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BRIGHTON FESTIVAL A feast of arts in store including The Beautiful Cosmos of Ivor Cutler
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CONTENTS
HEADS UP HEADS DOWN The Flying Ship
Peter is a poor boy with a big imagination who dreams of adventure. The Tsar of Russia wants a Flying Ship in exchange for his daughter’s hand in marriage. What could go wrong? Rialto Theatre, 22–25 May 2015, £9/8, 4pm
Manford’s Comedy Club
Manford’s Comedy Club was set up to showcase some of Jason’s favourite comedians that have yet to have their big break on TV. MC Maff Brown, Angela Barnes and Jonny Awsum are promising to make you laugh this month, with one other act still to be added to the line-up. Connaught Studio, Worthing, Friday 15 May 2015, £11, 01903 206 206, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
Kid Creole & The Coconuts
Time to dance! Kid Creole & The Coconuts are in town with all the classic tracks and a few more beside. Revisit your fabulous past. Concorde2, 8 August 2015, £22.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk
Michael McIntyre: Happy & Glorious In case you’d forgotten, Michael McIntrye returns with his hotly anticipated brand new stand-up show Happy & Glorious. Brighton Centre, 9 May 2015, 8pm, £50/35, 0844 8471515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk
Frisky & Mannish: Just Too Much Frisky and Mannish peddling their peculiar brand of popmusicyseriocomicmashparodicvaudevilliansketchcabaretbapsbottyinfotainment. Marvellous! Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 10 October 2015, 9.30pm, £16.50, 01273 709709, brightondome.org
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with Victoria Nangle
12 – 18 MAY
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Celeb City The glitz and the glitterati around town
he other night I’d come back home after a packed day of seeing shows (gotta love the Brighton Fringe!) and I was hungry. You know, hungry for food that’s not dinner but is usually found bought in multipacks in a most unhealthy manner. I was also feeling more than a bit skint and reluctant to leave the house, yet again. So I rolled up my sleeves, checked on my self-raising flour supplies, and started baking. I have been asked where the energy comes from to bake after a full day. To be honest, it takes about as much energy to make a banana bread as it takes to run a bath. Both relax me, and make me more popular with others after I’ve finished. There’s something very satisfying about having a ‘thing’, a ‘substance’, at the end of a little bit of effort. Most of us work in offices or shops where we don’t actually have anything to show at the end of hours of energy-zapping employment. So to spend ten minutes with a mixing bowl and find a something at the end of it, a something that I can eat, a something that nourishes – but is also utterly unnecessary – is a real joy. Currently I have a bowl of gingerbread mix in my fridge, meaning that creating something yummy and unnecessary takes even less time than usual. It didn’t take long to whip up, and my oven doesn’t let me bake more than a couple of trays of goodies at a time. Following the recipe meant that I had enough for at least six tray-fulls, so I left the rest of the mix for another day. Another day of ninja-breadmen. Of ginger biscuits. Of simple treats at a fraction of a multipack’s cost.
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Kay Town Andrew minds his language
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Brighton Festival Some of the best shows in town
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20 Reviews & Chart What’s happening, and what we think of it!
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Saturday, May 16th, 2015 The Great Escape: Access to Music, 12.00am; Monkey Garbage in association with BIMM, 5.30pm; Rocklands presents The Zine Sessions, 11.00pm, Free Monday, May 18th, 2015 Kate in the Kettle + JJ Draper Released on Monday 4th May, ‘Paper Rose’ is the latest single from Kate In The Kettle. Doors 7.30 Show 8.00 Price £5adv/£7 door
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11 Alexis Dove Engagement rings of a lifetime 12 Brighton Writes Dr Caroline Oprandi talks science; Brighton & Hove Buses share their top destinations 13 Cook It! Eating out in Malta 15 Hotlist Restaurants, cafes and takeaway listings 15 Brighton Writes Jessica Kellgren-Hayes salutes the New Wave film movement 16 Mike Ward and Henry Stockley New columnists with Mike Ward talking twitter and Henry Stockley interviewing Simon Maginn 17 Entertainment News What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music in your city
21 TV Listings TV listings for the next seven days
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Front-End Developer – Semantico (Brighton & Hove) Digital Strategist – Brilliant Noise (Brighton & Hove) Operations Manager – Brightlocal (Lewes) C# .Net Software Developer – Madgex (Brighton & Hove) Web Designer & HTML Coders – Samson Web Design Ltd (Littlehampton) Project Manager – Lexel (Brighton & Hove) Content Executive/Webmaster – Nespresso (Crawley) Digital QA Analyst – Epicentre (Brighton & Hove) Marketing Assistant – Play7 (Brighton & Hove)
Freelance Designer – needed to build a series of responsive email templates Digital Marketer – needed to run a social media & pay per click advertising campaign Content Writers – needed to create well-crafted copy on a range of subjects
Brighton Salesforce Usergroup – Tuesday 12 May, 6.00pm at Brandwatch Office Managers Networking Club – Thursday 14 May, 3.30pm at Lighthouse Wired Sussex Workshop: Being a Successful Freelancer – Thursday 28 May, 9.00am at The FuseBox
005_LS728_celebcity_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 11:02 Page 1
CELEB CITY with Jo Brooks
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Adele goes Sister George, Trevor Sorbie raise over £5k for Macmillan & the city gets arty
ART & POLITICS
ove resident Adele celebrated her 26th birthday last week by throwing a fantastic fancy dress party. The multi-Grammy winner songstress asked her nearest and dearest to come dressed to the bash as their favourite idols, and setting the bar very high she came as her very own idol - singer George Michael. Using a great wig and incredible make-up, Adele stunned fans by showing her transformation on her twitter feed - see pic below! It wasn’t long however before George replied to her tweet by saying Happy Birthday @OfficialAdele !!! I'm so flattered, love The Singing Greek! xxx
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egular readers of this column will remember we mentioned that Trevor Sorbie and his Brighton salon team hosted a fashion show a few weeks ago in aid the new Macmillan Horizon Cancer Support Centre Appeal. We are delighted to announce that the event - which was supported by the show-stopping Dolly Rocket, and fashion labels including French Connection, Born and Bred, Jigsaw, Jaeger, and Coast, beauty brand Shu Uemura, stylist Jane Busby and the Thistle Brighton – has beaten it’s target and raised an amazing £5,910. A HUGE well done to everyone involved plus a special mention to the wonderful and inspirational Sara Snood (@fizzysnood on Twitter) who has raised and continues to raise both awareness and funds for Macmillan while being an awesome woman. Give her a follow.
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treet Art lovers take note!! Brighton art landmark artrepublic have announced that they will be holding the very first Art Yard Sale as part of this year’s Brighton Fringe Festival. The Art Yard Sale is an amazing opportunity for art enthusiasts to meet and buy work from some of the hottest urban artists working today. Involved in what will truly be Brighton’s art event of the year will be Urban Art giants Pure Evil, RYCA and Copyright, ‘renegade potter’ Carrie Reichardt (fresh from her exhibit at the V&A), there will be live screenprinting from the legendary Eelus and, making her debut in the city will be world famous food historian and doyenne of edible art, AVM Curiosities. Artists also setting up shop on Jubilee Square for one day only include Rob Wass, VeeBee, Sara Pope, Carne Griffiths, Static, AROE, Bonnie & Clyde, BUSK, Gemma Compton, Pixel and Maria Rivans. All works on sale are being especially created for the Art Yard Sale so you can get hold of customised and bespoke works that simply are unavailable anywhere else. Get yourself to Jubilee Square, Brighton between 11am-5pm on Sunday 31 May and get yourself a piece of art history. artrepublic have been Visual Arts Sponsor of the Brighton Fringe Festival since 2010 - see more at www.artrepublic.com
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nyone who saw her Cornershop exhibition when it hit Brighton will have fallen in love with the artistic creations of Lucy Sparrow. This week the felt genius unveils The Warmongery, a felt armoury stocked to the brim with guns, knives, bullets and handcuffs. The installation is open to the public at London’s Boxpark Mall from 12-17 May and those of you unable to visit the cuddly arsenal can see more and purchase your weapon of choice at www.sewyoursoul.co.uk
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SPOTTED: GREEN PARTY LOCAL GOVERNMENT CANDIDATE (AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS) GEOFFREY BOWDEN GOES FIREWALKING FOR CHARITY
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? send your sightings and a pic if you get one to jo@jb-pr.com
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
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007_LS728_kay_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 17:22 Page 2
ANDREW KAY A THOUSAND CURSES When did our language become so bad? SPONSORED BY
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swear far too much. Maybe it’s an anger management issue but my everyday is peppered with expletives from the mild to the frankly disgraceful. It’s crept up on me like damp and has invaded my speech so much that I am now very conscious of it. I remember being a child and being shocked when I heard people swear. As a kid I never swore, to do so and to be found out would have instigated a slap around the legs from Mum. She seldom swore and when she did it was mild, the occassional ‘bloody’ and perhaps ‘bugger’, but nothing worse and yes, there was far worse. Oh I knew the words, and the worse words, but there was such a stigma attached to them that they were reserved for extreme circumstances. Even when I had plucked up the courage to use a few I would never have done so in earshot of either Mum or Dad. I’m not sure we even realised what most of them meant either. The ‘F’ word was certainly not associated with copulation, for that the current parlance was ‘shag’, a term that has almost disappeared. And bugger… well enough said. I cannot remember when I first swore in front of my parents but I was certainly over twenty, and even then the ‘F’ word was never uttered. To this day I have only ever heard Mum use it once and that was in very extreme circumstances, a burnt cake or something, I can’t remember. I remember clearly the scandal that came from the critic Kenneth Tynan swearing on TV and then the Sex Pistols with Bill Grundy and an outburst of four letter words. I was at the Sex Pistols’ first gig and I promise you that Bill and the TV audience got off lightly, at least they didn’t get spat on or have their eardrums perforated by the excitingly hellish din that they created on stage. Perhaps that was the start of the devaluation of the curse. Where once swear words were powerful and bitter currency, now they are merely used as punctuation in our common speech patterns. It’s a sad thing in a way, a blanding of our language, a lost opportunity to be forcefully offensive whenever the need might arise. The Americans have a better way of cursing, which I suspect comes from the Italian community. A single swear word is never enough, they have to be incorporated in a far
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I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries more complex curse. These often engage in slights against your family or lineage – ‘Son of a…’ ‘Your mother is a…’ – you know the kind of thing I refer to so I need not spell it out. In this way American and Latino curses have so much more power and because they are often full sentences they cannot be used to punctuate ordinary language. The Monty Python team summed up this style of cursing in their brilliant movie, The Holy Grail where King Arthur is verbally abused by French soldiers. “I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”. It strikes the King and his knights to their very hearts – and had us reeling with laughter in our seats, especially when the French soldiers go on and on with their pithy and very silly abuse. Of course the Pythons were merely demonstrating that, when used in this way, curses are a pretty worthless commodity, toothless and – yes silly. Silliness abounds in print. DH Lawrence’s notorious novel Lady Chatterley’s Lover was banned for years because he had dared to put on paper what so many people said in real life. Was it the use of the ‘F’ and ‘C’ words that so offended or was it the idea that a ‘member’ of the lower classes could dare to have carnal knowledge of a posh bird? I suspect that the latter played a far more important role in the whole issue. Words are funny things. Especially words that are used as terms of abuse. I remember well an archbishop declaring that he wanted to reclaim the word ‘gay’. The pithy response was that he was welcome to it if he would also take back ‘queer’, ‘bender’, ‘pouff’ and sundry other terms that have been applied to being homosexual. Of course this was followed by the gay community, in part, reclaiming the term ‘queer’. After that came queer politics, taking ownership of what had once been a term of abuse had sanitised it, made it acceptable
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and powerful. More recently we have seen the word ‘gay’ turned into a term for something that is bad – “You’re so gay” – well yes I know I am, what of it? And thank you for noticing! Perhaps I am beyond being verbally abused. Six decades in and curses simply bounce off me. But I do worry that my language is frosted with profanities. Oh I know that I never swear on these pages, I am careful in that respect because I value this space and the opportunities that it affords me. Add to this my total dislike for the rampant silliness that is the substitution of letters with asterisks. Really? I mean REALLY? What on Earth are all those asterisks about, surely people are not so stupid as to think that by omitting the middle two letters from a four letter expletive they are making it okay? Of course they are not, they are in fact stressing its power, making it more important, more potent. If you don’t want to print the word then cut the word and find a better one. If you cannot find a better one then print the thing and be damned. I hate too when TV broadcasters bleep. If you have to bleep because your programme is on before the watershed, then think again about the timing and your broadcast policy. I rather like the warnings that come up on the online TV channels that warn you of the kind of thing that you are about to encounter. Adult language and themes they say. Adult? Well maybe in some people’s worlds but not in mine. Especially so when surrounded by school kids at a bus stop. My word how our youth can curse, the air at an average Brighton and Hove bus stop as the schools kick out is bluer than Thatcher’s wardrobe. I shrink at what I hear – and I can swear like the proverbial trooper. So in advance I would like to apologise for any bad language, cussing, effing or blinding that I might engage in without thought and I leave you with this – “****** * ********* *** ****!”.
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008_009_LS728_festival_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 15:22 Page 1
BRIGHTON FESTIVAL 2015
TEN DAYS IN & A FEAST OF ARTS STILL IN STORE Brighton Festival opened to huge acclaim & there’s much more still to come
On Wednesday 13 May, both shows will run back to back and at the same time for nearly five hours. Why did you choose to present the works like this? All the performers are at the top of their game and they’ve got incredible stamina. For them, it’s a real challenge to do what is the equivalent of two two-and-a-half shows in one night. It’s a very physical work and fatigue starts to play a part… but fatigue is part of this world; in Hades there is no respite or rest. Underworld is a restless churning that the performers are caught up in and they can’t really leave… and that’s the parallel of Look At Me Now, Mummy: the performer can’t get out of her – albeit very different – world either.
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e’re 10 days into Brighton Festival 2015 and there’s already been laughter, tears, five star reviews, tightrope walkers and several giant birds…! With more quality arts and entertainment heading our way, we asked three artists heading to Brighton Festival this year about their shows and why you need to get hold of tickets!
CHOREOGRAPHER/DIRECTOR CHARLOTTE VINCENT ON UNDERWORLD AND LOOK AT ME NOW, MUMMY:
You’re also inviting audiences to come and go between the shows as they please? They can move between shows and be guided by work. It’s more of a visual, physical installation than a performance. It’s a very un-British way of watching dance theatre, and I’d invite people not to be worried about disturbing others by coming in and out. You don’t worry so much about that in a gallery situation – you look at a painting for as long as you like and then move on – so we’re trying to encourage people to view the work in a slightly different way.
