March Issue: Contents:
The workout to start out with Family Supper Letter from the founders Do Positive Affirmations REALLY Work? Quick Health Meal Liar in Kansas Ruby Dee
A Male's Point of View Christian Wife & Intimacy Say yes to accessories Ghetto Fantasy
Letter from the Co-Founders Simone Higginbotham Wow Mature Woman Now is in the third month of 2012 and we have grown in so many directions. The collection of Contributors and Content has expanded the globe. As I look back to March of 2011, Mature Woman Now was just in the stage of preconception. The magazine has grown by leaps and bounds and touched so many lives in so many different ways. I can honestly say that my motivation behind the continued pursuit of success of this journey is not monetary, but the opportunity to inspire and motivate a woman to walk out on faith and pursue that incredible dream. I hope that in the eyes of the readers Mature Woman Now has remained on the course of its mission statement to inspire and empower women from all walks of life. And if we have not, please call us on it as only a Mature Woman Now should.
Nicole E. Jones
Mature Woman Now since May 2011 1st issue has been in the nurturing stages. Now as of March 2012, she is in the stages of learning how to walk. Mature Woman Now is just now taking her first steps into success. As Simone and I are the proud parents of her, we are totally overwhelmed how fast time passed. Mature Woman Now has grown outside the state of Louisiana and act as an aide of inspiration, assistance and real life content that caters to women from all walks of life.
Ioana S.
I was born in 1973 “in Romania, Europe in a beautiful city amidst hills"; I had a charming and quiet childhood being a shy kid. I took my license degree in economics, worked as an economist for the last 11 years; I develop my online shop in 2009 and I have a daughter and married. It is a bit strange (or is it not?) when I'm trying to talk about myself, my mind just goes empty, and all the words just disappear so, I asked my best friend -What do you think my greatest strength is? "Creativity" she replied in a sec! Her answer just took me by surprise, it was one I did not expect - I mean I knew that about myself, but just did not consider it to be my strength. Well, that puts things in a different perspective. THIS is who I am! I am another creative woman out there, I am a mom, I am a working woman, meaning, yes! I do have a day job and own a handmade online shop on Etsy.com called FlowersByKara that I love! Flowers By Kara She also said that my weakness is that I am too nice…well, I do not know about that nor do I know if I agree or not, this being a weakness. I like being kind, I like to see the quality in people so, I show them Goodness. I do believe in the Law of Attraction – I knew that before I read about it in "The Secret – you do vigorous, righteous will come to you" (this is a popular saying where I come from).
The biggest obstacle for me is the lack of time but, that again, isn’t this the disease we all suffer in this crazy world? Aren’t we all trying to make the most of it? When you have a million things to do in your daily list, just one word seems to help PRIORITISE! Know exactly what you want and go get it! Don’t second thought it! Just go get it! Related to this comes the biggest challenge: to get out of this loop: I could create new flowers for my shop if I could have the time, I could have more time if I could do it full time, I could do it full time if I could quit my day job, I could quit my day job if my shop would bring me enough income to live with, my shop would bring me enough income if I could create more flowers. And so on…. How do I plan to get out of the loop? I just work my butt off! I sometimes stay up until 2 AM and wake up at 6AM to go to work. And I learned to love every second of it! My customers seem to know I love making these flowers, or do they feel that bit of my heart and soul I put into each of them….. I do, on the other hand, consider it to be an accomplishment doing all this: the shop, the day job, taking care of the family; I will say I am a successful woman when I will be able to quit the day job and be a business woman full time. Now I just think of myself on the road to success. I know I should have established goals – long term goals, short term goals. Where do I see myself in 3 years from now on, in five or in ten? I do see myself in a little cottage house by the sea doing what I love to do, enjoying my time. When would that be? Well, I hope sooner than later. I know I just have to put in a lot of work, a lot of care, a lot of love. It is my life that I am building.
M
A
ature Woman Now Charity Donation to‌‌ Alopecia. A percentage of funds sponsored by the 1st Annual Pink & Rose Gala will be donated to Alopecia Chapel in Baton Rouge, La.
lopecia areata is a common autoimmune skin disease resulting in the loss of hair on the scalp and elsewhere on the body. It usually starts with one or more small, round, smooth patches on the scalp and can progress to total scalp hair loss (alopecia totalis) or complete body hair loss (alopecia universalis). Alopecia areata affects approximately two percent of the population overall, including more than 4.7 million people in the United States alone. This common skin disease is highly unpredictable and cyclical. Hair can grow back in or fall out again at any time, and the disease course is different for each person. For more information on this disease, please reference to: The Link: http://www.naaf.org
Nikki G. Bannister is a hands-on print media specialist dedicated to implementing successful editorial, public relations and internal communication programs within corporate, small-business, higher education and non-profit sectors. The U.S. Navy veteran and freelance journalist has written for newspapers and publications throughout the United States including The Advocate (Baton Rouge, La.), The Times Picayune (New Orleans, La.), Kentucky New Era (Hopkinsville, Ky.), The Town Talk (Alexandria, La.) and Lancaster Eagle-Gazette (Lancaster, Ohio). From Hurricane Katrina to U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and from the manhunt for a serial killer to the Bayou Classic, she's been on the scene. Her public relations experience includes stints in communications at the Southern University System and MWH, a global project management, engineering and consulting firm. In 2006, her strong writing education and diverse public relations experience inspired her to create NIK SCOTT LLC., "editorial relations" firm created to "set the stage" for small business, rural, start-up and individual entities so they can move on to bigger things. Nikki is the author of the upcoming blog "Adventures in Life & in Sanity," and contributes to Association Trends Media Matters Next Generation, a site where she presents practical and "out-of-the-box" insight into the worlds of public relations and communications. You can check her out at FootballNation.com, where she is no stranger to the game of football or follow her at “The Spots Don’t Lie,” a blog dedicated to the athletics of her alma mater, Southern University and A&M College.
