M MAGAZINE
EXPOSURE. EXPAND. THRIVE
SUMMER ISSUE
AMBITION
A MALE’S PERSPECTIVE Cosha Hayes
“STITCHES”
Samantha J’s Juice
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IT STARTS WITH SELF
Finding Love After Divorce
WOMAN II WOMAN “OVERCOMING”
A BETTER U
IBA Pedron
Maintaining Personal Peace
Business Coach, Consultant & Marketing Expert,
Author & Speaker
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STITCHES CORNER Because some wounds need more than just a band-aide
It Starts With Self Have you ever felt your love life was like a roller coaster? Has it often left you with a sense of nausea that makes you never want to visit another theme park, let alone chance any more rides. Well, if this sounds like you and you need change then you have reached the right corner. In the Stitches' Corner, we will discuss how you can best prepare yourself for success before, during, and between relationships. Just like roller coasters are meant to have its ups and downs, jerks and turns, so are relationships. The dreams of living in a big house with a white picket fence and no issues are far from reality. That is just a dream. Reality has twist and turns. There are two major issues that many face when it comes to relationships as they relate to a roller coaster - 1) recognizing what you are supposed to take away from the ride and 2) realizing when it is time to get off and move on. The key is not to turn down the side affects of the ride, but rather to learn from every episode so that your next ride will be more productive; therefore, eventually getting to the place where the ride is actually something you look forward to. When you take a roller coaster ride, your heart is pumping and your adrenaline is racing. The ride has left you with lasting effects and memories. At this point is where riders begin to differ. Some go right back and stand in lines, for hours even, just for another three minute thrill, while others are off to the next ride, we will discuss them in a minute. Learning from a situation is not just limited to when you are moving from one person to another but also when dealing with the same person. The first part of this process is learning to address inflictions or wounds. These may be present tense or past. Just like physically, from time to time, having wounds that are so deep simply putting a band-aide on it will not do very much. This is where doctors will often use stitches. Their purpose is to hold the wound together long enough for the nature healing process to occur. This same rule applies to relationships and is where the concept of "stitches" derived. Relationships often need the same level of care and attention. The roller coaster that seems to have either drained us or left us with untold scares and wounds are what I like to called the "love experience." Unfortunately, no one ever told you this ride has several side affects including but not limited to total disgust and exhaustion. Not so long ago I was talking with someone who could not understand why they were experiencing the problems they were encountering in their present relationship. As I listen to their story, I began to hear how she had just gone from one relationship experience to the next, repeating many of the same experiences. I recalled my mom telling me when I first separated from my ex-wife that I needed to take time for me to get my "ex" out of my system. Like most children, I heard my mother but did not listen. MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
Jeremy L Blunt
I started dating someone and it turned into a disaster pretty quickly. I had so many pint up emotions from my marriage that, looking back, I can remember the girl I was seeing at the time saying, "I can't seem to do nothing right and I don't know how to please you." The worst part was I saw her trying and quite frankly, at the time, I heard myself say, “I don't care and I'm not asking you to stick around." This might sound familiar. Too many of us take baggage from previous encounters with us to the next, thinking that if we just satisfy the emotional or physical element, then everything would be just fine. Unfortunately, it does not work that way. There has to be a time of reflection and preparation. Here we will teach you how to create a better you, thus, changing the dynamics of how you interact with others. This leads us to the other type of thrill seekers that are so infatuated with a three minute ride that they will repeat it over and over, even after the original thrill is gone. I knew a couple once asked me their opinion on whether or not they should continue to pursue their relationship. After hearing their story, meeting with them several times, and watching how they interacted with each other, my personal opinion was drastically different from my professional one.
Relationship Advisor Jeremy L. Blunt Continue on next page 6
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Summer 2013
28 A BETTER U
WOMAN II WOMAN
Are Your Limiting Beliefs Overcoming
Keeping Stuck? 9
Gut Be Gone
Danielle Does Makeup
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Cougar
It Starts With Self
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Finding Love, After Divorce
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A MALE’S PERSPECTIVE
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Ask The Man
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IVING WITHOUT LIMITS
How To Brand Yourself In 30 Seconds!
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Maintaining Personal Peace
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On Our Cover
THE READING ROOM Shoulda Just Killed Me
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Biba Pedron, business coach and consultant, also known as "The Connection Queen" helps entrepreneurs to grow their business teaching simple but effective marketing strategies that really work. So they can attract more clients on and offline while building a 6-figure business. All while following their passion and doing what they love best.