What are the two pieces about? You can read Look At Me Now, Mummy in several ways; it’s not as literal as it sounds and the context is that of domestic madness, really. It’s a beautiful solo performance with very few words and not a lot of dance, although it’s all movement based! It’s a woman lost in her own imagination, going through a series of rituals to keep herself sane… but actually in doing those rituals, she’s going a bit madder by the minute. Underworld is a vastly different piece of work. It’s a huge ensemble piece for eight performers. It’s really strong, powerful, moving, visually striking and is very loosely based on the Orpheus myth. People get drawn into the world and stay as they want to see what happens next.
Tues 12 & Wednesday 13 May, Brighton Dome Corn Exchange and Brighton Dome Corn Exchange Foyer, 5pm & 8.30pm (Tues, Underworld), 4pm & 7.30pm (Tues, Look At Me Now, Mummy), 6pm (Weds, both shows, back to back)
Look At Me Now, Mummy
Underworld
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008_009_LS728_festival_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 15:22 Page 2
BRIGHTON FESTIVAL 2015
ACTOR SANDY GRIERSON ON THE BEAUTIFUL COSMOS OF IVOR CUTLER:
FILMMAKER SAM GREEN ON THE MEASURE OF ALL THINGS:
What’s the show all about? The play is basically a musical created by mixing Ivor‘s life with his music, poems and songs. Whether people have heard of Ivor Cutler or not, he’s influenced so many different people.
You’ve described The Measure Of All Things as a ‘pretty weird’ movie – what’s it all about? It’s a meditation on the Guinness Book of World Records. To me the book is very striking because in it are many records that say so much about Fate and how we live in a world we don’t understand. The basic building blocks of our lives are dealt with and evoked in the book, so my show is a meditation on that; a series of portraits of people, places and things, from the oldest person to the tallest person to the oldest living thing. In that sense, it evokes a kind of poem about fate, time and mystery of being alive.
Who was Ivor Cutler? He’s most famous through John Peel who played him on a lot of his sessions… I think he was second only to The Fall in terms of number of sessions. When you start listening to his music or his singing, you hear all these influences that run through his work, from calypso to country and western. He had a Jewish Scottish background so you also get a bit of Klezmer coming through. It’s a really rich musical background that he had, and it’s all concentrated into just this curious old man with a harmonium.
How did you choose the subjects of the films? That’s the fun part – I basically went through the book and pursued the things that resonated with me emotionally. Y’know, like the tallest man and the dolphin [Bao Xishan used his long arms to dislodge fatal plastic accidentally ingested by a dolphin at an aquarium] – I love that one. I had someone shoot him in Mongolia and got the footage of him with the dolphin, so it’s just a great story that hits all the right notes. It’s odd, tragic, and beautiful in a way. It was very fun to look into these.
How does Ivor’s work feature in the show? It’s part gig, part play. We’ve got a fantastic 5-piece band led by Jim Fortune, who’s a founding member of the close harmony group The Magnets. He’s done a fantastic job swelling out some of Cutler’s sounds; Ivor famously hated amplified music but we’ve played with that, so some of the music is simply him with his harmonium, and others swell out into big set pieces, like The Beautiful Cosmos which is the title of the show!
From a personal point of view, who was the most interesting person you spoke to? I think the woman with the longest name. She has this enormous name which just goes on and on. At first I thought it was just gibberish… like someone fell asleep on the keyboard… but if you look closely at it you start to see words. Her mother made this crazy long name, but within it there’s city names like ‘Paris’, qualities like ‘love’, there’s other people’s names from her family; it’s an odd and wonderful quilt of all these different pieces of ideas and aspirations… and it works!
Wed 13 – Sun 17 May, Theatre Royal Brighton, 2.30pm (Sat & Sun) and 7.30pm (Wed – Sat) brightonfestival.org
Have you ever broken a record? The great irony of all this is that I did end up in the Guinness Book of World Records this year… and I didn’t even have to hula-hoop for 78 hours! They got in touch with me because they found a photo online of me at the quietest place on earth – an anechoic chamber – and it’s a photo of me holding a microphone. They asked me if they could use it to illustrate the quietest place on earth. I said of course – I always wanted to be in the book, but could never figure out how. I’m on page 74, right next to the ‘Most Valuable Tongue’. Sat 23 & Sun 24 May, The Old Market, 4.30pm (Sun) & 7.30pm (Sat & Sun)
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ALL THAT GLISTERS Local jewellery designer Alexis Dove engages in something special and precious... ooking for an engagement ring with a difference? Award-winning fine jeweller Alexis Dove offers a bespoke design service. Mixing her signature hand-crafted style with unusual and rare gemstones to create an exquisite collection of one-of-a-kind engagement and wedding rings.
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Alexis Dove jewellery is renowned for combining traditional techniques with modern and organic designs to highlight the beauty of rare stones. Designer and maker Alexis welcomes couples to her showroom in Lewes, Sussex for one-to-one consultations that enables customers to transform their ideas into reality. The truly bespoke consultation service will see you create a special piece of jewellery that will last a lifetime. Alexis has collected unique precious stones for over 15 years including a selection of rare coloured sapphires, tourmalines, spinels and cinnamon diamonds. The most intriguing stones in Alexis’ vast collection are rose-cut diamonds – these are available in colours ranging from pale greys to green and chocolate brown. These unusual stones have been sourced from all over the world and are a testimony to the passion Alexis has to source only the most radiant stones for her customers. Your beautiful stone can be set into the more unusual precious metals such as palladium and 22ct
bridesmaid’s gifts. Even the gentlemen of the day can be catered for with a selection of handsome tie pins, cufflinks and men’s accessories. Only a short train journey from London, Lewes is a picturesque county town offering plenty of cosy B&Bs, beautiful landscapes and a traditional high-street full of
gold for a truly bespoke commission. Alexis Dove says, “I can offer a far more unusual choice of both precious metals as well as stones than a more conventional jewellers.’ Created with techniques such as hand hammering and granulation, Alexis’ ring designs hark back to a more traditional style of jewellery
but with a modern twist. This is contemporary jewellery with a vintage style that will remain ontrend for a lifetime. Alexis Dove says: “I spend an enormous amount of time looking for unusual gemstones and identifying what I feel are the newest trends in stones for engagement rings,” says Alexis. “I have been working for a long time with rose cut diamonds and opaque diamonds, which allow customers to have a diamond at affordable prices, but also have a completely unique stone. I also work with Victorian old cut diamonds, unusual rubies and fancy sapphires. We stock a range of stones that are unique so that
my customers can choose one for themselves and then we design the ring around it. Here at Alexis Dove, we love creating unique and unusual wedding and engagement rings, because each of our customers is as unique as the rings we make for them.” Never one to forget the little details, Alexis Dove’s ready-towear collections are sure to tempt the other important ladies of the big day- the bridesmaids, flower girls and Mother of the Bride. Delicate hand beaten pieces from the Wild Rose and Blossom Collections make the perfect bridesmaid accessory while the cute Curio Bunny and Beachcomber pebbles are perfect for flower girls. Even the Mother of the Bride will be delighted with a range of handmade delicate and statement jewellery that can be worn for a lifetime. A specialist engraving service enables the jewellery to be personalised with the wearer’s initials for a memorable keepsake of the big day. Also, Alexis Dove’s Lewes store stocks a large selection of vintage inspired and on-trend Olivia Burton watches, perfect for any
charm to make your visit memorable. Alexis Dove is so much more than a beautiful jewellery shop styled with antique and vintage furniture: it also contains a small workshop where visitors can see their jewellery being created on a traditional jeweller’s bench.
Alexis Dove Jewellery The Needlemakers, Lewes, East Sussex, BN7 2NZ 01273 945786 www.alexisdove.com
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012_LS728_science_buses_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 12:11 Page 1
brighton & hove buses
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UNLOCKING POTENTIAL
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Dr Caroline Oprandi Keeping you up to date with science and technology at PACA
Discover the most scenic of places hassle free with Brighton & Hove Buses This week: Bluebell Railway
e are finalists for the TeenTech awards!!! Judges from last year included Stephen Fry and James May, prizes are awarded by Royalty and the CEO for these awards is Maggie Philbin. The key to the success of this project has been the fantastic volunteers from University of Sussex’s Informatics Department. After being to several STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) conferences recently it is evident that someone within secondary or primary schools has to co-ordinate these connections between university, industry and the school. It cannot just be an extra role to add onto an already over-burdened teacher’s shoulders. Tony Moloney from the National Grid said that he had free resources and workshops to give away to schools but in most cases he cannot get past the school receptionist because there is no-one to connect with! Also at the conference I heard a talk by Mark Dawe, Chief Executive of OCR exam board. The message from OCR was clear, they recognise the work STEM teachers are achieving in their project- based curriculum approach, and OCR are working hard to try and match the content of these projects to their qualifications. However, one message that stood out was Mark’s call for STEM teachers to just “be brave”. I think OCR are trying their best to drag education away from the Victorian model. It might have served us in the past to recall facts and figures at the drop of a hat but we now have resources at our finger tips to do just that. Our children have far bigger things to grasp and conceptualize, such as 3D interactive computer design packages, as seen in Iron Man, the concept was developed by Siemens (also at the conference). I would like to say a massive “thank you” to Chris O’Hare from Hare Digital for donating five new Raspberry Pi computers to the school’s coding club which will undoubtedly add to securing the win at the finals! Nice one Chris! It really is heartening when these small businesses can see what we are trying to achieve here at PACA STEM centre and are donating equipment from gardening tools to computers, as well as expensive telescopes. I just hope that policy makers start to realise that we don’t have to wait to see what other countries are doing in order to change our current Victorian model of education … UK are experts in the field of education and it’s time to be brave and lead the way!
he Bluebell Railway, a preserved steam train line is on Metrobus route 270. Enjoy the atmosphere of this well established line, with its superbly preserved steam engines and beautiful coaching stock. The ‘Bluebell’ is home to the largest collection of Southern Railway locomotives in the UK! The 22-mile round trip provides an authentic steam-era experience thanks to the hard work done by the volunteers who run the railway. Steam trains on the Bluebell Railway run through the heart of the Sussex Weald between East Grinstead and Sheffield Park. Sheffield Park Garden, a National Trust property is a stone’s throw from the Sheffield Park Station. The beautiful landscape garden with design elements from Capability Brown are ideal to stroll around or have a picnic. Themed events are held throughout the year at the Bluebell Railwayyou can find out all about the railway, its history and events from the website at www.bluebell-railway.com
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Our children have far bigger things to grasp and conceptualize, such as 3D interactive computer design packages, as seen in Iron Man
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Getting there
The Bluebell Railway is on Metrobus Route 270, the service runs hourly Monday to Saturday from Churchill Square and Old Steine – full times are available at metrobus.co.uk/270. The journey takes 1 hour and 45 minutes to East Grinstead Station where you can pick up the Bluebell Railway. On Saturday’s the 270 calls at Horsted Keynes Station, another of the calling points on the Bluebell Railway, this takes 1 hour and 15 minutes from Brighton. The bus passes through the beautiful South Downs Park and skirts Ashdown Forest as well. Metrobus have day tickets from individual to family that are valid on the entire route that you can purchase from the driver – please see metrobus.co.uk for more information. Images: The Image Team
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ANDREW KAY
and I suggest that two a day will easily suffice should you visit – which again I urge you to do. The next day we had breakfast and an art class followed by lunch in a waterside restaurant. Having learned that Maltese food is big, I chose to have just a starter but our waiter misunderstood and had the dish converted to a main course sized plate of calamari. They were
MALTESE TEAS
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y recent painting and photography holiday was kindly supported by the Maltese Tourist Board and they certainly gave us a brilliant view of what the island has to offer. I will be honest and say that my expectations of Maltese cuisine were not high, based solely on some rather drab soup made for me many years ago by a kind Maltese friend. I was wrong, right now Maltese cuisine is pretty impressive. Our first meal was in the pretty village of Mellieha where we dined at Commando. I started with duck leg croquettes and I was blown away from the first mouthful. They were delicious and the sauce they came with was delicious too. The meat was so succulent and not at all greasy, the crumb coating crisp – and they were big. It was a feature that we encountered again and again. Maltese food is generous! I moved on to a veal chop, perfectly cooked with a wonderful herb crust and sweet potato mash. More than impressive and again huge. My dessert was okay, a nice panacotta with berries, but served in a glass so there was no evidence of the required wibble. Full marks other than that though. The next day we lunched at Guzé Bistro, at the heart of the capital Valletta. This chic cellar venue gave us platters of local produce to start, great squid, amazing cheeses and succulent mussels. That in itself was lunch but we had main courses too. I love rabbit and our host Faye insisted that at some point I had some, so now was my chance. It was delicious, boned and rolled around a stuffing of figs and local sausage then wrapped in ham. It was not the traditional Maltese dish which I think Faye was sorry about, but it
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A rich diet of unexpectedly fantastic food and drink
Right now Maltese cuisine is pretty impressive was damned good – and huge, I mean really huge. I was too full for pud but they insisted that I tried the cannoli which were okay, not brilliant but this was Malta and not Sicily! That night none of us needed supper. The following day we headed inland to paint and after a morning on a breezy hillside we drove to Rogantinos. From the outside it looked run down if not abandoned but once through the sweet smelling garden past beds of wild freesia we found a beautiful dark interior and a sunny terrace overlooking fields of produce. Rogantino’s again brought out the sharing dishes of mussels and squid and cheese and bread spread with tomato jam, probably not the real name but the best I can do to describe this intense red confection. I loved it and brought jars home with me. The speciality
was suckling pig, now how often do I get to eat that? I ordered it and loved it, soft, sweet, moist – it was perfectly cooked and came in a portion that a British restaurant would have charged ten times for claiming it was enough for four. I managed the lot and even ordered a dessert of cassata, again not great and again not Sicily. It was nice enough, maybe if called something else I would have liked it more – but that’s me. I was also sad that I did not have the octopus which our kind guide allowed me to try, wow, so tender and tasty, the octopus, not the guide, but too difficult a choice to make. After a long afternoon of sight seeing we all went to bed without dinner, Maltese meals are very filling
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good but there was too much and I simply could not finish them. Then it was off to Gozo, a spot of celeb spotting on the ferry and a much need break to drink Kinnie, the local soft drink that is addictively delicious – if you like bitter sweet things. Served cold though it is remarkably refreshing and I miss it now I am back. Gozo is beautiful and I found the tomato jam and weird herbed goat cheese at the Ta’Mena Estate where we also met the goats and tasted some delicious liqueurs. Dinner was in the pretty fishing village of Xlendi at Zafiro Restaurant. Here I had a fine steak, deliciously tasty and perfectly cooked but I looked on at some amazing griddled squid with true envy. Maltese food bears the mark of all of the islands invaders and the influence of modern Eurpoean food culture – but bigger – and I loved it! www.commandorestaurant.com www.guze.com.mt www.rogantinos.com www.hotelsanandrea.com/zafirorestaurant
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HOT LIST Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit thelatest.co.uk BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN BARDSLEY’S Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk
INDIAN THE CHILLI PICKLE The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national recognition which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample Thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, whilst the evening menu offers inventive street food, decadent Tandoori dishes and tasty regional curries, served in a vibrant and bustling setting. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011–14 and has retained its Michelin Bib Gourmand from 2010 to 2015 The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com
THE CHILLI PICKLE CANTEEN The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384
THAI STREET THAI Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444
ITALIAN DONATELLO Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477 www.donatello.co.uk
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entertainment Jessica Kellgren-Hayes
FILM
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NEW WAVE BEGINNINGS
his year’s Brighton Festival will be celebrating French filmmaking legend Agnes Varda with a gallery installation, a short selection of her films, plus a personal appearance. Varda was the only female director of the French New Wave- a blanket term coined by critics for a group of French filmmakers in the late 1950s and 60s. Her films are lauded for their feminism due to their use of female protagonists and celebration of the female cinematic voice. Many of her films use protagonists that are marginalised or rejected members of society. Recently she was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award by the European Film Academy for her outstanding body of work. Now 86, Varda’s film career predated the New Wave and in many ways inspired it. Never a formally organised movement, the New Wave filmmakers were instead linked by a youthful iconoclasm, experimentation with the film form, a desire to shoot contemporary social issues on location and by their conscious rejection of popular literary period pieces written at the time. Varda’s self-funded debut, the hybrid fiction-documentary hybrid, 1956’s La Pointe Courte is often considered the unofficial first New Wave film. When she made it (and this is an important part of the New Wave style), she had no professional cinema training- her early work included painting, sculpting and photojournalism. The style of cinema Varda was engaged in made the point that a filmmaker should begin with a tale based in realism and then use film equipment to bring that story to others, rather than trained film professionals creating their own truth from fiction. The combination of subjective realism and authorial commentary created a narrative ambiguity as questions arise from the films that are not generally answered in the end- much like life itself! Auteur theory, the concept that a film reflects the director’s personal creative vision, clearly influenced Varda who created her own signature style by using the camera “as a pen.” Rather than separating the fundamental roles that contribute to the making of a film (director, cinematographer, screenwriter, etc…) Varda believes that all roles should work together simultaneously to create a more cohesive film and that all elements should contribute to its message. Due to Varda’s photographic background, still images often serve symbolic or narrative purposes and she claims to make most of her discoveries whilst editing, much like photographers who worked before digital were never sure exactly what they had captured before developing the film. These ‘found’ images then create a motif. Over many decades Varda has become a force in art cinema, conceiving many of her films as political and feminist statements. Check the listings for where to find Varda’s events in the Festival and make sure to visit the installation in the University of Brighton Gallery on any day between Saturday 2nd and Sunday 24th of May.
