on local services has more than halved since 2009, according to the Financial Times. Councils have been worst hit of all by government cuts, seeing their funding slashed by 55% in the past five years. Other councils aren’t coping as well as we have to date; many across the country have long closed essential services such as libraries and children’s centres. Some are rumoured to be on the brink of financial collapse, squeezed between the coalition’s axe and growing demand for services. So far in Brighton and Hove we’ve absorbed the reductions in funding with minor increases in council tax, and through finding new sources of income for frontline services and making genuine efficiencies like halving the number of buildings we use, and reducing the costs of senior management. We’ve managed to bring in over £64m to the city from outside funding pots – a third of that for transport schemes – and have greened council buildings to cut energy bills. However this coming year will be different. The government cuts are the biggest yet, and the city faces with some awful decisions about what local services can afford to run in the future. A council tax rise is one of the very few ways in which we will be able to protect services now and into the future. Under our proposals for a referendum on a 5.9% council tax increase, the majority of the city’s households would pay an additional £1.32 a week or less to safeguard services they value, and protect the city’s most vulnerable from the worst of the government’s cuts. We utterly disagree with the Conservative-Labour-Lib Dem consensus that Brighton and Hove residents’ services should be cut to pay for the bankers’ economic crash. We call on the other parties to let residents decide on giving our services the lifeline they desperately need.

LATEST BRIGHTON & HOVE NEWS FRANK LE DUC THE VOTE

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Four more years of cuts to come will mean extra challenges for the team looking after children in care in Brighton and Hove ard choices lie ahead for those charged with caring for children in Brighton and Hove and keeping them safe. The death of Baby P in London and the Rotherham child sexual exploitation scandal are just two of the high-profile cases where things went badly wrong. Four more years of public spending cuts will pile the pressure on the professionals but council bosses are expected to balance their budgets while fully meeting their duty of care. Pinaki Ghoshal is the executive director of children’s services at Brighton and Hove City Council. He has been in post almost a year and a half. Among his responsibilities are about 470 children in care. Most are placed with foster parents. Hundreds more are monitored due to concerns about their welfare. Mr Ghoshal has overseen the creation of the Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub – the MASH – where social workers share office space with police. The aim is to encourage joint working, better information sharing and a more co-ordinated approach to child protection. After the initial investment in the physical infrastructure, the MASH should generate savings. It is a good example of the approach being encouraged by the council’s “stop, start, change” consultation. He said that it showed how the tough financial climate didn’t just mean services would have to stop. The MASH represented a change. He said: “It’s a change in the way we spend our money. It’s a change in the way we do things. “Rather than us spending an

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Pinaki Ghoshal

inordinate amount of time chasing people and data around an individual case, everyone’s in the same place. The MASH is a shared front door.” He said that it

We can do things better and it doesn’t necessarily involve spending more money would ultimately bring together police, health and probation staff with the social workers who work in his department. He added that doing something more cheaply did not have to mean that it was done less well. In broad terms Mr Ghoshal is expected to save between £4 million and £6 million a year every

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year for the next four years. Excluding money for schools, which is ringfenced, he has an annual budget of between £50 million and £60 million. Hence the need for hard choices. A child with complex needs can easily cost the council a six-figure sum over a year. Some foster placements, particularly those made through specialist agencies, can be eye-wateringly expensive. But it is probably impossible to avoid the need for agencies. Some have trimmed their fees in response to the financial pressures facing the council. But a drive by the council to cut costs by recruiting more foster parents directly has not achieved the desired result. The number of referrals to social services has risen markedly since the death of Peter Connelly – known as Baby P. The figure has recently begun to plateau. Of more concern is that the proportion of children referred to social workers is higher in Brighton and Hove than comparable areas. The reasons are hard to pinpoint although more parents here have drink, drugs and mental health problems. These don’t help. Mr Ghoshal’s team has also focused on prevention. Not only is prevention better than cure, it’s cheaper. The council was the top performer in the South East in a recent assessment of the Troubled Families initiative. Locally it is known as the Stronger Families, Stronger Communities programme. Specialist staff give intensive help and coaching to struggling families. The council is financially rewarded for “turning around” these families. The measures include tackling truancy, encouraging parents and carers off benefits and into work and reducing reports of anti-social behaviour or crime. Again, success is proving worthwhile financially as well as on a human level. He said: “There are some families still in chaotic circumstances. You make improvements in some areas but they still need help.” Mr Ghoshal doesn’t expect a run of easy wins as reduced budgets are debated over the coming months and years. He said: “We spend quite a lot of money. It’s not always spent in the best way. We can do things better and it doesn’t necessarily involve spending more money.”

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TIM RIDGWAY LATEST NEWS

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This week’s headlines from across the city Crowhurst Hall

RATES RISE It’s that time of year again. No, not THAT time of the year. But the time when councils unveil their spending plans for the coming 12 months. No surprise in Brighton and Hove as the Green administration wants to increase council tax by nearly 6%. Council officers have recommended targeting council tax benefit claimants in a bid to plug a £26 million budgetary black hole. With the Conservative group once again advocating a freeze, Labour – the council’s third party – will hold the decisive vote come budget-setting time in February. ON THE UP A rare day off meant I was able to head into Worthing last week. And I was delighted to say that there’s something very exciting happening out west. For those of you sneering and thinking the town is still God’s waiting room – I assure you, it’s not. It has become a thriving cosmopolitan area - with a range of quality, well-priced restaurants, a great relaxed vibe and with affordable parking. My top tip is the Connaught cinema, where you catch a film for two for about a tenner – a total bargain. TRAIN PAIN Good luck to anyone wanting to get anywhere on the Brighton to London mainline over the next three years. Refurbishment work at London Bridge over the next three years is

set to affect tens of thousands of train journeys. Work is due to start from December 20. In total, there will be 16 days when all trains will not stop at London Bridge while engineers work to open two new platforms and modernise 1970s track and signalling equipment. So make sure you plan ahead. ’ELLO, ’ELLO, ’ELLO It’s been two years since Katy Bourne became the Police and Crime Commissioner for Sussex. For those of you unsure as to exactly what this means, that means she is the elected person responsible for overseeing our police force. In an exclusive interview with Latest TV, she spoke around the challenges the post has delivered. And also went into the what she wants to archive in the remaining two years in office. In particular, she was proud of the work she’s done in increasing young people’s trust of officers, and in tackling violence. But with the system at risk of being scrapped if Labour win the next election, is all the work she has been doing a short-term experiment? BENEFITS BLAST What would you do if you lost your job, applied for more than 1,500 positions and were still asked to report daily to your local job centre? Well that’s allegedly what happened to Peter Styles, an unemployed local copywriter, whose blog about his experiences has gone viral.

Mr Styles claims the Government’s new benefits system is keeping people out of work. But officials hit back and said they were trying hard to get him back into employment. COMMUNITY JOY 1 It was once a dilapidated and disused building. But following a community campaign, the fortunes of Crowhurst Hall in Preston village, Brighton have turned around thanks to a massive funding injection. After attending the ribbon cutting last week, Latest TV is proud to report that the building is thriving after being given a new lease of life. Following on from the campaign to restore Exeter Street Hall and with new centres in Saltdean and Coldean, it seems like community is far from dead in our city. COMMUNITY JOY 2 After years of campaigning, Brighton’s very own comfy pub is preparing to open its doors. The Bevy will become the UK’s first community-owned pub on a council estate. And having followed this journey through from inception to ribbon-cutting, I’m delighted for all the volunteers and individual shareholders who’ve worked to see the ‘open’ sign go up on the door. The launch will take place next week – meaning that thousands in Bevendean and Moulsecoomb will now have a local on their doorstep. Offering community cooking lessons, a cafe and an edible garden, this is definitely more than just a pub.

CHRISTMAS STARR It’s never too early to sign up for some Christmas spirit. And this year two celebs will be coming together to raise money for a local charity. Wish upon a Christmas Starr will see hundreds be entertained by ice skater Robin Cousins and special guest singer Bonnie Langford at the prestigious Hilton Brighton Metropole on December 7. All proceeds will go to the Starr Trust.

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under review

A LITTLE RESPECT ERASURE Brighton Centre, 23 November 2014 ★★★★★

early thirty years into a distinguished career, this synth-pop duo showed they still have the ability to get a crowd into the party spirit. Camp as ever, singer Andy Bell and the somewhat less showy ex-Depeche Mode keyboardist Vince Clarke bashed out a massively enjoyable greatest hits set, punctuated by eminently danceable clubby numbers from new LP ‘The Violet Flame’. Old favourites such as ‘Sometimes’, ‘Blue Savannah’ and the truly anthemic ‘A Little Respect’ were predictably great, though with a back catalogue as strong as Erasure’s, there was never too long a wait between irresistible pop hooks.

Nick Aldwinckle

BOOKINGS COURTNEY PINE & ZOE RAHMAN St. George's Church, 14 March 2015, £20/18, brightondome.org No musician more embodies the dramatic transformation in the British jazz scene over the past twenty plus years than Courtney Pine C.B.E. – catch this rare treat in stunning surroundings.

POLAR BEAR Komedia, 15 April 2015, £17/15, 01273 647101, komedia.co.uk Since their debut album ‘Dim Lit’ in 2004 and being nominated for the ‘Best Band’ award at the BBC Jazz Awards in 2004, Polar Bear have gone on to huge success, having been nominated for Mercury Music Prizes and gained critical acclaim.

REVIEWS MISS BEHAVE’S GAMESHOW If Tiswas was hosted by Carmen Miranda with edge, and with a cohost enjoying the joie de vivre and outrageousness of Kenny Everett with an iPod, stirred up in a Lucky Dip barrel and told it was a gameshow – it would come out something like Miss Behave’s Gameshow. With the audience as the participants, rule-makers and regular rule-breakers, this seemingly anarchic fun house is guided expertly by the glorious Miss Behave, delivering up a raucous evening of fun, frivolity and surprising creativity. A marvellous concept, ever-developing, and fun like a food fight with no conscience. Marlborough Theatre, 21 November 2014 ★★★★★ Victoria Nangle TWELFTH NIGHT – ENGLISH TOURING THEATRE I’m very fussy about favourite Shakespeare plays and judge

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productions quite harshly, but there is nothing to worry about with this lavish and welldelivered romp through crossdressing, cross-gartered, gender-bending Illyria. With just one prop, a multi-purpose wardrobe that was ship, boxtree and prison, and backed by a great perpendicular bay window, the uncluttered set allowed us to hear every word. That is the first requirement of any production. The folksy music and rose petals did little for me but the wellchoreographed ensemble and sense of fun was a delight. So too was the obvious enjoyment of the happy school parties. The cast must be gratified by those ripples of authentic young laughter from a new generation starting to love Shakespeare. Theatre Royal Brighton, 25 November 2014 ★★★★★ Andrew Connal

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STAND ON CEREMONY Jules Breach has all the behind-thescenes gossip from Latest Sport ello sports fans! Well, November has been and gone, and if you read this article every week, you'll be glad to know that I have just woken up from my first run since what feels like 1976. Legs feel a bit stiff, slight ache in the abdominal area ... but I tell you what, I do feel good for it! I know I said one run a week, so I’ve slightly failed with that one, but at least I still pushed myself to get out the door. Once. Baby steps, and all that. Plus I did LOADS of Christmas shopping last week, so that counts as exercise right? Something we are very proud of this November is that the Latest Sport boys, Jay, Joseph and Tim, accomplished their Growvember challenge, with flying colours! At the start of the month they all picked a famous sportsman out of a hat and had to grow their beards in the same design as that person's facial hair. Bearing in mind the lads are on the telly every single day, they did a pretty awesome job of not breaking or bending any of the rules whatsoever, so well done to them! Jay was Pires, Tim was Hulk Hogan, and Joseph enjoyed being wrestler Sheamus far too much for the month, but it's now time for a good old shave! The boys raised over £100 for their efforts and you

can still donate now, on the Latest Sport ‘Just Giving’ page. November was a month full of pride, and we are extremely proud to have been part of this year's Sussex Sports awards. Not only were we there filming the entire event, but we also sponsored the award for the Young Volunteer of The Year. Ashley Edwards was such a deserving winner after all the hard work over the last year, and

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countless hours working unpaid as a volunteer. We say this all the time when we recognise volunteers, but it really does hit home when you hear their individual stories just how important it is for the county to have volunteers like Ashley around, and especially at such a young age. We salute you, Ashley! Keep up all the amazing work, you are a true inspiration to many. And so are all the other award winners. I haven't got room to mention them all, but these are just some of the worthy winners of the Sussex Sports Awards this year:

Albion in the Community Primary School of the Year: Shoreham Beach Primary School Young Coach of the Year: Heather Wallace BBC Sussex Unsung Hero: Reg Hook The Grand Hotel Club of the Year: Shiverers Swimming Club Team of the Year: Bexhill Swimming Club Disability Team Juice 107.2 Young Team of the Year: Sussex Tennis U12 Girls University of Brighton Disabled Sports Personality of the Year: Jordan Okonta Outstanding Contribution to Sport Award: Alison Larkin The awards ceremony itself was rather la dee dah! Suits and ties and gorgeous dresses were seen around the room at The Grand Hotel in Brighton, and this was the awards ceremony's 12th year running – there was a brilliant turn

out. It was hosted by BBC Sussex DJ Danny Pike, who regularly hosts the event, and this year he was joined on stage by a special guest, former freestyle and butterfly swimmer Mark Foster, who provided attendees with inspirational tales of his own sporting success. The Latest Sport team also interviewed Mark, which provided the most humorous moment of the night ... he's quite a tall chap, so we had to get Mark to bend his legs in a rather awkward fashion so that he'd fit into our interview area! He took it rather well, even though he looked like he was half-straddling an invisible horse, bless him. December will be another busy month for us, so stay tuned for more fun sports stories to come from the area. ‘Til next week sports fans! Jules xx

Follow me: @julesysowa

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L7 BRIGHTON LIGHTS

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THE BORING GENERATION Lynn Ruth Miller on gaining a little perspective t seems that people born after 1980 don’t like to party. Radio 4 has labeled them ‘Generation Right’ because they are not interested in barhopping, binge-drinking and cocaine. Instead, they prefer to stay at home and knit. I can hardly blame them. I am from the ‘Silent Generation’. We endured The Depression, World War II, Korea, the atom bomb, the Cold War, and held tight to our own values and comfortable lifestyles. ‘Generation Y’ has observed the things we thought were holy and asked, ”Really? Is marriage that great? Do we need to believe in God? Is your work your whole life? Is it all about sex? What is really important?” I think that is a very good thing. The truth is that the outside world puzzled me, too. It was knitting that gave me perspective. A ball of yarn and two needles was all it took to lower my blood pressure and absorb me in something besides what everyone thought of me, and what we were having for dinner. I was ten years old. My Aunt Hazel and my mother were arguing about me. “She sits in the closet reading a book a day,” said my mother. “Her room is a mess and I cannot get her to set the table.” My aunt, who adored me because when she fed me dinner she never had leftovers, rushed to my defense. “She needs a hobby,” she told my mother. She opened the closet door and closed my book. “You have a disgusting pallor from sitting in here all day reading about other people’s lives. I am going to teach you how to live your own; I am going to teach you to knit.” “What does that have to do with life?” I asked. “Everything,” said Aunt Hazel, and took me to the yarn shop. My first project was a green scarf. Endless scarves, mittens, hats, argyle socks, suits, skirts, dresses and coats followed as the world bucked and bolted, climates changed, morals were destroyed, the definitions of male and female blurred, test tubes created babies and modified vegetables, single was not a death sentence and marriage was not forever. I believe it was the click of the needles and the transformation of yarn into garments that kept me sane through all that chaos. Generations that followed turned to medication to help them cope, but ‘Generation Y’ got smart. It has seen the world fight for women’s rights, gay rights, diversity, environmental preservation, and abolition of war and thought; ‘What a waste of energy!’ And that’s why it stays home and knits. Just like me. “Virtually everything people believe in can be exposed as possessing laughable inconsistencies. And so they laugh. And stand still.” – Scott Turow

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I am going to teach you to knit ...