How can you find her? Kimberly Zanders It won’t be easy. This is a successful woman who lives fully and serves her community. Kimberly embodies beauty inside and out—and she’s busy! As, a licensed barber, and cosmetology instructor you may find her at a beauty school passing on her mature skills. You may find her at her salon at the Catholic/Presbyterian Apartments where for 7 years; she has cared for the beauty needs of retired residents and loyal customers who follow her wherever she goes. You may find her to continue teaching young girls etiquette, modeling, skin care and confidence at Barbazon Modeling School for young girls. You may find her on a computer maintaining her website www.louisianastylists.com where beauty professionals to Louisiana network and promote and where clients can establish a Louisiana stylist. You may reach Kim at the Cancer Society volunteering her skills in the “Look Good Feel Good” program to help cancer sufferer’s mind and maintain their best. You may find her at the general meetings of the Woman’s Council, an organization dedicated to connecting, promoting, and empowering women—as is Kimberly. Mature women are working women because their natural curiosity and manifold skills and expertise won’t be satisfied with the average. I asked Kimberly if she had a favorite book or one that had shaped her life or given her pivotal leadership. Without missing a hint, she responded “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Spiritually-minded women will be familiar with the position being spiritual minded. Women will not be surprise at all by this author best-seller’s impact on a woman; both a leader and consultant with a servant’s heart. One author said, “It is not the author who introduces a new concept who is most helpful, but the author who best articulates what has been unspoken within you.” This book helped Kimberly articulate what-- in her heart-- she already knew. She was born to make and her fate is about serving other people—professionally and personally. Perhaps that would explain why she took a year out of her life—time, energy, and resources to create a beautiful calendar to raise money for the Susan G Komen foundation. The calendar is an artistic photographic portrayal of appeal in the 30’s "in Louisiana’s culture". Does Kimberly ever relax? Mature women do. Kimberly reads, listens to gospel and jazz, and she loves to travel. She is excited about an upcoming summer vacation in Canada.
5.0 out of 5 stars Tearful expressions, December 17, 2011 This review is from: Voices Behind the Tears (Kindle Edition) This anthology was all i thought it would be. I'm so glad to have been a part of it. My rating was not based on my being a part of it. but on the content and the other stories. OMG if they don't bring you to tears or move you. id check your pulse. Domestic Violence is real and it affects all ages genders races as this books shows... From the youngest author in this novel expressing what she went through to the excerpts from authors novels to the real and true poetic flows... its moving and heart wrenching... Bravo to all 30 authors who took part!
Susie Labry Love people, extremely friendly and cheerful, well liked (don't know how popular but many say I am famous for all the networking, group leadership and how I get around to different meetings and events. "Great social networking on Facebook and the meetup.com," Groups in the fields pressing the flesh and making friends in every corner of the state with all kinds of people. My greatest strength I know of is centralizing a hub of information and resources, building and networking alliances of various micro groups around causes and massive Champion of Grassroots Efforts in various causes. Susie defines her opportunities in her own words. Making a living, drive, too much excitement, and crave excitement. Close Relationships dealing with My Asperger’s in Home relationships and some work relationships. Struggled all my life maintaining a career and difficulty finding work within walking distance and in typing a data entry field where I can only do one task and on a computer where I am exceptionally proficient at. I have had goals to enter politics and certainly never fit in political meaning I am "Politically Incorrect.” Difficulty in buying clothes to make myself professional and presentable, however, that did not stop me from going. Political campaigns since 1969 at age of 15. Have Political Science Degree from LSU. Had low paying jobs with small businesses most my life like mom and pop groceries and in business that folded, and at the state where I got laid off. Had a hard time finding meaningful/ gainful work where I could work enough to survive-for a single lady to survive? Only made minimum wage or just a bit over. Work History http://www.louisianasunshine.net/workhistoryresume.html Championed causes dealing with State Song making “You Are My Sunshine State Song” my first effort to learn the ropes at the Capitol, where my gratifying is and gain confidence. Helped lobby to get ‘You Are My Sunshine’ via telephone Constituents to get their Legislators to vote Yes and by visit the Legislators; championed grassroots efforts for Louisiana Film Industry Tax Credits by heading up Grassroots efforts to the State Capitol, the Legislature and Governor, in order to create, save, tweek, and enhance the Film Industry Tax Credits thru the internet such as Facebook, yahoo groups. The Hurd meet up New Orleans Actors meet up, and my own Baton Rouge Film Industry meet up which Don Lincoln and I have founded. I organized, and develop and founders, which now has over 2,000 Members, which I am President and chair. Susie helped many people in the film industry get vital information which helped get, they work. Susie helped people and businesses get answers in a snap, which made it easier to develop business gets work, and get work done. We also have Features Speakers, of those who were successful in the Film Industry to come speak. I also designed my own page of any and all hotlinks that I collect regarding the Louisiana Film Industry helps me give answers to many questions that are asked: http:// www.louisianasunshine.net/flimlinks.html .
Dr. Chandra Higginbotham I am originally from Baton Rouge, LA. I attended Tulane University in New Orleans then LSU Medical School also in New Orleans. Completed an Obstetrical/Gynecological residency program at UTMB Galveston. I completed my residency program in 1991, from there moved to Houston. My professional career has been quite varied. Initially I worked for Macgregor Medical Association until 1996. I then worked for various physicians who were in private practice, I also did locum tenens work intermittently. In 2003, I started my own practice, The Women's Health Solution. I am one of two physicians in Houston who have been certified as a Transitions Lifestyle Coach and I function as a Nutrametrix consultant to my colleagues. Recently I have begun a new venture; I have become a host for an internet radio show called "Health Chat with Dr. Higgie and Kat". Information about the show can be found at www.healthchat.co. The goal is to expose listeners to various other health professionals and practitioners of wellness. My passion is focused on helping my clients to optimize their health from a holistic perspective. The plan is to have a wellness facility that will facilitate the totality of my client's mental, physical and spiritual needs.
In, the middle of every difficulty come opportunity. Albert Einstein!
