Latest 7: No. 740 by Latest Homes

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★ ALBION ★ NEWS ★ FOOD & DRINK ★ ENTERTAINMENT ★ TV GUIDE ★ 4 – 10 August 2015

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ON THE BUSES And heading for the beach ANDREW KAY Heading for the big one

HEADS UP! Stephanie Cole heads up an all star cast for Alan Bennett’s Talking Heads at the Theatre Royal Brighton page 7

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Creative Director – Brightwave (Brighton & Hove) Head of Customer Success – Brightwave (Brighton & Hove) Web Developer – InFX Solutions Limited (Brighton & Hove) Programmer – Invest & Fund (St Leonards on Sea) Marketing Assistant – Invest & Fund (St Leonards on Sea) Digital Content Manager – The Bodyshop International (Littlehampton) Web Developer – St Paul’s Catholic College (Burgess Hill) Ruby Developer – Datanauts (Brighton & Hove) Senior Designer – Buzzword Creative (Chichester)

UX/UI Designer – needed for e-commerce website Freelance Illustrator – needed to create annual report Website build – for project management in the construction industry

An Introduction to Apache Cassandra – Wednesday 5 August, 7.00pm at The Skiff Digital Catapult Centre Brighton Business Breakfast – Friday 7 August, 9.00am at The FuseBox Creative, Digital & Tech Open Studios week – Tuesday 1 – Friday 4 September, various times & locations

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CONTENTS

HEADS UP HEADS DOWN The Andy Williams Christmas Spectacular Celebrate Christmas with a starstudded variety show, headlined by The Osmonds, and with special guests Jimmy Cricket and the Moon River Singers and Dancers. Assembly Hall, Worthing, 10 December 2015, from £30.50, 01903 206206, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

The Tubes The ‘70s & ‘80s most over the top rock band The Tubes are embarking on a 9-date tour. The band are known for their theatrical visual live performances, their quasipornography with outrageous satires of media, consumerism, and politics, epitomised by lead singer Fee Waybill’s deranged on-stage characters. Concorde2, Tuesday 4 August, £26.50, www.concorde2.co.uk

WE’VE MOVED HOUSE! Dear readers and advertisers, after 14 very happy years in New England House, the city’s friendliest creative hub, we have moved on to new premises. With the expansion of our business into television we are now at our centrally positioned TV Studio and venue. Our new address is: Latest 14 - 17 Manchester Street Brighton BN2 1TF

with Victoria Nangle

4 – 10 AUGUST

itting in the gardens of the Royal Pavilion on a particularly blustery day last week, I was busy multi-tasking, listening to a dramatised version of ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ on my iPlayer app whilst doing some last minute research for a radio pre-record on my pick of the things to do that week. It’s good to sit on the ground from time to time (although a blanket or cardi are acceptable too if it’s been a bit drizzly of late and you don’t want to get a damp backside). The thing was, I was sitting on the earth in one of the most idyllic places in the city completely, but I was switched off from it. I could vaguely hear the delicate finger-picking of the busker in front of an eruption of blooms, but really my attention was with James Bond and his growing relationship with the damaged young lady smuggler Tiffany Box. I was aware of a gathering of people on the pathway to the side of me, tourists marvelling and taking pictures of the ornate architecture and glimpses behind soft and delicately patterned curtains. But, to be honest, I just needed to concentrate on the small screen of my phone as I looked up what the latest offerings from the Brighton Dome, Komedia, and the Brighton Centre were, and didn’t look up. And then, out of the corner of my eye but close enough so that it really was something of a surprise, I saw something move. No more than a metre away was a squirrel. A digging squirrel clearly on the hunt for previously hidden treasures. Small paws making short work of breaking through the hard ground with absolute determination. I was so captivated I looked further, and behind my burrowing friend and saw a man tenderly hand-feeding a collection of pigeons. For the last fifteen minutes of my time there I was unplugged and eyes open. May I recommend it as a way of appreciating the little and large beauties this Summer. Diamonds in the rough.

Andrew Kay Andrew remembers bygone birthdays

Brighton Writes Joe Fuller talks classical; catch the Beach Bus!

Talking Heads Alan Bennett’s master soliloquies come to Theatre Royal Brighton

Latest People Uckfield’s hedgehog maternity ward; Qatar Pavilion; Burgess Hill School For Girls race the sun

Cook It! Andrew pops into Etch Pop-up

11 Hotlist Restaurants, cafes and takeaway listings 11 Mike Ward at Large Mike’s opinion on the BBC – if you push him 12 Entertainment News What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music in your city 14 Reviews & Chart What’s happening, and what we reckon! 15 TV Listings TV listings for the next seven days

Wednesday, August 5th, 2015 Action for Happiness Action for Happiness is a movement for positive social change. Doors 7.30 Show 8.00 Price Free

Friday, August 7th, 2015 Melting Vinyl presents… Samantha Crain + Benedict Benjamin + Laura and the Bass Doors 8.00 Price £8 / £10

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ANDREW KAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY Let’s not be a party pooper

n email has just pinged into my inbox announcing that a survey has shown that silly over-the-top kids’ birthday parties are a thing of the past. Well hooray for that. You might want to get your hankies out now – I only ever had one birthday party, when I was six. It was going to be such a fun affair, mum had made jellies and cakes, there were games – musical chairs and pass the parcel, we even borrowed the bench from the local fish and chip shop so that everyone could sit down for tea. My present was a tool kit and the highlight of the afternoon would be that everyone would get a turn at sawing a piece of wood – ah simple pleasures. Sadly though the whole thing went very wrong when my baby brother had some sort of a fit and had to be rushed off to hospital. It marked the start of a terribly poorly childhood for the little mite and it marked the end of birthday parties for us both. Now you can wipe away those tears, if they are for my lost party or for my sickly sibling, it does not matter. I agree with the email that arrived too, kids’ parties do seem to have got out of hand, major productions that cost an arm and a leg, bouncy castles, magicians, musicians, face painting, goodie bags, trips to the theatre,

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The highlight of the afternoon would be that everyone would get a turn at sawing a piece of wood bowling, theme parks, restaurants…. Whatever happened to a game of beat the kipper and a slice of jam and butter-cream filled sponge cake wrapped in a party napkin on your way out? The children of a good friend went to a party a few years back and they each came home with a brand new G–Shock watch, yes a pricey fashion watch that most of us, should we want one, would have to save up for or seriously consider whether we could afford the outlay. I am heading towards a big birthday. It’s no secret, in February I am going to be 60. That’s not a hint for you to start saving up, I really don’t want or need a G-Shock watch thank you. It does leave me wondering how to celebrate this momentous occasion. When I was 40 I threw a big bash in the dome room of what was the Sussex Arts Club and is now part of Hotel du Vin, there was wine, beer and food and a big Cèilidh band and caller. With over 100 guests it was a

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great gathering. My happiest memory is of me swinging my mum around as we stripped the willow and her shouting out that she had just been swung around by a priest in full clericals – and so she had! It was a marvelous evening and a fitting way to see out what had been the end of a bad period in my life. We danced until late, drank too much and laughed until our sides ached. I think that country dancing is the very best way to get diverse friends to mingle and that night proved it true. My fiftieth was a decent bash too, at home with plenty to drink and lots of my favourite food. I did the catering myself because my then partner said that I was too much of a control freak to be happy with anything anyone else might suggest or make. He was right and I spent the weekend cooking my socks off, which always makes me happy. Now it’s almost time for 60 and I really am undecided. I want to mark it, but do I want a big bash, or a quiet event with just a few really special friends? How do you decide that, how do you make that list and decide on where the cut off for special friends lies, and then for acquaintances? I was out with people I know recently and in a quiet moment one leaned over to me and said this: “We’re not really friends are we. We’re merely people who know each other.” I was surprised if not shocked, and I was upset too. I value my friends. I like to think that I value the people that I know too. This moment clarified in my mind one thing. If you really need to think about whether someone is a friend or not then they are probably not. So there you have it, there will be no bouncy castle or magician, there will be no goodie bags either, but what I hope there will be, no matter how large or small, is a gathering of true friends and not people who merely know me.

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Joe Fuller entertainment

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The BPO present an intimate chamber concert at Brighton Unitarian Church

Brighton & Hove Buses, the only way to travel This week: The Beach Bus

n the last few months alone I've seen some truly stunning shows for only £10-£15, including Benjamin Appl, Barbara Hannigan and the Britten Sinfonia, Huw Wiggin, Terry Riley's In C, Alice Coote and more. These were some of the most moving shows I've ever been to, with Appl particularly astounding me through the purity of his sublime baritone voice and an organic interplay with pianist James Baileu. Seeing performers live is the perfect way to open one's mind to the beauty, power and joyous musicality of classical music. Concerts can be intoxicating experiences even if one doesn't know the piece back to front or have an awareness about the more technical side of things. The aim of this column is to showcase the range of dazzling classical music on offer in and around Brighton, and also to discuss the background of composers and information on standout tracks. Hopefully people will be encouraged to try listening themselves and then attend some fantastic shows. On that note, there is an exciting concert this Sunday from the Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra at Brighton Unitarian Church (5pm, £15). This one is a chamber music concert, meaning that there won't be a full orchestra but there will be players from the BPO. Such shows are often intricate, beguiling affairs where you feel close to the action and get a closer look at the performers and how they play. There's usually no conductor so you also get a fascinating insight into how players direct proceedings themselves, often involving weighted glances, head nods, and sometimes even fullblown foot stomping. Barry Mills' 2007 String Quartet will open the show, a loose, modern piece with gliding strings and haunting flourishes. Mills gained a degree in Biochemistry and an MA in Music from Sussex University so it's good to have another local flavour in the concert. Barry Mills Gordon Jacob's Suite for Bassoon and String Quartet will follow, which is a thrilling and dark but accessible piece featuring layers of strings that might remind you of an underwater, slinking descent in some sort of surreal film I just imagined. The bassoon is a full, rich sounding instrument that adds some smooth tones to the sound world of the strings; it will surely be well played by the experienced Jonathan Price. The buoyant final movement has given Haydn's Quartet no. 3 in G minor the moniker 'The Rider' and it’s certainly a fun finale. Haydn is a huge figure in classical music. Initially seen as merely a precursor to Mozart (and accordingly nicknamed 'Papa Joe' by some), he has gradually been held in higher regard, credited with making big strides in harmony and melody as well as popularising the symphony and the string quartet. This programme is therefore finely balanced, with the Haydn a perfect introduction to the music of the Classical period and newer, stranger pieces so there’s something for everyone to enjoy. Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra, part of the Summer Chamber Music series, Brighton Unitarian Church, Sunday 9 August, £15, www.brightonticketshop.com

righton & Hove Bus Company has launched the Beach Bus, a flamboyant tribute to the city’s famously fun-packed seafront. The new bus is dedicated to Andy Durr, the muchmissed former Mayor, councillor and academic who masterminded Brighton's seafront revival. Unveiling the name plaque on the front of the bus, Andy's wife Carole Durr said: "I'm so happy Andy is being recognised in this way, and his legacy will live on. He would have loved the idea of his name being on a bus dedicated to the seafront – and he'd have been the first to get on it and go down to the beach!" This is the second in the Get Bus(y) series of Brighton-artistdesigned buses that celebrate the city's unique appeal, and the way buses help people to enjoy life here to the full. Nick Hill, Brighton & Hove Bus Company's Head of Commercial said: "Our buses play their part in helping people to have fun-filled days out – and we wanted to reflect that with this light-hearted tribute to the city's famous beach. We're sure it'll make heads turn and bring a smile to people's faces. And we're delighted that the Durr family have given us permission to dedicate it to Andy, with his passion for the seafront and his love of fun. I can't think of a more fitting person to have his name on this bus." The Beach Bus's big, bold images – including a giant 99 ice cream, massive sparkly sunglasses, and a monster-size seagull's head – are on a background of deckchair stripes, beach-hut colours and deco polka dots. Inside, iconic seaside images are everywhere – from fish and chips and fruit machines to swimming trunks and sticks of Brighton rock. There is more about Andy Durr at http://history.buses.co.uk/history/fleethist/489ad.htm

Seeing performers live opens one’s mind to the beauty and power of classical music

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The Beach Bus celebrates the city’s unique appeal, and the way buses help people to enjoy life here to the full

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HEADS UP!

h e c ov e n t th e c o v e r r

Alan Bennett’s hilarious & popular monologues come to Theatre Royal Brighton

alking Heads, the series of groundbreaking monologues which were originally filmed for television, helped Alan Bennett seal his reputation as the master of observation and brilliant comic phrasing. Later this month, Theatre Royal Brighton audiences will have a rare opportunity to see three of the original Talking Heads, at once darkly comic, poignant and uplifting. The pieces include: A Cream Cracker Under the Settee, originally nominated for three BAFTA awards, in which Stephanie Cole stars as Doris, a 75 year old widow who is obsessive about tidiness and maintaining her independence. In A Chip in the Sugar, Karl Theobald plays a devoted son whose life begins to unravel when he discovers his aging mother has taken up with an old flame.

