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In THis Issue April 2014 - Volume 2, Issue 5 1 Cover
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3 In this issue 6 in the news: national 7 in the news: interNational 8 Out on LI: Network News 12 Out Front: Nick Frost
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14 Out FRont: whoopi goldberg 17 CAlendar 18 Be scene: 2014 long island pride and pridefest 20 be scene: 14th annual Ligaly prom
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
21 out and about: imusic: do you want to dance? 22 living healthy: Summer q&a 24 living healthy: 5 tips for a healthier, sexier you! 26 Travel: columbus, ohio 27 recipes: summer barbecue 28 what's the t: e3 Video game reviews 30 Finance:
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32 living smart: Five summer make-up tips
Living Out is produced by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network
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Contributors Joey Amato, Chris Azzopardi, Toni Calabrese, Chris McNamee, Mike Murphy, Rev. Irene Monroe, Jennifer Nyx, Rheesa Persaud, Rachel Roth, Gregg Shapiro, Gwen Smith, Michael Troina
34 Points of view: a Great body of work
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In the news
national News
texas repubs. support “conversion” therapy
The Texas Republican Party has adopted a revised platform that endorses voluntary LGBT “conversion” therapy. The copy of the Republican Party of Texas’ 2014 platform, obtained by the San Antonio Express-News/Houston Chronicle, states: “We recognize the legitimacy and value of counseling which offers reparative therapy and treatment to patients who are seeking escape from the homosexual lifestyle. No laws or executive orders shall be imposed to limit or restrict access to this type of therapy.” Texas Gov. Rick Perry (above) defended the party’s backing of the controversial “treatment” by likening gays and lesbians to alcoholics. “Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that,” Perry told those in attendance at the Commonwealth Club of California. “I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”
trans woman wins nevada primary
Lauren Scott, a transgender Republican, won the GOP primary for the state Assembly’s 30th District, which includes parts of Democratic-leaning Reno. Scott, who won 58% of the vote, is the executive director of Equality Nevada and a Gulf War veteran. If elected in November, she could be the first openlytransgender state legislator. However, Dana Beyer – also a transgender woman - is running in Maryland’s Democratic primary for a state Senate seat and could also earn that title.
By Rachel Roth
texas dads denied parental rights
Two Texas fathers are fighting for the right to be legally recognized as such. Jason Hanna and Joe Riggs are each the biological father of twin sons – half brothers who share an egg donor – but ran into trouble when they sought to “cross adopt” the other’s child. According to GLAAD, neither Hanna nor Riggs are listed as fathers on either of their sons’ birth certificates, which the men have not been able to see. They petitioned a judge in Fort Worth to add
each of their names to their biological sons’ birth certificates and to second-parent adopt, the boys. The judge has denied the family both requests. In Texas, as in 17 other states, the law is “unclear” as to whether LGBT parents can jointly adopt, meaning such family protections vary from judge to judge or county to county. Additionally, Texas does not recognize the men’s marriage, making second-parent adoption harder to achieve.
MD. trans protection law withstands repeal effort Last month, Gay Life reported on the passage of a Maryland law that protects transgender people from discrimination in matters of housing, employment, credit and use of public accommodations under legislation.
Opponents of the negatively dubbed “Bathroom Bill,” launched a petition drive, hoping to collect enough signatures to put it up for a referendum vote later this year. The group fell roughly 1,000 short of the required signatures required to get the issue on the ballot. The law will go into effect in October.
video shows cop punching 19-year-old teen at pittsburgh pride celebration
executive order a boon for lgbt rights
A video circling the Internet shows a police officer using what appears to be excessive force on a 19-year-old Pittsburgh PrideFest attendee. Local news channel WPXI-TV reported that Ariel Lawther was fighting with a man named Eric Moore when the involved officer went to break the fight up. The criminal complaint obtained by WPXI stated that the officer “pulled the woman out and grabbed her hair and punched
President Barack Obama plans to sign an executive order banning federal contractors from discriminating against employees on the basis of their sexual orientation, a White House official told the Associated Press. The official – who insisted on anonymity - would not say when Obama planned to sign the order, only that the president had asked his staff to prepare a measure for his signature.
her in the stomach a few times.” Lawther was arrested and is facing several charges, including resisting arrest. She posted $5,000 bail and has since been released from the Allegheny County Jail. Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto is launching an investigation into the video to determine if excessive force was used. Officials also announced that the officer involved has been placed on desk duty pending the results of the investigation.
Marriage Equality News Brief: 20 and counting... District Judge Barbara Crabb struck down a Wisconsin law that banned same-sex marriages, ruling that it violated the Constitution’s equalprotection clause. Ten days after her ruling, same-sex marriages came to a halt while an appeal from Republican Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen is pending. According to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) approximately 500 couples wed during that time. The HRC also said it is expected that Van Hollen 6
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will appeal the ruling to the 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The day Wisconsin’s same-sex marriage ban was declared unconstitutional, seven couples in North Dakota filed a lawsuit challenging the federal constitutionality their of state’s marriage equality ban. Until now, North Dakota’s marriage ban had been the only one in the U.S. not facing a legal challenge.
The Supreme Court denied -without comment - a request from the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) to prevent same-sex couples from marrying in Oregon. The anti-LGBT group filed an appeal of a May ruling striking down the state’s marriage ban, and sought to prevent the issuance of licenses until the matter is decided. Hundreds of same-sex couples have wed in Oregon since the ruling took effect May 19.
>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG
In the news
celebrity News
‘True blood’ actor quits over gay role
r. kelly speaks about transgender son
‘scandal’ star Dan Bucatinsky on rights
It's nothing new when a character gets recast on a t.v. show, but the reason behind the recast of Luke Grimes' role of James on the hit HBO show 'True Blood' left a bad mark. While originally citing 'creative differences' as the reason for leaving the show, Buzzfeed is now reporting that Grimes quit because his plotline for the seventh and final season involved a romance between James and Lafayette. Writer's denied his requests to change the scripts to exclude same-sex kissing/sex scenes. Grimes' publicist insists he left due to scheduling conflicts with the "50 Shades of Grey" movie, in which he plays Elliot, Christian Grey's brother.
For the first time since rumors started, R. Kelly spoke about his transgender son with Chicago's WGCI. The rumors started early in June about his 14-year-old son, Jay (above), coming out as transgender on his Ask.fm page. R. Kelly said, "no matter what they are or who they are, they're still your kids, you love them, you know? You've got to support them. You want to support them..." Jay has since taken to his Ask.fm page to answer some questions about the recent media focus on his life. He responded by saying "because I'm transgender and the son of R. Kelly. I don't know why that is such a HUGE deal."
Dan Bucatinksy, 'Scandal' actor and gay dad of two, says it is o.k. to hate him for being gay. He stated that hate is "part of the freedom of thought and expression in this country". Bucatinksy only requests that this hatred not be used to obstruct his life, or the lives of any gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender individual. He believes that is it peoples hatred that gets in the way of "[his] ability to work, provide for [his] family, and provide for [his] children". The 'Scandal' star says he's not "somebody who believes that you shouldn't have the right to hate me for being gay".
international News
By Rachel Roth
indian census includes trans population The first-ever count of India’s transgender population has found that nearly 500,000 citizens identify as transgender– though activists say the real number may be far higher. Despite the large numbers, Gay Star News reported that only 28,341 registered voters identify as trans, or belonging to the “third gender” as allowed in the country. Additionally, the census found that transgender Indians were more likely to be disadvantaged in education and more likely to be out of work than the general population.
two lgbt protestors detained in moscow Russian police detained two protestors who were holding an “unsanctioned” gay pride demonstration in the country’s capital. According to the Associated Press, gay rights protesters gathered outside the mayor’s office in Moscow. Applications for permission to hold gay-rights rallies are generally declined in the city where dissemination of LGBT “propaganda” is an offense punishable by jail time and fines, under the auspices that they “could lead to violence by opponents.” As of press time, it remained unclear as to whether the two protesters arrested would be charged.
u.k. court ruling allows gay couple’s adoption A British judge has ruled in favor of an unidentified same-sex couple seeking to adopt two children. The children, also unidentified, were removed from their parents’ care over reports of abuse and neglect, but the biological parents attempted to block the adoption on religious grounds. The parents are of Slovak Roma heritage and were concerned that their children would not be able to be brought up in the Catholic faith because “of the conflicts between Catholicism and homosexuality.” Sir James Munby, president of the family division of the High Court of England and Wales, said that while they are entitled to their views, they are not a reason to block an adoption.
>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG
four time olympic hockey star comes out Four-time Olympic gold medalist Charline Labonte has announced that she is a lesbian in an interview with the online publication, Our Sports. The Canadian hockey goalie met her girlfriend, speed skater Anastasia Buscis, while they were both competing in the Sochi
Games in Feburary. Labonte said that her experience in Russia was a harbinger for her deciding to publicly come out, saying; “the idea of not being completely free during the [Olympic] Games left me with a bitter taste.”
