The Thankful Issue
HEALTH + WELLNESS
HOW TO CULTIVATE GRATITUDE
LIFE + CULTURE KINDNESS ROCKS IN LEESBURG
HOME + DESIGN
THE WARMTH OF A FIRE
Sleep Disorders Are a Major Problem and We can Help!
In order to be your best, you have to sleep your best. Whether it is consultation regarding lifestyle changes or testing for vitamin D-3 deficiency, we are here for you. We can also assess your need for a CPAP, or another device to help you sleep and fight sleep apnea. A much better approach to treating apnea is the Panthera device. It is made by a dentist and brings your chin forward (just like in doing CPR) to open the airway. It is very effective and easy to wear. For most people it does the job as well as a CPAP and in some cases even better. There are many other ways to deal with apnea- most of these are surgical-but the above ideas are simple and generally quite easy to implement for most people.
Book An Appointment With Dr. Brown Today And Live Your Best Life!
Dr. Jeffrey L. Brown DENTIST
Dr. Brown understands sleep apnea and how it correlates to TMJ treatment. His knowledge in the combined fields of TMJ, sleep and orthodontics has given him a perspective unlike most other practitioners who perform basic dentistry. In addition, he has also learned the advanced techniques involved in expanding an airway so that both children and adults can breathe better.
A Season of Thanks
In this season of giving thanks, we often find ourselves reflecting on the many blessings in our lives. The true spirit of Thanksgiving encourages the conscious expression of gratitude. Its focus is spending time with those you love and encourages giving back in a meaningful way. While ambition, competition and hitting goals can be very healthy, forgetting to place importance on being present, enjoying the ride and appreciating those around us who have helped us along in our journey, can leave us missing out on what truly matters. We’ll never be content if we look outside ourselves and at our possessions or titles to determine if we are fulfilled. True contentment comes from within and from fulfilling who we were made to be.
Our November issue is dedicated to stories of gathering, gratefulness and giving back to our community. We are so thankful for the residents and businesses in our community who support so many wonderful organizations and help make our area the vibrant community that it is. We are especially thankful for our advertising partners who help bring this magazine to your doorsteps each month. They are part of our vision and purpose of bringing inspiring stories and the good news of the community directly to you. This holiday season as we prepare to gather with our loved ones, and in the true spirit of thanksgiving, let’s set time aside to consider what truly makes life meaningful and stop to reflect on those blessings.
LIVINGSTON, PUBLISHER
November 2024
PUBLISHER
Hann Livingston | hann.livingston@citylifestyle.com
EDITORIAL COORDINATOR
Glenye Oakford | glenye.oakford@citylifestyle.com
Corporate Team
CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Steven Schowengerdt
CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER Matthew Perry
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF HR Janeane Thompson
AD DESIGNER Rachel Otto
LAYOUT DESIGNER Kirstan Lanier
Dr. Moose & Dr. Patel, Board Certified Oral & Maxillofacial, Cosmetic & Reconstructive Surgeons
Dr. Arora, Board Certified Plastic, Reconstructive & Cosmetic Surgeon
Gaynor Kelly, Master Aesthetician
Winter Warm Spell
“We
want the whole space to flow, so there’s good circulation, and so that everything is oriented in the right way and works together," said Ed Ball.
A fire feature warms up your outdoor space and expands your entertaining options.
ARTICLE BY GLENYE OAKFORD PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF ED BALL DESIGNS
Remember to check any permits you might need before installing your fire feature.
As crisp autumn air settles over Virginia, homeowners are increasingly turning to a timeless solution for extending their outdoor living season: the cheerful warmth of a fire. From cozy fire pits to elegant outdoor fireplaces, these additions are rapidly becoming the heart of backyard gatherings.
Fire features are one of the most popular additions to landscape design projects in the Northern Virginia area due to their versatility and ability to transform a space, according to Ed Ball Designs near Leesburg, whose services include fire pits and fireplaces, landscape architecture, pools, and more. It’s easy to understand fire features’ allure: a custom-built fire pit or fireplace quickly becomes an outdoor space’s focal point, adding warmth, light, and a cozy ambiance—and extending outdoor living and entertainment experiences well into the chillier seasons.