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In A Lady of Letters, Siobhan Redmond plays the acerbic Miss Ruddock, who watches the world from behind her curtains and constantly dashes off letters expressing her illinformed opinions. Stephanie Cole is one of the UK’s best loved actresses, the winner of the Best TV Actress at the 1992 British Comedy Awards for Waiting For God and the Best Comedy Performance at the 2012 British Soap Awards for Coronation Street. Siobhan Redmond is best known for her TV appearances in Taggart, Between the Lines, Holby City and The High Life. Karl Theobald’s many TV appearances include his role in Green Wing. Multi award winning Alan Bennett is one of the UK’s best loved playwrights. His work includes The Madness of George III, The History Boys, The Lady in the Van, Enjoy and The Habit of Art. Don’t miss these modern classics on stage at Theatre Royal Brighton from Tuesday 11 – Saturday 15 August. Talking Heads, Tue 11 – Sat 15 Aug, Eves 7.45pm, Wed, Thu & Sat matinees 2.30pm, www.atgtickets.com/brighton 0844 871 7650 (bkg fees apply)

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LATEST PEOPLE WRAS’ new hedgehog maternity ward n Uckfield shed is being turned in a hedgehog maternity ward for local wildlife rescue charity East Sussex Wildlife Rescue & Ambulance Service (WRAS). Volunteer Kathy Martyn, WRAS’ Senior Carer, currently has two female hedgehogs with two litters of baby hedgehogs which have been born in her maternity ward and another female hedgehog who is expected to give birth in the next couple of weeks. The shed was donated by Skinners Shed, and WRAS currently only has basic hutches inside but she wants to kit the shed out properly as an official maternity ward. “When pregnant hedgehogs

Qatar Pavilion Goodwood Racecourse is marking its new association with Qatar at the Qatar Goodwood Festival with the installation of a stunning Qatar Pavilion. As well as providing a beautiful insight into the culture of Qatar, the pavilion will be decorated with 40,000 clove carnations, 4,000 of which guests are invited to take as a buttonhole. Designed and constructed by Real Studios – famous for their work on exhibitions such as the David Bowie show at the V&A – the Qatar Pavilion is both a sculpture and an outdoor space through which guests can experience a feel of Qatar culture, through artefacts, photography, video and sound. Says Real Studios director Yvonne Golds: 'We wanted to create a sophisticated structure

Racing the Sun If it were not for the unconventional time of day (or should that be night?) the drivers and residents of the South Downs would have been greeted by the sight of some tired ‘80s dancers, soldiers, and boys trekking across the hills. This was the 32nd annual Race The Sun event from Burgess Hill School for girls, where Lower Sixth students walk 14 miles in the dark in traditional fancy dress, following a route over countless hills, past sleepy sheep and finally arriving at Beachy Head for 4:45am to watch the sunrise. Each tutor group set off in the early evening with high spirits, climbing the first steep hill and admiring the beautiful view of Sussex at twilight. They were

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come in for care and we can’t get them back to the wild quickly enough due to treatment or an injury, they sometimes give birth in our care.” said Kathy. Hedgehogs as a general rule should never be out during the day time but occasionally pregnant mums will come out for a quick wander if they are feeling uncomfortable. If out repeatedly they may have a problem. Skinners Sheds very kindly donated the shed after Kathy’s own shed was too old to be converted. WRAS is now looking at installing new purpose built cages, heating, lighting and other equipment for looking after WRAS’s new maternity unit which is expected to cost around £4,000. “This new facility will really help us provide the best possible care

to these pregnant ladies and help ensure they have the best possible care and support whilst giving birth and rearing their young. To look after each family will cost around £250 in food, vets bills, medication and equipment.” Said Trevor Weeks MBE founder of

WRAS. Anyone wishing to make a donation to WRAS to help with the establishment of this new hedgehog maternity ward can do so by calling 01825 873003 or online at www.wildlifeambulance.org

that works as a piece of art, to reflect the prestige of the event, the rich cultural heritage of both partners and the beauty of Goodwood's setting. The pavilion's simple but poetic white exterior forms invite visitors inside into a rich, sensory world of Qatari culture, with the 35,000 carnations adding an uplifting texture as well as a gift.' Guests who wish to receive the gift of a buttonhole clove carnation will also be adding to the aesthetic of the Qatar Pavilion, as each flower removed will slowly reveal a welcome message in Arabic. Lord March said: ‘To mark Goodwood’s new relationship with Qatar, we have commissioned a structure and a space which will give guests a feel

for the culture and history of Qatar, whilst sitting perfectly with the unique and British surroundings of the Racecourse. Real Studios have produced an

installation which is not only visually very exciting, but allows guests to experience the sights and sounds of an extraordinary and beautiful country.’

given a number of questions to complete along the journey, as well as navigating the route themselves, despite bumpy paths and thick fog, not to mention the cold! However, the girls were not deterred even through the supposedly haunted Jevington Church or a few wrong turns, keeping up cheerful conversation and song until the early hours, aided by the manned checkpoints providing tea, coffee and snacks. While there were certainly a lot of aching legs and long lie-ins the next day, the experience was thoroughly memorable and certainly created a lot of happy memories – stargazing at midnight, watching cows sleeping in the fields at 1am, sitting eating wine gums by the roadside at 2am in a

brief moment of rest before moving on once again. There's no feeling quite like the sudden, surreal realisation that you're wandering the South Downs while everyone else sleeps. The satisfaction of walking the last few steps to Beachy Head is incomparable, especially getting to sit down and eat the breakfast Mrs

Marsh kindly served up while watching the first red tinge of the sun creep over the horizon. Race the Sun will no doubt be fondly remembered by all who took part for years to come, and it could not have happened without the dedicated staff observers, tutors, drivers and helpers who stood out in the cold all night!

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ANDREW KAY

finally was the most incredible confection of cherry and chocolate. A beautifully fruity parfait was matched to a glossy bitter chocolate ganache and decorated with stoned cherries that had been filled with a sharp yoghurt panacotta. It elicited

MASTERFUL

AK pops in to the tastebud popping Etch Pop-up ike a great many people I love to watch foodie TV and over the years, despite aversion therapy, I have remained irredeemably hooked on Materchef in its many forms. It goes back to the early days with Lloyd Grossman, covers the Torode and Wallace era, embraced wholeheartedly Michel Roux Jnr and thrills to Monica Galetti… You see, there I go, hooked – although this year the celebrity version left me cold, none of them seemed to reach any of the great culinary moments of previous celebs although Rylan did make me grin. Masterchef the Professionals is my favourite and a couple of years ago it was won by Steven Edwards, a chef I had already met when he won the Sussex Food Awards Young Chef of the year award, even then his talent was astonishing and he went on to become head chef at the Michelin starred Camellia at South Lodge. Whilst there he won Masterchef the Professionals and a year from then he finally left to forge a new path with chef partner Josh Stanzl. Together they have created Etch, a company that creates amazing private functions and pop up restaurants. Last week I spent the day with them in their development kitchen on Shoreham Beach, not on the beach itself of course. It was fascinating seeing them work together, the precision of their working method is inspiring but above all the dishes that they create are both delicious and unique. That night I joined them at Small Batch Coffee at the corner of Norfolk Square for a one night

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only pop up called the Etch Journey. Having seen the preparations of the day, only half of the actual work involved, and then the installation of their working kitchen into what is a coffee shop I could hardly wait to taste the results. For me it was a working dinner as I was actually filming them for a new Latest TV documentary, but I did get to eat every course – and I am very glad

It goes back to Lloyd Grossman, covers Torode and Wallace, embraced wholeheartedly Michel Roux Jnr and thrills to Monica Galetti… that I did. We started with an immaculate beetroot soup, deep, earthy then

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lifted by a morsel of scorched orange a layer of orange gel and an amazing horseradish icecream. Stunning stuff. Next came belly pork, slowly cooked for 24 hours, then pan fried and given a coffee glaze, yes, coffee and very good it was too, subtle but most definitely there. The accompanying creamy sweetcorn and sweet chilli popcorn added delightful contracts of both flavour and texture. The main was a piece of beautifully fresh stone bass, simply roasted and served on a bed of orzo with crab meat folded through it. The fish was amazing and so respectfully prepared that its true character sang out and it became clear that these guys are not just about weird combinations but about great ingredients perfectly served. Next out a fennel cheesecake, served in a jam jar, lid on. It was good, very good and had all the right cheesecake characteristics, but with that delicate fennel kick – what’s not to like. That was good – and in a way refreshing, which was good as the

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squeals of delight from around the room of diners who were, almost to a man thrilled by the extraordinary meal that we had just enjoyed. As I was there on official business I limited myself to one glass of Nyetimber , which was delicious – and finished with a very good coffee. No surprises there as Small Batch do make great coffee. To find out more about Etch go to their website at www.etchfood.co.uk Their next pop-up is at Nyetimber Vineyard, Saturday 22nd August

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HOT LIST Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit thelatest.co.uk BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN BARDSLEY’S Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

INDIAN THE CHILLI PICKLE The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national recognition which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample Thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, whilst the evening menu offers inventive street food, decadent Tandoori dishes and tasty regional curries, served in a vibrant and bustling setting. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011–14 and has retained its Michelin Bib Gourmand from 2010 to 2015. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

THE CHILLI PICKLE CANTEEN The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384

THAI STREET THAI Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444

ITALIAN

MIKE WARD AT LARGE

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FUTURE OF THE BBC wish people would stop ringing me up and asking for my thoughts on the future of the BBC. Radio stations, I mean, not random cold callers. I'm fine when they want me to come on air and bang on about, say, The X Factor or a controversial new drama or I'm Allegedly A Celebrity. That's a doddle. Likewise, when they want me to react to TV-related breaking news – e.g. "Val Doonican has died, Mike. Would you come on and give us some thoughts?", which they did only recently, or, likewise, "The chap who played Steed in The Avengers has passed away. Could you spare a few moments to talk about his career?" In those cases I can draw on my years of TVwatching experience and pay a suitably respectful tribute, even if, hand on heart, I can't, off the top of my head, think of much more than a sweet chap in a woolly jumper, singing pleasant songs while perched in a rocking chair, and a bowler-hatted gent who fought off baddies with his brolly. And then I just pray I don't get the two mixed up. But the future of the BBC? Don't ask me. I mean, seriously, there are people who pontificate full-time on where the BBC should be heading, funding and content-wise, and even they clearly haven't a clue. All I end up saying, if pushed, is there are aspects of the BBC, and some who work in the BBC bubble, that drive me bonkers. Hopeless producers, toe-curlingly dire presenters, publicists who seem on a mission to be as unhelpful as humanly possible. But they're the minority. Easily outweighing them are countless genuinely talented people. Plus, there are so many positive things the BBC offers that I'm genuinely scared about us losing them. Believe me, once they're gone, they're gone for ever. Its critics, of course, insist the licence fee is an outdated concept in the modern media age. They're probably right, but none of the alternative ideas have exactly had me yelling: "Of course, stupid me, that's the obvious solution!" They also reckon it should stop chasing ratings, as commercial sides do, but, come on, it's not as if it isn't doing its best in that respect. Have you actually watched Prized Apart..? But the politicians who knock the BBC are certainly right about one thing. Those responsible for its news coverage should remember it has a duty to be politically neutral. Still, that one's easily fixed: "And in an exclusive report for Newsnight, we reveal how politicians are all as bad as one another, just like your dad always said..."

