M A G A Z I N E
F O R
T E X A S
W O M E N
EUSSI YADILOH EHT
12O2 YRAUNAJ - 0202 REBMEVON
T H E
LAUREN FLAKE FOUNDER OF LOVE OF DIXIE AND DAUGHTERS OF DEMENTIA
FIVE FAVORITE FINDS FOR WINTER
FINDING HOPE AFTER HEARTACHE
DIY CHRISTMAS CENTERPIECES
CONTACT US LOVE OF DI XI E lauren@loveofdixie.com loveofdixie.com Facebook & Instagram @loveofdixie Photo by Carly Fretwell Photography
EDITORIAL
HOWDY!
Welcome to the holiday issue. It has been an undeniably long year. The pandemic has upended jobs, birthdays, holidays, school, and travel plans. Healthcare workers and first responders are exhausted. In 2020, we have lost friends, relatives, and beloved celebrities. The election cycle has been brutal. And apparently, COVID-19, masks, and murder hornets are not going away anytime soon. Those of us at Love of Dixie magazine thought that now would be a great time to spread a little hope and joy to our readers.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! LAUREN FLAKE Founder
LAUREN FLAKE Editor-in-Chief
CONTRIBUTORS Cheyenne Bell, Terri Jackson, Claire Mummert, and Andrea Stunz
All content © 2020 For the Love of Dixie, LLC, unless otherwise stated.
ADVERTISING FI ND US ONLI NE loveofdixie.com/ magazine
CONTACT lauren@loveofdixie.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS 03 Texas Strong Woman: Lauren Flake
06 Devotional: Excerpt from Though I Walk through the Valley
06
08
08 Lone Star Lifestyle: Picks for the Holidays 09 Finding Hope after Heartache 12 DIY Christmas Centerpieces
09
12
25 Seeking Light in the Darkness 28 When Hope Is What You're Hoping for
25
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HOLIDAY 2020
LAUREN FLAKE FOUNDER OF LOVE OF DIXIE AND DAUGHTERS OF DEMENTIA
Buda, Texas
WHAT I'M READING
On the memoir front, I just finished reading The Price of Admission, which is amazing, by my Her View From Home writer friend Liz Petrone and started Everything Beautiful in Its Time by Jenna Bush Hager. My current favorite children's book is the incredibly helpful A Kids Book about Death by Texas Children's Hospital Grief and Bereavement Specialist Taryn Schuelke, CT, CCLS.
WHAT I'M WATCHING
I'm currently working my way through Season 3 of The Crown on Netflix in preparation for the release of Season 4. This show combines everything I love — European and American history; British tradition; beautiful views of London architecture and the U.K.; the intersection of faith, culture, and politics; incredible acting; gorgeous fashion; romance; and gripping drama — into one addictive masterpiece. Photos by Carly Fretwell Photography
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HOLIDAY 2020
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO
I've been listening to Taylor Swift's new album, Folklore, since it was released. But my all-time favorite Christmas albums for this holiday season are Zooey Deschanel's A Very She & Him Christmas, Christmas Time with the Judds, Bing Crosby's White Christmas, and Kacey Musgraves' A Very Kacey Christmas. WHAT I'M LEARNING
I am learning to set healthy rhythms, habits, and schedules for myself. I am in my second year of adult tap classes and my first semester of progressing ballet training classes to improve my balance, joint stability, and core strength. I am learning patience and persistence as I am currently finishing up my DIY kitchen makeover with fresh, ultra white cabinet paint and shiny, polished copper backsplash panels. My husband recently started his own engineering firm and has moved into my home office, and with both girls back in in-person school, I am toying with the idea of getting a master's degree in counseling! WHAT I'M WRITING
My first devotional, Though I Walk through the Valley: 12 Days in Psalm 23, releases November 20. I wrote the bulk of this little book two years ago at Love of Dixie magazine contributor Andrea Stunz's home in Helotes. I am so excited to finally get it into your hands! If you are facing grief and heartache, like so many of us are this year, then Though I Walk through the Valley is for you. It also makes a great stocking stuffer this holiday season. I am still contributing frequently at Baby Chick and TODAY Parents and working on a memoir about my journey through grief and dementia caregiving.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Excerpt from 'Though I Walk through the Valley: 12 Days in Psalm 23' LAUREN FLAKE
JOY My cup overflows. - Psalm 23:5
Only a full cup can overflow. No, I am not talking about self care, although that has its place when it is Christcentered. I am talking instead about the internal, deep abiding joy found only in Jesus, despite external circumstances that might be terrible. I am talking about trusting God in the middle of our pain to the point of being grateful for our struggle. While imprisoned, Paul instructed the believers at Philippi to live their faith out loud for all to see: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4-5 NIV) I was raised in the church but I did not understand this concept until experiencing several rounds of dementia caregiving and grief and loss in adulthood. We are called to live like Jesus is coming back always, despite the worst of earthly circumstances. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
