Mature Woman Now Magazine NOV-DEC Issue by Mature Woman Now Magazine

Mature Woman Now

NOV / DEC 2012 HOLIDAY ISSUE

Lose Weight Over the Holidays Living Without Limits Somebody Oughta Testify Samantha J's Juice Love & Relationships Boudoir Sessions Intimacy & A Virtuous Woman

Y'Anna Crawley

BET's Sunday Best Season Two Winner Speaks on past, present and future

Pg. 22

Contents MATURE WOMAN NOW

Catering to Women From All Walks of Life

FEATURES

10 13

Pink & Rose Event

Cooking With Chef Jeff Hunt

Ask The Man: Saved and Desperate

Magnolia Wives Part III

Boudoir Session

Lose Weight Over The Holidays

A Virtuous Woman Indeed

By Desirable Jones

By JP Dunbar

By Adraine Conrad By Felicia Hull

NOV-DEC HOLIDAY ISSUE 2012

Continued on Page 4

Happy Holidays! Contents 7

Samantha J's Juice Love & Relationships

8 12 14

Getting To Know Chef Jeff Hunt

Geno Jones On The Game of Love

Somebody Oughta Testify

The FaceBehind Changing Oasis, Inc.

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Virtuous Woman in Me

Are You Aware That It's 11:40 Linda's Confession

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

Editor In Chief Nicole E. Jones

Illustrator

Brandon J. Jolly

Contributing Writers

Adraine Conrad Ashly Dabney Desirable Jones E. Claudette Freeman Felicia Hull JP Dunbar Linda Allred Marsha Snead - Williams Samantha Joyner

Contact Information

Mature Woman Now Magazine, LLC. P.O. Box 74433 Baton Rouge, LA 70874 www.maturewomannow.com maturewomannow@gmail.com Office (225) 916-8283 or (225) 803-0837 Fax (225) 330 - 4711

Letter From The Founder Mature Woman Now Magazine has grown beyond my expectations. Though, we are a small publication, we have made prodigious milestones. The beliefs and the purpose of this phenomenal magazine have parallel amongst other women magazines. What makes Mature Woman Now unique, is appreciating the value of our average day to day women. This publication fosters those women who have struggled and some who are still struggling to pursue their life endeavors. Whether it’s going back to college, or starting the new business she always wanted to, but was frightened of failure. It all balls down on inspiring other women such as ourselves that they too, can achieve any goal they so desire. As we move towards the end of 2012, reflect back and ask yourselves, what were your limitations? Did you obtain your goals? If not, what could have you done differently? When setting goals, set realistic goals. Become an advocate of yourself and stand on your beliefs. Become determined that no one, including you, will be an obstacle in 2013. As a mature woman, it comes with wisdom and knowing our self-worth. The only persons who knows our self-worth is us. As 2012, is coming to an end, do not waste any unnecessary time or energy reflecting on the negative transactions in this year. Learn from what life taught us and apply our new knowledge to what is expected in 2013. Always be truth to you, and everything else will fall into place. As the year closes for 2012, what is in for Mature Woman Now Magazine? Very cogent question… In 2013, with the aide of God and his enormous grace, our contributor writers’ staff, subscribers, businesses, supporters and the A List Inc. Management Agency, Mature Woman Now Magazine will continue to strive to become a nationwide publication. We are in the making of visiting every state in the United States to increase our brand and subscription base. We look forward to be in distribution centers nationwide. I want to thank all who played a vital role in Mature Woman Now Magazine success in 2012.

