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IT’S JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT…
… and we’re all Time Warping our way to the Theatre Royal Brighton for The Rocky Horror Show page 13
CHORAL CHRISTMAS Festive music
DINING OUT Andrew Kay goes to Market
HOLLY WOULD Time for a mobile detox
BRIGHTON’S ARTY Open studios
WILL HARRIS Mincing into Gatwick
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CITY GIRL
IN THE CITY
VICTORIA NANGLE
Christy Moore
t's flu season and what has me absolutely seething with frustration and footstamping-through-the-floorness is when my brain decides it's had enough and just goes away to Lanzaroti for a week or a fortnight and leaves me floundering like a mutant beached whale of sans-intellect. It's not just the not being able to think. It's the frustration when I know so clearly that I can think and do these oh so simple tasks but lurgy has robbed me of the faculties to do so. I've had a chest infection/cold combo for several days and I'm doing all the good things of antibiotics, Lemsip, rest, liquids, vitamins and box sets from under a duvet I know should do the trick when what should I find on a Saturday night? My boiler's flashing an error message I've never seen before and packed up the heating and hot water in one fell swoop. Normal brain would have this sorted without a murmur (or much of one). Illbrain was so chuffed with itself swimming through the porridge of finding the online PDF of the boiler's manual, restarting the boiler, upping the pressure, and
With his new album Where I Come From (released Nov 2013), Moore looks set to continue his reign as the king of Irish roots music, with a career – both as a solo musician and with Planxty and Moving Hearts – that has spanned over four decades. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 2 April 2016, £34, brightondome.org
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then calling my lovely and frequently visiting plumber on the Sunday. Double-duveted, I felt I had coped admirably and went back to surprising myself with the wind noises my sinuses were making. Monday afternoon I double check and the error is still there on the boiler – it wasn't my fevered imagination. In comes the plumber with his apprentice, casually discussing Marvel characters like the superheroes they are – and the flippin' boiler works! Ill-brain was left spinning. Yes, I probably had gotten up too quickly, and hadn't had the energy to feed myself yet, but the sheer gall of that boiler contraption to play the old switcheroo… well, I'm just glad plumber and apprentice were superhero enough to laugh at me good-naturedly and leave me to my clementines. www.plumbworkssussex.co.uk
Charity Chuckle As a part of Stand-Up to End Violence Against Women, Charity Chuckle raises money for charities Rise and Survivors Network with a fabulous comedy line-up including Linda Larkin aka Sam Savage, Angela Barnes, Grainne Maguire, Athena Kugblenu, Brodi Snook, Louise Reay, Jane Postlethwaite and Suzy Bennett. Komedia, 8 December 2015, £10, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton
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IN THIS ISSUE 4 Latest TV Latest News, Digital Nation & highlights 6 Andrew Kay Yak Yak Yak The bigger picture 7 Hot List Restaurants, cafes & takeaways 7 The Box More MIC news from Andrew B 9 Andrew Kay Dines Out Time to go to Market 11 Holly Would Celeb news and phone addiciton 12 Specky Wren The best dressed eyes in town 13 Rocky Horror Show Time Warp hits Theatre Royal 14 Science/Brighton’s Arty Women in science Bag a bargain at NEH 15 Get On Board/Commutable Pre-dawn commutes Free bus travel for kids 16 Cheeky Guide/Oliver Stevenson talks to Cousn Celebrating the people of Brighton Inside track on the DJ duo 18 Entertainment news What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music – plus the chart 20 Mike Ward At Large/Reviews Rice repair job plus what’s been happening around our city 21 TV Listings TV Listings for the next 7 days
LATEST LATEST TV LATEST THE NEWS, MUSIC BAR AT THE HEART THE VIEWS, THE WEEK’S HIGHLIGHTS
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TIM RIDGWAY, HEAD OF NEWS
VICTORIA NANGLE
thelatest.tv We also have about four to five smaller stories, a round up of national news, a two minute entertainment segment and a five minute sport segment and the weather too. All of this – with adjoining pictures – needs to be ready to go by 3pm for the two hour live show. And that’s before we think about dealing with the guests, who pop up every day to talk about events their involved in or
Newsreader Jeff Moody
he news is a tough business to predict. That's what makes it so interesting; but that's what equally makes it so difficult to cover – especially when you live in such a vibrant city as Brighton and Hove. It requires the plate-spinning skills of a clown, the diplomacy of a politician and the organisational skills of Alan Sugar’s mysterious PA on The Apprentice. Unlike many jobs, when you work in news you have a deadline every day. That means there’s no chance of a “down day”, where you can reply to all those emails that are so old they have digital mould growing off them; or an “off day”, where you sit in the toilet playing games on your phone for two hours; or even a “sick day”, where you bunk off and leave the workload until you return to the office. Every day you have to be on it, up at the crack of dawn ready to tackle the mountain of information that this 24-hour news cycle delivers. And by 6pm when you clock off, you have to produce a two hour live news programme, three subsequent bulletins, as well as weekly sports and current affairs shows. Phew! My own personal days start at around 6.45am when the alarm goes off. After pressing snooze a few times, the reading of the news start at about 7.30am followed by a few hastily fired off emails to colleagues about stuff I should
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e believe the future are our children. Common sense, innit? Which is why it’s great to see cities and pioneers investing and putting thier faith in today’s youngsters to bring about tomorrow’s great discoveries. Leading the way is revolutionary inventor of the MRI,
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Every day you have to be on it, up at the crack of dawn
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have responded to the day before. By 8.30am I have an idea of how I'd like the running order for that day’s news to look like. The journalists who are working that day will receive their orders with details on where they need to be and when by 9am. The range of stories we cover is immense. It could be speaking to the family of a man who was murdered on Christmas Day. It could be meeting those behind a new multimillion pound redevelopment of a prime city centre site, such as Circus Street or the i360. It could be interviewing a celebrity ahead of their appearance on stage in the town – we've talked to Strictly’s Camilla Dallerup and author Martina Cole in recent weeks. Or it could be chatting to a bunch of school kids who are far too bright for their age, which pretty much happens on a daily basis. If it happens in Brighton (or Hove, Adur or Worthing for that matter) then we'll cover it. The task of piecing all of this together for the daily two hour live show starts pretty much as soon as the briefing is sent out. Every day we focus on about four lengthy video packages which have been filmed by our talented and very eager bunch of journalists. channel 159 or at thelatest.tv
Tim Ridgway
issues they have a view on. Even though we do it every day, there’s always a few challenges which come along in the bid to trip us up. Such as when scaffolders decide that 2.55pm was the perfect time to start taking down the metalwork opposite the studio. Or when reporters get stuck in traffic on the way back from a breaking news story. Or when guests arrive straight from the pub and walk onto set in front of the news reader while we’re on air. You have to stay calm, think on your feet and just try and get through it wit a smile on your face. And when we go off air, it’s straight on to planning for the next day. And then eventually it’s to bed – ready to take on the whole challenge again the next day. It’s exhausting. But the unpredictability makes it always interesting. Tune in to Latest TV's Big News Show live every weekday from 3pm to 5pm with bulletins every night at 6pm, 7.30pm and 10.30pm. news@thelatest.tv 4
Sir Peter Mansfield. It’s easy to forget that it’s such a recent invention that has become intrinsic to our health system within a matter of decades. One of Nottingham’s famous faces, Sir Peter was told at the impressionable age of 15 that he didn’t have what it takes to be a scientist. Now a professor, as well as a scientific pioneer, he certainly inspires those who want to, to follow their dreams no matter what. He’s especially keen for young people to have greater encouragement to pursue sciences, calling it “crucial”. And he should know! Over in Norwich it’s a feast of
scientific opportunity opening up as Britain’s first ever aviation academy has just been announced. Based at Norwich Airport, and planning courses in everything from aviation engineering to training for cabin crew and pilots, around £12 million has been invested in this enterprise and it’s overflowing with potential. Its first students could start in September of next year, which is well worth bearing in mind when considering what 2016 might hold in store. From tragedy came an
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thelatest.tv incredible proposition for Manchester’s youth, with the emergence of Manchester Fathers Against Violence. Back in 2009 James Gregory lost his son to youth violence at just 16 years of age. Two years later he determined to do something about the status quo and started up Manchester Fathers Against Violence, to keep young people on the football pitch and away from violence – and it’s gone from strength to strength. Also incorporating education and qualification training, as well as encouraging fathers to become
role models in the community, one young participant exclaimed: “It’s like a family!” Which sounds like the best endorsement ever. Mind you, we’ve always been captivated by the future, as Cambridge TV explored when they starting digging into exactly how much the iconic film ‘Back To The Future’ got right in its ‘futuristic predictions for 2015, way back when in the 1980s.
Plus there’s five-star accommodation for cats, a designer of fairies and their fairy inventions, the changing of Glasgow’s skyline with the demolition of the Red Road flats, the annual blessing of pets at Greyfriars Kirk, and much more. What a wonderful world.
Get Up And Go, Tuesday We all 1 December, 6.30am, know that 8.30am & 7pm Get fit for Christmas with this Brightonians new series from Birmingham, work on their with a team of trainers covering own schedule a range of different techniques. Perfect for those considering a New Year’s fitness resolution too, but who aren’t sure which direction to jump in first. The selection starts today – this morning or this evening, take your pick – with Scott offering a Latino workout to get your blood pumping. and unseen live music, Liam Clarke hosts direct from Stratford Upon Avon College. Tonight’s late night slice of tune pie features music from Tom Forbes and funky trio Electric Spivs.
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Dee Kelly Asks, Wednesday 2 December, 8.30pm Dee Kelly is a familiar face to fans of Benefits Street and Big Brother, but tonight she’s stepping out of the ensemble and into the solo spotlight, getting to the heart of the big issues of the day, including legal highs, FGM, immigration, mental health issues in men and more. Framing the series, Bob Hall presents an overview of the show’s run and interviews Dee Kelly about her rise to fame over the last 18 months.
CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton, Friday 4 December, 9pm We all know that Brightonians work on their own time schedule – we’re all freelancers, darling! – or shift workers, or part time workers... we’re unorthodox to say the least. Which is why it makes perfect sense to tune in for a breakfast of misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round breakfast fun at 9pm in the evening. Join Nick Coquet for pop music, stunning cinematography and much more.
Reverb Live, Thursday 3 December, 11pm Bringing together some of the hottest unsigned, undiscovered watch on
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Guy Lloyd’s Telly Show, Saturday 5 December, 7.30pm Strictly speaking this is a highlight from Friday night, but this is your chance to catch the repeat. Juice FM’s drivetime DJ Guy Lloyd takes to the streets to ask the burning questions to the folk on the street – and this week’s topics are decidedly upbeat: holidays and good deeds. Ho! Ho! Ho! The perfect platform to spread the vibe of being good to one another. Hurrah!
FilmFest on TV, Sunday 6 December, 9pm Jessica Kellgren-Hayes hosts this must-see show for all film aficionados. Interviewing multimedia artist Asatuurs Keim and filmmaker Alex Rafael Rose, whilst watching their films, as well as New York filmmaker Joyia Bradley and her film ‘Kitty Bainbridge Is Dead!’, it’s a treat for the senses. Brighton Album Chart Show, Monday 7 December, 5.30pm Juice FM’s Tony Marks introduces the monthly top 10, with its unique Brighton flavour courtesy of independent cult record store, Resident Records. Find out which bands and artists have been flying off the shelves and who has been the surprise hit in this month’s stock take. (Repeat from Friday).
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ANDREW KAY YAK YAK YAK
SPONSORED BY Bardsley’s Fish & Chips
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FOR GOD’S SAKE? am not going to post a picture of a cat here to lighten the mood. Pictures of cats are no solution to the current global situation – far from it. They might help mask the horror and the tragedy yes, but do they really work as an act of defiance, do they really say that nothing you can throw at is us will weaken our resolve to live a normal life? I think not, I like cats, I really do, but they are not the solution. I woke to the news of the terrible terrorist attacks in Paris, I contacted my friend who lives there and was relieved that she was unharmed. As the day unfolded the true horror grew and grew. Paris was shocking yes, but so too were the atrocities being carried out globally, some of which the news agencies seemed to think were of lesser importance, why? Well indeed why. As a man of a certain age brought up in a christian community (I will not dignify the term with a capital ‘C’), I am disheartened and ashamed. I stopped believing long, long ago. I got to a point in my life where any sort of controlling deity seemed like a fairy story gone wrong. An all caring god surely would never countenance some of the pain and suffering in this world, the injustice, anger, corruption and, well let’s get down to it, pure evil. I stopped believing and put behind me all those years of Sunday school and church going. If there was a god then he was not cutting it for me. But stopping believing left a hole in my life, in my existence. Believers have one enviable thing and that is faith, having something that they genuinely believe in. I would like to have that, but not if it manifests its self in the way that so much ‘faith’ does – religious fervour, intolerance, bigotry, oppression and bloody violence. How much of what is happening in the world is done in the name of some god? Terrorists who blow themselves up and take innocents with them on the promise of a feast of virgin flesh? Surely they are not really representing the
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majority of believers in their faith. Fights over land carried out in the name of god? Get over yourselves and learn to live side by side. Homosexuals thrown to their death from the roofs of car parks? What kind of god sanctions such a terrible punishment. Women stoned to death because they have been linked to adultery? Young girls ostracised by their church because they are pregnant? The list of horrors instigated in the names of gods is almost endless. We may have stopped burning witches here in Britain but we still hunt them down, we punish gay people, we isolate single mothers, we demean the homess and the less able – and all the time the churches, temples and other religious establishments are sitting on vast riches. It’s time for them to put their begging bowls away, shut their mouths and get their own houses in order. So there you have my saddened view on religion, I envy their faith,
despots and madmen. And who pays? Who fuels the wheels of war? You don’t need to look too far to find the armament companies, and indeed the governments that facilitate the sales of arms. Meanwhile innocent people, going about their day, are being bombed, shot, murdered. Children are starving through lack of food and dying from lack of medication, men and women are punished and killed because they love the wrong person or dress the wrong way, extremists are destroying ancient buildings, burning instruments and books… I need not go on, you know what I mean. And it’s not all coming from one side of any argument, it is coming from all sides. We are all party to this horror, every time we wake we too play our part – unless of course we stand up and shout that enough is enough, go back to your temples and churches, question your holy writings, talk if you can to your gods, charge your politicians to justify their actions, ask the banks that you use to stop funding acts of war or armaments, make sure that the rich support the more needy, query the high street merchants on their sourcing of goods and their marketing strategy, make the tax avoiding businesses cough up, close the loopholes, sack the corrupt, expose the guilty and make them pay – not by hurting them physically but by making them give something back. Easy words maybe, I am no politician. I would never want to outlaw religion, far from it, but I would ask them all to play nicely together, with respect, with love, with understanding. As for governments, stop playing with our lives, we are not your pawns in some great global take-over bid – we are humans.
