Latest 7: No. 708 by Latest Homes

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★ ALBION ★ NEWS ★ FOOD & DRINK ★ ENTERTAINMENT ★ TV GUIDE ★ 9 – 15 December 2014

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EDITOR’S NOTE

“

You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes. There’s more gravy than of grave about you.” The immortal words of beloved Victorian novelist Charles Dickens? Well yes. Sort of. Although think Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge in Brian Henson’s glorious (subjective opinion) The Muppet Christmas Carol, and you’re closer to the mark. This time last year I was huddled, front row centre, in the Duke of York’s cinema scrunching sweet wrappers, quoting out loud and singing along to every musical interlude. I think the six year old under my care sitting next to me had an alright time, too. She indulged my regression session, and even took my sweets away when the sugar high threatened to render me a reckless and irresponsible babysitter. Christmas is about caring, after all. There’s huge joy to be found in reciprocity;

doing something for someone else that ultimately makes you happy, too. Speaking of which, the charity Friends of the Elderly have launched their ‘Be A Friend’ campaign, and what better time to offer a little compassion to an elderly neighbour or someone in need than Christmastime, eh? Visit www.beafriendtoday.org.uk to find out more, and sign up. Is it obvious that we’re riddled with festive cheer at L-HQ yet? Fear not, we haven’t forgotten to keep you informed of Brighton’s newest, latest, finest and most crucial goings-on, and we’ve a magazine full of news and commentary to prove it. Delve in. Louise Bevan, Editor Note: We spelled Alex Binnie’s name incorrectly in the ink_d gallery feature of last week’s issue and we’d like to apologise – sorry, Alex! Email your comments to editorial@thelatest.co.uk or visit us online at thelatest.co.uk

> 9 – 15 DECEMBER 2014 04 Bare Cheek Saint Nick is compiling his Christmas gift list 05 Latest People Zoella’s YouTube success; Lewes bakery The Hearth wins award 06 Latest News Headlines with Frank le Duc, Tim Ridgway, and B&H City Council leader Jason Kitcat 09 Latest Sport Scoring goals for the local team 10 Brighton Lights Lynn Ruth Miller, Richard and Guy share musings from the week gone by 13 House of Hoye A jewellery feast from renowned Brighton designer Jeremy Hoye 15 Kay Town Can someone please sort out train fares?! 15 Competitions Win tickets to Krater Comedy Club’s NYE bash 17 Reviews; Brighton Writes What’s on, and what we think; Stephen Quinn discovers Kaiken winery 19 Hotlist Restaurants, cafes and takeaway listings

21 Cook It! Andrew Kay is all Thai’d up at Green Mango 22 Entertainment News What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music in your city

13 Monday 15 December 2014 Have A Word: LGBTQI arts, performance, spoken word and music event, supporting The Sussex Beacon Doors 7pm, £6

LATEST 7/HOMES

Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Latest Homes Commercial Manager Patrick Kneath

Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Advertising Manager Rachel Simm Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Jason Weaver Kyle Moon

Editor Louise Bevan Sub Editor Laura Gooch Staff writers Jo Brooks Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller

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26 Brighton Writes The Bored Gamers solve your Christmas present giving woes; Dr Caroline Oprandi’s students prepare for their Christmas fair

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BARE CHEEK Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

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ASK SAINT NICK ood day, ladies and gentlemen. Well, it's that time of the year again, seems to come around quicker every year. So, kiddies, tell me what you're after, and I'll do my best to provide it ...

Dear Saint Nick, Please can I have a Stampy Longnose plush figure and also a Stampy T-shirt? Thank you. Ben Popper (age 11), Hanover. Saint Nick says: Er, well Ben, you could have those things if I had even the tiniest scintilla of an idea of who or what this ‘Stampy Bignose’ bloke is. Dear Saint Nick, He's a YouTube celebrity who has become famous for his videos in

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releasing albums and composing film scores when all along I could have sat on my arse playing video games, laughing like an idiot, and waiting for the money to roll in. Dear Saint Nick, Er ... okay, but can I have the plush figure and T-shirt please? Ben Popper (age 11), Hanover. Saint Nick says: Are you sure you wouldn't rather have something more sensible, mate? Like a copy of my acclaimed 2013 album ‘Push The Sky Away’? (It got five stars in the Guardian Guide.) Or a DVD of my movie ‘20,000 Days on Earth’?

which he plays Minecraft. Ben Popper (age 11), Hanover. Saint Nick says: Nah, come on, be serious mate. Who is he really? Dear Saint Nick, Honestly – he plays Minecraft on YouTube. Millions of people watch him and he's become a millionaire. Me and my mates love him. Ben Popper (age 11), Hanover. Saint Nick says: Well, I can see I've wasted my life bothering to learn to play the guitar and piano, and bloody well rehearsing and writing songs and

Dear Saint Nick, Look, just give me the bleeding Stampy stuff okay, grandad! Ben Popper (age 11), Hanover. Saint Nick says: Fine, have the bloody Stampy stuff, but don't come crying to me in six month's time when nobody's heard of this Stampy bloke and you can't even sell your memorabilia on eBay. Ahem, well I'm off for a calming mince pie with brandy butter. See you in the funny papers. Nick XXX

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In&Out SPECIAL ‘FORGOTTEN CHARITY SINGLES’ EDITION

In • Let It Be (Ferry Aid) • You'll Never Walk Alone (Bradford City fire) • Everybody Wants To Run The World (Sport Aid) • Ferry Cross The Mersey (Hillsborough) • With A Little Help From My Friends (ChildLine)

Out • The Stonk (Comic Relief) • Suicide Is Painless (SCOPE) • Running All Over The World (Sport Aid) • Use It Up And Wear It Out (Help a London Child) • Do They Know It's Christmas? (Band Aid II)

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005_LS708_latest people_011_LS466_interview 03/12/2014 16:58 Page 1

PEOPLE

YouTube sensation Zoella’s rising star; Lewes Bakery The Hearth wins local accolade

ZOELLA CREATES A YOUTUBE VLOGGING STORM Brighton-based Zoe Sugg, AKA ‘Zoella’, is an internet sensation who has redefined what it means to be a vlogger. Zoe’s blog started out in 2009 in her bedroom as a hobby intended to inject some creativity into her free time, posting make-up reviews, hair tutorials and articles on Fashion Week. Graduating to YouTube within a year, Zoella has never shied away from offering fans personal glimpses into her life along the way, with regular slots with boyfriend Alfie and posts about her anxiety. “Having a place to talk about my anxiety has really helped me,” she admits. “I like to push myself and do things outside my comfort zone.” Sharing personal problems as well as practical insights, Zoe is accessible, chatty ... and wildly popular. By December 2013 she’d managed to hit the 3m follower mark. Today, her success has made her the most popular beauty vlogger in the UK. She has 8.5m subscribers – more than One Direction and Coldplay put together – and in October, she was named the top-ranking Brit in the Times’ Top 20 Under 30 YouTube stars. She’s now a celebrity in her own right, gracing the cover of magazines and launching her own bath and beauty range, plus was recently nominated for the Game Changer Award at Cosmopolitan Magazine's ‘Ultimate Women of the Year Awards’, held on 3 December at One Mayfair, London. “I still have to pinch myself sometimes,” giggles Zoe.

LOCAL RESTAURANT & BAKEHOUSE WINS PRODUCER OF THE YEAR AWARD Lewes bakery and restaurant, The Hearth, was awarded the Local Producer of the Year Award at The County Town Dinner & Fatstock Celebration, held at Lewes Town Hall on 26 November 2014. “It’s absolutely fantastic to win this award – a real feather in the cap for the whole team at the Hearth,” said Michael Hanson, Master Baker & Owner. He added; “We endeavour to work in partnership with other local companies and suppliers, and are currently working with Harveys Brewery in producing a range of Heritage Mince Pies using their Christmas Ale. They’ve just won a Mince Pie Challenge, with judging from, amongst others, Great British Bake Off’s, Kate Henry. A testament to our baking ... and Harveys brewing!” For more information on the Mince Pie Challenge, visit tinyurl.com/MINCE-PIE-CHALLENGE-results

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LATEST BRIGHTON & HOVE NEWS

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat Money spent with small local retailers is worth many times more to the local economy. Whether it goes to wages for local people or to contracts with local suppliers, it is reinvested in the community by shop-owners. In contrast some research suggests that 95% of money spent in larger chain shops is siphoned away from our local economy. This weekend’s annual Small Business Saturday UK is a timely reminder of the value small independent businesses bring to our city. There’s a huge range of events and promotions on, including a ‘Stamp’n Win’ competition organised by the Hove Business Association. Customers can collect stamps from retailers in Hove and enter into a draw for a cash prize. The council is contributing helpers to hand out city maps at train stations, directing visitors to clusters of independent retailers in London Road, Boundary Road (Portslade), George Street, the new West Pier Arches, The Lanes and North Laine. This complements work we do year-round to support smaller shops. This summer, we opened 10 new independent retail units in refurbished seafront arches near the West Pier, and saw the launch of the rebuilt Open Market on London Road. Meanwhile, the ‘Ride the Wave’ programme helps smaller businesses weather the recession, and the ‘Dressed for Success’ scheme offers shops free training on making the most of their Christmas window displays. There are discounts on business rate for smaller businesses moving into long term empty premises, and vouchers of up to £3,000 are available for the cost of installing higher-speed broadband connections. Brighton & Hove’s independent shops and businesses are key to attracting the 9 million visitors we receive every year. So it’s essential that we celebrate the value of buying local not just on 7 December but every day of the year.

FRANK LE DUC

THE VOTE

Children are being put in a vulnerable position by the very experts meant to help them, says a health watchdog

ome troubled children in Brighton and Hove are being put in a vulnerable position by the very experts who are meant to help them, according to an independent watchdog. Healthwatch Brighton and Hove has spent time gathering evidence from some of those youngsters, from parents and carers and from local charities about the situation. It is not the first local organisation to flag up concerns about the local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS). A Brighton and Hove City Council scrutiny panel presented measured but critical findings earlier this year. Its report spoke of “harrowing stories” and “appalling experiences”. The latest report said: “Over the past year Healthwatch Brighton and Hove has been hearing talk of dissatisfaction and frustration from parents, young people and voluntary and community sector organisations about the local CAMHS service which has led us to look into it in more detail. “While a range of statutory organisations were aware that there were some concerns about CAMHS, there seemed to be a lack of an in-depth knowledge about specific issues and how they could

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be improved. For this reason, Healthwatch Brighton and Hove has gathered a range of recent research from public and third sector organisations and reviewed their themes to create a clear overview of issues and suggestions for improvements. “Throughout we have also included the voices of young people and those who support them on a range of key subjects.” Healthwatch said: “This report shows that the complexity of the service and lack of information is putting young people in a vulnerable position. Young people and their carers have said that they did not know what they could expect from CAMHS, what their rights were within the service or where they could go to for extra support in a crisis situation. “In addition, due to the

It was felt that some GPs had little understanding of autism and mental health complex relationships between local CAMHS organisations, some people have experienced multiple diagnoses or not been informed about their diagnosis at all. “The report also revealed that some GPs are confused about the referral pathways and where to send young people once they near the age of transition between services. This could result in some

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young people never reaching the services they need to contact. It was also felt that some GPs had little understanding of autism and mental health, which made referrals and diagnosis more challenging. “Not only have young people found it difficult to engage with CAMHS, but parents have also often reported feeling blamed for their children’s behaviour and condition through general staff attitudes towards them or because they were asked to complete a parenting skills course. They were also labelled by CAMHS staff as being over-protective or attention-seeking. “With local A&E waiting times under pressure and other resources such as the Sussex Mental Healthline orientated around adult mental health and signposting, some parents felt that they did not know where to turn when there was an emergency.” Frances McCabe, who chairs Healthwatch Brighton and Hove, said: “Identifying and supporting troubled children is the top priority for families and society. That the services do not succeed for so many children and young people is not acceptable. Delays, drift and diagnostic problems in young lives lead not only to great distress for the child and their family, but can affect their whole life in the future. When CAMHS services succeeded, children’s lives were transformed.” Healthwatch has shared its recommendations with the council and the Brighton and Hove Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG). The CCG said that it was taking stock. This comes against the backdrop of an inquiry by MPs into shortcomings in CAMHS across the country. The CCG said: “Over the next three years we intend to work with key stakeholders to improve the model of care for children and young people.” The GP-led health commissioners said that it would review feedback from young people and their families about the service, assess local needs and work out a better way of working. In its report, Healthwatch thanked three local organisations, Mind, Amaze and Mascot, who all raised issues. One test will be whether they are still raising the same sort of issues in the years ahead.

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TIM RIDGWAY

LATEST NEWS

MAKING A SPLASH Thirty of Worthing’s best local swimmers created a splash as they were honoured. Specially-selected

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Marina Life Kirsty Pollard: Jimmy's Restaurant has arrived ...

This week’s headlines from across the city from 1,500 active Aquaschool members at the Aquarena, the winners had to show they were top of the class. But this was not just because they’re fastest or have the best technique – it required enthusiasm and great sportsmanship too. Several swimmers battled to overcome their fear of water to become proficient swimmers and well-deserved award-winners. So well done to all. GRAND DESIGNS Is there finally an end in sight to the Black Rock saga? For decades the site has sat empty with proposal after proposal falling through. But now Brighton and Hove City Council is in discussion with Standard Life to create a new Brighton Centre at the land near the marina. The £450 million scheme will then see an expansion of Churchill Square shopping centre. At the moment it's still early days. But the general feeling as councillors prepare to discuss the plan is positive that something can be done at last for this seafront eyesore. ENTRY FEE As part of a plan to save more than £20 million in the next year, Brighton and Hove City Council has recommended charging £5 entry to Brighton Museum. The fee, which would be charged to non-residents, is expected to save £200,000 a year. This is despite the council admitting that it will reduce visitor numbers by up to 75%. The proposal was discussed at a town hall meeting last week. A decision will be made when the budget is set in February. FESTIVAL PLANS Organisers behind some of the country’s biggest music festivals are hoping to bring their next venture to Sussex. SJM Concerts, the promoters behind V-Festival,

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are looking to hold events at Shoreham Airport for up to 70,000 people. If approved, it would be one of the biggest events in the

county. And with a pedigree of attracting acts like One Direction, The Stone Roses and Jessie J, whatever's planned is sure to be a hot ticket. MAKING HISTORY Ten couples are set to make history tomorrow (Wednesday) when they are married at the same time. From 10 December, those in civil partnerships will be allowed to convert their union into marriage. It comes after the government's same sex marriage act came into force earlier this year. To mark the occasion, Brighton and Hove City Council will oversee the conversion of ten civil partnerships at 10am on the tenth. And the Latest TV cameras will go along to get the momentous occasion on camera.

HOME OUR HENS It's now two weeks after we launched our Home Our Hens campaign – and so far it's been a big success. We've been lending a hand to Sue Baumgardt, an animal rights campaigner from Hove, who wants to save 6,000 birds from the slaughter house. So far we've found homes for more than 5,000. But with three hundred birds without a home, we still need your help. If you want to take a few hens, please call Sue on 01273 885750 or email news@thelatest.tv. BE A FRIEND Christmas is just around the corner. And national charity Friends of the Elderly is today calling on people to Be a Friend and reach out to the half a million older people who will spend Christmas alone this year. The charity hopes to inspire people in every town, village and city across the county to get into the spirit of Christmas and Be a Friend throughout the festive season, and all year round. For more details visit www.beafriendtoday.org.uk.

