Issue 6, Volume 2: May 2014 by Living Out

In THis Issue May 2014 - Volume 2, Issue 6 1 Cover 3 In this issue

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6 in the news: national 8 in the news: interNational 9 Out on LI:

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Network news 12 out Front: Cameron Diaz 14 Screen Savor: From Stage to Screen

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15 the 2014 Equality awards gala journal 43 Calendar of events 45 Be Scene: Night of Noise 2014 47 Living Healthy:

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Parenting 48 Living Healthy: HIV/AIDS in 2014 50 Travel: Knoxville

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Living Out is produced by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network

52 Finance: The Road to homeownership 54 Points of view: Rev. Irene Monroe

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Contributors Joey Amato, Chris Azzopardi, Dr. Bill Blazey, Chris McNamee, Rev. Irene Monroe, Mike Murphy, Rachel Roth, Diana RusinakAcevedo, Gregg Shapiro

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In the news

national News

By Rachel Roth

Judge ends ohio gay marriage ban Federal Judge Timothy Black ruled that refusing to recognize gay marriage violates constitutional rights and is "unenforceable in all circumstances." An appeal by the state is already in the works, arguing that Ohio has sovereign right to ban gay marriage. In 2004 voters overwhelmingly said yes to ban gay marriage in the state. The order set forth by Judge Black doesn’t force Ohio to allow marriages to be performed in the state. If he decides to stay his broader ruling it

would allow gay couples in Ohio to get the same benefits as any other married couple. These benefits would include property rights and the right to make medical decisions for their partner. Attorney General Mike DeWine declined to comment on possible outcomes of the states appeal but told The Associated Press that he believes marriage is between a man and a woman and Ohio voters decided the same when they passed the statewide gay marriage ban.

Tennessee to recognize A few same-sex marriages

Mich. Married Couples to receive Federal Benefits

A federal judge in Tennessee issued an injunction ordering the state of Tennessee to recognize the marriages of three same-sex couples. In the order, U.S. District Judge Aleta Trauger wrote, "all signs indicate that, in the eyes of the United States Constitution, the plaintiffs' marriages will be placed on an equal footing with those of heterosexual couples and that proscriptions against same-sex marriage will soon become a footnote in the annals of American history."

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder vowed that the federal government would recognize gay and lesbian marriages in Michigan even though the state won’t. More than 300 couples were wed after a US district judge declared the state’s ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional. The Michigan Attorney General, Bill Schuette, put the kibosh on gay marriages shortly after and Governor Rick Snyder said the state would not recognize the newlyweds' marriage.

Teen couple denied prom entry together Two New York City high school students are allegedly being blocked from attending their prom together because one of them is transgender. Anais Celeni, a senior at Martin Luther High School in Queens, NY, claims she was told by school officials that her boyfriend’s "transition was unconventional" and "not beneficial." Her boyfriend, Nathaniel Baez, says that he intends to plan a private prom event for his girlfriend if authorities do not change their minds by the day of the prom, May 22. School officials have so far declined to comment. 6

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Westboro Baptist Church founder dies

Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church died at 84-years-old. His anti-gay demonstrations began in 1991 and gained infamy in the late '90s when he and his followers picketed Matthew Shepherd's funeral. The church has picketed over 53,000 events, including Mepham High School in 2003, brandishing signs that say "God Hates Fags." Under his leadership, the congregation has advocated for gays and lesbians to be put to death. Phelps was frequently called "the most hated man in America" and The Washington Post noted that even the Ku Klux Klan found Phelps' "bigotry" distasteful. The Southern Poverty Law Center called the WBC "arguably the most obnoxious and rabid hate group in America."

Beer companies dump NYC, Boston parades Sam Adams, Heineken, and Guinness declined to sponsor Saint Patrick’s Day parades in New York and Boston in protest of anti-gay policies. Lesbian and gay organizations were banned from participating in the events, including MassEquality, one of Massachusetts' largest gay activist groups. Parade organizers justified their decision to exclude openly gay participants because it would "conflict with their Roman Catholic heritage." New York Mayor Bill de Blasio and Boston Mayor Marty Walsh also declined to march in their cities respective parades.

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In the news

Supreme court Rejects Gay wedding appeals case The U.S. Supreme Court announced that it wouldn’t hear a case involving a New Mexico photography business that refused to photograph the commitment ceremony of a lesbian couple in 2006. The company was seeking an appeal, asking the U.S. Supreme Court to consider the lawsuit based on First Amendment protections. The husband-and-wife photographers refused to work for the lesbian couple stating, "they did not want to create images expressing messages about marriage that conflict with their religious beliefs." The New Mexico Supreme Court had already ruled that Elane Photography violated the state's nondiscrimination protections. The photographers violated New Mexico’s Human Rights Act by refusing services "in the same way as if it had refused to photograph a wedding between people of difference races." The company was ordered to pay over seven thousand dollars in attorneys’ fees.

Trans “Pioneer” Dead at 51-years-old Christie Lee Van De Putte, a transgender woman considered to be a pioneer after she challenged a Texas court ruling which invalidated her marriage to her late husband, passed away at age 51. A cause of death was not announced. She was a lifelong resident on San Antonio, Texas where she was a hairstylist who owned her own salon. Van De Putte made history as the plaintiff of a wrongful death lawsuit in 1999. Several courts verified that she was ineligible to receive survivor benefits because she had male chromosomes and was "male" at the time of her marriage. While Van De Putte was ultimately unsuccessful in her legal efforts, Texas law now allows a

Texas school rejects child with two moms A lesbian couple in Texas alleges that their child was denied admittance to a school because of their sexual orientation. After touring the New Beginnings Montessori School in Bedford, Tracy and Dawn Keller said they were promised a spot for their 3-year-old son. According to WFAA-TV (Dallas-Fort Worth), that offer was rescinded shortly after. Shamain Webster, the school’s director, reportedly told the

SSA Updates Transgender Policies The Social Security Administration has issued updated guidelines regarding transgender individuals' eligibility for survivor benefits. This change – which will make it easier for trans people to receive benefits - resulted from a case involving a 92-year old transgender widow. A pilot and veteran of World War II, Robina Asti has lived as a woman for more than 30 years but was denied benefits for two years because she was born a man. Under its old policy, all cases that involved transgender individuals’

person, who has physically and legally transitioned, to enter into a legally binding marriage with someone of the opposite sex.

marriage-based claims were sent to the SSA’s regional chief counsel for further review and scrutiny. Since the administration determined that Asti was "legally male" at the time of her marriage she was initially denied the benefits she was entitled to. In the new guidelines, the SSA expressed its core position that gender transition doesn’t affect the legal validity of marriage. The change means it no longer matters whether one was married prior to gender transition or after and transgender individuals will no longer be subjected to the heightened review process.

Openly Gay Bishop Leads Prayer at white house easter gathering After the fifth annual Easter program ended President Obama gave an impromptu invitation to Bishop Gene Robinson to close the gathering with a prayer. Robinson is the Episcopal Church’s first openly gay bishop. While his remarks weren’t caught on camera, he told MSNBC it was a very moving moment. His prayer included blessings for the nation, President, the poor and the oppressed. When asked about the Catholic Church and how close they were to truly opening their doors to the GLBT community, Robinson replied, "I think we will see even

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women that their son wouldn’t be enrolled in the school because their lifestyle is "against [her] religion, and we don’t live that way." The school later backed away from its decision and announced that it would allow the couple to submit an application. The mothers declined the offer saying that they "just want some place that'll welcome [them] just like everybody else."

the most conservative religious groups understand that the love that two people share…and the gender of those people is not the important thing, it’s the love and the relationship." LIVING OUT

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In the news

international News

By Rachel Roth

Ugandan hiv center raided in undercover sting A Ugandan HIV center, run by the U.S. Military HIV Program in partnership with Makerere University in Kampala, was raided in what appears to be a weekslong undercover operation. According to Buzzfeed, surveillance of the facility began following a March 15 report the NGO was "carrying out recruitment and training of young males in unnatural sexual acts." Crime intelligence officers posed as men seeking safe-sex education and said they found that the "training" targeted youth between the ages of 18 and 25 who "were shown videos of men engaging in homosexual activity."

Lesbian-Only Cemetery opens in berlin A new burial area for exclusively for lesbians was created in a two-century-old cemetery in the German capital last month. A 4,300-square-foot area of the Lutheran Georgen Parochial cemetery, established in 1814 in central Berlin, will be reserved as a graveyard for up to 80 lesbians.

A spokeswoman for the Safia Association – a national group primarily for elderly lesbians – says the patch of land is a space where "the lesbian community can live together in the afterlife." The group was given use of the cemetery area in exchange for cleaning up and landscaping it.

Gay Men Can’t donate blood in No. Ireland

England, Wales Begin Same Sex Marriages Gay and lesbian couples can now say 'I Do' in England and Wales due to the passage of a marriage equality law. The British Parliament passed the law in July 2013 and went into effect during late March 2014. England and Whales are two out of ten European nations – of 28 – to enact marriage equality laws. Britain was already allowing gay couples to adopt children and serve openly in the military. The bill saw very little resistance from opponents and supporters thought that same-sex marriage was long overdue. The lack of opposition shows how the attitudes have changed in a country where, a decade ago, same-sex couples were described as "a pretended family relationship," and schools couldn’t do anything that might promote homosexuality. Scotland also passed a marriage equality bill in February 2014 and is expected to go into effect this fall. 8

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A ban on gay men donating blood in Northern Ireland is under fire, forcing Northern Ireland Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, to defend his decision. Gay Star News reported that, in October, a judge in Belfast determined the ban to be 'irrational.' The ban was enforced from the 1980s until 2011, when it was lifted in England, Scotland and Wales. New guidelines now allow gay and bisexual men to donate so long as they haven’t had any sexual contact with another man for a year. Shadow Health Secretary Ed Burnham stated that "gay men in Northern Ireland should have the same rights to help others by donating as gay men in England, Scotland and Wales." Hunt has begun to appeal the ruling saying, "banning 'gay blood' is needed to ensure public safety."

Teen Takes on Chinese Government in lawsuit

Nineteen-year-old gay rights activist, Xiang Xiaohan from Hunan Province, is suing the Chinese government, making him the first gay man to do so. According to the BBC, Xiang filed his lawsuit after the government declined to register his gay-rights organization, Same-Sex Love Assistance Network. In a written reply to Xiang’s request, the Hunan government said, "homosexuality has no place in Chinese traditional culture and the building of spiritual civilization." Homosexuality was illegal in the country from 1997 until 2001, when it was then defined as a mental disorder.

