T H E
M A G A Z I N E
F O R
T E X A S
W O M E N
9102 YAM-HCRAM
EUSSIÂ GNIRPS EHT
KRISTIN SCHELL AUTHOR OF THE TURQUOISE TABLE
FIVE FAVORITE FINDS FOR SPRING
HOPE AND HOSPITALITY
A DAUGHTER'S ALZHEIMER'S STORY
CONTACT US LOVE OF DI XI E 512.295.0091 lauren@loveofdixie.com loveofdixie.com Photo by Hilary Roberts Photography
EDITORIAL LAUREN FLAKE Editor-in-Chief
HOWDY!
Welcome to the spring issue.
The third installment of Love of Dixie magazine is all about grabbing hold of hope and hospitality in this season of renewal. If you're new here, we're elated that you're joining us for the first time. If you're back for more, well, thanks for sticking with us! We've poured our hearts into this issue, and we pray that our words inspire you to open your front door, find the season's first Bluebonnets, plan a picnic with your family, and invite your neighbors over for coffee. Don't forget to keep your eyes open for new opportunities and your soul open to new chances. (And be sure to watch out for snakes!)
Here's to springtime! LAUREN FLAKE Founder
CONTRIBUTORS Cheyenne Bell, Michelle Discavage, Lindsey Finlay, Jordan Harrell, Terri Jackson, Hollie Kaszynski, Robin Lee, KariAnn Lessner, Kaylynn Schrandt, Andrea Stunz
Cover photo by Taylor Prinsen Photography All content © 2019 For the Love of Dixie, LLC, unless otherwise stated.
ADVERTISING FI ND US ONLI NE loveofdixie.com/ magazine CONTACT lauren@loveofdixie.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS 03 Texas Strong Woman: Kristin Schell 05 Lone Star Lifestyle: Picks for Spring 06 Entertainment: Come on over, and Sit a Spell... 07 Simplify: Why You Should Watch "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo"
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09 Gardening: Herb Starter Party 13 Devotional: Do You See Hope? 14 Let's Just Eat: Celebrating the Chaos 18 Décor: 7 Tips for Creating a Hospitable Home
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22 Beauty and Wellness: Spring Cleaning with Essential Oils 23 Featured Article: Where One Sister Lacks... 26 A Family that Grows 29 Women Traveling Alone - Daunting but Doable
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KRISTIN SCHELL AUTHOR AND FOUNDER OF THE TURQUOISE TABLE
Austin, Texas
WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE TITLES FOR YOURSELF AND WHY?
My favorite titles are Mom, Mrs., Neighbor, and Queso Lover. WHO ARE YOUR ROLE MODELS OR MENTORS?
My mother and father laid a strong foundation for understanding what community means. They continue to set an example of being faithful to family, church, neighbors, and our city. My faith mentor is a woman named Jan Skaggs who has raised me up in Christ. She and my mother are dear friends and so I’d say I’m the luckiest girl ever to have a mama and spiritual mama in my life. Photo by Taylor Prinsen Photography
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WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR OR CHALLENGE?
I’m not afraid of failing as a leader. It’s a given that I’ll continue to make plenty of mistakes. I’m more afraid of success. What’s the true cost of leading a successful, thriving movement? Can I do that? What does it mean for my family and, let’s be honest, my sanity!?! I’m learning a lot about margins and boundaries, which is hard but essential as I balance work and family life. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT?
My greatest accomplishment is saying “yes” to God when he invited me on this community-building adventure. That’s more faith than an accomplishment, but I do wonder what I would have missed if I had ignored his invitation. Publishing "The Turquoise Table" and hosting The Turquoise Table podcast are accomplishments I never dreamed of achieving. HOW ARE YOU BUILDING COMMUNITY RIGHT NOW?
I’m an Enneagram 7 and a Connector on the StrengthsFinder assessment — so whatever I’m doing, it generally involves bringing people together and connecting them in meaningful ways. Practically speaking, I’m trying to practice the ministry of presence for my family and neighbors. Being available to listen is a huge blessing of The Turquoise Table.
WHAT IS A FAVORITE QUOTE OR VERSE YOU LIVE BY?
"Take every opportunity to open your life and home to others." (Romans 12:13 The Voice) WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT CENTRAL TEXAS IN THE SPRING?
Helloooooo, perfect Turquoise Table season! I love the perfect weather, walking around Lady Bird Lake, sipping margaritas al fresco, and seeing everyone come alive outside. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE TEXAS-BASED NONPROFITS TO SUPPORT?
I’m an 8th generation Texan and have lived in Austin for over 30 years, so that’s like asking me which one of my four kids is my favorite. My husband Tony and I have been supporters of so many local causes and nonprofits over the years. Right now, my friends at ReWork Project are at the top of our long list. ReWork helps transition men and women out of homelessness. They have been building Turquoise Tables for us for three years — handmade, hand-painted, delivered with love. These strong layers of community are important to me.
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Yeats Wood Sign Sixth Day Design Buda, Texas facebook.com/SixthDayDesign
Lone Star Lifestyle: Picks for Spring Rainbow Dolly Tee Hank & Scoot Bellville, Texas hankandscoot.com
Fruit of the Spirit Bracelet Be Wee Shop Dripping Springs, Texas beweeshop.com A Woman's Best Friend Tea Towel Heather Gauthier Art San Antonio, Texas heathergauthier.com
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Gather & Love Coffee Mug The Turquoise Table Austin, Texas theturquoisetable.com
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Come on over, and Sit a Spell... KARIANN LESSNER Spring in the Lone Star State can be a mixed bag. I am never quite sure what the day’s weather will bring. I tend to dress for every season this time of year. We could experience spring showers, cold and breezy, hot and muggy, or all of the above within a twenty-four hour span. When the sun comes out for the second day in a row, it’s time to make a batch of sun tea and invite someone to come on over and sit a spell to talk about anything ... but the weather.