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f you could eat anything in the world right now, what would it be? Would it be Mexican or perhaps Chinese food? How about a classic Italian or a hearty Indian? What if all of the above were an option? The World Buffet at Jimmy’s Restaurant invites customers to sample fine cuisine from around the globe, all under one roof. Based in Mermaid Walk, Brighton Marina, this new restaurant is thought to be the biggest restaurant in the city with a capacity to host 500 guests – ideal for any social gathering or quiet get-together. From freshly baked Italian pizza cooked at the live pizzeria station to Mexican tacos topped with delicious fillings, Jimmy’s Restaurant delivers customers a taste sensation from around the world. With fine cuisine originating from all corners of the globe, Jimmy’s Restaurant prides itself on its reputation for creating fresh and authentic dishes from Italy, India, Mexico, China, Japan and Thailand – plus a taste of the Deep South USA. Exclusive only to Jimmy’s Restaurant is the grilled seafood station. The fish, like all their ingredients, is fresh and exhilarating. Jimmy’s Restaurant is the perfect location for any occasion and for all its customers, with free parking in the MSCP (time limits apply). All the variety without compromising quality, the experience is a thrilling one every single time.

Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager: kirsty.pollard@x-leisure.co.uk www.brightonmarina.co.uk

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009_LS708_sport_011_LS466_interview 05/12/2014 12:21 Page 3

Get sásta Improve fitness, strength ... and morale! anowars 17 point win over Crumlin came just four short weeks after their one point loss against the same team. The same players took to the field, but yet the result was so different – they put it down to their additional training in sásta Drogheda. The team had improved substantially from last year, but as the season was coming to an end a few results went against them, leaving them in the unwanted position of possible relegation in the league. Players were disheartened as they could not justify their results against the level of commitment they had put in during the year – maybe they were just stale and tired? The manager decided to try something different with potential to improve fitness, strength and overall team morale ... sásta! Twenty-three players attended up to six sessions in the studio and were challenged to

L–R: Dick Knight, Jules Breach, Ian Hart

A STERLING DEBUT

Jules Breach has the latest news, gossip and sporting banter from behind-the-scenes of Latest Sport ey sports fans! We are now fully immersed in December and I think it's fair to say that most of us are feeling the Christmas spirit! If you aren't, then bah humbug to you! I visited Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland last week, and it was an absolute festive feast of fun and frolicking and yummy food. It was a bit of a work out, too. All that walking, and lifting my arm back and forth from my mouth to feed myself copious amounts of mulled wine. My bicep (non plural), is looking good this week. In terms of our local sport, we all got a bit excited a couple weeks ago with the arrival of Darren Bent on loan from Aston Villa. The out and out goal scorer also seemed thrilled to be playing for the Albion, saying in his very first interview with the club that we play “like a premier league side”. He didn't let the fans down either.

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He made a sterling debut by netting his first goal for the club shortly after half time in the match against Fulham. Unfortunately, it was just one of those days for us. Bent's former club got extremely lucky late on with a deflection that saw them walk away with three points. I personally felt hard done by with that one. I was at the game and there were plenty bums on seats supporting our boys, and the crowd all seemed positive prior to the match. Just a shame we yet again didn't get the result we deserved. Our next game at The Amex sees us facing Millwall in an evening kick off on Friday 12 December. Notorious for a bit of a rowdy crowd, let's hope it's not only a safe match, but a match where we can go away with a few goals and a few points. Three to be precise. Pre the meeting we had with Fulham, we had a great day on the Matchday Breakfast sofa with on Freeview channel 8,

guests including Dick Knight, Ian Hart, Gareth Davis and Andy DelbyWelsh. Getting life long president of Brighton and Hove Albion, Dick Knight, on the show, was a real privilege and it was so interesting to hear his thoughts on the current squad and management, but also the stories from history that him and Harty reflected upon. Dick approved of the appointment of Bent, but was disappointed that Craig Mackail Smith has gone back to Peterborough. He thought like we did, that they would have partnered up well, but that obviously wasn't to be. Don't miss Matchday Breakfast every Saturday where we always feature great sporting guests and have a bit of a giggle too, from 9–11am, and then repeated straight after from 11am–1pm (for those of you that like a lie in). Til Next week sports fans! xx

Follow me: @julesysowa

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complete an ‘Athlete’ programme by the end of their three weeks. It was completely out of their comfort zone and seemed impossible after the first session, but this team had no fear of commitment and got the sásta bug, making them adamant to try and beat the POD. Over the sessions the competition grew to see who was the top performer; players stayed in the studio supporting and encouraging each other to do the impossible – and they did. Collectively, the teams dropped 57.5% body fat, gained 115lbs of muscle, lost 92lbs fat mass and decreased their metabolic age by 19 years. Visceral fat dropped, their average distance covered on the pod in 30 minutes increased by 1.5km average per player, but most importantly, they took the challenge, embraced it and overcame it. Not only did their fitness and body strength improve but their mental strength and self belief sky rocketed. By overcoming the obstacle of the POD they knew they had the capabilities to overcome the game. sásta Fitness, Unit 8 Mermaid Walk, The Waterfront, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA

010-011_LS708_brighton lights_LR_GL_011_LS466_interview 04/12/2014 12:22 Page 2

L7 BRIGHTON LIGHTS

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WHAT’S IN A NAME Lynn Ruth Miller on the tough game of naming e aren’t naming our babies George anymore. Evidently, parents don’t want to saddle their children with names that imply delusions of royalty. Instead of naming our little boys nice solid names like George, William or Harry, we are turning to something more exotic like Mohammed, or Elijah. I think that is a huge mistake. A very young child can manage to spell George or Harry easily enough, but what is he to do when he has to remember how many em’s, and where the a’s and the e’s go in a name like Mohammed? The challenge is even greater for the little guy if his parents go further and opt for Ibrahim or Corinthian. Girls fare no better with the top name of the year: Sophia. You have to be pretty mature to understand that p and h together make f. And worse, the i in that name sounds like an e. That is a lot of remembering to expect from a little 4-year-old maiden trying to spell her name for her teacher. The truth is that simple names sound much more solid and reliable. You can trust a guy named Bill and you KNOW you can count on a Jane or a Mary. I have found that people often adopt the characteristics implied by their names. If I have a friend named Lucretia, I know she is going to be all over the place with so many syllables and letter combinations … a frivolous, unreliable person who forces you to think before you address an email to her. I personally love the name George, and I think Kate and William had the right idea when they christened their little prince. When I envision a George, I see a no frills, honest, down-to-earth guy I can trust; just the kind of qualities women look for in a partner, and bosses want in their interns. No doubt about it, you name your child George and everyone will believe in his integrity and look up to him before they even meet him. A name like George reeks of authority. It gives you a feeling of security. A guy named George could very well end up a king. Mohammed, or Elijah? Perhaps not so much. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” – William Shakespeare

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LYNN RUTH MILLER

Kate and William had the right idea when they christened their little prince

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RECORD BREAKERS

Richard Shayler is perhaps a little smug ... but with good cause to be

e broke a record this week. We smashed it to smithereens. We laughed in the face of the old record. Laughed in disbelief that we could be so naive to think it couldn’t be broken. Lynn, Guy and I filmed not one, not two, not three ... but ten video packages this week! Ten lovely stories of happenings in and around Brighton, for all you dear viewers to enjoy. We’ve always been good to you, but this week Christmas has surely come early. To start, Guy and I visited a very special group of people at The Emporium. They are the people behind the ‘Happy Café’, the first of its kind in the country. We learnt all about the ten steps to happiness and what it really means to be truly happy.

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This was good for Guy because he was quite unhappy – he unfortunately supports Tottenham Hotspur and apparently they are doing very badly in the Premier League. They’ve seen lots of defeats, very few goals and rubbish performances. I spoke to Stan from the café and he told me Guy has been in there every day ever since. Sometimes crying, sometimes not. To cheer him up, I thought it would be a good idea to visit the Brighton Toy and Model Museum. He came in teary-eyed, readers, and left with the biggest smile on his face. We learnt all about trains and models and aeroplanes … and teddy bears! The museum allegedly has the largest collection of model trains in the entire world. The whole experience was fantastic. Guy, again, is still there. Juice FM is very concerned … Lynn and I have also been busy.

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Brighton Lights every night on Latest tv… Brighton Lights every night on Latest tv… Brighton Lights every night on Latest tv…

We attended an art installation above Vine Street Studios with the fantastic Cassette Lord. He’d setup the exhibition with some of his artist chums. Lynn and I spoke to a fantastic series of artists exhibiting; we spoke to a ceramist who designs lamp shades, a photographer who makes pieces with physical cameras and lights, and of course Martin Middleton. (He’s the Cassette Lord!) Then, from art on paper, we went to art on stage. Lynn was performing at an event to raise money for World Aids Day at Proud Cabaret in London. It was set-up by choreographer Wilmot Mulley, and what a fantastic show it was. Lots of scantily clad women ... and that was just Lynn’s performance! Keep your eyes peeled for all these amazing video inserts and plenty more besides. This week on the show we’ve got Paul L. Martin talking panto, and Julie Jepson talking comedy. Dr. David Bramwell talks books and Sam Savage makes us laugh. David Deaves, from La Cave a Fromage, stopped by to talk cheese, and Paul C. Burr tells us all about love. Mark Brailsford lets us know how his brand new comedy venue is doing and Rha Stranges provides us with music. We’re on Wednesday to Saturday at 7pm, on Freeview Channel 8, Virgin Median Channel 159 and live online @ www.thelatest.tv. Come on people, we want to break another record … our viewing figures!

THE PERFECT COMBINATION Guy Lloyd on the fine art of courting celebrities ... from afar actually come close to knocking Lily Allen off the top spot. It wasn’t love at first sight by any means. I think I was a bit annoyed by her in the early days. Then she disappeared for a while after the first album, changed her look, walked out of a caravan in the video for ‘The Fear’, and I was in love. It was the dark brown eyes and the perfect combination of cute and sexy. I immediately informed my wife that I intended to marry Lily and set about trying to woo her. My love grew as she popped up on the telly more and more,

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GUY LLOYD

have a pop crush. She’s been No.1 in my pop crush chart for six years. And yes, I have a pop crush chart, doesn’t everyone? She’s had some challenges over the years; Katy B, Rihanna and Rita Ora of late, but nobody has

I need time to woo a lady, but Lily was in a rush

Follow me: @latestrichard

promoting her album. Then she confirmed a UK tour, which would include Glastonbury Festival and the Brighton Centre; two opportunities for her to fall in love with me. My job at Glastonbury Festival was working for the official radio station, Worthy FM, presenting the Breakfast Show and spending the rest of the day backstage at the Pyramid, gathering interviews from bands and passing celebrities. I was officially on ‘Lily Watch’. I was there from the Wednesday, but it isn’t really until the music starts on the Friday that the celebs rock up. They were all there; the Geldofs, Kate Moss, bloody ‘Grimmy’, even my future father-in-law, Keith Allen. But where was Lily? And then suddenly I saw this girl exit from the VIP teepee area. She had a purple wig on and glasses, but I knew from her size and her walk that this was unmistakably Lily Allen. Immediately, I pounced. I just had to make contact, get a photo, then if that went well ... a marriage proposal. In short, I got that photo but we did not fall in love. I need time to woo a lady, but Lily was in a rush and could not commit to a longterm relationship in that moment. I met her again that weekend, soon after her gig, as she was getting into a car to take her back to civilisation. However, again, there was no time to fall in love. I also found out a few weeks after the festival that Lily had got together with her future husband that weekend. They went on to have two children and will probably live happily ever after. It could have been me. Still, divorce rates are rocketing (and will do after my wife reads this) so I live in hope that Lily Lloyd will be a reality one day. Please do not pass this blog on to the police.

Follow me: @guy_lloyd

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AVENUE “

The man behind the original Hove Kitchen is back – Avenue is extremely good, well priced & family friendly

■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

”

Andrew Kay Latest 7

BREAKFAST LUNCH DINNER SUNDAY ROASTS PIZZA CHILDREN’S MENU AWARD WINNING COCKTAILS

■ CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR’S EVE BOOKINGS NOW BEING TAKEN

AVENUE: Open from 9am daily HOME BAR: Open until 1am 65 Church Road, Hove 01273 739742 www.theavenuehove.com

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HO HO HOYE A festive feast of fine jewels from top Brighton jewellery designer Jeremy Hoye at House of Hoye othing says ‘I love you’ more than beautiful jewellery. The look on the face of a loved one as they open that gift to find something sparkly is priceless, jewels seldom disappoint. Jeremy Hoye of House of Hoye has been creating fine jewellery now for many years and his recently remodeled business is packed with delightful gifts to suit all, men and women, modest budgets and less modest too. Over the years, Jeremy has built a name for making exquisite pieces that stand out from the crowded world of high street jewellers. They are individual, striking, sometimes witty, often romantic and never predictable. Jeremy eschews the common trends of the high street firmly believing that great jewellery is timeless. With this in mind, he only displays the work of other designers who match his very high standards of design and quality and alongside this a selection of fine antique and vintage pieces that sit comfortably with his own modern works. Recently he has returned to his roots, returning to some of his previous collections as well as creating inspired new collections. And collections is a key factor in what he does – many of Mary 9ct Yellow Gold Engagement his clients return time and Ring With 1.04ct Ruby And Pavé Set Black Diamonds, £1,695 time again, adding pieces of his work to their own collections. In addition Jeremy loves the challenge of a commission, creating a specific piece for a person, working with them to create something that is really individual and very personal, a one-off with real meaning. As well as the fine in-shop collection, Jeremy also offers gift vouchers and his website is full of inspiring ideas that can be purchased online. No one wants socks or diaries, really, but everyone would agree that something sparkling and inspired will hit exactly the right note. House Of Hoye, 22B Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD, 01273 776097 www.houseofhoye.com

Round Heavy Silver Ring With Sky Blue Topaz, £295

Curved 9ct Yellow Gold Chequered Ring, £800 Morocco 18ct yellow Gold Amethyst & Black Diamond Ring, £1,175

Mantaray Silver Drop Chain Ear Studs, £125 Mantaray Silver Drop Chain Necklace, £225

Mantaray Silver Sky Blue Topaz Ear Studs, £120

Engraved Heart Necklace, £395

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Language Support Representative – Bi-lingual – Disney Interactive (Brighton & Hove) PPC Specialist – TUI Specialist & Activity Sector (Brighton & Hove) Support Specialist – Totara Learning Ltd (Brighton & Hove) Client Account Manager – Rakuten Attribution – previously DC Storm (Brighton & Hove) Marketing and Support Assistant – National Numeracy (Lewes) Lead Web Designer – Study Group (Brighton & Hove) SEO Rising star – MOT Juice Ltd (Crawley-Horsham) Front End Developer – City & Guilds Kineo (Brighton & Hove) Account Manager – Fugu PR (Brighton & Hove)

SEO Support – to attract international clients Freelance Laravel Developer – full project brief Website redesign – inc external shopping cart

Brighton Codebar – Tuesday 9 December, from 6.30pm Venue TBC Women in Networking – Wednesday 10 December, from 12.30pm Buxted Park Hotel Brighton Crew Night – Saturday 6 December, from 6.00pm University Cafe Bar, Uni of Brighton

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ANDREW KAY SPONSORED BY

Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

o it’s that time of year when I need to sort out what I am doing for Christmas. Regular readers may well realise that this will not be easy, with my brother unwell and mum pretty much confined to doing what we can sensibly achieve. Amazingly it has all turned out rather well, considering. Mum will spend Christmas in Hay on Wye and I will travel to Somerset after that to spend the New Year with her. Of course I no longer own a car so I travel by train. I like train travel, it’s fairly relaxing if you don’t have too many changes, and despite the service not matching up with continental services in terms of comfort, it’s okay, just okay. The trouble is booking. I started by going online. I put in the times

TRAIN STRAIN Can someone please sort out train fares? and dates that I would have preferred and it came back to me with a series of options that ranged from affordable to downright crazy. Prices ranged from around £180 down to £56 or thereabouts. Now that is quite a radical range of prices by any score. None of them were direct and none took into account that for part of my journey I should receive a discount for the use of my annual Network Railcard. In the end I gave up and braved the queue at Brighton Station. Here I met a rather nice man who completely understood my dilemma. He wrote down the dates I wanted and started his search. He worked out the best prices possible and the routes that I would need to travel to get those prices. He even warned me that on my preferred return date there would be a replacement bus service from Littlehampton to Brighton – don’t even get me started on replacement bus services! It was no mean task, it took him, a professional rail service advisor, a good twenty minutes to do this. In the end, though, he really did come up with the goods

How I miss those wonderful dining car breakfasts of my youth and for a far better price than I found online at just over £41. Now that is a remarkable difference from the top prices that I found to do exactly the same journey. This year I have travelled extensively and I have to say for far less than some of the listed prices for a return trip to

Somerset. Helsinki cost less, Sicily cost less, Gothenburg was not much different ... I want to love train travel but I really do think that they are doing a remarkably bad job of selling it. They don’t guarantee a seat on many services, merely the right to travel. There is seldom wifi, seldom power sockets and the buffet services leave an awful lot to be desired – how I miss those wonderful dining car breakfasts of my youth. As for pricing, they need to make it clear, transparent and fair. I accept that travel at peak times should carry a premium price but really, is it neccesary to make it so difficult to navigate your way to the best possible price for your journey? Surely, if it takes the in-station advisor twenty minutes to sort out my tickets request, then that is uneconomical. So why not create clear price banding, peak and off peak fares and some sort of parity reflecting distances travelled to price. Maybe I am an idealist but I bet I am not alone in thinking that right now train ticket prices are simply mad.