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Varda’s film career predated the New Wave and in many ways inspired it.
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WARD OFF with Mike Ward
TAKING STOCK with Henry Stockley
TWITTER QUITTER MAGINN OPUS
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o, Sue Perkins, co-host of BBC1's The Reasonably Great British Bake Off, has announced that she's leaving Twitter. Or taking indefinite leave from it, to be strictly accurate. I have precisely four reactions to this news, namely: 1 Oh 2 Right 3 Fair enough 4 Why's she telling us this? I'm not saying I don't know why she's done it. Of course I do. Sue has chosen to detwit herself because some horrible, weird, twisted people on there have been saying some horrible, weird, twisted things about her. For that I don't blame her one bit. These people had heard rumours, you see, that Sue might be taking over from ousted pugilist Jeremy Clarkson as host of BBC2's Top Gear. And rather than reacting to such rumours like most normal, non-twisted people would – ie. by thinking to themselves: "Well, I'm not sure Sue Perkins would be my own preference, but it's only some stupid TV programme so ultimately what does it matter? – they'd immediately become very, very angry indeed. And thanks to social media, of course, angry people are no longer restricted to scrawling barmy green-inked letters to their local newspaper. These days they can make direct contact with the person who's made them so cross, and then explain, often in impressively graphic detail, what they'd like to see happen to them. Isn't technology marvellous..? So, yes, as a consequence of these unsavoury developments, Sue Perkins has basically thought to herself: "Stuff this for a game of soldiers." In her position, who wouldn't do likewise? Even so, I can't help but chuckle when celebrities actually "announce" that they're quitting Twitter. Isn't there just a touch of the Lost In Showbiz to that? Not in the actual act of leaving, but in the way they're effectively going: "Listen, everybody, I'm quitting and I need to make a special point of drawing this to your attention." What I'm saying is, isn't it just a wee bit self-important to assume that this decision of yours is of such immense public significance – to believe that people need to be forewarned, lest they should lie awake, confused and concerned as to why you're no longer sharing your wit, your wisdom and indeed your every waking thought with the online community? Here's a wild and crazy alternative suggestion. Rather than feel the need to tell everyone you're about to stop tweeting, why don't you just, erm, stop? Just leave it alone, step away right this minute, have nothing more to do with it. I'm pretty sure you'd be a happier person as a result. You certainly wouldn't be an unhappier one.Or would there be a nagging fear, if you simply did that, that no one would be all that bothered – or, worse, even notice – as would undoubtedly be the case if I made a similar move myself? For some celebrity Twitter-quitters, I've a sneaking suspicion that's the worry. Fans, eh? Can't live with them, can't live without them.
Angry people are no longer restricted to scrawling barmy green-inked letters to their local newspaper
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writer’s success is often defined by their notoriety, or at the very least, by their own unique footsteps which have left a mark of distinction upon a particular genre. Local author Peter James, for example, has achieved astounding levels of notoriety. As too has former Hove-resident Anthony Burgess who went on to define a whole age of dystopian satire. Local novelist Simon Maginn, on the other hand, hasn’t achieved this same level of success. This is no bad thing at all. As those who are familiar with him will know, his literary career has already spanned eight books, under two names, and reaches the corners and ridges of just about every foreseeable, and unforeseeable, life event. “I have written novels about sheep, saints, virgins, bikers, care in the community rats and government,” he tells me on a bright-yet fresh, April morning. Indeed the majority of Simon’s novels are sinister horror books; but he also writes comedy books under the name of Simon Nolan. “My most recent book is a comedy but this ranges all the way to a book I’m writing now which is a dark one about a fascist group in Brighton in 1937.” His 2010 book ‘Whitehawk’ blended mad vulgarity with slingshot satire in an affectionate look at the residents who live in the East Brighton suburb. The novel didn't garner international popularity but it did build upon his previous efforts. In 1999 his title ‘As Good as it Gets’ generated small ripples of acclaim in The Observer, Time Out and the Sunday Times. Most of his books prove exceptional reads with well-organised wit and social commentary. His books are locally renowned for their personable and strongly edged characters. They are presented in a digestible and fast-paced style. Despite this it is his debut novel ‘Sheep’ which initiates the majority of questions about his work. “This book got the attention of a freelance film producer in Los Angeles who optioned it” - Simon is quick to illuminate on the book's tangled tale. “Suddenly the option was bought by a new production company. Sean Bean and Maria Bello were ‘attached’; the budget ballooned correspondingly and the new script made barely any reference to the existing script, or indeed the novel.” As the April sun starts to slowly dim behind the clouds in my garden, Simon hilariously and poignantly recounts: ‘Why did this happen? We simply don’t know but [as Tom Wolfe says] ‘bank the cheque, walk away.’” It has always been a point of intrigue to me why Brighton is such a prolific destination for those in the arts -whether it is musicians, writers or painters. “It is simply a very easy place to be” Maginn maintains. “For me I’ve written about it in four novels now and I think I’m starting to like it.” It was the smoky beaches of the Wirral where Maginn originally came from. The Wirral - famous for its degraded shipbuilding works and for its proximity to the River Mersey - has inspired countless authors. It is the Mersey obsession with football which is one of his defining, although not necessarily pleasurable memories of his upbringing. “The assumption on Merseyside is that any possible human thought can, and should, be expressed in footballing terms. My mum had to have her eyes done a few years back: the consultant explained her macular degeneration in terms of wear round the goalmouths!” Maginn is a humorous writer who pays homage to the daily concerns and pleasures of living in Brighton. What is clear for the future is that he is more suited than so many others to document the bizarre and interesting happenings which this city all too often displays. Simon’s most recent noel, Whitehawk, is available from Waterstones and City Books and online at www.simonmaginn.com
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The new script made barely any reference to the existing script, or indeed the novel
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017_LS728_stage_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 11:48 Page 1
entertainment
Kay STAGE Andrew
MAGNA CARTA
A family-friendly evening of music, song and readings on the themes of liberty and justice
Brighton Festival Chorus commission & premiere a new work involving 150 children that commemorates the 800th anniversary of Magna Carta o celebrate the 800th anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta, Brighton Festival Chorus (BFC) present a family-friendly evening of music, song and readings on the themes of liberty and justice at Brighton Dome Concert Hall on Thursday 11 June at 7.30pm. BFC will be joined by Brighton Festival Youth Choir (BFYC) plus 125 young singers from local schools for the world premiere of a new choral work Invictus – Cantata for Liberty, composed by BFC Music Director James Morgan and composer Juliette Pochin. Invictus – Cantata for Liberty uses text ranging from Kipling to Emily Dickinson to a traditional post American civil war spiritual. These will be interspersed with prose and poetry on the themes of justice and liberty, to be read aloud by various members of the choirs and the local community. Sung in English this is an accessible, enjoyable piece, easy to follow by adults and children alike. After the interval BFC will perform Mozart’s iconic Requiem.
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The Mousetrap
With introductions from the stage and an excerpt from Amadeus this will be a fantastic opportunity to hear one of the greatest pieces of classical music ever written. In preparation for the Invictus – Cantata for Liberty premiere pupils from participating schools and members of BFYC took part in an Education Day held at Brighton Aldridge Community Academy for the participating schools on Friday 24 April. During the day the children engaged in drama, music and law workshops on the themes of liberty, justice and freedom provided by specialists from Chichester Festival Theatre, barrister Tom Godfrey and BFYC Music Director and Associate Director of the National Youth Choirs of Great Britain, Esther Jones.
BFC was founded in 1968 and its debut performance was Belshazzar's Feast, with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by the composer, William Walton. Ever since, it has established and maintained a reputation as an amateur choir working with top professional orchestras and artists, delivering consistently high quality performances. BFC is also known for its versatility, as it performs not only the standard choral repertoire but also new works and commissions, and collaborations with popular music artists. BFC performs in the Brighton Festival every year and at major concert venues in London, the rest of Britain and in Europe. BFC supports Brighton Festival Youth Choir to promote and sustain
interest in choral singing in young people, and it also arranges choral workshops to encourage participation in the local community. Since its formation in January 2002, the Brighton Festival Youth Choir has fast become one of the leading youth choirs in the UK. The group's first performance was a live broadcast on BBC Radio 3. Since then it has been in great demand, working with acclaimed ensembles including the RPO, LPO, the Philharmonia, the City of London Sinfonia, the Brodsky Quartet and L’Orchestra National de Lorraine under such conductors as Richard Hickox, Jacques Mercier and James Morgan. The aims of the choir are to be one of the pre-eminent youth choirs of its type in the country, to provide for its members the opportunity to receive first class training under its director, Esther Jones. Invictus – Cantata for Liberty by Juliette Pochin and James Morgan & Requiem by Mozart Thursday 11 June, 7.30pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Church Street, Brighton Brighton Festival Chorus, Brighton Festival Youth Choir, community youth choir (approx. 125 Yr 7 & 8 students from local schools: Hove Park, Woodlands Meed, Cardinal Newman, Brighton Aldridge Community Academy, Varndean), James Morgan conductor, City of London Sinfonia tickets@brightondome.org 01273 709709
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018_LS728_brightonsarty_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 12:26 Page 1
arts
BRIGHTON’S ARTY
Alison Krog
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A RUDE AWAKENING FOR CHURCH STREET f course we’re biased because we live there. But the North Laine is still one of the coolest stomping grounds in the city. And it keeps its edginess thanks to the artists and independents that choose to set up innovative artspaces and shops within this vibrant territory. So we were delighted to learn that the irrepressible Louise Dear is opening an exciting new gallery in Church Street that will be serving up a programme of serious art in relaxed surroundings, promising ‘no barriers, no pretence’. After a decade working down in the Devon countryside, Louise is back in Brighton and determined to make an impression with CRUSH. Says the artist: “I loved the quiet beauty of Devon, but now crave the colour and energy of the city. It's time for some action. I’m ready to take my art further than ever before. I’ve found a great studio with a spacious gallery a place to work and a permanent display. It’s just what I have always wanted." To Louise, Brighton isn't just a source of inspiration, it’s a source of energy thanks to the heady, swirling mix of day-trippers, buzzing seaside kitsch and city slick: where silicon beach rubs shoulders with artistic bohemia. Brighton gives Louise the energy to charge her creative batteries. And as you can see - these paintings take a lot of energy! “They are completely exhausting to make,” says Louise. “It’s as if all my energy is absorbed into them.” CRUSH gallery (19 Church Street) is opening on Saturday 16 May with ‘RUDE’ - an exhibition showing Louise's paintings alongside the sculpture of Lucianne Lassalle. It’s a perfect mix, with just a hint of humour, so make sure you check it out. www.artymagazines.com
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the North Laine is still one of the coolest stomping grounds in the city. And it keeps its edginess thanks to the artists and independents
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019_LS728_comedy_music_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 15:26 Page 1
entertainment
COMEDY
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Victoria Nangle
MUSIC
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Jeff Hemmings
PSSTT!!! Want to know what’s good in the Brighton Fringe? Listen to the word on the street
THE GREAT ESCAPE Celebrating ten years
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he month of May is in full swing, which means that you’ve got a bagful of flyers – either that you’ve been given or to your own show – and brains are a-whirr with all of the shows you keep hearing that you’ve missed that were excellent. Darn it! Fear not, we’re only halfway through Fringe month and there’s still plenty more to catch. And here are a few that the rumblings are already starting for. Dan Fardell’s work in progress, ‘At Least 100 Jokes’ is a free (donations) show and his first full hour of comedy. It delivers on its name, and also offers up a few insights into the working of Fardell’s mind and his process. Do get there early though as the first performance was so packed I was sitting on the floor at the front as all of the seats had gone and there was precious little standing room left too. Lamb Comedy is a new venture set up just off Western Road by two huge comedy fans and is already getting a busy buzz around it. They programme shows every weekend, and are proving very popular with the grass roots comics attending shows as they include quality shows from across the South East that are emerging onto the wider comedy scene in a very exciting fashion. Already Joe Foster and Mike Cox’s ‘JAM Comedy’ is begging for a repeat viewing, and Louise Reay’s ‘It's Only Words’ piquing interest on a national scale as a show spoken in Chinese but aimed at people who can’t speak Chinese. Shows that I’ve been tipped to see include Stuart Black’s preview of his show ‘Lemsip and Cigarettes’, Paul Kerensa’s ‘Back To The Futon Part II’, and Michael Legge and Caroline Mabey’s joint show – ‘The Two Stupids’. All of these are on at the Caroline Of Brunswick, which is always so packed with good and interesting shows that I have been known to stay on when I have a spare hour, simply to take a random punt on whichever comic is scheduled to come into the room next. And the last person I did that with is currently a YouTube sensation and touring Australia. So worth it. If you find yourself at a show that you’re enjoying immensely, and the person next to you is enjoying it too – ask them what else they’ve seen that they could recommend (ask after the show’s finished!). It’s all about grass roots, spreading the word and keeping your ear to the ground. That way you’ll have the Fringe working for you, rather than forever hearing how you’ve just missed the best show of the season. www.brightonfringe.org
WHAT’S ON
Art: Mossless
The New York based photography publishing imprint take over One Eyed Jack's for a group show featuring many of their photographers. One Eyed Jack's, 28 York Place, Brighton. Until 27 June
Art: Agnes Varda Installation Legendary French filmmaker Agnès
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mazing to think that this annual showcase for music from around the globe is celebrating its tenth anniversary this year. Firmly established, it has grown to become one of the premier events of its kind, anywhere in the world. And, as always, it will feature plenty of new music, some old favourites, an alternative escape, and loads of secret shows and street gigs, which won't be announced until the festival actually kicks off. Headliners for this year are Alabama Shakes, Kate Tempest and Skepta & JME, all playing sold out shows at the Dome. But the real fun of the Great Escape, whether as a one-day, two-day or three-day ticket holder, is when you have to decide what to see via the extensive gig planer, where over 400 acts perform in 30 venues across the city, from midday to the early hours. Acts such as Django Django, The Cribs, Real Lies, Swim Deep, The Thurston Moore Band, Tropics, Gaz Coombes, DeMob Happy, Lion Babe, Ibeyi, AK/DK, Pins, The Bohicas,
Vardais featured throughout this year's Festival programme including this gallery installation, which includes a short selection of her films, plus a very special personal appearance. University of Brighton Gallery, Grand Parade, 01273 643010. Until 24 May
Event: Fringe City
Get a taste for Brighton Fringe 2015 at their outdoor showcase. Expect crazy cabaret, tremendous theatre, live music and much more. New Road, Sat 16 May, 1pm, free