BOOK {Rachel Anne Ridge} is an artist, author, speaker, wife, and mother to three adult children (and two miniature donkeys) near Dallas. In her new book, "Walking with Henry: Big Lessons From A Little Donkey on Faith, Friendship, and Finding Your Path," Rachel Anne uses excerpts from The Book of Common Prayer as guideposts. Each chapter beckons readers along on this journey of finding our faith, our friends, and our calling. I found myself laughing and picking up pebbles of wisdom from Rachel Anne as I walked her humorous and grace-filled path with Henry. You can find out more about Henry and his best friend Flash on Rachel Anne's blog. [homesanctuary.com]
PODCAST
Jamie Lin's folksy voice felt familiar in a time when nothing felt easy.
{Tara Royer Steele} (of the Royer’s Round Top Cafe AND Royer’s Pie Haven dynasty) is the kind of friend everyone needs. I spent some time with her recently and found myself wanting to beg her to carve out a weekly meeting to make pie and dish. We solved no fewer than fifteen problems in the span of an hour and a half — just doing what my momma would call “jaw jacking!” Her humor, wisdom, creativity, and faith seasons everything she touches.
Her newest album, “Jumping over Rocks,” is full-bodied and showcases Jamie Lin's ability to look at the human condition through a lens all her own — which is at the same time unique and strangely sounds like the wisdom of the ages. The track, “Faithful and True,” is one part the cry of a woman’s heart to her love and one part prayer. This album is perfect front porch, whiskey sippin’ music.
As I naively interviewed her for my podcast, I found out that this gem of a woman HAS HER OWN podcast! The Brave Collective is a beautiful confab between Tara and her gal-pals, Merritt and Kristi. Their aim to be a community of sisters doing hard and brave things together to get to God’s best takes you into their living rooms, creative spaces, and hearts. If you love a visit that feels part front-porch-rockingchair-session and part vitamin-Bfriend-shot-to-the-arm, you will want to listen in. [bravecollectivepodcast.com]
Making her home in D'Hanis (that’s South Texas for you transplants) with her husband Roy, Jamie Lin raises their four kids on the road, playing shows. [jamielinwilson.com]
MUSIC Sealy native {Jamie Lin Wilson} was featured in The Texas Red Dirt Choir's “Faith in the Water," supporting Hurricane Harvey recovery here in Houston in 2017. That song served as an inspiring backdrop for videos of preservation and resurrection in the months following the storm.
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KARIANN LESSNER
KariAnn Lessner is a wife, mother, fairy godmother, children’s minister, podcast host, speaker, native Houstonian, and seeker of excellent chips and salsa. Find Kari at YouBrewYouPodcast.com.
SPRING 2019
Simplify: Why You Should Watch "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo" JORDAN HARRELL About five years ago, I heard the name “Marie
Even though I Kondo’d my home five years
Kondo” for the first time. A friend gave me her
ago (and have moved and downsized three
book to borrow, along with a rave review that
times since) there’s something about kids and
included the word “life-changing.” I mean, it
grandparents and Target that makes
was in the title, but she also reiterated it. No
accumulation impossible to avoid. And happy
pressure, Marie.
meals. And artwork. And birthday parties.
As someone who does not come by tidiness
Watching the show reminded me of that
naturally, I knew I needed to do a clean-out,
amazing feeling of a cleaned-out home, and
even before I read the book. I felt like my
I’m ready to feel that again.
house was bursting at the seams with baby gear, clothes, and, well, crap. I had filled my
So here are five reasons why you should watch
home with hand-me-downs and cheap finds
"Tidying Up with Marie Kondo," too:
from the clearance bin at Target — things I tolerated, but definitely didn’t love. At all. What followed was a home that confused me. I couldn’t figure out why my home didn’t feel like me. And I REALLY couldn’t figure out how to make my home feel like me. Enter Marie. I read her book. Simplified my life. And love my home.
You will get these people.
I may or may not have cried the first episode. Young mamas, that first family will have you wondering, “Are they pretending to be us?” You will find answers to questions you didn't even know you had.
Why am I always anxious? Why is cleaning so hard? Why can’t I ever find anything? Why don’t I feel like I have control of my home?
Well, Marie has now expanded her audience to the visual learners of the world with the launch of her new Netflix series, "Tidying Up
Don’t worry, Marie will tell you. You will feel motivated.
with Marie Kondo," and it’s kind of a big deal.
Just try and watch a few episodes and NOT
People are going a little bit nuts over it, and
empty out a drawer or two. If you’re feeling
it’s creating a wave of tidying up that might
overwhelmed by all your stuff, this is your
just be crashing into my own home. Again.
how-to guide.
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You will want to put Marie Kondo in your pocket and keep her forever as your tiny best friend.
She’s as cute as a button and you can’t NOT love her.
How our home makes us feel will affect how we treat our spouses, our children, and ourselves. If we are constantly overwhelmed by our to-do list, we wind up nagging and complaining and stressing.
You will realize how much stuff you have.
I didn’t think I had very much stuff until I pulled it all out onto the living room floor. Her
And simply put: the less stuff we have, the less mess we have. And the more space we make for all the good stuff.
methods make you realize how much crap we have in our lives, and how much better we
JORDAN HARRELL
feel when we shed all the extra weight.