An all caring god surely would never countenance some of the pain and suffering in this world
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but not the guilt that now must surely come with it. On then to the politicians and the bankers. What fuels these atrocities? Have we leaned nothing? A certain Herr Hitler waged a terrible war in Europe in the name of christianity and attempted to rid the world of Jews. It was an atrocious act, ethnic cleansing on a massive scale and done in the most horrific fashion. It goes on, ethnic cleansing is still taking place and who is behind it? Well religion is part of this but it is also politicians, the powercrazed, would-be dictators, channel 159 or at thelatest.tv
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HOT LIST
ANDREW BULLOCK THE BOX
BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s
Follow me: @andrewjbullock
Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk
MADE IN CHELSEA SEASON 10 EP 5
o cheer poor betrayed heartbroken Ollie up, Binky makes him hard stale burnt toast and eggs that have been boiled within an inch of their life. Apparently hard boiled eggs only need five minutes as opposed to fifteen. Five? I only give them 2.5 when I do them. #salmonella #awareness Ollie is naturally obsessively comparing himself to Spenny. Binky explains that personality is more important than looks in the long run (which, let’s face it, it’s not) and so Ollie has hope for the future given that he is not attractive (according to Binky, not me). He then goes for a walk to clear his head from the stress he’s feeling over the relationship that he had for about 9 seconds, and bumps into Richard, who waves at him like Kenneth Williams at an ashes scattering. Richard apparently is besotted by Steph – so much so that he hasn’t even touched his copy of ‘Guns and Ammo monthly’. He then says in a creepily sinister manner that he wants to kiss her (and kill her?) Emma pops by to see Ollie, but he’s off having a walk. Binky welcomes her with open arms into the house where she sits her down and tells her that if she carries on dating Spenny she will most likely die a horrible horrible death. Lucy’s bitching about Tiff’s internship with Rosie. No-one can quite seem to get their head around what the hell Lucy’s problem is. Also, it is revealed that she pays Tiff to work at her own company. To be fair, why would Tiff give that up seeing as surely she doesn’t have to actually do anything. Richard has this army of phallus-like robots. He has programmed one to hand Steph a rose. The last scene is at a recital. We haven’t had one of these yet this
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INDIAN The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national recognition which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample Thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, whilst the evening menu offers inventive street food, decadent Tandoori dishes and tasty regional curries, served in a vibrant and bustling setting. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011–14 and has retained its Michelin Bib Gourmand from 2010 to 2015. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com
The Chilli Pickle Canteen The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384
Chaula’s Lewes Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 12pm–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
Chaula’s Brighton A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Thali Deals available 12pm-3pm; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk
He goes for a walk to clear his head from the stress he’s feeling over the relationship he’s had for about 9 seconds
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THAI Street Thai Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444
season. Why do they bother sending the cast to these, we all know they’d rather be pounding vermouth. Geography watch: Wheeze hasn’t heard of Bedford. JP doesn’t know that Norfolk’s not near Somerset. Binky thinks that Wales isn’t in Britain. But who cares about that when JP casually drops into conversation that he is feeling butterflies toward Binky!? Praise Jesus! Steph’s not interested in entering Richard’s robotics scholarship as her heart has gone cold. Sounds like the perfect quality for machinery crossbreeding, no? Andrew Bullock is a producer, presenter and writer. You can read more at www.drewjbullock.wordpress.com
Cafe Chilli Cafe Chilli breaks the mould of the traditional Thai restaurant. You'll still find the classic dishes, but also fusion food which is increasingly popular in modern Thailand. From a classic green curry to chilli pesto spaghetti and ever-changing specials, you'll be spoilt for choice! With a varied wine list, homemade soft drinks and delicious desserts, there's something for everyone. Visit our website at: www.cafe-chilli.co.uk to find more info and menus. Tel: 01273 710390. 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL.'
ITALIAN Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
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ANDREW KAY DINES OUT
MARKET FORCES
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ecognising that it is time for change can be a difficult decision for us all to make. When you own a restaurant with an excellent record and a loyal clientele it must be even harder but this is what the owners of Graze did earlier this year when the closed and re-opened as Market. Brave but wise. Market reflects the UK’s passion for great ingredients, local produce and seasonality. It also embraces the fashion for small plate dining, that sharing experience that so many of us are now enjoying. They also recognise that for some people, sharing food is not an option, so there are a small section of larger dishes and specials. Mr L and I are happy to share food and despite the terrible pudding and pea puree, so last decade! These came with wild boar weather we braved the elements I love bacon, honeyed parsnip cream and parsnip crisps. Again a plate and headed down Western Road for octopus, licked clean. what we hoped would be a mainly because Brocccoli, kale and tahini was a fascinating combo that had me delicious lunch. We were not begging for the dressing recipe. Blue fillet steak with egg yolk and disappointed. it tastes of salsify chips was as good as one might hope for, comforting, Market looks great, deep green octopus, not satisfying and rich – it made one realise that a return to try the steak tiling and a long counter at which chicken, not and chip main would be needed and the burger too. you can watch the chefs prepare I love octopus, mainly because it tastes of octopus , not chicken, some of your dishes. I love that, it’s fish, just not fish, just octopus. This was cooked expertly, tender as one might always handy to pick up a few tips octopus hope for and in a red caper bejewelled sauce that complimented but for my own kitchen. did not mask the flavour. We started our journey with a brace of immaculately shucked One of the specials was pig cheek with pickled red cabbage. Oh my, oysters served with strikingly good bisque shots and a bowl of that was good, I didn’t want to finish that one. tempura olives with two dips, one creamy and a kale pesto, a I was too full for pudding but needs must and I gave in to a baked fascinating iron rich sauce the same colour as the tiling and equally popcorn cheese cake with salt caramel popcorn and praline. It was pleasing. divine but big, I mean really big, how mean that my only complaint Next came churros with truffled honey. You can dip me in truffled woul be that a dish is too big. Mr L made light of pauper’s cake and honey and throw me to the… well you know the rest. Delicious, piping quipped that it was rich. hot and very moreish. Throughout we tasted wines by the glass from and expertly Venison carpaccio came with sliced plums and hazelnuts and each designed list and at the end we swore to return very soon. mouthful was a well balanced delight of rich game vibrant fruit and Congratulations to both Kate and Manni for a brilliant rebirthing. creamy nut. Crsipy kale leaves added an elemnt of crunch and we 42 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1JD 01273 823707 both ran our fingers across the plate to mop up the last of the pink www.market-restaurantbar.co.uk dressing – we’re just that kind of diner. Scallops next and three cheers for not serving them with balck
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Al Rouche is a family-run Lebanese restaurant in central Brighton. Come and try our delicious meze, mixed grill, seafood and baklawa! Our food does the talking! Special offer 3 course meal (A minimum of two people) Starter: Meze (to share) Main: Mixed Grill, Ablameh or Bamieh (one each) Choice of either Baklawa, Lebanese coffee or Mint Tea
44 Preston Street, Brighton, BN1 2HP
01273 734810
10% STUDENT
DISCOUNT
www.alrouche.com
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the place for parties! Atmospheric Affordable Available any night You book it We make it happen Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office parties Business events Hen & Stag nights Tell us what you want We provide it all
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this week> Tues 1 Overhead Wires Music presents... YOUNGEST SON + BUZZ HOLLY + REHAB DOLL + LATE NIGHT RUN 8pm, £5 door/£3 adv Wed 2 Action for Happiness Action for Happiness is a movement for positive social change. 7.30pm, Free Cabaret Bar Three Times Over Cavalier 7pm, £5/£6 door Sun 6 Cabaret Bar The Studio 9 Orchestra Featuring Red Grey 7.30pm, £10/£15 Cafe Bar Classic Album Sunday The next Classic Album Album Sundays – Brighton event will feature Prince and his Sign O’ the Times album. 1pm, £8/£10 door
www.latestmusicbar.co.uk 14 –17 manchester street Advance tickets from www.wegottickets.com
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011_LS757_hollywould/celeb_Layout 1 27/11/2015 11:09 Page 1
CELEB CITY
HOLLY WOULD PHONE DETOX ast month I went out for dinner with a group of friends and I noticed something disturbing: we were all glued to our mobile phones. The disturbing part was that I probably wouldn’t have even realised this if my battery had not run out. I sat at the table, mobile-less, chatting to my friends when every so often somebody would say: “one sec, let me just…” followed by the sound of typing. Again, this is something I wouldn’t have noticed if I had still had my own device. As I looked around the room, I realised it wasn’t just our table whose eyes were fixated on their mobiles, but the whole restaurant’s. Families, friends, couples and even the waiter had their phone glued to their hand. Everyone was more concerned with talking on their device rather than talking to the people sat beside them. Surely that’s not normal? But it is normal because as the days went by I noticed a similar pattern everywhere I went. Walking down the street, queuing in a shop, sitting on a train. Every single person had some sort of gadget that they clutched to. This got me thinking, how much of our day do we spend distracted by our phones and what are we missing? As I researched this online (using my phone, ironically) I discovered a study that showed how the average person spends more time on their devices than they do sleeping per day. How many nights had I swapped hours of sleep for hours of pointlessly scrolling through Instagram? Countless nights. I finally understood why my parents wouldn’t let us have our mobiles at the dinner table. I wondered if this was a rule that I should apply to other parts of my life too so, as of last week, I have been doing just that. I have decided that being on my phone so much is bad for me, it makes me oblivious to my surroundings. As a journalist, I need to be aware of what is
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How many nights had I swapped hours of sleep for hours of pointlessly scrolling through Instagram?
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started to put my phone on silent and place it on the other side of the room, this way I actually sleep instead of lying in bed and Googling answers for every single question I can think of. What have I found out from this little experiment? Well, to start with, I’m a lot more awake and alert. (This probably has something to do with the extra sleep.) Which means that I’m more focused, therefore I’m less stressed and that makes me a lot happier! Everyone should unplug themselves from their device and see what they're missing out on!
happening around me at all times so I started a phone detox. This doesn’t mean that I have stopped using my phone all together; it just means that I have limited the amount of time that I can spend on it. Surprisingly, it was easier to do than I thought it would be. In the morning I check my messages and then it goes straight into my bag until I’m at work. When I’m with my friends, all of our phones now go face down in a pile on the table so that none of us are tempted to start scrolling through Instagram. At night time I have channel 159 or at thelatest.tv
Rap fans were in their element on November 19 as English rapper Sneakbo performed at the King of Clubs club event in Shooshh. The rapper, best known for his song ‘The Wave’, not only performed his set but also got to know his fans. He got the crowd involved in chants and performed closely to all of the people that had come to see him. Noticeably, there weren’t any security guards following him around the room and instead the rapper integrated himself amongst the audience. Sneakbo was recently featured in the new song ‘We Don’t Play No Games’ alongside artists Tinie Tempah and MoStack.
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012_LS757_speckywren_Layout 1 27/11/2015 12:33 Page 1
SPECTACULAR Have the best-dressed eyes in town with The Specky Wren in Brighton ith a wealth of experience in the optical industry, Marco Wren (MCOptom) and David Carmichael were inspired to create their own boutique opticians in the heart of Brighton. The Specky Wren has an ‘everybody’s welcome’ attitude with the emphasis on providing you with an amazing experience. They provide comprehensive eye tests, fit all types of contact lenses, with NHS patients welcome. The Optometrist’s focus is solely on your care and wellbeing. A detailed and thoughtful eye test with the Optometrists will check vision, ocular health, and for a range of eye conditions. The team hand picks every frame range we have in the practice. This ensures that glasses are well made and spectacularly stylish. Specky Wren have a fabulous range to fit all budgets, face shapes and sizes. They believe that glasses can be a great expression of your personality and style, and love working with you to find that perfect pair. The Specky Wren, The Open Market, 1–2 Marshalls Row, Brighton BN1 4JU, 01273 911191, info@thespeckywren.co.uk, www.thespeckywren.co.uk
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PUBLIC NOTICE THE LICENSING ACT 2003 (PREMISES LICENCES AND CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATES) REGULATIONS 2005 Regulation 25 Advertisement TO: WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I Nicholas James Sandford do hereby give notice that it is my intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for the variation of a premises licence or club premises certificate to use or permit the use of premises known as 176 Hangleton Road, Hove BN3 7LT for the following licensable activities/proposed varitation which it is proposed will be carried on, on or from the premises: On line sales of alcohol *In the case of an application for a provisional statement, representations are restricted after the issue of a provisional statement
The Duke of York's Picturehouse, the oldest function-built cinema in the UK, celebrates its 105th birthday this year. During this momentous time, we have undergone a refurbishment, installing new state-of-the-art projection and sound facilities that ensure our cinema is the best option for lovers of film this winter.
Any person who desires to make a representation to the variation, should send to Head of Planning and Public Protection, Health & Safety and Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JP no later than 21st December 2015 brief written statement of the grounds of his/her objection. The register and records of applications may be viewed at the above council office during normal office hours; summaries are available via www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/licensing.
We have also teamed up with local partners Pizzaface to bring visitors a selection of pizzas to enjoy before, after, or during out films. We endeavour to bring Brighton's audiences the best from across the cinematic spectrum in a comfortable, accommodating, and historic setting that is truly like no other. So join us and experience film in the way it should be enjoyed.
Preston Circus, BN1 4NA
DukeofYorks
01273 818 549 / 0871 902 5728
@DukeofYorks
It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5]. Dated this: 25th day of November 2015 Signed:
www.picturehouses.co.uk
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013_LS757_theatreroyal_Layout 1 27/11/2015 10:18 Page 1
he world’s favourite Rock ‘n’ Roll musical, Richard O’Brien’s Rocky Horror Show, is back at Theatre Royal Brighton by popular demand, opening on Thursday 17 December. Rocky Horror Show tells the story of Brad and his fiancé Janet, two squeaky clean college kids who meet Dr Frank’n’Furter by chance when their car breaks down outside his house whilst on their way to visit their former college professor. It is an adventure they’ll never forget, with frothy fun, frivolity, frolics, and, of course, those famous frocks. This thrilling show bursts at the seams with timeless classics including Sweet Transvestite, Science Fiction/Double Feature, Damn It Janet and of course, the pelvic thrusting Time Warp. X Factor finalist Diana Vickers will star in the role of Janet. S Club 7 star, Paul Cattermole, will play the role of Eddie and Dr. Scott. Emmerdale actor Ben Freeman plays Brad Majors. Steve Punt is narrator. Diana Vickers first came to public attention in 2008 when she was a finalist on The X Factor. Diana starred in the West End production of The Rise and Fall of Little Voice, for which she received Whatsonstage.com Theatregoers’ Choice ‘London Newcomer of the Year’ Award. Paul Cattermole has just completed the sold out S Club 7 Bring It All Back 2015 UK Tour with the other members of S Club 7 after they recently reformed. The group had four number one singles and a number one album, as well as a series of TV shows including Viva S Club.
LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN
Ben Freeman
Diana Vickers
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RICHARD O’BRIEN’S ROCKY HORROR SHOW IS BACK FOR AN HILARIOUS CROSSDRESSING CHRISTMAS TREAT
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Paul Cattermole
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Ben Freeman is best known for playing the role of Scott Windsor in Emmerdale, but he also starred on stage in the West End productions of Legally Blonde, Dreamcoats and Petticoats and Wicked. Steve Punt has been half of Punt and Dennis for many years, ever since Barry Punt left to pursue other projects and Steve happened to have the right surname. He has co-hosted 45 series of The Now Show on Radio 4 since it started in 1998. Steve also presents the university quiz The Third Degree and the lighthearted investigative show Punt PI for Radio 4. TV writing/performing includes Canned Carrott, The Mary Whitehouse Experience, Punt and Dennis, Mock the Week and Horrible Histories. In 2011 he played Eric Idle in BBC4's Holy Flying Circus. He has toured extensively with Hugh Dennis to theatres all over the country. His experience in musicals is frankly quite limited. He was once in a school production of The Yeoman of the Guard in which he played a Young Maiden of the Tower, but his voice broke half-way through. Rocky Horror Show is one long party, the boldest bash of them all, so sharpen those stilettos and get ready for the biggest bash in town! Don’t dream it, be there – Christmas 2015! Rocky Horror Show Thursday 17 Dec – Saturday 2 Jan www.atgtickets.com/brighton 0844 871 7650 (bkg fees)
Steve Punt
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014_LS757_science/brighton'sarty_Layout 1 27/11/2015 15:36 Page 1
SCIENCE UNLOCKING POTENTIAL
BRIGHTON’S ARTY ALISON KROG
BAG A BARGAIN AT NEH
Dr Caroline Oprandi keeping you up to date with science & technology at PACA or our STEM astronomy topic I have various famous faces on the board for the pupils to identify: Galileo, Newton, Einstein, Stephen Hawkins and one woman. Without fail every class has said, “oh she’s the woman who discovered something about radiation, about chemistry” and they get there in the end identifying her as Marie Curie. The thing is, it’s not Marie Curie. This firstly highlights that the pupils don’t know how to recognise Marie Curie and secondly that individuals really struggle to come up with other famous women scientists. The woman is in fact Cecilia Payne, who in 1925 discovered that stars are mainly made up of hydrogen and helium. Being a woman, there was no future for Cecilia at the University of Cambridge and so she moved to America to complete her studies. It is very difficult to come up with famous woman scientists when looking back through the history of science and that is because women were not considered worthy of having an education. Education Society and the for women Catholic Church have throughout the made huge advances world is key throughout the 1900s making the seemingly impossible, possible. Women are now treated as equal to men in the great university establishments and the Catholic church is able to accept scientific theories that are in direct contradiction to the teachings of the Bible. Finally, who would’ve thought that in 2015 we would have our first female Bishop Rachel Treweek, the Bishop of Gloucester, sitting in the House of Lords! The question remains “why did it take so long?’” On the day I decided that I really wanted to get back into education, I was chatting to my boss Jennifer at the time on a terrace in Marseille. When we entered the conference hall, we were horrified to see streaming onto the huge conference screens live footage of a plane striking the World Trade Centre. The date was September 11, 2001. On everyone’s lips was the question “why?”. Mohammed Hanif had an answer and writing in the Guardian in November 2012 said, “the Taliban’s main fear is not drones but educated girls”. In the West we have a not too distant history where it seemed impossible for women to have a decent education and consequently develop “equal rights”. The snowball effect of women having an education has lead to what would in the past seem unthinkable: a female Bishop sat in the House of Lords. In order to make the seemingly impossible, possible, education for women throughout the world is key. Portslade Aldridge Community Academy (PACA) is a college offering sixth form, 11-16 years, youth centre, adult learning, community education, sports centre and pre-school. Find out more at www.paca.uk.com
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here’s not much to commend the architectural aesthetics of New England House. But secreted inside this looming bulk of a building is a hotbed of Brighton’s most exciting creative talents. So take the opportunity to explore the many studios that will be opening their Jake Spicer doors for a Christmas show that promises artists, designers and makers selling beautiful, high-quality gifts. Highlights include paintings and drawings by Jake Spicer; Rowena Gilbert’s contemporary ceramics and Cara Tonkin’s stunning silver jewellery. But that’s just a smidgen of the amazing range of glassware, textiles, fashion and accessories, children’s wear and much more that you will be able to peruse and purchase direct from their Cara Tonkin creators. It’s the perfect opportunity to pick up truly unique Christmas pressies – and support the city’s wealth of creativity. (There’ll be mince pies and mulled wine, too.) From Thursday 10 December to Saturday 12 December (12-8pm). Don’t miss: From one of Brighton’s behemoths, to another extreme. In the delightfully diminutive Brush gallery on Gloucester Road, local legend Romany Rowena Gilbert Mark Bruce is having his first solo exhibition in three The collection years. merges effortlessly ‘Women and between figurative and Abstracts’ abstract expressionism will feature all new work – some inspired by the artist’s trip to Ecuador in 2014. Romany has had a prolific period producing this new collection, which merges effortlessly between figurative, abstract expressionism and the space in between. A specially commissioned, limited-edition giclée print of FACE (featured here) is being produced for this exhibition and a percentage of any sales from the print will be donated to The Sussex Beacon, of which Romany is a patron. Opens 28 November. www.artymagazines.com Twitter @brightonsarty
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015_LS757_buses/commutable_Layout 1 27/11/2015 12:26 Page 1
COMMUTABLE WILL HARRIS
GET ON BOARD BRIGHTON & HOVE BUSES
Sympathy for those that travel the wrong side of sunrise
Take the kids Xmas shopping by bus for free
ne of my favourite things about going away on holiday, believe it or not, is the early morning run to the airport. Waking up in the wee small hours (that's if you've been able to sleep and haven't lain awake like an over-excited child listening for Santa), stumbling around and tripping over your suitcase, before bundling yourself into the pre-dawn chill, a reminder of how few hours are left before you can cast off your wintry wrappings and dive head-first into something lethal with an umbrella in it. The previous time I flew from Gatwick, it was back in Spring and I was still living in central London. A hire car ferried me through the streets of a misty capital at 4am on a Sunday, a very urban safari. At Elephant & Castle, some kind of goth night was kicking out, and the roundabout was haunted by dozens of figures dressed in black, rattling their chains and shambling, arms outstretched, towards the fried chicken shop. Further south, a young couple were entwined against the perspex of a bus stop, conjuring images from classic movies until you noticed they were backlit by an advert for Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. This time, I'm travelling from my new home in Brighton, and – as I already have a season ticket – it The crowded makes sense to aisles feel like a take the train. The first service parting shot from leaves Brighton the commuting gods Station at 05.10, and the first thing that surprises me about the first service is how busy it is. At this time in the morning, I had expected a handful of lone travellers, people whose jobs mandate an early start, like office cleaners perhaps, or Carole-with-the-weather off BBC Breakfast. Instead, by the time the train reaches Burgess Hill it is nearly full, and when we leave Haywards Heath it is standing room only. At a guess, I'd say it's carrying at least three-quarters as many passengers as my usual commute, amazing given that it won't leave Brighton until two hours later. Maybe it's because it's the first train of the day, but in my halfasleep state the crowded aisles feel like a parting shot from the commuting gods. A reminder that, however far my travels take me, the 06.57 will be waiting for me when I return. I wonder who these people are, these silent, red-eyed travellers. I wonder what they do. More than anything, I wonder if they get to clock off early as recompense for dragging themselves to their offices the wrong side of sunrise, or whether the poor sods are expected to work a full day, and get home the same time I do, or even later. I shiver at the thought. And then the train disgorges my partner and I at Gatwick, squabbling over our suitcases (and the fact neither of us has had a coffee yet) and the commuting gods reluctantly relinquish their hold over me. You'll be back, I imagine them saying, in the sing-song voice of a platform announcement. You'll be back and we'll be waiting. So I stick two fingers up at the departing train and mince off into the airport.
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hristmas spirit has come early to Brighton & Hove buses this year with free travel for all accompanied children for the first two weekends of December. “Christmas shopping should be fun but sometimes it can be a nightmare, especially if you have to queue to find a car parking space or get stuck in Christmas congestion. It really is much easier by bus.” said Carole Richmond, Marketing Manager, Brighton & Hove buses. “You don’t need to worry about parking the car or rush around to fit everything in before your ticket runs out. And if you get stuck in traffic you can relax and enjoy a brief respite from Christmas chaos or jump off the bus and walk if you want to.
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You don’t need to worry about parking the car, or rush around to fit everything in before your ticket runs out
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“We want to make it easier to take the whole family out for a relaxed and enjoyable day out together, take the bus to the shops on 5/6 and 12/13 December and children under 16 and Bus ID holders will be able to travel free when accompanied by an adult or concessionary pass holder. Of course, children under 5 always go free on Brighton & Hove buses.” “We’d love to see pictures of you and your family enjoying your Christmas shopping by bus. Post a picture on our Facebook site or tweet us a family selfie. Let’s share the bus fun this Christmas.” This offer does not apply to night bus services. www.buses.co.uk Twitter: @BrightonHoveBus Facebook: Brighton & Hove Bus and Coach Company
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016_LS757_Bill/Oliver_Layout 1 27/11/2015 11:09 Page 1
NEW CHEEKY GUIDE TO BRIGHTON
OLIVER STEVENSON TALKS TO COUSN
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righton's best-selling guidebook is back in the shops this November with a brand new edition. Now in its 16th year, the Cheeky Guide To Brighton is as much about celebrating the people of Brighton as giving tips on where to eat, sleep and dance and which restaurants to avoid if you don't like drinking champagne out of a jam jar. Here are three of the local folk that Cheeky Guides think deserve the accolade of 'local hero'.
Disco Pete A cross between Bez and your favourite grandad, Disco Pete is a permanent fixture at any outdoor Brighton music event, usually attired in his flame shirt, bangles, beads, hat and Michael Jackson glove. Pushing eighty, Pete is so loved in Brighton that he has a hugely popular fan page on Facebook and came third in a poll by Metro on the seven best reasons to live in Brighton. Look out for him at local music festivals and indeed anywhere the sun is shining and live music is playing. Lorraine Bowen Overnight star of Britain's Got Talent and The Casio Queen Of Brighton, Lorraine is an eccentric songwriter with a massive organ collection in her loft. Such is her mania for 1980s organs that the strains of bossa-nova beats can be heard winding their way up around the vicinity of Brighton Station where she resides. “It’s the auto accompaniments I most love,” she sighs passionately. “It’s that little piece of musical history that gets me right there!” pointing to her nether regions! “Sometimes the dodgy ‘80s wiring helps to create that little bit more vibrato than Her proudest you’d expect from an possession is ordinary organ.” an original brown Her collection mainly involves the Casiotone 1981 Omnichord range but her proudest that Billy Bragg possession is an original gave her brown 1981 Omnichord that Billy Bragg gave her when she was working with him as piano player/vocal coach in the ‘90s. Lorraine is most famous for her Crumble Song, which has now been translated into five languages including Indian. She performs round the world and will accept donations of old organs (especially with dodgy wiring).
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hree and a half hours can seem like an eternity on the train, but when a shared passion for music is ignited, the journey, which began in the downstairs basement of a flat at the back of Hove Park, could yet help to create the biggest DJ duo to grace the stage in recent years. Alfie Goffey first started travelling from Bristol to Brighton to make music with his cousin, Billy, just over two years-ago. The progress that Cousn has achieved in such a short amount of time is remarkable. Alfie said: “Last summer was a bit of a blur. We kicked it off with our first ever live gig, at Glastonbury. I don’t think anyone can say that their first gig was at the world’s most renowned festival. We’re incredibly fortunate to play a headline set at Secret Garden Party; and then topped it off on the Friday night at Bestival.” With enthusiasm and determination in abundance, the most impressive aspect is their awe-inspiring passion. Last time they got together, in September, they did nothing but eat, drink and sleep music. “For five solid days we made tunes in my bedroom,” said Billy. “Anything from dark techno to funky house. We like to mix it up, at no point will we set out to make music that fits a particular genre; it just all comes together. “All we ate was pot noodles and cereal. It’s what music does to you, when you put your mind to it, you don’t want to do anything else.” In May they were picked up by Grade Management, a Bristol-based artist Management Company that represents Ben Pearce, Eats Everything and Seth Troxler. So far, apart from their summer exploits, Cousn have only played a handful of sets, mainly in barns across the West Country. Alfie said: “We’re always making and producing songs. We’ve got enough tracks to release an album, but for us it’s about EPs. ‘A Family Affair Vol. 6’ came out a while ago but we feel as though we’ve got enough music produced to last We’re incredibly us some time so fortunate to play we can focus on a headline set at doing gigs.” Billy added: Secret Garden Party “It’s hard with where we both live, but with Grade being based in Bristol, it’s made sense to look for gigs out there at the moment. But most importantly, we want to make it in Brighton.” Their educational life is also centred on their musical ambitions. Alfie has just started a three-year music production degree in Bristol, while Billy is studying a one-year diploma at Access to Music. Once the course has finished, he plans to move up to Bristol so he can be closer with his cousin. “It’ll make a lot of sense if I move west. We’ll still be looking to perform in Brighton but logistically it makes sense,” said Billy. With their horizons seemingly limitless, I pressed to discover how serious they really are about the future. The pair said without hesitation: “We want to be bigger than Disclosure.”