Chandra Higginbotham, M.D., FACOG www.twhs.nutrametrix.com www.drhiggiesmall.com
What? I have HPV!!! Okay ladies, don’t panic. Let’s briefly review what is HPV. Human Papillomavirus or HPV is a very common virus that is considered a sexually transmitted disease. More than 80% of women will acquire an HPV infection at anytime in their life before age 50. According to the Centers of Disease Control in Atlanta, nearly 25 million U.S. women have been exposed to this virus. This infection was most common among women age 20 – 24. However in my practice, I have detected this virus in all age groups from as young as 14 to 70. HPV is the cause of virtually all cervical cancers. But having HPV does not mean that you will get cervical cancer. Most women get rid of the HPV on their own. Usually within 2 years from exposure 90% of infected adults will no longer have the virus. Their body’s immune system may even fight off the virus before they know they have HPV. HPV can be acquired where there is any skin to skin contact in the genital area. Condoms do not provide complete protection. Having multiple partners may increase the risk of HPV, but all it takes is exposure from one infected partner. HPV has also been detected in the oral pharynx as well. So beware of cunilingus and fellatio practices. HPV is not a sign of promiscuity. It is impossible to determine when you acquired HPV or how long you have had it. HPV can hide in your body for years undetected, so please don’t go postal on your partner if you are informed by your physician that your HPV test was positive. You can “share” the virus with your sexual partner (male or female); however, there is no need to worry about passing it back and forth. Once you have been infected with one type of the virus, you cannot be re-infected with the same type. Unfortunately, men usually have no symptoms. HPV can be linked to cancer of the penis or anus, but these cancers are extremely rare.
HPV can physically manifest itself in one of two ways. You may be informed that you have an abnormal pap smear or that you have genital warts or condyloma. If your pap smear was determined to be abnormal, depending on the level of abnormality that was detected your physician may recommend a procedure called a colposcopy. This is basically looking at your cervix under magnified view to see if there are any abnormal changes that may require a biopsy sampling of cervical or vaginal tissue. Cervical dysplasia is the early manifestation of abnormal changes to the cervix due to the HPV virus. There are a variety of treatment options that your physician may recommend depending on the level of abnormality that was detected. As a brief overview, the treatment may include cryocautery, laser ablation, loop electrocautery excision (LEEP), cervical conization or expectant management. Genital warts are cauliflower like lesions of varying sizes that will grow anywhere on the male or female genitalia. The treatment will usually involve some type of destructive intervention to the infected area. This was a very brief overview of a significant problem that I deal with daily. I encourage all of you to just get tested! Ask your physician to perform a pap smear using a liquid based medium and ask them to perform the HPV test as well. Remember, when you prepare for your pap, do not go during your menses, do not use creams, foams, gels, douches or tampons for 2 -3 days prior to your exam and do not have sex within 24 hours prior to your exam. To my young sisters, keep your pearls to yourself. It takes a long time for a pearl to become cultivated and ready to adorn one’s body as a beautiful accessory. Allow yourself to also cultivate and grow into that beautiful young lady that God has meant for you to become. Remember to always love yourself!!!
To your health, Dr. Higgie
A Second Chance By Feisty Breast cancer awareness month is in October but, women and men get breast cancer year round. My grandmother, mother and sister all lost their lives to breast cancer at the age of 33. I knew I had breast cancer about 18 months before it was detected. I've always been well in tune with my body. I noticed a pulling in my left breast as if a vein were being uncomfortably stretched. Mammograms showed nothing at that point. The doctors said, I was being paranoid because of my family history but, they'd be cautious. I knew it was there. With the knowing also came peace about it. I began to pray because in my mind, I knew it had to be spreading. One evening I decided to take a hellish hot bath. The water was as hot as I could stand it. I closed my eyes and began to pray. I said "God, you and I both know the cancer is present. I can't die because all of these children are depending on me to raise them. Please help me because the doctors can't treat what they can't see." As I passed the washcloth over my left breast with water hotter than I've ever been able to withstand, a lump arose in my hand about half the size of a golf ball. I enjoyed a bittersweet moment because now my cancer was visible and could be treated but at the same time... I had cancer. I have endured the typical total hair loss, blackened fingernails and toenails. My bones have endured unbearable pain whereby it felt as if someone had sliced into the marrow and poured acid into them. My tongue became smooth. Everything I ate or drank smelled and tasted like gasoline. Those were my better days. Luckily, my fingernails never fell off. I went through a bilateral mastectomy as cancer was found in both breasts. I was diagnosed at stage three bordering stage four and was told from my first doctor just go home and prepare to die. I did, however, find a fantastic doctor in Christopher McCanless. He told me that if I believed in him and he believed in me and together we believed in God, I could be cured. I held onto that for the duration. Chemotherapy, radiation, several surgeries and going on five years later, I'm still here. I knew I would survive. There was no other option. Only months before my discovery of cancer, my sister called me out of the blue from Orlando and told me that she was about to die within a week or in a few days. The last I knew she was in remission. I had no idea her cancer had returned. She said she was hoping to get well again and didn't want to worry or burden me. She asked me to raise her two children who were 4 and 6 at the time. My own little girl was 5 and, I had a 15 year old too. I would not ever say no. I went to Orlando and got the children immediately. With family, there is no other option. You just do what's right. Raising a 4, 5 and 6 year old was like having triplets. They are now going on ages 10, 11, and 12. All of the children are honor students and in academically gifted programs. My 15 year old is now 21 and is a Dean's List Chemistry Junior at LSU, planning to go to pharmacy school. I am a single mom and my plates are full but beautiful. When I adopted my sister's children, they were living in a homeless shelter. They have slept on park benches and under bridges. They've endured some of the worst that life has to offer. My sister's breast cancer saved my life. Had she not been ill, I would have never known what to look for. She gave me a second chance at life and, I'm living it well. I don't worry about the little things that don't matter. I can see the beauty in a raindrop and often, I literally dance in the rain. Her children will never be in a homeless shelter again. They too have a second chance. Our life is beautiful because we embrace and appreciate and squeeze love out of every moment. Cancer usually comes to kill and destroy. In my case, it taught me how to live for the first time and, I'm never letting go of that.
Elite Black Diamonds Social
CLUB
Elite Black Diamonds (EBD) Social & Pleasure Club was formed on Feb 4, 2011 to educate singles, married, divorced, widowed, young and elderly women on life changing experiences such as building wealth, setting and reaching goals. EBD members are dedicated to providing community services and serving those in need. EBD will strive to better our community by first bettering ourselves and spreading the wealth and successes with others! Educating and empowering women is our goal. As a group we inspire one another, lifting egos and provide tools for change and growth for individuals and organizations throughout our community. We encourage others to increase their performance capability in order to achieve worthwhile purposes through understanding and living principles. We share our successes with other with the hopes of inspiring others to become successful as well. We laugh, bond, take time for ourselves and enjoy a stress free environment. We as an Elite Black Diamond, sparkle and shine above all! Feel free to be a part of the Elite Black Diamond Social & Pleasure Club.
