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BLINDED BY SCIENCE Be startled and amazed at Brighton’s blindingly good Science Festival page 11

GET YOUR KIT ON Run to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support EATEN BY LIONS Talking time travel and super powers with comedian Lloyd Langford

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EDITOR’S NOTE

cience lessons have come a long way since the school classroom health-and-safety breaching bunsen burner antics of the days of yore ... the horizons have broadened, the questions are weirder and more wonderful, nobody falls asleep in class, and now women’s voices regularly command due respect in the realms of the firing neurons, too. Brighton Science Festival is one long science lesson of the very best kind – multidimensional, spanning 5 February to 1 March and boasting a plethora of brain-engaging talks, events, workshops and exhibitions for the whole family. Wherever you fall on the nerd-o-meter – from bug enthusiast to New Scientist couch potato to Phd physicist – there’ll be something on offer to tickle your grey matter.

And from grey to the brightest colours on the spectrum, VegFest UK comes to the Brighton Centre in March with a veritable feast for your eyes and bellies ... learn for yourselves the full bounty of a meat free diet! There’s comedy, too. Yes – vegans can be funny. The funny continues as Latest’s Victoria Nangle chats shop with Lloyd Langford, the Bare Cheek boys are posing conspiracy theories, and Latest TV’s Richard and Guy blog about the trials, tribulations and well, treats actually, of life in front of the camera lens. Hey, what’s that funny smell? Fetch the fire extinguisher – I’d recognise the reminiscent whiff of burning magnesium any day ... Louise Bevan, Editor Email your comments to editorial@thelatest.co.uk or visit us online at thelatest.co.uk

11 @ Wednesday 18 February 2015 Cafe Scientifique Doors 7.30pm, free – collection made to cover costs Monday 23 February 2015 Riverjuke presents: Woodward + Support Doors 7pm, £7

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Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Latest Homes Commercial Manager Patrick Kneath

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Editor Louise Bevan Staff writers Jo Brooks Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon

> 17 – 23 FEBRUARY 2015 04 Bare Cheek Conspiracy time! 05 Latest People A new exhibition opens at Gallery40 06 Latest News Headlines with Frank le Duc, Tim Ridgway and B&H City Council leader Jason Kitcat 08 Brighton Lights News and chat from Latest TV’s Richard Shayler and Guy Lloyd 10 Celeb City Flipping pancakes; loving fish 11 Brighton Science Festival Ten years of brilliant nerdery 13 Interview Victoria Nangle chats to old-fashioned boy Lloyd Langford 15 Macmillan Cancer Support Be a hero and help raise much-needed funds 16 Brighton Writes Dr Caroline Oprandi talks science; Robert Holden talks Latest TV’s ‘Sketchers’ 17 Kay Town Indulging in creature comforts 17 Competitions Win The Unthanks, I, Malvolio and This Last Tempest tickets 18 Macmillan Garden Trail Want to open your garden this summer? 19 VegFest UK Great comedy and green cuisine comes to the Brighton Centre 20 Hotlist Restaurants, cafes and takeaway listings 21 Cook It! Winners of the Sussex Food & Drink Awards 22 On The Grapevine & Brighton Arty Wine expertise from Stephen Quinn; Alison Krog considers fine art 23 Entertainment News What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music in your city 26 Film & Reviews What’s happening, and what we think of it! 27 TV Listings TV listings for the next seven days

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LATESTWRITES

BARE CHEEK Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

CONSPIRACY TIME With Bare Cheek’s resident conspiracy theorist, Columbo Spencer Greetings, sheeple! Here are a few more snippets from my conspiracies file... World War I? Didn't happen. None of it. You'll notice how everybody who “claims” to have fought in it is now conveniently dead? I rest my case. The whole thing was faked, using actors, manipulated photographs and film footage, and hypnotism. And who was behind it? Step forwards our old friends the Illuminati. World War II (or, as I like to call it,

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World War I) did happen, obviously. But who started it? The Germans? Nope. Poland? No. Russia? Nyet. It was started by none other than Walt Disney. Why? It was an attempt to start another stock market crash so he and his friends could usher in a new world order. Did it work? Perhaps it did, my friends, perhaps it did. How many popes have there been since 1340? Go on, have a guess. Two hundred? Three hundred? You couldn't be more wrong. The real answer is one. That’s right – one. It's been the same bloke for over seven hundred years – one Jan de Gruibert, an alien immortal. Every now and then he pretends to die and changes his physical appearance – the only thing he can't change is his race or sex, and that's why there's never been a black or female pope. April 15th. A perfectly normal date, yes? Just an everyday day of

the year, the same as the other 364 days, eh? Well let's look at some of the events that happened on April 15th shall we? It's the date that the Titanic sank, the date that Abraham Lincoln died after being shot the evening before, the date that insulin first became available to diabetics, and the date that Leonardo Da Vinci was born. And who is the figure that links all these together? Yup, it's J.P. Morgan. Following instructions buried in Leonardo's paintings and drawings, he instructed the Jesuit captain of the Titanic to deliberately sink her, arranged the shooting of Lincoln, and financed the inventing of a drug to counter the effects of an obesity epidemic he himself had, on purpose, helped create. But why? Why? Er, actually I'm not sure why, but I'll get back to you when I think of something. Did you know that nobody with blue eyes died in 9/11? Look it up. Ever watched the Academy Awards, AKA The Oscars? Did you know it's actually a method of communication? Yup, it's the secret way the Rosicrucians communicate with their thousands of sleeper agents worldwide. Just take the first word from every acceptance speech and add them all together if you don't believe me. Oh, and if Bill Pullman ever wins Best Supporting

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Actor – run! That's the signal to exterminate all life on earth. Right, I'd best be off. Actually I'd better go into hiding for a bit, as I suspect the collection of Illuminati stooges, Bilderberg group members and lizard people we laughingly refer to as “the government” are watching me. Catch you later, hombres. C.S. X

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005_LS716_latest people_011_LS466_interview 13/02/2015 15:55 Page 1

PEOPLE

A new exhibition opens at Gallery40

Artist Michael Hutley outside the gallery space

Gallery40

GALLERY40 Four friends who met doing a Fine Art degree at Northbrook College have a group show at Gallery40 in Gloucester Road. Their show is ‘4Ground’ – ‘ground’ representing both a surface to paint on, and the paint which makes the marks. Jill Wilkinson's calm and meditative drawings are of landscape erosion near her home on the Isle of Wight; Enrique Garde-Martin has beautiful painted layerings in both acrylic and encaustic. Ian Boutell makes layered perspex constructions using his highly reflective 'ground' and Michael Hutley's ground is of grids and graphics and plays on words. All artists in 4Ground are calm and grounded in this beautiful gallery space. You can enjoy a visit, then rejoin the buzz of the North Laine and those other grounds – coffee! “This exhibition is an example of how the works of four disparate artists can combine to create a beautiful whole. This is even more surprising given the range of materials and techniques that have been explored from encaustic, sheet acrylic and plaster, as well as pencil, ink and paint on paper and canvas. The stunning work of each artist stands alone, but Michael and Ian’s more structural works and Enrique and Jill’s organic abstractions form a binary opposition that heightens each artist’s work, making 4Ground a real visual treat!” – Livi Scarisbrick, Visitor THE ARTISTS: Ian Boutell Ian Boutell’s abstract paintings are about contrasts, of differences and an underlying unity. They are also about structure and fluidity which reflects his view of the world. He trained and worked as an architect and now an artist whose continuous theme emanates from walking and being in the landscape. Enrique Garde-Martin In some of Enrique Garde-Martin’s work, organic forms are stencilled onto layered coloured backgrounds. Often working en plein air, he works intuitively with no preconceived ideas about form or final outcome. The work initially is a direct response to aspects of the landscape that surrounds him which he then obscures by layering colours on top until gradually the work evolves in a fluid way towards abstraction. Michael Hutley Through painting and photography, Michael Hutley explores the world in which he lives. His work attempts to capture his response to the environment by suspending critical judgement. Eye-catching images and certain activities or events which attract his attention are photographed or drawn, to be worked on later as collages, drawings or paintings. Latterly, Hutley is also interested in his sub-conscious and

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conscious responses to these images and attempts to allow his imagination to affect the final outcome of the work.

(L–R) Ian Boutell, Jill Wilkinson, Enrique Garde-Martin, Michael Hutley

Jill Wilkinson Jill Wilkinson’s works are rooted in the landscape and are often simple, sensitive abstractions of features of a ‘place’ that reflect the pattern of an absent mind escaping the turbulence of daily life. They are initiated by allowing ink and water to flow freely to create abstract compositions. Small lines and symbols stem the randomness of flow and allow a narrative to unfold as motifs separate or drift together. To find out more visit www.gallery40.co.uk or visit the exhibition at Visitors explore the exhibition Gallery40, 40 Gloucester Road, Brighton, BN1 4AQ

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Brighton and Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat Budget setting time for any large organisation is tough at the best of times, what with competing demands to manage and a limited pot of cash to go around. But for councils it is harder than ever right now: we are still expected to deliver over 800 services to our growing number of citizens whilst government slashes our funding. We also have the least freedom to raise finances ourselves of any system of local government in the developed world. In Sweden, local government sets taxes equivalent to 15.9% of GDP, 15.3% in Canada, 10.9% in Germany and 5.8% in France. The proportion of tax set locally in the UK? A waif-like 1.7% which means councils like ours have few choices for raising new income. We do have some discretion over fees and charges, but you can only get so much out of charging more for weddings, funerals and pest control. Other charges, like for parking, are strictly regulated so that any surplus must be spent on transport-related matters. Ours is mainly on the £10 million a year cost of concessionary bus passes for pensioners and those with disabilities. So we have few powers to raise totally new sources of income. We’ve already taken £70 million out of our budget in efficiencies over the last three years, with over £100 million more to be cut regardless of who wins the next election. We have a moral duty to protect services for our most vulnerable residents, our elderly neighbours, our children. That’s why we are proposing a 5.9% council tax referendum to ask your support for putting a bit more in the budget to help protect those essential services. If the just announced 15.8% referendum is good enough for a Labour Police & Crime Commissioner in Bedfordshire, we think 5.9% is a clear and fair ask to protect our most vulnerable through the toughest of times.

LATEST BRIGHTON & HOVE NEWS FRANK LE DUC

THE VOTE

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Government minister Penny Mordaunt visited Shoreham Port last week to see how public funds are creating jobs (L–R) Ron Crank, Penny Mordaunt, Rod Lunn

oastal Communities Minister Penny Mordaunt visited Shoreham Port last week. She came to see the site where a new wharf is being built on a sliver of land that is currently hard to put to good use. The £500,000 wharf should be completed within weeks. It will enable the port to do business with extra ships which, in turn, will create about 10 extra jobs. The minister took a spin in the pilot vessel as she learnt about the benefits of a £100,000 grant from the government through the Regional Growth Fund towards the cost of the wharf. She heard first hand from the port chief executive Rod Lunn and Ron Crank, the chief executive of the Coast to Capital (C2C) Local Enterprise Partnership (LEP). The official party included two people who played a key role behind the scenes in securing the money. C2C strategic director Ian Parkes and growth deal project manager Hayley Shepherd. They are part of a staff of just 12 who cover an astonishingly wide area, stretching from Brighton to Croydon, including Gatwick, West Sussex and the east end of Surrey.

The port’s development director, Peter Davies, said: “To keep the port growing and to meet further demand for importing and exporting goods, more wharfage is required to avoid turning new business inquiries away. Potential customers often have an immediate requirement and therefore the space needs to be available straight away or the business is lost.

I don’t know what the nautical equivalent of shovelready is, but the shovels are ready “The creation of additional space for handling cargo will maintain the continuing growth of the port and provide a better mix of cargo to strengthen the financial position of the port and

reduce the heavy reliance on the importing of building materials. In addition, it will lower handling costs for local exporters and importers.” Penny Mordaunt said; “It’s great to see a project that’s ready to go. People are already being hired. I don’t know what the nautical equivalent of shovel-ready is, but the shovels are ready. The good thing about the Regional Growth Fund is it’s very quick, creating jobs including in the wider economy as well as at the port. It’s a competitive fund so we’ve got confidence in the bids and it’s nice to come and congratulate the winners in person.” A short distance from the new wharf, one of the harbour’s longstanding tenants Skip It will soon leave to make way for the steel business Arcelor Mittal. The change is part of a strategy of ensuring that all tenants are either importing or exporting through the harbour. Parker Steel is just to the west. The company and the port have both invested a considerable sum in building a modern facility which is a testament to the growing confidence in Shoreham. And, if all goes to plan, work could start on the proposed Edgeley Green power station as soon as June. Separately, another pot of government funding has contributed towards the cost of replacing the groynes – they are a key sea defence – just yards to the south of the harbour. The money – again, just a fraction of the cost of the project – has come through Brighton and Hove City Council and Adur District Council. If planning permission is granted, a couple of wind turbines could be installed near the port’s pump house. These would complement the 2,000 Brighton Energy Co-op solar panels which have already been installed on some of the acres of roof space around the harbour. The port spends well into six figures on electricity every year and is looking at how to halve the bill. With an ecology study in the pipeline, and a strong emphasis on all things green, it’s not hard to see how progress is being made towards Shoreham becoming a truly sustainable port. It is also on track to remain one of the economic and employment success stories of the area too.

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Flipping pancakes to bread records at The Creperie; Helena Bonham-Carter backs Fishlove

PANTASTIC

Photos: by John Swannell for Fishlove.org

his Shrove Tuesday (17 February), Brighton pancake mecca and seafront eaterie The Creperie will host a world record breaking attempt of most pancake tosses in one minute. Members of the public are invited to attempt to break the record, currently held by fast flipping Australian celebrity chef Brad Jolly, who rocked up 140 flips in 60 seconds in 2012. The event will take place from 10am until 10pm and each pancake flip session will be timed and noted by owner Pete Bradford. “We are asking as many people to get involved as possible to help break this record. Each person who takes part and buys a crepe at The Creperie will get a complimentary pancake next time they visit us at the Creperie.” The Creperie will make this world record attempt as part of its annual Shrove Tuesday celebrations. On the menu that week, they’re still serving their full menu including Sri Lankan chicken curry galette, their lauded ‘strawberries and cream’ crepe and mouth watering hot wraps. Spread across two floors, The Creperie offers iconic French cuisine, complemented by the very best in local British produce. Be sure to visit!

till on the subject of Brighton restaurants, everyone’s favourite Japanese diner, Moshimo, was back in the headlines last week when they revealed their very latest subject to take part in the incredibly successful charity campaign, Fishlove. The campaign to end overfishing was spearheaded by owners Nicky Rohl and Karl Jones with a little help from Sussex actress Greta Scacchi – who took part in the now iconic first shoot by top snapper Rankin. The campaign’s latest muse, however, is global star Helena Bonham-Carter, who bared all on top of a 27 kilogram tuna supplied and sourced sustainably from Direct Seafoods and Moshimo. Have a look at the amazing images for yourself on their slideshow, at www.fishlove.org

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

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011_LS716_ScienceFestival_011_LS466_interview 13/02/2015 11:13 Page 3

NEURONS FIRING Storm in a coffee cup

Ape Manager (‘My Manager & Other Animals’)

When it started, people thought a Science Festival was a ridiculous idea. You couldn’t have the words ‘science’ and ‘festival’ in the same sentence; there was just nothing remotely like fun in science. Now, the Science Festival has been joined by the Digital Festival, the Big Bang, the Mini Maker Faire, and there are three science toyshops in Brighton alone. Applications for the science courses in both Universities are up and Sussex businesses are joining the party.

Dust off the test tubes, lab coat & goggles – it’s time for the eleventh Brighton Science Festival

appy birthday, Brighton Science Festival! And in true paradoxical style, it celebrates its tenth birthday with its eleventh Festival.