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 COMPETITIONS Michael Fabbri

will also get a free bottle of Prosecco on arrival. We’ve got a pair of tickets to give away to anyone who can answer this question:

WIN TICKETS TO KRATER COMEDY CLUB’S NYE BASH! Courtesy of Brighton’s Komedia, Latest readers have the chance to win tickets to Krater Comedy Club’s raucous New Year’s Eve knees up. You can laugh yourself into 2015 with the best night out in

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Zoe Lyons

Brighton, on Wednesday 31 December from 7pm (doors 6pm) at Komedia. Eat, drink, watch four top stand-up comedians and giggle yourself silly. The line-up includes Zoe Lyons, Michael Fabbri, Marlon Davis and MC Jim Smallman. You

Komedia has a venue in which other UK city? • Birmingham • Bath • Bristol

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk

With the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 15 December 2014.

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FROM CHILE TO ARGENTINA

under review

SHINE ON!

Stephen Quinn discovers the Mendoza region’s Kaiken winery

BRIGHTON GAY MEN'S CHORUS: PUTTING ON THE GLITZ Theatre Royal Brighton, 30 November 2014 ★★★★★

he Chorus certainly know how to put on a show, and this was a super slick and glitzy occasion that proved why they are so popular. But for me the glitz is second to their musicality, and right now they are performing at a very high standard indeed. There is a disciplined precision to their singing that shines. Their arrangements are good, their performance skills and presentation precise, tuning and timing on the whole excellent, and my word, they have some great soloists. They choose their material well too and deliver it with class, in fact they are so good at what they do that I want to hear them stretch themselves just that little bit further. I understand their popular programme choices, but when a choir gets this good I want to hear them tackle something even tougher, something from the great canon of classical choral works perhaps? That's me being picky I know, but hearing the full power of the chorus rising to a peak that matches any male voice ensemble or dropping to a pure musical whisper that The Sixteen would be proud to achieve – well that I would love to see used more. All in all though, a full on five star evening of fun and great music.

Andrew Kay

BOOKINGS UFO & GUESTS

LAU

Concorde 2, 5 May 2015, £22, 01273 673311, concorde2.co.uk There are more stories about UFO than they’ve composed songs. Any band who have been in the music business for more than 40 years are bound to have experienced difficult times, but also dazzling successes and spectacular events.

Komedia, 20 May 2015, £17/15, 01273 647101, komedia.co.uk Named after an Orcadian word meaning ‘natural light’ (although deliberately misspelled it from ‘lowe’), LAU formed in Edinburgh in 2006 and were quickly hailed as a band of rare innovation and invention.

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Aurelio Montes junior with model of a baby kaiken

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ON THE GRAPEVINE

he kaiken goose is the only bird strong enough to fly over the Andes Mountains, which reach more than 7,000 metres. Each year this goose flies from Chile to Argentina. It has a wingspan of two metres, needed for powering across the mountains. Aurelio Montes senior, the noted Chilean winemaker and VicePresident of the international arm of Wines of Chile, was impressed by the terroir and ecology of the Mendoza region in Argentina after visiting in 2001. Montes and his son, who share the same name, set up Kaiken in Mendoza in 2002. Mendoza makes 80% of the country’s wine. The winery’s symbol is a stylised image of the Andes, and the Kaiken nonvintage sparkling features the goose on the label. Aurelio Montes junior moved his family to Mendoza to head the Kaiken project in 2011. In an interview at the estate, he said he had come to love the terroir and the people: “Mendoza is a great place to

REVIEWS ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN On the menu tonight a well rounded set including material from their new record 'Meteorites', which served up tracks such as 'Holy Moses' and 'Constantinople', each echoing morsels of their former glory. Pleasingly peppered with the iconic classics 'Seven Seas', 'Bring On The Dancing Horses', (ever haunting) 'The Killing Moon', and 'The Cutter' (even an abandoned 'Zimbo - All My Colours'), alongside a couple of great Doors covers, the boys didn't disappoint. Although it was not always easy to grasp the long-voweled mutterings of his banter, McCulloch's singing voice was in fine fettle throughout. With an encore of 'Nothing Ever Lasts Forever' and 'Sugar Kisses', dessert had been served leaving this appreciative if not slightly muted crowd, satiated. Concorde2, 2 December 2014 ★★★★★ Anne-Marie Matthews

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JAMES BLUNT: MOON LANDING James Blunt, hit writer parexcellence, and his posse of spacemen touched down for their ‘Moon Landing’ tour in Brighton. He announced that lots of his friends and family were there. It could have been the entire audience, such was the love for him. They came expecting to hear the numerous hits, sung in his strong, clear voice delivering those wellcrafted melodies within his impressive back catalogue. They weren’t disappointed. What’s unexpected is just how funny he can be. He knows how to work a crowd, and enjoys it. Singer, songwriter and comedian; you really can’t ask for more. Brighton Centre, 28 November 2014 ★★★★★ Martin Baron

Kaiken winery

grow grapes because of the long hours of sunshine and the lack of pests. Being organic is very easy here.” The main vineyard at Vistalba has been bio-dynamic since 2007. Montes junior aims to introduce bio-dynamic methods to the company’s three other vineyards in Mendoza. He aims to respect the environment and “work in The estate feels and harmony with the local people”. The estate feels and smells smells healthy, with healthy, with more flowers, more flowers, birdlife and butterflies than most vineyards. birdlife and Argentina and Chile have the same number of hectares under vine – 140,000 – but Montes junior butterflies than most points out major differences. “The biggest influence on winemaking in Chile is the ocean, whereas in Argentina the biggest factor is the large amount of sunshine.” Both countries focus on red. Seven out of 10 bottles are red. Argentine vineyards export to an average of 10 countries. Kaiken exports to 65 — a reflection of the esteem in which the estate is held.

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this week> Wed 10 Café Bar The Qukulele Christmas Special! 8pm, £6 in advance Thurs 11 Catalyst Club Monthly event which blends the old traditions of a French Salon with debating societies 8pm, £6 Sun 14 Cabaret Bar Richard Durrant A kaleidoscopic vision of what Christmas means to this most gifted and eclectic acoustic performer... 10.30am, £16 Cabaret Bar Jam Brighton Live A great day for new young Brighton bands. 2.30pm, £3 Mon 15 Have A Word LGBTQI Arts Performance Spoken Word & Music events. 7pm, £6 Cabaret Bar Chuck SJ Hay + Travis Eddie + Seth Corbin + Willie 8.30pm, £4

www.latestmusicbar.co.uk 14 –17 manchester street Advance tickets from www.wegottickets.com

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019_LS708_hotlist_011_LS466_interview 05/12/2014 13:55 Page 2

HOTLIST

Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit thelatest.co.uk BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN BARDSLEY’S Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy gheebased sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s

available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444

UP TO 50% OFF YOUR FOOD BILL

ITALIAN DONATELLO Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477 www.donatello.co.uk

TABLE POUNCER Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill. Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable. http://thelatest.co.uk/tablepouncer

THE CHILLI PICKLE The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

THE CHILLI PICKLE CANTEEN CHAULA’S BRIGHTON A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food

touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384

The Chilli Pickle

INDIAN CHAULA’S LEWES Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Bardsley’s

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar

Donatello Street Thai

THAI STREET THAI Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is

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with Andrew Kay

ALL THAI’D UP Getting spicy in Hove have never been to Thailand, I want to go desperately, but so far no go. That makes it rather odd for me to be talking about the authentic tastes of a cuisine that I have only sampled here – and I suspect that quite a lot of it is faux-siam. I have to say that I have also been rather lucky and had Thai dishes cooked at home by Thai chefs, and as such I am pretty well versed in the finer details of Thai ingredients – which is why I get cross when served dishes that replace pea aubergines with frozen peas, galangal with ginger and miss out that truly fragrant holy basil and offer up only the ubiquitous coriander. A few years back I went along to Green Mango in Hove and found that they were true to the real deal, using all the above specialist ingredients and many more. I liked it very much, and walking past a few weeks back decide that it was time to return to see if the offering was as good as it had been back then. I was not disappointed. Ms McD joined me for an early dinner and on the way we discussed what we like, and indeed dislike, about Thai food. We were pretty unanimous in our love of the spicing, the sweet, sour, hot and cool combinations that are so unique, and we were pretty unanimous about lazy thai dishes so often served up, the ubiquitous ‘Thai’ green and red curries that litter pub menus and have very little to do with the real deal. By the time we arrived we were chomping at the bit and hoping to find something new to excite our clearly jaded palates. Green Mango looks good, smart in part and exuberantly pretty in others. It was very early so pretty quiet, although within an hour it was filling up with customers of all ages. I like that, a place with a universal appeal. Ms McD was drinking sparkling water, so restrained, but I fancied and had a Thai beer, I

like the fragrant light brews that they favour and they are a great match for spicy food. To start she chose a special of spring rolls filled with crab and spinach. I tried one and it was very impressive and quite clearly freshly made. They were served prettily too in a wine glass not unlike a prawn cocktail and with a display of impressively carved carrots on the side. I am not supposed to eat crab but I threw caution to the wind and ordered soft shell crab. I love it and I loved this, that musky flavour, soft and creamy interior and crisp exterior ticks all of my boxes – and this was damned good, I was very happy despite blanking out the potential foot pain later. Ms McD moved on and chose a spicy red curry. This came with the funniest carving in swede of a squirrel. Having recently had to cook squirrel live on stage it made me laugh, and I am relieved to say that it was not a squirrel dish as squirrel is not an attractive food item. She ate the dish with relish, the vibrant sauce working well with the sticky rice. I stayed with seafood and chose Chu Chi Goong,

We were pretty unanimous in our love of the spicing, the sweet, sour, hot and cool combinations

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giant king prawns cooked in a creamy red curry sauce, with peppers, and topped with lime leaves. When I say huge I mean HUGE! Clench your fist and you will get an idea of the scale of these very tasty beasts. I’ve been served lobsters with less meat on them and this meat was particularly tasty, as was the rich sauce. My plate carried a bird in flight made of carrot! I had a little sticky rice but I was saving space for a plate of pak choi leaves lightly stir-fried with soy sauce. I’m a big fan of greens in any form but I particularly like oriental greens. There is a delicate balance of watery flesh with bitter notes that are brought to life by being delicately cooked and dressed with a light soy dressing. Ms McD had a little, but I scoffed the lot and smacked my lips after each mouthful. We really were too full for puds but could not resist when we heard that it was Boho Gelato salt caramel ice-cream – delicious. Green Mango is excellent, sensibly priced and very welcoming and we both loved our crazy carved vegetables. Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, thegreenmangohove.com

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on Freeview channel 8,

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stage / film / comedy / art / music

L7 ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Watch Latest entertainment on

STAGE

Andrew Kay

on Freeview channel 8,

While the main action is being directed in one part of the Devonshire Park Halls, musical numbers are learnt in another, choreography set to challenge any non-professional dancer (or comic!) is practiced behind the rows of sewing machines and lines are rehearsed under breath in spare corners. Step around the sets dominating floor space as their paint dries and into the sewing workshop, set up to finish the 21 principle costumes and 62 chorus costumes needed for this spectacular panto. Dame Derriere alone has nine costumes this year – two of which need batteries! Eastbourne shoppers caught a glimpse of Malevolent and Dame Derriere as they switched on the town centre lights on Thursday 4 December as part of the fantastic Chamber of Commerce Stars and Ice appeal. Beauty and the Beast is at the Devonshire Park Theatre from 12 December 2014 – 11 January 2015, various times. Tickets are priced from £12 – £20 making it the best value pantomime in the south. To book, call the box office on 01323 412000 or visit www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk. For behind-thescenes Eastbourne Theatres panto access and news, follow @EBTheatres on Twitter and www.facebook.com/EBTheatres. Want to get involved this year? Use #EBPanto on Twitter and Instagram. If Panto is not for you, then catch one of Richard Durrant’s Candlelit Concerts. The internationallay acclaimed and popular local guitarist Richard Durrant returns with his annual candlelit concert of beautiful wintry music (Saturday 20 December 3pm & 8pm again at Ropetackle in Shoreham, or Sunday 14 December at Latest Musicbar, doors 10.30am, price £16).

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OH YES IT IS Don’t be restive – get festive! ess bah humbag and more ‘It’s behind you’, please! Christmas Panto season is upon us and if we are to preserve this great British theatrical tradition we need to support it by getting our bums on those seats. This year, Sleeping Beauty makes a triumphant return to Ropetackle in Shoreham from Sunday 21 to Wednesday 31 December. It stars Monty Python’s Carol Cleveland, hot from the Python’s sell out 02 Arena season, in the role of Queen Maleficent, so you can expect another marvellous, funny and magical family adventure! Christmas is in full swing at Eastbourne Theatres already and the cast of Eastbourne Devonshire Park Theatre’s Beauty and the Beast are deep in rehearsals in preparation for curtain up on Friday 12 December. Carley Stenson (Hollyoaks and the West End), returning dame Martyn Knight, comic Tucker and Emily Bull (West End) quickly got acquainted with their new panto ‘family’ as they were thrown into a full script readthrough within an hour of arriving! Sitting alongside them were the Company Manager, Asst. Company Manager, Choreographer, Musical Director, Lighting Designers, ensemble and backstage crew – performing to an audience from day one!