Who Is Guy Brody Kitty Brody is the proud mother of Guy. As he reflects back, the best advice from his mother ultimately benefited his life through was, “You’ll have many associates But FEW Friends; if you live to be 100 yrs. Old. You will be able to count ALL Your Friends on One Hand and probably have some fingers left over.” A talented Radio Personality Professional with extensive sales, marketing and community relations expertise. “Guy Baby” was his childhood nick name. Guy has been broadcasting since he was 12 years old. Over a thirty year career, Guy has worked at more stations than you can shake a stick at: WEMX-Baton Rouge, LA- Air Personality, 5am-10am KDAY- Los Angeles, CA – Air Personality, 6pm-10pm KGFJ- Los Angeles, CA- Air Personality, 6pm-10pm KDIA- San Francisco, CA- Air Personality, 7pm-Midnight WGCI-Chicago, IL- Assistant Program Director /Music Director and On Air Personality, 6pm-10pm(Under the instruction of Walt “Baby” Love) WKTU-New York, NY- Air Personality, 10pm-2am WHAT-Philadelphia, PA- Air Personality, 2pm-6pm WDIA-Memphis, TN- Air Personality, 6pm-10pm KJMZ-Dallas, TX- Air Personality, 6am-10am KACE- Los Angeles, CA- Production Director and weekend swing air personality. Guy has many awards including: The Frederick Barrows Entertainment Award (Southern University BR Law School) 2002 Voted Air Personality of the Year (Urban Network Magazine) 2000 Voted Air Personality of the Year (Billboard Magazine) 2000
Allie is the owner of Weddings by Allie, LLC and her primary occupation is a professional wedding planner. She is a single mother of two wonderful teenagers. Allie’s greatest strength is a genuine love for people. Her short term goals is to complete a trilogy of books on wedding planning and how to start a wedding planning business which she has successfully started. Looking from a long term goal in Allie’s business is to have her school spread nationwide and initially becoming a motivator speaker. One of her hobbies is listening to motivational CDS and of course relaxing on a beach somewhere. One of Allie’s biggest challenges is having a difficult time delegating tasks to others. She states, “I realize in order for me to get more done, I must delegate tasks to others.” Allie now has assistants who are a tremendous asset to her business. When asked do she feel she is a success, she expresses, “Success can be a state of mind no matter what financial status you are in. If you think it, you are! So yes, I consider myself successful!” Allie Wester can be contacted on face book…
THE WORKOUT TO START WITH
The crunch
The Bridge
The lunge
The Plank
Burpees
The Duck walk
Squat
Leg drop
Push ups
Mountain climbs
THIS WILL EQUAL 1000 REPS OF EXERCISES WHEN YOU’RE DONE!!!! This workout is comprised of 10 exercises x 10 reps x 10 rounds. This is the Mount Everest of workout rep routines so make sure you are ready to hit it hard. Set your interval timer as a stop watch and get ready to move through all 10 rounds of this nightmare as quickly as you can push yourself while keeping proper form. The workout breaks down like this: 10 Burpees 10 Squat Jumps (getting into a squat position and jumping up into air) 10 mountain climb 10 Push Ups 10 Sit Ups or crunches 10 Tuck Jumps 10 Plank (holding for a minute) 10 Lunges 10 Leg Drops 10 Squat Thrusts
YOUR GOAL IS TO FINISH HARD……PLENTY OF WATER……EATING PORTION THE SIZE OF YOUR PALM…… WALK OR RUN AT LEAST A MILE A TODAY……DROP SODAS….. PLENTY OF
Bran Nue Productions Presents “Ghetto Fantasy” by Galvis Ardoin. C Hayes CEO of Bran Nue Productions, Author of “Misconceptions” takes on another task. Bringing something new and different to her production company that will truly grasp the eyes of many readers. Ghetto Fantasy due to release this March
synopsis Ja’Quan Peters suffered a dark and lonely Childhood filled with nightmares and despair while tortured by the true meaning of unhappiness. Abandoned by his father at the tender age of twelve, he was taken in by his uncle. He received the guidance and love that gave him hope for a brighter future. But, the sudden and tragic death of his hero surrounded his heart with pain and misery. The demise of his uncle gave him the key to success; all he had to do was grab it. That decision came with a choice between life and death. Will Ja’Quan ever become the powerful man that he was groomed and destined to be or will his dreams of prosperity become shattered as he tries to live his ghetto fantasy? You decide as he takes you through the ratchet streets of Baton Rouge, La. Where hatred, envy, murder, and deceit awaits at every corner and also where fantasies never come true. “It’s an honor to be able to make someone’s dream come true” C. Hayes on her project by Galvis Ardoin
Audrey Woodley
Audrey Woodley, founder of Changing Oasis Inc., is an experienced teacher, executive life coach and leader, who supports her clients in transforming their lives. She has over 17 years experience educating and coaching women. She has served on many leadership boards such as Changing Oasis, Women of Vision and Destiny, and Uplifting HER. Audrey loves her pumps and shares her testimony of how she made a decision to walk in those pink pumps to becoming a life coach. She earned her Master’s of Science in Leadership from Concordia University and writes a curriculum for Changing Oasis and Uplifting HER using the Condition Prayer Reflection (CPR) Model. CPR is a spiritual ritual, where one journals their experiences while reflecting on the lessons that were placed before them in getting past hurt; building a better person. CPR is a great way to heal the inner self to avoid self-sabotaging one’s dreams. Currently, Audrey is working towards receiving the Women’s Spiritual Counseling License and Certification with Women in Vision and Destiny. She is recognized for her brilliance and talents in which she uses to create Fearless Educated Woman (FEW). Changing Oasis helps men and women uncover their roadblocks and helps them to identify and achieve their personal and professional goals via self-discovery and empowerment workshops.