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They had all the clear signs that the relationship was over and they were just putting up with each other because of kids and convenience. I always tell people that my job is not to tell you what to do or make decisions for your relationship; I'm here to help if you sincerely want to continue to be together and improve the condition. The real truth about people, like this couple, is they only put up a smoke screen about wanting to make their relationship work. They are a ticking time bomb that will eventually explode into what will leave their lives distorted and to many unrecoverable. I choose to stop advising the couple because they really did not want help. They only wanted someone outside of each other to hear their arguments. They had spent so much time talking to what became deaf ears when they went to each other that it was no longer worth it anymore. This happens all to often and is one of the reasons partners resort to seeking gratification from an outside party. I tried repeatedly to help the couple understand the importance of starting with themselves. Looking for a partner to make you whole is the wrong answer. It does not work. Plus, you will not find anyone who does have everything. No matter how many times I stressed it, I could not get the couple to get this major concept: The key to finding true happiness with someone is looking inside yourself as opposed to and before looking inside others.
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#1 - It starts with Self - Learn to Love You. We live in a day and age where everything is about the gratification of others and what they think. What will my friends think if I break up with what they see as this great guy? Should I stick it out? He says if I really love him, I would have sex with him. The list of scenarios could go on for days. The point is that in many cases we let our world revolve around other people's ideologies. In a sense, we begin to mimic what we want people to see and think so much, people get our representative instead of our true self. To change this, we must start learning to love ourselves. To do this, we must begin by getting to know ourselves. It might seem strange but get in front of a mirror, look at your reflection eye to eye and introduce yourself. From there, ask yourself questions about what makes you who you are. Give yourself some time alone and fall in love with that person. Then, when you introduce anyone else to that person, you will be less likely to compromise the love you already have for yourself with a blind love that does not know what it truly wants or where it is going.
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ASK THE MAN
Learning the male species from a male’s perspective
Relationship Advisor Jeremy L. Blunt
My name is nothing but a fool, I can’t believe I’m writing you as I have fallen on pure desperation. I once was in a painful and abusive relationship with a younger man whose12 years younger than me. I don’t know what the hell I was ever thinking when getting involved. My only initial thought was to have one sexual encounter with him then move on, but of course, he had another ulterior motive. I don’t know how or when, but this guy wind up being one of my dependents. I gave him everything such as financial and emotional support. I knew I should have known better, right? He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. What a fool I was to think he ever wanted me as an older wife. After his abuse both physical and verbal abuse, I decided to end the relationship. Well, it’s been almost a year, and I have moved on. I’m in a better relationship with a guy who’s just the opposite of this joker, but when I see him or hear things about him, it makes me literally sick. Ask the man, I want to be free from these painful memories that subject me to being a bitter woman. I’m certain he hasn’t lost any sleep over this. I have prayed on it, but maybe I haven’t prayed hard enough. Ask the man; please at this point what should I do?
Dear Reader, Thank you for writing in. The purpose of "Ask the Man" is to enlighten, educate, and empower. With that being said, please allow me to start off by saying you are not a fool. We all have made some unwise decisions that upon looking back were not our greatest moments, but the mere fact that you wrote to ask for enlightenment on your situation separates you from those considered being foolish. Foolishness is recognizing that you need help, but refusing to ask for it. Secondly, although we don't choose whom we fall in love with, we can position ourselves in a way to better project possible positive results. In other words, not set ourselves up for failure. When you met the younger man, you were so infatuated with someone his age and stature showing interest in you that you ignored the normal process of rationalization. It is because of this, you failed to notice that you were unequally yoked. Sexual relations simply helped cloud things further. Once this occurred, the physical and verbal abuse began. You did forget one, he also mentally abused you. When most relationships end, the physical and verbal abuse stops, but the mental abuse or angriest continues.
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Good luck!
ASK THE MAN
A MALE’S PERSPECTIVE
The reason you, like so many others, cannot be happy with someone else, even though, you claim you are no longer in love with the person that did you so wrong and despite you and or them having moved on to other relationships with other people, is because a chapter in your book of life was not closed properly. You must address the root of your problem. Although you have separated yourself physically from him, you are still allowing him to influence your thought process. Every time you are about to make a decision you pause and think on what he would say or think. This is because you have not forgiven him. Forgiveness is for you, not anyone else. Tyler Perry explained this in one of the best ways I have heard it put lately, when you fail to forgive someone, you give them power over you. The way you determine if you fall in this category is asking yourself does the very mention of his name changes your mood? Does your skin quiver when they come around? Do you constantly compare anyone you deal with to them? If you answered yes to any or all these questions, they have power over you. The only way to relinquish this power is to forgive them. Let the things that they did to you go. Not only this, but also forgive yourself. Many times we forgive others but don't forgive ourselves. We walk around with pain and resentment all built up inside. You must let it go and move on with your life. This is a process, and it does not mean you will never think of them or wish things had turned out differently, but that chapter and season in your life is over, and you must move on. When you pray, ask for forgiveness for both you and he, then ask to cast your memories into the sea of forgetfulness. We often say we can forgive, but can't forget. This is because our responsibility is only to forgive and allow the creator to handle the forgetfulness part. Life is about experiences, learn from them and use them to better your future decisions.