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Birdy Man Birdy Man can be seen wandering through North Laine most weekends when the sun is shining, though to be honest you'll hear him long before you see him. While best known as the nattily attired purveyor of imitation bird whistles, Tim (as he's known to his mum) is also an actor and demonstrates the lengths people in Brighton will go to, to avoid getting a proper job. But don’t get any funny ideas about copying him. The brief appearance of Butterfly Man on Bond Street a few years back got his pecker up and you can guess who came off the worse. Cheeky Guide to Brighton 6th Edition is available from City Books, Kemptown Books, Waterstones, Amazon and Pussy and makes the perfect Christmas stocking filler watch on
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017_LS757_joeentertainment_Layout 1 27/11/2015 13:36 Page 1
ENTERTAINMENT JOE FULLER Sunrise and light in central Brighton this Sunday evening horal music can produce some stunning live moments, with the unity and power of great voices combining to create staggering beauty. Regardless of one's level of knowledge regarding vocal types, polyphony and so on, everyone can appreciate a truly fine voice. The Brighton Singers present a programme of uplifting and atmospheric contemporary choral works this Sunday – plus Elgar's lilting Serenade for Strings performed by the Regent's Orchestra conducted by Peter Michael Davison. The Brighton Singers are a local choir who invite guest conductors for each of their three concerts each year. Peter Michael Davison, also based in Brighton, has collaborated with singer and BBC Radio 3 presenter Claire Martin, who praised his ability to frame the voice “beautifully and with tremendous sensitivity”. I saw Eric Whitacre conduct his own work and others at the Proms this summer and it was an immersive modern choral treat. His 'Lux Aurumque' is a Christmas piece based on a Latin poem of the same name, which translates as "Light, warm and heavy as pure gold, and the angels sing softly to the new born baby". This a cappella version became known through Whitacre's internet project Virtual Choir in 2009 and has a simple melodic quality that is typical of much of his work. Although he is a little divisive in the classical world, I think he's a great crossover artist and is certainly worth checking out at this concert. Though brief, Elgar's Serenade is a delight and shows the composer’s early mastery of writing for strings. The Sunrise Mass is written by Ola Gjeilo for 8-part choir with string ensemble. It is described by the composer as evolving from the most transparent and spacey, to something completely earthy and grounded; from nebulous and pristine to more emotional and dramatic, and eventually warm and solid. Also featured are Richard Rodney Bennett's charming 5 Christmas songs: ‘There is no rose’, ‘Out of your sleep’, ‘That younge child’, ‘Sweet was the song’ and ‘Susanni’. Think songs less in the Bing Crosby sense and more in the choral vein, like in Home Alone 2 when Kevin is singing and pushes his cousin over, causing a scene. (You can tell it's getting close to Christmas because I have Home Alone and The Muppet Christmas Carol on my mind.) The choir will also perform other delightful a cappella works by Bob Chilcott, Franz Biebl and Pavel Chesnokov. The concert starts at Everyone can 5.30pm in the middle of appreciate a town, so you can pop down after you've truly fine voice finished your Christmas shopping for the day. The programme is a brilliant mix of accessible music so should be good fun, and there will be mulled wine and mince pies too! The Brighton Singers, St Paul's Church, West Street, Sunday 6 December, 5.30pm, £10/£8 concession tickets available on the door
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018_LS757_STAGE_Layout 1 27/11/2015 13:20 Page 1
STAGE ANDREW KAY CHOIR AS FOLK Brighton sings out for Christmas oin Brighton Festival Chorus (BFC), Brighton Festival Youth Choir and resident orchestra Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra for this annual highlight – a joyous celebration of the very best in Christmas music, from traditional to modern, including all your best loved carols and festive favourites. This is an ideal concert for the whole family, where everyone in the audience gets to sing their favourite carols together in the wonderful space of the Brighton Dome Concert Hall. James Morgan, the Music Director of BFC, says, “It’s lovely to be part of what is becoming the start of the Christmas festivities for many families in Sussex – we get to perform all the well-known traditional carols as well as introduce our audience to some fantastic new ones. The combination of symphony orchestra, organ, massed choirs and the audience singing together is always a very special moment in the year for us.” Another popular tradition is that children in the audience submit jokes during the interval, which are read out by James during the second half of the concert. For the first time this year, a member of the audience will conduct the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah. Ticket holders enter the competition by submitting their name by email to marketing@bfc.org.uk with Hallelujah as the subject line. The draw will be held during the concert and the winner will be invited to the conductor’s podium. Brighton Festival Youth Choir will perform the lovely song Caresse sur l’océan from the 2004 film The Chorus (Les choristes), the carols Torches and Papa Noel, and the Lily Allen cover version of Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, from the John Lewis television advertisement of Christmas 2013. BFC will perform two famous choruses from Handel’s Messiah – And the Glory of the Lord and Hallelujah (the latter conducted by a member of the audience, as mentioned above!). BFC will also sing Britten’s solemn Chorale after an Old French Carol (with lyrics by W.H. Auden) and Poulenc’s jubilant and quirky Hodie Christus natus est (Today Christ is Born). The beautiful Sussex Mummers’ Carol was sung in a play by a group known as Christmas Mummers in the Horsham area around 1880, and will be performed in this concert in a new arrangement by Morgan Pochin. Christmas Concert with Brighton Festival Chorus, Brighton Festival Youth Choir and Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Saturday 12 December 2015, 6 pm Brighton Dome Concert Hall Tickets: £12.50, £15, £20, £25 (under 16s half price) www.brightondome.org or call 01273 709709
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RAINBOW CHORUS & WORLD AIDS DAY Brighton boasts a number of excellent choirs and in particular those that spring from the LGBT community. Once again they get together to celebrate in music and song World Aids Day. Always a hugely popular and stirring event the World Aids Day concert takes place at 7.30pm on Tuesday 1st December in St Mary the Virgin church on corner of St James’ St and Upper Rock Gardens. Performers this year will include Rainbow Chorus, Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus, Actually Gay Men's Chorus, Brighton Belles, Resound, Rebelles and Qukelele. Rainbow Chorus also have their annual Christmas concert – “Do You Hear The Rainbows Sing?” – on Saturday 5th December at 7.30pm in St Georges Church, Kemptown. This year the programme will include a mix of Christmas and seasonal music and songs from Les Miserables. Congratulations too to Aneesa Chaudhry. Aneesa is a popular vocal performer with a repertoire that ranges from jazz classics through pop standards to exciting new compositions that she creates in collaboration with her musical colleagues Bliss Art. She is Musical Director for several choirs in including Rainbow Chorus and has now been appointed to the prestigious role of Musical Director of the European Queer Choir. The choir has been invited to perform at the biggest LGBT choir festival in the world, GALA festival which takes place in Denver USA next July with around 6,000 singers. Along with Martin Brophy MBE, GALA Choruses, Aneesa will be leading a weekend of fun and creative rehearsals in London on 2224th April 2016 where you will all have a chance to meet all of the other singers in the European Queer Choir. If you would like to represent Europe and sing in this choir please contact Aneesa Chaudhry (aneesachaudhry@googlemail.com) or Martin Brophy (martin.brophy@fruitvox.org)
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019_LS757_comedy/music/chart_Layout 1 27/11/2015 14:25 Page 1
MUSIC JEFF HEMMINGS
LATEST MUSIC CHART
Benjamin Clementine – The recently crowned Mercury Music Prize winner aving just been announced as the winner of the Mercury Music Prize for his debut album, there should be heightened interest in his forthcoming Brighton gig at the atmospheric St. George’s Church. Some of you may have caught his gig in May as part of the Brighton Festival, when he was still a relative unknown, but he beat off some stiff competition in the form of Aphex Twin, Gaz Coombes, Florence & The Machine, Wolf Alice, Ghostpoet, Roisin Murphy, SOAK, Jamie xx, Slaves, Eska and C Duncan to win the highly prestigious award and a cheque for £20,000. Asking all the other nominations to come onto the stage, Clementine broke down as he dedicated the award to Paris, a city he had spent several years, and where he was ‘discovered’. This part of his life and his
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upbringing are areas he is continuously reticent to talk about. “I don’t want to talk about that, I’d rather we talked about the music,” he says. But to fill in the gaps: Clementine is form Guyanan parents, and grew up in Edmonton, North London, learning the piano from an early age. He apparently fell out with his parents, and ended up living in Camden where he struggled to make ends meet. He then decided to go to Paris, and it was here that he became a singer, busking on the streets and subways of Paris. He was then discovered, and the rest as they say is histoire…
As for his music, it’s one of a kind, a style developed in close-toisolation, but inspired by the poets and singers he came across whilst in Paris. His broad-based tenor combines with his untrained piano playing in creating mesmerising, atmospheric, emotional and dramatic pieces. “I am an expressionist; I sing what I say, I say what I feel and I feel what I play by honesty,” he says. “The minute I stop singing, I’m back to being shy,” he says. “I’m soft-spoken because I never really talked to people,” he has said. “ I still don’t talk to people much; I talk to myself a lot. Only in the last couple of months have I started to talk to people more.” Now that he is Mercury Music Prize winner for 2015, a lot more people will be wanting to talk to him, but more importantly, hear his wonderful music. St. George’s Church, Thurs 3 Dec, 7.30pm, £18.50
Latest Brighton Download Chart
TOP 20 Another week and another great music chart for you! Listen online to get your favourite to the top and to submit your own tracks.
1 Lewis Bootle Do What I Need 2 The Black Fields The Fighter 3 Panos Christofi Unchain My Heart (Live) 4 Rise Of The Ziggurat Snowy Park 5 Arthur & The Pickled People Rainbow 6 Mr resonate Selfie sheep 7 Boa Marks Electro Gonzalis
COMEDY VICTORIA NANGLE
8 hedley aswas 9 Asher Fynn Love is a Dependency
And now for something completely different... good old while ago you used to see comedian Terry Alderton on primetime telly. A couple of years ago he did a show explaining why that wasn’t the case anymore. He’d burnt bright and strongly, but Alderton hadn’t felt true to himself and had decided to embrace the outsider he felt he was and abandon the mainstream humour for a darker, quirky, frivolously twisted tone he is now critically acclaimed for. He changed. Comics change. Most examples aren’t that obvious. It’s not like many of us have the time to follow comics relentlessly, noting the nuances of their attitudes, methods and delivery. And even if you do, unless all of the shows are released on DVD – a one step removed experience from a live show, anyway – it’s hardly as if you get the opportunity to directly see a comic’s moves and changes in a compare-and-contrast environment. Except you do this
10 Alternate Function Tests and Tasks
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watch on
channel 8,
weekend. Paul Foot is bringing three of his shows to town, written between 2009 and 2011, and performing them over three consecutive nights. He explained his reasons thus; “While this might seem an unusual idea, I want to do this because all three of these shows are very different from one another and were all created in a short period of time.” It’s something of a personal challenge and a real treat for any Paul Foot fan, whose flights of fancy off the beaten track have caught attention and resulted in turns on ‘Never Mind The channel 159 or at thelatest.tv
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Buzzcocks’ and ‘Russell Howard’s Good News’. Foot explains; “One is a show about structure with an unexpected ending, one is built around fantasies of my mind, whilst the other has two pieces which are uncompromising and extreme, but in different ways.” It’s enticing and different and quite brave on the part of Foot to showcase his retrospective so clearly. And it’s a weekend of laughter from out of leftfield, from the talent that took Foot all the way to finalist in NBC’s ‘Last Comic Standing’. A truly unique comedian, continuing to push ideas and successfully walk to the beat of his own drum. Paul Foot – By The Yard, Friday 4 December; Paul Foot – Still Life, Saturday 5 December; Paul Foot – Kenny Larch Is Dead; Sun 6 Dec, Brighton Dome, Studio Theatre, £15.50 each or £37.50 for all three shows, brightondome.org
11 Sia-Apantha-Cali From The Inside 12 Sweet Jonny Carpe Diem 13 Tenderhooks Curtain Twitcher 14 The 1920 Club Grandad 15 SuicideDefects With A Title Like This You’d Thikn This Was A Song By Fall Out Boy 16 Tony Blair Witch Project Let’s Have Some Good Times 17 tenek State Of Mind 18 Swarf Parlour Tricks 19 The Popguns BN3 20 MIGHT Fate
TO LISTEN TO TRACKS & TO SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC & VIDEOS GO TO www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart
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LATEST 7
020_LS757_mikeward/reviews_Layout 1 27/11/2015 12:27 Page 1
MIKE WARD AT LARGE
REVIEWS
RICE REPAIR JOB or this week's column I'd been planning to write an in-depth analysis of ITV's I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, to coincide with the nail-biting final stages of this year's competition. But then something rather significant occurred to me. Namely, that I couldn't be bothered. So instead I'd like to talk about Asda wholegrain rice. Not just about Asda wholegrain rice, obviously. I'm not some sort of weirdo. No, I'd also like to talk about dog-walking, drizzle and my iPhone 6Plus. Specifically, I wanted to share with you an amazing scientific discovery that I made this week – or at least I thought I'd made – involving all four of those things. You see, as someone who watches a lot of TV for a living, and as someone who also has a dog that needs a lot of walking, the fact that the iPhone lets me do both those things at once (in safe surroundings, let me stress) has been a godsend. The only snag, as I learned the other day, is that using your iPhone in the rain can make it a bit poorly. Specifically what happened, after about 40 minutes of getting it intermittently splattered, was that it died. It did reincarnate itself fairly swiftly, but with one major problem. Its speakers were – and forgive the technical jargon here – totally screwed. Not so much as a bleat out of them. Back home, and in some despair, I resorted to Google in search of a cure and eventually found one that sounded suitably desperate. "Bury your rain-wrecked device overnight in uncooked rice," it basically suggested. "The grains will gradually soak up the moisture and dry out the waterlogged circuitry. Oh, and don't be such a twonk next time." So, figuring I had little to lose, that's exactly what I did. I can't say I was hugely optimistic, but 17 hours later I pulled it out and – blimey and gosh – the speakers Using were indeed as good as new! You can imagine my utter your nerdy joy. And what an amazing iPhone in the discovery. I just had to share it. "Hey, you'll never guess what rain can make it a bit poorly I've just done to fix my waterlogged phone?!" I remarked to my daughter. "You buried it in rice overnight, I assume?" she replied. "Yeah, everyone does that..." Well, fantastic. Talk about having the wind taken out of my sails. I may fancy myself as ahead of the game when it comes to gadgets, but clearly I'm a total dinosaur when it comes to the properties of foodstuffs. Tonight I shall submerge my slightly temperamental laptop in a bath of Ambrosia custard. Come on, what's the worst that could happen..? Oh yeah, good point. Mike Ward is the TV Critic of the Daily Star and the TV Editor of the Daily Express Saturday magazine. Hear him every Monday afternoon with Guy Lloyd on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 Twitter: @mikewardontv
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The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar, 22 November 2015 ★★★★★ Mixing the raucous roaring of death metal with the eerie call of the musical saw, The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing are steampunk rocking pirates, demanding their nineteenth century tipple of ‘gin!’ and shouting of vermin infestations and Charlie Darwin. At times there’s a joyful thrashing mob mentality, enjoyably perverse in its focus on ideas and details, and at other moments tunefully gothic, subverting the ghost story with an atheist’s perspective. Gleeful, immersive, true – this striking steampunk band of proud misfits is where you’d truly find the Bill Sykes criminals, shouting, roaring and unapologetically revelling in their exploits. Victoria Nangle Hatful of Rain The Old Market, 21 November 2015, ★★★★★ Local band Hatful Of Rain entertained with soulful lyrics, striking harmonies, and melodic bluegrass sounds. With a mixture of traditional folk tunes and stories, and poignant original pieces, their music was both toe-tapping fun and very moving. Each member of the four person band – three men and one woman – balanced the others beautifully, creating a rich, smooth, blended sound. While Chloe sang lead vocals on most songs, other band members took turns also, whilst the remaining three singing back-up melodies and harmonies, sometimes switching lead singer mid-song, resulted in a sound that was more than the sum of its parts. Laura Fernandez-Kayne Ed Byrne – Looking In 24 November 2015, The Old Market, ★★★★★ Routines about bad dates, bad gigs and being a father were never going to win prizes for comic originality but proving the cliché that there are no such things as hack topics, only hack comedians, Ed Byrne gave a masterclass in accessible comedy. Byrne’s energetic and informal delivery hides strong writing and ideas; a real gem being the routine about the hang ups he wants to pass on to his kids. Ably supported by Tiff Stevenson, this was a strong show that would equally appeal to both seasoned aficionados and those who’ve never seen live comedy before. Simon Plotkin Cinecity: The Forbidden Room Duke of York’s, 22 November 2015, ★★★★★ Director Guy Maddin has created a loving tribute to the melodrama and excitement of early cinema, featuring kaleidoscopic film effects and episodic dreamlike sequences. Loosely framed by a funny howto-use-a-bath training film – or a submarine crew in peril, or a woodsman saving a stolen woman from wolves, depending on how you look at it – the film hurtles from one surreal story to the next. Expect murder, mystery, the devil, duality of the self, poisonous skeletons, and much more. The woodsman’s tale (a fiery, strange turn from Roy Dupuis) is the most gripping and intelligible, although one’s concentration waned in the middle with a few weaker stories. Overall however the film is an exhilarating, messy, intoxicating spectacle. Joe Fuller
www.thelatest.co.uk
LATEST 7
021_LS757_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/11/2015 10:55 Page 1
TUESDAY 1 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas Channel 4, 8pm Who says a top notch classy Christmas has to cost the earth? Our Kirstie has some very useful tips, this week all the way from Switzerland. How to make a fabuloso garland, boozy fondue, and personalised paper-cut pictures are all on the bill, as well as some helpful upcycling ideas.
Capital BBC1, 9pm This slice of life drama takes a nasty turn when the ‘We Want What You Have’ campaign takes a turn for the worse. Not that what the inhabitants of Pepys Street is all that, as their fortune continues to dive – Arabella finds out that Roger has hired a stunner to help with the kids, and Petunia’s health is not good.
