Issue 7, Volume 3: September 2015

Page 1


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LIVING OUT

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In THis Issue September 2015 - Volume 3, Issue 7 1 Cover 3 In this issue in the news: 6 national 7 interNational Out on LI: 8 Back to school 11 National Coming out day Calendar Out front: 14 Margaret Cho Out and about: 18 Q-music: Dance if you want to

18 Screen Savor: ex/it 20 Sweet Giant: Kristian Nairn 22 BE scene: Sunset on the harbor Living healthy: 24 wellness: Brain food 26 passing the test Living smart: 29 Fall recipes 30 Finance: Saving money in college National Coming Out Day 2015

Wear the ribbon

Points of view: 33 Black women, gay men suffering at the hands of police

Living Out is produced by the LGBT Network.

34 trans-mission: Would you like to take a survey?

show your support Nassau: Center at Woodbury | 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Ste. 110 | Woodbury, NY 11797 Suffolk West: Center at Bay Shore | 34 Park Avenue | Bay Shore, NY 11706 Suffolk East: Hamptons LGBT Center | 44 Union Street | Sag Harbor, NY 11963 Queens: Center at Little Neck | 58-20 Little Neck Pkwy. | Little Neck, NY 11362 PROGRAMS@LIGALY.ORG // LIGALY.ORG // FACEBOOK.COM/LIGAYYOUTH // TWITTER.COM/LGBTNETWORKNY // INSTAGRAM.COM/LGBTNETWORK

get published!

livingout

David Kilmnick, Publisher info@livingoutli.org

20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797 516.323.0011

alexis capitini, Editor/Art Director editor@livingoutli.org art@livingoutli.org

Want to join our team as a monthly contributor?

Jonathan Chenkin, Advertising advertising@livingoutli.org

We’re looking for talented writers and photographers to get involved in Long Island’s newest LGBT publication!

follow our lead Become a fan on Facebook at facebook. com/livingoutli or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/livingoutli

stay in the know Keep connected at livingoutli.org

Contributors Oriol R. Guitierrez Jr., Rev. Irene Monroe, Jennifer Nyx, Rachel Roth, Gregg Shapiro, Gwendolyn Ann Smith

Cover Photo Pixievision

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long island life LGbt culture

june 2015

vol 3, issue 5

SPECIAL PRIDE GUIDE EDITION!

PRIDE 25

Long Island Pride Parade and PrideFest Celebrates 25th Anniversary on Saturday, June 13th

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connect with us

twitter.com/livingoutli livingoutli.org

apply to be a contributor Email editor@livingoutli.org! LIVING OUT

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1246148

GBT TIB

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ving Out

Together is a beautiful thing. This is a moment to celebrate. You’ve worked hard to get this far, and look at what you’ve accomplished. At Wells Fargo, we recognize your successes, and are committed to supporting the financial needs of our LGBT community, customers, and team members. Because when we work together to realize our dreams — it’s nothing short of a beautiful thing. wellsfargo.com/lgbt

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LIVING4/8/15 OUT 10:25 • AM5


In the news

national News

By Rachel Roth

kentucky clerk Continues to defy supreme court ruling

Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis continues to deny marriage licenses to gay couples following the Supreme Courts refusal to support her petition. Ms. Davis had told the Supreme Court that her Apostolic Christian faith forbade her to affix her name to a document endorsing the view that the marriages of gay men and lesbians was authentic. She has said she is denying the licenses "under the authority of God." Daniel J. Canon, a lawyer for some of the couples seeking licenses said, "she's certainly in contempt of the court by any definition of the term, the District Court has an array of sanctions it can resort to."

2015 Particularly deadly for trans women K.c. Howard, a 66-year-old transgender woman from Fresno, Calif., was murdered on July 23, making her the eleventh transgender woman to be murdered this year. One day earlier, India Clarke, a 25-year-old African American trans woman, was found beaten to death outside Tampa. Tampa resident Keith Gaillard turned

himself in to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office in connection with her murder. By comparison in all of 2014, 12 trans women were murdered. According to the Advocate, women of color are the predominant group of trans people facing fatal violence every year worldwide.

gay man suing NYPD over violent beating

Democrats, republicans, introduce religious liberty, civil rights bill With marriage equality comes questions of religious liberty and civil rights, and a pair of bills are working their way through the legislature to address those questions. Both Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate are attempting to address the question of whether or not people or groups have the First Amendment right to express their beliefs about gay marriage by withholding services or employment or whether civil rights protections should be extended to gay and lesbian couples in the workplace and community. Republican Congressman Raul Labrador (above, left) and Republican

A gay Staten Island man is suing the NYPD after four officers dragged him from his home last month and beat him while repeatedly yelling homophobic slurs. Louis Falcone (left), 31, told the New York Daily News that officers came to the house to investigate a noise complaint. A neighbor filmed the violent attack. Falcone is suing for violating his civil rights, and for the injuries he suffered.

Senator Mike Lee of Utah (above, right) co-authored the First Amendment Defense Act. The bill would prevent the federal government from taking “any discriminatory action” against anyone who acted “in accordance with his or her religious beliefs.” Conversely, the Equality Act sponsored by Senators Jeff Merkley of Oregon, Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin and Cory Booker of New Jersey, and Representative David Cicilline of Rhode Island, all Democrats. The bill would extend the protections of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to members of the LGBT community.

Seattle mayor addresses hate crime uptick Boy scouts change policy on gay leaders Seattle Mayor Ed Murray proposed a plan to make the city safer for LGBT residents. Some of the mayor’s action items were to improve services for LGBT youth, enact a law making all single restrooms in city buildings gender-neutral, and a public education 6

LIVING OUT

campaign. The plan is in response to a 46 percent increase in LGBT-related hate crimes this year. The mayor’s proposal is based on recommendations from an LGBTQ Task Force that was appointed in March.

The National Executive Board of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) voted to end the ban on allowing openly gay men to be scout leaders and employees of the organization. Shortly after the announcement, Mormon Church leadership released a statement say-

ing it was “deeply troubled” by the BSA’s decision and threatened to cut ties with the Boy Scouts. The church is the largest Boy Scout charter, and more about 20 percent of all scouts are Mormon, The Washington Post reported.

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In the news

international News

By Rachel Roth

Famous journalist convicted of homosexual acts

A well-known Senegalese journalist was sentenced to six months in prison for “acts of homosexuality,” which is illegal in this West African country. According to the Associated Press, magazine columnist Tamsir Jupiter Ndiaye was being chased by an angry mob and sought refuge in a Dakar police station. Ndiaye has several previous convictions and spent two years in jail for acts of homosexuality, illegal possession of arms and battery.

Russian lgbt activist fined Yelena Klimova, founder of an online LGBT community for Russian teens, was fined for violating the Country’s anti-gay propaganda law. She was charged with spreading LGBT propaganda to minors via her website; Deti-404 spread. She appealed a similar charge earlier in the year and will attempt to appeal this ruling as well.

6 stabbed in jerusalem pride parade

Six people were stabbed during at Jerusalem's Gay Pride Parade. Yishai Schlissel (above, middle), an ultraOrthodox extremist, was arrested. One of the victims, 16-year-old Shira Banki died as a result of her wounds. As of press time, Schlissel was arrested immediately after the attack, but has yet to be charged with a crime, but he is being held in police custody

while the investigation against him continues. According to The Huffington Post, Schlissel was convicted of a similar attack that wounded several people at a gay pride parade in Jerusalem in 2005. Schlissel had been released from prison just three weeks ago after serving his sentence.

Kazakhstan loses olympic bid Kazakhstan lost its chance to host the 2022 Winter Olympics to Beijing - in large part due to the country’s treatment of LGBT citizens. While a proposed bill that would criminalize homosexuality was dropped in May in an effort to win the bid, LGBT Kazakhs

live “in a climate of fear.” The Human Rights Watch issued a report saying that LGBT people in Kazakhstan face hostility and abuse, as well as a lack of sufficient response and support mechanisms.

PennsylvaniA Senate appoints trans woman as state physician general The Pennsylvania state Senate unanimously voted to appoint Dr. Rachel Levine as state physician general, making her the first transgender person in Pennsylvania appointed to a governor's cabinet, as well as one of the highest-ranking transgender public officials in the U.S.

"I think [being trans] has helped me in terms of the LGBT community in terms of understanding what all the issues are," said Levine in an interview with The Patriot-News. "I've been able to serve as a mentor and role model to LGBT individuals at the medical center as well as in the community."

Obama lectures Kenyan president on gay rights While visiting Kenya last month, President Obama criticized Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta for the country’s harsh anti-gay laws. Under Kenyan law, sexual activity between men is illegal and punishable with a maximum imprisonment of 14 years. CNN reported that President Obama

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equated legalized discrimination of gays to legalized racism in America and said “bad things can happen” when people are treated differently under the law. President Kenyatta said that while the U.S. and Kenya share many common values and goals, gay rights is not one of them. LIVING OUT

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out on li

Back to School:

LIGALY continues to work to create safe schools Our schools are still not safe for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth. 81% of LGBT youth report being verbally harassed or threatened daily in school because of their sexual orientation. LGBT youth have the right to go to school without being bullied or harassed, and they should not have to feel unsafe either.

81%

of LGBT students were verbally harassed, or threatened because of their sexual orientation

they see it as their only way to end the bullying and harassment. While bullying and harassment of LGBT students is a terrible occurance, there is a solution to these problems. In partnering with over 100 school districts across Nassau and Suffolk Counties (and now in the borough of Queens), LIGALY's Safe

64%

of LGBT students felt unsafe because their sexual orientation

Since 1993, Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) has been working to create safe schools and combating statistics like these through its Safe Schools Initiative. This program helps student leaders and school staff to develop a school culture that fosters support, understanding, and respect for LGBT youth, families and educators. Studies have shown that bullying not only effects the short-term, but it has long-term effects as well. LGBT students who are victims of bullying and harassment are shown to have higher rates of depression than their peers and are more likely to skip class or dropout of school altogether. They are also much more likely to drink, smoke, or use other drugs as a coping mechanism for the pain they experience. LGBT students are also more likely to commit suicide than other youth because

44%

32%

of LGBT students felt unsafe because their gender expression

Schools Initiative is able to deliver education, prevention, and outreach programs that help to create safer schools. LIGALY will be continuing its phenominal work for the 2015-2016 school year to put an end to the bullying and harassment of LGBT youth in Long Island schools. Last year, LIGALY delivered over 300 "LGBT 101" anti-bullying workshops in schools all across Long Island. LIGALY also trains teachers and other staff in schools so that they are prepared to address and prevent bullying as it takes place. Each year, LIGALY asks the community for support in putting an end to bullying and harassment. Their Back to School Campaign seeks to raise funds to help support these anti-

of LGBT students did not go to school for at least one day because of feeling unsafe

bullying workshops and trainings throughout the school year. For the 2014-2015 school year, LIGALY was able to deliver over 300 anti-bullying workshops to 5,000 students, train 1,000 teachers and school staff to prevent bullying, and conduct leadership trainings for 1,500 youth leaders from 50 Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) clubs. LIGALY also implements an Annual National Coming Out Day Awareness Campaign (see page 11 for more information) in over 60 Long Island schools that engaged over 65,000 students and educators to take a stand against bullying and run a weekly youth leadership program – Safe Schools Team – that builds youth leadership and helps youth to organize in their school communities to stop bullying.