“They bring warmth, and they bring a sense of community with your family and friends,” Ed Ball Designs owner Ed Ball explained. But they’re also a peaceful place to enjoy a little solitude and reflection with, say, the first cup of coffee by the fireside on a frosty morning or a mug of hot cocoa in the evening.
“There’s really no limit on how or when you can use it,” Ball said. “For those who are more adventurous, you could even cook with an outdoor fire pit.”
There are many variations of types and materials you can choose from when constructing a fire
This page, top: A large fireplace-style feature adds a note of elegance.
Bottom: A fire feature can help you create an outdoor "room" for comfortable multi-season use.
Next page: A cheerful fire feature creates a natural gathering place for friends and family.
feature, including natural wood-burning fire pits, gas-fired fires, chimineas, and fireplaces built into a pergola or outdoor “room” that can extend a home and reflect the homeowner’s style.
“I really enjoy spaces that include an outdoor dining area, an outdoor kitchen; a place that you can sit and relax separate from, say, an outdoor table; and that then have some kind of water feature or fire feature,” Ball said. “So you’re bringing about uses throughout all of the seasons. Maybe you have a fire pit for fall, winter, and early spring, and you have a water feature that gives you that tranquil sound in the warmer months.”
What’s more, a fire feature also can increase your home’s appeal and market value.
TIPS FOR CHOOSING YOUR FIRE FEATURE
If all of that has you imagining the possibilities for your own property, here are some things to consider as you plan for a fire feature.
Location, Location, Location. When planning the ideal spot for your fire feature, be sure that your site is well away from the house, Ball advises. “That’s not only for safety purposes, but because you don’t necessarily want to be under the shadow of the structure of the house,” Ball explained. He suggests placing the feature further out in the yard for a better “feel” and to create a destination within your outdoor space.
Integration with the Landscape. Consider how your fire feature will fit into your overall outdoor design. “We want the whole space to flow, so there’s good circulation, and so that everything is oriented in the right way and works together,” said Ball. “You want the elements to function together such that you’re not segmenting or making a property feel too small.
A fire feature can transform your backyard into a year-round retreat.
What’s more, a fire feature also can increase your home’s appeal and market value.
“You also want to take advantage of a good view,” he added. “And you need to look at the backyard space: what are the grades like? How does it slope? You want to consider how you place a fire pit or fireplace in such a way that it allows for optimal performance and doesn’t stifle other areas and their uses. That way, each area or outdoor ‘room’ has its own purpose, and collectively they work together.”
Permanent or Portable? Decide whether you want a built-in feature or something you can move around, like a smaller chiminea on a stand. “Think about whether you want a permanent fire pit or something that you can move around so the space is flexible,” Ball recommended.
Fuel Type. Consider whether you prefer wood-burning or gas-fueled options. Each has its own charm and maintenance requirements. Work with your designer and research what fuel costs you can expect.
Style and Design. Fire features come in various styles, from rustic to contemporary. “You can have a round fire pit. You can have a rectangular or square, depending on your style,” Ball noted. “Most of the fire pits we build are generally 20” to 24” above the ground, so there’s a seat wall on the outside.” Love the idea of fire but don’t like smoke? You might want to opt for a smokeless fire pit insert.
Budget Considerations. Costs can vary widely based on your choices, and adding features like walls, pergolas, and gas appliances can bump up the price. Ball provides a rough estimate: “A built-in stone fire pit for a wood fire is $5,000. If you put in an insert, it could be $500 to $2,000 more. A patio space around it could be another $10,000.” Another factor in price: the literal lay of the land. Grading and leveling land to work with your dream fire feature can add to the cost, but it might be well worth it to fulfill your ideal and add value to your home.
Ed Ball advises siting features away from the house, both for safety and to avoid being in the shadow of the house's structure.
And you might also consider developing your outdoor living space over time to spread the costs. “Our primary objective with our clients is to create an overall master plan that they can implement, whether all at once or in phases,” Ball said.