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MAKE A WISH Richard Shayler: on birthday blunders and the number fifty

appy Birthday dear ... psst, psst ... what’s her name?! Kate? Abby?” The girl next to me looks at me in disgust. Oh well, I’ll just have to hum it. “Happy Birthday dear … duuuhdahh ... happy birthday to you!” Phew, don’t think anyone noticed, apart from that moody girl standing next to me. Uh-oh. Where’s she off to? Oh, dash it; she’s the birthday girl’s sister. I spent the rest of the day receiving long, condescending looks from every family member at the party. I was also given a piece of birthday cake that looked like it had been iced with spittle and tears. All for forgetting the birthday girl’s name! My parents signed the card and they also got her The Simpsons slippers, which she

“H

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hated. I was given no brief on names and had no hand in the buying of her present. I felt wrongly ostracised. I wanted to cry. But it wasn’t my party, so I couldn’t. I saved the tears for the journey home. With a mouthful of caterpillar cake and an eyeful of tears, I moaned to my family about how unfairly I was treated. They told me to grow up. They also made a very scathing observation that I was the only one at a five-year-old’s birthday party who was crying. I got home, wiped the final tears off my face and stopped feeling sorry for myself. It made me think how much more enjoyable birthdays are when you’re older. Most of the birthday recipients want little to no indication of how old they are, and even go as far as just having ‘a party’. Not ‘a birthday party’. This alleviates an awful lot of pressure to remember

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names and make present choices. Alcohol is always a great go-to present, as are items to do with alcohol. Cocktail shakers, corkscrews and quirky bottle openers are unquestionably well received. There’s always a chance the presents you buy will then get opened and shared too. I call this ‘birthday present remuneration’. The birthday recipient calls it getting blind drunk. I imagine this is what some of the Brighton Lights crew will be doing this week, for we are celebrating a very special occasion … it’s our 50th this Thursday! That’s right, we’ve been on air for fifty shows! I know! I’m as surprised as the rest of you. We’ve got a cake from the lovely gang at The Angel Food Bakery, and party poppers and bunting. We’ve also got a special show this week dedicated to the Christmas Artists Open Houses. Poet Julie Hall and comedian Zoe Lyons dropped in to give us some presents. Artist Rupert Denyer and The Brighton Dome’s Pippa Smith stopped by to talk art, and The Dome’s Umbrella Project. Comedian Sarah Bennetto made us all laugh and we were dancing around all week in our birthday suits to music by The Lanes. Watch Wednesday to Saturday at 7pm on Freeview Channel 8, Virgin Media Channel 159 or streamed live online @ www.thelatest.tv. The show’s so good even a few celebs are watching. Yeah, that girl … lives down on the seafront, you know the one? Oh ... I’ve forgotten her name!

THE WEEKENDER: PART 2 Guy Lloyd: lads, laughs and larking about, ’80s style

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GUY LLOYD

f you cast your mind back to last week’s blog, I was about to embark on an eighties weekender at Butlins in Bognor. The first thing that struck me when we drove in to Butlins was its pure Britishness. Butlin’s

to me is a reminder of the dark and depressing times of the eighties; when people were either too poor or too scared to go abroad. So it was fitting that the likes of Five Star, Heaven 17 and Dr. and the Medics would all be passing through over the next couple of days. The first thing we had to do, of course, was check in. On the way to the apartment I was struck by the ratio of men to women. There seemed to be a hell of a lot of men. Worse still, these were ‘Men’s Men’. Lads. You know the type. You see them on West Street in Brighton, and I don’t really gel with these types. The apartment itself was fine; an ideal space to party in all weekend and nothing more. The copious amounts of alcohol would make the springy bed more appealing. As mentioned previously, our fancy dress plan was simple; double denim on the Friday night,

followed by a ‘freestyle’ night on the Saturday, where we each brought a surprise costume. It turned out that we were one of the few groups to dress up on Friday night. We watched The Beat, a great band, but they looked as uncomfortable on stage as we did lurking in the shadows just off the dance floor. We went back to the apartment and had our own party. I can’t say anything more about this, but we were hurting Saturday morning. Fear not – there was an eighties pool party at 11am. We went along, again wary of what we would find. We needn’t have worried. We had a ball and some of the water slides were incredible. Refreshed, we hit the pub ‘for a drink or two’. Saturday night came and it was clear that this was THE night. Just about everybody dressed up and there were some amazing costumes. I was quite camp, as you

Copious alcohol would make the springy bed more appealing can see in the picture, and had to face a couple of comments which could have been categorised as ‘gay hate’. But I minced around as if I was at Pride and got away with it. Five Star came on (only four of them) and were the musical highlight of the weekend. They still do all the dance moves and I still fancy Denise or Lorraine. I can’t remember which one. Overall it was a huge amount of fun but I did feel relieved to come back to liberal Brighton. Would I go again? Probably not. Unless Kajagoogoo made a comeback.

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012_LH707_PublicNotice/filler/bootlegbeatles_quarter_page 28/11/2014 14:17 Page 1

ATTENTION ALL LICENSING & PLANNING CONSULTANTS, ARCHITECTS AND SOLICITORS

PUBLIC NOTICE THE LICENSING ACT 2003 (PREMISES LICENCES AND CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATES) REGULATIONS 2005 Regulation 25 Advertisement TO: WHOM IT MAY CONCERN We Angel House Hove Ltd do hereby give notice that it is our intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for a new premises licence to use or permit the use of premises to be known as Angel House 1Brunswick Terrace Hove BN3 1HN so as to allow the sale of Alcohol for consumption on the premise only between the hours of 10.30 and 2300 daily with the premise closing 30 minutes later. Additionally some film and recorded music may be played between 09.00 and 23.00 all will be subject to conditions restricting entry to only those persons invited to attend the event or function being given and it is not open to members of the public as such.

Are you looking to place affordable Public Notices in a recognised publication? Contact Latest Homes business ad sales team today to find out how.

01273 818150

Any person who desires to make a representation to the application should send to Assistant Director, Public Safety, Health & Safety and Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JP no later than the 24th of December 2014 a brief written statement of the grounds of his/her objection. Copies of the register and applications may be viewed at the above council office during normal office hours; summaries are available via www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/licensing. It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5]. Dated this: 26th of November 2014 Signed: Doug Simmonds

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013_LS707_Ink-d_011_LS466_interview 27/11/2014 17:15 Page 3

L7 COVER STORY

Alex Binney private view

courtesy of the Winston Churchill Fellowship, where she won an award to further the art and craft of community mosaics. Inspired by the vibrant activism, ideology and warmth of the people she met, Carrie has produced a brand new body of work for her show at ink_d gallery that portrays the struggles and people of the real Mexico.

FINE ART

An independent space showcasing immense artistic talent – have you discovered ink_d gallery yet? stablished in 2007, ink_d is an independently run commercial space showing original, challenging and exciting contemporary art. The gallery is an intimate space tucked away in the heart of Brighton’s North Laine on North Road (just a few doors down from Wagamama and before you get to Bill’s Café). Inside you will find the cream of collectable and affordable art with an ethos that supports and nurtures local talent alongside the rising stars and established artists. ink_d gallery shows a diverse range of painting, print, sculpture and ceramics with an emphasis on the cutting edge. In the space, which is arranged over two floors, you are very likely to see a recent graduate showing next to an artist whose work is in museum collections around the world.

Jon Burgerman

The gallery curates eight exhibitions a year and is open seven days a week during shows. One month the gallery could be glowing with neon artwork, the next it will be full of sublime paintings, then radical ceramics followed by European Street Art. There is always something new to see, to inspire, or develop your art collection.

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For collectors and those who are new to buying art, ink_d also offers the fantastic Own Art Scheme for interest free art loans from £100 to £2,500 in 10 monthly instalments. They also offer a bespoke framing service for your artwork. Their lists of artists are too numerous to mention, but previous shows include solo shows with Sir Peter Blake, Stanley Donwood, Jon Burgerman, Kennard Phillipps, James Cauty, Eelus, Graham Carter, Al Murphy, Modern Toss, Dan Baldwin, Alex Binnie and Eine. Group shows include Renegade Potters and Extreme Craft, Made in

Stanley Donwood show

Brighton, Stencil History X, The Power of Portrait and Pushing Paint, to name but a few. Pop in or visit their website and sign up to their mailing list to get invites to private views, art fairs, newsletters, Carrie Reichardt: special events, Lady Death book signings and artist-led talks and workshops such as spray painting, 3D collage and printing. Their website is regularly updated with a blog and all work in the gallery is available to view and buy online. For absolute up to the minute news, follow them on Facebook (inkdgallery), Twitter (@inkdgallery) and Instagram (@inkdgallery). Currently showing at ink_d in the main gallery is ‘Mad in Mexico’ – a solo show of mosaic and ceramic work from Carrie Reichardt. Carrie has recently returned from her self-titled “Radical Mexican Mosaic Mission”,

• LATEST 7 13 www.thelatest.co.uk •

Mexico houses some of the most immense mosaics in the world and has one of the strongest mosaic traditions. Their iconography is steeped in Mayan and Aztec influences, which combines everything Carrie loves; skulls, tripped-out patterns, religious symbolism, mysticism and brilliant striking graphics. ‘Mad in Mexico’ is open every day right up until Christmas Eve. Upstairs at ink_d is their Christmas Group show. The show features work by all their artists with a range of prices to suit all, from stocking fillers to beautiful original artworks for someone special. There will be a late night shopping event on Thursday 4 December from 6 – 8pm, with festive tipples and nibbles and 10% discount on everything in the gallery. If you love art, now is the time to discover ink_d. You never know what you might find! ink_d gallery, 96 North Road, Brighton, BN1 1YE, 01273 645299 Opening hours: Monday to Saturday 10am–6pm & Sundays noon–4pm. gallery@ink-d.co.uk www.ink-d.co.uk

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014_LS707_Treason_CityCabs_Breeze_Layout 1 28/11/2014 14:09 Page 1

Breeze Brasserie Award winners Breeze Brasserie know how to put on a fine festive feast, and one that will not break the bank. At £16.95 per person it ticks the right box for price, but a close look at the menu reveals that it ticks those food boxes, too. Hearty roasted carrot and parsnip soup is a fine winter warmer, and a great option for vegetarians, whilst prawn cocktail or duck pate have a delightful seasonal feel. For mains, the traditional roast turkey is stuffed with walnuts and sage, chicken breast is topped with bacon and cheese, and a wild mushroom risotto cake comes with a creamed parmesan sauce, spinach and poached egg. Of course there is a Christmas pud, but also Banoffee pie or even ice cream if you are needing to loosen that belt – and you may well. Breeze are not in the habit of serving dainty portions! There’s plenty of options for all. The wine list is well priced too, with house wines for £14.95 and the house champagne a modest £39.50. With a friendly welcome, great service and smart interior they have space for parties of all sizes, large and small, at both lunch and dinner. Breeze Brasserie, 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ER 01273 693377 / breezebrasserie.co.uk

BRIGHTON AND HOVE CITY CABS We’ll get you where you want to be, whatever time of day

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015_LS707_YHA_011_LS466_interview 28/11/2014 14:34 Page 3

A NEW BOUTIQUE HOSTEL FOR BRIGHTON Making a weekend of it ... y wife’s birthday falls in that strange no man’s land between December and January where everyone is already away for Christmas, has spent all of their money on presents or is all partied out. It means her birthday is always eclipsed. But this year I had a plan to change that. In the summer, she had (not so quietly) been hinting at a weekend away in Brighton. And being the kind, loving husband she’d always dreamt of, I decided to make it happen for her birthday. I started by trawling through the internet, but after about 10 minutes I’d already seen too many options; cheap but not so cheerful B&Bs and well-over-budget hotels. I needed some expert advice, so I called my mate who used to live in Sussex. He mentioned that YHA had just opened a brand new boutique hostel in Brighton. My first reaction was; ‘a youth hostel?’ All I could think about were communal

“M

rooms, shared bathrooms and having to cook my own breakfast. But he swore by it, saying he had stayed in them all over England and Wales, from a castle in the Forest of Dean to a Shepherd’s Bothy at the foot of Snowdon – just for your information, a Shepherd’s Bothy is a shelter that shepherds use while tending their flocks. Don’t worry, he had to explain that to me too.

advertisement And because it would be my head and marriage on the line and not his, I had to do a little research of my own into YHA Brighton. In no time, I had found that not only is it right in the heart of the city, (literally a two minute walk from the pier, beach and Brighton Wheel) but also that it’s a recently refurbished Grade II listed Georgian townhouse. It sounded perfect. Plus, it had a café bar and free Wi-Fi. That will keep my kids happy (the Wi-Fi, not the bar!). They offered a variety of rooms too. I, obviously, wanted it to be special for my wife and score as many brownie points as possible, so I ruled out booking beds in a dorm room.

Although, I’ll keep it in mind for the future for me and my mates. The premium room sounded lovely. The king sized bed, the roll top bath and the sea views. It’s a shame it didn’t sleep four as my wife would have loved it, but I’ll definitely put that on the back burner for a time without our kids. In the end, I booked one night in the en-suite family room with a double bed and bunk beds, perfect for my son and daughter to clamber around on. All this for a tidy £75. (Almost as cheap as the train tickets.) I’m hoping I can keep this a secret from my wife, but as any married man will know, that’s practically impossible. It’s going to be a great way to get into the festive spirit, I just have to work out what to buy her for Christmas now. Back to the internet it is. Might have to give my mate another call ...” YHA Brighton, your new boutique hostel yha.org.uk/brighton

The king sized bed, the roll top bath and sea views ...