TO HELP PUT AN END TO BULLYING AND HARASSMENT OF LGBT STUDENTS VISIT LGBTNETWORK.ORG/BACKTOSCHOOL FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO MAKE A DONATION Second annual

Boot Camp against bullying

Date: Saturday, Sept. 19th When: 10 a.m. - 12 p.m. Where: East Hampton Home of Dr. Rob Moraru and Steve Barnes What: 45-minute familyfriendly boot camp workout led by trainers from Equinox Fitness Club Includes: Complimentary workout mat & towel; healthy breakfast provided by Babette's of East Hampton Tickets: $50 in advance $60 at the door day of

Give bullying the boot at "Boot Camp Against Bullying," a special fundraising event for the LGBT Network (the Network) to support its Hamptons LGBT Center anti-bullying outreach and education in schools. Bullying and harassment of LGBT students happens

8

LIVING OUT

all across Long Island. In September 2012, 16-yearold David Hernandez Barros, an East Hampton student, committed suicide because he was bullied for being gay. This tragic event accelerated rhe Network's efforts to open a third community center housed within the Old Whalers Church in

Sag Harbor, the Hamptons LGBT Center. The Center has become a home and safe space for LGBT youth, adults, older adults, and LGBT-headed families to express themselves in a supportive environment.

Schools Initiative to deliver education, prevention, and outreach programs that help to create safer schools. To register, call 516.323.0011 or visit: lgbtnetwork.org/bootcamp.

Each year, the Network continues its anti-bullying work through the Safe

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LIVING OUT

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LIVING OUT

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out on li

ligaly youth and volunteers cut and fold ribbons all summer (below) in preparation for the campaign. The ribbons, along with palm cards and posters are sent to schools across LI.

National Coming Out Day 2 015

show your support

National Coming Out Day: Oct. 9th Every year, LGBT students and their allies don rainbow ribbons and ally stickers to participate in Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth’s (LIGALY) National Coming Out Day (NCOD) School Awareness Campaign across Long Island. This year’s campaign marks the 13th Annual NCOD Campaign. Since 1993, LIGALY’s Safe Schools Initiative has worked with more than 100 of Long Island’s 127 public school districts to develop a school culture that fosters support, understanding, and respect for LGBT youth, families, and educators.

implementing the campaign. LIGALY believes that the NCOD campaign appeals to all people, whether they identify as LGBT or as an ally – or even those that have never considered speaking up before. Students and educators alike who have never considered being an ally are gaining the awareness that they need in order to “come out” and support a cause they were once afraid of backing. "Having a specific day where the youth know it is safe to express who they are or what they supports means a lot to youth

National Coming Out Day allows youth to have the opportunity to 'come out' and for allies to show their support. Over 65,000 students participated in last year’s NCOD with 61 schools

LIGALY's National coming out day school awareness campaign is friday, october 9th. to learn more, get involved, or schedule an ncod workshop, visit lgbtnetwork.org/ ncodregistration2015

everywhere – regardless of whether or not they choose to actually 'come out' on NCOD," says Irene Tsikitas, Director of Programs for LIGALY, "the National Coming Out Day Campaign allows youth to have the opportunity to 'come out' in any way to help make schools safer for LGBT youth and their allies." LIGALY’S NCOD Campaign calls on the entire school community to "come out" as advocates of safer schools and

Wear the ribbon show you r support

Nassau: Center at Woodbury | 20 Crossways Suffolk West: Center at Bay Park Dr. N., Ste. Shore | 34 Park Suffolk East: 110 | Woodbury, Hamptons LGBT Avenu NY 11797 Queens: Center Center | 44 Union e | Bay Shore, NY 11706 at Little Street

Neck | 58-20 PROGRAMS@LIGAL Little Neck Pkwy. | Sag Harbor, NY 11963 Y.ORG // LIGALY.OR | Little Neck, G // FACEBOOK.COM/LI NY 11362 GAYYOUTH // TWITTER. COM/LGBTNETWOR KNY // INSTAGRA

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to help reduce levels of LGBT-related harassment and bullying. The NCOD Campaign encourages participants to make a statement and show their support of LGBT students by wearing a rainbow ribbon pin or ally sticker. LIGALY provides free campaign kits to participating schools that include the rainbow pins and stickers, as well as campaign posters, palm cards and a resource guide to assist students in implementing the campaign. Every year, the materials for the campaign are developed and created by LIGALY’s Safe Schools Team, a group of student leaders who are provided with specialized education and training to address antiLGBT bullying in schools. LIGALY also provides free on-site training for student organizations that want to host the campaign.

ORK

In addition to providing education and training to schools who wish to participate, the LIGALY Advisory board (LAB), a youth leadership group that meets every Monday from 5pm-7pm at the Center at Bay Shore, hosts a special themed "OUTlet" in celebration of NCOD. OUTlet is a Friday night youth program that is a unique, safe, and substance-free space to make friends and hang out. "National Coming OUTlet" will take place on October 9th from 8pm-12am. This OUTlet invites youth to socialize with other youth who also participated in NCOD at their schools and to engage in several activities, including a safe space to tell their coming out stories if they wish to do so.

Date: Saturday December 5th

commemorating world aids day

winter ball

When: 7 p.m. - Midnight Where: Allegria Hotel 80 W. Broadway Long Beach What: Dinner-dance fundraising event for the LGBT Network's prevention initiatives and services for people living with HIV/AIDS

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Sponsorships are available now!

The 2015 Winter Ball, presented by TD Bank, returns to the Allegria Hotel in Long Beach this year on Saturday, December 5th from 7 p.m. to midnight. The Winter Ball is held by the LGBT Network (the Network)

every year in December to commemorate World AIDS Day. All proceeds from the event are used by the Network for its HIV/AIDS outreach, testing, prevention, education, and support services.

Sponsorships for the event are available now! Sign on to sponsor by Friday, September 25th to have your name included on the invitation.

For more information on the event or to purchase a sponsorship, call 516.323.0011 or visit: lgbtnetwork.org/winterball.

LIVING OUT

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show your pride

calendar of events Volunteer Orientation Tuesday, Sept. 8th, 6 - 7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Are you interested in giving back to the community in an impactful way? Volunteering for the LGBT Network is a great way to support the LGBT community. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Nassau Mingle: Eisenhower Park Tuesday, Sept. 8th, 11 a.m. Tuesday, Sept. 22nd, 11 a.m. Parking Field 3 1899 Hempstead Tpke. East Meadow We are enjoying the outdoors! Picnic tables are available but feel free to bring your own lawn chair. The raindate for September 8th will be on Tuesday, September 15th. There is no raindate for September 22nd. If you plan on attending, contact Alyssa Cottone 24 hours in advance to confirm in case of poor weather. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Second Annual Boot Camp Against Bullying Saturday, Sept. 19th, 10 a.m. At the East Hampton home of Dr. Rob Moraru & Steve Barnes

Fall Family Carnival Sunday, Sept.27th, 12 - 5 p.m. East End: The Hamptons LGBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

Hampton Bays Mingle 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 3-5 p.m. Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays

Nassau County Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Please join Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) for this special fundraising event to raise awareness about anti-LGBT bullying. Bullying and harassment of LGBT students is a terrible occurence that happens all across Long Island. If you are interested in sponsoring, want to purchase a ticket, or would like to learn more about this wonderful event, please visit lgbtnetwork.org/bootcamp. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Step right up to the Fall Family Carnival! This big tent experience will bring together LGBT-headed households at the Hamptons LGBT Center. $5 admission and children three and under are free. Food bracelets will be available for an additional $10 per adult and $5 for youth (21 and under). For more information, or to register, visit lgbtnetwork.org/familycarnival. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for LGBT seniors 50+ on the East End. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI’s weekly social for LGBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Woodbury www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

LIFE in Nassau 2nd Thursday, 7-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

OUTlet Fridays, 8 p.m.-Midnight Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

SAGE-LI OUTdoors Trip & Restaurant OUTing: Cruise on the LI Sound Friday, Sept. 25th, 12 p.m. 102 W Broadway Port Jefferson

Shake Your Lulav Tuesday, Sept. 29th,7-8:30p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, LIGALY Advisory Board 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Mondays, 6-8 p.m. Come together under the Sukkah and Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, stars for a Sukkot Celebration for Jewish 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

LGBT-headed households and their Join us as we cruise the Long Island friends. Kosher food, cocktails, and fun Sound and enjoy lunch aboard the Port Jewish rituals to be enjoyed. Registration Jefferson Ferry! The Galley onboard offers is required. Admission is $10 per adult sandwiches, burgers, salads, and snacks and $5 per child. Children under the ranging from $6-$12. The boat leaves age of three are free. Price includes Super Smash Brothers from the Port Jefferson Ferry Terminal dinner and refreshments. For more Tournament promptly at 12pm so please give yourself information, or to register, visit Friday, Sept. 11th, 6 - 8 p.m. time to find parking. Round trip tickets lgbtnetwork.org/sukkotcelebration East End: The Hamptons cost $15 per person (does not include www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 LGBT Center, 44 Union St., lunch or parking). Ferry terminal parking is $5 for Brookhaven 20 Something Sag Harbor Join us for an exciting night of residents and $20 for non-residents. 2nd & 4th Fridays, 7:30-9 p.m competition! Bring your friends, pick from There is also street parking and meter Nassau: Center at Woodbury, your favorite video game characters, parking. RSVP required by Thursday, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury and revel in victory! Light refreshments September 24th. Discussion and support group for LGBT provided. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 people in their 20’s. A safe and affirming www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950 Be Proud! Be Responsible! space to share their experiences. SAGE-LI Health Series: Saturday, Sept. 26th, 10 a.m. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