Ethiopia expected to toughen Anti-GLBT Laws Legislators in Ethiopia are expected to pass a bill that would prohibit the pardoning of people who have been convicted of crimes related to their homosexuality. Presently, same-sex acts are punishable by up to 15 years in prison and a 25-year jail term is given to anyone convicted of infecting another person with HIV during same-sex acts. The bill was sponsored by the Ministry of Justice and is to be put to a vote at the end of April.

Public opinion is on the side of the legislation and an anti-gay rally – spearheaded by the government-affiliated Addis Ababa Youth Forum and a religious group associated with the Ethiopian Orthodox Church - is scheduled for April 26 to protest the "rising incidents" of homosexuality in the conservative Horn of Africa nation. Information Minister Redwan Hussein (pictured above) said they "just see it as the right to have a demonstration."

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THE LONG ISLAND GLBT NETWORK RELOCATES ITS NASSAU CENTER TO WOODBURY These are very exciting times for the Long Island GLBT Network (The Network) and for the community. The Network is always working on ways to expand services and widen their reach, many of which we will be shared in the coming months. But focusing their attention to the immediate future, The Network announced that their Nassau Center has relocated to Woodbury.

nearly impossible conditions to be met in order to obtain a Certificate of Occupancy." While The Network did its best to overcome these road blocks, a point was reached in mid-March where it became clear that the communities support and their resources would be better utilized elsewhere. Hicksville was no longer an option and The Network had three weeks to find a space that could house and continue all the programs and services that were currently offered in Nassau County.

When The Network opened The Center at Garden City in 2011, they signed a 33 month lease. Their vision was always to have a stand-alone center, but felt the need in Nassau County was so great that after a 2 year search, that began in 2009, they could not wait and moved forward with leasing what became known as The Center at Garden City. In the short span of just under 3 years, thousands came through The Center's doors for life saving programs, to get tested for HIV/STI's, take part in exhibits, arts and cultural events, attend a national LGBT Conference, volunteer, celebrate the launch of the nations first and only Gay PTA and build a stronger and more united community. It is hard to believe that it was only 33 months in Garden City with so much being accomplished.

For the past 18 months, The Network had been tirelessly searching for a permanent home and was on the verge of obtaining one in Hicksville. David Kilmnick, CEO of The Network, said, "We had all intentions of moving there when our lease at Garden City expired March 31st. Unfortunately as the process moved along road blocks were encountered. Legal hurdles arose as the Town of Oyster Bay Planning Commissioner was placing

The Network's new space, which is only fifteen minutes from their previous location, is located on Crossways Park Drive North in Woodbury. This new space will allow The Network to sustain and grow their services in Nassau while continuing to explore possibilities of buying or building their own stand alone center. The Center at Woodbury is located at 20 Crossways Drive North, Suite 110, Woodbury, NY 11797. It is right off Exit 14E of the Seaford-Oyster Bay Expressway and accessible by all of Long Island's parkways.

LIGALY'S 2014 NIGHT OF NOISE A HUGE SUCCESS OVER 160 GLBT YOUTH AND ALLIES PACK THE CENTER AT BAY SHORE Every year, schools across Long Island (and the country) participate in Day of Silence, a national movement where students take a vow of silence to protest the silence that is forced upon GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) youth. While the Day of Silence typically occurs in schools, LIGALY (Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth) created its own Night of Noise several years ago, which is held on the evening of Day of Silence. This year over 160 youth packed the LIGALY Center at Bay Shore for the 2014 Night of Noise block party. Youth from across Nasasu, Suffolk and the East End spray painted a Wall of Hate, had a SpeakOUT, a pie eating contest, face painting, photo shoot, LGBT Auditions and a DJ dance party. According to Robert Vitelli, Chief Operating Officer of The Long Island GLBT Network (The Network), Night of Noise “captures who we are in terms of being visible, and telling people what’s going on.” Students are invited to come together at The Long Island GLBT Network’s Suffolk Center at Bay Shore, gain a voice, and express what Day of Silence has meant to them. The idea behind Night of Noise is to be able to let students to break their silence and

empower them to be able to do something about the barriers GLBT youth face. Vitelli explained that one of the most powerful activities during Night of Noise is the build up and then destruction of a large cinderblock wall. This year, youth lined up by the dozens and patiently waited to spray paint on the wall words that they have either been bullied with, or heard others be bullied with. As youth kneeled down and painted the words fag, sissy, freak, and other words they are called each day, they were met with an embrace from the next person in line to let them know that they are not alone and have all the support they need. Then, in a positive and supportive environment, the youth broke the wall with a sledgehammer to signify the breaking of the silence, as well as breaking the bullying that so many youth face each day.

The overall and important message LIGALY aims to convey is clearly that remaining silent while witnessing an act of bullying can be just as bad as actually being a bully. It is important to remember that even one voice can save a life. On this night, over 160 youth made sure their voices were heard across all of Long Island.

TO SEE MORE PHOTOS FROM THE NIGHT OF NOISE, TURN TO PAGE 45

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volunteer with The Network

Looking for a great way to spend your free time? The Long Island GLBT Network (The Network) is always looking for volunteers to help with special events, day-to-day operations and light office work. The Network relies on its enthusiastic volunteers to serve Long Island’s GLBT community. Being a volunteer for The Network you are part of a group of kind, compassionate, generous, and hardworking individuals who affect tremendous and farreaching change in the community.

Becoming a volunteer for The Network is fast and easy. Potential volunteers can fill out an online application or visit any one of The Network’s three community centers located in Woodbury, Bay Shore, and Sag Harbor. They can match you with a volunteer position that best utilizes your time, skills, and interests. One of the best ways to volunteer is by signing up to help at this years’ Pride Parade and PrideFest. The 2014 Pride Parade and PrideFest will take place on Saturday, June 24th starting at 12pm. Here are the many fun and exciting activities you can be a part of: • Help with the Morning Set-up • Assist in the Parade Line-up/Parade Marshalls • Tend the Information Booth • Be a host/hostess in the Beer Gardens • Volunteer in the TD Bank VIP Lounge • Keep an eye on the Stage or assist the Entertainment • Help keep the Children’s Area a safe and fun space

Volunteers are invaluable to the success of The Network in our Long Island community. By getting involved, you can meet new people, greet and help many community members that walk through our doors, assist with programs and special events and much more.

If you are interested in becoming a volunteer, The Network will be holding several Pride Volunteer Orientations: Wednesday, May 7th from 7-8:30pm @ The Center at Woodbury Friday, May 16th from 7-8:30 @ The Hamptons GLBT Center Tuesday, May 27th from 7-8:30 @ The Center at Bay Shore Wednesday, June 4th from 7-8:30 @ The Center at Woodbury Tuesday, June 10th from 7-8:30 @ The Center at Bay Shore

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BECOMING A VOLUNTEER, VISIT LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

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PRIDE 2014 PREVIEW PROUD PEOPLE, FUN TIMES!

The Long Island Pride Parade traces its origins to over 23 years ago when Long Island’s Gay Pride Freedom Committee founders approached the Town of Huntington to grant a permit for the first Pride Parade. The first Pride Parade was held on June 9th, 1991 and since that time, the Pride Parade has grown into one of the largest parades outside of New York City. Every year, community organizations, businesses, and school-based Gay-Straight Alliance clubs proudly march along Main Street to the cheers of thousands of spectators. This year’s Grand Marshall for the Pride Parade is Edie Windsor. Edie has been a strong advocate for the rights of the GLBT community through her inspirational fight in single handedly taking down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Following the Parade down Main Street is PrideFest. For the past two years, Long Island PrideFest has been the highlight of the year for Long Island’s GLBT community. From 1pm to 6pm, PrideFest rocks Heckscher Park with all-day live entertainment from top performers and local talent. This event has something for all 15,000+ participants. PrideFest features beer gardens, the TD Bank VIP Lounge, a health pavilion, information booths, the KJOY 98.3 Kids Zone, delicious food and much, much more. This year PrideFest 2014 is bringing top-notch performances from pop stars and local talent. Read on to learn more about this years performers.

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Taylor Dayne stands out as one of music's most dynamic artists of all time. Her unique vocal style has earned her numerous best-selling gold and platinum albums, which produced many Top 20 singles, among them number 1 hits such as "Tell It To My Heart", "Love Will Lead You Back" & "Prove Your Love To Me".

Kristine W has proven herself an Olympian and lasting talent in the rarified and cutting edge realm of the dance music diva – where singers have to hit and deliver notes that thrill, truly touch hearts and souls with the words they sing and compel bodies to find the mighty groove out on the dance floor.

Prince Poppycock, the witty and glamorous, with his powerful trained voice, has opened for bands like the Dresden Dolls and The Sounds; performed at extravagant events like NYC’s Dances of Vice; and opened for performance art legend Ann Magnuson at LA’s prestigious Redcat Theater. He was also a contestant on NBC’s “America’s Got Talent.”

Joe Murena is an "out" and proud singer songwriter from Long Island and is honored to be returning to the pride concert lineup. Joe is most commonly known as Long Island's first finalist to appear on the hit reality show American Idol (Season 4 with Carrie Underwood).

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Cameron diaz:

The Real Thing

Cameron talks being called ‘bisexual,’ mom fetishes and her disappointment in the ladies

ameron Diaz is all about breaking the rules...especially when someone else is breaking them too. Strutting into a room at the Four Seasons at Beverly Hills, the actress surveys the space and lugs an oversized sofa chair to the opposite corner where she gets comfortable, her slender legs curled behind her, heels still on. In person, Diaz really is the sweetest thing, but don’t cross her. At least not in The Other Woman, where the actress, along

photos by Berry Wetcher/20th Century Fox 12

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with Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, serves some nasty shenanigans to a lover she learns is secretly married (And because you need that sassy colleague to give you sage advice on getting even, Nicki Minaj co-stars). For this gay press exclusive, the actress recalls the faux lesbian action on the set of The Other Woman, clarifies statements she made regarding her sexuality (don’t call her bisexual), and advises the ladies to “step it up a little bit.”

an interview by Chris Azzopardi

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Recently I was at the gay club and they played that unforgettable singalong from The Sweetest Thing: “The Penis Song.” No way! That’s so awesome.

