Life Coach With Trust August 2017
Fear Abuse
Human Trafficking And More
Content Page
Opening Letter
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Glowing report
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National Freedom Network
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Article on Fear
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Witchcraft Assembly and Initiation in Nigeria
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JMV Trust Introduction
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Children Are Suffering Even if You find it Tolerable
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Optimystic Bikers against Abuse Our Journey
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A Poem—For You
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Life Coach With Trust
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CEO/DIRECTOR Tilanie Meierhans lifecoachwitht@gmail.com
WEBSITE www.lifecoachingwitht.com SOCIAL MEDIA
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MISSION STATEMENT: The eradication of fear thereby enabling all human beings to believe in their selfworth without harbouring anger or resentment. In achieving such, destroying abusive behavioural tendencies throughout the world. Life Coach With Trust
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Few people do not have fear, and more often than not this fear for some unbeknown reason to an individual will even rear it’s ugly head out of the blue mushroom into something truly unsurmountable in that persons life. Of course it is not as bad as it may well seem. There is always some way or form to overcome.. Interestingly enough many hide it until it can no longer be hidden and it explodes as I said into a massive mushroom. This fear holds people back from truly being their authentic selves. Fear is manageable, but you do need to be able to face your demons as they say to overcome the enormous impact it may well have on you.
Dear readers,
I pondered whether to do the usual monthly newsletter that fills up everyone’s inboxes and so often are not even reads them. It was with this in mind that II decided to do something different. Something which will be there for time to come with access to information for all. Even if you do not live with any of these realities then there will still be information available to you that you may well learn a thing or two from enabling you to perhaps be of assistance to someone in need in the future.
Anger is a fear in a different format. So too if you like is self-worth. At the end of the day many issues as I said previously surround an individuals fear.
Organisations have strife within because their workforce sit with deep seated fears and often project anger or irritation instead of learning how to correctly respond to issues they feel need addressing.
Life Coach With T—or Trust as the NPC is registered as, was officially put on the map in July this year.
For now it is baby steps for Life Coach with Trust but hopefully with time it will grow into that which is my passion to empower and to heal one human at a time.
The aim of this company is to reach as many people across the board as possible. Not only on a one on one session, but becoming a voice and an organisation that empowers and enables folk who suffer from fear, anger management, self-worth and abuse.
Life Coach With Trust
~Life Coach With T~
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Ivette Gouws wrote: While I was down on
South Coast on holiday, I met up with a couple of
friends for a coffee (or 2!) Chatting with them was soooo fascinating, I much! I have to tell you a little about them, they could very well family or a friend...
amazing
learned so
help you, someone in your
You see, they help people who have suffered abuse - such a nasty thing! Abuse can come in so many different forms, bullying, verbal, financial, as well as the all known sexual... It is not age / gender / race / status aligned, it can happen anywhere‌ If you are in a situation that you are not comfortable with, fear telling anyone close about, or know someone in such a circumstance - these are the
ladies to chat with!
They honestly just have it all together & know what to do! They can supply the right support structure for the victim to become a survivor! Julie Muir Vivier Foundation: https://juliemuirvivier.wixsite.com Tilanie Meierhans – Life Coaching With Trust: http://lifecoachingwitht.com
Life Coach With Trust
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Life Coach With Trust
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https://youtu.be/bRGLfXoEZoQ
It is the first resources website on human trafficking specific to South Africa launched in January 2015. We upload links to current and older press releases, video clips, recommended books to read and movies to watch. We also upload academic research and reports with a focus on South Africa. There are also some learning links.
We have included a tab for the Unthinkable short film which was made in 2016. This 34 minute short film by Media Navigation and the National Freedom Network aims to educate the public on ‘Lover Boy Recruitment', a tactic by human traffickers to lure and trap victims. Many victims are then sold into the sex trade. The short film is based on Chapter 32 of Kris Hollington’s book “Unthinkable”. It has been adapted for the South African context.
Website for South African Counter Human Trafficking Resources http://www.nfnresources.yolasite.com
Life Coach With Trust
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of course, fears are passed down through generations, but they need not be carried forward through you to the next generation.
Fear
If as an adult fear can literally cause you to freeze in thought, emotion and physical action, how much more so would a child fear?
When meeting me you would never guess that I have worn the badges or helmets of fear, anger, self-worthlessness, and abuse.
Children do not know the correct terminologies that adults are supposedly to know, and adults are often clueless as to how to express what they are feeling.