Are you dealing with uncertainties in your relationship? Girlfriends are no help because they are too emotional? No fret, contact ASK THE MAN. Get a male’s perspective right now. From a man to a woman, ASK THE MAN, keeps it real! Contact ASK THE MAN: maturewomannow@gmail.com *Please use aliases names upon submission*
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A BETTER U
Part 1 of 2: Are Your Limiting Beliefs Keeping You STUCK? By Linda Allred, THE Bad Habit Breaker/Certified Hypnotist Expert Today’s article is a part one of two. The first part is about “Are Your Limiting Beliefs Keeping You STUCK?” and in my next article I will talk about “What the Heck Is Energy Work?” — how it works and why it can transform your life, and most importantly how energy work can help you let go of your limiting beliefs that are keeping you STUCK. You want to go quickly, or are you struggling because something subconsciously seems to be holding you back?” If you answered yes to this question, that force that is keeping you STUCK in your rut could very well be what’s called a “limiting belief.” Let me give you an example. What if your goal was to be an airplane pilot? Let’s pretend you are driving along in your car with your foot slammed all the way down on the accelerator saying to yourself, “Yeah! I am going to be greatest airplane pilot in the world”, but all of a sudden your subconscious limiting beliefs come flooding in your mind causing you to doubt your decision. Ask yourself this question, “Are you getting where Thoughts like, “I might crash the plane and kill myself” or “Who am I kidding? I always fail at everything I try. I am such a screw up. There’s no way I can be a pilot,” may pop into your head. These limiting beliefs cause you to slam your foot on the brake at the same time as your other foot has jammed the accelerator pedal to the floor, causing you to spin your wheels. You’re stuck, going nowhere fast. So, how do you get unstuck?
MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
Until you learn how to tap into the power of your subconscious mind, which according to Bruce Lipton, Cellular Biologist, makes up 99% of the power of your mind, chances are you will remain stuck exactly where you are right now. He also stated that our minds are a programmable biocomputer. The computer is the ‘hardware’ and your beliefs are the ‘software.’ Your subconscious beliefs establish the limits of what you can achieve.
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A BETTER U Learning to change your limiting beliefs can actually accelerate you in the direction you want to go easily, effortlessly, and move forward at the speed you set for yourself. So, if your life feels like a car being driven with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake, chances are you have a conflict between your conscious goals and your subconscious beliefs. If you are ready to get ‘unstuck,’ learn the power of your subconscious mind, and let go of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, here are two positive ways to make that happen. The first step to your total transformation could be applying for my complimentary “Break Your Bad Habits/ Beliefs NOW! Strategy Session. You’d better hurry because I only have a few sessions available. The second step is to take action NOW! When your intent is followed by a plan of action, you increase your success rate by leaps and bounds! I invite you to ‘play’ with me in my fun bi-monthly group virtual (by phone) Break Your Bad Habits Inner Circle. The first call of the month you will experience a self -hypnosis session and the second call you will experience a powerful energy work Accelerated Change Template (ACT) session to jump-start the transformation of your life. To find out more about self-hypnosis and energy work (ACT).
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Click here to start improving your life today!
Linda Allred, THE Bad Habit Breaker/ Certified Hypnotist. To apply for a complimentary Break Your Bad Habits/Beliefs Strategy Session with Linda, receive 5 Special FREE Gifts and her bonus audio recording “How Do I Get Slim NOW?” visit http:// www.LindaAllred.com, call 225-2752451 or email Linda@LindaAllred.com today! Face Book – LindaVAllred.
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What’s Sizzling?
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Nicole E. Jones GRAPHIC DESIGNERS
Raising The Bar
Brandon Jolly Brandon Jones
Photography Anywherephotoz Photography Contributor Writers Linda Allred Ashly Dabney Ardessia Groze DeVaughn Jeremy L. Blunt Danielle L. Huvall Desirable Jones Samantha Joyner Jessica McClain Florence Freeman Mc Donald Biba Pedron Komeeka Booth Ram
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from me to you
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GETTING BACK IN THE SADDLE!
Knowing.
What Matters. From The Heart.
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AISING THE BAR WITH MATURE WOMAN NOW MAGAZINE. IS WHAT I’M ABOUT… ARE THERE ANY LIMITS? OF COURSE NOT…...
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hat matters from the heart is what matters most to you. A part of life is getting knocked down. The ultimate questions are how many times one gets knocked down and how long their planning on staying down. As a woman, we are faced with many obstacles in life. Our obstacles can range from personal relationships, finances, careers, family, dreams, and even goals. But, one important thing in all our trials and tribulations, is never to give up. As a matter of fact, giving up is not an option. If it means standing alone in your purpose, stand alone. I found in my business career that one person that will support you is self. Is that easily said than done, of course not. If whatever reason you have placed your goals on the back burner, take it off! A business is just like riding a horse. The ride will become bumpy, and even bucks allowing you to fall off. My advice as a woman and a business-minded woman is to get back on the saddle.
