Issue 5, Volume 1: April 2013

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In THis Issue april 2013 - Volume 1, Issue 5

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8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 livingout 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110 Garden City, NY 11530 516.323.0011

follow our lead Become a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/livingoutli or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/livingoutli

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David Kilmnick, Publisher info@livingoutli.org Meryl Lumba, editor editor@livingoutli.org Jeff Main, Art Director art@livingoutli.org Andrew Schleider, Advertising advertising@livingoutli.org

Living Out is produced

by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network with support from Morey Publishing, LLC.

1 Cover 2 donaldsons subaru 3 In this issue 4 letter from the editor 5 oraquick 6 in the news: national 7 in the news: interNational 8 Out on LI: glbt athletes take national stage 10 out on LI: glbt clergy exhibit 11 ligaly alumni reflect 12 movie and book reviews 13 free 14 an interview with gay poet dan vera 15 milgrim, mejias, and alvarado 16 calendar 18 Be Scene: Photo spread 20 Out front: pam grier 22 Out front: Ted allen 24 living healthy 25 living smart: home equity 26 diy: bring the nightlife to you 27 2013 summer fashion tips 28 travel: st. louis 29 car review: subaru outback 30 POint of view 31 huntington bay dental 34 thatched cottage 35 outspoken

get published!

Want to join our team as a monthly contributor?

We’re looking for talented writers and photographers to get involved in Long Island’s newest GLBT publication!

Contributors Leah Adams-Schoen, Joey Amato, Matthew Ambrosio, Bill Blazey, Christopher Boire, Mike Canestraro, James Fallarino, Rev. Irene Monroe, Kirsten Rizzo, Rachel Roth, Laurie Segal, Gregg Shapiro, Gwen Smith, Andy Stern, Robert Vitelli. Cover photo: Peter Ross

apply to be a contributor Email editor@livingoutli.org!

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Letter from the editor

Spring has sprung, and while it’s been a slow start to warmer weather, the team at Living Out is looking forward to longer days of Summer. This issue reflects that, as it’s chock full of all the things reminiscent of more sunshine: the outdoors and going out.

We’re living in quite a historic time now. The US Supreme Court will soon be ruling on cases and policies that will forever change the lives of thousands of same-sex couples. Support for same-sex marriage is at an all-time high, with many polls showing more than 60 percent of all Americans favoring full equality for same-sex couples. In fact, many have said that they

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have never seen such a quick change in public opinion on a social issue such as this one.

With the rapid change that is happening, one can easily forget that this issue is only one of many that GLBT people face everyday. Another still occurring is the blatant homophobia GLBT professional athletes face. While we still see homophobia in professional sports, we’re starting to see a movement—though not as quick—but one that is gaining momentum, with more and more professional athletes speaking out for equality for the GLBT community.

In this issue of Living Out, we take a look at a local perspective on what it’s like to “be out” in sports and what being part of an inclusive team means to some athletes in our community (p. 8).

Also this issue, Living Out had two exclusive celebrity interviews (p. 20) with Ted Allen and Pam Grier, discussing their respective and celebrated

careers, what GLBT activism means to them, and their advice to youth about the issues and challenges that the GLBT community still face today.

So with the warm weather just getting ready to break out any day, make sure to keep this issue of Living Out handy. Whether you’re gearing up to play sports, reading a good book of poetry under a blooming tree, or throwing your own mixer (p. 26), Living Out has you covered.

Check out more exclusive content online at www. livingoutli.org and be sure to tell us what you’re doing to celebrate Spring on Facebook or Twitter!

With pride,

Meryl Lumba, Editor

Be Heard

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Share your thoughts with Living Out about our exclusive content by emailing editor@livingoutli.org.

Like Living Out on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for exclusive online content and updates.

Pass along a copy or tell friends and family to visit Living Out online at www.livingoutli.org

Opportunities and internships available now for talented monthly contributors and photographers.

LIVING OUT

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10/9/12 10:46 AM

In the news national News

By Rachel Roth

Mississippi Mayoral Candidate Victim of Hate Crime?

An openly gay Mississippi mayoral hopeful was found dead in an apparent homicide. Marco McMillian was running for office in Clarksdale and was thought to be the first openly gay, viable candidate in Mississippi.

McMillian’s body was discovered near a Mississippi River levee.

A person with direct knowledge of the investigation confirmed to the Associated Press that McMillian had some bruises and there were burns on at least one area of his body. The person was

not authorized to publicly comment and spoke on condition of anonymity.

Members of McMillian’s camp believe he was intentionally targeted and the FBI is investigating the possibility that his murder was a hate crime.

“We feel that this was not a random act of violence based on the condition of the body when it was found,” said a statement released by his campaign.

Openly gay Mississipi Mayoral candidate Marco McMillian was found dead. Lawrence Reed (Inset) has been charged with his murder.

Twenty-two-year-old Lawrence Reed was charged with murder in the case. Reed allegedly crashed McMillian’s SUV into another vehicle, but authorities say McMillian was not in the car.

Anti-violence Law GLBT Inclusive “Transgender victims of violence can be victimized again by a discriminatory system that’s supposed to help them.” – Mara Keisling

The recent passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) has historic implications for the GLBT community. The bill—which was signed into law on March 7—was able to pass both the US Senate and the House even with the controversial protections for GLBT, Native Americans, and immigrants.

Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE), called the added protections “crucial” to the trans community.

Keisling also pointed out that VAWA’s passage is significant because it marks the second fully GLBT-inclusive federal law after the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

quinn launches historic campaign Christine Quinn has announced that she is running for New York City Mayor. If elected, she will be the city’s first female and first openly gay mayor.

Quinn is presently the City Council Speaker and is running against several candidates who possess strong records on GLBT issues.

discrimination Bill dies in Utah Senate A bill that would prohibit discrimination in housing and employment based on sexual orientation and gender identity died in the Utah Legislature before it could even get to the Senate floor.

A local FOX affiliate, FOX 13 News, reported that Senate President Wayne Niederhauser, did not bring SB 262 up for debate because there was not enough support in the chamber for it to be considered.

Gay Rights Movement Addresses Immigration

A recent report from the Williams Institute at UCLA finds that out of the 11 million undocumented immigrants estimated to be in America today, 267,000 adults identify as GLBT. Another 637,000 LGBT adults were legal immigrants. Gary Gates, a Williams Institute scholar, says that the numbers are a “conservative estimate.”

These findings are significant because President Obama is calling on Congress to act on immigration reform and GLBT rights activists are fighting hard to include protections for GLBT immigrants and their partners.

At the center of the debate is the ability to sponsor one’s partner for a visa, which advocates say affects US citizens and immigrants alike.

Hundreds Stand for PDA Two Sacramento men were told by security that if they did not stop holding hands and kissing while at a local mall, they would be asked to leave.

According to BuzzFeed, hundreds gathered in support of the men—Daniel Chesmore, 21, and Jose Guzman, 24—in a “Love is Love” rally staged outside of the mall.

The couple was reportedly told by the security guard that anyone, regardless of sexuality, would be ejected from the mall for public displays of affection. BuzzFeed reports that it is unknown if the security guard was disciplined for asking the two to leave.

According to FOX 13, in the six years non-discrimination bills have been run through the Utah State Legislature, this one went the furthest.

Stay up to date with even more GLBT national news by visiting livingoutli.org!

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International News

By Rachel Roth

Chinese PFLAG Group Demands Marriage Equality Thousands of parents in China are demanding rights for their gay and lesbian children. In breaking with centuries-old tradition, nearly 200 parents of gays and lesbians wrote an open letter to Chinese lawmakers, demanding that their children be allowed to legally marry and have children.

Mexican Supreme Court Makes Landmark Decision Student Sues School Districts for Failing to Act on Bullying A teenager who was allegedly bullied for years is suing the school districts he claims subjected him to a hostile environment.

NJ.com reported that the lawsuit against Hunterdon Central Board of Education and Flemington-Raritan Board of Education says that the student was bullied not only by other children but by some school employees as well, from fourth grade onward.

The suit claims the school districts were made aware of the problem but did nothing to stop it. It also argues that the victim was targeted because of his perceived sexuality.

Years of abuse left long-lasting damage and the young man has developed debilitating health issues. He missed significant periods of school for hospitalization, according to the suit.

According to ABC News, the letter was published by a Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) chapter based in the southern China city of Guangzhou.

Mexico’s highest court ruled that two anti-gay words commonly used in Mexico are hate speech and not protected as freedom of expression under the country’s constitution, allowing those offended by them to sue for moral damages.

In the open letter, the parents wrote: “As the parents of homosexuals, we are often worried because they cannot legally marry, and this impacts to various degrees their ability to adopt; authorize necessary medical treatment; inherit their partner’s assets, or buy an apartment.”

According to the Associated Press, the magistrates voted 3-2 that the use of the words “punal” and “maricones”—roughly translates into “faggot”— and are “offensive and discriminatory.”

The Chinese government decriminalized homosexuality in 1997, and in 2001, it was no longer classified as a mental illness.

In the news

Most Russians against GLBT Rights As the Russian Parliament prepares for a second vote on legislation known as the “gay propaganda ban,” polls show an overwhelming majority of Russians would support passage of the bill.

According to the Levada Public Opinion Center, 85 percent of those polled oppose both same-sex marriage and gay pride events and 87 percent oppose the idea of holding regular gay pride events in their cities.

The bill, if passed, would nationally criminalize the “promotion of homosexuality and pedophilia among minors.”

The court ruled in favor of a journalist from the central city of Puebla who, in 2010, sued a reporter at a different newspaper for writing a column and referring to Puebla using the aforementioned words.

Queen has yet to Endorse glBT Rights Queen Elizabeth II has made history in her support of a non-discrimination commonwealth charter for the United Kingdom, which some are calling the monarch’s implied support for GLBT rights.

DeAr guys who like guys And GALS who like gAls, life, liberty And the pursuit of hAppiness begAn with Me.

Others, however, are not convinced. Zack Ford at ThinkProgress LGBT points out that the queen did not actually use the words “gay” or “lesbian” in her much-touted commitment to civil rights and gender equality.

“We are implacably opposed to all form of discrimination,” the charter reads. “Whether rooted in gender, race, colour, creed, political belief or other grounds.”

Ford wrote on ThinkProgress.org that “Other grounds” is intended to refer to sexual orientation, but was kept ambiguous because more than 41 countries of the 54 within the commonwealth still criminalize homosexuality.

P.S. Get your history strAight And your nightlife gAy.

At present, British Parliament is considering passage of widespread marriage equality and adoption rights laws.