CEO

Nicole E. Jones NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

WOMAN II WOMAN

Samantha J's Juice

& love

Relationships What Does Marriage Mean to You? Is It From Death Do Us Part? Wow! Marriage a scary word for some, and nothing to others. The word marriage is thought of as a life sentence without parole. Marriage, is it done out of love or kindness? Is it done for entrapment? Should it be just a commitment? If people spend as much time in the relationship, as they did on their wedding, it would be a different story. I am a true believer; if you keep putting in the same things, you get the same results. You may consider marriage as merely a matter of living with another person, or having a roommate with special privileges, which has no other deeper or unusual meaning. Marriage in such cases becomes a box you check on tax returns and describes your present living arrangement. Another variation on this, is when marriage describes the main person you are sleeping with. It does not mean you are bond to them or they have specific claims on you. It simply means you have a legal backstop so that you always have one person to keep your bed warm, even though, you avoid any claim of exclusivity, which is often termed as an 'open marriage.’ You may be one of those for whom marriage serves a deeper purpose. For you, marriage is a momentous deep relationship with another person. It is about having a distinctive sense of connectedness and union. This is more than just overcoming your separateness. You want and desire having a particular closeness with someone else. You believe marriage is joining two people as one on many levels at once. Marriage is all these things, to different people. What should marriage downright mean to you? It should not be a Jail Sentence; it should not be the five year itch. Marriage should be matrimony where God has joined

you together, and no man can separate it. You should not go into a marriage for any reasons but to become one. It should not be used to control the other person or entrapped them. What God has put together, no man should be able to tear you apart. That’s if God puts you together. You should go into a marriage with the mine set, that they are your business partners. If you form a business with someone, then a business is to prosper, and flourish into something long lasting . The divorce rate is unusually high today. People are just getting married for the sake of marriage, and not for the right reasons. The concept of marriage and family is changing. Although marriage is more valuable than ever, what people mean by the term 'marriage' is changing. In Biblical times, marriage was a blood covenant. Being in a covenant, the joining of the two people was a long term commitment. In a covenant, the two parties joined all their resources, and the arrangement was life-long. Not only was it life long, since the covenant was blood based, it extended beyond your lifetimes. Marriage does not always work out this way, and this is because marriage has had so many other meanings these days, until it is not taken seriously. May all of you seek healthy marriages, and make it what it should certainly be in the eyes of no man but the two of you. Email me and let me know what you think. Until next issue, Live Life and Love it! Samantha Joyner is the author, of “The Woman Cheater, what she won’t tell you I will”, available in paperback on her website http://outskirtspress.com/ thewomancheater ;Email her with your comments at WOMANCHEATER@gmail.com Follow her on face book: Author Samantha Joyner NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

WOMAN II WOMAN

Are You Aware That It's 11:40? by E. Claudette Freeman The day had been exhausting. There was one client’s psychic character; another client’s character battling (and losing) his midlife crisis; trouble with books in production and I was pondering the start of my next book. Let’s not even mention the single mother and household duties that included chasing the dog that believes it is her responsibility to run out of the door every time someone opens it. By the time I snuggled up to the warmth and comfort my three pillows provide, all I wanted to do was dump everything in the divine locker assigned to me and dive into the sweet manna that slumber provides. Why was that not the case? My head was literally hosting a conference for the array of literary projects which compromise my work day and I needed them all to go home or at least get out of my head. I wanted to have a mindless moment so my dreams would not be intensely interactive. The conference merely temporarily adjourned so that Ole Maker (as Zora Neale Hurston calls God) could have a little chat with me. I rested my head on the pillow, wrapping my rather robust pecan-tan arms around it and closed my eyes. No sooner than I felt my eyelashes tickle my face I heard a voice say, “It’s 1140.” I thought nothing of it. It could have been 11:40; I had been watching a repeat episode of Frasier. The voice said again, “It’s 1140 time.” Okay, I returned my eyes to the open position and grabbed my cell phone from the book case next to the bed. 11:08pm. It was not 11:40. The voice spoke again, “It’s 1140 time. Will you push through the 11 or turn around and relapse towards 40?” Instantly, I recalled Televangelist Joyce Meyers’ biblical message that morning. She emphasized

