Issue 11, Volume 2: November 2014 by Living Out

Hotel Indigo_Living Out_halfpage_v2_NO BLEED.pdf

1/22/13

3:35 PM

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In THis Issue November 2014 - Volume 2, Issue 11 1 Cover 3 In this issue

2 3

4 5

6 7

8 9

in the news: 6 national 7 interNational 7 Celebrity news Out on LI: 8 Network News

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

Out front: 10 NICK JONAS Out and about: 13 Calendar 15 the

long island glbt business directory

35 BOOK REVIEW 35 AUTHOR INTERVIEW 37 SCREEN SAVOR

30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 CHECK OUT OUR NEWEST COLUMN SEEING IN THE DARK BY BELO MIGUEL CIPRIANI, AUTHOR OF BLIND: A MEMOIR, ON PAGE 47 FOR AN INSIGHT INTO LIVING LIFE AS A GAY & BLIND MAN IN CALIFORNIA

Living Out is produced by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network

David Kilmnick, Publisher info@livingoutli.org

20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797 516.323.0011

alexis capitini, Editor/Art Director editor@livingoutli.org art@livingoutli.org

Want to join our team as a monthly contributor?

Jonathan Chenkin, Advertising advertising@livingoutli.org

We’re looking for talented writers and photographers to get involved in Long Island’s newest GLBT publication!

Become a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/livingoutli or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/livingoutli

stay in the know Keep connected at livingoutli.org

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Contributors Chris Azzopardi, Christopher Boire, Belo Cipriani, Chris McNamee, Mike Murphy, Rev. Irene Monroe, Jennifer Nyx, Rachel Roth, Gregg Shapiro, Gwen Smith, Manny Velásquez-Paredes

Living healthy: 39 parenting: SHE NEVER LIKED DRESSES 40 wellness: EMBRACE YOUR UNIQUE-NESS Living smart: 41 Travel: DENVER 42 Finance: bait & Switch scams Points of view: 45 remembering two-spirits 46 For better, for worse 47 seeing in the dark

get published!

livingout follow our lead

38 BE scene: NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

apply to be a contributor Email editor@livingoutli.org! LIVING OUT

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In the news

national News

By Rachel Roth

Supreme Court Clears Way for Marriage Equality The Supreme Court denied review of seven petitions challenging samesex marriage bans, likely leading to wide-spread marriage equality. After the announcement, Colorado Attorney General John Suthers said that all of the county clerks in the state are “obligated” to issue samesex marriage and that his office won’t take up a marriage appeal. West Virginia Attorney General Patrick Morrisey, also announced that his office will no longer defend the state’s ban on marriage equality. A Missouri judge ruled that the state’s ban on recognizing same-sex marriage violates the constitutional

Minn. Board Delays Calif. Bans “Gay Panic” Guidelines for Trans High- Legal Defense School Athletes A board in Minnesota that consists of high-school sports coaches and administrators will vote Dec. 4 on a proposal to establish guidelines regarding transgender athletes’ requests to participate in school athletic programs. The board said that they were postponing the vote while “a committee examines the issue,” BuzzFeedNews reported. According to BuzzFeed, The Star Tribune, the largest newspaper in the state, recently aired a full-page advertisement from an antiLGBT group that criticized the proposal.

A federal appeals court declared gay marriage legal in Idaho and Nevada in early October. The declaration brought the number of states that allow gay marriage to 32. Judge Stephen Reinhart wrote for the unanimous three-judge panel that laws that treat people differently based on sexual orientation are unconstitutional unless there is a compelling government interest.

In Virginia, government agencies must incorporate same-sex marriage recognition into their policies under an executive order issued Tuesday by Gov. Terry McAuliffe. Same-sex marriage is now legal in 30 states including Washington, D.C.

House Dems Seek LGBT Immigrant Protections

California Gov. Jerry Brown signed legislation outlawing the “gay panic” and “trans panic” defenses that have been used in LGBT hate crimes. The law is the first of its kind in the country that specifically addresses the defense that claims that a person’s overwhelming hatred for LGBT people causes them to “panic” and commit terrible acts of violence against them.

same-sex marriage bans struck down in idaho, nevada

right to equal protection. According to the Washington Blade, state officials haven’t indicated whether they plan to appeal the ruling. A judge in Kansas also ordered Johnson County clerks to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

House Democrats are urging the president to consider LGBT issues when tackling immigration reform. In a Sept. 29 letter to President Obama, 44 members of Congress wrote that any forthcoming executive orders on immigration reform must take into account the “uniquely dangerous and difficult circumstances facing LGBT immigrants.” The letter, was led by Reps. Jared Polis (CO), Raul Grijalva (AZ), David Cicilline (RI) and Zoe Lofgren (CA). No Republicans signed.

NYC May Update Transgender Birth Certificate Policies The New York City Council and the administration of Mayor Bill de Blasio (left) are advancing proposed policy changes that would allow individuals with referrals from health care

professionals to change the gender on their birth certificates. Current policy requires proof of genderreassignment surgery before birth certificates can be altered.

In the statement he said, "Idaho and Nevada's marriage laws, by preventing same-sex couples from marrying and refusing to recognize same-sex marriages celebrated elsewhere, impose profound legal, financial, social and psychic harms on numerous citizens of those states." He also rejected the argument that same sex marriages will devalue traditional marriage, leading to out-of-wedlock births.

National Park Service Announces Grants for LGBT Groups LGBT groups in Kentucky and New York will receive matching grants from the National Park Service as part of an effort to expand the National Register of Historic Places. According to the Washington Blade, the National Park Service has given a $25,000 grant to the LGBT Heritage of Kentucky Project, a group that supports adding Louisville’s Henry Clay Hotel and Whiskey Row Historic District to the 6

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National Register of Historic Places. LGBT Sites in New York City Project received a grant in the amount of $49,999. Latino, Asian, African and Native American groups in Maryland, Virginia, California, Idaho, Massachusetts, Montana, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah and Washington also received matching grants from the National Park Service that total $500,000.

Facebook Changes Name Policy

Last month, Living Out featured an article by Gwen Smith about the “real name” policy Facebook had implemented. Facebook has now reversed its policy demanding that people use their “real names” on their profiles. The company also apologized to transgender and drag queen users whose accounts were deleted for violating the policy. The company now calls for people to “use the authentic name they use in real life.”

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international News

By Rachel Roth

Spain Passes AntiDiscrimination Law

Spain, the autonomous community of Catalonia passed a law that will punish attacks against the LGBT community with fines of up to $14,000. Despite being known as one of the more LGBT-friendly countries in Europe, with the legalization of same-sex marriage being almost a decade old, in 2014 the majority of the hate crimes committed had been motivated by sexual orientation or gender identity.

Kyrgyzstan Lawmakers Advance “Gay Propaganda” Bill Kyrgyzstan’s parliament voted to advance a draft of a Russian-style “gay propaganda” ban, bringing the bill one step closer to law in the Central Asian former Soviet republic. The ban proposes up to a year in prison for individuals, including journalists, found guilty of spreading “propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations,” Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty reported. The bill would also ban LGBT advocacy organizations.

Russia Says U.S. Same-Sex Couple Thousands Protest for Marriage Equality in Taiwan Illegally Adopted Student More than 120 civic groups protested outside the Taiwanese parliament in Taipei to demand the legalization of gay marriage. According to GayStarNews the Marriage Equality Revolution Front – organizers of the protest - estimated 20,000 people participated in the ‘rainbow siege’ outside the Legislative Yuan but media reports put the number at 2,000-4,000.

The Russian foreign ministry announced that it had suspended a 21-year-old program that placed Russian high school students with host families in the United States after alleging that a student had been put up for adoption and placed in the custody of a same-sex couple.

Cohabitation Bill Narrowly Passes Estonia Parliament

“A child who has a mother in Russia was illegally put up for adoption, and the boy was handed over to a homosexual American couple,” Russia’s child rights ombudsman, Pavel Astakhov (left), was quoted by the TASS news agency on Wednesday as saying, “The boy is healthy and comes from a good family, so it’s not clear what guidelines they were operating under in the U.S.”

Activists reportedly attached 112 padlocks with each legislator’s name on them to the parliament gates. ‘Equality keys’ were sent to legislators last month and those in support of gay marriage were invited to symbolically unlock the padlocks at the protest and 21 legislators accepted the invitation.

The Estonia government passed the Cohabitation Act, a law that enables cohabitating couples, irrespective of the gender of either partner, the right to register their relationship at a notary and enjoy the kinds of financial benefits conferred by marriage. The final version also provides for the possibility of adoption by unmarried cohabiting couples. According to Estonian Public Broadcasting, the bill, which will go into effect in 2016, narrowly passed with a 40-38 result.

celebrity News

Laverne cox lights empire state building for LGBTQ spirit day The Orange is the New Black star wore purple to the lighting of the Empire State Building for LGBTQ Spirit Day. She encouraged others to go online to ‘go purple’ in a united stand against bullying and to show their support for LGBTQ youth. Cox took part in the lighting ceremony, which lit the Empire State Building purple for the night, and took a few moments to address the crowd about why the effort to stop bullying is so close to her heart. “The issue of bullying is so deeply personal to me because I spent much of my youth being bullied, being called names, being chased home from school practically everyday,” Cox said. “Far too many LGBTQ youth are enduring the same thing across (the U.S.) and it’s unacceptable,” she continued. “I want LGBTQ youth to know that they are beautiful, that they are divinely made and that their lives matter.”

American horror story: freak show welcomes transgender performer

Raven-Symoné tells Oprah she doesn’t want to be labeled ‘gay’

Series regulars Jessica Lange, Evan Peters and Emma Roberts are joined by Erika Ervin (right) as “Amazon Eve.” Ervin says the role was originally written for a man but says she “auditioned for the part as a guy, slicked back my hair, no make-up...flannel shirt, bound my breasts, dropped my voice and walked in, and nailed it.” The actress, who has appeared on the Netflix series Hemlock Grove, also revealed the struggles she experienced with her family after coming out as transgender in 2004. She hopes that her American Horror Story role will allow her estranged father to see her “make it on TV and film” and believes that the transgender community at large could stand to learn from the shows overall message, “It’s more than a freak show,” she says, “There’s a family here.”

Recently, Raven Symone (above) sat down with Oprah and opened up about her strong sense of self, including her sexuality. Though relatively quiet about her personal life, last year, after the Supreme Court ruled the ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional, Raven tweeted, “I can finally get married! Yay government! So proud of you.” When asked about the tweet by Oprah, Raven respondes by saying, “I don’t want to be labeled ‘gay.’ I want to be labeled ‘a human who loves humans.’” When pressed further, she remarked, “I don’t label myself. I have darker skin. I have a nice, interesting grade of hair. I connect with Caucasian...I connect with Black...I connect with each culture.”

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out on li

HATE LETTERS REAFFIRM ORGANIZATION'S MISSION:

LONG ISLAND GLBT NETWORK RECEIVES 3RD HATE LETTER WITHIN 16 MONTHS Two days after the Long Island GLBT Network (The Network) announced plans for the first GLBT-friendly senior housing development in the Tri-State area, their community centers in Woodbury and Bay Shore received identical hate letters. The letters spewed homophobic hatred with degrading, graphic language and promises of violence. It was the second letter to be received since June, when a letter was delivered to The Network’s Bay Shore Center threatening Long Island Pride and PrideFest (below) with the type of violence that had occured at the Boston Marathon in 2013.

In a statement, David Kilmnick, The Network’s Chief Executive Officer, said, “These threatening letters are a reminder that despite advances in GLBT equality, homophobia and hate still exist and are very much alive. We must remain vigilant in our efforts to ensure Long Island is a safe and welcoming place for all GLBT people and families.”

(Above) Suffolk County Police Department arrives at The Network’s Bay Shore Center to investigate one of the hate letters (Below, left) Youth marching in the Long Island Pride Parade with Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY)

The hateful letters were turned over to the Nassau and Suffolk County Police Departments and their Hate Crimes Bureaus who are continuing efforts in their investigations to find the individual(s) that are behind the letters. Kilmnick went on to say that The Network’s “Centers are safe and all programs will continue as planned,” and “additional security measures have been taken...we have the utmost confidence in both Nassau and Suffolk County Police Departments.” Just one day after receiving the hate letters, more than 65,000 students and educators

PROJECT HELM Healthcare Enrollment for the LGBT Market

Through initiatives such as Project HELM (Health Enrollment for the LGBT Market), a program of The Long Island GLBT Network, Long Islanders have had the opportunity to learn more about the Affordable Care Act and the Health Insurance Marketplace, while also being screened for eligibility and enrolled in affordable health insurance. Here is some important information to remember as the 2015 Open Enrollment Period begins:

TAX CREDIT INCOME LEVEL

raised to $46,680 for an individual and $95,400 for a family of four

MEDICAID INCOME LEVEL

raised to $16,104 for an individual and $32,913 for a family of four

NEW INSURANCE OPEN ENROLLMENT: COMPANIES ARE begins November 15th and runs AVAILABLE through February 15, 2015. on the marketplace

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in 61 schools across Long Island stood up against hate as part of Long Island Gay and Lesbain Youth’s (LIGALY) 13th Annual “National Coming Out Day (NCOD) School Awareness Campaign.” The effort – which is one of the largest in the nation – is a reminder and demonstration of what this organization signifies and stands for – being out, proud, visible and building coalitions and creating change. Kilmnick’s statement ends by saying, “We will continue to carry the torch for nothing short of full equality and complete safety for all our families in every school, city, town and village across Long Island…and we will do so with great pride.”