Permitting. Be aware of local regulations and permit requirements. “For most fire pits in the Washington, D.C., area, if it’s a wood fire pit, you generally do not need a permit,” Ball explained. “If you get into a gas appliance fire pit, you would need a gas line run, and therefore you would need a gas permit. We can design a space and help build it, and we’ll also handle any permitting required by the local jurisdiction, whether that’s a county, city, or town.”
Whether you opt for a simple fire pit or an elaborate outdoor fireplace built into a pergola or pavilion, a fire feature can transform your backyard into a year-round retreat. So as the leaves begin to turn and the evenings grow cooler, why not consider how a fire feature could warm up your outdoor space and your evenings with family and friends? It might just become your favorite “room” in the house—even though it’s outside.
Ready to explore fire feature options for your home? Visit Ed Ball Designs online at edballdesigns.com or call (703) 433-1863.
“They bring warmth, and they bring a sense of community with your family and friends.”
Fire features come in a variety of sizes and styles to suit nearly every home.
KINDNESS ROCKS LEESBURG
One family’s effort to spread cheer has grown into a beloved community project.
ARTICLE BY GLENYE OAKFORD
PHOTOGRAPHY BY THE KINDNESS ROCKS PROJECT (VA.)
When graphic artist Margie Hunter and her daughter Dani dropped their first hand-painted rock alongside the neighborhood walking path that passes their house on Graywood Way, they didn’t foresee the ripple effect that particular rock would have. What began as a modest attempt to spread cheer during the isolating days of the COVID-19 pandemic has
A playhouse for children, a "dog library" of pet toys—The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.) has it all. Credit: The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.)
“It’s a peaceful, very positive place to come.”
blossomed into a community landmark known as The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.), transforming the Hunters’ yard into a neighborhood hub for kindness and gratitude.
“It started during covid,” Margie recalled. “We have a walking path that runs between my house and my neighbor’s house, and there were a lot of families out walking together, just spending time together.”
Margie and Dani got an idea: why not paint rocks with uplifting messages and place them along their fence line for passersby to discover?
“We were just trying to be as positive as possible,” Margie explained. “We painted the rocks in really bright colors. We wanted people coming around the corner or walking on the path to be like, ‘Oh, wow. What is that?’”
When their neighbors started collecting the positivity rocks, the project expanded.
“It got to a point where we couldn’t keep up, because people would walk along, find a rock that they liked with a nice message, and then they’ d pick it up and take it home,” Margie said. “We got the idea of painting a bunch of rocks with no messages and lined the entire fence line.”
Dani also suggested arranging the colorful rocks in a rainbow pattern, which became a recurring theme as the Hunters continued to expand their creation.
“We were trying to think of other ways to add more color, more color, more color,” Margie explained. They hung colorful buckets of rocks along the fence, so people could easily take them if they wished, and added a bench in an inviting shady spot nearby.
The neighborhood’s response was supportive, Margie said. When the Hunters asked people to donate old aluminum soda cans for a new element, their neighbors happily obliged, contributing bags
The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.)'s positivity has rebounded on creators Margie and Dani Hunter. Credit: The Kindness Rocks Project (Va)
Top: “This is a spot where you can come and just give encouragement to other people,” said Margie Hunter.
Credit: The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.)
Bottom: The Rainbow Bridge features memorials to beloved pets.
Credit: The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.)
of old cans in anticipation of what new art would emerge. The Hunters fashioned the cans into the flowers and butterflies now sprinkled throughout the project. “People were always asking us, ‘What’s next?’ They were just so excited to see the next thing we were going to add,” Margie recalled.
One of the project’s most striking features is an oak tree in a colorful “sweater” Margie crocheted during lockdown. It has become a Wishing Tree, festooned with handwritten notes describing visitors’ hopes and dreams. “We made these little tags, and we have Sharpies out there, so people can write their wishes on these little tags and then hang them on the tree,” Margie explains. “There are probably thousands of wishes on that tree now. Most of them are wishing for happiness and world peace, but sometimes you’ll run across but one that is something that makes you realize, ‘Gosh, this is something I could do for somebody.’”