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016_LS707_kay_comps_011_LS466_interview 27/11/2014 11:01 Page 2

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ANDREW KAY SPONSORED BY Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

f you write regularly about food and drink it is not long before you get on the lists of people selling food and drink, from manufacturers and small producers to large and small PR companies. You would be surprised by some of the things that appear in my post and even more surprised by some of the claims that are made. I’m not easily swayed by claims, I baulk at signs that say ‘The BEST Sunday roast in Brighton!’ or ‘The BEST Bloody Mary in town!’. By whose reckoning I ask? I reckon the best Sunday roast in town is at my place or at a friend’s place – I have had good ones in pubs and restaurants, but best? Not by my reckoning. Much of what arrives carries similar claims; the best, the healthiest, the tastiest … the list

G’DAY POM Do I believe in superfoods? goes on and on. It’s remarkable too how many expect you to pass on their claims without ever trying the product. Some of course do understand that and will happily send you a sample to try. This happened recently when a PR approached me by email with information about pomegranate drinks and nuts. It was a timely message as pomegranates are in season right now. In fact the day before I had bought a rather large one. I took it home, cracked it open and tucked in – and to my horror it was vile, I mean really inedible, so sour that a car battery might have proved to be a sweeter snack. It went in the bin, even though I cannot abide food waste. The PR’s promise of pomegranate juice was too hard to resist and a few days later two large bottles of Pom arrived. I immediately opened the one with the pomegranate juice mixed with pure apple juice. It was delicious, a balance of sweet and sharp that brightened up my morning. I took the 100% juice home as I had an idea that I wanted to try. Pom is made using a variety called ‘Wonderful’ which contains vitamin C, fibre, potassium and

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WIN ‘NOW’ CD COMPILATIONS The music behemoth that is the Now That’s What I Call Music team is bringing out not one but three new albums this month, and there is something for everyone: ‘Now Princesses’, ‘Now Musicals’, and the latest instalment of the numbered ‘Now’ series, ‘Now 89’. We’ve got four copies of each CD to give away to anyone who can answer this question:

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I was rather more sensible with the rest of the juice and had it with breakfast iron. It tastes great on its own and it surely has to be good for you. That said, it is a punchy drink and one that I felt could be used in other ways. Firstly I mixed it 50/50 with sparkling mineral water. Amazingly it didn’t seem to lose any of the unique flavour but it did make it an easier drink. That done, I moved on. If it worked that well with fizzy water, how would it fare with fizzy wine?

I had a bottle of something sparkling that needed to be opened and decided to give it a whirl. This time I decided that 20% Pom to 80% sparkling wine might be the right mix – I was not wrong. The wine tasted okay on its own, not brilliant, not so good that mixing it would be sacrilege. The Pom 100% turned it into the most delicious drink; refreshing, pretty to look at and so much better than the dismal flavour of bucks fizz which is a rather dull waste of fizz. Having done this, I then decided that a more festive angle could be given by adding a small measure of a rather pretty liqueur that has flakes of gold leaf in it. There was only a little left but my word it looked pretty when added to the fizz and the pom, like a festive snow globe, silly maybe but rather nice. I was rather more sensible with the rest of the juice and had it with breakfast, a small glass as it is rather punchy. That said, it means it goes a long way. In addition to the juices came excellent nuts, ‘Wonderful Pistachios’ and ‘Wonderful Almonds’. Excellent and very fresh, they certainly helped make an evening in front of the TV rather special. I’ve tried so many superfoods over the years and so many simply do not taste nice, Pom tastes great and I will certainly buy it again.

WIN SIMON EVANS DVDS Hove-based man of the woods (is than an oxymoron?) Simon Evans’ ‘never-less-thanhilarious view of the world’ is showcased in a new performance from our own fair city, available to buy on DVD and digital download from Monday 1 December – ‘Simon Evans Live At The Theatre Royal’. We’ve got five copies of

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the DVD to give away to anyone who can answer this question: Which topical TV comedy panel show, hosted by Dara O Briain, has Simon Evans appeared on?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk With the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 8 December 2014.

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017_LH707_spencers_cafe_011_LS466_interview 26/11/2014 15:58 Page 1

CHIC BOUTIQUE Spencers was once a cafe, but is now a delightful emporium packed with unique gifts ... and coffee! oanna Spencer is a bright woman with a good eye. Her cafe, popular and renowned for making great coffee, was doing okay. But in a world where every cafe was claiming to make great coffee and everyone seemed hell bent on opening a coffee shop, she realised it was time to diversify. Spencers has re-emerged, butterfly like, as a styish gift shop. Inside Joanna has sourced a wide range of delightful gifts for all ages and all pockets – and she still sells that delicious coffee, an organic and sustainable Peruvian blend that she is justifiably proud of. It really is very good. So what marks Spencers out as being different from the rest? We think the answer lies in the subtle difference between a shop that celebrates the contemproary rather than idolising retro, or as it is so fashionably known, ‘vintage’. Not that the aesthetic totally ignores that look, no, but it does it alongside a range of products and brands that are very much a reflection of the moment and not simply idling in the past. The range of delicious chocolates is not only tasty and attractively packaged, but they are also unusual; not what we have seen everywhere else. Bright jewel coloured bonbons sit closely by pastel marshmallows – the confection of the moment. They are keenly priced too, a perfect

gift choice for a friend or a delightful alternative to a bottle of wine when going to a dinner party. There are stylish toiletries too, again beautifully packaged and carefully sourced by Joanna – and ideal for both men and women. We loved the shelf filled with tiny baby shoes in unique designs that are guaranteed to put a smile on the faces of new parents, and we suspect would be kept in memory of a baby’s earliest days. In another cabinet we find beautiful hand made brooches, vibrantly coloured and exquisitely made. Joanna is keen to champion the work of local artists and designers and all around the shop there is evidence of that. A lampshade is made of immaculately cut and folded paper flowers and a framed picture by the same artists is even more impressive. Opposite, a rack is lined with excellent greeting cards, again unique designs that we have not seen anywhere else – and so sensibly priced, real competition for those high street card shops selling mass produced products for the same price. There are even gifts for dogs, or should we say dog lovers? Designer coats for pampered pooches that put a big smile on our faces. That is perhaps what is so charming about Spencers, that it offers a range of well priced gifts that are stylish and affordable and at the same time would satisfy that desire we all have to find something really special. Joanna has also sourced small jute gift bags, ideal for popping that bijou gift into for those

• LATEST 7 17 www.thelatest.co.uk •

of us who are in a hurry – and how often do we remember that we need a gift at the very last minute? The bags are pretty, and Joanna has put together themed groups of gifts that fit tidily into them if you are in need of help in deciding what to buy and short of time. There really is a great range, from inexpensive items suitable for kids to buy mum or granny, to statement pieces for more special occasions, or simply to put a splash of excitement into you own life or home. Joanna Spencer has created a delight and is still out there looking for more delights with which to fill her Kemp Town Village emporium. Spencers is open Tues to Sat 10am – 6pm and in December will be open seven days a week. Friday 28 November is late night Christmas shopping in Kemp Town Village. Spencers, 95 St George’s Road, Brighton, BN2 1EE, 01273 840309

018_LS707_hotlist_011_LS466_interview 28/11/2014 10:44 Page 2

HOTLIST Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit thelatest.co.uk BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN BARDSLEY’S Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

INDIAN CHAULA’S LEWES Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor

and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk CHAULA’S BRIGHTON A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy gheebased sauces here but an

Donatello

altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

THE CHILLI PICKLE The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

THE CHILLI PICKLE CANTEEN The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases The Chilli Pickle

some of the restaurant’s familiar touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384

ITALIAN DONATELLO Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477 www.donatello.co.uk

THAI STREET THAI Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444

UP TO 50% OFF YOUR FOOD BILL

HOLMBUSH SHOPPING CENTRE

TABLE POUNCER Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill. Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable. http://thelatest.co.uk/tablepouncer

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019_LS707_cook It_011_LS466_interview 28/11/2014 14:40 Page 3

with Andrew Kay

SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET The man behind the original Hove Kitchen returns first met Ben Ranger when he took over the ailing restaurant in myHotel. He was instrumental in turning round the fortunes of the, at that time, blighted venue. So when it closed for a second time there was a real sense of disappointment. Table had become a favourite, great value and great atmosphere. He bounced back with The Hove Kitchen and again it became a popular haunt, great food and a real family vibe that did not spoil it for those of us without kids either. When it closed I was sad – after all, the chef did at that time make the only decent eggs Benedict in town and his shoestring fries were positively addictive. Ben was in search of a place to buy though, and not to rent, and once again he moved on hoping to find that place. That he has done and now he has opened Avenue in Church Road, Hove. I took a sneaky peek in the window a few weeks back and it looked good, but before I could really study the menu I was spotted, and as I did not want to eat I smiled, tapped my watch and made a sad face. But it did prompt me to go back, and go back soon. In fact I was there two days later, a Friday evening, and I arrived at 6.30pm, half an hour before my friend Ms C. That was good, it gave me time to slip into their new upper floor cocktail bar and sample the work of mixologist Paul. Good work too as he loves to create drinks to suit the customer's tastes, and he made me a very nice and very dry gin based drink. I was very happy. When Ms C arrived we went downstairs to dine. The menu is all new. Ben's original chef has moved on but his replacement has worked at Terre à Terre, one of the city's most exacting kitchens, and is clearly talented. Ms C started with prosciutto salad with figs, rocket and an elderberry balsamic dressing. It looked good and

generous too. I chose the arancini eggs with pumpkin jam and pea shoots. I love arancini so it was an easy choice, but when I saw how expertly these had been made I was amazed. The risotto balls were fried to a perfect golden yellow, but inside the quail's eggs were amazing with soft runny yolks, it looked wonderful and tasted beautiful. Ms C moved on to steak for her main and chose a rump, medium rare, with a mushroom sauce. How she loved that mushroom sauce, she waxed lyrical about it throughout the meal from that point and even continued in the car as we drove home. I tasted it – not a lot as I did not wish to risk losing a limb! I decided that I was in the mood for a simple dish and the offer of roast chicken with chips and aioli struck exactly the right chord. The half chicken came as two glistening and expertly dressed pieces, leg and thigh and breast, real knife skills at work, and it was crisp skinned but succulent inside. The chips were good too, crisp out and fluffy inside ... yes I can see a thread of crisp out and fluffy in appearing here. Anyway, I loved my chicken and especially the very good aioli which had just the right amount of garlic punch.

I took a punt. I was right to do so

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I was probably too full for dessert but it would have been rude to leave Ms C to eat alone. She had chosen a sticky fig pudding with a butterscotch sauce which she liked, especially the sauce. She did suggest that figs perhaps offered less 'sticky' than the conventional date recipe, but declared it good all the same. I chose the honey roast pear crumble with chestnuts and oats topped with vanilla icecream. I'm not normally a crumble fan, a bad teenage experience at the hands of a friend's mother who made something that looked like a lava flow and was about the same temperature. Somehow though, this combination of ingredients appealed, so I took a punt. I was right to do so, it was absolutely delicious. Paul then send me a Rob Roy, a hearty cocktail to finish the evening off with a kick. Avenue is extremely good, well priced, family friendly without dumbing down and the addition of a pizza selection will no doubt prove popular, I have to say they looked very good. I will most certainly return. Avenue, 65-67 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2BD, 01273 739742 / avenuehove.com

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on Freeview channel 8,

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020-021_LS707_stage_filmart_011_LS466_interview 26/11/2014 17:34 Page 2

stage / film / comedy / art / music

L7 ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Watch Latest entertainment on

Andrew Kay

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Photo: Philip Vile

STAGE

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RIVER OF BLOOD This December sees the return of a surreal play about Brighton’s hidden past. You may have heard of The Wellesbourne, the forgotten stream that flowed under the centre of the town. When the Pavilion was being built, the stream was already a thorn in the side of developers who wanted to build on prime land in the town’s centre. So naturally, when The Prince Regent commanded the diversion of the Wellesbourne, it was a very popular move. Unless of course, you consider the land and its waters to be sacrosanct. This River of Blood is the award-winning darkly comic true story of how The Prince Regent, (later George IV) patronised the town, partook of the town’s women, fathered unwanted children, and engaged in a battle to wrestle the land, on which he wished to build his Pavilion, from the forces of nature. In so doing, so writer/performer Jonathan Brown imagines, he clashes with early environmental activists. River Of Blood, written & performed by Jonathan Brown, Dukebox Theatre, Brighton, 6 December

THE WRITE STUFF An exciting new writing initiative launched by HighTide and Chichester Festival Theatre n exciting opportunity for young playwrights to develop new work from the page to the stage has been launched by HighTide Writers Academy and Chichester Festival Theatre. Young people aged 16 – 25 are invited to apply for an intensive week of writing, mentoring and support which will be led by a professional writer and director. Participants will be nurtured as they build the skills and confidence needed to develop their writing. The aim is to produce a 10-minute play, a number of which will be read by actors at the prestigious annual HighTide Festival in September 2015. The Festival has previously staged work by award-winning playwrights such as Nick Payne (Constellations, Blurred Lines) and Ella Hickson (Boys). The week-long course is free, and help may be available with travel and accommodation costs. The scheme is open to young people living, working or studying in the south or east of England. Applicants must be available from Tuesday 7 to Saturday 11 April 2015, and

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on Sunday 13 September 2015, which is when the winning plays will be read at the HighTide Festival in Aldeburgh, Suffolk. Jonty Boustead, Senior Youth Theatre Leader at Chichester Festival Theatre, said: “We’re really excited to work with HighTide to develop the talents of emerging young playwrights. It’s a fantastic opportunity for young people to be mentored by inspirational theatre professionals, and to have their work presented at HighTide’s Festival next year.” The closing date for applications is 9 January 2015. To apply, or find out more, visit hightide.org.uk/academy2015. Alternatively please contact Freddie Porter on 0207 566 9763 or freddie@hightide.org.uk

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020-021_LS707_stage_filmart_011_LS466_interview 28/11/2014 15:54 Page 3

entertainment news / film/ art

BRIGHTON’S ARTY

FILM

Jessica KellgrenHayes

Alison Krog



STORIES FROM THE CITY

eing the ‘film girl’ of LatestTV – working on a film review show, a televised film festival and the film news – means that occasionally the different programmes I create cross over in wonderful ways. In this week’s PostFeature one of the films we will be reviewing comes from Jamie Patterson of Jump Start Productions, whose work we will soon be showing as part of FilmFest. Jamie is a very young filmmaker who established Jump Start Productions in 2009 to make “innovative independent feature films that promote the essence of their origins in the city of Brighton”. The studio has put out films of varying lengths before, but with their latest they are set to shoot out into the public consciousness! Home For Christmas, released this week, tells the tale of Beth Prince, who has always loved fairy tales and now finally feels as if she is in one of her own. With her dream job in a charming independent cinema (hello, Duke of York’s!), a handsome boyfriend and living by the sea, surely nothing could possibly need improving? Except yes, obviously it does, or else this wouldn’t be a very good film. Beth’s problem is that no man has ever told her they love her and she is so desperate to hear those three little words she decides to take matters into her own hands … and promptly wishes she hadn’t. More pressure is piled upon poor Beth’s shoulders when the regional director of a multiplex cinema determines he will get his hands on their lovely little cinema. The film stars Brightonian Lucy Griffiths, who played Nora in True Blood, Derren Nesbitt, who you may remember from Where Eagles Dare (1968) and Flawless (2007), and April Pearson, of Skins fame, in the lead role. The film is based on the well-reviewed novel of the same name from Cally Taylor. Granted, I am a little dubious about a plot based on a woman feeling unfulfilled until she has confirmation of a man’s affection … but a fight to stop the ‘big name’ taking over the ‘little guy’ cinema is certainly something we can all get behind! It’s a film I can’t wait to see for many reasons, so do tune in to PostFeature on Wednesday at 6.30pm (or check the schedule for repeats if you have missed it) to see what I think. Do also keep your eyes peeled for more from Jump Start Productions on FilmFest. If you too have a short film crying out for a wider audience, then make sure to email me – jessica@thelatest.tv – to see what we can do about getting it on television, and getting you the recognition you deserve. Spread the word, tell your friends and get in touch. Lastly, do remember that CINECITY is still on and there are still tickets to wonderful things. Log on to the CINECITY website now! www.cine-city.co.uk