EASY RENEWALS New York State has created an easy renewal process for those who enrolled through the NYS marketplace last year

ALL PLANS WILL STILL COVER

all of the 10 Essential Benefits: FREE Preventative Wellness and Chronic Disease Management, which includes flu shots, HIV/STD tests, substance use/abuse screenings; Laboratory and Imaging Services; Prescription drug coverage; Mental Health and Substance Abuse services, including counseling and psychotherapy; Ambulatory Care (doctor’s visits); Emergency Care; Hospitalization; Maternity/ New Born Care; Pediatric care, including pediatric vision and dental; Rehabilitation and Habilitative services and devices (to assist someone who is disabled, living with, or recovering from an injury or chronic illness)

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out on li

MORE THAN 65,000 COME OUT IN ONE DAY

LONG ISLAND GAY AND LESBIAN YOUTH CELEBRATES NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY On Friday, October 10th, Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) organized its largest National Coming Out Day awareness and visibility campaign ever. More than 65,000 students and educators “Came Out” for safer schools. 61 schools across Nassau and Suffolk counties implemented Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth’s (LIGALY’s) National Coming Out Day (NCOD) campaign. 15 out of the

61 schools were new to participating in the program and LIGALY led 19 trainings throughout Long Island to provide additional support. The goal of LIGALY’s National Coming Out Day School Awareness Campaign is to create safer schools for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) students. The campaign engages an entire school community to take a stand against anti-GLBT harassment and bullying by empowering GLBT and straight-ally youth (Left) Students at Sachem North High School “Came Out” in support of safer schools (Above) Harborfields High School students hand out rainbow ribbons and Ally stickers to their peers throughout the school day

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to implement the campaign at their own schools across Long Island. As a result, GLBT and straight ally youth create the change they want to see. Students engaged in a variety of activities to reach out to their school communities. Many schools held bake sales and distributed rainbow ribbons and Ally stickers, provided by LIGALY, throughout the day. Some schools shared information on NCOD during their morning announcements, while others had students share their personal stories with their classmates. The annual Campaign is led by LIGALY’s Safe Schools Team, a dynamic group of student activists that evaluate, direct, and implement programs and services to create safer and more supportive schools.

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Getting to the Core of Nick Jonas Abs, album and that gay striptease ‘they made me do’

Photos by Andrew Zaeh by chris azzopardi 10

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out Front

hen you think of Nick Jonas – and let’s face it, you’ve been thinking a lot about him lately – a few things come to mind: the straightedged Jonas Brothers. Former flames Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. His abs.

Per his handlers, two of those topics were off-limits during my chat with Nick, but so what. Ever since he posted a salacious Instagram pic of his fit, V-cut torso in 2013, it’s been ab this, ab that. The 22-year-old BFF to the gay community is also releasing a self-titled, post-Jonas Brothers album, which he chatted about during our interview. You know, in addition to his abs.

time prior to the promotion (of this album) to establish exactly what I want to say, who I wanna talk to and the steps I wanna take.

Did the lack of gay media have anything to do with your handlers? Were people telling you not to do gay press to maintain your conservative Disney image?

To be honest, I don’t think it was that. I think if we had wanted to make an effort there it wouldn’t have been an issue. It was important and it is important to me, and it’s also important to me as I transition into acting.

I’m on a show called Kingdom where my character goes on a pretty interesting journey. I can’t give anything away – no spoilers – but it’s been fun as an actor to be willing to go to that place. I love playing this role that I play, and I’m excited for the audience to go on this journey with me.

Clearly my heart is in the right place, and more than anything, if they just looked at my life and my gay friends and the authentic nature of where my heart is, they’d just see that they’re kind of ignorant.

You’re currently on tour, and considering how much attention you’ve given the gays lately, how gay are the audiences that come out to see you? It’s been pretty awesome to look out and see a difference in the crowd. It’s not drastic by any means; it was kind of there prior, but there’s definitely more of them embracing this next chapter in my life and my music. All that, I can feel. Looking out, there is probably a handful more gay fans out there, which is incredible.

So, like, if you had to rate the gayness of a Nick Jonas show, where would it fall on the Kinsey Scale, 1 being straight and 6 being totally gay?

(Laughs) I don’t know if I can answer that just yet. I think I need to let it continue to evolve. It’s in the early stages here. Let’s see where we get in the next couple of months and then we’ll make that call.

You have a point. Considering you just performed in San Francisco, the number would be skewed. (Laughs) Exactly!

Wait, your sex scene is not real? (Laughs) It’s not.

Why is it so important for you to reach out to the gays for your solo debut?

You said recently that part of the reason you’re so adamant about reaching out to the gay community is because you don’t feel like the Jonas Brothers did enough of it before. So, is this gay media blitz your way of making up for lost time? (Laughs) Maybe! I think my brothers and I did what we could, but at that time, in our career and during that moment in our lives, it was pretty crazy. We had so much going on that we were, I think, just trying to stay on top of everything. I’ve had a little

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Considering you’ve revealed there’s a nude scene, we are also excited to go on this journey with you. What’s it like shooting a nude scene? It’s pretty bizarre. The way you have to go into it… it’s not real. As actors, it’s our job to tell these stories, and with a show like Kingdom, you go the extra mile and push the boundaries and keep it very real. So, in that moment, it’s just about telling the story the best way you can while trying to be honest. As far as any of the physicality goes – or nudity or sex scenes – it’s just about knowing that it isn’t real.

When I was setting up this record and meeting with the team about it, I told them that I really wanted to make an effort to embrace that part of my audience. I’ve known for a long time that it is a great part of the audience, and I just never felt like we made all the effort we could to embrace them. It’s been really fun and really incredible.

When did you know the gay community was embracing you?

I think it was a combination of things. I did theater prior to recording music, and so at a very young age I made a lot of really close gay friends. When I started recording music, and my brothers and I started recording and touring, we saw pretty quickly – this was back in 2005/2006 – that this was a big part of our audience. As the years went on, and as I went back into theater, I made the (gay community) a priority. It’s about embracing all sides.

Because your abs are now famous as well, do you feel obligated to show them at every show? (Laughs) Umm, no. I haven’t showed them at any of my shows. That was more so when I was in New York celebrating the release of the new music and I went to a couple of gay clubs and… (Laughs) They kind of made me do it, so I had to! But as far as my shows go, I keep it fully clothed.

I saw the video online, Nick. I didn’t see anyone taking your shirt off for you. It was a few drinks in at that point. All bets were off.

When you show up at a gay club like the ones in New York, do guys hit on you? Do they flirt? And how do you approach a situation like that? Yeah, it’s interesting. Whether it comes from people who are aware of me and my personal life, or the person who was on the microphone saying it, there’s a general awareness that I am straight but totally embracing of the gay community. I love my gay fans, so it was just a lot of love, and there wasn’t a whole lot of hitting on me and flirting. A little bit, which was actually kind of fun. (Laughs) It was a pretty new LIVING OUT

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As the years went on, and as I went back into theater, I made the (gay community) a priority. It’s about embracing all sides.

environment for me, so I was just trying to take it all in and have a good time.

What do you make of naysayers who say you’re just using your body to bait the gay community?

Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. I think it’s unfortunate that some people have to find a negative in every situation. Clearly my heart is in the right place, and more than anything, if they just looked at my life and my gay friends and the authentic nature of where my heart is, they’d just see that they’re kind of ignorant. The nature of where we are today is, we’re in a time where we need to make strides and step forward as a society and embrace all people from all different walks of life. When you’re trying to make a bold statement like that, some people aren’t gonna fall in line with that. And that’s OK. You gotta stay on your own path.

You’ve recently opened up about your religious journey and how you’ve taken off your “purity ring.” Did the gay people in your life have anything to do with reexamining your religion? Have you always been this accepting of homosexuality?

That’s a good question. I always have been. I think that’s a testament to growing up in the theater and from an early age being surrounded by (gay people), and my parents – although my dad was a pastor – were very open-minded and said the same thing that I say, “We have to love people

TUESDAY NOV. 25

SATURDAY NOV. 29

SUN. NOV. 30 • 7PM

TUESDAY DEC. 2

WEDNESDAY DEC. 3

SUNDAY DEC. 7 • 7PM

FRIDAY DEC. 12

DEC. 17, 18, 19, 20

from all walks of life, and that’s the key.” It was nice to come from that.

Definitely my opinion and my feelings on faith and religion, specifically, have evolved over time just having seen some of the judgments that other people show toward the lesbian and gay community. It really burdens my heart, and it saddens me in a huge way because I feel like it’s not our place to judge at all. Some of the most loving, caring relationships that I’ve ever seen are between my gay friends, and some of my straight friends’ relationships are the worst examples of what love is.

With your parents being as open-minded as they are, were there gay people in your life even before you pursued theater?

There were. My parents were always good about having an open mind toward everyone. Like I said, although church and religion were a cornerstone for us in a lot of ways, they (my parents) were open, and especially after we left the church and had to develop our own faith is when my views and opinions started to take shape.

Would you still consider yourself Christian?

I say now that I have a relationship with God and that it’s my own relationship with God. It’s one of those things that I try to keep most personal because I think that’s the healthiest way I’ve learned to deal with it. I keep it as that, and I know that I love God and he loves me.

For more information visit www.TheTheatreAtWestbury.com Box Office Open Monday-Saturday 12:30PM-5:30PM

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

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show your pride

calendar of events SAGE-LI Thanksgiving Potluck Dinner Friday, Nov. 7th, 6 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Join us on the East End for a Thanksgiving feast! Share your favorite holiday dish and feel free to bring friends and loved ones. Please RSVP with Manny Velasquez-Paredes at 631.899.4950 by Wednesday, November 5th and include the dish you are bringing. There is no Sag Harbor Mingle this day. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

Volunteer Orientation Tuesday, Nov. 11th, 7-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Monday, Nov. 17th, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Be Proud, Be Responsible! Saturday, Nov. 15th, 10am-4pm Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore A fun full day workshop dedicated to providing GLBT youth and their allies with the power to make proud and responsible choices concerning their sexual health. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Restaurant OUTing: Swing The Pot Friday, Nov. 14th, 5:30 p.m. 6 Verbena Avenue, Floral Park, NY 11001 SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip: Theatre Box Friday, Nov. 14th, 8 p.m. 35 Verbena Avenue, Floral Park, NY 11001 We are having dinner at Swing the Pot at 5:30pm. The menu ranges from $5-$15 and offers paninis, burgers, sandwiches and salads. We are then attending the 8pm showing of the comedy performance, Festival of One Act Plays at Theatre Box. Acts include Happily Never After, The Actor's Nightmare, and Ledge, Ledger and the Legend. Tickets cost $10 per person. RSVP and ticket payment required by Thursday, November 13th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SNAP: Sexual Negotiation and Prevention Saturday, Nov. 15th, 10am-4pm Saturday, Nov. 22nd,10am-4pm Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Discussion and support group for GLBT people in their 20’s. A safe and affirming Sexual Negotiation and Prevention space to share their experiences. (SNAP) is a group about friends (both old www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011 and new) talking about sexual health Advisory Board (SAGE-LI) and everyday issues that impact our Tuesday, Nov. 4th 1-2 p.m. communities, especially stopping HIV/ Nassau: Center at Woodbury, AIDS. Young Gay and Bi men up to age 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, 24 will meet two Saturdays in a row (11/15, 11/22) at The Center at Woodbury Suite 110, Woodbury We want to hear your voice! This group and all graduates get a $50 gift card. provides feedback on current SAGE-LI RSVPs are required, space is limited programming, offers ideas for additional please RSVP early. programming, and helps plan future www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 events. All are welcome! SAGE-LI Movie & Discussion: www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Portrait of a Marriage Tuesday, Nov. 18th, 11 a.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

November 9th 12pm – 5pm Long Island Hilton in Melville 598 Broadhollow rd. Melville, NY 11747

Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Join us for this melodrama detailing Closed group for all ages. the real-life love affair between feminist www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 writer Vita Sackville0West and novelist Brother2Brother Violet Keppel against the backdrop of post-World War 1 England. This is a two- 2nd & 4th Fridays, 7-8 p.m. part movie with a 15 minute intermission Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, followed by a group discussion. Suite 110, Woodbury www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Social and discussion group for gay and Transgender Day of bisexual men of color age 21+. Remembrance www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Wednesday, Nov. 19th, 7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, Drop-In Health Insurance 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Enrollment: Please join us as we memorialize those Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. who have lost their lives across the world Nassau: Center at Woodbury, in previous years due to anti-transgender 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury bias and hatred. Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, SAGE-LI Health & Wellness 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Potluck Dinner Tuesdays, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Friday, Nov. 21st, 6:30 p.m. East End: The Hamptons Nassau: Center at Woodbury, GLBT Center, 44 Union St., 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Sag Harbor Suite 110, Woodbury www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 Join us for a Friday night Potluck dinner that is followed by a Reiki Circle led by Reiki Master, Lianna Murphy. We encourage you to bring your healthiest specialty dish. RSVP with with the dish you are bringing required by Wednesday, November 19th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Munch & Mingle: Thanksgiving Lunch Monday, Nov. 24th, 11 a.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

SUNDAY

20 Something 2nd & 4th Fridays, 7:30-9 p.m Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing: Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st Friday, 4-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

Free and confidential testing for HIV, Join us for a very special Mingle with your Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. SAGE-LI family as we gather and enjoy www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 a delicious Thanksgiving lunch. Lunch Hampton Bays Mingle includes turkey, vegetables, stuffing and gravy! RSVP with $10 payment is 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 3-5 p.m. required by Monday, November 17th. Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Senior Focus Group Monday, Nov. 24th,1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Come join our coed, peer-led, issuefocused discussion group. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Hampton Bays

SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT seniors 50+ on the East End. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Latino Group 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors The Latino Group provides support 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. services to Long Island's GLBT and www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 allied Latino's of all ages. The group seeks to create an energetic and diverse Nassau County Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. understanding of issues affecting the Latino community directly with an effort Nassau: Center at Woodbury, to create a supportive network of friends. 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950 SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors LIFE in Nassau 50+ at The Center at Woodbury 2nd Thursday, 7-9 p.m. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIFE in Nassau meets every second Thursday. Open to adults of all genders and orientations with an interest in BDSM topics.

LIGALY Advisory Board Mondays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473

LITE Social and Discussion Group 1st & 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st & 3rd Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Living PositHIVly 1st & 3rdThursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury A support group for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Long Island GLBT Bereavement Group 2nd & 4th Mondays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

OUTlet Fridays, 8 p.m.-Midnight Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. Themes for this month include "Video Game Night" (Nov. 7th), "Drag Night" (Nov. 14th) and "International Food Night" (Nov. 21st). $2 admission, transportation available. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Parents Open House 2nd & 4th Tuesdays, 6-7 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

SAGE-LI Evening Mingle 3rd Wednesday, 7-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury If you workand/or have engagements during the day that limit you from attending the fabulous SAGE-LI daytime programming, this is the program for you. All are welcome! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

SAGE-LI Women at Nassau (SWAN) Wednesdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women as well as women questioning their identity. There will be no SWAN on Wednesday, November 19th. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Calling Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth and their friends to show off their skills! Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Open to parents & guardians og GLBT children. Come and see what programs our Center has to offer, meet the staff, take a tour, and we will answer any questions you may have. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Parent Support Group 1st & 3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

You Gotta Believe Mondays, 6-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

The Long Island GLBT Community Center has partnered with You Gotta Believe, a non-profit organization that places teenagers into permanent adoptive homes, to provide Adoptive Parent Preparation Classes! If you are interested in participating, please call 631.665.2300. www.liglbtnetwork.org

PEP Teams – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Interactive leadership program promoting sexual health for GLBT young people. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Safe Schools Team Wednesdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Sag Harbor Mingle 1st & 3rd Fridays, 3-5 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for lesbians age 40+.

Youth Group Tuesdays, 5-8 p.m. Fridays, 4-7 p.m. East End: The Hamptons GLBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor All East End youth should come check out this new hot GLBT spot. Every Tuesday is a fun interactive youth group: hang out with others in the lounge. You won’t want to miss it! www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

Youth Support Group 4th Thursday, 5-6p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

For all youth under 21 to come share their The Hamptons GLBT Center is officially thoughts, problems and ups and downs open and SAGE-LI is bringing a Mingle to in a confidential, safe space. This group provides a safe and supportive Sag Harbor! Bring your friends and come www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950 environment for those who have meet new ones. experienced the loss of a loved one or www.liglbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950 friend while offering help and guidence with the grieving process. www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

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ABOUT THIS BUSINESS DIRECTORY The 2014-2015 Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Business Directory is the exclusive listing of GLBTfriendly businesses on Long Island. The Directory is a publication of The Long Island GLBT Services Network.

encourage you to patronize our Partners in Pride members.

Each business listed within the directory is a member of The Network’s Partners in Pride business program. Each business has provided financial support to The Long Island GLBT Services Network, and we thank each business for their participation. Please support those who support us: we strongly

If you are a business owner or manager, or if you know a business or business leader that should be involved with Partners in Pride, please contact the Development Department at 516.323.0011.

The Long Island GLBT Business Directory is also available online at www.liglbtnetwork. org.

Thank you and enjoy your 2014-2015 Long Island GLBT Business Directory!

THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

BUSINESS CATEGORY ACCOUNTANTS ADOPTION ATTORNEY ATTORNEYS AUTOMOTIVE BANKING CATERING CRUISE & TRAVEL EMPLOYMENT AGENCY ENTERTAINMENT & NIGHTLIFE FINANCIAL SERVICES

3 3 3 3 3 4 4 4 4 7

GIFT SHOP HEALTH & WELLNESS SERVICES HOME SERVICES HOSPITALS HOTEL, CATERING & CONFERENCE INSURANCE INVESTIGATIVE SERVICES MEDIA NON-PROFIT

7 7 7 8 8 8 9 9 9

PHYSICIANS & HEALTH SERVICES 9 REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE 10 RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS 10 TECHNOLOGY 10 THERAPISTS & COUNSELORS 12 TOLERANCE EDUCATION 12 WEDDING SERVICES 14 CORPORATE PARTNERS 17

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG V “ MOST UNBEATABLE ” L F  2014  L I P

We are more than attorneys; we are trusted counselors and advisors to our clients in the GLBT community.

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VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

ACCOUNTANTS

Tayne Law Group P.C.

Peter J. Bertuglia, CPA, PC, CFP 775 Park Avenue, Suite 222 Huntington, NY 11743 tel. ��(631) 385-7003 email �� pjb@bertugliacpa.com web �� www.bertugliacpa.com

Robert A. Corsentino, CPA, PC 105 Maxess Rd. S124 Melville, NY 11747 tel. ��(631) 574-4500 fax. ��(631) 574-4501 email �� bob@corsentinocpa.com web �� www.corsentinocpa.com All tax services for married and unmarried GLBT taxpayers. Look for our ad on the previous page

Steven M. Ostrer, J.D. 20 Crossways Park Drive North, Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797 tel. ��(516) 448-4714 email ��s.ostrer@yahoo.com

ADOPTION ATTORNEY You Gotta Believe! The Older Child Adoption and Permanency Movement 751 Coates Ave., Suite 45 Holbrook, NY 11741 tel. ��(631) 588-3045 3114 Mermaid Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11224 tel. ��(718) 372-3003 email ��ntodd@yougottabelieve.org email �� www.yougottabelieve.org Adoption of older children and teens in foster care. HRC recognized as GLBT affirming.

ATTORNEYS

Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld, LLP Gregory Matalon, Partner 100 Jericho Quadrangle, Suite 233 Jericho, NY 11753 tel. ��(516) 931-8100 email ��gmatalon@cbmslaw.com web �� www.cbmslaw.com Look for our ad on page 4

LIST YOUR BUSINESS HERE! JOIN THE DIRECTORY TODAY. CALL 516.323.0011 OR VISIT LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Meyer, Suozzi, English & Klein P.C. 900 Stewart Avenue, Suite 300 Garden City, NY 11530 tel. ��(516) 741-6565 fax. ��(516) 741-6706 email ��info@msek.com web �� www.msek.com Alternative Dispute Resolution, Bankruptcy & Business Reorganization, Corporate FInance, Corporate Law, Criminal Defense, Education Law Including Bullying, Employment Law Including Discrimination and Harassment Claims, ERISA & Employment Benefits, Government Relations, Labor Law, Litigation, Local Government, Land Use Law & Environmental Compliance, Personal Injury, Professional REsponsibility, Real Estate, Tax Certiorari & Condemnation and Wills, Trusts & Same-Sex Estate Planning Look for our ad on the previous page

Howard E. Sayetta Attorney at Law 235 Southwood Circle Syosset, NY 11791 tel. ��(516) 921-0556 General Practice, Wills, Real Estate, Family Court...35 Years Experience

Larry R. Martinez, Esq. Meltzer, Lippe, Goldstein & Breitstone, LLP 190 Willis Ave. Mineola, NY 11501 tel. �� (516) 747-0300, Ext. 155 fax. ��(516) 237-2893 email �� lmartinez@meltzerlippe.com web �� www.meltzerlippe.com Corporate Labor and Employment Law

Law Office of Adam B. Grossman Adam B. Grossman, Esq., Sole Practitioner P.O. Box 155 120 Court Sreet Riverhead, NY 11901 tel. ��(631) 727-4200 fax. ��(631) 369-4080 email �� agrossman2@verizon.net web. . . . . . . . . . . . www.adamgrossmanlawyer.com Estate planning for LGBT couples and singles, Real

Estate, Probate

Pegalis & Erickson Attorneys at Law Annamarie Bondi-Stoddard 1 Hollow Lane Lake Success, NY 11042 tel. ��(516) 684-2900 fax. ��(516) 684-2939 email. . . . . . . . . . . . . info@pegalisanderickson.com web. . . . . . . . . . . . . . www.pegalisanderickson.com Representing Plaintiffs in Medical Malpractis Actions

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Leslie H. Tayne, Esq. 150 Broadhollow Road, Ste. 213 Melville, NY 11747 tel. ��(631) 470-8204 fax. ��(631) 470-8211 email �� info@taynelaw.com web ��www.taynelaw.com Debt Resolution and Bankuptcy Alternatives

AUTOMOTIVE South Shore Honda

Robert Spanier 704 West Merrick Road Valley Stream, NY 11580 tel. ��(516) 285-8036 fax. ��(516) 285-4978 web �� www.southshorehonda.com New and Used Car Sales Look for our ad on page 8

Competition Subaru Smithtown

Cris Notaro 463 Middle Country Road St. James, NY 11780 tel. ��(631) 361-4500 fax. ��(631) 361-4550 email �� cnotaro@competitionsubaru.com email ��ckelleher@competitionsubaru.com web �� www.competitionsubaru.com Your Destination for the Subaru Best Price Guarantee

Nardy Honda

Khalid Syed 559 Middle Country Road St. James, NY 11780 tel. ��(631) 724-0300 fax. ��(631) 724-5981 email ��syed@nardyhonda.com web ��www.nardyhonda.com Stands the test of time

BANKING

Bethpage Federal Credit Union

Robert Suarez, AVP Community Development 899 S. Oyster Bay Rd. Bethpage, NY 11714 tel ��(516) 349-6826 email ��rsuarez@bethpagefcu.com web �� www.lovebethpage.com You’ll love banking here! Look for our ad on page 5 Find a Branch Near You: • Bay Shore • Huntington, • Port • Bethpage Levittown Jefferson • Central Islip • Lynbrook • Roosevelt • Commack • Massapequa • Seaford • Elmont • Melville • Smithtown • Farmingdale • Mineola • West • Freeport • North Babylon • Glen Cove Babylon • Westbury • Hempstead • Patchogue Visit www.bethpagefcu.com for directions. 3

THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

The BBQ King

TD Bank

tel �� (888) 751-9000 web ��www.tdbank.com America’s most convenient bank Look for our ad on page 6

Andy Spirou 87 Carlough Road Bohemia, NY 11716 tel �� (866) 800-FOOD(3006) fax �� (631) 589-2918 email ��thebbqking@outlook.com web ��www.thebarbequeking.com “We do it all, while you have a ball!”

CRUISE & TRAVEL

CATERING Crackers Restaurant-Deli-Catering

585 Stewart Avenue Garden City, NY 11530 tel �� (516) 227-3739

Mediterranean Manor Caterers

Lois Piro 303 East Main St. Patchogue, NY 11772 tel �� (631) 289-5857 email ��lois@medmanor.com web �� www.medmanor.com Look for our ad on page 8

Long Island Convention & Visitors Bureau & Sports Commission

Janet Clark 330 Motor Parkway, Suite 203 Hauppauge, NY 11788 tel �� (631) 951-3900 email �� jclark@discoverlongisland.com web �� www.discoverlongisland.com Ocean beaches, wineries, history, more. Free Long Island Travel Guide.