Jordan Harrell lives in Sealy, Texas with her husband and three young children. She is the founder of Friday Night Wives, a thriving community for coaches' wives, and a frequent contributor at Her View from Home. You can find Jordan at JordanHarrell.com.
There’s a huge connection between our emotional health and our physical surroundings.
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Gardening: Herb Gathering
Photos by Beverly Demafiles Photography TERRI JACKSON
As the fear of frost fades and the winter blues go with them, I begin itching for my spring garden. One of the first things I start planning is where I am going to place my herbs. This year, as I thought about all things herbs, I imagined preparing for spring with my friends, and an Herb Gathering was born. I posted on social media for people to join me at my home to plant some herb seed starters. I had a great response, but, in the end, only a handful of people could be there. Don’t be discouraged if you end up with an intimate group. It gave us more time to catch up and really talk about gardening. This would be a great way to connect with neighbors (or get to know them) or to hang out with people from a group you are involved with. If you have a Turquoise Table, this would be the perfect spot to host this gathering. That was the plan for mine, but the weather did not cooperate. It was very easy to move to plan B on my porch, though! LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
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Herb seed starters
Water source Sharpened pencils
Here is what you need to host your own Herb Gathering. Ours was mid-morning, so I provided light snacks, flavored water, and mimosas. You could provide anything you like, or you could open it up for everyone to bring a dish to share.
Permanent markers Labels - I provided writable stick labels but you can use popsicle sticks or anything else you think up. Gardening gloves - I gave each guest a pair as a gift, but you could note on your invite to bring gloves.
Supplies: Variety of herb seeds - You can find these at local nurseries and home improvement stores and often at grocery stores or dollar stores. You can also order online and have them shipped to you. (We used basil, thyme, sage, oregano, parsley, and lavender.) Containers - I used a month's worth of cleaned out Kcups, as well as 6-pack seed starter greenhouses, biodegradable pots, and terra cotta pots. Starter soil LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
Steps: Fill your container with starter soil, watering thoroughly with lukewarm water. Next, press a hole in the center using your sharpened pencil, and sow two seeds per hole. Cover the hole lightly with soil. Start herb seeds indoors for four to five weeks before planting outside. Gently water using a fine, lukewarm spray. Keep seeds constantly moist during germination.
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Once your seeds sprout, make sure to give them
We had a fabulous time chatting, snacking, and
sunlight and fresh air near a window. You can
getting our hands dirty. I hope this article gets
plant the seedlings in your garden or move them
you excited about your spring herb garden. Even
into a bigger container indoors or outdoors.
people who tell me their thumbs are the polar opposite of green have had success with herbs.
Herbs are versatile and make great companion plants in a garden, as well as excellent potted plants. One of my favorite things to do is add mint to my geranium and petunia pots by my front door. They smell so good as you brush past them, and this provides a quick way to pinch
Give herbs a try, and don't be afraid of starting from seed.
some off to add to a beverage. Basil is an
TERRI JACKSON
excellent companion plant to tomatoes in your
Terri Jackson is a wife, mom of two boys, professional florist, Disney World trip enthusiast, coconut sparkling water junkie, backyard party hostess extraordinaire, and all-around craft genius in Buda, Texas. You can find her at TheInspiredHaus.com
garden. Lavender makes a wonderful bed plant or potted plant at your entrance to welcome people into your home. Having fresh herbs on hand really boosts your culinary skills to another level. Compliments are through the roof when I add a sprig of thyme, sage, or rosemary to anything. Basil is my favorite, though, to use in dishes for added flavor.
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Do you see hope? MICHELLE DISCAVAGE The bitter wind stung as it hit my face. If it weren’t for the dog at the end of the leash, I would have remained inside, under blankets. But, our dog needed a quick walk. I turned my head in an attempt to avoid the frigid gust of air blowing at me. As I turned, I noticed a pop of hot pink on an otherwise gray bush. There, at the end of our driveway, on a barren bush, bloomed a single, small flower. It would have been easy to miss the small, pink bud among the branches. In spite of the wind, the cold, and my dog pulling at the leash, I paused to take a picture. If the bud had a voice, I believe it would have whispered, “I am Hope.” Hope blooms in unlikely, but most needed, places.
Precious, holy hope steadies us when life threatens to pull the rug out from underneath our feet. Hope breathes life into our weary souls. How do we have hope? Pray. Pray for your circumstance, your situation, your struggle, yes. But also, pray God will show you hope in the midst of it. Every prayer we pray will be answered, be it in this life, or in eternity. Pause. Had I not paused, I would have missed the small bud. In slowing down, taking a deep breath, and looking around, we will notice evidence of hope all around us. Trust. Trust God is caring for you. While you may struggle to believe it, God has promised to not leave us. He hears every prayer, every cry, and every shout of frustration. Trust him to care for you. Find a support system. There are many well-meaning people in the world. However, the best intentions do not always instill hope. Surround yourself with people who will speak openly, honestly, and with hope. In fact, find people who will listen without having to speak at all. Hope often arrives simply when we show up for one another. "Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:5-8 NIV)
When we see destruction and despair, hope encourages us. When life is overwhelming, and we are not sure we can go on, hope helps us to take another step. Hope breathes life into the barren, broken places. Like the small, hot pink flower blooming in the dead of winter, hope reminds us we are alive.
When has hope intervened in your own life? In the situation you are currently facing, where do you see hope? How has God revealed hope to you?
MICHELLE DISCAVAGE Michelle Discavage is the author of "Unnamed Women of the Bible," a speaker, and a certified Life Purpose Coach. She lives in Lubbock, Texas with her husband and daughter, where they are often found laughing together. You can find Michelle at SparkedLiving.net.
Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” The dictionary defines hope as, “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” Hope believes there is more to the story than we can often see. It is hope that finds joy in the midst of any situation. “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25:5 NIV)
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CELEBRATING THE CHAOS
Photos by Elizabeth Bernhardt
HOLLIE KAZSYNKSI
A little untidiness in a friend’s home reminds me that everyone’s life is real. Sometimes, we have to invite the chaos to the party instead of fighting it. Embrace it. Make it part of the show. Laugh with it. Celebrate it. See what happens.
My oven was suddenly broken. My dear friend, Elizabeth, and her family were coming over for supper. I had not figured out how I was going to pull off a decent meal. Besides that, it was going to be a long, challenging day at work — one of those days when you have to remind yourself to breathe because you just might forget with all the motion, going from one thing to another without stopping. Oh, and my house wasn’t super tidy. This seemed like a recipe for disaster.
What happened that day was that Elizabeth ran late getting to my house. She was having a day, too. She came in, and we embraced one another, exchanged knowing looks, and laughed because this particular slice of life could not be any messier. Without a trace of judgment over my untidy house and unkempt appearance, she asked what I was making. “Pork tacos and kale salad,” I said. “It’s not fancy. They’re so easy to make, it’s embarrassing. But, I promise these tacos will make all things right.”
When I did catch my breath that day, I reminded myself that being with dear friends doesn’t require anything pretentious. In fact, the less pretentious, the better. I reminded myself how good it feels when I go into a home that doesn’t have every single thing in order.
In addition to being my dear friend, Elizabeth is also my food photographer. She took out her camera and started snapping away, capturing shots of this experience. My hands in the kale. Me throwing kale in the air. Me laughing with my oldest son, who was more than happy to serve as a taco-eating model.
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She took pictures of the cheese, my hand turning the tortillas, and the perfectly sliced avocado. She then marveled at how I could remove the pit so gracefully. We were being silly. It was simple. It was good. I didn’t have to remind myself to breathe. As her family and mine sat around my kitchen table, I looked at everyone laughing and talking. I was reminded again by a quiet voice that said, “See? A little chaos is okay. Celebrate it. It gives you something to laugh about. It’s something that connects you to others every single day. Gather and be in these moments together.
And feed them good food while you’re at it."
Slow cooker Dr. Pepper pulled pork tacos INGREDIENTS
5-7 lbs. pork butt 1 medium onion, sliced 20 oz. bottle Dr. Pepper 1 ½ cups barbeque sauce (or to taste) Salt and pepper Tortillas (Bakery fresh corn/flour tortillas are magical.) Avocado slices Cotija cheese (optional)
Trim the outer fat from the pork butt and discard. Place the pork in a slow cooker and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cover with sliced onion and pour Dr. Pepper on top. Cook on low for 8 to 10 hours. Remove pork and onion, and place in a large bowl. Shred pork using two forks. Pour barbeque sauce over pork. Mix until well incorporated. Heat large griddle over medium-high heat. Place tortillas on heated skillet, warming each side until slightly browned and puffed up. Keep in a tortilla warmer or on a plate covered with foil until you are ready to use them. Serve pork wrapped in a warm tortilla with sliced avocado, cotija cheese, and a sprinkle of kale salad.
Kale salad INGREDIENTS
2 large bunches fresh kale ⅔ cup fresh citrus juice (My favorite combination is lime and grapefruit.) 2-3 cloves pressed garlic ⅓ cup extra virgin olive oil, plus a drizzle Sea salt and pepper, to taste Remove thick stems from each kale leaf. Wash and dry using paper towels. Roll each leaf, and cut into thin “ribbons.” Place kale in a large mixing bowl. Drizzle a small amount of oil onto the kale, and sprinkle with sea salt.
WE HELP YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED IN LIFE.
This is weird, but you have to then massage the kale with your hands. Trust me. If you neglect to massage the kale, it tends to be bitter and tough. Nobody wants that. Next, put citrus juice, oil, garlic, salt, and pepper into a container to shake it up. You need about a 2:1 ratio of juice to oil. After shaking the dressing, pour it over the kale. Toss thoroughly to combine.
HOLLIE KAZSYNKSI
Hollie Kaszynski is a native Texan and has lived in Austin, with her husband and three kids, for 13 years. She posesses a deep passion for teaching and service, which she pours into her children, church family, and local community. She loves adventure, traveling, writing, and being creative in the kitchen.
7 tips for creating a hospitable home
Photo by Cheyenne Bell
There’s not much better activity in the spring than opening the doors and windows to fresh air and awakening your household from its winter slumber. Spring is not only the best time for a good “spring cleaning,” but it is also the best time to make your space more inviting to visitors and guests. With all the warm sunshine and beautiful Texas days ahead, spring lends itself to dinner parties, weekend visitors, and backyard barbeques more than any other time of the year.
CHEYENNE BELL
Spring is the best time to make your space more inviting to visitors and guests.
As fun as parties and gatherings can be, for many people, having guests in their home can be stressful. We live in an era of Pinterest perfection and most of us can never live up to that ridiculous standard!
CHEYENNE BELL Cheyenne Bell is a writer and blogger with a slight obsession for old homes and good coffee. Her blog, Sense & Serendipity, focuses on inspiring others to create a home well-loved and a life well-lived. Cheyenne lives in Buda, Texas with her two young children. Find her at SenseandSerendipityblog.com.