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LI vineyards & Breweries: What to know before you go
by toni calabrese When one thinks of a vineyard, they typically think of California, France, Italy. New York-and more specifically Long Island-is not usually at the top of that list. But what some might not realize is that there are over 50 vineyards on Long Island alone! The first vineyard was planted in Cutchogue, on Long Island’s North Fork in 1973. Six varietals were planted between 1973 and 1974, and two years later, Hargrave Vineyards opened to the public. Although no longer in establishment, Hargrave has since been purchased and renamed Castello Di Borghese, and is still operational today. I recently spoke with Brewster McCall, co-owner of McCall Wines, who gave some insight into vineyard life. Russell McCall purchased the old farm in 1996 to preserve it from the threat of development. In 1997, they planted Corchaug Estate vineyard (21 acres in total), and in 2007, they made their first wines under the McCall Wines label. They sold their grapes and chose to wait for
some maturity in the vineyard before making their own wine to focus on quality, above all else. One look at the quaint restored barn and you can see why McCall is one of the most popular vineyards on the island-but once you sample the wine, you can really taste why they are one of the most popular vineyards on the island. Their 2010 Pinot Reserve received “Best Pinot in NY State” at 8
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the 2013 NY Food & Wine Classic, and their Ben’s Blend-a merlot based Bordeaux blend-scored a 91 in Wine Spectator, and won a blind tasting by the Long Island Merlot Alliance. I asked Brewster about the wine making process, specifically why some varietals take longer to make than others: “Unoaked whites and roses can be made rather quickly; our 2013 Marjorie’s Rose and Cuvee Nicola Sauvignon Blanc have already been released in the tasting room. Oaked wines and reds take much longer to soften and come around. For instance, we just released our 2010 Reserve Merlot after three years of aging in bottle, and some of our 2010s aren’t even ready to come out. The very best wineries will only release wines once they begin to show well. Of course that means sitting on your investment, which can be costly.” Each varietal of grape has a different ripening time period. Whites come in first, and Pinot Noir is the earliest ripening red, coming in around midto-late September. Merlot and Cabernet are the last to harvest, as late as a week before frost, depending on the weather. August and September are the busiest months for most vineyards, especially for McCall. A lot of vineyards offer food, local seafood and cheeses, live music on the weekends, weddings, wine dinners, fundraisers, and a host of other activities. I asked Brewster if he had any tips for first time vineyard goers – here are his suggestions: Designate a driver, ask questions, bring a water bottle and hydrate throughout the day, pace yourself and don’t be embarrassed to spit, and above all be respectful of the wineries you visit, because they may not allow outside food or smoking. Add in some stops off the beaten path-usually the staff at the
tasting rooms are great resources to find out about the next best places to visit. And most of all have fun! A lot of out of towners, and I’m sure native Long Islanders, don’t realize that there are at least 23 breweries on Long Island between Nassau and Suffolk County. The majority of these are housed in Suffolk County, but several are located in Nassau County. The first Long Island brewery was established in 1994, but soon closed its doors in 1998. BrickHouse Brewery, located in Patchogue, is the oldest, still operational brewery on the island, being founded in 1996. In the past few years, several more breweries have started to pop up, including the Oyster Bay Brewing Co., located in Oyster Bay. I spoke with owner and brew master Gabriel Haim, who had some great wisdom to share. “Breweries can be separated into two categories – brewpubs and craft breweries. Craft breweries produce less than 6 million barrels annually, while brewpubs are restaurants where they make their own beer for consumption, and sometimes distribution” (think BrickHouse Brewery and John Harvard’s). While wine can take years to perfect, beer can take significantly less time from start to drink. I asked Gabriel exactly how long it takes to make beer. He said a typical brew day takes approximately 6 hours, and they can have that batch in kegs, ready to drink within 10 days to 2 weeks. But what exactly goes into beer? We’ve all heard of “hops” but what exactly are they? As Gabriel explains it, “Hops are used for two
purposes in the beer making process – bittering and aroma. Hops are added during the boil and depending on when the hops are added can vary the bitterness and the aroma of the beer.” We’ve also all heard of flavored beers – which some might think is full of artificial flavors and/or coloring. And while some mass produced beers are artificial, Oyster Bay Brewing Co. brews are not. Gabriel states that there are many different flavors you can use including typical fruits (blueberry, raspberry) to atypical choices such as peppers, basil and oysters (Oyster Bay Brewing Co.’s favorite!). Another word that seems to be synonymous with breweries these days is “growlers”. A growler is a 64oz jug (1/2 gallon) that you can fill up in the brewery. You purchase the empty growler and pick your favorite beer to take home with you. When you’re finished, you can bring it back empty and fill it back up again! Oyster Bay Brewing Co. sells 16oz, 32oz and 64oz growlers. The sense of pride when speaking to local vineyard and brew masters is overwhelming. They truly care about a great product and pleasing their friends and neighbors. As Gabriel Haim of Oyster Bay Brewing Co. put it, “We all take pride in our product and our establishments and love when people come to visit to see our operation. We appreciate the local support from the towns that we are based out of, as well as those that travel from far away to see us.” Next time you plan a trip to the vineyards or breweries, be sure to check out McCall Wines and Oyster Bay Brewing Co.
>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG
out on li 18,000 SHOW THEIR PRIDE AT THE 24TH ANNUAL LI PRIDE PARADE
Exciting Career Opportunities! Grow at The Network and make a difference in the lives of GLBT Long Islanders Open Positions Safe Schools Coordinator (F/T) Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is seeking a full-time Safe Schools Coordinator to be based at its Suffolk County GLBT Community Center. The Safe Schools Coordinator is responsible for the coordination and delivery of LIGALY’s Safe Schools Initiative and Community Education and Training Program to create safer, more supportive GLBT-affirming spaces for GLBT people. The Safe Schools Coordinator reports to the Regional Director for Youth Services. Qualifications include: Bachelor’s degree in social work, human services, public health, or related field preferred; Commitment to and knowledge of the GLBT youth community as well as principles of youth development; Experience working with youth, GLBT individuals, public speaking, and/or community organizing; Strong written and verbal communication skills; Excellent interpersonal skills, ability to work with a wide range of people and flexibility; Some nights and weekends required.
HIV/STD Outreach and Testing Program Leader (P/T) Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is seeking a part-time HIV/STD Outreach and Testing Program Leader for an average of 10-12 hours per week. Will conduct a variety of activities to promote getting tested for HIV and STDs and educating gay and bisexual men about how to reduce risky sexual behaviors. Will provide HIV/STD testing, deliver counseling, testing and referral services, distribute safer sex materials, conduct outreach in bars, clubs, commercial sex venues, community events and other locations and engage young people for HIV/STD prevention programming. Preferred qualifications include someone with HIV Counseling, Testing and Referral (CTR) experience or a willingness to be trained; willing to work flexible hours; outgoing personality; active NYS Driver’s License; reliable transportation. Preferences: bilingual English/ Spanish and phlebotomy training and High School degree or GED.
Van Driver (P/T) Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is currently seeking a van driver to pick up and drop off youth from both Suffolk and Nassau counties for its programs. The driver assures safe and reliable transportation to and from LIGALY programs for youth. Must have a clean and valid New York State-issued driver’s license; basic automotive maintenance skills; an ability to exercise good judgment; flexible availability afternoon/evenings and a commitment to the GLBT youth community. Preferred additional qualifications include having a GPS to help navigate Nassau and Suffolk and/or a knowledge of MapQuest/Google maps; experience working with youth, particularly from at-risk populations and knowledge of first-aid/CPR.
More than 18,000 people took part in the 24th Annual Long Island Pride Parade and PrideFest on Saturday, June 14th. The all day festival started with a parade down Main Street in Huntington, with Grand Marshal Edie Windsor rolling down the route perched atop a convertible. Windsor, a gay rights icon, whose lawsuit led to the U.S. Supreme Court decision that overturned parts of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was "thrilled and honored to be the Grand Marshal of the LI Pride Parade" and to march with Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY). LIGALY is an organization of the Long Island GLBT Network (The Network), which hosts the Pride events each year. David Kilmnick, CEO of The Network, told News 12 that it was "just an incredible day for Long Island. Just to feel proud and celebrate in our hometown shows that we don't have to go to New York City to be ourselves".
Murena played to the largest crowd that PrideFest has ever seen and over 60 vendors were on site at Heckscher Park giving away freebies and selling a variety of goods and services.
Entertainers such as Taylor Dayne, Kristine W., Prince Poppycock and Joe
Next year, LI Pride and PrideFest will be held on Saturday, June 13, 2015.
TO SEE MORE PHOTOS FROM THIS YEARS LONG ISLAND PRIDE AND PRIDEFEST, TURN TO PAGE 18
STARTING OR LEAVING A JOB THIS SUMMER? GET COVERED! PROJECT
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Employment affects everything about your life, including how you access health care. If you have just left a job, or are just starting one, Project Helm (Healthcare Enrollment for the LGBT Market) can help you understand your health insurance options. Special enrollment in the New York State Insurance Marketplace is available for people who have changes in their employment status. You don't need to wait until the next open enrollment period!
Project Helm can get your insurance changed TODAY! Learn More
Apply Online at: liglbtnetwork.org/careers
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To learn more or to set up a one-on-one appointment, contact The Long Island GLBT Network at 631.665.2300 or email enroll@liglbtnetwork.org
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A Partnership Much Needed:
Long Island GLBT Network and Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. (FREE) Do you remember when you came out? It’s a hard process for most. Now, add in another factor, you have a disability. This can be a harder process because you have to come to terms with your disability before you can accept your sexuality. In general, our society does not recognize that an individual, who is differently-abled, could also be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning. Often times a family who has a differently-abled member knows how difficult it is to gain acceptance in society so they would rather ignore or deny the possibility of a member exploring their sexuality. As a result, these individuals do not have the support that is needed from society and their families to come out and become “FREE To BE” who they are. “Together… Creating the right solution for any need” is the vision statement of Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. (FREE). FREE is a 501(c)(3) founded in 1977 and headquartered in Old Bethpage. FREE benefits and proudly supports more than 3,500 individuals with intellectual disabilities, mental illness and traumatic brain injury. FREE provides a diverse array of supports and services including: housing, recovery services, transition to work, employment,
day, community and family services, respite, crisis services, education and after-school support, primary and specialty health care and advocacy. About 4 years ago, Mary Greenfield who was working at a similar agency called ACLD (Association for Children with Learning Disabilities), approached the Chief Executive Officer of FREE, Robert S. Budd, about starting a support group for differently-abled individuals who needed support in coming to terms with their sexuality. Without hesitation, Robert S. Budd jumped at the opportunity and “FREE to BE” was born. Since 2010, “FREE to BE” has been successful in providing support and social events for differently-abled individuals to become more comfortable with who they are. Since then, “FREE to BE” holds monthly meetings and participates in social events such as the Long Island Pride Parade and Festival, movie nights and potluck dinners. Recently, David Kilmnick, Chief Executive Officer and founder of the Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Network (The Network) and Robert S. Budd, Chief Executive Officer of FREE, shared the vision of partnering to create a support group for their differently-abled individuals. David Kilmnick, Robert S. Budd and their teams
have been working synergistically to create a new partnership between FREE and the The Network. The gifts and talents of each organization’s team members have allowed “FREE to BE” to become a resource and leader, not only for individuals who are differently-abled, but for team members, family members, allies and other agencies to provide and/or receive support services. This historic partnership was announced on May 2, 2014 at The Network's 7th Annual Equality Awards Gala.