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

that it took the people that Moses was leading 40 years to make an 11 day journey. Why was that important? Why was I being drawn to this obvious truth in my life – was is time to make an 11/40 decision? Of course it was, because the interrogation was the invitation to a tremendously trying few weeks for me professionally and personally. Would I be faithful enough to stay the 11 day course or would I let the tears and the pain of the process prolong my intended blessings. I remembered the first time this question was posed to me in a real life occurrence. I was heading to an appointment when the strangest thing happened. I pointed my Mazda north and about a quarter of a mile from my apartment the car made a strange noise. I was startled (car troubles freak me out.) I turned around and went back to the apartment complex. Like a dutiful driver, I checked the tires, looked under the hood and even got on the ground and looked under the car. Nothing looked wrong or out of place. I headed north towards my destination again, at the same spot the car made the same noise. I turned around yet again. On the fourth time (yep I was on a merry-go-round), I said, ‘let me just keep driving if something happens, I’m on a local road and I’ll be okay.’ When I kept driving on the fourth cycle, something said, “Look back.” The sound was not the car, but a small pile of gravel in the road. That’s why the noise occurred in the same place each time. I ended up being an hour late to an appointment that was only 20 minutes away from my home. 11/40! Isn’t it funny how we inadvertently, or as I like to say with eyes wide closed, choose to take the journey that will take 40 years as opposed to 11 days? We do it because we get stuck at that one spot on the road. We do it because we fear moving forward will be detrimental. We do it because perhaps going back seems to be the safe or comfortable thing to do. We do it because we hear the sound of potential trouble resounding in our life. We do it because we never consider that the process of the journey may present some challenges. Thus, when the challenges arise, we turn around and look for some reason or excuse that is not there, when we should continue in a progressive fashion. Don’t misunderstand me - the 11 days can be just as

difficult, challenging, harrowing and even as filled with traumatic events as the 40 years. The difference is how you process, press and pursue through of all of that to your purposed promise distinguishes whether the storm will blow for 11 days or 40 years. Think about it – is the thing you have sought only delayed by your fear, distractions, disobedience, or unfaithful commitment to self? I encourage you to do something that may seem very elementary, but try it for the sake of you. Draw a clock and make the time 11:40. That means the little hand is on the 11 and the big hand is on the 8. On the face of this clock truthfully explore which timetable you are on, the one that moves you to the top of the hour; or the one that leads you back to the bottom of the hour. On the face of this clock write out the things that represent gravel on the road, the safe or comfortable places for you to run back to, the things that you have not done or are procrastinating about. In your 11/40 decision are you moving counterclockwise? With each thing you write, look for its intrinsic cause. For instance if your timetable is moving counterclockwise because of fear – what is the thing that triggers the fear?

Is it past failure? Is it unworthiness? Is it finances? Is it your relational environment? What is it? Once you identify the intrinsic cause, determine what and how you can break away from it and move forward. Perhaps it is through prayer, or connecting to a mastermind group or counseling – whatever works for you. But do it! What time is it? It’s 11:40? How much more will you prolong the journey? ~~~~~~ Word Stylist E. Claudette Freeman is an award-winning playwright and novelist. As the creative force behind E. Claudette Freeman Literary Services she works with aspiring authors in a coaching, editing and ghostwriting capacity; while facilitating literary empowerment workshops in different venues across the country. She is the author of the novels Sheltered Deliverance (available on Kindle and Nook) and When I Danced with God (in progress); and the journals: The Morning Hour, Fabulous You Power Nuggets and If I Write It, It Can Heal. Visit her website at: www.eclaudetteliterary.com

& Event

Pink

Rose

Mature Woman Now Magazine Presents its 1st Annual Pink & Rose Event. This event was held to introduce Mature Woman Now Magazine in the hometown of Baton Rouge, LA. Mature Woman Now Magazine is the only publication in Louisiana who brings a touch of finesse and creativity to its readers. In attendance of its 1st annual event were many supporters, contributor writers and fans.