The reason is two-fold.
First and foremost, I have overcome! And everyone can, it is a choice you make, one Can you imagine a child’s fear when conof either remaining a victim or becoming the fronted with any form of abuse, whether victor. physical, verbal or emotional? A child who Secondly, like most people, in the beginning has no words to describe the pain or the I felt ashamed to let others know what had wrong that has been done to it. happened to me. It is fair to say most peoAnd adults will either laugh it off, or make ple wouldn’t dream of letting you know that some excuse – worse still are the adults who they are going through any of the above. suspect or know something is off key. They And the greatest most demoralising part is who have a voice to tell someone and they FEAR. don’t - no matter whether you are afraid of the repercussion’s when it comes to child Fear hampers your everyday life. Fear can abuse you have no excuse – you must report even cost you or your loved one’s life. You may well be thinking that this is a crazy state- it immediately. ment to make. Unfortunately, it is not. It is a fact that those who are living in physically abusive environments could well pay with their life. Those who are experiencing bullying could end up taking their life. The children who are being abused could lose their life and so round and round the merry-goround it goes.
Facing your fears will be a liberation not only for yourself, but for those who may well need your intervention. There are few in this world who do not have fears, they may not admit to them, but they have them alright. The important factor here is how to live a life that enables you NOT to let fear rule your life. ~Life Coach With T~
How many of you would think that fear has such a major impact on lives? Only those who have suffered it in varying degrees one would presume. Yet that too is incorrect – many people do not even realise that they are living in fear – the mere fact that they do not speak up and out is a fear of what society may or may not think of them. Where however, does that fear originate? In the past of course. Yet one must dig a little to find the exact entry point of that fear. And Life Coach With Trust
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August 2017
IMBOLA OJESANMI - DAVIS
girls are brought into witchcraft without their consent. They mysteriously appear in the assembly after a witch has successfully administered a substance into their stomach or blood through the intake of food, drink or a scratch or wound on their body to apply the substance by rubbing it onto the scratch or wound.
CEO of The Rock Consultant Journalist, Radio Presenter, Writer, Film Producer and Researcher
As the girl appears in the assembly, formal initiation is immediately performed so the girl becomes a witch and gets involved in the craft of bewitchment. There are those who willingly join to obtain power for evil purposes. During initiation, the neophyte is gives an oath of secrecy never to reveal anything to non-members.
WITCHCRAFT ASSEMBLY AND INITIATION IN NIGERIA
In each coven, there are ancient and occult material which includes Earth pots, Calabash pots, cups, bows, arrows, palm fonts, knives, Tarots, mini canoes, stones, bags made of raffia palm leaf fibre, wands, cauldrons, amulets, and many others. All these materials are used in the process of bewitchment.
This is the start of a serious of articles in our newsletter relating to what is happening in Nigeria surrounding human trafficking. In Nigeria, witches are said to possess super human powers that they use to perpetrate evil. A witch could harm anybody including her family members.
The process of initiation is that a neophyte is made to stand in a circle marked on the Many women become witches without ground before the president’s seat. The initiknowing it. It could be in the process of ator or president steps forward, picks an initiseeking protection or favour and only after the initiation, will they get to know the devil- ation stone, holds it upward and conjures evil spirits upon it. Then with the stone, she ish power behind it and it will be too late to touches the initiates throat, left hip, right back out. breast, left breast, right hip and throat again. Witchcraft consists of a localised assembly The touching pattern forms the invoking PENknown as "coven" which constitutes the most TAGRAM OF FIRE elemental organisation. A coven may consist of fifty members but cannot be less than five. During the exercise of touching and invocation, the high priest gives out a new name to 12 -15 is the average member numbers. the initiate and says from this moment, your Each coven is under the leadership of a chair person commonly referred to as presi- heart shall be as strong as this stone, she then moves a step backwards, gives the sign dent. There's a vice president and other leaders and many covens are united under of the pentagon of fire, picks an egg, step forward again and touches the initiates forefraternal bonds. head, chest, right toes, left toes, then strikes Each leader has ‘’errand’’ girls. The errand Life Coach With Trust
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the egg on the ground and says, "every evil plan against you shall be scattered ".
embodiment of evil.