It’s a film I can’t wait to see for many reasons



DESTINATION DITCHLING

pparently being Danish is an excuse for eating pickled herrings (not recommended for non-Nordic Natasha constitutions), having a penchant for Caughey expensive furniture design, and going totally overboard during the festive season. So every year we make a pilgrimage to the land of Krog for our annual fill of marzipan, glug and Christmas markets. If that’s put you in the mood for some quirky festive shopping closer to home, head in the direction of Ditchling to the Turner Dumbrell Workshops. (If it’s put you in the mood for dubious salty bottled fish, I suggest you reconsider.) This Saturday, ten studios will be open with artists and makers showcasing their work. We particularly recommend a visit to Auricula Gallery, where Natasha Caughey designs dazzling beaded jewellery. Natasha hand-selects the gemstones and freshwater pearls on her trips to China and India, and her experiments with colour and texture result in truly inspired collections. Also to be found in the treasure trove that’s TDW, is the Window Gallery presided over by one of Brighton’s favourite artists – Philip Dunn. One of the original ‘Five at Fiveways’, Philip’s ability to capture Brighton’s seafront – and his particularly evocative deckchair scenes – has created iconic artworks that are symbolic of the city and the choice for many public spaces. Go and experience the real deal in Philip Dunn his delightfully welcoming art space. Something old: When Ollie Learmonth isn’t lounging around on a chaise longue (beautifully restored, of course), he’s the force behind In My Room on Gloucester Road. It’s an homage to 20th-century design, where Ollie – a former furniture designer himself – revitalises classic pieces, giving them a modern twist that works perfectly with contemporary styles. Meet him at this week’s Vintage and Antiques Market at the Open Market, London Road, on Sunday 7 December.

Follow me: @latestjessica

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022-023_LS707_comedy_music_011_LS466_interview 27/11/2014 10:43 Page 2

DEEP SPACE

entertainment news / comedy /art / events

COMEDY

Victoria Nangle

EVENT: THE SPACE: FILM & TV DIRECTOR BEN WHEATLEY & ORBITAL’S PAUL HARTNOLL A rare opportunity to witness live interviews with these two giants in their fields. With proceedings hosted by Lisa Holloway, as well as a raffle with prizes as unique and diverse as limited edition signed 12 inch singles from Paul Hartnoll, DVDs of films and TV shows directed by Ben Wheatley, and Cineworld tickets. Emporium, Mon 8 Dec, 8pm, £10



3 WISE NIGHTS Start your advent this year with laughter and joy, as well as giggles and goodwill

an walks into a venue. There’s an evening of comedy on. He likes it. This could be the story that kicks off your December, or you can put a twist on it and make it a woman who walks into the venue. Apparently there are women in comedy too these days. Who knew? Anyway, the start of the month greets us with a feast of comedy treats, from the very established to the shy buds of brand new talent wrapped up in a festive bow. Kicking off on Tuesday 2 December is the New Act Night at Komedia (8pm, £7/5). This is a very special New Act Night, as for many it is their first gig ever, and for all it’s the culmination of months of Saturday mornings spent at Komedia with acclaimed comedy coach Jill Edwards, completing her Beginners’ Comedy Course. Having seen both Seann Walsh and Angela Barnes (both C4’s Stand Up For The Week) at their own end-ofterm New Act Night here, as well as others still on that upwards trajectory to telly success and live touring, this is a very friendly night with around a dozen acts each performing three minutes of material – each of whom will have auditioned for their spot on the bill.

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And if this lot don’t fill you with warmth and festive jolliness you might want to have a long hard look at yourself. Second on in our line-up of cracking good nights out arrives this Saturday, with Alan Davies’ show Little Victories at the Brighton Dome Concert Hall (8pm, £26/21). Frequently recognised off the telly as the QI regular – thank you Dave repeats – and Jonathan Creek, Davies has been getting back to his stand up roots in recent years, reminding us all of his storytelling gift and intrinsic funny bones. Finally, next Tuesday 9 December sees the arrival of the jam-packed with delights Charity Chuckle Christmas Cracker! at Komedia (8pm, £15/10). With a line-up that boasts awardwinning sketch group and BBC3 sitcom creators Pappy’s, the ever-brilliant Zoe Lyons, cabaret star Miss Behave, as well as Spencer Jones, Kate Lucas, Evelyn Mok and more. All proceedings go to two local charities, RISE and Survivors Network, as part of the global campaign – 16 Days to End Violence Against Women. What could be more festive than laughter literally supporting goodwill for all? www.komedia.co.uk www.jill-edwards.co.uk http://brightondome.org www.charitychuckle.co.uk

Follow me: @latestvicky

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EVENT: BRIGHTON DOME TEA DANCE WITH THE FOOTLOOSE DANCE ORCHESTRA We transport you back to the elegant age of the 1920s and 1930s at our ever-popular tea dance. The 15-piece Footloose Dance Orchestra keep you on your toes as you twirl across the Corn Exchange to all of your favourite styles. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, Sun 7 Dec,

2pm, £14 ART: PAUL BOWER Printer, illustrator and punk rocker Paul Bower’s rock and pop orientated works will be on show at this reputable rock’n’roll hotel/bar. Hotel Pellirocco, Regency Square, 01273 327055. Until 11 Jan ART: ALEX MAY ‘Painting With Light’ is a digital video mapping software, created by artist Alex May, which allows, for the first time, the ability to ‘paint’ with digital video footage in real-time via a data projector onto physical sculptures. Phoenix Gallery, 10-14 Waterloo Place, 01273 603700. 6-10 Dec

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022-023_LS707_comedy_music_011_LS466_interview 27/11/2014 10:41 Page 3

music / clubs To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

DRILL: BRIGHTON

A new festival comes to town, curated by legendary post-punkers Wire and One Inch Badge

ult post-punk band Wire released three classic albums on the trot; Pink Flag, Chair’s Missing and 154, before releasing Documents & Eyewitness, a recording of their infamous Electric Ballroom show in 1980, which featured 100% brand new material. A very challenging record, it documented their frustrations with the traditional confines of music performance, and attempts to incorporate visual performance and art within their shows. Roll on 2013, and their latest album Change Becomes Us incorporated songs based on ideas for that Documents & Eyewitness period, producing an excellent record of art pop ferocity. To coincide with that release, Wire curated the initial

Drill: festival (Drill: London), the first instalment in a planned series of multi-venue festivals across the UK and beyond. To date there have been Drill: festivals in London and Seattle in 2013, with more to come in 2015 following Drill: Brighton in December 2014. The concepts behind Drill: festivals are simple – to challenge preconceptions of Wire, and to showcase their impact on and relationship with groups and artists from younger generations, to connect with both new and established artists whose work they find inspiring and feel that they have a kinship with, and to open up opportunities for oneoff collaborations. Drill: Brighton, for example, will see Wire

team up with noise-rock outfit Swans, to perform an extended version of the always-mutating Wire track ‘Drill’, as well as the return of the historic ‘Pinkflag Guitar Orchestra’, which sees Wire joined onstage by members of bands who are involved over the course of the festival. Along with local friends, allies and past collaborators, the guitarists then play an extended, improvised version of Wire’s ‘Pink Flag’ at high volume. For Drill: Brighton, Wire and One Inch Badge are delivering a fantastic line-up of 100 bands, artists, films, talks and exhibitions across 14 different venues, and four days. Along with Swans there's These New Puritans, The Wytches, Jesca Hoop, Savages, British Sea Power (with The Bournemouth Symphony Brass Quintet), Blood Red Shoes, Toy, Courtney Barnett, east India Youth, Fujiya & Miyagi, The Wedding Present, Gold Panda, and recent Mercury Music Prize winners Young Fathers.

Follow me: @latestjeff

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20 Another week and another great music chart for you! Listen online to get your favourite to the top and to submit your own tracks.

1 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Dirty Weekend In Brighton 2 North Laine A Place We Knew 3 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Frankie 4 tenek If I Should Fall (ep version) 5 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 6 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Ben Sherman (style man from Brighton) 7 The Last Cry Rebekka 8 Vortex Generator Regenerate 9 Swarf Parlour Tricks 10 Chaos Borne Watching 11 tenek State Of Mind 12 Chaos Borne I Will 13 DJ h Ultrabeat Groove

CLUB HIGHLIGHTS

14 La Lunalight Hear No Evil

Don’t miss our pick of Brighton after dark WHITE MINK: ELECTRO SWING SPEAKEASY Named by Mixmag as the second best party in the UK, they were already the critically acclaimed originators of a speakeasy and swing revival. Expect high production values, cutting edge but accessible music, world-class performers, a fantastic atmosphere and surprises galore! The Old Market, Fri 5 Dec, 8pm, £14

15 Ziggurat Sunset Bless The Thief

KAOS 2ND BIRTHDAY The upbeats, Need For Mirrors, and Voltage – with support from De:Tune, Trouble & Maniac, S.T, Threts, Kilo, Lotskee, Payne & Jester. Hosted by Impact MC, Dirtz (birthday set), Tech, Hijak, Rumble, Kerizma, Range and Degs MC. Room 2 hosted by Nu:Manoeuvres & more. Volks, Sat 6 Dec, 10pm, £5 before midnight

HUEY MORGAN DJ SET Join the Fun Lovin’ Criminals front man and BBC6 Music DJ for a night of rock, hip hop, jazz, reggae, funk and whatever else the mood brings ... this guy knows how to party! Concorde 2, Sat 6 Dec, 11pm, £10

16 Sam Dickinson How It Used To Be 17 Senior Service Senior Service 18 Mean Poppa Lean Ain’t Nobody 19 tenek No Time For Fighting (Jab edit) 20 Chaos Borne The Moment

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC & VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

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024_LS707_boredgamers_science_011_LS466_interview 28/11/2014 10:57 Page 2

WE’VE GOT ISSUES

UNLOCKING POTENTIAL

Greg Marshall on panic, peace, and cyclical natures

Science & technology at Portslade Aldridge Community Academy





LATESTWRITES

BORED GAMERS

DR CAROLINE OPRANDI

oday we shall be considering the notions of blind panic and last minute reprieve. As night surely follows day, there is often that long awaited and mightily deserved exhale as one realises they have solved what seemed like the impossible task that was facing them only a short while before. Of course, a few days back, such a moment of inner peace seemed a distant pipe dream as I rushed around frantically trying to a solve my triumvirate of issues. Now I should clarify, as I am in a position to speak to a larger mass of people via television and print, that my issues pale into comparison compared to the larger issues facing global society today. For example, my guest cancellation was not on the same scale as third world poverty and hunger, yet as all things are subjective, had you suggested this a few days back I would have started swinging for you. On top of a guest cancellation, I had the lack of costume for our Sci-fi special and a complete lack of idea as for what to write about in this column. As the days and then hours until filming dwindled, my brow and general demeanour furrowed. Having exhausted a list of developer and celebrity friends, Jim and I briefly considered the two options of having no guest at all for the first time since the show started, or asking the television equivalent of Joe Bloggs from the street. The first of the issues was resolved in an abstract but satisfying way when I discovered the card of a games developer that had been given to me by a third party, randomly. One email later and we had a guest of excellent calibre booked, without having to sacrifice the usual standard of guests or our journalistic integrity. The costume conundrum was solved in no small part by the gracious help of the excellent staff at Revamp fancy dress in Brighton. Their willingness to bend over backwards helping us find the ideal costume was amazing and at this point most welcome! This left only the article to consider, and it is once again in a strange cyclical nature that the original issue tends to lend the solution as I prattle on about the very reason I had nothing to write. And only a full week after the deadline. Now to ease the panic of Latest 7’s Editor – sorry, Louise! Bored Gamers is an hourlong weekly show on all things gaming. Tune in to see it on Latest TV at 9pm every Friday night.

I rushed around trying to solve my triumvirate of issues

right-stars (our year 11 triple science team) are going to Imperial College London to design a ‘Settlement in Space’. This is a competition hosted by the UK Space Agency and if they win, they go to NASA. Good luck Bright-stars! The Astronomy Club will be attending the Astronomy Masterclass held at the University of Sussex. Dr Darren Baskill, who organizes these events, has recently tweeted about the South Downs Dark Skies pledge – apparently there are precious places in the South Downs where the dark skies are still dark enough to reveal an astonishing starscape. There is a bid to make the South Downs an ‘International Dark Skies Reserve’ and you can help to support the bid by going online (www.darksky.org). As something of a tangent, we have also started to write a Dr Who play, where Dr Who travels back in time and meets all of our favourite scientists. We then have to imagine what the world would be like without them. We are delighted to have the English department helping us with the script – so who knows where it will go, with the sciences and humanities coming together. The skies are still Exciting stuff! dark enough to We are also casting the first reveal an astonishing female Dr Who. Trying to find famous female scientists in starscape history is harder than trying to find male ones. But then again, in our not-too-distant past, women were rejected from university simply for being female; Marie Curie, for starters. In 1847, Elizabeth Blackwell was also rejected for wanting to study medicine, and was told to disguise herself as a man. It was put to a vote of 150 male students at Geneva Medical College regarding whether she should be accepted, who, thinking it was a joke, voted ‘yes’. She became the first female doctor!

Follow me: @CarolineOprandi

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025_LS707_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/11/2014 10:48 Page 1

TUESDAY 2 Holby City BBC1, 8pm You’d think that if you worked in healthcare you’d know the importance of avoiding stress. Not this lot. Jesse realises he needs to face up to how much his dalliance with Zosia may have affected her health, and meanwhile she’s fighting to prove to herself that her meds don’t impact on her abilities. Stress!

17 Kids And Counting Channel 4, 9pm This documentary catches up with the Radfords – the country’s biggest family. That’s a lot of shoes left by the front door. Sophie has moved out and is set to make Sue and Noel grandparents for the second time, and Chloe’s getting ready to fly the nest for uni. Time to expand the brood, then.

