Latest 7: No. 760 by Latest Homes

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B R I G H T O N

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ENTERTAINMENT

5 – 11 January 2016

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LATEST TV GUIDE

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PEOPLE

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LIFESTYLE

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Channel 159

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FREE WEEKLY LATEST PEOPLE Charity begins in Brighton & Hove

ANNIE

DINING OUT Andrew Kay marks a year of city gastronomy

The sun’ll come out when Lesley Joseph comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton for one of the most popular musicals of all time

MIKE WARD A glass half full BRIGHTON’S ARTY The Hove plinth

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WILL HARRIS Learner driver

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Web Manager – Mecmesin (Horsham) Developer – Alternative Airlines (Horley) Finance Manager – Chroma Sports (Brighton & Hove) Systems Engineer – 15 Below (Brighton & Hove) Financial Accountant – Madgex (Brighton & Hove) Awards Co-ordinator – World Interior News (Brighton & Hove) Marketing Executive – Trusted Housesitters (Brighton & Hove) The Changing Work Place – (Haywards Heath) Marketing Manager – LEO (Brighton & Hove)

Website development and support – needed for an organisation that supports Further Education colleges Four designers – needed for eight complete brand refreshes Magento & PHP developer – needed for a project for a company that supports students

Digital Catapult Centre Brighton Breakfast Drop In – Friday 15th January, 9.00am at The FuseBox HR Digital Media Group Brighton – Thursday 21st January, 9.15am at Madgex Taxes changes are coming, are you ready? – Tuesday 26th January, 8am at My Hotel

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CITY GIRL

IN THE CITY

VICTORIA NANGLE

Al Murray: Let’s Go Backwards Together

s the new year kicks off, I don't know what I want. And that's okay. It starts as soon as you can talk. What do you want? Do you want a biscuit or a carrot? (Biscuit of course!) Do you want to be a fireman? Do you want to take exams in the arts or the sciences? Yes, see that one sneakily also implies it's asking what you don't want as well as what you do. And as soon as you give an answer to any of them – your word is your bond. Or at least that's how it feels. My father's still slightly disappointed that I wavered away from the course I stated aged 8 to be an accountant like him. I should never have said it out loud. But then again, why ever not? I

should be able to try on ambitions for size and change my mind about them on a whim and a text message. So long as it's not affecting anyone else but me, I don't see a problem with it. There's a ridiculous rush to know the answer to everything and have your life planned out forever. I see no shame in trying on a few different outfits along the way to see what fits best at any time. After all, just because I refused to wear a dress for pretty much the entirety of my school days it doesn't mean I can't show off my pins now in a very fetching 70s throwback slinky number. So happy new year. And may 2016 be filled with many opportunities to not make up your mind – or even to change it! It's all you.

The nation’s critically acclaimed bar-based-braveheart, Al Murray – The Pub Landlord embarks on a common sense campaign to re-Great Britain in his brand new show. The Hawth, Crawley, 23 November 2016, £27.50, www.parkwoodtheatres.co.uk

Dane Baptiste: Reasonable Doubts The last 18 months have been non–stop for the Independent’s ‘Face to Watch in 2015’, Dane Baptiste. After the incredible success of his debut show Citizen Dane he’s back with his first nationwide tour of his critically acclaimed smash hit show, Reasonable Doubts. Komedia, 9 March 2016, £12/10, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton

IN THIS ISSUE 4 Latest TV Under The Radar, Digital Nation & highlights 6 Andrew Kay Yak Yak Yak Mr Kay’s retrospective 7 Hot List Restaurants, cafes & takeaways 7 The Box Andrew B on Made In Chelsea 9 Andrew Kay Dines Out The year of gastronomy 11 Latest People Chestnut Tree; Brighton Business Curry Club; Wired Sussex; Time2Give 12 Science/Brighton’s Arty Theory into practice at CERN Art at a plinth 13 Annie The sun’ll come out at Theatre Royal Brighton 15 Commutable Abandoned resolutions 17 Shopping Indulgent treats to beat the January blues 17 Entertainment news What’s on for stage, film, comedy, art & music – plus the chart 20 Mike Ward At Large/Reviews Curb your pessimism Plus what’s been happening around our city 21 TV Listings TV Listings for the next 7 days

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JEFF HEMMINGS

VICTORIA NANGLE

thelatest.tv adventure. Hurled together with Pere Ubu, Jonathan Richman and the Only Ones, we plunge through the show in true punk rock spirit, by the seat of our pants learning and messing up as we go... Under The Radar is born!" The truth is, we have never quite lost that initial buzz and excitement from hearing a certain record for the first time, or seeing a band kill it on the stage. We know we are not the only ones... Music is

Jeff Hemmings & Paul Mex

f music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die.” So said Bill Shakespeare. But, as far as Paul Mex and myself goes, we never get sick of good music.

We plunge through the show in true punk rock spirit

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thriving as never before, and the internet age has opened it all up for all to discover. And it enables us to easily dig out lost sounds,

pop round for a drink. We are both Kemptown residents and I’ve known Bill a few years. I’m nervous because when Bill has an

Paul Mex & Plum

The Zombies

Not only are we to be seen often gorging on it, we go back for seconds, thirds, fourths, and more. We positively live and breathe it; he is a record producer, musician and music aficionado, and I'm a music journalist and broadcaster (and very part-time musician…). He loves everything from Miles Davis (he has over 100 of his records) to the Sex Pistols. And so do I. We both have wildly eclectic tastes, albeit loosely defined by the spirit of 'punk' (not the music, but its attitude and style). In just over a year of broadcast we have shown hundreds of artists, as well as the odd interview conducted by Mex via his hi-tech iPhone, and the occasional turns of Plum and Emily Dean, two more music-mad friends. Mex explains the origins of Under The Radar: “One sunny day in Brighton I get a message from (Latest TV boss) Bill Smith, saying he has an idea and that I should watch on

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and lost moments. Moreover, previously 'lost' or forgotten archive material is constantly being uploaded to the web. That's what we do; We dig on the internet, rather than the old fashioned digging in crates! For instance, on this week's show we have a Zombies special; archive footage of The Zombies, plus solo work by the two main protagonists, Colin Blunstone and Rod Argent. Another week it could be women in punk, or a bass players special, or something jazz, or all things psychedelic, reggae, post-punk, 2-tone, heavy metal, etc. The Velvet Underground, Mink deVille, The Soft Machine, The Damned, Robyn Hitchcock, or even some newer, but UTR sounds such as Ezra Furman, Courtney Barnett et al. Whatever it is, we like it, have something to say about it, and have a laugh doing so. We hope you do too. Under The Radar, 5pm, Tuesday 5 January

idea it’s usually a bit crazy. Once at his pad though I’m enjoying a drink in his back garden... 'Why don’t you do a music show on my TV channel, playing all that arcane music you like, which rarely gets heard or is championed?' A few days later I’m cycling along a wet seafront when I bump into Brighton hip-cat Jeff Hemmings, another local I’ve known a while. “I hear you are going to be doing a music TV show,” he boldly states. 'Wow, news travels fast' I think to myself and before you know it, Jeff and I are perched in front of bright lights, cameras, but no make-up or green room, for our first warts and all TV presentation channel 159 or at thelatest.tv

ver take a moment to sit back and look at everything that’s happened in the last year? You may have had birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, new friends (can you believe that this time last year you didn’t know whatsisname?!) and even new homes. This week Digital Nation focuses on its own retrospective, which is pretty mighty considering the programme’s gathered some of the most diverse and mindblowing stories from local newsrooms and features edits based all around the country.

It’s pretty nifty stuff, separated into various themes that we’ve seen return time and again over the year. A favourite is the curiosity that leads us down a path paved with scientific enquiry, not least the story that confirmed what many of us have suspected for years – cake energy is the new fuel! Well, we all knew that the vim and vigour we’d been stripped of after a slice of fruit cake this Christmas had to go somewhere. Although there may be more to it than this. Other science stories to pique our interest included training to be an astronaut in Liverpool, the latest in virtual reality and, of course, our very own British Airways i360 on Brighton’s seafront. Food is, naturally, always close to our heart so it’s not surprising that a collection of films to whet our appetites also feature, travelling from Belfast to Lancashire, to Brighton (natch) and on to Edinburgh and even Bollywood. We challenge you not to want a deep fried milkshake after you’ve seen that little genius of ingenuity. With it being New Year and all

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thelatest.tv (plus bearing in mind all of that energy-making cake and other goodies we’ve just consumed in the spirit of festivity) Digital Nation also brings you a plethora of sports you can take up to work off those pounds and build up those goodfeeling endorphins. With twelve months’ worth to look back at, you don’t have to settle on the first legs’ bums and tums class you come across to burn off those holiday calories. This is where imagination just doesn’t stop. From flyboarding to fencing, waterskiing to roller derby. Turn exercise from a chore into adventure. And where would Digital Nation be without our four-legged furry friends? Aren’t they gorgeous! Joining our nationwide collection of cats and dogs stories are our feathered friends, as well as a story of a Liverpool vet who saved a turtle’s sight. So... it makes you realise just how much Digital Nation seeks out to bring you the best of our bizarre, creative and wonderful regional stories together. And piques our interest as to what might be in store for 2016. Will we have recordbreaking confectionary? How about Olympic stars in the making prepping for Rio? Or maybe time travellers? Perhaps fairysightings? Even trolls? One thing is for certain, there will be stories to tug and your heartstrings, inspire goodwill, and make you laugh. Plus furry creatures. Definitely furry creatures. Digital Nation, 8.30pm, Tuesday 5 January. watch on

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smartest clips and pundits to discuss the trials and tribulations of The Seagulls. Which are plenty! We’ve got everything to play for and that league place tantalisingly close.

The Rosies, Tuesday 5 January, 6.30pm New year, fresh starts, and a whole array of possibilities for 2016. Our panel gather to discuss the topic of moving out of home, as well as moving city and chasing your dreams. So no small ambitions this year! Plus special guest make-up artist Ryan McCrum joins them to share some professional wisdom.

Unique one-of-akind furniture. Get your covet on!

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be found as the 52% gang have a pink party to raise awareness of breast cancer. Joined by nurse practitioner Sue Holcombe, as well as Ricky Tomlinson – who talks about how he got involved with the Pink Party and why cancer sufferers have reasons to be optimistic. Now that’s worth a party!

Millionaire Row, Wednesday 6 January, 7pm If you plan on living on Millionaire Row then you need to embrace the whole shebang – including making sure your pad looks the part. Simon Thorogood and Andrew Bullock meet bespoke furniture maker Ben King and get up close and personal with his stunning collection of unique one-of-akind furniture. Get your covet on!

Guy Lloyd’s Telly Show, Friday 8 January, 7pm Ho! Ho! Ho! Guy looks at good deeds and holidays and asks Brighton’s public whether a holiday can ever really live up to the expectation. And he takes a close look at the beach resort located next to an airport and a Lapland igloo holiday under the Northern Lights. Now that’s a holiday you’ll always remember. Albion Night, Saturday 9 January, 11am Jamie Walker gathers together the week’s biggest news and

52%: Pink Party Special, Thursday 7 January, 2pm Reasons to be cheerful – one, two, three, four... there’s good news to channel 159 or at thelatest.tv

FilmFest on TV: My Accomplice, Sunday 10 January, 9pm Nominated for a gong at the Edinburgh Film Festival, this Brighton-based off-beat comedy has love, local bands and apricot flapjacks. What more could you want? On a search for Wivelsfield, our heroes explore their own mini adventure.

In The Pot, Monday 11 January, 8.30pm Don’t think you can cook but know you’d like something tastier than Pot Noodle seven days a week? Join self-confessed non-chefs Livvy and Chrissy in the Devilled Egg Kitchen Academy in Bristol for a course in how to feed yourself yummy things. Matt Lord from the Bristol Hotel makes the classic coq au vin, shows us how to make a good beef and chicken stock, while the ladies explore the wine cellar. Hic!

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ANDREW KAY YAK YAK YAK

SPONSORED BY Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

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THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS he thirty-nine steps start today. I have just thirtynine days left of being in my fifties. It’s a somewhat daunting thought really and in many ways surprising. There were moments of late when I thought I might not get there at all. In Guernsey a visit to a beautiful farm resulted in me spending several days in isolation on an intensive care ward with a nurse constantly at the foot of my bed. Scary stuff, not the nurses, they were nice. It did bring home that sense of one’s own mortality, as I lay there covered in wires and tubes and surrounded by things going bleep and ping. Having no real experience of hospital wards I was more than out of my depth and if I were one for making new year resolutions that that would most likely be mine “I resolve not to spend my time in a hospital bed”. I don’t make resolutions though as they are the source of so much disappointment. So thirty-nine days left of fiftydom – what to do? Do I have a bucket list? Not really, I have been lucky enough in my life to do so many of the things that I wanted to do. I have sung backing vocals on albums that went on general release. I have written published fiction. Had a play ‘what I wrote’ performed. Eaten in some of the finest restaurants in the world – and some of the worst. Travelled extensively for both business and pleasure. Made TV programmes in which I both created the formats and presented them. Sung in choirs,

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cycled up mountains (a long time ago), hosted events, held auctions, bathed in oceans and in rivers, skated on lakes, been

be frank, although I enjoy having a good moan about some the stuff hurled at me, I rather enjoy it. Life without challenges would

I might even learn how to say no

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reverential in churches, cathedrals and temples, laughed, cried, been drunk and been sober too. There have been so many highs and some notable lows too. I never ever again want to wake up crying in a telephone box on Fleet Street London. I never ever want to drink unpasteurised milk and I have no desire to see again the show Return To The Forbidden Planet, please, never that! So what do I want from my next decade, the scary sixties? Well to be honest I am pretty happy to go on the way I have been doing, embracing what life throws at me as it tends to do, full on in the face or the belly. Apart from a few brick bats it has done me little harm so far and to

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surely be a drab affair? So bring it on! What can I say? Yes or perhaps no even. Maybe that should be my tenet, Andrew Kay’s decade of saying no. The thing is, I live in fear of saying no. I am terrified of missing out on an experience that might be good in some way, exciting, fulfilling, enlightening – oh how I crave just a little enlightenment now and again. This approach to life has certainly been exciting. Saying yes has led me down some very pretty paths and some rather dark ones too. I have embarked on affairs of the heart that were inevitably doomed but certainly worth the journey. I regret none of them and value them all. I have been hurt but I have no doubt hurt too. Along the way I have met people who have coloured my

world, some of them come and then go, others have become the constants in my life. Thank you to them all, those who have glanced at it and drifted away again and those who sail with me on this rather extraordinary journey. As for regrets, well Mr Sinatra’s view is somewhat simplistic. A few? No, a lot, of course there are regrets. I regret not having looked after my body better. If I had I might be a thinner and fitter creature than I am today. I regret not having learned how to play the piano or how to ski. I wish my teeth were in a better state than they are and I regret throwing away all those fabulous clothes that I bought from places like Bodymap and World’s End when I was younger and slimmer. I suspect that if I had stayed fit and slim I might never have thrown them away, although the idea of me walking along Western Road in pirate gear or white cotton jersey dungarees with legs that reached barely past my knees is a pretty scary thought. Dwelling on what I might have done though is really not my style. I’m far more likely to be looking at what I might do next. So if you have any thoughts, positive ones that is, then feel free to let me know. I might be somewhat limited by my physical state but otherwise I will give all sensible ideas my consideration – and I might even learn how to say no.