Allyn M. Stotz Allyn’s greatest strength is her personality and manages to get along with just about anyone because life is too short not to. Allyn might find faults with people, but always try to find the finest in them, as well. She tries not to take herself too seriously and enjoy people and life. She is a truly open and honest person. She states, “Sometimes I’m not so sure that plays in my favor but that’s who I am and who I want to continuing being.” Allyn is an excellent team player and, although, she believes in helping herself to the best of her ability, and she strongly strives to assist others in any way she possibly can. Allyn admits, she is the happiest when she is able to help someone else along the way. Allyn is a delightful children’s writer and have an immense passion for it. She never wants to stop living in a child’s eye. Her accomplishment is reaching her goal of becoming a published children’s picture book author. She researched for almost a year before and actually submitted her first story. Her first submission was in Feb. 2010 that first story was accepted by a children’s magazine. By Nov. 2010, she received her first book contract. She would have to say that is quite a significant accomplishment as most authors wait years before they are published. Allyn was extraordinarily lucky and found a fantastic publisher. Allyn opens up and expresses her thoughts (in her words). I believe my biggest weakness is my lack of ever feeling I’m strong enough at anything! I’ve just recently gotten my first children’s picture book titled The Pea In Peanut Butter published and yet, I’m wondering if I’m quite skilled enough at this. Was it a fluke? Will it ever happen again? Although, I feel strong and believe that I have the talent, there is that ever so present’ of doubt lingering in my head. So, that self-doubt is also one of my biggest obstacles and challenges. I simply have to stop doubting myself and realize that I can be as enjoyable as I chose to be by working as hard as I possibly can. Someone said, “You can accomplish whatever you chose to accomplish” and I fully believe that. I consider myself “working at becoming successful” as a children’s writer. Not only do I have a book published but, I’ve also been published several times in children’s magazines also an adult magazine. Allyn’s goal short term goal is to have another 50 books published! She smirks, “No, that would literally kill me from exhaustion.” But her number one goal is to get at least 1 picture book published a year as well as get published in one of the paper children’s magazines such as Highlights or one of the Carus lines. Allyn’s long term goal is retiring from her day job or at least working part-time and work full-time as a children’s writer. She also wants to have an agent by then. Plus, hope by then she will have writing workshops, school events, and whatever else it takes to make her shine bright in her own eyes. Allyn truly believe that being confident and proud of oneself, is the road to happiness.
The Plank
B
eing a woman in 2012 still has its moments where we do
not quite feel similar to our male counterpart. After all, for every dollar that our male counterpart earns, women earn only 0.76. Women can brag about wearing many hats and being the standard nurturer of the household, but I can’t help but wonder if we could do more than just stand on the shoulders of those women that came before us. Gender discrimination and segregation have posed considerable hardship on the woman’s movement, but many women around the world have challenged those beliefs simply by pursuing uncharted areas. One of the most powerful and successful women in history was First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. First Lady Roosevelt was an advocate for not only women’s rights, but human rights. I could never sum this story up without mentioning the roles that women have played in Korea and Vietnam (limited), but paved the way for those who followed. Since those days, we have had women in congress, time and even on Wall Street. Ladies we no longer have to be tied to the kitchen
with a baby on our hip. Women are now educated, empowered and inspired. As we continue into 2012, let’s be determined to pave the way for women that will take on our shoulders.
Ruby Dee Best known for her amazing performance in A Raisin in the Sun and American Gangster in which she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress has made many contributions to film, television, literature and social activism. Born on October 27, 1924 in Cleveland, Ohio, Ruby Dee a college graduate, acted in numerous Broadway shows before her breakout role in the Jackie Robinson Story in 1950, garnered her newfound recognition. Her acting career has lasted for over eight decades with a long list of credits under her belt. Her most memorable performances to date are A Raisin in the Sun, in which she portrayed an anguished housewife living in the projects and Edge of the City where she starred opposite Sidney Poitier in both films. Her television appearances were also memorable. She appeared in an episode of the Golden Girls but won an Emmy for her role in the 1990 TV film Decoration Day. She was also nominated for her guest appearance in an episode of China Beach giving her eight Emmy Award nominations to boast.
Her contributions to the literary world were masterpieces in their own right. Her marriage to fellow actor Ossie Davis penned a memoir “With Ossie and Ruby” In This Life Together was a celebratory work to mark their 50th wedding anniversary. This book took a look at the couple’s long union highlighting their personal and political struggles as well as their commitment to civil rights and the black community. She’s also written “My One Good Nerve” a collection of writing based on her one woman show and Glow Child and Other Poems” a collection of poetry about nature, passion, and hope gathered primarily with the inner city child in mind. No one can argue that Ruby Dee’s career was one of the most intriguing throughout the years. She has paved the way for woman of color to inspire them to create a career for themselves that anyone could be proud of. Her solid body of work speaks for her wonderful character and charisma she possesses. Not only is she a memorable actress, she’s a woman that stood up for what she believed in and she did not allow herself to become a victim. All men, woman, and children can take lessons from this actress, poet, playwright, screenwriter, journalist, activist and now legendary phenomenal woman.
"What's Love Got to Do With It?" By Charlotte Jefferson Huggins
"What is love?" Love is the most powerful energy known to mankind. It is generally defined as, "To feel tender affection for somebody, place or thing; to feel romantic and a sexual desire or longing for somebody; or to like something or enjoy doing something very much!” Well, what does the manual of life, better known as the Bible say about love? Well, first of all, according to the King James Version of the Bible, God is a God of love and peace. -II Corinthians 13:11. The Spirit of God, which is the author of the Bible, states that love can involve sex, which God instructs us to have between a man and woman who are married to each other; sex is experienced during emotional and spiritual bonding as in a marriage. Love also exists in families, friends, neighbors and pets. Many examples of love is found in the Bible amongst families like Noah and his wife, their sons and daughter-in-laws in the Book of Genesis; the love of Jacob for his sons, and the strong love that Mary and Martha had for their brother, Lazarus. Exodus 20:12, states, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Also, in Romans 12:10, it is written, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love…” The Bible primarily teaches us to love. Do you want to know the best way to get rid of an enemy? It is by loving them. Matthew 5:44. If you are unsure how to love, use Jesus as your example. He says in John 13:34, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” Also, He says in John 14:21, “The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him,” He says in John 14:21. “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you,” He says in John 15:12. So as we look to the month of February, in which the world refers to as the month of love, let’s stop and love each other 365 days of the year and not just set aside one month tolove. Be BLESSED!