HIV/AIDS, Then & Now Monday, Sept. 14th, 1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Tuesday, Sept. 15th 1 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Get the sex ed you won't get in health class! "Be Proud! Be Responsible!" is a fun, full-day workshop dedicated to providing LGBT youth, their friends ,and allies with the power to make proud and responsible choices concerning Join us for lunch and a discussion to their sexual health. Upon completion, recognize National HIV/AIDS and Aging all participants will receive a $20 Awareness Day and how far the LGBT gift card! Free pizza! Prizes given community has come since the AIDS for active participation! Free van Epidemic. You will have the opportunity transportation available! to share experiences, learn about current www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 HIV/AIDS rates and resarch, and best SAGE-LI End of Summer practices to keep yourself safe. Potluck www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Health Series: Alzeheimer's Disease & Knowing the 10 Signs Thursday, Sept. 17th, 1 p.m. East End: The Hamptons LGBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor The Alzheimer’s Assocation of Long Island is providing a workshop about “The Basics: Memory Loss, Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease” and “Knowing the 10 Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease”. Many warning signs of the disease are dismissed as the side effects of aging, which may not be the case. This workshop will provide you with a better understanding of Alzheimer’s Disease and the ability to recognize the signs and symptoms. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Saturday, Sept. 26th, 6:30 pm East End: The Hamptons LGBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor It’s that time again! We are getting together for another Potluck! Bring your favorite dish and join us for a fun night with food, music, and good company. RSVP with the dish you are bringing required by Thursday, September 24th to Chris Polistena at 631.899.4950 or cpolistena@lgbtnetwork.org. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

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LIFE in Nassau meets every second Thursday. Open to adults of all genders and orientations with an interest in BDSM topics.

Advisory Board (SAGE-LI) Monday, Sept. 14th, 1-2 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Tuesday, Oct. 6th 1-2 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury We want to hear your voice! This group provides feedback on current SAGE-LI programming, offers ideas for additional programming, and helps plan future events. All are welcome! www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing: Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury By Appointment. East End: The Hamptons LGBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Rd., Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@optonline.net, 516.375.9473

LITE Social and Discussion Group 1st & 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m. East End: The Hamptons LGBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Living PositHIVly 2nd & 4th Mondays, 12 - 1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Friday night social program for LGBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. Themes for this month include Traffic Light Night (9/11); Flash Back Friday (9/18); Dance Lounge (9/25). $2 admission, transportation available. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

Parent Support Group 1st & 3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st Monday, 6-7 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury If you workand/or have engag Discussion group for parents of LGBT children. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

This group provides a safe and supportive environment for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one or friend while offering help and guidence with the grieving process. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore SAGE-LI’s weekly social for LGBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

(SWAN) A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, & transgender women as well as women questioning their identity. There is no SWAN Wednesday, September 16th. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Calling Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for LGBT youth and their friends to show off their skills! Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for lesbians age 40+.

You Gotta Believe Mondays, 6-9 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

The Long Island LGBT Community Center has partnered with You Gotta Believe, a non-profit organization that places teenagers into permanent adoptive homes, to provide Adoptive Parent Interactive leadership program Preparation Classes! If you are interested promoting sexual health for LGBT young in participating, please call 631.665.2300. people. www.lgbtnetwork.org www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

PEP Teams – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Safe Schools Team Wednesdays, 6-8 p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Evening Mingle 3rd Wednesday, 7-9 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

If you workand/or have engagements A support group for LGBT and allies living during the day that limit you from with HIV/AIDS. attending the fabulous SAGE-LI daytime www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.665.2300 programming, this is the program for you. All are welcome! Long Island LGBT www.lgbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Bereavement Group 2nd & 4th Mondays, 7-8 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

SAGE-LI Women at Nassau Wednesdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Nassau: Center at Woodbury, 20 Crossways Park Dr. North, Suite 110, Woodbury

Youth Group Tuesdays, 5-7 p.m. East End: The Hamptons LGBT Center, 44 Union St., Sag Harbor

All East End youth should come check out this new hot LGBT spot. Every Tuesday is a fun interactive youth group: hang out with others in the lounge. You won’t want to miss it! Themes for September include: Candy Swap Night (9/8); Card Game Night (9/15); Board Game Night (9/22); LGBT Movie Night (9/29). www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

Youth Support Group 4th Thursday, 5-6p.m. Suffolk: Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore For all youth under 21 to come share their thoughts, problems and ups and downs in a confidential, safe space. www.lgbtnetwork.org, 631.899.4950

ALL OF THE LGBT NETWORK COMMUNITY CENTERS WILL BE CLOSED ON MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7TH FOR LABOR DAY.

LIVING OUT

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out and about

a Living Out exclusive interview

she's no psyCHO Comedian Margaret Cho talks about where she came from, reducing stigma in the LGBT community, and how she deals with the madness of today

by David Kilmnick, PhD and Alexis Capitini

S

an Francisco native Margaret Cho is no stranger to the comedy world, or to the gay community. The forty-six year old "Queen of all Media" has always been the Agent Provocateur of stand up. Conquering the worlds of film, television, books, music, and theater, she has never been one to shy away from difficult or 'taboo' topics. As the "Patron Saint" for outsiders, Cho advocates for gay rights and bullying. From her activism to her stand up, she is honest, forthright, passionate, uproarious and always entertaining. Embarking on her latest tour this October, Cho continues to show the world that she will never back down. (Margaret Cho performs at the Theatre at Westbury on Thursday, October 8th.) David Kilmnick: You’ve been an advocate fighting for change and equality for the LGBT community for as long as I can remember and I remember you talking about some of your friends from high school in some of your work. Can you share with us what led you to become a leader and speaking out for LGBT rights and the safety of LGBT youth? Margaret Cho: Well I just grew up within the gay community in San Francisco. My parents bought a bookstore on Polk Street in the 70s and this was like an amazing time that is written all about in Armistead Maupin’s Tales 14

LIVING OUT

Photos courtesy of Mary Taylor

of the City, and he actually did book signings at my parent’s bookstore. So it was a center for gay life, gay literary life in San Francisco for many years and so I grew up within that community and have always been aware of the politics and the very beginning of this incredible political movement. So it was an important time historically to just witness everything, like before AIDS and after AIDS and the way that community dealt with it and so it was always a part of my life to be part of this very exciting movement. DK: I think that the story you have told about your friends is very compelling. Would you mind sharing that? MC: I had different people that I was hanging out with, like very exciting and thrilling individuals, people that aren’t here anymore. And there’s people that I was watching like Jerome Kozak, who was an amazing drag queen and artist, these are examples of people that I wanted to be like. I always had very crazy and wild friends and still I think when you lose some of your childhood to AIDS and you lose so much of your life, there’s like a ladder with a missing rung and you have to sort of make a bridge and tell stories of people you knew. I think for me it was always maybe a thing that I got from people I grew up with and

from my family and the people that were around my family and so I always want to be very – I don’t know – I guess to talk about how it was and what it’s like and now sort of share my own experience with younger people, too. I do work with the Larkin Street Youth Center, it’s a homeless shelter for LGBT youth and it’s a really important place. It’s also just a consciousness that I have around LGBT youth because I know that it’s hard, that it’s a very difficult place to be in if you feel alone, it’s about connecting with other people. DK: I get asked this question a lot as CEO of LIGALY, people say isn’t the world much better today for LGBT youth than it was 23 years ago, what would you say to that? Is the world better for LGBT youth today? MC: I think it’s different. I think it’s different kinds of struggles. I think the world is actually a lot bigger now, and smaller because of social media; you have this whole entity that we never really had to deal with as kids. We always had the communities that we were in and having to deal with that, but we never had to deal with the outside world, which is I think very hostile for anybody who is outside of the mainstream. So, it’s a different world; I think there is a lot more consciousness around bullying and a language about it and an awareness, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen. It still

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out Front happens and maybe in a larger way than even we can comprehend if you can grow up with social media… I deal with social media as an adult, but as a kid, going into that world and being different and having to deal with homophobia on a very, very large scale, homophobia that is institutionalized which we all grew up with so that is something I can identify with, but then, beyond that, what is it like for LGBT youth to go online and have to deal with all of this stuff that is coming at them – whether it’s bullying or stories about another trans teen killing themselves, it’s just so much information now that they have to take in about how difficult it is to be gay. But then there’s also an amazing support network now, too. So I don’t know if it’s harder or what it’s like I just think it’s very different. DK: Speaking of bullying, you’ve had to deal with bullying from producers and others in the entertainment industry related to your weight and culture. Can you share how you dealt with that, and within that, what is your message to LGBT youth who are still bullied in school today? MC: Well, I think, I didn’t deal with any of the bullying that I endured well. When I was bullied in school, I always just endeavored to get out and as a result grew up way too quickly trying to become an adult and escape my peers. Then, when I was in show business, and I am still in show business, when I was younger I definitely dealt with people who had very strong opinions of my body and this is not just people I’m talking to, this is critics and newspaper articles and stuff just criticizing my weight and my looks and just having a sense of not really knowing where to go, I became very anorexia and bulimic, which is not the answer either. And so now I just say take that pain and push it out into the world as opposed to internalizing it, which I mean is that you have to share it and somehow maybe come to terms with it without using it to harm yourself, which is my mistake, and is also sort of human nature to do that but we need to reject that and make something happen where we can stop the hurt and push it outward, I think it’s the best kind of thing. If you can just share it, it makes it a lot easier. DK: And the way that you do it through laughter, through comedy, is great medicine, too, for many. MC: I try. I think that’s one way of sharing the burden of the suffering that the world piles onto you -- and if you share it, it makes that burden much lighter. DK: You’re latest tour is called, “PsyCHO” or Pyscho.