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HOT LIST

ANDREW BULLOCK THE BOX

BRITISH & MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s

Follow me: @andrewjbullock

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

MADE IN CHELSEA SEASON 10 EP 8

hristmas has been and gone, and due to the fact that I am writing this column before the big event itself I can't provide you with a run-down of the Christmas TV. So, that can wait til next week and in the meantime here's my Made In Chelsea episode 8 run-down for those of you already missing the Chelsea gang! Within seconds of this episode starting, Harney has physically assaulted Jamie on a bicycle. It looks pretty harsh actually and although everyone’s laughing about it I wouldn’t be surprised if shortly after filming he had to be taken to the Portland (for a caesarian). Also, this week Jess is dressed like Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell. Alik has landed in London. Wheeze says she’s feeling guilty that he had to leave his Leather Empire to come to London to deal with her wandering lips. She should feel guilty! En route from the airport, Alik stops by to confront Elliot (who has a weird eyebrow). Because he can remember what happened while Wheeze cannot, Alik thinks that the whole thing is Elliot’s fault. Makes sense. For some reason, Toff and Richard are planning a joint birthday party even though last week he inserted his arm down her throat, detached her heart, extracted it through her mouth and threw it into the path of an on-coming fork-lift truck (AKA said “no” to a date). Nonetheless, she is drawing hearts around their names (and telling him about it) and ordering balloons that spell out “Congratulations Toff & Richard”. Proudlock’s cut his hair and has come to console Alik who makes it quite clear that he will not stand for “another episode” involving Wheeze and her roving eye. Tiff decides it’s appropriate to befriend James’ ex-lover Lilly, who looks like a younger version of Alice Beer from Watchdog. Lilly is horrendous. She claims that she doesn’t fancy James He will not anymore. Really, Lilly? We stand for all know you’ve become “another friends with Tiff so you can episode” go round her and Lucy’s house and chop up all of involving Lucy’s bras. Wheeze and her Mark Francis sends the roving eye Bat Signal into the air so that Victoria can come and help him stop Toff from ordering a 3-tiered wedding cake for her and Richard’s party. The pair of them burst into the cake shop, as Toff is mid-bite, and ask what the hell she is playing at. Mark Francis smacks her hand, like “a Victorian house master”. Toff explains that she hit on Richard and he said no. “Do you think Eve was going around asking Adam out on a date?” Victoria asks her. To be fair, its not like Adam and Eve could have gone for a Pizza Express, poor things. Andrew Bullock is a producer, presenter and writer. You can read more at www.drewjbullock.wordpress.com

INDIAN The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national recognition which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample Thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, whilst the evening menu offers inventive street food, decadent Tandoori dishes and tasty regional curries, served in a vibrant and bustling setting. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011–14 and has retained its Michelin Bib Gourmand from 2010 to 2015. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

The Chilli Pickle Canteen The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches, with regional curries and homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at thechillipicklecanteen.com, 01273 900384

Chaula’s Lewes Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 12pm–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Thali Deals available 12pm-3pm; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

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THAI Street Thai Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two courses at £9.75 and three courses at £11.75. Street Thai, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton, BN1 1HD, 01273 207444

Cafe Chilli Cafe Chilli breaks the mould of the traditional Thai restaurant. You'll still find the classic dishes, but also fusion food which is increasingly popular in modern Thailand. From a classic green curry to chilli pesto spaghetti and ever-changing specials, you'll be spoilt for choice! With a varied wine list, homemade soft drinks and delicious desserts, there's something for everyone. Visit our website at: www.cafe-chilli.co.uk to find more info and menus. Tel: 01273 710390. 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL.'

ITALIAN Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £7.95 or three for £9.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

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ANDREW KAY DINES OUT

THE YEAR OF GASTRONOMY was the year that saw the city of Brighton and Hove and indeed a large slice of both East and West Sussex gain recognition as a culinary hot spot. When I moved here 30 years ago the city had a fair number of good family restaurants, places of note that offered great value and quality food – but there were very few places at the top end of the culinary spectrum offering innovative food, high gastronomic standards and a stylish dining experience. My how that has changed. Where once there was perhaps only One Paston Place, now we have so many excellent places to dine, places that are drawing food lovers from way beyond the city, even from beyond the UK. So where did it all start and where is it going? For my money, the start came when Terre á Terre opened their doors. Here were two people with both culinary skill and vision. Their chosen field of vegetarian foods may have held back the acclaim that they now have, but once the word was out their restaurant garnered award after award and their critical notices are of the highest standard. What stood out about T à T from the start was innovation. Whilst others were still making nut roasts and pasta bakes Amanda Powley and Philip Taylor were digging deep into an international palette of flavours and textures and setting the bar very high, not only for vegetarian cuisine but for any other restaurant that chose to take notice. And with the accolades mounting up T à T was hard to ignore. My next food champions have to be Pamela and Ben McKellar and their incredible chain of Ginger dining venues. The Ginger Man first opened in Norfolk Square and was from the very first a breath of fresh air in the city, a new option for thos of us who enjoyed fine dining. Ben brought classical culinary skills to work with modern ideas, inventive cooking at its very best. And their small but perfectly formed chain of restaurants and pubs under the careful eye of Pamela continues to impress. But more than this, through their enterprise they gave voice to so many of the talented chefs who are now dazzling the culinary world. One such chef is Andrew MacKenzie who cooks at Drakes Hotel. A lover of the classics Andrew has certainly made his mark on the city’s food scene. So too has Semone Bonner who now has his own restaurant, The Set at The Artists Residence. Bonner has the classic

Michael Bremner, chef proprietor of 64 Degrees, presenting a dish at Food Lab, an innovative event that takes place as part of the Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival, champions of the local food industry. Photo: Julia Claxton

2015

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We have so many excellent places to dine, places that are drawing food lovers from way beyond the city, even from beyond the UK

“

skills but his food is of a more experimental and innovative nature, exciting combinations of flavours and textures to tantalise the diner. And if it is excitement you seek then look no further than Michael Bremner and his talented team at 64 Degrees. Michael is already a food star in the UK’s foodie firmament and his tiny restaurant has become a place of pilgrimage for food lovers with its offer of seasonal small plate dining. I love the constantly changing menu and the appearances of ingredients that I have never tried alongside some much loved ingredients that had until Michael been neglected. But it’s not only the European food offer of the region that has raised the profile. So too has the rise of a few Asian food stars. It started with Indian Summer, a smart new take on Indian cuisine that dispensed with the old school flock wallpapered high street tandoori style restaurant. They were soon followed by Alun and Dawn Sperring at The Chilli Pickle, once small and now one of the city’s larger and more successful restaurants serving authentic regional dishes in smart modern surroundings. They too have received lots of recognition including a clutch of national food awards. So too has Curry Leaf Cafe, a relative newcomer but already gaining that national recognition. Chef Kanthi Thamma delivers spicy delights and street food from across the Indian continent in relaxed surroundings and couples them with good wines and a fine range of craft beers. And that is just the tip of a culinary iceberg that stretched to The Pass near Horsham and The Curlew in Bodiam. We are more than lucky to live here if you love great food.

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LATEST PEOPLE Chestnut Tree Snowman Spectacular Ball Chestnut Tree House threw their annual Snowman Spectacular Ball on 5th December in order to raise money for the children’s hospice and raised an incredible £455,011. Guests spent the evening singing and dancing along to a live performance from the five-piece harmony group, The Overtones. This year the theme was inspired by the charity's Patron, Raymond Briggs' Snowman and the venue was transformed into a winter wonderland. The magnificent sum of money will pay for 2 months of care provided by Chestnut Tree (left to right) Mike Sparks, Jeanne Lessels, Lorraine How, Chris Perrick, House both at the children’s hospice and in Jan Williams, Kevin Haag families’ homes across Sussex. Many celebrity guests attended the Snowman Spectacular Ball including Olympian, and Chestnut tree House Patron, Sally Gunnell

Tanya Hunt & Janet Parsons

Tessa Oversby from Business in the Community

Omar Shah, Go-Telecom and Sophie Boulderstone, Latest 7 and Latest TV

Time2Give – guest donating time and Carol Lewis

Brighton Business Christmas Curry Club The annual event was held at the Bali Brasserie, on 8th December, sponsored by go-telecom. A fantastic networking opportunity coupled with a delicious curry was enjoyed by all. Latest magazine and TV's new sales manager Sophie Boulderstone won a bottle of Moët champagne in the business card raffle! Photo credit – velvet goldmine studio

and included the 'auction with a difference' where guests were invited to bid for some wonderful prizes with their time rather than with their cash. Donated time will be matched up to the 12 not-forprofit organisations already looking for professional support. Nathan Roberts from A Band of Brothers attended the events and said: “Who helps the helpers? The Time2Give ball certainly does, the event really endorses the fact that time is the new money!” The event was supported by Clark Brownscombe, Business in the Community, Community Works and Giving Times. www.time2give.org.uk

Wired Sussex Christmas Meet-up Wired Sussex Members’ Christmas Meet-up took place on 2nd December, with approximately 150 people in attendance. A lot of potential new contacts met up from the creative, digital and tech sector. Lots of great conversations, festive jumpers, seasonal tunes and mince pies meant that the festive season was seen in, in true style! (left to right) Stevie Seccombe, Rebecca Watkin, Laura Bevans, Kieron Cooper, Kelly Dibbert, Rosalie Hoskins, Emma Bland

Gail Bainbridge, Sophie Corbett, Carol Lewis

Time2Give Christmas Ball at The Grand On Wednesday December 9th, over 500 hours of volunteering was given to local charities via a new charity event launched in Brighton in 2014. Time2Give Ball is the brainchild of Gail Bainbridge co-owner of Brighton based accountancy practice Bainbridge Lewis. The event held at The Grand, Brighton and hosted by Sophie Corbett and Guy Lloyd, supported 12 charities from across the city watch on

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SCIENCE UNLOCKING POTENTIAL

BRIGHTON’S ARTY ALISON KROG

Dr Caroline Oprandi keeping you up to date with science & technology at PACA

MAKING A STAND

o we are back from our prize winning trip to CERN in Switzerland and I have to say it really was an amazing experience. The highlight for me had to be meeting the Engineers during the Health and Safety training. It is one thing to be theoretical physicists but then something else to actually put the theory into practice and build something like CERN. I am biased though, since my father was a Chartered Electrical Engineer. We couldn’t actually go down into the CERN tunnel since we would’ve been completely fried. They were doing live experiments whilst we were there and we were watching from the ATLAS control room. University of Sussex Researchers kindly came to meet us and gave us a talk and also came to lunch with us. We then went to the AMS experiment control room where there was a live link with the International Space Station. The highlight for the students had to be making their own particle detectors – cloud chambers – at the S’Cool lab. It really was a fun way to end the two day visit and Alex our teacher tweeted, “well that was fun with PACA! I do love my job”. We couldn’t go Alex’s favourite question was down into the “what happens if CERN tunnel since we shine the light through the blue we would’ve been completely fried glove into the cloud chamber”. Nothing, as it happens but even so, children’s playful imagination mustn’t be lost when conducting cutting edge science. Another highlight for me whilst at CERN was to stand at the spot where the British Scientist Tim Berners- Lee invented the world wide web (WWW) in 1989. The web was originally conceived and developed to meet the demand for automatic information-sharing between scientists in universities and institutes around the world. However, 200 years ago on 10th December 1815, Ada Lovelace was born and she is considered to be the first computer programmer after writing the first algorithm. Ada was the daughter of Lord Byron and as well as being a great mathematician, she also had a fantastic imagination. Ada developed a vision for the capability of computers to go beyond mere calculating or number crunching. She examined how individuals and society could relate to technology as a collaborative tool. Portslade Aldridge Community Academy (PACA) is a college offering sixth form, 11-16 years, youth centre, adult learning, community education, sports centre and pre-school. Find out more at www.paca.uk.com

hat would you put on the plinth? No, not the one in Trafalgar Square. The ambitiously arty campaign to bring new sculpture to Hove seafront by installing a platform on the King’s Esplanade to exhibit temporary displays. We do hope Hove Civic Society gets the support it needs. Because there’s already been a Hove Plinth Sculpture Competition – and the Matthew Davies finalists demonstrate the A fluid, breathtaking breadth of creative amorphous talent that exists in our city. What did it take to shine, according to sculpture local artist Kellie Miller – who aiming to recently showed models of the mirror the sea shortlisted works in her eponymous South Lanes gallery – breeze ‘art that shows the hand of the creator’. Just imagine how arresting these would be. Matthew James Davies’ piece – Escape – is a fluid, amorphous sculpture cast in blue resin aiming to mirror the organic movements of nature: the sea breeze, gliding birds and rolling waves. It will also mimic the diversity and energy of the people surrounding it, moving, dancing and playing. The shape echoes the artist’s memories of seaside treats and sweets from the early 1980s. Flight of the Langoustine by Jonathan Wright Pierre Diamantopoulo was inspired by a discarded and mangled lobster pot found while beachcombing, which was first created in his studio under the King’s Road Arches. The washed-up object that helped lobsters escape became a human story of exodus and release – a dash for freedom. Finally, Jonathan Wright’s Constellation is part mechanical model of the solar system, part film camera and part ship’s compass. The most Pierre Diamantoipoulo popular landscapes and iconic images associated with Hove will orbit the system. And Jonathan intends to choose these, which will include present day and historical items, by consulting with local residents and groups. If the project receives the required funding each sculpture will be in place for 12-18 months, after which they will be found permanent positions in Hove and Brighton. So come on local businesses. Get behind such a brilliant idea. www.artymagazines.com Twitter @brightonsarty

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THE SUN’LL COME OUT! LESLEY JOSEPH STARS IN ANNIE AT THE THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON esley Joseph makes a welcome return to Brighton this month to play Miss Hannigan in the brand new production of the musical Annie. Sales for this favourite family musical are particularly strong, with an extra matinée added on Wednesday to meet high demand. Set in 1930s New York during The Great Depression, brave young Annie is forced to live a life of misery and torment at Miss Hannigan’s orphanage. Determined to find her real parents, her luck changes when she is chosen to spend Christmas at the residence of famous billionaire, Oliver Warbucks. Spiteful Miss Hannigan has other ideas and hatches a plan to spoil Annie’s search. With its award winning book and score, this stunning new production includes the unforgettable songs It’s the Hard Knock Life, Easy Street, I Don’t Need Anything But You and Tomorrow.