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A BETTER U
By Komeeka Booth Ram As a devoted mom, Komeeka balances a flexible schedule while still making quality time to spend with her husband and two children. Komeeka has lived in New Orleans, LA and Atlanta, GA. She now resides in her hometown of Laurel, MS. After finishing high school, Komeeka attended Dillard University and majored in Pre-Physical Therapy. Once she finished her Bachelor's degree, she relocated to Atlanta to attend graduate school at Life University. She received her Master's of Science degree in Sports Health Science with concentrations in both Exercise and Sports Science & Sports injury Management. Komeeka is currently a Substitute Teacher, a Health and Wellness Coach, a personal trainer, and a volunteer basketball coach. She enjoys motivating and encouraging women daily on their journey of healthy lifestyles. When Komeeka is not busy focusing on health and fitness....she loves to sing, cook, dance, watch football, and spend time with her family. Komeeka is a longtime New Orleans Saints fan.
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Ov
WOMAN II WOMAN
ercoming‌..
By Florence Freeman
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hen I think of the word "overcoming," the song "Sinner's Prayer" by Deitrick Haddon comes to mind. "I could have been dead, sleeping in my grave but, God blessed me to see another day........" Those lyrics resonate with the story of my life perfectly. While I was going through my storms, I just knew that I would never make it out. I kept going through one situation after the other; several of them were near death experiences. I sit back now and think about where I have come from.....promiscuity, drugs, homelessness, depression, being shot at.........and I am amazed that I am even here right now and able to reflect on it. I honestly should have been dead like ten times by now! But God had other plans for me! I do not know the extent of His plans, but I know that what I have been through was not in vain. I overcame all of my obstacles for a reason! I am a living testimony. It is my job to go out and tell others to stop allowing the mistakes of their past to dictate their futures. I stayed in that mind frame for so long thinking that I was too "broken" to become anything positive. Through overcoming, I have learned that God will use the weakest, most vulnerable person to be an example for others. When I tell people my story and explain how many MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
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times I could have been dead before I even made it to age 19, they are amazed. It is unbelievable to me, as well. You see, the devil will try to keep you from overcoming your obstacles by telling you things like "you are a dishonest person" or "you've done too much wrong, you could never be right," when all you have to do is ask God for forgiveness and the strength to make it out. Overcoming to me means that you go through the worst of the worst and come out with a new mind and a new way of thinking, stepping on your obstacles to make it to the top. It took me a while to push my past where it needed to be, BEHIND ME, and I am still working on that. But no one can take the fact that I am an OVERCOMER, a CONQUEROR, and a DETERMINED young woman who is trying to show others that no matter what you have done or been through, there is hope, and if you allow HIM, he will fight your battles and help you overcome!
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Maintaining Personal Peace‌‌...
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t is not surprising that depression and suicide rates have risen dramatically over the last decade. From terrorist attacks and local murders to national and personal economic woes, society in general has taken an emotional beating that has become overwhelming and unbearable to many. All one has to do is turn on the news or read the newspaper and tragedy and dismay are often the first things reported; it is indeed enough to make one lose peace. With so much going on, how can we maintain a level of sanctity and peace when chaos seems to abound? Depending on the individual, there are many things that can be done to keep a level of tranquility so that the cares of life do not cause an entrapment of your peace. For most people, any type of critical news whether it is on a personal, local, or national level, brings on some type of negative emotion. Oftentimes, peace is immediately broken because something has happened to upset us. We all remember 9/11, not only was peace gone, fear came, and the United States as most Americans knew it would never be the same. Our peace had been invaded and uncertainties set in. We all know that life is filled with uncertainties, we know things will occur that are beyond our control, beyond our understanding even when these things happen our peace of mind is shattered; and most people probably be in consensus when saying peace of mind is one of the best things we can have. From a personal perspective, when finances, marriages, children, jobs, etc. are in an uproar, we often lose sleep, we are unfocused, and in a depressive state until something changes to make us feel better. Unfortunately, these changes are not always immediate, so there must be some checks and balances in place to help us maintain our focus and our peace in order to carry on. One of the most powerful tools many people use is prayer. Prayer is a comforting mechanism because the individual believes in someone higher than him or herself. Besides prayer, other tools used to help one maintain personal peace is exercise, helping others, shopping, work, and laughter. Laughter maybe an unusual tool because most people may not think about laughing when a crisis is going on; however, if focus could be placed on things that make you laugh then your mind is not in a constant state of distress, which then, at least for a little while gives you peace. Of course, we as individuals respond to things differently, so it is essential to reiterate depending on the person, maintaining peace in trying situations will vary. Maintaining peace is important not only to our mental health, but also to our physical health, as well. Oftentimes when our peace is broken or gone, we stress and worry, and we realize the downfalls of unhealthy stress. However, even when we have certain protocols in place to help us deal with the uncertainties in life, we have to be mindful not to allow the tools that we use to help us turn around and hinder us. For example, if someone uses shopping as a coping mechanism to help them deal with tragedy, we must be careful to maintain a budget and not overspend or max out credit cards. This behavior will only lead to more stress that can create a vicious cycle.