Moving clockwise produces negative results, there are three stages or degrees of initiation. The first initiation is to accept the new witch into the coven, while the oath of secrecy is the last administration of the new witch, every member then embraces the new witch.
sorted the women are often made to go to a shrine and make a pact with the juju priest. This is to pledge their allegiance to the traffickers to remain under their control until they have paid back their ‘’debts’’. Most of them are too blinded by the fact of money to realise the form of payback which is required of them. They will take the oath without a second thought and it provides the total control over them the victims as they will be far too scared to break it due to the impact on themselves or their families, meaning endangering themselves and/or their respective families.
The easiest and most trusted way in which to entrap or ‘’seduce’’ unknowing victims is She brings water from an earthen pot, and when uncles or cousins promise the child’s says "only the person that doesn't drink water, bath or wash with water or does not eat parents that they are taking them to place X to work in, for instance a restaurant, or any food prepared with water can harm you". legal form of work for them to save money Then she takes sand collected from the river, for an education and to also then be able holds it in her left palm upwards, above her to send some money back home to the left breast while pointing her right forefinger family. What truly does take place is that up saying, "before a person can prove you these children or young women are forced are a witch, such person must first count the into prostitution or other slave work situations. number of sounds by the river " she then There are those women who will approach a throws the sand in four directions, front, recruiter as they want to leave Nigeria and back, left and right. She then takes the CAN- work overseas in perhaps dance clubs. TRIP, moves a step forward and begins inThese respective women are unaware of the dangerous and the nature of the work of cantations, both in song and words, every member bows, she touches the forehead of prostitution or the various situations they will find themselves in such as being treated like the initiate with the CANTRIP. prisoners, or so severely beaten and even She then takes her ATHAME from the Alter killed. and holds it in her right hand over her left Unfortunately, however, the most frequent breast and moves in a circle counter clockplace from which they will be trafficked is wise in direction. A magistrate (male leader) right out of their own homes. Once the restands behind the initiate stretching his cruitment stage is complete and the money hands on the shoulder of the initiate. for the person is paid, travel documentation
The leader of the assembly has the final say in determining the nature of punishment if any victim is found guilty, the victims will be transformed into a goat or any other animal and killed, the witch does not eat the ‘’person’’ but meat, it will be either goat or cow or animals of their choice, once the animal is killed, the victim automatically dies at home, it's very wrong to say or think that a witch eats people. This is the reason witches are viewed as the Life Coach With Trust
These victims are taken out the country by air or land. If the traffickers should opt to take them over land it could well mean them going via the Sahara Desert which happens to be the most dangerous of routes. Many people have died trying to cross the desert to their destinations. This
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due to attacks by bandits whilst others may get lost. One could find between 25 – 30 victims squashed into an old Land Rover pick up, or they are expected to walk under the hot desert sun. There are those agents who may hire camels to carry the luggage but this will be a ‘’cost’’ added to the victim’s ‘’debt’’.
excuse not to be on ‘’duty’’ day or night. And there are those who experience repeated sexual, physical, and mental abuse/ violence also being exposed to drugs and often being forced to consume them themselves so that they remain active in the field.
The ‘’newbies’’ who are not co-operative will experience regular punishment such as Some of these women and/or girls who are being beaten, kicked, burnt with cigarettes, still virgins, will be drugged and raped to pre- and may even pay with their lives to teach pare them for their new ‘’positions’’. Others the others that if they do not co-operate the will be forced into the circle of prostitution, price will be their own death. serving the men on the journey. There are In the unforeseen circumstance of a victim those traffickers who along the route will sell falling pregnant, an abortion may be peroff any of the girls, and these victims may be formed but not within the realms of a hospibought and sold repeatedly through the tal for obvious reasons of detection. Or the years as sex slaves. victim will be encouraged to continue the Once these trafficked victims reach their pregnancy and once the child is born it will end destination, they will gradually become be sold by the trafficker on the black market. aware of the fact that they are no longer Be not fooled though, should the victim be free to move about as they wish as their trav- strong enough, she will be expected to conel documentation will have been taken tinue rendering her ‘’services’’ whilst being away from them. For those who were not pregnant. raped or who still have their virginity intact, Apart from the initial abuse rendered upon they will learn their fate and the ‘’true’’ esthe new comers, they are kept in control