The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 9pm Vampires that look hot yet don’t shimmer in the sunlight or talk with a Southern drawl – oh my! Kai lets Bonnie and Damon know to get ready for the eclipse that can bring them back home. Good ole solar yellow brick road! And Stefan tells Caroline to teach Ivy the vampire ropes. Biting, glamouring ... anything else?

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 The Newspapers 9.00 The Vote 9.30 Cook It! 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00 International Chef Exchange 1.00 The Vote 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Bookenders 7.00 Best Of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 You Make It, We Show It! 9.00 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 9.30 Indiecan 10.00 Modern Toss Comedy series with lots of swearing! 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Bookenders 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00am News 12.30 Bookenders 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 You Make It, We Show It 3.00 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 3.30 Indiecan 4.00 Modern Toss 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Bookenders 5.30 Under The Radar

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Peter returns from New Zealand and starts to put a plan into action. Carol and Tina are concerned for Sonia when she returns from her course looking the worse for wear. Where has she really been? 8.00 Holby City See highlights. 9.00 The Missing Relationship thriller exploring the emotional fallout of a child’s abduction on both the family and the wider community, told over two time frames and two countries. In 2006, both Tony and Emily are struggling. In the present day, Tony and Julien make a breakthrough. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Colm Toibin: His Mother’s Son Alan Yentob talks to acclaimed and curiously divided Irish writer Colm Toibin. Loud and affable in person, Toibin writes sombre stories of grief and quiet heartbreak, repeatedly returning to the dark narrative of his own childhood and the complicated relationships between mothers and sons. 11.40 Film 2014 The Film 2014 team take a look at the week’s film releases. 12.10am FILM: Skeletons (2010) 1.45 Weather For The Week Ahead 1.50 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball is joined by the couple who narrowly escaped elimination. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge It’s the final and after starting with 27 amateur interior designers, only two remain. To win the title, the two designers must complete their final challenge – transforming three rooms each in a stately home. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals It is the semi-finals. 9.00 Secrets Of The Castle With Ruth, Peter And Tom Historian Ruth Goodman and archaeologists Peter Ginn and Tom Pinfold turn the clock back as they learn how to build a medieval castle using the same tools, techniques and materials available in the 13th century. 10.00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme Sarah Millican is joined by Phillip Schofield, her favourite television star of all time, and some of the cast of Call The Midwife. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights. 12.10am Snooker: UK Championship Extra 2.10 Sign Zone: Film 2014 4.00 Wonders Of The Universe 5.00 Planet Dinosaur

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rakesh is shocked by Kirin’s confession. 7.30 No Place To Call Home: Tonight This year 90,000 children will spend Christmas in temporary accommodation. As more and more people approach local councils for help to find somewhere to live, this programme follows one family to see what life is really like without a permanent place to call home. 8.00 Emmerdale Rakesh and Vanessa try to protect Kirin. Laurel is hurt by Marlon’s actions. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the jungle survival challenge. The celebrities battle hunger, the jungle and each other as decision time for King or Queen of the jungle gets ever closer. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 FILM: Public Enemies (2009) Starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Billy Crudup, Stephen Dorff, Jason Clarke, James Russo, Stephen Lang. Action thriller set in the Great Depression about notorious bank robber John Dillinger, who stole from big businesses but never ordinary citizens and became something of a folk hero. 1.15am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Claimed And Shamed 11.30 Channel Patrol 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.55 Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food 4.25 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Channel Patrol 7.50 Claimed And Shamed 8.20 Holiday Of My Lifetime With Len Goodman 9.05 Antiques Roadshow 10.05 Close Calls: On Camera 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Daily Brunch 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Celine questions Jason’s behaviour. Patrick enjoys revealing a heart-breaking truth to Maxine. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners Reality series following people who by their own admission are obsessed with cleaning. Lynsey, Mark and Amanda demonstrate their methods for ensuring a cleaner Christmas. Lynsey throws away her children’s Christmas cards when they are not looking. Mark likes his decorations evenly spaced on the tree. Amanda steam cleans her tree before spraying it with an antibacterial product. 9.00 17 Kids And Counting See highlights. 10.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular shows. 11.05 Skint Observational documentary series following residents of the East Marsh area of Grimsby who are living with the effects of long-term unemployment. 12.05am PokerStars.com Shark Cage 1.05 Trans World Sport 2.00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2.25 Cycling: Revolution 3.20 Snowman Triathlon 3.45 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Police Interceptors 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Santa, Jr (2002) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away As Brax promises Ricky that he will stay by her side following the news of her pregnancy, Sgt Emerson arrives to announce Jake’s death. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The UK’s Strongest Man The gruelling final day of the competition in Belfast, Northern Ireland. 8.00 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights Documentary following four UK households as they transform their suburban semis into a glittering festival of Christmas lights. 9.00 Autopsy: Elvis Presley Dr Richard Shepherd picks through the facts surrounding Elvis Presley’s demise at his home in Graceland, using testimony from the singer’s childhood best friend, his cousin and his private nurse as well as the medical facts. 10.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series exploring the reality of life on benefits in Britain. 11.00 NCIS Drama series. The hunt is on for an obsessed serial killer when a mummified woman in a wedding dress is discovered. 11.55 NCIS US drama. 12.50am True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 1.15 SuperCasino 3.10 Ten Years Old And Living In Poverty 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (cx2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Flash 9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Britcam: Emergency On Our Streets 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 2.00am Brit Cops

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Barely Legal Drivers 9.00 Thailand’s Drug Craze: Stacey Dooley Investigates 10.00 Life Is Toff 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Life Is Toff 12.40 Some Girls 1.10 Thailand’s Drug Craze: Stacey Dooley Investigates 2.10 Barely Legal Drivers

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Bombay Railway 9.00 Michael Grade’s Stars Of The Musical Theatre 10.00 Balmoral 11.00 When Rock Goes Acoustic 12.00am Acoustic At The BBC 1.00 Michael Grade’s Stars Of The Musical Theatre 2.00 Sex And Sensibility

6.00pm I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.50 Plebs 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.15 Dads

6.00am Phillip’s Live 24 Hour TV Marathon For Text Santa 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.05 Faith In The Future 4.40 French Fields 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker 12.05am A Touch Of Frost

4.00pm Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Rude Tube 10.00 Bad Robots 10.35 Tattoos After Dark 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am The Inbetweeners

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Four In A Bed 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Taken (2008) 11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 11.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.50am Location, Location, Location Australia

11.00am Dallas (1950) 12.55pm Panic In The Streets (1950) 2.50 Guns Of Fort Petticoat (1957) 4.30 The Four Feathers (1939) 6.50 Fool’s Gold (2008) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.20am The Evil Dead (1981) 2.05 Side By Side (2012) 4.00 Close

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WEDNESDAY 3 Tigers About The House BBC2, 7pm British tiger expert Giles Clark has all the fun – hand-rearing Sumatran tiger cubs at home. And you thought your moggy made a mess of the scratching posts! Giles reckons that Spot and Stripe are now big enough to make the move out of his home and over to Australia Zoo, but his connection to them won’t stop.

Confessions Of A Secretary Channel 4, 10pm The very title ‘secretary’ has the word ‘secret’ in it, so these confessions should be juicy. Marking the history of the role, from the introduction of the new cast of office workers, through the tricky navigation of sexual harassment laws, and on to equality legislation. Plenty to be told by those in the trenches.

Forever Sky1, 10pm Sometimes Douglas Adams’ idea of a detective agency based upon the holistic connections between everything doesn’t seem so farfetched. Tonight Henry and Jo are looking at the origins behind a hit song as a key clue to the murder of the son of a talented saxophonist. ‘Tenuous’ is not the word. Actually, it is.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Best of Brighton Lights 8.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 9.00 The Vote 9.30 Cook It! 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00 Brighton Lights 12.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 1.00 The Vote 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 International Chef Exchange 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 What The Waffle 5.30 Growing Concerns 6.00 News The latest news plus national updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 Post Feature All the latest movie news with Jessica Kellgren-Hayes and Joseph Gunn 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show with presenters Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. 7.30 News 7.50 Sport News 7.55 Weather 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Latest Homes Live Pioneering daily property show, a commercial feature, with homes for sale and to let in the area, as well as Exceptional Homes, iconic buildings, local history and finance tips. 10.30 News 10.50 Sport News 10.55 Weather 11.00 Under The Radar 11.30 Bookenders 12.00am News 12.20 Sport News 12.25 Weather 12.30 Post Feature 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 News 1.50 Sport News 1.55 Weather 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Latest Homes Live 4.30 News 4.50 Sport News 4.55 Weather 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bookenders

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Allie convinces Vaughan to send Justin to a boarding school in an attempt to keep him away from Tiffany but the young lovers have plans of their own. Darren isn’t happy when Rhiannon considers a career as a plus size model. 9.00 The Apprentice Lord Sugar summons the candidates to tell them their next task. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of the night’s four Premier League fixtures as well as Tuesday’s six top-flight games. Chelsea’s London derby against Tottenham is the pick of Wednesday’s games as Spurs look to make amends for the 4-0 defeat they suffered at Stamford Bridge last season. Also in the capital, Arsenal take on a Southampton side who had already won at the Emirates this season – a 2-1 League Cup triumph in September. 12.10am FILM: The 13th Warrior (1999) 1.50 Weather For The Week Ahead 1.55 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball has all the gossip and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Tigers About The House See highlights. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Cookery competition. It is the semi-finals. 9.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys Following his 1913 Bradshaw’s guide, Michael Portillo ventures beyond Europe to the Holy Land. His journey begins in Haifa in modern-day Israel where he is shown how to cook a takeaway – middleeastern style, before heading to Haifa’s original station to find out about its branch line to the famous Hejaz Railway. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired The newly fired candidate from The Apprentice receives a grilling in front of a studio audience. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from Wednesday’s fourth-round matches. 12.10am Intruders 12.55 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.25 Sign Zone: Trust Me, I’m A Doctor 4.00 Welcome To The World 4.30 Your Body: Your Image – The Blame Game 4.40 Body Matters 5.10 Ten Pieces

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain wants to help Charity. Doug is concerned for Laurel and Marlon. Diane tries to build bridges between Andy and Robert. 7.30 Coronation Street Tracy vents her rage on Carla. Is it a close call for Gary and Alya? Tim’s plan to impress Sally backfires. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the jungle survival challenge. The celebrities are hungry and missing home, but they still need to win food for camp in the Bushtucker Trial. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather Alastair Stewart and Julie Etchingham with the latest headlines 10.40 The Chase Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh. Four contestants must pit their wits against the Chaser, a ruthless quiz genius determined to stop them winning the prize cash. 11.40 Fool Britannia Award-winning comedian Dom Joly attempts to fool an entire nation. Armed with a truckload of hidden cameras and devious disguises, no-one and nowhere is safe as Dom unleashes a whole host of brand new characters and pranks across the UK. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Channel Patrol 7.45 Claimed And Shamed 8.15 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.00 Human Universe 10.00 Close Calls: On Camera 10.30 See Hear 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Autumn Statement 3.30pm Snooker: UK Championship 2014

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Daily Brunch 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Maxine is on trial and Dodger begs her not to give in to Patrick’s demands. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Posh Pawn Documentary series looking at high-end pawnbrokers in Britain. Kristin’s gem skills are put to the test when she’s faced with a piece of jade that could be worth over £300,000. A glamorous 47-yearold hopes to pawn her mother’s diamond ring to raise funds to stop her dad’s house subsiding. 9.00 Liberty Of London Documentary series going behind the scenes at the London department store. It’s Christmas time at Liberty as the staff prepare for the busiest time in retail, particularly as they gear up to the launch of the Liberty Christmas shop. It’s Head of Visual Merchandising Liz Silvester’s first Christmas at Liberty and the pressure is on for everything to look perfect. 10.00 Confessions Of A Secretary See highlights. 11.05 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital in south west London. 12.05am 17 Kids And Counting 1.05 MUSIC ON 4: Superstar DJs With Annie Mac 2.00 FILM: Les Infidáles (2012) 3.50 FILM: The Last Wagon (1956) 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00am Children’s television 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Christmas Returns To Canaan (2011) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Phoebe becomes increasingly uncomfortable with the Braxtons’ matter-of-fact approach to Jake’s death and tells Kyle that she is moving out to the caravan park. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Living On The Edge: Blood In The Sea Documentary with anthropologist and filmmaker Chris Terrill in which he ventures to some of the planet’s most extreme environments. 8.00 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun Documentary series looking at the characters who live on the Rock. 9.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series about people who live on benefits. In Blackpool, a mother-of-six is banned from the job centre following an altercation. 10.00 ASBO And Proud Documentary featuring people who have been given Anti-Social Behaviour Orders. 11.00 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights Documentary following four UK households as they transform their suburban semis into a glittering festival of Christmas lights. 12.00am Dallas 12.50 Five VOD True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 1.15 SuperCasino 3.10 Britain’s Bloodiest Dynasty 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor (x2) 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

3.00pm Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 4.00 Get On Up Special 4.30 Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey Special 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (x2) 10.00 Forever. See highlights. 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 9.00 Football Fight Club 10.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sweat The Small Stuff 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.30 Life Is Toff 2.00 Some Girls

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Bombay Railway 9.00 FILM: And Now For Something Completely Different (1972) 10.25 Frost On Sketch Shows 11.25 When Albums Ruled The World 12.55am Blondie: One Way Or Another 2.05 New York Rock At The BBC

12.15pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.15 You’ve Been Framed! 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 FILM: Ocean’s Thirteen (2007) 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.50 Plebs 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x2)

8.25am The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.35 Judge Judy (x3) 10.50 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.05 Faith In The Future 4.40 French Fields 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker 12.05am A Touch Of Frost

4.00pm Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 FILM: Step Up 2: The Streets (2008) 10.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.35 The IT Crowd Special 12.40am Drifters

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Four In A Bed 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 My Big Fat Royal Gypsy Wedding 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 12.30am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown

11.00am Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 1.05pm I Was Monty’s Double (1958) 3.10 Pony Express (1953) 5.15 The Thirty-Nine Steps (1978) 7.20 Hot Shots! (1991) 9.00 The A-Team (2010) 11.20 Stripes (1981) 1.45am Beauty (2011) 3.55 Close

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THURSDAY 4 Brighton Lights Latest TV, 7pm Octogenarian comedian Lynn Ruth Miller and DJ extraordinaire Guy Lloyd host another edition of Brighton Lights, bringing the best and the beautiful, as well as the most bizarre, to your screens. And with the focus coming from our own fair town, you can be sure that anything could crop up. With added fairy dust sprinkles.

Babylon Channel 4, 10pm The drama comedy continues, as the higher echelons of the police force still reverberate from recent events. Crikey! Liz is certainly shaken, and Finn is never one to stop somebody else’s crisis get in the way of his advancement, swiftly sidelining her and stepping up to advise the Deputy Commissioner. The swine.