There are people who pontificate full-time on where the BBC should be heading, funding and content-wise, and even they clearly haven't a clue

DONATELLO Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

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Kay STAGE Andrew

Follow me: @latestandrew

JESUS CHRIST! The rock musical that changed the face of West End and Broadway shows f you ever wondered where the modern stage musical was born then you need look no further than Jesus Christ Superstar. Some will argue that the change came with Lionel Bart, but his works, great as they are, are very much more conventional that Lloyd Webber and Rice’s first major hit. Launched originally on vinyl album, the public got to know the songs, very much pop hits, before the show finally opened. It was a new idea and one that worked well with iconic performances from stars like Ian Gillan, Murray head and Yvonne Elliman. Now a new and explosive new production of Jesus Christ Superstar, Rice and Lloyd Webber’s ground-breaking rock opera, is set to arrive at the Congress Theatre, Eastbourne from 8th-12th September. Starring Glenn Carter (Les Misérables, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Godspell) as Jesus, Tim Rogers (Whistle Down The Wind, West Side Story, Jersey Boys) as Judas Iscariot and former X-Factor finalist Rachel Adedeji (Thriller Live) as Mary Magdalene, this powerful musical tells the story of the last seven days in the life of Jesus through the eyes of Judas Iscariot. Beginning with the preparation for the arrival of Jesus and his disciples in Jerusalem and ending with the crucifixion, this retelling of the world’s oldest story focuses on Judas and his dissatisfaction with the direction Jesus is steering his disciples. The narrative follows imagined

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conflicting politics and interpersonal struggles between Judas and Jesus not told in the bible. This stunning new stage interpretation is just as compelling today as it was when it opened on Broadway in 1971. Featuring some of musical theatre’s most legendary songs including, I Don’t Know How To Love Him, Everything’s Alright, Gethsemane and Superstar. Jesus Christ Superstar at the Congress Theatre, Eastbourne from Tuesday 8 – Saturday 12 September. Tickets £18.50 - £38.50. Concessions, Under 16s and Group rates available. Book online at www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk or call Box Office on 01323 412000

The Sound of Silence Has it really been 50 years since the most successful folk/rock duo of all time recorded their first no1 hit single The Sound of Silence? Now you can enjoy all the tunes from ‘60s counter culture icons Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel in The Simon and Garfunkel Story at the Congress Theatre, Eastbourne for one night only on Monday 24 August. Following its West End success at the Leicester Square Theatre, London in February 2015, The Simon And Garfunkel Story is currently the biggest and the most successful no 1 touring theatre show celebrating the lives and career of folk/rock sensation Simon and Garfunkel. Featuring seasoned West End award-winning leading man Dean Elliott (Buddy Holly in Buddy - The

Musical) and a full cast of talented actor- musicians, this heartfelt show takes you back through the groovy times of the 1960s. It tells the story of both Paul and Art from their humble beginnings as Rock ‘n’ Roll duo 'Tom and Jerry', right through their massive success, dramatic break-up and finishing with a stunning recreation of the 1981 Central Park reformation concert. Using a huge projection screen, the show features 1960’s photos and film footage whilst a full live band perform all their hits including Mrs Robinson, Cecilia,

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Bridge Over Troubled Water, Homeward Bound, Sound of Silence and many more! With every performance creating a standing ovation, this is an evening not to be missed! See The Simon and Garfunkel Story at the Congress Theatre, Eastbourne on Monday 24th August, 7.30pm. Tickets £18 and £19.50. Book online at www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk or call Box Office on 01323 412000. For behind-the-scenes access and news of the latest shows to go onsale find EBTheatres on Facebook and Twitter

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COMEDY

Follow me: @latestvicky

MUSIC

Follow me: @latestjeff

Victoria Nangle

Jeff Hemmings

DAYS OUT FROM THE SEASIDE

SAMANTHA CRAIN

Just because we live right on the coast, don’t neglect taking days out to see great shows he sun is shining, the smaller venues in town (and some of the bigger ones too) have shut up shop for the month to take their holidays and scout around for the next season’s highlights, but that’s no excuse for you not to see some of the best shows around. All you need is a train ticket and a sense of adventure. This week you can hop over to Eastbourne and catch the Chatty Man himself, Alan Carr with his brand new show ‘Yap, Yap, Yap!’. The BAFTA and British Comedy Award winner is returning to his roots with a nationwide tour that will return to the South Coast with three dates at the Brighton Dome’s Concert Hall in November. Catch him early in the tour now and get the playful jester in full force with a spring in his step and material fresh to his heart. If you’re after more vintage material Richard Herring is spending his first August away from the Edinburgh Fringe running through every show he’s ever played up there over at the Leicester Square Theatre. From his early ‘Christ On A Bike’ show, through to ‘Twelve Tasks Of Hercules Terrace’, and on through the attention-grabbing ‘Hitler Moustache’, right up to ‘What Is Love Anyway?’ and his most recent and current show ‘Happy Now?’, it’s the full back catalogue with each tour represented by a single performance. Plus the other refugees from the Northern festival, including one exchange this week from Scotland’s enfant terrible Limmy performing ‘Daft Wee Stories’ on Thursday night. Take a look online for what might tickle your fancy further into the month too, there are some real gems. Bill Bailey has three nights running through a work in progress mid month, with tickets only priced at £15, up at the Leicester Square Theatre. Over in Eastbourne Joe Pasquale’s in town at the end of the month. In addition to this, if you fancy something really different make a note that the furry one of childhood years Basil Brush is popping up in Worthing on 21 August too. There’s plenty to tempt you up to the station and not too far away. Why not take a mini summer holiday and get away from the sea? Alan Carr – Yap, Yap, Yap!, Wednesday 5 August, 8pm, £32, Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk www.leicestersquaretheatre.com

WHAT’S ON Art: Teresa Winchester Teresa is a storyteller, and there is an element of magic narrative and a sense of the dream world in her prints, images that are created from imaginary worlds. Pelham House, St Andrews Lane, Lewes, 01273 488600. Until 11 Aug.

Art: Silver Stories An exhibition of digital stories and portraits of storytellers from six European countries. Portraits of

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The American singer songwriter has just released her fourth album orn and raised in Shawnee, Oklahoma, and of Choctaw (Native American) heritage, the 28 year-old Crain taught herself to play guitar and started writing songs based on her short stories, culminating in her debut release, The Confiscation EP: A Musical Novella, in 2007. Her third album, You (Understood), was released by the independent UK label Full Time Hobby in 2013, and staying with the same label, she's just released Under Branch & Thorn & Tree, a superb work that will surely bring her new fans. With an undertow of acoustic country folk, and powered along by a sturdy rhythm, uncomplicated, rhythm section, the album is also embellished with some gorgeous strings, and occasional use of effects and sounds. Crain's storytelling style is warm, open and engaging, often about the common man, in the vein of fellow-Oklahoman, Woody Guthrie. "I don't write protest songs in the traditional sense, but I'm always listening to the voices of people around me," says Crain. "These stories are told from the perspective of the underdog, the 99% of us that are working people. They might not be literal protest songs, but the lives of the people within these songs speak at the same volume if you listen." Recorded in San Francisco with John Vanderslice, the

warmth of the record partly emanates from the use of analogue tape: "We recorded straight to two-inch tape on a Studer 24-track machine and

the tellers, together with an explanation of why they told their story will accompany the twominute films. University of Brighton Gallery, Grand Parade, 01273 643010. 7-25 Aug.

Komedia, Friday 7 August, 11pm–3am, £4

Event: Ultimate Power Time to make a date dancing the night away to the big and the bold (and that’s just the hair!). Nothing but the greatest power ballads ever written, resulting in a night of pure euphoria!

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mixed down to 1/2-inch tape on an Ampex machine," says Crain. "The pre-amps were tube and we never used a computer. Our effects were done manually through tape looping and manipulation. Most of the arrangements happened in the moment, as we recorded. My guitar and vocals are all first or second takes.” Latest Musicbar, Fri 7 Aug, 8pm, £8

Event: 52 Tuesdays Picturehouse are delighted to welcome the film's director, Sophie Hyde, and lead actress, Tilda Cobham-Hervey to the cinema for a live Q&A after the screening. Duke’s@Komedia, Saturday 8 August, 6.30pm, £10/9

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under review

BETTER CALL SAUL

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

Saul, Glyndebourne, 23 July 2015★★★★★

Jimmy Cliff

“I bring peace and love” sang Jimmy Cliff in his opening number. It certainly felt like it in the packed concert hall of the Brighton Dome. People danced in the circle seats to ‘The Harder They Come’ and grown men burst into tears at ‘Many Rivers To Cross’. “I was around to name this music Ska” said Jimmy, launching into ‘King of Kings’, “and I’ll be around in 10,000 years!”. He and his eight-piece band Handel's dramatic oratorio could not have been in better hands than at Glyndebourne on the first night of this extraordinary new production. From the moment the lights gently rose to reveal the severed head of Goliath to the final curtain, the entire production was nothing short of breathtaking. Barry Kosky's production wrings every drop from the music, the singers, dancers, designer and choreographer to create a dramatic spectacle that has the audience gripped from the first note to the last. The Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment under Ivor Bolton are on shining form, the delicate layers of Handel's work unfolding to create moments of terrifying power and darkness. Lucy Crowe and Sophie Bevan soar above this with beautiful clarity and diction. Benjamin Hullet stalks the stage, a menacing presence throughout. American Paul Appleby sings the role of Jonathan with golden tones and a real sense of innocence and despair. Christopher Purves captures the crazed decline of Saul with skills that depend as much on great acting as singing, a stand that gives depth to this production and that once again shows that Glyndebourne is dedicated to a complete experience. Iestyn Davies once again shows that he is a counter tenor of stellar qualities, who better than he right now, and although his role as David is perhaps the least demanding dramatically, he makes it truly believable. The Chorus are on top form, powering through the mathematically precise score and complexities of the staging with the sure-footedness that we have come

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to expect and the dancers with their weirdly convincing choreography are as assured and effective. Designer Katrin Lea Tang's amazing designs create the perfect landscape in which the whole is played out, darkness balanced by wit, strangely timeless costumes that sever any hope of fixing this tale in a static age – and a Witch of Endor that draws gasps from an already enthralled audience. This is surely the jewel in the crown of the 2015 Glyndebourne Festival. Andrew Kay

Funny Women Semi Final The disarming Julie Jepson lead us on a merry romp through an eclectic showcase of promising comedic talent in the semi finals of this established competition. Ranging from sketch to characterbased comedy, right through to the musical as well as straight up stand-up. This sold out show attracted a very enthusiastic and participatory crowd culminating in a high energy interactive set from the incomparable Tessa Waters and her ‘walk of glory’. This night is known for bringing up and coming, high calibre comic acts to our wider attention, they did not disappoint. Watch out for semi-final winner Jane Postlethwaite with her creepy comedic charm! Komedia, 24 July 2015 Enna Andrews ★★★★

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20 Another week and another great music chart for you! Listen online to get your favourite to the top and to submit your own tracks.

1 Junkyard Choir Get It On 2 Slipp Electro ft Osaro It’s Lifting Me (Remix) 3 Rise Of The Ziggurat The Battle 4 Dirty Weekend in Brighton Dirty Weekend in Brighton 5 The Black Fields The Fighter 6 The Speak Diggin a hole 7 Sweet Jonny American Psycho 8 George Foster Your Love 9 Junkyard Choir Sun Moon Stars 10 Trilby New Shoes

brought such joy, a sense of community, and a love for the music. No doubt people will still be feeling it in 10,000 years’ time. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 21 July 2015 James Holland ★★★★★

George Benson With classic Stevie Wonder, hot Latin Funk and a couple of million selling love songs delivered with panache in the first half hour, it was clear the jazz-soul legend was here to deliver. A tight band allowed George to fly as he scatted to his own guitar solos and stretched his jazz chops on a dazzling vocal duet with percussionist Lilliana De Los Reyes. No song introductions were required for this greatest hits set and from a fresh-sounding 40-yearold ‘Breezin’ through dance classics to a triumphant encore of ‘On Broadway’, this was a non-stop celebration of a legend’s finest. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 22 July 2015 Steve Clements ★★★★★

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on Freeview channel 8,

11 Dirty Weekend in Brighton ‘Frankie’ 12 Dirty Weekend in Brighton Ben Sherman (Style man from Brighton) 13 The Mice Beauty Queen 14 The Last Cry Rebekka 15 tenek No Time For Fighting (Jab Edit) 16 Mellor Drumatix Cafe Del Mellor 17 Swarf Parlour Tricks 18 Dirty Weekend in Brighton Dirty Weekend in Brighton 19 The Speak You Say 20 MIGHT Help

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TUESDAY 4 Are Our Kids Tough Enough? Chinese School BBC2, 9pm Is the Chinese method of teaching, with long hours and ultra-competitive stylings better than our homegrown education? There’s only one way to find out... not a fight. Five teachers come over from China to teach 50 teenagers for four weeks. Rude awakenings abound.

Hunt For The Arctic Ghost Ship Channel 4, 9pm Last year a multi-million dollar expedition discovered possibly the find of the century in the form of the Victorian ship HMS Arctic, upright and on the sea floor. This Secret History documentary has exclusive access behind the scenes as the 150 year old mystery unfolds.

Life Begins Now BBC3, 9pm More education, this time at Derwin College in Shropshire following six students as they prepare to graduate and enter the real world. Jon, Aled and Aled have been best mates forever, united by their Downs Syndrome, their mischief and – of course – girls. Will friends stay close without the classroom?