2005 – 2014: The Years Of Struggle When the Festival started a decade ago, Wikipedia was a pretty crazy notion, Facebook was a mild irritant in Harvard, Twitter was not even a remote possibility, and 40% of our visitors didn’t use a computer to view the programme. The figure now is 25%, so progress has been made, though not as fast as you might think. When it started, there were hardly any women taking up science as a career. No change there either.

Palestinian women scientists struggle

When it started, what the brains behind the venture were doing was called the ‘Public Understanding of Science’. Eventually, someone spotted that the acronym PUS had unfortunate connotations, so a government committee decided upon ‘Public Engagement with Science and Technology’, or PEST for short ... that didn’t last long either. Nowadays they do ‘Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths’, or STEM (though some say the Arts ought to be added in, to make STEAM). They welcome all science – all the -ologies (except astrology; but who knows what the future may bring?). When it started there were four events. This year there are seventy four.

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‘Relativitively Speaking’

2015: Another Year Of Struggle The Festival only just made it this year. Funding cuts last year saw three quarters of the sponsorship disappear. But thanks to all the people who responded to their appeal, they plugged the gap. Le Geekend And it is fun! There’s comedy at every turn. Richard Wiseman cut his teeth in cabaret and magic – he knows how to tell a ripping yarn. It just so happens his yarns are about the science of delusions: how little we know, how much we make up, and this year why we dream. He’s just one of many at Le Geekend, (Friday 27 February in the evening to Sunday 1 March). Richard Robinson (‘My Manager and Other Animals’, Friday 27 Richard Wiseman February) is a busker at heart, and for most of his career. John Hinton (‘Relativitively Speaking’, Sunday 1 March) is pure show-biz. During the daytimes, beside five talks a day, you will rub along with cutting edge technology. The Large Hadron Collider display is designed to explain all that weird quantum stuff in simple English. Speaking of cutting edge, Kings College researchers are showing how to grow teeth. Dentures will be a thing of the past soon, as we plant teeth like sweet corn. Want a whiff of the future? Here it is, in 4D, and with added jokes. Brighton Science Festival, 5 February – 1 March 2015, www.brightonscience.com

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000_LS716_Wired Sx_Wired Sussex 3-13 13/02/2015 12:14 Page 1

Sales & E-Commerce Assistant – Modern Toss (Brighton & Hove) Web Developer – Pixel by Pixel (Worthing) Web Content Officer x 4 – The University of Sussex (Brighton & Hove) Assistant Financial Controller – Paramount Artists (Brighton & Hove) Magento Developer with Strong UX/UI Skills – Firetoys (Brighton & Hove) Bid Executive – LEO (Brighton & Hove) Admin Assistant & PA – Boost Marketing (Brighton & Hove) Social Media Executive – Brighton i360 (Brighton & Hove) PHP Developer – outer/edge (Chichester)

2D Animation Team Needed – for a game Website build – for a contemporary e-commerce site Contract Designer – for a 2 month project

WordUp Brighton – WordPress Workflows – Wednesday 18 February, 7.00pm at The Skiff Brighton Digital Festival Town Hall Meeting – Tuesday 24 February, 6.00pm at Fabrica The Digital Skills Summit – Monday 23 March, 12.30pm at Komedia

013_LS716_interview - Lloyd Langford_011_LS466_interview 11/02/2015 09:36 Page 1

OLD-FASHIONED BOY

At the vanguard of the flood of Welsh talent currently appearing on our screens and on the radiowaves of comedy, Lloyd Langford is coming to town! He talks time travel, improvising and superpowers with Victoria Nangle

Hi Lloyd, how are you today? I've been waiting in all day for a package to be delivered. They told me it left the depot at 8am. It's now 6pm, it still hasn't arrived, and I'm now trying to see if it has tracking so I can find the delivery driver and kill him with a hitman. Your show is called ‘Old-Fashioned’. If today’s world is bamboozling, what era in time and in which location would you most like to live? Maybe Rome at the height of the empire. That looked like a lot of fun. If you weren't a Christian. And what would be your favourite activity/adventure in that time and place? It would be between bumming and watching Christians get eaten by lions. As much as bygone days were good, what modern contraption would you like to be invented that would make your life easier? (One that doesn’t already exist) There should be a universal plug socket. Everyone would have the same plugs and sockets. I still can't believe we haven't sorted that yet. Despite being ‘old-fashioned’, you still get referred to as ‘little Lloyd Langford’ by Rhod on his radio show, which does seem to irk you. If you could call him any name and it would

everywhere, which I think looks pretty funny, so maybe "Cowboy" Rhod Gilbert.

He's also repeatedly suggested that I've had intimate relations with Timmy Mallett ... Your ‘Git’ show with Jon Richardson and Dan Atkinson sounds like a blast – improvising and riffing off each other. Any chance you might tour it, or perhaps run some Edinburgh previews for it in sunny East Sussex? It's incredibly fun to do, but there's a hell of a lot of preparation for it as each of us creates and hosts a third of the show. With our diaries and everything else, we usually end up doing it once a year. We're always talking about doing a few around the country, so watch this space I guess! As lovely as it is to see your face on the telly, you seem to be very active on the BBC airwaves, even recording your own radio sitcom pilot. Do you think that radio lends itself more to the flights of fancy of comedy than television? I really love doing radio and I think it invites the listener to use their imagination, in a way television can't. I wouldn't say it's better suited to comedy than television, but as you're just hearing the voices, it heightens the intimacy I think. Do you ever swim in the sea in the UK? If so, what makes a British day suitable for swimming, in your book? I regularly swim in the British sea. The last time I went in was on January 1st and I talk about it in the show! If you could have any super power, what would it be, and what would your superhero’s name be? To be able to speak and understand every language. Name would be Great-To-Go-OnHoliday-With Man.

stick for years, what would it be, bearing in mind this is a family magazine? Ha ha, it doesn't really irk me. He's also repeatedly suggested that I've had intimate relations with Timmy Mallett, which is a bit more troubling. Rhod has taken to wearing a Stetson hat

What’s the best thing about being ‘oldfashioned’ right now? Second hand book shops. British museums. The recorded works of Muddy Waters. Evan Williams bourbon. The list is endless ... Lloyd Langford – Old-Fashioned, Komedia, Friday 20 February 2015, £12/10, 01273 709709, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Picture: Andy Hollingworth

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014_LS716_texaspizza-fillers_011_LS466_interview 13/02/2015 15:26 Page 2

PUBLIC NOTICE THE LICENSING ACT 2003 (PREMISES LICENCES AND CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATES) REGULATIONS 2005 Regulation 25 Advertisement TO: WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

I Irene Gerovasili do hereby give notice that it is my intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for the grant of a premises licence to use or permit the use of premises known as Texas Pizza at 84 Portland Road, Hove, BN3 5DL for the following licensable activities which it is proposed will be carried on, on or from the premises: pizza take away shop.

See in the new season with Wave, your essential beauty, health & wellbeing guide, free inside Latest 7 To promote your business in this section call Rachel on 01273 818150 x105 now!

Any person who desires to make a representation to the grant, should send to Head of Regulatory Services, Health & Safety and Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JP no later than the 11th of March 2015 a brief written statement of the grounds of his/her objection. The register and records of applications may be viewed at the above council office during normal office hours; summaries are available via www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/licensing. It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5]. Dated this: 10th day of February 2015 Signed:

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015_LS716_MacMillan_011_LS466_interview 13/02/2015 10:44 Page 3

BE A HERO WITH TEAM MACMILLAN Join the Brighton Marathon, raise much-needed funds for Macmillan and help fight cancer arathon fever is in the air! In just over two months, one of the UK’s leading marathons is happening right here – the Brighton Marathon takes place on Sunday 12 April. Brighton Marathon’s fast, flat course takes runners through the best of our historic south coast city, showing them some glorious views of the South Downs – which is why it’s already become a popular fixture in the running calendar. And Team Macmillan needs you! If you’ve already secured a place in the marathon, that’s fantastic, and we’d love to welcome you on to our team. All we ask in return is that you raise as much sponsorship as you can. It might not sound like a lot, but every pound raised from every step you take will make a difference to the level of service we can provide. If you are still looking for a place in the marathon, you have until Wednesday 4 March to apply for one of Macmillan’s charity places. There is no registration fee, just a minimum sponsorship target to raise.

We need your help so we can reach as many people as possible. No one should face cancer alone, and together with your support, we’ll help ensure no-one does. For further information about joining Team Macmillan for the Brighton Marathon this year or to apply, visit macmillan.org.uk/brightonmarathon, email running@macmillan.org.uk or call 0207 840 7878. We look forward to welcoming you to the team!

We’re great at support – it’s in our name! From the free running top we’ll send you and expert training guide that welcomes you, to our Pasta Party the night before the run, our packed cheer points along the course and our VIP post race centre offering massage and delicious post race treats, Team Macmillan will offer you exactly the support you need. And even if running’s not your thing, we’d love you to come and help us cheer on our fantastic team of runners. “Hearing people cheer my name and wave me on gave the burst of energy I needed to keep going ... seeing all those smiling faces in green t-shirts cheering me on made all the difference, it was the most amazing experience,” recalls Sarah, Team Macmillan 2014. With the number of people living with cancer hitting 2.5 million, there is an urgent need for more Macmillan services to support them. This is where you come in. Cancer is one of the toughest fight most of us will ever face but we believe no one should have to go through it alone. The Macmillan team wants to be there every step of the way. We are the nurses and therapists helping you through treatment, the experts on the end of the phone, the advisers telling you which benefits you’re entitled to, the volunteers giving you a hand with the everyday things, the campaigners improving cancer care, the community there for you online, any time, and the supporters who make it all possible.

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ZERO EMISSION TECHNOLOGY

SKETCHY BUSINESS

Science & technology at Portslade Aldridge Community Academy

Robert Holden on the making of Latest TV’s ‘Sketchers’

hycology, the scientific study of algae, is fast demonstrating that algae is a promising source of clean, inexpensive energy. The world’s first algae powered building opened in Hamburg last year, known as the Bio Intelligent Quotient (BIQ) building. The BIQ building is coated on its two sun-facing sides with glass-plated tanks of suspended algae. Pressurized air is pumped into the system, feeding the organisms carbon dioxide and nutrients while moving them about – creating a lava lamp effect. Periodically, algae are culled, mashed into biofuel, and burned in a local generator to produce power. The result is a building shaded from summer heat by algae foliage, insulated from street noise, and potentially self-generating the power to sustain its own harvesters, heat and electricity. Scientists have developed this technology further, where biophotovoltaic cells (BPV) convert the energy produced by algae during photosynthesis into electricity. Phycology is also making an impact on the Grand Prix. As part of its promise to showcase the best in cutting edge zero emission technologies, the world’s first electric Grand Prix will power cars with electricity derived from algae. Recently, Dr David Thomas introduced our students to his multiaward winning, government and industry supported company, Industrial Phycology. The company has developed a patented, scalable, weather independent, low footprint, algae based wastewater treatment and material recovery process. The algae-based wastewater treatment can remove a range of contaminants (phosphates, nitrates, metals, plus approximately 30% of COD) from the water in one step and mitigates carbon emissions (algae consume CO2 for growth). Here at PACA we will be setting up a phycology experiment with David’s help

P 

LATESTWRITES

DR CAROLINE OPRANDI

The world’s first algae powered building opened in Hamburg last year

s I watch Robert De Niro drive down Sunset Boulevard in a jet black Mercedes, script in one hand, steering wheel in the other, shouting out lines into a glorious sunny day, I'm reminded just how close the dream is ... or appears to be, here in Los Angeles. I'm Robert Holden, a Brighton-trained actor and a newbie in the world of writing and directing. Thanks to a revolutionary new venture – Latest TV – my beautiful, talented team and I are riding high after a little sketch show we wrote, directed and starred in – Sketchers – is airing nationally. As if this wasn't enough for a comedy team relatively fresh out of training and for a crew who’ve not even graduated, we also got a global stream on the web. I have been back and fourth to Los Angeles several times since I graduated. If it's a dream you’re chasing, you’ve got to be prepared to get a little breathless. No? This, however, is the first time I've got something to pitch. In an industry that's all about what you’ve just done, I can now look agents, casting directors and personal managers squarely in the eye, and tell them our show is being viewed across the globe. The question is, of course, will they listen? Not to mention will they care, or will they even open the door? Not far from the prehistoric black bubbling tar of the La Brea Tar Pits, the shiny new SAG (Screen Actors Guild) offices climb their way up into the sky. SAG is the union you pretty much have to be in to work in film and television in the US, and it has always been notoriously difficult to get into. It’s the classic Catch 22 scenario: you need a job to get into SAG and a SAG card to get a job. A while ago, however, SAG merged with AFTRA (American Federation of Television and Radio Artists) and brought in web media as a new format, so things are looking more positive. The last time I was in LA studying sketch comedy with one of my comedy idols – Kevin McDonald, who you may remember from the cult classic Kids In The Hall – I learned that a web series or short sketches aired on web media channels was not only a way to get viewed in the US, with sites like ‘Hulu’ or Will Farrell's ‘Funny or Die’ site growing daily, but also a short cut to SAG membership. You needed a SAG member involved in your show, and I was in luck. A good buddy of mine is a fully paid up member. We shot a sketch and I wrote off to SAG ... and heard precisely nothing. However, I have met their criteria. Over the next week I face many challenges: first, visit the SAG offices and get me and my team SAG membership; second, create enough buzz to get a manager or agent keen to represent me; third, get the show developed into a web series. Oh, and fourthly, find out if my low budget show, combined with Brighton’s new groundbreaking TV channel, has gained me enough gravitas in my field to move to LA and start a new life – a life where I might one day stand even closer to De Niro as he says his lines. Watch Sketchers on Latest TV on Fridays at 9pm – Freeview channel 8, Virgin Media 159 or at thelatest.tv

A 

LATESTWRITES

ROBERT HOLDEN

and expertise! David said to our students that the hardest thing he has had to learn was not the science, but the entrepreneurial business skills. Increasingly, students need both of these skills to be successful in the workplace.

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LATESTWRITES

ANDREW KAY SPONSORED BY

Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

woke up this morning with only one thing on my mind: hot water bottle! I know, a hot water bottle in 2015. What are things coming to? I mean really. I grew up in Lancashire and given that we had no central heating and just a coal fire in the living room, a hot water bottle was something of a neccessity. My first one was made of stone-ware, yes I am that old, and despite it being wrapped in a flannelette rag every night you could still do serious damage to your feet by stubbing your toes. Last night I would have stubbed my toes all night long if it had meant that my feet could be warm. I even got out of bed and shook the duvet in the hope that the redistribution of the very expensive eiderdown might have afforded my tootsies some extra comfort – but

A WARM GLOW

Giving in and going for comfort no, my feet remained ice-like all night through. Having mentioned my northern roots, one might expect that I have an inbuilt – if not inbred – immunity to the cold. A few weeks ago a friend offered me a lift in their rather smart car. It’s one of those models that does everything. You can programme it to get warm in time for your return should you so wish, it parks itself and no doubt if you study the handbook for long enough it will deal with your utility bills and order your milk. It is, to say the least, an impressive piece of technology. I was grateful for the lift as it was a cold day and a long walk to the nearest bus stop. As we pulled away, I felt ill at ease. There was a sensation that although familiar to start with, was a feeling that I had not experienced for a good many years. I sat there slightly disarmed and forgive me for what comes next. The sensation was one of warmth. spreading warmth in my nether regions. To be frank it felt like I had wet my pants. I sat in a quiet state of, well, should I say discomfort and embarassment balanced with a pleasant sensation of, for once, being warm.

