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Where One Sister Lacks... LINDSEY FINLAY Being a mom is HARD, but we all come to a point in our lives where being a daughter is just as hard, if not harder. No, I’m not talking about the teenage struggle for independence; I’m talking about when our parents get … well … old. Some of us have the privilege of seeing our parents reach old age, and some of us have to say goodbye too early; some of us watch our parents slowly deteriorate, and some lose them suddenly. Sooner or later, though, we will all inevitably have to learn to let them go. I have two babies of my own. When my second child was less than a year old, my mother, who married my stepfather and moved up to Iowa six years beforehand, came down to visit us in Texas. Something seemed off. She had trouble remembering things, couldn’t follow directions easily, and misplaced her digital camera. I shrugged it off, because she had always been a little loopy. (I either get that from her, or my kids took all of my brain cells!) Because I didn’t see or talk to her daily, it was obvious to me that she was declining each time I saw her. Something was wrong.
Hoping to start delaying the effects as quickly as possible, I confronted her. She assured me that she would see a doctor. Without a lot of obvious signs at first, it can be difficult to diagnose dementia, especially in an otherwise healthy, 57year-old woman. They misdiagnosed her and threw anxiety medication her way. I was upset that this was the accepted diagnosis, but from afar, I really couldn’t press the doctors. That was difficult, because all I wanted was to keep her mind intact for as long as possible. When she came to visit me that fall, I remember her husband calling in advance to tell me not to let her drive anywhere. The “missing link” I had noticed was becoming more apparent to those who saw and spoke with her more frequently. Lord knows how she made it from her layover to the connecting flight on that particular trip – her last solo flight! It was terrifying to leave my kids in her care on that particular visit (she had come to spend time with them after all). My sister Amanda "just happened to drop by” several times to make sure everything was okay.
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LINDSEY FINLAY
Lindsey Finlay was born in Austin and raised in Kyle, Texas. She and her husband, Neil, live in Buda with their two children. Read more at highheelstohousewife.com. Top photo (pictured, left to right): Lindsey's sister, Amanda; Lindsey's mother, Shelley; Lindsey; and Lindsey's sister, Emmalee, in 2016
SPRING 2019