God hears our cries, counts our tears, and feels our pain, yet he makes our joy complete. He wants others who lack faith to see our joy and want to grasp hold of it for themselves. Love, hope, and joy are contagious. They are his goodness on display for all to see. David was able to worship God in the wilderness of his difficult and solitary work because he had first worshiped God in the sanctuary as a child. He already had an intimate, personal relationship with the Lord that he could call upon in times of both happiness and of fear and struggle. How have you found his deep and contagious joy in your life? If you have not, what is holding you back? - 6 -
HOLIDAY 2020
Releasing November 20
Lone Star Lifestyle: Picks for the Holidays
Candy Cane 48 oz. Soy Candle Hardeman Candle Company Sealy, Texas hardemancandleco.com
Orange Vanilla Body Butter Rachel's Plan Bee Buda, Texas rachelsplanbee.com
Triple Dark Teal Weave Leather Earrings Lavish Leathers Buda, Texas lavishleathers.com
Well, Girl: An Inside-Out Journey to Wellness Jami Amerine Holiday Tea Advent Calendar Houston, Texas Sips by jamiamerinestudio.com Austin, Texas sipsby.com
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HOLIDAY 2020
Finding Hope after Heartache CLAIRE MUMMERT
From November through January, we celebrate a months-long season devoted to thankfulness, love, friends, and family. While this can feel magical, it can also be devastating for so many of us. Whatever the reason, this time can frequently lead to a feeling of pain and depression rather than peace, love, and joy. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
For my family, this can show itself in many forms from the youngest to the oldest members. Sometimes, it is as simple as large amounts of anxiety over present giving and receiving. Sometimes, it is just wanting so badly for everyone to have a great time. Sometimes, it is something much larger like an empty seat at the dinner table where a loved one should sit. - 9 -
HOLIDAY 2020
I love to look at a picture of my grandfather at Christmas around this time and remember him and his smile even though he is no longer celebrating alongside me.
Don’t worry about the mess, and don’t try to make them look perfect. Just enjoy the process. Eat a few yourself, and then pass some on to someone else.
The question then becomes, how do we cope? Outside of therapies and doctors, which are an amazing resource, what are the little things we can do to find ways to celebrate and let joy into our families? For us, it is about looking outward.
Peanut Butter Balls
My go-to for years has been making my mom’s peanut butter balls and wrapping them in brightly colored cellophane bags to take to the neighbors. Now that my kids are involved, they want to spread joy as well. We make cinnamon applesauce dough and decorate ornaments for those around us. Not only do we create moments of joy and love when we do these things together, but spreading joy to others is what really changes my attitude, too. I encourage you to try making these with someone you care about, whether it is a friend or a family member. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
Ingredients 2 tablespoons butter, melted 1 cup creamy peanut butter 1 cup powdered sugar 1 ½ cups crisped rice cereal 1 1/5 cups chocolate chips Paraffin wax
Combine peanut butter and melted butter in a large bowl. Add powdered sugar and crisped rice cereal, and mix together. Use a spoon to form balls (usually about an inch in diameter, but have fun with it!). Put them on a cookie sheet covered with parchment or wax paper. Chill in the refrigerator. Melt chocolate in a double boiler with half a bar of paraffin wax. Take the balls out of the refrigerator. Use a fork to roll each ball in the melted chocolate, returning it to the wax paper. Place balls in the refrigerator until chocolate is set, and then, eat up! - 10 -
HOLIDAY 2020
Cinnamon applesauce ornaments INGREDIENTS
Equal parts cinnamon and applesauce (I usually use 1 ½ cups of each.) Cookie cutters Drinking straw or skewer Ribbon, twine, or hanger
Mix cinnamon and applesauce together until it forms a thick dough. You can always add more cinnamon or applesauce if the dough is too wet or too dry, respectively. Roll out dough between two sheets of plastic wrap. (It will be sticky and crumbly.) Cut out the shapes you love, and make sure to use a straw or skewer to make a hole at the top so you can hang the ornament!
