AUGUST 2018
Matthew’s Quarterly Drink Review
“The only good thing (other than me) to come from Whitby, Ontario” - Matthew Conacher 2018
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sour — but in neither a good nor bad way bubbly as heck (get ready for toots) chase with a packet of Splenda because this is not sweet whatsoever
4 “I am taking a break from refined sugars” Matthews out of 5
“Have your cake and eat it too? …. more like have your cake via chug and end up in Kingston General Hospital” - Matthew Conacher 2018
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this was literally nasty to be honest I see what they were trying to do - they did not do it not chuggable (do not try this at home) 2 Very Conflicted Fat Kid Matthews out of 5
“All beer tastes like pee” - Matthew Conacher 2018
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light, refreshing, and arguably “healthy” like 0% so don’t consume if you want to feel anything other than the destructive effects of capitalism cute can … artisanal vibez
5 “This is the best pee I’ve ever had” Matthews out of 5
“Stay at home moms are shook … finally an artisan radler with ORGANIC juice!” - Matthew Conacher 2018
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borderline healthy (contains like citrus juices … from actual citruses) quaffable (and no that isn’t a word for the emission of air from one’s privates) smells better than a “quaff” 4 Gluten Free Matthews out of 5