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GLBT ATHLETES TAKE THE NATIONAL STAGE Despite the bias of some high-profile athletes, GLBT people refuse to shy away from the arena.

by Leah Adams-Schoen Penn State women’s basketball coach of 25 years, Rene Portland, had three rules for Coach Rene her team: No drinking, no Portland (top) and drugs, no lesbians. When 49ers star Chris Portland suspected playCulliver (left) both ers’ sexuality, her treatbelieved GLBT ment of them was horrenpeople should dous. Portland constantly stay off the court. “quizzed” team members Homophobic and about their sexual orientatransphobic ideas tion and even demanded like theirs inspired they “dress more femiNFL players nine.” The stories of PortChris Kluwe land’s players, who suffered and Brendan under her, are captured in Ayanbadejo the documentary film Train(right) to become ing Rules. The beginning of outspoken the end came for Portland athletes and allies. when she withdrew leading scorer Jennifer Harris’ scholarship. Harris filed a lawsuit and won. However, for most of her 25-year reign, Portland’s bigotry went unchallenged. don’t got no gay people on the team.

Although the film has publicized PortThey gotta get up outta here if they land’s homophobia, mainstream culdo...” ture is largely unaware of this history.

Generally, GLBT athletes have been inImmediately, the 49ers rejected his visible in both college and professional comments, and Culliver himself apolosports. Until now. Conversations about gized, “The derogatory comments I the rights and dignity of GLBT people made... are not how I feel. It has taken have recently entered the National me seeing them in print to realize they Football League (NFL). During Superare hurtful and ugly... I apologize... and bowl week, San Francisco 49er Chris I pledge to learn from this experience.”

Culliver gave the following response to a hypothetical question about having In contrast, the Baltimore Raven’s Brengay teammates: dan Ayanbadejo became a vocal supporter of marriage equality in Mary“I don’t do the gay guys man... We land. Afterwards, the Raven’s owner, 8

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Steve Bisciotti, received a letter from Baltimore County delegate, Emmett C. Burns Jr., urging Bisciotti to silence Ayanbadejo’s support of GLBT equality.

In response, Chris Kluwe, kicker for the Minnesota Vikings, sent the politician a scathing letter in support of Ayanbadejo and GLBT equality.

Now, Ayanbadejo and Kluwe have teamed up to write an amicus brief submitted to the Supreme Court of the United States, stating their support of marriage equality and opposition to Prop 8. In that brief, they said:

“When we advance the idea that some people should be treated differently because of who they are, demeaned in public as lesser beings, not worthy of the same rights and benefits as others despite their actions as good citizens and neighbors, then we deny them equal protection under the laws. America has walked this path before, and courageous people and the Court brought us to the right result. We urge the Court to repeat those actions here.”

As Kluwe and Ayanbadejo are working to make the NFL a hospitable and safe environment for gay players (the NFL

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GLBT Long Islanders looking to get involved in athletics have found their place with the Long Island Pride Sports Association (LIPSA). Leagues include softball, bowling, volleyball, flag football, and more.

RELATED CONTENT Read about Mexico’s decision to ban anti-GLBT slurs frequently used in professional sports: p. 30. does not currently have out players), Long Island Pride Sports Association (LIPSA) is home to many GLBT athletes.

Tami Francis has been with LIPSA for 10 years, first as a softball coach, then as league coordinator, and now as Vice President.

There is pride in Tami’s voice as she talks about her involvement with LIPSA, and her love of sports.

She began playing softball at an early age, continuing the sport both in high school and recreationally since. She noted that LIPSA is more than just sports: they give to the community by doing food drives, playing an all-star game that raises money for Autism, and doing various other fundraisers.

Tami also stated that LIPSA softball started as a gay league and is now inclusive of everyone as a competitive league that is recreational. “Everybody wants to win but our motto is helping each other – helping each other improve, helping each other feel comfort-

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able in their skin,” she shared.

LIPSA’s main focuses are softball and bowling. However, the organization also forms volleyball, flag football, and dodgeball teams that play within other leagues. Francis urges anyone, at any level, to join. She also coaches her son’s little league team. As a GLBT coach Francis commented, “I was nervous going into coaching kids because I was nervous of their parents’ reactions. My experience has been wonderful. If people are talking behind my back, they’re doing a good job because I don’t know about it.” When asked what is important to her as a GLBT athlete, Francis stated, with certainty: “A safe place to play. I don’t want to be looked at as a GLBT athlete. I want to be looked at as Tami.”

Glenn Daly, both a softball and bowling athlete, describes himself as “out and proud.” When talking about LIPSA, Glenn’s tone is appreciative, “Finding a venue in the late ’90s, where you were able to be yourself, and it wouldn’t be

frowned upon, was very difficult. LIPSA has provided a safe haven.”

In regards to Culliver’s anti-gay comments, Daly believed that one is taught to be homophobic and bigoted and did not want to place any judgment toward the NFL player. “I think he is evolving on the issue. It’s hurtful whether that’s how he really feels, or if it’s locker room banter. Fortunately, the 49ers organization has a completely different view,” Glenn remarked.

CO-ED SOFTBALL LIPSA offers the most friendly, exciting and affordable CO-ED Softball League on Long Island.

Games are played on Sunday afternoons and Thursday evenings in Selden, Port Jeff Station, Patchogue, Hauppauge and Bay Shore. The season runs from May through August.

Summer 2013 registration is now open: new teams and individual players welcome.

others to do so as well, stating that newcomers attend games quite frequently. She reflected on the NFL and professional sports, noting that society has not come very far, especially in male sports.

Professional sports, like much of middle America, is at a crossroads now.

Public support for equality is growing, as is the number of athletes that are speaking out for GLBT equality. However, by and large, most college and professional Laura Ann “LA” athletes do Dubecky has not come out “I don’t want to be looked been involved of the closet. at as a GLBT athlete. I want For with LIPSA softGLBT to be looked at as Tami.” ball for 15 years people who and admitted are living and that she owes a lot to the organizaworking in environments where tion. “I’ve met 75 percent of my friends there are not other GLBT-identified there. I was 20 years old, my girlfriend people, having supportive allies and left me, and I didn’t know anybody. I laws that demand equality, are parahappened to see a softball poster…” mount. For GLBT athletes who face she reminisced. the already tremendous pressures inherent in sports, allies working to Dubecky shared that new members provide hospitable environments are join LIPSA all the time and encourages priceless.

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photo exhibition: glbt clergy

By Christopher Boire

Modern media depicts a lot of anti-GLBT sentiment coming from faith-based organizations, or from individuals citing their religious beliefs as justification for their bigotry. This portrayal can make it difficult for GLBT individuals to look for understanding within the faith community. For two weekends in April, a refreshing perspective to counteract this sentiment will make its way to Long Island.

The traveling exhibit “We Have Faith: LGBT Clergy, Allied Clergy, and People of Faith Speak Out,” showcases photographs of GLBT and allied clergy members with their families. Photos are presented alongside descriptions of each family, revealing a look into their lives and offering a loving example for full equality and acceptance of GLBT people. Featured subjects span across multiple denominations and faiths, from Christianity to Judaism to Islam. The exhibit aims to show visitors that there is love and acceptance to be found within their own religious communities.

The exhibit is created by Family Diversity Projects, a non-profit organization that uses similar portrait exhibits to counteract stereotypes and prejudices by depicting the lives of others from different backgrounds or orientations. The group is also responsible for the book Love Makes a Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender People and their Families.

April 20-21 and April 26-28

learn more: visit familydiv.org/exhibits/we-have-faith

Open 1-5 p.m., except for April 26 (6-10 p.m.)

Led by: Conrad Strauch St. Paul’s Reformed Church in North Babylon 158 Phelps Lane, North Babylon, NY, 11703 631.661.5562 | stpaulsreformed@optonline.net

announcing long island pride on saturday, june 8: huntington LI Pride 2013 will take Huntington Village and Heckscher Park by storm with marchers and floats, tens of thousands of participants, and all-star entertainment on the stage all day long. This year’s theme is Super Pride, celebrating the superheroes in our community taking steps toward equality for all GLBT people.

The Long Island Pride Parade is expected to bring thousands of spectators this year as it kicks off at 12 p.m. on Main Street in Huntington Village.

March in this year’s parade or cheer from the sidelines to show your support. Following the Parade in Heckscher Park is PrideFest, the highlight of the year for Long Island’s GLBT and allied community. Dance to all-day festival entertainment, check out the VIP tent, have a beer (if you’re 21+) or browse dozens of community booths and vendors. Past entertainers include Frenchie Davis, La Bouche, Lucas Prata, and Reina.

Sponsorships, advertisement opportunities, and marching registration is open now. Visit www.lipride.org to learn more or sign up today.

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out on li

ligaly alumni reflect

By james fallarino When Tom Verni was a young recruit in the Police Academy in 1993, he met LIGALY co-founder and current CEO David Kilmnick at a community event in Huntington.

“David had spoken about this organization that he was putting together to go into schools and talk about growing up GLBT, and we connected afterwards to talk about me getting involved.”

For Verni, becoming a speaker for the fledgling organization was important so teenagers would understand that GLBT people could pursue any career they wanted. Verni recalled, “I wanted to show kids who thought they couldn’t be a police officer because they were gay that it was a possibility. Our options as GLBT people should be limitless.”

As LIGALY grew, Tom’s role expanded to provide training for local law enforcement on sensitivity to GLBT issues and to educate officers about LIGALY. Verni said, “It was important to make Long Island police aware of LIGALY services so that if they encountered a gay kid, they could refer them to the organization for support.“

Since his involvement in LIGALY, Tom has risen to the rank of Detective in the New York City Police Department and currently serves as the Citywide LGBT Community Liason for the Chief of Community Affairs.

He also continues to use the skills he gained as a volunteer at LIGALY to educate new officers about how to better serve the GLBT community.

When asked to reflect on LIGALY’s impact over the past twenty years, Verni stated, “LIGALY has not only saved the lives of young people who would have chosen suicide had there not been support available for them, but has also changed people’s perceptions about GLBT issues through a strong, far reaching, and consistent educational outreach effort.”

connect with other out & proud Long Islanders: facebook.com/ligalyalumni

National Volunteer Week is a time to celebrate people doing extraordinary things through service. This year, Volunteer Week is April 2127. Thank the volunteers in our community or dedicate yourself to a day of helping others.

For ways to give back to the GLBT community or become a volunteer yourself, call Keri Divanian at 631.665.2300 or email kdivanian@ligaly.org.

Brien Pouch

Volunteer at The Long Island GLBT Community Center By james fallarino

If you stop by The Center at Bay Shore on a weeknight, there’s a good chance you will be greeted by Brien Pouch. Pouch, 38, of Medford, first became a volunteer at LIGALY in 1997, before leaving for college. Pouch said, “A friend of mine was volunteering and introduced me to LIGALY. It seemed like a great fit for me.”

Fourteen years later, when Brien was applying to graduate school, he returned to LIGALY. Today, he can be found at The Center at Bay Shore several nights a week, where he is a front desk volunteer answering phones and assisting visitors. As a graduate student studying finance, he has also recently become a trained tax preparer through The Network and Bethpage Federal Credit Union’s Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program. He also wants to volunteer at more of The Network’s community events such

as the LI Pride Parade and PrideFest on June 8.

Working at The Center at Bay Shore’s front desk has allowed Pouch to see the work of the organization in action, and he reflected on his experience with one particular LIGALY youth. “I remember this transgender youth who came to LIGALY for the first time with his mom for a counseling session,” recalled Pouch. “He was very quiet and introverted at the beginning.