When you did that song with Selma Blair and Christina Applegate in 2002, did you ever think the gays would still be dancing to a song about penises this many years later? Not at all, but I guess we should have figured! We should’ve guessed that. It’s quite obvious.

Because the penis is timeless. (Laughs) Exactly. The penis is timeless.

Because of its girl-power fierceness, The Other Woman aligns itself with Nine to Five, Sex and the City and The First Wives Club. Why do you think gay men in particular are so drawn to these movies?

These women are underdogs. In Nine to Five it was really about discrimination. Gays and lesbians know what it’s like to be discriminated against, to be the underdog and to have to fight to be seen. That’s something that could be relatable. It’s that feeling of beating all the odds and pushing through, and continuing to go on even though you get beat down and you feel like you can’t possibly make it through.

Going back, what movie of yours do you attribute to the beginning of your gay following? I don’t know!

How about Being John Malkovich from 1999?

Because Lotte! I mean, of course! Lotte found out who she was. She was self-realized and empowered by it, and that’s what I really loved about her – her recognizing herself and honoring herself, and no matter what she just kept going until she was able to fully express herself.

Actually, Lotte sounds a lot like you. In the last few years you’ve been expressing your own sexuality with honesty and openness, saying in interviews with Glamour UK and Playboy that just because you’re sexually attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. The Kinsey Scale actually suggests that everyone is a little bisexual. Is that what you believe too?

What I really think is a problem is that for some reason everybody needs to label. There needs to be a label for something, and you have to qualify it with a label. If we didn’t put these labels on ourselves, I think we would probably live in a much better society. We would just let people be who they are and we wouldn’t have to define them. Over the years I’ve known people who are male who love women, who want to be in a relationship with a woman, who want to raise a family with a woman, who have that relationship and that’s where they want to put their energy – but they also

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are sexually attracted to men. And just because someone’s sexually attracted to a man he has to choose whether he wants to be with a woman or a man, and vice versa with women. Women may want to have a relationship with a man, and to raise a family with him, but may also be sexually attracted to women. Because we have to label it, because we make people choose who they want to be, people aren’t happy. They’re ruining relationships and friendships and marriages, and they’re feeling like they can’t have all sides of themselves. They feel like they have to choose. If we just allowed people to be themselves and to be open to it and not have to be absolute one way or another, life could be really full.

This view of sexuality seems to be a recent trend, and now people often refer to themselves as “queer” because it’s more indefinable.

Right, right. But does sexuality really define a person? Who you’re sexually attracted to – does that define you as a person? It’s just a part of who you are. Does who you love define who you are? It doesn’t. We need to see ourselves in the full spectrum of the human being.

The press is saying, “Cameron Diaz is bisexual.” But it sounds like you don’t want to put yourself in that box?

I don’t. People get uncomfortable (when you don’t). I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but it’s a beautiful thing that we can appreciate beauty in other women. I think that’s amazing. If they’re confident in themselves and know who they are, heterosexual men can look at another heterosexual man and go, “Yeah, he’s pretty hot. He’s a sexy man.”

And you have said you can do the same with the ladies. Of course.

Could you see yourself in a relationship with a woman, though? That’s not at all what I said. That’s not what I was saying. That’s what people are (saying). What I’m saying is that I can appreciate the beauty of another woman. I’ve said this forever: I think women’s bodies are beautiful – all shapes, all sizes. Every part of a woman is beautiful and that’s something that we’ve celebrated culturally throughout history.

And men, as well. I mean, how about those Greek gods? Exactly. Greek gods! You go to Florence and you see da Vinci and you go, “Oh, of course – this is a celebration of the body.” So, I feel like saying that is just stating something that’s obvious. People get weirded out when you bring in sexuality, when you say “sex,” when you say you find someone else sexually attractive – because people feel like they can’t control that! That if for someone reason they find somebody sexually attractive they’re going to lose all control of themselves and they’re going to question themselves and not know what it is. It’s not black or white. There is a spectrum.

If a lesbian were to stop you on the street and reference one of your movies, which scene do you think they would point to? I mean, you f-cked a Ferrari – that, I’m sure, was enjoyed by many a lesbian.

Yeah, that’s always a good time. (Laughs) But I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. I’ve played so many different characters, and I don’t want to just generalize that all lesbians like the same kind of woman (smiles and points to herself ). And there’s a lot to choose from! Everybody has different “preferences.” (Laughs)

Your girl crush in 2006 was Pamela Anderson. Have your tastes changed at all? Who do I have a girl crush on?

Leslie Mann?

Leslie is just seriously one of the loveliest human beings. But I don’t know right now if I have a girl crush! I haven’t taken a second to look around because I’ve been working so much. Honestly, I think the girls need to step it up a little bit. I’m disillusioned with all the Botox and all the filler and all the fakeness. I really love a natural beauty, something that you can celebrate.

Diane Keaton, Annie Lennox and Annette Bening are all aging naturally. They are, because they’re self-possessed.

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So, as you age, you’re not interested in plastic surgery?

No. It can be done well, but what I see with the women who do a lot of it is, the objective is to look younger, but they just start to look different. They don’t necessarily look younger, but they do look different. I don’t think that I would ever want to look different. I don’t know if I could look into the mirror and be OK with seeing somebody other than myself.

The idea of being a cartoon version of yourself isn’t appealing? I did a little bit (of plastic surgery). I tried it out, and that’s what disturbed me. I didn’t look like myself. It scared me. I didn’t look younger. I just looked different.

If you could team up with two of your gay friends to get back at a man who wronged you, a la The Other Woman, whom would you pick as your gay sidekicks?

Oh my god, for sure my friend Brad (Cafarelli). He’s my publicist and would be perfect because he’s so clever and stealthy. He’s just super keen. He doesn’t miss a detail. And he sees it all! I want him on my side for anything. And he’s hot. I would also say Teddy (Bass), my trainer, who is just fearless and could crawl into any space and get anything done.

According to your co-star Kate Upton, there was some lesbian

action happening behind the scenes of The Other Woman. (Laughs) What did she say?

That there was a lot of butt pinching. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!

Feel free to elaborate. We actually just did a very funny AOL “Unscripted” thing that just went off the rails. It was so funny.

Was it lesbianic?

Yeah, totally. Like, full-on hilarity. But yeah, (what happened behind the scenes) wasn’t lesbian as in making fun of. It was putting it in a way that, you know, it’s...

It’s playful?

It’s playful, exactly. Thank you. Totally playful. But Leslie (Mann) has this thing with butts, and it’s because she has daughters. As a mom she’s all like “goochy goochy goo,” “squeezy, squeezy, squeezy” and she’s always pinching their tooshies. So Kate and I, when her kids weren’t around, we got all the “squeeshy, squeeshy,

squeeshy” and all the pinching and all the grabbing. (Laughs)

So that’s as lesbian as it got?

It’s more like mom nurturing. It’s more like mom-ing. And, you know, some lesbians might find “mom-ing” really hot!

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

out and about

tv review

by gregg shapiro

Screen Savor: From Stage to Screen could be motivated by the promise of sex. Across town, Joe’s obedient and responsible daughter Abigayle (Aja Naomi King) is at home taking care of her unwell mother. She has been led to believe that Joe is out of town at a work-related conference. Abigayle and Dexter (E.J. Bonilla), an athletic classmate with bad grades and a record, talk on the phone, and eventually meet at a basketball court.

1 The full-length feature film debut by writer/director Joshua Sanchez, Four (Wolfe), is an adaptation of gay playwright Christopher Shinn’s award-winning first play. An intimate portrait of four characters’ lives intersecting on the fourth of July, Four features solid performances, but feels too self-conscious on the whole.

A portrait of “the myths of first love, first sex,” one of Four’s strengths is the way that the characters can’t seem to say the right things to each other, giving the dialogue an authenticity. Both couples eventually end up having sex with their respective partners, but instead of making them more comfortable with each other, it has the opposite effect. Everything comes to a head in a diner parking lot when Abigayle sees her father getting into his car with June in the passenger seat.

Restless gay teen June (Emory Cohen), who is hoping to make his own fireworks, has arranged an online hook-up with bisexual, African-American married man Joe (Wendell Pierce). They meet up near a payphone and drive off in Joe’s BMW convertible. June, an only son, admits to not being out to his parents. Joe, who is outgoing and fatherly, appears to be genuinely interested in the boy, although it

Following an uncomfortable scene in a gay bar, where June bumps into former best friend Todd (Liam Benzvi), June declares that he doesn’t know what he wants. Unfortunately, the same can be said about Four. Issues of race, class and sexuality collide with the prospect of living an authentic life, but Four feels unauthentic and stagey, in spite of being set in various locations.

1 Four (2012)

•

LIVING OUT

2 Chicago (2002)

When Kander & Ebb’s Tony Awardwinning musical Chicago finally hit the big screen in 2002 after a few failed attempts to do so, it was a massive success. The winner of six Oscars, including Best Picture, Chicago seemed to signal the return of the big-screen movie musical. While there were a few exceptions (Sweeney Todd and Dreamgirls), for the most part audiences got stuck with stinkers such as Mamma Mia!, Rent, The Phantom of the Opera, Nine and Les Miserables (be warned, the Jersey Boys movie is waiting in the wings). What made Chicago even more impressive is that neither of the lead actresses, Renée Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones, was known for their Broadway musical fire power (although Zeta-Jones did eventually make her mark in a 2009 revival of A Little Night Music). Nevertheless, under the direction of Rob Marshall, the duo glittered as murderous jazz-age mamas Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly, respectively (with ZetaJones winning an Oscar). Supporting players John C. Reilly, Queen Latifah, Christine Baranski and Richard Gere all make the most of the Kander & Ebb songs, including “The Cellblock Tango,” “All That Jazz,” and “Nowadays,” to name a few.