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If you’re an out, gay celebrity you have a responsibility to be an activist and so many people are willing to take that on... MC: Yeah, it’s from the title “There’s no I in team, but there’s a CHO is psycho,” which is just all about dealing with the madness of the world by generating your own madness and putting it out there. I think that’s really like trying to find an answer to all these questions, because it’s also very crazy what we’re experiencing right now and I think it’s the 24-hour news cycle. I think maybe these things have always been happening but we just didn’t know about everything. Now we have more of an awareness of what is going on in the world and so it’s about trying to make sense of it by getting crazy yourself. DK: You mentioned your parents earlier, and I know from following your career, the imitations of your mom in particular really tell a story. How have your parents inspired your material? MC: Well, they were very, and they are still very, inspirational. They’re very funny people and they are very artistic and interesting and questioning and always very accepting of everything. I think our family was incredibly progressive in the way that my parents really wanted to be, in and around the gay community, even though they were kind of conservative Koreans and also pretty religious, but at the same time rejected the homophobia that’s actually very present in Korean culture and went actually inside to sort of being part of the gay community as sort of the first allies that I ever recognized and that’s really tremendous. So I owe a great gift to them, who shaped my worldview in that way, and also I’m proud of their achievement in overcoming the homophobia that is so much a part of the culture they come from. DK: Speaking of the culture, we’re opening

up a new community center, the Q Center, in a predominantly Korean community, what do you think would be a great strategy in working with Korean communities around LGBT issues, particularly youth and seniors? MC: What’s important is to just have them acknowledged. The thing about it is that there’s so much invisibility about the gay community in Korea. They have a gay pride parade that people are afraid to take photographs at. I think that’s a big thing. I think it’s about really kind of calling people on what they’re not acknowledging and also understanding that in Korean culture there is a high degree of people being closeted, people being very, very afraid of expressing themselves and being honest about their sexuality. Movie stars in Korea are still not coming out, and not that that’s that different in America, but at least there are gay films, gay stories that we want to tell and people willing to come forward. If you’re an out, gay celebrity you have a responsibility to be an activist and so many people are willing to take that on, but there are still people who are unwilling. In Korea, there’s just no language around that, it’s hard for people still. I think anyone going into that community has to understand the level of silence and invisibility that gay people have within Korean culture. DK: Many people have compared your comedic style to Richard Pryor and George Carlin. Do you think that’s accurate? MC: Yeah! I love that! I love both of them and they are both very important to me as comedy mentors, just for their work. And I was actually pretty close to the Pryor family when LIVING OUT

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out Front Richard was really sick and dying and so I was able to really get to know this family. At that point, he couldn’t really speak anymore but I could really understand just the warmth and affection that he had for people like me and the people who worshiped him in comedy. It’s a real privilege to be able to do that and I was honored that the Carlin family asked me to participate when he was posthumously honored, he got the Mark Twain award after he died, so that was really tremendous too. I love both of them; I think they are both really tremendous influences in comedy and on me personally.

brought the focus into sex that was less about being fluid bonded with a person and more about expanding your idea about what your sexuality was. From there we have BDSM, which is a very big community that I was involved with for a long time, I don’t really have any relationships in that fear anymore but they are still wonderful, wonderful memories that I have and a wonderful way to kind of look at sexuality as being an expansive, spiritual practice than it is about just connecting with just one person.

...the bisexual community really is the neglected part of the LGBT, you know, the B is often silent.

DK: One of the things people love about you is that you’re not afraid to tackle anything publically in your show, particularly around issues of stigma, and you’ve been up front and open about being in open relationships. First, how would you describe your relationship status today? And second, what is your advice for those who are in open relationships but are afraid to talk about it because of the stigma? MC: Well, I’m currently not in an open relationship, but I have had many of them over time and that really has to do with my own desire to slow down everything with my body as I age and sexuality is something that just sort of becomes different and intimacy becomes different. When I was a little bit younger, it was really about wanting to be very open and communicative with anybody that I was around -- and growing up around AIDS, really changed sexuality because it

I think during the age of AIDS we were looking for different ways to make love and that is sort of what my own passions and feelings for what I want to do came from. DK: Speaking of fluidity, the bisexual community faces challenges from the LG communities and the heterosexual communities, too. What do you say to people who think being bisexual is “just a phase” or people who say to just “choose a side?” MC: I think there is an amount of distrust because it’s really this idea of you are refusing to be one or the other but for me it’s an honest summation of what I actually do believe or what I feel. I also think that bisexuality, for me, is a limiting term because I had different partners that were, in their own ways, they expressed their gender that was not binary, that was beyond male or female. And that gender isn’t necessarily two things, actually infinite, and I appreciate that.

So I think that bisexuality is a term that I use, but I know that it’s wrong, but I use it because I think that the bisexual community really is the neglected part of the LGBT, you know, the B is often silent. So, it’s a very kind of direct observation of how it feels, I want to represent the bisexual community if I can. DK: After this tour, what other projects are on the horizon, will we be seeing you on reality shows? MC: I don’t know. I have done some measure of that. I’m actually going into more of the behind the camera stuff, I’m transitioning into becoming more of a producer or writing. I think that there’s a lot of things that I’ve always wanted to do that I’m trying to push forward to now. I have some music projects that are on the way; I have music videos that I’ve been making. I just made one with Leslie Jordan, and it’s really about looking at how we as the gay community can “mother,” it’s sort of this genderless thing, it’s like a mother figure is something we can all relate to and express no matter who we are and who we’re doing it to. So I just made these two music videos that are directly relating that and those’ll be out pretty soon. I’m trying sort of do different kinds of social and political commentary and comedy with my music, and it's still stand up what I do, but I like to diversify and do different things. DK: Let me just say we are looking forward to you coming to Long Island, at the NYCB Theatre at Westbury. I’m sure you’ve been there before so you know you twirl around on the rotating stage. MC: Yes, yes! It’s a very strange thing. I think when I do it they have to stop it because I get so dizzy. It’s really weird, but yeah I love that theater, I think it’s so fun.

The NYCB Theatre at Westbury is hosting Margaret Cho on Thursday, October 8th at 8pm. Be one of the first to check out "The psyCHO Tour"in which she tries to bring some joy to the insanity of the world. Get your tickets now at thetheatreatwestbury.com

David Kilmnick is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of the LGBT Network and publisher of Living Out Magazine. Alexis Capitini is the Editor & Art Director of Living Out Magazine and Communications Manager for the LGBT Network. 16

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WE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A FAMILY. WE HELP BUILD THEM EVERY DAY. At Long Island IVF, our team of fertility specialists are proud to help the LGBT community build the family of their dreams. When you are ready to start, Long Island IVF is here to help. Please contact us to learn more.

Melville Phone 631-752-0606

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LIVING OUT

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17


out and about

Q-music

by gregg shapiro

DANCE IF YOU WANT TO Everyone wants to be Avicii. Even established dance artists such as David Guetta and Calvin Harris. Unfortunately, both Guetta and Harris’ new albums come up short when compared to the

In case you hadn’t heard, Röyksopp, Robyn’s Norwegian neighbors and frequent collaborators, has released its final album in the traditional format – The Inevitable End (Cherrytree/ Interscope). Coming on the heels of the spring 2014 EP Do It Again, with Robyn, the double-disc set features new versions of “Monument” and “Do It Again,” both of which originally appeared on the EP. Less about dancing and more about setting a mood for chilling (check out “You Know I Have To Go”), Röyksopp still knows how to make us move (“I Had This Thing,” “Running To The Sea”) and we can’t thank them enough for that.

incredible success of Avicii’s True disc, or Disclosure’s Settle, for that matter. Of the two, it’s French DJ Guetta who catches our ear with Listen (Atlantic/Parlophone), while Harris doesn’t move us with Motion.

DAVID GUETTA

CALVIN HARRIS

As if to prove there’s more to what he does than just make dance music, Guetta opens his disc with the safe rock number “Dangerous.” When he gets back into dance mode he earns our attention on “What I Did For Love” (not to be confused with the song from A Chorus Line) with vocals by Emeli Sandé, the vaguely dancehall “No Money No Love” featuring Elliphant & Ms. Dynamite, the John Legend title track and“Bang My Head” with the ubiquitous Sia.

Like “Lovers On The Sun” from the Guetta disc, “Faith,” which opens the Harris disc sounds like an imitation of Avicii’s “Wake Me Up.” Harris momentarily redeems himself with “Under Control” with Alesso and Hurts. Ellie Goulding, almost as omnipresent as Sia, can be heard on “Outside.” Perhaps the one place where Harris trumps Guetta is on the dance rock track “Pray To God,” featuring the amazing sister act Haim.

RÖYKSOPP

BORGORE On #Newgoreorder (Buygore/Dim Mak), Israeli EDM act Borgore is like an unrestrained Mystery Skulls. The soundtrack to a strip club (gay or straight), complete with chainsaw synths and smutty lyrics, as in “Syrup." Still, you have to admit that Borgore knows some cool folks, calling on Malcolm McDowell to speak during the titular cut and Miley Cyrus to duet with him on the jagged “Decisions.” Full-tilt dance-floor workout can be found on “Piñata,” “Be Ourselves” and The Pretty Remix of “Fame.” 18

LIVING OUT

MYSTERY SKULLS Veering dangerously close to being corporate club music as it does on “The Future,” Forever (WB), the debut album by Mystery Skulls redeems itself a few times. The grindy “Hellbent” featuring Snowblood crackles like the flames of the underworld. “Ghost” is haunted by Prince while “Magic” (featuring Nile Rogers and Brandy) chicly casts a spell on the dance floor.

For a complete list of artists, please visit livingoutli.org.

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out and about

Screen Savor

by gregg shapiro

Ex/It

The incredible 2014 Australian horror film The Babadook (pictured above) took a tired genre and turned it on its head. Creating terror through suspense instead of ugly violence, The Babadook’s writer/director Jennifer Kent raised the bar for other filmmakers working in the field.

When you watch Ex Machina (A24/Lionsgate), the directorial debut by novelist/screenwriter Alex Garland (The Beach), you might find yourself wondering if it was his intention that this movie be as imperfect as the tech it’s trumpeting. But don’t wonder about that for too long.

American filmmaker David Robert Mitchell now takes Kent’s baton and runs with it in It Follows (Anchor Bay/ Radius/Dimension). Set, appropriately, in the infected and rotting corpse of suburban Detroit (as the commercial say, “Pure Michigan”), It Follows focuses on a group of jaded teens and young adults playing games, both silly and deadly serious. Of course, there is sex involved; leading to a sort of STD tag, and Annie (Bailey Spry) is the first to die.

Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson), a semisocially awkward computer/tech nerd (No kidding! See also: Silicon Valley) is employed by Bluebook, founded by enigmatic and equally socially awkward computer/tech gazillionaire Nathan (a thoroughly miscast Oscar Isaac). Led to believe he has won an employee lottery that earns him a week at Nathan’s estate to meet with his reclusive boss, Caleb is brought by to his employer’s island, but has to walk a few miles on his own before he reaches the property.

