Bliss Babies Magazine Quarterly April 2018

SPRING / 2018

THE BIRTH OF BLISS BABIES

STORK BABY BOUTIQUE

DADS

ARE PARENT'S, TOO

S u r ro g a c y | A d o p t ion | C u s to d y Family Law Attorneys in Reno, Nevada, devoted to promote healthy families in the context of adoption, custody and navigating through gestational surrogacy.

Protec ting Y our F amily is O u r

First Step.

RE N O: 7 75.636 .8200 | info@sur ratt l aw. co m | l aw ye rsfor famil i es.com

Favorite baby lines by

Chez Vous Boutique in Reno at Plumgate

Jelly Cat Plush: Collectors from all over call for their latest, cutest, and greatest stuffed animals, with correlating heart-felt stories for young toddlers and children.

Terry Plush Hooded bath and beach towels by Zoocchini: Modeled by our customer, Cami Rowe’s son, Peyton Rowe.

Baby and Toddler clothing by Mud Pie is always a huge hit. Adorned with popular children’s animals, holiday motifs, sports, and animals we all love. Baseball outfit modeled by Cami’s son, Atlas Rowe.

Mud Pie specializes in the cutest holiday outfits for babies and toddlers along with infant photo shoot outfits.

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MAY & JUNE 2017

BLISSBABE.COM

I N

T H I S

I S S U E

BUSINESS 06 STORK BABY BOUTIQUE

SPOTLIGHT 10 THE BIRTH OF BLISS BABIES

FAMILY MAKING 14 WHY I CHOSE TO FREEZE MY EGGS 16 SINGLE INTENDED PARENT

KEEPSAKE 18 JOHN LLOYD AND CAPTURED IMAGES

PARENTING 20 THE HUNGER GAMES: TODDLER EDITION 22 DADS ARE PARENT'S, TOO

On the cover Model: Amanda Williams Photographer: Jerrine Plunket, I Deux Photography Hair and Makeup: Amanda Brooke Otuafi

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C O N T R I B U T O R S

KI M S URRATT Founder

LESLIE MCCAR RO LL

P U B L I S H E R

Co-Founder/Publisher

DE B B IE M C CARTHY

Co-Founder /Director of Editorial

E M ILY REESE Editor-in-Chief

N O T E

We couldn’t be more excited to be able to share with you our premier issue of Bliss Babies Magazine Quarterly. I think I can speak on behalf of our entire team, it’s like being new parents all over again, with the exception of labor pains!

Conception started with a glass of wine on a Friday night between friends, with laughter, chemistry, good food, creative concepts...then ultimately a YES! to a new idea for a magazine. We would bring this to life and engage an untapped demographic that is infinite, while constantly keeping up with the advances in technology. No, this isn’t your typical parent and baby magazine! We won’t be talking about how to lose that last 30 pounds of baby fat or how to make the perfect snacks and crafts.

FOR ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES PLEASE CALL 775-338-8837

Bliss Babies Magazine is a new exciting niche publication that caters to: new moms and dads, surrogacy, IFV Treatment, hipster babies, edgy mommy and daddy photography, same sex parenting, hot and NSFW topics, parenting trends, surviving parenthood, self-care, maintaining your identity, and honoring your wild side while bringing up beautiful children that will make the world a better place.

We hope you fall in love with Bliss Babies Magazine as much as we have and we hope to be your prime source of everything that parenthood didn’t prepare you for!

PUBLISHER Leslie McCarroll

Yours Truly, Leslie McCarroll

LAYOUT: Design on Edge

Publisher and Co-Founder/Bliss Babies Magazine Publisher and Founder/Bliss Babe Magazine Leslie@BlissBabe.com

O U R COURTNEY MEREDITH COURTNEY ORCHOWSKI TUCKER MONTICELLI CHRIS MEREDITH JORJA BENTLEY DAVID BRADFIELD RENO DADS TRACIE CAMBELL

DEANA CHRISTY MEGHAN OCHS AMANDA OTUAFI TINA KIM HO LYNN MARIE KREMERS BRITTON MURDOCK NUNN KATHLEEN & DON HANLEY ERIN MEYERING

T E A M MIKE MCDOWELL DANELL WILSON- PERLMAN JERRINE PLUNKET ASHLEY POLAN TONY & TRICIA SHELL CINNAMON STEINHARDT ALYSSA STARR CHRIS STANTON

NICK STANTON MEG STEINITZ AMANDA WILLIAMS WHOLE FOODS

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BUSINESS

- Mimi Canfield, Owner

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Stork Baby Boutique sources distinct items for both mom & baby

By Erin Meyering Photo Jerrine Plunket, I Deux Photography

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BUSINESS

The search is always on to find the most adorable onesie, special gift a new mama doesn’t yet have, or find yourself the most natural (and effective) stretch mark cream. Finding those items that you simply adore, and will be adored ten times over, can be challenging.