WE HELP YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED IN LIFE.
Bake at 200 degrees for two hours or until ornaments are hard to the touch. They should smell amazing! Now, decorate! Take these to your neighbors even if you don’t know them. You are not the only one struggling this season, and bringing these to your neighbors will not only bring you joy but also spread joy to those around you. CLAIRE MUMMERT
Claire Mummert is a wife and mom of three. She is an adventure lover, Harry Potter aficionado, polyglot, baker, reader, traveler, and condoner of awkardness. She is passionate about racial justice, adoptee rights, and theology. Currently, she works as a children's/youth minister in Katy, Texas and camps in her free time. Find Claire at OutsidetheExtraneous.com.
Photos by Terri Jackson
DIY Christmas Centerpieces TERRI JACKSON
Christmas Simplicity
If you need a quick centerpiece or feel overwhelmed when thinking about making a holiday centerpiece, I have a solution for you. Traditional green foliage and red berries paired with simple candles are very versatile for Christmas décor. An added bonus is that these are all things you may already have or find for free. A great tip is to ask friends and neighbors if you can trim their trees and plants for them. I scavenged magnolia leaves from a friend’s tree, and the red berries came from a bush outside a doctor’s office, with permission. The vases are part of my collection, but you could easily use another type of vase or even drinking glasses instead. The candles are some I keep on hand for decorating. Finally, you need some faux or real Christmas greenery to add in. Here's a tip: if you buy a real tree, save the clippings from trimming the bottom to use in your centerpiece. The first thing I did was place my vases. I wanted them to flow down the table on either side of the center. Next, I added in the magnolia leaves, breaking some off the branch to cover up the end of the branch. I love how the brown mixes into the greens here from the backside of the leaves. Next, I added my faux pine needles. By adding them on top, it makes it simple to replace them with real ones if you find some. It would really bring the Christmastime smell into your décor. Next, I added the candles into the vases since I only had three on hand. Finally, I filled the remaining vases with red berries. I cut apart the stems until I liked the look in each vase. There is no wrong way; play around and have fun with your centerpiece!
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HOLIDAY 2020
Farmhouse Christmas
In this centerpiece, I pulled together items that are generally in my hallway as décor: a slice of wood, a white bowl, and a white ashtray I use as a candle holder. I cut fresh greenery from my mother's yard to go along with my faux pine sprigs. At the craft store, I grabbed red ornaments and mini tree décor. This one was also simple to create. I placed the bowl on the wood piece in the center with the white ashtray beside it. You need something to fill the bottom of the bowl, so you don’t waste your décor on being unseen. White cloth napkins did the trick for me, but you could use tissue paper, Kraft paper, or Styrofoam. Next, I added the ornaments to the bowls. Using floral wire, I wired together pieces of faux and fresh greenery to make bundles that I fashioned around the center like a wreath. For the final touch, I tucked sprigs of greenery around the ornaments. I created a napkin holder look with a chalkboard sign and some of the berry garland as a tie. Tip: Make sure you form your faux greenery. It has wire running through it, and you can use that to shape your products, adding depth and form. Additionally, think of how you can layer. Here, I added the berry sprigs (that I cut apart and off of their stem) into the middle of the pine so that they would stand up. I treated the real greenery in the same manner, threading it into the upright pine.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Red and White Whimsy
This centerpiece uses the same greenery as the farmhouse setup, and I pulled some candy-cane-colored pieces from my Christmas décor. I also found some cute red and white ornaments at the craft store. This centerpiece would be fun on a long table. It was set up very similarly to how you should trim a tree. Starting with the greenery, I went straight down the middle. Then, I added my two largest picks at either end. Next, I took the ribbon and used the loop, twist, and tie off method to add it into the greenery. Then, I added in my picks to accent the ribbon. Finally, I added my largest ornaments followed by the smallest ones. There is plenty of room for candles, if you want to add in some candlesticks.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Vintage Christmas