Blonde and bored Jay (Maika Monroe) is the next to get infected after having sex with hot but haunted Hugh (Jake Weary). He’s nice enough to stick around after doing the deed with Jay, knocking her out and then telling her, after he’s bound her to a wheelchair, that if she wants to live she has to pass it on to someone else. Otherwise “it” will follow her and take her life. Talk about a killer STD. That’s quite a setup. Not long after she gets the news, Jay does begin to see “it,” which takes various forms, including an old woman in a nightgown, a halfdressed younger woman who urinates in Jay’s kitchen, and an extremely tall and thin man, to mention a few. Jay’s sister Kelly (Lili Sepe), friends and neighbors Greg (Daniel Zovatto), Yara (Olivia Luccardi) and Paul (Keir Gilchrist), who is still harboring an old crush on Jay, come together for the traumatized girl, and attempt to help her with her problem. Utilizing minimal special effects, Mitchell creates maximum fear and tension. Some of the credit goes to Monroe who has skillfully mastered the art of the descent into madness. Also, the terrifying score by film composer Disasterpiece (aka Rich Vreeland) is put to good use. The showdown finale in the swimming pool is particularly effective, since “it” never really stops following anyone. DVD special features include a critics’ commentary hosted by Scott Weinberg, a conversation with composer Disastepiece and more.

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As it turns out, Nathan’s high-tech mountainside fortress isn’t just his home; it’s also a research facility. Before they get down to the nitty-gritty of the visit, Caleb hesitantly signs a non-disclosure agreement (shades of 50 Shades), entitling him to take part (read: be the human component) in a Turing test, alongside Nathan’s AI (artificial intelligence) creation Ava (Alicia Vikander). Over the course of seven sessions, Caleb and Ava are observed by Nathan. Following each session, Caleb meets with Nathan, usually over a meal, where Nathan gets blind drunk and then loses consciousness. Nathan’s a real Pearl Mesta (or should that be Pearl Messedup?). Naturally (or is it artificially?), Caleb develops feelings for the attractive Ava, and believes that his attraction is reciprocated. During power cuts, when Caleb thinks he and Ava aren’t being observed by Nathan’s CCTV cameras, he naively hatches an escape plan for himself and Ava. But, predictably, puppet-master Nathan is pulling strings and pushing buttons all along. Don’t worry, he’s going to get his comeuppance (see Westworld). Ex Machina feels like a lot of wasted potential. Some of the special effects are special, while others are all too familiar. Fanboys and fangirls alike may lap this up like artificial sweetener, but those looking for something real will have to look elsewhere. DVD special features include the five-part featurette “Throught the Looking Glass: Creating Ex Machina,” behind-the-scenes vignettes and a SXSW Q & A with the cast and crew. LIVING OUT

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Sweet Giant

An interview Kristian Nairn, Game of Thrones’ Hodor by Gregg Shapiro

Since its debut on HBO more than four years ago, Game of Thrones, based on the book series by George R. R. Martin, has been one of the most consistently popular shows on TV. Set in the mythical territory of Westeros, the fantasy show’s popularity is probably based on the fact that the characters – good and evil – could just as well be walking among us in this century. Their behaviors aren’t that dissimilar from our own. It’s just that they have dragons and medieval weaponry at their disposal. One of Game of Thrones’ most beloved characters is the “sweet giant” known as Hodor. As portrayed by gay actor Kristian Nairn, who is in fact almost seven feet tall, Hodor, whose speaking ability is limited to his name and nothing more, has become a certified fan favorite. Nairn, whose first love is music, has also made a name for himself in the club DJ scene. He recently released his debut single “Up,” with the b-side “Beacon,” on Radikal Records. I spoke with Nairn about his career and more in August 2015. Kristian, most people first became aware of you via your portrayal of Hodor in HBO’s Game of Thrones. What does it mean to you as an actor to have been cast in a show as big and popular as Game of Thrones so early in your acting career? 20

LIVING OUT

Really, it’s my entirely first onscreen role. I didn’t have the desire to pursue the acting side of my life. I studied acting and music in drama school, but music was always more important to me. I didn’t have any idea how big Game of Thrones was. I don’t think any of us did. I remember saying to my mother, “I’ve just done this read for a show called Game of Thrones.” My mother was aware of the show through the books and she completely flipped out. She said, “If you get offered the role, take it. It’s going to be big.” I said, “Oh really?” I had just done this audition for this one-word character. I wasn’t really that keen on it. But it’s been totally and completely lifechanging. There’s nothing about my life that is the same as it was before Game of Thrones started. Everything is different in 99.9% positive ways. I’m very grateful. You described Hodor as a “one-word character.” He’s famous for only saying his name when he speaks, and nothing more. What are the challenges of playing a character with such dialogue limitations? It really depends on the scene. Sometimes HBO will give you scene that’s colored by body language and emotions. That can be challenging. However, I’m not afraid to admit that some of the scenes where you’re just a piece of background furniture or you’re stoking a fire and you have to

shout the word “Hodor” – that’s not very challenging [laughs]. A lot of the time (the people at) HBO are very specific about what they want from you as an actor. Only having the one word to show that can be challenging, but I enjoy it. It’s something different. As someone who talks a lot in real life, it’s a nice change [laughs]. You mentioned that your mother had been a fan of the books. Had you read any or all of George R. R. Martin’s books before you became a GoT cast member? I have not. But I will [laughs]. Were you a fan of this kind of material prior to becoming Hodor? I’m a huge fan of fantasy. But I don’t classify Game of Thrones as fantasy. It’s more like mafia. Like family drama. I prefer my fantasy a bit more unicorny. I like rainbows and unicorns and magic spells. That’s my favorite fantasy. I love Lord of the Rings. I think the show does a good job of sticking to the books (by Martin) and making the necessary changes. What’s the best way to persuade someone who might not ordinarily watch a show such as GoT to tune in to it? I’ve stopped even trying now. Everyone I know in my life watches it. It’s just ridiculous. Everyone’s obsessed with it.

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Out and About Every year it grows. There are even friends of mine who didn’t necessarily watch it because I’m in it. But they’ve all fallen like dominoes. I’ve never seen anything quite so universal. It is its own phenomenon. Before you were an actor, you had established yourself as a club DJ. What do you enjoy most about spinning? If I’m on set, I generally DJ the night before. I always do both. I get very

emotionally involved with the tracks I’m playing. Whether it’s a powerful bass line or an emotional synthesizer or a really good vocal line. It’s like having a megaphone on what you’re feeling yourself. It’s a way to shout out how you feel to the crowd. For me, it’s like an emotional conversation with the crowd. If you get that back from the crowd it’s really rewarding. I love the live aspect of it and the interaction. Have you had the opportunity to DJ at any bear events in the U.S., such as Bear Pride during IML in Chicago, Bear Week in Provincetown or BeachBear Weekend in Fort Lauderdale? I’ve been asked to do a number of Bear festivals, but unfortunately I haven’t been able to do them yet. I’m guess that being a DJ means you are a night person. Yeah, very much. Do you have to find a way to be both while working on GoT? People often worry about my health because I drink a scary amount of Red Bulls. People are shocked when they see the back of my car is full of Red Bull cans. I find that it doesn’t have any effect on me anymore. I don’t know why I bother [laughs].

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So how do you balance those schedules? I don’t. I sleep probably an average of two to three hours a night. But I’m getting on top of that at the moment. That’s probably more out of necessity than choice. I can’t turn my brain off when there’s something that’s still to be done. I can’t rest.

I thought, ‘It’s just me. It’s always been the way I am.’ -Kristian Nairn, on coming out You are also a musician and have recently released your first single called “Up.” What can you tell me about it? It’s actually a sample of an old Pamela Fernandez track, a very small snippet. I had it re-sung by a talented girl called Leanne Robinson. I love males who sing high and females who sing low. I love an asexual vocal. I like that aspect of Leanne’s voice. She was able to sing it really well. It’s what I love about house music. Did you ever get to meet Frankie Knuckles? No I never did, unfortunately. He was a genius. He would have done what I do, which is to fuse genres of house music together. He was never really stuck in one genre. His stuff would have been almost techno at one stage. I love that. I don’t see any reason to limit yourself. You mentioned males who sing high. Could you ever see yourself collaborating with Jimmy Somerville? Jimmy Somerville is one of my favorite vocalists. Him and k.d. lang. I would love

to work with her. She’s one of my all-time favorites. Maybe someday. Are you working on a full-length album? I never really envisioned it that way. Being a DJ I only see things as singles. But it is in the cards for after Christmas. We’ll have enough tracks to put together as an album. I have five to seven tracks ready to go. I’m pleased to say each is better than the next one. We didn’t shoot our mother lode with the first single. I didn’t show all my cards at once. Almost a year and a half ago, you came out as gay during an interview. Do you recall if there was any reaction from your GoT fans, or do you think that type of fan-base might be unfazed by such a revelation? The thing was I assumed that everyone knew [laughs]. It was really my second coming out. I’d done it when I was 14 and didn’t think I’d have to do it again. Especially since every single person in my life knew. I don’t know how people didn’t catch on to it. The Game of Thrones fans have been wonderful. There’s only been one negative comment. Honestly, I don’t go digging for negative comments on the internet because obviously there are some [laughs]. I don’t think that’s good for anybody’s mental health. Aside from that, it’s been a real pleasure. I didn’t gather that it was of any importance to anybody. I thought, “It’s just me. It’s always been the way I am.” I’ve gotten some nice messages. The way things are going, we’re making real progress in the world. It’s not the time to be quiet about this stuff. It’s the time to be recognized and visible. It’s interesting, too, that it was just a few months ago, Ireland led the way on gay marriage and then the U.S. followed suit. Do you have any thoughts on that? I live in the one part of the U.K. and Ireland that has yet to follow suit. I live in Belfast. We have our own little parochial government here. They will not let it happen yet. That’s something we’re working on. I will definitely do my part when it comes time. It has to change. We have the whole Protestant/Catholic thing here. A lot of the people want to become part of Ireland and a lot of them want to stay part of the U.K. It’s like, “Hello, guys! In Ireland there is gay marriage and in the U.K. there is gay marriage. Just fuckin’ pick one.” You can’t have all of the trappings of being part of a bigger country and not have all of the laws.