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY Robert Half

Gabrielle Petitto 522 RXR Plaza, 5th Floor Uniondale, NY 11556 tel �� (516) 357-2010 email ��gabrielle.petitto@officeteam.com web �� www.roberthalf.com Worldwide Leader in Specialized Consulting & Staffing Services Look for our ad on page 7

ENTERTAINMENT & NIGHTLIFE NYCB Theatre at Westbury

960 Brush Hollow Road Westbury, NY 11590 tel �� (516) 334-0800 fax �� (516) 333-7991 email ��infotaw@livenation.com web �� www.thetheatreatwestbury.com Long Island’s Best Concert Venue – Comedy, Rock, Pop, Variety

The Paramount

370 New York Avenue Huntington, NY 11743 tel �� (631) 673-7300 email �� marketing@paramountny.com web ��www.paramountny.com Long Island’s Best New Music Venue

Is proud to support

Long Island GLBT Services Network Counselors and Advisors:       

Last Wills and Testaments and Trusts Estate Administration Business and Contracts Tax Planning Asset Protection Elder Advocacy Not-for-Profit and Religious Corporations Offices on Long Island and in New York City www.cbmslaw.com (516) 931-8100

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

AFFINITY PROGRAM: A MESSAGE FROM OUR COPORATE PARTNER

Exceptional Value. Extraordinary Service. Bethpage is owned by its members, so every dollar that is earned is reinvested in better rates and lower fees for our members. That difference in ownership translates to a difference in service that banks can't match. That's the Bethpage difference! First Mortgage (Purchase or Refinance) • NO application fee - a savings of $95! Home Equity Line of Credit • NO closing costs for loans or lines up to $250,000. • Save 0.25% with automatic transfer payment from a Bethpage checking account. Credit and Financial Education • FREE one-on-one credit counseling after hours with certified credit counselors at Balance Pro, a Bethpage Federal Credit Union partner. Business Services • Great rates, low fees! • Personalized service by local Business Specialists and underwriters! • Scan and deposit your checks from your office directly into your Bethpage Business Checking account. Auto Loan • Refinance your auto loan from another financial institution and see how much you can save each month! For more information, please contact:

Refer-a-Friend – Earn up to $250!

Refer up to 10 people to earn $250!* When you refer a friend, you get $25!*

FREE Direct Deposit When you do full direct deposit to a Bethpage checking account, we will give you $50** and give $50 to the Long Island GLBT Services Network on your behalf! You can also get co-branded checks!

Bethpage Credit Card – New & Improved with more options!

Bethpage offers 3 card types to choose from: • Low Interest Rate: as low as 8.15% APR*** • Low Introductory Rate: 2.99% APR for the first 12 months*** • CU Rewards: Cash Back • CU Rewards: Points - Redeem for travel, hotel stays, cruises and more! You can also choose to get a co-branded credit card!

Kyle Caravousanos 516-349-6870 kcaravousanos@bethpagefcu.com

More than 60 Branches and Shared Service Centers across Long Island Over 500 Surcharge-Free ATMs including CVS, 7-Eleven†, King Kullen and Costco† locations Free Online, Mobile, Telephone Banking and Mobile Check Deposit. †

Must show Co-Op logo. Membership conditions may apply.

* This promotion is open to all members with a Bethpage checking account who refer a friend to open a Bethpage Bonus Checking account. This offer may be withdrawn without prior notice. Share Account with $5 minimum balance is required before a checking account can be opened. “Refer a Friend” promotional payments will be deposited only after a member referral opens a checking account. Members are limited to 10 referrals, for a total payout of $250. ** Promotional funds deposited into new checking account is considered interest and will be reported on IRS form 1099-INT. Taxes are the responsibility of the member. Offer may be withdrawn without prior notice. *** APR=Annual Percentage Rate. Rates and terms accurate as of 10/1/2014. 2.99% APR Introductory rate is good for 12 months on balance transfers and purchases from the date that your new credit card account is opened. After this promotion period, your APR will be 8.15% - 21.20%, based on creditworthiness. Rates and terms subject to change without notice. Other rates and terms available. All offers of credit are subject to credit approval; applicants may be offered credit at higher rates and other terms.

lovebethpage.com | 800-628-7070 VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

At TD Bank, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re proud to celebrate the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community.

TD Bank, N.A. | Equal Housing Lender

VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

FINANCIAL SERVICES

Calendar Sunrooms of Long Island

Premier Debt Resolution

David Herbst 809 Carman Avenue Westbury, NY 11590 tel ��(631) 778-6200 fax ��(631) 778-6206 email ��david@premierdebtresolution.com web �� www.premierdebtresolution.com Debt Relief

Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC

Paul Pitsironis, Branch Manager 222 East Main Street Smithtown, NY 11787 tel ��(631) 360-2440 email ��paul.pitsironis@wellsfargoadvisors.com web �� www.wellsfargo.com Financial Services Look for our ad on page 15

GIFT SHOP

wit & whim

6 Carlton Avenue Port Washington, NY 11050 tel ��(516) 944-9200 email ��witandwhim@gmail.com web �� www.wit-and-whim.com A unique philanthropic gift shop where edgy meets chic & artsy meets affordable Look for our ad on page 9

HEALTH & WELLNESS SERVICES

AIDS Healthcare Foundation

Michael Camacho 515 Bellport Avenue Bellport, NY 11713 tel ��(631) 432-6904 email �� michael.camacho@aidshealth.org web �� www.hivcare.org Cutting edge medicine and advocacy – regardless of ability to pay Look for our ad on page 14

Cleansing Concepts

269 East Main Street Smithtown, NY 11787 825 Eastgate Blvd. Garden City, NY 11530 tel ��(516) 640-5322 email ��info@cleansingconcepts.com web. . . . . . . . . . www.cleansingconceptsworld.com Cleanse Your Body - Rejuvinate Your Life

Island Family Chiropractic Wellness

Glenn M. Gibson, DC 165 Pauls Path Coram, NY 11727 tel ��(631) 346-3660 fax ��(631) 346-3661 email �� docgibson1026@gmail.com web �� www. islandfamilychiropracticwellness.com “Welcome to Our Family”

HOME SERVICES Ben’s General Contracting Corporation

Drew Patrick Spa

Drew Patrick Allt 128 West Main Street Bay Shore, NY 11706 tel ��(631) 206-3739 email ��info@drewpatrickspa.com web �� www.drewpatrickspa.com

Tyra Kasendorf 19 Suffolk Street Freeport, NY 11520 tel ��(516) 623-2945 fax ��(516) 977-1362 email ��tyrak@bgccorp.com web �� www.bgccorp.com BGCC Proudly Serves the GLBT Community

135 Verdi Street Farmingdale, NY 11735 tel ��(631) 501-1280 email �� sales@longislandsunrooms.com web �� www.calendarsunrooms.com Sunrooms - Our Only Business for 70 Years!

Custom Closets Direct

145 East Merrick Road Freeport, NY 11520 tel ��(516) 223-2232 fax ��(516) 223-2143 email �� curt@customeclosetsdirect.com web �� www.customclosetsdirect.com Custom closets, home offices, entertainment centers, built-ins and more!

Designing with Elements, LTD.

700 Lakeland Avenue Bohemia, NY 11716 tel ��(631) 573-6600 email ��team@designingwithelements.com web ��www. designingwithelements.com Landscape and Exterior Designers

Metamorphosis Landscape Design LTD

744 Nesconset Hwy. Smithtown, NY 11787 tel ��(631) 673-6382 fax ��(631) 501-1154 email ��metalandscapedesign@gmail.com email ��www.metalandscapedesign.com Changing the Way You Look At Landscaping

Sunation Solar Systems

Tammy Lea, Marketing Director 1217 Montauk Highway Oakdale, NY 11769 tel ��(631) 750-9454 fax ��(631) 750-9455 email ��tammy@sunationsolarsystems.com web ��www.sunationsolarsystems.com Solar Panel Installation

U.S. Home Remodeling Corp

706 Atlantic Avenue Baldwin, NY 11510 tel ��(516) 377-6853 email ��warrenglick@yahoo.com web ��www.americanrenovation.com Home Renovation and Remodeling, Specializing in Kitchens and Baths

YOU ASK. WE ANSWER. For insight into financial salaries, trends and hiring from the industry’s leading staffing firm, visit the Robert Half Salary Center: roberthalf.com/salarycenter. 1.800.803.8367 roberthalf.com © 2014 Robert Half International Inc. An Equal Opportunity Employer M/F/D/V. 0914-9015

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THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

HOSPITALS

North Shore Long Island Jewish Health System

301 East Main St. Bay Shore, NY 11706 tel ��(631) 968-3000 email �� efraser@nshs.edu web ��www.northshorelij.com Hospitals in Manhasset, Syosset, Bay Shore, Plainview, Glen Cove, Staten Island, Queens, and Manhattan

HOTEL, CATERING, & CONFERENCE Danfords Hotel and Marina

Therese Coppola, Director of Sales 25 East Broadway Port Jefferson, NY 11777 tel ��(631) 928-5200 fax ��(631) 928-9082 email �� tcoppola@danfords.com web ��www.danfords.com The perfect setting for weddings, social events and conferences

Heron Suites at Port of Egypt Marina

Erin Doucett 61600 Main Road Southold, NY 11971 tel ��(631) 765-5121 email �� info@heronsuites.com web ��www.heronsuites.com Your one stop destination resort. Look for our ad on page 12

INSURANCE Allstate Insurance

John M. Cuenin 629 Route 112, Suite 10 Patchogue, NY 11772 tel ��(631) 758-7225 fax ��(631) 758-7229 email �� jc@allstate.com web �� www.allstate.com/012089 Auto, Homeowners, Life, and Long-Term Care Insurance

Budget Brokerage

Leslie Larson M.S., Ed., PD, CAS, LUTCF

576 Broad Hollow Road Melville, NY 11747 tel ��(516) 972-4463 fax ��(516) 221-3729 email ��ljlarson@ft.newyorklife.com web ��www.leslielarson.com Serving the GLBT community for all Life & Health Insurance and Psychological Needs: Estate & Retirement Planning, Long-Term Care, & Life Insurance, Annuities, 401k Rollovers, Medicare Supplement and Medicaid Advice, Business Succession Planning, Group Health, Individual Accident & Cancer Insurance, Hospital Indemnity, Disability Insurance and Funding of Special Needs Trusts. All counseling services in the comfort of your home as a retired School Psychologist and Psychotherapist: Individual and Family Counseling, Bereavement Counseling, Elder Care Advice and Referrals, Psychological and Educational Evaluations, Advocate at CSE, CPSE, 504 and Impartial Hearings.

David Herbst 809 Carman Avenue Westbury, NY 11590 Prudential tel ��(516) 307-1563 Allyson Swidler fax ��(516) 750-5664 530 RXR Plaza, 5th Floor, West Tower email ��dave@budgetbrokerage.com Uniondale, NY 11556 web ��www.budgetbrokerage.com tel ��(516) 507-5093 Providing personal service that is customized to fax ��(516)357-8891 meet your personal needs email ��allyson.swidler@prudential.com SSH-18018 GLBT Expo.qxp_Layout 1 10/21/14 9:44 AM Pagewww.prudential.com 1 web ��

We Are Proud To Support The LIGLBT Expo

New 2015 Honda Accord EX-L SEDAN

704 W. Merrick Rd. Valley Stream SouthShoreHonda.com

516- 285-8036 8

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INVESTIGATIVE SERVICES

NON-PROFIT

Brass Private Investigations LLC

193 E. Main Street Babylon, NY 11702 tel ��(631) 482-9960 fax ��(631) 482-9959 email ��jbrass@brasspi.com web ��www.brasspi.com Investigations, Process Serving, Background Searches

Christopher Long, Ed.D. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road Old Bethpage, NY 11804 tel ��(516) 870-1648 email ��clong01@familyres.org web �� www.familyres.org

PFLAG Long Island

Mitch Levy, President PO Box 692 Jericho, NY 11753 tel ��(516) 938-8913 email �� info@pflagli.org web ��www.pflagli.org Parents and Families of Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender People

MEDIA

Long Island Pulse Magazine

Family Residences and Essential Enterprises Inc.

