Mahmoud Khattab
The Dog Sat Where We
Parted
In my last days in uniform, Antar would accompany me wherever I go. He would sleep next to me in my guard shifts and wake me up when I fall asleep. He was a scary one year old to many, a deep loving dog to few of us.
I have been marooned. I have been taught to obey. To follow orders. I have been ridiculed Made fun of Beaten
Thrown in jail
I caught a gecko
I raised three dogs
I heard a snake but never saw it I cried
A lot
I grew plants. I watered them every day Sometimes every other day.
I don’t have a name tag. I am a soldier.
Dressed as a soldier.
Referred to as a soldier.
I shaved my head like everyone else. We wore camouflaged skin that appealed to sand.
You get us the ration this time. Tell them you’re a doctor.
There we sat. We listened to radio waves and cosmic noise. Waleed knows how to work the radio in remote places
There we sat in the scorching heat
It grew to the confines of my gun. It fell off its nest and stayed with me for two days. I heard it sing and fly away when I was asleep.
He told me my hands were the kindest he had felt in years.
I told him I only saw those eyes once. He told me he sees them everyday.
I had to do it.
A jerboa came to me soon after sunset. I could barely see. I knew what it was.
I would always see it from a distance but never so close. You would know a jumping jerboa if you gaze long enough into the desert.
It let me pet it.
Abdul Nasser said he wanted to travel after he’s done with the service. Hiro said he will start a business in Libya with his uncle.
I will take a break after all of this is over. Saeed told me he will take the boat to Italy.
This blessed land
This mountain on which you stand guard that was ours before you collect sand
While I collect stones
To say I have been here when my uncles ask
Antar: An Arab knight whose solemn sword shines as much as his poetry. Whose horse reaches for both the weak and his lover.
What remained was a signed photograph and a long grass that hasn’t been cut.
One photograph of peers and a print of a tree that was once half a meter tall.
We promised each other we would keep in touch after our service is over, like egrets on the banks of a Nile.
We were reminded of how our homes smelled. How we found friends in strangers.
Army service is obligatory for all eligible men in Egypt. I could not travel or work unless I do my time.
Apart from endless guarding hours, miles of walks everyday, caring for the ill and tending for the wounded as a doctor, I spent my year of service on a trail around the country. I spent most of it in solitude with a hidden phone. Suddenly, my aspirations, dreams, feardoms, even my haircut looked just like everyone else’s. It was one of the greatest challenges in my life; to be stripped away of my individuality, to submit and to find comfort in a stranger’s company who looked and dressed just like me.
The Dog Sat Where We Parted
Author: Mahmoud Khattab
Printed on Cotton paper 120g, at IFAO Printing House, Cairo
© Mahmoud Khattab, 2023 /5