 COMPETITIONS WIN THE UNTHANKS TICKETS When the critics are claiming “There really is no better folk band in the land,” (Q Magazine) you really can’t miss out on the chance to see this remarkable duo, Rachel and Becky, perform live. Lucky old you, you don’t have to, as they’re performing at Brighton Dome’s Concert Hall on Wednesday 4 March. We’ve got two pairs of tickets to give away to anyone who can answer this question: What are the first names of the two singers in The Unthanks? • Rachel & Vicky • Rachel & Nicky • Rachel & Becky WIN I, MALVOLIO TICKETS First seen at Brighton Festival in 2010, Tim Crouch’s award winning show has toured the world. Now Malvolio is coming home … and he’s as outraged and outrageous as ever! I, Malvolio is a charged, hilarious and sometimes unsettling rant – this brilliant oneman show unlocks Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night to tell a timeless story of bullying, prudery and practical jokes. The show is on Friday 13 March

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Old enough to need a hot water bottle but not old enough for the joy of a bus pass After a few minutes I realised that at some point I might have to say something – I mean a new car, leather upholstery and incontinence! Not a great combination. But how do you go about it? I

gingerly said how toasty warm the car was. “Ah yes, that will be the heated seat,” came the reply. I should have guessed I suppose, but not being a car owner these days, the leaps and bounds made in passenger comfort have passed me by, which is I suppose better that me having passed water – in my pants! For many years I believed my northerness would keep me immune from the cold, but of late my hands and feet have been as ice. I have purchased thermal gloves and thermal socks and although they help a little they have not solved the problem. During the day it is bad but at night, well at night it is keeping me from sleep. Which is why today, as soon as the shops open, I will be heading down to Boots the chemists to buy a hot water bottle. I may even buy a second one to jam under my desk here at Latest Towers. Getting older, yes I’m afraid so – old enough to need a hot water bottle but not old enough for the joy of a bus pass. That hardly seems fair does it?

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and Saturday 14 March in Brighton Dome’s Studio Theatre. We’ve got two pairs of tickets to give away to anyone who can answer this question: From which Shakespeare play is the character of Malvolio best known? WIN THIS LAST TEMPEST TICKETS This sequel to The Tempest begins where Shakespeare left off: Caliban and Ariel are alone on the enchanted island, as Prospero’s ship sails out of view. In the hours that follow, the magician’s former servants are free to begin again, and they sing and perform wild tempests. This Last Tempest draws on the company's collaborative approach to devise theatre and is a show for both those who know Shakespeare's play and those new to The Tempest. Shows run on Friday 20 March and Saturday 21 March at the Brighton Dome’s Studio Theatre. We’ve got two pairs of tickets to give away to anyone who can answer this question: Who wrote the original play The Tempest?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk With the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 23 February 2015.

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HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

he new Sussex Cancer Support Centre in Brighton is well on the way to completion this autumn. Geoff Stonebanks’ Driftwood Fundraising Group, which organizes the Macmillan Coastal Garden Trail, has contributed £23,700 to the appeal so far. The appeal now needs a further £500K, so the 4th annual garden trail this summer will help swell the coffers. The trail will take place on 25 and 26 July and will be a rather special event as their patron, TV’s celebrity gardener Christine Walkden, will actually be in attendance in Geoff’s garden, Driftwood, in Seaford to officially launch this year’s event. Time permitting, it is hoped she will visit other gardens with Geoff on the day, too. Are you interested in opening your garden to support Macmillan Cancer Support? All the details are on the trail website: www.macmillangardentrail.co.uk Alternatively, you can call Geoff on 01323 899296 and discuss how to get involved. There are currently 13 garden owners who have signed up to open between Brighton and Eastbourne. Macmillan will provide the public liability insurance, and you have the choice of whether or not to serve tea and cakes! So, take the plunge this summer and support a great charity – you might even see Christine Walkden in your garden. Macmillan Coastal Garden Trail, 25–26 July 2015, www.macmillangardentrail.co.uk

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Open your garden to help the new Sussex Cancer Support Centre this summer

Christine Walkden

Woodland Way

the place for parties! Atmospheric Affordable Available any night

this week> Wed 18 Cafe Scientifique 7.30pm, Free, Collection made to cover costs

You book it We make it happen Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office parties Business events Hen & Stag nights Tell us what you want We provide it all

Mon 23 Riverjuke presents: Woodward + Support 7pm, £7

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ooking for a top day out laden with delicious food and laughter? Make sure to visit VegfestUK Brighton – one of Europe's biggest veggie food festivals! The event includes delectable global cuisines from 15 specialist caterers, and specialities include pad thai, oriental stir-fries, Caribbean stews, veggibabs, canapés, tapas, cakes, juices, smoothies, beers, ciders, wines and more. These come on top of free samples and special offers from over 160 stalls at the event. The comedy section features a combination of high quality standup comedians taking the mickey out of their travails with the vegan lifestyle. Comedians include Andrew O'Neill, Carl Donnelly, Jake Yapp, Chris Stokes, Joey Brannigan ... plus many more. Other activities include a Party Political Conference on the Saturday, a Global Food Sustainability Conference on the Sunday, kids activities, cinema, talks, cookery demos and live music. Get your tickets now at www.brighton.vegfest.co.uk/admission. Tickets are £5 (day) or £8 (weekend), with buy-one-get-one-free offers running till 28 February. Kids under 16 go free. Look out for VegfestUK's two other big events at Bristol (May 23–24) and London (October 10–11) at www.vegfest.co.uk and www.vegfestexpress.co.uk

JOLLY GREEN GIANTS Sumptuous veggie cuisines and exhilarating comedy as VegfestUK hits the Brighton Centre

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HOTLIST Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit thelatest.co.uk

ITALIAN

DONATELLO Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477 www.donatello.co.uk

COFFEE SHOPS

MUNCH COFFEESHOP Tucked away just off St James Street, Munch Coffeeshop is the antidote to bland, boring lunchtimes. Popular with the office crowd, this little gem serves lunch, breakfast and velvety coffee in a fresh, welcoming environment. The menu includes deli sandwiches and toasted ciabatta on Real Patisserie bread. Hot veggie specials and soups are made daily on the premises. This season, look out for lentil dhal with pitta and raita, and bubble and squeak cake with poached egg and winter slaw. The venue is also available for private hire. Latest7 Hotlist special offer: Lunch for 2 for £12 - just mention Latest7! Open 8am-3.30pm, (Saturday 9am-2pm), 44 George Street, Kemptown, 01273 973186 www.munchcoffeeshop.co.uk Twitter: @MunchBrighton

Donatello

THAI

The Chilli Pickle

BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN BARDSLEY’S Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

INDIAN THE CHILLI PICKLE The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up

with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

STREET THAI Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444

UP TO 50% OFF YOUR FOOD BILL

THE CHILLI PICKLE CANTEEN The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384

Munch Coffeeshop

Street Thai

TABLE POUNCER Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill. Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable. http://thelatest.co.uk/tablepouncer

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000_LS716_cook It_011_LS466_interview 12/02/2015 16:04 Page 3

with Andrew Kay

WINNERS News of the Sussex Food & Drink Awards elebrations were in full on Thursday 29 January at this year’s Sussex Food & Drink Awards ceremony, where eight of Sussex’s top food and drink producers were hailed as local heroes as they received their trophies at the American Express Community Stadium in Brighton. Hosted by awards patron Sally Gunnell OBE DL and Danny Pike of BBC Sussex, the evening was a sell out, with over 350 leaders in the food, drink and farming industry gathering for the event. Now in their ninth year, the awards are all about supporting and boosting local farmers, food and drink producers and the outlets which use and sell superb local fare. Said Sally Gunnell OBE DL, “This is my third year as patron for the Sussex Food & Drink Awards, and yet again we have been treated to another impressive line up of winners and runners up. As a farmer’s daughter, I am a huge advocate of eating fresh, local food as well as supporting your community, and these awards do exactly that. They raise awareness throughout the year and offer the opportunity to celebrate Sussex’s innovative, imaginative, sustainable and delicious food and drink producers.” The awards scheme is run by Natural Partnerships Community Interest Company (CIC), co-directed by Hilary Knight of the Sussex Food & Drink Network and Paula Seager, Managing Director of Natural PR Ltd, with support from a loyal and high ranking group of sponsor judges along with independent chairman of judges and prominent Sussex farmer, William Goodwin. Said Paula Seager; “We are proud of the Sussex Food & Drink Awards and want to wish our winners, grand finalists and finalists this year our warmest congratulations. “We would also like to thank our patron Sally Gunnell OBE DL and our sponsors, judges and media partners, who all share a vital role in making these awards a year-onyear success.”

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The Winners: Sussex Drink Producer of the Year, sponsored by Sussex Food & Drink Network Winner - Wobblegate, Bolney, West Sussex Runners up - Highdown Vineyard, Ferring, West Sussex and Langham Brewery, Lodsworth, Petworth, West Sussex Sussex Food Shop of the Year, sponsored by Veasey & Sons and Cheese Please Winner - Rushfields Farm Shop, Poynings, West Sussex Runners up - Charlie’s Farm Shop, Bury, nr Pulborough, West Sussex and Tablehurst Farm Shop, Forest Row, East Sussex Sussex Butcher of the Year, sponsored by Absolute Butchery Winner - A C Coughtrey, Pulborough, West Sussex Runners up - Bramptons Butchers, Kemptown, Brighton & Hove and Leppards Family Butchers, Mayfield, East Sussex Sussex Farmers Market of the Year, sponsored by Harveys Brewery Winner – Steyning Farmers Market, West Sussex Runners up - Horsham Local Produce Market, West Sussex and Lewes Farmers Market, East Sussex Sussex Eating Experience, sponsored by Natural PR

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Winner - The Curlew, Bodiam, East Sussex Runners up - Coach & Horses, Danehill, East Sussex and Zari’s Restaurant & Lounge, Crawley, West Sussex Sussex Young Chef of the Year, sponsored by Sodexo Prestige Winner - Tim Sheed, The Pass, South Lodge Hotel, Lower Beeding, West Sussex Runners up - Dan Cotton, The Crabtree, Lower Beeding, West Sussex and Ryan Tomkinson, East Sussex National, Little Horsted, East Sussex Sussex Farmer of the Year, sponsored by Spofforths Chartered Accountants Winner - Tim Hassell, Goodwood Home Farm, Goodwood, West Sussex Runners up – Charlie Hughes, Southview Farm Dairy and The Goring family, Wiston Estate, Washington, West Sussex Sussex Food Producer of the Year, sponsored by The Southern Co-operative Winner - Cocoa Loco, West Grinstead, West Sussex Runners up - Caroline’s Dairy, Sidlesham, West Sussex and Nell Ball Farm Foods Ltd, Plaistow, West Sussex

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ON THE GRAPEVINE

BRIGHTON’S ARTY

Stephen Quinn

Alison Krog



KIWI CHARDONNAY

GO WITH THE FLOW

he world knows New Zealand sauvignon blanc. For something different, try Kiwi chardonnay. A recent tasting in London showed how stylish these wines can be – though production is low compared with the better-known varieties. As of late 2014, New Zealand had more than 700 vineyards and 90% of them sold overseas. Kiwi wines are distinct because New Zealand is so isolated. It is 1,600 kilometres from the nearest landmass (Australia). The country is long and thin like Chile – about 1,500 kilometres in length, and the furthest point inland is only 130 kilometres from the sea. This means New Zealand has warm days and cool nights, with copious sea breezes producing a long ripening season with plenty of diurnal variation – the difference between maximum and minimum temperatures that produces great flavours in grapes. At least 94% of the country’s vineyards are certified as sustainable, via a system of self reporting. About 70% of the vines in New Zealand are younger than 12 years old. Chardonnay represents only 7% of New Zealand wines, and only 2% of exports. But these whites are impressive, and tend to be elegant and versatile with food. The classic Kiwi chardonnay has crisp acidity and concentrated fruit flavours, sometimes complemented by some oak treatment. It is grown throughout the country. Flavours depend on where the grapes are grown, with warmer climates giving rounder and richer notes while wines from the cooler south have higher acidity and a more pronounced sense of minerality, with fresher and more savoury flavours. Some of the best chardonnays tasted included the range of 2012 vintages from Kumeu River, the 2013 Man O’ War Valhalla from Waiheke Island off the main city Auckland, the 2012 Greywacke from Marlborough, the 2013 Villa Maria reserve barrique-fermented from Gisborne, and the 2012 Escarpment from Martinborough.

ome people questioned why we didn’t list the artists in last year’s book in alphabetical order. Spoilsports. I had the most fun carpeting our house with all the pages then deciding which works should sit against each other, and how the amazing variety of approaches could be ordered to create pace and constant surprises. George Antoni (George [cat] proffered his assistance, walking over all the printouts and sitting on them randomly, but he doesn’t have much of an eye for colour.) It’s just fascinating how the same palette can inspire such different executions and how two very different artists can complement each other beautifully. I’ve been working on this year’s edition today and by chance had the layouts of Kellie Miller and George Antoni open at the same time. And they’re just made to be book buddies. To produce his sensational abstracts, George starts Kellie Miller a painting with only a loose intention, allowing it to evolve through numerous generations. The piece ends with the idea rather than starts with it. He wants viewers to see different things in the finished work, and the greater number of interpretations the better. Kellie has a talent for conveying her subject matter and messages in a simplistic manner, yet her approach and the method of construction of her work is incredibly complex. Her unique pieces can require up to 27 stages to complete, and the results are tactile carved paintings. See more in her eponymous gallery in the South Lanes. Out of town: We’re delighted that a Brighton’s Arty favourite, Louisa Crispin, has been selected to exhibit at the 116th Annual Open Exhibition of The Pastel Society with her exquisitely detailed Lichen on Birch v. at The Mall Gallery, London, from 23 February to 7 March. www.artymagazines.com

The difference between maximum and minimum temperatures produces great flavours in grapes

View from Waiheke Island

For bespoke wine education for groups of six in a Brighton home, contact Annabel – annabel.jackson@gmail.com

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Louisa Crispin

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stage / film / comedy / art / music

L7 ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Watch Latest entertainment on

STAGE

Andrew Kay



FOOT TAPPING & FASCINATING This week a brief glimpse at a few theatrical treats

his April, a sensational new musical is set to showcase the greatest hit songs of the ‘60s. Dreamboats & Miniskirts, the sequel to the sellout Dreamboats & Petticoats, arrives in Crawley. Since its premiere in 2009, Dreamboats & Petticoats has become a musical phenomenon, having played to more than two million people across the UK, and inspired by Universal’s multi-million selling album series – which now boasts seven double compilation albums and myriad one-off special releases. Now the creative team reunite for the sequel. It’s 1963, and the world is changing. Bobby and Laura’s single ‘Dreamboats and

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on Freeview channel 8, Petticoats’ is only half a hit. Norman and Sue have settled down to non-marital bliss – and a baby. And Ray and Donna seem blissfully happy… The advent of The Beatles and the Merseyside sound is inspirational. But will it inspire Bobby and Laura to have one more shot at stardom – Norman to “get off the drains” and find that hit parade voice he has longed for, and Ray to realise his ambition and manage a really top pop act? All is revealed in this follow-up with the same wit, charm and great songs as Dreamboats & Petticoats. Dreamboats & Miniskirts is written by Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran, the team behind Goodnight Sweetheart, Birds of a Feather, The New Statesman, Shine on Harvey Moon, Save the Last Dance For Me and of course, Dreamboats & Petticoats, and is produced by Bill Kenwright and Laurie Mansfield in association with Universal Music. Featuring hit after hit, from ‘Twist And Shout’ to ‘Handy Man’ to ‘Pretty Woman’, ‘One Fine Day’ and many more, Dreamboats & Miniskirts is happiness guaranteed. Tickets: Tue-Thur, £31. Fri & Sat eve, £33. Wed & Thur at 2.30pm, £25. Sat 2.30pm, £30. Discounts: (Mon-Thur eves), £3 off. To book your place call The Hawth Box Office on 01293 553636 or visit www.hawth.co.uk