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By Jessica McClain, Unfortunately, life is unpredictable; more times than not things are going to occur that we have absolutely no control over. Our peace will be interrupted and sometimes shattered, but when that happens, we must be able maintain a level of peace to continue on. Most likely our peace is not just for the sake of us, it is for the sake of our children, spouse, parents, or other people who are relevant to us. As an individual, try to find ways that help you maintain peace when adversity and uncertainties strike. If you are able to do so, the situation will more than likely allow you to become a better, stronger person because of it.
Speak On It.... We really don't realize the power that the tongue holds. We speak on things and situations while not fully understanding that we can easily speak life or death into a situation. Individually, we hold the key to our own happiness. When we realize this, we stop depending on others to bring happiness into our lives. As soon as circumstances arise in our lives, instead of speaking positive and empowering words over the situation, we are instantly filled with doubt and negativity. I, myself am guilty of this. I recently had a situation which had me so stressed out, I could not sleep. I finally stopped and asked myself the question....what good will worrying do? It won't change the situation. So instead, I spoke a positive outcome into existence and went on about my business. I said all of that to say this, we are too blessed to be stressed. Stop speaking negative situations over your life, your children, your marriage/ relationship, your career, and your health. Speak positive words, surround yourself with positive people, have faith and give it to God. Watch how things start to fall into place! By Ashly Dabney
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By Ardessia Groze De Vaughn
COUGAR MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
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irlfriend let me tell you about being a cougar. It’s not easy trying to find a date. Most of us have moved away from our comfort zones of our neighborhood friends and school classmates of which we know the approximate age. Today, if we look at an individual, then ask their age, we will see that the face and the body do not fit the age. Girlfriend, let me tell you, I am 67 years old and proud of it. For a cougar, I am not bad to look at. However, I am truly surprised at the ages of individuals I meet and can’t believe how chronologically young they are. Girlfriend, let me tell you, my last husband was nine years younger than me. It didn’t bother him, and it didn’t bother me. I am looking for companionship of someone between 60 and 70 years of age. Girlfriend, let me tell you, that’s not all. Cougars are pretty demanding. There is a three part test he must pass in all three categories. Test #1: He must be easy to look at, to the point that I don’t have to place a paper bag over his head; for example, the prostitute did in “Cotton Comes to Harlem.” Test #2: He must be able to carry on a decent conversation other than about some kind of sport. Test #3: He must be good in bed. Girlfriend, let me tell you, failure to pass in any one of these categories is failure of passing the test. Now, there are certain requirements he must also possess. He must not smoke. Now, that I have quit smoking, I don’t want the smell in my house, my hair, or my clothes. He must not expect me to cook. I spent 20 years in the military, and someone cooked in the mess hall for me. Plus, I like eating in nice restaurants and not fast food joints. I love traveling; especially cruising, and I can ride for days in a car if you don’t scare the wit out of me. I don’t drive distance anymore because of my eyes, but back in the day, I had 375,000 miles on my ‘76 Mustang before I got rid of it after 11 years. He must not be tight with his money. If I have to ask him for anything, I don’t need him, and he better not ask me what something cost. If I want it, I don’t care how much it cost. He must pick up behind himself, unless he will hire a maid because no maid lives here. He must follow my instructions on how he should dress. Athletic shoes belong in the gym, ball field or picnic. Girlfriend, let me tell you, I don’t want you to think I am so picky, but after all, I had two husbands, therefore; I have to go back to the very beginning. I am “very picky.” Now, I don’t want all of you to start sending applications for your fathers, brothers, uncles or male cousins all at one time. I personally will screen each application. Girlfriend, once I have accepted a man, you are out of the picture, except for my birthday, Christmas and Mother’s Day Gifts.
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DANIELLE DOES MAKE UP
Apply skincare heaviest to lightest - use your creams first, then follow with your eye cream or gel and any serums you may use. USE SUNSCREEN! This cannot be stressed enough. Your skin's elasticity and the collagen layer are both seriously affected by constant exposure to UVA and UVB rays. Sunscreen is the fountain of youth! Avoid thick, dark eyeliner under your bottom lashes. It can make your eyes look smaller, and it can make you look tired. Instead, consider using a brown or grey eye shadow applied with an angled eyeliner brush for a softer line look. Brows matter! Fill in your eyebrows with a matte eye shadow that is one shade lighter than your hair color for a natural, defined brow look. Lip primer is your best friend! I highly recommend Prep + Prime Lip by MAC - apply slightly outside the lip line and allow it to get "tacky" for about 2 minutes before applying lip liner and lipstick for best results. Invest in yourself. Don't be afraid to‌.