Q.: I am a Christian man who wants to pleasure my wife but it always seems that she is never in the mood. I touch her in bed and she’s asleep or tired. I touch her during the day and she’s busy. I’ve prayed about this but can’t figure out what am I doing wrong? - Tory C., Plano, TX. A.: Without more information from you, I am unable to give you a direct answer to resolve your problem. I would tell you firstly, to know that it is likely that you are not doing anything wrong. I encourage you JP Dunbar to ask yourself the following questions to analyze where your marriage may be suffering: Sexpert 1. Has our lovemaking become predictable and boring? 2. Is she too consumed, overwhelmed, or stressed out? 3. Are there unresolved issues between us? Remember, sexual intercourse is more than a physical act, especially for women. Before a female’s body can become physically aroused, she must first be mentally aroused. \ Having said that, if you and your spouse have a history of arguing, and holding on to bitterness, this is likely the reason why watching the evening news is more appealing to you than making love. Communicate and resolve problems. If she seems to be multi-tasking, staying up late to work on the computer, or too consumed with the cares of life, ask what you can do to ease her load. And if your love life has become routine and is losing its allure create a little variety. Bedroom toys or stimulating creams are perfect for getting her in the mood.
Do Positive Affirmations REALLY Work?
Did you know that research has proven that just listening 10 minutes a day to a Positive Affirmation CD can change negative programming that you have had for years? How easy is that?! It is a well-known fact that if you utilize Positive Affirmations CD’s for a period of 21 to 28 days, you will be able to adopt the life-altering habit changes much more quickly. To prove to you that Positive Affirmations work, I’d like to share with you my “Amite River Bridge Story.” In 1990, I suffered from lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. I was a terribly sad and unhappy lady. I did not like or love myself. I was 40 pounds overweight, and I used food to numb the pain (emotional eating). I thought I was dumb, stupid, and a failure. Why I thought this way, I do not know, but I can tell you that I had an ‘Inner Critic’ that beat me up all day long with stinking thinking. I lived in Baton Rouge, LA, so I had to cross over the Amite River Bridge every morning going to work. I had just begun working Dr. Arthur Winker, (my hypnotist), who was teaching me about the power of ‘subconscious mind’ goal setting. I knew that research has proven ("that we have 50,000 thoughts a day and that if you think good/bad thought for 21 to 28 days in a row, it slips into your subconscious mind and forms a habit, and you honestly believe these thoughts are true"). I decided to take decisive action. I made a pact with myself to go to war with my ‘Inner Critic” and started repeating about 12 positive affirmations to myself 28 days in a row that I wanted to bring into my life every time I crossed that Amite River Bridge on the way to work.
As I crossed the bridge, I would tell myself:
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I am okay
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I am happy
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I am serious
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I am unique
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God loves me very much
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I am having a fabulous day
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I am successful
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I am confident
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I am slim and trim
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I am learning to like and love myself more and more each day •
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Day by day, I am getting better and better.
I am intelligent
Well, I’d hit that Amite River Bridge every morning, and in a weak, depressed, low, voice, I’d tell myself, “I am happy.” Then I’d think, “Linda, you don’t sound happy,” so, I’d say it again: “I am happy.” I’d hear that ‘Inner Critic’ say, “Linda, you don’t sound happy.” I would make myself start screaming these positive affirmations to myself three times in a row in a loud, boisterous, forceful voice, “I am happy. I am happy. I AM HAPPY!” until I repeated all 12 positive affirmations. Once I’d get across that bridge I could feel my endorphins kicking in and I felt so warm, alive, and HAPPY! Then guess what? The next day when I crossed the bridge, I’d be down in the dumps again, but I was so determined to form this new habit of saying positive affirmations to myself that I just kept it up. I’d start screaming again, “I am happy. I am happy. I AM HAPPY!” I did this for 28 days. Anyone who saw me screaming at myself must have thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. I literally talked myself to quality health from doing this every single day on the way to work for 28 days. What is the moral of this story? If you change the way you think, you will change the way you act. If you change the way you act, you will change the way you think. It's a win/win situation! Whether it’s successful weight loss, stopping smoking, experiencing less stress in your life, or building a career and life that you love etc., positive affirmations work!.
By Ashly Dabney From A Male’s Point of View For this month’s issue, I wanted to switch things up a bit. We often hear from our ladies about what their desires are with respect to relationships. So to aid us in our quests, I interviewed a few gentlemen from different walks in life to give some insight on their view of what they look for in a quality woman. The first distinguished gentleman to grace us with his presence is Mr. Jeremy Blunt. He is a Program Coordinator for the Youth Challenge Program. Mr. Blunt is married. He answered the questions as follows: 1) We always hear from a woman’s perspective what they look for in a man; please tell us from a man’s viewpoint what it is you look for in a quality female? “The qualities I looked for is a woman of God who loves him so, much that it creates a desire for me to love him so, much that I want to love him all the more so, I can know what it truly means to love her. Qualities will come naturally if she gets that right. But for me to name more would be to ask that she is dedicated, educated, sensitive, willing to communicate with me and have the patience for us to understand each other. Lastly, I would want someone who motivates me to fall in love with her all again every day.” 2) Do you feel that men are intimated by a female that makes more money? “No, I would not mind if my woman made more money than me. Financial status does not define you or determine your place in a relationship. God gives us that. In general, I do feel a lot of men feel that way. Meaning a lot of men feel intimidated. The second distinguished gentleman to give us his thoughts on this topic is Mr. Adrian Chaney. He is Owner/Massage Therapist at Sanctuary of Solitude. Mr. Chaney is married. He answered the questions as follows: 1. We always hear from a woman’s perspective what they look for in a man; please tell us from a man’s viewpoint what it is you look for in a quality female? I look for someone with a sense of humor, trustworthy, cultural (enjoys different aspects of life) open, minded wouldn’t mind trying something at least once, witty, smart, family oriented, on the same level spiritually, outgoing, and sociable." 2. Do you feel that men are intimated by a female that makes more money? "Some men are. Some of his friends don't see this as a threat or a problem. Some men are offended or intimated by a woman that is in the same league as them or better. Looking at years of men being the bread winners and, a woman being the homemaker, depending on the men, some men still operate in that mentality and have a hard time adjusting to the role reversal." With this being said, ladies if you wanted to know how different your wants, needs, desires are from men or how similar now you have it firsthand. If you feel that all men are intimidated by an independent woman you can eliminate that train of thought, as well. Not all men are intimidated by a take charge female. Some men are extremely comfortable with females that bring home more money or that of equal value. Hopefully this gives some of you so well pertinent insight on relationships in 2012.