Lesley Joseph is best known for playing Dorien Green in the hugely successful sitcom Birds of a Feather alongside Pauline Quirke and Linda Robson. They recorded over 100 episodes over a period of nine years. Lesley and her co stars returned to our screens in Birds of a Feather in 2013, with a second series airing earlier this year. Lesley’s theatre credits include Miss Hannigan in Annie at the West End’s Victoria Palace and also on national tour. Her other touring credits include Calendar Girls and Hot Flush! Lesley is joined by Alex Bourne as Oliver Warbucks, Holly Dale Spencer as Grace Farrell, Jonny Fines as Rooster and Djalenga Scott as Lily. The company also includes James Alan-Evans. Lewis Bradley, Nic Gibney, Sinead Kenny, Michael Lin, Alice Liveing, Megan Louch, Callum McArdle, Benjamin Mundy, Steven Oliver, Heather Scott-Martin, Anne Smith, Kate Somerset How. Annie is directed by Nikolai Foster, set and costume design by Colin Richmond, choreography by Nick Winston, lighting by Ben Cracknell and sound design by Richard Brooker. You can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll love it! Annie , Tue 12 – Sat 16 Jan, Eves 7.30pm Wed, Thu & Sat mats 2.30pm www.atgtickets.com/brighton (bkg fees) 0844 871 7650 (bkg fees)

PUBLIC NOTICE THE LICENSING ACT 2003 (PREMISES LICENCES AND CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATES) REGULATIONS 2005 Regulation 25 Advertisement TO: WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I Angus Wright do hereby give notice that it is my intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for a new premises licence to use or permit the use of premises known as Jungle Rumble Adventure Golf 286 Madeira Drive Brighton BN2 1PS so as to allow the sale of alcohol between the hours of 11.00 and 22.00 daily for consumption on and off the premises, with conditions restricting the type of alcohol its strength and to ensure dispense into non-glass containers. Any person who desires to make a representation to the variation, should send to Assistant Director, Public Safety, Health & Safety and Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JP no later than the 14th of January 2016 a brief written statement of the grounds of his/her objection. Copies of the register and applications may be viewed at the above council office during normal office hours; summaries are available via www.brightonhove.gov.uk/licensing. It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5]. Dated this: 30th of November 2015 Signed: Doug Simmonds FBII, tp. Licensing Consultant www.dougsimmonds.co.uk watch on

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COMMUTABLE WILL HARRIS A master of broken resolutions

y the time you read this, I will have abandoned my New Year’s resolutions. I know this to be true because, given this issue’s publication date of 5th January, I will have had at least five clear days to not join a gym, break my diet by picking at leftover Christmas tree chocolates, and steadfastly and resolutely fail to write a novel. Five days in and all those new leaves, so rashly turned over, will have withered on the vine. If you find my pessimism too confronting for this early in the New Year, hear me out. You’re not dealing with an amateur here. We’re talking about someone who has broken more resolutions than he’s had hot dinners (sometimes with some correlation between the two). Not just the basics either; the ‘lose some weights’ and ‘drink less boozes’. A couple of years ago, demoralised at the prospect of yet another willpower outage, I decided I would make ‘positive resolutions’ that would enrich my life rather than deprive it. These failed too. Save for a mortgage? I accumulated £500, then blew the lot on Lego. Learn a foreign language? I trawled Amazon for a German primer, got distracted by a cut-price DVD of Das Boot (“Brilliant,” I thought, “I’ll turn off the subtitles and it’ll be immersive learning”), and fell Save for a asleep halfway through. mortgage? This year, however, there is one New Year’s resolution I have I accumulated £500, then been able to actually muster some excitement for, and it’s so blew the lot blindingly obvious, I can’t on Lego understand why I haven’t thought of it before. I will learn how to drive. If you’re wondering how someone can manage to get to their notquite-yet-mid-30s without troubling the portals of the DVLA, here are a number of pointers; a road map if you will. Firstly, have them take their first driving lesson on the week of their 17th birthday, and – over the course of that lesson – have the instructor first direct them onto the highoctane, criss-crossing hell that is the Coventry Ring Road, and later, midconversation, casually recount how he once ran over a child. A few years later, when your aspiring motorist has fully recovered from that (almost literal) crash course, give them a proper series of lessons, this time around the highways and byways of Brighton. Take your time, have them ace their theory test, and then – just as they’re approaching test standard – have the instructor up sticks and relocate to Somerset. Rest assured your aspiring motorist will be too young and lazy to find another instructor (and more to the point, will have already spent the money set aside for the test on a new pair of jeans). This year, however, it will be different. After years of not seeing the value of owning a car, six months riding the rails between Brighton and London is spurring me towards action. Not as an alternative to my commute (who can afford that?); more so I can climb in my car and drive away when all the delays and cancellations get on top of me. Beachy Head?

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SHOPPING BETHANIE LUNN

ENTERTAINMENT JOE FULLER

Churchill Square’s Style Ambassador suggests four indulgent treats to beat the January blues

Opulent fantasy and double piano bravura

don’t believe in New Year Resolutions, I prefer to see the New Year as a way to do more of the things I love. Come January, all the fun of the festive season is over so this is the perfect time to indulge. I’ve scoured Churchill Square Shopping Centre to highlight four indulgent treats from fashion to food. It sounds better than the gym doesn’t it?

Hot Drinks and Sweet Treats Whether it’s a gingerbread latte and biscuit at Costa, Afternoon Tea with your girl friends at Italian Kitchen or a yummy pit stop at the Thornton’s chocolate fountain – there are tons of places to treat Costa Cafetiere set for two, £46 Costa Coffee or Debenhams yourself. Stores such as Debenhams and some of the cafes also sell gifts and offer take-out for you to enjoy at home too. Bold and Bright Accessories Inject a little colour into your life with the boldest, brightest accessories you can find to lift your spirits and stand out in a Butterfly by Matthew Williamson at Debenhams sea of black and Mustard Tassel Clutch, £46 brown outfits. As the spring 2016 stock Inject a little creeps into the stores, colour into you’ll find this easy. Stores like Topshop, your life with the River Island, Designers boldest, brightest at Debenhams, Zara accessories and Miss Selfridge showcase new collections early. Spring/ Summer Shoes SS16 brings us plenty of colour, texture and futuristic detailing such as hologram and two-tone fabrics. The same goes for footwear. Go colourful, textured and experimental – patent with elastic, snakeskin with print, embellishment and ties. Try Office, Aldo, Sole Trader and Schuh. A Pampering Experience January is the perfect time to try a new look or just have some ‘me time’. Get your eyebrows shaped at Superdrug or try a free makeover for some fresh ideas at Kiko Milano. Enjoy a manicure at Nails Inc, Debenhams or get hair done at Supercuts... or the whole lot! If you want fashion inspiration or guidance on where to start, you can book a personal shopping experience with me, from £20. Bethanie Lunn is Churchill Square’s Style Ambassador – blogging regularly at www.churchillsquare.com, hosting events and now offering Personal Shopping services. Check out the website to view all the budget-friendly packages, starting at just £20. channel 8,

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elcome to 2016, the year in which you will discover the wonders of live classical music with help from me and my column, and me in person too if you like. Your first classical concert of the year could be a really fun one, with London Gay Symphony Orchestra and Actually Gay Men's Chorus coming to the Dome. The LGSO aim to be adventurous and ambitious in their programming, which is fantastic for us since they have a great show lined up. Saint-Saëns' grandiose fantasy, 'Carnival Of The Animals' is a superb suite featuring 14 short movements that are beguiling and evocative. Each movement represents a different animal or animals, taking in lions, kangaroos, wild asses, personages with long ears and many more. This could be a good way to get children interested, playing guess the animal perhaps, and the short melodic nature of the pieces lends itself to winning over classical newcomers too. Carnival Of The Animals is not merely horsing around however, there are delicate moments such as 'The Cuckoo in the Depths of the Woods' movement, which reminds me of Arvo Pärt's staggeringly beautiful 'Fratres' when it's played on piano. Brighton & Hove's own Actually Gay Expect some Men's Chorus will then boisterous join the orchestra to nautical frolics perform highlights from Gilbert and Sullivan's 'HMS Pinafore'. You might have heard snippets of these sung by the inimitable, richly voiced Kelsey Grammar playing Sideshow Bob in the Cape Fear episode of The Simpsons. You know: “What, never?! No, never. What, never? Hardly ever!”. Expect some boisterous nautical frolics. The generous programme will also see guest soloists performing classics from Puccini, Albinoni, Wagner, Lutoslawski and other popular chorus numbers too. I like the dynamic of having guest singers at concerts, the different colours and tones of voices and performers make for a refreshing change and lend variety to proceedings. The LGSO (joined by Coady Green and Christopher Wayne Smith) will also perform Poulenc's Concerto for Two Pianos and Orchestra, which is a bold, stunning piece with a wild finale. Having two pianists on stage should make for some fun theatricality but the piece features some real beauty too. At the time of writing there are still good seats available from as little as £8, so this is a good opportunity to see a varied night of entertainment featuring popular chorus songs and some thrilling orchestral pieces. London Gay Symphony Orchestra and Actually Gay Men's Chorus, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Sunday 10 January, 7.30pm, £8-£25 tickets from www.brightondome.org or 01273 709709

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STAGE ANDREW KAY

AND THE WINNERS ARE… Brighton & Hove Arts Council announce their drama award winners

ecember for the Brighton & Hove Arts Council can only mean one thing – the announcements of the Drama Awards! At a sparkling evening in BHASVIC’s main hall 15 awards were made to a full house of thespians and their supporters. With entertainment provided by the talented musician and singer Hannah Rose Tristram, it was a wonderful way to all come together and celebrate the hard work and artistic success of our local theatre companies.

Best Set Design Martin Oakley and Sally Diver for Be My Baby, Southwick Players

At a sparkling evening in BHASVIC’s main hall 15 awards were made to a full house of thespians and their supporters

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Best Costume Design Audrey Pickles for Kindertransport, Rottingdean Drama Society Best Stage Crew for Be My Baby, Southwick Players

Best Actress Pamela Sian Evans – Steph in Reasons to be Pretty New Venture Theatre

Best Sound Design Nigel Sharpe for Heroes, Lewes Little Theatre

Best Technical Achievement for Be My Baby, Southwick Players

Best Lighting Design Trevor Morgan and Cameron Wallis for Heroes, Lewes Little Theatre

The Gabbus Denney Award for Best Director Elaine Eardley for Kindertransport, Rottingdean Drama Society The Arthur Churchill Award for Excellence New Venture Theatre – Reasons to be Pretty

Best Publicity Gary Cook for Be My Baby, Southwick Players

The Coffin Mew Award Awarded for staging a thoroughly polished and professional production in just seven weeks Burgess Hill Theatre Club – The Tangled Skirt

The Mike Padley Award for Best Supporting Actor and Actress Scott Roberts – Kent in Reasons to be Pretty New Venture Theatre Gill Lake – Lil in Kindertransport Rottingdean Drama Society

The Bea Waters Challenge Cup for Best Overall Production Southwick Players – Be My Baby

Best Actor Michael Bucke – Bailey Bryce in The Tangled Skirt Burgess Hill Theatre Club

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MUSIC JEFF HEMMINGS

LATEST MUSIC CHART

Corb Lund – Canadian alt-country at its best bit of a misnomer, this term Americana. The Canadians have been producing some mighty fine 'Americana' for decades now, and the evocatively named Alberta born and bred Corb Lund is one of the very best, producing a stream of great records since the turn of the of the 90s, firstly with his band The Smalls, and then as a solo artist, along with his touring band The Hurtin' Albertans. Nine albums later, and Lund continues to spread the altcountry gospel. His 2006 album – Hair in My Eyes Like a Highland Steer – won the Canadian equivalent of the Brits (The Junos), in the Roots & Traditional Album of

the Year category, helping him to win a deal with New West Records (home to country heavyweights Kris Kristofferson, Steve Earle and Dwight Yoakam), to which he is still signed. Back in October last year he released Things That Can't Be Undone, an album that combined his frontier country style with a more soul orientated

sound. Produced by Dave Cobb, it's a work that also recalls Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard. Much of it harks back to the 60s and 70s, with its mix of country, rock and soul, while the album title can be found on opener Weight Of A Gun: "my hands are empty, but my mind is filled with things that can't be undone". Elsewhere his acute and sardonic observations are employed in songs about rampant capitalism, war and personal relations. It's all beautifully delivered by this master craftsman. Bleach, Wed 13 January, 8pm, £12

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20 Another week and another great music chart for you! Listen online to get your favourite to the top and to submit your own tracks.