2 Now available in a Blu-ray+DVD+Digital HD/Ultraviolet Diamond Edition, with more than two hours of new content, Chicago (Miramax/Lionsgate) holds up well (better than the city itself). Special features include commentary by Marshall and Condon, which is one of the few worth listening to as it is fascinating and offers incredible insights into the film. You will also find the deleted “Class” scene, and much more. Bill Condon’s inspired Oscar-nominated screenplay transforms wannabe performer Roxie’s musical numbers into her own overactive fantasy life. As inmates Roxie and Velma compete for the spotlight and the sympathies of the public and the press, they sing and dance to their (and our) hearts’ content.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

ch i e f ex ecut ive of f ice r

staf f

David Kilmnick, PhD, MSW

Robert Vitelli, MA Chief Operating Officer & Director of Development

Lambert Liu, LMSW HIV/STI Outreach & Testing Manager

b oar d of dir ec tors

Chuck Caputo Chief Program Officer

Matt Grady HIV/STI Outreach & Testing Specialist

Bruce Castellano, President Field Coordinator of the Human Rights Program, Adelphi University Frank Ullman, Vice President Owner, FCU Holdings. LLC. Linda Fazio, PhD, Secretary Psychologist Jason Rein, Treasurer Managing Director, Head of North America Compliance, CITI Private Bank

Tom Maligno, Esq. Director of Career Services, Touro Law School James Garbus Attorney, Meyer, Suozzi, English & Klein, P.C. Robert Heppenheimer Owner/Operator, Nesconset Nursing Home & Rehabilitation Center Rony Nehme Managing Director, Prudential

Andrey Bashlyk Finance Eliscia DiStefano Executive Assistant Chris Scarpati Assistant Director of Development Michael Serrano Development Officer for Database Management & Special Events

Cheyenne Grant HIV/STI Outreach & Testing Specialist Katie Henderson, LMSW HIV/STI Outreach & Testing Program Coordinator Kwame Badu-Danso HIV/STI Outreach & Testing Program Coordinator Robert Balzarano, LMSW Director of CARE Services

Jonathan Chenkin Development Officer for Corporate & Business Relations

Alyssa Cottone Sage-LI Program Coordinator

Mike Murphy Digital Marketing Manager

Sam Colbert Community Educator

Alexis Capitini Graphic Designer & Communications Specialist

Stephanie Buxbaum Health Promotion Coordinator

Kerrie O’Neill, LMSW Senior Regional Director – Suffolk County Services Irene Tsikitas, MSW Regional Director – Nassau County Services Karen Taylor Director of Education & Outreach Keri Divanian Program Operations Coordinator

Elizabeth Munksy Community Program Coordinator Manny Velasquez-Paredes Hamptons Center Program Manager Lilianne Ogeka Hamptons Center Program Assistant Ruth Davis Information & Referral Specialist

host commit tee

thank you to our sponsors

Drew Allt Drew Patrick Spa

Presenting Sponsor Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. (FREE)

Linda Armyn Bethpage Federal Credit Union

Platinum Sponsor Bethpage Federal Credit Union Laurie and Marty Scheinman

Richard Brynes Rafael Carresqual Floral Designs by Rafael Christopher J. Chimeri, Esq. Attorney and Counselor at Law Nancy Cohen Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. Resi Cooper Eddie Fraser North Shore LIJ Health System Carol Hasenstab TD Bank Robert O. Hawkins, Jr. LIGALY Founding Board President Gemma de Leon Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, UFCW Chris Long Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. (FREE) Greg Matalon Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP Michael McDyer Dave Mejias Mejias Milgrim & Alvarado Charles and Roni Robbins Stony Brook University Laurie and Marty Scheinman Stu Schoenfeld Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP Micahel Serao Quontic Bank Ian and Steven Seigel-Slykhuis Roy Timm North Shore LIJ Health System

Titanium Sponsor Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP Bruce Castellano Meyer, Suozzi, English & Klein, P.C. North Shore LIJ Health System Jason Rein & Henry Dobry Greater Long Island Financial Group, Prudential Financial TD Bank Gold Sponsor Drew Allt, Dr. Richard Brynes, and Michael McDyer Robert O. Hawkins, Jr., Ph.D. Robert Heppenheimer Dave Mejias N. Cheng & CO., P.C. Newsday Frank Ullman

Silver Sponsor All-Ran Electric of New York Theresa Berger Nicole Brand & Beth Butcher Carolyn DeVito, Unique Salon & Spa Linda Fazio Adam and Renee Haber Gemma de Leon & James LoPresti Long Island IVF Russell E. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connell, Organizational Development, Inc. Quatela, Hargraves & Mari, PLLC Andrea Spencer, Education Dean â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Pace University Deborah Tascone & Sheila Kennedy Town Total Specialized Parmacy Services Bronze Sponsor Alice & Stanley Harris Peter J.G. Marris, Jr., M.D. Michael Zimmerman & Scott Williamson

Media Sponsor Long Island Pulse

A LET TER FROM THE CEO OF THE LONG ISL AND GLBT NET WORK

Dear Friends, On behalf of our Board of Directors, our staff, our volunteers, and the tens of thousands of people we reach and serve each year, thank you for your support, and for joining us in celebrating the Long Island GLBT Network and our honorees. Tonight we honor individuals and institutions that have helped the Long Island community. Robert Budd, CEO of Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. (FREE), is a non-profit leader with more than 30 years of experience who has been an incomparable supporter, as well as collaborating with The Network to create programs for GLBT people with different abilities. Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP is a leading law firm whose work includes non-profit, elder, and real estate law and have helped countless in the Long Island community through their personal service and pro-bono work. The firm has been instrumental in guiding The Network in establishing its permanent homes throughout both counties. Jay Guercio is a youth leader within Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY), The Network’s original and flagship organization serving GLBT youth. Jay personifies what LIGALY seeks to achieve – empowered young people creating change and making an impact in their schools and communities. Jay has been involved with LIGALY for over 3 years through many of its leadership programs, including the Safe Schools Team, LIGALY Advisory Board, and Pride Empowerment Project. In addition to recognizing our honorees, tonight we also honor the memory of David Hernandez Barros, a young gay man from East Hampton who took his own life at the age of 16 because he was bullied at school and in his community. We are honored to have David’s mother, Carmita, and his sister, Gabriella, with us here this evening to help pay tribute to David’s memory. His tragedy spurred and mobilized an entire community around the opening of The Network’s third community center in August 2013 – The Hamptons GLBT Center in Sag Harbor – so that young people on the East End no longer had to drive 60 miles one-way to find a center that was theirs, and to prevent suicides like these. Coming together tonight to pay tribute to these incredible individuals and institutions helps The Network accomplish its work throughout the year. Support from events like the Gala and from donors like you enable The Network to grow – including opening The Network’s third community center in the Hamptons. As The Network continues to create change and grow, we extend our deepest gratitude and thanks to all those who believe in our work and are committed to creating safer and more supportive spaces for GLBT youth and the entire Long Island community. Thank you again for your support tonight and throughout the year. With pride,

David Kilmnick, PhD, MSW Chief Executive Officer

STATE OF NEW YORK OFFICE OF THE STATE COMPTROLLER 110 STATE STREET ALBANY, NY 12236

May 2, 2014

Dr. David Kilmnick, CEO LI GLBT Services Network 34 Park Avenue Bay Shore, NY 11706 Dear Friends: Greetings to all those gathered this evening for the annual Equality Awards Gala hosted by the Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Services Network. Since 2005, the Network has been devoted to ending homophobia and transphobia, to providing a safe space for the GLBT community, and to advocating for equality.

Special congratulations are due to this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s honorees: Robert Budd, CEO, Family Residences & Essential Enterprises (FREE); Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP, attorneys at law; and Jay Guercio, youth leader. Their outstanding leadership, service and accomplishments are truly worthy of your recognition. The Long Island GLBT Services Network was originally created to coordinate efforts, promote efficiency and the sharing of scarce resources, and encourage collaboration among five not-for-profit organizations, now consolidated into three: Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY), the oldest constituent organization founded in 1993; the Long Island GLBT Community Center (the Center); and Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders on Long Island (SAGE-LI). Together, these organizations offer a comprehensive range of services, programs and activities to welcome, support and sustain the Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s diverse GLBT population. While our nation and our State have made impressive progress in recent years, thanks to the passion and determination of committed activists such as the Networks members and allies, as well as the courage and resilience of countless ordinary citizens, the Network continues to struggle to help people achieve fundamental objectives of security, recognition, freedom and opportunity. The dedicated officers, board, staff and supporters of the Long Island GLBT Services Network are meeting the needs and voicing the aspirations of a community, and helping build a brighter, more equitable future on Long Island. Best wishes for a joyful celebration and continued success. Sincerely,

Thomas P. DiNapoli State Comptroller

honor e es advocates fighting tirelessly for equality for the glbt community

Robert Budd

Jay Guercio

CEO, Family REsidences and essential enterprises (FREE)

Youth Leader

Robert S. Budd is Chief Executive Officer of the Family of FREE Network, a not-for-profit network of agencies that provide educational, community living opportunities and other support services for people with disabilities. Mr. Budd is a vision driven, results orientated leader with extensive experience as an innovator, management trainer and consultant. He has over 30 years of progressive leadership experience. Mr. Budd joined FREE in 1985 and has held key positions in operations, most recently named Chief Executive Officer in 2008. He played a key leadership role in

the expansion of the organization from an annual budget of $1 million in 1985, serving fortyfive individuals to a network of organizations providing over $115 million of services in 2014. Today, the network serves over 3,500 individuals annually in community living opportunities, vocational and clinical programs on Long Island and New York City. Mr. Budd is passionate about FREE’s partnership and collaboration model that creates an environment which realizes the unique gifts and talents of those who comprise the “Family of FREE Network”.

Jay Guercio is a 16-year-old queeridentified youth who has actively made strides to create change. She getting involved with LIGALY in March of 2012, she has been seen around the Center at Bay Shore at least 2-5 days a week. On many different occasions Jay has led passionate debates on a variety of issues including bullying, gender discrimination, rape culture, self-love, and marriage equality. She also stands up for the rights of all those, not just GLBTQ-identified, who suffer from oppression and degradation in our society. Jay has given a voice to students urging them to speak out and dedicate themselves to enacting positive change. Through her work with

LIGALY, she has edified her school’s community about the need for more inclusive services for the GLBTQ community. She has served as a peer mentor, assisting GLBTQ youth with crisis and suicide prevention and is constantly engaging in work that has saved lives. It is Jay’s involvement and her passion for change that sets her above the rest. Never giving up, Jay takes advantage of all opportunities to educate, learn, and share experiences with the people around her. From planning the Day of Silence in her school to presenting at three conferences, Jay has made a lasting impact on her peers, and will continue to make an effort to do so in her future.