Rag 'n' Bone Man, George The Poet, CC Smugglers, Matthew the oxx and Common Tongues and just the tip of the iceberg. It really is a brilliant opportunity to see your favourite new band, as well as more established favourites in relatively intimate settings. A new feature for this year is the pop-up restaurant The Plate Escape (geddit?), taking place in One Church Brighton for Friday night supper and Saturday morning brunch, where refuelling will be at a premium… Other highlights include Great Day Out, a mini multi-venue festival for ages 14+ on the Saturday, Brighton's first International Record Label Market, the new artist and delegate hangout space in Jubilee Gardens, open to all festival-goers from 7pm each evening, and of course, The Alternative Escape, which features an additional 200 artists. 14-16 May, www.escapegreat.com
Event: The Odditorium
Join Dr Bramwell and guests for a series of fascinating talks on death rituals, ghost villages, Britain’s oldest road, sun worship, utopia, occultism, the sex lives of animals, Infinity Foods and Chumbawumba! Also running on 20 May (7.30pm) and 21 May (7pm & 8.30pm). Brighton Spiegeltent: Bosco, Wed 13 May, 7.30pm, £10/8
Richard Billingham
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020_LS728_reviews-chart_011_LS466_interview 08/05/2015 11:45 Page 1
under review
GALA PLAYS
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart
The Apple Family Plays: The Public Theater New York, The Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 2 & 4 May ★★★★★ Andrew Kay
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everyone hugely entertained and beautifully culturally satiated. You’ll want this soundtrack for your future. The Warren: Main House, 1 May 2015 ★★★★★ Victoria Nangle
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1 Osaro / RJ Lovin U 2 Frankie Sling Humn 3 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Dirty Weekend In Brighton 4 Alternate Function Under Attack 5 Cascades What Have You Done To Me? This canon of drama arrived at the festival garlanded in praise and glory, a dangerous thing perhaps. Would it live up to the word? Well it did and more so, what a privilege to see this incredible company deliver this powerful work – and deliver it in a way that added new meaning to the words intimate and theatre. To sit in the Corn Exchange and see this was an intensely personal experience. I became oblivious to the audience, I became oblivious to being audience. I became a voyeur, watching the Apple family through a crack in a closet door or
a chink in a curtain. Seeing how the dynamic of a close knit group of relatives react to each other, to society, to history and to the changing face of American and world politics. But also to those familial ties, the hidden histories, the loves and favoritism, the hates and conflicts, power struggles, deceits, illness, death, admissions… Not once did I tire of this family saga played out across the dining table, that constant bond of food. I loved too the quiet, the almost whispered performance, it caught my attention and focused my mind. I think for others too as across the four plays there was a universal quiet and calm in the auditorium. I cried too, I cried a lot as the
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company so discreetly played with my emotions and reminded me of how the dynamics of my own family have, over the years, driven me to peaks of joy and depths of despair. Truly memorable, deserving of the hype in every sense, affecting, impressing, uplifting!
Point & Shoot: The Musical A comedy future film noir pastiche musical may sound like too much for one show to contain but this company carried it off with aplomb. The story of a
CarMen
6 Senior Service Slow Train
This all-male production of CarMen sees the classic story unfold in liberal ’20s Spain, and retains all the drama and excitement of Bizet’s original. Carmen himself makes dazzling inroads into a mezzo-soprano voice, truly soaring at times and reaching points of stillness and clarity that impressively filled the Warren’s festival-like Main House. The Don José role captured the frustration and passion of the man perfectly, if a little lacking in the vengeful rage of the ending but had a rich tenor that was one of the most traditionally operatic. The Escamillo had a fun strut and confident voice about him, and the whole production was enjoyable and moving. The Warren, 5 May 2015 ★★★★★ Joe Fuller
My Kampf
practically dystopian future Hollywood following an ‘independent film’ uprising and one man’s ambition to be true to his dream was brought to the stage with humour, romance, song and vigour. It’s a cast of many and a company of four remarkably talented multiinstrumental performers; Erin Hutchinson, Robert Woods, Tamara Woolrych and – of course – Tyler Jacob Jones, who also, incredibly, wrote the book and codirected. A fabulous treat that left
Andy Thomas gave a very frank and honest comedic account of his life in My Kampf. This was traditional comedy inspired by Kenneth Williams and Dad’s Army, which was executed well despite running out of time material-wise. It was interesting to see a new style of social commentary on the power of Facebook that inspired the basis of the show – God defriending him and forcing him to look back to the past. Whilst the comedy was well timed and enjoyable, Andy Thomas needs to be more confident in his delivery occasionally to make his work heightened. Dukebox Theatre, 4 May 2015 ★★★★★ Sascha Cooper
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7 Ultralites Zero Hours 8 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Frankie 9 Dirty Weekend In Brighton Ben Sherman (Style man from Brighton) 10 The Speak Beautiful People 11 Alternate Function Not So Bad 12 Cascades Run 13 Bluestone Salsero 14 KontraPunkt Shelter In The Fog 15 North Laine Sometimes 16 Mirika Legs 4 Africa 17 Mellor Drumatix Cafe Del Mellor 18 Longtomb Hearts and Minds 19 Dry Rise Sides to a Story 20 Fresh Like Dexie Sparks, Fuse, Energy
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TUESDAY 12 No Offence Channel 4, 9pm This new police comedy drama series from the writers of Shameless started last week, so it’s still dead easy to catch up. Expect pithy down-to-Earth writing and well rounded characters. Deering and her team lose the serial killer case to Maclaren’s team, after Dinah becomes involved with Cathy C.
Big Brother 2015 Channel Five, 9pm Ready to meet your new best friends for the Summer? Then plug yourself into Channel four for two hours and work out who you love, who you hate, and you reckon will kick off as the new season of housemates rock up in limos and hope you’ll love them. Or at the very least, want to know what their favourite jam is.
Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment BBC3, 10.30pm Mr Helm packs in an assortment of songs, sketches, jokes, poetry, fireworks, stunts, dance and anything else he can find in his bag of tricks AT MAXIMUM VOLUME!!! This time our intrepid and ramshackle hero looks at popular culture, rocking out like his kidneys depend on it.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Local Election Count (x2) 8.00 Burn Up With Natalie 8.30 BollyHeat 9.00 General Election Special 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Cuppa TV 11.00 Teleshopping: Shopping Mall 11.30 Brighton Hi-Lights (x2) 12.30 Northern Cuisine (x2) 1.00 Cook It 1.30 Carib-Asian Cookery 2.00 Teleshopping: Shopping Mall 2.30 Kick Out The Jams 3.00 Teleshopping: Best Direct 3.00 Noise Floor (x2) 4.30 Cuppa TV 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Reel 6.00 Latest News The Latest news where we are. 6.30 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style Beth’s lifetsyle guide for modern women. 7.00 Bright Hi-Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Novel Ideas The novelist Tony Macaulay interviews the novelist Tara West. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 Hindsight: The Shorts 9.45 Hindsight: The Shorts 10.00 QBites The year that was. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Brighton Album Chart Show Monthly top 10 compiled from albums bought in Brighton’s independent cult store, Resident Records. 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Latest News 3.00 Novel Ideas 3.30 Hindsight: The Shorts 3.45 Hindsight: The Shorts 4.00 QBites 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 5.30 Under The Radar
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 The Housing Enforcers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Decimate 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Linda’s world spirals following her accident. Buster and Mick open up to each other. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Hospital drama. Adele intervenes to bring Mo and her father together. Zosia offers to help Annabelle develop her groundbreaking experimental procedure. Raf sets out to impress Hanssen but, with a patient’s pooch on the lose, his plans go awry. 9.00 24 Hours In The Past Living history series presented by Fi Glover. Six celebrities travel back in time to the relentless graft of Victorian Britain, spending four days in four different 19th-century workplaces. Their third 24 hours finds them facing the gruelling inequality of the factories that were the powerhouses of the industrial revolution, amid the bottle kilns of the Staffordshire potteries. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 Del Boys And Dealers Documentary series following the nation’s wheeler-dealers. 11.45 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo. 12.15am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.20 BBC News
BBC2
6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 Collectaholics 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm The Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.10 The Super League Show 1.55 Glorious Gardens From Above 2.40 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 3.40 Are You Being Served? 4.10 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 Just Good Friends 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Beat The Brain Beat the Brain. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques Road Trip. 8.00 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge Stunning. 9.00 Wastemen Observational documentary series. As a nation we throw away more than ever. And with increasing landfill taxes and concerns over the environment, burying it all in a hole in the ground is no longer an option. Bigger and better solutions to our waste problems are needed and Newcastle and the Northeast are helping to lead the way. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Popular music show. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.20 Ashya: The Untold Story The story of Ashya King - the five-year-old whose parents removed him from Southampton General Hospital because they wanted a different treatment for their son. 11.50 Inside The Factory: How Our Favourite Foods Are Made Documentary series. 12.50am Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 1.50 Sign Zone: Rip Off Britain: Food 2.35 Sign Zone: Channel Patrol 4.00 The Time Traveller’s Guide To Elizabethan England Learning Zone 5.00 Bringing Books To Life
ITV1
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Alicia is faced with a difficult choice. Aaron tries to support Robert. 7.30 UEFA Champions League Live: Bayern Munich V Barcelona Mark Pougatch introduces live coverage of the second leg of the semi-final from the Allianz Arena in Munich. Bayern Munich coach Pep Guardiola is attempting to beat the Barcelona team with whom he won two Champions League titles as a coach and one as a player. Two years ago Bayern Munich beat Barcelona at the same stage of the competition, but Barcelona now boast a more formidable side including the attacking might of Lionel Messi, Neymar and Luis Suarez. With analysis from Roy Keane, Paul Scholes and Lee Dixon, and commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.45 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Mark Pougatch is joined by Lee Dixon and Andy Townsend for highlights of the second leg of the semi-final between Bayern Munich and Barcelona. 11.35 Benidorm Mick has forgotten his and Janice’s wedding anniversary. 12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
6.00am Countdown 6.40 Will And Grace 7.05 Will And Grace 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Undercover Boss 10.30 Come Dine With Me 11.00 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen drama. Tegan sees red when she bumps into a familiar face. Dr S’Avage is forced to think on his feet to save his career from crumbling. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Kirstie And Phil’s Love It Or List It Property series in which Kirstie Allsop and Phil Spencer go head to head to persuade owners to sell their homes or give them a makeover. In Bradford, Michelle is fed up with the home she shares with Andrew. 9.00 No Offence See highlights. 10.00 Benefits Street Return of the observational documentary series revealing the reality of life on benefits, as the residents of one of Britain’s most welfare-dependent streets invite cameras into their community. This time, the focus is on Kingston Road on the Tilery Estate in Stockton-on-Tees, an area hit hard by recession and economic decline. 11.00 CCTV: Caught On Camera Series which looks at the surveillance operators who keep an eye on our public spaces and our private homes. 12.00am PokerStars.co.uk European Poker Tour 12.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.25 Challenge Wanaka 1.50 Mobil 1 The Grid 2.20 British GT 2.45 Shameless 3.40 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 4.35 Double Your House For Half The Money 5.35 The Common Denominator
Channel Five
6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Milkshake! Monkey 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.45 Cowboy Builders And Bodge Jobs 12.40pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.45 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.10 Rosamunde Pilcher’s Shades Of Love 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Car Crash TV Clip show featuring ludicrous, outrageous and utterly disgraceful instances of driving captured by dashboard cameras around the world. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Police Interceptors Real-life documentary series following the high-speed law-enforcement pursuit specialists. 8.00 Britain’s Horror Homes Documentary series about people whose lives were turned upsidedown when their home became a living nightmare. A couple in west Sussex live in fear that their home will be washed away by the sea. Pollution from a flooding river is a Surrey’s couple problem. In Spain, a retired couple are horrified when the local council orders them to demolish their home - at their own cost. Deafening motorway noise has wrecked a couple’s peace and quiet in Gloucestershire. And one man lives in glorious isolation in Birkenhead after refusing to give up his home to council developers. 9.00 Big Brother 2015 See highlights. 11.00 BIg Brother’s Bit OnThe Side 12.00am Big Brother 2015 Live From The House 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 The Hotel Inspector 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
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9.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Futurama (x2) 4.00 Modern Family (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Flash 9.00 Critical 10.00 Forever 11.00 Hawaii Five0 (x2) 1.00am Futurama 1.30 Hawaii Five-0 (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Thailand’s Drug Craze: Stacey Dooley Investigates 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment. See highlights. 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 The Secret History Of Our Streets 9.00 The Girl Who Talked To Dolphins 10.00 Britain’s Greatest Pilot: The Extraordinary Story Of Captain Winkle Brown 11.00 Hidden Histories: WW1’s Forgotten Photographs 12.00am Rude Britannia
11.20am Royal Pains 12.10pm Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation Street (x2) 1.45 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 Judge Rinder 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! ( 8.00 Educating Joey Essex: Winter Essex-pedition 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen (x2) 11.00 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 1.40am Royal Pains
9.35am Judge Judy (x3) 10.50 Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Where The Heart Is 3.10 Wild At Heart 4.15 Never The Twain 4.50 On The Buses (x2) 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.05am Inspector Morse
3.00pm The Goldbergs 3.30 Melissa & Joey 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Goldbergs 8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Empire 10.00 Supernatural 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube
10.00am FILM: The Desert Fox (1951) 11.50 Time Team (x2) 2.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Building The Dream 10.00 The Billion Pound Hotel 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 1.00 Building The Dream
11.00am The Son Of Robin Hood (1959) 12.40pm The King And I (1956) 3.20 The Moonraker (1958) 5.00 Sea Devils (1953) 6.50 Definitely, Maybe (2008) 9.00 The Bourne Legacy (2012) 11.40 Man On Fire (2004) 2.30am By The Bluest Of Seas (1936) 4.00 Close
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022_LS728_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 08/05/2015 11:17 Page 1
WEDNESDAY 13 The Island With Bear Grylls Channel 4, 9pm When you get hungry you get ratty. Tempers fray and small differences become huge. Or at least that’s what’s happening on The Island. The men are getting weaker and Vic snaps at Sam, who he feels isn’t pulling his weight. Turns out that’s not the only problem he’s got with the Eton-educated Southerner.