Scorpion ITV2, 9pm This team of smart alecks may be social misfits, but they’re their social misfits. So when Ralph’s absent father returns to the scene they immediately close ranks, and run possibly the most thorough background check ever on the struggling minor league baseball player. Oh, and chase down a hacker on the side.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 9.00 The Vote 9.30 Cook It! 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Post Feature 1.00 The Vote 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Brighton Lights 2.30 Brighton Lights 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 News The latest local news plus national updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 The Vote 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport. Featuring news about the squads and competitions, classic games from the club’s archives and much more. 8.30 Albion Night More from the Seagulls’ weekly show. 9.30 Albion Night More from the Seagulls’ weekly show. 10.30 News 10.50 Sport News 10.55 Weather 11.00 yourgardenday: Live At The Latest Robin Coward and his band yourgardenday filmed live at the Latest Music Bar in Brighton. 12.00am News 12.20 Sport News 12.25 Weather 12.30 The Vote 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 Albion Night 2.30 Albion Night 3.30 Albion Night 4.30 News 4.50 Sport News 4.55 Weather 5.00 yourgardenday: Live At The Latest

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Lauren has a heartto-heart with Max about her future. 8.00 Watchdog Consumer series with Anne Robinson, Matt Allwright and Chris Hollins. Anne and the team continue their mission to protect consumers with investigations into some of the country’s biggest brands. 9.00 Crimewatch The Crimewatch team are live with the latest crime news, appeals and investigations, including the tragic case of 14-yearold Charlene Downes. The schoolgirl disappeared from Blackpool in 2003 but nobody has been brought to justice for her murder. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update The team is back live with the latest developments on the cases. 10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Doncaster in South Yorkshire. The panel includes Conservative culture secretary Sajid Javid MP, Labour’s shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper MP, Liberal Democrat peer Shirley Williams and actor and comedian Omid Djalili. 11.45 This Week Andrew Neil looks at the political week. 12.30am Holiday Weatherview 12.35 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents all the backstage gossip and behind-thescenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 Jason Mohammad introduces live coverage as the remaining fourthround matches begin. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Cookery competition. It is the semi-finals. 9.00 The Fall Crime drama series set in Northern Ireland. As Gibson recovers from her close encounter with the ‘Belfast Strangler’, a shocking revelation proves how terrifyingly manipulative Paul Spector can be. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard offers his unique and quirky take on the week’s global headlines and bizarre news stories. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 Highlights Jason Mohammad introduces highlights from Thursday night’s fourth-round matches and looks ahead to the quarter-finals. 12.10am The Mekong River With Sue Perkins 1.10 Sign Zone: Afghanistan: The Lion’s Last Roar? 4.00 Arena: The National Theatre 4.30 Ten Pieces Extra 5.10 Vikings 5.50 In My Shoes: Rotterdam

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Robert begins a dangerous game. 7.30 Teenager Lives Online – What Parents Need To Know: Tonight With teenagers living much of their life on social media, are countless hours spent online affecting the health of our teens? Many parents feel excluded from this world and worry about increasing reports of falling self esteem and increasing mental health issues among young people. 8.00 Emmerdale Aaron is confused by mind games. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the jungle survival challenge. The competition is ramping up – who is in reach of the Jungle Crown? 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 FILM: Die Another Day (2002) Starring Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike. Espionage thriller. While on assignment in North Korea, James Bond 007 is captured by government agents and imprisoned, but when he finally wins his freedom not everyone is certain he is still up to his job. 1.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Teenager Lives Online – What Parents Need To Know: Tonight 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Channel Patrol 7.50 Claimed And Shamed 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10.05 Close Calls: On Camera 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Daily Brunch 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Has Nancy made the biggest mistake of her life? Maxine awaits the outcome of her trial. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces Property design series with architect George Clarke. George travels to Macclesfield to visit a firsttime builder who hopes to transform an allotment shed into a Doctor Whostyle, multi-functional play den for less than £300. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital in south west London. The A&E team treat two trauma patients who arrive by helicopter on the hospital’s new helipad. 10.00 Babylon See highlights. 11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats Topical comedy panel show. Host Jimmy Carr is joined by team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock, with guests Kelly Hoppen, Louis Smith, Henning Wehn and David O’Doherty. 11.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay continues his travels. 12.50am One Born Every Minute 1.45 The Paedophile Next Door 2.45 British Property Boom: Dispatches 3.40 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 4.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.30 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am See highlights. 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Police Interceptors 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Annie Claus Is Coming To Town (2011) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Denny attends the barbecue with Hannah to avoid too much awkwardness, while Sophie watches them like a hawk throughout. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked consumer show showcasing the latest technology. 8.00 The Railway: First Great Western Documentary series following the working lives of the staff of First Great Western. 9.00 Britain’s Bloodiest Dynasty Part-dramatised documentary series presented by historian Dan Jones. The history of the Plantagenets continues with the story of king Henry III, his treacherous best friend Simon de Montfort and their bitter struggle for the soul of the nation. 10.00 The Secret D-Day Disaster: Revealed Documentary strand. This instalment uncovers how a rehearsal for D-Day on a sleepy stretch of the Devon coast turned into a bloodbath resulting in the death of hundreds of allied soldiers. 11.00 Nevada Triangle: The Missing Evidence Documentary series investigating conspiracy theories. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 Forever 10.00 FILM: Aliens (1986) 12.40am NCIS: Los Angeles 1.40 Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride (x2) 9.00 Looking After Mum - A Children In Need Special 10.00 World’s Craziest Fools 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x4) 12.35am Snow, Sex & Suspicious Parents 1.35 Life Is Toff 2.05 Sweat The Small Stuff 2.35 Vodka Diaries 3.00 Snow, Sex & Suspicious Parents

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1979 8.00 Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey 9.00 Castles: Britain’s Fortified History 10.00 Puppy Love 10.30 Dancing Cheek To Cheek: An Intimate History Of Dance 11.30 Queens Of Heartache 12.30am Top Of The Pops: 1979 1.10 Duets At The BBC 2.10 Puppy Love

1.50pm Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scorpion. See highlights. 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.50 Plebs 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x2)

8.25am The Darling Buds Of May 9.35 Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.05 Faith In The Future 4.40 French Fields 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker 12.05am A Touch Of Frost

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 9.30 2 Broke Girls 10.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (x2) 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Four In A Bed 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 Is Our Weather Getting Worse? 11.05 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.15am Location, Location, Location

11.00am Earthquake (1974) 1.25pm Love Me Or Leave Me (1955) 3.50 The Cruel Sea (1953) 6.20 The Hunt For Red October (1990) 9.00 The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009) 11.05 Das Boot (1981) 3.10am Close

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FRIDAY 5 Bored Gamers Latest TV, 9pm Why, with all of these brilliant games old and new, you are spoiling us! Or maybe helping us with our Christmas shopping – you sly old Latest TV. To be honest, Greg Marshall and Jim Devereaux may simply be giving you a few tips as to how to hide in your room when home for the holidays. Lots of gaming!

Not Going Out BBC1, 9.30pm If you want to keep a secret you should tell it to Lee, right? Wrong! Lee’s fair bursting at being trusted with the secret of landlady Lucy’s surprise party for her parents’ anniversary. But he’s got to keep Mum. Expect the usual trials and pitfalls that spook this sitcom regularly, with Lee’s best mate on hand to look pained.

FILM: Planes, Trains And Automobiles Film4, 10.40pm Christmas is coming, Christmas is coming, Christmas is coming ... obviously! Steve Martin and the late John Candy need to get home to their families for Thanksgiving. The odd couple join forces in this seasonal comedy to take any route imaginable to get home in time.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 Best of Brighton Lights 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Vote 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00pm Albion Night 1.00 Albion Night 2.00 Albion Night 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 yourgardenday: Live At The Latest

6.00pm News The latest local news plus national and international updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 The Newspapers 7.00 Brighton Lights A nightly entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 News 7.50 Sport News 7.55 Weather 8.00 The Vote 8.30 News 9.00 Bored Gamers Greg and Jim present a weekly show for gaming enthusiasts. 10.00 Modern Toss The stink of excellence in a world gone tits-up! Comedy animation and live-action series. Lots of swearing. 10.30 StageUp Unplugged 11.00 Noise Reel Bmusic’s David Elphick and Catherine Sear amplify a wave of music news and entertainment to your ears with partners BN1 magazine providing local listings. 12.00am yourgardenday: Live At The Latest 1.00 Under The Radar 1.30 Bored Gamers 2.30 Modern Toss 3.00 StageUp Unplugged 3.30 Noise Reel 4.30 yourgardenday: Live At The Latest 5.30 Noise Reel Extra

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook The comedy legends return to their famous desk to give an insight into the backstage stories behind some of their classic moments. 8.00 EastEnders Sonia’s family and friends are shocked to find out what she has been up to. 8.30 Citizen Khan Sitcom. It is the day of Shazia’s hen do, and she is looking forward to having some fun with her friends. Unfortunately, though, she ends up with a few extra guests in tow. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular satirical news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Jack Dee, and panellists Joan Bakewell and Mark Watson. 9.30 Not Going Out See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham’s guests are Michael Keaton, Oscar-tipped for new film Birdman, top chef Jamie Oliver and pop sensations One Direction. 11.20 Cuckoo Comedy series. 11.50 EastEnders A chance to catch up on the week’s drama. 1.50am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.55 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball takes a sneak peek into rehearsals. 7.00 Mastermind John Humphrys invites four more contenders to answer questions in the black chair. The subjects are Doctor Who, lost rivers of London, Brian Epstein and the Anglo-Zulu Wars of 1979. 7.30 MOTD Live: FA Cup 2nd Round Dan Walker presents live FA Cup second round coverage from Victoria Park as League Two strugglers Hartlepool United take on non-league side Blyth Spartans in an eagerly anticipated north-east derby. 10.00 QI Quiz show in which the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry looks into ladies and gents with Ross Noble, Kathy Lette, Sue Perkins and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic pop quiz. Host Rhod Gilbert and team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by Grace Chatto, Rob Beckett, Charli XCX and Phil Daniels. 11.35 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 Highlights Jason Mohammad introduces highlights from Friday night’s quarter-finals at the Barbican in York. 12.25am FILM: Comfort And Joy (1984) 2.05 Sign Zone: Question Time

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle struggles at the wedding. Harriet’s actions come back to haunt her. 7.30 Coronation Street Smitten Kevin appeals to Tim. Sean and Sinead paint the town red. Has Yasmeen set her sights on No 6? 8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show Martin Lewis and Saira Khan present the money-saving series with consumer tips in time for Christmas. Martin helps customers take on the energy giants, revealing that 3.5 million people are owed £200 million from their old energy suppliers. He shows how to get the money back with just one phone call. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Sally give the game away to Diane? Sean’s head is turned by a new man. Tracy feels trapped. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the jungle survival challenge. The celebrities face another day of hunger and hardship in the jungle, but the finish line is in sight. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: We Own The Night (2007) Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Eva Mendes, Mark Wahlberg. Crime drama set in 1980s Brooklyn. 1.20am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Channel Patrol 7.50 Claimed And Shamed 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10.05 Children’s Hospital: The Chaplains 10.35 The Travel Show 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Daily Brunch 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Dr S’avage, Kim, Celine and Tegan desperately try to find out who’s to blame for what happened to Theresa. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. US science-fiction drama series about secret agents at work in the Marvel universe. The team discover murder victims with alien glyphs written on the bodies. 9.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular and topical shows. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. His guests are comedy superstar Lee Evans and singersongwriter George Ezra. 11.05 Toast Of London Sitcom. Toast lands a major role in a big budget movie. But when his American co-star has an accident on set, Toast finds that his own role, playing a villainous rival, has terrifying consequences. 11.40 FILM: White Noise 2: The Light (2007) Starring Nathan Fillion, Katee Sackhoff, Craig Fairbrass, Adrian Holmes. Paranormal sequel. 1.25am FILM: Dance Flick (2009) 2.50 Boss 3.50 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.40 NFL: Rush Zone

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Living On The Edge: Blood In The Sea 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: A Fairytale Christmas (2013) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Maddy uses Roo’s credit card to buy Oscar some new clothes, but he cottons on to her deception. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 World War II In Colour Documentary series bringing the history of the Second World War to life with the aid of the latest research and modern technology. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Reality series. 9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild Documentary series. In this episode, Ben meets two septuagenarian brothers who live out in the wilds of Utah. 10.00 Body Of Proof Drama series. When an escaped prisoner whom she helped to convict asks for Megan’s help to prove his innocence, her efforts to get to the truth put Kate’s political ambitions in jeopardy. 10.55 NCIS: Los Angeles Drama series. When the covert transfer of a terrorist in army custody is compromised, the team must locate the suspect before he flees the country. 11.55 Access A daily round-up of showbiz news and gossip. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Nevada Triangle: The Missing Evidence 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 11.00 Britcam: Emergency On Our Streets 12.00am NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.15 Atlantis 8.00 Motorway Cops 9.00 Extreme Beauty Queens: Secrets Of South America 10.00 Bad Education 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x4) 12.30am Some Girls 1.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 1.30 Bad Education 2.00 Life Is Toff

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Karajan’s Magic And Myth 9.00 The Story Of Funk: One Nation Under A Groove 10.00 The Genius Of Funk 11.00 Prince: Purple Reign 12.00am Synth Britannia At The BBC 1.00 The Story Of Funk: One Nation Under A Groove 2.00 The Genius Of Funk 3.00 Prince: Purple Reign

12.15pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.15 You’ve Been Framed! 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 Celebrity Juice 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x2)

10.35am A Touch Of Frost 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.40 Agatha Christie’s Marple 3.50 Faith In The Future 4.25 French Fields 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Doc Martin 10.00 Doc Martin 11.00 Vicious 11.40 Emmerdale Omnibus 2.20am Movies Now

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Skyline (2010) 10.55 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.50 Tattoos After Dark 12.25am Bad Robots

11.15am SuperScrimpers 11.50 FILM: An Inspector Calls (1954) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Four In A Bed 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Women (2008) 11.15 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 12.50pm Gunman’s Walk (1958) 2.40 Bhowani Junction (1956) 4.55 Von Ryan’s Express (1965) 7.15 Airplane! (1980) 9.00 Vehicle 19 (2013) 10.40 Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987). See highlights. 12.25am Friday The 13th (2009) 2.20 Strange Wilderness (2008)

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SATURDAY 6 The X Factor ITV1, 8pm Only two more Saturdays until a winner is announced! Hasn’t that gone fast? Where are Only The Young and Stevie Ritchie now? Who’s left, and have they really stepped it up enough to keep them in the running for next weekend’s semi-final? And can the judges all be in the same room as each other this far along?