Dana Ayo Owner of “Hair Divinity & Accessories

Kiera Johnson -Robins and Michelle Tapps Vicks Owners of H2BN Naturals Products

Yvonne Stallings (left) – Body By Vi Challenge

CEO Nicole Jones Book Signing of her 1st Novel, “Dying To Be Loved”

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

LIFESTYLE

Vendors Tyrone Dunn & Crystal Franklin

Recognition to Adraine Conrad- Contributor Writer Health & Fitness Column

Recognition to Felicia Hull- Contributor Writer Woman II Woman Column

Ardessia Groze DeVaughn Contributor Writer (right) writer of Girlfriend Let Me Tell You Column

JP Dunbar CEO of The L Bar and Contributor Writer of Boudoir Sessions

CEO Nicole Jones (left) & CEO Cosha Hayes Owner of Bran Nue Productions

April Williams Executive Assistant of Mature Woman Now

NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

A BETTER YOU

Linda's Confession

by Linda Allred

Have you taken the “Sugarholic” Quiz on my website at http://www.lindaallred.com/take-the-sugarholic-quiz? If you haven’t yet, I encourage you to take it right NOW and find out if you are a “Sugarholic.” If you discover that you are a “Sugarholic,” don’t give up hope because I am going to make you feel better and make a confession. Linda’s Confession: I was a hopeless “Sugarholic”, I was obsessed with food, I was addicted to sugar, I was addicted to carbs, I was addicted to chocolate candy bars, I was addicted to ice cream, I was a closet eater. Let me tell you about my past life, back when I was an unhealthy, miserable, unhappy, fat, 40-pound overweight lady. Hey, back then if you gave me a choice between a steak dinner with a baked potato topped with sour cream, butter, cheese and green onions, or a warmed chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream on top, I would go for the chocolate brownie with ice cream on top every time! Why? Because, I was a hopeless “Sugarholic.” Back then, my typical breakfast consisted of two warmed honey buns with a cup of hot tea with two teaspoons of sugar. Lunch consisted of a large hot sandwich on a bun, a large serving of French fries, and then I’d top it off with one of my favorite king-sized chocolate candy bars for dessert. My dinner usually consisted of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, two biscuits, macaroni and cheese, and I’d top that off with a big bowl of ice cream for dessert. I thrived on my ‘sugar high’ all day long. I’d also drink at least eight to nine colas a day which we know are loaded with sugar. Then I would complain to my husband, “I just don’t understand why I am so overweight! You see what I eat, and it is not that much.” Whoa! Back then I did not know that my stomach (in its natural size) is about the size of my fist and through my overeating, I’d stretched it to the size of a basketball. I thought what I ate was ‘normal.’ When I think back, I realize I was obsessed

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

with food. While I would be eating my breakfast, I was fantasizing over what I would eat for lunch. When I was eating my lunch, I was fantasizing over what I wanted to eat for dinner. When I had finished my dinner, I would fantasize over what I was going to eat the next day. I was truly obsessed with food and food controlled me. Food ruled my day! All I talked about to my coworkers, friends and family is what new fad diet I was going to start the following Monday. Of course, you know every new fad diet restricts you from eating from some food group that you love, so I would last about two weeks and then my mind and body would scream, “I want my desserts back! I want my mashed potatoes and gravy back! I want my macaroni and cheese back! I can’t stand this anymore.” And, my yoyo dieting would start all over again. Starve or binge, starve or binge, there was no in between. On the day I took my “Sugarholic” Quiz, I had an awakening. I finally confessed I was a hopeless “Sugarholic. WOW! They say confession is good for the soul. HA! I also finally confessed that I needed help. This is when I decided to see if learning SelfHypnosis could help someone as hopeless as me. Learning to practice Self-Hypnosis changed my life so profoundly for the better that twenty years ago I took a leap of faith and left a very successful 17 year career in the field of Human Resources to start my own hypnosis practice, because I was determine to figure out the secrets to lasting weight loss. Are you beginning to see that maybe, just maybe, I am a lot like you? Are you beginning to see that maybe, just maybe, I have probably done every little food game/trick you have done and then some? So why am I telling you all of this? Because if I can learn how to lose my extra 40 pounds using self-hypnosis and KEEP it off for 20 years, then you can too! I am proud of my success. Linda Allred, THE Bad Habit Breaker/Certified Hypnotist. To apply for a complimentary Break Your Bad Habits/Beliefs Strategy Session with Linda, receive 5 Special FREE Gifts and her bonus audio recording “How Do I Get Slim NOW?” visit http://www.LindaAllred. com, call 225-275-2451 or email Linda@LindaAllred.com today! FaceBook – LindaVAllred.