Within the past two years, this person has become so much more social, and looks much more happy. It’s amazing to see how far along he has come.”

For those considering volunteering with The Network, Brien highly recommends it. He said, “It’s a place where you can be comfortable, and the staff is always friendly and welcoming to the volunteers.

I think for anyone looking for a volunteer experience, this is a great place to do it.”

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out and about reviews screen savor By Gregg Shapiro

gun hill road

Gun Hill Road classmates in the school (Virgil) is not the locker-room. Enrique gets first American indie a job. Vanessa shows film to address GLBT no interest in attending issues in the Latino sporting events. community, but When Enrique tells it is definitely one Vanessa, “I didn’t raise of the better films you to be like this,” she out there. Enrique, responds, “You didn’t portrayed by Esai raise me.” Following this Morales, returns encounter is one of the to his Bronx home film’s most remarkable after serving time scenes: Vanessa is getting in prison. His wife ready for her date with Angie (Judy Reyes) is Chris. The attention to throwing a welcome Living Out says: amazing! detail, including forearm home party for him, and chest shaving, even though she’s tucking, hair, make-up, considering leaving press-on nails, and even hip-padding, him. Enrique’s teenaged child Michael, is incredible. Enrique is waiting up for played by Harmony Santana, in an Vanessa when she returns home. An impressive screen debut, does not plan enraged Enrique drags her into the to stick around for long at the party. bathroom, where he proceeds to cut off Once out the door, the audience watches Vanessa’s hair.

Michael transform into Vanessa who takes the stage to perform at a poetry Enrique is embarrassed to learn about slam.

Vanessa’s behavior at school, something that Angie kept secret since she supports After her performance, Vanessa is hit on Vanessa’s transition. Ultimately, Enrique’s

by Chris (Tyrone Brown) and respectfully final two acts of desperation – one of finds a way to let him know that she which includes taking Vanessa to a is transgender. The scene has a raw prostitute – backfire on him. In the film’s honesty and is intensely intimate. To finale, both Vanessa and Enrique head Vanessa’s surprise, Chris is undeterred. for home and reconciliation, but only one The lives of the father and “son” are of them will reach their destination. Gun then juxtaposed. Enrique meets with Hill Road is an explosive film fueled by his parole officer and vows not to go Harmony Santana’s riveting performance back to prison. Vanessa is harassed by —a film that cannot be missed.

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for bookworms

By mike canestraro

the guest list

Ethan Mordden is one of America’s most prolific and versatile authors. He is most famous for his decade-by-decade chronicle of the American Musical Theatre. In The Guest List, Mordden gives us a chatty history of New York’s highs and lows— from Mrs. Astor’s first society soiree in 1902 to Truman Capote’s infamous Black and White Ball of 1966. Along the way, we encounter the likes of Dorothy Parker and her Algonquin table cronies, Mayors La Guardia and Walker, Walter Winchell, The Stork Club, and Broadway history.

names in White Broadway Revues, film, and Broadway book Musicals.

In 1939, she proceeded to astonish everyone with a heavy dramatic turn in Mamba’s Daughters and went onto even greater heights as a tragic actress before venturing into television and ending her career singing hymns on The Billy Graham Hour. Along the way, the bisexual Waters was as volcanic onstage as well as off.

She was a diva with a capital D, threw temper tantrums that gave Hollywood heavyweights L.B. Mayer and Darryl F. Zanuck the shakes, and introduced as many standard songs as Astaire or Merman.

The outstanding chapter of the book Living Out says: good read! puts the career and Some of the chapters life of Ethel Waters, a are not as interesting now sadly neglected as others. I’ve never talent, who was the found Fiorello to be of first black mega-star the New York much interest even in the musical built Stage produced. Born into extreme around him, but Mordden remains the poverty, the uneducated Waters moved smartest writer on American culture from touring in Black Vaudeville to a today so even a B-level book from series of smash jazz/blues recordings in an A-level writer is something to be the Twenties to costarring with major cherished.

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“Disability Is A Matter Of Perception.

If You Can Do Just One Thing Well, You Are Needed By Someone” -Martina Navratilova

Socialization/Group Meetings Meetings are open to anyone interested in joining FREE TO BE who are GLBT, questioning and gay-straight alliance.

Meetings Include Guest Speakers, Event Planning, Open Discussion, and Social Events Next Meeting Date: April 30, 2013 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm

Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637

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LIVING OUT

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out and about poetry month

by gregg shapiro

Speaking Wiri Wiri (Red Hen Press, 2013) by gay poet Dan Vera is the winner of the inaugural Letras Latinas/Red Hen Poetry Prize. The book, Vera’s second full-length collection, consists of 45 poems in five distinct sections. Latino, queer, son of immigrants, fascinated with language and memory, Vera’s book couldn’t come at a better time. Writing with authority, assurance and passion, Vera’s Speaking Wiri Wiri earns him his rightful place alongside his poetry heroes.

At what age did you seriously begin to write poetry?

I began writing poetry in college during the lead up to the first Iraq War. This would be 1989. As it turned out, the war was short, but as the subsequent years have revealed, it proved to be a skirmish in a longer war that we are still involved in almost 25 years later. Back then, poetry allowed me a way to express my own concerns about the war. I didn’t seriously begin to write poetry, to dedicate myself to it, to immerse myself in it, until many years later.

Where does prose fit into your writing life?

I’ve written some essays on gay identity and history, which probably come out of my academic background in anthropology and history. Prose is certainly something I haven’t ruled out in the future.

In many ways I see my writing as storytelling and uncovering and retelling histories that are worthy of recording.

In your poem “The Interrogation of Poetry,” you write about Pablo Neruda. Who do you consider your poetry heroes?

Well, Neruda is certainly one of them. I used to joke that my life was like the first 19 minutes of The Wizard of Oz until the day I picked up a volume of Neruda (it was William O’Daly’s translations of Libro de Preguntas) and my life went Technicolor [laughs]. My other poetry heroes would include Emily Dickinson for her persistence to write in solitude and her engagement with the world through her writing.

There’s something rather heroic about that.

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Speaking Wiri Wiri is the inaugural winner of the Letras Latinas/Red Hen Poetry Prize. What does that honor mean to you?

Certainly, there’s a sense of validation with the prize. As a writer whose academic work has been in other fields, whose studies in poetry have been largely autonomous, it reassures me that I’m on the right path. But the honor comes with a great responsibility because I recognize the importance of this second book prize for Latina/Latino literature. My story is merely one of many in a larger project to open up what it means to be a member of this society.

Tell us about dividing your book into sections.

The first three sections are titled “The Trouble With Language,” “The Trouble With Borders” and “The Trouble With Memory.” While I didn’t go into the writing of these poems with these ideas in mind, I saw recurring elements as I put the completed manuscript together.

Those titles are a blunt admission that we are never perfectly served by language, borders or memory, which seem to me to be porous and malleable by time and repetition.

I love discovering these layers of meaning that serve as a trap-door for anyone trying to be rigid about identity: our own and others.

As a gay poet of Cuban heritage, what can you say about the tradition of queer Cuban writers, like Achy Obejas and the late Reinaldo Arenas.

Those two poets have been sources of great pleasure and reassurance for me. Certainly as a gay Cuban kid who grew up in South Texas, their being gay and Cuban meant a lot to me. I

remember finding an immediate resonance with Obejas’s We Came All the Way from Cuba So You Could Dress Like This? Here was a writer mediating these multiple identities. As for Arenas, his memoir Before Night Falls served as a priceless testament of the repression faced by queer people like me in Cuba. To my mind, Arenas belongs to that rich tradition of gay Cuban writers like Lezama Lima, Virgilio Piñera and Severo Sarduy. As in all cultures, gay people have been among the central pillars in Cuban culture.

Unfortunately they’ve been largely sidelined or silenced.

What did you think of the poem that Blanco read at President Obama’s 2013 inauguration?

I loved Blanco’s ability to thread the personal with the aspirational in that poem. That’s never been done in an inaugural poem and it’s a hell of an accomplishment.

He managed to find a way to be communal and meditative at the same time. I loved what Elizabeth Alexander, the last inaugural poet, said about creating a moment of quiet in the midst of the pomp and pageantry. Richard did that but he also found a way to express the myriad and the shared. Just lovely.

What’s next for you?

I’ve been doing more research and reading and my interest seems to be on how Latino history is tied up with the tension between American democratic and imperial impulses.

I’m just really happy to have the opportunity to share these poems with new audiences.

We Abide in the Irony

We gloried for hours in seventeenth century masterworks, Deep in subterranean rooms of Sakler Gallery, Hokusai’s Japanese ukiyo-e art.

Every fold of fabric painted precise, Chrysanthemum, crane and willow tree, Cases filled with the steady hand of four hundred year old genius.

We arose to Spring Washington in a full blossomed Saturday, Walked to the Roosevelt memorial Four administrations, Four rooms of frieze and fixed type salutes to civil liberty in granite.

Beloved monument to the interner of descendents of Japanese ukiyo-e artists.

At the end of the 2nd World War, We retired to the reflecting pool, Walked beneath the pink colored branches of A long ago Emperor’s shame-faced gift.

Felt the silk fabric of history folding and enfolding again.

read excerpts of dan vera’s acclaimed poetry and see profiles of other glbt poets by visiting livingoutli.org

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LIVING OUT

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show your pride

calendar of events Long Island Gay Parent Teacher Student Association

Thursday, April 11 6:30 p.m. Committee Meetings; 7 p.m. General Meeting The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City The nation’s only chartered Gay PTA, open to all who want to create safer schools. www. ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

20-Something

Friday, April 12, 7:30-8:30 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City A social and discussion group for GLBT people age 20-29. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

SAGE-LI Nassau Restaurant Outing and Nassau Outdoors

Sunday, April 14, 12 p.m.

Restaurant—Outback Steakhouse, 2124 Merrick Ave., Merrick.

Outing—Merrick Theatre and Center for the Arts, 2222 Hewlett Ave., Merrick Enjoy lunch at Outback Steakhouse followed by a production of “The Murder at the Vicarage”.

Call SAGE-LI to RSVP. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

Aleph 2.0

Thursday, April 25, 7-8:30 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste 110, Garden City The Aleph 2.0 Project supports LGBT Jewish young adults in their 20s and 30s, with programming and discussions reflecting their lives. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Youth Support Group

Thursday, April 25, 5-6 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore For GLBT youth under the age of 21. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Suffolk Restaurant Outing and Suffolk Outdoors

Friday, April 26, 6 p.m.

Restaurant, 6 p.m.—California Diner, 570 S. Service Rd. (Sunrise Hwy), Patchogue. Outing, 8 p.m.— Clare Rose Playhouse, 155 W. Roe Blvd. (St. Joseph’s College), Patchogue Enjoy lunch at California Diner followed by a production of “Sin, Sex & the CIA”.