CApell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld Attorneys at law Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP (CBMS) is a family of dedicated attorneys who together with their staff provide comprehensive, cost-effective legal services to individuals, businesses, not-for-profit organizations, and religious corporations. When CBMS launched in 2004, it brought together four attorneys who not only worked together previously, but who also shared a vision and passion for providing clients with creative and effective solutions, while building and developing enduring relationships. Since that time, CBMS has grown with additional partners, associates, paralegals and support staff. Now just 10 years later, CBMS serves its clients in areas including taxation, elder law, wills, trusts and estates, residential and commercial real estate, not-for-profit and religious corporation representation, litigation and individual and business law matters. The partners at CBMS see contributions to the local community as an essential and integral part of their work. The Firmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attorneys are involved in pro bono and civic

activities, including serving on the Board of Trustees/Directors of numerous charities and civic organizations, and participating in local Bar Association events. The attorneys at CBMS are recognized for their achievements and are frequently asked to lecture and publish articles in their areas of concentration. PARTNERS Howard J. Capell: The distinguished legal career of Howard Capell spans 40+ years. Howard serves as general counsel to both the Metropolitan New York Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and the Atlantic District of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. He is also a trustee and executive committee member of the Interchurch Center, home to the regional offices of many religious denominations and other missions and organizations. In addition, Howard serves on the Board of Directors for Quality Services for the Autistic Community and other not-for-profit groups. In October 2012, Howard was awarded an Honorary Doctor of Laws degree by The Concordia College Board of Regents.

Robert S. Barnett: Providing leadership as an attorney as well as a certified public accountant, Robert is a member of the Professional Advisors Committee of the Long Island Community Foundation and of the American Heart Association and is active on both the estate and tax planning committees of the New York State Society of CPAs. Mr. Barnett serves on the Nassau County Bar Associationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Academy of Law and is Co-Chair of the Tax Committee. He is the Vice President and an Executive Board Member of the Nassau Chapter of the New York State Society of CPAs. Robert is also President of the Educational Foundation of the Nassau/Suffolk Chapter of the National Conference of CPA Practitioners and Chairman of the Education Committee. On May 8, 2014 Robert will be installed as the new president of the New York State Society of CPAs. Gregory L. Matalon: Gregory is proud to have lectured statewide to CPAs, attorneys and individual groups, after the passage of the Marriage Equality Act in the State of New York and after the Supreme Court decision in the United States v. Windsor, to instruct professionals and individuals on the tax and personal planning implications of these civil rights advances. Gregory helped to establish Lutheran Disaster Response of New York, a major charitable organization created to assist victims of the tragedies that occurred on September 11, 2001. Gregory currently serves as Vice Chair of the Board of Trustees of the Kew-Forest School, an independent pre-K through 12th grade college preparatory school, Vice Chair of the Board of Trustees of Lutheran Schools Association and Chair of the Small Firm and Solo Practitioners Committee of LeGaL, the LGBT Bar Association of Greater New York.

Stuart H. Schoenfeld: Stuart is honored to serve as counsel to the Long Island GLBT Network. He is a past president of the Association for Children with Down Syndrome, an agency serving the needs of children and adults with Down syndrome, autism and other developmental disabilities and was honored at their 2013 gala for his years of dedication and leadership. He has also served many years as a member of the Board of Directors of the Merrick Jewish Centre. Stuart is presently a member of the Board of Directors of the Rehabilitation Institute, an agency providing vocational, educational and therapeutic services to individuals with disabilities. Joseph Milano: Joe has served on the Board of Directors of the Samuel Field Y in Queens for 20 years, and as Vice President for nearly 10 years, regularly called upon to provide counsel and services to Lutheran congregations throughout the Metropolitan New York area, led a forum at the 2013 annual Synod Assembly of the Metropolitan New York Synod of the Lutheran Church in America and is counsel to the oldest continuous Buddhist temple in New York. Last year, he successfully handled an appeal, pro bono, that restored Access-A-Ride benefits to a disabled senior citizen in New York City, allowing her to continue to work and support herself. Renato Matos: Renato is active in the community and regularly donates his time and expertise to numerous charitable organizations. He is on the Board of the Directors of the MS HOPE FOUNDATION and is on the host committee of GLAAD and The Trevor Project. Additional information can be found about the partners and associates of CBMS on its website: www.CBMSLAW.com.

Ab out the long isl an d G L B T N e t wor k The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Network (The Network) is an association of non-profit organizations serving Long Island’s GLBT community throughout the lifespan. • Goals: The Network’s organizations work to end homophobia and transphobia on Long Island, provide a home and safe space for the GLBT community, and advocate for equality. • Community Centers: The Network operates Long Island’s only three GLBT community centers in Nassau County, Suffolk County, and the East End/Hamptons. • National Significance: Based upon budget and number of staff, The Network is the fifth largest GLBT community center organization in the country, and one of three operating multiple locations. The Network’s Organizations Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY): Established in 1993, Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) is the original and flagship organization of The Network. LIGALY works to build youth leadership, end anti-GLBT bullying, stop HIV/AIDS, and prevent suicide. The Long Island GLBT Community Center (The Center): The Center was established in 2005 to meet a strong community need for services for GLBT people over the age of 22. Since LIGALY serves GLBT youth up to age 21, there were no additional GLBT services on Long Island. The Center serves as a social and cultural epicenter for the GLBT community. SAGE Long Island (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders – Long Island): SAGE-LI was established in 2005 and provides GLBT older adults with the needed outlets to promote social connections, increase positive health outcomes, and advocate for equality and visibility among institutions serving older adults. The organizations of The Network are the only human services organizations on Long Island whose mission and services are wholly dedicated to serving Long Island’s GLBT community. The Network is a unique model of service delivery by which each of its organizations share administrative, fundraising, and other back-end operations as well as programming space to reduce overhead expenses, and ensure that more of each dollar raised goes directly to programs and services. The Network and its organizations are an accredited charity by the Better Business Bureau. More than 80% of each dollar raised goes directly to programs and services.

Nassau The Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797

Suffolk The Center at Bay Shore 34 Park Avenue Bay Shore, NY 11706

East End The Hamptons GLBT Center 44 Union Street Sag Harbor, NY 11963

Pro grams and services of the net work Collectively, the organizations of The Network provide the following programs and services: Community Centers: The Network operates Long Island’s only three GLBT community centers, which feature a computer center, library, social events including those for LGBT-headed families, professionals’ mixers, and other programs. More than 12,000 visits are made annually. Youth Support and Drop-In: LIGALY provides 6 weekly programs for GLBT youth and their friends to build leadership and gain support, including the LIGALY Advisory Board, Safe Schools Team, Pride Empowerment Project, and a Friday night social. More than 500 youth were served with 225 sessions of these programs last year. Safe Schools Initiative: LIGALY works to stop the bullying of GLBT youth in schools through the delivery of anti-bullying workshops for students, conducting training for teachers, supporting more than 100 gay-straight alliance (GSA) clubs serving 1,250 youth leaders, and producing and implementing its annual “National Coming Out Day School Awareness Campaign” in 60 Long Island schools so that 60,000+ students and teachers can take a stand against bullying. Last year, LIGALY delivered 235 workshops at 54 school locations reaching 7,800 students, school staff and administrators. In 2011, The Network established the first and only chartered Parent Teacher Student Association (PTSA) in the country solely dedicated to serving the needs of GLBT youth – the Long Island Gay PTSA. HIV/AIDS Services: LIGALY and The Center provide rapid HIV testing, STD screenings, linkage to care for those testing positive, prevention programs, outreach, and launched the only support group on Long Island for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. Last year, 392 people received HIV tests and STD screenings, and more than 300 participated in intensive prevention and education programs. Counseling, Advocacy, Resources, and Education (CARE) Services: The Center provides mental health counseling, support groups for the transgender community and parents of GLBT youth, coordinates a MSW graduate internship program, and delivers crisis intervention and advocacy for victims of sexual assault, domestic violence, hate crimes, and HIV-related bias and discrimination. 71 people received 1,114 sessions of counseling in the last year. 17 GLBT and HIV-positive victims of violence were assisted. 74 group sessions were provided for 183 unduplicated individuals last year.

Older Adult Services: SAGE-LI provides a range of social, support, health, and advocacy programs for GLBT older adults. SAGE-LI facilitated 108 Mingle sessions in the last year providing 180 GLBT older adults 1,565 opportunities for a safe space; trips to museums, parks, restaurant outings, game nights, and special events including holiday celebrations; prevention/support; and health education programs and activities. SAGE-LI coordinates advisory boards in each LI County and will be launching a Friendly Visitor program in 2014. Community Education and Training: Each organization of The Network delivers education and training services to 2,500 staff annually of community-based organizations, government agencies, health care institutions, and corporations to create safe spaces for GLBT people. Partners in Pride: The Network coordinates a business membership program, annual Long Island GLBT Business Directory, and annual Long Island GLBT Expo. More than 100 large corporations and small businesses participate annually. Living Out: The Network produces its own monthly publication to deliver GLBT-specific news and content to the Long Island community while building visibility of The Network and its organizations. 15,000 copies are distributed monthly to over 240 locations throughout the region.

We are proud to support LIGLBT on 21 years of making a difference.

On Behalf of FREE’s Leadership Team Congratulations to

Robert S. Budd 2014 Honoree

Gala

EQUALITY AWARDS

“Everybody thinks that equality comes from identifying people, and that’s not where equality comes from. Equality comes from treating everybody the same regardless of who they are.” -Unknown

familyres.org 24

•

LIVING OUT

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

The Board of Directors of the Family of FREE Network

Congratulates

Robert S. Budd

CEO, Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc.

& Stuart Schoenfeld of Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP

Honorees at the EQUALITY AWARDS

Gala

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” -John Quincy Adams

familyres.org

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

LIVING OUT

•

The Family of FREE Network Congratulates LIGLBT on 21 years of making a difference and this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Honoreeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Robert S. Budd

CEO, Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc.

Stuart Schoenfeld of Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP

familyres.org

Bethpage is a proud supporter of the

lovebethpage.com | 800-628-7070

ART is my life. Long Island is my place. Long Island Pulse is my magazine. —Artist Jerelyn Hanrahan

Long Island Pulse Proudly Supports Long Island GLBT Services Net work

Sophisticated, successful professionals who live, work and play in the Hamptons, Gold Coast and boutique communities of Long Island subscribe to Long Island Pulse Magazine to catch up with the who’s who and find out where to go and what to do. Join this influential readership. Subscribe today at lipulse.com/subscribe.

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Bank of America is honored to support Long Island GLBT Services Network Thank you for all that you do for Long Island. Your presence here creates connections that enrich our entire community, and we are honored to support the great work you are doing. Visit us at bankofamerica.com/local

Life’s better when we’re connected™

ISN’T IT TIME YOU HAD THE POWER TO INVEST IN FORWARD-THINKING COMPANIES THAT TREAT EVERYONE EQUALLY?