1 Sweet Jonny Carpe Diem 2 The Black Fields The Fighter 3 the wolfgirl liberation sonic chanting 4 The Fooley Mantras The Truth 5 Asher Fynn Love is a Dependency 6 The 1920s Club Grandad 7 MIGHT Fate

COMEDY VICTORIA NANGLE

8 Tony Blair Witch Projekt Let’s Have Some Good Times 9 John Maher Over the line

Plug and play laughter here are an awful lot of good comedy radio shows, podcasts and archives out there to pick up any New Year’s blues you may be suffering. Just thought you’d like to know. There has been a focus, in the past, on how much of a television profile a comedian has. Have you seen them on Live At The Apollo, The Michael McIntyre Roadshow or anything else of that ilk. But it is worth bearing in mind that the real root inspirations for most of today’s biggest names in comedy, the real humdingers that inspired them to have a go at the funnies, made their first impression on the radio. Well, there’s The Goons, of course. Cited as influencing Monty Python’s Flying Circus, who themselves first broke through individually as writers for the wireless on the likes of The Frost Report and I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again, all at the BBC. More recently a whole swathe

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of successful comedians took their cues from the comedy albums of Richard Pryor and then Bill Hicks, listening for the cues, rather than watching. Podcasts are the most recent revelation, allowing the likes of Brendon Burns and Richard Herring to reach a huge audience without the constraints of censorship associated with sponsorship or channel overlords. All of this is so easily accessible, with hundreds of podcasts and albums on iTunes, as well as a constant release of new and old comedy programmes on BBC Radio 4 and 4 Extra. Winners of channel 159 or at thelatest.tv

the BBC Comedy Award, like Lucy Beaumont and Angela Barnes, as well as those making their marks with acclaimed shows on the live circuit, such as Liam Williams and Mark Thomas, are frequently found delivering up their cream of the comedy crop on the airwaves. So... those January blues... there are more than three reasons to be cheerful with this little lot so easily accessible. Plus, there’s the chance to see one of the most enduring radio comedy panel shows live at the Brighton Dome at the end of the month. Join chair Jack Dee, along with panelists Barry Cryer, Miles Jupp, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Jeremy Hardy for more nonsense and anarchy for I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue. It’s bye bye blues. I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 2.30pm & 7.30pm, Saturday 30 January 2016, £26/23, brightondome.org

10 SuiciceDefects With A Title Like This You’d Think This Was A Song By Fall Out Boy 11 The Last Cry Rebekka 12 Swarf Parlour Tricks 13 LARGO Silversp**n 14 tenek Submission – Radio Edit 15 PORTSLADE Girls and Boys 16 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 17 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday 18 The Fooley Mantras Break away 19 Black Nail God Damn You 20 PROJECT B SONG 1

TO LISTEN TO TRACKS & TO SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC & VIDEOS GO TO www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

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MIKE WARD AT LARGE

REVIEWS

CURB YOUR PESSIMISM s an Albion fan, I hate to have to say this but I think there's a chance we may get promoted to the Premier League. At the end of this current season, I mean. I hate to have to say it for two reasons. First, because obviously it's tempting fate, which only a blithering idiot would do. And second because, well, if we really do go up to the top tier, I'm worried that it may not be much fun. See, that's what always happens with me. The moment things are going well, football-wise – which it's fair they've been doing for most of this season – my mind starts racing ahead and thinking, yeah, great, but sooner or later, some day in the future, it'll go kind of pear-shaped again, your mark my words, it always does, that's football, blah blah.... Not that I'm not entirely wrong, of course. For example, it wasn't all that long ago, at least not in my world, that Nottingham Forest were the champions of Europe, two years on the trot. And where are they now, eh? The Sussex County League, that's where. No, hang on a second, that can't be right. Let me check and get back to you on that one... But what I find annoying is that I can't just live in the moment. I can't just savour the satisfaction of a win, or just enjoy us being so high in the table, without then thinking, yes, but if we go up we might really struggle, so maybe it's best we just stay where we are, right? For ever. Obviously I'm not as pessimistic as my mate Daniel, who sits next to me at the Amex. Nobody on the planet is as pessimistic as Daniel. Daniel is the sort of bloke who'll insist we're going Daniel to lose even when we're 107-0 up and four minutes into stoppage time. But insists even so, I'm pessimistic enough. And we’re going believe me, it's not a condition you to lose even want to live with. So all I reckon I can do for now, by when we’re way of a sort of New Year's resolution, 107-0 up is fight it by over-compensating. Not just by telling myself we'll go up, and that we'll stay up, and that we'll establish ourselves as a Premier League side for years to come, but that we'll go way beyond that, absolutely definitely, and end up winning the UEFA Champions League. Two years on the trot. Actually, on second thoughts, make that three. Oh, and I've just remembered, stupid old me, that the Albion and Nottingham Forest are actually in the same league. But we won't be for very much longer, right? See, I'm learning. Happy New Year.

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Ash Concorde 2, 13 December 2015 ★★★★★ Gig listings may be becoming increasingly cluttered with nineties bands living off former glories, but there’s nothing wrong with the occasional nostalgia kick... Especially when it’s as good as this. Despite approaching their forties, Ash have somehow managed to maintain their youthful energy and dynamism, demonstrated to full effect as they thundered through a surprisingly abundant selection of hits (so surprising in fact, that I thought “Oh, I forgot about this one… ” over and over). While some of the songs from their new album Kablammo! fell a little flat, there’s no doubting that Ash remain a force to be reckoned with. Adam Lindsay Andy Parsons – Live And Unleashed (But Naturally Cautious) Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 9 December 2015, ★★★★★ The tagline is ‘Naturally Cautious’ – and it’s an apt description of Andy Parsons’ show. There’s a first act of familiar obsessions such as male angst and aging, almost as if he’s holding our hand to prepare for sharper stuff later. It’s not necessary, and while the second hour does punch up a few levels, Parsons could afford to get angrier and wittier, which he does in (literally) the last three minutes, revealing the possibility of someone working the same ideas as Mark Thomas but for a Mock The Week audience. Not a bad idea – but in the end, too cautious. Andrew Allen Josh Widdicombe – What Do I Do Now Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 15 December 2015, ★★★★★ The Devon boy done good. Josh Widdicombe has an easygoing rapport with his audience, pacing the laughs deftly as he chatted with the crowd and then launched himself into the show proper, with the modern frustrations that take him into that familiar squeaky octave. A consummate gag writer, Widdicombe conveys that difficult manchild/grown-up straddling period, as stag dos introduce odd new characters, and old friends refuse to grow up with their behaviour. It's a time-lapse Brightonians are all too familiar with. A great performer, a marvellous show, a highly enjoyable Christmas outing treat. Victoria Nangle

Mike Ward is the TV Critic of the Daily Star and the TV Editor of the Daily Express Saturday magazine. Hear him every Monday afternoon with Guy Lloyd on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 Twitter: @mikewardontv watch on

Jools Holland and his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra Brighton Centre, 12 December 2015, ★★★★★ The evening was a testament to Jools dynamic skillset and incredibly talented band. Joining Holland, amongst many, was Gilson Lavis – a drumming veteran who entertained the audience with a staggeringly good solo. Also gracing the stage was Ruby Turner, who possessed such a fluid vocal ability – linking up all facets of the band into one seamless performance. The only weak link in the framework was unfortunately Jools ‘special guest’ KT Tunstall who really disjointed, what up to this point, had been such a smooth display of jazz. Aside from this, Holland demonstrated quite effortlessly how to engage and entertain an audience in bringing together a group of ridiculously talented individuals. Abigail Hyland

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TUESDAY 5 Silent Witness BBC1, 9pm Part two of yesterday’s season opener and you can bet there’s already been a juicy amount of science and peril marvellously entwined. Going stright for the throat from the off, Nikki is arrested after a senior pathologist that she’d had a ruck with is found dead. Will her colleagues clear her name?

Celebrity Big Brother: Live Launch Channel Five, 9pm Find out finally who the celebrities going into captivity are, after all the speculation in the papers. It sounds like there’ll be a fair representation from reality shows Made In Chelsea and RuPaul’s Drag Race, not to mention comedians, models and wannabes. Truth is out tonight.

Tattoo Fixers E4, 9pm There are lots of reasons to have a tattoo. Good ones, like a wellconsidered Celtic knot covering 20-year-old burns from a horrific house fire – well done, Steve. And others that strike one as being somewhat hasty – like Danny’s dubious sketch of Tupac from a less than gifted artist. Sketch and Jay are on the case.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 The Music of Barry Mills 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Drop the Puck 2.30 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 The Music of Barry Mills 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Rosies 7.00 Get Up And Go Fitness show with a team of trainers covering a range of different techniques. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics. 8.30 Digital Nation From north, south, east and west, the most inspiring, amazing and amusing stories of the week. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 The Long Lost Shows Show Nostalgia from the golden years of British TV. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 Brighton Album Chart Show A new concept in TV charts. Our monthly top 10 is compiled solely from albums bought in Brighton's independent store, Resident Records. 11.30 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 The Rosies 1.00 Get Up And Go 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Digital Nation 3.00 Latest News 3.30 The Long Lost Shows Show 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Brighton Album Chart Show 5.30 Under The Radar

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Wanted Down Under 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Father Brown 2.30 For What It’s Worth 3.15 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin: Home Comforts 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.15am Rip Off Britain: Holidays 7.00 Wanted Down Under 7.45 Close Calls: On Camera 8.15 An Island Parish: Falklands 8.45 Caught Red Handed 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Darts: 2016 Lakeside World Championships 4.15 Coast 5.15 Flog It!

6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News 2.00 Judge Rinder 3.00 1000 Heartbeats 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Kat is left stunned when she learns some home truths. Stacey is left overwhelmed by her discovery. 8.00 Holby City Hospital drama. Arthur is pushed to the limit when he tries to win Morven’s affections. Zosia is offered a prestigious research internship in Edinburgh, but how does Ollie feel about this? Hanssen sends Dom, Morven and Arthur to an outdoor pursuit centre to battle for a research grant, but the competition gets a whole lot harder when it becomes clear that Morven’s father is involved. Does Arthur have what it takes to prove himself? Zosia is torn when Jac offers her a research internship in Edinburgh. Can Ollie finally be honest about his feelings for her and can he make her stay? 9.00 Silent Witness See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Reggie Yates’ Extreme UK: Gay And Under Attack In the first film, Reggie is shocked to discover that, for young black and Asian gays and transsexuals, their harshest critics - and persecutors - often come from their own communities, or even their own families. 11.35 Saving The Cyber Sex Girls:

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo embarks on a journey around north west Britain. Michael continues his journey through the Lake District where he discovers a magical world of talking rabbits, ducks, hedgehogs and mice, who have entertained children for more than 100 years. At the village home of author and illustrator Beatrix Potter, Michael learns about her legacy and her fears about the railways. Fuelled by a Victorian energy bar, Michael presses on to Brantwood, home of the Victorian art critic John Ruskin. He finishes with a brief encounter at Carnforth. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. Popular presenters and best friends Jennifer Falconer and Angellica Bell get competitive in this Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. With the help of antiques experts David Harper and Christina Trevanion, they shop around Surrey, Oxfordshire and Berkshire before heading to auction in Tonbridge, Kent. 8.00 Victorian Bakers Four professional bakers leave their modern businesses behind to bake their way through the Victorian era. They set up shop in 1837, when their trade was vital to the survival of the nation. The bakers must get to grips

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale On his birthday, Aaron reaches breaking point. Ross is out of his depth. Laurel and Ashley face the future. 7.30 The Kyle Files Jeremy Kyle returns for a new series confronting more issues of the day. In this edition, he investigates the issue of guns on our streets. During his investigation, Jeremy visits a community 24 hours after their homes were shot at. He visits a secret location to discover how gun crimes are solved, and comes face to face with a gang that openly admit to carrying guns. 8.00 Trawlermen Tales Three-part documentary series following the Cornish trawler fishermen of Newlyn and the families they leave ashore when they go to sea. Braving bad weather and the very real danger of death, they provide for the loved ones they spend so much time apart from. In the first episode, first mate on the Filadelfia trawler Scott gets the lifechanging news he is going to be a father. Alan, the skipper of the Ajax, needs to get back to sea, but his daughter Merryn has hidden his boat keys. When he finally does get out to sea, the fish are so scarce he has to risk his very expensive nets by fishing over wrecks. Meanwhile, skipper of the Aaltje Adriaantje trawler Dale

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 The King Of Queens 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Four In A Bed 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Four In A Bed 12.40 Four In A Bed 1.10 Four In A Bed 1.40 Four In A Bed 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.00 Countdown 4.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Teen drama. On the day of Maxine and Patrick’s ceremony, will Maxine be able to keep her promise? Nico makes a dramatic discovery, and a romantic declaration in The Dog has hilarious consequences. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Tricks Of The Restaurant Trade Kate Quilton, Adam Pearson and Simon Rimmer reveal how customers can ensure that they can get the best quality food and service at restaurants across the UK. The team examine the increasing popularity of burger chains. With inside access to a high-end burger chain, Kate finds out what it is that makes their burgers ‘gourmet’ and how they differ from meat patties served by McDonald’s. The programme also looks at the growing trend of serving burgers cooked rare. Taking over a popular bistro in Manchester, Simon demonstrates the common tricks of the trade that are used to turn a profit, including upselling and speeding customers through their meals to free up table space. Simon also reveals the use of the ‘golden table’, where the most attractive diners are placed in the most visible seats in the house. 8.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours In Vienna Travel series in which comedian, actor and writer Richard

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Bop Box 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 1.15 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: A Wife’s Nightmare (2014) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away Documentary series revealing the work of bailiffs and repossession agents. In this episode, Brian and Graham have been warned to expect trouble as they evict some tenants, one of whom has a reputation for violence. Everything goes surprisingly smoothly until the enforcement agents make a shocking discovery in a child’s bedroom. Paul has fifty years’ enforcement experience but even he is moved by a heart-breaking eviction in East London. The tenant, a mother of two, has lived in the flat for nine years but owes over £7,000 in rent after losing her job. Paul and partner Steve then head to Slough to collect a debt for unpaid wages owed to a freelance worker. The debtor is not happy to find Paul and Steve on his doorstep and things get physical. 6.55 5 News Tonight 7.00 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud A compilation show featuring the most hilarious and outrageous cat-themed videos on the internet. Narrated by comic Iain Lee and with commentary from comedian and catlover Susan Calman, the show includes priceless clips of cats playing musical instruments, cats talking, cats in costumes, cats on hoovers, and cats attempting to find their way out of sticky situations. 8.00 Bargain Loving Brits In The Sun Documentary series exploring Victoria Nangle

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9.00am Modern Family (x2) 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x5) 3.00pm Modern Family (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 FILM: Elf (2003) 10.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am Forever 2.00 My Holiday Hostage Hell

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Cuckoo 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 Cuckoo 1.00 Siblings 1.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.30 Together 3.00 Don’t Tell The Bride

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sorry! 8.00 The World’s Most Expensive Stolen Paintings 9.00 The Queen’s Castle 10.00 The Crusades 11.00 When Albums Ruled The World 12.30am To Boldly Go 1.30 The Joy Of Logic 2.30 Treasures Of Heaven 3.30 Britain On Film

12.45pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.45 FILM: Baby Mama (2008) 3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 5.50 Take Me Out 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious (2001) 11.10 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.05 Safeword

1.10pm Heartbeat 2.15 Wild At Heart 3.15 Where The Heart Is 4.20 Man About The House 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Case Sensitive 12.05am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

4.00pm The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Tattoo Fixers. See highlights. 10.00 Rude Tube Christmas Cracker 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Gogglebox 2015

1.05pm Time Team 2.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 10.00 Grand Designs Australia 11.05 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am They Might Be Giants (1971) 12.45pm The Stranger Wore A Gun (1953) 2.25 The Reckless Moment (1949) 4.05 It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) 6.40 Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief (2010) 9.00 Taken (2008) 10.50 Limitless (2011) 12.55am The Girl Next Door (2004) 3.10 Close

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WEDNESDAY 6 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper Channel 4, 8pm A new series of knocking shops into shape care of retail expert Mary Portas. She kicks off with a struggling bridal boutique in Surrey, but with the married owners sinking fast with mounting debt alongside a mountain of unsold stock, things aren’t looking good. Can Mary turn it around? Fingers crossed.