Granny’s Gone Wild Latest TV, 10pm Lynn Ruth Miller’s award-winning cabaret show in half hour chunks kicks off tonight. Having taken the show to the Edinburgh Fringe, wowed the critics and kicked her heels with the cabaret elite, Lynn Ruth’s taking her show on tour to dazzle the masses. And the villagers. Featuring song, dance and comedy numbers. And razzle.

Sherlock BBC3, 9pm Another chance to see Watson fuming at Sherlock when, after two years of being presumed dead and with his death witnessed by his best friend, Sherlock pops up again like an antagonistic weeble. But there’s a huge terrorist threat on London, so personal feelings must be put to one side ... for now.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Noise Reel 9.00 Matchday Breakfast 11.00 Matchday Breakfast 1.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 2.00 Matchday Breakfast 4.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 5.00 Post Feature 5.30 Cook It!

6.00 The Newspapers 6.30 Best Of Brighton Lights 7.00 Brighton Lights A nightly entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 You Make It, We Show It! 8.00 News 8.20 Sport News 8.25 Weather 8.30 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 9.30 Latest News 10.00 Granny’s Gone Wild 10.30 Bookenders 11.00 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 11.30 Bored Gamers 12.30am News 12.50 Sport News 12.55 Weather 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 FilmFest on 8 3.30 Bored Gamers 4.30 News 4.50 Sport News 4.55 Weather 5.00 You Make It, We Show It! 5.30 Under The Radar

BBC1

BBC2

6.05 South East Today 6.10 Pointless Celebrities Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a special celebrity writers edition of the quiz. Featuring Charlie Higson and Rachel Johnson, Robert Harris and Gill Hornby, Jenny Colgan and Benjamin Zephaniah and Danny Wallace and Stuart Maconie. 7.00 Strictly Come Dancing Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman present a night to remember on the Strictly Come Dancing ballroom floor. 8.15 Atlantis Drama series. As plans progress for the royal wedding, Ariadne must undertake a journey to Telemon’s homeland of Aegina. With the kingdom still beset by Colcheans, Jason is not the only one who fears for the queen’s safety. 9.00 Casualty Ash disagrees with Dylan about how to treat a suspected overdose. Cal treats a patient with a large abscess, and Zoe gets annoyed when Cal flirts with her patient. 9.50 The National Lottery Live 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of the day’s seven Premier League games. 11.45 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin introduces drama from all three divisions of the Football League. 12.25am FILM: AWOL: Absent Without Leave (1990) 2.05 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.10 BBC News

6.00 Secrets Of The Castle With Ruth, Peter And Tom The team enter the surprisingly colourful world of medieval interior design. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 Hazel Irvine introduces live coverage as the second semi-final gets underway. A maximum of 11 frames will decide who appears in the final. 10.00 Tomorrow’s Worlds: The Unearthly History Of Science Fiction Dominic Sandbrook continues his exploration of the science fiction genre with a look at its obsession with robots. The idea of playing God and creating artificial life has existed since the earliest days of science fiction. Dominic, leading writers and film-makers follow the story from the first halting steps of Frankenstein’s monster, via the threats of Doctor Who’s Cybermen and the Terminator, the provocative ideas of Blade Runner and Battlestar Galactica. 11.00 Intruders Tunnels beneath Seattle hold the secrets of Qui Reverti, where murderous Madison and anxious Jack edge towards confronting those who have wronged them. 11.45 FILM: Night And The City (1992) Starring Robert De Niro, Jessica Lange, Cliff Gorman. Drama. 1.25am FILM: Beyond The Fire (2009)

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 4.30 Final Score 5.25 Celebrity Mastermind 5.55 BBC News

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Marrying Mum And Dad 8.30 Absolute Genius With Dick And Dom 9.00 Junior MasterChef: 2014 9.30 Junior MasterChef: 2014 10.00 Deadly Pole To Pole: The Complete Journey 10.30 Deadly Pole To Pole: The Complete Journey 11.00 The Blue Planet 12.00pm Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 1.00 The Rockford Files 1.45 FILM: The Great Caruso (1951) 3.30 Flog It! 4.30 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 5.30 Restoring England’s Heritage

ITV1

6.00am The Aquabats! Super Show! 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Pat & Stan 6.40 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures (x2) 7.05 Canimals 7.10 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.15 Sooty 7.25 Mr Bean 7.40 Text Santa: Little Helpers 7.45 The Matt Hatter Chronicles 8.10 Text Santa: Little Helpers 8.15 Horrid Henry 8.30 The Munch Box 9.25 Dinner Date 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.15 News 11.25 Storage Hoarders 12.25pm Countrywise 12.55 Doc Martin 2.00 Keep It In The Family 3.00 FILM: Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (2002) 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill introduces funny home videos filmed by viewers. 7.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special Bradley Walsh hosts another celebrity edition of the hit quiz show. Contestants this time are musician Kian Egan, former swimming champion Sharron Davies, presenter Matt Johnson and actor Larry Lamb. 8.00 The X Factor See highlights. 9.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the jungle survival challenge. Everyone has their eyes on the prize but who will fall at the final hurdle? 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Star-studded chat show. Jonathan’s guests are Call the Midwife star and comedian Miranda Hart, outspoken Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson, and Sherlock and The Hobbit star Martin Freeman. Music is provided by former X Factor star Ella Henderson. 11.40 ITV News; Weather 11.55 FILM: Play Misty For Me (1971) Starring Clint Eastwood, Jessica Walter, Donna Mills. Tense thriller about a radio DJ who becomes the object of a listener’s desire that escalates into a fanatical obsession. 1.40am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

Channel Five

6.05am Great Ethiopian Run 7.00 FIM Superbike World Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Weekend Kitchen 10.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.30 Frasier 10.55 Frasier 11.25 The Big Bang Theory 11.55 The Simpsons 12.20pm Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1.20 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.35 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Bananas In Pyjamas 7.25 Make Way For Noddy 7.35 Paw Patrol 7.50 Little Princess 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Wanda And The Alien 8.40 Zack And Quack 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Jelly Jamm 9.25 LazyTown 9.55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.30 FILM: Santa Junior (2002) 12.15pm FILM: Meet The Santas (2005) 1.55 FILM: Hats Off To Christmas (2013) 3.40 FILM: Mrs Miracle (2009) 5.35 FILM: Noel (2004)

6.00 Come Dine With Me The last host in this festive competition. 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Inside Rolls-Royce Taking a look behind the scenes at the British car brand’s Goodwood factory as they manufacture a vehicle named the Celestial, a bespoke car featuring an interior studded with diamonds. 8.00 FILM: Battleship (2012) Starring Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Liam Neeson. Action movie inspired by the classic naval combat game. American and Japanese fleets prepare to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to thwart their destructive plans. 10.35 FILM: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Starring Harvey Keitel, George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis, Cheech Marin, Salma Hayek. Road movie cum horror film in which two criminal brothers on the run kidnap a family and hide out in a Mexican nightclub, only to discover that the bar’s clientele are vampires. As the number of the undead swells into legions, the diminishing band of survivors prepares for one last, desperate stand. But how many of them will see the morning? 12.40am FILM: The Talented Mr Ripley (1999) 3.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away

7.25 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights Documentary following four UK households as they transform their suburban semis into a glittering festival of Christmas lights. 8.25 5 News Weekend 8.30 Live World Championship Boxing: Ola Afolabi Vs Yoan Pablo Hernandez Boxing. Ola Afolabi, in his third attempt to win a World Cruiserweight title, takes on Yoan Pablo Hernandez, the fasthanded Cuban. The supporting bill will include a fight featuring Liverpool heavyweight David Price. Presented from Oldenburg, Germany by Mark Pougatch and Barry McGuigan. 10.30 FILM: Pale Rider (1985) Starring Clint Eastwood, Carrie Snodgress, Michael Moriarty, Richard Dysart, Richard Kiel. Atmospheric western about a gun-toting preacher who defends a settlement from attack. In the late 1800s, a young girl witnesses a violent attack on a goldmining settlement and prays for a miracle to save the camp and its people. Her prayers seem answered when a stranger arrives and helps the prospectors defend themselves. But his real motives are a mystery. 12.45am SuperCasino 3.10 Gotham 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Angels Of Jarm 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 Angels Of Jarm 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Roary The Racing Car Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.30pm Penguins Of Madagascar Special 2.00 Last Man Standing (x2) 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (x2) 5.00 Portrait Artist Of The Year 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 FILM: Alien 3 (1992) 11.15 A League Of Their Own 12.15am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Sherlock. See highlights. 10.30 Bad Education 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 Family Guy 12.05am Family Guy 12.25 Family Guy 12.50 Family Guy 1.10 Family Guy 1.30 Life Is Toff 2.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 2.30 Some Girls 3.00 Bad Education

7.00pm Ice Age Giants 8.00 Sex And Sensibility: The Allure Of Art Nouveau 9.00 Inspector Montalbano 10.45 Billy Joel: The Bridge To Russia 12.00am Billy Joel Live In Leningrad 1.20 Top Of The Pops: 1979 2.00 Ice Age Giants 3.00 Sex And Sensibility: The Allure Of Art Nouveau

1.00pm Totally You’ve Been Framed! 2.05 FILM: Rumor Has It (2005) 4.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 5.30 FILM: She’s The Man (2006) 7.40 FILM: The Scorpion King (2002) 9.30 The Xtra Factor 10.35 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.35 The X Factor 1.05am The Xtra Factor

6.25am FILM: The Four Musketeers (1974) 8.25 The Royal (x2) 10.30 The Darling Buds Of May (x2) 12.50pm Columbo: Negative Reaction 2.50 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 7.00 Rosemary And Thyme 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.05am Bomb Girls

11.00am Brooklyn NineNine (x2) 12.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 1.00 Melissa & Joey (x4) 3.00 Made In Chelsea 4.00 Rude(ish) Tube (x4) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x6) 9.00 FILM: The Waterboy (1999) 10.50 Rude Tube 11.55 The Inbetweeners (x2) 1.00am How I Met Your Mother (x2)

10.15am FILM: King Kong (1976) 12.55pm Four In A Bed (x5) 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 5.45 The World’s Most Extreme 6.50 UFOs: The Secret Evidence 9.00 Psychopath Night 11.00 Catching A Killer: Crocodile Tears 12.05am The 12-Year-Old Lifer 1.15 Spying On Hitler’s Army

11.00am The Belles Of St Trinian’s (1955) 1.00pm The Hunt For Red October (1990) 3.45 The King And I (1956) 6.25 The Way Back (2010) 9.00 Solomon Kane (2009) 11.05 Heat (1995) 2.20am Shutter (2008) 4.00 Close

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SUNDAY 7 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 BBC2, 7pm It’s the final! And with a maximum of 11 frames and a cheque for £150,000 plus a trophy hanging in the balance, it’s all to play for. Hazel Irvine introduces live coverage from York, and with four hours cleared in the schedule this will be no easy speedy match. Good viewing though.

Remember Me BBC1, 9pm Contemporary ghost story set in Yorkshire. Everybody loves the moors for that spooky feeling down your spine. Brrrr ... so Rob joins Hannah in Scarborough in an effort to save a certain Mr Tom Parfitt from a haunting that’s been going on all of his life. The thing is, will the price be too high for Hannah and her family?

Trollied Sky1, 8.30pm The top class sitcom set in the budget supermarket in the north of England is shaken to its very core by an uncanny coincidence that Rose and Margaret knew each other in a former life. Well, maybe not shaken to its core, but they’re definitely impressed at the coincidence. Small world in retail, eh?

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Newspapers 6.30 The Newspapers 7.00 The Vote 7.30 The Vote 8.00 The Vote 8.30 The Vote 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 The Newspapers 10.30 At The Amex 11.30 Brighton Lights 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 At The Amex 2.30 Best of Brighton Lights 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Growing Concerns 5.30 News 5.50 Sport News 5.55 Weather 6.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 6.30 At The Amex 7.30 Hindsight: The Past That Moves You 8.15 Noise Reel Extra 8.30 News 8.50 Sport News 8.55 Weather 9.00 FilmFest on 8 Presenter Jessica Kellgren-Hayes introduces Latest TV’s very own weekly film festival, a dedicated film night for movies, shorts, and brand new work from filmmakers. 11.00 Noise Reel Extra: Jo Harman 11.15 Noise Reel Extra: Sea City Music 11.30 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 12.00am News 12.20 Sport News 12.25 Weather 12.30 FilmFest on 8 2.30 News 2.50 Sport News 2.55 Weather 3.00 FilmFest on 8 5.00 News 5.20 Sport News 5.25 Weather 5.30 Growing Concerns

BBC1

BBC2

6.10 South East Today 6.20 Countryfile John Craven and Helen Skelton are in East Sussex, where Helen meets the shepherds keeping the old southdown sheep breed alive. 7.20 Strictly Come Dancing Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman present another nail-biting Strictly results show. The judges’ scores and public votes have been combined and the two couples with the lowest scores dance off against each other, before six couples become five. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow The Antiques Roadshow visits Waltham Forest Town Hall in east London, where a lively crowd reveal surprises including a Rolex that James Bond would be proud of, a ring by one of the world’s great jewellers and an old train ticket that is worth a little more than it originally cost. 9.00 Remember Me See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman presents highlights of Sunday’s two Premier League matches, along with a look back at all of Saturday’s action. 11.35 The Apprentice Lord Sugar summons the candidates to tell them their next task. 12.35am FILM: Racing For Time (2008) 2.00 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.05 BBC News

6.00 Match Of The Day – FA Cup Highlights Manish Bhasin introduces highlights from the second round of the FA Cup. It is a massive weekend for the lower-league and non-league sides who have made it through to this stage of the competition. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2014 See highlights. 11.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard offers his unique and quirky take on the week’s global headlines and bizarre news stories. Sifting through over 60 international news channels, 140 newspapers from around the world and over 1,000 news clips, no stone is left unturned in his pursuit of the weird and wonderful stories that have been dominating the press this week. Russell is also joined by a special guest with an amazing story to tell. 11.30 FILM: The British Guide To Showing Off (2011) Starring Brian Eno, Andrew Logan, Zandra Rhodes, Daniel Lismore, Richard O’Brien and Jes Benstock. A portrait of British artist Andrew Logan and his long running glittering spectacular pageant: the Alternative Miss World. This film charts the mounting of the 2009 Show, interwoven with the history of both the event and the artist at its centre. 1.05am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.00 Sign Zone: Holby City

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... Nicholas Parsons 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Bargain Hunt 1.45 FA Cup Final Score 4.20 Songs Of Praise 4.55 Christmas Supermarket Secrets 5.55 BBC News

6.15am Great British Garden Revival 7.15 Countryfile 8.15 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.00 The Football League Show 9.40 50 Golden Years Of Sport On BBC Two 10.40 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12.10pm The A To Z Of TV Cooking 12.55 Snooker: UK Championship 2014