The Resource Center, which is located at FREE’s headquarters in Old Bethpage, will be providing services such as counseling, education and advocacy for our team members, family members and the individuals we support on behalf of the LIGLBT Network and the Family of FREE Network. Differently-abled individuals who are questioning their sexuality need support and a voice. Thanks to the new partnership between the LIGLBT Network and FREE, they now have a stronger and louder voice.
OVER 150 YOUTH ATTEND THE 14TH ANNUAL LIGALY PROM
Over 150 GLBT and allied youth from all over Long Island enjoyed an unforgettable prom night in a safe and welcoming environment at LIGALY’s 14th Annual GLBT Prom. The prom was held at the Historical Thatched Cottage in Centerport on June 20, 2014 and featured a mocktail hour, a buffet dinner with an ice cream bar. Dr. Beat Production kept the music pumping all night long as youth danced the night away. This years entertainment included a special performance from LIGALY's Got Big Talent winner, Courtney Farbman, who uses sign language to dance and sign to music. Every year, LIGALY's prom crowns a Rainbow Court, where winners are chosen for each of the following categories: Red Evolution, Orange Welcoming, Yellow Jubilance,
Green Harmony, Blue Brave, Purple Inspiration. This year's court was:
Ethan Diaz
Jonathan Gorman
Chrissy Kenney
Courtney Farbman
Billy Schimmel
Alexxander CockelPatrick
to see more photos from the 14th annual ligaly prom, turn to page 20
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FROST'S FURY
AN INTERVIEW WITH NICK FROST BY GREGG SHAPIRO
If you think Nick Frost is funny in movies such as Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End, and Kinky Boots, just try interviewing him. As fast on his feet as his salsa dancing character Bruce in Cuban Fury, Frost is an interviewer’s dream. He knows when to be funny and he knows when to be serious, both of which he did when I spoke with him about his role as the unlikely, but not unlovable, romantic lead character (and snappy and sizzling salsa dancer) Bruce.
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Nick, dancing is at the heart of Cuban Fury. Do you like dancing in general? I have a complex relationship with it and always have. I like doing it. I’m at an age now where, as a 42-year-old man, I kind of don’t give a sh-t about who sees me either. I’m from a house music background and I’ve got to say, where I go clubbing, where I went clubbing, you don’t give a shit what you look like. We used to go to a lot of gay clubs because that’s where the best DJs played. It was all about having fun and making connections with people. There is a long history of dancing in the movies, including Saturday Night Fever, Footloose, Billy Elliott and recently in Silver Linings Playbook. Do you have a favorite movie in which dancing plays a part in the story? I’m a big fan of Strictly Ballroom, the Baz Luhrmann spectacular. In terms of what Baz did, the characters are believable even though it’s something that 99% of the audience would never relate to in terms of it being ballroom dancing. But you do relate to it because you can relate to the characters. In terms of
doing a comedy, if you can get the audience on board to root for a character or dislike a character because they are a baddy or enjoy the interplay between two characters, that enables you at some point to take your foot off the gag count and play it for the emotion. We always find that it leaves the audience coming out of the film feeling like you’ve been somewhere. Bruce is a salsa dancer. How did you decide on that style of music and dance for the movie, as opposed to say, polka? [Laughs] The most romantic of all dances, of course [laughs]. Or tango! Right! A lady said that to us the other day when we were in Seattle – it could have been tango. It was never going to be ballroom. Technically, you need to find a dance that looks beautiful and will look beautiful on camera that needs physical contact; that you’re essentially kind of like having sex without any fluid exchange. It completely fit the bill. Bullying continues to be a hot button issue and in Cuban Fury, it is bullying that causes Bruce to abandon his passion for salsa dancing. Did you experience bullying as a
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boy, and if so, how did you deal with it? I experienced bullying when I was probably 10. The boys were older than me. They were like 13 and for like a month they picked on me every day on the bus to school. One day, I was outside my house and they were picking on me. My mum came thundering out of the house. She suspected that something was going on. She beat them. She physically beat those two boys and they ran off crying. An hour later, their mother came ‘round. Then my mum and that woman had a fistfight on my doorstep. It ended with the woman crying because my mother had pulled all of the buttons off of her coat. That’s poetic, actually. That was it. I was never bullied (again). From that point on I became a big man, I was 18 stone (approximately 250 pounds) at 16. I played a lot of rugby and I got to a point where you wouldn’t bully me. I have a two and a half year old son now and I think about it a lot, how I as a father…my heart would say, “Pop him in the fucking mouth.” But then that could create a bully.
Bullies aren’t limited to childhood and Bruce is tormented by office bully Drew, played by Chris O’Dowd. What was it like working with Chris? Amazing. We’ve worked together before. We did the film Pirate Radio and we realized we liked each other. He has that ability just to make me laugh. That’s on set in front of cameras, as well. I like him and I like working with him. You have no defense against Chris. He improvises a lot, so you never know what he’s going to say. If you watch that film again, I don’t look at him until the scene in the bathroom. One might argue that it’s a character thing; that he (Bruce) can’t look at his oppressor until he has the power of salsa in him. But the fact is that I just couldn’t look at him. I look at his shoulder or I look above his head, because he’d make me laugh. Bruce, who doesn’t have much luck in the romance department, finds himself attracted to new boss, the seemingly unattainable Julia (Rashida Jones). Have you ever found yourself doing anything you could to get the attention of a woman and, if so, what did you do to get her attention? I’d say almost daily. I fall in love a lot. I’ve always been kind of funny, so it’s about making them laugh.
Right, because without a sense of humor, you can be stunningly gorgeous, but if you can’t laugh or make others laugh… …you’re just a bag of well-chiseled meat, right [laughs]? If there is a message in this film it is that. My point was that there is more to attraction than aesthetic beauty. Passion remains hard forever. You don’t have to worry about being sixty and drooping. Your passion doesn’t droop. What was it like to work with Rashida? I’d met Rashida before at two events in Los Angeles. We got her over to London when we thought she was the one we wanted. We met for lunch and tea and that turned into afternoon wine, which then turned into dinner and margaritas when we realized that we’d been talking for five hours. In terms of not just the potential that we would be working together but the connection between human beings…often the connection I have with people like that are those I’ve been friends with for 20 years. While taking refresher salsa lessons, Bruce meets and is befriended by Bejan (Kayvan
Novak), a man of Middle Eastern origin and shall we say indeterminate sexual orientation. [Laughs] Yeah. Their unlikely friendship leads to some of the funniest scenes in the movie. Why was it important for you to include a character such as Bejan in Cuban Fury? My feeling about that is that we never thought about it. Kayvan, the actor who plays Bejan, came up with this character during our improvisations. I’ve thought about this and I’ve talked about this with Kayvan. I don’t think he’s gay. He’s (Bejan) a man who likes Bruce. He can’t help but show it; that sometimes means being tactile. I think that’s a reflection of my relationship with Kayvan. We really like one another. When he comes in at the end and says (spoken like Bejan), “Where’d you put it?,” that’s just him and me. That’s not the characters [laughs]. I also want to say that my group of male friends and I, we’re mouthkissers. We do it to freak people out and we do freak them out. They’re like, “What the f-ck did we just see?” So, coming back to the film, real men dance. Some of the hardest men I’ve ever encountered are the first on the dance floor. You know you’d never say anything because you’d get murdered. [laughs] LIVING OUT
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T N U L I B P O G O N I H T W H ET
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Never one to give a flying you-knowwhat, Whoopi Goldberg has made a career out of not caring. Ask her about her sexuality – to some, a lingering enigma since the ’70s, when Goldberg made lots of lesbians laugh at San Francisco comedy clubs – and she doesn’t get all the fuss. Ask her what she thinks about pot – actually, don’t even bother. She just wrote a column about it. Whoopi loves a blunt. It makes a lot of sense, then, that one of Goldberg’s earliest comedy heroes is veteran standup Jackie “Moms” Mabley, the 20th-century trailblazer – and later, a civil rights activist – known for a so-what attitude, her edgy humor and dressing like your grandma. The first female comedian to be featured at the Apollo, Mabley was also known to be a lesbian, a topic discussed in Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley, a Goldberg-funded documentary featuring a roster of comedy big shots: Joan Rivers, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby and Kathy Griffin. In this recent interview with Whoopi, the comedian-actress talked about how being a lesbian had no effect on Moms becoming “the funniest woman in the world,” the longstanding rumors of Goldberg’s own sexuality and her commitment to the fight for gay rights. 14
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How do you think a black lesbian like Moms managed to have such a following in the ’20s and ’30s, a time when homosexuality would’ve likely been a career breaker? Nobody was thinking about it. If you weren’t funny, you didn’t work. Your sexuality, who you were – whether you were a man or a woman – didn’t matter. Funny trumps everything. You were an early ally of the LGBT community at a time when identifying as such was a much bigger risk. At that point in time, people would automatically assume an ally was someone who just did not want to come out of the closet. (Laughs) That’s what people thought! It was ridiculous. I was like, “Uh, no.” People just didn’t understand. You see bad situations or stupid situations, like folks having an issue with who you cared about, who you wanna be with, all that kind of stuff that has nothing to do with the realities of our world. The realities of the world I grew up in was: It was nobody’s business. If you’re not doing your job, then I’m gonna bitch. But I’m not gonna bitch at anybody ’cause they’re gay, or because they weigh a lot more than me. At the time, it just seemed so stupid to me that this was what people’s issues were. As an ally and as someone with a long history in the movement, what’s your take on the role you played then and the evolving nature of being identified as an ally?