CHARM OFFENSIVE

Fascinating Aida, Britain’s best-loved comedy cabaret trio, who in 2013 celebrated 30 years of their unique brand of filthy, witty and fabulous entertainment, will finish their epic tour of hit show Charm Offensive with a final potty mouthed journey round the UK during Spring 2015, including The Hawth this March. Fascinating Aida has clocked up over 17 million views on YouTube and counting, and their videos have become viral phenomena multiple times. Dillie Keane, Adele Anderson and Liza Pulman’s infamous anthem to budget travel,

• LATEST 7 23 www.thelatest.co.uk •

channel 159 or at thelatest.tv ‘Cheap Flights’, has had over 12,000,000 hits to date, both officially and thanks to multiple uploads from fans, including translations into Hebrew, Russian and Italian. In 2013, they released a freshly minted song on YouTube entitled ‘The Ofsted Song’ which gained 100,000 hits within seven days of posting. Finally, they released their own outrageous

Christmas Carol, ‘Try Not To Be A C*** at Christmas’ – in 2013 it had 150,000 hits in a fortnight, and 60,000 on Christmas Day alone. When re-released on Facebook for 2014, it was viewed over 750,000 times in just four days. And not forgetting Dillie’s infamous dirty ditty ‘Dogging’, which has had 2,000,000 hits and counting… Dillie Keane founded Fascinating Aida in 1983 (and was joined by key writing partner Adele Anderson in 1984) and since then the group has played in hundreds of theatres in the UK and Ireland. They have made many television appearances and radio recordings, released seven CDs, three DVDs, two videos, an autobiography and a songbook, and have also been nominated for several awards – Perrier (once), Olivier (three nominations) and New York Drama desk (three nominations). In 2013 they won Best Musical Act in the London Cabaret Awards. Friday 20 March 7.30pm, The Hawth Crawley

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entertainment news / comedy /art / events

COMEDY

Victoria Nangle



EVENT: KREEPY KEMPTOWN GHOST WALK Hosted by Paranormal Investigator Adrian J Andrews, Kreepy Kemptown is filled with history and tales of hauntings. The walk is approximately two hours 15 minutes. Meeting at the Royal Oak, 46 St. James’s Street, Sat 21 Feb, 7pm, £8/5/4

HINTS & TIPS

Brighton Fringe sneak previews, and this week’s picks

efore anything else, reviews everywhere they go. here’s a heads up to Also on Friday, Lloyd find out about all of Langford brings his latest Komedia’s shows in the show, ‘Old Fashioned’, to the Brighton Fringe this year – Komedia. Wearing his they’re up! On the iconic metaphorical robe of venue’s website you will find – ‘curmudgeonly old git’ with from the morning this a wry smile, Langford magazine hits the stands examines the modern world (that’d be the Tuesday) – and his own difficulties Komedia has got all of their keeping up with it. A part of listings for May on show, giving the comedy Welsh invasion, you a good old eyeful of the Langford is an uplifting treats and wonders they’ve got Photo credit: Giles Smith delight. in store for us this May. Plus, the true treat that is Highlights include new shows from Josie Long, in town on Thursday at the Corn Patrick Monahan, Zoe Lyons and Tom Exchange and performing her most personal Deacon, as well as fringe treats from show to date. It’s even named after her newcomers Lili la Scala, The Kagools and niece! Long makes you think and feel, both Miss Glory Pearl. Really, it’s probably best to in such a positive light you leave the venue log on and have a good old explore yourself. with a glow that would put a ReadyBrek ‘80s The complete Brighton Fringe brochure kid to shame. comes out on Wednesday 4 March, which is So take your pick, book your tickets, and when tickets to the shows go on sale, support live comedy. It’s the only way to see making this one of the best bits of window extraordinary things up close and personal. shopping for a while. Komedia, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton For more immediate laughter gratification Austentatious, Friday 20 February 2015, 8pm, there are quite a few treats in town this £14/12, The Old Market, week. Over at The Old Market, the comedy www.theoldmarket.com troupe Austentatious comes to Brighton on Lloyd Langford – Old Fashioned, Friday 20 Friday, improvising a brand new Jane Austen February 2015, 8pm, £10/12, Komedia, novel in front of your very eyes based on www.komedia.co.uk/brighton audience suggestions. Their debut tour last Josie Long – Cara Josephine, Thursday 19 year sold out, and their shows up at the February 2015, £14/12, Corn Exchange, Edinburgh Fringe had queues out of the door Brighton Dome, 01273 709709, and down the road to get in. A talented brightondome.org group indeed, garnering four- and five-star

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PARANORMAL ...

on Freeview channel 8,

Hello 2015! Kickstart the new season with Wave, your monthly essential health & wellbeing guide, free inside Latest 7 To promote your business in this section call Rachel on 01273 818150 x105 now!

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EVENT: OLIVER MEECH: WHEN MAGIC & SCIENCE COLLIDE 2.0 2014's sell-out smash, upgraded! Oliver meddles with forces we barely understand, in a comedy magic show for the QI generation. Dukebox Theatre, Fri 20 Feb, 6pm, £5/3 EVENT: TANGO: MY CHILDHOOD, BACKWARDS AND IN HIGH HEELS AND... International trans* artist Justin Vivian Bond presents a reading from his new book. Compered by comedian Claire Parker. The Marlborough, Fri 20 Feb, 6pm, £5 redeemable against a copy of the Brighton Trans*formed book ART: A CANCER LANDSCAPE The exhibition presents biomedical imagery and illustrations of cancer cells alongside artistic works depicting the emotional cancer journey of artist Michele Angelo Petrone, as well as personal artworks created during a series of art workshops by people affected by cancer. ONCA, 14 St. George's Place, 01273 958291. Until 28 Feb. ART: BACK WITH A BANG Celebrating the talented stable of artists that have exhibited at Ink_d over the years, including Dan Baldwin, Carrie Reichardt, Ryan Callanan and Pure Evil. ink_d Gallery, 96 North Road, 01273 645299. Until 8 March.

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music / clubs

EARTH A band so colossal they named themselves after a planet ...

ead singer Dylan Carlson took some time out to answer a few questions about labels, band history and the creative process: When you first set up the band, what were the initial influences and intentions? Do you think there were any direct precedents? It was a combination of my love for Slayer and Venom, through The Velvet Underground, my exposure to La Monte Young and Terry Riley, and with a lot of influences from King Crimson – especially the albums Red and Starless And Bible Black.

from further and further afield, then returning to the source on this latest album. How do you go about writing a song; what are the seeds? I start usually with a riff, then variations on that riff and then the riffs I’m working on generally coalesce into a song. Sometimes there's a chord progression and riffs that work with it. There are also vocal contributions on the album, for the first time since the ‘90s. Why now? Is it something you’d like

to explore more in the future? Well, the song ‘Rooks Across The Gate’ had lyrics written with it, so we needed someone to sing it – my voice was never much, and I haven't used it in 20 years. Mark (Lanegan) and myself have always wanted to work together, and it happened he was free. And then he wanted to do another one so wrote the lyrics for ‘There Is A Serpent Coming’. Can you tell me the line up for the tour? The band consists of myself on guitar, Adrienne Davies on drums and Don McGreevy on bass guitar. Future plans? Get my Kickstarter manufactured and delivered, move to the UK with my new wife, Holly ... and then make more music. Earth, Komedia, Tuesday 24 February 2015, 7.30pm, £14

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20 Another week and another great music chart for you! Listen online to get your favourite to the top and to submit your own tracks.

1 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Dirty Weekend In Brighton 2 Hold Fire Emma-Louise 3 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Ben Sherman (style man from Brighton) 4 The Lounge Crusade Ten More Years 5 Alternate Function Not So Bad

You called your sound ‘ambient metal’ early on. What would you call it now? I still think we’re a slow, ambient hard rock/heavy metal band.

6 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Frankie 7 Bluestone Salsero 8 The Wolfgirl Liberation Uncanny Blossoms

With your latest album, you created something called the Ouroborean Creative Cycle. What is that? Well I guess it has to do with the band coming full circle over the last 25 years – starting out as a weird heavy metal band, adding influences and sounds

9 Ultralites Zero Hours 10 The Dead Beatles Love Me Dead 11 Little Frank Soon Soon Soon Follow me: @latestjeff

12 Thieves By The Code Right Where It Belongs

CLUB HIGHLIGHTS

13 Goldmarch feat. Lefluer (in Myspace) Faith And Love

Don’t miss our pick of Brighton after dark

14 The Mice Beauty Queen

BLACK BUTTER RECORDS Founded in 2010, awardwinning label Black Butter Records has been the driving force behind arguably some of the biggest artists in contemporary UK dance music, including Rudimental, Clean Bandit, Gorgon City, Jess Glynne and many more. Supercharged presents Black Butter Records with My Nu Leng + Preditah + Applebottom + Woz, Concorde2, Fri 20 Feb, 11pm–4am, £12.50

SPELLBOUND The '80s club night for people who HATE '80s nights, with Jenna Allsopp and Simon Price (the team behind legendary London glam night Stay Beautiful) playing alternative classics by the likes of Siouxsie, Soft Cell, Stray Cats, The Smiths and The Specials. Komedia, Sat 21 Feb, 9pm–3am, £6/5

POP TARTZ A weekly celebration of all things pop – from Britney to Beyonce, from Madge to MJ! Expect big singalong pop anthems and your requests. Revenge, Fri 20 Feb, 10.30pm–4am, £1 before midnight with a pass from Bar Revenge, otherwise £5 (£4 NUS)

15 Fond Of Rudy Royals (Lorde cover) 16 Cloverfield House Of Love 17 Senior Service Slow Train 18 The Black Fields The Fighter 19 Running Dogs Rumpunch 20 Jesus Christ And The Disciples Don’t The Kids Just Love It SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC & VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

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under review

HISTORY LESSONS

FILM

HISTORY BOYS Theatre Royal Brighton, 11 February 2015 ★★★★★

lan Bennett's writing does something that so many other writers working in theatre fail to do. He has the word power, the wit and the skill but to this he adds the magic ingredients of theatricality and, dare I say it, entertainment. Much as I love to have my mind stretched by a clever script I respond so much better when there is something to watch, some action. This production has that for sure and the excellent cast deliver Bennett's words with a comfortable confidence. Stepping into roles that have been immortalised on film (a decent but less than satisfying cinema realisation of the play) is surely tough but here the cast do a great job and in particular Richard Hope who makes Hector his own. A great night only spoilt by a messy set complete with flying motorbike. Why?

Andrew Kay

THE IMPOSSIBLE GENTLEMEN This award-winning quartet of world class jazz musicians, who have worked with many of the genre's all-time greats, came together to play as an ensemble and, after some early sound problems were resolved, delivered a stunning two hour set of original pieces. All four were exemplary, but the American drummer Adam Nussbaum and Stoke-born Gwilym Simcock, keyboard player, stole the show: Simcock's dazzling, funky dexterity was a fine match for Nussbaum's explosive stick work. US bassist Steve Rodby got to shine in the second half and Mike Walker's Metheny-esque guitar stylings were a delight throughout. A master class. The Old Market, 10 February 2015 ★★★★★ Steve Clements

KATE TEMPEST Following last year's Mercury nomination for her 'Everybody Down' album, the hard-grafting South London poet, rapper and playwright Kate Tempest has seen audiences for her music swell, but she was still intent on establishing a connection with each individual soul here tonight. Snapshots of life and its characters, details illuminated with a master storyteller's flame, were joined by powerful polemics that brought a rare, bracing sense of political and emotional engagement. The drum- and synth-heavy musical backdrop whipped up a compelling atmosphere initially but proved hit-and-miss, the more pumped-up, ravey beats becoming a slightly jarring distraction from Tempest's sublime wordplay and unique delivery. Concorde 2, 10 February 2015 ★★★★★ Rosie James

BOOKINGS PADDY MCGUINESS – DADDY MCGUINESS

BRIGHTON & HOVE PRIDE WEEKEND

Theatre Royal Brighton, 4 October 2015, £28.90/21.40, 0844 871 7615, www.atgtickets.com One of the country’s best-loved and most popular comedians Paddy McGuinness has announced a brand new UK tour for 2015 & 2016. The star of ITV’s Take Me Out will return to his performing roots, with his first stand-up tour since 2011.

Concorde2, 23 February 2015, £12.50 Early bird tickets prices have been frozen (limited availability), then £16.00/ £18.50/ £21.00, www.brighton-pride.org Pride 2015 sees Pride celebrate 25 years of Pride in the City and it’s expected to be the biggest Pride celebration to date. Earlybird tickets are on sale now, so act fast!

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Jessica KellgrenHayes



THE OSCARS

o film fans, I can’t imagine you’re talking about much else this week other than the Academy Awards ceremony, happening this Sunday! Let’s start the conversation with who I think (and hope) will win. You can tweet your responses to @latestjessica Best Picture I’m hoping that the extraordinary Whiplash, which muses on whether creative people need harsh environments to become brilliant, wins over the shot-over-12-years-but-I’m-a-bit-‘meh’-about-it Boyhood … but I doubt it. Twelve years! There is no way that won’t be rewarded. Best Actress Julianne Moore. I can think of eight times Julianne Moore should have won an Oscar, and didn’t. Her portrayal of a professor with early-onset Alzheimer’s in Still Alice is heartfelt and at this point it would be wrong to cheat her out of the statue! Best Actor Will it go to Eddie Redmayne for so successfully embodying Stephen Hawking in The Theory Of Everything or Michael Keaton, for playing a version of himself in Birdman? I’m falling into the Redmayne camp. Best Supporting Actor Although I loved Robert Davall in The Judge, as PostFeature viewers will remember (I cried more than buckets that day), J.K. Simmons in the aforementioned Whiplash is something else. Best Supporting Actress Please shock the world, Oscar voters, and give the award to Emma Stone for her ‘junkie daughter’ performance in Birdman. Emma Stone makes everything good. Emma Stone reading the telephone book would be a critical and commercial success. Best Director Richard Linklater for Boyhood – of the 86 films awarded Best Picture in the past, 62 have also been awarded Best Director. But I would like to see Alejandro González Iñárritu win for the single-shot Birdman. Best Cinematography Emmanuel Lubezki’s work on Birdman is the most eye-catching (one long shot!) but Mr Turner is sure to win … even though the cinematography rather takes away from its genius in creating scenes. Best Adapted Screenplay I would like to see Whiplash given another award. It doesn’t actually belong in this category but was included after the Academy decided it had been adapted from the short film that was (only) made to finance the main film. Ridiculous. Best Original Screenplay Nightcrawler may just take this one home – despite the script being the poorest part of the film. But I would really like a win for Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel, please. Best Song Also snubbed in nominations this year was Martin Luther King biopic Selma, so possibly voters will attempt to apologise by throwing it this award for the song ‘Glory’, but it really should go to The Lego Movie. Because ‘Everything Is Awesome’ makes everything awesome.

Follow me: @latestjessica

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TUESDAY 17 Ordinary Lives: Under The Same Roof LatestTV, 9.30pm There are many different ways to live in this fair city of ours – one of the reasons we love it so! Under The Same Roof looks at four housing co-ops in Brighton and the different ways they provide security and control over people’s housing needs. Very interesting indeed!

Kid Criminals Channel 4, 10pm This two-part documentary series takes a closer look at some of the highest-security juvenile prisons in the US. This’ll be something to make Fagin and his brood think twice! In their efforts to reduce the numbers of children in prison some states are trying a different approach with an emphasis on shorter sentences and rehab.