A BETTER YOU

Cooking With

Chef Jeff Hunt

The Starter: Stuffed Mushrooms 1 lg container of whole mushrooms 1 lb sausage Fresh Sage (chopped) 2 c Shredded Cheese (4 cheese blend) 8 oz package of Cream Cheese (softened) - Wipe mushrooms clean and remove the stems. - Brown, drain, and crumble sausage. - Combine sausage, cream cheese, and sage in a food processor. - Stuff mushrooms with sausage mixture, top with cheese, and bake in 350 degree oven on parchment paper lined tray until cheese is melted. - Blot mushrooms on paper towel to absorb any liquids left over after cooking and serve. The Salad: Asian Pear and Baby Field Greens with Candied Nuts 2 lg Asian Pears (peeled and cored) Mixture of your Favorite Baby Greens (Spring Mix, Spinach, and Savory) 1 pkg Candied Nuts (your choice) Gorgonzola Cheese (crumbled) 1 pkg Cherry or Grape Tomatoes - In a large bowl, mix together the greens. - Add in layers of the Asian Pear (Chopped or Sliced Thin) and tomatoes. - Add nuts and crumbled cheese. - Toss with a Raspberry or Pear Vinaigrette Dressing The Finisher: Oreo Ice Cream Pie 1 pkg Oreo Cookies (regular or golden) 15.5 oz 1 stick Butter (melted) 1/2 Gallon of your Favorite Ice Cream - Take one row of the Oreo Cookies and separate them (removing the cream). - Crush cookies and add the melted butter in a bowl. Stir until cookie crumbs are moistened. - Place mixture in a glass or ceramic pie dish to form crust. - Scoop the ice cream into the crust and put in freezer.......

The Main: Pork Loin Roast Brine 1/2 c Honey 3 tbls Black Peppercorns Bay Leaves (approx. 20) Thyme (approx. 15 sprigs) Parsley Garlic Heads (cut in half) 1 c Kosher Salt 3 qts Cold Water 4-5 lb Pork Roast (boneless and tied) Rub Paste Rosemary (chopped) 1 tsp Crushed Red Pepper Garlic Cloves (thinly sliced) Lemon Zest Salt (pinch) 1/4 c Extra Virgin Olive Oil 2 tbls Canola Oil - Combine the brine ingredients in a sauce pan with one quart of water to dissolve the salt. Bring to a boil and let cool. Add the rest of the cold water and the roast in a large container and refrigerate overnight. - Drain and pat dry.... (Be sure to remove any left on seasonings) - Put all of the rub ingredients (except oils) in a food processor and make into a paste. Stir in the olive oil. Rub half of spice paste on the lean side of the roast and let stand at room temperature for two hours. - Pre-heat oven 350 degrees. Set rack on a large, rimmed baking sheet. - Heat canola oil in a large cast iron skillet or griddle, until simmering. Add pork side down and brown over medium-high heat for about 5 minutes. transfer roast to rack, ( fat side up) and cover with the remaining paste. Roast for an hour or until internal temperature at the thickest part reads 145 degrees. - Let the roast rest for 20 minutes before slicing. **Suggested Sides** SautĂŠed Cinnamon Apples Grilled Asparagus or Tri-Colored Roasted Potatoes NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