Entertainer shrugs off gay rumors, talks being ‘claimed’ by the LGBT community I don’t know yet. There was nothing anybody could do to me then, because I felt that these were my friends and my people, and no one had a right to judge them. I don’t want people messing with me, so I defend everybody’s right to be themselves. That has always been my battle cry. I think now, people get it. They understand it because they’re looking at themselves saying, “This is how I am.” I know if somebody’s messing with me, I don’t wanna hear it. I have to stand up. Get off my stage. People have long speculated about your sexuality, haven’t they? (Laughs) Yeah! And it’s like, there are a lot worse things people could have accused me of – things that would really be upsetting! That’s not one of them. It never has been. I grew up in the theater. I grew up in a neighborhood where there was always gay folks. Always! So I never understood people’s freak out about it. Everybody is so damn paranoid about everything. They’re so concerned that (people) are gonna be like, “Oh, somebody’s gonna think I’m gay.” So what! What happens if they do? Considering how long people have wondered how you swing, watching Moms Mabley made me think: Should a documentary be made about your life one day, how do you want people to characterize your sexual identity? I don’t care. Don’t care! Because I’ll probably be gone by then! (Laughs) With all the amaz-
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out front
I PARD O Z Z IS A MENT R N H I C A T Y NTER E IEW B V E R M E T IN BO HO H F O RTESY U O C OS PHOT ing people who have come out, if you’re still talking about my sexuality – I’m the one you choose – you’re not doing your job. But don’t you think celebrities also play a role in the gay rights movement just by being themselves? They do now. But there was a time when people were like, “Oh, no, I’m not gonna say anything. Somebody’s gonna think I’m (gay).” It’s like, you’d be lucky if somebody thought you were gay! That’s my response to everybody. If that’s what you’re freaking out about, then you’re concerned about the wrong thing.
"I’m straight, but what does it mean? What does it really mean?" In 2008, you held up a sign that said “For My Friends – Equal Rights” during a Prop 8 protest in New York. In 2010, you joined Cyndi Lauper in the launch of her Give a Damn Campaign to raise awareness of LGBT discrimination. But your gay advocacy dates back even further than that:You pushed an AIDS-stricken man in a wheelchair in the 1987 March on Washington. What motivated you to become an ally? Well, sure, there’s all of that, but I’ve always had gay people in my life. I mean, I grew up in Chelsea, a neighborhood that has all kinds of folks, because nobody had any money. We were all poor. There were men you’d call “uncle” who never seemed to have girlfriends, and they were your “uncle.” Later on
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you learned what it meant. These guys didn’t want to be with these girls. They had their love from their brothers. They wanted their men. And Moms, despite talking about young men in her act, had a thing for the ladies. Yeah, she worked a great game. She was all about living life on her own terms. Moms must remind you of yourself in that sense. It’s crazy – she’s very much like me. Very much! Like her, I’m always trying to get the gig, and it can be a bit difficult because I’m not conventional. There’s many things people can wonder about, but if you don’t know by now, it’s because you don’t wanna know. I say to people, “Well, what do you think I am?” They say, “We think you’re gay.” I say, “If that’s what you wanna think, OK!” I have been gay in films. I’ve done two: The Color Purple and I always forget what the other one is. People assume they know because they’ve seen you in a movie or because they’ve seen you do something or they’ve heard you say something, and then they make assumptions. Quite honestly, I was glad to be claimed. We were happy to claim you. Yes! You know, no one was trying to claim me, nobody wanted me. Black folks didn’t want me. Nobody wanted me. But I’ve always been claimed by the gay community. Always.
And maybe that’s why people have assumed you’re anything but straight. Through the years you’ve even made some vague remarks regarding your sexuality. For instance, on The View in 2009 you told Barbara Walters, when she made a comment about you coming out of the closet, “Please, that door’s been open for years.” Is your sexuality something you prefer to leave ambiguous? No, I’m pretty clear. You’ve never seen me with a woman. Pretty much been married to men the whooole time! Not the same, but a few of them. (Laughs) Nah, I’m straight, but what does it mean? What does it really mean? It means you play a lesbian in Boys on the Side and people jump to conclusions. Yes, that’s the other one! Thank you. I love that movie. I always forget Boys on the Side because I did The Color Purple and I know people saw that first. What’s gayer: playing an actual lesbian or a singing nun? It’s all a challenge because you always have to find out what your sweet spot is in a piece. My sweet spot in Boys on the Side was how much I loved Mary-Louise (Parker, who played Robin). The sweet spot for Sister Act was really religion – that everybody can have some relationship to religion and it doesn’t have to be what everybody else thinks that relationship should be. I love that answer, but I think you misinterpreted my question. LIVING OUT
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"I never understood people’s freak out about [Being gay]. Everybody is so damn paranoid about everything." I’m sorry. I’m on a cell phone. I can’t hear shit, honey! We’ll just go with what you think I said. I love you already. Whatever happened to your nun’s habit from Sister Act? I think I sent it to France. Everybody needs something for Halloween.
LIVING OUT 4.314x5.563
Thanks for chatting, Whoopi, and also for being an ally.Your advocacy in the gay community has meant a lot to a lot of people. Well, we’re all one people, baby. People keep trying to divide us up into “you’re gay, you’re black, you’re white,” but we’re all one people. What fucks with one fucks with us all. If we don’t recognize that, we’re in deep trouble.
Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.
Know Your Status for you and your partners Free HIV and STD/STI Testing Available during drop-in hours and by appointment at all locations of The Long Island GLBT Community Center.
Drop-In Hours The Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury Every Thursday, 5-8pm
The Center at Bay Shore 34 Park Avenue, Bay Shore Every Wednesday, 5-8pm
The Hamptons GLBT Center 44 Union Street, Sag Harbor First Friday of the month, 4-8pm
Free, quick, and confidential testing for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. For moreinformation information orschedule to schedule an For more or to an appointment, appointment, the Outreach HIV/STDand Outreach contact Lambertcontact Liu, HIV/STD Testing and Testing Program at 631.665.2300 Program Manager at lliu@ligaly.org or 631.665.2300 Nassau: Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797 T 516.323.0011 F 516.750.4715
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Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore 34 Park Avenue Bay Shore, NY 11706 T 631.665.2300 F 631.665.7874
East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center 44 Union Street Sag Harbor, NY 11963 T 631.899.4950 F 631.665.7874
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show your pride
calendar of events SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip: Eisenhower Park Potluck Tuesday, July 15th, 11 a.m. Eisenhower Park Parking Field 3 Join us for a fun afternoon potluck at Eisenhower Park. We are picnicking (and BBQing) at Parking Field 3. Parking is free during the week for both Nassau and Suffolk County residents. Please note that there is no Mingle on this day. Rain date scheduled for Tuesday, July 22nd. Bring whatever games or outdoor activities that would make you happy (in addition to a comfy chair if picnic tables are uncomfortable for you)! There is an RSVP sign-up with items that are needed for the picnic – please RSVP with your item reservation by Friday, July 11th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
SAGE-LI Evening Mingle Wednesday, July 16th, 7 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury If you work and/or have engagements during the day that limit you from attending fabulous SAGE-LI daytime programming, this is the program for you! The Evening Mingle is the perfect opportunity to socialize and hang out with other GLBT older adults. Light refreshments will be served. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
SAGE-LI Meschutt Beach Potluck Party Thursday, July 24th, 4:30 p.m. Canal Road & Old North Hwy. Hampton Bays
SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip: Cricket's and Loughlin Vineyard Saturday, July 26th, 11:45 a.m. Cricket's 98 Main Street, Sayville
E-mail: editor@ livingoutli.org
Discussion and support group for GLBT people in their 20’s. A safe and affirming space to share their experiences. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011
Join us for lunch at Cricket’s at 11:45pm located at 98 Main St in Sayville. Their lunch menu ranges from $3.50-$13.95 and includes burgers, steak, seafood AlAnon and sandwiches. Following lunch we Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. are visiting Loughlin Vineyard at 2pm located at 299B South Main St in Sayville. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, Loughlin Vineyard is the closest vineyard 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury to NYC and rests behind The John E. Closed group for all ages. Roosevelt Estate. There will be balloons www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011 at the entrance of the vineyard. Follow the dirt road all the way back to the right. RSVP required by Thursday, July 24th. Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
SAGE-LI Health & Wellness: Reiki Meditation Tuesday, July 29th, 1 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury
Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore
Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Brother2Brother 2nd and 4th Fridays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury
Reiki is an ancient Japanese hands-on healing technique that is used for relaxation and stress reduction. It is not Social and discussion group for gay and a substitute for traditional medical and bisexual men of color age 21+. health care, but rather compliments, supports, and works with it. Join us as we www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011 welcome Licensed Reiki Master, Lianna Murphy, for an hour long session of Reiki Drop-In HIV/STD Testing: Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. and relaxation! Nassau: Center at Woodbury, www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Senior Focus Group Monday, July 28th,1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore
A potluck on the East End! Meschutt Come join our coed, peer-led, issueBeach is located on the east side of the focused discussion group. Shinnecock Canal at Canal Road & Old www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 North Highway in the Hampton Bays. Book Club Be sure to bring your own beach chair. Rain date scheduled for Thursday, August Tuesday, July 29th, 8 p.m. Tuesday, August 26th, 8 p.m. 14th. RSVP along with the dish you Nassau: Center at Woodbury, are bringing is required by Tuesday, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, July 22nd. Suite 110, Woodbury www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Join us for this month’s discussion as well as bringing your ideas for future books to share with the group. This month's book is "More Tales of the City" by Armistead Maupin. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011
Have an event you want listed here?