Incorporating items I have already to make a fresh statement is something that keeps my creative soul alive. Mixing living and non-living items together is my jam. You can do so much by shopping your home, yard, and even swapping amongst friends. Don’t be afraid to ask for a clipping of a plant, or if a friend is changing up their décor, ask if you can have dibs on their last year's items they are no longer using. I pulled some of my living tillandsia that are usually spread throughout my kitchen and living room. I also stole the faux lamb’s ear garland and stems that are usually on my mantle. Magnolia leaves came from a friend’s tree. The bottle brush trees came from my Christmas collection, and the faux, frosted eucalyptus stems came from the craft store. I picked up only one new item to complete the look in this centerpiece.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Laying out the magnolia leaves was the first step. Then, I placed lamb’s ear garland down the center of the table and looped it at the ends to hide the two end pieces. I used the stems of lamb’s ear and eucalyptus to make spots look fuller, especially around the curves. Next, I sat the bottle brush trees into the holes of the looping greenery and found balance with placement as well. The final step was adding in tillandsia to accent and hide the mechanics. I suggest always finding something to have in your supplies to use at the end to hide mechanics or anything that needs to be covered up. This one was very simple, and I mostly shopped my own things. You could add quirky vintage ornaments to really take it over the top and bring some character and memories to your table. Or you could add miniature picture frames with Santa photos of your kids or the adults in your family as kids as a fun way to celebrate Christmases past with your current tablescape. Golden Holiday
For this centerpiece I wanted to use the special glassware my mother recently gave me. I picked some fun dishes of different shapes because what else am I going to do with a banana split boat? I also pulled out some flocked faux greenery that I use to help fill out my Christmas trees. At the craft store, I picked up some small gold ornaments meant for decorating mini trees, plus faux gold poinsettias, faux gold leaves, and berry stems. First, I set up the bowls in a triangular pattern and filled them with gold ornaments. Next, I wired the faux greenery together to lay between the vases and fill out the spaces. I thought the gold poinsettias would look great next to the largest bowl so I really fluffed that one out. I cut apart one of the gold berry stems to tuck here and there with wire snips. I left the other stem together to make a statement piece beside the poinsettia. Then, as I stepped back to look, I felt like the main bowl could use more height so I added a candle to the middle. Finally, I picked up mini gold poinsettia ties for a miniature tree but thought they would make fabulous napkin rings to really tie together this tablescape with their future place settings.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Glam It Up
But we aren’t done with this one yet! Blush pink is all the rage this Christmas, and if it is something you are looking to bring to your table, here is an idea. Using a base of golds, add in rose gold and blush pink. I pulled these items from my spring supplies: faux rose stems and a few faux greenery sprigs with light pink flowers. Think outside the Christmas décor box. What other décor do you have packed away that you could use to bring out your Christmas theme? From the craft store, I purchased a faux blush poinsettia and blush pink ball picks and berries picks. Then, I layered these items into the already existing gold arrangement adding in the gold ribbon I didn’t use in the earlier arrangement by creating loops throughout.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Bright New Year
I suggest grabbing things you think might work and then using what you need and
This option can take you from holiday parties
returning or repurposing the rest. In the end,
through the new year. I used a Relived
I didn’t want the mirror balls, icicle garland,
Timber charcuterie board as the main piece.
and some of the greenery. As I was putting it
This is great because now I have an instant
together, I got to a point where I was happy
place, when friends drop by throughout the
so I quit. Have fun this holiday season!
holidays, to set out a quick dip or a cheese and fruit selection for nibbling. (You can see from the materials pictured that I actually didn’t use all of the things I first picked out.)