The Delivery Man ITV1, 9.30pm We all know that it’s just as easy to change careers when you’re grown up as it is to change ambitions when you’re first asked when you’re four. So this comedy about a policeman who becomes disillusioned and quits to be a male midwife is so very recognisable. Hmm. Matthew discovers an abandoned baby.
Horizon: Who’s Afraid Of A Big Black Hole? BBC4, 10pm If you’re not afraid of a black hole then you’re a fool, we tell you! They’re one of the most destructive forces in the universe, yet scientists believe that they could hold the answer to one of the biggest questions: what was there before the Big Bang? Poke the universe bear.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 BollyHeat 9.30 Crafty Beggars 10.00 BollyHeat 10.30 Cuppa TV 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Brighton HiLights (x2) 12.30 Carib-Asian Cookery 1.00 Northern Cuisine 1.30 Cook It 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 Kick Out The Jams 3.00 Teleshopping 3.30 Noise Floor (x2) 4.30 Darton High (x2) 5.00 Under The Radar (x2) 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 6.30 Post Feature All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 7.00 Brighton Hi-Lights The best conversation, music and funniest moments from the first series of Brighton’s topical magazine program. 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Brighton Fringe 2015 A series of short films. 8.45 Artist Open Houses A look ehind the scenes. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 Love that Car 10.00 Love that Car 10.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, plus national updates. 11.00 On The Verge New sounds and breakthrough acts. 11.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton The Radio Reverb show makes the transition to TV. Visual sounds and audible colours presented by Nick Coquet. 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 Post Feature 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 Brighton Fringe 2015 3.00 Latest News 3.30 Love that Car 4.30 At Homes at Hodsock 5.00 On The Verge 5.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 The Housing Enforcers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Decimate 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Inspector George Gently Detective drama set in 1969. A man has thrown himself off the Tyne Bridge and is found dead, landed on a pile of rubbish - or so it seems. Gently knows it is murder and believes it is one involving lifelong friends. Who would want to kill a man who was apparently loved by all? 9.30 Peter Kay’s Car Share Comedy about two workers thrown together in a company car share scheme, forcing their paths to cross. With a fancy new hands-free phone kit fitted in his car, John arrives at Kayleigh’s house, only to discover that she’s far more excited by the previous night’s events. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 11.15 FILM: Margin Call (2011) Starring Kevin Spacey, Jeremy Irons, Paul Bettany, Demi Moore, Zachary Quinto, Mary McDonnell, Simon Baker, Penn Badgley. Thriller. Two young employees of an insurance company discover that the company is heading towards financial disaster. 12.55am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.00 BBC News
BBC2
6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 An Island Parish: Falklands 8.45 Cowboys And Angels 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm The Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.10 Cagney And Lacey 1.55 Glorious Gardens From Above 2.40 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 3.40 Are You Being Served? 4.10 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 Just Good Friends 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Beat The Brain Beat the Brain. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Eight of Britain’s best-loved antiques experts travel across the UK in a selection of beautiful classic cars, finding items to take to auction as they compete with each other to make the most money from buying and selling antiques. 8.00 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 9.00 Great British Garden Watch 10.00 Rory Bremner’s Election Report Comedy. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Evan Davis. 11.20 Missed Warnings: The Bradford City Fire Robert Hall returns to Valley Parade on the 30th anniversary of the day that 56 football fans died in a fire that destroyed the main grandstand during a match between Bradford City and Lincoln City. 11.50 Inside The Factory: How Our Favourite Foods Are Made Documentary series. 12.50am Sign Zone: Portillo’s State Secrets 1.20 Sign Zone: Sex And The Church 2.20 Sign Zone: Channel Patrol 4.00 Play By Play 4.30 Titch And Ted Do Maths: Measurements 5.00 Titch And Ted Do Maths: Fraction
ITV1
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Alicia finally gets some closure. Aaron fights Robert’s corner. Debbie stands up to Emma. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony brings in the heavies. 8.00 Give A Pet A Home Series which sees Amanda Holden recruit a team of celebrity animal lovers who leave their glitzy and glamorous lives behind as they devote their time to finding new homes for the mistreated and abandoned creatures. 9.00 Newzoids The topical puppet animation sketch show gives its unique take on the results of the general election, and pokes fun at the royals, pop stars, sports personalities, TV favourites, and some international despots. Featuring the voices of impressionists Jon Culshaw, Debra Stephenson, Lewis Macleod and Simon Greenall. 9.30 The Delivery Man See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Come On Down! The Game Show Story Four-part series, presented by Bradley Walsh, which examines the history of the TV game show. 11.45 Corfu: A Tale Of Two Islands Documentary series. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show
6.00am Countdown 6.40 Will And Grace 7.05 Will And Grace 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Undercover Boss 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.25 Come Dine With Me 11.55 Channel 4 News Summary 12.00pm Come Dine With Me 12.30 Come Dine With Me 1.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From York 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Simone gives a villager a cryptic caution. Nancy is gripped with jealousy when the past keeps coming back to haunt her relationship with Joe. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The World’s Most Expensive Food Two-part documentary series following the exclusive food suppliers who cater to London’s super-rich as they fight to win over a lucrative new market of foreign millionaires. 9.00 The Island With Bear Grylls See highlights. 10.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular and topical shows. 11.00 Bodyshockers: My Piercing Hell Katie Piper talks to people who are hoping to reverse body modifications they now regret and meets those who are about to go ahead with major physical alterations. Katie meets Emily, a Croydon girl with earlobes the size of coke cans. 12.00am Street Sound And Style 12.35 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 1.30 FILM: Amelia (2009) 3.20 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 4.15 Double Your House For Half The Money 5.15 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.25 The Common Denominator 5.50 Deal Or No Deal
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.45 Big Brother 2015 1.40pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS: New Orleans 3.10 Rosamunde Pilcher’s Shades Of Love 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Car Crash TV Clip show featuring outrageous driving captured by dashboard cameras around the world. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Observational documentary series. 8.00 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 2 Clip show featuring the most hilarious and outrageous cat-themed videos on the internet, presented by comedians Dave Spikey and Zoe Lyons. 9.00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of River Phoenix Documentary series in which forensic pathologist Dr Richard Shepherd pieces together the last days and controversial deaths of famous people using their autopsy reports and interviews with those who knew the victims to determine what really killed them. 10.00 Big Brother 2015 The reality television series returns. This year, the clock is ticking and housemates’ past, present and future will be in the hands of Big Brother. With Big Brother playing with the concept of time, the tasks, secret missions and twists promise to have tension, drama and intrigue. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side 12.00am The Hotel Inspector 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 Person Of Interest 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
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9.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Holidaymakers 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 FILM: Bad Boys (1995) 12.20am Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 3.05 Brit Cops
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Murder In Successville 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 American Dad! 11.35 Family Guy 12.00am Murder In Successville 12.30 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2)
7.00pm News 7.30 Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 Secrets Of Bones 8.30 The Quizeum 9.00 Fighting For King And Empire: Britain’s Caribbean Heroes 10.00 Horizon: Who’s Afraid Of A Big Black Hole? See highlights. 11.00 Secrets Of The Universe 12.00am Secrets Of Bones
12.10pm Emmerdale 12.40 Britain’s Got More Talent 1.45 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 Judge Rinder 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Best Of The Best 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: 21 Jump Street (2012) 11.15 The Vampire Diaries 12.10am Two And A Half Men (x2)
9.40am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 Inspector Morse 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 Where The Heart Is 3.15 Wild At Heart 4.20 Never The Twain 4.55 On The Buses (x2) 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Trial And Retribution 12.00am Inspector Morse
3.00pm The Goldbergs 3.30 Melissa And Joey 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Goldbergs 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Jane The Virgin 10.00 Nashville 11.00 Rude Tube: Total Stunts 12.00am Gogglebox
10.10am FILM: War Of The Worlds (1953) 11.50 Time Team (x2) 2.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 A Taste Of The Yorkshire Dales 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut
11.00am Stagecoach (1966) 1.15pm Went The Day Well? (1944) 3.05 13 Rue Madeleine (1946) 5.00 Man In The Saddle (1951) 6.45 Shallow Hal (2001) 9.00 The Eagle (2011) 11.15 The Bank Job (2008) 1.25am The King Of Comedy (1983) 3.40 Close
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THURSDAY 14 The Game BBC2, 9pm The thing about double agents is that it’s very difficult to work out whose side they’re really on. Hmm. Kate is primed to pull off a devastating attack with her access to US bases, and Joe and Jim are on her trail. Thing is, when they get close her true motives and objectives get a bit fuzzy. Darn sleeper agents.
The Secret World Of Tinder Channel 4, 10pm It’s the dating phenomenon that’s been sweeping the nation – and swiping with it. This documentary takes an eye-opening and humorous look at the smartphone dating app, from the brazen to the heartbroken, and everything else inbetween. We’ve all heard our mates’ stories, now it’s time to hear the nations’.