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entertainment news / film/ art

BRIGHTON’S ARTY

FILM

Jessica KellgrenHayes

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Alison Krog

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POSTFEATURE: PADDINGTON

TOP OF THE GLASS

have written before about the troubles concerned with turning a beloved childhood book, comic or TV show into a blockbuster film (Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, how I wish I could wipe you from my brain). My fears for the new Paddington Bear film were only exacerbated by the threat of some potentially terribly CGI … Enjoying as I did the 1997 cartoon series, and adoring the stop-motion series from the 1970s, I was doubtful about this first foray onto the big screen for the bear from Peru. I needn’t have worried. 2014’s Paddington is not a cheap, garish clash of CGI and live action, it is not mawkish or annoyingly self-referential. This 21st century Paddington is every bit as charming and entertaining as his television counterpart. Writer-director Paul King has also worked on The Mighty Boosh and that zany-but-endearing comedic background shines through. His co-writer Hamish McColl has also worked on such prototypically English comedies as Mr Bean’s Holiday, Johnny English Reborn and the new Dad’s Army, coming out next year. This background shines through; Paddington is full of the sweetnatured comedy we have come to expect from British family films – aimed towards young children but marked by being appealingly dotted with jokes that go over their heads, in the most sweet-natured of ways. It also stars some of our best actors: from Downton’s Hugh Bonneville to the wonderful Sally Hawkins and the superb Peter Capaldi. The film paints the picture of a colourful and multicultural London. Paddington’s original creator, Michael Bond is reported as having said he “slept soundly” after seeing the new film, and he has every reason to have done. For those looking for a family-friendly, slightly festive film, Paddington is clearly the way to go. It is an island of hope in a sea of Nativity 3 and Get Santa! Well, that is my opinion, at least. You will have to watch PostFeature on Wednesday at 6.30pm (or catch a repeat throughout the week) to see what my dear, Grinch-like co-presenter, Joseph Gunn, thinks of this re-mastering. I warn you now, he hates just about anything with even the hint of a Christmas tree!

t’s the last weekend of Christmas Artists Open Houses – and we’d hate you to miss out on the masterful craftsmanship of our favourite glass artist, Stephanie Else. So make your way to Beaconsfield Studios at the bottom of Ditchling Rise where she’ll be showing a vibrant collection of glass artworks and jewellery – including some extra special snowflakes. Applying a variety of kiln-forming techniques, Stephanie works with a combination of transparent and opaque glass, adding metals, foils and lustres. She uses the surface texture, pattern and colour within the medium to create beautifully tactile pieces that exploit the natural jewel-like qualities the glass possesses. Imagine how stunning they will look on your walls, shimmering in the winter sun. (And did we mention there’ll be Chocadyllic chocolate creations there too?) Another Beaconsfield Studio that’s well worth a visit is that of awardwinning contemporary painter Caia Matheson. Caia is inspired by ‘wabi sabi’ – or the beauty of imperfection, and she loves to mix paint mediums and experiment with the effects. Her unique technique is very physical, painting with her hands and washingup brushes onto canvases laid flat on the floor. She starts with a specific colour in mind, then introduces other colours as she builds up layers on the canvas. These are then scraped off and layered again, gradually exposing the subjects of the composition, which are buried in the dark and light spaces and come out and disappear as the light changes. A mesmerising and mystical experience for the viewer.

Out of town: The annual Christmas Mixed Exhibition at Zimmer Stewart Gallery, Arundel, is a visual treat with something to satisfy all tastes. Featuring works by Elaine Pamphilon, Piers Ottey, Tom Hammick, Garry Goodman, Chris Keenan and Arundel Cool! to name just a few.

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DEEP SPACE

entertainment news / comedy /art / events

COMEDY

Victoria Nangle

EVENT: NORDIC GIANTS As Nordic Giants write the last chapter in Brighton before relocating to Europe, witness their blend of claustrophobic cinema clatter, epic short films and groundbreaking digital mapping techniques in a one off show simply called 'Spirit'. The Old Market, Thurs 11 Dec, 8pm, £10

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GOOD TRADITION There’s more to Lewes entertainment than fireworks and effigies ...

EVENT: GREMLINS Classic 80s horror/adventure/fantasy/ comedy/Christmas favourite from Joe Dante gets a special big screen outing for the season at Komedia. When you leave, just see how badly you’ll want to say; “Bright light!”. Dukes @ Komedia, Wed 10 Dec, 9pm, £14

ewes has many traditions, old and new. From burning effigies that catch the attention of the national news and Twittersphere, to blowing up parking metres as a protest against the introduction of said parking restrictions, and many more. It’s clear to see that Lewes has its own character it stays true to when it, as a town, does anything. So it would hardly be a surprise to find that there is a cracking and quite unique comedy night that arrives in Lewes every month, combining a great evening of professional comics with all manner of other treats. Comedy At The Con is the brainchild of actor, writer and The Ornate Johnsons member, Dave Mounfield. Regularly hosted by Mr Mounfield, it’s worth arriving early to make sure you have a seat – and a ticket – to this popular and frequently sold out affair. The Christmas Comedy At The Con celebrations are pulling out all the stops. Not only is there the promise of a sketch or two from Dave Mounfield and Neil Masters, there’s also a fabulous comedy Powerpoint lecture from a mystery guest, and an awesome extended full hour set from Andrew Maxwell headlining proceedings. Boom! And because it’s Lewes, and all of the magic that entails, you’ll also find competitions, prizes, and a now traditional Crimbo Raffle as

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ART: NEW ENGLAND HOUSE OPEN STUDIOS Once again NEH throws open its multiple doors to the public for three days, as part

part and parcel of this festive celebration. Doors are at 7.30pm, but this being a very civilised and bespoke affair, anyone can wander into the club for a drink from 4pm in the afternoon. It’s an earlier start than usual this month, with proceedings kicking off at 8pm rather than an hour later, but with so much to enjoy – and it being a school night, even in Lewes – this really is a most civilised start to a raucous evening of festive laughter and unusual comedy. Comedy At The Con Christmas Special, The Con Club, Lewes, Thurs 11 Dec, 8pm, tickets available from Union Music or 07582 408418, £10/9/8, www.wegottickets.com/ComedyAtTheCon

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of the Christmas Open Houses. More than 50 exhibitors will be displaying their wares, everything from drawings to prints, pottery to knit wares. A fantastic Xmas buying opportunity. www.nehopenstudios.co.uk New England House, New England Street, 11-13 Dec, midday-8pm. ART: LARRY Beautiful and elegiac representations of a seemingly forgotten Americana by photographer Larry Niehues. One Eyed Jack’s Gallery, 28 York Place, Brighton, 07743 098530. Until 23 December.

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000-000_LS708_comedy_music_011_LS466_interview 04/12/2014 11:11 Page 3

music / clubs

CATFISH & THE BOTTLEMEN The Latest’s Jeff Hemmings and frontman Van McCann chat big dreams, and revving up generators in the rain

ard work and self belief. Two essential ingredients for making it in the world of music. It seems that the four piece – named after a busker in Australia, where frontman Van McCann was living at the time – from Llandudno, in North Wales, have this in spades, as they continue on the upward trajectory, a long sold out tour of the UK in process. “Just graft, man,” says frontman Van McCann. “We played a couple of hundred shows a year before we had a deal. When bands like Stereophonics played at Echo Arena, we'd put a CD on every single car in the car park. We went to a Kasabian gig once and when everyone came out we revved up a generator in the rain, and played to all the people coming out. And we used to turn up at universities with a generator, and play.” Sounds old fashioned, doesn't it? But playing constantly, and with few inhibitions (plus some great songs and a welcoming personality) it's heartening to hear such stories. And it's all

paid off for these superb anthemic indie-rockers, first by signing with Communion and then with its much older big brother, Island Records. “It appealed to us at the time,” says Van. “‘We love you as you are’, they said, ‘we don't want to change anything’. The label is run by musicians; they know what you like and what you don't like. “Ben Lovett (of Mumford & Sons, and who set up Communion) took a listen, thought we were great, and before we knew it we were making an EP, and they thought every song was a single which is what they released. They then signed us to the Island deal … it's overwhelming really, I always used

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

to dream about playing arenas. I could see us doing that. But I couldn't see us getting a deal. We just wanted to play live. “We signed off the dole when we signed with Communion, and got a wage, but we worked out what we could afford and it was still only £8 a day!” McCann laughs. “We signed off the dole, to get on the dole, but without having to sign on and lie about trying to get a job. “You've got to be careful, you could be one of these bands who get all over magazines and pay to get on TV. At the time we were pissed off, thinking ‘why is nobody signing us?’ We felt like we had something good. But, now I'm made up, everything we have done has led to this. We'll just carry on playing gigs, listening to people singing and go crazy. It's still dead exciting.” Concorde 2, Tuesday 9 December, 7.30pm, £9.50, SOLD OUT

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Another week and another great music chart for you! Listen online to get your favourite to the top and to submit your own tracks.

1 Tenek If I Should Fall (ep version) 2 Jaybee Brokeback Mountain 3 Mr Resonate Say What You Mean 4 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Frankie 5 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Dirty Weekend In Brighton 6 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Ben Sherman (style man from Brighton) 7 La Lunalight 8 Kings of the Wild Front Ear Snow 9 The Black Fields The Fighter 10 The Last Cry Rebekka 11 Cayden Cole Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (traditional) 12 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Dirty Weekend In Brighton

CLUB HIGHLIGHTS

13 The Wolfgirl Liberation Theo Jasen’s Strandbeests

Don’t miss our pick of Brighton after dark X FACTOR FRIDAYS Level 1 is all about the X Factor this winter as the acts voted off perform on stage, accompanied by A-grade pop anthems throughout the night. Level 2 is a special pop-up night – The Powder Room. With the X Factor finals around the corner, the rejects names are getting bigger! Revenge, Fri 12 Dec, 10.30pm, £14

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

RUNWAY PRESENTS DJ SNOOPADELIC Brighton Rox is hosting a one off Runway special with Snoop Dogg coming to Brighton to perform a full two hour show. Snoop Dogg himself will be djing and hosting his hits for two hours straight! Plus support from the finest DJs in Brighton. Shooshh..., Wed 10 Dec, 9pm, SOLD OUT

COUTURE Housed in one of Brighton’s most exclusive venues – Couture will offer you nothing less than a plethora of affordable drinks, outrageous party atmospheres and the most majestic crowd on the south coast ... Funfair, Sat 13 Dec, 10pm, £5 before midnight

14 Swarf Parlour Tricks 15 Hollywood Assassins Switchblade 16 Chaos Borne Watching 17 Tenek No Time For Fighting (Jab edit) 18 Vortex Generator Regenerate 19 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 20 The Mice Beauty Queen SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC & VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

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026_LS708_boredgamers_science_011_LS466_interview 04/12/2014 16:32 Page 2

BAD FRIDAY

UNLOCKING POTENTIAL

Jim Devereaux is solving your gaming woes this Christmas

Science & technology at Portslade Aldridge Community Academy

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LATESTWRITES

BORED GAMERS

DR CAROLINE OPRANDI

he purchasing habits of humans can be a curious thing – and evidenced by last week’s crazed and aggressive Black Friday deal hunting, dangerous too! Although I found it highly amusing to see hundreds of somewhat idiotic people chasing 10% discounts in stores that generally sell their goods at a premium above and beyond the average price you’ll find for the same goods online, it did get to me thinking about what new games would make the best presents this coming Christmas. November is nearly always the busiest month for game releases and this year was no exception, with literally hundreds of titles released across a wide range of platforms. From the parent wanting to make their kids happy come 25 December to the teenager desperate to look cool to his or her mates, sifting through the titles on offer can be a daunting task. Therefore, in in the interest of Christmas spirit and good will toward gamers – here are my top Christmas gift picks: PlayStation 4: Your best bet if you want to pick up an exclusive title for Sony’s flagship generation leading platform is LittleBigPlanet 3. Sackboy’s paper crafted sweet and quirky world is appealing to all age groups and the option to have up to four people playing at once makes it a genuinely appealing Christmas party game option too. The only shame about the PS4 is that this game is the only truly decent first party title so far … Xbox One: for those on the other side of the console gaming fence, you have a lot more choice when it comes to high quality home-grown products. The absolute best choice in my opinion is the excellent value Halo: The Master Chief Collection. Literally four great games in one, all remastered to the highest current graphical standards and with the added bonus of being able to jump into any level as you please. A real bargain. Best of the Rest: Other notable mentions have to be Super Smash Bros. on the Wii U, a highly addictive and easy to pick up social brawler for those who own a Nintendo console of the handheld or home variety. And finally for those who game mainly on older consoles or PC, it has to be Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare – available on virtually every system and an excellent game. So there you have it, a quick and easy guide to some great games, and you didn’t have to punch someone in a frenzied Friday scramble to get it … Bored Gamers is an hour-long weekly show on all things gaming. Tune in to Latest TV at 9pm every Friday night.

... a genuinely appealing Christmas party game option

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has arrived. So we are all pretty excited about that, too. Next week we hope to capture some good star pictures. Pretty topical around Christmas time, I would say. No pressure, Astronomy Club, but it would be great to get a snap of the ‘Star of Portslade’! Follow me: @CarolineOprandi

n preparation for the Christmas fair, we have been busy making bath bombs and lip balms. The Social Enterprise team have been carrying out market research and are brimming with ideas. It’s wonderful that we are experimenting with applied science in such a creative, fun way. The plan is to grow our own produce and extract the essential oils (with the help of our lovely science teaching assistant, Jess, who is herself also a qualified science teacher). I have to confess, though, to having never made lip balm before, and I was getting rather stressed out after having broken a glass bowl ... and then the microwave. But then something happened that just made me stop in my tracks and go ‘wow’! In a flap, I had gone into the staff room with my second batch of lip balm so that I could use the microwave there. I was just telling a member of staff that I was having a meltdown over lip balm when the cover staff sat next to her said; “I make and sell my own lip balm, and keep bees too”. I mean, what are the chances? If the microwave and bowl hadn’t broken, if I hadn’t gone into the staff room, etc, etc. So, thanks to some expert tips and advice, we now have a product to be really proud of. Thank you Jenny, for appearing from nowhere, and sharing The plan is to grow tips about bees and our own produce and your ‘Sparks Family Products’. On another note, the extract essential oils telescope for our Observatory

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TUESDAY 9 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas Channel 4, 8pm Feeling skint this Crimbo? Then make your own presents for friends and family, just like you did when you were a kid, and watch their hearts swell. Admittedly, Kirstie gets to go to Norway to learn new crafts and visits posh Blenheim Palace for tips. We’ll just take notes, then.

Imagine... Jeff Koons: Diary Of A Seducer BBC1, 10.35pm Often controversial and frequently popular, the artist who celebrates the commonplace and has pulled a sharp focus onto sex and the banal has quite a history in his canon of works. With Jeff Koons’ first retrospective appearing in New York and Paris, Alan Yentob talks to the man.

The Flash Sky1, 8pm What happens when The Flash drinks too much coffee? Has anyone ever asked? Anyway, this superhero that moves at incredible speeds is in for a bumpy ride this week when he gets zapped by a metahuman who can harness electricity. That’s gotta hurt. Will he be alright? Cross your fingers ...