Call SAGE-LI to RSVP. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

TRUE discussion group

Friday, April 26, 6 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore A space for gay and bi men of color to talk about health, relationships, sexuality and other topics. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

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FREE To Be

Tuesday, April 30, 4:30-6 p.m.

Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc., 120 Plant Ave., Hauppauge A safe and friendly environment for GLBT and questioning people with developmental and/ or behavioral health disabilities, as well as allies. www.familyres.org, 516.870.1637

Book Club

Tuesday, April 30, 7-8 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City This month, the group discusses Ellis Avery’s “The Last Nude.” www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Advisory Board—Suffolk County

Monday, May 6, 1-2 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Provides feedback for SAGE-LI programming for older adults and helps plans future programs. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

Senior Advocate

Monday, May 6, 11-1 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Representative from Suffolk Office for the Aging visits SAGE-LI monthly to provide onsite Benefits and Entitlement Counseling www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Advisory Board—Nassau County

Tuesday, May 7, 1-2 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City Provides feedback for SAGE-LI programming for older adults and helps plans future programs. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

Al-Anon

Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtcenter. org, 631.665.2300

Al-Anon

Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtcenter. org, 631.665.2300

Alcoholics Anonymous

Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtcenter. org, 631.665.2300

Aleph Project

Thursdays, 5:30-7 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City Supporting GLBT Jewish youth, their friends, and allies with programming and discussions. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Brother2Brother

1st Thursday of the month, 7-8 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City Social and discussion group for gay and bisexual men of color age 21+. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Co-Dependents Anonymous

Thursdays, 7:30-9 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave, Bay Shore 12-step group for those who desire healthy and loving relationships. www.liglbtcenter. org, 631.665.2300

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing—Nassau County Thursdays, 5-8 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing—Suffolk County

Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Garden City Mingle

Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Garden City. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

Getting Bi

1st and 3rd Mondays, 7:30-8:30 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Bi-monthly discussion group for people who identify as bisexual. All ages welcome. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Hampton Bays Mingle

2nd and 4th Thursdays, 3-5 p.m.

Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT seniors 50+ on the East End. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

LIGALY Advisory Board

Mondays, 5-7 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League

Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m.

Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473

LITE Social and Discussion Group

Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave, Bay Shore An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Monday Mingle

Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore SAGE-LI’s weekly social in for GLBT seniors 50+. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

OUTlet

Fridays, 8 p.m.-midnight The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends age 13-21. $2 admission, transportation available. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Parent Support Group

1st and 3rd Thursdays of the month, 6-7 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

PEP Team—Suffolk County

Thursdays, 6-8 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Interactive leadership program promoting sexual health for GLBT young people. www. ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Safe Schools Team— Suffolk County

Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Women at Nassau (SWAN)

Wednesdays, 7:30-8:30 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women. www. sageli.org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Calling Video Project

Tuesdays, 5 p.m.

The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Ste. 110, Garden City LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth and their friends to show off their skills!

Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011 Have an event that you want to promote in living out? Let us know what your organization is doing. Email editor@livingoutli.org.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT 4.314x11.25

FRIDAY APRIL 19

SUNDAY APRIL 28 • 3PM

FRIDAY MAY 3

FRI. & SAT. MAY 17 & 18 For more information visit www.TheTheatreAtWestbury.com Box Office Open Monday-Saturday 12:30PM-5:30PM

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Out and about

be scene the 18th annual long island glbt conference march 12th at stony brook university

share your pride: come out to glbt community events and you might get featured in an upcoming issue of Living Out!

1. Lindenhurst HS GSA in the “Know Your [Sexual] Rights” workshop; 2. Harborfields HS GSA enjoying some downtime; 3. Syosset HS GSA showing their pride; 4. Classrooms were packed for most workshops, including “Seeing Ourselves Out: LGBT Visibility in American Film;” 5. Attendees chose from 22 educational and community building workshops. Read the recap: livingoutli.org

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>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

be scene

Bethpage Affinity Program: Good for You, Good for GLBT. Direct Deposit Ask about a special offer when you sign up for direct deposit to a Bethpage Checking Account. You can also get co-branded checks!

Dozens of GLBT and allied professionals came to a mixer at The Center at Garden City for an evening of networking, cocktails, and refreshments. This free event provided a fun and exciting way to meet new people while supporting the programming of The Long Island GLBT Services Network.

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professionals networking event with the long island glbt services network March 13th at the center at garden city

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LIVING OUT BFCU416_Affinity_4.314x11.25.indd 1

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3/25/13 4:08 PM

Out front

P

am Grier, arguably one of the most influential women in the history of the entertainment industry, has always strived to be a being of change and progression.

While growing up, Pam never looked to one role model in particular. Instead, she noted that her role models were her entire family because they had to survive the challenges of the Jim Crow era.

“I received my teachings of acceptance and inclusion from rural, urban, and military environments,” Pam reminisced, “My grandfather in Wyoming—we are part of a firstnation, African American, black West Underground Railroad culture that are tolerant and accepting.”

a living out exclusive

Pam Grier:

The Importance of Discourse The Foxy Ally on Feminism and the GLBT Community by meryl lumba

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The great leaders present in her life inspired her to be an ever-vigilant ally to the GLBT community, and her experiences across the world helped shape her viewpoints. The North Carolina native moved frequently across the United States and in England due to her father’s military career. In Europe, after World War II, she was part of the post world re-construction and found that there was less exclusion.

Back home, she was part of many of the marches in the Civil Rights movement.

Eventually settling in Denver, Colo., Pam tried to raise money for her college tuition through participating in beauty contests.

“Gloria Steinem later became one of my mentors for the early movement of feminism. She put me on the cover of Ms. Magazine,” Pam shared.

In 1969, Pam moved to Los Angeles to work as a receptionist at the American International Pictures (AIP) Company. It was here that AIP soon changed her life, as she was hired by a director named Jack Hill, who cast Pam in her debut role, The Big Doll House.

Pam soon became a familiar face in 1970 blaxploitation movies, and is perhaps best known for her film career because she portrayed assertive women.

“My grandfather was the first feminist I knew. If you were pressured by the community as an independent, you could really soar,” Pam shared. “He said that’s why we’re out here and if anyone says anything different, they can answer to me.”

Though she has received criticisms for her acting career in the ’70s, Pam remarked that she is proud of uncovering male entities of their abuse and aggression toward women, believing that she never portrayed negative, black stereotypes.

“When I step into men’s shoes and do exactly what they did, they didn’t like it. Men are conservative,” Pam asserted, “Fifteen movies were made by black males who abused women, who showed negative images, but you didn’t say anything about them until I filled those shoes.”

Pam believes that her roles allowed for a balance and discourse, making people confront all the societal issues that have been ignored and dismissed. She further argued that there have been movies in recent film history that have been more vile, hypocritical, abusive, and racist than hers.

“I stepped up and said, ‘no, this is what women should do,’” Pam proudly stated. “I was constantly being attacked by a patriarchal society.

Gloria Steinem said women have the right to be pretty! We don’t need to be married to be validated. You’re not pushing us around anymore.”

Perhaps the most arguably feminist piece Pam starred in, and is best known for, was Foxy Brown, which she believes best brought hypocrisy to light. Happy that these movies were outgrossing Godfather, Pam refuted that though her critics were entitled to their own thoughts, her work forced people to question their role in society.

“I wanted to be Tomb Raider, like Angelina Jolie, and I didn’t even get that far! I had to strap on a dress that broke and showed a nipple!

And everyone was like ‘oh my god!’”

Pam laughed.

Today, Pam applauds actresses participating in nude scenes while being part of major films because, as she believes, they are not afraid of being female or that men will feel like they own them.

While Pam’s career launched, she faced many private struggles, which is now addressed in her memoir Foxy: My Life in Three Acts.

The book shares many personal struggles and turmoil and is an inspirational story of friends and support to help Pam not be a victim of abuse or illness.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Out front

pam’s role in showtime’s l word as an ally to the glbt community reignited her activism (upper left); quentin tarantino took two years to create jackie brown for pam (left); coffy (above) was noted as the “godmother” of them all.

Boldly in charge of her life, Pam believes she is a character actor that is not affected by the star system. She took time off the screen to study her craft of theater, reminiscing on some major accomplishments.

“When the late August Wilson approved me to play in The Piano Lesson, I was thrilled—and when Sam Shepard was thrilled at my performance in Fool for Love—I knew then I made the right decision—to explore the psychology of men and women.”

Pam added that it was also a humbling experience to have her work recognized

When it comes to her career, Pam is also no stranger to the GLBT community. Looking back on a memory of her grandfather, Pam shared that he stated when there were gay people in a tribe, they were called “two-spirited people” and tribes would want as many in the community as possible.

Pam admitted that she became part of the L Word to learn more about the GLBT community by partaking in a role that could teach her firsthand. She paralleled the experiences of the GLBT community with that of her own. Pam shared that she and her mother had to walk miles because the bus would not

i don't have a gaydar. people are people. no one has control over love.

by Quentin Tarantino, who took two years out of his own career to write Jackie Brown for her.

“That was a level of private accomplishment where you wonder… I was given so much. I didn’t have filters to shut out the best things in life that I can share with people,” Pam admitted. “I was fighting the abuse and cancer—it’s an everyday struggle, and then along came Quentin Tarantino writing Jackie Brown, and I knew that I had survived it all because of him.”

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

stop, even when empty, just because of the color of their skin.

“I learned firsthand. The [GLBT community’s] stories were so compelling about injustices—and also about women of color!” Pam exclaimed. “We understand the injustices. For me, this experience was heartfelt. I needed to do it.”

She also reflected that she needed her fans to understand the GLBT community and be aware of their presence.

“I don’t have gaydar. People are people,”

I have received letters from GLBT community members saying they were kicked out, and then there are others whose families were not afraid of them anymore – because of me.

Pam added, “Whom someone chooses to love and be attracted to is a power unknown and no one has control over that.”

Knowing that her work has brought about discourse and dialogue, Pam urges society to continue taking a closer look at bringing communities together and seeing why they have not moved forward.

“I’ve received letters from GLBT community members saying they were kicked out,” Pam shared, “and then there are others whose families weren’t afraid of them anymore—because of me. They realized they missed out on family members who they could’ve shared a great life with.”

Outside of film, Pam is known for her outspoken activism, especially in ending HIV/AIDS. Pam is now approaching her third year as a spokesperson for Dining Out for Life, an international event that raises critical funds to help the victims of HIV/ AIDS and fight the epidemic. Due to a troubled economy, many people are opting not to dine out at participating restaurants to support the event.

For Pam, the answer to this is simple: “HIV is still a part of society at large and the GLBT community, and spending twenty dollars on a meal for a good cause or giving any amount possible to organizations like Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) and The Long Island GLBT Community Center brings comfort and safety to others.”

munity and that’s what Dining Out for Life and organizations like LIGALY and The Long Island GLBT Community Center are. You can’t survive without food and you can’t survive without groups like LIGALY and The Center! It’s the sustenance of humanity,” Pam remarked, “If you’re able to go to dinner, have a conversation on building and healing.”