Bus Pass Beauty Queens Channel 5, 10pm Who says pageants are just for the youngsters? Miss Senior America is the world’s biggest beauty pageant for women over 60 and the Brits are coming to join in. This documentary follows four fiercely competitive women with the title in their sights, including 70-year-old former body builder Oxford-educated Marilyn.

Supernatural E4, 11pm It’s taken a lot of series and the Winchester brothers have worked through a heap of daddy issues. Following in the family business, their dad, the possibility of being dads, losing both parents to fiery things that go bump in the night... and now it’s time for the king of Hell to have a bash at family relations. Hello, Mum.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Digital Nation 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Doorstep History 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 The Rosies 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Digital Nation 2.00 The Rosies 2.30 Doorstep History 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Movie Line All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 7.00 Millionaires' Row From penthouse to pool, take an exclusive tour of exceptional, outstanding, and unique dream houses. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics and the upcoming key elections for our future. Expect heated debates as Brighton decides on Latest TV! 8.30 Dee Kelly Asks Dee (Benefits Street and Big Brother) gets to the heart of the big issues: legal highs, FGM, immigration, mental health issues in men and more. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 F-Stop F-Stop showcases the best film makers, animators and video artists in the East Midlands. In this episode, we take a look at the work of the Horton Brothers. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 On The Verge 11.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Movie Line 1.00 Millionaires' Row 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 Dee Kelly Asks 3.00 Latest News 3.30 FStop 4.30 Latest News 5.00 On The Verge 5.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton

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6.00am Rip Off Britain: Holidays 6.45 Homes Under The Hammer 7.45 Close Calls: On Camera 8.15 See Hear 8.45 Caught Red Handed 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Darts: 2016 Lakeside World Championships 4.15 Coast 5.15 Flog It!

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Kat demands answers and is determined to get them. Tamwar comes up with a new business plan. 8.30 Dickensian Drama series set within the world of Charles Dickens’s novels. Bob Cratchit fights to clear his name and get home in time for his daughter’s wedding, but the evidence is stacked against him. 9.00 Great Barrier Reef With David Attenborough Natural history series. In this second episode, David Attenborough continues his exploration of the Great Barrier Reef, aboard the research vessel Alucia. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts another edition of the light-hearted sports quiz. 11.05 The Truth About Calories Documentary. Calories are a national obsession but are they really worth counting? Dr Chris van Tulleken takes nine randomly selected supermarket foods to an independent testing laboratory and discovers that only one of the labels matches the number of calories inside the packet. 12.05am FILM: Archipelago (2010) 1.55 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.00 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo embarks on a journey around north west Britain. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. 8.00 Trust Me, I’m A Doctor Going behind the headlines to give the definitive answers to health questions. 9.00 Three Days Of Terror: The Charlie Hebdo Attacks One-off documentary. In November 2015, when gunmen attacked Paris, France declared war on the Islamic State. But that war - and France’s ‘year of terror’ - began a year ago with the attack on satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howards returns to offer his unique take on the week’s global headlines and bizarre news stories. 10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Darts: World Championships - Highlights Colin Murray presents highlights of the day’s second-round matches at the 2016 BDO World Professional Darts Championships. 12.05am Darts: World Championships - Extra 2.05 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.35 Sign Zone: Alex Polizzi: Hire Our Heroes 3.35 Sign Zone: World’s Weirdest Events

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Sandy is hit hard by Ashley’s news. Vanessa gets the results. 7.30 Coronation Street A furious Aidan lashes out at Johnny. Nessa tries to fix things. What has Anna got up her sleeve? 8.00 Midsomer Murders When wealthy landowner Gregory Lancaster’s body goes missing on the night of his death, a sinister web of secrets and lies is exposed in the village of Little Malton. DCI Barnaby, DS Nelson and new forensic pathologist Kam Karimore are drawn into a macabre world of bodysnatching as they seek to identify the culprit. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 Joanna Lumley - Elvis And Me Joanna Lumley travels to the USA to follow in the footsteps of the king of rock ‘n’ roll, Elvis Presley, meeting his closest family and friends. She aims to discover the man behind the myths and find out what life was like before his worldwide fame changed everything. 11.40 The Kyle Files Jeremy Kyle returns for a new series confronting more issues of the day. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 The King Of Queens 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Four In A Bed 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Four In A Bed 12.40 Four In A Bed 1.10 Four In A Bed 1.40 Four In A Bed 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks With Patrick casting a dark shadow over the family, Maxine finds herself close to the edge. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper See highlights. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at St George’s Hospital in south west London. This episode focuses on children and being a parent. Threeyear-old Louie is airlifted to St George’s after being run over by a car while playing outside his house. Fourteen-year-old Josh arrives in resus having injured his ankle while riding a BMX with his dad on the front. And 41-year-old Sam arrives in resus after losing control of her car and crashing into a tree. 10.00 Bodyshockers: Nips, Tucks And Tattoos Documentary series in which Katie Piper meets people who love their body work and others who loathe it. 11.05 The Undateables Documentary series. 12.10am C4’s Future Sounds: Music On 4 12.35 FILM: Notorious (2009) 2.35 FILM: Just Wright (2010) 4.15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.10 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Bop Box 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Celebrity Big Brother: Launch 1.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1.15 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Amish Grace (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away Documentary series revealing the work of bailiffs and repossession agents. 6.55 5 News Tonight 7.00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords Documentary series in which cameras follow the victims and villains of the buy-to-let boom. 8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Observational reality series filmed inside the consulting rooms at the Balham Park Surgery, a busy NHS practice in south-west London. A patient is furious that his ears are still blocked - despite missing hospital appointments to have them syringed, a patient with stomach pain fears it is a sign of ovarian cancer. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events inside the House. Catch up on the action, arguments and friendships and eavesdrop on the conversations in the diary room. Presented by Emma Willis. 10.00 Bus Pass Beauty Queens See highlights. 11.00 Capital One Cup Highlights Kelly Cates presents highlights from first legs of the semi finals of the Capital One Cup. 12.00am Manchester United: Munich Air Crash 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 World’s Strongest Man 2015 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

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10.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm Forever 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Modern Family (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 10.00 Stop Search Seize 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am Forever 2.00 My Holiday Hostage

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! 12.25 Family Guy 12.45 I Know What You Weighed Last Summer 1.45 Siblings 2.15 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.15 Great Movie Mistakes

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sorry! 8.00 The Story Of Scottish Art 9.00 Empire Of The Tsars: Romanov Russia With Lucy Worsley 10.00 The Queen’s Castle 11.00 Roy Orbison: One Of The Lonely Ones 12.00am The Crusades 1.00 The World’s Most Expensive Stolen Paintings 2.00 The Story Of Scottish Art

12.10pm Emmerdale 12.45 You’ve Been Framed! 1.15 Little Mix: The Hot Desk 1.25 FILM: The Perfect Man (2005) 3.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 5.45 Take Me Out 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Casino Royale (2006) 11.55 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.55am Safeword

3.15pm Where The Heart Is 4.20 Man About The House 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Paul O’Grady: For The Love Of Dogs (x2) 9.00 Inside Death Row With Trevor McDonald 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Wycliffe 12.10am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

4.00pm The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me 8.00 FILM: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009) 11.00 Supernatural. See highlights. 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.00 Gogglebox

1.05pm Time Team 2.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Building The Dream 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.15am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am Carry On Dick (1974) 12.50pm The Long Memory (1953) 2.40 The Black Swan (1942) 4.20 The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 6.30 Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992) 9.00 The Family (2013) 11.10 End Of Watch (2012) 1.20am Copland (1997) 3.25 Close

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THURSDAY 7 Jericho ITV1, 9pm Ooh, it’s a new drama set in the Yorkshire Dales in the 1870s! Fancy that! This was probably when people started saying that it was ‘grim up North’, as Annie Quaintain is left penniless and destitute when her schoolmaster husband dies. Bit harsh. And the cue for an adventure. Mrs Q and the bairns rock up in Jericho.

The Age Of Loneliness BBC1, 10.35pm Now, this looks interesting. Award-winning filmmaker Sue Bourne investigates what is being described as a ‘silent epidemic’, one that’s starting to claim fatalities. The spread of loneliness in our society reaches people from all walks of life, all talking honestly about how it affects them, to the camera.

Russell Howard’s Good News BBC3, 9pm Well, an awful lot has been happening of late, with an awful lot of reactions causing even more news stories. Doesn’t tend to brighten spirits much. So it’s a good thing that Russell Howard and his team are on hand to dig out the inspirational and the ridiculous. Satire and comedy.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Movie Line 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Millionaires' Row 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Movie Line 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm Millionaires' Row 2.00 52%: Pink Party Special 3.00 Latest TV’s Big News 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Under The Radar 6.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 6.30 Digital Nation The best of Local TV from across the UK. Featuring the stories you may not normally see, whether quirky, comic or hard-hitting, prepare to learn more from our local TV channels. 7.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 7.30 Albion Night The Seagulls weekly show with Latest Sport. Featuring news about all the squads and competitions. Classic games from the club's archives and much more. 10.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 11.00 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 11.30 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Digital Nation 1.00 You Make It, We Show It! 1.30 Albion Night 4.30 Latest News 5.00 Under The Radar (x2)

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6.15am Rip Off Britain: Holidays 7.00 Wanted Down Under 7.45 Close Calls: On Camera 8.15 Great British Menu 8.45 Caught Red Handed 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Darts: 2016 Lakeside World Championships 4.15 Coast 5.15 Flog It!

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders With truths coming to light, it all becomes too much for one resident, with fatal consequences. 8.00 Dickensian Drama series set within the world of Charles Dickens’s novels. A potential rival at Satis House gives Compeyson cause for concern. When a drunken prank goes dangerously wrong, Arthur realises the lengths to which Compeyson will go to achieve his aims. 8.30 EastEnders With truths coming to light, it all becomes too much for one resident, with fatal consequences. Alfie makes a brave decision. 9.00 Death In Paradise Detective drama series set on a Caribbean island. DI Goodman and his team are tested when a millionaire philanthropist is murdered on his boat, and the only suspects were all underwater at the time. Meanwhile, DI Goodman’s new hobby raises a few eyebrows... 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Age Of Loneliness See highlights. 11.35 This Week Andrew Neil reviews the political week. 12.20am Weather For The Week Ahead 12.25 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo embarks on a journey around north west Britain. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. 8.00 World’s Sneakiest Animals Chris Packham meets a host of animals that use deceptive tactics to find food. 9.00 You Make Me Feel Like Dancing Series following Jack Murphy, choreographer to the stars, as he swaps movie sets for Bolton, home to the once glorious dance hall, the Palais De Danse. 10.00 The Clare Balding Show Joining Clare on the sofa are two of Great Britain’s leading female athletes - number one tennis player Johanna Konta and national hockey captain Kate Richardson-Walsh. 10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Darts: World Championships - Highlights Colin Murray presents highlights from the women’s quarterfinals and men’s second round at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green. 12.05am Darts: World Championships - Extra 2.05 Sign Zone: Great Barrier Reef With David Attenborough 3.05 Sign Zone: Gorilla Family & Me

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley calls a family meeting. Leyla is caught in the middle. Adam reacts badly. 7.30 The Nightmare Of Bad Sleep: Tonight Around a third of the UK population struggles to get enough sleep, and the problem is now considered a major public health concern. Fiona Foster investigates why people are experiencing such trouble sleeping, and finds out what can be done to help. 8.00 Emmerdale Vanessa panics over the situation. Priya gives Rakesh an ultimatum. Leyla’s lies get her more than she bargained for. 8.30 Birds Of A Feather Return of the Essex-set sitcom. Tracey’s exhusband dies and she has to decide what kind of a send-off to give him. Sharon wants it to be nice for the boys, Dorien has got the perfect outfit, and Chigwell’s criminal fraternity want to make it special. 9.00 Jericho See highlights. 10.30 ITV News 11.15 Trawlermen Tales Three-part documentary series following the Cornish trawler fishermen of Newlyn and the families they leave ashore when they go to sea. 12.10am Murder, She Wrote 1.05 Jackpot247 3.00 The Nightmare Of Bad Sleep: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 The King Of Queens 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Four In A Bed 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Four In A Bed 12.40 Four In A Bed 1.10 Four In A Bed 1.40 Four In A Bed 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren and Maxine find themselves in over their heads as their lies spiral out of control. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Location, Location, Location Property series. Experts Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer are in Yorkshire, helping a pair of nervous first-time buyers and a house hunter who is looking for a new work-life balance. 9.00 The Restoration Man George Clarke travels the country helping people from all walks of life transform neglected historic buildings. Colin and Emma Clewes are turning an Edwardian Baptist church in the small Pennine village of Oxenhope into a five-bedroom family home. With only a meagre budget, Colin intends to do most of the building work himself. 10.00 Big Fat Quiz Of Everything Quizmaster Jimmy Carr asks Jonathan Ross, Chelsea Peretti, Jack Whitehall, Mel Giedroyc, Richard Ayoade and Noel Fielding questions on the last 100,000 years of human history. 12.05am 24 Hours In A&E 1.00 Embarrassing Bodies 1.55 Food Unwrapped: Diet Special 2.55 Unreported World 3.20 The Children Who Beat Ebola 4.15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.10 Deal Or No Deal Double Trouble: Christmas Leftovers