Stork Baby Boutique in Reno makes the hunt for great baby products a bit easier.

The Beginnings of Baby Mimi Canfield and her mom Debbie created the 198-square-foot store three years ago when they saw a community need. The two own Larkellen, also in Arlington Gardens shopping center, which is a home goods and gifts store. When people would venture into Larkellen to buy baby gifts, the Canfield’s decided to devote a storefront to the idea.

“I truly feel what you put into the community, the community gives back,” Mimi said of sourcing and purchasing local.

Conscious Sourcing Mimi admits that one of the best parts of her job is learning the story behind each product she brings in. For her, she’s able to support small businesses and provide items you may not find in large box stores.

There are several Reno-made products such as Sweet Mae Baby Goods’ teething toys, State 36 Clothing’s NV onesies, and The Back Lot’s high-fashion clothing.

Picturesque Products Walk in the store to find a wonderland of beautiful and soft pastels.

You’ll find a variety of items to peruse including clothing (for babes up to 24 months), tummy butter, cards, diaper bags, books, and more.

The store also has more uncommon items such as Ready to Pop nonalcoholic champagne, Baby’s Butt candles, and pregnancy tea which helps with breast milk production.

It just so happens that Mimi herself is expecting! “I’ve probably brought in more products for moms since I became pregnant,” Mimi said. Mimi’s first baby is due in June. Her newborn son is sure to be dressed to the nines.

Stork Baby Boutique 606 W Plumb Lane, Reno • 775-825-5033 Find Stork Baby Boutique on Facebook and Instagram

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BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BE REMEMBERED.

BLISSBABE.COM C O N TA C T U S @ B L I S S B A B E . C O M

BUSINESS

BY EMILY REESE

THE BIRTH OF BLISS BABIES: SPOTLIGHT ON KIM SURRATT, ESQ.

BY EMILY REESE PHOTO JERRINE PLUNKET ­­– I DEUX PHOTOGRAPHY

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Amazing ideas often happen at the most normal of times. Taking a shower, waking up in the middle of the night, driving down the road, having a glass of wine with friends—million dollar ideas can pop into our noggins anytime. For the founder of Southwest Airlines, for the originator of Iron Man competition, and for the author of the Harry Potter series, birthing ideas during social time over a pint or two was the beginning of something great.

The same goes for Leslie McCarroll, founder of Bliss Babe Magazine, and Kim Surratt, attorney and family formation advocate: the very publication you are reading now was set into motion over a couple of glasses of vino. In Bliss Babies, the perfect combination of expertise, class, real-world family formation, and parenting fall together into one magazine. Kim Surratt, who is spearheading this publication brand, is a woman full of accomplishments that very few know about because she has been behind the scenes, making all types of parenting possible for people in Nevada and around the world.

Without the heart and soul that Kim has put in over the last 15 years through her work with family formation, Bliss Babies wouldn’t exist.

An Attorney with a Heart for Others It started years ago.

Kim Surratt may not have been born in Nevada, but she’s lived here most of her life, growing up with Nevada values that closely mirror the independent nature of this great state. Her father, involved in mining, gave her opportunities to understand the benefits of hard work that are important to Nevadans—including a passion for the outdoors and enjoying the spacious areas that Winnemucca and the state of Nevada have to offer.

After graduating from high school, she expanded her horizons by attending the University of Puget Sound to study liberal arts, which gave her the unique opportunity to work with the LGBT community.

She found herself involved with a group of nurses who ran a peer education group teaching leaders how to educate citizens about HIV, AIDS, and STD prevention. “This got me involved with the LGBT community really fast, and from there, it never stopped,” remembers Kim. As she finished her degree through the University of Nevada Reno, she originally intended to have a career reflecting her sociology and psychology degree, but turned her sights to becoming an attorney.

After obtaining her J.D. through Golden State University in San Francisco, she began working in the area of insurance defense. This left her feeling disenfranchised by the frivolity of claims cases; people’s motivations were disappointing her in her current field.