LIVING OUT

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be scene Sunset on the harbor

Saturday, July 25th, Breakwater Yacht club, sag harbor Over 250 guests joined the LGBT Network as it hosted the first public LGBT fundraiser, Sunset on the Harbor Cocktail Reception at the Breakwater Yacht Club in Sag Harbor. The event featured a silent auction, delicious food from Bay Brothers Catering, beverages provided by VDKA 6100 and Montauk Brewing Co., plus live entertainment from local Jazz-Rock band The Sectionals. Chad Smith, drummer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, surprised the crowd by playing Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” with the band.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

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23


living healthy

Wellness

by jennifer nyx

Brain Food The world is filled with so many delicious, nutritious natural foods. Some of them are particularly well suited for our brains, making them also the perfect foods to start off your kids’ day and send with them to school for lunch.

sandwiches. You can even take the vitamin and protein power of your bread to another level with sprouted grain breads. The Ezekiel brands are becoming more and more popular in the grocery store frozen food aisles. If you don’t see it stocked there, ask the store manager.

You want to supercharge your child’s brain? Here are a few of the best and most portable for those school lunch boxes:

Fish

The Green Smoothie! Loaded with the

best, most nutrient dense foods on the planet, a green smoothie for breakfast and even one sent off in a bottle for lunch will pack the most bang for your super brain buck. Bananas provide quick energy to the brain, and they are abundant in this recipe: blend a big handful of greens (spinach or kale) with water, one to two ripe bananas, and a cup of mixed fruit – and be sure to include some blueberries.

Blueberries

Antioxidant-rich blueberries protect the heart, we know this. They also protect the brain from stress, increase learning capacity and strengthen motor skills. And plus, they are delicious! This is an easy food to get kids to love. One cup of blueberries a day in any form will do the trick.

Whole grains

Whole grains are a tricky one, because so much of what’s packaged and sold as “whole grain” or “all natural” really isn’t at all. You have to be a nutrition label detective and make sure the first ingredient says “100 percent whole grain,” or else you might end up with a refined product stripped of its nutrients. Whole grain oatmeal is a great breakfast, and of course whole grain breads are what you should use for 24

LIVING OUT

The omega-3 fatty acids found in fish are important for the brain, but sending fish to school can be a challenge… unless it’s in the form of a tuna salad sandwich, and you prepare the tuna without all the mayo. Try using Greek yogurt or mashed avocado instead. And don’t forget the whole grain bread!

Nuts & seeds

Nuts and seeds are good sources of vitamin E, which enhance cognitive abilities. Add an ounce a day of any kind of nuts or nut butters such as peanut or almond butter. Raw is better than roasted, which means they will naturally come without salt and prevent an overload of sodium. An excellent “brain food” can be the traditional peanut butter and jelly sandwich… as long as you use a truly whole grain bread, natural sugar free peanut butter, and a jam that hasn’t been sweetened with anything other than fruit juice! Delicious!

Avocados Avocados are another good brain food, but since they are high in calories, you’ll want to stick to no more than half an avocado a day. Use it to make an all-natural guacamole dip, send it off with carrots, cucumbers or some all natural tortilla chips, and not only will your child have a healthy snack, but an enviable one!

Beans

Whoever says that eating healthy costs too much has yet to be introduced to beans. Beans are filling, healthy, and help stabilize blood sugar levels. Beans offer a consistent stream of energy to the body, vital for cognitive functioning. You can easily put a nice portion of black beans and brown rice or quinoa together in a cold salad, combine them with lettuce, spinach, and tomatoes, and wrap in a whole grain tortilla. Maybe even slather some of your homemade guacamole on there. Start feeding them foods like these, and your kids will be the smartest ones in the school! (Ah, I know they are already!)

Dark chocolate

YES! Okay, maybe you’ll want to save the chocolate for yourself. But send your kids with up to an ounce for a treat in the lunch box, too. Dark chocolate, at least 70%, is a triple threat: it’s packed with antioxidants and natural brain stimulants, and it stimulates the production of endorphins, which improve mood. So if a math test is coming up after lunch, it can certainly help to brighten your youngster’s attitude about it! It’s not on the list, but remember that a lifestyle including fresh air, exercise, and a good night’s sleep is critical to proper brain function… not just for your child, but for you, too.

About the author: Jennifer Nyx is a Holistic Health Coach and Personal Trainer dedicated to support her clients with their health goals and empower them to make lasting changes in their behavior and lifestyle. you can find her at nyxwellness.com

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25


living healthy

health

by oriol r. gutierrez, jr.

Positive Thoughts: Passing the Test

The anger I felt toward him in the first few years after I seroconverted was soon trumped by the experience of now being in his shoes. Not pretty. Rejection was everywhere. The stigma was stifling. I now understood.

Despite my late boyfriend not telling me the truth about his being HIV positive, I agreed not to use condoms with him. We both shared in that decision. I’m not alone. Much of why the epidemic continues can be explained by folks not knowing their status and transmitting HIV unintentionally, but also by couples who ditch condoms before they know for sure each is negative.

G

etting tested for HIV nowadays is a snap. In the era of over-thecounter rapid in-home testing, I’m befuddled why so many gay men, especially young guys, lack awareness of their HIV status.

I passed my first HIV test with flying colors: Negative. At the time, I had just turned 21 and boy was I psyched. I was cleared for duty, so to speak, as well as legal to drink. Watch out world, here I come.

I suppose part of the answer, at least for young guys, is plain old feelings of invincibility. All young and young-minded folks share in those feelings.

However, I was more careful this time around. Before that test, I hadn’t always adhered to the condom rule, although I knew the risks. Now that I was given this reprieve, I was determined not to squander it.

Perhaps, for some guys, not knowing gives them license to say they’re HIV negative, since for all they know they are. For others, perhaps not knowing insulates them from any potential pain of a positive result.

A year later, I failed my second HIV test: Positive. I found out the day after my 22nd birthday. My commanding officer in the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve read my diagnosis from a script. Cold, but tactful.

I could keep that list going, but the point is that countless reasons exist for not knowing. Many of those reasons may even seem reasonable. Well, I’m here to tell you that no reason you can come up with is a good one.

I knew the positive result was correct, but denial took over. I retested twice before accepting the reality of my situation. At that moment, I started believing that I was going to die before I turned 30.

Maybe you’re just a procrastinator. No matter. I’m a worldclass procrastinator myself. Procrastination isn’t a good reason. Being fine with getting tested in theory but delaying doing so in practice is only asking for trouble. Knowing your HIV status is crucial. If you test negative, you have incentive to stay that way. If you test positive, you can start the process of staying healthy. Better to know now than to be blindsided later. Although I’ve been living with HIV for more than two decades, I still remember what it’s like to get tested for the virus. The fear is understandable, but it shouldn’t stop you. Your health is paramount. 26

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It was 1992. Effective HIV treatment wouldn’t arrive until 1996 and AIDSrelated deaths were still increasing. The death of my boyfriend in 1994 only increased my fear that I wouldn’t live much longer. Fast-forward over two decades. Turns out I’m still here and I plan on being here for a long time. Failing that HIV test wasn’t the end of the world, but I must admit that I still wish that I had passed it. I’ve learned to live with HIV in my body, but the virus remains an unwelcome guest. If the cure for HIV was here tomorrow, I would quickly get in line. I have no romantic attachment to the virus. I also have no attachment to any resentment about getting HIV.

And I still understand. Little has changed when it comes to HIV stigma. Not only has the virus proven resistant to a cure, it also has resisted decades of attempts to eradicate the stigma surrounding it.

You could argue that my late boyfriend had a moral imperative to disclose his HIV status that was higher than my moral imperative to protect myself. Perhaps you could even be right. However, even after all this time, I still haven’t decided.

Strangely enough, I believe testing regularly for HIV would do wonders in stomping out stigma. If everyone did it, and did it often, folks would finally start feeling like it’s not so scary. Peer pressure at its best.

What I have decided, now having lived more than half of my life with HIV, is that I did the right thing for myself by forgiving him. I believe he never intended to transmit HIV, so forgiving him wasn’t too difficult for me.

Oriol R. Gutierrez Jr. is the editor-inchief of POZ magazine. Find him on Twitter @oriolgutierrez. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body and Q Syndicate, the LGBT wire service.

Know Your Status for you and your partners Free HIV and STD/STI Testing Available during drop-in hours and by appointment at all locations of The Long Island LGBT Community Center.

Drop-In Hours The Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury Every Thursday, 5-8pm

The Center at Bay Shore 34 Park Avenue, Bay Shore Every Wednesday, 5-8pm

The Hamptons LGBT Center 44 Union Street, Sag Harbor By Appointment

Free, quick, and confidential testing for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. For more information or to schedule an appointment, contact the HIV/STD Outreach and Testing Program at testing@lgbtnetwork.org or 631.665.2300 Nassau Center at Woodbury 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Suite 110 Woodbury, NY 11797 T 516.323.0011 F 516.750.4715

Suffolk West Center at Bay Shore 34 Park Avenue Bay Shore, NY 11706 T 631.665.2300 F 631.665.7874

Suffolk East The Hamptons LGBT Center 44 Union Street Sag Harbor, NY 11963 T 631.899.4950 F 631.665.7874

Queens Center at Little Neck 58-20 Little Neck Pkwy. Little Neck, NY 11362 T 516.323.0011 F 516.750.4715

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Quality Healthcare Services for Individuals with Special Needs and the Community at Large

Audiology *Dental *Dermatology *Endocrinology *Gynecology *Neurology Occupational Therapy *Optometry *Rehabilitative Medicine *Physical Therapy Podiatry *Primary Care *Psychiatry *Psychotherapy *Speech Therapy

Comprehensive and Caring Medical Services Lunchtime, Evening & Weekend Hours Medicare, Medicaid, and Some Major Health Insurance Plans Accepted Sliding Scale Available for those Eligible Most Credit Cards Accepted

Family Wellness Center

120 Plant Avenue  Hauppauge, NY 11788 Appointments: (631) 851-3810 www.familyres.org  fwcinfo@familyres.org

You are not alone, you are…FREE To Be FREE To Be is a community of men and women dedicated to socialization, advocacy, and education. We support a network that provides a safe environment to grow together. Socialization/Group Meetings FREE To Be provides an engaging space for GLBTQ individuals and friends, and we encourage all who are interested to come and join us. Meetings Include Inspirational guest speakers, workshops, open discussions, social events, and community involvement. Next Meeting Date: September 29, 2015 Time: 4:30pm to 6:00pm Location: FREE, 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road Old Bethpage, New York 11804

To learn more about FREE TO BE or to become a member, please contact us at freetobe@familyres.org Family Residences and Essential Enterprises, Inc. 191 Bethpage-Sweet Hollow Road l Old Bethpage, New York 11804 www.familyres.org l 516-870-1637

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at the East Hampton home of Dr. Robert Moraru and Steve Barnes

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19TH | 10 AM Give bullying the boot at “Boot Camp Against Bullying,” a special family-friendly fundraising event for the LGBT Network to support its Hamptons Center’s school and anti-bullying outreach and education. Proceeds from the Boot Camp Against Bullying benefit the LGBT Network and its Hamptons LGBT Center.