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SAMANTHA J’s JUICE
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! At some point in your life we get married, some of us are fortunate to stay in martial bless with the same partner until death do us part. On the other hand, some of us end up in the high percentage of 45 to 50 percent divorce rate which dictates, we will not stay together. At some point during or after your divorce, you will probably become interested in the possibility of finding love again. Statistics show 75 percent of divorcees get married again within five years. Even if, you think you’re ready for a new commitment, there are some things you should consciously examine before considering getting into another relationship.
great catch, so you don’t have to throw it back in. If you're actively pursuing a relationship, you might be saying to yourself, "I'm not happy unless I'm in a relationship" or "There's something wrong with me if I'm not in a relationship." This isn't true: there are a lot of happy single people in the world today. Completion and happiness can't come solely from a loving relationship with another person. Loving relationships succeed only when both partners already are happy and complete within themselves. A partner should complement and already have a fulfilled life, not complete an unfulfilled one. When two complete individuals unite together in their life's journey, they have the capacity to create the loving, passionate, committed relationship they desire. When you do decide to love, make sure it’s with the right person. At the end of the day, we all need to learn to “Live Life and Love It.”
You have to come to terms with a few things and willing to deal with past issues and emotional baggage. You also have to make sure after divorce you have learned to truly love yourself. You also want to be sure you have a clear sense of what you want in a relationSamantha Joyner is the author, of “The ship so you will not make the same mistake Woman Cheater, what she won’t tell you I twice. will, "available in paperback on her webI feel no one wants to live alone. We all need site http://outskirtspress.com/ someone to love. Just because, the first mar- thewomancheater ; Email her with your comments at riage did not work out, does not mean you WOMANCHEATER@gmail.com Follow her have to be alone. It is defiantly more fish in on face book: Author Samantha Joyner the sea, but you have to make sure that it’s a MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
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Born in Lafayette, LA, and raised in both Ville Platte, LA and Baton Rouge, LA, Free-Mac now resides in Baker, LA with her son. Free-Mac is an avid reader and decided to share her love of books with the world because reading and writing are her first loves. Her vivid imagination and creativity motivated her as a young girl to write short stories, music, and poetry which she has continued to do throughout the years. “Shoulda Just Killed Me” is her first published novel. She now balances being a wife, a mother, working a full-time job, and full time student working on her Masters degree in Elementary Education at University of Phoenix. FreeMac's script uses fictional characters to address issues corrupting the world today that people want to ignore. FreeMac's goal is to engage her readers and hopefully become a best-seller one day. Free-Mac is currently working on her second novel.
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ynopsis-
Have you ever asked yourself, “Can my life get any worse?” Well, Trinity has asked herself this question on a daily basis. Betrayed by her family and friends at a young age, she sets off on a path of self destruction using drugs, men, and anything else she can find trying to numb the pain. She didn't care about the choices she made; she just lived her life to the fullest.....or, so she thought. Eventually, a choice would be made that could cost Trinity her life. Will she find a reason to live and change her ways before it's too late? Or will she become a product of her environment, a mere statistic?
Find out what happens to Trinity when you read “Should’ve Just Killed Me!”
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How To Brand Yourself in 30 Seconds! Did you ever meet a person at a networking event and had to think before you answered this simple question “What do you do?” Did you ever notice how some people stumble when they are asked the defining question? Or some people just go on and on and after 5 minutes of non-stop explanation, you still don’t really understand the purpose of their business? Well I guess that at some point you were in one of these positions if not both. How can you introduce yourself and your business in just 30 second, making sure that you deliver your brand and benefit of your services? Here are the top 3 key elements to brand yourself in 30 Seconds
1. Perfect your Elevator Pitch If you want to be ready at any time, you need to prepare your answer in advance and rehearse it. The next time somebody asks you “What do you do?” you shouldn’t have to think of an answer. Start your elevator pitch by mentioning very clearly who is your target market and what their needs are, in other words, Their Problem. In just one or two sentences explain the benefit of your services and how you bring The Solution to this target market. Please don’t say as I hear too often “Oh my service is for everybody” because it is not. If you don’t have a target market with a common problem that you can solve you grow your business. You won’t be able to grow your business if you don’t know who is your target market. Take a few seconds to explain what makes you different from your competitors. What is you unique selling position? Don’t try to be technical or use the jargon from your industry because this generally causes peoples attention to wander. Use the formula KISS (Keep It Short and Simple). Be cautious not to tell your whole story. Instead, hook your audience, intrigue them so they will ask you more questions about you and your business. Think as if you were introducing yourself on Twitter, but instead of 140 characters, you have a few paragraphs to work with. Always finish you elevator pitch with a call to action. Tell people what to do next: go to your website, sign-up for your newsletter for free report, call you for a free consultation, etc…
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2. Make your Professional Business Card Stand Out The second step after you deliver your elevator pitch to somebody at a networking events or after any contact is to give your business card. If you have an effective elevator pitch but then give a crappy business card, you just lost a new potential contact. You need to have a professional image. For example printing your business card on your printer will not give you this image and it will make your business look cheap. Have a professional business card using color, your logo, your tag-line and your website Remember to use the back of the card to highlight the benefits of using your product or services. This will give you a professional image and help people remember you and your specialty in the future. Use the same color on your business cards that is on your marketing tools, business card, flyers, post cards, website etc… As you elevator pitch, put a call to action on your business card. For example, offer a free report or a free consultation and send people to your website to claim it. This action call will direct more traffic to your website and will build your list.