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Cuppa TV 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Cuppa TV 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Novel Ideas 2.00 Behind The Science 2.30 Collapse The Box 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Reel 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Cuppa TV Show for women about health, fitness, lifestyle and raising a young family. 7.00 Best of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Behind The Science Dr Heather Cegla visits the Movement Innovation Lab in Queen’s University, Belfast to talk to Professor Cathy Craig. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 Novel Ideas The novelist Tony Macaulay interviews the novelist Tara West. 10.00 Bookenders Author Laura Lockington rummages around in the lives and books of two best-selling authors 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Brighton Album Chart Show A new concept in TV charts. 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Behind The Science 3.00 Latest News 3.30 Novel Ideas 4.00 Bookenders 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 5.30 Under The Radar

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Close Calls: On Camera 11.30 Heir Hunters 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 TV That Made Me 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Rip Off Britain: Food Gloria Hunniford, Angela Rippon and Julia Somerville investigate the truth about our food in a series exposing everything from the secrets of the supermarkets to the reality of what is behind the labels. The team reveal the unexpected dangers lurking in some foods imported from overseas. 7.30 EastEnders Vincent finds himself in a dangerous situation, forcing Kim to make a decision about their relationship. Roxy finds herself caught between Dean and Ronnie. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Hospital drama. An uncompromising Mo decides Fletch’s fate. Oliver oversteps the mark with Zosia. Throwing himself into work, is Jesse avoiding his true feelings for Adele? 9.00 New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric bunch of expolicemen, brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Transplant Tales Transplant Tales. 11.35 FILM: Then She Found Me (2007) Starring Helen Hunt, Colin Firth, Bette Midler, Matthew Broderick. Comedy drama. 1.10am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.15 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Close Calls: On Camera 7.30 Heir Hunters 8.15 The House That £100k Built 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Coast 12.05 World War One - Beyond The Trenches 12.30 Railways Of The Great War With Michael Portillo 1.00 The Rockford Files 1.50 Cash In The Attic 2.35 Yes, Minister 3.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 3.30 Are You Being Served? 4.00 Swimming: World Championships 6.00 Two Tribes Richard Osman presents the fast-paced quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 7.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Cookery series. The Hairy Bikers arrive in Thailand. In Bangkok, they enjoy a night out exploring the street food capital of the world. 7.30 Great British Menu Creative culinary competition. 8.00 The House That £100k Built Jo’ann and Andy are attempting to not only build a home from scratch for less than £100k, but also one that will never produce a heating or electricity bill! Building a low cost home with such high eco credentials means something has to give. Piers takes them to an award-winning ecohome in Nottingham. 9.00 Are Our Kids Tough Enough? Chinese School See highlights. 10.00 Hair Ten hair enthusiasts hope they’ve got what it takes to win the title of Britain’s best amateur hairstylist. Hosted by Katherine Ryan. It’s the grand final and the three finalists are heading backstage at London’s funkiest wedding fayre. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Back In Time For Dinner Historical cooking show. 12.05am Sign Zone: Don’t Tell The Bride 1.05 Sign Zone: Great Ormond Street 2.05 Sign Zone: A Deadly Warning: Srebrenica Revisited

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News 11.00 This Morning 12.30pm Guess This House 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Hello Campers 5.00 Freeze Out

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale It is Debbie and Pete’s wedding day. Cain is asked to sort out Ross. Chrissie sees red. 8.00 Love Your Garden Alan Titchmarsh and the team present the makeover show, transforming unloved spaces into dream gardens for some very special people. This week, Alan and his dedicated team are in the sleepy town of Wiveliscombe. 9.00 Abducted It is every parent’s worst nightmare - to discover that their child has been abducted and smuggled overseas. In these cases the perpetrator is not an anonymous stranger but a close relative and often it is the other parent of the child. In the UK a child is taken away by a parent or family member every 12 hours. We follow three parents on emotional journeys as they desperately try to get their children back from countries around the world. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Benidorm Comedy set in the titular holiday resort. Gavin discovers that Troy is apparently cheating on him. The Oracle’s tall tales get him in trouble with the police. 11.40 Murder, She Wrote Detective drama series. 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 Don’t Blow The Inheritance 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Simpsons 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me Abroad 1.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 French Collection 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sienna and Nico struggle to hold it together in the aftermath of a horrific event, but little do they know there is worse to come. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Three Day Nanny Reality series following experienced nanny Kathryn Mewes, who deals with the nation’s troublesome children. The Hunter family in Bournemouth call in Kathryn to help with their bossy three-year-old daughter Florence. Mum Ruth is running around after Florence all day and simple tasks like hair brushing turn into protracted battles, while dad Andy is so besotted with Florence that he will do anything to keep her happy. 9.00 Hunt For The Arctic Ghost Ship See highlights. 10.00 Not Safe For Work Comedy drama series set in the Civil Service. A week after the presentation, the department is still awaiting news on its fate. 10.50 A Very British Brothel Documentary. 11.50 Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure 12.50am KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.15 Gillette World Sport 1.45 Mobil 1 The Grid 2.10 National Paralympic Day 3.05 Double Your House For Half The Money 4.00 You Deserve This House 4.55 River Cottage Bites 5.10 Fifteen To One

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Secret Liaison (2013) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Alf is furious when he discovers that John is organising the surf carnival behind his back and takes back the reigns, managing to upset everyone in the process. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Police Interceptors Observational crime documentary series as Lincolnshire’s elite highspeed law enforcement teams chase after villains and dodgy motorists. 8.00 The Dog Rescuers With Alan Davies Documentary series following the work of RSPCA officers. 9.00 Can’t Pay? Benefits Special Documentary series about people who have fallen into debt and those tasked with recovering the money and evicting defaulters. Special edition, part of the Britain on Benefits Season. 10.00 Botched Up Bodies Documentary series about people whose cosmetic surgery went disastrously wrong. Danielle plumped for implants and an uplift, but her boobs ended up uneven and the nipples rotting. 11.00 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole Documentary series exploring the reality of life on benefits. 12.00am Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 The Holiday Airport: Sun, Sea And Scousers 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 Great Artists 4.50 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

8.00am Glee 9.00 The Flash 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Flash 4.00 The Simpsons (x4) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 FILM: Cellular (2004) 10.50 Strike Back: Legacy (x2) 12.50am Hawaii Five-0 (x4)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Life Begins Now. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 Life Begins Now 1.25 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.55 Disabled In An Instant

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (x2) 8.30 Hive Minds 9.00 The First Georgians: The German Kings Who Made Britain 10.00 Climbing Everest With A Mountain On My Back 11.00 Precision: The Measure Of All Things 12.00am Byzantium: A Tale Of Three Cities 1.00 Hive Minds

12.10pm Emmerdale 12.40 Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 Judge Rinder 3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen 10.00 Hell’s Kitchen 11.00 Celebrity Juice: Keith’s Birthday Party 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.45am Fake Reaction

9.50am Judge Judy (x3) 11.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Royal 3.15 Wild At Heart 4.15 In Loving Memory 4.50 Doctor At Large 5.25 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Wycliffe 11.05 The Vice 12.45am Agatha Christie’s Marple

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 FILM: Night At The Museum 2 (2009) 10.00 Tattoo Fixers 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am Gogglebox

12.55pm Time Team 2.00 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 The Restoration Man 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 10.00 Kevin McCloud’s Escape To The Wild 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10 Selling Houses

11.00am Five Children And It (2004) 12.55pm King Kong (1976) 3.45 Imagine That (2009) 6.05 The Karate Kid (2010) 9.00 The Five-Year Engagement (2012) 11.25 The Breakfast Club (1985) 1.25am Tiny Furniture (2010) 3.35 Close

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WEDNESDAY 5 Kirstie’s Fill Your House For Free Channel 4, 8pm Is your home feeling old and drab? Fear not, dear reader. Kirstie Allsop is at hand, sourcing furniture for free, upcycling and customising, from the sitting room to the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. Ta da! Pick up a few ideas and you might even create a sideline for yourself.

Wentworth Prison Channel Five, 10pm What’s the pits, when you’re banged up in an Aussie prison, is being threatened with a severe beating if you don’t find a new way to source the supply of drugs getting into the slammer. Poor Franky’s at her wits ends. Poor mite. Meanwhile Bridget learns about Ferguson’s nocturnal visits to solitary.

FILM: Napoleon Dynamite Film4, 7.10pm This low energy indie cult classic is a sweet treat as a snapshot of high school, without the saccharine of Disney. Jon Heder is Napoleon, a listless outsider for whom life is never FAIR (insert your own teenage whine here), who decides to help his friend be elected for class president with snazzy t-shirts n’ tings.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Cuppa TV 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Cuppa TV 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Bethanie Lunn: Fast Style 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Bookenders 2.00 Novel Ideas 2.30 Collapse The Box 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Cate Ferris: Live At The Latest 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates. 6.30 Post Feature All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 7.00 Best of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights. 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 The Easy Riders Danny JohnJules, Steve Keys Matt Roberts slip into their pink leathers, jump on their bikes and set off on their epic voyage from the UK to Valencia. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 F-Stop A showcase for the best film makers, animators and video artists in the East Midlands. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 11.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton Nick Coquet’s misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round. 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 The Easy Riders 3.00 Latest News 3.30 F-Stop (x2) 4.30 Latest News 5.00 On The Verge 5.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Close Calls: On Camera 11.30 Heir Hunters 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 TV That Made Me 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming A look at the work of high court enforcement officers, also known as sheriffs, as they strive to retrieve cash for members of the public that are owed money. Sheriffs Craig and Tommy have to turn detective to get the money owed to a customer by a car dealer, and a pub is ripe for redevelopment but everything is on hold - because squatters have moved in. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 The Great British Bake Off Ten home bakers take part in a bakeoff to test their baking skills and battle to be crowned best amateur baker. 9.00 Earth’s Natural Wonders Coo! Looks brilliant! 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Cashing In Documentary series charting a year in the lives of staff and customes at Cash Converters, the the biggest secondhand retailer and pawnbroker in the world. 11.35 Britain At The Bookies Documentary examining the winners and losers in Britain’s gambling revolution. 12.35am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.40 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Close Calls: On Camera 7.30 Heir Hunters 8.15 See Hear 8.45 Antiques Roadshow Detectives 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Britain’s First Photo Album 12.30 Railways Of The Great War With Michael Portillo 1.00 The Rockford Files 1.50 Cash In The Attic 2.35 Yes, Minister 3.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 3.30 Are You Being Served? 4.00 Swimming: World Championships 6.00 Two Tribes Richard Osman presents the fast-paced quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Quiz show. 7.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Cookery series. The Hairy Bikers travel to the beaches of the south and the mountains of the north to discover how Thailand’s multicultural history and its place at the heart of the spice trade has created a rich and varied cuisine. 7.30 Great British Menu Creative culinary competition. 8.00 Horizon: The Trouble With Space Junk Horizon reveals the scale of the problem of space junk, with first-hand accounts from astronauts and experts. 9.00 Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Inside The Post Office Black and white cats are compulsory for all postal workers. Honest, guv! 10.00 QI Quiz show. Stephen Fry looks at knees, knockers and other things starting with ‘K’. With Sara Pascoe, Jack Whitehall, David Mitchell and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. 11.05 Back In Time For Dinner Historical cooking show. 12.05am Sign Zone: See Hear 12.35 Sign Zone: Trust Me, I’m A Doctor 1.35 Sign Zone: Alex Polizzi: Chefs On Trial

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale There is devastation at the wedding. Emergency services are called. 7.30 Coronation Street Carla confides in Nick just how much she has gambled away. 8.00 Foyle’s War Three-part series set in the era of the Cold War. Foyle is told by the head of MI5 that eminent art historian Professor Van Haren is actually a high-ranking Nazi whose real name is Karl Strasser. MI5 are protecting him because he is a valuable intelligence asset, but someone is now trying to kill him and he wants Foyle to investigate. Arthur Valentine makes it clear that he neither likes the man nor agrees with the decision to give him a new identity. After a meeting with Foyle, Van Haren accuses him of not taking his allegations seriously, but he returns to his boarding house to find a sinister dried sunflower on his pillow. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Abducted It is every parent’s worst nightmare - to discover that their child has been abducted and smuggled overseas. 11.40 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz show. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 Ejector Seat 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Simpsons 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me Abroad 1.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 French Collection 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sienna fights to keep her cool as Trevor has put her in the firing line, but will Nico crumble under the pressure? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Kirstie’s Fill Your House For Free See highlights. 9.00 One Born Every Minute Flyon-the-wall documentary series from Liverpool Women’s Hospital. A brave mother is prepared to risk her own life to have the big family she has always craved. 10.00 Witnesses The atmospheric French thriller continues. Sandra Winckler and Paul Maisonneuve discover more carefully arranged corpses at a new show home location. Clues are uncovered that place Paul’s family in danger. As the race is on to track down Kaz Gorbier and his accomplices, Sandra grows increasingly suspicious of her new partner. 11.10 Married Behind Bars Documentary following three American brides-to-be who have decided to tie the knot while their other halves are serving time in prison. 12.10am Music On 4: Four To The Floor 12.35 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic 1.35 24 Hours In A&E 2.30 FILM: Mona Lisa Smile (2003) 4.30 River Cottage Bites 4.40 Fifteen To One 5.35 Draw It!