World War Two: 1945 & The Wheelchair President BBC4, 9pm Franklin Delano Roosevelt inspired a nation to believe in a better America. One worth fighting for, with visions of a car in every driveway and a New Deal on the horizon. But with secrets of failing health and marriage, the truth could have brought it all down for FDR.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Crafty Beggars 8.30 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style 9.00 Burn Up With Natalie 9.30 BollyHeat 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Cuppa TV 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Brighton HiLights (x2) 12.30 Carib-Asian Cookery 1.00 Cook It 1.30 Northern Cuisine 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 Kick Out The Jams 3.00 Teleshopping 3.30 Noise Floor (x2) 4.30 Post Feature 5.00 Arts Alive: Acoustic 5.30 Noise Reel 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 6.30 Crafty Beggars Julie Peasgood and Wendy Turner take the contents of rubbish bags and transform them into something worth keeping. 7.00 Brighton Hi-Lights The best conversation, music and funniest moments from the first series of Brighton’s topical magazine program. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport, featuring news about all the squads and competitions. 8.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport, featuring news about all the squads and competitions. 9.30 Albion Night The Seagulls’ weekly show with Latest Sport, featuring news about all the squads and competitions. 10.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 11.00 Live At The Latest: Forestears Forestears filmed live at the Latest MusicBar in Brighton in April 2015. 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 Latest News 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Post Feature 2.00 Albion Night 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Arts Alive: Acoustic
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 The Housing Enforcers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Decimate 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. 7.30 EastEnders Dot’s murder trial continues, and the case soon takes an unexpected turn. Shirley tries to get through to Mick and takes matters into her own hands. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Watchdog Consumer magazine which exposes high-street scandals, confronts cowboys and conducts special investigations. 9.00 Shark A wildlife series on the sharks of the world. Sharks are more than just hunters. Only now are discoveries revealing a hidden side to their character. They have an intricate social life, complex courtship rituals, surprising ways of bringing up their young and extraordinary powers of navigation. They can forge relationships with the strangest of partners, even humans. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Uxbridge. 11.45 This Week Andrew Neil presents a political review of the week. 12.30am Holiday Weatherview 12.35 BBC News
BBC2
6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 Great British Garden Revival 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.10 Cagney And Lacey 2.00 Glorious Gardens From Above 2.45 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 3.45 Are You Being Served? 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 Just Good Friends 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Beat The Brain Beat the Brain. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Eight of Britain’s best-loved antiques experts travel across the UK in a selection of beautiful classic cars, finding items to take to auction as they compete with each other to make the most money from buying and selling antiques. 8.00 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge. 9.00 The Game See highlights. 10.00 W1A Award-winning comedy about the BBC. It’s all change on the corporate merry-go-round. In his new role as senior executive, Primetime Factuality, consistently lucky David Wilkes needs to flesh out the programme idea behind One Big Family. Not having any ideas himself he turns for inspiration to Izzy Gould in her new role as development producer. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Wastemen Observational documentary series. 12.20am Sign Zone: Panorama Panorama. 12.50 Sign Zone: Inside Harley Street 1.50 Sign Zone: Channel Patrol 4.00 Operation Cloud Lab: Secrets Of The Skies - Learning Zone 4.30 Real World Chemistry 5.00 Planet Dinosaur
ITV1
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Chrissie is determined to make Robert pay. 7.30 How To Get Into A Good School: Tonight Aasmah Mir investigates how far parents will go to get their children into the school of their choice. 8.00 Emmerdale Ross makes a sacrifice for Debbie. 8.30 You’ve Been Framed! Absurd genius Harry Hill devours the world’s funniest home videos. 9.00 Fraud Squad 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Newzoids The topical puppet animation sketch show gives its unique take on the results of the general election, and pokes fun at the royals, pop stars, sports personalities, TV favourites, and some international despots. Featuring the voices of impressionists Jon Culshaw, Debra Stephenson, Lewis Macleod and Simon Greenall. 11.10 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Felicity Kendal Actress Felicity Kendal talks candidly to Piers Morgan about how the domestic bliss of her on-screen character in The Good Life contrasted with the trauma of her own personal life. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 How To Get Into A Good School: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
6.40am Will And Grace 7.05 Will And Grace 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Undercover Boss 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.25 Come Dine With Me 11.55 Channel 4 News Summary 12.00pm Come Dine With Me 12.30 Come Dine With Me 1.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From York And Salisbury 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Someone threatens to reveal Patrick’s darkest secret for their own gains. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Born Naughty? Series in which family GP Dr Dawn Harper and consultant paediatrician Dr Ravi Jayaram help children with behavioural problems. 9.00 The Island With Bear Grylls Reality survival-skills series with adventurer Bear Grylls in which two groups, one male and one female, are placed on two remote islands. On the women’s island, hunger and disorganisation are causing the group to fragment. Until now the women have been a leaderless community, so Lauren and Beth spearhead a push for leadership in the hope that this will turn the group’s fortunes around. But there are rebels in the camp. 10.00 The Secret World Of Tinder See highlights. 11.05 The Night Bus A candid look at London’s fleet of 2000 weekend night buses. 12.05am The Secret Millionaire 1.05 Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.55 Grayson Perry: Who Are You? 2.55 Grayson Perry: Who Are You? 3.50 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 4.45 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 4.55 Double Your House For Half The Money 5.50 Deal Or No Deal
Channel Five
6.00– 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.45 Cowboy Builders And Bodge Jobs 12.40pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.45 Big Brother 2015 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.10 Rosamunde Pilcher’s Shades Of Love 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Car Crash TV Clip show featuring outrageous driving and mishaps captured by dashboard cameras around the world. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 World War II In Colour Documentary telling the full story of World War II with the aid of rare and unseen archive footage, recently released official documents and modern techniques of colouring and satellite mapping. 8.00 The Last Days Of... Guy Fawkes Documentary series in which an expert panel of novelists and historians debate well-known events and people in history. Was the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 a spectacular act of rebellion, or a fanatical act of terrorism? 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Reality series in which hotelier Alex Polizzi tries to turn around some of Britain’s failing hotels and guest houses. A charming 19th-century listed hotel with function rooms, a bowling green and set in a central location in Greater Manchester should be a gold mine. Instead it has a reputation for attracting a rough crowd. 10.00 Big Brother 2015 The reality television series returns. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Gotham 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor Victoria Nangle
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Film4
9.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Holidaymakers 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 Forever 10.00 Futurama (x2) 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x4) 3.00am Brit Cops: War On Crime 4.00 Stargate Atlantis
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 American Dad! 11.40 Family Guy 12.00am Live At The Apollo (x2) 1.00 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment 1.30 Murder In Successville 2.00 Muslim Beauty Pageant And Me 3.00 Don’t Tell The Bride
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Wild China 9.00 World War Two: 1945 & The Wheelchair President . See highlights.10.30 The Dark Charisma Of Adolf Hitler 11.30 The Comet’s Tale 12.30am The Last Explorers 1.30 The Dark Charisma Of Adolf Hitler
1.45pm Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 Judge Rinder 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Senior Moments 8.00 FILM: Legally Blonde 2: Red White And Blonde (2003) 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 FILM: American Pie Presents The Naked Mile (2006) 12.55am Two And A Half Men 1.25 Mom (x2)
9.40am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 Inspector Morse 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 Where The Heart Is 3.15 Wild At Heart 4.15 Never The Twain 4.50 On The Buses (x2) 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Foyle’s War 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Trial And Retribution 12.05am Northern Lights
4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Goldbergs 8.00 2 Broke Girls 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Brooklyn NineNine 9.30 Marry Me 10.00 Gogglebox 11.00 Empire 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.00 Rude Tube
9.35am FILM: Sabrina (1954) 11.50 Time Team (x2) 2.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 FILM: Inglourious Basterds (2009) 1.00am Grand Designs 2.05 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb
11.00am The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 12.50pm Donovan’s Reef (1963) 3.00 A Farewell To Arms (1932) 4.45 Kidnapped (1971) 7.00 Run, Fat Boy, Run (2007) 9.00 XMen Origins: Wolverine (2009) 11.05 Law Abiding Citizen (2009) 1.15am Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) 3.25 Close
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FRIDAY 15 Unreported World Channel 4, 7.35pm Reporter Evan Williams and director Laura Warner travel to South Africa to meet the Black Mambas, the world’s first allfemale anti-poaching unit. Their mission is to battle to save the rhino from extinction. Rhinos are great! The team look at the initiatives being taken to stop the barbaric trade in rhino horn.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Channel 4, 9pm It’s Friday! Well done, you’ve made it. And you’ve even got funny words and numbers to greet you as the wide open weekend commences. Sean Lock and Kevin Bridges compete against Jon Richardson and Kathy Burke. with Nick Helm ‘helping’ Rachel Riley.
Je T’aime: the Story Of French Song With Petula Clark BBC4, 9pm Ooh, chanson! Petula Clark shot to fame in the late 50s with her recordings of the lyric-driven chanson. Clark hosts this documentary talking to others who enjoy the artform, from Charles Aznavour to Marc Almond, and how it has changed.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 Brighton Fringe 2015 8.15 Artists Open Houses 8.30 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style 9.00 Burn Up With Natalie 9.30 BollyHeat 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Cuppa TV 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Brighton Hi-Lights (x2) 12.30pm Northern Cuisine 1.00 CaribAsian Cookery 1.30 Cook It 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 Kick OutThe Jams 3.00 Teleshopping 3.30 Noise Floor 4.00 Noise Floor 4.30 Darton High (x2) 5.00 Under The Radar (x2) 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss this week’s stories in the press. 7.00 Brighton Hi-Lights 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics and the upcoming key elections for our future. Expect heated debate! 8.30 Latest News 9.00 Bloody Mary Hit internet horror satire. 9.30 Bored Gamers Redux The very best highlights from series one of Bored Gamers, a funny and irreverent look at video and adult board gaming. 10.00 Modern Toss 10.30 Modern Toss 11.00 Noise Reel A wave of music news and entertainment to your ears. 11.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 On The Verge 2.00 Bloody Mary 2.30 Latest News 3.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 3.30 Bored Gamers Redux 4.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 4.30 Under The Radar 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Reel
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 The Housing Enforcers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Oxford Street Revealed 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Decimate 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Lighthearted sports quiz. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders It’s the final day of Dot’s trial, and the tensions are high amongst her friends and family. 8.30 The Vicar Of Dibley Ecclesiastical sitcom about the unconventional Rev Geraldine Granger. 9.00 Have I Got News For You Comedy quiz show that grills celebrity contestants on the week’s news. 9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Comedy series about a loudmouthed Irish matriarch. With his wedding only days away and tensions running high, Dermot suffers some prenuptial jitters and takes refuge in a cupboard. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton presents his talk show. Among his guests are Simon Pegg, Michael McIntyre, and Killers lead singer-songwriter Brandon Flowers. 11.20 Peter Kay’s Car Share 11.50 FILM: I Love You, Man (2009) Starring Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones. Comedy. 1.30am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.35 BBC News
BBC2
6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 Gardeners’ World 8.45 Cowboys And Angels 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.10 Cagney And Lacey 2.00 Glorious Gardens From Above 2.45 The Great Chelsea Garden Challenge 3.45 Are You Being Served? 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 Just Good Friends 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Beat The Brain No hitting! 7.00 Antiques Road Trip 8.00 Mary Berry’s Favourite Food This is gonna be tasty! 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. 9.00 Britain’s Greatest Generation Documentary series that tells the stories of the extraordinary last survivors of the generation who fought or lived through World War II. 10.00 The Clare Balding Show Clare Balding is joined by British racing driver Susie Wolff in the latest episode of her chat show. The Williams driver opens up to Clare about her battle to break down gender barriers in motorsport, and how it felt to make history in 2014 when she became the first woman for 22 years to take part in a Formula 1 weekend, doing so at the British Grand Prix. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. 11.05 Later... With Jools Holland Jools Holland’s iconic music programme, featuring live sessions from contemporary and classic artists. 12.05am Sign Zone: Question Time 1.05 Sign Zone: Secret Britain 2.05 Sign Zone: Channel Patrol
ITV1
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Robert helps Chrissie. Debbie is worried for Ross. 7.30 Coronation Street Faye is left holding the baby. 8.00 Weekend Escapes With Warwick Davis This week, Warwick takes his family to their first ever festival - Camp Bestival in Lulworth. 8.30 Coronation Street Anna and Faye receive a surprise visit. 9.00 Man & Beast With Martin Clunes In the first programme in a two-part documentary, Martin Clunes sets out on a journey around the world to investigate the extraordinary relationship between man and beast. From birds to bears, and from pets to primates, Martin observes humans and animals working side by side in ways that have existed and evolved over thousands of years. In the first episode he travels to Nepal. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 FILM: Cape Fear (1991) Starring Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis. Taut thriller about a sadistic psychopath, released from prison after serving a 14-year sentence, who is obsessed with taking his revenge on the lawyer who unsuccessfully defended him. 1.00am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen
6.40am Will And Grace 7.05 Will And Grace 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Undercover Boss 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.25 Come Dine With Me 11.55 Channel 4 News Summary 12.00pm Come Dine With Me 12.30 Come Dine With Me 1.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks A blaze rips through a Hollyoaks household with tragic consequences. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Unreported World See highlights. 8.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Comic book drama. A dangerous new alliance is formed as Coulson and Hunter turn to the last person anyone would expect. As the war between S.H.I.E.L.D. factions continues, Sky and Lincoln find themselves drawn into the conflict. 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Comic Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan is joined by actress Billie Piper who discusses her role in the new series of Penny Dreadful. Plus, Charli XCX performs her new single, Famous. 11.05 Virtually Famous Comedy panel show hosted by Glee star Kevin McHale, which celebrates the weird and wonderful online sensations that have got millions talking and sharing. 11.55 Brooklyn Nine-Nine US police sitcom. 12.25am FILM: 500 Days Of Summer (2009) 2.00 Shameless 2.55 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 3.55 Double Your House For Half The Money 4.50 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 4.55 Deal Or No Deal
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.45 Cowboy Builders And Bodge Jobs 12.40pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.45 Big Brother 2015 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles 3.10 Rosamunde Pilcher’s Shades Of Love 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Car Crash TV Clip show featuring outrageous driving and mishaps captured by dashboard cameras around the world. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked consumer series showcasing the latest tech presented by Ortis Deley, Jason Bradbury, Jon Bentley and Amy Williams. 8.00 Lusitania: 18 Minutes That Changed The World Documentary bringing to life the horrific events when Cunard’s flagship passenger liner, RMS Lusitania, was sunk by a torpedo from a German U-boat on 7th May 1915, seen from the perspectives of the survivors and the German submarine captain. 9.00 Big Brother 2015 The reality television series returns. This year, the clock is ticking and housemates’ past, present and future will be in the hands of Big Brother. With Big Brother playing with the concept of time, the tasks, secret missions and twists promise to have tension, drama and intrigue. How will this affect the housemates? Time may be a friend or an enemy. 10.30 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side 11.30 Big Brother: Live From The House 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Big Brother 2015 4.20 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
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11.00am NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Holidaymakers 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Relatively Clever 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x5) 4.00am Stargate Atlantis
7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes V 7.15 Atlantis 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Live At The Apollo 9.30 Family Guy 10.15 EastEnders 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 American Dad! 11.55 Family Guy 12.15am Murder In Successville 12.45 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment 1.15 Live At The Apollo
7.00pm News 7.30 Nigel Kennedy At The BBC 8.30 Sounds Of The Eighties 9.00 Je T’aime: The Story Of French Song With Petula Clark 10.00 Shirley Bassey At The BBC. See highlights. 11.00 Imagine... Dame Shirley Bassey - The Girl From Tiger Bay 12.00am Definitely Dusty 1.00 Je T’aime
11.20am Royal Pains 12.10pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.15 You’ve Been Framed! 1.45 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 Judge Rinder 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Unleashed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Matrix Reloaded (2003) 11.45 Take Me Out 1.05am Two And A Half Men
9.30am Judge Judy (x3) 10.50 Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Where The Heart Is 3.10 Wild At Heart 4.15 Never The Twain 4.45 On The Buses (x2) 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Wycliffe 12.10am FILM: Hamlet (1990)
3.30pm Melissa And Joey 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Goldbergs 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Limitless (2011) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube: Viral Ads 1.05 2 Broke Girls
9.30am FILM: Escape To Athena (1979) 11.50 Time Team (x2) 2.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Anzac Girls 10.20 24 Hours In A&E 11.20 The Golden Rules Of Porn 1.00am Grand Designs 2.05 The Good Wife
11.00am Decision At Sundown (1957) 12.35pm Fixed Bayonets (1951) 2.25 Ride Lonesome (1959) 4.05 The Bandit Of Sherwood Forest (1946) 5.45 The Son Of Robin Hood (1959) 7.20 Bride Wars (2009) 9.00 Taken (2008) 10.45 Bronson (2008) 12.30am Priest (2011) 2.15 Elephant White (2011) 4.00 Close
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SATURDAY 16 Britain’s Got Talent ITV1, 8pm They say that Britain has the best eccentrics, and Britain’s Got Talent is certainly grist to the mill of that argument. Prepare to be amazed alongside judges Simon Cowell, David Walliams, Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon at the talent and delusionment of the great British public. They’ve got a nerve...
FILM: The Hunger Games Channel 4, 9pm The first in the series of blockbuster films starring an Oscar-winning actress and based on a bestselling novel series. Sounds good, dunnit? Set in a dystopian future, Katniss Everdeen volunteers to take her sister’s place in the brutal Hunger Games, pitching teen against teen to the death.