Nada Marjanovich 1 Terry St., Suite 1 Patchogue, NY 11772 tel ��(631) 289-4315 email ��nada@lipulse.com web �� www.lipulse.com dining - the arts - lifestyle - business Look for our ad on page 11

The Long Island Association for Aids Care Inc. (LIAAC)

Robert N. Nicoletti 60 Adams Avenue Hauppauge, NY 11788 tel ��(631) 385-2496 hotline ��(877) TO-LIAAC web �� www.liaac.org For HIV/AIDs Information, Referrals and Assistance Look for our ad on the next page

PHYSICIANS & HEALTH SERVICES

Family Wellness Center

Diana Clendaniel 120 Plant Avenue Hauppauge, NY 11788 tel ��(631) 273-1300 email �� DClendaniel@familyres.org web �� www.familyres.org

HIV Uninsured Care Programs

New York State Department of Health P.O. Box 2052, Empire Station Albany, NY 12220-0052 tel ��(800) 542-2437 tel ��(518) 459-2749 web ��www.health.ny.gov/diseases/aids/ general/.resources/adap Helps pay for medications, healthcare, and insurance premiums for HIV-ppositive New Yorkers with income below $50,765 (higher for families)

HRH Care

Carlos Ortiz 330 South Meeting House Lane Southampton, NY 11968 tel ��(631) 268-1008 fax ��(631) 259-0298 email �� cortiz@hrhcare.org web �� www.hrhcare.org Community Health

a unique philanthropic gift shop where edgy meets chic & artsy meets affordable discover a treasure house filled with vintage, contemporary, americana & global products for people of all ages! one added twist: profits from our creative collections go to organizations that benefit individuals, communities & our world. six carlton avenue, port washington, ny 11050 516-944-9200, wit-and-whim.com, facebook.com/witandwhimPW VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

IslandCare Pharmacy

John F. Civitello, RN - Principal 1860 Walt Whitman Road, Suite 700 Melville, NY 11747 tel ��(516) 822-6300 email ��johnc@islandcarerx.com web ��www.islandcarerx.com HIV/HCV/Oncology, Specialty Pharmacy Look for our ad on this page

Long Island IVF

8 Corporate Center Drive, Suite 101 Melville, NY 11747 tel ��(631) 752-0606 fax ��(631) 752-0623 email �� lmontello@liivf.com web �� www.longislandivf.com “Building families every day” Look for our ad on page 12

Reproductive Specialists of NY

200 Old Country Road, Suite 350 Mineola, NY 11501 tel ��(516) 739-2100 fax ��(516) 873-8068 email ��jbarocas@rsofny.com web �� www.rsofny.com Proudly building families in a warm, compassionate environment

REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE

Paramount Land

Daniel Gale Sotheby’s International Realty

Edie Esposito, Associate Real Estate Broker 364 Plandome Road Manhasset, NY 11030 tel ��(516) 946-8082 fax ��(516) 627-7045 email �� edieesposito@danielgale.com web �� www.edieesposito.com Helping Sellers & Buyers - Queens, Long Island “North & South Shores”

Douglas Elliman Real Estate

Marie Skarren, Licensed Sales Associate 2300 Merrick Road Merrick, NY 11566 tel ��(516) 322-7135 email ��MSkarren@elliman.com web ��www.elliman.com/real-estate-agent/ marie-skarren/9153

FCU Holdings

Frank C. Ullman 44 South Bayles Avenue, Suite 210 Port Washington, NY 11050 tel ��(516) 250-6804 email �� fullman@fcuholdings.com web �� www.fcuholdings.com Look for our ad on this page

Look for our ad on page 15

Jeffrey N. Zipser, Esq. 584 Main Street Islip, NY 11751 tel ��(631) 224-1345 email ��jzipser@paramountland.com web ��www.paramountland.com For all your residential and commercial real estate title needs throughout New York State

RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS Temple Tikvah

Rabbi Randy Sheinberg 3315 Hillside Avenue New Hyde Park, NY 11040 tel ��(516) 746-1120 fax ��(516) 746-7408 email �� office@templetikvah.com web �� www.templetikvah.com A liberal reform temple that welcomes the GLBT community

TECHNOLOGY Network Solutions & Technology

Diana Santariello 312 Larkfield Road East Northport, NY 11731 tel ��(877) 678-8080 fax ��(631) 368-1164 email �� dsantariello@nst-li.com web ��www.nst-li.com Technology Services

HOLDINGS

mowww.nardyhonda.com cwww.nardyhonda.com .adnohydran.www

FRANK C. ULLMAN FCU HOLDINGS, LLC 44 S. BAYLES AVENUE, SUITE 210 PORT WASHINGTON, NY 11050 T 516.250.6804 E FULLMAN@FCUHOLDINGS.COM W FCUHOLDINGS.COM

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ART is my life. Long Island is my place. Long Island Pulse is my magazine. —Artist Jerelyn Hanrahan

Long Island Pulse Proudly Supports Long Island GLBT Services Net work

Sophisticated, successful professionals who live, work and play in the Hamptons, Gold Coast and boutique communities of Long Island subscribe to Long Island Pulse Magazine to catch up with the who’s who and find out where to go and what to do. Join this influential readership. Subscribe today at lipulse.com/subscribe.

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631.289.4315 | lipulse.com

THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

TIMTEK Repairs

Tim Rismiller 764 Deer Park Avenue North Babylon, NY 11703 tel ��(631) 455-2146 web ��www.timtekrepairs.com Computer, Cell Phone, Flat Screen, Game Console

THERAPISTS & COUNSELORS COPAY, Inc.

Ruth Trujillo-Pertew 21 North Station Plaza Great Neck, NY 11021 tel ��(516) 466-2509 fax ��(516) 482-3146 email ��copayincgn@aol.com web ��www.copayofgreatneck.org Therapy for substance/alcohol abuse, mental health, relationship issues

Dennis Damato Psychotherapy

Dennis Damato, M.ED, LCSW 221 Woodycrest Drive Holtsville, NY 11742-1714 tel ��(631) 758-0418 fax ��(631) 654-4726 email ��dentomato@gmail.com Treating adults, children, teens, families, and couples

Doris Starr, LCSW

500 Old Country Road, Suite 300 Garden City, NY 11530 tel ��(516) 484-3326 email �� DorisStarrLCSW@optimum.net Specialist in Therapy for GLBT People, Couples and Families

Joan Rubinstein, M.D.

60 North Country Road, Suite 205 Port Jefferson, NY 11777 tel ��(631) 331-0974 email ��drjoanr@verizon.net General psychiatry for adults and adolecents: Evaluations, medications and psychotherapy

John Bottone, LMHC

535 Broad Hollow Road, Suite A-14 Melville, NY 11747 tel ��(631) 680-3609 email �� jbottone2@gmail.com Psychotherapy and Counseling for GLBT Individuals and Couples. Trained in Gestalt Therapy and Internal Family Systems Therapy

North Shore Psychotherapy & Wellness

Nicole Borzelleca, MHC, M.S. 28 Jones Street Setauket, NY 11733 tel ��(631) 505-3769 email �� Nicole.Borzelleca@gmail.com LGBT Counseling for individuals, families, couples, groups; gender concerns specialist

Theresa Aquilina, LCSW

22-30 Railroad Avenue, Suite 2 Sayville, NY 11782 tel ��(516) 642-3381 fax ��(631) 256-5899 email ��doctee@optonline.net Psychotherapist

Veronica Harkins, LCSW

360 Ira Place Bayport, NY 11705 tel ��(631) 332-1288 email ��vharkins1@optonline.net Psychotherapist Look for our ad on this page

TOLERANCE EDUCATION Holocaust Memorial & Tolerance Center

Craig Diamond 100 Crescent Beach Road Glen Cove, NY 11542 tel ��(516) 571-8040 fax ��(516) 571-8041 email ��info@holocaust-nassau.org web �� www.holocaust-nassau.org Tolerance Workshops – Holocaust Memorial – Education

We Know What It Means to Have a Family. We Help Build Them Every Day. At Long Island IVF, we are committed to helping all people become parents, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status. When you are ready to start, Long Island IVF is here to help. Please contact us to learn more.

Melville Phone 631-752-0606

Brooklyn Phone 718-375-6400

Plainview Phone 516-939-2229

East Patchogue Phone 631-687-2229

West Islip Phone 631-661-5437

Building Families Every Day

Lake Success Phone 516-358-6363

Stony Brook Phone 631-331-7575

www.longislandivf.com

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THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

WEDDING SERVICES

Cantor Arlene Zucker

tel �� (516) 381-8658 email ��aszucker@aol.com email �� themarryingcantr@aol.com United In Harmony

DJS Unlimited

Allegria Hotel

Peter Pizarro 80 West Broadway Long Beach, NY 11561 tel �� (516) 992-3765 fax �� (516) 992-3783 email. . . . . . ppizarro@allegriahotel.com web �� www.allegriahotel.com Long Island's Only Luxury Oceanfront Hotel

Look for our ad on the next page

Pierre or Carl 400 Crossways Park Drive Woodbury, NY 11797 tel �� (516) 496-9616 fax �� (516) 496-9620 email �� carl@djsunlimited.com web �� www.djsunlimited.com The Ultimate Party Experience

DTAC Productions

DJ Domenica Islip, NY tel �� (602) 828-3374 email. . . . . domenica@djdomenica.com web �� www.djdomenica.com Spinning a global mix of music

Artisan Photography & Media Group

Chuck Gosline, Photographer 141 S. Wellwood Avenue Lindenhurst, NY 11757 tel �� (516) 938-4430 email. . . . info@artisanphotogroup.com web. . . . . www.artisanphotogroup.com Photography and video services, all occasions, personal and corporate Look for our ad on the next page

THE LONG ISLAND GLBT NETWORK THANKS ALL OF ITS PARTNERS IN PRIDE MEMBERS.

Rev. Kenneth Corbin

Hotel Indigo

Tiffany Tuzzolo 1830 West Main Street, Route 25 Riverhead, NY 11901 tel �� (631) 369-2200 fax �� (631) 369-1202 email �� stay@indigoeastend.com email. . . . wedding@indigoeastend.com web �� www.indigoeastend.com Our boutique hotel offers a chic, contemporary and cosmopolitan setting for your private event or escape to Long Island’s famous East End.

Insignia

Keri D’Arpa 610 Smithtown Bypass Smithtown, NY 11787 tel �� (631) 656-8100 fax �� (631) 656-8105 email. . . banquet@insigniasteakhouse.com web. . . . . www.insigniasteakhouse.com Tired of the same style wedding? Introducing Insignia where the Hamptons meet Manhattan. Unique, Fine Dining, Trend Setting, Personal...Visit our website to view our digital wedding brochure. Proudly serving the GLBT Community. Schedule your own personal experience today!

Catholic Diocese of One Spirit Wedding Officiant tel �� (631) 416-4308 email �� kcorb421@gmail.com Catholic Wedding Officiant Available for Ceremonies - All Faiths Welcome

Ultimate Class Limousine Worldwide

Matt Silver, President 12B Commercial Street Hicksville, NY 11801 tel �� (800) 932-4432 email. . . . matt@ultimateclasslimo.com web. . . . . . www.ultimateclasslimo.com Affordable elegance and unrivaled prompt courteous service for all occasions

Venue on Seven at Courtyard by Marriott Long Island MacArthur Airport Hotel

5000 Express Drive South Ronkonkoma, NY 11779 tel �� (631) 612-5000 fax �� (631) 612-5007 email. . . . deborah.miller@marriott.com web �� www.venueonseven.com Venue on Seven proudly serving the LGBT Community on Long Island - The perfect venue for any celebration - weddings, anniversaries, corporate events, reunions, celebrations and more...

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WE DO

YOUR WEDDING WITH STYLE

80 West Broadway | Long Beach NY 1561 www.allegriahotel.com | 516.992.3765 | VIEW THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY ONLINE AT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

Since 1993, The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Network has been a lifeline to Nassau and Suffolk Countiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; GLBT population, providing education, advocacy, and social support services to our members and their families. Network Circle members provide support for the organizations of The Long Island GLBT Network to serve more than 5,000 GLBT annually and operate Long Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s three GLBT community centers.

Your Membership changes lives. Throughout the year we provide a place for people of all ages to call home when they might not have a supportive family to turn to. Our much-needed educational programming, support services, inclusive social events, and welcoming community centers are some of the main ingredients to providing that safe, comfortable place many people do not find at home.

Your support is vital to our success.

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CORPORATE PARTNERS The Networkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Corporate Partners are businesses that make a year-long commitment to support The Network with an annual contribution. Corporate Partners have the opportunity to develop strategic partnerships with The Network, which include hosting and sponsoring special events, developing affinity programs, establishing collaborations, and overall aligning their brands with ours. Interested in having your business or organization become a Corporate Partner? Contact the Development Department at 516.323.0011 or e-mail development@liglbtnetwork.org.

Allegria Hotel

E A S T

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Your Direct Source For Great Events

MEDIA PARTNERS makes you feel good

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THE 2014-2015 LONG ISLAND GLBT BUSINESS DIRECTORY

PARTNERS IN PRIDE

BUSINESS PROGRAM Partners in Pride is the business membership program of The Long Island GLBT Services Network that connects GLBT-welcoming businesses with GLBT consumers, and helps GLBT-businesses network.