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Expecting Amish (2014) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away Documentary series revealing the work of bailiffs and repossession agents. 6.55 5 News Tonight 7.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild Documentary series in which adventurer Ben Fogle meets people who have given up the rat race to start a new life in the wilderness. 8.00 Britain’s Bloody Crown Documentary series in which historian Dan Jones’ unique storytelling is combined with scripted drama to reveal the true story of the Wars of the Roses. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events inside the House. Catch up on the action, arguments and friendships and eavesdrop on the conversations in the diary room. Presented by Emma Willis. 10.00 Celebrity Botched Up Bodies A look at some famous faces who have gone under the knife and have the scars to prove it. 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Rylan Clark-Neal is joined by a variety of celebrity panellists and an audience of CBB fans to debate hot topics. 12.00am Access 12.10 SuperCasino 3.10 World’s Strongest Man Final 2015 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Forever 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Modern Family (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Flintoff: Lord Of The Fries 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Boys Of ‘66 11.30 The Hateful Eight Movie Special 12.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2). See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders (x2) 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Family Guy 12.30 Siblings 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 2.00 I Know What You Weighed Last Summer

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Canals - The Making Of A Nation 8.00 Majesty And Mortar: Britain’s Great Palaces 9.00 The Nation’s Railway: The Golden Age Of British Rail - Timeshift 10.00 India’s Frontier Railways 11.00 The Joy Of The Single 12.00am Legends Of The Deep: Deep Sea Sharks

12.10pm Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation Street 1.15 FILM: Sweet November (2001) 3.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 5.50 Take Me Out 7.00 The Guide To You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: 21 Jump Street (2012) 11.10 Celebrity Juice: Bestest Bits 2015 Part 1 12.10am Two And A Half Men (x2)

2.15pm Wild At Heart 3.15 Where The Heart Is 4.20 Man About The House 4.50 Rising Damp 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Alexander Armstrong’s Land Of The Midnight Sun 10.00 Law & Order UK 11.00 Blue Murder 12.40am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (x2) 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.05am Gogglebox 1.10 Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me

1.05pm Time Team 2.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 The Supervet At Christmas 10.00 24 Hours In A&E 11.05 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.15am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am 3.10 To Yuma (1957) 12.50pm Above Us The Waves (1956) 2.55 Arizona Raiders (1965) 4.40 My Darling Clementine (1946) 6.35 We Bought A Zoo (2011) 9.00 Independence Day (1996) 11.45 Young Detective Dee: Rise Of The Sea Dragon (2013) 2.25am Mistaken For Strangers (2013) 4.00 Close

Weekend assistant required for Saturdays and Sundays from January 2016 contact danny@baron-estates.com or call on 01273 733334

024_LS760_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 18/12/2015 15:34 Page 1

FRIDAY 8 Mr Selfridge ITV1, 9pm The period drama returns and Harry Selfridge is living large in the roaring twenties. The chirruping masses are all atwitter over at Victor Colleano’s new nightspot about Harry’s latest fling, fashions are changing and musical tastes taking off. And Miss Mardle’s absence is felt by Mr Grove. *sigh*

Celebrity Big Brother Live Eviction Channel Five, 9pm Emma Willis is at the helm and celebrities find out who’s liked the least in a far more abrupt fashion than if their Instagram followers defected en masse to watch kittens playing in an abandoned wool factory. Tension is high, and the first eviction scares the shine off them all.

Spin More4, 9pm Whoa! A brand new French political drama thriller sets the scene with the French president the victim of a suicide bomber. All evidence points to it being a terrorist attack and the president is rushed to hospital in critical condition. Simon Kapita, former communication advisor, rushes back and into the throng of it all.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 You Make It, We Show It! 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Bowlegs 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 You Make It, We Show It! 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x4) 1.30pm The Long Lost Shows Show 2.30 You Make It, We Show It! 3.00 Latest TV's Big News 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Bowlegs 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss this week’s stories. 7.00 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc covers local and national politics and the upcoming key elections for our future. 8.30 Digital Nation The most inspiring, amazing and amusing stories of the week. 9.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton Climb aboard Nick Coquet's misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round, 30 minutes of toppermost pop music, upcycled ephemera and stunning cinematography. 9.30 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 10.00 The Long Lost Shows Show Nostalgia from the golden years of British TV. 11.00 Noise Reel 11.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 12.00am Under The Radar 12.30 The Music of Barry Mills 1.00 Bowlegs 1.30 Latest News 2.00 On The Verge 2.30 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 3.00 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 3.30 Modern Toss 4.00 Modern Toss 4.30 Digital Nation 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show

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6.00am Rip Off Britain: Holidays 6.45 Homes Under The Hammer 7.45 Close Calls: On Camera 8.15 MasterChef: The Professionals 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Darts: 2016 Lakeside World Championships 4.15 Coast 5.15 Flog It!

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. 7.30 MOTD Live: Exeter City V Liverpool Live coverage from Exeter City v Liverpool. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Talk show. Among the guests on Graham’s sofa are double-Oscarnominated star of stage and screen Ralph Fiennes and comedian and actress Tracey Ullman, returning to BBC1 with a brand new comedy show. Plus music from singersongwriter James Bay. 11.25 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon is back in the host’s chair for the seventh series of the comedy panel show. And, as ever, David Mitchell and Lee Mack are the lightning-quick team captains. In this episode, David Mitchell is joined by Greg Rutherford MBE and Kirsty Young and Lee Mack is joined by Joanna Scanlan and Henning Wehn. 11.55 FILM: You Again (2010) Starring Kristen Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, Odette Annable. Romantic comedy. 1.35am Weather For The Week Ahead 1.40 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo on a journey around north west Britain. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. 8.00 Mastermind The subjects are Pearl Jam, Watergate, Middlesbrough FC and the life and poetry of AE Housman. 8.30 What To Buy And Why Cherry Heeley enlists the help of the UK’s top professionals to work out which products we should be spending our money on. 9.00 Royal Wives At War A revealing documentary looking at the abdication crisis of 1936 through the eyes of the two women at its very heart. In a series of dramatised monologues set in 1967, Elizabeth the queen mother and Wallis Simpson look back at the dramatic events which led to King Edward VIII giving up the throne. 10.00 QI Quiz show. Stephen Fry with Cariad Lloyd, Dermot O’Leary, Phill Jupitus and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Darts: World Championships - Highlights 11.55 Darts: World Championships - Extra 1.55am Sign Zone: Hugh’s War On Waste 2.55 Sign Zone: Tomorrow’s Food

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Victoria tries to get Adam to see sense. Kirin learns the truth. Jai puts the past behind him. 7.30 Coronation Street Carla encourages Roy not to give up. Kevin’s clean up backfires. Mary falls for Brendan’s charms. 8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show Martin Lewis and Saira Khan offer more money-saving tips, including an antidote to the Christmas season overspend. 8.30 Coronation Street Can Roy rescue Cathy in time? Kevin has a suggestion for Anna. Mary invites Brendan back to No 7. 9.00 Mr Selfridge See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 Birds Of A Feather Return of the Essex-set sitcom. Tracey’s exhusband dies and she has to decide what kind of a send-off to give him. Sharon wants it to be nice for the boys, Dorien has got the perfect outfit, and Chigwell’s criminal fraternity want to make it special. 11.10 FILM: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) Starring Michael Caine, Steve Martin, Glenne Headly, Anton Rodgers, Barbara Harris and Dana Ivey. Comic tale about two conmen competing for the same patch on the French Riviera. 1.10am Jackpot247 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.50 ITV Nightscreen

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 The King Of Queens 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Four In A Bed 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Four In A Bed 12.40 Four In A Bed 1.10 Four In A Bed 1.40 Four In A Bed 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks As Neeta and Mac prepare to take their vows, frantic Cindy knows her secret is a ticking time bomb. Harry and Myra join forces to get Cleo back on track. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Jamie And Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast Cookery series presented by Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty from their cafe at the end of Southend pier. The boys are joined by Goldie Hawn who cooks her favourite Italian comfort food dish, fettuccine Alfredo. 9.00 FILM: Amy (2015) A documentary portrait of singersongwriter Amy Winehouse, the English soul, jazz and R ‘n’ B phenomenon who died tragically before her time on 23 July 2011, aged just 27. The documentary tells Amy’s story via her music and autobiographical song lyrics, video footage shot by her friends and family and archive clips from TV appearances. 11.35 Rude Tube: Welcome To 2016 Alex Zane brings in the New Year with a bumper Top 100 countdown of clips. 1.35am FILM: Vampires Suck (2010) 3.00 Gadget Man 3.25 You Deserve This House 4.25 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 4.35 Deal Or No Deal 5.25 1001 Things You Should Know 5.50 How I Met Your Mother

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Jesse Stone: Benefit Of The Doubt (2012) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away Documentary series revealing the work of bailiffs and repossession agents. 7.00 Pussies Galore: Love Me, Love My Cats Documentary about fanatical cat lovers. 8.00 Puppies Make You Laugh Out Loud Clip show featuring sporty pups, scaredy pups, malfunctioning pups, ninja pups and even talking pups. Kago and Kumbali are best friends, a puppy and cheetah who have literally saved one another’s lives in a Disney-esque story of survival. Narrated by Ian Lee, with Zoe Lyon and Hal Cruttenden. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Live Eviction See highlights. 10.00 Lip Sync Battle UK British version of the hit US lip-sync competition, hosted by Professor Green and Spice Girl Mel B. David Walliams takes on Alesha Dixon in the music-miming stakes. 10.30 Celebrity Big Brother Emma Willis catches up with the first evictee of the series. 11.05 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Celebrity Big Brotherrelated news and debate. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Celebrity Big Brother Live Eviction 4.00 Celebrity Big Brother 4.25 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Forever 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Modern Family (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Extreme Phobias, Extreme Cures 9.00 The Simpsons (x2) 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am Forever 2.00 My Holiday Hostage

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Family Guy (x3) 1.05 Siblings 1.35 Cuckoo 2.05 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 3.20 Live At The Apollo

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Good Old Days 8.30 Sounds Of The 70s 2 9.00 Great Guitar Riffs At The BBC 10.00 Top Of The Pops: The Story Of 1981 11.00 Top Of The Pops: 1981 - Big Hits 12.00am Genesis: Together And Apart 1.30 Top Of The Pops: 1981 - Big Hits 2.30 Top Of The Pops: The Story Of 1981

12.10pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.15 Fleur East: The Hot Desk 1.30 FILM: The Lake House (2006) 3.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 5.50 Take Me Out 7.00 You’ve Been Framed And Famous! 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Hot Fuzz (2007) 11.25 Take Me Out 12.30am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.30 Safeword

2.05pm Wild At Heart 3.05 Where The Heart Is 4.10 Man About The House 4.40 Rising Damp 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Long Lost Family 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Blue Murder 12.40am FILM: The Pianist (2002)

3.00pm Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 The Goldbergs (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Tattoo Fixers 1.00 Gogglebox (x2)

1.05pm Time Team 2.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Spin. See highlights. 10.00 Spin 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.15am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.15 Grand Designs Revisited

11.00am The Devil At 4 O’Clock (1961) 1.35pm Ice Cold In Alex (1958) 4.10 The Cowboys (1972) 6.40 Cutthroat Island (1995) 9.00 Inglourious Basterds (2009) 12.00am Heat (1995) 3.20 Close

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SATURDAY 9 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 6.35pm Put your feet up for the weekend and tuck into a spot of property voyeurism. Kirstie and Phil are helping a pair of nervous firsttime buyers and a buyer looking for a new work-life balance. Both of those pretty appealing, and they’re looking in the Yorkshire Dales, and around Leeds. It’s rather lovely up North.

Insert Name Here BBC2, 9.45pm Paying homage to the torment that has no doubt led to an email address reading john_smith56,054,122@gmail.com, this new panel show focuses on people who share the same name. Like that thar Brian Cox – both the clever clogs and the actor. Hosted by Sue Perkins, it’s bound to pique our interest.

FILM: Dog Soldiers Film4, 11.15pm A gem of a darkly comic Brit horror flick, starring Sean Pertwee leading a military exercise in the woods stumbling upon a reason we’re told not to go into the woods by all the stories... ever. Yup, werewolves. They’ve got big eyes, big ears, massive teeth and ambitions beyond Granny’s cottage.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 Bowlegs 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Noise Floor 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Under The Radar 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Noise Reel 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 11.00 Albion Night 2.00pm Teleshopping 2.30 Latest News 3.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 4.00 Latest News 4.30 Digital Nation 5.00 Noise Reel 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 6.00 Latest News 6.30 Drop the Puck Deeside Dragons play Hull Jets. 7.30 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life by searching YouTube and getting the views of guests and the general public. 8.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 8.30 Movie Line All the latest movie news, reviews and previews. With Jessica Kellgren Hayes and Joseph Gunn. 9.00 FilmFest on TV Christmas special episode with many festive short films, a countdown to the best Christmas movies and Jessica's classical review on It's a Wonderful Life. 11.00 Under The Radar Paul Mex and Jeff Hemmings show and discuss great music videos that may have been under your radar. 11.30 Noise Reel David and Ellie host Brighton's first and foremost local music entertainment show keeping you plugged into the news, gossip and live scene on the south coast. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Bowlegs 1.00 Digital Nation 1.30 The Guy Lloyd Telly Show 2.00 You Make It, We Show It 3.00 FilmFest on TV 5.00 Under The Radar 5.30 Noise Reel

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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Athletics: Great Edinburgh Cross Country 2.30 Darts: World Championships 4.30 Final Score 5.20 Now You See It 5.50 BBC News

6.10am Race To Super Bowl 50 7.00 FILM: Jubal (1956) 8.40 FILM: The Importance Of Being Earnest (1952) 10.10 Animal Park 11.10 The Natural World 12.00pm James Martin: Home Comforts 12.45 James Martin: Home Comforts 1.30 Homes Under The Hammer 2.15 Money For Nothing 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 For What It’s Worth 4.30 Darts: 2016 Lakeside World Championships 6.00 Flog It! The team are at Loughborough Town Hall. 6.30 World’s Sneakiest Animals Chris Packham meets a host of animals that use deceptive tactics to find food. 7.30 Victorian Bakers Four professional bakers leave their modern businesses behind to bake their way through the Victorian era. 8.30 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom. It occurs to Captain Mainwaring that much of the valuable time of his unit is taken up with non-combatant activities such as button sewing, brass polishing and office duties. 9.00 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy from the Hammersmith Apollo. Alan Carr introduces performances from Francesca Martinez and rising comedy star Nish Kumar. 9.45 Insert Name Here See highlights. 10.15 QI XL Quiz show in which the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry makes a meal of some M-themed food topics with Cariad Lloyd, Dermot O’Leary, Phill Jupitus and Alan Davies. 11.00 Dragons’ Den Series in which budding entrepreneurs pitch business ideas to multimillionaires. 12.00am Darts: World Championships - Highlights 12.50 FILM: Genghis Khan (1965) 2.55 FILM: Captain Apache (1971)