20 Something 2nd & 4th Fridays, 7:30-9 p.m Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury
7th Annual Fire Island Senior Invasion Wednesday, August 20th, 11a.m. Sayville Ferry, 41 Silver Road Sayville, NY 11782 SAGE-LI joins Queens Center for Gay Seniors, Silver Connections, and SAGENYC for our day trip to the Ice Palace at Cherry Grove. The total for this trip is $41, which includes a full Italian buffet, all day access to the Ice Palace pool, 2 free drinks, bingo, as well as the round trip ticket on the ferry. Please note that there is an additional fee if you park your car at the Sayville Ferry parking lot. We are meeting at 11am at Sayville Ferry, taking the 11:30am ferry to Cherry Grove and returning on the 6pm ferry back to Sayville. The Invasion is rain or shine. RSVP with the full payment is required by Monday, August 11th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
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20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore By Appointment Only East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473
LITE Social and Discussion Group 1st/3rd Mondays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st and 3rd Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Living PositHIVly 1st and 3rdThursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury A support group for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011
PEP Team – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore
TRUE Calling Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury
Interactive leadership program promoting sexual health for GLBT young LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth people. and their friends to show off their skills! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Sing, act, dance, or perform. Safe Schools Team www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011
Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore
Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Sag Harbor Mingle Fridays, 3-5 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor The Hamptons GLBT Center is officially open and SAGE-LI is bringing a Mingle to Sag Harbor! Bring your friends and come meet new ones. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950
SAGE-LI Women at Nassau (SWAN) Wednesdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women as well as women questioning their identity. There will be no SWAN on Wednesday, July 16th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011
Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for lesbians age 40+.
You Gotta Believe Mondays, 6-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore The Long Island GLBT Community Center has partnered with You Gotta Believe, a non-profit organization that places teenagers into permanent adoptive homes, to provide Adoptive Parent Preparation Classes! If you are interested in participating, please call 631.665.2300. www.liglbtnetwork.org
Youth Group Tuesdays, 5-7 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor All East End youth should come check out this new hot GLBT spot. Every Tuesday is a fun interactive youth group: hang out with others in the lounge. You won’t want to miss it! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950
Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Nassau County Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury
Hampton Bays Mingle 2nd and 4th Thursdays, SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 3-5 p.m. 50+ at The Center at Garden City. Hampton Bays Senior Center, www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays OUTlet SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT Fridays, 8 p.m.-Midnight seniors 50+ on the East End. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore LIFE in Nassau 2nd Thursday, 7-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIFE in Nassau meets every second Thursday. Open to adults of all genders and orientations with an interest in BDSM topics.
LIGALY Advisory Board Mondays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore
Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. $2 admission, transportation available. The themes for July are: July 11th/Mexico Night; July 18th/Orange is the New Black Night; July 25th/Game Night. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Parent Support Group 1st/3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300
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Missed last month’s Pride Guide issue of Living Out? read it online at www.livingoutli.org SATURDAY, JUNE 14TH
• HECKSCHER PARK,
HUNTINGTON
You YOUr R Pri PRIde DE Gu GUIide DE
table of contents
long island pride!
LI Pride History
2014 Grand Marshal Pridefest map TD Bank vip lounge
saturday, june 14, 2014 in huntington
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LI Pride Sponsors 2014 entertainment
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Pridefest Style
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Bethpage Affinity
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PrideFest Picnic pride recipes
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LGBTrue stories
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Black pride
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over 18,000 glbt and allied community members came to huntington for the 24th annual long island pride parade and pridefest, presented by bethpage federal credit union! Long Islanders cheered along the sidelines for the parade, which featured marching groups, floats, and vehicles, all led by Grand Marshal, Edie Windsor; the all-day entertainment lineup during PrideFest in Heckscher Park brought Taylor Dayne, Kristine W, Prince Poppycock, Joe Murena and other top national and local talent, plus community booths, activities for kids and families in the K98.3 Kids Zone, a beer and wine garden, the TD Bank VIP Lounge, gourmet food from The BBQ King and much more.
Grand Marshal and gay rights icon Edie Windsor rolls down the parade route with LIGALY.
Loud and proud youth led the parade down Main Street.
Presenting sponsor Bethpage Federal Credit Union at the Parade line-up.
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Taylor Dayne returns home to LI with a powerful performance.
Kristine W. dominates Pride with her stunning vocals.
Jean Rockmachine thrills the audience with her six string.
More than 18,000 GLBT and allied Long Islanders packed Heckscher Park to celebrate and show their Pride.
Prince Poppycock walks the walk while at Pride.
Joe Murena was proud to sing to the crowd on June 14th.
see more photos from this year’s pride parade and pridefest: lipride.org/photos
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out and about i-music
by gregg shapiro
do you want to
dance? foster the people
AVICII With his full-length debut True (Island), Avicii (aka Tim Bergling) became 2013’s David Guetta, but so much betta (if you will). Like Guetta, Avicii took advantage of the popularity of his disc by remixing himself True: Avicii by Avicii (Island), sub-titled “This Is (Also) My Truth.” Avicii , like Guetta, employs guest vocalists, but what he does with them is far more thrilling. Opener “Wake Me Up” finds modern soul singer Aloe Blacc in a country bar, complete with acoustic guitar and electronic beats; disco for the NASCAR set. The country/club theme continues on “Hey Brother,” featuring vocals by Dan Tyminski (of Alison Krauss and O, Brother Where Art Thou? fame) and the addictive “Addicted To You,” sung by southwestern songbird Audra Mae. Avicii breaks up the mountaintop momentum with hardcore dance-floor workouts such as “Dear Boy,” the ballroom blitz of “Shame On Me,” Adam Lambert’s stand-up performance on “Lay Me Down” and the twisted retro soul screamer “Liar Liar.”
Foster The People drop the ball with a resounding thud on its less than super second album Supermodel (Star Time/Columbia). More or less abandoning the dance music vibe in favor of a 21st century psychedelic sound, Foster The People sounds like they are fostering a new direction. “Best Friend” comes closest to recapturing that dancefloor energy, and if you apply yourself, you could probably find a way to move to “Coming of Age” and “Are You What You Want To Be?”
the notwist
Twelve years have passed between the release of The Notwist’s best album (Neon Golden) and their latest best work, Close To The Glass (Sub Pop). You could say that it was worth the wait. Their non-traditional approach to dance and electronic music on song such as panicky flood of “Kong,” the exotic title tune, the glitchy “From One Wrong Place to the Next” and “Run Run Run,” makes the dance-floor an exciting place to be again. But let’s hope they won’t take so long between brilliant albums.
For a more complete list of artists, visit livingoutli.org. You can also listen to their songs on our monthly spotify playlist
Afrojack
Everything about Afrojack’s Forget The World (Wall/Def Jam) sounds like a rip-off of Avicii, a rip-off of David Guetta, a rip-off of Daft Punk, and so on. If any artist CD signals trouble in the electronic dance music realm, it would be this one. Male and female strippers may be the only ones who will be able to appreciate the way the songs climb and drop, whip and zip, perfect for pelvic thrusting and grinding and pole climbing. It’s a shame, too, because this guy actually has a Grammy for remixing, not to mention friends in high places, including Snoop Dogg (get it?), Sting, Chris Brown, Wiz Khalifa and others.
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living healthy Ask Chris
by Chris mcnamee
ask
Chris
Summer Vacation: Q and A Dear Chris, Our nine year old son has shown signs that he might be transgender. Although we are fine with this, we are afraid that his femininity is going to cause him to be bullied at camp this summer. How can we protect him without seeming like alarmist parents who anticipate the worst? – D and L, East Meadow
Dear D and L, It’s no secret that children who appear to be gay or transgender are often the targets of harassment. Having a frank discussion with the director regarding a camp’s policy on bullying before enrolling your child is always a good place to start. But seeking out a camp that actually caters to gender-different kids might be an even better solution. Camp Aranu’tiq is one such place. Their website explains the camp’s mission to “…build confidence, resilience, and community for transgender and gender-variant youth and their families through camp experiences.” Although I do not know enough about this camp to endorse it, I do recommend contacting the staff there and inquiring about their programs.
Dear Chris, Our large family includes children of several different races. People often stare at us in public, especially at the beach. Some feel compelled to ask very personal and inappropriate questions, such as “Are they adopted?” or “Are those all your children?” Is there a witty comeback that can make the point that the question was offensive without sounding nasty and exacerbating the situation? – N and M, Massapequa Dear N and M, Your question immediately reminded me of a similar situation involving my cousin Dawn, herself the mother of six adopted children of various skin colors. When a stranger asked, “Are they all yours?” Dawn calmly responded, “Why, yes they are. With six different fathers.” Her response delighted the kids and immediately alleviated any awkwardness they might have felt. I suggest that you have a response like Dawn’s ready for the next time someone lets their natural curiosity trump their good manners.