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Bop Box 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away: Final Demand 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Flirting With Danger (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ash makes his way to the safehouse and finds Brax waiting for him. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Trauma Doctors: Every Second Counts Observational documentary series. 8.00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door Documentary series about Britain’s feuding neighbours, using CCTV footage and material from victims’ own cameras. Gillian abused the Howard family’s friendship by using their house as a drunken crash pad and even defecated on their bathroom floor. 9.00 Undercover Benefits Cheat Reality series in which investigative reporter Paul Connolly goes undercover to expose those try to cheat the system, and the criminals who provide them with everything they need to get away with it. 10.00 Wentworth Prison See highlights. 11.00 Gypsies On Benefits And Proud A one-off special lifting the lid on one of Britain’s biggest controversies - immigrants who come to the UK to milk the benefits system. 12.00am Benefits: My Big Benefits Family 12.55 SuperCasino 3.10 65 Stone & Trapped In My House: Supersized 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

8.00am Glee 9.00 The Flash 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Flash 4.00 The Simpsons (x4) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Desi Rascals 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00am NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Boy Who Wants His Leg Cut Off 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 People Just Do Nothing 10.30 Bad Education 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 People Just Do Nothing 1.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.00 Bad Education

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 British Gardens In Time 9.00 Buddha: Genius Of The Ancient World 10.00 Natural World: The Real Jungle Book Bear 11.00 Treasures Of Chinese Porcelain 12.00am British Gardens In Time 1.00 Byzantium: A Tale Of Three Cities

12.10pm Emmerdale 1.15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 Judge Rinder 3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Derailed (2005) 11.10 Celebrity Juice 11.55 Safeword 12.40am Two And A Half Men (x2)

2.20pm Wild At Heart 4.20 In Loving Memory 4.55 Doctor At Large 5.25 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Cornwall With Caroline Quentin 8.30 Richard Wilson On The Road 9.00 Long Lost Family 10.00 Blue Murder 11.00 The Vice 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Marple

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Jane The Virgin 10.00 Nashville 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Gogglebox (x2)

12.55pm Time Team 2.00 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 The Restoration Man 7.55 The World’s Weirdest Weather 9.00 Four Rooms 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 11.10 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10 Four Rooms

11.00am Toys (1992) 1.20pm The Spy Next Door (2010) 3.05 Castle Of Cagliostro (1979) 5.10 Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging (2008) 7.10 Napoleon Dynamite (2004). See highlights. 9.00 XMen: First Class (2011) 11.35 Everything Must Go (2010) 1.30am Sweeney Todd (2007)

017_LS740_TV_thu_L7wed14apr.qxd 31/07/2015 13:11 Page 1

THURSDAY 6 Flockstars ITV1, 8.30pm Anyone remember watching ‘One Man And His Dog’? Ever think you’d see Fazer from N-Dubz taking part? Brain blown. Gabby Logan hosts this new quest to find Britain’s best celebrity sheep herder. Unmissable. Other celebs learning how to whistle for thier dogs include Tony Blackburn and Leslie Joseph.

Sex In Class Channel 4, 9pm British teens have it difficult. With teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases amongst the highest in Western Europe, and for the first time a generation is partly getting their sex education from porn, this doc recruits Belgian sexologist and UN Goodwill Ambassador for sexual health Goedele Liekens to help.

The Unbreakables: Life & Love On Disability Campus BBC3, 9pm Exploring life on campus at National Star College in Gloucestershire, a further education college for people with physical disabilities, acquired brain injuries and associated learning difficulties. What do top facilities mean? Top freedoms! Follow this year’s freshers.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Cuppa TV 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Cuppa TV 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Brighton HiLights 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Film Live Academy 2.00 Arts Alive Short Film: Jon's Big Issue 2.30 Talk Like That 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 6.30 Burn Up With Natalie Personal trainer Ntalie Golland give viewers a fitness workout. 7.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls weekly show with Latest Sport. Featuring news about all the squads and competitions. Classic games from the club's archives and much more. 10.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 11.00 Cate Ferris: Live At The Latest: Cate Ferris The amazing Cate Ferris filmed live at the Latest MusicBar in Brighton. 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Albion Night 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Cate Ferris: Live At The Latest

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Close Calls: On Camera 11.30 Heir Hunters 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 TV That Made Me 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Fake Britain Dominic Littlewood reveals the extent of fake goods in the UK. 7.30 EastEnders Carol’s world continues to crumble, and she soon finds herself causing a scene in front of her friends. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Traffic Cops Documentary series following the police as they enforce the law on some of Britain’s busiest and most dangerous roads. 9.00 Death In Paradise Detective drama series. When a British policeman is found murdered in a locked room on the tiny paradise island of Saint-Marie, Detective Inspector Richard Poole is sent to investigate. He’s the perfect man to solve the case. Unfortunately for Richard, he hates sun, sea and sand. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Teen Model Factory: Reggie Yates’ Extreme Russia In the last of three programmes revealing the extreme side of Russia, Reggie Yates joins international scouts as they board the Trans-Siberian railway and cross Siberia looking for the freshest new faces to model in the west. 11.35 Operation Wild Veterinary science series. 12.35am Holiday Weatherview 12.40 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Close Calls: On Camera 7.30 Heir Hunters 8.15 Coast 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Britain’s First Photo Album 12.30 Railways Of The Great War With Michael Portillo 1.00 The Rockford Files 1.50 Cash In The Attic 2.35 Yes, Minister 3.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 3.30 Are You Being Served? 4.00 Swimming: World Championships 6.00 Two Tribes Quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Quiz show. 7.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Cookery series. Dave and Si discover the ultimate sushi at Tokyo’s famous fish market and have the rare privilege of spending time in a sumo stable where they take part in a wrestling bout. 7.30 Great British Menu Creative culinary competition. 8.00 Coast Coast takes on nature at its most perilous in the wild British waters. Nick Crane travels to the north east coast - one of Britain’s most hazardous - and discovers why it became the ‘cradle of lifesaving’. 9.00 Atlantic: The Wildest Ocean On Earth Three-part documentary about the Atlantic ocean. In the vast south Atlantic, huge pods of dolphins, massive penguin colonies and the largest gathering of marine mammals on Earth pack chains of extraordinary islands, created by powerful volcanic forces far below them. 10.00 Javone Prince Show A mix of stand-up comedy, live music and sketches. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Back In Time For Dinner Historical cooking show. 12.05am Sign Zone: Panorama 12.35 Sign Zone: Melvyn Bragg: Wigton To Westminster 1.50 Sign:One: Imagine... Jeff Koons: Diary Of A Seducer

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Will the death toll rise? Villagers are still in danger. 7.30 Real Stories With Ranvir Singh Ranvir Singh and Michael Underwood go behind the headlines and explore universal issues as they tell the unique stories of people involved in extraordinary, lifechanging events. 8.00 Emmerdale The devastation is apparent. Sad news spreads. There is blood on someone’s hands. 8.30 Flockstars See highlights. 9.00 The Wonder Of Britain Series in which Julia Bradbury uncovers some of the wonders that make Britain great. In this episode, Julia follows our stunning coastline, which stretches over 19,000 miles. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Carl Froch: Sports Life Stories The sports documentary series looks at the life of boxer Carl Froch who, as he nears retirement looks back on some of the biggests fights of his career. 11.40 Murder, She Wrote Jessica investigates the attempted murders of a legendary Broadway actress and her talented daughter who are due to star in a new musical production. 12.40am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Lie Detector

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Simpsons 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me Abroad 1.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 French Collection 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks A jealous Kim fumes as Grace and Trevor look set to get their happy ever after. Meanwhile, Dr S’Avage delivers some crushing news to Patrick. Jason and Robbie make amends, but can Jason keep his brother on the right path? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Location, Location, Location Property advice series with Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer. They are in Cambridgeshire helping Chris and Louise find their dream home in a rural setting, while also trying to find a suitable property in Cambridge for a pair of doctors who are first time buyers. 9.00 Sex In Class See highlights. 10.00 999: What’s Your Emergency? Documentary series. This programme follows underpressure ambulance staff across the country, and features interviews with paramedics, call handlers and patients. 11.00 24 Hours In Police Custody Documentary series following Bedfordshire police officers from the cells at Luton Police Station to the heart of major crime investigations. 12.00am One Born Every Minute 12.55 The Tribe 1.50 The Auction House 2.45 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 3.40 Double Your House For Half The Money 4.40 Fifteen To One 5.30 Draw It!

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Gracie’s Choice (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Phoebe delivers the news of Brax’s death to Andy and Josh, who both lash out and refuse to talk about their feelings. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Cricket On 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the first day’s play in the fourth Test between England and Australia at Trent Bridge. 8.00 The Holiday Airport: Sun, Sea And Scousers Documentary series about the staff and customers of an international airport. 9.00 Supersized: No Fatties Allowed Documentary series exploring obesity from different perspectives. From being ridiculed online to shouted at in the street, supersized people relate their experiences of public abuse suffered due to their size. The programme also meets those who openly declare that fat is repugnant and preventable. 10.00 Person Of Interest Drama. The team gets involved in a case of international politics when a former government contractor stalks a UN diplomat. 10.55 Person Of Interest Drama series. Reese and Shaw come under fire while posing as classmates at a high school reunion. 11.55 Access Showbiz news. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Weather Terror 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

9.00am The Flash 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Flash 4.00 The Simpsons (x4) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 OAP Internet Virgins 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Glee 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 12.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 The Unbreakables: Life & Love On Disability Campus. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 The Unbreakables: Life & Love On Disability Campus ng

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Concerto At The BBC Proms: Colin Currie Plays Gruber 8.45 Britain’s Wild Places: Ravens Return 8.55 Pop Go The Sixties 9.00 Doris Day: Virgin Territory 10.00 Britain And The Sea 11.00 Horizon: What’s Wrong With Our Weather? 12.00am What Makes Us Clever? A Horizon Guide

1.15pm Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 Judge Rinder 3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! 7.35 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 10.00 Safeword 10.45 Celebrity Juice: The Normal Special 11.30 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.25am Safeword

9.40am Judge Judy (x3) 11.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Royal 3.15 Where The Heart Is 4.20 In Loving Memory 4.50 Doctor At Large 5.25 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Endeavour 10.00 Blue Murder 11.00 The Vice 12.40am Agatha Christie’s Marple

3.00pm Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 New Girl 9.30 The Mindy Project 10.00 Rude Tube: 200% Cats 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Gogglebox (x2)

10.50am FILM: The Truth About Spring (1965) 12.55pm Time Team 2.00 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 The Restoration Man 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Kirstie And Phil’s Love It Or List It 10.00 24 Hours In A&E 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am The Love Bug (1968) 1.10pm City Of Ember (2008) 3.00 Just Wright (2010) 5.00 Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992) 7.20 Bride Wars (2009) 9.00 The Impossible (2012) 11.10 Wanted (2008) 1.20am Stop Loss (2008) 3.35 Close

Now available on:

thelatest.tv Channel 8

Channel 159

018_LS740_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 31/07/2015 13:11 Page 1

FRIDAY 7 Celebrity Fifteen To One Channel 4, 8pm Adam Hills proves that he’s clever in all surroundings as he steps away from behind his Last Leg desk and hosts this celebrity edition of the general knowledge knockout quiz. Celebrities include Sean Lock, Kay Burley, Alex James, Joe Lycett and Hugh Dennis. Feel smug on the sofa as you outsmart them all.

The Best Of Bad TV: The 90s Channel Five, 9pm Before the pubs stayed open into the wee small hours, before clubbing became a more affordable thing to do regularly, there was such a thing as postpub telly. And it was bad. Gloriously bad. The 90s had other bad TV gems too, such as the sitcom ‘Heil Honey, I’m Home’. Really happened. Tune in.