6.00am Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan 6.45 Dino Dan 7.00 Share A Story 7.05 Sooty 7.15 Super 4 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Mr Bean 7.55 Horrid Henry 8.10 Nerds & Monsters 8.30 Thunderbirds Are Go 9.05 The Tom And Jerry Show 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.20pm ITV News & Weather 12.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.30 Judge Rinder 2.30 The Chase 3.30 Doc Martin 4.30 The Martin Lewis Money Show 5.00 Ninja Warrior UK 6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates more comedy clips inspired by viewers smartphone videos and helmet-cams. Featuring a cat attacking a drone, a snake hitching a ride on a car, and a toddler padlocking his mouth shut. Also, a pensioner who leaves a trail of destruction through a supermarket with his mobility scooter! 7.00 Ninja Warrior UK 8.00 Take Me Out 9.15 The Jonathan Ross Show In the first of a new series Jonathan welcomes Steve Carell, star of The 40 Year Old Virgin, Anchorman, The Office and Foxcatcher, and chef Gordon Ramsay. He also chats to chart-topping singer Ellie Goulding who performs live. 10.20 ITV News; Weather 10.35 FILM: Sex And The City 2 (2010) Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler, Chris Noth, John Corbett, Willie Garson and Noah Mills. Romantic comedy sequel. Two years have passed and the four friends are struggling with the stresses of their new lives. 1.15am Jackpot247 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.50 ITV Nightscreen

6.15am The King Of Queens 6.40 The King Of Queens 7.05 The King Of Queens 7.30 Ironman France 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 The Morning Line 10.00 FILM: Von Ryan’s Express (1965) 12.20pm The World’s Most Famous Train 1.25 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.35 Come Dine With Me 6.05 Channel 4 News 6.35 Location, Location, Location See highlights. 7.30 Britain’s Wildest Weather 2015 Documentary which provides a raw, unmediated look at the most extreme weather to hit Britain in 2015. Meet the heroic Brits, including tanker pilots and mountain rescue teams, who filmed themselves as they faced freak hailstorms, 113mph winds and deadly lightning strikes. 9.00 FILM: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Lenny Kravitz, Josh Hutcherson, Jeffrey Wright. Riproaring second instalment of the best-selling young adult franchise. Reluctant warrior Katniss is forced to disown her earlier rebellion against the all-powerful Capitol and engage in a sham marriage with one-time rival Peeta. Loyalties are tested and new alliances formed, culminating in a fight for the survival of District 12. 11.50 FILM: The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) Starring Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates, Jaden Smith. Sci-fi remake. 1.45am Hollyoaks Omnibus 3.50 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.45 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.50 How I Met Your Mother

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Make Way For Noddy 7.10 Paw Patrol 7.25 Little Princess 7.35 Pip Ahoy! 7.50 Blaze And The Monster Machines 8.15 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.30 Wanda And The Alien 8.45 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 9.30 The Saturday Show 11.30 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 12.25pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 1.25 Columbo: How To Dial A Murder 3.00 FILM: Columbo: Make Me A Perfect Murder (1978) 5.00 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 6.00 5 News Weekend 6.05 World War II In Colour Documentary telling the full story of World War II with the aid of rare and unseen archive footage. 7.05 World War II Battlefield Recovery WWII history series following a four-man team as they explore the war zones of the Eastern Front in an effort to excavate and preserve the forgotten battle relics, at the same time discovering the stories of fallen soldiers from their remains. 8.00 Chasing Monsters Documentary series. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside CBB’s vaudeville themed house. Catch up on all the drama, action, arguments, and friendships and eavesdrop on the latest conversations in the diary room. 10.00 Jason Manford Live At The Manchester Apollo Stand-up from comic Jason Manford, filmed live at the Manchester Apollo. 11.15 Lip Sync Battle UK British version of the hit US lip-sync competition, hosted by Professor Green and Spice Girl Mel B. David Walliams takes on Alesha Dixon in the music-miming stakes. 11.45 Tattoo Disasters Documentary 12.10am SuperCasino 3.10 Celebrity Big Brother 4.00 Celebrity Botched Up Bodies 4.50 Make It Big (x2) 5.45 Angels Of Jarm (x2)

6.00 South East Today 6.10 Celebrity Mastermind 6.40 Pointless Celebrities Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a special celebrity FA Cup edition of the general knowledge quiz in which four teams try to come up with the answers that no-one else could think of. Featuring Eni Aluko and Guy Mowbray, Kevin Kilbane and Mark Chapman, Dan Walker and Mark Lawrenson, Rachel Yankey and Kelly Smith. 7.30 The Voice UK The singing contest returns for a fifth series. 9.05 Casualty Hospital drama. Dixie steps up as the hero but is left feeling bittersweet. 9.55 The National Lottery Live The National Lottery Live including the Lotto and Thunderball draws, hosted by Gaby Roslin. 10.05 BBC News 10.25 MOTD: FA Cup Highlights Highlights from FA Cup matches. 12.00am FILM: The Peacemaker (1997) A pair of mismatched government operatives set out to recover stolen nuclear warheads from international terrorists. When missiles being transported on a Russian train are supposedly destroyed, a brash army specialist is teamed with an ambitious female executive. 1.55 FILM: Halloween: Resurrection (2002) 3.20 Weather For The Week Ahead 3.25 BBC News

Victoria Nangle

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10.00am Soccer AM 12.00pm Modern Family (x6) 3.00 Big Cats: An Amazing Animal Family 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 Modern Family (x2) 7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 FILM: Sherlock Holmes (2009) 11.30 A League Of Their Own 12.30am Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Top Gear 9.05 FILM: Shrek The Third (2007) 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.15 Family Guy (x6) 1.25am American Dad! 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 2.30 Impractical Jokers (x3)

7.00pm Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited 8.00 Castles: Britain’s Fortified History 9.00 The Young Montalbano 10.45 Blondie: One Way Or Another 11.55 Blondie @ Glastonbury 12.50am Top Of The Pops: The Story Of 1981 1.50 Top Of The Pops: 1981 - Big Hits 2.50 Synth Britannia

8.40am Coronation Street Omnibus 11.10 Ninja Warrior (x2) 1.10pm You’ve Been Framed! 1.40 FILM: The Lake House (2006) 3.45 Nanny Mcphee 5.50 Jurassic Park 8.15 Beowulf: Return To The Shieldlands 9.15 Take Me Out: The Gossip 10.20 The Fast And The Furious 12.25am Fhm: The Last Of The Lads’ Mags

9.55am FILM: Carry On Henry (1971) 11.45 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes (x2) 2.00pm A Touch Of Frost 4.00 Columbo: Rest In Peace, Mrs Columbo 6.00 Lewis 8.00 Foyle’s War 10.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 11.55 Marchlands 1.00am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

9.30am How I Met Your Mother (x2) 10.25 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (x2) 11.20 Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me (x5) 1.55pm FILM: Space Chimps (2008) 3.30 The Big Bang Theory (x9) 8.00 FILM: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009) 11.00 Gogglebox (x2) 12.35am The Inbetweeners (x2) 1.45 The IT Crowd (x2)

8.55am Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 9.20 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 9.45 FILM: The Towering Inferno (1974) 1.00pm Four In A Bed (x5) 3.45 Grand Designs (x5) 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown (x2) 11.10 Father Ted (x3) 12.50am 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown 1.50 Spin 2.55 Spin 3.55 Close

11.00am Gideon Of Scotland Yard (1959) 1.00pm The Family Stone (2005) 3.05 Carry On Dick (1974) 4.55 Inkheart (2008) 7.00 Terminal Velocity (1994) 9.00 The Grey (2011) 11.15 Dog Soldiers (2001). See highlights. 1.20am Joy Ride (2001) 3.20 Close

Weekend assistant required for Saturdays and Sundays from January 2016 contact danny@baron-estates.com or call on 01273 733334

026_LS760_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 18/12/2015 15:36 Page 1

SUNDAY 10 Beowulf: Return To The Shieldlands ITV1, 7pm A drama series based on an epic Old English poem – this is gonna be good! There is a killer at large, and it’s not the tailor who put together the incredible wardrobe. The tribal thanes are gathering to elect a new leader of the Shieldlands, and pressure is on Beowulf to find the killer in time.

War And Peace BBC1, 9pm More epic period drama, only this lot are far more recent being in the 19th century. The Russian army is safe after a marginal success at Schongrabern, keeping the French at bay. A bit cocky in fact, as the tsar himself comes to Austria to command the troops absolutely certain he’ll win. Um... he might not.

Empire Of The Tsars: Romanov Russia With Lucy Worsley BBC4, 8pm A brand new series in which our regular enthusiastic host for all things historical is on board and filled with facts and stunning stories. Thanks, Lucy! She starts proceedings at the beginning of the Romanov’s 300-year reign on 1613. Pretty clever stuff.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 The Music of Barry Mills 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Noise Floor 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Noise Floor 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 Under The Radar 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Under The Radar 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 Under The Radar 12.00pm Noise Reel 12.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 1.00 The Music of Barry Mills 1.30 You Make It, We Show It! 2.00 BWC British Wrestling Weekly 3.00 Doorstep History 3.30 Growing Concerns 4.00 Family, Faith & Fun 4.30 The Rosies 5.00 Noise Floor 5.30 Music of Barry Mills 6.00 Latest News The latest news plus national and international updates and an up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 6.30 The Long Lost Shows Show Nostalgia from the golden years of British TV. 7.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 8.00 You Make It, We Show It! Latest Bill and David Netherton present films made by you, the great Brighton public. 8.30 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates, and the up-to-date forecast for your area and beyond. 9.00 FilmFest on TV: My Accomplice Jessica Kellgren-Hayes introduces the comedy set in Brighton: My Accomplice, featuring songs and live performances from local bands. 11.00 Noise Floor 11.30 Noise Floor 12.00am Latest News 12.30 Dee Kelly Asks 1.00 The Rosies 1.30 Latest News 2.00 You Make It, We Show It! 2.30 Latest News 3.00 FilmFest on TV: My Accomplice 5.00 Noise Floor 5.30 Noise Floor

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6.00am Breakfast 7.25 MOTD: FA Cup Highlights 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Songs Of Praise 1.50 For What It’s Worth 2.35 Great Barrier Reef With David Attenborough 3.35 MOTD Live

6.30am FILM: City Beneath The Sea (1970) 8.00 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens 9.00 Countryfile 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.15pm James Martin: Home Comforts 1.00 Masters Snooker 5.00 Ski Sunday 5.45 Darts: 2016 Lakeside World Championships

6.15am How I Met Your Mother 6.40 The King Of Queens 7.05 The King Of Queens 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 1.30 Location, Location, Location 2.35 The Simpsons 3.05 The Simpsons 3.30 The Simpsons 4.00 FILM: 17 Again (2009)

6.05 BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Countryfile Countryfile is in Hertfordshire, where Matt Baker meets a farming family who are turning oilseed rape into liquid gold oil. 7.30 Still Open All Hours Sitcom. Granville plans a double date with Madge and Mavis but needs to find a way to smarten up Gastric. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce makes a return visit to Bowood House in Wiltshire. Jon Baddeley is intrigued by a mysterious 18th century box engraved with a secret code that may once have contained cosmetic ‘beauty spots’. Books specialist Clive Farahar enjoys a cartoon inspired by a news report about a lion that escaped from a circus and took refuge in a Wiltshire school. 9.00 War And Peace See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 MOTD: FA Cup Highlights Highlights from FA Cup matches. 11.25 FILM: Signs (2002) Starring Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin. Supernatural sci-fi thriller. 1.05am Snooker: Masters Extra 3.05 Weather For The Week Ahead 3.10 BBC News

8.00 Dragons’ Den Series presented by Evan Davis, in which budding entrepreneurs get three minutes to pitch their business ideas to five multi-millionaires willing to invest their own cash to kick start the business. 9.00 My Mediterranean With Adrian Chiles Adrian Chiles tours the colourful religious festivals of the Mediterranean to find out whether his choice of church was an accident of birth and geography. This episode finds Adrian in Rome, riding a Vespa with Father Gianni on the pillion. 10.00 A Life On Screen - Stephen Fry Documentary series that celebrates the incredible careers of the best of British talent. In this programme, Stephen Fry tells the story behind his success, after presenting the BAFTAs for more than ten years. 11.00 Masters Snooker Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from Sunday’s first-round match featuring world champion Stuart Bingham against the 2011 Masters champion Ding Junhui. 11.50 FILM: Disconnect (2012) Starring Jason Bateman, Hope Davis, Frank Grillo, Andrea Riseborough. Technology causes several lives to intertwine with terrible consequences in this ensemble drama. 1.40am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.35 Sign Zone: Holby City

6.00am Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 6.25 Pat & Stan 6.35 Dino Dan 6.45 Dino Dan 7.00 Share A Story 7.05 Sooty 7.15 Super 4 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Mr Bean 7.55 Horrid Henry 8.10 Nerds & Monsters 8.30 Bear Grylls’ Survival School 9.05 The Tom And Jerry Show 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12.35pm ITV News & Weather 12.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1.50 Ninja Warrior UK 2.55 FILM: Thunderball (1965) 5.30 ITV News Meridian 5.45 ITV News 6.00 Unbelievable Moments: Caught On Camera Alastair Stewart presents a collection of incredible clips of eyewitness footage shot by members of the public on mobile devices. The stories include a ship’s cook who survived for nearly three days in an air pocket in the hull of a ship that had sunk in the Atlantic. The programme hears from a British wildlife worker who helped save a baby elephant after it became stuck in a deep hole in Kenya. 7.00 Beowulf: Return To The Shieldlands See highlights. 8.00 Endeavour Crime drama series about the young Detective Constable Endeavour Morse. The shock death of an artist in a house fire leaves Oxford City Police baffled. When news of the victim’s ties to young Oxford activists is revealed, Endeavour is drawn into the strange world of a Quaker-owned supermarket, deepening the mystery. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Joanna Lumley’s TransSiberian Adventure The second in a three-part series which sees Joanna Lumley travel the 6,400 mile route from Hong Kong to Moscow. 11.15 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Highlights from the Aviva Premiership rugby tournament. 12.15am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 – 7.40am Children’s television 7.40 Little Princess 7.55 Pip Ahoy! 8.10 Blaze And The Monster Machines 8.40 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.55 Wanda And The Alien 9.10 Jelly Jamm 9.20 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.30 LazyTown 9.55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.30 Funniest Falls, Fails & Flops 10.55 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 11.55 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 12.50pm FILM: Over Her Dead Body (2008) 2.35 FILM: The First Wives Club (1996) 4.35 FILM: Disney’s Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005) 6.35 5 News Weekend 6.40 FILM: Star Trek: Generations (1994) Starring Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner. The sci-fi saga continues when the two famous captains of the starship Enterprise are thrown together by a freak of time to defeat the evil schemes of Dr Soran. Captains Picard and Kirk are united in the 24th century to prevent Soran from destroying many civilisations. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside CBB’s vaudeville themed house. Catch up on all the drama, action, arguments, and friendships and eavesdrop on the latest conversations in the diary room. 10.00 The Bafta Britannia Awards 2015 Ceremony presenting the highest accolade bestowed by BAFTA Los Angeles, reserved for artists who dedicate their careers to advancing the art forms of the moving image. Hosted by Jack Whitehall at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. 11.55 FILM: The River Wild (1994) Starring Meryl Streep, Kevin Bacon, David Strathairn, Joseph Mazzello, Elizabeth Hoffman, John C Reilly. Fast-paced action thriller. 1.55am SuperCasino 3.10 World’s Most Dangerous Prison 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Make It Big (x3) 5.45 Angels Of Jarm (x2)