Supernatural E4, 10pm Always refreshing to see something smartly written with just as many (if not more) chaps screaming for help than ladypeople. Get in! This week, Sam makes a fresh discovery about Dean’s childhood when the boys get a call from Sonny, an old friend who runs a home for delinquent boys.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Bookenders 8.30 Bookenders 9.00 The Newspapers 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Cook It! 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News The Latest news where we are. 6.30 You Make It, We Show It Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 7.00 Best Of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Bookenders Best-selling authors talk about what inspired them to write their latest novels. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 Ordinary Lives: Under The Same Roof Looking at four different housing co-ops in Brighton and the ways in which they provide security and control over housing needs. 10.00 Growing Concerns 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Bowlegs Live music sessions and interviews with the artists. 11.30 The Brighton Lights Sessions: Thieves By The Code 12.00am Latest News 12.30 You Make It, We Show It 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Bookenders 3.00 Latest News 3.30 Ordinary Lives: Under The Same Roof 4.00 Growing Concerns 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Bowlegs 5.30 The Brighton Lights Sessions: Thieves By The Code

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 The Link 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders It’s the week of EastEnders’ 30th anniversary and it’s a week of revelations. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Drama series about life on the wards of Holby City Hospital. 9.00 The Gift Matt Baker and Mel Giedroyc follow the extraordinary and heart-warming stories of people who missed the chance to say ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ when it mattered most. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.45 Count Arthur Strong The world of ex-variety star Count Arthur Strong is livened up by the arrival of Michael. 11.15 Have I Got Old News For You Another chance to see the comedy quiz show in which celebrity contestants are grilled on the week’s news. With team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton. 11.45 FILM: Lay The Favorite (2012) Starring Bruce Willis, Rebecca Hall, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Vince Vaughn. Beth is an ex-private dancer trying to become a waitress in Las Vegas. But when she meets Dink, she changes her plans and gets into sports betting. 1.15am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Countryside 999 7.45 Real Lives Reunited 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events 10.00 Great British Railway Journeys 10.30 Map Man 11.00 South Africa Walks 11.30 The Super League Show 12.15pm FILM: The Captive Heart (1946) 1.50 The World At War 2.45 Britain’s Lost Routes With Griff Rhys Jones 3.45 Open All Hours 4.15 To The Manor Born 4.45 Hi-de-Hi! 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Two Tribes Richard Osman presents the fast-paced quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel the UK searching for treasures. 8.00 Alex Polizzi - The Fixer Alex Polizzi, champion of small businesses, finds fixes for the critical issues that kill so many companies. 9.00 Inside The Commons Four-part documentary series about the inner workings of the House of Commons. Presented by Michael Cockerell, this series takes an unprecedented look at the heart of British democracy in the run up to the 2015 general election. In the third episode, Michael sees how the traditional three-party system appears to be falling apart at the seams. 10.00 Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience Stand-up comedian Rhod Gilbert tries his hand at some proper jobs. In this edition, he faces the challenges of being a vet - from artificial insemination to dealing with constipated dogs, Rhod gets to grips with animal care. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Dragons’ Den Series in which budding entrepreneurs pitch business ideas to multimillionaires. 12.20am Sign Zone: Film 2015

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 Tipping Point 4.00 Mel & Sue 5.00 The Chase

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jai is disgusted with Laurel. Robert struggles with his guilt as Andy grieves. Emma antagonises Adam. 7.30 UEFA Champions League Live: Paris St Germain V Chelsea Mark Pougatch introduces live coverage from the Parc des Princes of the 1st leg of this last-16 tie between Paris St Germain and Chelsea. In Zlatan Ibrahimovic, PSG boast one of the most charismatic players in world football. Chelsea also know all about David Luiz, their former defender now playing for PSG. Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho will hope that Diego Costa can give Luiz a torrid time as Chelsea look to build a platform for the return leg at Stamford Bridge next month. Expert comes from Roy Keane, Paul Scholes and Lee Dixon, with commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Mark Pougatch presents highlights of Chelsea’s visit to PSG. 11.40 FILM: Carry On Girls (1973) Starring Sid James, Joan Sims, Kenneth Connor, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Bresslaw and June Whitfield. Bawdy comedy. 1.10am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.35 Undercover Boss Canada 11.30 Shipping Wars UK 12.15pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.20 Couples Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen soap. A reminder of the past makes things worse for John Paul. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot: The Liberal Democrats 8.00 Can Property Pay Your Wages? Documentary. Burnley businessman and TV star Dave Fishwick steps in to help ordinary Brits whose property projects and finances are heading for disaster. Can he get them back on track? 9.00 The Romanians Are Coming Three-part documentary series. A look at the lives of a group of Romanians trying to make a new life in Britain, exploring what has caused them to leave their country behind, the difficulty of life settling into a new country and whether or not it will live up to their expectations. This first episode meets Alex, who lived in Canada for years but is now trying to find a job in London. 10.00 Kid Criminals See highlights. 11.00 Kicked Out Kids Observational documentary. 12.05am PokerStars.com & Monte-Carlo Casino EPT Grand Final 1.00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.25 Trans World Sport 2.20 Dispatches: Car Parks 2.50 Jon Richardson Grows Up 3.45 Kirstie’s Vintage Home 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.35 Face The Clock

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends: Thrills And Spills 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Cowboy Builders 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Goodnight For Justice 3: Queen Of Hearts (2013) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away A distraught Maddy rushes out of hospital after discovering that she has cancer. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series. 8.00 Costa Del Casualty: Benidorm ER Documentary series following the medical teams and their British patients at Benidorm’s busy hospital and affiliated GP practice. 9.00 Killer Psychopaths Documentary series presented by criminologist Professor David Wilson. John Duffy and David Mulcahy, aka the Railway Killers, were a rare example of two psychopaths working together. Visiting key locations and speaking to those directly involved in the case, Professor Wilson delves into the men’s past. 10.00 10,000 BC Reality series in which 20 Brits try to survive for two months in the equivalent of the Stone Age. It is Day 22 of the experiment, and the tribe have returned to camp. 11.00 The Ten Faces Of Michael Jackson Documentary reconstructing the many layers of facial cosmetic surgery that Michael Jackson had during his life. 11.55 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Observational documentary series. 12.55am SuperCasino 3.10 My Family Disapprove - Age Gap Love 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 The Simpsons (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Flash 9.00 Modern Family (x2) 10.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x3) 2.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm EastEnders: 30 Years Of Cliffhangers 7.30 World’s Craziest Fools 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 The Graham Norton Show EastEnders Special 10.00 Uncle 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 Uncle 1.00 South Side Story 1.30 An Idiot’s Guide To Politics

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys 8.00 Digging For Britain 9.00 Roman Britain: A Timewatch Guide 10.00 The Man Who Discovered Egypt 11.00 Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age Of The British Sports Car 12.00am Sounds Of The 70s 2 12.25 Wallander

10.15am FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 12.10pm Emmerdale 12.40 Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 8.00 Dinner Date 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen 10.00 Cockroaches 10.35 Plebs (x2) 11.35 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 12.05am Two And A Half Men (x2)

10.40am Judge Judy (x3) 12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 1.00 Heartbeat 2.05 Where The Heart Is 3.15 The Royal 4.20 Fresh Fields 4.55 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.05am Wycliffe

4.30pm Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 The 100 10.00 Supernatural. See highlights. 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rules Of Engagement (x2)

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Walking Through History: Victoria And Albert’s Highland Fling 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 10.00 Grand Designs Australia 11.05 Gogglebox 12.15am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am The Quiet Man (1952) 1.35pm At The Earth’s Core (1976) 3.25 Arizona Raiders (1965) 5.05 The Seventh Voyage Of Sinbad (1958) 6.50 The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (2010) 9.00 The Lovely Bones (2009) 11.35 Magic Mike (2012) 1.45am Mona Lisa (1986)

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WEDNESDAY 18 The Vote Latest TV, 8pm There’s only a couple of months until the general election and people are starting to pick apart the differences between council representation and parliament representation with the political parties. Candidates are beginning to doorstop, and campaign leaflets arrive. Good thing Frank le Duc is on hand to guide us all.

Wolf Hall BBC2, 9pm Doesn’t it look hot riding on a horse with all that garb on? No wonder you hear stories of a winch being needed to get him into the saddle. Speaking of which, Henry has been declared supreme head of the church in England but the Holy Roman Emperor refuses to recognise the title, or the marriage to Anne.

Tiny House Nation More4, 9pm Ever thought your home could be a bit larger? Then check out these marvellous and ingenious small dwelling spaces for a few tips to make the most of every inch of your abode. A young couple with a toddler are moving into a tiny house in Tennessee – it’s only 172 square feet! Can they really fit everything in?

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Bookenders 8.30 Bookenders 9.00 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 9.30 Best Of Brighton Lights 10.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 12.00 Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Cook It! 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 6.30 Post Feature All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren-Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show with presenters Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Millionaires’ Row From penthouse to pool, take an exclusive tour of exceptional, ourstanding and unique dream homes. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 Millionaires’ Row 10.00 Millionaires’ Row 10.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national updates. 11.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions: Rha Stranges Musical guests and band highlights from the Brighton Lights live sessions. 11.30 The Brighton Lights Sessions: Black Rooster Highlights from Brighton Lights live sessions. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Post Festure 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Millionaires’ Row 3.00 Latest News 3.30 Millionaires’ Row (x2) 4.30 Latest News 5.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions (x2)

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 The Link 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Christian and Tanya return to Albert Square for the wedding. As we get closer to discovering who killed Lucy Beale, the pressure grows for Jane and Ian. 8.30 The Great Comic Relief Bake Off The Great British Bake Off returns with four special Comic Relief programmes. In the second episode, Mel Giedroyc welcomes four more gallant celebrities into the Bake Off tent to test out their baking expertise. They are Gok Wan, Jonathan Ross, Abbey Clancy and Zoe Sugg - also known as internet sensation Zoella. 9.30 Room 101 This fast-moving game show meets talk show sees Frank Skinner refereeing three celebrities as they compete to banish their top peeve or worst nightmare. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.45 A Question Of Sport Lighthearted sports quiz. 11.15 Film 2015 The latest film reviews, news and interviews. 11.50 FILM: Someone To Watch Over Me (1987) Starring Tom Berenger, Mimi Rogers, Lorraine Bracco, Jerry Orbach. Stylish, visually attractive romantic thriller. 1.30am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.35 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Countryside 999 7.45 Real Lives Reunited 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 What’s The Right Diet For You? A Horizon Special 10.00 Great British Railway Journeys 10.30 See Hear 11.00 Map Man 11.30 Coast 11.55 FILM: Carve Her Name With Pride (1958) 1.50pm The World At War 2.45 Britain’s Lost Routes With Griff Rhys Jones 3.45 Open All Hours 4.15 To The Manor Born 4.45 Hi-de-Hi! 5.15 Flog It! 5.55 Party Political Broadcast 6.00 Two Tribes Richard Osman presents the fast-paced quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel the UK searching for treasures. James Braxton and Helen Hall begin in Bristol before heading to Corsham and Weybridge and then on to auctions in Swindon and Wokingham in Berkshire. 8.00 Alaska: Earth’s Frozen Kingdom Three-part series following pioneering Alaskans, both animal and human, as they battle the elements and reap the benefits of nature’s seasonal gold rush. One of the most iconic wildernesses on the planet, Alaska is America’s last frontier and by far its biggest state. It has deep forests and vast mountain ranges, and a third of it sits above the Arctic Circle. In this wild place, grizzly bears grow big on a sudden wealth of salmon, and a huge male moose finds unlikely ways to impress a female. 9.00 Wolf Hall See highlights. 10.00 Up The Women Sitcom. The BICCPRWS are taken hostage when the hall is used as a polling station. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Inside The Commons Documentary. 12.20am Sign Zone: See Hear

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.25 Party Political Broadcast By The Conservative Party 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie hopes she has got through to Andy. The factory is shocked by Laurel’s outburst. Jai and Priya disagree over Kirin. 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Midsomer Murders The fizz goes out of a sparkling wine launch when the glasses are laced with slug poison. Barnaby tries to find out just who is targeting the Midsomer Vinae Winery, and what does the attack have to do with the death of a child in a hit-and-run accident? 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Exposure: Charities Behaving Badly There are over 160,000 registered charities in England and Wales, with a combined income of more than 60 billion pounds. Exposure reveals stories of racism, religious bigotry, and extreme political activity within some of them. When you give money, do you really know where it is going? Presented by Mark Austin. 11.40 I Never Knew That About Britain Series exploring Britain’s rich and surprising history and revealing some of the nation’s most unusual and fascinating stories. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.35 Undercover Boss Canada 11.30 Shipping Wars UK 12.15pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.20 Couples Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Grace zeroes in on a new ally in her plot against Freddie. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 The Restoration Man George Clarke travels the British Isles meeting people hoping to restore architectural treasures. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital in south west London. This episode focuses on patients who’ve found love in unexpected ways. 10.00 Junk Food Kids: Who’s To Blame? Documentary. We meet patients at the Leeds Children’s Hospital’s obesity clinic, where there’s a four-month waiting list. Thirteen-year-old Pavia has put on four-and-a-half stone in the last year, and her mum Clare is worried her daughter’s weight gain is getting out of control. Ninety per cent of mum Natalie’s shop is convenience food. 11.00 Kid Criminals Two-part documentary which explores some of the highest-security juvenile prisons in the US. 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.55 FILM: The Love Guru (2008) 2.25 FILM: The Bedford Incident (1965) 4.10 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.05 Kirstie’s Vintage Home

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends: Thrills And Spills 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Classic Car Show 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.20 FILM: In The Dark (2012) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Matt’s plans for the spare room are derailed when Leah invites Nate to move in. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Cowboy Builders Documentary series exposing dodgy builders. In 2011, Cowboy Builders fixed the home of a retired couple who had fallen foul of a builder from their village. Dominic Littlewood returns. 8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Observational documentary series. 9.00 World’s Biggest Hips Lighthearted documentary about four women who never ask if their bum looks big in anything. They are big and proud. Mikel Ruffinelli’s hips are eight feet in circumference and just loves her ‘unique physique’, Austrianborn model Claudia works as a plussize model in LA, New Yorker Marlena goes wild in the dance studio, and Denise aka ‘Sweet Cheeks’ makes a living selling clips of her curves to men who like hips to grip. 10.00 FILM: Erin Brockovich (2000) Starring Julia Roberts, Albert Finney, Aaron Eckhart, David Brisbin. Factbased drama about a single mother who stumbles upon a plot to cover up an environmental accident. 12.45am True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 1.10 SuperCasino 3.10 Britain’s Biggest Primary School 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 The Simpsons (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Modern Family (x2) 8.00 The Fanatics 9.00 Stella 10.00 Flintoff: Lord Of The Fries 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm EastEnders: 30 Years Of Cliffhangers 8.00 Bangkok Airport 9.00 Revolution Presents: Democracy Dealers 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 Revolution Presents: Democracy Dealers

7.00pm News 7.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys 8.00 African Railway 9.00 Infested! Living With Parasites 10.00 The Great Sex Addict Heist: The Dog - Storyville 11.30 Sex: A Horizon Guide 12.30am Asylum 1.00 Bob Servant 1.30 Wallander 3.00 Infested! Living With Parasites

9.35am Catchphrase 10.15 FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 12.10pm Emmerdale 12.40 The Cube 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 8.00 FILM: Miss Congeniality (2000) 10.15 The Ibiza Weekender 11.15 Reality Bites 12.00am Cockroaches 12.35 Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.20 Dads

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Where The Heart Is 3.10 The Royal 4.15 Fresh Fields 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Paul O’Grady: For The Love Of Dogs (x2) 9.00 Billy Connolly’s Big Send Off 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Cracker (x2) 1.15am Northern Lights

4.00pm New Girl 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 FILM: Furry Vengeance (2010) 9.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 10.50 2 Broke Girls 11.20 Marry Me 11.50 Taking New York 12.55am The Inbetweeners

2.30pm Time Team 3.35 Walking Through History: Norman Conquest Of Pembrokeshire 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Tiny House Nation. See highlights. 10.00 Ramsay’s Costa Del Nightmares 11.00 Gogglebox 12.05am Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

11.00am The Last Frontier (1955) 1.05pm Hobson’s Choice (1954) 3.15 Three Worlds Of Gulliver (1960) 5.15 The Desert Fox (1951) 7.00 Down To You (2000) 9.00 Independence Day (1996) 11.45 Rust And Bone (2012) 2.10am Choke (2008) 4.00 Close

000_LS716_TV_thu_L7wed14apr.qxd 11/02/2015 15:35 Page 1

THURSDAY 19 Brighton Lights LatestTV, 7pm Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller host proceedings as the latest stories from around Brighton and the most interesting and talented people from the area – and visiting our fair city – all come together and assemble on the Brighton Lights sofa. It’s alright, it’s sturdy, with some pretty strong upholstery. Tune in.