We at The Original Me and Mrs. Jones' Bakery, invite you to visit us and begin, "A Love Affair With Sweetness!" Our desserts are made with you in mind as we bring you fresh baked cakes, pies and cookies, along with our signature cupcakes and other specialty desserts! We invite you to bring your taste buds prepared to begin, "Your Love Affair With Sweetness," that you will find only at The Original Me and Mrs. Jones' Bakery. Let us make your Christenings, Baptisms, Birthdays, Graduations, Engagements, Weddings and Retirements a little more memorable as we take your dreams, hopes and special moments and add our unique taste and design to them. Stop in and sample our desserts. Our Wedding Consultations are ALWAYS FREE, and our cakes are baked fresh to order. We are family owned and operated with Customer Service that reflect the same. We look forward to your visit! Donna M. Butler The Original Me and Mrs. Jones' Bakery 5630 Main Street. Zachary, LA 70791 225-654-5557 225-654-5058(fax) Hours: Mon - Fri 8a-5:30p. Sat 8a-2:30p. Closed Sundays
The Christian Wife & Intimacy By JP Dunbar, Sexpert – The L Bar
Boudoir Sessions
From 1999 to 2004, 52,569 persons in 29 states were diagnosed with heterosexually acquired HIV. Of these, sixty-four percent were women. 1 Thus, indicating that women make up more than half of those infected with HIV through having sex with a ‘straight’ male. It is this simple fact that Christian wives should be commissioned to a creating a standard of intimacy within their homes. It is not enough to sit in the congregation and hear a minister teach about King Solomon and his romantic heart or the attributes of a good woman. Christian wives must seek to liberate themselves from the belief that making love to their husband is something un pleasurable. The “We’re so happy” image portrayed when in the presence of clergy or church family should be what is lived once you have left the sanctuary. Specifically, the Bible speaks that lovemaking between the married is pure. 2
Remove the Obstacles Many times wives are bombarded by the daily cares of life like working a full-time job, taking care of daily household chores and caring for the family. As a result they may feel they’ve lost their sex appeal. Reassure yourself that you are sexy just the way you are. Remember that your body is fearfully and wonderfully made even after child bearing stretch marks and weight gain. Sexiness comes in all sizes and shapes and you have the right to love yourself as well as the commission to keep the sparks of intimacy at high levels in your marriage.
Take time to romance yourself. Spend 15 minutes periodically caring for your body. Take a look at those areas that are not your favorite and love them. See them through the eyes of beauty. Do not criticize or find guilt. Nurture your body. Consider applying light body oil or mud pack to your skin and remind yourself of your body’s beauty and sexiness. Put Sexiness To Work Sure every woman loves to be romanced, but remember that your husband wants to have eyes for only you. So, go after your husband! He is yours after
all. Seduce him like you did long ago. Try attaching a set of handcuffs to the steering wheel before he leaves for work with a note suggesting how he could use them when he comes home. Create visual stimulation for him and then follow through. Give him candles, but give him the best visual stimulation you can provide. Waiting Until It Is Too Late Human nature has a way of making us think that we have time; time to change, time to improve, time to correct our errors. Face the truth that the Christian wife has no time. Act immediately to avoid allowing infidelity the right to enter your home. And if it already has, take steps to forgive and renew your relationship. Start now! 1
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
2 Hebrews
13:4 The Holy Bible NKJV
JP Dunbar is CEO of The L Bar, an adult romance company whose mission is to raise the bar on love by empowering women everywhere to feel comfortable in the skin they are in while enjoying a life with intimacy. **Enjoy 10% OFF any purchase of adult romance products when shopping The L Bar Marketplace by using Promo Code: MWN101Q when visiting www.thelbar.com.
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Quick Health Meal n Salsa Prep time: 15 Start to finish 30 min Makes for 4 2 teaspoons chili powder 2 teaspoons brown sugar 1 teaspoon ground cumin 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (1 1/4 lb) 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 can (7oz Green Giant whole kernel sweet corn, drained ½ small red bell, chopped ½ small cucumber, seeded and chopped ½ cup Progresso red kidney beans, rinsed and drained 3 tablespoon lime juice ¼ teaspoon salt 1. In cup, combine chili powder, brown sugar and cumin. Rub both sides of chicken breasts with the spice mixture. 2. In large skillet, heat oil medium heat. Cook chicken in hot oil 12 minutes, turning occasionally, or until instant –thermometer inserted in the thickest portion reads 160o F and juices run clear. 3. Meanwhile, in medium bowl, stir together corn, red pepper, cucumber, kidney beans, lime juice, and salt
4. Evenly divide corn salsa onto 4 plates. Top each with a chicken breast.
Satisfy your cravings with healthy and smarter snacks 3 or 4 slices yellow, orange or red tomatoes interspersed with 2 ounces sliced fresh mozzarella cheese, then drizzled with 2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar and sprinkled with 2 teaspoons chopped fresh basil 1 1/2 cups red grapes (Total Calories: 360) Hardboiled egg and apple slices hard boiled eggs are one of my favorite on-the-go snacks because they are a complete protein source (they contain all nine essential amino acids) and are very satisfying for only 70 calories each. Pairing an egg with an apple provides the perfect salty/sweet combo. However, make sure to go organic with the apple because conventionally grown apples are loaded with pesticides! 30 minute Whole body Home workout
Side jump squats – 30 seconds this is a circuit workout, 5 exercises which you do 3 times Note: This is whole body workout with stress on thigh and stomach exercises 1. Squat + lunge forward + jump twist this exercise tomes all thigh areas and you feel the burn immediately, your thighs will tighten and cellulite will start to melt. 2. From push up on chair jumps or steps this is unknown exercise for stomach that burns belly fat and at the same time tones also chest and arms. 3. Single leg dead lift + side leg raise this exercise is a killer for back thighs and saddlebags. 4. Side step over a chair + knee up and twist you may think this is dangerous exercise for knees, on contrary, it straightens knees if done with proper form. This is exercise for thighs and abs. 5. Push up + legs open-gather this exercise tones stomach, chest, back, arms.
Prep time: 10 minutes 12 servings Ingredients 2 cups granulated sugar 9 cups of water 2 cups fresh squeezed lemon juice 1 cup cranberry cocktail juice Directions In a large pitcher combine the sugar and water, lemon juice and the cranberry juice. Stir vigorously until sugar is dissolved. Serve over ice and garnish with left over lemons.
Single, happy and refreshed.