6.00 Channel 4 News 6.20 FILM: Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012) Starring John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Aziz Ansari and Ray Romano. Animation. Unlikely prehistoric pals Manny the mammoth, Sid the sloth and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger are cast into a climate catastrophe, when the cooling glaciers divide their world in two. 8.00 Walking The Himalayas Travel documentary series following explorer Levison Wood as he challenges himself to walk the length of the world’s highest mountain range, from Afghanistan to Bhutan. 9.00 Deutschland 83 Drama following an undercover agent in Cold War Germany. Martin is ordered to break into a high-ranking NATO officer’s hotel room to steal a topsecret report. 10.00 The 80s: Ten Years That Changed Britain 11.30 FILM: Footloose (1984) Starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, Dianne Wiest, John Lithgow, Elizabeth Gorcey. Based loosely on true events, Herbert Ross’ muchloved musical drama features a young Kevin Bacon in his breakout role. 1.25am SuperScrimpers: Winter Survival Tips 2.20 Come Dine With Me (x5)4.35 Gadget Man 5.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 5.10 Deal Or No Deal

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8.00am Monkey Life (x6) 11.00 WWE: Raw 12.00pm Cricket’s Funniest Moments 1.00 Futurama (x6) 4.00 Modern Family (x4) 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Big Cats: An Amazing Animal Family 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Stop Search Seize 12.00am Air Ambulance ER 1.00 Britcam: Emergency

7.00pm Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 7.20 The Voice UK 9.00 FILM: Puss In Boots (2011) 10.20 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35am Russell Howard’s Good News 1.05 Siblings 1.35 I Know What You Weighed Last Summer 2.35 FILM: Once (2006)

7.00pm India’s Frontier Railways 8.00 Empire Of The Tsars: Romanov Russia With Lucy Worsley. See highlights. 9.00 Darcey Bussell’s Looking For Audrey 10.00 Goya Exposed With Jake Chapman 10.30 Flamenco: Gypsy Soul 11.30 Queen Of Versailles 1.00am Genesis: Together And Apart

11.40am Take Me Out 1.00pm Take Me Out: The Gossip 2.00 Catchphrase 2.45 FILM: Bean (1997) 4.30 FILM: The Lost World - Jurassic Park (1997) 7.00 FILM: Nanny Mcphee And The Big Bang (2010) 9.00 FILM: Casino Royale (2006) 11.50 Fhm: The Last Of The Lads’ Mags 12.50am Reality Bites

11.50am Columbo: Rest In Peace, Mrs Columbo 1.50pm The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes (x2) 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 6.00 Midsomer Murders 8.00 The Cruise Ship (x2) 9.00 Bette Midler: One Night Only 10.00 Wycliffe 11.15 FILM: Private Benjamin (1980) 1.25am FILM: The Pianist (2002)

9.00am The Goldbergs (x2) 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm FILM: Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back (2010) 2.05 The Big Bang Theory (x9) 6.30 FILM: Iron Man (2008) 9.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 10.00 Tattoo Fixers 11.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 12.10am The IT Crowd (x2)

10.20am Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 11.25 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 11.55 Come Dine With Me (x5) 2.40pm Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Tiny House Nation 9.00 FILM: The Taking Of Pelham 123 (2009) 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am My Darling Clementine (1946) 1.00pm August Rush (2007) 3.15 Biggles (1986) 5.05 Step Up: Miami Heat (2012) 7.00 Run, Fat Boy, Run (2007) 9.00 Side Effects (2013) 11.10 Haywire (2011) 1.00am Wall Street (1987) 3.35 Close

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027_LS760_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 18/12/2015 15:37 Page 1

MONDAY 11 Crashing Channel 4, 10pm There are heaps of ways to find a place to live these days, and this new sitcom has a gang of twentysomethings shacking up together as property guardians in a disused hospital. That’s using you’re noggin! Mixing it up, the established tenants find their happy eco-system shaken up with the arrival of newbie Lulu.

Gotham: Rise Of The Villains Channel Five, 10pm Detective Jim Gordon is the moral backbone of Gotham’s police force, right? So what happens when he gets all turned around and in a muddle? Lawks, we’re in for a bumpy ride if young Jimbo can’t steer us right, and turning to the Penguin for help was never going to be the best idea in his idea box.

I Know What You Weighed Last Summer BBC3, 9pm Part two of this documentary series following a group of obese teenagers as they spend five weeks at a camp together, bonding over the tackling of their weight issues. Using controversial methods, these teens are pushed to their limits in a bid to improve thier health.

¸ terrestrial 6.00am Brighton Hi-Lights 6.30 Get Up And Go 7.00 Teleshopping 7.30 Growing Concerns 8.00 Teleshopping 8.30 Get Up And Go 9.00 Teleshopping 9.30 The Newspapers 10.00 Teleshopping 10.30 Growing Concerns 11.00 Teleshopping 11.30 The Vote (x3) 1.00pm The Newspapers 1.30 Growing Concerns 2.00 Get Up And Go 2.30 The Newspapers 3.00 Latest TV's Big News 5.00 Noise Floor 5.30 Brighton Album Chart Show 6.00 Latest News 6.30 The Newspapers Mike Mendoza is joined by guests to discuss the week's stories in the press. 7.00 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show Guy Lloyd explores the subjects that affect our everyday life by searching YouTube and getting the views of guests and the general public. 7.30 Latest News 8.00 The Vote Frank Le Duc is joined by guests to cover local and national politics. 8.30 In The Pot Join Livvy and Chrissy in the Devilled Egg Kitchen Academy in Bristol on a culinary journey. 9.00 Latest News 9.30 International Chef Exchange International Chef exchange does Den Haag and Brighton. 10.30 Latest News 11.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton Climb aboard Nick Coquet's misty-eyed, musical merry-go-round. 11.30 On The Verge New sounds and breaking bands. 12.00am Latest News 12.30 The Newspapers 1.00 Guy Lloyd's Telly Show 1.30 Latest News 2.00 The Vote 2.30 In The Pot 3.00 Latest News 3.30 International Chef Exchange 4.30 Latest News 5.00 CoquetBar Breakfast In Brighton 5.30 On The Verge

BBC1

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Channel Five

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Holiday 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Wanted Down Under 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Father Brown 2.30 For What It’s Worth 3.15 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin: Home Comforts 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.15am Rip Off Britain: Holidays 7.00 Wanted Down Under 7.45 Close Calls: On Camera 8.15 World’s Sneakiest Animals 9.15 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Masters Snooker

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Jon Cuthill investigates the latest meat scam involving butchers, abattoirs and a restaurant chain in Sussex where goat is being passed off as lamb. 8.00 EastEnders Martin grows concerned about Stacey’s whereabouts and soon receives help from Nancy and Tamwar. 8.30 Can You Stop My Multiple Sclerosis? - Panorama Panorama. 9.00 Silent Witness Forensic crime drama series. The murder of a wellknown anti-fundamentalist Muslim, Amir Aziz, leads the Lyell team to question who would kill this peaceful but outspoken man. Suspicion quickly falls on a local taxi driver. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 Tracey Ullman’s Show Comedy sketch show. Tracey Ullman returns to British screens. This episode features a delinquent Dame Judi Dench. With a guest star appearance from Rupert Grint. 11.15 Have I Got Old News For You Another chance to see the prizewinning comedy quiz show. 11.45 The Graham Norton Show 12.30am Masters Snooker - Extra 2.30 Weather For The Week Ahead 2.35 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo journeys around Britain. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. 8.00 University Challenge Quiz show for students. 8.30 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell. 9.00 Immortal Egypt With Joann Fletcher Joann Fletcher explains how Ancient Egypt’s extraordinary story fits together. Joann explores how the Pyramid Age ended in catastrophe. In one of Saqqara’s last pyramid complexes, Joann uncovers evidence of famine as the young Egyptian state suffered a worsening climate and political upheaval. With depleted coffers, Egypt was plunged into the dark ages and civil war. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Evan Davis. 11.15 Masters Snooker Highlights Masters Snooker Highlights. 12.05am My Mediterranean With Adrian Chiles 1.05 Sign Zone: A Life On Screen - Stephen Fry 2.05 Sign Zone: A Grand Night In: The Story Of Aardman

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Pete struggles to fight his feelings. 7.30 Coronation Street Carla drops a bombshell on Nick. 8.00 Griff’s Great Britain Griff Rhys Jones sets out to explore some of Britain’s most beautiful landscapes. In this episode, he explores the picturesque estuaries of Suffolk and Essex where he attempts to eat a Colchester native, and helps to build a replica of the Mayflower. 8.30 Coronation Street Carla does a volte-face. Tyrone and Fiz have a glimmer of hope. 9.00 Benidorm The Spanish resortbased sitcom returns for an eighth series. The Solana welcomes the Dawson family for the first time and Grandad Eddie is already causing trouble when he nearly drowns his own granddaughter. Tiger brings along a new pal, Joey - who has never been abroad before. 10.00 ITV News At Ten 10.40 Saved Four-part series combining gritty dramatic reconstructions with the vivid and emotional recollections of members of the public whose lives have been saved by total strangers. 11.40 The Chase Quiz show. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 The King Of Queens 7.10 The King Of Queens 7.35 The King Of Queens 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss USA 11.30 Four In A Bed 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Four In A Bed 12.40 Four In A Bed 1.10 Four In A Bed 1.40 Four In A Bed 2.10 Deal Or No Deal 3.10 Countdown 4.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren is at breaking point when Ben becomes suspicious of his story. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 How To Lose Weight Well Dr Xand van Tulleken and dietician Hala El-Shafie help six dieters as they attempt the most hyped and written about diets on the market today. The dieters are divided into three timeframes: Crashers on short term diets; Shape Shifters on six week programmes; and Life Changers on four month dieting plans. 9.00 The Undateables Documentary series following people with a variety of disabilities as they look for love. Football and EastEnders fan James from Essex has not had a girlfriend in over ten years. The 32-year-old has a learning disability and has struggled to meet a girl who will see him as more than just a friend. 10.00 Crashing See highlights. 10.35 Tattoo Fixers Reality series in which tattoo artists join forces to fix the UK’s shocking tattoo catastrophes. 11.35 Bodyshockers: Nips, Tucks And Tattoos Documentary series. 12.35am Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 1.30 Grand Designs Australia 2.25 The Restoration Man 3.25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.20 Gadget Man 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 1001 Things You Should Know

6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Wissper 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Pip Ahoy! 7.10 Little Princess 7.20 Bob The Builder 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Paw Patrol 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Toot The Tiny Tugboat 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Left To Die (2012) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Leah tries to make Evelyn see that Tank is coming between her and her family and friends, but it just makes her even more defiant and she shows Leah her ‘T’ tattoo before storming out. 6.30 5 News Tonight 7.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Reality series. An increase in temperature pits the truckers against rapidly thinning ice - and pressures Art into making mistakes that jeopardise his job. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the latest events from inside CBB’s vaudeville themed house. Catch up on all the drama, action, arguments, and friendships and eavesdrop on the latest conversations in the diary room. 10.00 Gotham: Rise Of The Villains See highlights. 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Rylan Clark-Neal is joined by a variety of celebrity panellists and an audience of CBB fans to debate hot topics, reveal exclusives and go behind the scenes of the main show. 12.00am Celebrity Big Brother: Heroes And Villains 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 Bargain Loving Brits In The Sun 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 The Great Artists 4.45 House Doctor (x3) Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Forever 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x23) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 10.00 A League Of Their Own 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 1.00am Forever

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 I Know What You Weighed Last Summer. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Siblings 11.00 American Dad! (x2) 11.45 Family Guy (x2) 12.30am Siblings 1.00 I Know What You Weighed Last Summer 2.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.00 I Know What You Weighed Last Summer

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sorry! 8.00 Horizon: What’s Wrong With Our Weather? 9.00 To Boldly Go 10.00 Legends Of The Deep: Giant Squid 10.45 Blondie: One Way Or Another 11.55 Darcey Bussell’s Looking For Audrey 12.55am Secret Voices Of Hollywood 2.25 To Boldly Go 3.25 Britain On Film

12.45pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.45 FILM: Baby Mama (2008) 3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 5.50 Take Me Out 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: 21 Jump Street (2012) 11.10 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 11.45 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am Safeword

1.10pm Heartbeat 2.15 Wild At Heart 3.20 Where The Heart Is 4.20 Man About The House 4.55 Rising Damp 5.25 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Law & Order: UK 11.00 Case Sensitive 12.00am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

3.00pm Melissa & Joey (x2) 4.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 5.00 The Goldbergs (xw) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 All Hail The Veil 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Rude Tube 10.00 Scream Queens 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Brooklyn Nine-Nine (x2)

10.50am FILM: Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 1.05pm Time Team 2.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 4.50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 5.45 A Place In The Sun (x2) 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 10.00 24 Hours In A&E (x2) 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am The Stranger Wore A Gun (1953) 12.40pm The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 2.50 The Reckless Moment (1949) 4.30 The Devil At 4 O’Clock (1961) 7.05 Fast Girls (2012) 9.00 The Watch (2012) 11.00 Limitless (2011) 1.05am Like You Know It All (2009) 3.40 Close