Looking forward, Pam hopes to continue being out in the media in order to help GLBT people gain more equality and footing in the civil rights ground. She also urged that society needs the youth in order to be smarter and fit with other people. Through incremental exposure and discourse, Pam believes that people will question their fear toward the GLBT community, and be able to shed their misconceptions.

“I hope that I’m still alive to see this: a gay Hispanic or Asian President— who’s female! That’s the ultimate wish and gift,” Pam exclaimed.

Pam’s fans should look forward to seeing her on the big screen once again as she is shooting two films now in London and Toronto, respectively, and is working with Olympia Dukakis for one of them. All in all, it seems that this Foxy ally’s stardom is far from finished, and is expected to continue fighting for both feminist issues and GLBT issues through her work.

“I like being part of a healing com-

LIVING OUT

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Out front

Ted Talks Ted Allen dishes on his colleagues at the Food Network and what it means to be a prominent gay figure in media today.

Few people tuning into the Food Network are unable to recognize Ted Allen, the popular television personality, Emmy Award winner, and host of Chopped. This gay celebrity was a judge on Bravo’s Top Chef but gained notoriety for his role in the 2003 series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy as a food and wine specialist. This exposure helped him gain the visibility he needed to launch his career and make his mark on the GLBT community as an out and proud celebrity.

His first role, while positive for Ted’s career, came with its share of challenges. Queer Eye received much disapproval from critics and viewers alike for playing into stereotypes about the gay community. In response, Ted simply stated that he thought they were completely wrong, arguing that the five cast members were not acting or filling roles, but rather, just being themselves.

“The fact is, it would be stupid to argue that there are not lots of gay men who are not interested in fashion, grooming, interior design, and food and culture—that is a fact—in some measure, because those fields have been kind to us,” Ted continued, “A lot of gay men felt that was a place to channel their creativity.”

To Ted, Queer Eye allowed five experts to use their skills to improve the lives of straight men. He admitted that perhaps the show was successful mostly because it explored the tensions between gay men and straight men.

This American food connoisseur did not always foresee a career in media or television for himself. Ted first began as a psychology major in his undergraduate work and later decided to pursue a career in journalism, inspired by his love of National Public Radio.

“The show never claimed to be a piece of activism, but there was something profound about seeing the five of us genuinely care about this guy and his future,” Ted then laughed, “Those critics—they’re a lot of people talking and not all of them are right.”

“NPR is one of the very few places on the radio dial that you actually get long-form, high-quality journalism with a generous attitude and stories that other people don’t tell,” he shared.

While the show ended in 2007, Ted shared that he still keeps in touch with the other cast members, and they plan on celebrating the 10th anniversary of Queer Eye’s launch this July.

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Since then, Ted has published many works that are of the high-quality he admires: one article, a feature on male breast cancer that was published in Esquire, was a finalist for a National Magazine Award. Today, he is still a current contributor for Esquire and has

published a hit book, The Food You Want to Eat: 100 Smart, Simple Recipes.

As the host of Chopped, one of Food Network’s most viewed shows, Ted shines as a fun foodie who sometimes helps the judges make difficult decisions in selecting the episode’s winner and not only awarding them a coveted title, but a $10,000 prize.

“It’s a privilege to be a prominent gay figure in the media […] Growing up, my role models were rock stars,” he laughed, “What I really wanted to be was the lead singer of Aerosmith, but it’s a little late for that.”

Ted admitted that he came out at what he perceives to be a later age than the youth are doing today. “I was 26

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Out front

2 1 3 1 ted’s book, in my kitchen, available for $35 on Amazon; 2 the cast of queer eye for the straight guy; 3 ted presides over scrambling chefs and secret ingredients on food network’s chopped.

when I came out,” Ted paused then laughed, “The first person I came out to is my friend Kate, largely because I foolishly had a date with her, and she deserved an explanation.”

Ted noted that growing up in the late ’70s and early ’80s in the West was difficult for GLBT youth because there were no role models for them and that the only images of gay people were the people at the Street Fair in San Francisco, a demographic in which he felt he did not fit in with.

Thankful that things are different today, Ted shared he is happy to see GSAs in high schools that are run by mentors or teachers who sometimes are gay themselves. Ted says that being able to be a gay role model in the media for today’s youth is an honor and hopes more celebrities will continue to come out as GLBT or in support.

“It’s great to see out gay people on television… to outsiders, it might sound unimportant, but ask anyone in the African American community what it means to have representation in movies and television, and they’ll say the same thing,” Ted remarked.

Ted admitted that what gay kids see both in the media and in society matters a lot to him, noting that GLBT youth have been oppressed for decades.

“They have been told by churches, the media, and Republican congressmen that they are less than others and that their relationships aren’t real and that they’re going to hell,” he argued.

Something important and inspiring for Ted is the fight against HIV/AIDS, and he is currently embarking on his sixth year as a spokesperson for the Dining Out for Life international fundraising event. He noted that HIV infections are once again on the rise, particularly among

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

young gay men, and Ted noted young gay men today have grown up in an era without seeing this disease.

Ted acknowledges the importance of local organizations getting involved with projects like Dining Out for Life and other life-changing programs to combat HIV/ AIDS. Organizations like The Long Island GLBT Community Center offer free and confidential testing, support, and outreach to help end the spread of HIV and educate youth about safer sex.

Ted also believes that in recent years, AIDS has changed from what was perceived as exclusively a white, gay male disease to one that is more affecting women of color, which means a very important shift in the services provided. Again, Ted’s worry about what GLBT youth are seeing surfaces.

“You look in some magazines, and you see young, hunky guys climbing mountains—even though they’re HIV positive—[and it] sends the wrong message,” he argued. “This new generation of young, gay men who think they can have unprotected sex is another population that needs to be reached. The AIDS crisis is not over.”

He also believes that the restaurant industry, in addition to chefs and restaurant owners, are always the first place to turn to when trying to raise money for the community due to their giving nature. Ted remarked that their generosity is just part of the culture of the restaurant industry.

Ted shared that he still finds his impact on Dining Out for Life both humbling and exciting: “All I have to do is show up, and I encourage other people to show up— and I’m just a small figure in the scheme of things!”

Viewers can expect Ted to return to Chopped, hosting the All-Star season starting on April 7.

Living Out Asked Ted...

What was the craziest ingredient on Iron Chef?

The owner of Cleo restaurant served the brain of the pigeon in the head of the pigeon, cut perfectly in half, beak and all. It was a fairly arresting thing to see on a plate.

What would you cook for a romantic dinner?

Go fancy with a rack of lamb and whipped potatoes, or add a little fun by making fried chicken and serving champagne.

What’s your advice for learning to cook?

Start out with recipes that you think you can tackle. It doesn’t have to be pretentious.

Something comforting and homey, like a pot pie. Then take on more ambitious dishes.

Keep an eye on our Facebook page to see what Ted said about his Food Network colleagues!

LIVING OUT

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living healthy parenting

ask

by laurie segal, lcsw

teaming up to tackle negative behavior Children may be tired, frustrated, jealous, angry, sad, or a combination of many other emotions when they act out. It is important to understand that when children throw a tantrum, it is not simply to be manipulative. Acting out happens to children of all ages, from the adolescent who colors her hair blue, to the 4-year-old who picks on his little sister.

Read more of Laurie’s tips. Visit livingoutli. org

1

When establishing rules around the house, begin with a plan. Preparation is truly the best method for increasing a family’s ability to handle a situation effectively.

Do not try to “wing” it because you will not cover all the bases essential for success.

wellness

2

Do not try to change everything all at once.

Pick the top areas of concern and begin there. For example: “There is too much hitting and screaming in the house.” Sit down with children during a calm time and discuss the plan.

3

Parent(s)/caregivers must develop a “united front.” They need to discuss and agree to the terms of the arrangements. This is crucial because if parents/caregivers send mixed messages, children will be confused and act out or misbehave.

4

Acknowledge children’s feelings of discontent. Explain that the way the family was handling these issues wasn’t working and was causing more yelling, screaming, and hurt feelings. Tell them change may be hard at first, but things will be better in the long run.

5

Be consistent.

Remember that children are like mice learning a maze. The more you move the cheese around, meaning, the more times parents/caregivers are inconsistent, the longer it’ll take for children to learn.

laurie

Dear Laurie, I’m worried that my 17-year-old gay son might be seeing much older men. I have heard him talking to friends on the phone about men in their 30s and 40s.

I can’t help but feel like I should intervene, but he will soon be 18 and I want to treat him like an adult. What should I do? —Worried Mom Dear Worried Mom, While I can appreciate your concern, you are correct that you are walking a tricky line. If you intervene too strongly, you will possibly alienate your son. On the other hand, you want to make sure he is safe, informed, and not overwhelmed.

I would recommend the following: • Open up a dialogue. Talking is always better than silence. It also conveys you are open to having a discussion.

• Let him know you are aware he is at an age in which he is capable of making his own decisions.

• See if he is willing to share anything with you about the relationship.

• Don’t pry. I know this a tough one.

• Tell him you are open-minded and are interested in his happiness and safety.

• Ask if he has any concerns he wants to share.

• Remind him you are there for him and spending time with someone older may present a new set of pressures. Try to let him identify the pressure. If he asks what kind of pressures, you have an opening. You can talk about your worries that the relationship may not be on equal footing. Address the fact that they may have different interests and priorities.

If the first go round doesn’t go well, wait a day or two and give it another shot. Staying with it will let your son know that although the topic is a difficult one, you’re willing to work at it.

Good luck! —Laurie send your questions to asklaurie@livingoutli.org

by dr. bill blazey

alcoholism in the glbt community understanding and treatment The reasons* 1

Many gay and transgender people live with a high level of stress that comes from social prejudice and discriminatory laws in areas of daily life such as employment, relationship recognition, and health care.

A lack of cultural competency in the health care system 2 discourages gay and transgender people from seeking treatment for substance abuse, and—if they do seek help— often leads to inappropriate or irrelevant services.

Targeted marketing efforts by alcohol and tobacco 3 companies exploit the connection many gay and transgender people have to inclusive bars and clubs as safe spaces for socializing and increase easy access to tobacco products as well as alcohol.

The stats* 20 to 30 percent of GLBT people abuse substances, compared to about 9 percent of the general population.

25 percent of glbt people abuse alcohol, higher than the average of 5 to 10 percent of the general population.

A glass of wine with dinner or a beer with friends at the end of the week is a normal activity for many people.

However, the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence reports that 18 million Americans suffer from alcoholism and that people in the GLBT community may have a higher risk for developing this disease. The abuse of alcohol leads to physical, mental, financial and social problems that can impact more than the alcoholic.

get help. Alcoholics that are forced or pressured into treatment rarely succeed in the long term. The next step is to make sure that when you stop drinking that it is done safely.

Symptoms of alcohol withdrawal can include irritability, tremors (the shakes), hallucinations, and seizures. There are options for treatment to prevent withdrawal symptoms that your doctor can prescribe or it can be done in a hospital setting which is often known as detoxification treatment.

