Sex is such a turn off. Written by Ace2
It’s anywhere and everywhere; movies, books, songs, yo mama’s bedroom, your brother’s sock, the pool table in the Halls common rooms. It’s the way that men swagger down the street, fresh from the clubs or bars. The laughter from women after a drink too many, white teeth behind red lipstick, dressed to the nines, and makeup on point. A hand trailing up an arm to rest on a shoulder, heated kisses in a bathroom stall. Everywhere you look, nothing but sex or a means to get there. In most western media, especially TV shows, there is a lot of sex. Sometimes as a very poor plot device, sometimes tastefully done but still unnecessary. Finding something to watch that doesn’t offend your eyeballs gets harder and harder with each month. Netflix is drowning, it’s dripping with sex-driven shows, so much that it might as well be PornHub. Everywhere, sex is talked about, mentioned, sought after (this is a university and hormones are running rampant with each new batch of freshers that come in), and messily achieved in some not-so-private spaces. Are the walls thick enough in the halls to avoid hearing your pod-mate fuck someone? No, no they are not. Invest in some noise-canceling headphones, earplugs, or earmuffs, I implore you. As much as sex is ‘cool’ (as long as you get consent, consent is important, fam), the thing to do, the thing to pass time, there is more to life than fucking or getting 22
fucked. How do I know this? As an asexual, I am well versed in things that are Better Than Sex™. “An asexual? Isn’t that what plants do?” Yes, and no. Asexuality (in humans) is the lack of sexual attraction, not the lack of sexual drive. It is also NOT the lack of romantic attraction; sex and romance are two very different things and are something that is often ignored. But, like most aspects of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s less of a definition and more of a metal slide covered in dishwashing liquid and water. Asexuality is a spectrum, a multi-faceted diamond, a 3D model of a castle with all the secret passageways and booby traps and pitfalls that scarily mimic real life, but on steroids with an enthusiastic Italian plumber in stripper heels to guide you. It can be scary to navigate, difficult at times with a shit ton of eMOtioNAL DAmaGE from the constant external pressure to be fucking normal, dammit! It’s the constant need to defend yourself, to explain that yes, you would like a romantic relationship; hold hands and cuddle and support and lean on someone, go on dates, and have that constant reassurance that someone loves you for you, you just don’t want sex. Can we have a stable, meaningful relationship that doesn’t revolve around sex? Yes, it is possible. But no, I think the favourite part of being asexual is the constant need that other people feel to fix this…fix my