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 The Newspapers 9.00 The Vote 9.30 Cook It! 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis 1.00 The Vote 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Exceptional Homes 2.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 The Brighton Lights Sessions 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Bookenders 7.00 Best Of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 You Make It, We Show It! 9.00 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 9.30 StageUp Unplugged 10.00 Modern Toss Comedy series with lots of swearing! 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Bookenders 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00am News 12.30 Bookenders 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 You Make It, We Show It 3.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions 3.30 StageUp Unplugged 4.00 Modern Toss 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Bookenders 5.30 Under The Radar

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Claimed And Shamed 11.30 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.40 Christmas Kitchen With James Martin 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Tosh’s paranoia about Tina intensifies. It’s Peter’s 21st birthday and wanting to feel closer to Lucy, he takes a huge risk. 8.00 Holby City Hospital drama. Raf is thrown when Amy has an unexpected request. With LA firmly in his sights, Dominic ruthlessly risks all to fulfil his ambitions. It’s secret santa and as Mo plays detective, has she found her perfect man? 9.00 The Missing Relationship thriller exploring the emotional fallout of a child’s abduction on both the family and the wider community, told over two time frames and two countries. In 2009, with no significant progress made in the case, Tony and Emily’s marriage hangs by a thread. In the present day, the information that Tony, Julien and Emily received gives them a tenuous lead. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Jeff Koons: Diary Of A Seducer See highlights. 11.50 FILM: The Lookout (2007) Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jeff Daniels, Matthew Goode, Isla Fisher. Tense thriller about a brain-damaged janitor who is lured into taking part in a bank heist. 1.20am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.25 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Claimed And Shamed 7.35 Oxford Street Revealed 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 Antiques Roadshow 10.05 Close Calls: On Camera 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 1.10 The Blue Planet 2.10 The Great British Bake Off 3.10 A Place To Call Home 3.55 The World’s Most Photographed: John F Kennedy 4.25 The Making Of Modern Britain 5.25 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball is joined by the couple who narrowly escaped elimination. 7.00 James May’s Cars Of The People James travels to Germany, Italy and Russia to reveal the extraordinary story of how dictators kick-started the mobilisation of the masses. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Cookery competition. It is the semi-finals. Yum! 9.00 Secrets Of The Castle With Ruth, Peter And Tom The team delve deeper into the secrets of the skilled communities who built medieval castles. Ruth, Peter and Tom discover the ways in which every aspect of construction at Guedelon Castle requires the stonemasons, blacksmiths and carpenters to coordinate their efforts. 10.00 Brian Pern: A Life In Rock Spoof documentary following ageing rock star Brian Pern. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 World’s Greatest Food Markets A dream of visiting and trading in the greatest food markets. 12.20am Sign Zone: Film 2014 12.50 Sign Zone: The Mekong River With Sue Perkins s 4.00 The Genius Of Invention 4.30 Real World Chemistry 5.00 The Bloodhound Adventure

ITV1

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Christmas With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle’s behaviour causes concern. Ashley is faced with a difficult decision. Nicola and Bernice’s dieting is unsuccessful. 7.30 UEFA Champions League Live Adrian Chiles presents live coverage of one of the final Champions League group matches. With commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Matt Smith presents highlights from the final matches in the group stage, including Liverpool against Basel at Anfield and Arsenal making the long trip to Turkey to take on Galatasaray. Also featuring action from Real Madrid versus Ludogorets. 11.40 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show, inviting more contestants to see if they have what it takes to win 250,000 pounds. Teacher Sarah from Hertfordshire dreams of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro but first she must take on the mighty Cube, while pizza delivery man Tony reckons he has got what it takes - but can he deliver a performance good enough to win the big prize? 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Kirstie’s Crafty Christmas 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm News 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste is desperate to protect his family, but will they believe him? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas See highlights. 9.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Christmas: Tinsel And Tiaras Documentary from the makers of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding which follows the celebrations and traditions of members of the Irish traveller community at Christmas. From a bride-to-be planning a spectacular Christmas-themed wedding, to a family heading back to the Emerald Isle. 10.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular shows. 11.05 British Comedy Awards Nominations Show 2014 The nominees in each category of the British Comedy Awards 2014 are revealed. The show also features this year’s funniest clips, as well as interviews with some of the biggest names in comedy. 12.05am PokerStars.com Shark Cage 1.00 Trans World Sport 1.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2.25 Great Ethiopian Run 3.20 FIM Superbike World Championship 4.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.10 Win It Cook It 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.25 FILM: Disney’s Santa Who? (2000) 1.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 FILM: The Real St. Nick (2012) 3.30 FILM: An Old Fashioned Christmas (2010) 5.15 Chinese Food In Minutes 5.30 5 News 6.00 Home And Away After learning that the investigation into Jake’s death is now over following Josh’s lie, Andy decides to move out. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild Documentary series. Ben meets two septuagenarian brothers who live out in the wilds of Utah. 8.00 Michael Buble’s Christmas Special Michael Buble presents a Christmas entertainment special featuring a mix of classic festive songs and special guests. 9.00 Kids’ Hospital At Christmas Three-part series following staff and patients at the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital over the festive season. 15-year-old Emily has EhlersDanlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder. Complications have meant that she has spent nearly all of the past year in hospital. 10.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series about people who live on benefits. In Blackpool, a mother-of-six is banned from the job centre following an altercation. 11.00 NCIS US crime drama series. 11.55 NCIS Drama series. 12.55am SuperCasino 3.10 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Flash. See highlights. 9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 Britcam: Emergency On Our Streets 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Barely Legal Drivers 9.00 Our War: Goodbye Afghanistan 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am American Dad! 12.30 Our War: Goodbye Afghanistan 2.00 The Human Tissue Squad 3.00 Barely Legal Drivers

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes 9.00 The Secrets Of Quantum Physics 10.00 James May At The Edge Of Space 10.30 The Rolling Stones Return To Hyde Park 11.45 The Rolling Stones At The BBC 12.30am Neil Diamond: Solitary Man

2.45pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 The Very Best Of You’ve Been Framed! 7.00 You’ve Been Framed At Christmas 8.00 I’m A Celeb: Junglicious Moments 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 11.55 Two And A Half Men (x4) 1.40am The Vampire Diaries

9.35am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 A Touch Of Frost 12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.05 Faith In The Future 4.35 French Fields 5.10 George And Mildred 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Bouquet Of Barbed Wire 11.00 The Vice 12.10am A Touch Of Frost

4.00pm Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Rude Tube 10.00 Bad Robots 10.35 Tattoos After Dark 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am The Inbetweeners (x2)

11.05am A Place In The Sun 11.40 FILM: Night Passage (1957) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Christmas At River Cottage 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Women (2008) 11.15 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.20am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut

11.00am Cloak And Dagger (1946) 1.10pm Challenge To Lassie (1949) 2.45 I Was Monty’s Double (1958) 4.50 The Third Man (1949) 7.00 Hero (2002) 9.00 Safe House (2012) 11.15 Compliance (2012) 1.05am Sex And The City (2008) 4.00 Close

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WEDNESDAY 10 The Lost Honour Of Christopher Jefferies ITV1, 9pm Based on a true story that will be familiar to many, this is the first part in a two-part dramatisation of how retired schoolteacher Christopher Jefferies found his life upended when his young tenant Jo Yeates disappeared, and he was brought in for questioning. Media frenzy.

Bear’s Wild Weekend With Ben Stiller Channel 4, 9pm Where do you think intrepid explorer and survivalist Bear Grylls will take the Hollywood actor and director Ben Stiller for a real making-of-you trip? The Sahara Desert? Nope. The jungles of Cambodia? Not on your Nelly. The pair are off to the wilds of Scotland. Grrrr.

Spike Milligan: Love, Light And Peace BBC4, 9pm Brilliant, troubled, of his time, influencing so many that were to come after him – there are many facets to the man that was Spike Milligan. With exclusive home movie footage and interviews with those who worked with him, lived with him and were inspired by him. A must for all Spike fans.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Best of Brighton Lights 8.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Vote 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00 Brighton Lights 12.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 1.00 The Vote 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Noise Reel 6.00 News The latest news plus national updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 Post Feature All the latest movie news with Jessica Kellgren-Hayes and Joseph Gunn 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show with presenters Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. 7.30 News 7.50 Sport News 7.55 Weather 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Latest Homes Live Pioneering daily property show, a commercial feature, with homes for sale and to let in the area, as well as Exceptional Homes, iconic buildings, local history and finance tips. 10.30 News 10.50 Sport News 10.55 Weather 11.00 Hindsight: The Shorts 11.15 Hindsight: The Shorts 11.30 StageUp Unplugged 12.00am News 12.20 Sport News 12.25 Weather 12.30 Post Feature 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 News 1.50 Sport News 1.55 Weather 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Latest Homes Live 4.30 News 4.50 Sport News 4.55 Weather 5.00 Noise Reel

BBC1

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show I 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. A neglected Leo finds solace in new girl Mandy but soon finds there is more to her than meets the eye. Sue finds herself in hot water when Hector threatens to tell Simon about their affair. 9.00 The Apprentice Lord Sugar summons the candidates to tell them their next task. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy from the Hammersmith Apollo. The sometimes controversial Frankie Boyle introduces sets from Simon Evans and Aisling Bea. 11.05 Film 2014 The Film 2014 team take a critical look at the latest film from Middle Earth, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. Director Ridley Scott talks about new swords and sandals epic Exodus: Gods and Kings. 11.35 FILM: Rabbit Hole (2010) Starring Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart, Dianne Wiest, Miles Teller. Drama following a grieving couple struggling to cope with the death of their four-year-old son and the conflict they experience over their differing attitudes to dealing with it. 1.00am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.05 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Claimed And Shamed 7.30 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 10.00 Close Calls: On Camera 10.30 See Hear 11.00 News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 1.10 The Blue Planet 2.10 The Great British Bake Off 3.10 A Place To Call Home 3.55 The World’s Most Photographed: Audrey Hepburn 4.25 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 5.25 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball has all the gossip and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 James May’s Cars Of The People James May discovers how the car became an everyday part of ordinary people’s lives. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Cookery competition. It is the semi-finals. 9.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys Michael Portillo follows in the footsteps of Edwardian travellers to trace a route recommended in Bradshaw’s guide, journeying from the heart of France to the Mediterranean coast. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired The newly fired candidate from The Apprentice receives a grilling in front of a studio audience. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 The Meat Market: Inside Smithfield Smithfield has been supplying the capital with meat since the 12th century, but what does the future hold for the men of the meat market? 12.20am Intruders 1.05 Sign Zone: See Hear 4.00 The Strange Case Of The Law 5.00 Seeking Refuge 5.20 Olympic Spark: Fire Up Your Future 5.50 William Whiskerson

ITV1

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Christmas With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle finds herself in further trouble. Nicola receives some unexpected news. Harriet supports Ashley on his big day. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Kylie confess her past to David? Kal attempts a truce with Zeedan. Maria admits her feelings for Luke. 8.00 I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! Coming Out Show following this year’s celebrities from the moment they step foot off the legendary bridge, to the emotional reunions with their family and friends. It also captures their reactions as they spend their first night back in luxury. As they prepare to wash the jungle out of their hair, how will the celebrities cope with adjusting to life in the outside world? 9.00 The Lost Honour Of Christopher Jefferies See highlights. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.10 The Chase Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh. Four contestants must pit their wits against the Chaser, a ruthless quiz genius determined to stop them winning the prize cash. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm News 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Rose is rushed to hospital, where a devastated Tegan takes control. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Posh Pawn Documentary series looking at high-end pawnbrokers in Britain. James and Jo are taken by surprise when a bumper-car collector looking for a loan turns up at the shop and offers an impromptu test drive in the city. 9.00 Bear’s Wild Weekend With Ben Stiller See highlights. 10.00 America’s Fugitive Family Observational documentary that provides exclusive access to a fugitive American family who have lived on a remote Texan compound since 1999. After a run-in with the law, John Joe Gray skipped bail and barricaded his family into a heavily armed, 47-acre homestead with no mains electricity, plumbing or telephone. Water is sourced from a natural spring, the family hunt and farm to survive and the children are being brought up without formal education. 11.00 A&E In The War Zone Documentary following senior British trauma surgeon David Nott. 12.00am 24 Hours In A&E 1.00 FILM: For Those In Peril (2014) 2.35 Waste Land 4.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.10 Win It Cook It 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.25 FILM: Meet The Santas (2005) 1.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 FILM: Secret Santa (2001) 3.30 FILM: A Perfect Christmas (2012) 5.15 Chinese Food In Minutes 5.30 5 News 6.00 Home And Away Brax comes across the ring that Casey planned to give Denny on their trip away. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Living On The Edge: Blood On The Sand Documentary. Awardwinning film-maker Chris Terrill travels alone with his camera to meet people who carve out an existence in the desert. 8.00 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun Documentary series. This episode follows driving instructor John, known as ‘the Gordon Ramsay of the instructor world’, as he takes his latest pupil around the streets of Gib. 9.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series about people who live on benefits, focusing this time on the immigrants who claim welfare in order to support children who live overseas in their home countries. 10.00 My Crazy Christmas Obsession First of a two-part documentary featuring people who take Christmas decorations to a whole new level. 11.00 Kids’ Hospital At Christmas Three-part series following staff and patients at the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital over Christmas. 12.00am Dallas 12.55 SuperCasino 3.10 The Railway: First Great Western 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Divine Designs 4.45 House Doctor (x2) 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Football’s Funniest Moments 7.30 LIVE: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Forever 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Gavin & Stacey (x2) 9.00 How Safe Are My Drugs? 10.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sweat The Small Stuff 1.00 How Safe Are My Drugs? 2.00 Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Miracle In The Marshes Of Iraq 9.00 Spike Milligan: Love, Light And Peace. See highlights. 10.30 Spike Milligan: Assorted Q 11.00 Frost On Satire 12.00am Boogie Fever: A TOTP2 Disco Special 1.30 The Joy Of Disco

12.15pm Emmerdale 12.45 The Cube 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 The Best Of You’ve Been Framed! 7.00 You’ve Been Framed: Animals! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Educating Joey Essex: Winter Essex-pedition 10.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x4)

9.35am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.05 Faith In The Future 4.35 French Fields 5.10 George And Mildred 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Wycliffe 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Harry At 30 10.00 Bouquet Of Barbed Wire 11.00 The Vice 12.10am A Touch Of Frost

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 FILM: Step Up 3 (2010) 10.15 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.10 The Inbetweeners (x2) 12.15am Made In Chelsea 1.20 Paternity Court

11.25am FILM: Geordie (1955) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 River Cottage Veg 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown (x2) 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 8 Out Of 10 Cats 12.30am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown

11.00am The Cruel Sea (1953) 1.35pm Von Ryan’s Express (1965) 4.05 Earthquake (1974) 6.40 Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief (2010) 9.00 Vehicle 19 (2013) 10.40 Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) 12.40am The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (1991) 2.20 The Naked Gun 33 1/3 (1994)

DON’T MISS... YOUR LATEST TV LISTINGS RIGHT HERE EVERY DAY FREEVIEW

AND VIRGIN MEDIA 159

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THURSDAY 11 Albion Night Latest TV, 7.30pm Football’s not a weekend pleasure – it can pick you up any day of the week! Especially when Friday is so near, yet so far, away. Join the sports team as they chat with players, fans and local faces about our Brighton team’s form past and present. With clips from classic games from the club’s archives to relive the best bits.

Britain’s Bloodiest Dynasty Channel Five, 9pm If you thought Game Of Thrones was bloodthirsty, you’ve clearly not been paying attention to your British history. Dan Jones continues his part-dramatised story of the Plantagenet dynasty, looking specifically at the reign of Edward II. Mixing up murder, intrigue, lust, betrayal and revenge, without a single dragon.