1864 BBC4, 9pm Who’s been missing Scandinavian dramas? Alright, put your hands down. Now, who ever thought they’d get to see the most recent subtitled televisual hit in costume drama? We know! Pretty darn tooting impressive, that’s what it is. This brand new series starts tonight with a double bill and plenty of battles.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Noise Floor (x2) 7.00 Albion Nights 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Noise Reel 12.00pm Brighton Fringe 2015 12.15 Artists Open Houses 12.30 Love That Car 1.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 In The Pot 3.00 Teleshopping 3.30 Land Rovers Live 4.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 5.00 Post Feature 5.30 Northern Cuisine 6.00 The Newspapers 6.30 Richard Durrant: Cycling Music Richard Durrant’s Cycling Music was filmed in Spring 2014. 7.30 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 8.00 Latest News The Latest News where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates. 8.30 Noise Reel David and Ellie host Brighton’s first and foremost local music entertainment show, plugged into the news gossip and live scene on the South Coast. 9.00 FilmFest on TV Jessica Kellgren Hayes features the United Magic Film Studios and the films of Jonathan Brooks. 11.00 Under The Radar Great music videos that may have been under your radar with Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings. 11.30 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 Brighton Album Show 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 You Make It, We Show It! 2.30 2.30 Latest News 3.00 On The Verge 3.30 FilmFest on TV: 5.30 Under The Radar
BBC1
BBC2
6.00 South East Today 6.10 Pointless Celebrities A celebrity edition of the quiz that tests the depths of general knowledge, presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman. Featuring British film actors Phil Daniels and Leslie Ash, Keith Allen and Clare Grogan, Vas Blackwood and Thomas Turgoose and Sally Thomsett and Phil Cornwell. 7.00 Atlantis Fantasy drama set in an ancient world of legendary heroes and mythical creatures. 8.30 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton presents the quiz show where five contestants compete in a general knowledge quiz show to win a life-changing amount of money. All five could share £100,000, or one lucky player could take home the lot. Including the Lotto and Thunderball draws. 9.20 Casualty Charlie and Connie embark on a mission to save Louis which takes them to the darkest corners of Bucharest and pushes them to their limits. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Premier League. 11.55 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo. 12.25am FILM: The 51st State (2001) 1.50 Weather For The Week Ahead 1.55 BBC News
6.20 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. 6.50 The Great British Garden Watch Documentary series about life in contemporary Britain. Lucy Cohen’s film goes behind the net curtains to discover amateur naturalists all over Britain who have transformed their gardens into intense filming environments. 7.50 Britain’s Greatest Generation Documentary that tells the stories of the extraordinary last survivors of the generation who fought or lived through World War II. 8.50 Dad’s Army Classic comedy. 9.20 FILM: Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2014) Starring Felicity Montagu, Colm Meaney, Steve Coogan, Tim Key, Karl Theobald, Nigel Lindsay, Monica Dolan. Comedy. A celebrated radio DJ and former talkshow presenter ends up in a siege when a disgruntled colleague decides to take the staff hostage. 10.45 Rory Bremner’s Election Report Comedy. Featuring Rory Bremner, John Bird, Matt Forde, Sara Pascoe and a light scattering of guest stars, this half-hour special is a follow up to Rory’s Coalition Report broadcast earlier this year. 11.15 W1A Award-winning comedy. 11.45 FILM: In The Loop (2009) Starring Peter Capaldi, Tom Hollander, Gina McKee, James Gandolfini. Political satire.
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Paul Hollywood’s Bread 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 12.50 Saturday Sportsday 1.00 Athletics: Diamond League Doha Highlights 2.00 Rugby League 4.30 Final Score 5.20 Mastermind Celebrity Special 5.50 BBC News
6.20am Animal Park 6.50 FILM: In Search Of The Castaways (1962) 8.30 FILM: The Charge Of The Light Brigade (1936) 10.20 Homes Under The Hammer 11.20 Escape To The Country 12.05pm Living Famously 1.05 FILM: Rope (1948) 2.25 James Mason: Talking Pictures 3.05 FILM: North By Northwest (1959) 5.20 Flog It!
ITV1
6.00am Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 6.45 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 7.00 Canimals 7.15 Sooty 7.30 Super 4 7.45 Nerds & Monsters 8.00 Thunderbirds Are Go 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Weekend 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.30pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.40 Doc Martin 2.40 Who’s Doing The Dishes? 3.40 FILM: Freaky Friday (2003) 5.35 ITV News Meridian 5.45 ITV News 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Hall Of Framed Celebrating 25 years of accidents, Harry Hill revisits some of the nation’s favourite funniest videos. 7.00 Ninja Warrior UK Ben Shephard, Rochelle Humes and Chris Kamara host the sixth heat of Ninja Warrior UK. Competitors from all over the UK take on TV’s toughest obstacle course. 8.00 Britain’s Got Talent See highlights. 9.20 Play To The Whistle Sportsbased panel show hosted by Holly Willoughby. On this week’s show, team captains Frank Lampard and Bradley Walsh are joined by guests jockey AP McCoy, talk show host Jonathan Ross and Coronation Street’s Brooke Vincent, along with regulars Romesh Ranganathan, Seann Walsh and Jimmy Bullard. 10.05 ITV News; Weather 10.20 FILM: The Break-Up (2006) Starring Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Joey Lauren Adams, Cole Hauser, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman. A twist on the traditional romantic comedy formula as a happy couple’s relationship implodes amid childishness and bickering. When neither wants to move out of their luxury apartment, a battle of wits ensues. 12.15am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen
Channel 4
6.15am How I Met Your Mother 6.40 How I Met Your Mother 7.05 Tarawera Ultra Mararthon 7.30 FIM Superbike World Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.30 Frasier 11.00 Frasier 11.30 The Big Bang Theory 12.00pm The Big Bang Theory 12.25 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1.25 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Come Dine With Me 4.45 Come Dine With Me 5.15 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me 6.15 Come Dine With Me Dinner party competition. 6.40 Channel 4 News 7.00 Cornwall: Walking Through History Tony Robinson goes on another walk through some of Britain’s most historic landscapes in search of the richest stories from our past. This time, he undertakes a fourday trek along the coastline between Plymouth and Falmouth. 8.00 The World’s Most Extreme Documentary series showcasing the most jaw-dropping places on Earth. This edition visits the ten most extreme airports on Earth, including an ice airport that is rebuilt every year, a runway squeezed between skyscrapers and a landing strip carved into mountains. At Madeira’s Funchal airport, vicious crosswinds make for especially hair-raising landings. It also features an airport in Scotland with a runway that disappears with every tide. 9.00 FILM: The Hunger Games (2012) See highlights. 11.50 FILM: Underworld: Awakening (2012) Starring Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rea, Michael Ealy, Theo James, India Eisley. Fantasy action story. 1.30am Alan Carr: Chatty Man 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.35 Double Your House For Half The Money 5.30 The Common Denominator 5.55 How I Met Your Mother
Channel Five
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.45 Jelly Jamm 9.00 LazyTown 9.30 Dora And Friends 10.00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.35 Cowboy Builders And Bodge Jobs 11.30 Britain’s Horror Homes 12.30pm The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 1.25 The Hotel Inspector 2.25 FILM: Columbo: The Most Dangerous Match (1973) 3.55 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 2 4.55 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 5.50 5 News Weekend 5.55 Police Interceptors 6.45 FILM: Spider-Man 3 (2007) Starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rosemary Harris, JK Simmons, James Cromwell. Superhero sequel. The life of Peter Parker and his arachnid alter ego is shattered when a mysterious black entity bonds with his suit and begins to turn him to evil. At the same time, he faces challenges on three fronts from an escaped convict named the Sandman, a fanged villain called Venom, and his old friend Harry. 9.20 Big Brother: Timebomb Highlights of the latest events in the house over the past 24 hours. This year, the clock is ticking and housemates’ past, present and future are in the hands of Big Brother. 10.20 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series. There is a sting in the tail for the team this week as they search for two abducted sisters, whose captor was prepared to kill to get his claws into them. 11.15 NCIS Drama series. The team is called in when a marine’s wife is murdered live on the internet. 12.15am SuperCasino 3.10 Big Brother: Timebomb 4.00 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Make It Big 5.45 Angels Of Jarm 5.50 Angels Of Jarm Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
2.00pm Greatest Disney Songs 3.00 Galapagos With David Attenborough 4.00 Modern Family (x5) 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Avengers: Age Of Ultron Special 7.30 NCIS: Los Angeles 8.30 Hawaii Five-0 9.30 Mad Max: Fury Road Special 10.00 FILM: Lucky Number Slevin (2006) 12.10am NCIS: Los Angeles
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 How To Win Eurovision 10.00 Happy Valley 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 Family Guy 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 Family Guy 12.50 Family Guy 1.15 Murder In Successville 1.45 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment 2.15 Bluestone 42 (x2) 3.45 Great Movie Mistakes V
7.00pm Survivors: Nature’s Indestructible Creatures 8.00 Wild Arabia 9.00 1864. See highlights. 10.00 1864 11.00 Queen - Days Of Our Lives 12.00am Metal At The BBC 12.30 Guitar Heroes At The BBC 1.30 Wild Arabia 2.30 Survivors: Nature’s Indestructible Creatures
11.15am Britain’s Got Talent 12.35pm Britain’s Got More Talent 1.35 Catchphrase 2.20 FILM: Kindergarten Cop (1990) 4.30 Mr Bean (x2) 5.40 FILM: King Kong (2005) 9.20 Britain’s Got More Talent 10.20 Celebrity Juice 11.05 Britain’s Got Talent 12.20am Britain’s Got More Talent
6.20am Countrywise 7.20 Where The Heart Is (x2) 9.30 The Darling Buds Of May 10.40 FILM: All Creatures Great And Small (1975) 12.30pm FILM: Evil Under The Sun (1982) 2.50 Wycliffe 3.55 Columbo: Etude In Black 6.00 Lewis 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Inspector Morse 1.20am Wire In The Blood
10.00am Melissa & Joey (x2) 11.00 Baby Daddy (x2) 12.00pm New Girl (x2) 1.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 2.55 FILM: Maid In Manhattan (2002) 5.00 Made In Chelsea 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x6) 9.00 FILM: She’s All That (1999) 11.00 Gogglebox 12.00am The Inbetweeners (x2)
11.05am FILM: The Lady Vanishes (1979) 1.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 3.40 Building The Dream 4.45 Location, Location, Location (x3) 7.55 Father Ted (x2) 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 10.00 Jimmy Carr Being Funny 11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.55 Father Ted (x2) 1.00am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
11.00am Appointment In London (1953) 1.00pm Rio (2011) 2.50 Flash Gordon (1980) 5.00 City Of Ember (2008) 6.50 Definitely, Maybe (2008) 9.00 The ATeam (2010) 11.20 The Raid (2011) 1.20am Mirrors (2008) 3.35 Close
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SUNDAY 17 Jonathan Strange And Mr Norrell BBC2, 9pm Based on the historical fantasy bestselling novel, this tells of two men destined to bring magic back to England. Get in! Their dangerous rivalry allows a greater evil to threaten the nation, and as Mr Norrell makes a dangerous pact so much more than he thinks is at stake.
Grayson Perry’s Dream House Channel 4, 9pm A documentary charting the creation of Grayson Petty’s most personal artwork to date; a loving tribute and celebration of his homeland of Essex. Inspired by the people he grew up with, the piece is a secular chapel dedicated to the mythical Essex everywoman, and named Julie.
Ainsley Harriott’s Street Food More4, 8pm It’s a tough life, isn’t it Ainsley? Jetting around the world and finding the best foods to tell us all about. You know, Ainsley, trying out the most fashionable new style of food – street food – might even broaden our home taste horizons. You’re in Istanbul tonight? Not bitter here at all. No.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 The Newspapers (x2) 9.00 Brighton Hi-Lights (x2) 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Family, Faith And Fun 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 VT Nation 12.00pm Land Rovers Live 12.30 Growing Concerns 1.00 Brighton HiLights 1.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 VT Nation 3.00 Teleshopping 3.30 Love That Car 4.00 International Chef Exchange 5.00 Family, Faith And Fun 5.30 Growing Concerns 6.00 Latest News 6.30 VT Nation Magazine show highlighting funny and amazing stories from around the UK. 7.00 Brighton Hi-Lights The best conversation, videos, music and funniest moments from Latest TV's first broadcast series of Brighton's topical magazine programme. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 Land Rovers Live Adventures, stories and enthusiasts following one of the world’s most iconic vehicles both old and new. 9.00 FilmFest on TV Jessica Kellgren-Hayes introduces ‘Hampi, Valley of the Kings’ by Substantial Films. 11.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton The Radio Reverb show makes the transition to TV. Visual sounds and audible colours presented by Nick Coquet. 11.30 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 Brighton Album Show 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 Land Rovers Live 2.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 3.00 Brighton Hi-Lights 3.30 FilmFest on TV 5.30 Under The Radar
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 7.30 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Bargain Hunt 1.55 Homes Under The Hammer 2.55 Escape To The Country 3.25 Shark 4.25 Lifeline 4.35 Points Of View 4.50 Songs Of Praise 5.35 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile Anita Rani returns to her home turf of Bradford to explore the countryside on the edge of the city. She discovers the rural gems right on her doorstep and the journey that has been made for centuries from the urban sprawl to the fresh air of the nearby moors. The team also look back through the archive at the times when they have explored the places and stories where town meets country. They revisit the time Matt Baker took to the dizzy heights of the Avon Gorge in Bristol to discover its flora and fauna, and when Ellie Harrison unearthed some extraordinary rock homes on the outskirts of Stourbridge. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team hear fascinating stories and make bombshell valuations as they examine people’s treasures. 9.00 Jonathan Strange And Mr Norrell See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of the day’s matches. 11.35 Athletics Athletics action. 12.35am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.40 BBC News
BBC2
6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 6.30 The Big Allotment Challenge 7.30 Countryfile 8.30 Gardeners’ World 9.00 The Beechgrove Garden 9.30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.00 Mary Berry’s Absolute Favourites 11.30 Paul Hollywood’s Bread 12.00pm FILM: Scott Of The Antarctic (1948) 1.45 Live Rugby League Challenge Cup 4.30 Triathlon: World Series Yokohama 6.00 Hotel India Documentary series going behind the scenes of India’s oldest and most famous hotel, the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. The Taj is where the super-rich come to be treated like the Maharajahs of India’s past. 7.00 A Very British Airline 8.00 Demolition: The Wrecking Crew Does not feature Miley Cyrus in any way, shape or form. 9.00 The Detectives The Detectives. 10.00 FILM: Made In Dagenham (2010) Starring Sally Hawkins, Andrea Riseborough, Bob Hoskins, Jaime Winstone, Lorraine Stanley. Comedy drama charting the fight of female factory workers at the Ford Dagenham plant for equal pay. In 1968, one plucky factory worker leads her colleagues out on strike in the hope of eradicating unfair working conditions and sexual discrimination. 11.45 FILM: Hideous Kinky (1998) Starring Kate Winslet, Said Taghmaoui, Bella Riza, Carrie Mullan. In the early 70s a young English mother of two arrives in Morocco in search of meaning and adventure, accompanied by her two daughters, aged six and eight. Seen through the girls’ eyes, the trip is full of glorious life and colour, but it is also beset by confusion, a worrying shortage of money and the group’s discovery that their freedom comes at a price. 1.20am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.20 Sign Zone: Holby City
ITV1
6.00am Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 6.45 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 7.00 Canimals 7.15 Sooty 7.30 Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Weekend 9.25 Judge Rinder 10.20 Judge Rinder 11.25 Judge Rinder 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.30 Tipping Point 1.30 Britain’s Got Talent 2.45 All Star Family Fortunes 3.50 Midsomer Murders 5.50 Ninja Warrior UK 6.45 ITV News Meridian 7.00 ITV News; Weather 7.15 Celebrity Squares 8.00 Sunday Night At The Palladium 9.00 Home Fires Drama series set in a Cheshire village during the Second World War. The isolated community could not feel further away from the impending bloodshed and battlefields, yet it is not immune from the effects of war. Everyone must make sacrifices as war starts to have an impact on the village. As Pat’s marriage deteriorates, Kate and Jack’s relationship intensifies. 10.05 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Perspectives: The Great American Love Song With Nicky Campbell Arts documentary series. Nicky Campbell reckons that in the 1920s and 1930s New York produced the best songs ever written. He visits Manhattan to explore his lifelong passion for this golden age of songwriting, when the music of packed Broadway theatres fused with the sounds of Harlem’s raunchy jazz clubs. 11.15 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership All the action from round 22 of the Aviva Premiership. 12.10am The Store 2.30 Motorsport UK 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
Channel 4
6.20am How I Met Your Mother 6.40 How I Met Your Mother 7.05 Volkswagen Racing Cup 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 1.30 The Big Bang Theory 2.00 The Simpsons 2.30 The Simpsons 3.00 FILM: The Parent Trap (1998) 5.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Speed With Guy Martin Series in which motorcycle racer and lorry mechanic Guy Martin explores the boundaries of speed. In this first episode, Guy attempts, with the help of slipstreaming, to break the British record for outright speed on a bicycle: an incredible 110mph. 8.00 For The Love Of Cars Car fanatic Philip Glenister and renowned car designer Ant Anstead bring wrecked classic cars back to life. The duo look at the world of Swedish cars, celebrating them as the unlikely trail blazers of motoring. 9.00 Grayson Perry’s Dream House See highlights. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts as Sean Lock and Kevin Bridges go up against special guests Jon Richardson and Kathy Burke. Joe Lycett is in Dictionary Corner, while Nick Helm assists Rachel Riley with numbers and letters. 11.05 Jimmy Carr: Laughing And Joking Stand-up from comedian Jimmy Carr. 12.10am FILM: Hyde Park On Hudson (2012) 1.45 Undercover Boss Canada 2.35 Born Naughty? 3.30 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 4.25 The Renovation Game 5.20 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 5.30 The Common Denominator 5.55 How I Met Your Mother
Channel Five
6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Wanda And The Alien 8.05 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.10 Zack And Quack 8.25 Olly The Little White Van 8.30 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.40 Mio Mao 8.45 Jelly Jamm 9.00 LazyTown 9.30 Dora And Friends 10.00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.35 Access 10.40 The Dog Rescuers 11.05 Police Interceptors 12.05pm Police Interceptors 1.05 Police Interceptors 2.00 FILM: The Money Pit (1986) 3.45 FILM: See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) 5.40 FILM: The Great Escape (1963) 8.50 5 News Weekend 9.00 Big Brother: Timebomb Highlights of the latest events in the house over the past 24 hours. This year, the clock is ticking and housemates’ past, present and future are in the hands of Big Brother. 10.00 FILM: The Rock (1996) Starring Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, John Spencer, David Morse, William Forsythe, Michael Biehn, Vanessa Marcil, John C McGinley, Gregory Sporleder, Tony Todd, Bokeem Woodbine, Claire Forlani, Willie Garson and James Caviezel. Action thriller about a war hero who holds San Francisco to ransom, and the FBI scientist charged with stopping him. The deranged general and his men take the disused prison island of Alcatraz, threatening to unleash chemical warheads unless their demands are met. 12.40am FILM: Bangkok Dangerous (2008) Thriller about a cold international contract killer who travels to Bangkok for his last assignments. As retirement approaches, he makes some sloppy errors, leaving traces of his identity. He also gets emotionally involved with both the local tough and a charming deaf girl. 2.30 SuperCasino 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Make It Big 5.45 Angels Of Jarm 5.50 Angels Of Jarm Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
9.00am Football’s Funniest Moments 10.00 Glee 11.00 WWE Raw 12.00pm The Flash 1.00 The Real A&E (x2) 2.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 3.00 Modern Family (x4) 5.00 The Simpsons (x8) 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Tatau (x2) 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Murder In Successville 12.40 American Dad! 1.00 Family Guy 1.25 Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment 1.50 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.20 In Deep
7.00pm Operation Jericho 8.00 Fighting For King And Empire: Britain’s Caribbean Heroes 9.00 Burma, My Father And The Forgotten Army 10.00 Easter Island: Mysteries Of A Lost World 11.30 Je T’aime: The Story Of French Song With Petula Clark 12.30am Shirley Bassey At The BBC 1.30 Imagine...