I have good news, though. Having a hospitable home has nothing to do with perfection and everything to do with making your guest feel welcome and honored. And, luckily, that’s not very hard to do! LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
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Here are some easy tips for making your home more welcoming and inviting: Deep clean. Yes, I know, you saw this one coming, right? Giving your home a deep clean in the spring really is the best foundation for a hospitable home. Spend a weekend doing the dusting you’ve been avoiding all winter. Wash the linens. Vacuum the curtains. Organize your pantry. Get your kids to wipe down the baseboards. I promise it’s worth it. You will feel more confident when people come to your home, and you don’t have dust bunnies crawling out from under your couch. Provide an information sheet. If you have guests staying the night in your home, they will inevitably want your WiFi password. Make connecting easier for them by providing an information sheet that includes not only your WiFi password, but also other pertinent information they may need to know, such as your address and home phone (if you have one), how to work the coffee maker, and the guest code for your alarm system. Leave your info sheet on the bedside table or the dresser of the room they’re staying in, or frame a cute printed sheet in the room.
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Keep the bathroom stocked. There’s nothing worse than being a guest in someone’s home and realizing you forgot your toothpaste or deodorant. Avoid some awkward hygiene moments by keeping your guest bath fully stocked with extra toothbrushes, travel toothpaste, travel-sized shampoos and soaps, clean towels, and plenty of accessible toilet paper. If you’re having people over for dinner or a gathering, light a subtly scented candle in the bathroom, making sure hand towels are clean and there’s plenty of hand soap. Offer a snack bar. If you have overnight guests, fill a basket or tray with small snacks and water bottles, and place it in a convenient place in their room. Guests may get hungry late at night or early in the morning, and there’s nothing more awkward than rummaging through another person’s pantry looking for a snack in the middle of the night. If you’re having people over for only a few hours, set out a few appetizers or light bites and plenty of beverages. Providing people with food and drink is always the best way to making them feel welcome and comfortable in your home!
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Crisp, clean linens.
Ambiance.
You know the feeling of slipping under crisp, clean sheets after a long day of work or travel and feeling like you’ve landed on a cloud? Treat your guests to this blissful experience by making sure you’ve got fresh sheets on the bed and clean towels in their bathroom. If you want to go the extra mile, spray some lavender linen spray on their pillowcases.
I am a huge believer that a home's ambiance has a lot to do with how a guest feels while in the home. Doing simple things like using lamp light, lighting some candles, and playing soft music in the background can make a visitor feel instantly at ease.
Custom menu. These days you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone with a food allergy or intolerance. Whether it’s dairy, gluten, food dyes, eggs, or peanuts, it is not very wise to create a menu for a dinner party or stock your pantry full of food without checking to see if any of your guests have food issues. Before your guests arrive, send a quick email or text to see if there are any allergies or intolerances that you need to be aware of so you can plan accordingly. Your guests will very much appreciate the gesture and be grateful that you have provided a meal that they, too, can enjoy and not have to worry about having a reaction.
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Ambiance is also important for setting the mood for your gathering. If you’re having a lively dinner party, play jazz music and light an herbal or citrus-y candle. If you’re having a cookout, play some country or classic rock and play up the natural, earthy scents. Hosting a book club gathering or women’s Bible study? Classical or contemporary Christian tunes paired with a floral or beach-y scent is the way to go. With a little bit of effort, you can create the mood you want your guests to enjoy! This spring, let the newness of the season inspire you to gather family and friends more often. Using these tips, your home will become the gathering place you’ve always wanted, and your guests will leave feeling welcomed and refreshed.
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Spring Cleaning with Essential Oils KAYLYNN SCHRANDT
It’s time to GREEN your CLEAN this SPRING! Many of us shudder at the thought of spring cleaning. This daunting task can be so much more fun with the use of essential oils, though! I promise. Simply adding a citrus oil (like grapefruit, lemon, lime, or orange) can make cleaning more enjoyable and lift our spirits at the same time! Learning to green your clean and take out all of the toxic chemicals in your cleaning products is not as difficult as it sounds. The hardest part is accepting that bleach isn’t the only thing that kills germs. Most cleaning products and air fresheners on our store shelves are loaded with toxins that, with constant exposure, can stress our immune systems. Many have been linked with autoimmune disease, asthma, cancer, reproductive disorders, and hormone disruption. The following are a just a few toxins that you absolutely want to try to avoid: - Parabens - Chlorine - Triclosan - Ammonia - Phthalates - Sodium hydroxide - Perchloroethylene (PERC) - Quaternary ammonium compounds (QUATS)
From food to cosmetics to cleaning products, they’ve got It covered. You can print little pocket guides, including the top “dirtiest” produce (the Dirty Dozen) and cosmetic and cleaning guides, or just download their app! You can even search specific cleaning products or cosmetics to see how they rank in safety. The easiest way to ensure that you aren’t putting your family in harm’s way is to make your own cleaning products. Just about any DIY cleaner can be made with these simple ingredients: - Baking soda - Vinegar - Castile soap - Borax - Hydrogen peroxide - Salt - Washing soda - Essential oils You can make a simple all-purpose cleaner with just 4 tablespoons of vinegar, 16 to 20 ounces of water, and 12 drops of any citrus essential oil. Essential oils have strong antiseptic, antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral properties, which makes them great at disinfecting. There are so many DIY cleaning recipes out there that it can be overwhelming at times, for sure. Head on over to the doTERRA blog for more simple cleaning recipes that make tidying up a little more fun! Happy spring cleaning!
The frustrating thing is that companies that make cleaning products aren’t required to list the ingredients on their packaging. How can we be sure we aren’t exposing our families to these harmful chemicals?