Basic Membership $325 Long Island GLBT Business Directory PRINT • Business listing with company name, tagline, contact name, address, phone, e-mail address, and web site address (no logo placement) Long Island GLBT Business Directory ONLINE • Business listing with company name, tagline, contact name, address, phone, and e-mail address (no logo placement) Events • Complimentary admission to business-tobusiness networking events Other Marketing • New and returning members receive a welcome mention in one Partners in Pride e-blast • 20% discount on ads in Living Out, The Network’s monthly publication • Partners in Pride business member window decal • Up to 25% discount on exhibit space for LI GLBT Expo

ADD-ONS Add to your Basic Membership with: • Web link to your web site added to your online business directory listing – $75

A major part of a Partners in Pride membership is inclusion in the Long Island GLBT Business Directory, the only directory of its kind, marketing directly to 15,000 households and 75,000 unique web site visitors.

Premium Membership $1,250 Long Island GLBT Business Directory PRINT • Business listing with company name, tagline, contact name, address, phone, e-mail address, and web site address • Highlighted featured business listing with logo placement added to your listing • Business card ad Long Island GLBT Business Directory ONLINE • Business listing with company name, tagline, contact name, address, phone, e-mail address, and web site address with web link to your web site • Logo with web link to your web site Events • Complimentary admission to business-tobusiness networking events Other Marketing • New and returning members receive a welcome mention in one Partners in Pride e-blast • 20% discount on ads in Living Out, The Network’s monthly publication • Partners in Pride business member window decal • Up to 25% discount on exhibit space for LI GLBT Expo

ADD-ONS Add to your Premium Membership with: AD SPACE IN DIRECTORY

AD SPACE IN DIRECTORY • Business card ad – $200

• Half-page ad – $1,000

• Quarter-page ad – $500

• Full-page ad – $2,000

• Upgrade to Quarter-page ad – $300 • Upgrade to Half-page ad – $800 • Upgrade to Full-page ad – $1,200

To learn more:

Contact the Development Department 516.323.0011 | development@liglbtnetwork.org

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THE LONG ISLAND GLBT SERVICES NETWORK The Long Island GLBT Services Network is an association of non-profit organizations serving Long Island’s GLBT community throughout the lifespan. Together, each organization works to end homophobia and transphobia on Long Island, to provide a home and safe space for the GLBT community, and to advocate for equality. The Network and its organizations operate Long Island’s only three GLBT community centers on Long Island in Woodbury, Bay Shore, and Sag Harbor.

Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) provides a safe space for GLBT youth, and empowers GLBT and straight-ally youth to create change in their schools and communities. Safe Schools Initiative // Friday night OUTlet // HIV Prevention // The Aleph Project // Leadership Development // Community Education // HELP Line // Pride Empowerment Project // LI Gay PTSA

The Long Island GLBT Community Center (The Center) builds community for GLBT adults and families through social, cultural, and health programming. CenterSpace // CARE Support Services // Anti-Violence Project - Long Island (AVPLI) // Transgender Services // M4Mhealth Program // Long Island Pride

Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders - Long Island (SAGE-LI) provides GLBT seniors ages 50+ with social support and health programming. Monday Mingle // Health & Wellness Programs // Senior Focus Discussion Group // Senior Advisory Board // Benefits and Entitlements Counseling

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR WORK: VISIT WWW.LIGLBTNETWORK.ORG

SUPPORT THE LONG ISLAND GLBT SERVICES NETWORK! Join The Long Island GLBT Services Network today as a Network Circle Member! Your membership supports the lifechanging work of: • Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) — services for GLBT youth ages 13-21 • The Long Island GLBT Community Center — services for GLBT adults and families and operating Long Island’s only three GLBT community centers • Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders — services for GLBT elder adults, age 50+ Join with a minimum of a onetime annual membership of $35, or become a Sustaining Member with a monthly donation of just $20 using your credit or debit card!

YES! I WANT TO SUPPORT THE WORK OF THE NETWORK! Network Circle Membership $35

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Please send this completed form with payment to: The Long Island GLBT Services Network, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore, NY 11706

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out and about Book review

by christopher boire

The Fallen angels of karnataka “The Fallen Angels of Karnataka” by Hans M. Hirschi tells the story of Haakon, a Norwegian man yearning to travel. His efforts to do so lead to the discovery of his homosexuality, meeting his first love, his HIV infection, and the death of that first love by AIDS. Still in mourning, a wealthy British man offers to hire Haakon as his secretary on an all-expenses paid trip around the world – a dream come true. But, as Haakon learns, there is more to this trip than his employer is letting on. Haakon’s wonder to see the world is evident throughout the book, laced with descriptions of his visits to locations like London, Paris, and Cairo, among other international cities. Rich detail is provided for some of the most historic

author interview

and romantic sites Haakon goes to, and a rotating cast of minor characters provide a more in-depth look at each locale. It’s a unique read for someone interested in travel-themed books. One of my major concerns with the story is that the action moving it forward relies on Haakon’s naiveté, which becomes hard to believe after a point. As the book spans over 20 years of his life, the lead character almost refuses to notice the signs of what’s going on around him, from his romantic encounters to the nuances of his trip. Readers may need to suspend their disbelief to avoid getting pulled out of the action. Also, those expecting a sprawling look at Haakon’s travels across the world

will be in for a surprise. His early travels leading up to his trip takes up far more of the book than I expected. Plus, the book jumps over the main portion of his expedition. This wouldn’t be much of a concern, if not for the fact that it is advertised as the main conflict of the story. It also makes it hard to focus on the early build-up, when we know what’s coming.

Readers are advised that the core content of the book contains references and depictions of child trafficking, slavery, and sexual abuse. Towards the end of the book, these issues are addressed in full on a more local level, going into the various operations related to perpetrating and preventing these atrocious crimes. This is definitely not a book for younger readers, and while the warning does impart some spoilers about the book, it is necessary so that older readers can prepare themselves before deciding to pick it up. In all, not a personal favorite, but a good read nonetheless. Haakon provides a sympathetic character to follow, and the darker parts of the story are handled delicately. If you feel you can handle the topic, give it a look.

by Alexis Capitini

Blind truth: An interview with Belo Cipriani Belo Miguel Cipriani, author of Blind: A Memoir and Midday Dreams, took the time to chat with Living Out about his recently published memoir. The book chronicles the time leading up to, and after, an assault which left him without his vision. His story is touching and empowering and we got to see more of that during the interview. What was the most difficult part of writing a book? Which chapter was the hardest to write? The hardest part to write about was the part with the assault because I had to put myself back at the event not just once but multiple times as I edited the story. It took months to write down and edit the scene of the assault and part of it was because it was hard to relive that event over and over. What sort of gay experiences did you have prior to meeting Jesus, Carlos and Rodrigo? Why were they so important to your growth and change as a young gay man? I think that all of what was happening before the Internet and I came out

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

before the average age. It was hard to find any other teenager who was looking for someone like me. You end Chapter 22 with the powerful quote, “Maybe all blind people have an ‘S’ on our chests that we simply can’t see.” Could you elaborate more on this? I think it goes back to the fact that blindness is really tough and back then there was not a lot of technology available. There is a more conscious society now and I wanted to remind blind people that there is good in their life and that its there but we may not always see it.

think being blind means you have a different outlook on life. Which was harder to write, your memoir or Midday Dreams? All of them. Relating the memoir was challenging not only physically but also emotionally. What was your inspiration for writing Midday Dreams? I met a woman who was from there and she could tell by the way I spoke Portuguese that I was not from there. She told me she had a brother who 20 years ago left there. I never saw this woman again and years later her moving story came to mind and I decided to write a story along similar lines.

Has writing your memoir added to your acceptance of losing your sight and living as a gay blind man? The day my book was published and I held it my hand was the day I forgave my attackers. I was able to put it in a drawer in my past and it was very monumental.

What projects do you see yourself working on in the future? A lot of books, a follow up to Blind and working on fiction novels. I like to keep myself writing and sometimes I get stuck and switch to another project.

What does being blind mean to you? Do you think of yourself as disabled? You know, sometimes I feel empowered but there are moments of frustration. I

Who is your favorite author? My favorite author is Amy Tan. It meant the world to me that she endorsed Blind. That was a big part of my career as a young writer.

What advice do you have for those who read your book who may have a disability themselves? I think that you get so caught up in what you cannot do that you don’t recognize what you can do. And in those moments of frustration you can realize what it is that you can do and push forward. October is National Disability Awareness Month and I want to encourage people that when they think about a disability to not make assumptions or make up rules of how things should happen and take time to do research.

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out and about screen savor

by gregg shapiro

That Old Time Religion .

FOR COMPLETE DETAILS, VISIT AUPAC.ADELPHI.EDU.

BLUE JUPITER Blue Jupiter’s energetic blend of pop lead vocals, jazzy a cappella harmony and funky beatbox has garnered standing ovations in more than 40 states and around the world. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2014 • 7:30 P.M. WESTERMANN STAGE, CONCERT HALL TICKETS: $35/$30

BASETRACK LIVE Produced by En Garde Arts, Basetrack Live draws on the power of individual stories to examine the collective experience of those who have served in America’s longest war. Adapted from the wildly popular Facebook page and website of photographs and videos taken in Afghanistan by a group of photojournalists led by Teru Kuwayama, Basetrack Live is a multidisciplinary work at the intersection of theatre, music, new media, journalism and technology. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20 • 7:30 P.M. WESTERMANN STAGE, CONCERT HALL • $35/$30

TRIO SOLISTI Maria Bachmann, violin • Alexis Pia Gerlach, cello Adam Neiman, piano SCHUBERT Sonatensatz in B flat major, D. 28 RACHMANINOFF Trio No. 2, Op. 9 ("Elegiac") BRAHMS Trio No. 1 in B major, Op. 8 SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22 • 8:00 P.M. WESTERMANN STAGE, CONCERT HALL • TICKETS: $35/$30

FALL DANCE ADELPHI: JIŘÍ KYLIÁN'S BELLA FIGURA Department of Dance students will present the iconic work of world-renowned choreographer Jiří Kylián. In addition to Kylián’s work, the program also includes new and restaged works by Adelphi faculty, including a new work, relating to the stress of constant armed conflict in the modern era, choreographed by Orion Duckstein and presented as part of Adelphi University’s yearlong look at the Changing Nature of War and Peace. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3–SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7 • $20

LAURA BENANTI: IN CONSTANT SEARCH OF THE RIGHT KIND OF ATTENTION SUNDAY, MARCH 8, 2015 • 3:00 P.M.

PAUL TAYLOR DANCE COMPANY FRIDAY, MAY 8, 2015 • 7:30 P.M.

ROSANNE CASH: THE RIVER AND THE THREAD IN CONCERT

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FOR DETAILS ABOUT OUR EXCITING 2014–2015 SEASON AND A COMPLETE LISTING OF ALL OUR EVENTS, VISIT AUPAC.ADELPHI.EDU.

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“A film of the theatrical experience,” Southern Baptist Sissies (Breaking Glass Pictures) might feel like a bit of a letdown after the Sordid Lives movie and subsequent TV series. But the strength of Del Shores’ writing and the performances of the talented cast go a long way in convincing the viewer to overlook the limitations of the stagey presentation. Honoring the piece’s theatrical roots, Southern Baptist Sissies is presented in two acts. In the first, amidst the fire and brimstone pews of the Calvary Baptist Church in Dallas, we meet Mark (Emerson Collins), who functions as the narrator. Fellow sissies at the church include his best friend Andrew (Matthew Scott Montgomery), his crush TJ (Luke StratteMcClure) and Benny (Willam Belli, of RuPaul’s Drag Race renown), described as “the biggest sissy of all.” According to Mark, it is in this church that they “learned to hate themselves.” Across the stage, in a gay bar setting, Peanut aka Preston (the inimitable Leslie Jordan) and Annette Odette (Dale Dickey), who has had a series of unfortunate events, act as an unofficial Greek chorus, either commenting on the action or relating their own sordid tales. Peanut and Annette Odette’s scenes are a potent blend of laugh out loud comedy and tearjerking tragedy, like those involving the sissies, which is something that speaks to Shores’ flair for dialogue.