While she initially balked at the idea of doing any kind of family law, she changed her tune. One of the things that helps her in family law is being able to understand the motivations behind the what and why people do, say, and think when it comes to individual cases. “Things like the love for their children and their heart often lead my clients’ motivations, even if it can sometimes be misguided and petty. At least it makes sense and I can appreciate the why behind what they do,” explains Kim. Family law for Kim does not strictly mean divorce cases; solely litigating divorce cases was too difficult for her and she wanted variety.

Her move from insurance defense to family law was the right choice, especially with her background in working with the LGBT

community in college; in fact, her very first case involved two gay men using surrogacy to expand and complete their family. Kim learned quickly the ropes of adoption and family planning and realized that laws needed to change so that all of those involved in “unique” family expansion are protected. She found herself faced with helping to change those laws, which has led her to be one of the premier family planning lawyers in the state of Nevada, the United States, and the international community.

Changing Laws to Help All People Expand Their Families In 2005, while lobbying at the legislature with the Nevada Trial Lawyers Association (now the Nevada Justice Association), Kim’s friend and mentor, Myra Sheehan, encouraged her to lobby for better laws, specifically for those whose family creation wasn’t “traditional.”

“Myra kept telling me I need to lobby, and I didn’t know a thing about it. She told me, ‘I promise you one day it will pay off. You’ll reap the benefits of this.’ Myra set a wonderful example by lobbying for prior social justice in Nevada, which is part of the reason she wanted me to get involved. She wanted me to look back on my life and be able to say that I was a part of something really great.”

So she dove in.

Since then, using her unique ability to work with conservative and liberal legislators alike, Kim has helped affect many changes to the Nevada Revised Statutes (NRS) while avoiding partisan conflict. She reflects, “I am pretty fiscally conservative; the Nevada mining girl in me brings that out. I am socially liberal, so ultimately, I make a really good independent.”

The accolades she deserves for these changes are often not recognized publicly, mostly because Kim prefers to work quietly behind the scenes. The following descriptions of accomplishments she has played a part in reflect some of the major things that have helped her clients and others around the world benefit from when expanding their family.

Not only did Kim help pass the domestic partnership laws in Nevada in 2009, but she also played a major hand in updating all NRS language to be gender neutral this past legislative session. For instance, older alimony chapters of the NRS included husband-centric language; she helped to change this so it would incorporate language that was for all parties involved in the dissolution of marriage.

However, it is her influence on surrogacy and parentage laws that have been the most powerful and far-reaching.

With surrogacy, older NRS reflected language that only included men and sperm donation, not updated scientific technology of egg or embryo donation. Getting to influence the new language has added clarity to the process that was desperately needed. The old law only allowed for sperm donation to a married woman if the donor didn’t want to have parental rights, which negatively affected single or unmarried people having children through surrogacy. The newer NRS

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BUSINESS included egg and embryo donations to all families, regardless of marital status and made it clear that the donor would not have parental rights.

In addition, surrogacy contract requirements were updated. The new laws require both sides (parents and surrogate) to be represented by an attorney. The intended parents were almost always represented under older systems, but the surrogate mother often wasn’t, leaving the door wide open for possible abuse. Not so anymore: aside from newly required representation of both parties, a contract must be in place before medical proceedings start.

Establishing legal parentage is another one of the updates that Kim has been able to accomplish.

Historically, the legal birth certificate signed inhospital was exclusive to one woman and the man who claimed paternity, causing an unnecessary roadblock for same-sex couples. The language was changed to not only reflect “paternity”; it now says “paternity/parentage.” This allows, as an example, for a lesbian couple to not have to go through a lengthy and expensive adoption process to claim parentage. To clarify, this birth certificate may not be recognized in every U.S. state. Until all states are on the same page with this issue, Kim recommends going through the adoption process to alleviate any issues when moving from state to state. While the change in language on the birth certificate may not be perfect, Kim thinks it’s still a great way to move forward.

Kim has seen many changes happen in the world of fertility, adoption, surrogacy, and parentage. While just a decade ago there may have been pushback from legislators, Kim says that “most legislators know someone who has had infertility problems or 12

Spring 2018 / Blissbabies.com

know someone who is gay; so now they have a much harder time being so openly conservative about it.”

Laws that protect transgender people have become easier and easier to pass. Thankfully, Kim has been able to see the promise that Myra Sheehan made to her come to fruition: as an attorney, she has been able to reap the benefits of her hard lobbying work—and so have her clients.