People have responded by donating a requested item to a child or doing a favor for someone who needs one. What started as an effort to express a little neighborly encouragement is now a landmark where people share gratitude, memorialize a pet, make their own small mark in their neighborhood, or simply pause to reflect on their day.
“It’s a peaceful, very positive place to come,” Margie said. “It’s very welcoming.”
Recently, she added a “trading post” for the neighborhood’s children, based in a playhouse she weatherproofed. “I just set it out there and put a couple books and some stuffed animals in it,” she explained, “and now people bring their own stuffed animal and will trade for one that’s already in there.
“It shows you there really is a lot of good out there and people want a way to share and encourage that.”
It’s fun to go out there and see what did somebody bring today? What is something that somebody wanted to share with other people? A lot of kids in the neighborhood visit regularly, and when they’re done with a toy, they’ll think, ‘I want to share it with someone else.’”
The way their neighbors have taken The Kindness Rock Project (Va.) to heart has made the Hunters even more appreciative for the good in their community. “It’s human nature to focus so much on the negative things are being said to you, and not on that one positive thing that might be being said. With this, we get so
much more positive out of it,” Margie said. “It’s grown so far beyond what it originally started as. It’s taken on a life of its own. I’m just the caretaker at this point.
“It shows you there really is a lot of good out there and people want a way to share and encourage that. That’s what it’s turned into: this is a spot where you can come and just give encouragement to other people.”
Learn more about The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.) on Facebook at facebook.com/groups/ thekindnessrocksprojectva
Neighbors contributed old soda cans to create the garden flowers and butterflies at The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.). Credit: The Kindness Rocks Project (Va.)
Be aware of social media's power to affect your outlook.
Amy Clay Vanessa Cheshier
Cultivate thankfulness for the whole family with a gratitude jar.
A SEASON OF THANKS: THRIVE THIS THANKSGIVING AND BEYOND
Therapists from Sunstone Counseling explain how a gratitude practice can benefit year-round.
When Amy Clay, Licensed Professional Counselor and co-founder of Sunstone Counseling, begins a couples session, she asks each partner to share something they appreciate about the other and how that makes them feel.
“It can be anything from, ‘I love that you make me coffee in the morning, and it makes me feel cared for,’ to something grand like, ‘I love that you’re a devoted father, and that makes me feel grateful that our children have you as a dad,’ ” she said.
The practice helps couples stop focusing on what’s wrong in a relationship and instead, infuse appreciation into it. Amy referenced Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist, researcher and
prolific author who specializes in couples and discovered that a ratio of five positive responses/ interactions for each negative response/interaction results in the happiest couples.
“You want more ‘deposits’ than ‘withdrawals’ in your relationships,” Amy said. “Just like a bank account—if you have a lot of withdrawals over time, the relationship can feel depleted, sometimes nearly bankrupt. Couples have to be intentional about having gratitude for their partner to keep making those emotional and relational deposits to have a ‘rich’ relationship.”
We’re all reminded to cultivate this skill each November for Thanksgiving, but Amy asks people to make this intentional shift to
ARTICLE BY LEESBURG LIFESTYLE STAFF
CONTINUED >
gratitude year-round. Studies show it’s worth the effort, as this positive perspective reduces depression and anxiety.
“We have a survival brain that is always scanning for problems; that’s our default setting,” Amy said. “Since we’re no longer cavemen or -women and don’t have to look for those physical threats, gratitude helps us get out of that primitive way of thinking.”
But Amy stressed that she doesn’t want to oversimplify serious challenges or create toxic positivity. “By no means do I think you can sprinkle gratitude onto a major problem and solve it,” she said. “It’s hard to practice gratitude when you need it the most.”
In over 25 years of being a therapist—including more than a decade with Sunstone, which has 70 therapists across multiple locations in Northern Virginia—Amy has seen people become more open to the practice of gratitude and mindfulness.
“It was considered sort of woo-woo, but now people have apps like Calm or Balance, and it’s widely accepted,” she said. “People have access to this information more readily, so more people are like, yeah, I get it. It’s the idea of really practicing it and making it part of your routine.”