In the CAGE questionnaire, four simple questions can often help find if someone is having a problem with their alcohol use. Have you ever felt that you should cut down on your drinking?

Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking? Have you ever felt guilty about your drinking habits? Do you ever need an eye-opener in the morning to steady your nerves? If you answer yes to any of the questions, then you see your health care provider to discuss additional tests for alcoholism and treatment options.

Following the detoxification procession, commonly known as ‘detox’, the next priority is to prevent a relapse of drinking. Rehabilitation programs, also known as ‘rehab’, help teach the alcoholic how to stay sober and resist urges to drink. There are many forms of rehabilitation programs and your medical team can help you find one that works for you. They even include outpatient facilities that may allow for you to continue to work or go to school during treatment.

The first and most important step in treating alcoholism is to personally want to

There are medications that your health care provider can prescribe to you to decrease relapses. The medications are not a ‘magic pill’ but can assist with keeping you sober by deterring you from drinking or decreasing cravings.

Your doctor will also want to evaluate you for underlying

William R. Blazey, D.O. is an assistant professor of Family Medicine at NYIT’s College of Osteopathic Medicine.

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mental illnesses such as depression or bipolar disorder.

Long term support groups are probably the most important step in maintaining sobriety. Research has shown that participating in a support group combined with treatment is more effective than completing treatment alone. It is important to remember that alcoholism is a life-long disease so support groups will help you maintain your sobriety after your treatment program ends. Support groups are not only for the alcoholic person, but are very important for family members as well.

Alcoholism is probably one of the most difficult diseases to treat, but the consequences to your overall health (physical and social) are too high not to get help. The first step in recovery is getting help, so talk with your doctor or check out the services at The Long Island GLBT Community Center for support.

get help find glbt-affirming support groups and resources today. visit liglbtcenter.org.

*Information from Center for American Progress’ 2013 brief, “Why the Gay and Transgender Population Experiences Higher Rates of Substance Use.”

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living smart

BRILLIANT

finance

Utilize the Equity in your home Perhaps you would like to build a dream kitchen or add a new room. Maybe your goal is to manage debt and would like to consolidate high interest credit card and loan debt or have a big expense to pay like a child’s college tuition. A Home Equity loan or line of credit can be your answer.

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A home equity is a second lien against your home. Home equity loan (HEL) and Home equity lines of credit (HELOC) are an excellent way to utilize the equity in your home to get something major done. Regardless of the purpose, HELs and HELOCs can sometimes make the most sense when tackling a big project, especially when the interest rates are lower than conventional consumer loans.

HOME EQUITY LINE OF CREDIT

1.99%

Home equity loans (HEL) are generally a fixed rate product with terms of five to thirty years where the homeowner will begin immediately the loan immediately with both interest and principle. The Home Equity loan is most useful when you have a specific project as it gives the borrower all of the funds up front.

Home equity line of credit (HELOC) works differently than a home equity loan. It’s a revolving line that has a variable rate, similar to a credit card, with a maximum limit to spend. The borrower can draw down the amounts they want as needed.

Accessing the funds is easy as many lenders provide checks, electronic account transfers and in some cases a debit card to use the line. It’s best used for a project where the costs may be unknown or college tuition. You only pay interest during the draw period, typically 10 years, then the line is closed and the balance remaining becomes a loan up to 20 years with monthly payments being both principal and interest.

APR*

for 2 years

Prime for life, thereafter Consolidate your credit card debt, renovate your home or pay for college – and more!

How much can you borrow?

The market value of your home less any mortgage balance is the equity amount available to borrow. As an example, if your house is worth $400,000 and the mortgage balance is $200,000, there is $200,000 in equity available. Lenders typically lend up to 80 percent of the newly appraised value of the residence (called loan-to-value ratio or LTV). If your home is worth $400,000, 80 percent is $320,000, less the mortgage of $200,000 leaves an additional amount available to borrow of $120,000.

The Application Process Similar to the first mortgage process, most banks will appraise the property and run a credit check to make sure the borrower has the income to afford monthly payments. The major difference is that the time to close is typically 10-15 days vs.

60 days or more. Also the closing costs on home equity loans and lines of credit are often paid by the lender.

Get in on the savings.

Apply at lovebethpage.com, your local Bethpage branch or call 800-628-7070.

Federally insured

by NCUA.

How can you determine what the current market value is?

To get an estimate, the easiest option is to plug your data into a home value calculator, available on many real estate websites. During the loan process, an official appraisal of the home is completed to obtain the exact value of your home. The following variables are considered determine the value of your home during the appraisal: Square footage; Construction quality, design, and floor plan; Neighborhood; Access to transportation, shopping, and schools; Lot size, topography, view, and landscaping.

Take your time to understand the differences in products offered and make sure it is what you need before acting. Speaking with a lending professional can help you decide whether a home equity loan or line of credit best suits your needs.

*APR = Annual Percentage Rate. Rates and terms accurate as of 02/24/2013 and are subject to change without notice. All offers of credit are subject to credit approval; applicants may be offered credit at higher rates and other terms. Hazard Insurance is required on all loans secured by real property; flood insurance may also be required. HELOCs up to $500,000 are available in NY. For properties located in other states, the maximum HELOC is $250,000 at 70%, except AZ, CA, FL, NV and MI, where LTV = 60%. Home Equities not offered in TX. No closing costs on new HELOCs up to $500,000 by members. Closing costs paid by Bethpage must be repaid by the borrower(s) if line is closed within first 36 months. HELOC is a variable rate product with a maximum APR of 18%. The introductory rate is 1.99% APR for members who take an initial draw of $25,000, maintain this balance for one (1) year, and have automatic transfers from a Bethpage checking account for the monthly payment on the account. The rate after the introductory period is prime, currently 3.25%. Members who do not take the initial draw of $25,000 at closing will not be eligible for the intro rate and will be charged prime, currently 3.25% from day one. New accounts only. A fee applies to members who would like to modify the rate of their Bethpage Home Equity. Additional conditions may apply to qualify for the rate modification. The introductory rate is a one-time offer, and members do not have the option to extend the introductory rate after the initial 24-month period by paying an additional fee. Properties that have sustained damage from Hurricane Sandy with “as is” value and loan to value of between 81% and 90% do not qualify for the 1.99% intro rate. “As is” loan to value is described as the loan to value based on the initial appraisal of the property without the repairs being completed. Consult your tax advisor regarding deductibility of interest. Prime rate as of 02/24/2013 = 3.25%. Membership conditions apply. $5.00 minimum share account required.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

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3/22/13 4:04 PM

living smart get social

by meryl lumba

DIY: 5 Tips on Bringing the Nightlife to You Serve This!

1. Drinks

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Having an open bar at your place is great, but if you don’t want to spend too much, having guests “bring their own drink” (BYOD) is not a problem! Just make sure you have some mixers like juices and soda.

2. Food

3. Music

4. Invites

5. Campy Theme

Who says bar food can only be found at a bar? If a casual party with friends is on the radar, order a tray of buffalo wings. Something fancier?

Prepare some appetizers. Be conscientious of your guests’ diets and keep options varied.

Cherry Blossomtini • 2 1/4 parts Sake • 3/4 part Cointreau® orange liqueur • 3/4 part cranberry juice • 1/4 part fresh lime juice • 2 dashes orange bitters

Picking the music is simple. Gone are the days of cassettes, so fire up some speakers and let Pandora pick the music for you, or create a Spotify online playlist to get dancing.

Create some campy invites by hand, order them We can’t help it, but we love them. A theme from a printer, or send everyone a message where everyone is dressed as, say, characters online: a real invitation lets your guests know from Rocky Horror, will make for a fun-filled Indigo_Living Out_halfpage_v2_NO BLEED.pdf 1 1/22/13 3:35 PM that this isn’tHotel just any house party, and it’ll help evening, particularly if guests enjoy one too you plan how much food or drinks you’ll need. many cocktails.

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Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.

Shake well.

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

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LIVING OUT

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beauty & fashion

by matthew ambrosio

living smart

It’s time to welcome summer style and say goodbye to our winter attire. During the sun-filled season, we tend to become a bit lax when it comes to dress codes. The parties are on, but the clothes aren’t. Style and comfort can be easily achieved with little effort.

Unless you’re at the beach, summer style is not always about shorts and t-shirts. Summer is the time to meet new people and embrace the nightlife, so what better reason do we need to step up our style game and be fashionable?

For Men Dress pants and shorts made of lightweight cotton or linen will create a stylish yet comfortable and breathable base to your look. Depending on your personality and character, you may wish to keep it classic by dressing in traditional beige, tan, or black. If you’re looking to make a statement, try oranges, rich blues, or bold reds.

Try an Apolis Blazer ($240) in any color with some dark denim jeans and a plaid shirt for an easy yet classy look.

Tops will make or break your outfit. I highly suggest wearing a collared shirt to dress up your look as opposed to a plain t-shirt. Summer polos and button down shirts made of light cotton are perfect.

Blazers are big this summer. The fitted retro look is back in the form of traditional styles and bold colors. You can choose styles that have edgy collars and trimmings or something more simple and traditional. A blazer is your secret weapon to dressing up a good pair of skinny jeans.

For Women Think bright colors and details. Short dresses are great for comfort, and can be worn during the day with sandals or formalized with heels.

Lightweight summer dresses in soft yellows, mint greens, and pale oranges radiate a fun and flirty attitude.

Sundresses are available in almost every department store come April: pick up a yellow one and then pick up some sunshine.

If you crave something more edgy and fashion forward, then try an illusion dress (right). It’s a short dress inside with a sheer fabric overlay, giving a sophisticated look.

If it’s formal you require, fitted cocktail dresses will create a chic and classy expression. Designer and boutique owner, Eva Pappas, has advice for women with fuller shapes: “My top formal pick for the girl with curves is a light and comfortable dress made of a stretchy fabric called Bodycon, which supports and holds you in while showing off your shape.”

When all fails,

Who can you turn to?

Pasternack Tilker Ziegler Walsh Stanton & Romano LLP

Attorneys At Law

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1/23/2013 4:30:22 PM

living smart travel

by joey amato

out destination: st. louis St. Louis, commonly referred to as “The Gateway to the West” is home to some of the country’s most recognizable corporations including Enterprise Rent-ACar, Edward Jones Investments Energizer, and of course, the city’s most popular company, Anheuser-Busch. The city is also home to three professional sports teams: The St. Louis Cardinals, Blues, and Rams and is one of the GLBT capitals of the mid-west.

Visitors arriving to St. Louis should take note of the MetroLink. The train system has two routes, is easy to navigate, and is an inexpensive way to travel throughout the city. MetroLink connects Lambert-St. Louis International Airport to downtown as well as a host of other neighborhoods worth visiting including my personal favorite, Forest Park.

Forest Park is one of the largest urban parks in the United States. At 1,371 acres, it is approximately 500 acres larger than Central Park in New York City. Forest Park is home to the Art Museum, Science Center, Zoo, Jewel Box Greenhouse, and History Museum as well as a 7.5-mile biking, jogging and skating path. Most of these attractions are free of charge.