New inclusive family-expansion laws have led to Kim helping clients from all over the United States, including many countries overseas. In this issue, you will read about some of those families whom she has helped achieve their family dreams; Kim should be commended for all of the work she has done and will continue to do for parenting in our modern world.

Bliss Babies was Born Knowing Kim Surratt’s background and heart for people trying to build their families, it makes sense that a conversation over wine with Leslie McCarroll birthed the idea and called attention to the need for Bliss Babies. They discussed what was lacking in other parenting and family magazines, and knew they had an impactful concept that needed to be pursued. After that evening, Kim was so engrossed and committed to sharing with others and helping families, that she bought the domain rights to Bliss Babies before she went to bed that night.

Many parenting and family magazines tend to focus on the traditional ways that families are formed and nurtured. The realities of modern day families are often glossed over as a novelty experience; fortunately, Kim knows that these modern issues of family planning are much more common than

they may seem. Kim and Leslie want to be an encouragement to every type of parent and family.

Bliss Babies’ mission is to be a publication that dissects the path (or lack thereof ) to parenthood.

This publication will empower people who are parents to be honest about their journey and not hide from the bare, genuine truth. Being a parent can be raw, deep, sincere, painful, and fulfilling, all at the same time; this publication will give people an opportunity to explore these feelings and grow through topics such as childbirth, fatherhood, infertility, discipline, surrogacy, adoption, anxiety and more.

As you read through this issue, the heartfelt and real-world stories from our talented contributors will give you insights to help you understand families from all walks of life. One thing that Bliss Babies will not be afraid of is sharing the aspects of family life that will speak to all people, not just parents. It will be bold and reassuring; all families are unique, but each one adds to the beauty of life and binds us together in supporting the goodness of humanity.

This is the heart of Kim Surratt. She desires to help others add to the beauty of life through their family.

Her work has led her to support the goodness of humanity and her life experience has reflected the mission behind Bliss Babies, birthed one fateful evening over a couple glasses of wine.

Surratt Law Practice is a full service surrogacy, estate planning and family law firm that can be found at lawyersforfamilies.com

WANTING TO ADOPT A CHILD OR USE A SURROGATE IN NEVADA?

Eric A. Stovall is an experienced Nevada adoption attorney that can address any of your adoption needs for parental rights issues, surrogacy, mediation, termination of parental rights as well as legal matters in business litigation and personal injury. Please contact us for a free consultation.

As a Reno adoption attorney & surrogacy lawyer, Stovall answers your parental rights & family law questions, including costs, pros and cons, contracts & more.

RENO OFFICE

200 Ridge Street, Suite 222 • Reno, Nevada 89501-2014

(775) 337-1444 • nevadaadoptionlawyer.com 8AM - 4PM, Monday - Friday

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3303 Novat St., Ste. 200, Las Vegas, Nevada 89129 | 702-823-4900 katherine@kainenlawgroup.com

FA M I LY M A K I N G

WHY I CHOSE TO FREEZE MY EGGS MY PERSONAL INSURANCE POLICY

BY MEGHAN OCHS

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Anyone who has ever met me, even briefly, knows I am not much of a planner. Details often allude me and long-term thinking is not how I prefer to live. I favor a lifestyle of living in the moment, but planning for the future, only if you find it convenient to do so. One area though, of which I continually make an exception, is insurance. I am a huge proponent of insurance, in both policy and theory. I am also pro-choice, as in, I love having many.

This line of thinking applied to my reproductive health two years ago when I found myself unexpectedly single at 31 and realized I was leaning toward, more so than ever, having a family in the future. It was then I realized that maybe for once I should plan ahead and evaluate my options.

I was not at the time, nor am I still, ready to have a child. Additionally, I have never been dead set on having a biological child; I have always been a huge advocate for adoption as I have many family members who were adopted or who were raised in an orphanage. However, on the off chance I decided—or a potential partner and I decided—to have a biological child, I concluded I also wanted the biological option. The early thirties are an ideal time to freeze one’s eggs, or undergo Egg Cryopreservation (as the process is formally named). At this age, biologically speaking, most women’s eggs are still quite viable and in abundance. I knew doing so would give me exactly what I wanted; a full array of options in the future.

The decision was easy; the logistics, for me personally, were less so. I committed to this procedure long before my life actually allowed me to do so. Activating one's biological clock and removing one's product is not a simple process. It requires time, money, and physical discomfort, along with some personal sacrifice. The process, from first consultation to last follow up, took me fifteen months due to my work and travel schedule, as well as the physical nature of my career outside of writing. During the cycle, there is a one month period where any sort of physical activity is not allowed.