A BETTER YOU

Getting To Know

Chef Jeff Hunt Jeff Hunt became a professional chef when he started his catering service, 920 Services, in 1996. Working for 15 years in the corporate scene, he found it challenging and lucrative but ultimately unfulfilling. Highly influenced and inspired by his father, and putting his trust in a force higher than himself to guide him to use his culinary gifts and talents in a way that would bring joy to others, he left the corporate scene and landed in the kitchen after receiving his culinary training from Central Piedmont in Charlotte, North Carolina. It was like coming home. The kitchen was where he grew up. It was working for his father’s popular 50 yearold catering service (Joe Hunt’s Catering & Bartending Services) whose reputation among Charlotte locals was “you didn’t plan a party without Joe Hunt”, is where his intuition first led him to create the foods of his native North Carolina and later for his own specialized catering service where the inspired recipes of his imagination, both culinary and otherwise, found a receptive outlet. Chef Jeff has provided catering services for events that included Madam President of Liberia, Ellen JohnsonSirleaf, and John Belk (former mayor of Charlotte and head of the Belk department store chain). Chef Jeff emphasizes cooking with an international flair, introducing multi-cultural dishes into a constantly evolving, diverse menu for his clients. His cooking background is strongly rooted in American classic techniques, but his cooking mentality is cutting edge. He brings over 20 years of meticulously crafted upscale southern-style cuisine, combined with his original, innovative style of emphasizing regional culinary practices.

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

In May 2012, representing the city of Charlotte and the U.S., he expanded his culinary reach to cook alongside some of the best French and German chefs during a two-week tour in Limoges, France. The tour included an opportunity to showcase his culinary talents in a Guest Chef’s Night at the popular Pont St. Etienne restaurant where his pan-seared salmon with white cream mushroom sauce will now be featured on its menu at the request of owner, Chef Sylvain Anthony, and at the famous Foire Expo where he served his southern barbecue with homemade sauce ― dubbed The American by the locals. His growing popularity in Limoges also led him to teach a group of high school students, at the Lycée Jean Monnet, how to prepare his chicken and waffles dish. His worldly experiences will soon land him a spot on a network production team for a culinary reality show for children that will target health-related issues including childhood obesity. He has also extended his culinary experiences toward more charitable efforts within and outside of his community. Since 2002, he has cooked for handicapped cyclists during their annual 180-mile trek from Charlotte, North Carolina to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for the Cycle to the Sea event, prepared meals as a guest chef for Baltimore’s annual Chef’s Night Out to help support new start-up or failing restaurants, and continues to cook for the underprivileged and homeless. Featured News Stories: ABC2’ s Good Morning Maryland – Cooking Segment with Chef Connie Johnson Limoges – May 2012 – Le Popu newspaper article Limoges – May 2012 – Info Magazine article

THE READING ROOM Ms. Larita Rice

Larita Rice is the author of “Trapped in the System,” and songwriter of her CD debut, “Birthed in the Fire.” The inspiring evangelist, writer, empowerment coach and just to name a few, is also a single mother of two daughters. She has an Associates of Arts in early childhood education and currently pursuing her Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice. Larita express, she has been writing music since the age of 12 years old. Her passion and drive are to coach and empower young ladies at the ages of 14 and up. She has no problem sharing her life challenges and obstacles she endured during those tendered adolescent years. She admits to her environment was centered on drug addiction, alcoholism, gangs and harsh day to day struggles; not excluding low self-esteem. Larita works hard engaging in community outreaches to spread the word and witness how lives are beginning to revolve. What inspired her to write, “Trapped in the System” as she expressed, was mandated from God. Though, she was saved, she wholeheartedly admits to being engaged in wrong relationships which caused her to become trapped. The title, Trapped in the System in 2003, originally was a poetry title as she thought would transition into a poem. But, it was deemed by God for it to become a book in 2011. Larita lives her life to see others’ lives revolve for the good and to overcome life challenges. Her typical day is doing homework, worshipping God and engaging in community events.