Grand Designs Property More4, 7.55pm Some people have a dream. And that dream takes precedence over experience of knowledge of what the heck they are doing. Such is the dream of Gwynn and Kate, who fall in love with a classic 1920s cinema and determine to turn it into their new family home. Kevin McCloud does his usual doubting face at them.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 The Music of Barry Mills 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Drop the Puck 2.30 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 The Music of Barry Mills 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Rosies 7.00 Get Up And Go Fitness show with a team of trainers covering a range of different techniques. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Digital Nation From north, south, east and west, the most inspiring, amazing and amusing stories of the week. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 The Long Lost Shows Show Nostalgia from the golden years of British TV. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Brighton Album Chart Show A new concept in TV charts. Our monthly top 10 is compiled solely from albums bought in Brighton's independent store, Resident Records. 11.30 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff present a covers special with music by Revolting Cocks, Take That, Limp Bizkit, Olivia Newton John and Sex Pistols. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 The Rosies 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Digital Nation 3.00 Latest News 3.30 The Long Lost Shows Show 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 5.30 Under The Radar
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6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As everyone prepares for the outcome of Jade’s hearing, Shabnam drops a bombshell. 8.00 Holby City Hospital drama. Arthur pulls out all the stops to help a grieving patient and save his friendship with Morven. Zosia’s future on Darwin is threatened under Jac’s new regime. Can she fight to save her position? 9.00 Capital See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... David Chipperfield: A Place To Be? Internationally renowned British architect David Chipperfield puts substance before image, and isn’t interested in a building’s iconic presence on a skyline. ‘How many squiggles can a city take?’ he once asked. He has been described as classical, minimalist, simple, but if there is a word he would like to apply to his architecture, it is ‘humane’. 11.50 FILM: Possession (2002) Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Anna Massey, Aaron Eckhart, Jeremy Northam. Romantic drama about two academics attempting to hold on to a dramatic discovery before it falls in to the hands of a rival. 1.25am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.30 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball talks to the lucky couple who managed to avoid elimination at the weekend. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Marcus Wareing, Monica Galetti and Gregg Wallace continue their search for the country’s next culinary superstar. 9.00 The Great Pottery Throw Down It’s semi-final week in Stokeon-Trent and just five potters remain, determined to secure their place in the final. For their main make, the potters face their most technically demanding challenge yet - creating a decorative chandelier in bone china. 10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and the team return for another series of the topical comedy. Featuring guests James Acaster, Ed Byrne, Gary Delaney and Sara Pascoe. 10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Race To Super Bowl 50 Mark Chapman presents American football highlights. 12.00am Snooker: UK Championship 2015 Highlights 12.50 Snooker: UK Championship Extra 2.50 Sign Zone: The Hunt 3.50 Sign Zone: Don’t Panic - How To End Poverty In 15 Years
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale A terrified Chas is pushed to breaking point. Robert gives Andy a warning. 7.30 Countrywise Series celebrating rural Britain. Paul Heiney is on a very special farm in Snowdonia where cutting edge technology and old fashioned farming methods are coming together to protect this precious environment. 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! Movie star Harry Hill returns to the small screen to skewer more home videos with his unique observations. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present more celebrity jungle action live from Australia. The celebrities battle hunger, the jungle and each other as the end of their jungle stay draws ever nearer. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 The Jonathan Ross Show Star-studded chat show hosted by Jonathan Ross. This week, Jonathan talks to actors Idris Elba and Liv Tyler, veteran broadcaster Sir David Attenborough and comedy creation Keith Lemon. 11.50 Benidorm Cocktail waiter Jason Gallagher turns up at the Solana looking for bar work. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Oxford Street Revealed 11.45 Rip Off Britain: Food 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless
6.00am Fake Britain 6.45 Oxford Street Revealed 7.30 Bargain Hunt 8.15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 1000 Heartbeats 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase
6.00am Countdown 6.45 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leela is like a raging bull at the Lomaxes’ after the previous night’s revelations. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas See highlights. 9.00 The Murder Detectives Dramatic documentary series which follows every twist and turn of a police investigation into the horrific murder of a Bristol teenager. In the days following Nicholas Robinson’s murder, Avon and Somerset Police have a prime suspect: 19-year-old Luchiano Barnes, who grew up in St Paul’s, Bristol. Unfortunately the police are 48 hours behind, and he has fled the UK on a flight to New York. The detectives in Bristol have circulated his details to the FBI, but he could now be anywhere. 10.00 Catastrophe Comedy. Rob tells Sharon about the situation with Olivia, but the news is not received well. 10.35 Tattoo Fixers Reality series in which tattoo artists join forces to fix the UK’s shocking tattoo catastrophes. 11.35 Revenge Porn Documentary. 12.30am PokerStars.com Shark Cage 1.30 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.55 Gillette World Sport 2.25 Race Of Champions 3.20 Race Of Champions 4.15 Location, Location, Location 5.10 Deal Or No Deal
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.05 Milkshake! Monkey 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 5 News Lunchtime 11.25 FILM: Finding Mrs Claus (2012) 1.15pm Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Dear Secret Santa (2013) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Charlotte panics and informs Hunter that they are leaving Summer Bay, but a mysterious and threatening stranger tells her to stay where she is. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors Reality documentary series featuring highlights of the elite high-speed road policing units in Lincolnshire, Durham and Cleveland. 8.00 Loch Lomond: A Year In The Wild Documentary series about the wildlife of Loch Lomond and Trossachs National Park in Scotland, filmed across one year. 9.00 Eamonn And Ruth: How The Other Half Lives Ruth and Eamonn meet the savvy entrepreneurs who have become multimillionaires themselves by supplying the ultraminted with all the luxury food, drinks and services they desire. 10.00 CSI: Cyber US tech-crime drama spin-off. Special Agent Avery Ryan and her team investigate when a man dies after taking medication he purchased from a hacked advert on a medical site. 10.55 Capital One Cup Highlights Kelly Cates presents highlights from the quarter finals of the Capital One Cup. 12.25am Law And Order 1.15 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
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12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Modern Family 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 Micky Flanagan’s Detour De France 10.00 Stop Search Seize 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 12.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 3.00 Brit Cops
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! 12.25 Family Guy 12.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 2.30 Rent A Cop 3.00 Don’t Tell The Bride
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Railway Walks With Julia Bradbury 8.00 The Fisherman’s Apprentice With Monty Halls 9.00 Power To The People 10.00 Shock And Awe: The Story Of Electricity 11.00 Tankies: Tank Heroes Of World War II 12.00am Britain’s Outlaws: Highwaymen, Pirates And Rogues
2.40pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Tricked: Favourite Tricks 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.05 Celebrity Juice: McBusted Special 11.50 Safeword 12.35am Two And A Half Men (x2)
9.35am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Wild At Heart 3.10 Where The Heart Is 4.15 Doctor At Large 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.10am Where The Heart Is
2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Melissa And Joey (x2) 4.00 Marvel’s Agents Of SHIELD 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x4) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 A To Z 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Empire 10.00 FILM: The Sitter (2011) 11.40 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.40am Rude Tube
1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Nazi Megastructures 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Penelope Keith’s Hidden Villages 7.55 Grand Designs. See highlights. 9.00 Building The Dream 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
11.00am The Spy In Black (1939) 12.40pm The River’s Edge (1957) 2.25 Destry Rides Again (1939) 4.20 The Cowboys (1972) 6.50 Rat Race (2001) 9.00 The Three Musketeers (2011) 11.15 Ghost (1990) 1.45am Paradise: Faith (2012) 4.00 Close
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022_LS757_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/11/2015 12:27 Page 1
WEDNESDAY 2 The Apprentice BBC1, 9pm Lord Sugar drops the teams into the world of mid-range and highend properties, selling to the capital’s buyers and giving the hopeful entrepreneurs just two days to see who can sell the most and get the biggest commissions. It’s shmooze versus over-familiarity, leading to a steep learning curve for some.
Toast Of London Channel 4, 10.30pm Matt Berry’s thespian creation is a bit of a meta marvel, with a history of portraying Michael Ball as a jobbing part-time bodyguard, and including the likes of Peter Davidson and John Nettles as pastiches of themselves. This new series is littered with cameos, and tonight sees the turn of Mad Mad Jon Hamm.
Supernatural E4, 10pm The Winchester boys aren’t the best at the idea of retreats and healing and building relationships an’ that, so it stands to reason the hunters they know won’t be enamoured with it either. Sheriff Jody Mills is at a mandatory sheriff’s retreat with an overeager partner, when the hell is interrupted by a body.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Digital Nation 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Doorstep History 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 The Rosies 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Digital Nation 2.00 The Rosies 2.30 Doorstep History 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Under The Radar (x2) 5.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Movie Line All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 7.00 Millionaires' Row From penthouse to pool, take an exclusive tour of exceptional, outstanding, and unique dream houses. 7.30 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates. 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Dee Kelly Asks Dee (Benefits Street and Big Brother) gets to the heart of the big issues: legal highs, FGM, immigration, mental health issues in men and more. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 F-Stop: The Turrell Brothers F-Stop showcases the best film makers, animators and video artists in the East Midlands. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 11.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Movie Line 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Dee Kelly Asks 3.00 Latest News 3.30 F-Stop: The Turrell Brothers 4.30 Latest News 5.00 On The Verge 5.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton
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6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 Cuffs Fast-paced police drama. Following revelations about his son, Ryan loses his temper, and Jake witnesses a darker side of his mentor. Carl’s chaotic personal life threatens a high-stakes case, and a runaway iguana plays cupid for Lino. 9.00 The Apprentice See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy from the Hammersmith Apollo. Asian Provocateur star Romesh Ranganathan hosts, introducing top Irish comic Jason Byrne and master of one-liners Stewart Francis. 11.05 Film 2015 Claudia Winkleman and the Film 2015 team take a critical look at the latest film releases, including Victor Frankenstein, starring Daniel Radcliffe and James McAvoy, and Christmas comedy The Night Before. 11.35 FILM: The Road (2009) Starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi SmitMcPhee, Robert Duvall, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce, Molly Parker. In a post-apocalyptic world, a father and his son fight for survival, battling against cold, hunger and gangs of cannibals. 1.20am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.25 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball gives us all the news and gossip from the Strictly Ballroom. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Marcus Wareing, Monica Galetti and Gregg Wallace continue their search for the country’s next culinary superstar. 9.00 This Is Tottenham Documentary showcasing the extraordinary spirit of ordinary residents living in one of Britain’s most vibrant and challenging constituencies. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Jack Dee and regular panellist Romesh Ranganathan are joined by Radio 1’s Greg James to discover who found themselves in negative equity after the property selling task. 10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from Wednesday’s fourth-round matches. 12.05am Snooker: UK Championship Extra 2.05 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.35 Sign Zone: Earth’s Wildest Waters - The Big Fish UK 3.35 Sign Zone: Simply Nigella
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Robert wishes Chrissie luck. Tensions rise between Doug and Zak. David becomes increasingly worried about Pollard. 7.30 Coronation Street Sarah gets the shock of her life. Carla comes to the rescue in the Bistro. Craig is left cringing when Caitlin comes for tea. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present more celebrity jungle action live from Australia. The celebrities are hungry and missing home, but they still need to win food for camp in the Bushtucker Trial. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 Jermain Defoe: Sports Life Stories The sporting documentary series looks at the stormy career of England striker Jermain Defoe, whose love of family and football has helped him overcome professional disappointment and personal tragedy. With contributions from Frank Lampard and Harry Redknapp. 11.40 River Monsters Extreme angler Jeremy Wade ventures deep into Central America in search of a killer fish which is said to leap into boats and cause fatal injuries. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 Ejector Seat 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Oxford Street Revealed 11.45 Rip Off Britain: Food 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless
6.30am Homes Under The Hammer 7.30 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 See Hear 8.45 Terry And Mason’s Great Food Trip 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Snooker: UK Championship 2015
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 1000 Heartbeats 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase
6.00am Countdown 6.45 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Alfie finds himself embroiled in a twisted love triangle after a romantic gesture goes wrong. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Supervet Documentary series following vet Noel Fitzpatrick. 9.00 The Murder Detectives Dramatic documentary series which follows every twist and turn of a police investigation into the horrific murder of a Bristol teenager in 2014. Fugitive Luchiano Barnes is under arrest for the murder of 19-year-old Nicholas Robinson. 10.00 Peep Show Comedy drama about two dysfunctional flatmates. Mark’s determination to get the woman of his dreams isn’t hindered by the fact that she has a husband. 10.30 Toast Of London See highlights. 11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts with Sean Lock, Bill Bailey and Paul Foot going up against special guest captain Sarah Millican, Rob Delaney and Romesh Ranganathan. Nina Conti joins Countdown’s resident lexicographer Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner. 12.05am Best Before: Music On 4 12.35 FILM: What Maisie Knew (2012) 2.10 FILM: Santa Fe (1951) 3.40 Food Unwrapped 4.10 Location, Location, Location 5.05 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.10 Deal Or No Deal
Channel Five
6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 5 News Lunchtime 11.15 FILM: Christmas In Conway (2013) 1.15pm Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles 3.15 FILM: Lost Letter Mysteries For Christmas (2014) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away When Ricky finds out that Kyle is thinking about leaving Summer Bay she tells him that she needs him and persuades him to stay. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Secrets Of Rome’s Colosseum Documentary in which a team of scientists and historians led by Steve Burrows, the engineer responsible for the Bird’s Nest Olympic stadium in Beijing, travel to Rome to uncover some of the engineering mysteries of the Colosseum. 8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Observational reality series filmed inside the consulting rooms at the Balham Park Surgery. 9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! Reality series following the work of High Court enforcement agents. 10.00 Suspects Improvised, fly-onthe-wall-style crime drama series focusing on the work of three London detectives. 11.00 Capital One Cup Highlights Highlights from the quarter finals of the Capital One Cup. 12.00am Criminals: Caught On Camera 12.30 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit 1.15 SuperCasino 3.10 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 House Doctor Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Modern Family 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 You, Me And The Apocalypse 10.00 Prison: First And Last 24 Hours 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 12.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Don’t Take My Baby 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 Josh 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 Josh 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.30 Don’t Take My Baby 3.30 Josh
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Railway Walks With Julia Bradbury 8.00 Britain’s Deadliest Rail Disaster: Quintinshill 9.00 Dan Cruickshank: Resurrecting History: Warsaw 10.00 FILM: Dracula (1958) 11.20 Catching History’s Criminals: The Forensics Story 12.20am The Fisherman’s Apprentice
1.40pm Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Tricked: More Favourite Tricks 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.05 The Vampire Diaries 12.00am Two And A Half Men (x2)
9.50am Judge Judy (x3) 11.05 A Touch Of Frost 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Wild At Heart 3.10 Where The Heart Is 4.15 Doctor At Large 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.05am Judge Judy
3.00pm Melissa And Joey (x2) 4.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 A To Z 8.00 FILM: Unstoppable (2010) 10.00 Supernatural. See highlights. 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Gogglebox 1.00 First Dates
11.50am FILM: Forty Guns (1957) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Nazi Megastructures 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Million Pound Properties 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Car S.O.S 10.00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 11.00 Embarrassing Bodies 12.05am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 1.05 Car S.O.S
11.00am The Thief Of Bagdad (1940) 1.10pm High Noon (1952) 2.50 The Desert Rats (1953) 4.35 Murphy’s War (1971) 6.45 The Women (2008) 9.00 Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013) 11.10 Coming To America (1988) 1.30am Paradise: Hope (2013) 3.30 Close
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THURSDAY 3 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 BBC2, 7pm Two quarter-final places are still to play for. This is perfect postwork hypnosis, combining subconscious trigonometry with pretty colours. Oh, and maths. Quite a bit of adding up, actually. All introduced as live coverage by Jason Mohammad. Tune in and be captivated.
Homeless At Christmas Channel Five, 10pm Time to count your blessings, and maybe consider what you could do to help others with less in their favour. This documentary explores the real-life stories of people facing a tough Christmas. From Cathy, who lost her job and sleeps in a bus shelter, to single mum Emily who was evicted after complaining about her home.