Scheduling around that was not easy for me.

Realistically, the cycle could be completed in approximately two months, not including the consultation and medical exams needed prior to the process commencing and after its completion. Additionally, the medications, appointments, examinations, and actual egg removal procedure do not come at a cheap cost. The entire process cost me well over $10,000. There are also yearly costs incurred to keep my eggs frozen. That is an expensive insurance policy.

Lastly, the process came at a personal and physical expense. I exercise daily and travel

often. I had to take a hard break from these things once I started on the medications.

Due to both my hiatus from physical activity, as well as the medications, there was significant weight gain. My body was swollen, full, and I had a rather colorful abdomen due to all of the needle pokes. My withdrawal from the physical activities I love impacted me mentally and emotionally.

While I have yet to use my eggs, and may never do so in the end, I now find it comforting that I underwent this procedure, just in case. My body reacted extremely well and I froze a very large number of mature eggs. I am grateful for the health, wellbeing, and responsiveness of my body. Despite the inconveniences, which were relatively minor, I am incredibly thankful that I had the time, resources, and flexibility to do so. I realize that many women are not so fortunate.

In the present moment, I know I am tremendously privileged to have executed this option. However, looking back on my particular situation prior to starting this procedure almost two years ago, there was a part of me that almost felt ashamed and embarrassed. Given my personal circumstances, and the various expectations still put on women in our society, I felt that I was, in some way, still failing. I had just turned 31, was no longer married, had no children, and was still not even sure I wanted any children in the future, biological or otherwise. Even now, society still places a large expectation on women surrounding the idea of motherhood. By comparing myself to others and still outdated social norms, I realized I was turning what could be an opportunity into something negative.

I immediately changed my outlook, shed any embarrassment, and realized how appreciative I should really be. Generations of women have come before me, encouraged to have children at a much younger age and at the expense of other desires, such as careers, travel, personal development, and even personal relationships. The truth is, there is no wrong choice—only what is the best choice for each individual. I knew this was the right choice for me. I can now focus on my career, along with my personal and physical goals, both which are related to my work, and not at all currently tied to

the possibility of motherhood. This has also allowed me to place less emphasis on where I am in my personal life. I took control into my own hands; that is nothing to be ashamed of.

For now, my twenty-seven eggs are currently sitting in an oocyte storage facility.

The beauty in this is that while they may or may not ever be used by me, their retrieval will not be in vain. My intentions for them outside of my personal use are steadfast. If I choose not to use them to have biological children, I will donate them for medical research. I have also made it clear to my mother and closest friends that if I were to pass away unexpectedly, that they be kept to possibly be donated and used by any of my friends or family members who cannot have their own biological children. Becoming an egg donor could be my final and lasting gift to a loved one or to scientific future.

We always have choices. I’m aware some of us have better choices than others; typically, if we make good choices, it allows the next set of decisions to be easier. Regarding my reproductive health and my life as it currently stands, this is the lens through which I viewed this process. I made a choice to take my biology into my own hands. I am thankful for my ability, both financially and physically, to have been able to do so. If I choose to have a family one day, I will not only have more choices, but easier ones. For this, I am presently grateful and perhaps, one day, eternally so.

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FA M I LY M A K I N G

SINGLE INTENDED PARENT THE JOURNEY TO PARENTHOOD

By Meghan Ochs / Photos provided by Chris Harper

"It takes a village" is a wellknown idiom used to describe the understanding that it takes multiple people to raise a healthy, happy, and well-adjusted child. But what about when it also takes a village to make one? Meet Chris Harper. Chris is a 45-year-old single intended father of two beautiful twins named Martha and Barnaby. The twins were born in Oregon, conceived through a fertility center in Las Vegas, coordinated through a surrogacy agency based in Israel, and now, at 21-months-old, they live in the United Kingdom. They are immensely loved and cared for by a large village of Chris’ family and friends.

Becoming a parent, by any means, at any age or place in your life, is never an easy decision. Sometimes it is not even a conscious choice; however, for Chris the choice to become a single parent was filled with purpose and direction. “I wanted to take charge of my own life. I reckoned there were millions of single parents out there. I am volunteering, how can it be any different? I asked myself if I was comfortable being a single parent for the rest of my life. The answer was yes.”

Chris is a theatre producer in London.

His career has always been a top priority and also immensely demanding.