45-minute boot camp workout led by trainers from Equinox Fitness Club Complimentary towel and workout mat Registration is $50 in advance ($60 day of) Healthy breakfast provided by Babette’s of East Hampton

Register today by calling 516.323.0011 or visiting lgbtnetwork.org/bootcamp

Now at HRHCare A New Way to Prevent HIV If you are HIV negative and worry you might be at risk for HIV infection, find out if PrEP is a good choice for you.

1.844.HRH.Care www.hrhcare.org Call to make an appointment at one of our HRHCare Community Health Centers.

40

YEARS

Amityville • Coram • Greenport • Patchogue • Shirley • Southampton • Wyandanch Coming Soon: Brentwood and Riverhead

28

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living smart

recipes

Fall Family Favorites

Apple Raisin French Toast Strata

Pumpkin Turkey Chili

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

1 (1 lb.) loaf of cinnamon raisin bread, cubed 1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese, diced 1 cup peeled apples, diced

8 eggs 2 1/2 cups half-and-half cream 6 tablespoons butter, melted 1/4 cup maple syrup

Directions: 1.

2.

Coat a 9x13 inch baking dish with cooking spray. Arrange 1/2 of the cubed raisin bread in the bottom of the dish. Sprinkle the cream cheese evenly over the bread, and top with the apples. If you like extra raisins, add them now. Top with remaining bread. In a large bowl, beat the eggs with the cream, butter, and maple syrup. Pour over the bread mixture. Cover with plastic wrap, and press down so that all bread pieces are soaked. Refrigerate at least 2 hours.

3.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

4.

Bake 45 minutes in the preheated oven. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Tip: Aluminum foil can be used to keep food moist, cook it evenly, and make clean-up easier.

1 tablespoon vegetable oil 1 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper 1/2 cup chopped yellow bell pepper 1 clove garlic, minced 1 pound ground turkey

1 (14.5 oz.) can diced tomatoes 2 cups pumpkin puree 1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 dash salt 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1/2 cup sour cream

1.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat.

2.

Saute the onion, green bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and garlic until tender.

3.

Stir in the turkey, and cook until evenly brown.

4.

Drain, and mix in tomatoes and pumpkin. Season with chili powder, pepper, and salt.

5.

Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 20 minutes.

6.

Serve topped with Cheddar cheese and sour cream.

Tip: Put even more flavor to this dish by adding corn, black beans and green chilies.

Breaded Brussels Sprouts

Iced Pumpkin Cookies

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds Brussels Sprouts 1 teaspoon salt 4 tablespoons butter, melted

4 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese 4 tablespoons dried bread crumbs 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper 1/4 teaspoon seasoning salt

Directions: 1.

2.

3.

In a medium-size pot, cover Brussels sprouts with water; add 1 teaspoon salt and bring to boil. Cover and simmer for 6 minutes or until tender; drain. Be careful not to overcook sprouts. Place sprouts in a small casserole dish. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of melted butter over the sprouts and mix well to coat.Combine Parmesan cheese, dried bread crumbs, garlic powder, black pepper, seasoning salt, and remaining butter and mix well; sprinkle mixture over sprouts. Heat sprouts under broiler (about 4 inches away from heat) for about 5 minutes or until crumb mixture is lightly browned. Serve hot.

Tip: Use this recipe for other family favorite veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots.

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2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 1/2 cups white sugar 1 cup canned pumpkin puree

1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups confectioners’ sugar 3 tablespoons milk 1 tablespoon melted butter 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions: 1.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, and salt; set aside.

2.

In a medium bowl, cream together the 1/2 cup of butter and white sugar. Add pumpkin, egg, and 1 teaspoon vanilla to butter mixture, and beat until creamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Drop on cookie sheet by tablespoonfuls; flatten slightly.

3.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven. Cool cookies, then drizzle glaze with fork.

4.

To Make Glaze: Combine confectioners’ sugar, milk, 1 tablespoon melted butter, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add milk as needed, to achieve drizzling consistency.

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living smart

finance

saving money in college

For many of us, a college is something we may have experienced firsthand or know someone that has or will experience firsthand. Everything involving a college education costs money- food, textbooks, transportation, and even living expenses if you go away for college. This of course is in addition to your normal living expenses, such as paying bills, shopping, and leisure time. While these costs can add up, there are measures to take to help mitigate some of those costs.

food Expenses As a college student, food expenses can add up fairly quickly. The best thing to do is set up a weekly food budget and stick to it. If you have a campus meal plan, use the amount of your total plan, and divide it up by the number of weeks in the semester to determine your weekly spending limit. In doing this, you will be able to eat well throughout the semester, and won’t struggle with cheap eats during finals week.

College Expenses

One major expense college students have is textbooks. Most college students have to pay out-ofpocket for textbooks, but doing some research before shelling out the cash will help you save money. Try to look at off-campus bookstores or online to buy your textbooks, as it will be much cheaper than buying the book at the campus bookstore. Make sure when you do this however that you are buying the correct year/edition of the textbooks for your courses. Alternatively, the campus library will usually have a copy of the textbook on reserve for every course, so you could always use this as well (however, you may have to compete with other students for it). Once you’re done with your textbooks, if you will no longer need them, you can sell them to get back some of your money.

General Expenses While in school, we cannot neglect general daily expenses, such as bills and transportation. If you have a credit card, the best thing to do is only use it in an emergency, and always pay in full and on time. Always remember that there is a difference between wants and needs when you are making a purchase. Creating a budget will help you with managing your cash and your bills in general- if you happen to save some money and go under budget on a weekly or monthly basis, you will have a little extra you can use to treat yourself to something you want.

Another way college students can receive additional money is from scholarships. There are many scholarships offered from all different sources that students can take advantage of. Scholarships can be specific to a certain area of study, sport, ethnicity, and more. Visit your college’s financial aid office or website to see what they have to offer!

Opening a student checking account will also help with tracking your expenses. Most student accounts don’t require minimum monthly balances or charge you fees that regular accounts would. Transportation to and from class can add up to be expensive if you are not living on-campus. If you are off-campus, consider using public transportation or carpooling with friends as opposed to driving yourself. Most sources of public transportation will be free if you show your College ID.

For more information on ways to manage your finances, please visit livingoutli.org 30

LIVING OUT

Another big tip to help cut on food expenses are cutting down on daily specialty coffee drinks, smoothies, and other treats. While these treats are delicious, they are expensive and can add up to a hefty amount of cash on a weekly basis. Instead, you could always buy a coffee maker to make coffee in your dorm room, and then treat yourself out as a reward for doing well on an exam, project, etc. Last but not least, at the beginning of each semester, there are many clubs and activities on campus that may be recruiting. They will have general interest meetings (GIMs) where they may offer free food/drinks while attempting to recruit people. These meetings are a good way to meet new friends, look into clubs/activities you may be interested in, and save a little on your meal plan by getting some free food.

final money-saving tips One major cost most college students have is their cell phone bill. Be sure you are using a plan that is appropriate for how you use your phone; this alone can save you a decent amount of money. Getting a part-time job would be helpful on you earning some extra cash while you are in school; you can look for a job on-campus if there are any available. Last but not least, be creative with your leisure time! There are many things to do on-campus that are low-cost or completely free.

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31


BE DIFFERENT!

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The Space at Westbury, Long Island’s newest state of the art concert hall and special event center, is the perfect place to see your favorite stars and to stage your next special event.

Upcoming Attractions at The Space at Westbury

From corporate meetings to holiday parties, product launches to weddings, we welcome you to make The Space your space, the venue of your dreams. The Space was proud to be the Host Sponsor of the LGBT Network Spring Gala. For updates and information: www.thespaceatwestbury.com

* .9.!,&9 3- 3 :&11 $9 )-9,& -9% +!, 1&+93&.9

Make an appointment to Be Different. Call 516.283.5577 or email info@thespaceatwestbury.com ! 3 Ăą59/49D 9 3$4,6D ==BA ~ B=@;>CG;BB@@D 250 Post Avenue Westbury, NY 11590 nt to see The Space and reserve your dates www.thespaceatwestbury.com

B=@;>CG;BB F +, /0 3-9 " 9 3:9 3$4,6;)!. :::;3-9 " )9 3:9 3$4,6;)!. Attraction tickets available online at

Ticketmaster.com or charge by phone: 800-745-3000. Tickets can be purchased for all shows at the Box Office 2 hours before showtime.

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points of view

op-ed

by rev. irene monroe

black women, gay men Suffering at the hands of police Media attention has focused on the mistreatment of AfricanAmerican men by police, but black women — and all minorities — are suffering too.

For many African-American women, like myself, Sandra Bland’s death, possibly resulting from police brutality, doesn’t feel like news. The national attention it’s receiving is, however.

The reality of unarmed AfricanAmerican women being beaten, profiled, sexually violated, and murdered by law enforcement officials with alarming regularity is too often ignored — especially with the focus of police brutality on African-American males. My wife, who would drive her BMW to and from work, was often stopped by police for the classic offense of “driving while black.” She now takes the bus or walks to work as much as she can because of the constant shakedowns. A new report and campaign called “Say Her Name” addresses the lack of reporting, documenting, and accounting for the violations and deaths of African-American women and girls at the hand of law enforcement officials.

Just last July, California Highway Patrol Officer Daniel Andrew was caught on video beating 51-year-old Marlene Pinnock. With Andrew straddling Pinnock on the ground and pummeling her with his fist, Pinnock told CBS News, “He was trying to beat me to death … take my life away. For no reason. I did nothing to him.” While it’s not shocking that African-American women are arrested more often than white

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women in any given city across the country, what is shocking is the rate at which we are. A new report from the Center on Criminal and Juvenile Justice reveals that while AfricanAmerican women in San Francisco make up approximately 5.8 percent of the city’s female population, they represent 47 percent of female arrests. And these arrests too often result in death.