Friday Night At The Proms: Seth MacFarlane Sings Sinatra BBC4, 10.15pm Currently riding high in the box office charts in Ted 2, Seth MacFarlane celebrates the 100th birthday year of Ol’ Blue Eyes in the Royal Albert Hall as he joins the John Wilson Orchestra to warble a few dazzling Sinatra standards. His way.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Cuppa TV 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Cuppa TV 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Behind The Science 2.00 Another World Is Possible (x2) 3.00 Latest TV's Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Floor 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss this week’s stories in the press. 7.00 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life by searching YouTube and getting the views of guests and the general public. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics and the upcoming key elections for our future. 8.30 Best of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 9.00 Double Or Nutin' Pilot lookielikey comedy from the US. 9.30 Bored Gamers Redux The very best highlights from series one of Bored Gamers, a funny and irreverent look at video and adult board gaming. 10.00 Modern Toss (x2) Comedy animation and live action series. 11.00 Noise Reel 11.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 On The Verge 2.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 3.00 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show 3.30 Bored Gamers Redux 4.00 Modern Toss (x2) 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Close Calls: On Camera 11.30 Heir Hunters 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 TV That Made Me 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Animal Super Parents Documentary. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders A riled Vincent attempts to get his life back on track but soon finds himself in a compromising situation. 8.30 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon hosts the award-winning comedy panel show with David Mitchell and Lee Mack as the lightning-quick team captains. This time, the guests are Bob Mortimer, Gabby Logan, Katherine Parkinson and Steve Backshall. 9.00 Ripper Street Long live Ripper Street, Viva Ripper Street, C’est manifique... wrong theme tune. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Room 101 - Extra Storage Frank Skinner hosts the panel show as comedian Jack Dee, footballerturned-presenter Gary Lineker and actress Fay Ripley compete to have their hates banished. 11.15 FILM: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) Starring Robert De Niro, Kenneth Branagh, Tom Hulce, Helena Bonham Carter, Ian Holm, John Cleese. Faithful adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Gothic novel of fear and revenge. 1.15am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Close Calls: On Camera 7.30 Heir Hunters 8.15 Gardeners’ World 8.45 Nigel Slater: Eating Together 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Britain’s First Photo Album 12.30 Railways Of The Great War With Michael Portillo 1.00 The Rockford Files 1.50 Cash In The Attic 2.35 Yes, Minister 3.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 3.30 Are You Being Served? 4.00 Swimming: World Championships 6.00 Two Tribes Quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Quiz show. 7.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Cookery series. 7.30 Great British Menu Creative culinary competition. 8.00 Mastermind Four contestants are interrogated on a chosen subject, plus a general knowledge round, in the famous black chair, to compete for the grand title of Mastermind. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. 9.00 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice Sister series to The Great British Bake Off, in which Jo Brand is joined by three celebrity fans to take a look at the most recent episode, with interviews and unseen footage. 9.30 Rick Stein From Venice To Istanbul Rick Stein embarks on a new gastronomic road trip from Venice to Istanbul through the countries of the former Byzantine Empire - a melting pot of east and west. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 FILM: Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2010) Starring Andy Serkis, Naomie Harris, Tom Hughes, Olivia Williams, Bill Milner, Ray Winstone. Biographical drama. 12.55am Sign Zone: Britain’s Forgotten Slave Owners 1.55 Sign Zone: Imagine... Toni Morrison Remembers

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale It is the morning after and the villagers are left reeling, as people struggle to comprehend what has happened. 7.30 Coronation Street Sally makes a bad move. Michael is caught red handed. Liz is unimpressed by Tony’s peace offering. 8.00 Gino’s Italian Escape: A Taste Of The Sun Gino D’Acampo travels through the spectacular and unmistakeable landscape of Tuscany. 8.30 Coronation Street Sally is consumed by guilt. Gail takes the moral high ground. Robert gives Tracy food for thought. 9.00 BBQ Champ Myleene Klass hosts a competition to find the UK’s best amateur BBQer, with judges Adam Richman and BBQ chef Mark Blatchford. Will Solomon, the youth worker from Brixton, impress the judges with his spicy chicken kebab? Has Gary bitten off more than the judges can chew with his monster fruits-de-mer concoction? 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) Starring Vin Diesel, Thandie Newton, Judi Dench, Colm Feore, Karl Urban and Yorick van Wageningen. Sci-fi action sequel to Pitch Black. 12.45am Jackpot247 3.00 Britain’s Best Bakery 3.50 ITV Nightscreen

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Simpsons 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me Abroad 1.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 French Collection 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Robbie chases after his forbidden love. Grace and Frankie lock horns over a villager’s latest meddling. Dylan will stop at nothing to prove himself to Trevor. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Celebrity Fifteen To One See highlights. 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts a comedy version of the quiz show. Sean Lock and Liza Tarbuck take on guest captain Sarah Millican with Romesh Ranganathan. Susie Dent is joined by Phill Jupitus in Dictionary Corner. 10.00 The Last Leg Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker host the comedy show. 11.10 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents a top 50 countdown of the internet inventors who are rewriting the scientific rulebook with their DIY experiments. Inventions include a treadmill on wheels, rocket-powered shopping trolleys, the toilet brush revolver and the world’s most useless product. 12.05am FILM: Killer Joe (2011) 1.50 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners: Country House Rescue 2.45 Supernatural 3.30 You Deserve This House 4.25 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 4.30 Fifteen To One 5.25 Draw It!

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Stop! Roadworks Ahead 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Social Nightmare (2013) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nate, Hannah and Dr Gleeson struggle to get Leah breathing again, while Zac and VJ watch nervously from outside, her decision not to want to stay on life support weighing on their minds. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Cricket On 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the second day’s play in the fourth Test between England and Australia at Trent Bridge. 8.00 Weather Terror Documentary series about extreme and lifethreatening weather events. The only way for Maureen and David to escape the torrential rain of Maccu Picchu is across a dilapidated bridge. 9.00 The Best Of Bad TV: The 90s See highlights. 10.30 Lip Sync Battle Hosted by ‘NCIS: Los Angeles’ star and rapper LL Cool J with commentary from supermodel co-host Chrissy Teigen. Grammy Award-winning soul singer John Legend and hip hop star and actor Common go from collaborators to competitors in an epic sync battle. 10.55 Tattoo Disasters UK Documentary series about some downright terrible tats. 11.25 Tattoo Disasters: UK Documentary series. 11.55 Access A daily round-up of showbiz news and gossip. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Transporter: The Series 4.00 Botched Up Bodies 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

9.00am The Flash 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Flash 4.00 The Simpsons (x4) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 1.00am NCIS: Los Angeles 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Live At The Apollo 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Family Guy 12.30 People Just Do Nothing 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 2.00 Live At The Apollo

7.00pm News 7.30 The Joy Of Easy Listening 9.00 Frank Sinatra: All Or Nothing At All 10.00 Pop Go The Sixties 10.15 Friday Night At The Proms: Seth MacFarlane Sings Sinatra. See highlights. 11.35...Sings The Great American Songbook 12.35am The Joy Of Easy Listening 2.05Frank Sinatra: All Or Nothing At All

1.15pm Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 Judge Rinder 3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Shockers 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Fast & Furious (2009) 11.10 Celebrity Juice 11.55 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Viral Tap

9.35am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.05 Where The Heart Is 4.10 In Loving Memory 4.45 Doctor At Large 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Afterlife 11.05 The Vice 12.10am FILM: Clockwise (1986)

3.00pm Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Adjustment Bureau (2011) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am Tattoo Fixers 1.05 Bodyshockers

10.30am River Cottage Bites 10.55 FILM: Above Us The Waves (1956) 12.55pm Time Team 2.00 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 The Restoration Man 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) 11.30 Embarrassing Bodies 12.35am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am The Simpsons Movie (2007) 12.45pm The Grinch (2000) 2.55 Arrietty (2010) 4.50 Demetrius And The Gladiators (1954) 6.55 Playing For Keeps (2012) 9.00 Men In Black II (2002) 10.40 Chronicle (2012) 12.20am Premonition (2007) 2.15 Dark Star (1974) 4.00 Close

019_LS740_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 31/07/2015 13:12 Page 1

SATURDAY 8 FILM: Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom BBC1, 6.25pm If you thought Bryce Dallas Howard’s recent turn in Jurassic World seemed a bit familiar, check out the original unsuitably attired lady in distress as Kate Capshaw screams and hollers all round the Temple Of Doom. Indy’s side-kick, Short Round, rolls his eyes for us all.

The Cube Celebrity Special ITV1, 8pm The impression anyone who has ever seen Rufus Hound perform stand-up live might get is that behind that mild-mannered exterior he really could be quite competitive. Philip Schofield hosts proceedings whilst Rufus and Rob Beckett text their skills and dexterity all in the name of char-i-deee, mate.

FILM: Insidious E4, 9pm One thing we have learned from years of chilling scary films is that kids can be as scary as any clown, vampire or monster under the bed. From The Shining to Children Of The Corn on to Poltergeist. Continuing this fine tradition is Insidious, in which a family struggle to prevent evil spirits from trapping their child.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Bowlegs 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Arts Alive 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Under The Radar 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Noise Reel 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 11.00 Albion Night 2.00pm Teleshopping 2.30 Latest News 3.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 4.00 Latest News 4.30 In Focus: Noel Sharkey 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 6.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates.. 6.30 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 7.00 Post Feature All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 7.30 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life by searching YouTube and getting the views of guests and the general public. 8.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 8.30 Best of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 9.00 FilmFest on TV Jessica Kellgren Hayes introduces 'Hampi, Valley of the Kings' by Substantial Films. 11.00 Under The Radar 11.30 Noise Reel 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show 2.00 You Make It, We Show It! 2.30 Best of Brighton Lights 3.00 FilmFest on TV 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Reel

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 The Box 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 12.50 Saturday Sportsday 1.00 Bargain Hunt 2.00 Homes Under The Hammer 3.00 Escape To The Continent 4.00 Final Score 5.15 Pointless Celebrities

6.05 BBC News 6.15 South East Today 6.25 FILM: Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984) See highlights. 8.15 The National Lottery: 5-Star Family Reunion Nick Knowles hosts the quiz where families in the UK play alongside their family around the world in the hopes of winning thousands of pounds and a luxury five-star holiday reunion. Includes the Lotto and Thunderball draws, presented by Sonali Shah. Plus a visit to one of the 49 finalists in the National Lottery Stars awards. 9.10 Casualty Dylan is shaken up by an unwanted patient, and Jacob shows his romantic side. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Premier League. 11.40 FILM: Disturbia (2007) Starring Shia LaBeouf, Carrie-Anne Moss, Sarah Roemer, David Morse, Viola Davis. Tense thriller about a troubled high school student who becomes convinced he is living next door to a wanted serial killer. Struggling to come to terms with the death of his father, the teen lands himself in hot water after a fight with a teacher and is put under house arrest. 1.15am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.30am FILM: Gunga Din (1939) 8.25 FILM: Stick It (2005) 10.00 Animal Park 11.00 More Creatures Great And Small 11.30 More Creatures Great And Small 12.00pm Great British Menu 12.30 Great British Menu 1.00 Great British Menu 1.30 Alex Polizzi: Chefs On Trial 2.30 Flog It! 3.30 Swimming: World Championships 5.30 Atlantic: The Wildest Ocean On Earth 6.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. 7.00 Proms Extra 2015 Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Sir Peter Maxwell Davies and Martin James Bartlett join Katie Derham for this edition of the weekly Proms magazine show. 7.40 Edwardian Farm It’s May and, with Empire Day approaching, a very special boat comes to the Valley. The paddle steamer, Monarch, is arriving: one of only three in the country that’s still operational. 8.40 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. An enemy aircraft crash-lands in the local reservoir, severely testing the efficiency of Captain Mainwaring’s communication system. 9.10 FILM: The Duchess (2008) Starring Keira Knightley, Ralph Fiennes, Charlotte Rampling, Dominic Cooper, Hayley Atwell. 18th-century drama based on the tumultuous life of the Duchess of Devonshire, a bright, popular aristocrat who is trapped in a failed marriage and has to face personal conflicts. 10.50 Dame Helen Mirren: The Many Faces Of The Many Faces of Dame Helen Mirren is an entertaining and revealing journey through the career of one of Britain’s best loved actors. 11.55 FILM: Last Orders (2000) Starring Michael Caine, Tom Courtenay. Touching drama. 1.35am FILM: Brighton Rock (2010)

ITV1

6.00am The Aquabats! Super Show! 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan 6.45 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.15 Sooty 7.30 Super 4 7.45 Fish Hooks 8.00 Young Justice: Invasion 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Weekend 9.25 Murder, She Wrote 10.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.35 Tipping Point 2.35 Celebrity Squares 3.20 Midsomer Murders 5.15 Catchphrase 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates funny home videos filmed by viewers. 7.00 Keep It In The Family Bradley Walsh presents a brand new series of the show where two families go head-to-head in a series of games to win all kinds of prizes. This week the Nanas are back, there is a wellknown musical performance by some very talented kids and celebrity couples Flavia Cacace and Jimi Mistry, Lucy Mecklenburgh and Louis Smith, and Stevi Ritchie and Chloe Jasmine all face being dropped through a trapdoor. 8.00 The Cube Celebrity Special See highlights. 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) Starring Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox. Action-packed espionage thriller. A government assassin wakes up with amnesia and goes on a mission to piece together his identity while trying to evade the dangerous people on his tail. He flees from Zurich with a young woman in tow but soon realises that her involvement in his escape has placed her life in danger. 11.10 ITV News; Weather 11.25 The Chase Quiz show. 12.20am Jackpot247 3.00 Ejector Seat 3.50 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.15am How I Met Your Mother 6.40 Tri Liverpool 7.35 FIM Superbike World Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.55 The Big Bang Theory 11.20 The Big Bang Theory 11.45 The Simpsons 12.15pm The Simpsons 12.50 The Simpsons 1.20 Rude(ish) Tube 1.50 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Come Dine With Me 4.45 Come Dine With Me 5.15 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me 6.15 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality series. 6.40 Channel 4 News 7.00 Homes By The Sea Architectural designer Charlie Luxton embarks on a nationwide journey to visit some of Britain’s best homes by the sea. In Northumberland, Charlie discovers that the castle is king. 8.00 Walking Through History Tony Robinson goes on another walk through some of Britain’s most historic landscapes in search of the richest stories from our past. In this edition, Tony sets out to discover the real King John as he walks across John’s stomping grounds of Sherwood Forest and the Peak District. 9.00 FILM: The A-Team (2010) Starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, Sharlto Copley. Action adventure following a team of former US special forces operatives who are sentenced to prison for a crime they did not commit. 11.25 FILM: The Fighter (2010) Starring Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Melissa Leo, Mickey O’Keefe. Docudrama centred on the life of junior welterweight title winner Micky Ward. 1.30am The Last Leg 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.35 You Deserve This House 5.25 Draw It! 5.50 How I Met Your Mother