Forever Sky1, 9pm There’s something incongruous about the perfect Englishaccented Welshman Ioan Gruffudd playing the adoptive father of true New Yoiker Judd Hirsh. But we like it. It’s another week of our immortal man flirting with death and helping to take down the bad guys with tough lady cop Martinez. Oh yeah.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Vote 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Post Feature 1.00 The Vote 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Brighton Lights 2.30 Brighton Lights 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 News The latest local news plus national updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 The Vote 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport. Featuring news about the squads and competitions, classic games from the club’s archives and much more. 8.30 Albion Night More from the Seagulls’ weekly show. 9.30 Albion Night More from the Seagulls’ weekly show. 10.30 News 10.50 Sport News 10.55 Weather 11.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis Filmed live at the Latest Music Bar in Brighton. 12.00am News 12.20 Sport News 12.25 Weather 12.30 The Vote 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 Albion Night 2.30 Albion Night 3.30 Albion Night 4.30 News 4.50 Sport News 4.55 Weather 5.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Claimed And Shamed 11.30 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.40 Christmas Kitchen With James Martin 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Tina is at her lowest ebb, but will she make the right decision? 8.00 BBC Music Awards Chris Evans and Fearne Cotton present the first ever BBC Music Awards live from Earl’s Court Arena, featuring some of the biggest songs of the year performed on a spectacular stage by an incredible line-up including Coldplay, One Direction, Ed Sheeran, Paloma Faith, Calvin Harris, Take That, George Ezra, Ella Henderson, Labrinth, Clean Bandit and surprise guests. Celebrating an amazing year in music across the BBC, awards to be presented on the night include British Artist of the Year, International Artist of the Year and Song of the Year. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Canterbury in Kent. Among the panelists are Labour’s shadow international development secretary Mary Creagh MP, the leader of UKIP Nigel Farage MEP and Russell Brand. 11.35 This Week Andrew Neil looks at the political week with Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Claimed And Shamed 7.35 Oxford Street Revealed 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10.05 Close Calls: On Camera 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 1.10 The Blue Planet 2.10 The Great British Bake Off 3.10 A Place To Call Home 3.55 The World’s Most Photographed: Adolf Hitler 4.25 The Making Of Modern Britain 5.25 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents all the backstage gossip. 7.00 James May’s Cars Of The People James reveals the cars that brought power and prestige to the people. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Cookery competition. It is the last of the semi-finals. 9.00 The Fall Crime drama series set in Northern Ireland. As the investigation tightens around Paul Spector, he makes a bold break for cover. However, his recklessness is finally catching up with him, leading to deadly consequences. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard offers his unique and quirky take on the week’s global headlines and bizarre news stories. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Fruit And Veg Market: Inside New Spitalfields Successive waves of immigration have brought new people to New Spitalfields market in east London. 12.20am Sign Zone: Domestic Abuse: Caught On Camera Panorama 12.50 Sign Zone: World’s Greatest Food Markets 4.00 How To Build 1 4.30 How To Build 2 5.00 House Of Sound F5.30 Life On Planet Ant

ITV1

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Christmas With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Bernice is envious of Nicola’s news. 7.30 The Diversity Deficit: Tonight Are British workplaces reflecting the ethnic makeup of our country, and how can we in the UK tackle the employment gap between white and ethnic minority communities across business? 8.00 Emmerdale Belle’s actions leave Edna shaken. Finn and Victoria’s night ends unexpectedly. 8.30 Paul O’Grady: For The Love Of Dogs Paul O’Grady continues his time with the staff and canines at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home. 9.00 The Lost Honour Of Christopher Jefferies Conclusion of a two-part drama based on a true story. After Christopher Jefferies has been vilified by the national press, the last thing he wants to do is step back into the limelight. But as it becomes apparent that things will not return to normal, he embarks on a fight to clear his name. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.10 River Monsters Extreme fishing. 11.40 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 The Diversity Deficit: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Kirstie’s Home For Christmas 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tegan is shocked by Dr S’Avage’s diagnosis, while old habits die hard for Tony and Sinead. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces Property design series with architect George Clarke. George meets Adam, a Cumbrian farmer turning a 70s Bedford fire truck into a mobile shop. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital in south west London. Seven-year-old Freddie is brought to A&E after falling several metres from a tree in his garden. 10.00 Babylon Comedy drama series. With tension in the capital rising in the aftermath of the nightclub shooting, Banjo reassures a nervous Robbie ahead of the internal police investigation. 11.05 Skint Observational documentary series following residents of the East Marsh area of Grimsby who are living with the effects of long-term unemployment. 12.10am Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.00 One Born Every Minute 1.50 The Billion Pound Base: Dismantling Camp Bastion 2.45 A&E In The War Zone 3.40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.35 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.45am Children’s television 6.45 Pip Ahoy! 7.00 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.25 FILM: Three Wise Women (2010) 1.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 FILM: Dear Santa (2011) 3.30 FILM: It’s Christmas, Carol! (2012) 5.20 Chinese Food In Minutes 5.30 5 News 6.00 Home And Away Nate repents his actions and tells Hannah that he is committed to Sophie. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked consumer show showcasing the latest technology. 8.00 The Railway: First Great Western Documentary series following the staff of First Great Western. In this episode, as the Six Nations Rugby Championship kicks off, in Cardiff, Dave and the team try to get thousands of rowdy fans home after a night on the town. The depot teams have to transport their rolling stock around the broken Dawlish mainline and rookie Station Manager Joe has his hands full on his first Saturday night shift at London Paddington when the last train to Wales breaks down. 9.00 Britain’s Bloodiest Dynasty See highlights. 10.00 Braveheart: The True Story Documentary. A look at how close Mel Gibson’s epic film is to the true story of Sir William Wallace. 11.00 Who Killed Tutankhamun? Investigation into the ancient mystery surrounding the death of Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamun. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 Forever. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Alien 3 (1992) 12.15am NCIS: Los Angeles 1.15 Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride: Christmas On Ice 9.00 FILM: Armageddon (1998) 11.20 EastEnders 11.50 Family Guy 12.15am Family Guy 12.35 Family Guy 1.00 Our War: Goodbye Afghanistan 2.30 How Safe Are My Drugs? 3.25 Life Is Toff

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1979 8.00 Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey 9.00 Castles: Britain’s Fortified History 10.00 Puppy Love 10.30 Spike Milligan: Assorted Q 11.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes 12.00am The Secrets Of Quantum Physics 1.00 Top Of The Pops: 1979

1.15pm You’ve Been Framed! 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed: Kids! 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! A-Z 8.00 I’m A Celeb: Stars Of Oz 9.00 Scorpion 10.00 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special 11.00 FILM: Keith Lemon: The Film (2012) 12.50am Two And A Half Men (x2)

10.50am A Touch Of Frost 12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.00 Faith In The Future 4.35 French Fields 5.10 George And Mildred 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Wycliffe 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 The Best Of Royal Variety 10.00 Secret Smile 11.35 The Vice 12.50am A Touch Of Frost

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 9.30 2 Broke Girls 10.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (x2) 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube

11.45am FILM: The Moonraker (1958) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Kirstie’s Crafty Christmas 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Naked Village 10.00 My Daughter The Teenage Nudist 11.10 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.15am The Naked Village

11.00am Kim (1950) 1.15pm Passport To Pimlico (1949) 3.00 The Big Trees (1952) 4.50 Merrill’s Marauders (1962) 6.50 The Secret Life Of Bees (2008) 9.00 G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009) 11.20 Wild Bill (2011) 1.15am Jennifer’s Body (2009) 3.25 Close

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FRIDAY 12 Mary Berry’s Absolute Christmas Favourites BBC2, 8.30pm Time to start pulling together your festive treats and yummy delights before the fridge is too full and the kitchen becomes a war zone battling with an overly-ambitious turkey. Let Mary Berry take you in hand, with this two-part series in which she shares all of her favourite Crimbo recipes. Om!

Modern Toss Latest TV, 10pm Always subversive, always funny, and fabulously local, Modern Toss kicks up a stink and draws our attention to a world gone belly up. Combining comedy animation and live action, as well as a fair dollop of swearing, these guys don’t pull their punches – which is just as well!

Bad Education BBC3, 10pm Every clumsy kid’s favourite day – Sports Day – has arrived at Abbey Grove. And Fraser has hired the most inappropriate sports teacher ever to oversee events, natch. Alfie is far more interested in this being the perfect opportunity to challenge Miss Gulliver’s ex-boyfriend to an endurance event. Boys ...

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 Best Of Brighton Lights 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Vote 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00pm Albion Night 1.00 Albion Night 2.00 Albion Night 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis

6.00pm News The latest local news plus national and international updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 The Newspapers 7.00 Brighton Lights A nightly entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 News 7.50 Sport News 7.55 Weather 8.00 The Vote 8.30 News 9.00 Bored Gamers Greg and Jim present a weekly show for gaming enthusiasts. 10.00 Modern Toss The stink of excellence in a world gone tits-up! Comedy animation and live-action series. Lots of swearing. 10.30 StageUp Unplugged 11.00 Noise Reel Bmusic’s David Elphick and Catherine Sear amplify a wave of music news and entertainment with partners BN1 magazine providing local listings. 12.00am Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis 1.00 Under The Radar 1.30 Bored Gamers 2.30 Modern Toss 3.00 StageUp Unplugged 3.30 Live At The Latest: Martin Harley & Sam Lewis 4.30 yourgardenday: Live At The Latest 5.30 Noise Reel Extra

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Claimed And Shamed 11.30 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.40 Christmas Kitchen With James Martin 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook The comedy legends return. 8.00 EastEnders Ian is shocked when he learns the truth, but will he keep the news to himself? 8.30 Citizen Khan Sitcom. The day of the wedding of Mr Khan’s daughter Shazia to ‘pakora short of a picnic’ Amjad has finally arrived, but all is not well in the Khan household. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular satirical news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Martin Clunes, and panellists Reginald D Hunter and Kirsty Wark. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom featuring happy-go-lucky Lee, his landlady Lucy and their friends. Flying off on a summer holiday, Lucy and Daisy endure the worst flight of their lives when Lee gets a bad case of the jitters on the plane. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham’s guests are Jim Carrey, Jude Law, Tamsin Greig, and Nicole Scherzinger. 11.20 Cuckoo Comedy series. 11.50 EastEnders 1.45am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.50 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Claimed And Shamed 7.35 Oxford Street Revealed 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10.05 Children’s Hospital 10.35 The Travel Show 11.00 News 11.30 World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 1.10 The Blue Planet 2.10 The Great British Bake Off 3.10 A Place To Call Home 3.55 The World’s Most Photographed: Marilyn Monroe 4.25 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 5.25 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball takes a sneak peek into rehearsals. 7.00 The Home That 2 Built Series which trawls through the archives to see how BBC Two has been a guide to shifting lifestyle trends in contemporary Britain. 8.00 Mastermind The subjects are Cary Grant, the CSS Alabama, the Masters of Rome novels of Colleen McCullough and Marc Almond. 8.30 Mary Berry’s Absolute Christmas Favourites See highlights. 9.00 Canterbury Cathedral The first in a series covering a year in the life of Canterbury Cathedral. The new archbishop Justin Welby celebrates his first Christmas, and the cathedral’s Great South Window is taken down for restoration. 10.00 QI Quiz show. Stephen Fry seeks out the truth about liars with Sara Pascoe, Jack Whitehall, Adam Hills and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic pop quiz. . 11.35 FILM: Dead Poets Society (1989) Starring Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, Ethan Hawke. Drama about an unconventional English teacher and his impact on an elite Vermont boys’ academy. 1.40am Sign Zone: Question Time

ITV1

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Christmas With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle is pushed further than ever. 7.30 Coronation Street Is Alya’s secret about to be revealed? David’s trust in Kylie is tested. 8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show Martin Lewis and Saira Khan present the money-saving series with consumer tips in time for Christmas. Today, they investigate the absurdity of the rules around buying train tickets. 8.30 Coronation Street Kal lays down the law with Alya. Do David and Kylie have a future? 9.00 A Night In With Olly Murs Singer Olly Murs is joined by standup comedian and actor John Bishop, TV presenter - and Olly’s former Xtra Factor cohort - Caroline Flack, and actress and singer Nicole Scherzinger for a one-off entertainment extravaganza. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 FILM: Casino Royale (2006) Starring Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judi Dench. Actionpacked ‘reboot’ of the James Bond series. The newly-qualified 00 agent is sent on his first mission, investigating a banker suspected of financing international terrorism. 1.15am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.15am The King Of Queens 6.40 The King Of Queens 7.05 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Frasier 10.00 Nigella Bites Christmas Special 11.00 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm News 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.00 Come Dine With Me 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Holly makes a devastating discovery but what will she do about it? Tegan’s world crumbles around her. Diane makes a decision about her future with Tony. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. US science-fiction drama series about secret agents at work in the Marvel universe. Coulson and team find themselves in a face-off against Hydra to uncover an ancient secret. 9.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular shows. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan is joined by Stephen Fry, Micky Flanagan and Clare Balding. Music comes from Gorgon City. 11.05 Toast Of London Sitcom. An old flame of Toast’s, Lorna Wynde, turns up in London. 11.40 FILM: Sightseers (2012) Starring Alice Lowe, Eileen Davies, Steve Oram, Tony Way. Dark comedy about a seemingly ordinary Midlands couple who take a break exploring the British countryside. 1.10am FILM: Another Stakeout (1993) 3.00 Boss 4.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.55 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.50 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems

Channel Five

6.00am Children’s television 7.10 The Mr Men Show 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.30 FILM: Hats Off To Christmas (2013) 1.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 FILM: Hitched For The Holidays (2012) 3.30 FILM: The Battle Of The Bulbs (2010) 5.20 Chinese Food In Minutes 5.30 5 News 6.00 Home And Away Sasha helps Matt to draw up a study plan that will allow him to spend time with Gray, but Gray’s response is that she is trying to change him. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 World Strongman Championship Highlights of the 2014 Masters World Strongman Championships. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Reality series following a group of brave men and women as they undertake one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. 9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild Ben meets a 40-year-old former communications manager who gave up her old life to train huskies in the Swedish Arctic Circle. Gaynor and her husband Milos live in a hand-built cabin with no running water and teach Ben how to handle himself and the dogs in temperatures of up to minus 30 degrees. 10.00 Body Of Proof Drama series. Megan is surprised to find no body in her father’s coffin and when she looks up his records, she discovers they are also missing. 10.55 NCIS: LA US drama series. Callen’s cover is blown. 11.50 Access A daily round-up of showbiz news and gossip. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 The Gadget Show 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 House Doctor (x3) 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

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11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 11.00 Britcam: Emergency On Our Streets 12.00am NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.15 Atlantis 8.00 Motorway Cops 9.00 Generation Sex: Secrets Of South America 10.00 Bad Education. See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x4) 12.30am Some Girls 1.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 1.30 Bad Education

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Choir Of The Year 2014 9.00 Queen - Days Of Our Lives (x2) 11.00 Great American Rock Anthems: Turn It Up To 11 12.00am Even More Guitar Heroes At The BBC 1.00 Queen Days Of Our Lives 2.00 Queen - Days Of Our Lives 3.00 Great American Rock Anthems: Turn It Up To 11

12.15pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.15 You’ve Been Framed! 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed At Christmas 7.00 The Best Of You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! Coming Out 9.00 FILM: Hot Fuzz (2007) 11.25 FILM: Little Man (2006) 1.20am Warren United

8.25am The Darling Buds Of May 9.35 Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.05 Faith In The Future 4.40 French Fields 5.15 Rising Damp 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Secret Smile 11.35 The Vice 12.40am A Touch Of Frost

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Waterboy (1999) 10.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.45 Tattoos After Dark 12.15am Bad Robots

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 6.50 Location, Location, Location Australia 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Season Of The Witch (2010) 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Christmas Special 11.40 Father Ted (x3) 1.20am Embarrassing Bodies

11.00am Shenandoah (1965) 1.10pm Dr Strangelove (1964) 3.10 Hombre (1967) 5.25 The Belles Of St Trinian’s (1955) 7.15 How She Move (2007) 9.00 This Means War (2012) 10.55 Hobo With A Shotgun (2011) 12.40am MacGruber (2010) 2.25 Bruno (2009) 4.00 Close

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SATURDAY 13 BWC British Wrestling Weekly Latest TV, 8.30pm American wrestling has had the lion’s share of the attention for years, ever since Giant Haystacks turned in his straw and Big Daddy turned his thought to grandkids. No more! Catch up on all of the latest happenings from the world of the British Wrestling Coalition. Oh yeah!