Scorpion ITV2, 9pm Why does anyone ever get into a submarine if they’re on a telly programme? Invariably something happens to throw it off and down it sinks to the bottom of the sea, trapping everyone and increasing your own feeling of claustrophobia in a living room that had previously felt fine. See how Walter and co surface.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Movie Line 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Millionaires' Row 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Movie Line 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Millionaires' Row 2.00 52% 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 6.30 Digital Nation The best of Local TV from across the UK. Featuring the stories you may not normally see, whether quirky, comic or hard-hitting, prepare to learn more from our local TV channels. 7.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls weekly show with Latest Sport. Featuring news about all the squads and competitions. Classic games from the club's archives and much more. 10.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 11.00 Reverb Live Live music direct from Straford Upon Avon College. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Digital Nation 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Albion Night 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Under The Radar (x2)
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Sharon tries her hardest to bring her family back together. Carmel grows suspicious of Stacey’s behaviour. 8.00 Watchdog Consumer series. In the final programme of the series, the team goes undercover to investigate what’s getting in the way of some people enjoying their Christmas party. 9.00 Doctor In The House Medical documentary series. In each episode a family invites a GP into their home to investigate every aspect of their lives. The doctor spends time with the D’Arcy family in Shropshire. Mum and dad Dotti and Russ have a love of fast food and shock the doctor with a regular family meal. Dotti discovers she has type 2 diabetes, and Rangan’s mission to correct her diet leads him to unravel the root cause of the family’s relationship with food. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Birmingham. 11.35 This Week By-Election Special A special episode of the political review, covering current byelections. 2.00am Weather For The Week Ahead 2.05 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball dishes up more backstage gossip and behind-thescenes action. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 See highlights. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals The last of the quarter-finals of the culinary competition. 9.00 The Last Kingdom Historical drama. The Danes invade Wessex and Uhtred is driven to hiding in the marshlands with King Alfred. With the life of Alfred’s child hanging in the balance, a bond is finally struck between the pagan warrior and his pious king. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howards returns to offer his unique take on the week’s global headlines and bizarre news stories. 10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 Highlights Jason Mohammad introduces highlights from Thursday’s fourth-round matches and looks ahead to Friday’s quarter-finals. 12.05am Snooker: UK Championship Extra 2.05 Sign Zone: British Bribery Exposed 2.35 Sign Zone: Dominic Sandbrook: Let Us Entertain You 3.35 Sign Zone: Doctor Who
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Chrissie waits for the verdict. Priya is determined to prove her worth. 7.30 How Safe Is Meat?: Tonight Fiona Foster investigates claims in a recent World Health Organisation report that suggests consuming processed meat can cause cancer and eating red meat can also be associated with the deadly disease. 8.00 Emmerdale Jai is unfazed by Nikhil’s accusations. Dan finds a way to cheer Kerry up. Lachlan is in the firing line. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present more celebrity jungle action live from Australia. The celebrities face another day of hardship and hunger in the jungle, but the finish line is in sight. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 Travel Guides Johnny Vegas narrates this entertaining travel series which sends the members of five ordinary British households to review some of the world’s most popular holiday destinations. The action moves on to Tenerife, one of Europe’s most popular package holiday resorts. 11.40 The Chase Quiz show. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 How Safe Is Meat?: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Oxford Street Revealed 11.45 Rip Off Britain: Food 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless
6.00am Fake Britain 6.45 Oxford Street Revealed 7.30 Bargain Hunt 8.15 MasterChef: The Professionals 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 1000 Heartbeats 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase
6.00am Countdown 6.45 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen drama. As her torment continues, Holly seeks comfort with a forbidden friend. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Secret Life Of 6-YearOlds This episode meets the sixyear-olds. Articulate and sophisticated, these children have had the benefit of two years at school and are beginning to focus much more on their own identity. Race, religion, love and death are all up for discussion in this episode. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital in south west London. Mechanic Grant, who’s 34, is rushed to A&E, having been crushed against a brick wall by his own car while he was working on it. Doctors are concerned he has a serious pelvic injury and other internal injuries and work quickly to establish how severe they are. 10.00 First Dates Dating reality series following those looking for love in a restaurant. 11.10 Gogglebox Opinionated TV viewers share their critiques of the week’s biggest shows. 12.10am Embarrassing Bodies 1.05 Liberty Of London 2.00 Unreported World 2.25 Four Rooms 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.15 You Deserve This House 5.10 Deal Or No Deal
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Wissper 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 5 News Lunchtime 11.30 FILM: The Heart Of Christmas (2011) 1.15pm Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: A Christmas Promise (2015) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away James explains that there is no record of him working at the Blue Mountains Hospital because he used his middle name. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Secrets Of Great British Castles History series presented by Dan Jones. 8.00 Alex Polizzi’s Italian Islands Travel documentary series in which Alex Polizzi explores the culture, cuisine and history of some of Italy’s most beautiful islands, and delves into her own Italian heritage. 9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild UK Documentary series in which Ben Fogle meets British people who have given up the rat race for a simple, self-sufficient lifestyle without the conveniences of modern society. Simon and Debbie swapped city life for a hidden valley smallholding in Exmoor National Park, with more than 100 animals - some kept for companionship, others destined for the table. 10.00 Homeless At Christmas See highlights. 11.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! Reality series following the work of High Court enforcement agents. debtors. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Police Interceptors: Dog Squad Special 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
12.00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Modern Family 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Supergirl 9.00 Bring The Noise 10.00 Trollied 10.30 After Hours 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 12.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x3)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rent A Cop 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 Rent A Cop 1.00 Josh 1.30 Young, Trans And Looking For Love 2.30 Live At The Apollo (x2) 3.30 Rent A Cop
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1980 8.00 Patagonia With Huw Edwards 9.00 What A Performance! Pioneers Of Popular Entertainment 10.00 Detectorists 10.30 The Life Of Rock With Brian Pern 11.00 FILM: The Curse Of Frankenstein (1957) 12.20am Top Of The Pops: 1980 1.00 Detectorists
5.00pm You’ve Been Framed! 5.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.00 The Xtra Factor 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scorpion. See highlights. 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.05 Celebrity Juice 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.45am Reality Bites
9.35am Judge Judy (x3) 10.55 A Touch Of Frost 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Wild At Heart 3.10 Where The Heart Is 4.15 Doctor At Large 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.05am Judge Judy
3.00pm Melissa & Joey (x) 4.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 A To Z 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube 1.00 Empire 2.00 Drifters
11.40am Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 11.45 FILM: The Scarlet Blade (1963) 1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team Special 3.35 Nazi Megastructures 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Million Pound Properties 7.55 Grand Designs (x2) 10.00 24 Hours In A&E (x2) 12.05am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
11.00am The Black Dakotas (1954) 12.20pm Father Goose (1964) 2.40 The Truth About Spring (1965) 4.45 The Desert Fox (1951) 6.30 Cutthroat Island (1995) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.25am The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2009) 3.35 Close
Green Diamond – something exceptional is about to happen in central Brighton – call 733334 for more details.
024_LS757_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/11/2015 12:28 Page 1
FRIDAY 4 Would I Lie To You? BBC1, 7.30pm An new series of porkies and whoppers, with Rob Brydon in the host’s chair and David Mitchell and Lee Mack returning as team captains and digging deep for new stories to test each other’s knack for finding the truth. Guests are Susan Calman, Richard Osman, Carol Kirkwood and David O’Doherty.
Artsnight BBC2, 11pm It should come as no surprise that Scissor Sisters’ front-woman Ana Matronic has been a fan of robots for quite some time. Here she explores how robots are talking over mainstream arts and culture, a point underscored by the fact she co-presents with a real robot. Traversing art and science – is any field safe?
Murder, She Wrote ITV3, 7pm How many nephews does Jessica Fletcher have? They all seem to be plagued by bad luck, and none of them ever seem to contact thier own parents in times of trouble, as opposed to good ol’ aunt Jess. Seems a bit murky to us. This week JB’s nephew sees his baseball future threatened by murder.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 You Make It, We Show It! 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Bowlegs 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 You Make It, We Show It! 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm The Long Lost Shows Show 2.30 You Make It, We Show It! 3.00 Latest TV's Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss this week’s stories. 7.00 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics and the upcoming key elections for our future. 8.30 Digital Nation The most inspiring, amazing and amusing stories of the week. 9.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton Climb aboard Nick Coquet's misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round, 30 minutes of toppermost pop music, upcycled ephemera and stunning cinematography. 9.30 Modern Toss Comedy animation and live action series. 10.00 The Long Lost Shows Show Nostalgia from the golden years of British TV. 11.00 Noise Reel 11.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 12.00am Under The Radar 12.30 The Music of Barry Mills 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 On The Verge 2.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 3.00 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 3.30 Bored Gamers Redux 4.00 Modern Toss 4.30 Digital Nation 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Would I Lie To You? See highlights. 8.00 EastEnders It’s the day of the square’s Christmas tree light switchon, but Jane finds herself distracted by Bobby. 8.30 Citizen Khan Sitcom. While trying to teach Baby Mo how to play cricket, Mr Khan discovers that his little grandson might be psychic. 9.00 Have I Got News For You Satirical news quiz. Regular team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by guest host Alexander Armstrong and guest panellists Sara Pascoe and Alex Salmond. 9.30 Peter Kay’s Car Share Comedy about two workers thrown together in a company car share scheme, forcing their paths to cross. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Joining Graham on the sofa are Chris Hemsworth, Ron Howard, Lily Tomlin, and Kevin Bridges, and music from Blake and Dame Shirley Bassey. 11.20 Josh Sitcom about flatmates. 11.50 FILM: Old School (2002) Starring Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Ellen Pompeo. Riotous campus comedy. 1.20am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.25 BBC News
6.00 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents a one hour Friday show ahead of Musicals Week, packed with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action. 7.00 Mastermind John Humphrys invites four more contenders to answer questions in the black chair. The subjects are World War II in Europe, Josephine Butler, Freemasonry and Pete Seeger. 7.30 MOTD Live: Salford City V Hartlepool United Dan Walker presents live coverage of a key tie from the FA Cup second round. At this stage last season non-league Blyth Spartans claimed the scalp of League Two side Hartlepool in the type of upset which the FA Cup so regularly produces. 10.00 An Island Parish: Falklands Series following the community on the Falkland Islands. It is the anniversary of the Battle of Mount Tumbledown and the Rev Richard Hines joins the scouts on a trek up to the summit where they honour those who died during the fierce fighting. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Artsnight See highlights. 11.35 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 Highlights Highlights from Friday’s quarter-finals. 12.25am FILM: The Salton Sea (2002) 2.00 Sign Zone: Question Time 3.00 Sign Zone: Imagine... The Last Impresario
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Megan turns to Nikhil for support. Leyla urges David to get professional help. 7.30 Coronation Street Kylie assumes the worst of her husband. How will Gail take Nick and Carla’s big news? 8.00 Gino’s Italian Escape Islands In The Sun Gino D’Acampo experiences the culture, meets the people and tastes the food of his home country as he travels around two of Italy’s major islands, Sardinia and Sicily. 8.30 Coronation Street Nick and Carla make it official. Is this the end for David and Kylie? Michael tells Gail the real reason he has been helping Dee. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present more celebrity jungle action live from Australia. The competition is ramping up and tiredness is taking over, but who is in reach of the Jungle Crown? 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 FILM: Mercury Rising (1998) Starring Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin, Miko Hughes, Chi McBride. Action thriller centred on the relationship between an FBI agent and the boy in his care. 12.45am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Oxford Street Revealed 11.45 Rip Off Britain: Food 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless
6.30am Homes Under The Hammer 7.30 Oxford Street Revealed 8.15 An Island Parish: Falklands 8.45 Great British Menu 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 1000 Heartbeats 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase
6.00am Countdown 6.45 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen drama. Patrick’s blood runs cold when something threatens to throw his masterplan off course. Robbie decides it’s time for the truth to come out. Harry’s jealous when he sees Ste and John Paul getting close again. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 TFI Friday Entertainment and music show hosted by Chris Evans. Guests include Kylie Minogue, Daniel Radcliffe, Florence and The Machine, Mumford and Sons and Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats. 9.00 Gogglebox Opinionated TV viewers share their critiques of the week’s biggest shows as they watch them. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Guests include Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. 11.05 First Dates Dating reality series following those looking for love in a restaurant. The daters this time include eccentric theology student Louisa, who feels that she lacks the ability to ‘flirt with the males’, even asking barman Merlin if curtseying is ‘a thing’. 12.10am Rude Tube 1.05 FILM: Black Swan (2010) 2.50 Four Rooms 3.45 You Deserve This House 4.40 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 4.50 Deal Or No Deal 5.40 1001 Things You Should Know
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Wissper 6.45 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 5 News Lunchtime 11.25 FILM: Deck The Halls (2006) 1.15pm Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Gifts For Christmas (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Maddy’s birthday party spirals out of control, culminating in a fight between Tank and Oscar, and a heroic act by James that leaves him hospitalised. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The UK’s Strongest Man 2015 The biggest, strongest men in the UK come together in Belfast for three days of competition in a bid to win the title. In the last day, events include Farmer’s Walk, Giant Log Press, Super Yoke, Barbell Squat and the final Strongman Flag Hoist. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Reality series. Darrell and Todd fight their way through a record-breaking snowfall. The remaining team members find themselves lost in the wild with no sign of help. 9.00 NCIS: New Orleans US crime drama spin-off. Pride suspects a mole among the ranks, as NCIS and local law enforcement continue to track the Broussard Syndicate and a potentially city-destroying threat. 10.00 NCIS US crime series. Director Vance gives DiNozzo a special assignment to bring home an admiral’s daughter from Paris. 10.55 NCIS US crime series. 11.50 Access A daily round-up of showbiz news and gossip. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Secrets Of Great British Castles 4.00 Secrets Of Rome’s Colosseum 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Modern Family 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Gordonstoun: A Different Class 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Bring The Noise 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 12.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 2.00 Road Wars
7.00pm World’s Craziest Fools 7.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 8.30 Sherlock 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! 12.20 Family Guy 12.45 Rent A Cop 1.15 Josh 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 2.30 World’s Craziest Fools
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Good Old Days 8.15 Pop Go The Sixties 8.30 Sounds Of The 70s 2 9.00 Forever Young: How Rock ‘n’ Roll Grew Up 10.00 I’m Not In Love: The Story Of 10cc 11.00 Old Grey Whistle Test: 70s Gold 12.30am Forever Young: How Rock ‘n’ Roll Grew Up 1.30 I’m Not In Love
1.40pm Dinner Date 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 FILM: Back To The Future (1985) 9.45 Fleur East: The Hot Desk 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.05 Keith Lemon’s Back T’future Tribute 12.35am Two And A Half Men (x2)
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Wild At Heart 3.10 Where The Heart Is 4.15 Doctor At Large 4.50 On The Buses 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote. See highlights. 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.00am FILM: Closing The Ring (2007) 2.55 Judge Judy
2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 A To Z 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Unstoppable (2010) 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Bodyshockers
11.25am FILM: SOS Titanic (1979) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Nazi Megastructures 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Multi-Million Pound Properties 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 24 Hours In A&E 10.00 The Returned 11.35 Father Ted (x3) 1.10am Grand Designs 2.10 Salvage S.O.S (x3)
11.00am Run Wild, Run Free (1969) 1.05pm Caprice (1967) 3.05 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 5.10 Planet Of The Apes (1968) 7.25 The Animal (2001) 9.00 Colombiana (2011) 11.10 Predators (2010) 1.20am The Girl Who Played With Fire (2009) 4.00 Close
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SATURDAY 5 Doctor Who BBC1, 8pm Hyperbole, Doctor Who writers are your friend. The Doctor has had both of his two hearts broken, been betrayed, trapped, and stripped of all he holds dear and now he returns to Gallifrey to face the Time Lords in a struggle that will take him to the end of time itself. So... no pressure there. Move along...
