I collapse whenever

‘ I collapse

whenever I laugh’

Billie Hodgson has a very unusual condition which makes her anxious to leave the house

REAL LIFE

hen Billie Hodgson hears a friend making a jok e, she quietly moves out of earshot, and people often think she ’s down in the dumps . That’s because the 17 y ear old, from Sheffield, suffers with cataplex y –a rare brain disorder that trig gers sudden muscle paralysis and can attack whenever she star ts to laugh. W

NO CURE Billie, who lives with her mum and sister and is studying for her A -levels, sa ys, “Although my condition sounds funn y, it’s an ything but. I f I ever feel like I’m about to burst out laughing, I force m yself to think about m y symptoms , and the possibility I could collapse . “My friends and family often say something funn y and then apologise straight after, which just mak es me w ant to crack up even more.” Billie first realised there w as

Billie – here with her mum – says her family and friends are very supportive She says that getting her diagnosis was a “relief”

❛ MY FRIENDS TRY NOT

T O MAKE ANY JOKES

WHEN I’M AROUND ❜

something wrong in September 2016 when she was 14. She recalls, “I was laughing in the school canteen and the next thing I knew I was shaking and ended up on the floor. It was so embarrassing. Luckily I didn’t injure myself. I visited my GP a few days later, who said it was normal to shake when you laugh, but I was later referred to a neurologist just in case.”

In March the following year, Billie experienced another attack. She remembers, “I was laughing with my friends when my hands started shaking uncontrollably. It was all over so quickly that I questioned if I was really having any symptoms at all.” Billie finally saw the neurologist in November 2017, who monitored her brain activity for 24 hours to try to figure out what the problem was. She says, “I was still sofa, in case I collapse. I worry

waiting for a diagnosis when I had another attack in January 2018. My mum and I were giggling away in the kitchen and then I dropped to the floor. My mum was horrified because it was the first time she had witnessed an attack.”

MISERABLE In March 2019, Billie was finally diagnosed with cataplexy, which is a condition where laughter can cause a person to suffer sudden physical collapse though remaining conscious. She says, “Getting a diagnosis was a relief, because it was proof that I wasn’t overreacting. But I hate that I’m always worrying about the next attack. “At home I can’t watch anything too funny on TV, because I don’t want an unexpected giggling fit – and I spend most of my time on the when I meet new people that

they think I’m miserable, as

I always steer the conversation

away from anything amusing.

“There is no cure for

cataplexy and I’ve had to accept

that it’s a condition I’ll have

to live with for the rest of my

life. Some days can be harder

than others and I struggle with

feeling low, because I know

that I can never laugh with

my friends care-free, and I

worry how this could affect

my mental health in the future.

“I’ll never be able to drive

because of the risk I could pass

out at the wheel, and I won’t

be able to fulfil my dream of

being a midwife because of

my uncontrollable muscle

paralysis and shaky hands.

CLO SERONLINE.CO.UK PHOTOS: MERCURY PRESS “But I’m lucky to be surrounded by my wonderful friends and family. They make me feel normal, and are beside me every step of the way.” By Kaya Terry