Trapped in the System is a book designed to reveal the wiles of the devil that fight against the lives of believers, as well as, those who have not yet confessed Christ. It exposes the enemy in raw form through rape, molestation, illicit sexual relationships while in church and mental torment through strongholds that come to highjack your thinking. It reveals how the enemy uses different systems to trap you and cause you to abort your Destiny. The author Larita S. Rice reveals her deepest darkest secrets in order to provide restoration, healing and deliverance to all who will read her book. She shares powerful strategies that propelled her to freedom, with a resounding voice, the author declares “YOU TOO CAN BE FREE!!!” Once you have read this book you will discover, your life and your thinking will never be the same again, and in fact you too can be free.

NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

A Male's Perspective Hi Ask the Man

I am Saved and Desperate, What I mean by that is, I believe in prayer in the word of God first above all things. I have been married for eight years to a man who I know can be loving, caring, kind, and unmistakably a man of God! That was the man I married nothing and in the world matter more to him than God, himself, me, and our twins at least that's what I thought. Before we married he knew I was sick. I told him about my disease and so did our Pastor. Before I fast forward, I have inherited a blood disorder which is extremely painful and there is no cure. While we were dating he used to come to the hospital every day before class and work, he never missed a day. He used to care! We have been through many difficult times together struggling with the birth of our twins, the loss of his parents, grandparents, and the diagnosis of me having Breast Cancer. So yes, we have been through a lot. We were young and in loved; nothing else in the world mattered. We were happy to be just in each other’s presence! He was the perfect gentlemen, and I was head over hills in loved. Now here comes the storm…the devil called "ADULTERY!" My husband has been cheating for several years now. It seriously got careless after the cancer. He started taking our boys with him to female’s homes when I was either in the emergency room or admitted in the hospital. He would stop for a while and then start again. Whenever I said I was leaving, he would change only for a little while. I have been to several different churches because we moved a lot (military life) and talked to several different Pastors. I have been praying, and still praying. From city to the city and state to state there are

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

many different women. I have read text messages where he expressed he is not married and no kids. In the text messages, there were some talk about the females going down on him (oral sex), and the females asking for the same gesture in return. I have talked to several different women who have been brainwashed and lied to by my husband from strippers, to college students, between the ages of 18-20. He has been involved with females in the same apartment complex or lived on the same street as us. He has told me some harsh words over the last few years. He blatantly admits, I'm aggravating, annoying, and does not care about me being sick. He sleeps on the sofa and the kids are sleeping with me. I didn't put him there; he put himself on the sofa. He would leave from work and not call home or come in til 2 am or even 5am at times. He no longer comes with us to church. When I had chemo for the cancer, it caused me to lose my sex drive at a young age. Even some medications sent my body through menopause early. I was only 27! Can you please ASKTHEMAN help give me something?!?! Is it me? Is it because I'm sick, What Gives? Does he really love us? Signed,

Saved and Desperate Hello Saved and Desperate, First off let me say, my prayers are with you, and I hope God finds favor in healing your illness. With that been said, let’s move on to the biggest illness of them all, your