The Jonathan Ross Show ITV1, 10.35pm Here’s a sofa combination you never thought you’d see – tonight’s guests with Jonathan are the Bandit himself Burt Reynolds and Spaced uber-geek Simon Pegg. Of course they both have more to their names, like Star Trek and Boogie Nights, but still... Plus there’s music and chat from Coldplay.
FILM: It’s A Wonderful Life More4, 2.40pm The perfect Christmas feel for an afternoon spent writing Christmas cards, wrapping presents, and searching for the sellotape. Jimmy Stewart stars in this seasonal classic about a man and an angel (wingless but hopeful), exploring a lifetime’s worth of affecting the world. Get your tissues ready.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Bowlegs 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Noise Floor 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Under The Radar 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Noise Reel 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 11.00 Albion Night 2.00pm Teleshopping 2.30 Latest News 3.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 4.00 Latest News 4.30 Digital Nation 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Drop the Puck Drop the Puck returns for a mouthwatering clash between Deeside Dragons and Nottingham Lions. 7.30 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life by searching YouTube and getting the views of guests and the general public. 8.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 8.30 Movie Line All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 9.00 FilmFest on TV Jessica Kellgren-Hayes interviews filmmakers Thomas Smith and James Atkins, as we watch some of their best short movies. 11.00 Under The Radar 11.30 Noise Reel 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Bowlegs 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show 2.00 You Make It, We Show It 2.30 Movie Line 3.00 FilmFest on TV 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Reel
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Simply Nigella 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 4.30 Final Score 5.20 Celebrity Mastermind 5.50 BBC News
6.00 South East Today 6.10 Pointless Celebrities Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a special business edition of the general knowledge quiz. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and co-host Richard Osman, and featuring Jacqueline Gold and Richard Farleigh, Tim Campbell and Saira Khan, Michelle Mone and Declan Curry, and Peter Ratcliffe and Jeff Salmon. 7.00 Strictly Come Dancing The six remaining couples are dancing to songs from the world’s biggest musicals, competing for a place in the semi-finals. The show opens with the professional dancers and contestants performing a spectacular routine to That’s Entertainment! Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman host. 8.00 Doctor Who See highlights. 9.05 Casualty Hospital drama. The festive season is upon us, but as the harsh conditions bring some people together, others are torn apart. 9.55 The National Lottery Live 10.05 BBC News 10.25 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the day’s eight Premier League matches. 11.55 The Apprentice Lord Sugar throws the teams into the London property market to sell mid-range and high-end properties. 12.55am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.00 BBC News
BBC2
6.10am Race To Super Bowl 50 7.00 FILM: The Amazing Mr Blunden (1972) 8.35 FILM: Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008) 10.00 Ronnie’s Animal Crackers 10.30 Ronnie’s Animal Crackers 11.00 The Wonder Of Animals 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm My Life On A Plate 12.45 Len And Ainsley’s Big Food Adventure 1.30 Len And Ainsley’s Big Food Adventure 2.15 FILM: Saboteur (1942) 4.00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 4.30 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 5.30 The Great Pottery Throw Down 6.30 Dad’s Army Wartime sitcom. The platoon forego a parade in Mainwaring’s absence to compete in a darts match against the ARP wardens. When Mainwaring arrives back, he is appalled and orders Wilson to bring them back. But with two pints for the winners, the platoon are staying where they are. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 Hazel Irvine introduces live coverage as the second semi-final gets underway. A maximum of 11 frames are played this evening. 10.00 QI XL Quiz show. Stephen Fry looks at a whole kit and kaboodle of K topics. With Noel Fielding, Ross Noble, Colin Lane and Alan Davies. 10.45 FILM: Glory (1989) Starring Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Cary Elwes, Jihmi Kennedy, Andre Braugher, John Finn, Donovan Leitch, JD Cullum. Compelling drama based on the true story of a regiment of black soldiers in the American Civil War. An inexperienced white officer leads the regiment in the fight against the Confederacy. The soldiers and their commander must overcome the racism of fellow Union officers and prove their valour on the battlefield. Denzel Washington won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his role in the film. 12.40am FILM: Come As You Are (2011)
ITV1
6.00am Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.30 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures (x2) 7.00 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.05 Oddbods 7.10 Sooty 7.25 Super 4 7.40 Adventure Time 8.00 Avengers Assemble 8.30 Thunderbirds Are Go 9.00 Jessie 9.25 News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.25 Countrywise 10.55 Jeremy Kyle Show 12.00pm News 12.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.10 Judge Rinder 2.15 Doc Martin 3.20 FILM: ET: The ExtraTerrestrial (1982) 5.30 News 5.45 Catchphrase: Celebrity Couples 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special Bradley Walsh hosts as four celebrities take on the Chaser. Loose Women’s Kaye Adams, football pundit Mark Bright, ice-skating star Jayne Torvill and Good Morning Britain’s Richard Arnold pit their wits against one of the country’s finest quiz brains in the hope of winning thousands of pounds for charities. 8.00 The X Factor The singing competition reaches the semi-final stage, as the remaining acts take to the stage to perform once again. Olly Murs and Caroline Flack host while judges and mentors Nick Grimshaw, Rita Ora, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Simon Cowell take their seats behind the judges’ desk. Who will the public choose when the time comes to vote? 9.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present more celebrity jungle action live from Australia. The remaining contestants have their eyes on the prize, but who will fall at the final hurdle in the race to be crowned this year’s King or Queen of the Jungle? 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show See highlights. 11.40 ITV News; Weather 11.55 The Chase Quiz show. 12.45am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen
Channel 4
6.10am The King Of Queens 6.35 The King Of Queens 7.00 The King Of Queens 7.25 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 The Morning Line 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.55 The Big Bang Theory 12.25pm The Simpsons 12.55 The Simpsons 1.25 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.25 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.35 Come Dine With Me 6.05 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality programme. 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Great Polar Bear Feast Documentary. Scientist Todd Atwood follows the Great Polar Bear Feast in northern Alaska where each year up to 80 polar bears gather on the frozen shores of Barter Island to feast on hunter-harvested bowhead whale remains. 8.00 The World’s Weirdest Weather Documentary series exploring the mysteries behind some of the world’s most bizarre weather. A look at biblical floods, exploding rocks, alien landscapes and earthquake lightning. 9.00 FILM: Non-Stop (2014) Starring Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, Scoot McNairy, Michelle Dockery, Nate Parker, Corey Stoll. Thriller in which a veteran air marshal springs into action during a flight after receiving several text messages threatening the life of passengers on board. 11.10 TFI Friday Entertainment and music show hosted by Chris Evans. Guests include Kylie Minogue, Daniel Radcliffe, Florence and The Machine, Mumford and Sons and Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats. 12.10am FILM: The Descendants (2011) 2.10 Fargo 3.15 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.20 River Cottage Bites 5.35 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.40 1001 Things You Should Know
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.30am Children’s television 6.30 Tickety Toc 6.40 Milkshake! Monkey 6.45 Make Way For Noddy 7.00 Paw Patrol 7.15 Little Princess 7.30 Pip Ahoy! 7.45 Blaze And The Monster Machines 8.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.30 Wanda And The Alien 8.45 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 9.30 The Saturday Show 11.30 FILM: A Christmas Promise (2015) 1.15pm FILM: Hats Off To Christmas (2013) 3.00 FILM: A Snow Globe Christmas (2013) 4.50 FILM: The Christmas Spirit (2013) 6.35 5 News Weekend 6.40 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops Clip show based on the YouTube phenomenon FailArmy. 7.05 Ultimate Police Interceptors Reality documentary series featuring highlights of the elite high-speed road policing units. 8.05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! Reality series following the work of High Court enforcement agents. This week the agents face irate travellers, angry mums, distraught tenants and desperate debtors. 9.00 Football League Tonight Kelly Cates and George Riley present highlights of today’s action from the SkyBet Championship, League 1 and League 2, with special guests on hand to give their reaction to all of the big stories from the day. 10.30 Live International Boxing Mark Pougatch presents live coverage of the contest for the vacant European super-lightweight title between Lenny Daws from Morden, south London and Ruben Nieto from Madrid. The venue is the Westcroft Leisure Centre in Carshalton. Commentary by Dave Farrar and Richie Woodhall. 12.00am FILM: Reservoir Dogs (1992) 1.45 SuperCasino 3.10 Dino Autopsy: T Rex 4.50 Make It Big 5.15 Make It Big 5.45 Angels Of Jarm 5.50 Angels Of Jarm Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
12.00pm The F1 Show 1.00 Football’s Funniest Moments 1.30 Futurama (x7) 5.00 Supergirl 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Gordonstoun: A Different Class 8.00 Landscape Artist Of The Year 9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 10.00 You, Me And The Apocalypse 11.00 The Force: Manchester 12.00am Britcam: Emergency (x2)
7.00pm World’s Craziest Fools 7.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 8.30 Top Gear 9.30 Live At The Apollo (x2) 11.00 Family Guy (x6) 1.15am Rent A Cop 1.45 Josh 2.15 Live At The Apollo 3.00 World’s Craziest Fools 3.30 Josh
7.00pm Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World 8.00 Britain’s Outlaws: Highwaymen, Pirates And Rogues 9.00 The Bridge III (x2) 11.00 Catching History’s Criminals: The Forensics Story 12.00am I’m Not In Love: The Story Of 10cc 1.00 Top Of The Pops: 1980
2.25pm FILM: The Polar Express (2004) 4.20 You’ve Been Framed! 4.45 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 5.50 FILM: Lost In Space (1998) 8.20 FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 10.35 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.35 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show (x2) 12.35am Viral Tap
6.20am Where The Heart Is (x2) 8.10 A Christmas Carol 9.40 The Darling Buds Of May 10.50 Rosemary And Thyme (x2) 12.55pm FILM: Carry On Screaming (1966) 2.55 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Columbo: Now You See Him 6.55 Doc Martin 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Foyle’s War 12.05am A Touch Of Frost
12.00pm Couples Come Dine With Me (x2) 2.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 2.30 The Goldbergs (x2) 3.30 FILM: Astro Boy (2009) 5.15 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts 5.30 The Big Bang Theory (x5) 8.00 FILM: The Simpsons Movie (2007) 9.50 Gogglebox (x2) 12.00am The Inbetweeners (x2) 1.00 The IT Crowd (x2)
9.35am Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 9.55 FILM: Thunder Bay (1953) 12.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 2.40 FILM: It’s A Wonderful Life (1946). See highlights. 5.15 Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas 6.20 Grand Designs 7.30 Father Ted (x3) 9.00 It Was Alright In The 1970s 10.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown (x2) 12.15am Father Ted (x3)
11.00am The Three Stooges (2012) 1.00pm Rat Race (2001) 3.10 The Cat Returns (2002) 4.45 The Rocketeer (1991) 6.55 One Day (2011) 9.00 Immortals (2011) 11.10 Stoker (2012) 1.10am The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest (2009) 4.00 Close
Green Diamond – something exceptional is about to happen in central Brighton – call 733334 for more details.
026_LS757_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/11/2015 12:38 Page 1
SUNDAY 6 The X Factor Results ITV1, 8pm Next week is the X Factor final, which makes this week’s results show the tensest so far. Eek! Considering the past runners-up that have gone on to fame and fortune, the need to get through is stronger than coffee, Hulk Hogan and your Mum’s final warning. Caroline and Olly are on hand to hold nervous hands.
FILM: Django Unchained Channel Five, 10pm Oscar-winning Western from the pen and directorship of Quentin Tarantino. Starring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L Jackson... loads of stars really. This tells of a bounty hunter who encounters Django, a slave who knows the location of his new targets, and the pair come up with a plan.