The Mentalist Channel Five, 10pm What do you do after years of isolationist mourning for your dead wife? When you finally find love again (and you’re in a C5 crime drama) it’s probably a bit reckless to wave her off happily as she goes undercover as a prison cellmate to the girlfriend of a ruthless smuggler. Slap your forehead indeed, Mr Jane!

Scorpion ITV2, 9pm Isn’t it great when brainy people get to save the world – repeatedly – using just the power of their mighty grey cells? Proving that a mismatched socially awkward group of geniuses is exactly who you want at a party at the end of the universe, this ensemble provide a mightily entertaining evening.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Bookenders 8.30 Bookenders 9.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 9.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 10.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 12.00 Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Cook It! 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 6.30 Post Feature All the latest movie news with Jessica Kellgren-Hayes and Joseph Gunn 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show with presenters Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport, featuring news about all the squads and competitions. 8.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport, featuring news about all the squads and competitions. 9.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport, featuring news about all the squads and competitions. 10.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 11.00 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 11.30 Bowlegs 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Post Feature 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 Albion Night 2.30 Albion Night 3.30 Albion Night 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 The Link 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders It’s been ten months since Lucy Beale was murdered. In this hour-long episode, brutal truths about who killed her are finally revealed. With many names still in the frame, who did kill Lucy? 8.30 Death In Paradise Detective drama series. When a British policeman is found murdered in a locked room on the tiny paradise island of Saint-Marie, Detective Inspector Richard Poole is sent to investigate. He’s the perfect man to solve the case. Unfortunately for Richard, he hates sun, sea and sand. 9.30 EastEnders EastEnders goes back in time to Good Friday 2014. In this special flashback episode, viewers finally have a chance to see exactly what happened to Lucy on that fateful night. This episode fills in the blanks and answers questions. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Stockton-on-Tees. 11.45 FILM: AI: Artificial Intelligence (2001) Starring Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O’Connor, Jake Thomas, William Hurt. Futuristic version of Pinocchio. 2.00am Skiing Weatherview 2.05 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Countryside 999 7.45 Real Lives Reunited 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 Pets - Wild At Heart 10.00 Great British Railway Journeys 10.30 Map Man 11.00 South Africa Walks 11.30 FILM: Battle Cry (1955) 1.50pm The World At War 2.45 Britain’s Lost Routes With Griff Rhys Jones 3.45 Open All Hours 4.15 To The Manor Born 4.45 Hi-de-Hi! 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Two Tribes Quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Quiz show. 7.00 Cycling: Track World Championships Jonathan Edwards presents live coverage of the 2015 Track Cycling World Championships. 8.00 The Great British Sewing Bee The Great British Sewing Bee returns for a six-part series presented by Claudia Winkleman. Claudia takes the eight sewers back in time to the 50s when home sewing was at its height. Having transformed the sewing room in line with the era, judges Patrick Grant and May Martin have also tracked down one of the biggest selling dressmaking patterns. 9.00 Reinventing The Royals Twopart series about the battle between the monarchy and the media over personal privacy and public image. After the tragic death of Princess Diana, Prince Charles hired a new type of royal press advisor in the form of spin doctor Mark Bolland. 10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe Charlie is joined by a variety of great guests to point out the madness of our modern world. Whether it’s news, TV or just the latest thing, Charlie has something to say about it. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 A Cook Abroad: John Torode’s Argentina Cooking show. 12.20am Sign Zone: Can You Cure My Cancer?

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.45 Emmerdale The villagers say goodbye to Katie. Robert races to save Andy. Laurel is forced to lie to Marlon. 7.45 UEFA Europa League Live: Liverpool V Besiktas Matt Smith presents live coverage from Anfield as Liverpool take on Turkey’s Besiktas with analysis from Gordon Strachan, Peter Reid and former Liverpool striker Robbie Fowler. After an indifferent first half of the season, Brendon Rodgers’ Liverpool side are starting to string some results together, and the return from injury of striker Daniel Sturridge has provided a much needed boost. With commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.10 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.55 The Great War: The People’s Story One hundred years after the outbreak of the First World War, this dramatised documentary series uses the original diaries, letters, and memoirs of the men and women who were caught up in a conflict which would change their lives and their country forever. 11.55 River Monsters Extreme fisherman Jeremy Wade seeks out more dangerous freshwater fish. 12.20am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.35 Undercover Boss Canada 11.30 Shipping Wars UK 12.15pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.20 Couples Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Will it be all-out war or happy families for the Roscoes when Joe makes a shock appearance at JJ’s naming ceremony? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Location, Location, Location Property advice series with Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer. 9.00 Cucumber Drama series exploring 21st century gay life. Henry’s secrets and lies catch up with him, while Lance’s wildest dreams are in danger of coming true, as Daniel makes an extraordinary move. But when Adam and Tomasz’s secret online empire starts running out of control, Henry is set on a collision course with everyone he loves. 10.00 My Tattoo Addiction Documentary series looking at the world of tattoos and exploring the unique stories behind every design. The first episode features people whose addiction to body art has had a profound effect on the way they live their lives. 11.05 The Romanians Are Coming Documentary looking at economic migration. 12.05am CCTV: Caught On Camera 1.05 One Born Every Minute 2.00 The Supervet 2.55 Food Unwrapped 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.15 Kirstie’s Vintage Home 5.10 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends: Thrills And Spills 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.10 Cedar Cove: Suspicious Minds 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Despite her better judgement, and Denny’s interference, Hannah rekindles her romance with Andy. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Classic Car Show Documentary series celebrating classic cars presented by Quentin Willson and Jodie Kidd. 8.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series about people who live on welfare. 9.00 Britain’s Biggest Primary School Observational series filmed over the course of two school terms at Gascoigne Primary, a superschool in Barking, east London. Cleyson, Lewis and Toby are just three of the school’s 500+ pupils. One has anger management problems, one has ADHD and the other has had difficulty in settling in. This film follows their stories. 10.00 The Mentalist See highlights. 10.55 Castle US crime drama series. Castle and Beckett face an unusual case when a costumed superhero patrolling New York is suspected of murder. 11.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours Award-winning partdramatised documentary of true crime mysteries. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 The Simpsons (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World 10.00 The Making Of Critical 10.30 Quiz Nights 11.30 NCIS: Los Angeles (x3) 2.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x3)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes IV: May The Fourth Be With You 7.30 Top Gear 8.30 EastEnders: 30 Years Of Cliffhangers 9.00 Bangkok Airport 10.00 EastEnders (x2) 11.30 Family Guy 12.15am American Dad! 12.40 Bangkok Airport 1.35 Revolution Presents: Democracy Dealers

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1980 8.00 Pain, Pus And Poison: The Search For Modern Medicines 9.00 Saints And Sinners: Britain’s Millennium Of Monasteries 10.00 Roman Britain: A Timewatch Guide 11.00 Digging For Britain 12.00am Top Of The Pops: 1980 12.40 Sounds Of The 70s

1.40pm Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scorpion. See highlights. 10.00 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 10.30 Reality Bites 11.15 Cockroaches 11.45 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am Dads

10.45am Judge Judy (x3) 12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Where The Heart Is 3.10 The Royal 4.15 Fresh Fields 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Foyle’s War 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Trial And Retribution 12.05am FILM: Parenthood (1989)

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 9.30 Marry Me 10.00 Banana 10.30 The Inbetweeners 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Revenge

11.40am FILM: Went The Day Well? (1944) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Walking Through History 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 The Hoarder Next Door 11.00 Gogglebox 12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am Guns Of Fort Petticoat (1957) 12.40pm The Lost World (1960) 2.35 The Moonraker (1958) 4.20 The Long Gray Line (1955) 7.00 St Trinian’s (2007) 9.00 This Means War (2012) 10.55 The Look Of Love (2013) 1.00am Showgirls (1995) 3.45 Close

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000_LS716_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 12/02/2015 11:53 Page 1

FRIDAY 20 The Million Pound Drop Channel 4, 8pm It’s a new series of the show, with Davina on hand to up the ante, and your trusty laptop or smart device (makes it sound like you live with Metal Mickey!) close by so that you too can play along from home and see how long you last compared to the contestants. Can you hang on to a million pounds?

NCIS: New Orleans Channel 5, 9pm It would seem that crime programmes made up of letters are also destined to have locations added to them, thus announcing a franchise and the success of the programme. Hurrah! Having already been to LA, the naval investigators are now set up in New Orleans. Better have good tunes...

EastEnders: 30 Years Of Cliffhangers BBC3, 7.30pm Coming to the end of EastEnders week, with tonight’s episodes recorded live, an evening of EastEnders music (whatever that may be) on BBC Radio 2, as well as a behind the scenes show – make sure you don’t miss this gem of “Bop! Bop!...” moments as the credits roll. Classic.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Bookenders 8.30 Bookenders 9.00 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 9.30 Best Of Brighton Lights 10.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 12.00 Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Cook It! 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss this week’s press stories. 7.00 Brighton Lights Entertainment show with presenters Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank le Duc covers local and national politics and the upcoming key elections for our future. Expect heated debates as Brighton decides on Latest TV! 8.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 9.00 You Make It, We Show It! 9.30 Sketchers Quick fire comedy character and sketch show. 10.00 Modern Toss 10.30 Modern Toss 11.00 Noise Reel A wave of music news and entertainment to your ears. 11.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 12.00am Bowlegs 12.30 Under The Radar 1.00 Under The Radar 1.30 Bored Gamers 2.30 Funny Farm 3.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions 3.30 Noise Reel 4.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 4.30 Under The Radar (x2) 5.30 Noise Reel Extra: Sea City Music 5.45 Noise Reel Extra: Paul Thomas Saunders

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 The Link 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Lighthearted sports quiz, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders With the truth about Lucy now out, certain residents are left to face the brutal facts about her death. Many other secrets and revelations have also been revealed for other residents - will things ever be the same? This episode is live. 8.30 EastEnders: Backstage Live Another visit to the residents of Albert Square, for a daily dose of drama, excitement and tears. 9.00 The Musketeers Historical drama series about the infamous adventurers. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. Expect the unexpected as top celebrity guests join in the fun with Graham and his irrepressible audience. 11.20 Bluestone 42 Comedy series about a British bomb disposal detachment in Afghanistan. 11.55 FILM: The Guardian (2006) 2.05am Weather For The Week Ahead 2.10 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Countryside 999 7.45 Real Lives Reunited 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 The Big Allotment Challenge 10.00 Food & Drink 10.30 Map Man 11.00 South Africa Walks 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm FILM: The Password Is Courage (1962) 1.50 The World At War 2.45 Coast 3.45 Open All Hours 4.15 To The Manor Born 4.45 Hi-de-Hi! 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Two Tribes Quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Quiz show. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel the UK searching for treasures. 8.00 Mastermind The subjects are Inspector Morse, the life of CB Fry, the life of Reinhard Heydrich, the life and career of Jack Johnson and the Gospel according to Mark. 8.30 Food & Drink Chef and pub landlord Tom Kerridge plays host to some of the best cooks in a series highlighting all that is excellent in food and drink. 9.00 Italy Unpacked Andrew Graham-Dixon and Giorgio Locatelli explore the culture and cuisine of Italy, travelling from the tip of the heel up Italy’s dramatic east coast. The second leg of Andrew and Giorgio’s journey takes them to the heart of Italy and the regions of Le Marche and Umbria. 10.00 QI Quiz show in which the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry goes on location in the company of Jason Manford, Aisling Bea, Johnny Vegas and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 FILM: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Starring Keir Dullea, Gary Lockwood, William Sylvester, Daniel Richter. Classic sci-fi. 1.20am FILM: The Abominable Snowman (1957) 2.45 Sign Zone: Question Time

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The news about Andy spreads. 8.00 Barging Round Britain With John Sergeant Series in which John Sergeant sets off on a rich and colourful voyage along the eight best canal journeys Britain has to offer, exploring their extraordinary stories as he goes. 8.30 Coronation Street 9.00 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive Bear Grylls presents the series in which eight celebrities face a 12-day survival mission through the rainforest of Costa Rica. To stay alive they must learn to navigate the terrain, build shelters, make fire and supplement their meagre army rations with whatever they can forage. At the end of each episode, one of them faces elimination. At the end of the series three finalists will remain, of whom just one will be acclaimed Mission Survivor. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights England continue their quest for World Cup glory. 11.40 FILM: Air America (1990) Starring Mel Gibson, Robert Downey Jr, Nancy Travis. Lighthearted action tale about a pair of US pilots. 1.35am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.35 Undercover Boss Canada 11.30 Shipping Wars UK 12.15pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.20 Couples Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Freddie decides to flee. Joe seizes the chance to get Lindsey back, but Lindsey’s got her own agenda. When Tony offers to help Darren with his love life, things don’t go to plan. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Million Pound Drop See highlights. 9.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular shows. 10.00 The Last Leg With Adam Hills Adam Hills and regular co-hosts Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker consider the weird and wonderful talking points of the week in the company of a studio audience. 11.10 Catastrophe Sitcom about an Irish woman and an American man whose brief affair turns into a disastrous, full-blown relationship when she falls pregnant. 11.40 Brooklyn Nine-Nine US police sitcom. Jake hits it off with Sophia, a woman whom he meets at a bar, only to find out she is the defence attorney for a perpetrator he is trying to put in jail. 12.10am Rude Tube 1.00 FILM: Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) 2.35 The Ricky Gervais Show 3.05 The Ricky Gervais Show 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.20 Face The Clock

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends: Thrills And Spills 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Police Interceptors 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles 3.15 FILM: Patricia Cornwell’s Deadly Encounter (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Phoebe is downcast after having abandoned her music career, so Kyle does his best to encourage her to keep playing. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt Documentary series following Odyssey Marine Exploration’s attempts to locate three shipwrecks and recover their treasures in just four months. 8.00 Secrets Of St Paul’s Cathedral Structural engineer Steve Burrows explores the world’s most iconic engineering ventures using new 3D laser-scanning technology. Steve visits St Paul’s Cathedral, London, to learn more about this iconic architectural masterpiece. 9.00 NCIS: New Orleans See highlights. 10.00 NCIS US naval crime drama series. Parsons works with Gibbs following a lethal bombing at a formal party. 10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series. An investigation into a robbery raises some painful family issues for Elliot. 11.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours Award-winning partdramatised documentary of true crime mysteries. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 The Simpsons (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Flintoff: Lord Of The Fries 9.00 Stella 10.00 Quiz Nights 11.00 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) 12.55am Hawaii Five-0 (x3)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes IV 7.30 EastEnders: 30 Years Of Cliffhangers. See highlights. 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 EastEnders: Backstage Live 9.30 Uncle 10.00 I Survived A Zombie Apocalypse 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 EastEnders: Backstage Live (x2) 12.30am Family Guy

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sounds Of The Sixties 8.00 Daniil Trifonov: The Magics Of Music 9.00 Hello Quo 10.20 Status Quo: Live And Acoustic 11.20 Acoustic At The BBC 12.20am Hello Quo 1.40 Status Quo: Live And Acoustic 2.40 Acoustic At The BBC

9.30am Catchphrase 10.15 FILM: The Little Vampire (2000) 12.10pm Emmerdale 1.15 You’ve Been Framed! 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 11.05 Take Me Out 12.15am Take Me Out: The Gossip

12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 1.00 Heartbeat 2.05 Where The Heart Is 3.10 The Royal 4.15 Fresh Fields 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Trial And Retribution 12.00am Hamish Macbeth (x2)

3.00pm Melissa & Joey 3.30 Rules Of Engagement 4.00 New Girl 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Run, Fat Boy, Run (2007) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am 2 Broke Girls

10.00am A Place In The Sun 10.35 FILM: Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Walking Through History 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Bank Job (2008) 11.10 The Golden Rules Of Porn 12.50am Ramsay’s Costa Del Nightmares

11.00am The Desperadoes (1943) 12.45pm Storm Over The Nile (1955) 3.00 Sea Devils (1953) 4.50 Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid (1969) 7.15 The Waterboy (1999) 9.00 Don’t Say A Word (2001) 11.15 Byzantium (2012) 1.35am Berberian Sound Studio (2012) 3.30 Close

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SATURDAY 21 The Voice UK BBC1, 7pm It’s the very last of the blind auditions, meaning that coaches will.i.am, Sir Tom Jones, Rita Ora and Ricky Wilson have very few precious places left on their teams – but also desperately need to fill the vacancies they do have. Hopefuls include a Disney princess, a burlesque dancer and a male Tina Turner impersonator.