KAYLYNN SCHRANDT Kaylynn Schrandt is a clinical social worker, wife, mother of three, and essential oils aficionado in Buda, Texas. Find Kaylynn at TheAromaGirls.com.
Environmental Working Group (EWG) is my favorite resource in learning how to protect my family’s health. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
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Where One Sister Lacks... LINDSEY FINLAY Being a mom is HARD, but we all come to a point in our lives where being a daughter is just as hard, if not harder. No, I’m not talking about the teenage struggle for independence; I’m talking about when our parents get … well … old. Some of us have the privilege of seeing our parents reach old age, and some of us have to say goodbye too early; some of us watch our parents slowly deteriorate, and some lose them suddenly. Sooner or later, though, we will all inevitably have to learn to let them go. I have two babies of my own. When my second child was less than a year old, my mother, who married my stepfather and moved up to Iowa six years beforehand, came down to visit us in Texas. Something seemed off. She had trouble remembering things, couldn’t follow directions easily, and misplaced her digital camera. I shrugged it off, because she had always been a little loopy. (I either get that from her, or my kids took all of my brain cells!) Because I didn’t see or talk to her daily, it was obvious to me that she was declining each time I saw her. Something was wrong.
Hoping to start delaying the effects as quickly as possible, I confronted her. She assured me that she would see a doctor. Without a lot of obvious signs at first, it can be difficult to diagnose dementia, especially in an otherwise healthy, 57year-old woman. They misdiagnosed her and threw anxiety medication her way. I was upset that this was the accepted diagnosis, but from afar, I really couldn’t press the doctors. That was difficult, because all I wanted was to keep her mind intact for as long as possible. When she came to visit me that fall, I remember her husband calling in advance to tell me not to let her drive anywhere. The “missing link” I had noticed was becoming more apparent to those who saw and spoke with her more frequently. Lord knows how she made it from her layover to the connecting flight on that particular trip – her last solo flight! It was terrifying to leave my kids in her care on that particular visit (she had come to spend time with them after all). My sister Amanda "just happened to drop by” several times to make sure everything was okay.
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LINDSEY FINLAY
Lindsey Finlay was born in Austin and raised in Kyle, Texas. She and her husband, Neil, live in Buda with their two children. Read more at highheelstohousewife.com. Top photo (pictured, left to right): Lindsey's sister, Amanda; Lindsey's mother, Shelley; Lindsey; and Lindsey's sister, Emmalee, in 2016
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I carpooled to Houston for work one day while she was here and parked my car at a friend’s house so she wouldn’t feel that I was preventing her from driving. It's such a strange feeling to withhold a vehicle from a parent, the one who taught you to drive in the first place. By the time I flew up to see her in January 2015, I knew in my heart that this was Alzheimer’s. She got incredibly lost (like hours away). I remember sitting her down that evening, asking her question after question while I still had her. If I had only known the questions I would have in the years after. Later that year, we were given the official diagnosis. We could start prolonging her time here via medicine, but the confirmation also felt like a heavy burden.
Now, it was real.
Would her husband be able to accommodate this? Did she need to move back and live with me?
My mom was just given a death sentence.
The thing is, only God knows the beginnings, middles, and ends of our stories. We have to remember that he is always in control, and we must call on him for strength. The only thing I can do from here is pray and have faith that God has a purpose for this in my life and in my sisters’ lives.
I have two sisters through my mom. Emmalee was 21, and Amanda was 29, when we got the ill-fated news. At age 32, I realized I would probably not have my mom at 40. Even if I was lucky enough to have her that long, she wouldn’t be my mom as I had known her. I began wondering when it was my turn to get this horrible disease. I was hurt, angry, and horrified. Guilt swept over me. How could I possibly care for her? Why had she decided to move so far away?
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I am so thankful for Emmalee, who has lived in Iowa since she was 13. Outside of my mother’s husband, she is the only person readily available to care for her. She moved her family 150 miles across the state to be in the same town as our mom.
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She didn't ask for this at 25.
Where one sister lacks, another sister is ready to pick up the slack.
Without her involvement, I wouldn’t have peace about everyday things like making sure our mom has showered or, as of August, making sure the facility she calls home is taking good care of her. When I boohoo over not having my mom at 40, she has to worry about that at 30.
That’s what Emmalee does; she picks up the slack. A lot of it. Okay, basically ALL of it. I don’t envy her for the load she carries on her shoulders as a mom herself, but she has rightfully earned the reward of our mom still calling her by name. It’s a small, momentary return on her investment, but it’s one she doesn’t take for granted.
Having sisters is so much more than growing up together. Sure, you spend years fighting over who gets to wear that one pair of jeans and arguing over who pulled the shortest straw in the lineup.
If nobody else tells Emmalee this today or when she needs to hear it most, she should know that our mom would be so proud of her. I know I am.
One day, you realize that, in them, you’ve actually received the best kind of friends – who love you unconditionally, always have your back, and tell you what they really think.
Our mom, Shelley, once enjoyed all-things-horticulture, could draw or paint just about anything, and played the piano and the flute. She made the best schnitzel, stir fry, and strawberry banana milkshakes.
Now, she sits with an empty gaze and has trouble following a conversation. She puts on layers of clothing, hats, rings, and can even fit multiple earrings through one ear piercing. I’m just someone she pretends to know, but, sometimes, I get a glimpse of her for a brief moment. Am I ready to let go? Nope. No matter the age or circumstance, I never will be. But I’m thankful for sisters who can walk with me through that season when it comes. In the meantime, I’ve been soaking up as much time with her as I can from hundreds of miles away. I take every opportunity to let my kids make memories with her, knowing she won’t get to keep and recall those special times together. I keep praying that God lets my sisters and I keep our memories forever, or at least until he allows us to find a cure!