Southern Baptist Sissies provides the details of the young sissies’ formative years as well as glimpses of them as adults (at least those who survived). Benny, who was the most at ease with his sexuality, is now a drag performer known as Iona Traylor. TJ, however, the most devout of the bunch, became a fanatical preacher in adulthood. That doesn’t erase his intimate relationship with Mark, nor Mark’s feelings for him. But in the dramatic conclusion to the first act, it becomes clear that while Mark is ready to embrace who he is, TJ (who The documentary Corpus Christi: Playing With Redemption (Breaking Glass Pictures) follows a theater company’s production of the Terrence McNally play Corpus Christi, in which the Passion story is retold depicting Jesus Christ as a gay man in 1950s Texas. Described as “a life-changing journey” for the cast and director, the film focuses on the period between 2006 and 2011, when the play was produced in a number of US cities, as well as in Ireland, Scotland and Mexico. As you might expect, they were met with their share of resistance, usually represented by unemployed and unbathed religious zealots who have plenty of time on their hands to protest theatrical productions they haven’t actually seen.

obviously has strong feelings for Mark) can’t discard his faith. The second act also incorporates both comedic and dramatic situations. Gay realization comes to Andrew who admits to masturbating to pictures of N*Sync, but he struggles with being gay. When his mother discovers Andrew’s personal gay stash, things go rapidly downhill and the first tragedy occurs. Benny who embraced his identity early at bible camp, keeps in the loop with Mark through Mark’s column in a gay publication. Meanwhile, TJ, who desperately tried to wash away his attraction to men, and Mark do get to have a final confrontation. And, in spite of having had a crush on Jesus and “allowing” the Baptists to fuck him up, Mark is a survivor, taking the God is love message to heart and waking up daily with hope. Strongly recommended, Southern Baptist Sissies will make you cry (Annette Odette’s confession is one example) and laugh so hard that you’ll cry (practically anything Peanut says). DVD special features include a pair of music videos, cast interviews and a behind the scenes featurette. Featuring interviews with McNally, McNally’s lawyer husband Tom Kirdahy, Norman Lear, Larry Kramer, as well as some religious leaders and others. A majority of the interviews are conducted with the cast and director Nic Arnzen (who co-directed the doc along with actor James Brandon, who also plays Joshua/Jesus in the play). Therein lies the problem; actors talking about acting can be a risky and distracting proposition. The inclusion of the cast’s personal stories and their own experiences with religion are only moderately more interesting. The end result, intentional or not, is that Corpus Christi: Playing With Redemption will probably only fuel fans of the play’s desire to see a full-length dramatic film adaptation of McNally’s controversial creation. DVD special features include interviews, backstage footage, play performance scenes, news footage, photo gallery and more.

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be scene National Coming Out Day Friday, October 10th over 65,000 students and educators from 61 schools across long island participated in this years national coming out day school awareness campaign. the goal of annual campaign run by long island gay and lesbian youth (LIGALY) is to create safer schools for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) students. It empowers GLBT and straight-ally youth to stand up against harassment and bullying of GLBT youth. those who participated handed out rainbow ribbons and ally stickers in addition to other activities throughout the day.

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living healthy parenting

by Chris mcnamee

One Child’s View of Transgenderism

She never liked dresses those heels were too much she’d always prefer those sweatpants that’d bunch. Her sneakers were dirty same ones every day she was born in the wrong body no one knows she feels this way. Hangs out with the guys no friends that were girls she never wanted to be like that all giggles and twirls. Locked in the bathroom cut off all her hair she was born as a female but she doesn’t care. Her mother just yells father says she’s a freak she can’t take it now she has reached her peak. She sits down and cries throwing one of brother’s toys “You don’t understand! I’m a boy! I’m a boy!” d.m.

about the author: Chris mcnamee has a b.S. in Family Services/ Child Studies, a M.A. in Intersex Conditions and Gender Identity Disorders in Children and Adolescents and is the Former owner/operator of Kid ‘n Kaboodle Child Care as well as the Former Coordinator for Long Island Family Connections, Gay Parents Support Network.

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When I first read this poem several months ago, I was struck by three things: first, immense pride in my niece, Daniella McNamee, age 12, who wrote the poem and so graciously allowed me to share it with you here. Next, by the profound sadness conveyed in its verses, a sadness often cited by trans children who suffer everyday as they struggle to live authentic lives in the gender of their birth; and last, by the level of compassion so evident in the writing, which I know comes so naturally to Danni, who is, to my knowledge, not transgender, but rather, kind, loving and accepting of all people for what and who they are.

I spent twelve years as a day care operator. As a licensed provider, one of the regulations I was required to follow had to do with diversity and inclusion. We were mandated to have multi-ethnic dolls available to the children, to have all races included in posters and other classroom décor, and to include disability as a part of our diversity curriculum. We were also required to ensure that boys and girls had equal access to toys and games that were traditionally seen as gender specific, making sure, for example, that boys were given the opportunity to play with dolls or household/cooking toys and girls could play with cars and tools if they so desired.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. There is no need for me to lay out statistics here about the suicide rates for transgender youth, the frequency of attacks by bashers on gender-different individuals, or the continued existence of discriminatory laws that fail to protect the basic rights of transgender people. As readers of a GLBT publication, you are already undoubtedly aware of such things and eager to find new ways to combat them. So, as we approach the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, a solemn day that reminds us that transgender people are so often the victims of discrimination, bullying, harassment, and violence, let’s think for a moment about how to tap into our children’s natural tendency toward inclusion and use it to make not merely tolerance, but full acceptance of others’ differences the rule rather than the exception. Perhaps we could begin by including gender diversity along with gender equality as early as the preschool years.

When children begin receiving messages of equality and inclusion at a young age, these concepts become so ingrained in their personalities that there is no room for bias and bigotry to gain a foothold should the child encounter such attitudes at home or elsewhere. It would be so easy to add basic transgender-affirming language to the discussions we have with children regarding diversity, acceptance and fairness. A comment such as “… and sometimes girls feel that they really should be boys, and boys feel like they are actually girls inside” added to the standard “Girls can grow up to be construction workers if that’s what they like to do, and boys can become stay-athome dads if they want to” can be just the affirmation that transgender children and their peers need to hear in order to feel good about themselves and their friends. Imagine the impact something so simple could have!

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living healthy

wellness

by jennifer nyx

EMBRACE YOUR PERFECT UNIQUE-NESS

We are all obviously different, and come in different shapes, sizes and colors. Whether we choose to share our uniqueness with the world or keep it to ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves more and more each day. Your perfect uniqueness – you are all you have! We have to wake up with ourselves every day, live with ourselves every day. Doesn’t it make sense to find ways to be more accepting of your perfect uniqueness! I am certainly not as tall as I want to be as I am 4’ 11”, I am much curvier than the average person – but I have accepted and embraced my curves and my petiteness. My nose is not as small as I want it to be, my hair is not as manageable as I want it to be, but I have come to an understanding that there are things about me that I really cannot change.

“If you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else!” -RuPaul

The things I love about me most have nothing to do with my appearance. It has to do with who I am as a person – my values, my morals, my strength, my undying love for my wife, my children and my family. If you are not able to accept or love your perfect self, you are setting yourself up for a dose of stress that may send you unnecessarily to the food pantry, refrigerator or into a never ending saga of why me?

What makes you so unique? What do you secretly love about yourself? I am sure you have heard compliments from others as to what they admire about you and you may have heard some negative things as well. Make a list of all the nice things people have mentioned to you and a list of negative things that people have said about you. Really examine this list. Do you feel there is a need for improvement? Are others correct or incorrect about what they have expressed to you? You need to focus on your inner you. Start to make any necessary changes that you feel you need to improve.

to improve. You may have heard the expression from RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else!” It is a completely valid statement! I also know that if you don’t love or care enough about yourself, how will you ever allow somebody to love you the way you feel you need to be loved. Aren’t you worthy of all the good that life has to offer? Embrace your perfect uniqueness. Find what is unique about you and start loving yourself! You deserve it!

Change is not an overnight process. It took me many years to make changes in my life to be able to move in a positive direction, but I was determined. I felt I owed it to myself and I am always trying

About the author: Jennifer Nyx is a Holistic Health Coach and Personal Trainer dedicated to support her clients with their health goals and empower them to make lasting changes in their behavior and lifestyle.

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living smart

Travel

by Manny velásquez-paredes

Denver: The Mile High City How does 300 days of sunshine and breathtaking panoramic mountain views with over 200 named peaks that can easily soar up to 13,000 feet sound? How about a young, vibrant cultural environment with awardwinning dining? Denver provides all of these commodities and more year-round, it is a sparkly clean version of New York City where high rise buildings and mountains paint the horizon.

discriminatory policies, which included gays and lesbians. OutTraveler voted Denver one of its Top Up-and-Coming Destinations and Denver PrideFest is recognized as one of the top 10 Pride events in the country. Since 1982 the annual Colorado Gay Rodeo has brought in cowboys from around the world, in fact Denver is hosting the 30th annual convention of the International Gay Rodeo Association on November 13th – 16th.

or enjoy some local culture at the Denver Art Museum or the Denver Center for Performing Arts. Each room is equipped with the essentials, plus free high-speed internet access and complimentary Hampton’s free hot breakfast, which is anything but the typical “continental breakfast.” The Hampton’s breakfast includes omelets, waffles, cereals, yogurts, pastries,

If you plan to participate in the Gay Rodeo, or visit Denver for business or pleasure, the Hampton Inn & Suites Denver DowntownConvention Center is a home away from home in a very vibrant town, it’s just a half block from the Colorado Convention Center and walking distance of some of the best local attractions.

Denver is known as The Mile High City, and this has nothing to do with the fact that it was the first major US city to legalize marijuana. The nickname “Mile High City” is due to its elevation, which is exactly one mile above sea level, making it one of the highest major cities in the United States. According to Denverites, because of its altitude the golf balls travel 10% farther and the alcoholic beverages have a bigger kick, but it is also a good idea to drink lots of water in order to avoid dehydration. Denver is a GLBT and GLBT-family friendly city. In 1990, Denver became one of the first municipalities in the US to adopt anti-

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The Hampton Inn is located within walking distance to many of the city’s landmarks and tourist attractions, including many of Tripadvisor’s Top 20 Things To Do in Denver, such as the famous 16th Street Mall, catch the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field or the Denver Nuggets at Pepsi Center,

fruits and different kinds of juices, coffees and teas. If you find yourself running late or eager to get your day started, then simply grab one of the free “Hampton On the Run Breakfast Bags™.” The 24-hour business center keeps you on top of work, while the fitness center, indoor pool and hot tub keep you in top shape. This newly-built hotel puts you in the middle of the Mile High City action and is ideal for singles, couples, threesomes, families or all of the above.

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living smart

finance

avoiding Bait & Switch Scams With the holiday’s quickly approaching, we will all be out there trying to find a gift for our friends and family. However, it’s important to stay focused and don’t make any rash decisions. Companies have gotten very good at convincing you to buy their products. While most of these appeals are perfectly within their rights, there are a few deceptive practices that can actually be illegal. Bait and switch is one of these.

What is it?

How do I counteract it?

How do I report it?

Bait and switch is the practice of advertising a product or service at a low price to entice you into the store, only to claim that the original sale item is no longer available. You are then pressured to buy a higherpriced product instead of the one you originally came in for.

In short, have a plan and stick to it! For larger purchases, it helps to have a price ceiling. If, for instance, you want to buy a new TV, there are dozens of choices with varying price tags. If you try to make your decision “in the heat of the moment” you’re much more likely to make a choice that is counterproductive to your budget.

If you feel a company is engaging in deceptive advertising practices, file a report with the Federal Trade Commission. Additionally, it’s a good idea to contact the Better Business Bureau to warn others of this potential scam.

What’s an example? While browsing ads for a new vehicle to replace your current vehicle, you see a listing for a dealership selling your dream car in new condition at an extremely attractive price. Excited about the possibility of getting a great deal, you manage to drive the 25 miles to the dealership. Once there, you are told that the ad was actually a mistake, but the salesperson does have an even nicer car for only $5,000 more.

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Don’t be afraid to walk away. There are very few things you need to buy IMMEDIATELY. If what you wanted isn’t available – whether because of a company’s deception or for genuine reasons – head back home and reorganize yourself.

This type of scam is not for just cars, but can be used for just about any product. When you’re in a store or even if you’re buying online, take the time to slow down and analyze your options. This way, you decrease the chances of making a bad decision and help you save money in the long term.

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Socialization/Group Meetings FREE To Be provides an engaging space for GLBTQ individuals and friends, and we encourage all who are interested to come and join us. Meetings Include Inspirational guest speakers, workshops, open discussions, social events, and community involvement. Next Meeting Date: November 25, 2014 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637

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points of view op-ed

Remembering Two-Spirits This Thanksgiving As I prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, I am reminded of the autumnal harvest time’s spiritual significance. As a time of connectedness, I pause to acknowledge what I have to be thankful for. But I also reflect on the holiday as a time of remembrance – historical and familial. Historically, I am reminded that for many Native Americans, Thanksgiving is not a cause of celebration, but rather a National Day of Mourning, remembering the real significance of the first Thanksgiving in 1621 as a symbol of persecution and genocide of Native Americans and the long history of bloodshed with European settlers. “The Pilgrims had hardly explored the shores of Cape Cod for four days before they had robbed the graves of my ancestors and stolen their corn and beans,” Frank James (1923 - February 20, 2001), known to the Wampanoag people as Wampsutta, stated in his 1970 Thanksgiving “Day of Mourning “ speech. I am also reminded of my Two-Spirit Native American brothers and sisters who struggle with their families and tribes not approving of their sexual identities and gender expressions as many of us do with our families and faith communities.

presented with an entirely new set of taboos, which did not correspond to our own models and which focused on sexual behavior rather than the intricate roles Two-Spirit people played. As a result of this misrepresentation, our nations no longer accepted us as they once had.” Traditionally, Two-Spirits symbolized Native Americans’ acceptance and celebration of diverse gender expressions and sexual identities. They were revered as inherently sacred because they possessed and manifested both feminine and masculine spiritual qualities that were believed to bestow upon them a “universal knowledge” and special spiritual connectedness with the “Great Spirit.” Although the term was coined in the early 1990s, historically Two-Spirits depicted transgender Native Americans. Today, the term has come to also include lesbian, gay, bisexual, and intersex Native Americans.