A SELECTION OF SKILLS-BASED THERAPIES
Vanessa Cheshier, who practices in Sunstone’s Ashburn office, employs Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a skills-based intervention focusing on regulating emotions, balancing acceptance with change, and creating a life worth living. She explained that gratitude doesn’t have to be black or white. “You can acknowledge what’s not going well and still find pieces of gratitude even in things you don’t like,” she said.
Vanessa runs DBT groups at Sunstone to help clients build skills for regulating their emotions, tolerating stress, becoming more mindful, and communicating effectively. “It helps us gain perspective and turn our mind toward the positive,” she said.
In a part of DBT called a diary card, she asks clients to track their daily behaviors and emotions and write something that makes them grateful. “I’ve gotten feedback from a lot of people that it’s their favorite part, and it kind of puts things in perspective when they get to it at the end of the diary card,” she said.
Another mindfulness skill that she incorporates is the practice of Loving Kindness. “It’s a kind of mediation that you do to express peace,” she said, adding that it’s shown to increase gratitude, joy and hope and protect us from
Incorporate gratitude into your daily life with these prompts:
• Bookend the day with a gratitude journal, noting at least five things to appreciate.
• Cultivate gratitude in your relationships, whether with your child, spouse or coworker. Let people know what you appreciate about them.
• Create a gratitude jar, with everyone in the family contributing a slip of paper noting something positive.
• Try “flooding”: Write everything you like and value in another person and share with that person.
• At a family dinner, share something that you’re thankful for that day or say something nice to everyone at the table.
• If you’re stuck, use your senses. What do you see or smell that you’re grateful for?
Next page, top: Incorporate gratitude into your daily life with a journal. | Bottom: Studies show a gratitude practice can benefit year round, not just at Thanksgiving.
A ratio of five positive responses/ interactions for each negative response/ interaction results in the happiest couples.
judgment and hostility. It involves coming up with genuine well wishes for yourself, others, or the world as a whole. As a meditation, almost like a prayer, you repeat those well wishes for yourself or someone else, for instance, ‘May I feel safe and protected.’
“You can use it toward yourself or toward people you have positive or negative feelings about, which is the more challenging one,” Vanessa said. “If we’re sending well wishes to people who aren’t our favorite, it can make us more grateful.”
As humans, we’re biologically wired to seek out the negative to avoid dangers, and we need to be more intentional about finding the positive. That’s where the dialectical perspective comes in.
“Some people are turned off by the idea of being grateful and find it invalidating or that it’s toxic positivity, that you are expected to gloss over problems and think everything is great even if it’s not going the way that you want it to,” she said. “But there are ways to practice gratitude where you still acknowledge the troubles you’re having or the troubles going on in the world. It can be hard for some people to be grateful when watching the news, for instance. There are terrible things happening and people suffering. There’s almost a sense of guilt that can come
for being grateful, and that’s where dialectics come in: Both things can be true. Terrible things are happening in the world, and there are still things we can be grateful for, even if it’s a tiny little piece of something.”
From children to adolescents, adults and couples, all of whom Sunstone serves, gratitude can be woven into therapy, addressing life’s challenges with a range of approaches. Strength-based positive psychology—which includes using skills to improve gratitude— can play a key role in gaining a positive perspective in lives and relationships, and that doesn’t have to end when the turkey and stuffing are gone.
“People get in habitual ways of talking and thinking,” Amy said. Instead of always complaining about what you don’t like, she said, think about what you’d like MORE of.
“As a therapist, I’m trying to help them move out of a low state. Finding what’s working in life can be transformational, particularly as people keep building on it over time,” she said. “They’ll catch themselves in a scarcity mindset, feeling depressed and angry and anxious about that and think, ‘What do I need to do to move myself up to a higher state?’ Gratitude is part of it. Getting into a new habit and flipping that script can help people transform their lives.”
Is Social Media Stealing
Our Happiness?
Most people know that social media can be a powerful driver of discontent. Amy Clay of Sunstone Counseling said to notice how we feel when we see things we want and don’t have in others’ feeds.