by sence of what their ‘’job’’ entails. And of fear. The deception of being told nude phocourse, their ‘’debt’’ will have increased, tographs will be sent home for their families there will be those who will be unaware of to see what they have become or the threat what they will need to pay their ’’new’’ masof being arrested and the harm this will bring ter/s. to their families. They are further kept in conThese victims may have to work long, long trol as they do not speak the local lingo of hours, with little to no mercy shown them the country they are generally ‘’living’’ in. and for even less pay than they would have The physical and mental abuse suffered by expected to earn, or their so-called pay will these enslaved sex workers is grave and ofbe deducted against their owing ‘’debt’’. ten fatal. Those who survive their trafficking Should they have landed in Europe, the most experience are left with varying degrees of common place for prostitution will be the trauma. There is no easy road back into sostreets, private homes, brothels, hotels, or ciety from being a commercial sex worker club houses. These are the areas in which due to the often abusive nature of their trafficked sex victims/slaves are expected to ‘’jobs’’. They are left with head trauma, broearn their living. It would be extremely diffi- ken bones and some even infectious diseascult for them to escape as they are cones, nerve and muscle damage, chronic fastantly watched and monitored. tigue, drug abuse (be this hard drugs or pain killers) all resulting in varying stages of physiThose in the ‘’industry’’ do not have time off. cal and mental health issues. Even during their menstrual cycle they need to continue their trade, for them there is no Life Coach With Trust
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with roles varying from the development of governance, development, fundraising strategies and departmental formation (Oxfam South Africa) to securing organisational income in all possible funding streams and sustainability. In addition, she has lead a NPO as both a Centre and Fundraising Manager. Prior to entering the NGO sector, Julie undertook the role of Communications Manager for the African Institute of Corporate Citizenship, following nine years at Liberty Life and six years at SABMiller as Group Social Officer, implementing global corporate citizenship in the company's operating divisions. This role on behalf of SABMiller encompassed global corporate citizenship, corporate social investment and responsibility, and triple bottom line accounting. In addition, Julie was a member of the JSE Control Group for the development of the Social Responsibility Index, co-authored Sustainability Reporting – Highlighting South African Examples (ISBN 0-62033964-0(2005), represented SABMiller at the Julie is currently the Director of NPO Strategic World Summit for Sustainable Development Consulting (PTY) Ltd - a consultancy which and provided technical development supundertakes various strategic advisory and port for UNISA's Centre For Corporate Citizenturn-around services to local and internationship. She has worked in several communities al NPOs. Clients have included Oxfam Ausacross South Africa and tralia and America (and several of their programme partners in programmatic themes of countries around the world. the arts, health, LGBTI, ECD, HIV and AIDS, Under the work of the Trust, she has published OVCs and child protection, advocacy and her first novel in the US during November income development), Xhobani, Joburg 2014 themed around 20 years of gender vioChild Welfare, Heart to Heart, Careerlinx, lence and abuse (Hidden Beneath It All ISBNMzansi Arts Development Ensemble, among 10: 1482804328 ISBN-13: 978- 1482804324), others. which has been optioned for film rights and is In addition, Julie is CEO of the Julie Muir Vivi- currently in development. er Anti-Abuse and Empowerment Trust, a survivor-led human rights advocacy organisation supported by Bowman Gilfillian and operating at a national and international level. She has held several roles within the NPO (regional, national and international) sector mainly as head of fundraising and marketing, Life Coach With Trust
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skin and bone.
No abusive tendencies should be tolerated. Nor are you to believe (even if well meant) those who try and impart you with the information that it could be due to the way you react or say things. There is absolutely NO room nor should there be for abuse. You are a human being with the right to being heard and understood, no matter your age, your belief or your sexual preferences. Should you have a child or children and you are in any form of an abusive relationship, you may well find this article written by Roland Bal very interesting . https:// rolandbal.com/childhood-trauma-triumphsover-all-of-them/ Trauma as we know can affect us as adults Anger is an emotion which can cause deadversely. We also know that trauma can struction much like any natural disaster. Yet affect children. However did you know that if channelled correctly it can be used as a trauma can well affect the developing nervfuel to drive you forward, but it does need to ous system of a young child. If you have not be channelled in the right direction. read the above link, I would suggest you do. It may sound completely back to front but let me use an example to explain it. You may be extremely fearful with regards to let us say starting your own business. Yet your anger toward the company you are currently employed with is so great that you use your anger to overcome your fear of starting your own business. This is a positive implementation of anger.
