Indeed, it is very good Photo by Robin Lee ROBIN LEE The car reeked of chlorine. I sat in the parking lot, my daughter still in her swimming suit, basking in the significant progress she made in just a few days of aqua therapy. We flew nearly 3,000 miles to get help. The speech therapist we sought out then connected us with an aquatic therapist who worked her magic in the pool. Ryan learned how to control her airflow enough to blow a whistle. She began to learn to swim. It was incredible. There, in a rental car warm from the summer sun, the most overwhelming grief washed over me. Tears were uncontrollable as I sobbed and took deep breaths. Pulling out of the parking lot — leaving these women who helped my daughter so much — I learned an incredible truth: We only grieve what we are grateful for. I was profoundly grateful for their help, and I was desperately sad to go home and face the challenges alone. Again. Several months later, my daughter and I drove hundreds of miles to a week-long swimming clinic for kids with special needs. I watched more gifted therapists, in the pool, with more precious kids. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
The first day a beautiful, curly-haired, autistic preschooler sobbed and screamed the entire lesson. The instructor was unphased and upbeat. The little girl’s daddy was steady and confident, but her mom had to walk around the corner and collect herself. Sometimes, you just need to catch your breath. The second day, the precious cherub only cried for 20 minutes. The final day, that brave little champion jumped in the water, laughing and splashing. This time it was her mom who sobbed the whole way through, tears of joy and enormous pride staining her cheeks. It is difficult, sometimes, to put into words what an incredible privilege parenting special needs kids is. They are warriors who muster tremendous courage to do things that come easily to most people and add color and texture to the ordinary. However, this parenting road is not without costs. Those costs, unfortunately, can be relationships. My college student daughter shared with me the experience of talking about her sister with her friends. As she explains what our life is like, they stare pityingly, with eyes wide and jaws open. “She’s actually one of the happiest people I know,” she tells them.
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FALL 2019