Dear Chris, My husband and I were big into the bar scene in the late 90’s. Ten years ago we both got sober. Since then, we have been fine with serving alcohol to guests. We recently adopted a 2 year old girl and have decided that we do not want our daughter exposed to alcohol in our home. With our annual 4th of July Bash coming, is there a way to tactfully tell our family and friends about this change? – T and T, Setauket Dear T and T, Alcoholism has been a problem in the gay community for decades. In fact, in an Op-Ed Column in The Advocate last March, writer Mark Rosenberg stated that, “According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, roughly 20% of all Americans binge drink. However, when compared to their heterosexual counterparts, LGBT people are twice as likely to binge drink and five times as likely to drive while intoxicated,” a very alarming statistic. I am certain that your family and friends are happy that you got your problems under control before becoming parents to your daughter. But that does not necessarily mean they will be happy about your decision to ban alcohol from your home. For many people, alcohol is an important part of summer fun, and your new rule may impact their enjoyment of your parties. Keeping that in mind, be sure to let your guests know ahead of time that your home is now an alcohol-free zone so that they can accept or decline your invitations accordingly.
about the author: Chris mcnamee has a b.S. in Family Services/Child Studies, a M.A. in Intersex Conditions and Gender Identity Disorders in Children and Adolescents and is the Former owner/operator of Kid ‘n Kaboodle Child Care as well as the Former Coordinator for Long Island Family Connections, Gay Parents Support Network.
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living healthy wellness
by jennifer nyx
The good news is that you don’t need to make a drastic change in your lifestyle to begin making a profound difference in your health and your life. Here are 5 quick changes you can make today to get yourself feeling good, looking good and on your way to lifelong lasting changes.
5 QUICK TIPS FOR A
HEALTHIER
SEXIER YOU
1
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Green is Good
Get Moving
If there were only one thing you could do for your health to make a truly noticeable difference right away, and a lasting difference for the rest of your life, learn how to make and enjoy a daily green smoothie. Green smoothies are the easiest meals in the world to make. You basically just throw everything in a blender and press the button. The possibilities and combinations are endless if you really want to be adventurous. Here are some green suggestions to start making your green smoothie: kale, celery, avocado, kiwi, apples, and lime. Want to lose weight? Eat your greens.
Our bodies are meant to move. Purposeful movement and physical activity releases endorphins throughout our bodies that enhance our sense of well-being and result in weight loss. Walking, cycling, jogging, running, swimming, and kickboxing are all great outdoor activities that get your mody moving. If outdoor activities aren’t for you the stair climber, eliptical, stationary bicycle and treadmill at the gym give you the same motions your body would make doing the same activities outdoors. Remember to always stay hydrated otherwise cramping and exhaustion can occur.
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Incorporate these quick tips for a healthier, sexier YOU!!
3
4
5
Cut Liquid Calories
H20, Your BFF
Healthy Choices
Start decreasing your liquid sugar intake. Many studies actually point to the fact that it’s our drinking habits more than our eating habits that pack on the calories and the pounds, as sugar is proven to slow down your metabolism. Many are notorious for walking around the office with a cup of coffee or tea in the mornings, often with cream and sugar. Many follow in the afternoons with soda or energy drinks to keep going, filled with additives, preservatives, high fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners. Alcohol is also full of calories. Limit your intake so you can start Hotel Indigo_Living Out_halfpage_v2_NO BLEED.pdf looking and feeling good!
We simply don’t drink enough of the one and only drink Mother Nature provides us completely free of charge: water. The functions of water in the human body are vital! Water transports nutrients and oxygen into cells, moisturizes the air in lungs, increases your metabolism, protects your vital organs, helps your organs to absorb nutrients better, regulates body temperature, detoxifies, protects and moisturizes our joints. Drinking water is the key to staying hydrated so you feel less fatigue and have more energy to get through your day. Start drinking…….more 1 1/22/13 water, that is! 3:35 PM
By introducing new and healthier nutritional choices to your daily routine, you will automatically “crowd out” the not so good stuff. You will start hanging out with better quality foods, you will find yourself in fresh new company and you won’t want to hang around your old foods anymore, because you are in with a better crowd now. No one has ever said “what a healthy meal that was, I totally regret eating this way”. Food changes us, food changes everything, food is your friend. About the author: Jennifer Nyx is a Holistic Health Coach and Personal Trainer dedicated to support her clients with their health goals and empower them to make lasting changes in their behavior and lifestyle.
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living smart Travel
by Joey Amato
Out Destination: Columbus When it comes to emerging LGBT meccas look no further than Columbus, Ohio. The Midwestern town is not only home to an energetic culinary and arts community, but also a thriving LGBT community, containing dozens of entertainment options to satisfy any taste and budget. One of the most impressive things about the Arch City is the overwhelming friendliness of the people. Wherever we visited during our stay, we were greeted with open arms and a friendly smile. On this visit, I wanted to focus on Columbus’s much bragged about culinary community. New restaurants are sprouting up around the city and garnering national acclaim for their innovative concepts and menus. The greatest highlight is an establishment simply called The Kitchen, where guests can participate in the preparation of their dinner from start to finish. The Kitchen is open to private parties as well as individuals who make reservations in advance of their visit.
(ABOVE) PREPARING A DISH AT THE KITCHEN
Guests are encouraged to grab an apron and a sharpened knife and help in the preparation of everything from the appetizers to the entrees and desserts.
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(RIGHT) PART OF AN EXHIBIT AT THE PIZZUTI COLLECTION; (LEFT) THE SKYLINE OF COLUMBUS, OHIO
On my particular visit, I helped prepare a glorious crab salad made with fresh avocado, lump crab and tossed in a light citrus vinaigrette dressing. The recipes are presented to guests and the ingredients are already portioned out, leaving little room for error for even the most novice chef. After the hard work is complete, guests can grab a cocktail at the bar and converge around a large table where conversation with friends or strangers is highly encouraged. Just think of it as a large Thanksgiving dinner for about 40. A quick glance at the bar, and guests may notice a brand of liquor called OYO and the bartender quickly explains that it is a local product and gives us a sampling of their vodka and whiskey. My favorite of the bunch is the OYO Honey Vanilla Bean Vodka which contains aromas of marshmallow and honeycomb. Middle West Sprits, creator of the OYO brand, opens their distillery to visitors to view their production process and taste all the varieties they produce. For beer lovers, head to North High Brewing, a unique microbrewery which gives customers the
chance to become brew masters for the day, using North High’s proprietary brew-on-site equipment. Brunch is a big deal in Columbus and the top choice amongst the locals is The Pearl. The restaurant offers traditional selections such as Chicken and Waffles with warm blueberry sauce and Ohio honey and Huevos Rancheros with chorizo, guacamole and smoked chili black beans. For a lighter brunch, The Pearl prides themselves in their selection of fresh oysters and seafood. Columbus is home to a large Italian population with a great assortment of restaurants highlighting the cuisine of various regions of Italy. In the heart of Victorian Village lies Basi Italia, a cozy establishment offering an innovative twist on Mediterranean cuisine. The eclectic menu offers something for every palate. Starters worth noting include Parmesan Crème Brulee prepared with black pepper focaccia crisps and Crispy Fried Oysters accompanied by a citrus-saffron aioli and fried parsley. Entrees include a combination of delectable pasta, meat and seafood selections. I recommend
trying the Prosciutto Wrapped Scallops with sweet potatoes, spinach and pomegranate blood orange or for meat lovers, the Roasted Beef Short Rib with mashed potatoes, caramelized onions and Italian tomato is to die for. If you have time in-between your culinary adventure, swing by the Pizzuti Collection, located in the heart of Columbus’ gayborhood. The space offers a presentation of contemporary art from the private collection of Ron and Ann Pizzuti. Opening in September, the Collection presents NOWism: Abstraction Today, a thought-provoking exhibition of twenty-first century painting, sculpture, video and furnishings representing the newest abstract work from today’s best artists. The show will include more than 100 works spanning all three floors of the space. Columbus is a hidden gem that people should venture to in the next year. Even the biggest New York, Miami, and San Francisco fans will not be disappointed. Columbus offers a big city feel with Midwestern charm.
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living smart
recipes
Summer
Barbecue
recipes
Appetizers Beef “pops” with pineapple
Guacamole
Ingredients: 1 1/2 pounds beef fillet, cut into 3/4-inch cubes (about 40 cubes), 1 (2-pound) pineapple, cut into 3/4-inch pieces (about 40 pieces), 20 (8-inch) wooden or bamboo skewers, soaked in water for 30 minutes, Salt and freshly ground black pepper Directions: Place the beef in the medium bowl with the parsley sauce. Toss well until the beef is coated with the mixture. Cover and refrigerate for 3 hours. Place a grill pan over medium-high heat or preheat a gas or charcoal grill. Thread the skewers starting with a piece of pineapple, then a cube of beef. Repeat with another piece of pineapple and another cube of beef. Continue with the remaining skewers. Grill the skewers for 2 to 3 minutes each side (for medium rare) or until desired doneness. Season with salt and pepper. To serve, arrange the Beef Pops on a serving platter.