The X Factor ITV1, 8.30pm It’s finals weekend! Eeeekk!!! Who would’ve thought after seeing that first shy audition in a room with just cameras, crew and judges would end up with these three finalists singing their hearts out to 10,000 at Wembley? Cor! Tonight sees three become two, and tomorrow holds the key to the all-out X Factor winner.

Hawaii Five-O Sky1, 8pm When the music starts you may feel the need to stand on the sofa facing one end, balancing with your arms out and pretend to surf in time with the theme tune. Best not do this. The sofa springs aren’t as young as they were. The team investigate the murder of a couple, and McGarrett is reunited with Aunt Deb.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Noise Reel 9.00 Matchday Breakfast 11.00 Matchday Breakfast 1.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 2.00 Matchday Breakfast 4.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 5.00 Post Feature 5.30 Cook It!

6.00 The Newspapers 6.30 Best Of Brighton Lights 7.00 Brighton Lights A nightly entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 You Make It, We Show It! 8.00 News 8.20 Sport News 8.25 Weather 8.30 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 9.30 Latest News 10.00 Matt Whistler’s Trip Out 10.30 Bookenders 11.00 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 11.30 Bored Gamers 12.30am News 12.50 Sport News 12.55 Weather 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 FilmFest on 8 3.30 Bored Gamers 4.30 News 4.50 Sport News 4.55 Weather 5.00 You Make It, We Show It! 5.30 Under The Radar

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 12.50 Saturday Sportsday 1.00 Gymnastics World Cup 3.00 Cycling: Track World Cup 4.30 Final Score 5.10 A Question Of Sport 5.40 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00 Pointless Celebrities Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a special celebrity number 1s edition of the quiz. Featuring Paul Young and Carol Decker, Sheila Ferguson and Dana, Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott and Keith Duffy and Mikey Graham. 6.50 Strictly Come Dancing Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman invite you to join them for the semi-final of Strictly Come Dancing! Fifteen couples started the competition back in September but, three months on and hundreds of dances later they have been whittled down to just five. 8.25 Atlantis Drama series. The gang find themselves dispersed around the ancient necropolis and soon realize they are not alone - the space is crawling with a magical army of the undead. 9.10 Casualty The team deal with an incident at the cathedral, Lofty helps a patient who thinks he is Jesus and Honey reveals her secret. 10.00 The National Lottery Live 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Dan Walker presents highlights of the day’s seven Premier League games. 11.55 The Football League Show Ipswich are building a convincing case for promotion. 1.15am FILM: Black Eagle (1988) 2.50 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.55 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Timmy Time 6.10 Timmy Time 6.25 Shaun The Sheep 6.30 Hacker Time 7.00 All Over The Place 7.30 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 8.00 Marrying Mum And Dad 2 8.30 Junior MasterChef: 2014 (x3) 10.00 Deadly Pole To Pole: The Complete Journey (x2) 11.00 The Blue Planet 12.00pm James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 12.20 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 1.20 The Rockford Files 2.05 FILM: Funny Girl (1968) 4.30 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 5.30 Restoring England’s Heritage 6.00 Secrets Of The Castle With Ruth, Peter And Tom The team delves deeper into the secrets of the skilled communities who built medieval castles. 7.00 Flog It! This edition of the antiques series comes from the impressive surroundings of Todmorden Town Hall in Yorkshire. 8.00 Perry And Croft: Made In Britain Series looking at how the comedies of Jimmy Perry and David Croft became a unique chronicle of Britain in the 20th century. 8.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. The van transporting the platoon breaks down outside what looks like a deserted house. 9.00 QI XL Quiz show. Stephen Fry hosts with Sara Pascoe, Jack Whitehall, Adam Hills and Alan Davies. 9.45 Tomorrow’s Worlds: The Unearthly History Of Science Fiction Dominic Sandbrook concludes his exploration of the most innovative and imaginative of all genres by considering science fiction’s most alluring theme - time travel. 10.45 FILM: Let Me In (2010) Starring Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Cara Buono. Horror based on John Ajvide Lindqvist’s vampire novel. 12.35am FILM: Forbidden Planet (1956)

ITV1

6.00am The Aquabats! Super Show! 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Pat & Stan 6.40 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures (x2)7.05 Canimals 7.10 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.15 Sooty 7.25 Mr Bean 7.40 Text Santa: Little Helpers 7.45 Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H. 8.10 Text Santa: Little Helpers 8.15 Horrid Henry 8.30 The Munch Box 9.25 Dinner Date 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.15 News 11.20 Storage Hoarders 12.20pm Columbo: Fade In To Murder 1.55 FILM: Mannequin (1987) 3.50 FILM: Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban (2004) 6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.40 ITV News; Weather 6.55 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates more funny home videos filmed by viewers, while giving a wedgie to celebrity culture. 7.25 The Chase: Christmas Special Bradley Walsh hosts a very special Christmas edition of the hit quiz show, where four well-known celebrities have to work together to try and win thousands of pounds for charity. Can they outwit all four festive Chasers? The celebrities are actor and writer Steve Pemberton, Coronation Street’s Paula Lane, Educating Yorkshire’s Mr Burton and comedian and actor Ben Miller. 8.30 The X Factor See highlights. 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan’s guests this week are actor and comedian James Corden, Mad Men’s Jon Hamm, Through the Keyhole host Keith Lemon and former X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos who opens up about a controversial year. There is also music from chartsmashing style queen Paloma Faith. 11.40 ITV News; Weather 11.55 FILM: Balls Of Fury (2007) Starring Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez, Maggie Q. Slapstick sports comedy. 1.30am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.10am NFL: Rush Zone 6.35 Trans World Sport 7.30 Men’s Health Survival Of The Fittest 7.55 The Morning Line 9.00 Weekend Kitchen 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm The Simpsons 12.30 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Come Dine With Me 4.25 Come Dine With Me 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.25 Come Dine With Me 5.55 Channel 4 News 6.00 100 Greatest Toys With Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross presents a countdown of the nation’s favourite toys and games, from Action Man to Trivial Pursuit, as chosen by Channel 4 viewers. Inventors and toy-makers tell the inside stories of their creations and success, while today’s celebrities, authors, actors and journalists reveal what it was that made them love a particular toy or game. 9.00 FILM: Hope Springs (2012) Starring Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, Steve Carell, Jean Smart, Ben Rappaport, Marin Ireland. Romantic comedy. After 30 years of marriage, a middle-aged couple attends an intense, week-long marriage guidance session to try and resurrect their lifeless relationship. 11.00 FILM: An Officer And A Gentleman (1982) Starring Richard Gere, Debra Winger, David Keith, Robert Loggia, Lisa Blount, Lisa Eilbacher, Louis Gossett Jr. Romantic drama set against the backdrop of a tough training school for American navy pilots. One of the new intake falls foul of the hard-as-nails drill sergeant but takes it on the chin and finds the additional strength to help a fellow student who is feeling the pressure. 1.20am FILM: Q And A (1990) 3.35 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.45 NFL: Rush Zone

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Wanda And The Alien 8.40 Zack And Quack 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 LazyTown 9.45 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.20 Access 10.30 World Strongman Championship 11.25 FILM: Ice Age 2: The Meltdown (2006) 1.00pm FILM: The Christmas Bunny (2010) 2.45 FILM: Angels And Ornaments (2014) 4.30 FILM: Mrs Miracle 2: Miracle In Manhattan (2010) 6.30 FILM: Mistletoe Over Manhattan (2011) Starring Tedde Moore, Tricia Helfer. Seasonal fantasy yarn. Sensing that her workaholic husband is too exhausted to maintain his Christmas spirit, Mrs Claus heads to New York, the city where they first fell in love. She soon meets a kind but lonely police officer who is going through a divorce and hires her as the family’s nanny. 8.15 My Crazy Christmas Obsession First of a two-part documentary featuring people who take Christmas decorations to a whole new level. 9.05 5 News Weekend 9.10 TV’s 50 Greatest Magic Tricks A countdown of the greatest TV magic tricks of all time. From the astonishing set pieces of Penn and Teller to the mindbending of Derren Brown and the street magic of David Blane, be prepared to be amazed and mystified. Contributions come from magic’s greatest stars, including Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, new magician wonderkid Dynamo, Penn and Teller, and magic fans Joe Pasquale, Stephen Mulhern, and Dick and Dom. 12.05am SuperCasino 3.10 Gotham 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Angels Of Jarm 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 Angels Of Jarm 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Roary The Racing Car Victoria Nangle

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4.00pm Penguins Of Madagascar Special 4.30 Get On Up Special 5.00 Portrait Artist Of The Year 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 8.00 Hawaii Five-0. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Alien Resurrection (1997) 11.10 A League Of Their Own 12.10am Hawaii Five-0 1.10 NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Top Gear 9.10 Sherlock 10.40 Live At The Apollo 11.10 Family Guy 11.35 Family Guy 11.55 Family Guy 12.15am Family Guy 12.35 Family Guy 12.55 American Dad! 1.20 Some Girls 1.45 Sweat The Small Stuff 2.15 Live At The Apollo 2.45 In Deep 3.00 How Safe Are My Drugs?

7.00pm Ice Age Giants 8.00 Sex And Sensibility: The Allure Of Art Nouveau 9.00 Inspector Montalbano 10.50 The Richest Songs In The World 12.20am Sounds Of The Sixties (x2) 1.20 Top Of The Pops: 1979 1.55 Ice Age Giants 2.55 Sex And Sensibility: The Allure Of Art Nouveau

11.20am The Cube: Celebrity Special 12.20pm You’ve Been Framed! 12.50 FILM: Twins (1988) 3.00 FILM: Secret Santa (2003) 4.50 You’ve Been Framed At Christmas! (x2) 7.00 FILM: Pearl Harbor (2001) 10.35 The Xtra Factor: Final 11.35 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special 12.35am The X Factor

6.40am Agatha Christie’s Marple 8.45 Columbo: Troubled Waters 10.50 The Darling Buds Of May (x2) 1.00pm A Touch Of Frost 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 5.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 7.00 Rosemary And Thyme 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.00am Bomb Girls

1.00pm FILM: First Daughter (2004) 3.15 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts 3.30 Made In Chelsea 4.35 Melissa & Joey (x2) 5.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (x5) 9.00 FILM: The Mechanic (2011) 10.50 Rude Tube 11.55 The Inbetweeners (x2) 1.05am The Cleveland Show (x5)

3.50pm FILM: It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) 6.30 The Floods That Foiled New Year: Caught On Camera 7.35 The Year Britain Froze 8.40 Britain’s Most Extreme Weather 9.45 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Christmas Special 11.55 The Naked Village 12.55am The World’s Most Extreme

11.00am Hills Of Home (1948) 1.00pm Runaway Bride (1999) 3.20 Silent Running (1972) 5.10 Big (1988) 7.15 Post Grad (2009) 9.00 Safe House (2012) 11.15 Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (2011) 1.05am Working Girl (1988) 3.25 Close

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SUNDAY 14 Sports Personality Of The Year 2014 BBC1, 8pm After another cracking year of sporting drama and high jinks, Gary Lineker, Clare Balding and Gabby Logan present a round up of the ten contenders for the big prize at the Hydra Arena. With the event packed with stars from every sporting field, there are seven other gongs to be won too.

FilmFest On 8 Latest TV, 9pm Get stocked up on films to watch over the Christmas period – whether it’s ones to see while snowed in with the family, or last minute present ideas for those hard-to-buy-for friends and relatives. Jessica Kellgren Hayes guides us through an evening of movies long and short, old and new. Tuck in!

Modern Family Sky1, 8pm Fed up with Christmas yet? Then tuck into this Halloween special of Modern Family. Claire has simply got too much on at work and so allows Phil to take over the Halloween celebrations. You know how he’s so quiet and underplayed anyway ... things are bound to stay within health and safety rules, right?

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Newspapers 6.30 The Newspapers 7.00 The Vote 7.30 The Vote 8.00 The Vote 8.30 The Vote 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 The Newspapers 10.30 At The Amex 11.30 Brighton Lights 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 At The Amex 2.30 Best of Brighton Lights 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Growing Concerns 5.30 News 5.50 Sport News 5.55 Weather 6.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 6.30 At The Amex 7.30 Hindsight: The Past That Moves You 8.15 Noise Reel Extra 8.30 News 8.50 Sport News 8.55 Weather 9.00 FilmFest on 8 Presenter Jessica Kellgren-Hayes introduces Latest TV’s very own weekly film festival, a dedicated film night for movies, shorts, and brand new work from filmmakers. 11.00 Noise Reel Extra: Jo Harman 11.15 Noise Reel Extra 11.30 The Buzz With Chuck Thomas 12.00am News 12.20 Sport News 12.25 Weather 12.30 FilmFest on 8 2.30 News 2.50 Sport News 2.55 Weather 3.00 FilmFest on 8 5.00 News 5.20 Sport News 5.25 Weather 5.30 Growing Concerns

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... Dame Tanni Grey-Thompson 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Bargain Hunt 2.15 Homes Under The Hammer 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.15 Lifeline 4.25 Songs Of Praise 5.00 Pointless Celebrities 5.50 BBC News 6.10 South East Today 6.20 Countryfile Ellie Harrison and Matt Baker are in the Clwydian range which spans Denbighshire and Flintshire in North Wales. Ellie discovers how this landscape influenced 18th-century artist Richard Wilson, and visits a local primary school where the pupils are turning a tidy profit by running their own chicken farm. 7.20 Strictly Come Dancing The contest nears its conclusion in another nail-biting results show, which reveals the four couples who have made it to the grand final. The judges’ scores and public votes have been combined and the two couples with the lowest score will dance off against each other, before five couples become four. And the professional dancers will also be taking to the floor with another stunning routine. 8.00 Sports Personality Of The Year 2014 See highlights. 10.20 BBC News 10.35 South East Today 10.45 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman presents highlights of today’s two Premier League matches. 11.45 The Apprentice Lord Sugar summons the candidates to tell them their next task. 12.45am FILM: It’s A Wonderful Afterlife (2010) 2.20 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.25 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Animal Park 6.30 Match Of The Day At 50 7.35 Life In A Cottage Garden With Carol Klein 8.05 Countryfile 9.00 The Football League Show 10.20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.50 Rick Stein’s Spanish Christmas 12.50pm James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 1.00 The Rockford Files 1.50 FILM: Funny Lady (1975) 4.05 FILM: Emma (1996)

6.00 Sports Personality Of The Year At 60 Gary Lineker looks back on the 60-year history of BBC Sports Personality of the Year. HRH Princess Anne, David Beckham, Lord Sebastian Coe, Sir Bradley Wiggins, Paula Radcliffe, Zara Phillips and Sir Steve Redgrave are just some of the winners who recall fond memories of the time they won the main award. 7.00 James May’s Toy Stories: Flight Club In this Toy Stories Christmas special, James May gets to the heart of the nation’s childhood love affair with the model plane. 8.00 FILM: What Women Want (2000) Starring Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt, Marisa Tomei, Alan Alda, Ashley Johnson. Romantic comedy about a chauvinistic advertising executive who acquires the ability to hear what women are thinking. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard offers his unique and quirky take on the week’s global headlines and news stories. 10.30 FILM: Mrs Henderson Presents (2005) Starring Judi Dench, Bob Hoskins, Kelly Reilly, Will Young, Christopher Guest. Musical comedy directed by Stephen Frears. 1937, and widowed Laura Henderson buys a derelict West End theatre and hires an impresario to run it. 12.10am FILM: A Walk To Remember (2002) 1.45 Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.45 Sign Zone: Holby City