3. Have a Professional Website Obviously, you don’t have time to say everything you want to in 30 seconds. Your business card can’t say everything either. A professional website is your greatest tool to spread effective information about you, your business, your products or services and the benefits of working with you. To focus on your branding, again use the same color on all of your marketing tools, business card, flyers, post cards, website etc… Having a streamlined look will ensure that people will recognize you as soon as they see your materials. If you use different colors or logos on each material, people can feel lost and as a result they will never contact you. Now that you attracted them to your website, make sure they don’t leave without taking action. You can have a very nice and flashy website, but without a direct purpose and a call to action the extra money you spend is for nothing. You will need an opt-in box on each and every page of your website; you never know on which page they will decide to sign-up. You will also need an incentive for them to sign-up. Offering a bit of valuable information for free right away is the best option. Just mentioning sign-up for my newsletter won’t do the trick. The other advantage of having an opt-in box is that you know you are contacting your target market. Who else would sign up for your newsletter? If people are not interested in your services, they won’t give you their information. It’s as simple as that. Need more tips to attract more clients and grow your business! Go to www.TheConnectionQueen.com , to download Biba's 3 free gifts an book, an audio and a series of 6 videos
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Biba Pedron, “The Connection Queen”—Do networking like it’s a way of life….. By Desirable Jones
LIVING WITHOUT LIMITS MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
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ba is French and a native of France. She has lived in the U.S. for over 10 years. While living in France as a young girl, she always dreamed of starting her own business and living in the United States. As a child, she did not know much about the United States except the perception of what she viewed in the movies. No one in her family ever travelled to the United States, so she asked the question, why her? In 1992, was her first time travelling to the United States spending months visiting different states. She then arrives in New York, and when the plane landed, a warmth feeling came over her; she felt like she was now at home after being in New York for only one weekend. After returning to France, she was able to return to New York 10 years later. It was difficult finding a job, she proclaimed. At the end of August in 1997, she went back to France to start her own business. She had no idea what kind of business she wanted to start. She did know, she wanted a work at home business. She came up with the idea of having a virtual assistant business as this would have low startup costs. She spent three months during the summer at the library trying to comprehend American businesses. Throughout her research on educating herself about marketing, she kept running across the word “networking.” She knew that was a word she had to become well acquainted with because she recognized that telemarketing business was not going to cut it.
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Eventually, she attended her first networking event in New York, and because her not fully understanding the concept behind networking, she stayed for only two minutes. Biba stated she is a very shy person, and at that time, her English was not that well. Again, her understanding of what “networking” was as she stated, France did not have this type of events at that particular time. She then went back to the library and begin conversing with individuals to have a more fully understanding of “networking.” After receiving knowledge of “networking,” she started hosting networking events in New York and shortly afterwards, she received her VISA. Biba organized networking events in New York for five years and admitted still, it was difficult. Biba continued to increase her knowledge over the years, but her passion has always been helping others and connecting people. From her love and passion, she received the title, “The Connection Queen.” In May 2000, she tested her abilities to see if she can run her business from New York because she believed people in the United States are more successful. On March 31, 1998, she had no intentions to go work for someone else. On a Friday, she quitted her job and started her new business adventure on Monday. She expressed that everyone thought she was crazy, but, Biba’s thought process was she would never know how it would turn out if she never tried. People have always stated that it was easy for her to jump up and start a business. Her question to them, how is it easy for her? She expressed, people do not like taking chances and acting out on actions. It’s far too easy to make excuses on why we cannot do this or to do that. Her first year operating her business, she did not have any money, or vacation and was working extremely hard 12 – 14 hours a day because she believed in her abilities in becoming successful. She was a single woman, and with no children, there were no limitations that prohibited her from working hard in achieving her ambition in becoming successful. Because she was burning at two ends of the can-
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dle, working seven days a week, in 2005, she had a coach to assist her with working more efficient. Rather than working seven days a week 12- 14 hours daily, she decreased her work load by being more efficient and productive working five days a week. With her being able to practice her new and improve work behavior within 10 months, she doubled her revenue. Biba is a free spirit woman who did not allow fear to shackle her down. Standing on her beliefs and expectations that matter most to her, is what an entrepreneur woman needs to stand for. “Nothing in life comes easy, and yes, doubt will creep in, but the main challenge is to stay focus, seek assistance, guidance and believe in you.” What’s next with Biba? She continues to challenge herself especially when everything in life is going well, she becomes bored. She will continue to be what she loves, “The Connection Queen.”