In a large bowl toss 3 avocados (halved, seeded and peeled) with the juice of 1 lime. Drain, reserve the lime juice. Using a potato masher add 1/2 tsp kosher salt, 1/2 tsp cumin, and 1/2 tsp cayenne and mash. Then, fold in 1/2 medium onion (diced), 1/2 jalapeno (seeded and minced), 2 diced tomatoes, 1 tbsp chopped cilantro, and 1 clove minced garlic. Add 1 tbsp of lime juice. Let sit at room temperature for 1 hour, serve.
entreés
desserts campfire chicken
Best Ever BBQ Ribs Preheat oven to 350°. Combine 2 1/2 tbsp kosher salt, 1 tbsp dry mustard, 1 tbsp paprika, 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper and 1/2 tsp ground black pepper in a small bowl. Take 8 pounds of either baby back ribs (8 racks) or spareribs (4 racks) and place each rack on a double layer of foil; sprinkle rub all over ribs. Wrap racks individually and divide between 2 baking sheets. Bake ribs until very tender but not falling apart, about 2 hours for baby backs and 3 hours for spareribs. Carefully unwrap ribs; pour any juices from foil into a 4-cup heatproof measuring cup; reserve juices. Let ribs cool completely. Build a medium-hot fire in a charcoal grill, or heat a gas grill to high. Add broth or water to rib juices, if needed, to measure 1 1/2 cups. Whisk in 1 1/2 cups barbecue sauce to blend. Grill ribs, basting with barbecue sauce mixture and turning frequently, until lacquered and charred in places and heated through, 7-10 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board; cut between ribs to separate. Transfer to a platter and serve with additional barbecue sauce.
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In a large bowl, or large Ziploc bag, combine 1 pound boneless chicken (cubed), 2 diced onions, 8 ounces sliced mushrooms, 1 sliced yellow pepper, 1 sliced red pepper, 4 cloves chopped garlic, and 4 small potatoes (cubed). Pour in 1/4 cup olive oil and the juice of 1 lemon, mix well. Evenly divide the mixture between 4 large sheets of aluminum foil. Top each with another sheet of foil, and roll up the edges tightly. Wrap each packet again, securely in another sheet of foil to double wrap. Cook in the hot coals of a campfire, or on medium heat on a grill, until the chicken is opaque and the potatoes are tender, approx 40 minutes.
peach almond crumble
Topping:1/2 cup rolled oats, 1/3 cup packed brown sugar, 1/4 cup sliced almonds, 3 tbsp butter, softened, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp salt Filling: 6 cups sliced peaches (about 4 to 6 peaches), 1/4 cup packed brown sugar, 2 tbsp cornstarch, 1 tsp almond extract, 1/8 tsp nutmeg, vanilla ice cream, for serving (optional) Directions: For the topping: Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. In a small bowl, combine the oats, sugar, almonds, butter, cinnamon and salt and stir with a fork until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs; set aside. For the filling: In a medium bowl, stir together the peaches, sugar, cornstarch, almond extract and nutmeg and transfer to an 8- or 9-inch shallow baking dish. Crumble the topping over the peach mixture. Bake until the filling is hot and bubbly and the topping is golden brown, 40 to 50 minutes. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream if desired.
Strawberry Shortcake Ingredients: 3 cups all-purpose flour, 1/4 cup white sugar, 4 tsp baking powder, 3/4 tsp cream of tartar, 1 cup butter, 2/3 cup heavy cream, 1 egg, beaten, 3 cups sliced fresh strawberries, 3 tbsp white sugar Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). In a large bowl, mix flour, 1/4 cup sugar, baking powder and cream of tartar. Cut in butter with pastry blender or two knives. Stir in cream and egg. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead 2 minutes. Press into a half-inch thick sheet. Cut into squares. Place on baking sheets. Bake in preheated oven 20 minutes, or until golden. Sprinkle 3 tablespoons sugar over sliced berries. Let shortcakes cool before splitting and filling with sugared berries.
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living smart
what’s the t?
by Mike troina
new Games coverage
Ubisoft presented many new game announcements, ranging from demos, to release dates, to future titles. It was the only developer that had their own conference in which they announced games such as Tom Clancy’s: The Divison, which was voted by few websites as one of the top games there, Assassin’s Creed: Unity (above), Just Dance 2015, and Far Cry 4. However, their conference was more for sales numbers and for investors to know the direction that the Canadian company is heading. For those who want to know about the new Assassin’s Creed: Unity, it is coming out at its annual release date of October 28th, 2014 and it is set in Paris during the French Revolution. A new addition to this game and the future of the Assassin’s Creed series is that of cooperative multiplayer, where up to 4-players can team up and accomplish missions together. Previous Assassins Creed games only allowed you to play multiplayer in a versus/hunt mode online with other players. The new co-op mode was not announced for online or local only play as of yet.
Microsoft’s new Xbox President Phil Spencer announced a bundle for a “Kinect-less Xbox One” at the price of $400. This may be a direct response to people on the internet claiming they never wanted a Kinect 2.0 or a business move to get at Sony’s PS4 price, which coincidentally is $400 without their camera. Following that announcement Microsoft updated us with news on Halo 5 (top), in that it is coming in 2015; however the multiplayer Beta will be available in December when it launches a code with Halo HD: The Masterchief Collection. The Masterchief Collection is Halo 1-4 all redone in HD, only for the Xbox One, and features a new multiplayer that combines all four of the Halo’s games maps and mulitplayer modes together. Following that announcement Microsoft and Insomnaic showed off their other exclusive content, Sunset Overdrive (above), set to launch this holiday season. Sunset Overdrive is a unique 3rd-person shooter, where players fight hoards of zombies and aliens, with their unique yet hip style weapons. Sunset Overdrive looks to be a big player this upcoming 2014 holiday season. Microsoft also teased attendees with a bit of their Project Spark, where you can create a game in the game (the beta is and has been out) along with a new Fable game dubbed Fable Legends. Fable, which looks fantastic, has been a staple semi-RPG series on the Xbox and it looks to continue its partnership with Microsoft.
For the PS4 we got a teaser trailer for the new Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, as well as a surprise when LittleBigPlanet 3 was announced, especially when it was said that Sumo Digital is handling it and not Media Molecule. Bungie’s Destiny (above), was on full display for all Playstation fans, even though the game is multiplatform. First off, Sony announced a white PS4 (must buy) bundle with Destiny and Bungie went on to announce exclusive DLC only for PS4 users (just to spite Microsoft after their split). The new shooter looks to be a mix of Halo and Borderlands, as it brings back the classic Halo feel and controls, but the gameplay has a mix of classes with different attributes and a very team-orientated focus.
Warners Bros big announcement came as a surprise: Batman Arkham Knight (left) will be delayed and will only be available on next-generation systems (sorry PS3 and Xbox 360 users) and Mortal Kombat X. Lastly, to the end the “none Big 3” section of E3 SEGA was there to show the new design of Sonic the Hedgehog for his upcoming cartoon series on Cartoon Network, as well as his new 3DS and Wii U-exclusive games, Sonic Boom. 28
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You are not alone, you are…FREE To Be FREE To Be is a community of men and women dedicated to socialization, advocacy, and education. We are a support network that provides a safe environment to grow together.
“Disability Is A Matter Of Perception. If You Can Do Just One Thing Well, You Are Needed By Someone” -Martina Navratilova
Socialization/Group Meetings FREE To Be provides an engaging space for GLBTQ individuals and friends, and we encourage all who are interested to come and join us. Meetings Include Inspirational guest speakers, workshops, open discussions, social events, and community involvement. Next Meeting Date: July 29th and August 26th, 2014 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637
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living smart
finance
the road to homeownership: how to save $20,000 in two years The past two issues of Living Out have covered what to know before you apply for a homeloan and when you should apply, along with what to expect. In this issue, the road to homeownership covers how you can make your dream of owning a reality. Making the move from renter to homeowner is challenging for nearly everyone, and the
highest hurdle for most first-time buyers is saving enough money for a down payment. If your No. 1 priority in the next few years is to become a homeowner, you’ll need to make some aggressive moves to cut your spending, boost your income, or both. To get started, set a timeline and break up your savings goals. To save $20,000 in two
years, you’ll need to save $833 a month for the next 24 months. To save $30,000 in two years, you’ll need to save $1250 a month for the next 24 months. Create an account that will hold only savings designated for your new home. This can help keep you organized and track your progress.
Start Big Stay Committed to Buying If you’re truly committed to buying a home and can handle some big changes in lifestyle, you could move in with family for a defined period of time. You could also move to a smaller apartment or if you have a spare room, take in a renter until you save what you need. Another possible lifestyle change is to bring in more income by working overtime if possible or taking on another job.
Small Steps Add Up to Big Savings Finding other expenditures to trim requires creating a budget to see where your money is going. Some of the easier expenses to reduce or eliminate include new clothes, shoes, and other stuff; daily expenses like your morning specialty coffee; monthly expenses like a Netflix subscription; and gas and parking costs (consider carpooling or take public transportation). Keep in mind when you’re in super-saver mode to ask yourself out loud, ‘Do I need this or want it?’ before you buy anything.
Take a critical look at all of your expenditures -- gym memberships, vacations, entertainment -- to see where you can cut back to meet your savings goal. While you don’t want to drain all the enjoyment out of your life, you can keep spending in check without sacrificing much. If you’re contributing more to your 401(k) than the company will match, temporarily scale back your contribution to the company match for a couple of years and put that extra cash in your down payment fund.
Stash Your Cash Options for Saving Money When you’re saving for a short-term goal, it’s recommended you stick with a low-risk investment such as a high-yield account or a CD. A credit union or an online bank usually offers better interest rates on savings than most traditional banks.
While it is tempting to invest your downpayment savings for a higher return, be aware that there’s always a risk that an investment will lose money. The rate of return on your down payment savings is less important than making sure the money is available when you need it.
Whether your goal is to buy a house or meet some other financial obligation, you’ll need discipline and an aggressive savings plan to achieve it. But following the savings tips above will “help” put your goal within reach.
To read Parts 1 & 2 of the Road to Homeownership, or for other financial articles, please visit our website, livingoutli.org 30
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living smart
Beauty
by Rheesa Persaud
Summer Beauty: Five Tips for Flawless Makeup
Use coconut oil as a moisturizer. I have found nothing works better for moisturizing my skin than coconut oil! Speaking of sunscreen, you want to make sure you are protecting your hair from the drying sun. Products like Tresemme’s Climate Control Spray have UVA/UVB protection.