ITV1

6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures (x2) 7.05 Canimals 7.10 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.15 Sooty 7.25 Mr Bean 7.40 Text Santa: Little Helpers 7.45 Ultimate Spider-Man 8.10 Text Santa: Little Helpers 8.15 Horrid Henry 8.30 Big Time Rush 9.00 The Aquabats! Super Show! 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 10.25 Murder, She Wrote 11.25 News 11.30 FILM: Problem Child (1990) 1.05pm Tipping Point 2.05 You’ve Been Framed! 2.35 The X Factor 4.40 FILM: Death Becomes Her (1992) 6.35 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Catchphrase: Christmas Special Stephen Mulhern gets everyone in the festive mood with this celebrity special of the muchloved game show. Celebrities Warwick Davis, Katie Price and Christopher Biggins say what they see. 8.00 The X Factor Results Following last night’s performances, the final two contestants must battle it out to win a life changing record contract. After a nail-biting wait, the one with the most public votes will be crowned the series winner in front of an audience of 10,000 at Wembley Arena. 10.05 FILM: The Holiday (2006) Starring Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Eli Wallach, Edward Burns, Rufus Sewell. Seasonal romantic comedy about two single women on opposite sides of the Atlantic who, depressed at their love lives in the run-up to Christmas, agree to swap houses for the season in a bid to give themselves the festive break they deserve. 11.05 ITV News; Weather 11.20 FILM: The Holiday Conclusion to the Christmassy film. 12.45am The Store 2.30 Motorsport UK 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.10am NFL: The American Football Show 7.10 How I Met Your Mother 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Jamie’s Comfort Food 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The Big Bang Theory 1.00 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 2.00 The Simpsons 2.30 The Simpsons 3.00 FILM: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 5.00 FILM: Night At The Museum 2 (2009) 7.05 Channel 4 News 7.30 Britain’s Wildest Weather 2014 Using shocking personal testimony and staggering eyewitness footage, this documentary reveals amazing human stories and explains the incredible science behind the wild weather events that devastated our nation this year. Featuring rescues at sea, homes struck by lightning, tornado-destroyed roofs, a car that was underwater for two months, a crazy escape for 500 cows, and sea foam that engulfs a bus. 9.00 Homeland Drama series. The security breach at the embassy has a number of far-reaching consequences. 10.00 FILM: Insidious (2010) Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Lin Shaye, Andrew Astor, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Barbara Hershey, Philip Friedman and Ruben Pla. Horror about a family who try to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further. 12.00am Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan is joined by Stephen Fry, Micky Flanagan and Clare Balding. Music comes from Gorgon City. 1.00 According To Jim 1.25 American Football Live 4.45 NFL: Rush Zone 5.10 Face The Clock 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00am Children’s teelvision 7.50 Milkshake! Monkey 8.00 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Wanda And The Alien 8.35 Mio Mao 8.40 Zack And Quack 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.35 Access 10.45 Police Interceptors 11.45 Police Interceptors 12.40pm FILM: Dear Secret Santa (2013) 2.30 FILM: Deck The Halls (2006) 4.20 FILM: Paper Angels (2014) 6.15 FILM: A Christmas Kiss (2011) Starring Elisabeth Rohm, Laura Breckenridge, Brendan Fehr. Festive romance. 8.00 The ABBA Years Documentary exploring the remarkable success of ABBA, featuring interviews with the band members, footage of tours and stage shows, digitally remastered archive footage and music from 26 of the band’s hit records. 9.00 Michael Buble’s Christmas Special Michael Buble presents a Christmas entertainment special featuring a mix of classic festive songs and special guests. Mary J Blige joins Michael for two numbers including Run, Run Rudolph, while Mariah Carey shares the vocals on classics including All I Want for Christmas is You. 9.55 5 News 10.00 Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs A countdown of the nation’s favourite Christmas songs. Artists, producers and pundits unwrap the greatest gifts that musicians have given to us for Christmases past and present. 1.00am Abba: Live In Concert 2.00 SuperCasino 3.10 World Strongman Championship 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Angels Of Jarm 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 Angels Of Jarm 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Roary The Racing Car Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm Last Man Standing (x2) 2.00 Harrow: A Very British School (x2) 4.00 Futurama 4.30 The Simpsons (x4) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Flash 8.00 Modern Family. See highlights. 8.30 Trollied 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Great TV Mistakes 7.30 Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide 7.40 Doctor Who: The Day Of The Doctor 9.00 Top Gear 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Some Girls 12.00am Sweat The Small Stuff 12.30 How Safe Are My Drugs? 1.30 The Revolution Will Be Televised 2.00 Some Girls

7.00pm The Fairytale Castles Of King Ludwig II With Dan Cruickshank 8.00 Rome: A History Of The Eternal City 9.00 Pompeii: The Mystery Of The People Frozen In Time 10.00 The Sky At Night: The Pillars Of Creation 10.30 Queen Days Of Our Lives (x2) 12.30am Great American Rock Anthems

2.25pm FILM: Santa Baby (2006) 4.15 FILM: Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (2011) 6.00 FILM: The Polar Express (2004) 8.00 Scorpion 9.00 Educating Joey Essex10.00 The Xtra Factor: Final Results 11.00 Through The Keyhole 12.05am FILM: American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006)

6.00am World Kitchen 6.25 A Touch Of Frost 8.15 The Darling Buds Of May 9.25 Heartbeat (x2) 11.35 A Touch Of Frost 1.35pm Rosemary And Thyme 2.40 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.50 Columbo 6.50 Inspector Morse 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cracker (x2) 1.15am FILM: The Count Of Monte Cristo (2002) 3.20 Nightscreen

10.00am Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Made In Chelsea 1.30 FILM: Step Up 3 (2010) 3.50 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts 4.00 Melissa & Joey (x2) 5.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x8) 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.10 Bad Robots 11.40 How I Met Your Mother (x4) 1.35am Rules Of Engagement (x2)

1.40pm Jamie’s Family Christmas (x2) 2.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me Christmas (x5) 8.00 George Clarke’s Amazing Christmas Spaces 9.00 Snowstorm: Britain’s Big Freeze 10.05 The Floods That Foiled New Year: Caught On Camera 11.10 King Of Christmas Lights 12.15am Snowstorm

11.00am Dragoon Wells Massacre (1957) 1.00pm The First Wives Club (1996) 3.05 Anastasia (1997) 5.00 Honey, I Blew Up The Kid (1992) 6.45 Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief (2010) 9.00 Good Will Hunting (1997) 11.25 Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) 1.50am Sweetgrass (2009) 4.00 Close

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MONDAY 15 Bette Midler: One Night Only ITV1, 9pm The Divine Ms M shakes and shimmies her way slap bang all over ITV1, in this razzle dazzle special hosted by Joanna Lumley. Serving up jokes, songs, stories, gossip, all with Midler’s own outrageous style sprinkled liberally over the evening, here’s sparkle for any season.

Gotham Channel Five, 9pm More DC Comics prequel darkness. If ever there was a more honestly corrupt city than Gotham, it’s been lost in the annals of time. Gordon’s clearly been getting too much attention, so he’s reassigned to Arkham Asylum. That’ll be quiet, right? And Selina and her new friend find themselves in trouble.

Some Girls BBC3, 10pm A teenager’s life is never boring, especially when there’s football, boys and petty jealousies to be contended with. Amber is selected to have a trial with Chelsea Ladies football team, much to the annoyance of her mates. Plus, Holli needs help picking a boyfriend to stick with, and Saz has a secret admirer.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Latest Homes Live 8.00 Brighton Lights 8.30 You Make It, We Show It! 9.00 The Newspapers 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 Latest Homes Live 12.00pm At The Amex 1.00 The Vote 1.30 The Newspapers 2.00 The Newspapers 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Latest Homes Live 5.00 Live At The Latest: yourgardenday

6.00 News The latest local news plus national updates. 6.20 Sport News 6.25 Weather 6.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing Mike Mendoza presents his entertainment show. 7.00 Best of Brighton Lights 7.30 News 7.50 Sport News 7.55 Weather 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Exceptional Homes 9.00 Cook It! Andrew Kay’s weekly ‘how to’ cookery programme. Sourcing local, good value, seasonal produce and with guest chefs. 9.30 Ordinary Lives 10.00 Hindsight: The Shorts 10.15 Hindsight: The Shorts 10.30 News 10.50 Sport News 10.55 Weather 11.00 Bored Gamers 12.00am News 12.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 1.00 Best of Brighton Lights 1.30 News 1.50 Sport News 1.55 Weather 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Exceptional Homes 3.00 Cook It! 3.30 Ordinary Lives 4.00 Hindsight: The Shorts 4.15 Hindsight: The Shorts 4.30 News 5.00 Live At The Latest: yourgardenday

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Operation Meet The Street 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.30 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.40 Christmas Kitchen With James Martin 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Fake Britain This episode looks at the fake teeth whitening kits that can destroy your teeth, counterfeit charity bags, and the trade in fake Second World War memorabilia. 8.00 EastEnders Phil makes a shocking discovery. 8.30 The Innocent Serial Killer? Panorama Scots nurse Colin Norris, dubbed the Angel of Death, is serving a minimum of 30 years in prison for the murder of four elderly patients and the attempted murder of a fifth. Reporter Mark Daly reveals new evidence that casts serious doubt on his convictions, and could pave the way for him to be set free. 9.00 Wild Weather With Richard Hammond Richard Hammond travels the globe in an attempt to reveal the hidden world of weather. Richard Hammond investigates the crucial role temperature plays. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the popular satirical news quiz. 11.20 Citizen Khan Sitcom. 11.50 The Graham Norton Show Graham’s guests are Jim Carrey, Jude Law and Tamsin Greig. 12.35am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.40 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Claimed And Shamed 7.35 Oxford Street Revealed 8.20 Glorious Gardens From Above 9.05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 10.05 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.25 Ready Steady Cook 2.10 The Great British Bake Off 3.10 A Place To Call Home 3.55 The World’s Most Photographed 4.25 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain 5.25 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents backstage gossip and behind-thescenes action from the weekend. 7.00 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes Michelin-starred chef Tom Kerridge looks at lunches 7.30 The Perfect Morecambe & Wise Christmas Special The very best moments from Eric and Ernie’s festive specials. 8.00 University Challenge Two more student teams fight it out to get through to the quarter-final stage. 8.30 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell. 9.00 Canterbury Cathedral Series covering a year in the life of Canterbury Cathedral. Crisis point has been reached for cathedral repairs and canon Nick, the treasurer, can only hope his application for a staggering £12 million Heritage Lottery Grant is successful. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Pop quiz. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Great Continental Railway Journeys 12.20am Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.20 Sign Zone: Wonders Of The Monsoon 4.00 Around The World In 80 Faiths 5.00 In My Shoes Plus: Germany 5.20 William Whiskerson 5.30 Virtually There

ITV1

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Christmas With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Diane’s gift to Andy leaves Robert furious. Moira is sickened by Ross’s latest game. Zak tries to make amends with Edna. 7.30 Coronation Street Kylie gets an unwanted visitor. Yasmeen delivers words of wisdom. Has Tracy buried the hatchet? 8.00 Europe - The People’s Poll: Tonight With UKIP on the rise and debate intensifying over our membership of the EU, Fiona Foster reports on what impact four decades of union has had on the UK. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Callum blow Kylie’s cover? Alya rethinks her future with Gary. Financial pressures get to Tracy. 9.00 Bette Midler: One Night Only See highlightd. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan’s guests this week are actor and comedian James Corden, Mad Men’s Jon Hamm, Through the Keyhole host Keith Lemon and former X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos who opens up about a controversial year. There is also music from chartsmashing style queen Paloma Faith. 11.45 All Star Family Fortunes 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.20am The King Of Queens 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.00 Jamie’s Festive Feast 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Heston’s Christmas Feast 1.10 Come Dine With Me: Celebrity Christmas Special 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sienna recruits Nico to do her dirty work when she fears she’s going to lose Dodger. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives Mark Evans catches up with some of the fat, aggressive and difficult dogs featured on Dogs: Their Secret Lives earlier this year. 9.00 Skint Observational documentary series following residents of the East Marsh area of Grimsby who are living with the effects of long-term unemployment. Grimsby was the largest fishing port in the world in the 1950s, but the town is now facing the almost complete loss of the industry. 10.00 Steph And Dom Meet Nigel Farage Documentary special. The much-loved ‘posh couple’ from Gogglebox meet their local MP, Nigel Farage. 10.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson select their favourite bits from the last series of the topical panel show. 11.35 The American Football Show Vernon Kay presents the action from Week 15 of the NFL. 12.30am 24 Hours In A&E 1.25 FILM: The Pervert’s Guide To Ideology (2012) 3.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.35 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.05 Milkshake! Monkey 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.40 FILM: A Perfect Christmas (2012) 1.25pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.30 Home And Away 2.00 FILM: The Real St. Nick (2012) 3.40 FILM: Mr St Nick (2002) 5.30 5 News At 5 6.00 Home And Away Brax works himself into the ground to try to save Casey’s gym so Ricky suggests offering Andy a management role. Maddy struggles with her conscience and Leah gets Tyson to admit that he kidnapped VJ - but when he reveals that he should have been home some time ago, Leah’s anger turns to fear. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked consumer show showcasing the latest technology, presented by Ortis Deley, Jason Bradbury, Jon Bentley and Amy Williams. 8.00 Big Foot: The Missing Evidence Documentary series investigating conspiracy theories. Using the latest analytical techniques, psychology and evolutionary biology, this programme examines the arguments for and against, investigates eyewitness accounts and reveals the prime suspect behind the continuing myths. 9.00 Gotham See highlights. 10.00 Greatest Christmas TV Moments A three-hour countdown of some of Christmas TV’s greatest moments. Highlights include scenes from ‘Only Fools and Horses’, ‘Morecambe and Wise’ and ‘The Royle Family’. 12.55am SuperCasino 3.10 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 House Doctor (x3) 5.35 Wildlife SOS Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Trollied 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.00 Arrow 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Motorway Cops 9.00 Russell Brand: End The Drugs War 10.00 Some Girls. See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Some Girls 12.40 Russell Brand: End The Drugs War 1.40 Our War: Goodbye Afghanistan 3.10 Rude Boys

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 High Flyers: How Britain Took To The Air 9.00 Bullseyes And Beer: When Darts Hit Britain - Timeshift 10.00 Arrows 10.35 Alex Higgins: The People’s Champion 11.35 Castles: Britain’s Fortified History 12.35am Quadrophenia: Can You See The Real Me?

12.45pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.50 Royal Pains 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! A-Z 7.00 The X Factor: Your Top Ten 8.00 You’ve Been Framed At Christmas! 9.00 The Office Xmas Party 10.00 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special 11.00 FILM: Little Man (2006) 1.00am Two And A Half Men (x2)

9.40am Judge Judy (x3) 11.00 The Hound Of The Baskervilles 1.15pm Heartbeat 2.15 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.20 Faith In The Future 4.55 French Fields 5.25 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Wycliffe 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 The Jury 11.00 The Vice 12.05am The Hound Of The Baskervilles

3.00pm My Fair Wedding 4.00 Melissa And Joey 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa And Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Made In Chelsea 10.00 Rude Tube 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am How I Met Your Mother

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 George Clarke’s Amazing Christmas Spaces 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Car S.O.S 10.00 The World’s Most Extreme 11.00 The Mystery Of The Nevada Triangle 12.10am My Daughter The Teenage Nudist 1.15 Car S.O.S

11.00am The Outrage (1964) 1.00pm Storm Over The Nile (1955) 3.10 Comanche Station (1960) 4.40 Gambit (1966) 6.50 Dear John (2010) 9.00 Lockout (2012) 10.50 The Hurt Locker (2008) 1.25am High Hopes (1988) 3.50 Close