Yes your fear is holding you back from taking that leap of ‘’faith’’. Oh and it is a leap of faith in more ways than one. Yet the fact that you are not doing it for yourself alone, you are doing it for your children should fuel you enough to make the change. A change that may seem hard, unreal, lonely and darn right unfair. Yet a change that will enable you to secure your future and that of your children. So they do not need to suffer However, we see it so often that there are people who remain in relationships with part- further. Should you be in a relationship without any children, please do not fall into the ners who have serious anger management issues, so much so that they are abusive. As trap of believing that that precious soul will you well know or should know by now, abuse be the one to save and heal the abusive is not only that of physical abuse. It can be tendencies of your partner. No you too verbal or emotional abuse. And as much as need to take that leap of faith. the physical abuse is abhorrent and painful, Yes of course you are afraid – that terrible the pain will go away. The pain of verbal thing called fear. That too can be worked and emotional abuse on the other hand will through though. It may be difficult, no acturemain and will go much deeper than just ally I am pretty positive that it will not be a Life Coach With Trust
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walk in the park, but you can do this, you are strong no matter what you may feel or think. Even if you don’t think so, I can guarantee you. What you should be fearing is what it is actually doing to you and your children. They did not opt to be a part of the abuse you are ‘’opting’’ for. They need safety and stability away from the abusive tendencies of your partner to grow and flourish and so do you. Say NO to abusive behaviour whether in anger or not, it can no longer be accepted. The tide of abuse needs to stop and you are a part of that tide. ~Life Coach With T~
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Thank you to all of you for your encouragement, your support, the dinner invitations, the kind words and the prayer. Thank you to our team - members of the club and volunteers - all those tireless individuals and groups who are incredibly authentically striving for change! Thank you to our team - who keep us going. Thank you to everyone who whatsapp's "Don't Give Up!" it really warms our hearts and keeps us focused on the goal. Thank you to the store owners who let us do outreach, the people who offer us venues, Optimystic Bikers against Abuse: the people who donate (gosh, too many to Our Journey mention). Every cent makes a huge differAs those of you who have been following our ence. journey know, Neil (National President) and I Thank you to every service provider - from (Celeste Emmanuel Louw), left our jobs at the end of April and took that huge leap of SAPS to social workers, from Magistrates to medical staff, NGOs and NPCs - who have faith that becoming a "charity hobo" is. assisted us and shown us that amidst all the We would like to share some of what that corruption and lack of service delivery there has meant for us. are those who do still really care. Firstly, I guess, the question we get asked the Most of all - thank you to our Survivors. Yes, most is what about the money? How do you thank you - for giving us the privilege of sharsurvive? ing your journey! It is a great blessing. SomeWell, mostly we are learning more and more times it feels like a losing battle, sometimes it every day to trust and have faith that we will is a frustration to not be able to just "fix" be provided for. And we have. We haven't things, to not have all the answers or regone hungry or been without a roof... It isn't sources. the high life on a comfort scale but it is a reSometimes the answers aren't what anyone warding life and every day is a new advenexpected. Sometimes we fail - the hardest ture. part - and mostly, though, we win enormous, We have met the most incredible people life altering victories. we have seen how caring - yes, just truly carThe process of watching someone who truly ing about another person's life, their pain, wants to heal do just that is indescribable. It their joy - can completely turn their life is mind blowing... and it is always an enoraround. We have seen people go from zero mously enriching process. to "I've got this". It is a transformation that Every day we see how you CAN change the leaves us in awe - over and over again. world - one person at a time. That said, this journey is only at its beginning and we are looking forward to continuing it. Contact Details: 071 427 0187 Life Coach With Trust
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For you‌.. And a number of others that the poem or segments thereof may apply to And he loves you so much that you can't have many friends and the lies you tell yourself just never seem to end and you understand his anger yet you're the one to make amends and making you feel small on that his attitude depends and he wants to know your every move in the messages he sends and you're allowed to have your interests when he condescends but you tell yourself you're happy now it's become so easy to pretend but why is it you're always wrong what is this reasoning you defend and when the shadows frighten you as at the your sanity they rend
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there to face the moments when into terror you descend when the medication numbs you out and your feelings they suspend to sleep in never never land with the memories that attend now with these words I take the risk that your being I might offend but I am not one for luke warm honesty and if with your anger I must contend then I will bend to be that instrument if it would aid you to transcend ‌‌ to the truly worthy, precious person you are and whom I have seen overcome great challenges and frightening moments. Believe in yourself again.
~Gary Watkins~ Hypnotherapist,, Hillcrest Durban South Africa
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