THE WORKPLACE EQUALITY PORTFOLIO Planning for the future. Saving for education. Forecasting retirement needs. Putting kids through college. Getting ahead. Investors have a lot in common, and for many that also includes dedication to equality. Where we work, what we buy, the brands we prefer and how we save so often reflect our values. That’s where the Workplace Equality Portfolio puts the power in your hands. The Workplace Equality Portfolio is an exchange-traded fund (ETF) that allows investors to reward companies doing business in the U.S. based on their progressive workplace policies, which treat lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people equally, fairly and respectfully. LEARN MORE: Find out more about EQLT by visiting www.eqltfund.com or calling 844.375.8383.

The Portfolio is new with a limited operating history. You cannot invest directly in an index. The Portfolio is subject to additional risks. The Fund invests in stocks of companies which meet the Index’s criteria for supporting workplace equality for LGBT employees. The trend of companies supporting workplace equality in this fashion is relatively recent, and there may be a limited number of companies which meet the Index’s criteria. Fund concentration generally leads to greater price volatility. Foreign investing involves special risks such as currency fluctuations and political uncertainty. The assets of the Portfolio are invested in the Workplace Equality Index™ and the investment performance of the Portfolio is directly related to the investment performance of this Index. The Portfolio is not suitable for all investors. An investor considering the Portfolio should be able to tolerate potentially wide price fluctuations. The Workplace Equality Index™ is a stock index that includes publicly-traded companies that support lesbian,

An investor should consider the investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses carefully before investing. To obtain a prospectus which contains this and other information call 844.375.8383 or visit www.alpsfunds.com. Read the prospectus carefully before investing.

gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality in the workplace. Companies in the Index must score 100% on the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index or, if not found in the Corporate Equality Index, have the verifiable characteristics that would earn them such a score. Shares are not individually redeemable. Investors buy and sell shares on a secondary market. Only market makers or “authorized participants” may trade directly with the Portfolio, typically in blocks of 50,000 shares.

CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES TO The Long Island GLBT Network for its service to Long Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and to

FELLOW HONOREES

ROBERT BUDD, CEO of Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. JAY GUERICO Youth Leader

Howard Capell Robert S. Barnett Gregory L. Matalon Stuart H. Schoenfeld Joseph Milano Renato Matos Counsel to Professionals, Businesses, Individuals and Not-for-Profit/Religious Corporations 100 Jericho Quadrangle, Suite 233, Jericho, New York 11753 Phone: 516/931-8100 Fax: 516/931-8101 225 West 35th Street, 16th Floor, New York, New York 10001 Phone: 212/661-1144

From our Employees, to our Customers, to our community, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re proud to celebrate pride with everyone.

TD Bank, N.A. | Equal Housing Lender

Congratulations to our honorees

ROBERT BUDD

CEO, FAMILY RESIDENCES AND ESSENTIAL ENTERPRISES, INC (FREE)

A special thank you to our staff

CAPELL BARNETT MATALON & SCHOENFELD LLP

YOU ARE THE INSPIRATION FOR OUR FUTURE

ATTORNEYS AT LAW

JAY GUERCIO YOUTH LEADER

Many thanks for your commitment, fortitude, and hard work BRUCE CASTELLANO Board of Directors of The Long Island GLBT Services Network

The Long Island GLBT Services Network extends its deepest thanks to

FLORAL DESIGNS BY RAFAEL for designing and donating this year’s beautiful floral table arrangements! Thank you, Rafael!

FLORAL DESIGNS BY RAFAEL 61 North Ocean Ave. Patchogue, NY. 11772 phone: (631) 627-6989 fax: (516) 746-2476 www.floraldesignsbyrafael.com

Congratulations to

Robert Budd and

The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Network for making our world more beautiful!

Lisa Meyer Fertal and Friends at EEDA

www.eed-a.org

Planned Parenthood of Nassau County salutes the Long Island GLBT Network

and congratulates the 2014 Equality Awards Gala Honorees

PPNC seeks to empower individuals to make independent, informed decisions about their sexual and reproductive lives by providing access to medically-sound health care and educational services, and by promoting public policies to make those services available to all. Hempstead, Glen Cove & Massapequa â&#x2014;? 516.750.2600 â&#x2014;? www.ppnc.org

TRANSFORMING LIVES — ONE STUDENT AT A TIME

St. Joseph’s College salutes Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Services Network on the occasion of its 2014 Equality Awards Gala www.sjcny.edu

THE REIN-DOBRY FAMILY

continues to celebrate all of the great work that The Network does each and every day! David and the staff need to be commended for their passion in advocating on behalf of the GLBT community and helping change hearts and minds.

STONY BROOK UNIVERSITY

Congratulates The Long Island GLBT Services Network and the 2014 Equality Awards Gala Honorees Robert Budd Chief Executive Officer, Family Residences and Essential Enterprises Inc. (FREE)

Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld LLP Attorneys at Law

For their courage and commitment to fight discrimination and ensure equality for all

Office of the Provost â&#x20AC;˘ Office of Undergraduate Academic Affairs Stony Brook University/SUNY is an affirmative action, equal opportunity educator and employer. 14031124

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The long island glbt services network Thanks you for your support tonight. learn more at www.liglbtnetwork.org

show your pride

calendar of events Pride Volunteer Orientation Wednesday, May 7th, 7 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

LIGALY’s Got Big Talent (L.G.B.T) Finals Fridays, May 9th, May 16th, & May 23rd, 6 p.m.-10 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Help the Long Island GLBT Services Network make this year’s Long Island Pride Parade and Festival even better than the last by becoming a volunteer! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

L.G.B.T is a great opportunity for students to gain valuable performance experience in front of a live audience and be recognized for their exceptional talents. Plus, there are CASH PRIZES for the competition’s winners! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip: Bayard Cutting Arboretum Friday, May 9th, 1 p.m. 440 Montauk Highway, Great River The Arboretum offers an oasis of beauty and quiet for pleasure and relaxation. Join us for lunch at the Café on premises (which serves delicious food) while overlooking the Connetquot River, followed by a heart-healthy walk through beautiful Bayard Cutting Arboretum. We are meeting at the Orientation Center at 1pm. If you have a NYS Empire Pass or are 62+, there is no fee for parking (otherwise there is an $8 fee). RSVP required by Thursday, May 8th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.7874

Senior Focus Group Monday, May 12th,1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Come join our coed, peer-led, issuefocused discussion group. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

PTSA Meeting Monday, May 12th, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury The LI G-PTSA is a vocal and visible advocate for safe schools, working in concert with LIGALY’s staff and youth leaders. The Long Island G-PTSA is open to all Long Island parents, educators and students who want to create safer and more supportive schools on Long Island for GLBT youth. This month’s meeting will feature a Common Core presentation. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Have an event you want listed here? Email editor@ livingoutli.org!

Pride Volunteer Orientation Friday, May 16th, 7 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Help the Long Island GLBT Services Network make this year’s Long Island Pride Parade and Festival even better than the last by becoming a volunteer! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip: Old Bethpage Village Reservation Saturday, May 17th, 1 p.m. 1303 Round Swamp Rd, Old Bethpage Old Bethpage provides visitors with a unique and wonderful opportunity to step back in time and experience life in a recreated mid-19th-century American village. The 209-acre village includes an assortment of homes, farms, and businesses. The theme for the weekend is World War II. We are meeting at the Reception Center at 1pm located at the entrance of the Old Bethpage Village Reservation. Admission is $6 per person. RSVP required by Wednesday, May 14th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.7874

SAGE-LI Evening Mingle Wednesday, May 21st, 7p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury If you work and/or have engagements during the day that limit you from attending fabulous SAGE-LI daytime programming, this is the program for you! The Evening Mingle is the perfect opportunity to socialize and hang out with other GLBT older adults. Light refreshments will be served. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Book Club Tuesday, May 27th, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Join us for this month’s discussion as well as bringing your ideas for future books to share with the group. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

20 Something 2nd and 4th Fridays, 7:30-9 p.m Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Discussion and support group for GLBT people in their 20’s. A safe and affirming space to share their experiences. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Advisory Board (SAGE-LI) Monday, May 5th 1p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Tuesday, May 6th, 1p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Share your thoughts and ideas for SAGE-LI programming. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

AlAnon Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Brother2Brother 2nd and 4th Fridays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Social and discussion group for gay and bisexual men of color age 21+. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Co-Dependents Anonymous Thursdays, 7-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore For those who desire a healthy and loving relationship free of codependency. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing: Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore By Appointment Only East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Hampton Bays Mingle 2nd and 4th Thursdays, 3-5 p.m. Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT seniors 50+ on the East End. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LIFE in Nassau 2nd Thursday, 7-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIFE in Nassau meets every second Thursday. Open to adults of all genders and orientations with an interest in BDSM topics.

LIGALY Advisory Board Mondays, 5-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473

LITE Social and Discussion Group 1st/3rd Mondays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st and 3rd Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Living PositHIVly 1st and 3rdThursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury A support group for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

PEP Team – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Interactive leadership program promoting sexual health for GLBT young people. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Safe Schools Team Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Sag Harbor Mingle Fridays, 3-5 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor The Hamptons GLBT Center is officially open and SAGE-LI is bringing a Mingle to Sag Harbor! Bring your friends and come meet new ones. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

SAGE-LI Women at Nassau (SWAN) Wednesdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women. SWAN will not meet on Wednesday, May 21st. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Save the date!

TRUE Calling Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth and their friends to show off their skills! Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for lesbians age 40+.