When he turned 40 and still hadn’t found the right partner, he started asking himself the tough questions and wondered if he should hang around and wait, or follow through on his dream of having a family. He chose the latter. “They are the best thing I have ever done. I still love my job but it is in perspective.” Regarding his other job, the one outside of raising his children, he still works hard, but he works differently and feels more effective with his time. His favorite job is now raising his two adorable twins. Chris credits his children with not only helping him achieve balance, but also giving his mother—who passed away this past 16

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Christmas—a reason to keep going for longer than she might have otherwise.

No matter how you shake it, being a parent is not easy, nor is it inexpensive.

Chris’ journey to become a parent was harder and longer than most, as the entire process from start to finish— from his initial research of adoption through his decision to try surrogacy— took years. Fortunately, once he chose surrogacy, the process from agency to the twins’ birth was a total of 11 months. Granted, his children were born 10 weeks early; however, his surrogacy was a smooth, short process, considering. Financially though, it was expensive, costing him the equivalent of about $140,000.

After the emotional and financial commitment to the process, Chris had some even harder decisions to make: who would be his egg donor, and who would carry his children? Deciding whose eggs Chris would use was quite different than choosing his surrogate.

Chris explained that the egg donor was less emotional and based on health and the possibility of being able to contact her in the future if questions arose.

The surrogate was more personal and based on trust and a mutual connection.

“I was moved by her strength and mental stamina to give me a family.

It feels like the most extraordinary gift that a woman, whom I only met a few times, could ever do for me. I can never repay her.” Chris is eternally grateful and recognizes the emotional expense. “We have a really unique, special relationship. When the kids were born I asked if she was ok keeping a relationship, and she asked for how long. I said, like my children, for life.”

For Chris, it was all time and money well spent. Each decision he faced and every pound he spent only solidified his desire to become a father. Chris’ happiness and love for his children is tangible, even over the phone line.

“This all feels like such a small price to pay for two incredible children who have changed my life so considerably and who are loved so dearly by my friends and family.”

Everything that had to happen in order for Chris’ children to be born was a conscious choice and a well-thought-out decision. From the moment he decided he didn’t need to wait to a find a partner, to eventually choosing surrogacy over adoption; choosing an agency, and then the choice of a healthy egg donor; and finally choosing a surrogate with whom he connected and trusted—each arrangement was detailed and important. While Chris had to make a lot of choices that not all parents need to, he also got to make a lot of choices that many parents do, such as what to name his children and who would help him raise them. While it was a long journey, full of tough decisions to get to this point, he is thrilled with the result. “I love it. I am so happy with the choices I have made. I couldn’t wish for better, happier kids. I can’t believe they are here.

It feels like a genuine success story.”

LLC

BMI under 29.

702.768.3282 ©2018

KEEPSAKE

N O W I L AY ME DOWN TO SLEEP: JOHN LLOYD AND CAPTURED LIGHT IMAGES

BY MEG STEINITZ

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W

e live in a country that does not, as a whole, grieve well. Many of us avoid the subject of death and loss in conversation and find it easier to avoid our grieving acquaintances and coworkers because we don’t know what to say. I was recently talking to a man who lost his wife to cancer last summer. Towards the end of our conversation, he remarked, “Most people run the other way when you mention death.” Loss is an incredibly painful and unavoidable reality, and much of the sadness is borne alone by those experiencing it. CDC statistics tell us that each year in the US, there are approximately 24,000 stillbirths and 24,000 infant deaths. Clinically speaking, a stillbirth is the death of a baby during pregnancy or childbirth, occurring after twenty weeks gestation.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) is an organization founded in 2005 that provides the gift of remembrance photography for parents suffering the loss of a baby. They train, educate, and mobilize professional-quality photographers to provide beautiful heirloom portraits to families facing the untimely death of an infant. The founders believe that the photographs serve as an important step in the family’s healing process by honoring the child’s legacy.

John Lloyd is the owner of Captured Light Images and has volunteered for NILMDTS since its inception in 2005. Originally from Reno and now based in Salt Lake City, UT, John has had many experiences that he considers quite profound. “When you lose a baby, most of us don’t have any idea how hard that is or what it means.

It’s hard to know what to say or how to help the parents grieve. It’s easy to feel like you said the wrong thing.” He has been present with hundreds of families during this time of profound sadness, and through his photos, they are able to begin their journey towards healing.

The work took on new meaning to him ten years ago when his own daughter lost twins at twenty weeks gestation. The babies were born alive, and the family spent 45 minutes with them before having to say goodbye. The photos taken by NILMDTS bring comfort to the family, and they hang on the wall with their other family photos.