FILM: Silver Lining Playbook Channel 4, 9pm With so many nods at the Oscars you would be forgiven for mistaking this as that Churchill dog on the back of cars, but no – it’s simply a really good, sweet, funny, heartbreaking, brilliant comedy drama. With Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence playing damaged-quirky.

The Keith Lemon Sketch Show ITV2, 11.10pm Back where he started, there may be no Craig David in this lot but you can bet a few catchphrases and impressions will be making their way to the school yard on Monday off the back of this collection of celebrity ‘interpretations’. Ed Sheeran to One Direction – no one’s safe.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Under The Radar (x4) 8.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 8.30 Noise Reel 9.00 Albion Night 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 2.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 4.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 5.00 Post Feature 5.30 Cook It!

6.00 The Newspapers 6.30 Best Of Brighton Lights 7.00 Brighton Lights A nightly entertainment show presented by Guy Lloyd and Lynn Ruth Miller. Expect to see all the talent from Brighton and beyond. 7.30 You Make It, We Show It! 8.00 Latest News The Latest News where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates. 8.30 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 9.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news plus national and international updates 10.00 Best Of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 10.30 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you. 11.00 Bowlegs Presenting live music and interviews with the artists. 11.30 Under The Radar 0With Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings. 12.00am Under The Radar 12.30 Latest News 1.00 FilmFest on TV 3.00 Bored Gamers 4.00 Bowlegs 4.30 Latest News 5.00 You Make It, We Show It! 5.30 Under The Radar

BBC1

BBC2

6.10 BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Now You See It Fast-paced entertainment series voiced by Mel Giedroyc, featuring the best and worst of magic and other incredible performers from around the world. Featuring magic tricks, bizarre stunts, embarrassing fails and of course the answer to the eternal question ‘where on Earth is Debbie McGee?’ 7.00 The Voice UK See highlights. 8.25 The National Lottery: Win Your Wish List Shane Richie hosts the game show that sees couples playing to win the prizes of their dreams. Will they be able to hold their nerve and take the pressure as they attempt win their wish list? Also including the National Lottery Lotto and Thunderball draws, hosted by Gaby Roslin. Chef Marco Pierre White pushes the Lotto button. 9.15 Casualty Lofty and Dylan bond (sort of) over a patient with a big secret. Connie helps a teenage girl accept that she needs help. 10.05 BBC News 10.25 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Premier League. 11.50 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin presents drama from all three divisions of the Football League. 1.10am EastEnders 4.05 Weather For The Week Ahead 4.10 BBC News

6.35 Flog It! Flog It! is in the holiday destination of Skegness. 7.30 How We Got To Now With Steven Johnson From submariners who live on an 18-hour day to the railway clerk who fought to standardise time zones, and the cobbler who invented the first cheap watch, innovation expert Steven Johnson discovers the surprising journey of time in our lives. He locates the unsung heroes whose ideas transformed our world of time from the sundial to clocks accurate to billionths of a second. 8.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Private Pike receives his callup papers and, to the great alarm of his mother, he is passed A1. 9.00 Songs Of The South La, la, laaaaa, la-la-laaaaa... 10.00 FILM: Gambit (1966) Starring Michael Caine, Shirley MacLaine, Herbert Lom, Roger Carmel, John Abbott, Arnold Moss, Richard Angarola and Maurice Marsac. Fastmoving heist tale about a cockney thief who conspires with a mysterious and enigmatic Eurasian girl to carry out the perfect robbery by stealing a valuable sculpture from under the nose of its ruthless owner. 11.20 FILM: Spider (2002) Starring Ralph Fiennes, Miranda Richardson, Gabriel Byrne, Bradley Hall, Lynn Redgrave, John Neville, Gary Reineke and Philip Craig. Atmospheric thriller.

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Mary Berry Cooks 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 12.50 Saturday Sportsday 1.00 Athletics 4.30 Final Score 5.20 Pointless Celebrities

7.25am FILM: Summer Magic (1963) 9.10 Fred Dibnah’s Age Of Steam 9.40 The Fred Dibnah Story 10.10 British Isles: A Natural History 11.00 Six Nations Rewind 12.00pm Food & Drink 12.30 A Taste Of Britain 1.00 A Taste Of Britain 1.30 On The Waterfront: Talking Pictures 2.00 FILM: On The Waterfront (1954) 3.45 FILM: The Go-Between (1971) 5.35 The Great British Sewing Bee

ITV1

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Nerds & Monsters 7.50 Adventure Time 8.30 Horrid Henry 8.50 Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.35 The Unforgettable Hattie Jacques 2.05 The Chase 3.05 Doc Martin 4.05 Big Star’s Little Star 5.05 ITV News Meridian 5.15 ITV News & Weather 5.25 You’ve Been Framed! Presents... 6.30 Planet’s Got Talent Warwick Davis narrates a series which features some of the very best and worst acts that the world has to offer. 7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 8.25 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness presents the show in which 30 single girls battle it out for a dream date on the Isle of Fernandos. On a mission to impress the girls this time are builder Rich from Birmingham, blacksmith Andy from Glastonbury, business manager Ashley from London and estate agent Ross from Huddersfield. Paddy also checks out the dating action from last week’s couples. Did any of them find lasting love on Fernandos? 9.40 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan Ross welcomes the absolutely fabulous Jennifer Saunders, Take Me Out host Paddy McGuinness, and the hilarious film and TV star Nick Frost. 10.40 ITV News; Weather 10.55 FILM: I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry (2007) Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Dan Aykroyd, Ving Rhames. Comedy. Two straight New York firemen hatch a plan to scam extra benefits by entering into a civil partnership together. 12.55am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.10am How I Met Your Mother 6.35 How I Met Your Mother 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 The Morning Line 9.00 The King Of Queens 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.30 Frasier 11.00 Frasier 11.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.55 The Big Bang Theory 12.25pm Child Genius 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Come Dine With Me 5.15 The Big Bang Theory 5.45 The Simpsons 6.10 The Simpsons 6.40 Channel 4 News 7.00 Homes By The Sea Architectural designer Charlie Luxton embarks on a nationwide journey to visit some of Britain’s best homes by the sea. In this episode, Charlie travels to south-west Wales to visit some fantastic homes built on the rugged Pembrokeshire coast. 8.00 The World’s Weirdest Weather Exploring the mysteries behind some of the world’s most bizarre weather, hearing eyewitness accounts from those who have experienced these climatic extremes first-hand. This episode shows weather at its weirdest and fastest, as a cloud envelops a supersonic jet. 9.00 FILM: Silver Linings Playbook (2012) See highlights. 11.25 FILM: Green Zone (2010) Starring Matt Damon, Brendan Gleeson, Jason Isaacs, Greg Kinnear and Amy Ryan. Action thriller about a US Army warrant officer tasked with hunting for weapons of mass destruction in post-war Baghdad. As the team continue to search unsuccessfully, leading officer Roy Miller begins to suspect that the intelligence they are working from is false. 1.35am The Last Leg With Adam Hills 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.30 Location, Location, Location 5.25 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Wanda And The Alien 8.40 Zack And Quack 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 SpongeBob SquarePants 10.35 Chinese Food In Minutes 10.55 The Dog Rescuers 11.20 Ice Road Truckers 12.15pm Ice Road Truckers 1.10 Ice Road Truckers 2.10 Ice Road Truckers 3.05 FILM: Columbo: How To Dial A Murder (1978) 4.35 FILM: Columbo: Murder, A Self-Portrait (1989) 6.25 NCIS American crime drama. While on medical leave, Ducky decides to reopen a 12-year-old case by ordering the exhumation of a Navy commander’s body. 7.05 NCIS American crime drama. The NCIS team investigate a helicopter crash on shore and have to locate the missing pilot. 8.00 5 News Weekend 8.05 Law And Order Powerful American drama about the investigation and prosecution of crime. A white teenager and a young black girl are found shot dead, but Lupo and Green find that the locals are unwilling to tell them what happened. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series. Brody, Sidle and Finlay take a break from normal duty and try to relax at a forensics conference, but their girlsonly getaway is disrupted by an excolleague, an old flame, and a tragic mass shooting on the site itself. 10.00 World Championship Boxing: Live From Monte Carlo An exciting evening of first-class boxing from the Salle Des Etoiles in Monte Carlo. 12.15am SuperCasino 3.10 10,000 BC 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Angels Of Jarm 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 Angels Of Jarm 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Roary The Racing Car Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 2.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 3.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 4.00 The Simpsons 4.30 Modern Family (x4) 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) 10.55 Hawaii Five-0 11.55 NCIS: Los Angeles 12.55am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.20 Top Gear 8.25 FILM: Meet The Parents (2000) 10.10 Live At The Apollo 10.40 Family Guy (x6) 12.55am Crims (x6)

7.00pm Tiger Island: Natural World Special 8.00 A Very British Murder With Lucy Worsley 9.00 Hostages (x2) 10.20 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe 10.50 Queens Of Heartache 11.50 Queens Of Jazz: The Joy And Pain Of The Jazz Divas 12.50am Top Of The Pops: 1980 1.30 Sounds Of The 70s 2 2.00 Tiger Island

5.25pm FILM: Back To The Future (1985) 7.45 FILM: Evan Almighty (2007) 9.40 Take Me Out: The Gossip 10.25 Reality Bites 11.10 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show. See highlights. 11.35 Ibiza Weekender 12.35am FILM: The Invention Of Lying (2009) 2.25 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

6.00am Judge Judy 6.20 Agatha Christie’s Marple 8.20 Where The Heart Is (x2) 10.35 The Darling Buds Of May 11.45 A Touch Of Frost 1.55pm Wycliffe 3.05 FILM: Carry On Again, Doctor (1969) 4.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 6.55 Doc Martin 8.00 Foyle’s War 10.05 Lewis 12.10am A Touch Of Frost

1.30pm Melissa And Joey (x2) 2.30 Baby Daddy (x2) 3.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 4.30 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.30 Troy 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (x5) 9.00 FILM: The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) 11.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 12.05am The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments 1.05 Troy

1.25pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 Secrets Of The Stonehenge Skeletons 9.00 Secrets Of The Terracotta Warriors Secret History 10.00 The Great Wall Of China: The Hidden Story 11.05 Sex On Wheels 12.15am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut

11.00am Town On Trial (1957) 1.00pm Beaches (1988) 3.30 Marley And Me (2008) 6.00 Independence Day (1996) 9.00 Vehicle 19 (2013) 10.40 Pusher (2012) 12.25am The Cold Light Of Day (2012) 2.15 Rize (2005) 4.00 Close

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SUNDAY 22 The Casual Vacancy BBC1, 9pm Three-part drama based on the novel by JK Rowling. Well done BBC for getting this one! The parish council election approaches and the village can barely contain itself waiting for the next post from ‘the Ghost of Barry Fairbrother’. Who is it? What will they say? Is anyone safe from humiliation? Cripes.

Dragons’ Den BBC2, 9pm Full of the wackiest ideas, some of which just might make it. Time to open your brain and let the bizarre and unusual inside and consider the prospect that they just might be worth a buck or two. This week’s hopeful schemes include a subscription box of foodie treats and a new safety device for boats.

I Survived A Zombie Apocalypse BBC3, 10pm Six months in to the zombie apocalypse, this gameshow puts to the test all of those hypothetical conversations that have been had late at night around a pub table. This episode sees three of the survivors come face to face with a hoard of the undead when they look for food.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 The Newspapers 8.30 The Newspapers 9.00 The Vote 9.30 The Vote 10.00 The Vote 10.30 The Vote 11.00 At The Amex 11.30 Latest Community Sport 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Brighton Lights 1.30 Brighton Lights 2.00 At The Amex 2.30 Latest Community Sport 3.00 International Chef Exchange 4.00 Brighton Lights (x4) 6.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates. 6.30 At The Amex 7.00 Brighton Lights 7.30 Latest News 8.00 Hindsight: The Past That Moves You The story of the LGBT community in Northern Ireland during the last 100 years. 8.45 Teens4teens: Behind The Project A group of Surrey children have recorded an amazing CD with songs to support the Teenage Cancer Trust. 9.00 FilmFest on TV Presenter Jessica Kellgren-Hayes introduces Latest TV’s very own weekly film festival, a dedicated film night for movies, shorts, and brand new work from filmmakers. 11.00 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 11.30 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 FilmFest on TV 2.30 Latest News 3.00 FilmFest on TV 5.00 Latest News 5.30 At The Amex

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 MOTD2 Extra 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.15 The Link 2.00 Escape To The Country 2.45 Eat Well For Less? 3.45 Your Home In Their Hands 4.45 Lifeline 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.50 South East Today 6.00 The Big Painting Challenge ... you missed a bit. 7.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison are in Suffolk finding out how erosion has shaped the landscape, swallowed up whole towns, and inspired award-winning authors. Matt takes to the sea with scientists using the latest technology to get a look at Britain’s Atlantis, the lost town of Dunwich, swallowed by the sea centuries ago. Ellie finds out how erosion plays its part in recreating important saltmarsh habitats. 8.00 Call The Midwife Drama about a group of midwives in 1950s London. A young diabetic girl faces heartbreak when she falls pregnant as a result of a clandestine romance. Elsewhere, the midwives become involved with a settlement of Irish Travellers and Sister Mary Cynthia delivers her first baby since becoming a nun. 9.00 The Casual Vacancy See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of the day’s matches. 11.40 The Super League Show Harry Gration introduces action from this weekend’s Super League matches. 12.25am The Apprentice USA The Apprentice USA. 1.50 Weather For The Week Ahead 1.55 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am The A To Z Of TV Gardening 6.15 Great British Garden Revival 7.15 Glorious Gardens From Above 8.00 Countryfile 9.00 The Football League Show 10.20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.50 The Great Comic Relief Bake Off 12.50pm Cycling: World Track Championships 4.30 The Wonder Of Animals 5.00 Alaska: Earth’s Frozen Kingdom

