July 2018 - Quarterly Drink Review

JULY 2018

Matthew’s Quarterly Drink Review

“no carbs, no preservatives, no will to live” - Matthew Conacher 2018

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tastes like lemon scented cleaning product and rubbing alcohol what people without taste buds think Sprite tastes like a crisp n’ refreshing vodka soda that could be a great mix for more sugary coolers 4 “I am taking a break from refined sugars” Matthews out of 5

“yummy yummy in my tummy” - Matthew Conacher 2018

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this was literally good high enough percentage that you might text your women’s studies professor and tell her you love her tastes like 7-Up left in the sun for 17 minutes then spiked with a splash of moonshine 5 “accidentally failing women's studies” Matthews out of 5

“get lit and cure your UTI in one fell swoop”

- Matthew Conacher 2018

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almost as disappointing as me in real life tastes like the inside of your mouth after you puke up a cranberry-lime cooler tried so hard to like this but I could not cranberries are good for yeast infections also so like #Cheers 2 “I am genuinely sad” Matthews out of 5

“pretty sure this is available at the Keg so you know she bougie” - Matthew Conacher 2018

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bring to a tinder woman’s house to seal the deal pronounced MAY-OH-ME from California — just like Paula Abdul big mouth-filling flavours tastes like cola, black berries, rhubarb, clove, finishes nice and dry — like it always should 4 “ending the summer with a negative bank account” Matthews out of 5