The family visits the twins’ graves on Christmas and come together to honor them on their birthday. The twins are as much a part of their family as their other children and grandchildren.

Although time has passed, the grief is still there and is a part of all of them.

In his years with NILMDTS, John has witnessed how differently everyone experiences grief. He has met parents who had several months to prepare for the loss as well as parents who arrived at the hospital expecting to bring home a healthy baby.

He finds that many who initially thought the idea of photos too painful are later thankful to have them. Being able to look at a photograph or handprint after the shock has passed can help to make sense of the loss. He sees his work as an act of love for those parents and families.

NILMDTS, found at nowilaymedowntosleep.org, has over 1,700 volunteer photographers around the world. Their website includes information about their organization, as well as resources for those who are grieving or for those who are trying to help someone who is grieving the loss of a baby.

In addition to NILMDTS, John is also involved with their local chapter of a national organization, Share. If you are grieving the loss of a baby, support is available at nationalshare.org.

John Lloyd is a Salt Lake City-based photographer who loves helping families preserve memories. He specializes in weddings, family portraits, and senior portraits, and is happy to travel to Reno, Lake Tahoe, Provo, and anywhere else that his services are needed. Please visit his website at capturedlightimages.zenfolio.com.

W H E N Y O U L O S E A B A B Y, MOST OF US DON’T HAVE A N Y I D E A H O W H A R D T H AT I S O R W H AT I T M E A N S

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PARENTING

THE HUNGER GAMES: TODDLER EDITION

BY ALYSSA STARR

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There are thousands of parenting books that educate you on topics ranging from clipping fingernails to potty training. There are even videos on how to swaddle your baby and timed feeding schedules.

If you are like me, you are probably realizing that kids can be remarkably fickle when it comes to eating. So where is the chapter on how to feed a picky toddler?

I have trained professionally for years in the culinary world. Food has been my passion since I was a child and I knew that someday I would cook professionally for a living. I have attained positions from Line Cook to Executive Chef. I was a finalist candidate on Beat Bobby Flay and have won national awards for various recipes. I have fed thousands upon thousands, genuinely crafting dishes from my heart. I just knew that when I had a child, they would have the most diverse palate and would bring complex micro plates to daycare for their lunch.

Reality check.

A hard lesson to learn when feeding your toddler is that they will hate everything tomorrow that they loved today. Let me introduce to you my fiercely independent daughter, River Rae. I would Pin baby food recipes from the time I found out I was pregnant. I was determined to feed her winter squash with lentils, exotic organic pureed fruits, and would spend hours at Whole Foods picking out the perfect vegetables to flash steam and puree. Today, I still spend hours meal planning, flavor profiling, and crafting meals for her, only for her to indulge in ketchup. Ketchup? My daughter eats ketchup and is the ficklest eater on this planet. How is this even possible? I ate every vegetable in the produce aisle while I was pregnant knowing that she was developing her taste buds in the womb. Where in the heck did ketchup ever come into play?

My pediatrician, Dr. Steven Althoff, told me to continue to offer her a variety of foods and not to give in to her favorites. Don’t settle for giving her that quesadilla or Mac-N-Cheese that she is demanding of me. He also told me I am not a short-order cook; I am in charge. I recently instated a three month ban on quesadillas; they are no longer allowed in my house. She can’t live off something that has zero nutritional value.

smashed fingerling potatoes. I carefully and nervously walked over to River’s high chair and presented the plate. She sensed the fear in me like a K-9 police dog; she knew I was terrified to give her this dinner. She stared at me stone cold, picked up the meatball, and dropped it on the floor.

She had made the first move.

I could feel my eyes start to burn and my face begin to crack.

She was in control. I kept repeating the doctor’s words: I am in charge.

I told her not to throw food on the floor and walked away. I stood around the corner where I could still see her but she couldn’t see me. She examined each piece on her plate and decided it was a no from her. She threw the entire contents of the plate on the floor and demanded cheerios from the box on top of the fridge. Totally heartless!

I felt defeated. The knife went through my heart. I told her, “No,” and put her down on the floor. Dr. Althoff assured me she wouldn’t starve and I was in no way harming her by being firm on my stance. She went to bed fine, clearly not caring about dinner, and I cleaned up the floor.

Nothing in my entire professional career could’ve prepared me for this. It’s a whole new level of education and will require patience and research. I can guarantee my audition for Hell’s Kitchen will be epic after this experience.