TERRI JACKSON
Terri Jackson is a wife, mom of two boys, professional florist, Disney World trip enthusiast, coconut sparkling water junkie, backyard party hostess extraordinaire, and all-around craft genius in Buda, Texas. You can find her at TheInspiredHaus.com.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Seeking light in the darkness Photo by Kendall Dean Photography
This November I was supposed to celebrate my 10-year anniversary with my husband. We had made grand plans to spend our tenth anniversary together in Scotland, a place that I love and would like to see again, and a place that my husband wanted to experience for the first time. He had even started planning our itinerary: we were to visit Edinburgh, walk the halls of the castle, visit grave sites and ruins, shop for kilts and scarves, drink a bunch of whiskey and try haggis, then spend several days at a bed and breakfast in the Highlands. It was the trip of a lifetime, and we were so looking forward to it.
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CHEYENNE BELL
“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness.” - Desmond Tutu CHEYENNE BELL
Cheyenne Bell is a writer and blogger with a slight obsession for old homes and good coffee. Her blog, Sense & Serendipity, focuses on inspiring others to create a home well-loved and a life well-lived. Cheyenne lives in San Marcos, Texas with her two young children. Find her at SenseandSerendipityblog.com.
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HOLIDAY 2020
Little did we know when we started planning this trip that we would never see Scotland together. And I would never celebrate 10 years of marriage with this man. Because in October of 2017, he died suddenly in the middle of the night. I was left behind in a sea of confusion, grief, pain, and fear, watching as my beloved, and all our dreams, crumbled and floated away like the leaves on the trees. That October three years ago was the start of the darkest season of my life. Not only did I have to say goodbye to my 36-year-old husband far too soon, I also had to let go of everything we had built together. Being young and naïve, we hadn’t prepared our wills, we didn’t have life insurance, and we had little assets to our name. As a stay-athome mom of two young kids, I couldn’t afford to keep our house and I had no idea how I was going to survive. The only thing I had left of my former life were my two beautiful children. But, oh, how broken we all were.
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We clung to each other like life rafts as we rode the waves of grief through his memorial, then Halloween, then our anniversary, then the kids’ birthdays, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and finally my birthday. The joy that my family has during the holiday season dimmed for all of us that year, and I worried that we would never get it back. People never know how they will respond when faced with deep, abiding grief, and I was no different. As a naturally cynical, darkhumored, suspicious person, I worried that this grief would eat away at whatever joy I had left in my bruised and battered heart. I surprised myself (and probably a lot of my family), however, when I found myself doing something in my grief that doesn’t come naturally to me: I was seeking the light. I was looking for hope. And, even more surprising, I was finding it. That first year after losing my husband, I managed to see the great many blessings that rained down onto me and my babies. Great outpourings of love, gifts, provision, food, and kindness.
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HOLIDAY 2020
I witnessed God putting people in my path exactly when I needed them. I felt him moving in me, encouraging me, emboldening me, giving me strength and wisdom when I thought I had none. When I fell back into the darkness, and I did often, he would show me just enough light to make me want to keep seeking, keep hoping, keep moving forward. And so I would get up, dry my eyes, hug my kids, and keep looking for the light. This year, I have been falling into darkness again. Living through the madness and chaos that the world has thrust upon all of us has been more difficult without my husband to be my rock. He was always so good at giving me the support I needed, being my sounding board, letting me rail and cry when I needed to. Without him, I have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. How am I going to protect my children from this? How are we going to get through this? I am not strong enough, wise enough, prepared enough. The darkness has been threatening to pull us under again, and I have found myself despairing.