“Yes, there’s internalized homophobia in every gay community, but as Native Americans we are taught not to like ourselves because we’re not white. In our communities, people don’t like us because we’re gay,” Gabriel Duncan, member of Bay Area American Indian Two Spirits (BAAITS), told the Pacific News Service. And consequently, many Two-Spirit Native Americans leave their reservations and isolated communities hoping to connect with the larger LGBTQ community in urban cites. However, due to racism and cultural insensitivity, many Two-Spirits feel less understood and more isolated than they did back home. But homophobia is not indigenous to Native American culture. Rather, it is one of the many devastating effects of colonization and Christian missionaries that today Two-Spirits may be respected within one tribe yet ostracized in another. “Homophobia was taught to us as a component of Western education and religion,” Navajo anthropologist Wesley Thomas has written. “We were

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The Pilgrims, who sought refuge here in America from religious persecution in their homeland, were right in their dogged pursuit of religious liberty. But their actual practice of religious liberty came at the expense of the civil and sexual rights of Native Americans. And the Pilgrims’ animus toward homosexuals not only impacted Native American culture, but it also shaped Puritan law and theology. Here in the New England states, the anti-sodomy rhetoric had punitive if not deadly consequences for a newly developing and sparsely populated area. The Massachusetts Bay Code of 1641 called for the death of heretics, witches and murderers, in addition

“Homophobia was taught to us as a component of Western education and religion” - Wesley Thomas, Navajo Anthropologist

As we get into the holiday spirit, let us remember the whole story of the arrival of the Pilgrims and other European settlers to the New World. On a trip home to New York City in May 2004, I went to the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture to view the UNESCO Slave Route Project, “Lest We Forget: the Triumph Over Slavery,” that marks the United Nations General Assembly’s resolution proclaiming 2004 “The International Year to Commemorate the Struggle Against Slavery and Its Abolition.” In highlighting that African Americans should not be shamed by slavery, but

to “sodomites,” stating that death would come swiftly to any “man lying with a man as with a woman.” And the renowned Puritan pastor and Harvard tutor, the Rev. Samuel Danforth in his 1674 “fire and brimstone” sermon preached to his congregation that the death sentence for sodomites had to be imposed because it was a biblical mandate. Because the Pilgrims’ fervor for religious liberty was devoid of an ethic of accountability, their actions did not set up the conditions requisite for moral liability and legal justice. Instead, the actions of the Pilgrims brought about the genocide of a people, a historical amnesia of the event, and an annual national celebration of Thanksgiving for their arrival. In 1990, President George H.W. Bush ironically – if not ignorantly – designated November as “National American Indian Heritage Month” to celebrate the history, art, and traditions of Native American people.

instead defiantly proud of our memory of it, I read the opening billboard to the exhibit that stated, “By institutionalizing memory, resisting the onset of oblivion, recalling the memory of tragedy that for long years remained hidden or unrecognized and by assigning it its proper place in the human conscience, we respond to our duty to remember.” It is in the spirit of our connected struggles against discrimination that we can all stand on a solid rock that rests on a multicultural foundation for a true and honest Thanksgiving. And in so doing, it helps us to remember, respect, mourn and give thanks to the struggles not only our LGBTQ foremothers and forefathers endured, but also the ongoing struggle our Native American Two-Spirit brothers and sisters face everyday – and particularly on Thanksgiving Day.

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points of view trans-missions

by gwendolyn Ann smith

For Better, For Worse

This has been a big year for Marriage Equality. The dominos have been falling with regularity, and a recent decision by the United States Supreme Court to let stand five appellate rulings cleared the way for marriage in five states, and cleared the way for marriage in several states within the Fourth, Seventh, and Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals.

doesn’t change. It wasn’t until this year that a separate appeals court in Texas noted that state laws have changed and now recognized gender reassignment as valid.

Indeed, marriage licenses for samesex couples are now – as of this writing – available in 30 states. Polls have shown, too, that the majority of people have approved of samesex marriage since 2011 or so. Fox News has challenged long-time anti-gay and anti-trans crusader Tony Perkins on his claims against samesex marriage. The GOP has removed same-sex marriage as a platform issue. It is quickly becoming a nonissue for much of the country.

So as a married transgender woman, I am pleased as punch to see marriage equality quickly becoming a done deal across so much of the United States. I’m sure that there will be pockets of resistance for a

In 1992, the marriage battle in the United States was in its infancy. It would be another year before the United States Supreme Court would rule that Hawaii’s state statute against same-sex marriage was unconstitutional unless the state could show a “compelling state interest” for such a ban. It would be four years before President Bill Clinton (below, right) would sign the Defense of Marriage Act into law.

That was the year I got married. It was not then a same-sex marriage, but it clearly is now. For those of us who are transgender, the issue of marriage is a bit muddier.

In 1999, one of the first cases involving a “same-sex” marriage went through the Texas Court of Appeals. That case, Littleton v. Prange, involved a transgender woman and her then-deceased male spouse, with the court invalidating her marriage. They decided then that sex is determined at birth and

time, attention, and money being given to the marriage issue, I might suggest some other issues that could use the attention of those looking to remain involved in the fight for LGBT rights.

41% of transgender people have attempted suicide. That’s nine times the National average. The numbers are better for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals, but still beat the national average. long time yet, but I think even the staunchest anti-marriage activists see the writing on the wall. There’s more to my feelings on the marriage issue, though, and this is where I might surprise people. You see, even with my own marriage being potentially in legal peril during the era of California’s Proposition 22 and Proposition 8, I question how we ended up with marriage as such a large part of the LGBT communities struggle for equality. With the victories of recent weeks on our minds, this really is a good time to access where we put our resources. With the potential of less

Of course, my list will be very transgender-focused. I’ll be clear: these are issues that affect those I care about. I am biased. That said, I think these are issues that should concern us all. What’s more, while resources can sometimes be limited, rights are not a finite resource. Just because one group has them does not mean another will not – no matter what some amongst the religious right might think. Transgender people are still being killed with alarming frequency. With Transgender Day of Remembrance just around the corner, I have to wonder how much even a fraction of the money raised to fight for marriage equality could be used to save transgender lives and prevent anti-transgender violence. It would also make sense to me to work on issues of racial equality and visibility within the community, and help people of color. The vast majority of anti-transgender murders are young African-American transgender women, and it would only make sense to me to put resources in the hands of those most in need of them.

Or perhaps it could be used to combat suicide. An American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law study showed that 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide. That’s nine times the National average. The numbers are better for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals, but still beat the national average. It is hard to say, “until death do us part” when we’re still dying so often. I should note too that 69% of transgender people who are homeless attempt suicide. The money spent fighting the marriage battle could do a lot to address issues with homelessness in both the transgender and larger LGBT community. With the marriage battle winding down – as it seems to be – perhaps we can see our organizations fighting these and other battles. Bisexuals, too, are often overlooked in the larger community. Of course, just because it is winding down doesn’t mean it is over. There are still 20 more states to go, and some of them are going to be uphill battles, no doubt. There could still be a Supreme Court challenge in the future. Until it’s finally decided across the whole nation, it will still be an issue. Still, this is a time when we can reflect and consider what is next. The battle for marriage equality is by no means the end of our struggles, no more than the overturning of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was our last battlefield. Heck, transgender people cannot serve openly regardless of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. So this to me is a dialogue I think our community and its organizations need to have, now. We need to consider carefully what is next, and where we move now as we reach beyond same-sex marriage.

Gwen Smith wants it all, and wants it now. You’ll find her at www.gwensmith.com 46

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points of view Seeing in the dark

by Belo Cipriani

Looking good is all about feeling good, and I was feeling great one San Francisco night when I ran into some childhood friends. My enthusiastic greetings were met with icy glances and cold words. Our meeting quickly went sour and they began to beat me. My face was their primary target, and each strike left me more hurt and confused. Bleeding and blinded, I was abandoned on the cement. I went through numerous surgeries and even temporarily gained my vision back, but blindness won the battle. I spent the first couple of months questioning everything I knew, including my looks. It’s a sad state of affairs that Hollywood never portrays the blind as being beautiful. Thus, I assumed I had become ugly as well. But with the help of therapy and the support of friends, I slowly began to build my confidence.

Although I enjoy nice things, it felt good to have my blindness keep me free from the ugly laws. Seven years have passed since I lost my sight and I’m now doing things that seemed impossible when I was newly blind. I live alone in Oakland, California, rely on my guide dog, Oslo, for mobility, and work as a writer full-time. I also go out on dates and have been engaged twice. But while I have learned to do everything the blind way, I always find myself teaching others how to interact with me -- something I’ve become better at with time. And, one of the main themes I battle with, especially in the gay community, is the importance of beauty.

For instance, I met Jacob at a bar. His jokes and comical punch lines had won me over. Our dates always ended with my stomach hurting and my eyes tearing from so much laughter. We had taken a two week break while I retired my first guide dog, Madge, and completed the two week training with my second dog, Oslo. Jacob had stopped by my place to meet my new set of eyes. “He’s adorable!” Jacob cheered. “You two look great together.” I leaned my head on his shoulder and told Jacob I thought we looked good too, feeling his arm tense up. “What’s wrong?” I asked, hearing him sit up and walk on the linoleum floor. He drew a big breath. “I sometimes wish you could see me,” he shared. “I wish you knew what I look like.” “I do know what you look like,” I replied. “I’ve touched your face plenty of times.” “It’s not the same. I’m really average looking Belo, and people always give me a knowing look when we are out,” Jacob sighed. It wasn’t the first time insecurities around his appearance came up, but it was the first time he mentioned others. “Knowing look?” I inquired, my voice dry. “What do you mean?” “The look that says ‘if you could see, you wouldn’t be with me.’”

I felt my throat tighten. Even though I live in a pitch-dark world, I still lived in a seeing universe ruled by laws of physical beauty. And no matter what I would say, I could not give him the validation he sought. Not wanting to argue, I changed the conversation and suggested we grab dinner in San Francisco. The drive over the Bay Bridge did us well. We were laughing and cracking jokes the entire ride. It was an unusually warm San Francisco evening and we opted to eat on the patio of a Castro Street bistro to give Oslo more leg room. Like his predecessor, Oslo kept receiving compliments for his great looks by people passing by. One guy even asked to photograph my eighty pound black lab. The stranger handed me his card and said, “I’m Steve and I’m an amateur photographer. I would love to shoot your pup next weekend.” Thinking nothing of the gesture, I took the man’s card and agreed to call him soon. “You know that was a ploy to pick up on you,” Jacob hissed, munching on ice. “He looked at me and then gave you a look. You just couldn’t see it.” “Oh come on!” I shouted, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. “That’s not true.” Jacob remained quiet the rest of the evening and seven days went by before I heard back from him. I was sitting at my desk, working on an article when his email came in. As the screen reader read his note in the phonics voice, I grew restless.

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His words were simple. The message said he couldn’t date me anymore because I needed someone more like me. “More like me?” I mumbled. “What does that mean?” I began to reflect on insecurities. In losing my sight, I was forced to face all of my worries at once, helping me learn how to deal with them. And while dating a guy who wasn’t hot may have been an initial concern, it no longer bothered me. I did a quick web search for ugly laws, hoping to find an inspirational article. But, instead, I found the contrary. My search yielded The Ugly Laws of the United States that were enforced from the 1860s to the 1970s. During this time, several American cities had regulations that fined anyone with a physical disability that was considered too hideous, if they were seen in public. As I continued to read, I felt lucky not to have been around in that time. Then something clicked in my head. The ugly laws haven’t been abolished. They are still around and even more prevalent in the gay community. These are the same rules that make many gay men join a gym and seek the latest fashions. Although I enjoy nice things, it felt good to have my blindness keep me free from the ugly laws.

Belo Cipriani is the Writer-inResidence at Holy Names University, a spokesperson for Guide Dogs for the Blind, the “Get to Work” columnist for SFGate.com, and the author of Blind: A Memoir. Learn more at BeloCipriani.com. LIVING OUT

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