“The
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AMBITION
What makes Cosha Hayes the woman she has become? Cosha is a woman who wears many hats. Through her life struggles, she started what she simply puts it, a “Brand New Me.” After being in one disappointment to another, she relied on her faith and initiative to begin writing as a means of self-therapy. What she found in her writing is an opportunity to publish her writing material to what is now her first novel, “Misconceptions.” Certain things in her life transpired, were the stepping stone to publish “Misconceptions.” A brand new Cosha Hayes adventured off as her company’s name, Bran Nue Productions located in Baton Rouge, LA. Her goal was and still is, to become a brand new person. That’s right, though her circumstances had her pinned down, she struggled to break through those circumstances and refocus herself on no one other than, “self.” As she started her journey as a new author, she later realized in two years how she transformed from MATUREWOMANNOW.COM
being an author but a manager for her two sons, (Kyler and Kaleb). A single mother working full time and balancing work and family was not easy for the entrepreneur woman. As a mother, she is elated to see that her sons are following their mother’s footsteps towards entrepreneurship. Her son Kyler designs his T-shirts Skayte and the youngest, but brilliant minded Kaleb composed his own book, “The Funny Chaps.” Being a single mother, a woman, in college, hardworking Cosha has sacrificed all into molding her sons to be not a statistic, but someone who stands for something that is positive. Never has she imagined then where she would be now.
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A
including Louisiana Divas, which depicts real-life testimos she mentioned, nothing was pre-planned includ- nies of four women. Her expectation is to make Louisiana ing her book. Her doors of opportunity opened when she Divas a household name to many. Young Entrepreneur published her first novel. Who what have ever thought, Initiative (YEI) is a direct reflection of her children as she her business consists of being a manager for her chilexpressed. This program is to assist other young people dren’s businesses, publisher, owner of Bran Nue Shoes, such like her sons to become an entrepreneur by equipan advocate for young upcoming entrepreneurs, Louisi- ping them with the basic fundamental knowledge to ana Divas and with Cosha Hayes, the list goes on. begin the process of their businesses. Her consulting business is to direct other self-publishing authors to fulfill In every business venture Cosha signs on, it’s all to motitheir dreams of becoming an author. As she was a new vate and inspire others. Her passion is derived from the author, and not knowing little about the process of pubsincerity of her heart. On the flipside, though she has lishing is her guidance now to detour other upcoming compassion in what she does and understands why she self-publish authors to avoid. Bran Nue Shoes are derived does it, discouragement still can easily creep in. Opportufrom her love of quality and affordable shoes. Her misnities later presented itself after publishing her first novsion for her shoe line is to attract many consumers who el: lack of support, inadequate marketing of products/ has the same expectation of good quality but affordable services and resentment from peers and friends escapricing. lating as far as stalking. Though, she knows that the most motivation a person can receive is from self, as a human Cosha Hayes last thoughts are never to give up on what is dear to your heart. Set realistic goals and reach for the being and with emotions, the disruptive reactions she stars. Friends and colleagues will come and go, the key to received from others still was quite concerning for her. To overcome those opportunities, she went back to the opening the door of your future and dreams, is to walk basis by revisiting her faith, acknowledging the power in through and not look back. prayer, stopped worrying about others opinions of her, and implemented a solid plan for herself and her business. Her plan to success is relying on mentorship; surround herself with positive ambition people, attending informative conferences, and learning how to expand her marketing skills. In addition to life balance, she became organized, lives by a to- do – list and weekends are only for her children and family. What thing she acknowledges as a business woman is that she wants Bran Nue Productions to leap beyond the state of Louisiana. Cosha mindset is not on a local level, but on a global level, and she recognizes a change soon will need to come. It’s her future goal to start working her business full-time and relocate elsewhere where opportunities are better and doors opening much sooner for her businesses. Cosha expresses that she will always place God first and continue to develop good relationships with good business minded, successful people. She looks forward to her new projects
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Kaleb, Cosha and Kyler
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