ITV1

6.00am The Aquabats! Super Show! 6.25 Pat & Stan (x2) 6.40 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures (x2) 7.05 Canimals 7.10 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.15 Sooty 7.25 Mr Bean 7.40 Text Santa: Little Helpers 7.45 Ultimate Spider-Man 8.10 Text Santa: Little Helpers 8.15 Horrid Henry 8.30 Big Time Rush 9.00 The Aquabats! Super Show! 9.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal 10.25 Murder, She Wrote 11.25 ITV News 11.35 FILM: Batteries Not Included (1987) 1.30pm All Star Family Fortunes 2.30 The X Factor 4.00 FILM: Apollo 13 (1995) 6.35 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Coronation Street Has Kylie been caught red handed? Kal struggles to control his temper. Luke comes to Maria’s rescue. 8.00 The X Factor Results Dermot O’Leary hosts as the singing competition’s next elimination is announced. The tension will become almost unbearable for the remaining acts as they learn their fate. Who will be going home tonight? There will also be performances from top guest stars. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the jungle survival challenge. They have survived the Bushtucker Trials, jungle life and their fellow celebrities but who will win the ultimate prize as viewers vote for this years King or Queen of the Jungle? 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 FILM: I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry (2007) Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Dan Aykroyd, Ving Rhames. Comedy. Two straight New York firemen hatch a plan to scam extra benefits by entering into a civil partnership together. 12.50am The Store 2.35 Motorsport UK Brands Hatch 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.10am NFL: The American Football Show 7.05 How I Met Your Mother 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 7.55 Frasier 8.30 Small Animal Hospital 9.00 Jamie’s Comfort Food 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The Big Bang Theory 1.00 The Big Bang Theory 1.30 The Big Bang Theory 1.55 The Simpsons 2.25 The Simpsons 2.50 FILM: Stardust (2007) 5.25 FILM: Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992) 7.45 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Billion Pound Base: Dismantling Camp Bastion Documentary. A look at the dismantling of Camp Bastion, the British base built to fight the Taliban in Afghanistan. For eight years it was the powerhouse of UK and US military operations. Now Britain’s biggest overseas base since World War II is closing down for good. 9.00 Homeland Drama. Carrie improvises to salvage her mission. The CIA closes in on a leak. 10.00 FILM: Sinister (2012) Starring Ethan Hawke, Fred Dalton Thompson, James Ransone, Juliet Rylance, Michael Hall D’Addario, Vincent D’Onofrio, Clare Foley, Rob Riley, Tavis Smiley, Janet Zappala, Victoria Leigh, Cameron Ocasio, Ethan Haberfield, Danielle Kotch, Blake Mizrahi and Nicholas King. Supernatural horror. A true-crime writer discovers a box of disturbing old Super 8 films in his attic, which may reveal the secrets of a real-life serial killer. 12.05am Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. His guests are comedy superstar Lee Evans and singersongwriter George Ezra. 1.00 The IT Crowd 1.25 American Football Live 4.45 NFL: Rush Zone 5.10 Win It Cook It 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Bananas In Pyjamas 7.20 Make Way For Noddy 7.30 Paw Patrol 7.45 Little Princess 7.55 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.10 Wanda And The Alien 8.20 Zack And Quack 8.35 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.55 Jelly Jamm 9.10 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 9.45 Access 9.50 Police Interceptors 10.45 Police Interceptors 11.40 Police Interceptors 12.40pm FILM: Dear Santa (2011) 2.30 FILM: Santa Who? (2000) 4.20 FILM: Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006) 6.00 5 News Weekend 6.05 FILM: Where Eagles Dare (1969) Starring Richard Burton, Clint Eastwood, Mary Ure, Michael Hordern. All-action World War II espionage thriller about an elite commando group who are dispatched to rescue an American general held by the Nazis in a castle fortress in the Bavarian Alps. From the moment they parachute behind enemy lines, however, it becomes apparent that they face not only the might of the German army, but also a traitor in 9.00 FILM: Enemies Closer (2013) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Orlando Jones, Tom Everett Scott, Linzey Cocker. Action thriller. In a forest on the US-Canadian border, two arch enemies are forced to work together to escape from a dangerous drug cartel who are on the lookout for a shipment of drugs which went missing there. 10.45 FILM: The Shepherd (2008) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Explosive thriller in which a former homicide detective becomes a US border patrol agent and must singlehandedly thwart a drug cartel attempting to bring $35million-worth of heroin into the country. 12.35am Campus PD 1.05 SuperCasino 3.10 The Gadget Show 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Angels Of Jarm (x3) 5.40 Roary The Racing Car (x2) Victoria Nangle

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1.00pm Last Man Standing (x2) 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (x2) 4.00 Futurama 4.30 The Simpsons (x4) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Flash 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Trollied. See highlights. 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 7.10 Great TV Mistakes 7.40 FILM: Armageddon (1998) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Some Girls 12.00am Sweat The Small Stuff 12.30 Life Is Toff 1.00 Comedy Fest Live 2.00 Extreme Beauty Queens: Secrets Of South America 3.00 Some Girls

7.00pm The Great War 7.40 Britain’s Wild Places (x2) 8.00 The Day Of The Triffids (x2) 9.00 Imagine... Rod Stewart: Can’t Stop Me Now 10.25 Foo Fighters: Sonic Highways 11.25 Foo Fighters: Sonic Highways 12.25am The Story Of Funk: One Nation Under A Groove 1.25 The Genius Of Funk

4.30pm I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 5.40 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 8.00 Scorpion 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 You’ve Been Framed! 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.35 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 1.20am Two And A Half Men (x2) 2.10 The Vampire Diaries

6.00am World Kitchen 6.25 FILM: The Nun’s Story (1959) 9.25 Heartbeat 10.30 Heartbeat 11.30 A Touch Of Frost 1.35pm Rosemary And Thyme 2.35 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.40 Columbo: Troubled Waters 6.45 Inspector Morse 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker (x2) 1.10am William And Mary

12.30pm Made In Chelsea 1.35 Melissa & Joey 2.00 FILM: First Daughter (2004) 4.15 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts 4.30 The Big Bang Theory (x7) 8.00 FILM: Step Up 2: The Streets (2008) 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.10 Bad Robots 11.40 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 12.40am Rules Of Engagement (x2)

12.05pm Jamie’s Family Christmas (x3) 1.40 Car S.O.S 2.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me: Celebrity Christmas Special (x5) 8.00 The Year Britain Froze 9.00 World’s Worst Natural Disasters 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.15am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.15 Worst Natural Disasters

11.00am Merrill’s Marauders (1962) 1.00pm Rat Race (2001) 3.10 Passport To Pimlico (1949) 4.55 The Nativity Story (2006) 6.55 Big (1988) 9.00 This Means War (2012) 10.55 Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) 1.00am No (2012) 3.25 Close

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MONDAY 8 Wild Weather With Richard Hammond BBC1, 9pm Can you see him? Are you sure it’s actually the Hamster in there and not just some stunt presenter wrapped up in Kenny from South Park’s parka? Well, if you’re sure... This week Richard is investigating the crucial role water plays in our weather systems. Looks like rain...

Gotham Channel Five, 9pm It’s hard to find an honest man in Gotham, so when two of them turn up they’re bound to gravitate towards each other like jam to the kitchen floor (we’ve all rushed breakfast). Gordon and a young Harvey Dent join forces to try and close the Wayne murder case, much to the annoyance of the mayor.

Arrow Sky1, 10pm What is it with billionaire playboys wanting to fight crime? Richard Branson only tried to break world records in hot air balloons – maybe it’s an American thing? Anyway, this green crusader has his gang of helpers too, which is just as well as trouble arrives for Ted with a dead body at Wildcat gym.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 You Make It, We Show It! 9.00 The Newspapers 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00pm At The Amex 1.00 The Vote 1.30 The Newspapers 2.00 The Newspapers 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis

6.00 News The latest local news plus national updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing Mike Mendoza presents his entertainment show. 7.00 Best of Brighton Lights 7.30 News 7.50 Sport News 7.55 Weather 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Exceptional Homes 9.00 Cook It! Andrew Kay’s weekly ‘how to’ cookery programme. Sourcing local, good value, seasonal produce and with guest chefs. 9.30 Ordinary Lives: Under The Same Roof 10.00 Hindsight: The Shorts 10.15 Hindsight: The Shorts 10.30 News 10.50 Sport News 10.55 Weather 11.00 Bored Gamers 12.00am News 12.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 1.00 Best of Brighton Lights 1.30 News 1.50 Sport News 1.55 Weather 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Exceptional Homes 3.00 Cook It! 3.30 Ordinary Lives: Under The Same Roof 4.00 Hindsight: The Shorts 4.15 Hindsight: The Shorts 4.30 News 5.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Claimed And Shamed 11.30 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.40 Christmas Kitchen With James Martin 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Fake Britain Matt Allwright investigates the conmen who are trying to get their hands on your money by using fakes, forgeries and frauds and shows you how to avoid being taken for a ride. 8.00 EastEnders With the truth out, Sonia finally opens up and talks to Martin about how she really feels. 8.30 Domestic Abuse: Caught On Camera - Panorama Panorama reveals harrowing footage and other evidence of domestic violence incidents that now account for a third of all recorded assaults with injury in England and Wales. 9.00 Wild Weather With Richard Hammond See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the popular satirical news quiz with captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Jack Dee and panellists Joan Bakewell and Mark Watson. 11.20 Citizen Khan Sitcom following the trials and tribulations of selfappointed Muslim community leader. 11.50 The Graham Norton Show Chat show. 12.35am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.40 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Claimed And Shamed 7.35 Channel Patrol 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 10.05 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Food Map Of Britain 1.10 The Blue Planet 2.10 The Great British Bake Off 3.10 A Place To Call Home 3.55 The World’s Most Photographed: Elvis Presley 4.25 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 5.25 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents backstage gossip and behind-thescenes action from the weekend. 7.00 FA Cup 3rd Round Draw Live coverage of the draw for the third round of the FA Cup. 7.30 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes Chef Tom Kerridge shows how to cook the best ever versions of the food everyone loves to eat. 8.00 University Challenge Two more student teams fight it out to get through to the quarter-final stage of the competition. 8.30 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell. 9.00 Posh People: Inside Tatler Documentary which goes behind the scenes at Tatler. Features editor Sophia Money-Coutts travels from castle to castle in Scotland to find out what the toffs there think of Scottish Independence. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic pop quiz. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Great Continental Railway Journeys Michael Portillo explores a Spain. 12.20am Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.20 Sign Zone: Wonders Of The Monsoon 4.00 The Genius Of Invention 4.30 The Genius Of Invention - Learning Zone 5.00 Counting With Rodd

ITV1

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Christmas With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle’s art is sabotaged. Aaron uses Finn to his advantage. 7.30 The Royal Variety Performance Michael McIntyre hosts this year’s Royal Variety Performance from the London Palladium in the presence of TRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The star studded line up includes special performances from Bette Midler, Ed Sheeran, One Direction, Dame Shirley Bassey, Demi Lovato, Alfie Boe, Ellie Goulding, McBusted, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Simply Red and Britain’s Got Talent winners Collabro. The cast of legendary West End musical Miss Saigon perform an exclusive excerpt from the show, and the spectacular circus of La Soiree take to the stage. 10.15 ITV News; Weather 10.55 The Agenda ITV News political editor Tom Bradby is joined by big names from government, news and entertainment to take a fresh look at the week ahead. 11.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Star-studded chat show. Jonathan’s guests are Miranda Hart, Jeremy Clarkson, and Martin Freeman. Music is provided by former X Factor star Ella Henderson. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Kirstie’s Vintage Christmas 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste returns to the village and is immediately suspicious of Lockie and John Paul. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Jamie’s Cracking Christmas Chef Jamie Oliver demonstrates how to prepare a number of festive dishes, including beef Wellington, chocolate and marmalade panettone bread and butter tart, steamed goose buns, Christmas cocktails and roast goose with all the trimmings. 9.00 Skint Observational documentary series following residents of the East Marsh area of Grimsby who are living with the effects of long-term unemployment. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson select their favourite bits from the last series of the topical panel show. 10.35 Toast Of London Sitcom. An old flame of Toast’s, Lorna Wynde, turns up in London. He has not seen her since they starred in an American soap opera in the 80s, and their relationship ended badly. 11.00 Confessions Of A Teacher 12.00am NFL: The American Football Show 12.55 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic 1.50 FILM: The Undefeated (1969) 3.45 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.25 FILM: Mrs Miracle (2009) 1.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 FILM: The Christmas Card (2006) 3.30 FILM: Mistletoe Over Manhattan (2011) 5.20 Chinese Food In Minutes 5.30 5 News 6.00 Home And Away Worried that Andy is a suspect in Jake’s murder, Josh secretly goes to the police station and gives him a false alibi. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Action-packed consumer show showcasing the latest technology, presented by Ortis Deley, Jason Bradbury, Jon Bentley and Amy Williams. In this episode, Jason is off to Amazon to get an access-all-areas pass and find out how the UK’s biggest online shop functions during the run-up to Christmas. 8.00 Who Killed Tutankhamun? Investigation into the ancient mystery surrounding the death of Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamun. With the aid of leading archaeologists, two FBI detectives use the latest forensic technology to retrace the life of the young king and piece together the puzzle of his death. 9.00 Gotham See highlights. 10.00 Greatest 80s Movies Countdown show looking at the cinematic triumphs of the 1980s, from ET to Ghostbusters to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Contributors include Corey Feldman, Christopher Lloyd and Judd Nelson. 1.00am SuperCasino 3.10 The UK’s Strongest Man 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

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1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Trollied 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.00 Arrow. See highlights. 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride (x3) 10.00 Some Girls 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Some Girls 1.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 2.30 The Human Tissue Squad 3.30 Some Girls

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 London: A Tale Of Two Cities With Dan Cruickshank 9.00 Captain Cook: The Man Behind The Legend 10.00 Castles: Britain’s Fortified History 11.00 Tales From The Royal Bedchamber 12.00am Sounds Of The 70s 2 12.30 Puppy Love

12.15pm Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation Street (x2) 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! 6.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 8.00 I’m A Celeb: Epic Trials 9.00 FILM: Hot Fuzz (2007) 11.25 Two And A Half Men (x4) 1.20am Fake Reaction 1.55 Life’s Funniest Moments

9.55am Judge Judy (x3) 11.10 A Touch Of Frost 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.15 Faith In The Future 4.45 French Fields 5.20 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Bouquet Of Barbed Wire 11.00 The Vice 12.10am A Touch Of Frost

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Made In Chelsea 10.00 Rude Tube 11.10 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am How I Met Your Mother

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Jimmy’s Grow Your Own Christmas Dinner 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Car S.O.S 10.00 The World’s Most Extreme 11.00 Fatal Flight 447: Chaos In The Cockpit 12.10am Embarrassing Fat Bodies

11.00am The Spy In Black (1939) 12.40pm The ThirtyNine Steps (1978) 2.45 Dallas (1950) 4.40 Millions Like Us (1943) 6.45 Runaway Bride (1999) 9.00 The A-Team (2010) 11.15 The Happening (2008) 1.05am Our Children (2012) 3.25 Close