Lindsey with her mom, Shelley, in 2011 (left) and 2018 (right) LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
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A family that grows Photo by Beverly Demafiles Photography ROBIN LEE I could see a tiny speck of green out of the corner of my eye. A wisp of a blade was stretching toward the sun. “Grow, baby, grow,” I whispered. I planted that seed, against all hope, in a graveyard of grass smothered by weeds. My husband was skeptical. He was reasonably convinced the effort was wasted. “If I don’t spread any seeds there will (for sure) be nothing but weeds,” I proclaimed. I knew it was right when I said it, but I ignored its implications. He noticed the baby sprout first and pointed it out. “Your grass is growing.” Hope stirred. My chest tightened just a bit as I thought to myself, “If planting seeds can produce new life in the wasteland of my front lawn, what could happen if I began to sow seeds in the daily world around me?” Stunned by my visceral reaction, my thoughts began to whir. This last year brought death, disease, debt, and doubt. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
There are a million things we have celebrated and would not change; a thousand changes we are so glad we made; and yet there are moments when their light dims, shadowed by the dozens of places we feel powerless or stuck. The darkness of this world desires to devour my family. The dimness of some of our own mistakes sometimes helps it along, but that germinating spore shouted this reminder to me: I am completely in charge of the seeds I choose to sow. My middle child is in her first year of college. She made the dean’s list and is navigating Vermont’s snow and ice. I am remarkably impressed by that since she spent most of her days a half hour from the beach in California and her final year before university by the lakes of East Texas. I love her resilience! I want to pay attention and give voice to the things in my family I admire. If I cultivate a garden of admiration, what will it harvest? What do we respect? Who do we look up to?
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As my oldest is now an adult, and my middle is becoming an adult, I find myself longing to be a person they will admire. I want to be a family that grows, together as a unit and independently as whole, thriving people.
Today we are burying kids whose lives were full of love and promise, but who made one bad decision — to try heroin that first time — and everything spiraled from there. I preferred the days when those problems happened somewhere else.
The seasons of my life are always shifting, sometimes without my permission. I treasured the season of newborn babies. I loved the slow, deep breaths of the scent of their heads snuggled just beneath my chin. I rejoiced every time their little arms were lifted triumphantly over their heads as their little feet curled up, stretching so big. “You grew an inch with that one, didn’t you?” I would always ask.
While it sometimes feels like no family can escape, we are not void of hope. Inspired by the little green pods just outside my front door, this thought moves me forward: We can sow seeds.
My babies always seemed to be happiest in the middle of the night. God graced me with the ability not to care that it was the middle of the night. I just loved the smiles. I ache, missing those days. For me they were simpler: I am really, really good with babies. I can calm their cries; soothe their worries; snuggle them to a relaxed state of dreamy bliss.
First, and (for me) the most difficult, was choosing to relentlessly leave the outcomes to God. As a woman of Christian faith, I believe God is sovereign. However, I don’t always live as though he is. I negotiate in my mind that “if I do this, that is guaranteed to happen.” I really would love to control everything, but I am not in control of the results. I am in control of the seeds I sow. The harvest is the Lord’s. With open hands, I am learning to accept the outcomes he gives.
The older people are not so simple because a bottle of warm milk is no longer the best cure. If I tried to put them in a warm bath with a ducky towel, they would resist violently. I ask my son to climb in bed and snuggle, but he's 28 now and thinks that's weird. Do you want to know what the worst part of parenting older kids is for me? I can no longer control the influence of the outside world, and that brings me to tears. I hate so much of what is happening around me. According to the World Health Organization, by 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of death in the world. Suicide is an epidemic that crosses all bounds. “Good” families — families that spend time together, invest in teaching their kids values and compassion, and are engaged and connected — have lost kids to mental illness and depression. Self-aware parents are looking around wrestling with the truth that if it can happen to them, it can happen to us. Likewise, the opioid epidemic has touched every person I know. Gone are the days when those who overdosed were people in alleys, the ones who beat their wives and kids and lived lives riddled with bad decisions.
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This shift in perspective has helped me move from panic for my kids to joy in celebrating who they are. I have taken deliberate, considered steps in behavior and it is bearing fruit.
Second, I have purposed to diligently look for the good. My grown kids are beyond any hope that nagging will be beneficial. They have taken in more than enough words of instruction over the years, so I have decided (for this season) to ignore anything I think they should/could/ought to change and notice only the things I find unique, remarkable, and praise-worthy. This process is turning into a surprising and joyful endeavor. I am thrilled with what I am seeing. First, I started to notice the harvest of seeds we had previously planted. Paying attention to how funny they are is a crop. We planted those seeds. We have always laughed as a family. We listened to the same jokes over and over, chuckling every time. ("What do you call something that tastes like corn, but isn’t corn?" "Cornfusing.") Listening to them talk about classical works of literature or post on Facebook about their favorite poet is one, too. My kids grew up surrounded by thousands of books and enjoyed read-alouds from infancy. They are living some of the values we instilled in them when they were young, and it is beautiful to watch.