Channel Five

6.00am Peppa Pig 6.05 Bananas In Pyjamas 6.20 Pip Ahoy! 6.30 The Mr. Men Show 6.40 Chloe’s Closet 6.55 Make Way For Noddy 7.05 Paw Patrol 7.20 Little Princess 7.35 Wanda And The Alien 7.50 Zack And Quack 8.05 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.20 Jelly Jamm 8.40 LazyTown 9.05 Dora And Friends 9.35 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.10 Cowboy Builders 11.00 Cowboy Builders 11.55 Cowboy Builders 12.55pm FILM: Cahill: US Marshal (1973) 2.55 FILM: Rio Lobo (1970) 5.05 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 6.05 Can’t Pay? Benefits Special Documentary series about people who have fallen into debt and those tasked with recovering the money and evicting defaulters. 7.00 Cricket On 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the third day’s play in the fourth Test between England and Australia at Trent Bridge. 7.55 5 News Weekend 8.00 Killer Landslides Globally, landslides and other ground failures cost more lives and money each year than all other natural disasters combined. This programme investigates some of the biggest land slips ever recorded, including one in March 2014 in Washington State that saw the equivalent of three million truck loads of earth plummet down a valley. 9.00 Football League Tonight Kelly Cates and George Riley introduce highlights of all the day’s games in the three divisions of the Sky Bet Football League, and there’s up-tothe-minute reaction to major talking points. 10.25 The Best Of Bad TV: The 90s Documentary series celebrating the moments when TV goes wrong. 11.50 Access A daily round-up of showbiz news and gossip. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Transporter: The Series 4.00 Police Interceptors 4.50 Make It Big 5.20 Make It Big 5.45 Angels Of Jarm (x2) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

8.45am Fantasy Football Club 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 6.00 Yonderland 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 10.00 FILM: Final Destination 3 (2006) 11.50 The Last Ship 12.50am Hawaii Five-0 1.40 NCIS: Los Angeles 2.30 Hawaii Five-0 3.30 Road Wars

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge Of The Fifth 7.15 Don’t Tell The Bride 8.15 FILM: StreetDance 2 (2012) 9.35 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.35 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.05 Family Guy (x6) 1.20am People Just Do Nothing 1.50 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.20 Crims

7.00pm Lost Land Of The Volcano 8.00 Attenborough’s Ark: Natural World Special 9.00 The Young Montalbano 10.55 The Irish Rock Story: A Tale Of Two Cities 11.55 Irish Rock At The BBC 12.55am ... Sings The Great American Songbook 1.55 Lost Land Of The Volcano 2.55 Attenborough’s Ark: Natural World Special

12.45pm FILM: Dragonheart (1996) 2.50 FILM: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) 4.40 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 7.05 FILM: Jack And Jill (2011) 9.00 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.50 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 2.30am Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

6.00am Where The Heart Is (x2) 7.55 Goodnight Mister Tom 9.55 Rosemary And Thyme 12.00pm Wycliffe 1.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple 3.10 FILM: Mutiny On The Buses (1973) 5.00 Columbo: Now You See Him 6.55 Doc Martin 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.00am Wire In The Blood 1.35 Wycliffe

10.30am Made In Chelsea 100th Episode Special 11.35 Baby Daddy (x3) 1.00pm The Goldbergs (x2) 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 3.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 3.30 The Big Bang Theory (x11) 9.00 FILM: Insidious (2010) 11.05 Gogglebox (x2) 12.40am Rude Tube: 200% Cats 1.45 Virtually Famous

2.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 5.45 Four Rooms 6.50 Grand Designs 8.00 The Unsinkable Titanic 9.35 Raising Blackbeard’s Ship: Treasures Decoded 10.40 Nazi Megastructures 11.45 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 12.50am Embarrassing Bodies: Penis Special

11.00am Just Wright (2010) 1.00pm Johnny English Reborn (2011) 3.10 Aliens In The Attic (2009) 4.55 The Iron Giant (1999) 6.35 Iron Man (2008) 9.00 Bridesmaids (2011) 11.25 Red Lights (2012) 1.40am Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (2011) 3.35 Close

Now available on:

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Channel 159

020_LS740_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 31/07/2015 13:12 Page 1

SUNDAY 9 Dragons’ Den BBC2, 8pm There’s a fine line between a thorough pitch and throwing everything in but the kitchen sink in your bid to get cold hard cash from these savvy investors. Quite which side of that line the tech entrepreneur who brings a sports car into the Den to demonstrate his vehicle security app remains to be seen. Plus other ideas.

FILM: Takers Channel Five, pm Looking at Monday with dread and a wonderlust to other careers? Why not go the full fantasy hog and escape into this crime thriller filled with bank robbers leading a life of luxury following another successful heist. What you wanna do right? Not with these rozzers on your tale it’s not. Hang onto the CV.

Atomic, Living In Dread And Promise: Storyville BBC4, 9pm Marking the anniversary this month of the bombing of Hiroshima, Mark Coulson’s documentary looks at the full history of the atomic age, covering not only it’s destructive wake but also how x-rays and MRI scans and the like have affected how we live. Interesting.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Arts Alive: Acoustic 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Noise Floor 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Noise Floor 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Kick Out The Jams 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Kick Out The Jams 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00pm Noise Reel 12.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 1.00 Cate Ferris: Live At The Latest 2.00 Another World Is Possible 2.45 Noise Reel Extra 3.30 Growing Concerns 4.00 Family, Faith And Fun 4.30 Millionaires’ Row 5.00 Kick Out The Jams 5.30 Arts Alive: Acoustic 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates and an up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 6.30 Arts Alive Short Film: The Green Dress It's 1940. As 8 year old Eve makes her way home from school, she's unaware that her father is leaving for war, and that her life will change dramatically. 7.00 The Easy Riders: Champagne Danny John-Jules and the boys head to France on the first leg of their charity bike odyssey and stop in for a nightcap at a local champagne vineyard. 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates and an up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 8.00 Best of Brighton Lights Richard Shayler takes a cheeky look back on episodes of Brighton Lights, first aired on the internet. 8.30 Latest News 9.00 FilmFest On TV Jessica Kellgren Hayes introduces three short films by Tom Kelly. 11.00 Cate Ferris: Live At The Latest The amazing Cate Ferris filmed live at the Latest MusicBar in Brighton. 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 Best of Brighton Lights 2.30 Latest News 3.00 FilmFest On TV 5.00 Cate Ferris: Live At The Latest

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.40 Match Of The Day 9.00 BBC News 10.00 Sunday Morning Live 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 12.00pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Flog It! 2.00 Escape To The Continent 3.00 Animal Odd Couples 4.00 The Great British Bake Off 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 Earth’s Natural Wonders: Living On The Edge 6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile John Craven travels to Llandudno to look at what it takes to make a great summer holiday. He meets the farmer-turned-entrepreneur who’s breathing new life into Llandudno’s Victorian pier, strolls along the prom, has an ice cream and finds out why Llandudno has been a top destination since Victorian times. And, like generations before him, he takes the tram to the Great Orme - a tourist getaway that’s home to some of the country’s rarest flora and fauna. 8.00 Fake Or Fortune? Probably what Dick Whittington and his cat thought on the way to Londinium. 9.00 Partners In Crime Mystery adventure series based on Agatha Christie’s novels. 10.00 BBC News The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide. 10.20 South East Today 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of the day’s matches. 11.40 FILM: The Lookout (2007) Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jeff Daniels, Matthew Goode, Isla Fisher, Carla Gugino, Bruce McGill. Tense thriller about a brain-damaged janitor who is lured into taking part in a bank heist. 1.15am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Big Dreams Small Spaces 7.00 The Instant Gardener 7.45 Countryfile 8.45 Gardeners’ World 9.15 The Beechgrove Garden 9.45 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.15 Great British Menu 11.45 Great British Menu 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 FILM: A Distant Trumpet (1964) 2.55 Two Tribes 3.25 Swimming: World Championships 5.30 The Olympic Journey: How Far, How Fast? 6.00 Hair Ten hair enthusiasts hope they have what it takes to win the title of Britain’s best amateur hairstylist. Hosted by Katherine Ryan. It is the semi-final of Hair. 6.30 Hair It’s the grand final and the three finalists are heading backstage at London’s funkiest wedding fayre. First, they‘ll have to create avantgarde bridal hairstyles for models taking to the stage in front of the events 900 invitees. Who will be walking down the aisle as the winner of Hair 2015? 7.00 Locomotion: Dan Snow’s History Of Railways Documentary series tracing the development of Britain’s railways. 8.00 Dragons’ Den See highlights. 9.00 Odyssey American drama series. The lives of three strangers collide when they uncover an international military conspiracy to fund terrorist activities. 9.45 Javone Prince Show A mix of standup comedy, live music and sketches. 10.15 Family Guy Animated comedy. After running into Jesus at the mall, Peter is stunned to discover that the son of God is still a virgin. 10.35 Family Guy Animated comedy. 11.00 Family Guy Animated comedy. 11.20 FILM: Up There (2012) 12.35am FILM: Deceived (1991) 2.20 Sign Zone: Countryfile 3.15 Sign Zone: Holby City

ITV1

6.00am The Aquabats! Super Show! 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan 6.45 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.15 Sooty 7.30 Super 4 7.45 Fish Hooks 8.00 Young Justice: Invasion 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Weekend 9.25 Murder, She Wrote 10.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 Love Your Garden 1.35 Columbo: Now You See Him 3.25 FILM: Never Say Never Again (1983) 6.00 Off Their Rockers Comedy show which features fearless senior citizens playing pranks on the public with the aid of hidden cameras. 6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Nature Nuts With Julian Clary Series in which Julian Clary travels all over the UK, discovering an extraordinary range of nature lovers. 8.00 Midsomer Murders When a pub landlady is crushed to death during a magic show in Midsomer Oaks, Barnaby and Nelson uncover conflict between the village church and ancient pagan traditions. Is famous magician Gideon Latimer to blame or is he the target? 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 The Nation’s Favourite 80s Number One The popular series turns its neon spotlight onto the 1980s - a defining decade in pop where the hits were big and the hair even bigger. Featuring interviews with 80s icons including Spandau Ballet, Bonnie Tyler, Madness, Dexys Midnight Runners, The Communards and Jason Donovan. 11.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Neil Morrissey Neil Morrissey joins Piers Morgan to look back over his life and career. 12.40am Jackpot247 3.00 Motorsport UK 3.50 British Superbike Championship Highlights 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.15am How I Met Your Mother 6.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.00 British GT 7.30 Armoy Road Races 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm Amazing Spaces Shed Of The Year 2015 1.30 The Simpsons 2.00 The Simpsons 2.30 The Simpsons 3.00 The Simpsons 3.25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.30 Location, Location, Location 5.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Dambusters’ Great Escape: Secret History World War II documentary recounting the Allied raid in which Nazi Germany’s most powerful battleship, Tirpitz, was finally sunk after 34 attempts. 8.00 Experimental Series which attempts to recreate some of the most startling online stunts with Tim Shaw and Buddy Munro. After seeing a video of a daredevil water skier switch from being towed behind a speedboat to being towed by a 34,000-tonne car ferry, Tim decides to explore the dangers involved and the science of aerated water in the Black Sea port of Batumi in Georgia. 9.00 FILM: Life Of Pi (2012) Starring Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, Rafe Spall, Tabu, Adil Hussain, Gerard Depardieu. Adventure film. Following a shipwreck and the subsequent death of his family, a teenage boy faces a battle for survival when he is stranded in the middle of the Pacific ocean with a Bengal tiger. 11.30 FILM: Broken City (2013) Starring Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jeffrey Wright, Kyle Chandler, Alona Tal. American crime thriller. 1.25am Channel 4 Comedy Gala 2015 - Best Bits 2.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.30 Double Your House For Half The Money 5.30 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.35 Draw It!