“Someone’s trip to Hawaii looks amazing, and you haven’t taken a trip this year,” she said. “Jealousy is always an arrow or sign. It’s saying, ‘I long for something I don’t have,’ but is it really Hawaii that you want, or is it time off? Comparison is the thief of joy.”
She recommended recognizing who you’re following. “Some people are inundating themselves with tough news, and it looks like the world is going to end. It’s really hard to keep a positive perspective if that’s what your social media feed is,” she said. “You might have to turn it off or edit what you’re subscribing to.”
OCTOBER 27TH - DECEMBER 8TH
Harry Potter: A Forbidden Forest Experience
Morven Park, Leesburg
Ready your wand and cast spells, come face-to-face with magical creatures, and enjoy a spellbinding Forbidden Forest experience based on the world of Harry Potter. Walking tour, prices vary by age and date. morvenpark.org
NOVEMBER 7TH - DECEMBER 15TH
Lucketts Holiday House
Lucketts | 10:00 AM
This holiday tradition at Lucketts Store offers all the inspiration you’ll need for a festive season. Enjoy everything from murals to holiday décor, plus spend time by the campfire or relax with a glass of wine from Vanish Brewery. Open Thursdays through Sundays, timed entry tickets $25. Children 10 and under free. luckettstore.com
NOVEMBER 8TH - 10TH
Northern Virginia Christmas Market
Dulles Expo Center, Chantilly
More than 300 artisans will display their works just in time for the holidays. Find pottery, jewelry, stained glass, wood, photography, and much more, plus homemade treats. Consider bringing a donation of goods for the Capital Area Food Bank food drive held along with the market. Friday and Saturday, 10-6, Sunday 10-5. $9 (Children under 12 free) online or at the door. emgshows.com
live theatre
Death Comes to Dinner
Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre
Nov 2 & 9 at Oatlands in Leesburg
Nov 10 at Ambiance in Ashburn
Nov 16 Fundraiser for Help 4 Our Children in Ashburn
The Ghost of Murder Yet to Come
Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre
Dec 6 at ONO Offshore in Chantilly
Dec 7 at Casanel Winery in Leesburg
Dec 8 & 21 at Oatlands in Leesburg
Dec 13 at Effingham Manor Winery in Nokesville
Dec 14 at Kalero Vineyards in Purcellville
Dec 15 at Ambiance Restaurant in Ashburn
Dec 19 at C’est Bon by Savoir Fare in Round Hill
Dec 20 at Creek’s Edge Winery in Lovettsville
A Christmas Story Classic Family Play
Dec 7, 14, 21 & 23 at 7:00pm, Dec 8.15 & 22 at 2:00pm
Magic and Mischief
Nov 8, Dec 13 at 7:30pm
StageCoach Bandits Improv
Nov 22, Dec 20 at 7:30pm
NOVEMBER 9TH
Appalachian Stomp
Clogging Workshop
Old Stone School, Hillsboro | 9:00 AM
Join the Blue Ridge Cloggers for a day of dancing fun. Open to all levels; beginners welcome. $25 for dancers and $5 for spectators. Lunch and dinner available for $8 each. appalachianstomp.com
NOVEMBER 22ND
StageCoach Bandits
Improv Troupe
StageCoach Theater Ashburn | 7:30 PM
Enjoy a night of comedy as actors use prompts from the audience in this interactive show that’s never the same twice. Mature themes, recommended for ages 18 and older. $15 online (plus $3 service fee) or $20 at the door. stagecoachtc.com
NOVEMBER 23RD
Loudoun Therapeutic Riding
50th Anniversary Gala
Salamander Resort, Middleburg | 5:00 PM
Enjoy this black-tie event featuring a silent auction, art auction, and live music to support 50 years of connecting people with the healing power of horses. $450 per ticket. ltrf.org
NOVEMBER 23RD
Freeze Your Gizzard 5K
Ida Lee Park Recreation Center, Leesburg | 9:00 AM
Run a scenic cross-country 5K in Ida Lee Park or enjoy the 1-mile Fun Run, and take home a long-sleeve shirt to show off your efforts. No dogs or strollers. $30 if registered by Nov. 9, then prices go up to $35 (November 10) and $40 day of. leesburgva.gov/events