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When I see the good, I tell them. I have never believed false compliments or niceties to be beneficial, so my kids know that when I praise them, I mean it. For good or ill, I am not one to blow smoke. Compliments either say something to them, or they don’t, but it is not because they think I am insincere. The glorious result is that observation by observation I am building a foundation of appreciation for who they are. Finally, I have purposed to pray with greater intention. I am not the world’s greatest pray-er. When I do pray, I can connect with the Lord and find the words I want to say, but I often go without praying. It does not come naturally to me to pray in a crisis or bubble over to pray during celebrations. Regardless of the situation, (for me) prayer is a discipline. To help me in that discipline, I have written out prayers and posted them around my house.
I am encouraged by what the former pastor of a large, Midwestern mega-church says: We should pray until we feel peace about what we are praying about. I used to want to pray until I got what I wanted; now I am starting to realize that peace IS what I want. No matter who your kids are, their ages, or your struggles as a family, you can begin today to sow seeds for your future. You can be a family that grows. Plant the garden of gratitude, admiration, and celebration you want to be the harvest of your future. The seeds will take root. They will blossom and bloom and add color and variety in ways that will make you smile every time you notice their exquisite beauty. The exquisitely beautiful things are actually the family members you already cherished.
ROBIN LEE
Robin Lee is a recent Texas transplant, wife to an airplanepart-inventing, manufacturedhome-selling man who keeps her in stitches, and mom to three beautifully unique kids who keep her on her knees. She lives near Tyler, Texas and loves to teach Bible Study, laugh, drink coffee with ridiculous amounts of flavored creamer, and nap. Find Robin at Robins-Corner.com.
I wrote prayers on 3x5 cards, put them in my car, and taped them above the sink. I began typing out prayers in a journal on my computer. I chose specific Scriptures to read, like prayers, for my family. Each day I plow forward, becoming more dedicated to prayer and more peaceful in the midst.
Located at The Little House on Main Nelda Montemayor & Liz Keitz 512.295.7818
569 Main Street, Buda, Texas LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
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Facebook & Instagram @BudasRedDoor
Women traveling alone daunting but doable ANDREA STUNZ
When I mention to people that I traveled from Singapore to Australia alone for my birthday one year, they often gasp with wonder and amazement. Then, the look of “Could I ever do that? Would I ever WANT to do that??” washes over their face. And my answer is always, “YES! Yes, you could! And you should!” It’s a sad truth in the world we live in that, as women, we need to be on guard. We should always be careful, but we do ourselves a huge disservice when we abandon the possibility of adventure because of fear. As I write this article, I have made my way from Texas to Hong Kong — alone. I’ve planned, I’ve packed, and I am really enjoying my adventure. The following travel tips are ones I practice and think you’ll find helpful.
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• Know how to look for hotel room cameras. Turn out
Arrive in the daytime.
the lights and look for small lights around the room
Plan flights to arrive in daylight. Trying to navigate a
and inside vents. Hang a towel over anything you think
new city in the dark is challenging and often unsafe. If
might be a camera. Take a small screwdriver with you
you can’t arrange a daylight arrival, arrange for a hotel shuttle or a private chauffeur service to meet you when you arrive. Likewise, if you will be out and about at
so you can look inside any vents that seem questionable. Purchase a hidden camera detector to scan the room. If cameras are located, contact hotel
night, know your route and the safest mode of transportation to get you back to where you’re staying.
personnel, and have them removed. • Know when NOT to look for hidden surveillance
Pack light.
cameras. Certain countries, like China and Russia, will
What you take you'll have to haul! Don’t take more than you can handle alone. Take only what you need. Limit
brand a traveler as hostile if camera detectors are found among their belongings. They may also not appreciate the covering or dismantling of cameras. When traveling
your “just in cases” to only a few — or none. All those “just in cases” add up. If you really need something, you can buy it or find a substitute.
to specific locations, just know you’re going to be watched, and simply behave while enjoying your stay. • Always carry your passport and important
Have a safety plan.
documents on your person when traveling. Keep a copy
Of course, there are serendipitous moments on any trip worthy of appreciation, but not having a general plan is a dangerous way to travel. It can set you up for being in all manner of situations you could have avoided.
of your passport safely tucked away separately. In the event your passport is stolen, a copy will make the replacement process more manageable. Keep cash and credit cards in separate places. In the unfortunate event that everything gets stolen, if you have your
Research safety issues for the area(s) where you are
passport and a credit card, you will be okay!
traveling.
• Never offer strangers more information than is
A few things you can do to stay safe are:
absolutely necessary. It’s fun to chat with other travelers or locals, but divulging too many details about yourself
• Plan your daily adventures. Make reservations. Book
or your excursions could land you in discomfort. Be
tours. Being in a new place alone might leave you
friendly but not overly so.
feeling paralyzed with options. You’ll end up missing out on something awesome or, worse, wandering to
Traveling alone might seem daunting, but it’s most
places you should have avoided.
definitely doable. I encourage you to muster the moxie and go! There are so many amazing things to see, foods
• Never let anyone take your phone to take a picture
to eat. Adventures await.
of you. Unless you know you can run faster, it’s not worth it.
ANDREA STUNZ
• Remember that you’re a guest in their “home.” It’s easy to become too comfortable with the ways of our own culture and forget that things are done differently in other places. •
Stay away from “ducks.” As the old saying goes, “If it
quacks like a duck, it must be a duck.” Another old saying, “listen to your gut,” can be a valuable tool when traveling alone. Always be aware of your surroundings and belongings. LOVE OF DIXIE MAGAZINE
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Andrea Stunz is a welltraveled Texan currently living near San Antonio, having previously lived in Brazil, Asia, and the U.K. She finds joy in her family, grace in her friends, beauty in a story, purpose in the sunrise, wonder in her travels, and hope in Colossians 1:17. Find Andrea at AndreaStunz.com.
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