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Paw Patrol 7.20 Little Princess 7.35 Wanda And The Alien 7.45 Zack And Quack 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Jelly Jamm 8.35 LazyTown 9.00 Dora And Friends 9.30 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.05 Football League Tonight 11.35 Police Interceptors 12.30pm Police Interceptors 1.30 FILM: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (2009) 3.10 FILM: Getting Even With Dad (1994) 5.20 FILM: Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket On 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fourth day’s play in the 4th Test between England and Australia at Trent Bridge, with commentary by Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 Police Interceptors: Unleashed Clip show of the most exciting high-speed chases and action from Channel 5’s popular crime series, presented by Vinnie Jones. Mac pulls over a car and finds a box packed with weed, the coppers discover a lock-up for motors that are hotter than Dante’s Inferno and a car thief rewrites the rules of the road. Plus, a light-fingered fuel thief has nowhere to go - apart from the nick! 9.00 FILM: Takers (2010) See highlights. 11.10 FILM: The Losers (2010) Starring Chris Evans, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Idris Elba, Zoe Saldana, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada, Holt McCallany, Jason Patric. Action thriller in which a team of mercenaries on a covert CIA operation in Bolivia are betrayed by a rogue agent and left to perish. Against the odds they survive the mission and immediately seek retribution. 1.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Under The Dome 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big (x3) 5.45 Angels Of Jarm 5.50 Angels Of Jarm Victoria Nangle

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BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

1.00pm Modern Family 1.30 Futurama (x5) 4.00 The Simpsons (x4) 6.00 King Of The Nerds 7.00 Cricket’s Funniest Moments 8.00 The Last Ship 9.00 A League Of Their Own 9.30 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.30 A League Of Their Own 11.30 Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 2.30am Road Wars 3.00 Night Cops

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 FILM: The Mexican (2001) 10.55 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.20 Family Guy (x2) 12.05am American Dad! 12.30 Family Guy 12.50 People Just Do Nothing 1.20 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.20 The Unbreakables: Life & Love On Disability Campus

7.00pm BBC Proms: Pastoral Symphonies 8.30 Brushing Up On... 9.00 Atomic, Living In Dread And Promise: Storyville. See highlights. 10.10 The Sky At Night 10.40 Chalkie Davies: Rock Photographer 11.10 Sinatra: All Or Nothing At All 12.10am Friday Night At The Proms: Seth MacFarlane Sings...

1.35pm You’ve Been Framed! Animals Special 2.35 FILM: Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 4.25 FILM: Nanny McPhee (2005) 6.15 FILM: The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) 9.00 FILM: 21 Jump Street (2012) 11.10 Safeword 11.55 FILM: The Faculty (1998) 2.00am Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

10.10am Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.15pm FILM: Finding Neverland (2004) 2.20 Wycliffe 3.35 Bertie And Elizabeth 5.40 Inspector Morse 8.00 Hotel In The Clouds 9.00 Inside Asprey 10.00 Birds Of A Feather 10.30 Northern Lights 11.35 Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.30am Blue Murder

12.30pm Couples Come Dine With Me (x2) 2.35 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 3.30 The Goldbergs (x2) 4.30 FILM: Night At The Museum 2 (2009) 6.35 The Big Bang Theory (x5) 9.00 Rude Tube: 200% Cats 10.00 Gogglebox (x2) 11.40 Tattoo Fixers 12.50am FILM: Friday The 13th (2009) 2.40 Rules Of Engagement

12.05pm Kirstie And Phil’s Love It Or List It 1.05 Small Animal Hospital (x3) 2.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.15 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Salvage S.O.S (x2) 9.00 Car S.O.S 10.00 Walking The Nile 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.05 Car S.O.S 2.05 Walking The Nile

11.00am The Mark Of Zorro (1940) 1.00pm Millions (2004) 2.55 My Neighbour Totoro (1988) 4.40 Dragonball Evolution (2009) 6.20 The Karate Kid (2010) 9.00 Bullet To The Head (2012) 10.45 The Rise (2012) 12.55am Ikiru (1952) 3.50 Close

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021_LS740_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 31/07/2015 13:12 Page 1

MONDAY 10 Life In Squares BBC2, 9pm We all know on some level that our parents had lives before we arrived, but they were grey and uneventful - right? Angelica is now fully grown and as close as mother daughter relationships might be, Vanessa’s secret of her daughter’s parentage might be a bit too much of colourful history for this relationship to take.

Under The Dome Channel Five, 10pm After all of these weeks of constant trials in the Dome, with snow, rain, shrinkage (not related to the rain), as well as mind games on the side, it turns out this week that the safest place to be on the planet is actually inside this semi-circle of torment. D’oh! Catastrophic meteor showers are arriving outside. C’est la vie.

Britain’s Nuclear Secrets: Inside Sellafield BBC4, 9pm On the remote northwest coast of England is one of the most controversial nuclear facility in Britain – Sellafield. For the first time ever nuclear physicist Professor Jim Al-Khalili and the television cameras are being let in to find out the real story. Not three-eyed fish, we’re sure.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Cuppa TV 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Cuppa TV 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Burn Up With Natalie 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Brighton HiLights 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Hi-Lights 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x3) 1.00pm The Newspapers 1.30 Film Live Academy 2.00 Talk Like That 2.30 Bookenders 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Kick Out The Jams 5.30 Arts Alive: Acoustic 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Burn Up With Natalie Personal trainer Natalie Golland gives viewers a fitness workout. 7.00 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life by searching YouTube and getting the views of guests and the general public. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Cook It Andrew Kay presents the no frills cookery programme to help you prepare tasty, simple fresh food. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 International Chef Exchange International Chef exchange does Den Haag and Brighton. 10.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, plus national updates. 11.00 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 11.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton Nick Coquet’s misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round: 30 minutes of toppermost pop music, upcycled ephemera and stunning cinematography. 12.00am Win Cash Live: Gambling 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Cook It 3.00 Latest News 3.30 International Chef Exchange 4.30 Latest News 5.00 On The Verge 5.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton

BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Close Calls: On Camera 11.30 Heir Hunters 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 TV That Made Me 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Fake Britain Matt Allwright investigates the conmen who are trying to get their hands on your money by using fakes, forgeries and frauds and shows you how to avoid being taken for a ride. In this episode, Matt reveals the dog breeder producing pups with fake pedigrees. Plus the fake kids’ scooters scaring Britain’s parents and a look at what is really inside a counterfeit iPhone. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Emotions run high at the Beales’ as Jane’s world continues to crumble, and she resorts to drastic measures. A familiar face returns to the Square. 8.30 Sherlock Contemporary remake of the Arthur Conan Doyle classic. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Have I Got A Bit More Old News For You Classic news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 11.20 Have I Got A Bit More Old News For You The popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Kirsty Young and panellists Max Keiser and Tony Law. 12.05am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.10 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Close Calls: On Camera 7.30 Heir Hunters 8.15 Escape To The Continent 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm FILM: The Great Caruso (1951) 1.45 Yes, Minister 2.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 3.15 Are You Being Served? 3.45 Monkey Planet 4.45 Great British Railway Journeys 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Two Tribes Richard Osman presents the fast-paced quiz show. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 7.00 Carol Klein’s Plant Odysseys Four-part series exploring the inner secrets and botanical history of four of our favourite garden plants. 7.30 Great British Menu Creative culinary competition. Three of the south west’s finest chefs - Jude Kereama, Josh Eggleton and Dominic Chapman - attempt to impress a veteran judge with their starters. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions in this quiz series for students. 8.30 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell. 9.00 Life In Squares See highlights. 10.00 QI Quiz show in which the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry and Alan Davies are joined by a selection of guests for a compilation of favourite moments from the L series of QI. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 The Women’s Football Show Football series looking at the biggest issues in the women’s game. 11.35 Dragons’ Den Series in which budding entrepreneurs pitch business ideas to multimillionaires. 12.35am Odyssey 1.15 Sign Zone: Dara O Briain Meets Stephen Hawking 2.00 Sign Zone: Britain At The Bookies

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale It is the aftermath of the disaster. 7.30 Coronation Street Tracy struggles to hide her guilt. 8.00 Vet School Documentary series following the pioneering work of the Edinburgh Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Studies. 8.30 Coronation Street Ken encourages Tracy to grab love when she can. 9.00 Travel Guides Johnny Vegas narrates this entertaining new travel series which sends five ordinary British households to review some popular holiday destinations. Each week, the same people sample identical holidays and then describe their experiences, reporting on everything from accommodation to food and activities. This week’s location is Dubai. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Plebs Sitcom. When the boys win big at a chariot race it looks like their fortunes might have taken a turn for the better. 11.10 Plebs Sitcom set in ancient Rome. 11.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Jeremy Kyle presents the explosive US version of his popular talk show. 12.25am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Simpsons 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me Abroad 1.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 2.10 Countdown 3.00 Fifteen To One 4.00 French Collection 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen soap. Twin rivalry reaches fever pitch when Robbie and Jason lock horns. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Flying To The Ends Of The Earth Pilot and former Royal Marine Arthur Williams flies to some of the remotest parts of the planet to find out how people survive and thrive. Arthur travels to the deserts of northern Australia, the islands of the Coral Sea and the jungles of Papua, where flying is the only way in and out. 9.00 24 Hours In Police Custody Documentary series following Bedfordshire police officers from the cells at Luton Police Station to the heart of major crime investigations. 10.00 Brits Behind Bars: Cocaine Smugglers Documentary examining the illegal drugs trade in Peru, hearing from both the criminal gangs involved and the British-funded antidrug unit who are trying to stop the trafficking. 11.00 Tattoo Fixers Reality series in which tattoo artists join forces to fix the UK’s shocking tattoo catastrophes. 12.05am Confessions Of A Teacher 1.00 Kirstie’s Fill Your House For Free 1.55 The Food Hospital 2.50 Double Your House For Half The Money 3.45 You Deserve This House 4.40 Fifteen To One 5.35 Draw It!

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Dog Rescuers With Alan Davies 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Dangerous Company (2015) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Kyle and Phoebe are concerned that Ricky is not grieving properly, but Ash pulls them up on it and argues that she is coping in her own way. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Cricket On 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fifth day’s play in the 4th Test between England and Australia at Trent Bridge. 8.00 Stop! Roadworks Ahead Documentary series about men at work on our roads. 9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild Documentary series in which adventurer Ben Fogle meets people who have given up the rat race to start a new life in remote parts of the world. Ben visits 47-year-old ‘sea gypsy’ Rick, who meanders around French Polynesia on a tiny sailing boat. 10.00 Under The Dome See highlights. 11.00 Can’t Pay? Benefits Special Documentary series about people who have fallen into debt and those tasked with recovering the money and evicting defaulters. Special edition, part of the Britain on Benefits Season. 12.00am The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 12.50 Tattoo Disasters UK 1.15 SuperCasino 3.10 Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.20 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

9.00am The Flash 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 The Flash 4.00 The Simpsons (x4) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Yonderland 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Modern Family (x2) 10.00 Glee 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 1.50am NCIS: Los Angeles

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Epilepsy & Me 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 Epilepsy & Me 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.00 Disabled In An Instant 3.00 Epilepsy & Me

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 A Very British Renaissance 9.00 Britain’s Nuclear Secrets: Inside Sellafield. See highlights. 10.00 Race For The World’s First Atomic Bomb: A Thousand Days Of Fear 11.00 Attenborough’s Ark: Natural World Special 12.00am The Fantastical...

12.10pm Emmerdale 12.40 Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 Dinner Date 2.40 Judge Rinder 3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Fast & Furious (2009) 11.10 FILM: Derailed (2005) 1.15am Mom (x2) 2.00 Life’s Funniest Moments

11.00am Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Royal 3.10 Where The Heart Is 4.15 In Loving Memory 4.50 Never The Twain 5.20 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Cold Blood II 11.35 Wycliffe 12.40am The Royal 1.30 Judge Judy

3.00pm Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Melissa & Joey 8.00 New Girl 8.30 The Mindy Project 9.00 Made In Chelsea LA 10.00 Young, Free & Single: Live 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Gogglebox

10.50am FILM: The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 12.55pm Time Team 2.00 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 The Restoration Man 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Supervet 10.00 24 Hours In A&E 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10 The Supervet

11.00am Ponyo (2008) 1.20pm Toys (1992) 3.55 King Kong (1976) 6.45 Home Alone 3 (1997) 9.00 Knight And Day (2010) 11.10 Damsels In Distress (2011) 1.15am Street Kings (2008) 3.30 Close

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