So, Daughter, I accept your challenge. I may not be your personal short-order cook, but I am your mother, I am competitive, and I am a chef. I will win. (I keep chanting this repeatedly.)

May the odds be ever in my favor.

Love, Your Salty Mother, Alyssa Starr P.S. To Be Continued.

So the Toddler Food Battle 2018 begins. Last night I made dinner which consisted of meatballs and steamed vegetables with

Spring 2018 / Blissbabies.com

21

PARENTING

DADS

ARE PARENTS, TOO Like many ideas, ours was located at the bottom of a glass of bourbon.

A group of friends sat around a dining table, sipping drinks, as the rowdy sound of our sons filled the background. While talking, it dawned on us that our community didn’t have a forum for dads to share the tales of fatherhood; it didn’t seem common for dads to share the joys, the sorrows, the frustrations, and the victories of fatherhood with one another. Quite simply, we thought maybe there ought to be something more for fathers. Instead of waiting for somebody else to provide it, we created Reno Dads.

That’s how it all started, but in less than a year, it’s evolved to be more than we envisioned. As we explored the world of fatherhood at a deeper level, we found what was being referred to as the “fatherhood crisis.” Children who grow up without fathers are, on average, two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.

Fatherhood matters. According to the Department of Census, 43% of US children live without their father.

What’s more, fathers that were in the home were barely spending an hour a day in activity with their children.

While we didn’t think we could put absent fathers back in the home, we did think we could help good dads be even better and create some new norms for fatherhood in our corner of the world.

Since our inception, we’ve found the support of thousands of dads, moms, and community members that believe in the importance of fatherhood.

We’ve built a core team of more than 22

Spring 2018 / Blissbabies.com

By Mike McDowell & David Bradfield Photo JBK Imaging

a dozen dads to share their stories on our website. We’ve spotlighted local fathers, family-friendly businesses, and local events, all while building valuable partnerships. Reno Dads has even branched into events of our own. One of our most popular events has been our Father/Daughter Hairstyling classes. We partnered with Paul Mitchell Studio in Reno to teach rad dads how to style their daughter’s hair. We covered the basics from brushing, to braiding, to buns. Dads walked in with fear in their eyes but left with confidence and a beautiful memory with their daughters. Some of the girls didn’t want to let their hair down for days on end because their dad did their hair.

We’re excited to see what year two holds for Reno Dads. Engaged fatherhood in our community benefits us all. As Reno Dads evolves, we promise to provide fathers a forum, to help create new norms of active fatherhood, and events that celebrate fatherhood in all its glory.

We hope you come along for the ride.

You can find Reno Dads online at renodadsblog.com and on Facebook at Reno Dads.

Mike McDowell is one of the founders of Reno Dads. He's a Reno native and passionate about giving back to his city. In addition to being a devoted Dad to his two sons, Mike geeks out over marketing, sports, and perfectly placed puns.

David Bradfield is also a founder of Reno Dads. He is the father of two boys, husband of 11 years, and a 5th generation Nevadan. Don't tell anyone, but he's also a former undercover CIA officer serving in crazy places, like North Africa during Arab Spring.

Ava i

le 24/7 lab

PBS KIDS is #1 in preparing kids for success in school and in life

Parents report that TV

74%

is one of the top ways they spend time

together as a family PBS KIDS is the best use

of families’ screen time

of parents want high-quality educational content available to their children anywhere, anytime 1

1

Which media brand do you think is the best use of your family’s screen time?

37%

24%

12%

Disney Jr.

PBS KIDS

11% Sprout

Nick Jr.

PBS KIDS improves children’s behavior

1

2%

% of parents who say their child exhibits more positive behavior after engaging with network's activities

Cartoon Network

PBS KIDS

16%

Media Brand

Cartoon Network

in school readiness

How well did/does each of these networks prepare your child for school?

50%

70% 64%

59%

PBS KIDS Sprout

35%

35% 36% 31%

19% Helps somewhat

28%

Disney Jr.

28%

Nick Jr.

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Nick Jr.

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PBS KIDS is #1

31%

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Children’s Educational

81%

1

1

KNPB PBS KIDS on Channel 5.3 Also streaming online and on the PBS KIDS Video Apps

knpb.org/knpbpbskids #pbskids247

Cartoon Network

Helps a lot 1.Online survey of 1,004 parents of children ages 2-6. Maru/Matchbox, November 30 - December 15, 2016.

2. Survey of 1,002 adults, 18 years of age and older, who participated via phone. Marketing & Research Resources, Inc. (M&RR), January 3-10, 2017.

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