Use a sunscreen made for your face. Using sunscreen made for your body on your face is a big no-no! I broke out terribly, save yourself the trouble and pick up some face SPF.
Use brow powder instead of gel in the summer if you can. Just like using your primer, you don’t want the sun melting your brow gel off.
Always wear a primer. This will help prevent the sun from melting your makeup into every crevice of your face.
“I thought all funeral homes conduct cremations the same. Boy, was I wrong.” Many people think all cremation providers are alike, until they hear terrible stories in the news about families who weren’t treated right. Our funeral home is the exclusive provider in our area to offer Cremation with Confidence™. This means we commit to a 10-step process in taking care of cremation. We are so committed, we offer the Cremation with Confidence™ Guarantee. Having served families for many years, we know how important it is to have peace of mind. Here at Moloney Family Funeral Homes, we have taken care of all the details.
YES! Please send me a Cremation with Confidence™ brochure along with cremation information for my family.
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Ask for the Cremation with Confidence™ brochure.
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points of view op-ed
by rev. irene monroe
Boston’s LGBTQ People of Color Take Pride in Health Last December, the New York Times came out with a front-page article on HIV/AIDS among African American and Latino “men who have sex with men.” And its opening words were both shocking and unsparing: “The AIDS epidemic in America is rapidly becoming concentrated among poor, young black and Hispanic men who have sex with men.”
And it’s that feeling of belonging and being in our own space that BASK successfully creates among its revelers that it also showcased healthcare workers to talk about HIV/ AIDS prevention and safe sex. And these healthcare workers looked just like the attendants.
The news that is too often not reported or stays under the radar is the proactive steps this demographic group is taking to stem its spreadnot only among themselves, but the entire community, too. And one of the reasons for not knowing what these men are doing to stem the epidemic is because their ways of reaching out to their brothers and sisters are both culturally creative and unconventional.
“The stigma and shame of HIV/AIDS still runs deep in LGBTQ communities of color” For example, at this year’s Boston LGBTQ people of color Pride, flyers and pamphlets about HIV/AIDS prevention were dispersed at the LGBTQ people of color Pride Picnic -known among us folks as BASK. Going on its second year, BASK draws LGBTQ people of color from all over New England. For the all day extravaganza, which showcased musicians, poets, artists, poetry jams, dancers, and of course – our beautiful selves – you were advised to “bring a blanket, pop a squat, and stay awhile!” “It’s a way to celebrate our lived experiences and to take up space in our community, a space that feels like us and is for us” activist Nichole Herring stated.
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in U.S. medical schools, and even less in residency training programs. There needs to be a greater focus on LGBTQ health in medical education so that we as providers can learn about, care for and advocate for our LGBTQ patients, and create comfort zones that enable them to thrive physically and emotionally.”
Boston’s LGBTQ people of color Pride kick-off event was the Hispanic Black Gay Coalition (HBGC) health expo, “Our Health Matters, Too!” Corey Yarbrough, Executive Director of HBGC shared his reason for the expo stating, “The health expo was organized to provide tangible and relevant knowledge for improving the mental, emotional, and physical health of Black and Latino LGBTQ people. The space was also designed to connect community members to local agencies who provide health and social support services that are LGBTQ welcoming and inclusive.” The gymnasium of the Epiphany School in Dorchester was filled with health booths, workshops, exhibits and screenings. There were workshops on Sex Positivity, Anal and Prostate Health, Trans Health, Domestic Violence, and LGBTQ Depression, to name just a few. And there were screenings for the following: STDs, vision, hypertension, and HIV/AIDS. And, needless to say, the community came out. While it might seem odd that LGBTQ people of color would prefer
going to a school gym or a Pride picnic for health check-ups and information than to a hospital, the reasons are unfortunately rooted in the systemic healthcare disparities due not only to race discrimination, but also to gender identity and sexual orientation as well. Massachusetts is known as queerfriendly and for its outstanding hospitals across the country. People travel from other states and countries to be cared for. But adequate, culturally competent, and compassion healthcare for its LGBTQ population is gravely lacking. Dr. Thea L. James, the only African American lesbian ER physician at Boston Medical Center who was at the health expo expounded on some of reasons why: “Most physicians are unaware that LGBTQ people have higher rates of substance use, suicide, psychiatric disorders, youth homelessness, obesity, tobacco use, and disease. They are unaware that this is a result of perpetual discrimination and stress, stigma, lack of rights, victimization, and low rates of health insurance coverage. There is no standard LGBTQ curriculum
A study published in Academic Emergency Medicine last month titled “The Prevalence of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Health Education and Training in Emergency Medicine Residency Programs,” expounds even further. The stigma and shame of HIV/ AIDS still runs deep in our LGBTQ communities of color. And they both exacerbate all the concomitant social and psychological ills Dr. James mentioned our brothers and sisters are at high risk for. And “if a youth has nothing to live for then why would they care about their medical care,” Lawrence Vinson III stated. Vinson knows this population well, providing an invaluable service to our community. As the Youth Program Coordinator of the SMILE Linkage to Care Program, Vinson provides connection to medical care and psychosocial support for Boston youth ages 12-24 who are newly diagnosed and are having difficulties staying actively engaged with their care. While some of Vinson’s youth did – without prodding – walk into the Sidney Borum Jr. Health Center, many more got there because of the HBGC Health Expo and LGBTQ people of color Pride Picnic. LIVING OUT
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points of view trans-missions
by gwen smith
A Great Body of Work In the days of my youth, after I first heard of the existence of transgender people via the popular media, I went to my local library in an attempt to find more information. I spent long days buried in dusty card catalogs and primitive microfiche machines, focusing heavily on entries between “transportation” and “transvaal” for anything that spoke to me. At that time, there really was little even in the biggest libraries, and the small community library that lay two blocks from my home simply did not carry anything of the sort. There wasn’t much of anything there. At the time, the majority of texts you might find out there were slim, and mostly focused on autobiographies. First and foremost was The Christine Jorgensen Story, followed up by Jan Morris’ Conundrum and Renee Richards’ Second Serve. It wouldn’t
be until I was well into my 20s before I would even see a copy of these books. These books, naturally, focused on the experiences of their subjects. While the Jorgensen book is a classic, the Richards’ book is much less of one. All three tell – by design – a limited narrative based around the author’s own experiences. They tell their readers their histories, but they don’t necessarily tell their readers where to find resources or information beyond what little the author provided. What I really wanted was a tome that could tell me more about my experiences and me. I was seeking a book that could give me resources and information to prepare me for living my life as a transgender woman. That book was simply not in existence.
It was still some time before I could locate a fairly local support group and other resources. There
It is not a book written by neither a non-transgender medical professional nor an academic, but speaks directly to its transgender peers. was no Internet at the time, no “search engine” with which I could readily find nearby resources. In my neighborhood, you found ads for the local trans support groups in the back pages of the “Swinging Singles” rags sold in the seedier parts of town. Between then and now, the transgender community has blossomed. The rise of the aforementioned Internet allowed people from across the country to quickly and easily network with each other. Transgender people began to organize, began to reach out in new ways, and began to work with larger LBGT groups for inclusion. Support groups grew up. Popular culture still lagged behind, but even that began to slowly shift. More books came out. Ground was broken with texts like Kate Bornstein’s Gender Outlaw, Loren Cameron’s Body Alchemy, and Leslie Feinberg’s Transgender Warriors, amongst others started the trend. It continues with Janet Mock’s Redefining Realness and Jennifer Finney Boylan’s She’s Not There. Still, even with those great, powerful texts, one thing remained lacking. There was no single, solid compendium of resources. That changes now. The other day, a sizable box appeared on my doorstep. In it, was a thick, softbound tome containing nearly 650 pages of detailed information about being trans. The book in question is Trans Bodies, Trans Selves edited by Laura EricksonSchroth and published by Oxford University Press. The groundbreaking feminist-created tome Our Bodies, Ourselves inspired the book. That text, published in 1971, was the first text on women’s health written by women and for women. Borrowing that
notion, this book is truly written by transgender people, and designed for transgender people. It is not a book written by neither a nontransgender medical professional nor an academic, but speaks directly to its transgender peers. It also provides a wide variety of voices: rather than suffer from the unavoidable self-focus of an autobiography, it provides space for a great variety of transgender people to share their knowledge and their experiences. I mentioned the thickness of the book above, and there is very little wasted space in those pages. Designed to encourage people to flip through and read at their leisure, the book includes sections titled “who we are,” “living as ourselves,” “health and wellness,” “our relationships and families,” “life stages,” and “claiming our power.” Each section is further broken down into a handful of subsections, and further peppered with boxed sections written by transfolks who speak well to the sections in question. This is the book I wanted to find when I was that young kid prowling the local library branch. It was the text I could never find, but always wanted to. This book would have made my own transition that much easier, and would have given me a sense of community that I simply could not find near me. That said, I want to tell you that this book also teaches me today. It touches on topics I’ve never seen put in print, and talks about them in ways that are honest and refreshing. I don’t feel “talked down” to or patronized by the writers or editor. Each section is, in my opinion, pure gold. I think of how much has chanced for the transgender community since my days in the library stacks, let alone when I was managing the earliest days of my transition. The community has dramatically changed since then. I have to assume that the next decade or two will be equally transformative. I lack a reliable crystal ball, but I suspect we will continue to embrace new mediums, and continue to grow and mature as a community. This book, though, I feel may be a large component of our community as it goes forward. I want to see this text continue to evolve like its feminist counterpart – and I want to see it in our libraries and support groups for decades to come. It may be a key to our very future.
Gwen Smith is proud to be named on page 581. You’ll also find her at www.gwensmith.com
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