By Chocolate Aquarius I am a sponge, soaking up life's lessons on a weekly basis. Mr. Square pants have got nothing on me. A trust-worthy co-worker of mine recently shared a thought-provoking article about the benefits of H2O. Sure, we already know we should be treating our bodies to at least eight ounces of the stuff, but I am amazed to learn about some other benefits of drinking water: Water helps to maintain proper muscle tone. It allows the muscles to contract easier. Water is required for those who are overweight, compared to skinny-minis. Water is helpful in the fight against constipation. I promise, I am going somewhere with this... What the water document has taught me as a single woman during the first week of 2012 is that my soul needs some refreshment. This is something to quench my thirst for freedom and provide benefits beyond my imagination. I have discovered the need to rid myself of all the negative people in my life, not just the ex... An ex and I were discussing a possible meet up during the holidays. At first I was like sure, why not? (Well...there is a reason he is my ex, so that's why not!) I texted him to decline the request and this fool went berserk. That's when I realized I had to pull out my “water”, also known as empowerment. I allowed him to type all thought he apparently harbored against me. (Do people still use the term “chicken head”? And if so, he dated me for two months...what does that make him?) I threatened to contact the police and, "guess what?" He disappeared. To make sure neither of us reaches out for email, I have blocked his email address. He used words to bring me down and control my thoughts for the day, but in the end, he lost the battle when he showed how much of a punk he is. He is crazy, but not that crazy. (Note: Whilst cell phones aren't allowed in a courthouse, text messages can be used in a court of law.) The take-away. To me, being single and happy not only means getting rid of the last man who has brought me down. For the first time, I realize that I must eliminate ALL the negative people (past and present): other exes, jealous people (unlike many of you, I don't want my haters to be my motivators...I don't want 'em two feet near me at all!) and others who wish me pain. Once I am rid of all those toxins, once I allow a mental and spiritual water to saturate my soul...I'll be single and
Say Yes To Accessories I love accessories; they can either break or make an outfit. Even though, accessories are personalized to an individual’s taste, there are still rules to follow that a lot of people seem to break. So how do you accessorize? Well, I have the answer for that, and it is remarkably easy. First it’s all about the fit, what will you step out in, what statement do you want to make, and simply what is your personality? These are the 3 questions you must ask yourself when picking those perfect pieces. So let’s start with the five must have: 1. Beaded jewelry that adds color and character. 2. Trendy set of pearls such as a double layered pearl necklace that you can wear long or short. Remember you do not have to stick with your basic pearly whites. Have fun with the black pearls and multicolored ones. 3. Nice set of bangle bracelets that you can stack, the more the better. 4. Mix metal pieces, these are your chains that usually are multilayered and have gold, silver, and bronze links. 5. Pieces that sparkle, this will include your glamour wear such as your crystal rings, bracelets, diamond pendants, and dainty crosses which, I like to layer with other pieces. Now these are just the basics that you can wear with pretty much any outfit. So here is a scenario, you are going on a girl’s night out. Dress code is dressy causal. Let’s say you grab a lovely blazer with a V-neck silk blouse and a whopping pair of denim with of course some startling platforms. This is already a well put together outfit, but you want to take it up a notch. For a more sophisticated look, grab a multi-strand pearl necklace that is different in length paired with some bangles and pearl earring, but for a look that is more hip and glam gravitate to your mix metals. The key to choosing the right accessories is not to overdo it. I find it is always ok to wear a bold necklace or a wrist full of bangles. However, if you are going to go bold in one area go light on the next. For instance, if you want to wear chandelier earrings that are full and long do not wear a bulky necklace. When you do, too much attention is drawn to multiple areas and people may lose focus. So decide what statement you want to make and where do you want the focus to be. Whatever you choose make sure it’s a piece you love, one that is versatile, and one that fits your personality. Remember any outfit can be admired when the right accessories are added. So have fun with your look and remember say yes to Accessories! Erica Lee Independent Beauty Consultant Mary Kay San Antonio, TX Cell or text: 337-326-6217 Website: www.marykay.com/eslee
FAMILY SUPPER Ardessia Groze de Vaughn “Girlfriend let me tell you about our family supper. It is always chaotic.” “Who are we waiting for now? They are always late. We told them 4:00 PM.” “Who made the potato salad?” “Who fried the chicken?” “Did you eat any of those greens? Were they clean?” “Why did she do the dressing? There is no taste. It is bland.” “What is that?” “Girlfriend, if you have to ask, “What is that?” I’m not eating it.” “She can’t even cook. She needs to bring the drinks, paper plates, eating utensils and napkins.” “Who’s house is the supper at next week?” “ We need to plan the menu now, and who’s going to cook what.” “Girlfriend, what is that she is wearing?” “I don’t know, but it looks to me that she should have left it in the store.” “These family suppers have not been good to me. I know that I’ve gained a few pounds, but girlfriend, if I look like that, you need to pull my coattail, if I can stand up.” “We have too much food at these family suppers, and everyone should bring their own to-go containers.You never get your Tupperware back.” “Why do we always have to cook? That’s why we gain so much weight. We enjoy our own food, and we have enough to eat tomorrow. We should go to a restaurant. That would eliminate all that excess food.” “Is there anymore sweet potatoes and peach cobbler? Girlfriend, did you make a dessert?
Dear ASK THE MAN,
I have taken me a while to convince myself to write and ask you for advice. I actually feel awful silly, what you could tell me that I don't already know. I guess I should go on with it. The man I have loved and lived with for seven years maybe cheating on me. I recently went through his phone contact list and recent calls made and received. There, I found names of women I don't know. I also found a number that dialed quite often and, I dialed it, to my surprise it was to a chat line for singles. I have not asked him about this because I know he will deny it or probably leave me. What do you suggest that I do?
Living with a liar in Kansas
The first thing that comes to mind is why haven't you confronted this man? I know that you say you fear that he will leave you, but is he worth holding on to if he is perusing other women. Some men and women have the word commitment all misconstrued. When in a committed relationship, one is true physically and emotionally true. Although some feel, that penetration has to take place to quote, unquote be labeled has cheating. Those are the ones that are just making excuses to get them some on the side. I suggest that you confront that man and get to the bottom of the situation. You should be prepared to hear something that you may not want to hear. Livings with a Liar just use your five senses to come to the right decisions.
Good luck, AskTheMan