FILM: The Dark Crystal Film4, 5pm A magical tale from the Henson Muppet studio, with flying things, last-of-their-kind people, ancient prophecy and weird round beetles that also seem to act as giant cages. Someone’s imagination was working overtime when this party came to town! A great yarn that’ll keep kids quiet and adults enthralled.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 The Music of Barry Mills 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Noise Floor 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Noise Floor 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Under The Radar 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Under The Radar 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00pm Noise Reel 12.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 1.00 The Music of Barry Mills 1.30 You Make It, We Show It! 2.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 3.00 Doorstep History 3.30 Growing Concerns 4.00 Family, Faith & Fun 4.30 The Rosies 5.00 Noise Floor 5.30 Music of Barry Mills 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates and an up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 6.30 The Long Lost Shows Show Nostalgia from the golden years of British TV. 7.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 8.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 8.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 9.00 FilmFest On TV Jessica Kellgren-Hayes meets Ramsay S James to talk about his new documentary, With or Without You. 11.00 Reverb Live Live music direct from Straford Upon Avon College. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 The Science Magazine Show 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 You Make It, We Show It! 2.30 Latest News 3.00 FilmFest On TV 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Under The Radar
BBC1
BBC2
6.10 South East Today 6.20 Countryfile Ellie Harrison and Joe Crowley explore the NC500 - a new 500-mile scenic loop that takes in some of Scotland’s remotest and most beautiful places. 7.20 Strictly Come Dancing Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman preside over the musicals-themed results show which opens with a dazzling performance by the professional dancers. Josh Groban sings a classic musical number. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow By special permission from the royal household, Antiques Roadshow welcomes visitors to Balmoral, the Queen’s private residence in Aberdeenshire. 9.00 The Hunt Nature documentary series narrated by Sir David Attenborough, taking an intimate and detailed look at the strategies employed by hunters to catch their prey, and the hunted to escape. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman introduces highlights and analysis of the day’s Premier League clash between Newcastle and Liverpool. 11.20 Citizen Khan Sitcom. 11.50 The Graham Norton Show Talk show. 12.35am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.40 BBC News
6.00 MOTD: FA Cup Highlights Highlights from the FA Cup secondround games taking place at the weekend as the 40 remaining League One, League Two and non-league sides look to secure a place against the big boys in Monday’s third-round draw. In 2014, non-league Blyth Spartans and Dover Athletic hit the headlines with victories away to Football League sides. They were two of five non-league sides to progress. 7.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015 The UK Championship final reaches its conclusion tonight with a maximum of 11 frames played to decide the winner. Hazel Irvine introduces live coverage from York, where the trophy and a cheque for £150,000 await the 2015 champion. 11.00 FILM: Brooklyn’s Finest (2009) Starring Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes, Vincent D’Onofrio, Will Patton, Ellen Barkin, Michael Kenneth Williams, Lili Taylor, Brian F O’Byrne and Shannon Kane. Crime thriller. Three unconnected Brooklyn cops end up at the same deadly location after following vastly different career paths. 1.05am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.00 Sign Zone: Holby City
6.00am Breakfast 7.25 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... Linford Christie 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Escape To The Country 1.45 FA Cup Final Score 4.15 Songs Of Praise 4.50 The Hunt 5.50 BBC News
6.15am The A To Z Of TV Gardening 7.00 Big Dreams Small Spaces 8.00 Countryfile 9.00 An Island Parish: Falklands 9.30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.00 Len And Ainsley’s Big Food Adventure 11.45 Terry And Mason’s Great Food Trip 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 Snooker: UK Championship 2015
ITV1
6.00am Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.30 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures (x2) 7.00 Signed Stories: Share A Story 7.05 Oddbods 7.10 Sooty 7.25 Super 4 7.40 The Matt Hatter Chronicles 8.00 Avengers Assemble 8.30 Fish Hooks 8.45 Fish Hooks 9.00 Jessie 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 12.35pm ITV News 12.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.50 The Chase 2.55 The X Factor 4.30 FILM: The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (2008) 6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Jekyll And Hyde Fantasy drama series based on the classic Robert Louis Stephenson story, set in 1930s London. Robert agrees to help the secretive MIO agency investigate a series of monster-related murders in return for Ravi’s freedom. However, Robert soon learns that the MIO are not to be trusted. 8.00 The X Factor Results See highlights. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Presented by Ant and Dec. They have survived the Bushtucker Trials, camp life and their fellow celebrities, but who will be crowned this year’s King or Queen of the Jungle? 10.35 ITV News; Weather 10.50 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Mark Durden-Smith and David Flatman visit Kingston Park, home of the Newcastle Falcons, to present all the action from round six of the Aviva Premiership. Matches include Bath v Northampton, Wasps v Exeter and Newcastle v Saracens. 11.50 Off Their Rockers Comedy show which features fearless senior citizens playing pranks on the public with the aid of hidden cameras. 12.15am Jackpot247 3.00 Motorsport UK 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
Channel 4
6.10am The King Of Queens 6.35 Challenge Mallorca 7.05 World Superbike Review Of The Year 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.45pm The Big Bang Theory 1.10 The Big Bang Theory 1.40 The Big Bang Theory 2.10 The Big Bang Theory 2.35 The Simpsons 3.05 The Simpsons 3.35 FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (2008) 5.25 FILM: The Jungle Book (1967) 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 World’s Weirdest Homes Architectural designer Charlie Luxton presents the world’s 20 weirdest, most fascinating and jaw-dropping homes, counting down to reveal what he thinks is the weirdest house on earth. In expensive New York, Charlie meets an artist living in a dumpster. Plus, a Boeing 727 home in a pine forest; Pierre Cardin’s summer house, an underground former nuclear missile silo, a rotating house in the Australian outback and a house in Portugal that looks like it was made by Fred Flintstone. 9.00 Homeland US drama series. The CIA and BND make a play. 10.05 Gogglebox Opinionated TV viewers share their critiques of the week’s biggest shows as they watch them. 11.05 FILM: The Five-Year Engagement (2012) Starring Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, David Paymer, Lauren Weedman, Mimi Kennedy. Romantic comedy. A happy couple get engaged a year after they begin dating. Although they are all set to get hitched, unexpected events keep preventing them from making their walk down the aisle. 1.15am Alan Carr: Chatty Man 2.10 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 3.00 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.05 Location, Location, Location
Channel Five
6.00am 6.30 Tickety Toc 6.40 Zack And Quack 6.50 Make Way For Noddy 7.05 Paw Patrol 7.20 Little Princess 7.35 Pip Ahoy! 7.50 Blaze And The Monster Machines 8.15 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.30 Wanda And The Alien 8.45 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.55 Jelly Jamm 9.10 LazyTown 9.40 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.15 Football League Tonight 11.40 The Gadget Show 12.45pm FILM: Christmas Mix (2014) 2.30 FILM: Call Me Claus (2001) 4.20 FILM: Disney’s Santa Who? (2000) 6.10 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) Starring Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell, Lisa Ann Walter, Steve Carell. Comedy in which a TV reporter blames God for the worst day of his life, not expecting him to then bestow his divine powers upon him to see if he could do a better job. At first, he uses his omnipotence for personal gain, but then comes to realise that one of his main duties is to listen and answer peoples’ prayers. Turmoil ensues as he tries to give everyone what they want, at the same time as trying to win back his neglected girlfriend. 8.10 FILM: Bulletproof Monk (2003) Starring Yun-Fat Chow, Seann William Scott, Jaime King, Karel Roden, Victoria Smurfit, Roger Yuan, Marcus Pirae, Mako, KC Collins and Sean Bell. Martial arts comedy, based on the comic book strip of the same name, in which a Tibetan monk enlists the help of a pickpocket in order to protect an immortality-giving scroll from a new generation of Nazis. 9.55 5 News Weekend 10.00 FILM: Django Unchained (2012) See highlights. 1.15am SuperCasino 3.10 Ultimate Police Interceptors 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big (x3) 5.45 Angels Of Jarm 5.50 Angels Of Jarm Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
12.00pm Bring The Noise 1.00 Futurama (x3) 2.30 Modern Family (x5) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Muppets 6.00 Modern Family 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 9.00 Micky Flanagan’s Detour De France 10.00 Stop Search Seize 11.00 Ross Kemp: Kenya Special 12.30am Road Wars
7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 9.30 FILM: 8 Mile (2002) 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! 12.25 Family Guy 12.45 Josh 1.15 People Just Do Nothing (x4) 3.15 Josh 3.45 Sunny D
7.00pm Concerto At The BBC Proms 7.25 Pina: Legend Of Dance 9.00 The Golden Age Of Steam Railways 10.00 FILM: Easy Money (2010) 12.00am Natural World: Unnatural History Of London 1.00 Britain’s Deadliest Rail Disaster: Quintinshill 2.00 Horizon: Are We Alone In The Universe?
2.35pm Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas 3.35 FILM: The Polar Express (2004) 5.35 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 6.40 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 You’ve Been Framed! 10.35 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.35 Plebs (x2) 12.35am FILM: The Faculty (1998)
8.35am Heartbeat (x2) 10.45 A Touch Of Frost 12.50pm Columbo: Now You See Him 2.50 Rosemary And Thyme 3.50 Wycliffe 4.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 7.00 Sunday Night At The Palladium 8.00 Lewis 10.00 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) 12.30am FILM: Till Death Us Do Part (1968)
9.00am Made In Chelsea 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.35pm FILM: City Of Ember (2008) 2.25 Couples Come Dine With Me (x2) 4.30 The Big Bang Theory (x9) 9.00 FILM: Rush Hour 3 (2007) 10.45 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.50 The IT Crowd 12.55am FILM: The Sitter (2011) 2.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2)
12.05pm Jimmy’s Grow Your Own Christmas Dinner 1.10 Jamie’s Super Food (x3) 2.50 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.25 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Car S.O.S 9.00 The World’s Weirdest Weather 10.00 Is Our Weather Getting Worse? 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 1.05 Is Our Weather Getting Worse
11.00am Destry Rides Again (1939) 1.00pm Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) 3.10 Porridge (1979) 5.00 The Dark Crystal (1982). See highlights. 6.50 The Three Musketeers (2011) 9.00 ‘71 (2014) 10.55 An Officer And A Gentleman (1982) 1.25am Summer In February (2013) 3.50 Close
027_LS757_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/11/2015 12:39 Page 1
MONDAY 7 The Gadget Show Christmas Special Channel Five, 7pm Get some classic Christmas present ideas – for you! Jason, Amy, Ortis and Jon deconstruct Christmas Day and each take a part of it to gadget-ise and make lush. From waking up, to living room grotto, right through to the festive feast and entertainment to snooze through. Ahhhh.
Turner Prize 2015 Channel 4, 7.30pm Lauren Laverne presents coverage of the 31st Turner Prize ceremony, from Glasgow’s Tramway arts venue. Featuring interviews with the nominated artists, as well as expert analysis, this is the time to get your finger back on the pulse of the art world. If you’re a ‘know what I like’ art critic, pick one you like.
Scream Queens E4, 10pm This is a rather marvellous – if overlooked – dark comedy slasher drama about a serial killer terrorising an American university sorority. The acknowledged ‘queen of scream’ Jamie Lee Curtis is Dean Munsch, who is left in a tricky situation face to face with her husband’s mistress.
¸ terrestrial 6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Growing Concerns 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Growing Concerns 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x3) 1.00pm The Newspapers 1.30 Growing Concerns 2.00 Get Up And Go 2.30 The Newspapers 3.00 Latest TV's Big News 5.00 Noise Floor 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss the week's stories in the press. 7.00 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Carib-Asian Cookery Sherrie Eugene-Hart and Pat Hart blend an intoxicating infusion of Caribbean and Asian Food from recipes handed down by their parents. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 Northern Cuisine Gareth Kyle continues his culinary tour of great food destinations in the north-east. 10.00 Northern Cuisine 10.30 Latest News 11.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton Nick Coquet’s misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round. 11.30 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 The Science Magazine Show 1.00 Teleshopping 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Carib-Asian Cookery 3.00 Latest News 3.30 Northern Cuisine (x2) 4.30 Latest News 5.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 5.30 On The Verge
BBC1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Sister Rita To The Rescue 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Oxford Street Revealed 11.45 Family Finders 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 3.10 Escape To The Country 3.40 James Martin: Home Comforts At Christmas 4.25 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Fake Britain Matt Allwright reveals the fake high-end sausages being sold at some farmers’ markets and the counterfeit bike parts putting the brakes on Britain’s cyclists. 8.00 EastEnders Kathy makes a worrying discovery. Kim demands the truth from Vincent, but will he come clean? 8.30 The Taliban Hunters The Pakistan city of Karachi is one of the biggest in the world - and now one of the most dangerous. Mobeen Azhar joins Police Superintendent Ijaz and his team of Taliban hunters as they try to regain control of the city. 9.00 Tomorrow’s Food Science series. Dara O Briain and a team of experts reveal the future of food. Michelin-starred chef Angela Hartnett is off to the Netherlands to discover the future of the burger and find out how a 3D printer could soon become an essential kitchen gadget. Aka Star Trek ‘replicator’? Not excited at all. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the satirical news quiz. 11.20 Doctor In The House Medical documentary series. 12.20am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.25 BBC News
BBC2
6.15am Fake Britain 7.00 Oxford Street Revealed 7.45 Flog It! Trade Secrets 8.15 Caught Red Handed 8.45 Thief Trackers 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.45 Pressure Pad 2.30 The Great British Bake Off 3.30 The Great Antiques Map Of Britain 4.00 The World’s Most Photographed: Elvis Presley 4.30 Wogan: The Best Of 5.15 Bargain Hunt 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Zoe Ball kicks off your weekly fix of Strictly action. 7.00 Match Of The Day: FA Cup 3rd Round Draw Mark Chapman presents live coverage of 2015’s eagerly awaited FA Cup third-round draw from Cardiff. 7.30 Only Connect Quiz show. 8.00 University Challenge Quiz show for students. 8.30 Simply Nigella Nigella delivers her final serving of feelgood food in this episode, sharing the origins of some of her latest recipe ideas and revealing just how and why they came into being. 9.00 London Spy Drama mini-series. Danny finally discovers the shocking truth about what really happened to his lover, and what really took place that night in the attic where he died. 10.00 Live At The Apollo Canadian comedy star Katherine Ryan is the host, introducing German comic Henning Wehn and the brilliantly funny James Acaster. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.15 Ireland With Simon Reeve Simon Reeve sets out on an epic journey around the island of Ireland. 12.15am Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.15 Sign Zone: The Great Pottery Throw Down
ITV1
Channel 4
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 1000 Heartbeats 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase
6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Paddy is under pressure. Sam feels sidelined. David gets a lead on the stolen ring. 7.30 Coronation Street Rob’s return spells trouble for Tracy. Audrey opens her heart to Rita. Sarah tries to face the world. 8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show Martin Lewis and Saira Khan offer more money-saving tips, including how to secure the cheapest EasyJet flights for next year. 8.30 Coronation Street Rob throws Tracy into turmoil. Nessa lays her cards on Ken’s table. 9.00 Las Vegas With Trevor McDonald First in a two-part documentary which sees Trevor McDonald explore the city of Las Vegas, meeting some of the 1.3 million inhabitants whose lives play out in the shadow of the Strip. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 Travel Guides The Lake District is Britain’s biggest outdoor playground and attracts over 15 million tourists each year. Given the notorious British weather and its rural setting, what will our reviewers really think of a holiday at home? 11.40 Murder, She Wrote Murder mystery series. 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show
6.00am Countdown 6.45 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.10 3rd Rock From The Sun 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Undercover Boss USA 11.00 Jamie’s Comfort Food 11.30 Jamie’s Comfort Food 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Posh Pawnbrokers 5.00 Couples Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sienna bears the brunt of Nico’s fury. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Turner Prize 2015 See highlights. 8.00 Low Pay Britain: Channel 4 Dispatches Reporter Seyi Rhodes investigates whether high-profile companies are paying ultra-low wages in return for poor training. 8.30 The Shopper’s Guide To Saving Money Kate Quilton and Dave Brailsford investigate the real value of must-buy products and services. 9.00 Hunting The Paedophiles: Inside The National Crime Agency Documentary which follows the National Crime Agency’s 2013 investigation into one of the biggest online child abuse cases ever seen in the UK. 10.00 Fargo US crime drama. Hanzee gets busy searching for Peggy and Ed. Dodd finds himself in unfamiliar territory. 11.15 The World’s Most Famous Train One-off documentary film following the stories of staff and passengers on the Venice SimplonOrient-Express. 12.15am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 1.00 The Undateables 1.55 FILM: Play (2011) 3.55 Four Rooms 4.45 Location, Location, Location 5.45 River Cottage Bites
Channel Five
6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Wissper 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.45 FILM: A Snow Globe Christmas (2013) 1.30pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.35 Neighbours 2.05 FILM: A Perfect Christmas (2012) 3.45 FILM: Lucky Christmas (2011) 5.30 5 News At 5 6.00 Neighbours Paul confesses to Steph that he is the one behind the campaign of harassment against her, but instead of going to the police she uses it as leverage. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 The Gadget Show Christmas Special See highlights 8.00 Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show. The guys return to White Castle, pose as bouncers at a night club and read horoscopes to patrons at a mall. 8.30 Impractical Jokers The jokers pose as furniture salesmen, sell jewellery to couples and pitch some whacky memoirs to potential readers. 9.00 On Benefits: Benefit Beauty Queens Documentary looking at families on benefits who aspire to glamorous lifestyles. Kim in Portsmouth is desperate for her three children to take the pageant world by storm and has spent thousands pursuing their dreams. 10.00 Danger: Teen Bingers Documentary series exploring obesity. Special one-off programme focusing on people who are overweight but under age. 11.00 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights Documentary. 12.00am Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild UK 12.50 SuperCasino 3.10 Loch Lomond: A Year In The Wild 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle
kextraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
12.00pm The Last Ship (x2) 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Modern Family 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Muppets 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Trollied 9.30 After Hours 10.00 Bring The Noise 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am The Force: Manchester
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Reggie Yates’ Extreme UK: Gay And Under Attack 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bad Education 11.00 American Dad! (x2) 11.45 Family Guy 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 Reggie Yates’ Extreme UK: Gay And Under Attack 1.30 Bad Education 2.00 Josh
7.00pm News 7.30 Railway Walks With Julia Bradbury (x2) 8.30 The Quizeum 9.00 Britain’s Outlaws 10.00 Storyville: The Six-Day War: Censored Voices 11.20 Tails You Win: The Science Of Chance 12.20am Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World 1.20 Patagonia With Huw Edwards 2.20 The Quizeum
1.40pm Celebrity Catchphrase 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x3) 6.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Through The Christmas Keyhole 10.00 FILM: American Pie: The Wedding (2003) 12.00am Two And A Half Men (x2)
11.05am A Touch Of Frost 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Wild At Heart 3.15 Where The Heart Is 4.20 On The Buses 4.50 On The Buses 5.25 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Cold Blood 12.35am Where The Heart Is
4.00pm Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 A To Z 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Made In Chelsea 10.00 Scream Queens. See highlights. 11.00 Gogglebox (x2) 1.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 2.05 Made In Chelsea
11.25am FILM: The Man From Colorado (1948) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Nazi Megastructures 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Supervet: Christmas In The Clinic 10.00 24 Hours In A&E (x2) 12.10am Embarrassing Bodies Down Under
11.00am Demetrius And The Gladiators (1954) 1.05pm The Long Gray Line (1955) 4.00 The Cowboys (1972) 6.35 The Women (2008) 9.00 Taken 2 (2012) 10.50 Mud (2012) 1.25am Office Space (1999) 3.30 Close