1.05pm Catchphrase 1.50 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 3.30 FILM: Legally Blonde 2: Red White And Blonde (2003) 5.35 Britain’s Got Talent 6.55 Britain’s Got More Talent 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! Presents... 9.00 FILM: 21 Jump Street (2012) 11.15 FILM: The Matrix Reloaded (2003) 1.45am Fake Reaction
8.10am Heartbeat (x2) 10.15 Wycliffe 11.25 Columbo: Etude In Black 1.25pm A Touch Of Frost 3.40 FILM: Clockwise (1986) 5.35 Wycliffe 6.40 Inspector Morse 9.00 The Best Of Royal Variety 10.00 Vicious (x2) 11.05 FILM: Steptoe And Son (1972) 1.05am Like Father, Like Son 2.20 Judge Judy (x3)
12.30pm Made In Chelsea 1.35 Melissa & Joey (x2) 2.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 3.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 FILM: Three Men And A Baby (1987) 7.00 The Big Bang Theory (x6) 10.00 Gogglebox 11.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 12.10am Virtually Famous
12.05pm Food Unwrapped (x3) 1.40 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (x2) 2.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Ainsley Harriott’s Street Food. See highlights. 9.00 Car S.O.S 10.00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut
11.00am Sea Devils (1953) 1.00pm The Legend Of Zorro (2005) 3.40 The Hunt For Red October (1990) 6.30 Hugo (2011) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.25am Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) 2.25 The Day He Arrives (2011) 4.00 Close
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MONDAY 18 Gotham Channel Five, 9pm Only one more episode to go! Eek! No wonder everything’s shaking up in Gotham, as this penultimate visit in the series lines all manner of things up on a knife’s edge ready to topple. The Ogre gets closer to Barbara, while the Penguin leads a massacre, plus Bruce learns the truth about Wayne Enterprises.
Episodes BBC2, 10pm Matt’s in a bit of a pickle, financially speaking. To make matters tighter, his ex-wife’s new wedding is looking less certain meaning his alimony payments may not be stopping as soon as he previously thought. What to do? Clearly it’s to beg Sean and Beverly to tell their nemesis that Matt’s free to work for him. Hm.
Sherlock BBC3, 8.30pm Everybody loves a locked room mystery. Don’t you love a locked room mystery? Sherlock and Watson have a locked room mystery, but they’ve also got a blood-soaked car, a priceless Old Master, a deranged bomber and a shadowy stranger. Greedy detectives, that’s what they are, but what might link it all?
¸ terrestrial 6.00am The Vote (x4) 8.00 BollyHeat 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 The Newspapers (x2) 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Cuppa TV 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Brighton Hi-Lights (x2) 12.30pm Cook It 1.00 Carib-Asian Cookery 1.30 Northern Cuisine 2.00 Teleshopping 2.30 Noise Floor 3.00 Teleshopping 3.30 Noise Floor 4.00 Kick Out The Jams 4.30 Burn Up With Natalie 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Darton High Will Nadine get any votes to become student rep and what is Tony up to in the girls’ toilet? 6.45 Darton High Why is Dexter bringing his little sister into school? 7.00 Brighton Hi-Lights The best conversation, videos, music and funniest moments from Latest TV’s first broadcast series. 7.30 Latest News The latest local news where you are, plus national updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Carib-Asian Cookery Sherrie Eugene-Hart and Pat Hart blend an intoxicating infusion of Caribbean and Asian food from recipes handed down by their parents. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 International Chef Exchange Top chefs swap for a week with chefs from all over the world. – Den Haag. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 DiTR Presents 11.30 Arts Alive: Acoustic 12.00am Teleshopping 12.30 Darton High 12.45 Darton High 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Carib-Asian Cookery 3.00 Latest News 3.30 International Chef Exchange 4.30 Latest News 5.00 On The Verge 5.30 Arts Alive: Acoustic
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Channel Five
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 The Housing Enforcers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Saints And Scroungers 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.40 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.15 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 3.45 Decimate 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless
6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 Wanted In Paradise 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Italy Unpacked 1.00 Cagney And Lacey 1.45 Cash In The Attic 2.15 Athletics: Diamond League Doha Highlights 3.15 Elephant Diaries 3.45 Are You Being Served? 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 Just Good Friends 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Beat The Brain John Craven hosts the quiz. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip It is the beginning of a new road trip with Thomas Plant and Anita Manning. The experts are touring the country in a yellow Lotus and their first leg sees them start in Hertfordshire before travelling round South West England. 8.00 The RHS Chelsea Flower Show All you can eat bee-buffet. 9.00 The Detectives Drama with nothing to do with Jasper Carrott or Robert Powell. 10.00 Episodes See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Evan Davis. 11.20 FILM: The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas (2008) Starring Vera Farmiga, Zac Mattoon O’Brien, Domonkos Nemeth, Henry Kingsmill, David Thewlis. The tale of an unlikely friendship between Bruno, the son of a Nazi commandant, and Shmuel, a Jewish boy held captive in a concentration camp. 12.45am Sign Zone: Britain’s Greatest Generation 1.45 Sign Zone: Gallipoli: When Murdoch Went To War 4.00 Divine Women 4.30 Strictly Soulmates 5.00 My Life, My Religion 5.25 My Life, My Religion
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.20am How I Met Your Mother 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Undercover Boss 10.30 Come Dine With Me 11.00 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen drama. The McQueens are stunned by Trevor’s latest scheme. John Paul has a controversial proposition for Ste. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Damned Designs: Don’t Demolish My Home Documentary series. Andy Fannon has created a real home-from-home for the local community in Warrington, after taking over a run-down pub near the town’s rugby league ground. However, the pub’s Grade ll listed status threatens to end the good times and tempers flare when Andy adds a large extension to cope with the influx of thirsty fans. 9.00 Benefits Street Observational documentary series revealing the reality of life on benefits, as the residents of one of Britain’s most welfare-dependent streets invite cameras into their community. 10.00 The Night Bus Fly-on-the-wall documentary series following the passengers on one of London’s night buses. 11.00 The Island With Bear Grylls Reality survival-skills series with adventurer Bear Grylls. 12.00am Shooting Gallery 12.30 24 Hours In A&E 1.25 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 2.20 Supersize Vs Superskinny 3.15 You Can’t Get The Staff 4.10 The Renovation Game 5.05 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under
6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.45 Cowboy Builders And Bodge Jobs 12.40pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.45 Big Brother: Timebomb 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Wild Hearts (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Car Crash TV Clip show featuring outrageous driving and road mishaps captured by dashboard cameras around the world. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked consumer series showcasing the latest tech presented by Ortis Deley, Jason Bradbury, Jon Bentley and Amy Williams. 8.00 Worlds Angriest Caught On Camera A whistle-stop world tour of the angriest scenes ever caught on camera. Nine out of ten people have been involved in some sort of road rage incident, and it is no wonder that tempers are fraying, with more than a billion motor vehicles on the world’s roads. 9.00 Gotham See highlights. 10.00 Big Brother: Timebomb Highlights of the latest events in the house over the past 24 hours. This year, the clock is ticking and housemates’ past, present and future are in the hands of Big Brother. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate with special guests, exclusive footage and behindthe-scenes treats. Presented by Rylan Clark. 12.30am Jackass 12.55 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3)
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. 7.30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Coverage of the Royal Horticultural Society’s 102nd Chelsea Flower Show. 7.57 BBC News And Regional News National and regional news bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Ooh! Lub a duck... cor blimey guv’nor... it weren’t me, Dot! Straight up! Etc... 8.30 Panorama Documentary. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric bunch of expolicemen, brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. 10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide. 10.25 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England. 10.45 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the classic news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 11.25 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton presents his chat show. 12.15am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.20 BBC News
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jai puts Rachel in danger. Lachlan blackmails Robert. 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Wild Ireland Christine Bleakley presents the six-part series in which she drives, climbs, walks and swims her way along the longest continuous coastal route in the world, Ireland’s 1,500-mile Wild Atlantic Way. In the final episode in the series, Christine travels across the open ocean in Ireland’s only cable car. 8.30 Coronation Street 9.00 Scammers A look at the dramatic increase of cyber crime in Britain, a problem so worrying the government is secretly putting millions of pounds into new specialist units to catch these 21st century crooks. Scamming is the new burglary and is currently costing the UK economy an estimated 27 billion pounds a year. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Class Of 92 Cinematic documentary examining the rise to prominence and global sporting superstardom of six supremely talented young Manchester United footballers - David Beckham, Nicky Butt, Ryan Giggs, Phil Neville, Paul Scholes and Gary Neville. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show
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11.00am NCIS: Los Angeles (x2) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Holidaymakers 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Driving School Of Mum And Dad 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.00 Futurama (x2) 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 12.00am Arrow 1.00 Critical
7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge Of The Fifth 7.30 Top Gear 8.30 Sherlock. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.35 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 American Dad! 11.40 Family Guy 12.00am Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment 12.30 Excluded: Kicked Out Of School (x3)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Inside The Medieval Mind 9.00 K2: The Killer Summit - Storyville 10.20 The Last Explorers 11.20 Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 12.25am London: A Tale Of Two Cities With Dan Cruickshank 1.25 Inside The Medieval Mind 2.25 Storyville
12.45pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.45 Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 Judge Rinder 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Sportstars 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Mom 9.30 Mom 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 FILM: Harold And Kumar Get The Munchies (2004) 12.35am Two And A Half Men (x2)
9.30am Judge Judy (x3) 10.50 Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Where The Heart Is 3.10 Wild At Heart 4.15 Never The Twain 4.50 On The Buses (x2) 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.05am See No Evil: The Moors Murders
3.30pm Melissa And Joey 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Goldbergs 8.00 Revenge 9.00 Made In Chelsea 10.00 Virtually Famous 10.55 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.55 Rude Tube 12.55am Brooklyn Nine-Nine
10.05am FILM: War Of The Worlds (1953) 11.50 Time Team (x2) 2.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 A Place In The Suny 10.00 24 Hours In A&E (x2) 12.10am 8 Out Of 10 Cats: Best Bits 1.00 A Place In The Sun 2.05 24 Hours In A&E
11.00am Eight O’Clock Walk (1954) 12.45pm The Malta Story (1953) 2.50 Dark Command (1940) 4.40 The Anderson Tapes (1971) 6.45 School Of Rock (2003) 9.00 The Bourne Legacy (2012) 11.40 Escape From Alcatraz (1979) 1.50am The Burning Plain (2008) 4.00 Close