The St. Louis Zoo is home to 655 species of animals, many of them rare and endangered. Catch a glimpse of the cheetah, African black elephant, lion, and penguin habitats while enjoying a leisurely day with friends and family. Later this year, the zoo will open Sea Lion Sound, combining a spacious new sea lion habitat with the zoo’s popular Sea Lion Show.

A brisk walk through Forest Park will lead you to another great attraction: the St.

Louis Art Museum. The museum is among the nation’s leading comprehensive art museums with collections that include works of art throughout history. Most notable are the Chinese, pre-Columbian and 19th & 20th Century Masters galleries. The museum building itself is an architectural masterpiece and a highlight of the park.

St. Louis’ most recognizable icon is without a doubt, The Gateway Arch, the centerpiece of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in downtown St. Louis.

The arch was completed in 1965 and at 630 feet, the stainless steel structure is the tallest manmade monument in the country. The view from the top is a site that should not be missed.

Don’t forget your camera!

After a day of history and culture, head to the Central West End neighborhood, a gay-friendly destination, with numerous sidewalk cafes, small boutiques, and antique stores. The Cathedral Basilica of Saint Louis is also located in this neighborhood and houses the world’s largest collection of mosaic art. The cathedral, designated a basilica in 1997, was built between 1907 and 1909 and is one of St. Louis’ main attractions.

Those looking to stay close to GLBT nightlife should check in at The Cheshire, a boutique hotel reminiscent of a traditional British inn. The hotel contains beautifully appointed rooms with luxury linens, deep soaking whirlpool tubs, and complimentary tea service. The Cheshire truly transports visitors to the English countryside and for

a while, you forget you’re in St. Louis. For a quick snack, stop by Fox & Hounds Tavern and sample traditional British fare.

Most of St. Louis’ GLBT culture is centered around The Grove, a growing business and entertainment district along Manchester Avenue about a five minute taxi ride from the hotel. The Grove is home to a variety of independently-owned restaurants, nightlife options, and retail shops.

Stop by Atomic Cowboy for some Mexican cuisine such as shredded pork tacos, fish tacos, or buffalo chicken sliders or head to The Bad Dog Bar & Grill to mingle with the leather and bear crowd and enjoy happy hour cocktails and traditional American fare. Ladies should make an effort to go to Novak’s, which is regularly voted one of the top lesbian bars in St. Louis. The vibrant bar and grill features weekly karaoke nights and a regular lineup of live entertainment.

Gays looking to party St. Louis-style should head to Just John Nightclub located in the heart of Manchester Avenue. Just John offers an upscale environment with hightech lighting, premium sound, flat-screen

TVs, private tables, and the friendliest staff in town. The focal point of Just John is The Florida Room, an indoor/outdoor area that features a fireplace,and lots of windows overlooking the patio area. While at Just John, find Andy and ask him to pour his signature Pineapple Upside-down Cake.

One of the “coolest spots” to visit in The Grove is Erney’s 32 Degrees. The bar features a large, walk-in Vodka Box—a glass-enclosed freezer, which people can gather in to sample dozens of vodkas from around the world.

A highlight of St. Louis’s GLBT scene is the Gateway Men’s Chorus. The GMC was formed in 1988 with 22 singers and has since grown to encompass approximately 80 talented men, making them one of the most successful male choral arts organizations in the country. St. Louis is also home to numerous gay sports leagues, non-profit organizations, and cultural groups, making the city a must-see “out destination.”

For more information: www.explorestlouis.com

OUT Destinations is part of OUTreach Public Relations, a company specializing in LGBT marketing. Founded by Joey Amato, OUTreach PR has quickly become one of the most soughtafter companies for firms looking to target the ever-growing and affluent LGBT consumer. For more information, please visit www.outreachpublicrelations.com.

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auto review

living smart

by robert vitelli

2013 Subaru Outback 3.6R Thoughts of the Subaru brand previously conjured up thoughts of the outdoors, snow, and a diet exclusive to vegetables, fruit, and protein supplements. Truth be told, after 5 days and 300 miles in a 2013 Subaru Outback 3.6R, my association of the Subaru brand expanded significantly.

The interior is sleek with great attention to detail.

Folding seats make this a spacious family-friendly vehicle. symmetrical all-wheel drive helps you handle all weather.

Standard Equipment & Pricing

Safety & Technology

Driving & Performance

Around Town

There is an Outback for every budget.

The budget-pleasing 2.5i base trim starts at $23,495 with a myriad of standard features including Subaru’s signature Symmetrical All Wheel Drive system (the latest iteration of Subaru’s system first introduced in 1972).

EyeSight is Subaru’s new array of active safety features. Using two interior roof mounted radars, EyeSight includes adaptive cruise control that will maintain a preset distance with the car in front of you.

The system works imperceptivity, changing your vehicle speed as needed. It is simple to use with steering wheel buttons to select three distance pre-sets.

There is an ample reserve of power from Subaru’s 3.6-liter 6-cylinder Boxer engine, denoting the cylinders’ flat arrangement, just like in a Porsche. Its modest 256 horsepower and 247 lb.-ft. of torque ratings do not communicate this engine’s power density that provides excellent offthe-line verve as well as an eye-opening top end.

I drove the Outback into Manhattan one night where it deftly handled the smaller streets of the Lower East Side with ease, and made a return trip in light snow a cinch. In fact, this is where the Outback is in its element with standard all wheel drive.

EyeSight also keeps you safe with Lane Departure Warning, providing a helpful alarm tone and flashing dashboard light to let you know your vehicle has started to travel into the next lane. The system works well, without being overly sensitive, and you can deactivate it with the push of a button.

The engine is prudent around town with a low muted rumble. Stand on it, though, and the Boxer flat-6 engine rewards with a surge all the way to redline, moving the big Subie in a hurry with a refined and exotic mechanical whir that is downright addictive. The standard 5-speed automatic transmission is a willing partner when you want to dance, delivering smooth shifts under all throttle inputs.

My tester was the top of the line and fully optioned Outback 3.6R with sunroof, navigation, and new-for-2013 EyeSight active safety system, for a total of $36,845 including destination.

Style, Space, & Size Upon delivery of the dark charcoal gray Outback from Donaldsons Subaru in Sayville, I noticed that this vehicle is not small. This car has grown enough to merit designation as a crossover utility vehicle (CUV) offering ample room for front and rear passengers, and vast cargo room comparable to a Honda CR-V and Toyota Venza, but more than a Nissan Murano.

It’s a handsome vehicle whose profile comes across more as a tall sport wagon than a CUV. Inside, black leather, wood trim, and silver accents on the dash provide a welcoming space to spend time and communicate a sense of luxury. The steering wheel is thick, the gauges are clear, and all the buttons are clearly labeled within reach and easy to use. Visibility is excellent.

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Another EyeSight feature is a type of forward-collision mitigation. The system will apply the brakes if the radars sense an impending collision, and in some cases, stop the car altogether. Upon a lane change in rush hour traffic on the Long Island Expressway, the system gently activated the brakes because the car in front of me quickly slowed. I was surprised, but grateful, and appreciated its smooth nature – it was like an invisible hand nudged the car back.

The touchscreen navigation was helpful and easy to use. The steering wheel controls allow for quick voice inputs. The navigation system’s standard voice prompt guides are clear, informing you of when to turn well in advance, and with clarity.

The Outback belied its size and image on braking and handling, too. The brake pedal offers incremental stopping power and is easy to modulate. The Outback greets off-ramps and on-ramps willingly, tucking into corners with surprisingly flat cornering whereas many crossover vehicles can have a tendency to lean.

Lane changes, especially quick ones, were greeted with a flat and sure-footed confidence, yielding the feel of a car much smaller. The steering is another strong point with good on-center field with minimal corrections needed, offering a reassuring sense of the road and the car.

The Outback also passed the “mother-inlaw” test on a 45-mile drive in rush hour from Centereach to Rockville Centre.

Her thoughts? “Such a smooth ride, and there’s so much space. And it’s easy for me to get in and out of. I like it.”

And “liking it” is an understated sentiment among Subaru owners. One friend came over to compare his 2010 Outback and was sure to point out a bumper applique signaling this was his 6th Subaru. “I’ll never drive anything else.”

The Verdict: Take a test drive yourself!

My test drive of the Outback 3.6R revealed that it has broad appeal with up-to-date safety features, ample performance, and shakes stereotypes.

This Subaru Outback 3.6R is definitely more than just granola and tofu, unless you’re swigging it down with a Red Bull.

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points of view op-ed

by Reverend Irene Monroe

Mexico Sets the Tone on Hate Speech Homophobic epithets are so pervasive across the globe that most heterosexual people are sadly unaware of the psychological and physical toll they have on GLBT people.

Too often, and cavalierly, these epithets go either unchecked or unchallenged as hate speech.

Mexico, however, has stepped forward to define and reduce homophobic hate speech. Two commonly used words—”punal” and “maricones” are the main targets. Both words closely translate as “faggot.”

On March 6, in a vote of 3-2, Mexico’s Supreme Court ruled that these two homophobic, hateful slurs are not legally protected in the country’s constitution as freedom of speech. The Supreme Court further ruled that any citizen offended by these words now could seek redress by suing for moral damages.

“Even though they are deeply rooted expressions in Mexican society, the fact is that the practices of the majority of society can’t validate the violations of basic right,” the Court wrote in support of its ruling.

The GLBT communities across Mexico are, no doubt, ecstatic by the ruling, hoping it will engender more respect and consciousness of their struggle. But as most GLBT Latinos know, these two homophobic epithets are so frequently and easily espoused throughout Latin American culture that many are not cognizant of their deleterious effect.

For example, the Toronto Blue Jays shortstop, Yunel Escobar, was suspended last September for three games for wearing eye-black displaying a homophobic slur written in Spanish during a game against the Boston Red Sox. With the phrase “TU ERE MARICON” (sic) written in his eye-black, the phrase can be loosely translated as “you are a faggot” or “you’re a weak girl.”

weigh in

“It didn’t have significance to the way that’s being interpreted right now,” Escobar emphatically stated through a Spanish interpreter. “That’s not the significance that I put into it. That’s a word used often within teams. It’s a word without meaning, the way we use it.”

Escobar, a native of Cuba, contested that the phrase is taken out of context because the use in his culture is not intended to be offensive; it is merely used as banter in their friendly repartee.

“I have friends who are gay. The person who decorates my house is gay; the person who cuts my hair is gay. I have various friends who are gay. Honestly, they haven’t felt as offended about this. They have just a different understanding in the Latin community of this word,” Escobar stated, defending himself to the media.

While the word is no doubt homophobic, it does seemingly carry different cultural connotations throughout Latin America.

“To tell a man not to be a maricón, also means ‘don’t be a coward.’” Cuban homophobia differs from homophobia in the United States. We do not fear the homosexual; rather, we hold him in contempt for being a man who chooses not to prove his manhood.

