This poetry collection is the work of young people in the Newport area who worked with poet and performer Rufus Mufasa in a series of creative workshops to explore and raise awareness of mental health issues. This project, which provided a platform for young people to express themselves and have their voices heard, was delivered in partnership between Literature Wales, Newport Libraries and Newport Mind. Strong communication skills and aspirations for young people will help positively change the futures of our communities, and the publication of this pamphlet is an important example of how creativity can help change lives. Literature Wales is the National Company for the development of the literature art-form in Wales. Our mission is to inspire communities, develop writers, and celebrate Wales’ literary culture by: increasing the accessibility and impact of creative writing for participants in Wales; enabling early career writers to engage with opportunities to hone and diversify their skills; and strengthening the range, reach and reputation of Wales’ writers. This will deliver a Wales where literature empowers, improves and brightens lives. Through our literature in health and wellbeing initiatives we particularly work with participants who are socially and economically marginalised such as prisoners, young carers, asylum seekers and mental health service users. www.literaturewales.org
Newport Mind is a mental health charity. We believe no one should have to face a mental health problem alone. We’re here for you. Today. Now. Whether you’re stressed, depressed or in crisis. We’ll listen, give support and advice, and fight your corner. We have a number of services for people living in Newport. For young people, aged 11 to 25, we have a number of different services. These include recovery-focused individual support, self-management courses, peer mentor support, and individual support for young people undergoing transitions (such as changing schools, starting college, or moving to adult mental health services). We also have volunteering opportunities with our #changeit campaign and our peer mentor training. www.newportmind.org Newport Libraries are committed to promoting good health and wellbeing, with dedicated book collections and information leaflets, shared reading groups, autism friendly library times, plus coffee and chat sessions. www.newport.gov.uk/libraries
1. He carried you a person with a face you recognise but a face you didn’t know. You trusted your weight in his arms Where he was taking you. But now you’re abandoned Lost in space
without direction.
He still orbits your circles that blurred face you can’t recall but it would be easier if he wasn’t present at all His absence would allow me to move in my own
direction.
2.
Two pictures, one person One is outside appearance. The other feels trapped Inside a glass prison we call society. Neither can ever show emotion Weakness carries a stench.
3. In story, film and book “normal� family upbringing plays a big part. They say that there is no racial tensions but I could tell you some stories.
4. There I found… a special group of people eyes that met mine, that didn’t pierce a space I could call my own, be unashamed to occupy. There I found baby steps, now I stride wide and I can challenge the bullies in my mind. Progress, patience, purpose - patterns are changing. There I found plasters, and learnt that one size doesn’t fit all and they asked for my opinion, it mattered, moved things forward. They believed my feelings, but saw so much more. I never thought I’d find this place. There I found yoga mats and warmth, hot teas and welsh cakes I’m more than a tick in a box, more than a statistic. More than an invisible illness, to think I wanted to end it, to think that I thought I didn’t matter – I’m so glad they thought I did! There I found a community that didn’t kick peers that didn’t sneer. There I found that I wasn’t the only one, they approached me holistically and things became clear.
5.
Soiled soul, soiled hands, heavy heart I learnt to like the taste of tears, bruises a camouflage Internal battles try to consume me Every knock down harder to get back up. They try to censor the SOS Sunglasses for the smoke signals Rejections, deflections, successes All carry the same riddles Do you think I’m no good? Depends on what day you ask me Nursing my inner child, battling the demons I’m trying to become a better me.
6. Five years of struggle, slow progress the regression I return to my comfort zone, my old friend – depression. Tiresome to push forward, so many failed groups and closed doors Nobody to turn to, nowhere safe to go. Couldn’t live like that forever, something had to change Little did I know I had the strength within. Not a straightforward recovery, still a recluse Inviting me out, I already have an excuse. Slow improvement, one foot in front of the other No looking back, can’t live a life with insomnia. Never ending cycle, willing it to stop Everyday exhausting, the fighting non-stop, momentum can’t flop. A point in the right direction from an unexpected source Mrs Chandler, I never would have thought. A referral, for me from me, the best gift I ever gave A meeting arranged, sceptical, so many have failed. As the day of the meeting approaches, the anxiety doesn’t fade I think about backing out – “sorry I mixed up my days”. But I cannot, this may be my last shot Restless, on edge, “is this like the other groups” plan to boycott. The day arrived, one to one discussion Thinking I would sit unspoken, overpowered by emotion. But I did not lapse, even started to relax Talking flat out, an hour fast tracked. They invite me to a group next week – Wow, that quick! Run by young people, somewhere I can fit. I had good days and bad, that’s to be expected But it was my space to go without feeling rejected. And 18 months later, still blushful but more confident than ever Who would have foreseen this big change, I’ll be grateful forever. This is just the beginning…
7. How to practice… Take in the details Perception is the feel of closed eyes Help you notice yourself and sensations… Nervousness causes memory failure. What’s next for you? Choose your own adventure Rise above the crowd Don’t be neck deep in your sleeping soul And the black gold and the nicotine pretty. Hand on my heart I can truly say I long to gain A deeper liberation of my mind.