You Gotta Believe Mondays, 6-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore The Long Island GLBT Community Center has partnered with You Gotta Believe, a non-profit organization that places teenagers into permanent adoptive homes, to provide Adoptive Parent Preparation Classes! If you are interested in participating, please call 631.665.2300. www.liglbtnetwork.org

Youth Group Tuesdays, 5-6 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor All East End youth should come check out this new hot GLBT spot. Every Tuesday is a fun interactive youth group: hang out with others in the lounge. You won’t want to miss it! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

Mark your calendar! TD Bank Pride Kick-off Event

LONG ISLAND PRIDE PARADE AND PRIDEFEST

Tuesday, May 20th 6:00pm

Saturday, June 14th 12 pm

TD Bank BraNch 540 Jericho tpke. Syosset, NY 11791

Hecksher park Huntington, NY

Nassau County Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Garden City. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

OUTlet Fridays, 8 p.m.-Midnight Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. $2 admission, transportation available. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Parent Support Group 1st/3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LIVING OUT

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be scene Night of Noise

Friday, April 11th at The Long Island GLBT network’s Center at Bay Shore Held annually by Long Island gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) over 160 attended the night of Noise. GLBT youth and their allies had a speakout, a pie eating contest & Bake sale, spray painted and broke down the wall of hate & danced the night away

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

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living healthy parenting

by Chris mcnamee

Spring Traditions for Gay Families:

How Conventional Holidays May Affect Your Child

Ahhh, Spring! Even the most ardent winter-lovers among us must be breathing a sigh of relief that the season of snow, snow and more snow has finally ended. Along with April showers and May flowers, this time of year brings several family-oriented holidays, and with them the opportunity to establish new traditions that celebrate the uniqueness of the gay family.

Holiday Hijinx Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be particularly joyous for gay parents, many of whom grew up believing that accepting their homosexuality would mean forfeiting the chance to have children. But for children who are being raised by same sex parents, particularly those who do not have an opposite sex parent in their lives, these holidays may elicit feelings of confusion or exacerbate a sense of “otherness” among their classmates or other peers. Although no loss has occurred, these feelings can be similar to those experienced by children who have lost a parent to death, divorce, active military service or another reason. Children in these situations often feel singled out or stigmatized because their parent is absent. Strategies employed to help these children cope with tragedy and loss can be adapted to help children of gay parents understand their unique and special families.

The Bigger Picture While arts-and-craft time, school bulletin boards and other signs of the season are focusing on a family structure that may differ significantly from your child’s life, he or she need not feel left out. In many cases, family members or friends who serve as role models for the child are honored on Mother’s or Father’s Day, and the child makes cards and gifts for that person. These relationships are very important and should be encouraged whenever possible. However, these special occasions may also be the perfect opportunity to honor the sperm donor father, surrogate mother or birth parents of your child by acknowledging his or her contribution to your family and giving thanks for that gift.

Creating New Traditions Perhaps a new tradition of giving back can be established. A lesbian couple and their family may want to honor the child’s sperm donor by spending Father’s Day volunteering at a Veteran’s Home. A gay male couple and their children could spend Mother’s Day helping out at a community garden. An adoptive family might adapt a practice often used to mark the anniversary of a loved one’s death by deciding to attach messages of gratitude addressed to their child’s birth parents to balloons and release them. This recognizes the fact that although the birth parents may be unknown to the family, they all live under the same blue sky.

Understanding the Message What’s important here is to acknowledge the fact the children of gay parents often have a genetic link to a person who is not part of their lives and may never be known to them. Sperm and egg donors, surrogate mothers, selfless birth parents who make the heartbreaking decision to give their child up for adoption, all of these unsung heroes deserve to be recognized for the important parts they play in making the dream of parenthood a reality for so many gay parents. about the author: Chris mcnamee has a b.S. in Family Services/Child Studies, a M.A. in Intersex Conditions and Gender Identity Disorders in Children and Adolescents and is the Former owner/operator of Kid ‘n Kaboodle Child Care as well as the Former Coordinator for Long Island Family Connections, Gay Parents Support Network.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

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living healthy

wellness

by dr. bill blazey

HIV/AIDS in 2014:

The fight continues after 30 years According to the CDC, every 9 ½ minutes a person in the U.S. is infected with HIV. Currently, over 1 million people in the U.S. are living with HIV. Unfortunately, about 15% of those people don’t know that they are positive leading to missed chances for early treatment and increased risk of infection Is HIV infection and AIDS the same diagnosis? HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) infection and AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) are related in that HIV is the virus that will cause AIDS if untreated. Routine HIV testing for all people allow medical providers to treat early and prevent the infection from leading to AIDS. AIDS is diagnosed when the HIV infection breaks down the person’s immune system and allows for certain infections or cancers to occur. Currently, many medications are available to treat HIV infections, however there is still no vaccine or cure available once infected.

Who is at risk for HIV? All people are at risk for being infected with HIV if they are sexually active or participate in activities such as drug abuse (particularly injection drug users). However, men who have sex with men (MSM) continue to be most affected by HIV. In New York, the MSM population accounts for over 50% of all new HIV infections. While people in their 20s account for over 40% of all new diagnosis, people over 50 account for a quarter of all people with HIV in the US. Unprotected sexual activity is the cause of most infections, so if you are sexually active it is critical to practice safer sex to decrease your risk.

Are lesbians at risk for HIV? Most people think that sexual activity between women has no risk for transmitting HIV, however that is not true. The HIV virus can be found in vaginal secretions and could be transmitted through contact with breaks in the lining of the vagina, anus or mouth.

for their sexual partners. Nassau and Suffolk counties have close to 6,000 documented cases of people currently living with HIV. While the new infection rate overall hasn’t changed, advances in treatment are allowing for people to live longer, healthier lives if diagnosed at an earlier stage. So while its less common to occur in this population, it is possible to be infected with HIV from cunnilingus or by sharing sexual items.

Can a person get hiv from oral sex? Unprotected oral sex (oral sex without a condom) is risky for contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. While it is less risky than unprotected anal intercourse, if there are any cuts or sores in the mouth, then the risk of HIV transmission increases. Tiny abrasions from brushing your teeth greatly increase this risk as well. It is possible for HIV infections to occur even without these tears. Have your sexual partner use a condom or dental dam to decrease this risk. How can I Know my hiv status? The only way to know your status is to get tested. Your primary care provider is required to offer HIV testing each year in NY, so don’t feel embarrassed when they ask you if you want to be tested. Most HIV testing is performed by screening for your antibodies to the HIV virus, however newer testing protocols can screen for viral particles or the HIV virus itself. Following a possible exposure to HIV, most people will test positive within 4 weeks, however to close the ‘window-period’ you should be retested after 3 months as well. Talk to your doctor about testing options if you think you have been recently exposed. How can i prevent becoming infected with hiv? Reducing your risk is crucial to avoid becoming infected with HIV, this starts with respecting yourself and learning about HIV/AIDS. The only sure way not to be infected is to abstain from sexual activity and other risk behaviors. If you chose to have sex, using protection appropriately will reduce your risk of being exposed to

fluids that transmit HIV. Knowing your HIV status and encouraging your sexual partner(s) to get tested frequently can help you make more informed decisions.

What is new with medications for treating hiv? Major advances in medications in the past decade have allowed many people with HIV to live their lives healthy and sometimes with only one pill a day. Research has proven that the earlier you start treatment that you will live longer and also have less risk of passing the virus onto your sexual partners. In addition, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) is a new option to decrease your risk of becoming infected with HIV by taking a daily medication if you are in a high-risk category. PrEP may be a good option for people with multiple sexual partners or if your partner/ spouse is HIV positive and you are not, however it may be costly and you need to talk with your health care provider about its risks.

We have come a long way from when HIV/AIDS was first discovered, but we haven’t defeated this epidemic that claimed so many lives of the GLBT community. Empower yourself by learning about this disease, attend workshops to learn more. Respect yourself and your body by committing to getting tested routinely and making informed choices to prevent becoming infected. Know your status: if negative you can take steps to stay negative, if positive seek treatment to stay healthy.

about the author: William R. Blazey, D.O. is an assistant professor of Family Medicine at NYIT’s College of Osteopathic Medicine

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living smart Travel

by Joey Amato

Out Destination: Knoxville Take a brief 2 hour flight from New York and you’ll find yourself in Tennessee’s third largest city, Knoxville. At the entrance to the city, the iconic Sunsphere greets you. Constructed for the 1982 World’s Fair, the 266-foot structure features an observation deck on the fourth floor giving visitors’ unobstructed 360-degree views of the city. Just a short drive from downtown, the Knoxville Zoo is one of the most visited attractions in the state. One of the favorite exhibits on the property is the Red Panda Village. Ninety-three cubs have been born there since 1979, more than any other zoo in the Western Hemisphere. Visitors can view the beautiful red panda lounging in the trees up above from any one of three viewing areas. After an eventful afternoon at the zoo, head to Cocoa Moon, a chic restaurant located on Market Square that feels like a trendy gay bar with great food. Cocoa Moon serves up a fusion of Asian and Latin flavors offering everything from Ceviche to Sesame Chicken. Standouts include Teriyaki Chicken & Shrimp and the Seafood Fajita, a combination of grilled shrimp, scallops and squid served over a bed of seasoned rice. Cocoa Moon’s delicacies don’t stop at their food; the restaurant also serves up an array of delicious cocktails.

Carolina. Diners are greeted by friendly staff serving hot, fluffy homemade biscuits with honey. The area in and around Market Square has emerged as the epicenter of Knoxville. This is where locals mingle with tourists and listen to live music, shop at small boutiques and dine at a variety of restaurants. The square is also home to numerous festivals and other familyoriented events throughout the year. While on the square, stop by Latitude35 for their famous weekend brunch, but come hungry because the restaurant serves up downhome favorites including Sweetwater Blue Ale Pancakes and Louisiana Eggs, served over lump crab cakes with Creole sauce and hollandaise. The venue is also a hotspot at night when their bar and dance floor flood with partygoers.

When in Knoxville, check in at the Oliver Hotel, a boutique property located on Market Square. The hotel features 28 elegantly appointed rooms featuring handcrafted furniture, original artwork, and luxurious room amenities including walkin showers. Originally built in 1876, the building has hosted everything from a drugstore and a dancing hall. The current owners purchased the building in 2011 and developed it into one of the hottest properties in town.

Just outside downtown lies a playground for nature buffs and those seeking to explore the outdoors. Ijams Nature Center is a tranquil oasis only minutes from the urban hustle and bustle, but it makes visitors feel as if they are miles away. The Wildlife Sanctuary Trail System features almost 4 miles of hiking-only trails and another 7.0 miles of multi-use trails that have been routed to enhance the distinctive features of the preserve which include a sparkling quarry lake, unique rock formations, scenic overlooks and rugged terrain.

Staying at the Oliver Hotel has its perks. Located at the base of the hotel, overlooking Market Square is Tupelo Honey Café, an offshoot of the original establishment in North

Ijams is also the perfect place to have your wedding. You can get married while enjoying the floor to ceiling views of the forest and the subtle sounds of nature provide an intimate and

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LIVING OUT

enchanting backdrop for your ceremony. The 275-acre park also offers bike, paddleboard and canoe rentals and is the perfect way to spend a beautiful Knoxville morning or afternoon.

