‘I collapse whenever Ilaugh’
REAL LIFE
Billie Hodgson has a very unusual condition which makes her anxious to leave the house
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She says that getting her diagnosis was a “relief”
NO CURE
Billie, who lives with her mum and sister and is studying for her A-levels, says, “Although my condition sounds funny, it’s anything but. If I ever feel like I’m about to burst out laughing, I force myself to think about my symptoms, and the possibility I could collapse. “My friends and family often say something funny and then apologise straight after, which just makes me want to crack up even more.” Billie first realised there was
Billie – here with her mum – says her family and friends are very supportive
something wrong in September 2016 when she was 14. She recalls, “I was laughing in the school canteen and the next thing I knew I was shaking and ended up on the floor. It was so embarrassing. Luckily I didn’t injure myself. I visited my GP a few days later, who said it was normal to shake when you laugh, but I was later referred to a neurologist just in case.” In March the following year, Billie experienced another attack. She remembers, “I was laughing with my friends when my hands started shaking uncontrollably. It was all over so quickly that I questioned if I was really having any symptoms at all.” Billie finally saw the neurologist in November 2017, who monitored her brain activity for 24 hours to try to figure out what the problem
❛MY FRIENDS TRY NOT TO MAKE ANY JOKES WHEN I’M AROUND❜
was. She says, “I was still waiting for a diagnosis when I had another attack in January 2018. My mum and I were giggling away in the kitchen and then I dropped to the floor. My mum was horrified because it was the first time she had witnessed an attack.” MISERABLE
In March 2019, Billie was finally diagnosed with cataplexy, which is a condition where laughter can cause a person to suffer sudden physical collapse though remaining conscious. She says, “Getting a diagnosis was a relief, because it was proof that I wasn’t overreacting. But I hate that I’m always worrying about the next attack. “At home I can’t watch anything too funny on TV, because I don’t want an unexpected giggling fit – and I spend most of my time on the
sofa, in case I collapse. I worry when I meet new people that they think I’m miserable, as I always steer the conversation away from anything amusing. “There is no cure for cataplexy and I’ve had to accept that it’s a condition I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. Some days can be harder than others and I struggle with feeling low, because I know that I can never laugh with my friends care-free, and I worry how this could affect my mental health in the future. “I’ll never be able to drive because of the risk I could pass out at the wheel, and I won’t be able to fulfil my dream of being a midwife because of my uncontrollable muscle paralysis and shaky hands. “But I’m lucky to be surrounded by my wonderful friends and family. They make me feel normal, and are beside me every step of the way.” By Kaya Terry CLOSERONLINE.CO.UK
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PHOTOS: MERCURY PRESS
hen Billie Hodgson hears a friend making a joke, she quietly moves out of earshot, and people often think she’s down in the dumps. That’s because the 17 year old, from Sheffield, suffers with cataplexy – a rare brain disorder that triggers sudden muscle paralysis and can attack whenever she starts to laugh.