The perceptions and stereotypes of African American women can lead to deadly repercussions. African-American sisters like Rekia Boyd (March 2012, Chicago), Kimberlee ­Randle-King (September 2014, St. Louis), and Natasha McKenna (April 2015, Fairfax County, Va.), to name just a few, are lives cut too short at the hands of law enforcement officials. While the country was reeling from the news of Bland’s death of July 13, 18-year-old Kindra Chapman of Alabama was found dead in her jail cell the following day.

Oddly, the deaths of RandleKing, Bland, and now Chapman are all explained away as “selfinflicted asphyxiation,” though black women are the least likely group to commit suicide in prison even though they are the largest

demographic group of females incarcerated.

The perceptions and stereotypes of African American women — combative, mouthy, angry — can lead to deadly repercussions. Bland’s crime is what’s described as “contempt of cop.” She wasn’t obsequious or subservient enough when the officer asked her to extinguish her cigarette. And for something as minor as a traffic signal violation, the incident spiraled out of control. But when the dominant culture doesn’t see and hear AfricanAmerican voices speak about our pains, fears, or vulnerabilities, our humanity made invisible through a prism of racist and sexist stereotypes. So too is our suffering.

When Bland was found hanging from a noose made of plastic bags in her Waller County, Texas, jail cell, the coroner’s report corroborated the claim stating there were no obvious signs of such a violent struggle. But like Bland’s family and friends, I too cry out foul play. And it’s because of Waller County’s long and prideful history of keeping blacks in their place, including lynching. If Bland did not in fact commit suicide, then clearly it was a lynching. The Equal Justice Initiative states that Waller County saw some of the highest

rates of African-Americans lynchings in Texas between 1877 and 1950. The memory of family and friends lynched still lives on in the collective oral history of Waller County’s AfricanAmericans. “In this county, they’ve been hanging and killing Negroes since the Civil War,” an old buddy of Bland’s, Holice Cook, told The Washington Post.

Just two hours south of Waller County, a gay man, Jesse Jacobs, 32, died while in custody at the Galveston County Jail. While serving a 30-day DUI sentence, Jacobs was deliberately denied his Xanax medication for anxiety. By the time Jacobs was rushed to the hospital after suffering a seizure — something common for those forced to abruptly go off Xanax — he was dead on arrival. With the number of LGBTQ people and African-Americans battered or killed while detained in police custody now being reported with regularity, the abuse at the hands of law enforcement officials has sadly not abated. Places like Waller and Galveston counties remind us that no minority group is immune to police brutality. With the recent deaths of Randle-King, Chapman, Bland, and now Jacobs, there’s a pattern evolving, one in which lynching remains alive and well in this country. LIVING OUT

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points of view trans-missions

by gwendolyn Ann smith

On the 19th of August, the National Center for Transgender Equality launched a nation-wide survey on the lives of transgender people. This is their second such survey, and is billing this as a follow-up to a previous survey they did in conjunction with the National LGBTQ Task Force. That survey was released in 2011 under the title Injustice At Every Turn.

The 2011 report has been an amazing tool for transgender activists – and while its findings were of little surprise, this was the first time we had a pretty comprehensive survey to back us up. The report listed the following as its key findings:

Discrimination was pervasive, but the combination of anti-transgender bias and persistent, structural racism was especially devastating. People of color in general fared worse than white participants across the board, with African American transgender respondents faring far worse than all others in most areas examined.

Their sample population – some 6,400 respondents – was nearly four times more likely to have a household income of less than $10,000/year compared to the general population. 41% of respondents reported attempting suicide compared to 1.6% of the general population, with rates rising for those who lost a job due to bias (55%), were harassed/bullied in school (51%), had low household income, or were the victim of physical assault (61%) or sexual assault (64%). The “41%” suicide statistic, I believe, has been reported more than any other in the report.

It is the numbers in these statistics that have been used to improve federal protections for transgender people, helping to push organizations like the Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Department of Health and Human Services to take action on behalf of transgender people. For decades before that study, actual numbers relating to the transgender community were near impossible to find. Aside from the reluctance of transgender people to actually participate in such, there were not any major organizations willing to spearhead such an effort – and no 34

LIVING OUT

one willing to front the money for any serious medical studies, to boot.

This is also one of the things that makes the previous and upcoming studies important: they’re by us, and for us, and about us. They’re not put through the lens of non-transgender society. We have our own agency.

It is a survey for trans people of all stripes, including those who identify as genderqueer or non-binary. You are needed.

As I mentioned, it’s not like anyone with any ties to the community could not have spoken to some of these issues before the report. One could see how pervasive suicide has been in the transgender community, how much of the community was forced into poverty, and just how bad the combination of racism and transphobia affected people in the transgender community.

of survey respondents reported attempting suicide* I should add, too, that this study would typically only give cold, hard data. It does not put a face on that data. It does not replace sharing our own stories when we can. Yet as important as it is one thing to share our individual stories, it is quite another thing to be able to share a sizable study covering thousands of such stories. The more who speak out, the more we can show the overall depth of the issues we face, the strong a case we can make for change.

Another important thing this provides is a sense of the size of our community. Now I’m not going to contend that in 2011 the transgender community in the United States was a mere 6,400 people. That would simply not be the case – but this does give more of a sense of the scope of the issues. This is a subset of the community that was able to participate at that time. This did help

were the victims of sexual assault*

to show that transgender people exist all over the country, that this weren’t just issues for big, coastal towns, but for everywhere.

That is what both the 2011 report and the new study both provide.

For this study, the National Center for Transgender Advocacy is hoping that 20,000 transgender people will pledge to take the survey. Let me also clarify something about the survey for anyone who might me wondering: this is not just for

transgender-identified people. It is a survey for trans people of all stripes, including those who identify as genderqueer or non-binary. You are needed.

Now a small dose of cold water: I cannot tell you what impact the new survey will have. The previous one came out during a very sympathetic administration, and used the study to help press for change on our behalf. By the time the upcoming study comes out, we will most likely have a different resident in the White House. We won’t know for sure if that new resident will be as sympathetic, particularly if they come form the right side of the aisle. Yet even with that in mind, consider that all the more reason to take this survey. This is what can still help to inform people about our lives, and will allow people to continue to push for their rights for many years to come, whether the administration is sympathetic or otherwise. We need this.

So please take a moment to hop on your computer or smart phone and point yourself to ustranssurvey.org. Gwen Smith has, of course, pledged. You’ll find her on Twitter at @gwenners. *According to the 2011 Injustice At Every Turn survey by the National LGBTQ Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality.

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Exciting Career Opportunities! Grow at the LGBT Network and make a difference in the lives of LGBT Long Islanders Open Positions Linkage to Care Coordinator (F/T)

LGBT Community Educator (F/T)

Development Assistant (F/T)

Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth, Inc. (LIGALY) is seeking a full-time Linkage to Care Coordinator to be based at The Center at Bay Shore with responsibilities throughout Long Island, primarily in Suffolk County. The Linkage to Care Coordinator will provide Early Intervention Services (EIS) to individuals recently diagnosed with HIV to link them to care, and ensure retention in care and medical adherence. Will Identify and engage gay and bisexual men and transgender individuals who are unaware of their HIV status and link to care and treatment; Preferred qualifications include: Bachelor’s degree in human services, social work, public health, or other related field required, or equivalent work experience; Master’s degree in Social Work (MSW) with counseling experience preferred; experience employing evidence-based interventions with people living with HIV/AIDS to help counsel and engage individuals into treatment. Please see website for full description & requirements.

Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) has an immediate opening for a LGBT Community Educator to deliver Community Education and Training Services to create safer, more supportive affirming spaces for LGBT people. Deliver a variety of anti-bullying and LGBT cultural competency workshops and trainings to a variety of audiences, including: students, educators, law enforcement, parents and foster parents, child welfare agencies, and other health and human service providers; Assist with curriculum development; Conduct outreach to a range of health and human service providers to establish and/or develop relationships. Qualifications: Bachelors degree required, in social work, education or related field preferred; minimum of 1 year experience working in the human services field; commitment to and knowledge of the LGBT community; strong presentation skills a must; excellent written and oral communication skills. Please see website for full description & requirements.

The LGBT Network is seeking a full-time Development Assistant at the Center at Woodbury. TThe Development Assistant will primarily serve as the fundraising database manager, while also providing special event coordination, and administrative and operations support for a fast-paced comprehensive development and fundraising department. Bachelor’s degree required; minimum 2 years experience with database management, with preferred experience in non-profit development and fundraising and/ or using Salesforce; enthusiastic, accurate, and extremely detail-oriented; strong oral and written communication skills; self-starter, highly motivated, ability to work both individually and as part of a team. Please see website for full description & requirements.

Apply Online at: lgbtnetwork.org/careers

TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER MOST. At MassMutual Long Island Metro, we understand the unique financial needs of the LGBT community and can help you build financial strategies to ensure your loved ones are protected. For more than 160 years, MassMutual has helped policyowners on their quest for financial freedom.

T

Natalia M. Zimnoch Financial Services Representative MassMutual Long Island Metro 631-579-9469 nzimnoch@financialguide.com www.financialguide.com/Natalia-Zimnoch Offices in both Nassau & Suffolk.

LIFE INSURANCE + RETIREMENT/401(K) PLAN SERVICES + DISABILITY INCOME INSURANCE LONG TERM CARE INSURANCE + ANNUITIES

MassMutual Financial Group refers to Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Co. (MassMutual), its affiliated companies and sales representatives. Local sales agencies are not subsidiaries of MassMutual or its affiliated companies. As of May 18, 2015, MassMutual received a 100% score on the Human Rights Commission’s Corporate Equality Index and was named a Best Places to Work. Insurance products are issued by MassMutual, Springfield, MA 01111, and its subsidiaries, C.M. Life Insurance Company and MML Bay State Life Insurance Company, Enfield, CT 06082. CRN201706-173276

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LIVING OUT

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National Coming Out Day 2015

Wear the ribbon show your support Nassau: Center at Woodbury | 20 Crossways Park Dr. N., Ste. 110 | Woodbury, NY 11797 Suffolk West: Center at Bay Shore | 34 Park Avenue | Bay Shore, NY 11706 Suffolk East: Hamptons LGBT Center | 44 Union Street | Sag Harbor, NY 11963 Queens: Center at Little Neck | 58-20 Little Neck Pkwy. | Little Neck, NY 11362 PROGRAMS@LIGALY.ORG // LIGALY.ORG // FACEBOOK.COM/LIGAYYOUTH // TWITTER.COM/LGBTNETWORKNY // INSTAGRAM.COM/LGBTNETWORK


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