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Yesterday, I broke down in tears. After all this time, the grief still comes in strong waves around the holidays. As I cried, I reached out to a couple of trusted people and told them how I was feeling. And they both reminded me of what I knew in my heart, but needed to hear: do not let the darkness steal your hope. You must continue to seek the light, be the light, move towards the light. It is there, in your children. It is there, in your family. It is there, in your friends and loved ones who have walked beside you all this time. It is there, in your God, who has never forsaken you. If you choose to look for it, you will still find it. Grief is a teacher, I am finding. The lessons I have learned through this journey have been many, but one remains the hardest but also the most important: finding hope after heartbreak is a choice. So, again, I will choose to be a lightseeker. A hope-bringer. A faithwalker. I will choose to open my eyes in the darkness and expect to find the light.
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HOLIDAY 2020
When Hope Is What You're Hoping for ANDREA STUNZ
Are you living on the fumes of hope? Maybe optimism has carried you for a while but it, along with hope, finds the tank sputtering. You are not alone. Regardless of our belief system, hope plays an essential role in our lives. Hope keeps the wheels turning. Hope for a job. Hope that cancer doesn't win. Hope for healing. Hope for a reliable car. Hope for a paycheck. Hope for a good hair day. Hope for a restored relationship. I could go on and on. Our desperate desire to hope is the stuff of life itself. If we're breathing, we're hoping. Just try to stop, either. Okay, don't do that, it wouldn't end well. But, when we lose hope, when we stop hoping, we stop living. My guess is that at some point in your life, maybe even right now, you can relate to what you just read. Pollyanna-like optimism is unreliable and fleeting but we can never give up on true hope. Hope, like breathing, is crucial to life.
There are seasons when hope feels like a hat trick. There are days when hope seems invisible. There are moments when hope feels like the slow-drowning of quicksand. These seasons, days, and moments are when we need to remind ourselves of what we know, what we've seen, what we've experienced — the truth — and nothing but the truth.
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HOLIDAY 2020
When you're in the trenches, and hope is
Beauty is out there, even in the dark.
what you're hoping for, here are a few Birds continue to sing.
truths that you can take to the bank, as they say.
For most of my life, I did not understand You are breathing right now.
the fascination with bird watching. But when deep sorrow entered my story,
You have survived life up to this point,
watching and listening to birds became a
and you are still surviving. You have faced
lifeline.
hardships, trials, and trauma, and in this moment, your heart beats, and your chest
Go outside and listen to them sing their
rises and falls as you inhale and exhale.
songs to one another – even in the rain. They are out there flitting and fluttering
Every breath you breathe is Hope itself –
in reckless abandon. Their chirps are a
YaHWeH.
song of hope.
The sun rose today.
Remember that your feet face forward.
Every morning, through clear skies, rain, or fog, a new day comes. Again. Until it
Seriously! God designed our bodies to
doesn't. And so far, the sun continues to
move in a forward motion. Moving
shine.
forward comes naturally. It takes considerable effort to look behind us. Our
"Because of the Lord’s great love we are
brains have to work harder to reverse.
not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is
You are not alone.
your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV)
You may not see this as truth at the moment, but it very much is. I told a
Beauty does exist.
friend once that I felt hopeless. She said she would hope for me.
This truth may take a bit of effort, but even in pain, there is beauty somewhere.
If you're struggling to find hope for
My friend and author, Aundi Kolber,
yourself, reach out. Someone near you
explains in her book, Try Softer, how she
has an extra measure.
takes time to go beauty hunting.
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HOLIDAY 2020
From experience, I know this to be true.
[Check out Danny Gokey's video for his
In my life, the times I didn't reach out for
song, Hope in Front of Me, at
help to hope were times when I didn't
youtu.be/O5GFiDdGGGM.]
want to feel the pain I knew it would expose. But hear me when I say that reaching out for hope takes much less effort than staying stuck. ANDREA STUNZ
What truth(s) from your own life experience do you already know that you can remind yourself of? When you find yourself hoping for hope, keep hoping. Follow the path just a little bit farther, hope is just ahead.
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Andrea Stunz is a welltraveled Texan currently living near Dallas after having previously lived in Brazil, Asia, and the U.K. She finds joy in her family, grace in her friends, beauty in a story, purpose in the sunrise, wonder in her travels, and hope in Colossians 1:17. Find Andrea at AndreaStunz.com.
HOLIDAY 2020