LGBT nightlife in Knoxville is enjoyable, however not necessarily convenient. The city’s gay bars and clubs are spread out, making bar hopping a bit difficult and unsafe if you choose to enjoy a few adult beverages. Favorite hotspots among the locals include Club XYZ, Club eXile, and The Carousel II, a two-story complex boasting a sunken dance floor, huge performance stage and nightly entertainment. Knoxville is a great weekend getaway which offers a variety of experiences. If you have never been, be sure to visit for Knoxville Pride June 21. For more information, go to www.knoxville.org (TOP LEFT) A KNOXVILLE RED PANDA (FAR LEFT) THE SUNSPHERE (LEFT) THE OLIVER HOTEL

LIAAC, the Long Island Association for AIDS Care, Inc. is a non-profit agency delivering comprehensive services to all Long Islanders infected and affected by HIV/AIDS and other infectious diseases.

EDUCATION PROGRAM SPECIALIST Responsibilities: Day-to-day management of one of the agency’s outreach, HIV testing and education projects. Conduct HIV testing and facilitate evidence-based HIV prevention education intervention. This project targets active substance users and men who have sex with men in communities with high incidences of HIV/AIDS. This will include client recruitment, eligibility screening, enrollment and follow-up. Engage high-risk individuals through conducting street outreach and establishing referral relationships with area service providers. Ensure grant objectives and goals are being met and those programs are conducted in accordance with CDC guidelines. Prepare and maintain monthly and annual reports; coordinate collected data and demographics for long-term planning and annual projects. Requirements: High school degree. Bachelor’s degree preferred. (MSW or related Masters preferred). Knowledge of HIV/HEP/TB/STD related information and substance abuse issues plus 1 year experience working with active drug users helpful. Excellent public speaking skills and awareness of community resources and services. Must be familiar with Microsoft Word and working on the Internet. Individuals who can relate to the gay community and issues facing the gay community are strongly encouraged to apply. Must own car for daily field work in Nassau and Suffolk Counties with some night work. Salary up to $37,000 commensurate with experience LIAAC, 60 Adams Ave., Hauppauge, New York 11788 Attention: Robert Nicoletti, Human Resources • Email: nlindemann@liaac.org Fax: 631-656-7235 • Excellent benefits. Mileage reimbursement. Please check our website at www.liaac.org for other open positions and services and follow us on Facebook. WORLD AIDS DAY – DECEMBER 1ST LIAAC is an Equal Opportunity Employer

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG Client: LIAAC

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You are not alone, you are…FREE To Be FREE To Be is a community of men and women dedicated to socialization, advocacy, and education. We are a support network that provides a safe environment to grow together.

“Disability Is A Matter Of Perception. If You Can Do Just One Thing Well, You Are Needed By Someone” -Martina Navratilova

Socialization/Group Meetings FREE To Be provides an engaging space for GLBTQ individuals and friends, and we encourage all who are interested to come and join us. Meetings Include Inspirational guest speakers, workshops, open discussions, social events, and community involvement. Next Meeting Date: May 27, 2014 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm

Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637

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living smart

finance

The Road to homeownership: Know before you apply!

Buying a home is one of the best investments you will make in your life, but it can also be one of the most stressful. The three steps you should take – saving, credit score (as discussed in previous issues of Living Out), and examining your budget – before actually applying for the loan can be some of the most crucial. Here are a few points to keep in mind before applying.

Step One: Saving

The first step to homeownership should ideally begin well before you purchase a home – saving. There are several things you may want to save for, including: The Down Payment: Homebuyers were once required to put down at least 20% of the purchase price to get a mortgage. Today, you may be able to buy a home with as little as 0-5% percent down. Keep in mind that if it is less than 20%, you may be required to purchase private mortgage insurance or get a second mortgage with a higher interest rate. Closing Costs: Closing costs are the fees required to obtain a mortgage and transfer ownership of the home, such as attorney costs, an appraisal, and title insurance. You may have to pay the fees yourself, but sometimes the seller will pay them or you can have them financed (included in the mortgage). Post Purchase Reserve Funds: You may need to show the lender that you will have savings left over after you purchase the home. At least three months’ worth of mortgage payments is a good amount to have in reserve.

Step Two: Credit Score

In order to get a mortgage, especially one with a low interest rate, you usually need to have a good credit score. Scores range from 300-850 – the higher, the better. Your score is calculated using data from your credit report. Many lenders require a score of at least 680 to get a mortgage. Those with a score in the mid-700s or higher usually get the best interest rates. If your score is below the 680 mark, don’t despair. Here are some things you can do to improve your score: • From this point forward, always make your payments on time. • Pay down your debt. Keep balances under 40% of the credit limit. Pay off if possible. • If you already have 2-4 accounts open, avoid opening further accounts. • Keep older accounts active. • Avoid excessive credit applications.

Step Three: Examine Your Budget If the lender approves you for a $350,000 mortgage, that means you can afford a $350,000 mortgage, right? Not necessarily. Lenders typically take many factors into consideration; however, you may have more expenses than your debt. While your income and expenses can change after the home purchase, creating a budget gives you a better idea of what you can afford to spend than just basing it on a pre-approval amount. Don’t forget that you will have to pay property taxes and homeowners insurance.

For more financial tips, visit our website at www.livingoutli.org

“I thought all funeral homes conduct cremations the same. Boy, was I wrong.” Many people think all cremation providers are alike, until they hear terrible stories in the news about families who weren’t treated right. Our funeral home is the exclusive provider in our area to offer Cremation with Confidence™. This means we commit to a 10-step process in taking care of cremation. We are so committed, we offer the Cremation with Confidence™ Guarantee. Having served families for many years, we know how important it is to have peace of mind. Here at Moloney Family Funeral Homes, we have taken care of all the details.

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PHONE

Please clip and send to: Moloney’s Lake Funeral Home and Cremation Center 132 Ronkonkoma Ave. • Lake Ronkonkoma, NY 11779

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Ask for the Cremation with Confidence™ brochure.

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pet tips

by meryl lumba

living smart

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Points of view

Op-end

by Reverend Irene Monroe

Why No Gay Animals on Noah’s Ark? Like many Russell Crowe fans, I ran to see Darren Aronofsky’s controversial film “Noah” on opening day. While the iconic image of Noah is that of an old guy with a long untrimmed white beard, this movie version of the Biblical patriarch is one you could never imagine. And Crowe, as Noah, does a fantastic job bringing viewers into an unimaginable world. Aronofsky’s Noah is a conflicted axe-wielding social justice environmentalist. Crowe wrestles with an environmental disaster of biblical proportions and a demanding God commanding an ark be built; one that rivals the RMS Titanic. Aronofsky, however, freely uses his artistic license in some areas yet keeps certain troubling interpretations of the narrative the same; mainly racism and heterosexism. I was delighted to see the Curse of Ham excised from the plot. As a text of terror that for millennia gave biblical justification for slavery in this country and was then used to prop up various permutations of American racism, I welcomed its absence. But I was startled to see no men and women of color.

two-by-two are a spectacular parade, illustrating how deep homophobia has been since the canonization of this biblical tale and illustrating how long an obsession with gender identification has been with its male/ female coupling, too. The normative storyline of the Noah narrative to kids today is that of a big boat, a huge flood, a horde of cute little animals, and the significance of the dove and the rainbow as a way to gently get across the importance of obeying God. But with the biblical Noah narrative having morphed into one of today’s best beloved bible bedtime stories and animated movie for kids, how do you unmask its heterosexist moorings... and not be disobeying God?

Spokeswoman Mary Hines of the city’s Parks and Recreation Department told The Boston Globe, “Each year when the swans go in, the kids immediately come to us and say, ‘Which one’s Romeo and which one’s Juliet?’” Where the public might have thought a male was needed to make them a complete or authentic couple, neither of the girls seemed to be lamenting, “O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” Why? Because on any given day at the Public Garden you saw them swimming happily together in the lagoon.

Same-sex coupling is not a new phenomenon in the animal world. However, the disclosure of it doesn’t come without arguments to pathologize it.

Since Noah is driven by God’s wrath to rid the world of wickedness, I pondered, perhaps Aronofsky is also making a statement with an all-white cast. Another troubling aspect Aronofsky keeps intact with his story is the deluge of hetero-normativity. The indoctrination of compulsory heterosexuality appears innocuous in the film but its bombardment as normative will be glaring to some viewers and, sadly, invisible to others. For example, no intrusive or offensive statements about human sexualities— especially lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ)—are made in the film as in the Biblical narrative, but the unspoken statement is resounding and is underscored by the intentional heterosexual coupling of the animals. The animals ascending Noah’s ark 54

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How do you tell kids God is wrong? How do you convey to kids- straight and LGBTQ- that queer animals should receive the assurance of God’s covenant of safety during a tumultuous storm, too? Noah and the Ark has become a beloved children’s tale, with its two-by-twos. Aronofsky had the opportunity to show homosexuality as it exists in the animal world, giving parents a tool to teach about the LGBT world. For example, who would have thought that the politics of same-sex coupling of birds would a debatable topic in the marriage equality state of Massachusetts? But during the summer of 2005, more than a year after same-sex marriage became legal in the state, Boston’s beloved pair of swans in the Public Garden -- named Romeo and Juliet -- had been having a love affair that dared not speak its name. As Bay Staters bantered and bickered over whether the two should be allowed to stay together or be separated, these swans were being subjected to the same queries that have plagued same-sex couples in heterosexist societies for centuries – even in Noah’s time. Assuming that the swans were heterosexual until one of the couple’s eggs went unfertilized, Boston’s Parks and Recreation Department decided to conduct a “detailed gender test” by examining the swans’ reproductive organs. The findings disclosed that Romeo and Juliet were really more like Juliet and Juliet.

Moreover, the swans have been cohabiting for two years. Animal scientists have observed the monogamous nature of swans whether they are in opposite-sex or same-sex coupling – they stay with their mates until death, which can occur between 20 to 30 years. Same-sex coupling is not a new phenomenon in the animal world. However, the disclosure of it doesn’t come without arguments to pathologize it. The last scene in the Noah story a rainbow appears representing God’s promise to never destroy the earth by flood. I wanted to see two queer doves flying across the rainbow representing God’s promise to us, too.

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points of view op-ed

by reverend irene monroe

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