6.00 Speed Dreams: The Fastest Place On Earth Bill Nighy narrates a story about how every year thousands of petrol heads descend upon a dried up salt lake bed in Bonneville, Utah. Men from all over the world come to this truly unique setting with their bespoke vehicles - they all have just one plan, to drive them as fast as they can and hopefully join an elite group: the fastest men on earth. 7.00 The Fifteen Billion Pound Railway This series follows a team of more than 10,000 engineers and construction workers as they race to build a brand new railway under London - Crossrail - London’s new Underground. 8.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine. Jeremy Clarkson and James May encounter artillery shells, corsets and classic hot hatchbacks as they take a nostalgic look at one of the world’s most interesting and varied companies - Peugeot. Meanwhile, singer Olly Murs is the Star in the Reasonably Priced Car. 9.00 Dragons’ Den See highlights. 10.00 Meet The Ukippers ... If you wanna. 10.50 FILM: Blackthorn (2011) Starring Sam Shepard, Eduardo Noriega, Stephen Rea, Malagy Solier, Dominique McElligott. Western. 12.30am Sign Zone: Countryfile 1.25 Sign Zone: Holby City

ITV1

6.00am Bottom Knocker Street 6.10 Bottom Knocker Street 6.20 Bottom Knocker Street 6.35 Dino Dan 6.45 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Sooty 7.25 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Nerds & Monsters 7.50 Ultimate Spider-Man 8.30 Horrid Henry 8.50 Deadtime Stories 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.35pm News 12.40 Unforgettable Kenneth Williams 1.10 Mel & Sue’s Best Bits 2.15 The Chase 3.10 Tipping Point 4.15 FILM: Octopussy (1983) 6.40 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Get Your Act Together Stephen Mulhern hosts the live final of the show in which stars join forces with top variety acts to put on a special performance. The acts who have made the final are James Bolam with Michael Ball, Claire Richards with the Black Fire Girls, Ray Quinn with Debra Stephenson, Chip with the Shaolin Monks and Matt Johnson with Tap Corps. 8.15 All Star Family Fortunes Vernon Kay presents the game show in which celebrities and their families compete to win cash for their chosen charities. 9.00 Mr Selfridge Period drama based on the life of department store founder Harry Selfridge. As Harry and Nancy’s secret romance continues, he publicly announces the acquisition of the Selfridge Estate - but Loxley is out to get him. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.20 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive Bear Grylls presents the series in which eight celebrities face a 12-day survival mission through the rainforest of Costa Rica. 11.20 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership All the action from round 15. 12.15am The Store 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.20am NFL: Rush Zone 6.45 How I Met Your Mother 7.05 How I Met Your Mother 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm Jamie And Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 1.30 The Big Bang Theory 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 2.25 FILM: Love Happens (2009) 4.35 Location, Location, Location 5.35 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Four Rooms Members of the public pit their wits against Britain’s top dealers in art, antiques and collectibles as they attempt to secure the highest possible bid for their prized possessions. 8.00 The Auction House A behindthe-scenes look at Lots Road Auction House in glamorous Chelsea. Boss Roger announces his latest plan to increase profits. 9.00 Indian Summers Drama series following the decline of the British Empire and the birth of modern India. The fallout from the shooting reverberates around Simla and a curfew is put in place to deal with the supposed terrorist threat. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts a comedy version of the famous words and numbers quiz with team captains Sean Lock and Sarah Millican, and guests Jason Manford and Jonathan Ross. Bill Bailey joins Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner. 11.05 FILM: Moonrise Kingdom (2012) Starring Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, Edward Norton. Quirky comedy drama from director Wes Anderson. 12.50am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.40 The Million Pound Drop 2.30 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Face The Clock

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Wanda And The Alien 8.40 Zack And Quack 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 SpongeBob SquarePants 10.35 The Dog Rescuers 11.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 12.00pm Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 1.00 FILM: Innerspace (1987) 3.20 FILM: Stand By Me (1986) 4.55 FILM: Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989) 6.45 FILM: WarGames (1983) Starring Matthew Broderick, Dabney Coleman, John Wood, Ally Sheedy, Barry Corbin, Juanin Clay. A blockbusting hit dating from the Reagan-era Cold War. A teenage computer whizz-kid taps into the Pentagon computer and plays an apparently innocent video war game which is in reality the control sequence for World War III. Once underway, it seems the game cannot be stopped. 8.55 5 News Weekend 9.00 FILM: Top Gun (1986) Starring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, Tim Robbins. Tony Scott’s celebrated tale about a troubled air force cadet. When cocksure young pilot Maverick is offered the chance to train at an elite naval academy he finds himself going head-to-head with the nation’s best fliers - and a beautiful instructor. 11.15 FILM: Young Guns (1988) Starring Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, Jack Palance. Offbeat western set in 1870s New Mexico. 1.15am SuperCasino 3.10 10,000 BC 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Angels Of Jarm 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 Angels Of Jarm 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Roary The Racing Car Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

11.00am WWE: Raw 12.00pm Inside RAF Brize Norton 1.00 Emergency Animal Rescue (x2) 2.00 Modern Family (x6) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 About A Boy 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 The Holidaymakers 8.00 The Flash 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 12.00am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.05 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 7.35 The Voice UK 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 I Survived A Zombie Apocalypse. See highlights. 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Uncle 12.15am American Dad! 12.35 I Survived A Zombie Apocalypse

7.00pm The Great War 7.40 Britain’s Wild Places: Stoats Of Kedleston Hall 7.50 Britain’s Wild Places: Mull - Eagle Paradise 8.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Kazuo Ishiguro 9.00 Love Is All: 100 Years Of Love And Courtship - Storyville 10.15 FILM: Mystery Road (2014) 12.10am Status Quo: Live And Acoustic

1.00pm Take Me Out: The Gossip 1.45 You’ve Been Framed! 2.10 Scorpion 3.05 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 4.35 FILM: Nanny McPhee (2005) 6.30 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 9.00 Ibiza Weekender 10.00 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 10.30 FILM: White Chicks (2004) 12.50am Fool Britannia

9.35am Heartbeat (x2) 11.40 Goodnight Mister Tom 1.50pm Agatha Christie’s Marple 3.50 Rosemary And Thyme 4.55 Inspector Morse 7.00 Lewis 9.00 Sunday Night At The Palladium 10.00 Birds Of A Feather 10.30 City Lights 11.35 FILM: The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 2.15am Countrywise

12.30pm Revenge 1.30 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 2.30 The 100 3.30 FILM: Furry Vengeance (2010) 5.20 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts 5.30 Brooklyn NineNine 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x8) 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.05 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments 12.10am Taking New York

10.00am Grand Designs Australia 11.05 Tiny House Nation 12.05pm Shipping Wars (x4) 2.05 Jamie’s Comfort Food 2.35 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.15 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 River Cottage Australia 9.00 Car S.O.S 10.00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 11.05 40 Year Old Virgins 12.10am Car S.O.S 1.10 Shameless

1.00pm The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (2010) 3.20 The Seventh Voyage Of Sinbad (1958) 5.10 A Monster In Paris (2011) 6.55 The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) 9.00 The A-Team (2010) 11.20 Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 1.40am Aparajito (1956) 4.00 Close

000_LS716_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 12/02/2015 14:24 Page 1

MONDAY 23 International Chef Exchange LatestTV, 9.30pm As much as we adore having restaurants here that source their recipes from all over the world, is it really the same as actually going to India, Italy, France or any other place in the world? Andrew Kay hosts a mission to find out when top chefs swap for a week with chefs from all over the world. Are all kitchens alike?

Catastrophe Channel 4, 10pm The dark comedy continues, as a heavily pregnant Sharon picks up Rob from the airport and announces that a friend from Ireland is going to be her maid of honour. Fair as. He, in turn, decides to ask Sharon’s brother Fergal to be his best man. Only thing is that Fergal’s wife has just left him, taking the kids.

Asylum BBC4, 9pm Satirical comedy in which a whistleblower and an internet pirate are trapped together under the threat of extradition in the London Embassy of a fictional Latin American country. Dan decides to raise his profile, but in doing so he inadvertently accuses the El Ricans of torturing him. They’re not very happy.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote 6.30 The Vote 7.00 The Vote 7.30 The Vote 8.00 Bookenders 8.30 Bookenders 9.00 The Newspapers 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 12.00pm Brighton Lights 12.30 Brighton Lights 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Cook It! 2.00 Cook It! 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Millionaires’ Row (x4) 5.00 The Brighton Lights Sessions 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News The latest local news where you are, plus national updates. 6.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing Latest TV’s Mike Mendoza presents his weekly entertainment show – focusing on all things Adur and Worthing. 7.00 Best of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 7.30 Latest News The latest local news where you are, plus national updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Cook It! Andrew Kay presents the weekly how-to cookery programme, sourcing local, good value seasonal produce. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 International Chef Exchange Top chefs swap for a week with chefs from all over the world. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Under The Radar 11.30 Bowlegs 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Mike Mendoza’s Adur & Worthing 1.00 Best Of Brighton Lights 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Cook It! 3.00 Latest News 3.30 International Chef Exchange 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 WPC 56 3.00 The Link 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out A report on the Sussex gypsies who want to live on their own land. Natalie Graham explores Kent’s place in the history of the Magna Carta. And the people using food banks in Medway. 8.00 EastEnders Following on from last week’s shocking revelations, can things ever be the same again for the residents? DI Keeble arrives in Albert Square, but why is she back? 8.30 Panorama Panorama. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series. UCOS reopens the case of zoo keeper Zac Halsey, who was found mauled to death in the tiger enclosure at Harefield Zoo in 2006. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.45 Waterloo Road School-based drama series. Dale’s erratic behaviour reaches new heights and it’s up to Lenny and Maggie to pick up the pieces. Abdul meets his mum, but it’s not as he expected. The school gets a heads-up about a surprise inspection, but will the preparation be enough to save it? 11.45 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. 12.30am FILM: Heist (2001) 2.15 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Countryside 999 7.50 Real Lives Reunited 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 10.05 Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 1.05 Cagney And Lacey 1.50 The World At War 2.45 Africa 3.45 Open All Hours 4.15 To The Manor Born 4.45 Hi-De-Hi! 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Two Tribes Quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 7.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine with Jeremy Clarkson, including road tests, news and features. 8.00 University Challenge In another quarter-final match, two teams of students aim to reach the next stage of the quiz. Jeremy Paxman asks the questions. 8.30 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell. 9.00 A Cook Abroad: Monica Galetti’s France Monica embarks on a road trip through one of the most beautiful yet least known regions in France, where, for the first time in her cooking career, she spends time with producers. 10.00 House Of Fools Anarchic, surreal sitcom starring Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer. After stealing some unused botox equipment from a very famous residence, Vic decides to test it out on Julie and Bosh with striking results. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Alex Polizzi - The Fixer Alex Polizzi, champion of small businesses, finds fixes for the critical issues that kill so many companies. 12.20am Sign Zone: Inside The Commons 4.00 The Genius Of Invention - Learning Zone 4.30 The Genius Of Invention 5.00 The Bloodhound Adventure

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron’s decision shocks Robert. Nicola gets trapped. 7.30 Coronation Street Jason awaits Eva’s answer. Tony is out in the cold. 8.00 More Tales From Northumberland With Robson Green Robson heads to the Northumberland National Park where he tries his hand at one of Britain’s oldest and toughest sports, Cumberland and Westmorland Wrestling. 8.30 Coronation Street Is it over for Jason and Eva? Tracy turns the tables on Tony. 9.00 Broadchurch Mystery drama series set in a Dorset seaside town. Decisions are made, truths are revealed and lives in Broadchurch are changed forever. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights England and Scotland enjoy a healthy sporting rivalry and cricket is no exception. 11.40 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan Ross welcomes the absolutely fabulous Jennifer Saunders, Take Me Out host Paddy McGuinness, and the hilarious film and TV star Nick Frost. 12.40am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.35 Undercover Boss Canada 11.30 Shipping Wars UK 12.15pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.20 Couples Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Joe makes a desperate decision to get his son back. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Politicians For Hire: Channel 4 Dispatches Investigative journalism series. Ahead of this year’s general election, Dispatches investigates the behaviour of politicians in Westminster. 8.30 Food Unwrapped Jimmy puts so-called healthy snacks under the spotlight as he examines the impact they can have on children’s teeth. 9.00 NHS: Two Billion Pounds A Week And Counting Interactive documentary series which follows people seeking treatments across the NHS, challenging viewers to put themselves in the position of doctors, managers and other NHS professionals as they try to determine where to allocate scarce resources. 10.00 Catastrophe See highlights. 10.35 Bodyshockers: Nips, Tucks And Tattoos Documentary series about body modification. 11.40 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital. 12.35am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.25 FILM: After Lucia (2012) 3.10 Kirstie’s Vintage Home 4.05 Location, Location, Location 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.40 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Secrets Of St Paul’s Cathedral 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: The Perfect Assistant (2008) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nieve is determined to re-sign Phoebe and offers her a new and much more flexible contract than before. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Criminals: Caught On Camera Documentary series. 7.30 Car Crash TV Clip show featuring outrageous driving and mishaps captured by dashboard cameras around the world. 8.00 Police Interceptors Crime documentary series following Lincolnshire’s high-speed law enforcement teams. 9.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series about people who live on welfare. 10.00 10,000 BC Reality series. Halfway through the experiment, new leader Mel is determined to conserve rations and supplement them with foraged roots, berries and fish, however Paul is determined to go hunting. 11.00 FILM: The Jackal (1997) Starring Bruce Willis, Richard Gere, Sidney Poitier, Diane Venora. Violent action thriller about the FBI’s attempts to catch a deadly master of disguise who has been hired by a Russian mafia boss to kill a top figure in the US government. 1.20am SuperCasino 3.10 Killer Psychopaths 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

9.00am NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 3.00 The Simpsons (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Holidaymakers 9.00 Arrow 10.00 Modern Family (x2) 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? 7.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 8.30 Waterloo Road 9.30 Uncle 10.00 Cuckoo 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 South Side Story 1.00 I Survived A Zombie Apocalypse 2.00 Revolution Presents: Democracy Dealers 2.30 Uncle

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys 8.00 Miracle In The Marshes Of Iraq 9.00 Asylum. See highlights 9.30 Bob Servant 10.00 Norman Wisdom: His Story 11.00 Saints And Sinners: Britain’s Millennium Of Monasteries 12.00am Miracle In The Marshes Of Iraq

12.10pm Emmerdale 12.40 Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Through The Keyhole 10.00 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 11.55 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Fake Reaction

12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 1.00 Heartbeat 2.05 Where The Heart Is 3.10 The Royal 4.15 Fresh Fields 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Long Lost Family 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.05am Wycliffe

3.30pm Melissa & Joey 4.00 New Girl 4.30 Suburgatory 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 Revenge 9.00 Taking New York 10.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 11.30 New Girl (x2) 12.30am Rude Tube

11.50am FILM: Seventh Cavalry (1956) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Nazi Megastructures 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 10.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Christening 11.05 My Phone Sex Secrets 12.10am Embarrassing Bodies

11.00am The Devil At 4 O’Clock (1961) 1.35pm The Long Gray Line (1955) 4.20 Gunman’s Walk (1958) 6.20 Stardust (2007) 9.00 Shallow Hal (2001) 11.15 Dazed And Confused (1993) 1.35am The World Of Apu (1959) 4.00 Close

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