Unlike North Americans, where two men engaged in a sexual act are both called homosexuals, for Cubans only the one that places himself in the “position” of a woman is the maricón. Only the one penetrated is labeled loca (crazy woman, a term for maricónes). In fact, the man who is in the dominant position during the sex act, known as bugarrón, is able to retain, if not increase, his machismo...” liberation theologian, Miguel De La Torre, wrote in his essay “Beyond Machismo: A Cuban Case Study.”

Language is a representation of culture and if a

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Toronto Blue Jays shortstop, Yunel Escobar

culture is unaware of, or anesthetized to, the destructive use of homophobic epithets, it re-inscribes and perpetuates ideas and assumptions about race, gender identity and sexual orientation. Consequently, these ideas and assumptions are transmitted from field houses to playing courts and into the dominant culture. And unfortunately, even accepted or explained away among some scholars.

“It is derogatory, but it’s not necessarily homophobic,” said Maria Cristina Cuervo, a professor of Spanish at the University of Toronto.

While Professor Cuervo agrees that the phrase is insulting, she does not grasp, however, that if the phrase “TU ERE MARICON” goes unchecked, or is not challenged, it allows people within their culture to become unconscious and numb to the use and abuse of the power and currency of this homophobic epithet—and the power it still has to thwart the daily struggles of many of us to ameliorate GLBT relations.

Also, part of the problem contributing to the unconscious insensitivity to the phrase is the cultural construction of “machismo.” In many Latin American cultures, it is perceived a gross failure in masculinity.

But this hyper-masculinity not only exploits women, but also unabashedly denigrates and targets GLBT people as scapegoats and pariahs.

Stephen O. Murray further points this out in his essay “Mexico” in the anthology The Politics of Sexuality in Latin America: A Readers of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights that “The perceived failures of masculinity of “maricónes” made (and makes) them “fair game” to be robbed, beaten, and used as sexual receptacles by males upholding conventional ‘macho’ notions of masculinity, particularly policemen.”

With landmark rulings made on behalf of GLBT citizens in many countries across the globe, violence, intolerance, and discrimination are still a constant.

For decades, activists have argued the relationship between hate speech and violence. Cleaning up language is just one more needed act furthering GLBT justice. And Mexico is leading the way.

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points of view trans-missions

by gwen smith

We Can Make It There The City Council of Phoenix, Arizona recently voted on a bill to add sexual orientation, as well as gender identity and expression, to the city’s existing anti-discrimination bill. The bill includes employment, housing, and public accommodations protections. Those who don’t comply would be subject to a misdemeanor and a $2,500 fine. Phoenix already provides protections based on sex, race, religion, age, national origin, and marital status.

Testimony before the vote dragged on for five hours, with more than 500 people packed into the Orpheum Theater to show their support or opposition to the bill. Religious leaders spoke out, gaining an exemption from the ordinance in the process.

As anyone who has watched the fight for transgender rights would expect, opposition to the bill dubbed it a “bathroom bill,” boldly claiming that this would somehow allow sexual predators to gain legal access to cross-gendered restrooms. One parent even brought this up during testimony, fearing for the safety of his children.

In the end, the bill passed with a vote of five to three.

Before I go much farther, I need to come clean here. My mother was born and raised in Arizona, so “zonie blood” does run through my veins. I have many wonderful, early memories of traveling through Phoenix, Prescott, Flagstaff, and other parts of the state. I have friends and family there.

In spite of that, I’ve watched Arizona—particularly Phoenix—gain a reputation for far-right governance. It’s become sort of an anti-Berkeley, if you will, in popular culture. While Phoenix—and all of Arizona—shares a diversity of viewpoints, I do feel it fair to characterize the city and state as being predominately conservative.

Controversy has surrounded Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, particularly in the wake of her signing the Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act (Arizona SB 1070).

This was an anti-immigration bill that is most notable for requiring state law enforcement to determine the legal status of individuals during a lawful stop, detention or arrest” at any time there is “reasonable suspicion” that said individual might be an illegal immigrant.

SB 1070 was argued all the way to the Supreme Court.

Likewise, “Sheriff Joe” Arpaio, the elected sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, has also been a lightning rod for controversies ranging from “birthers” to a class-action suit over racial profiling. Perhaps of most importance to this column is Arpaio’s insistence that prisoners in his jails be issued pink underwear as an attempt to emasculate and humiliate prisoners in his jails.

Yet, in a city so easily characterized as a bastion of conservative leadership, an anti-discrimination ordinance that covers the GLBT community can actually pass.

The passage was not without its challenges: aside from the sometimestense five hours of testimony I mentioned above, the bill has been kicking around the city council for about a decade. A similar ordinance from 1992 only covered those with city contracts and 35 employees.

If transgender rights can pass in Phoenix, Arizona—and have previously in Tucson, Arizona, Salt Lake City, Utah, and other cities one can very quickly consider “conservative”—then why can’t we pass such ordinances anywhere in this country?

If transgender rights can pass in Phoenix, Arizona, then why can’t we pass such ordinances anywhere in this country?

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In 2011, Massachusetts’ legislature passed the Transgender Rights and Hate Crimes Bill (House Bill 502).

Much like the fight in Phoenix, and many other places, this bill was characterized by its opponents as a “bathroom bill,” and the infamous “bathroom meme” argument that extending public accommodation rights to transgender people would open the restroom door to sexual predators was trotted out.

House Bill 502 also passed—but language protecting against discrimination in public accommodations was stripped out before passage, leaving out a key part of

the bill and failing transgender people in Massachusetts. Members of the Massachusetts transgender community are still fighting to get a public accommodations bill passed.

According to the Transgender Law & Policy Institute, 143 cities and counties have laws on the books prohibiting discrimination based on gender identity and expression. In addition, 16 states— and Washington, D.C.—have their own bills. There isn’t yet anything at the Federal level, as a transgender-inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) remains stalled and unpassed.

President Obama’s administration has added a lot of transgender support into the EEOC, HUD, and other relevant departments, but has still refused to sign an executive order to give ENDA-like protections to Federal workers.

I often speak out about the “bathroom meme” and the need for our community to defeat it. Yet in Phoenix, Arizona the meme was broken. All the same tactics that were used in Massachusetts and elsewhere failed—and, again, an otherwise conservative state has passed an inclusive GLBT anti-discrimination ordinance.

GLBT activists in Arizona fought long and hard for this, but showed that you can win. Their success—even with a potentially questionable, religious exception in place—should be a further call to action for our community to move forward and fight.

Indeed, this victory should serve as a lesson for Massachusetts as they struggle to pass a public accommodations bill. More than this, it should serve to bolster fights elsewhere for transgender anti-discrimination bills, as well as start new anti-discrimination rights struggles. To paraphrase Sinatra, if we can make it there, we can make it anywhere.

About the Author

Gwen Smith is really tired of “potty politics.” You can find her on the web at www.gwensmith.com.

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musings

by andy stern

out spoken

Prescription for the Pontiff Pope Francis it is! I admit, I lost the bet. My contribution to the abortion rights organization of my choice is on its way in His Holiness’ honor.

Reality check: the fact that the new Pope is both militantly homophobic and medievally anti-choice is not a “stop the presses” moment. While some members of the gay press are acting both shocked and outraged (my favorite headline was “Pope Francis ‘Inflammatory’ in Opposition to LGBT Rights”) they are neither really shocked nor outraged. How could we be? The fact that a bunch of mostly white, elderly, European men voted for a Latino from Argentina may be the first genuinely documented Catholic miracle ever. To have hoped for a second miracle would have been gluttonous and in very poor taste on our parts. So let us all calm down on the moral indignation and save that for our elected officials and our movie stars. The guy is the Pope.

With all humility, I would like to offer my most private counsel to the new Pontiff. He has been duly elected God on Earth by a bunch of mostly white, elderly, European men after all, until death…or retirement, and he compels our good-natured respect. I am just a layperson here, and I do not readily focus in on Vatican politics and policies unless I am absolutely forced to, but this is my off-the-cuff assessment of how the Pope can win friends and influence people. It comes straight from the heart:

1

Keep wearing the wooden cross. While many of us think such an artifact is reminiscent of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, others believe it may actually represent some level of piety, simplicity, and humility. Solid gold crucifixes also weigh a ton around the neck, and he is 76 years old and missing a lung for God’s sake (pun intended).

While some of us love Prada red shoes, which make us think fondly of Carrie Bradshaw and The Wizard of Oz, they are also exceedingly ostentatious and decadent. Do not ruin the good will you have already engendered by wearing wooden crosses, riding the bus, and cooking your own meals. I understand the Metro System in Rome is relatively new and quite comfortable.

To quote Thoreau, “Simplify, simplify, simplify.” Popes love themselves some Thoreau.

2

“No Comment.” Two words Popes have relied on when it comes to pedophilia and internal corruption for centuries. Now try using those words around

The new pope, 76-year-old Jorge Bergoglio, the archbishop of Buenos Aires, is the first pontiff from Latin America and the first Jesuit, but he appears to hold views very much in line with his predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI.

GLBT issues and birth control. Feel free to talk about respect for all individuals. Then hit the “stop” button. Do not use the “but” word. Everyone knows your opinions on gay marriage, gay adoption, contraception, and condoms. You need not ever mention them again. In fact, I beg of you, I prostrate myself in front of you, never ever mention them again. While we are semi-on the subject: do not wash the feel of people living with AIDS anymore. Judgmental compassion is an oxymoron.

3

Focus on poverty. You are already being deemed a “champion of the poor.” Go with that. Make it your core focus until death…or retirement. Good use of religion: saving starving children. Bad use of religion: molesting children. Do not mix up these two cue cards, and you will be just fine.

4

Clean up your own backyard before commenting on mine. Become a leader of transparency and honor, so even those of us with an entirely different moral compass can respect you while we adamantly disagree with you. Make zero tolerance for child molestation a reality rather than a catchphrase. Involve the police and outside investigators. Ditto Vatican corruption. Nothing offends us outsiders more than the massive amounts of opulence and wealth that flows within a 110-acre area. Open the doors and let the air in.

5

Recognize women. I know it hurts. Giving up absolute control is tough on guys. Our Congress struggles. Our state houses struggle. Our Fortune 500 companies struggle. From menstrual cycles to Biblical passages, we rationalize and rationalize. All to our own detriment and destruction. Women rock. They add. They are better. They are far less likely to molest children. And they are more than 50 percent of the world’s population, so they will help those dwindling numbers of yours. If you do one thing to yank yourselves out of the dark ages, this would be it: Allow women in the clergy.

And, since sex in the clergy is verboten, you won’t have to worry about contraception and abortion issues. On your lesbian issues, I make no promises.

There it is: my five easy steps to being a better Pope and creating a cooler religion. Not really all that unreasonable. Practically middle-of-the-road. Accentuate the positive, that is all I am saying. I am on your side. I would like to make this relationship work. Being an openly gay, passionately pro-choice, High-HolyDay Jewish New Yorker, I am not sure my advice will rise to the top of the food chain, but no one can say I did not try.

About the Author Andy Stern, a native Long Islander, has been a pro-choice and gay rights activist for more than two decades and is the past Board President of Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth.

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