A MALE'S PERSPECTIVE husband. Don't you dare sit there for one minute and blame yourself or think his adultery could be your fault in any way. It would be one thing if you only suspected he was cheating, but you have proof. Your children have told and in a sense, he's even admitted to it. Honestly there is nothing left to do in this situation but to move forward with your life. You have sons! Don't have your sons thinking it is okay to treat a woman who you love as if she's nothing. We are a reflection of our environment. You cannot continue to beat yourself down mentally. Yes, at this point you're beating yourself down. There is nothing else he can do to hurt you mentally. Now, every moment of anguish, doubt, confusion & self-loathing you're bringing on yourself. You know what he's doing. You know how he's doing it and where he's doing it. He has put all his cards on the table and essentially said, "Deal with it.” You're trying to play it out and you can't win. The only way to win is to stop playing. Next, I'm almost certain your physical sickness is directly related to the stress of your marriage. Stress is the #1 cause of cancer. While there may be no cure for your blood disorder, how the blood flows in the body is related to temperature, stress, pressure and body function. So yes, I'm saying the stress of your marriage is making you physically sick. He does not love you. He only loves himself. Self-preservation is the first rule of life. That simply means in all circumstances, a human being will do what is necessary to ensure their own well being. It is time for you to learn to do that. You have to preserve you so you can preserve your children. No more arguing with him. Don't question him, don't go through his phone, and don't question the kids. It is a waste of time. It’s time for you to be strong. Stand up for yourself first and your children next. He is not going to change because he has no reason to. He will go into angry mode. He will refuse to leave, he will threaten you, and he will even try to force you to stay in the marriage. NO absolutely not. Call the police and have him removed from home if need be. But you have to stand up for yourself right now. You've dug yourself into a hole with this marriage. You have to climb out and fill that hole in. You can do it. You're a survivor. It's time for you to stop just surviving though; it’s time for you to start living. God bless you and remember God has you. ASKTHEMAN Are you in need of a male’s perspective? Contact ASKTHEMAN, asktheman.maturewomannow@gmail. com. Please use alias names upon your submission.

Geno Jones On The Game of Love

Game Recognize Game: The Real, the Raw, and Why Men do what they do in Relationships, has the streets on fire. Game Recognize Game is a straight-forward, tellall, self-help book which offers insight to women by helping them in their challenges with men, themselves and parenthood. Geno Jones is originally from Chicago, Ill and better known as “Geno” on the radio in Charleston, SC most popular radio personality. His book features a diversity of women in dialogue with the radio star, he urges them to acknowledge their own actions to better identify with their male counterparts. Raised by his grandparents and a single mother, Geno is the only son of three children, which inspired the birth of “Game Recognize Game.” My mother and grandmother taught me compassion and how to treat women. "I want my daughters to know how they should be treated as well," says Geno. He adds, “Even in most hardcore, pimp-or-die days, I could only go as far because I would always hear the voices of the women who influenced my life!” His plans are to take his show on the road in live seminar forum. Geno will no doubt soon be considering an expert on male-female relationships, or perhaps a love doctor. In fact, many women who heard Game Recognize Game admits that if the information had been available to them soon in their lives, many unnecessary wounds would have been prevented. As a comedian, Geno has opened for the legendary B.B. King and Katt Williams. A man of many talents, he is also an actor, model, comedian and motivational speaker. Charismatic, compelling and funny with a rare ability to connect with his listeners, Geno prides himself in maintaining the overall Number #1 afternoon drive radio show since 2005. To order Game Recognize Game, visit: www.authorhouse.com NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

WOMAN II WOMAN

M t Le .. d .. n u e i o r lY f l r el i G T

Skin In The Church by Ardessia Groze de Vaughn

Girlfriend let me tell you about the grandmothers shaking their heads or turning over in their graves. I saw so much skin in church last Sunday, I just couldn’t believe it. I wanted to say, I was appalled, but the young people tell me the year is 2012, therefore, girlfriend, I must be behind times. There were peasant blouses pulled down off the shoulders, several “one shoulder blouses” along with miniskirts that did not allow the young ladies to cross their legs or bend over. Some blouses I really thought were being worn backwards. Girlfriend let me tell you, Big Mama would have knocked me back into next Sunday for even thinking about wearing something as revealing as those outfits, I saw. Girlfriend let me tell you about, when I grew up in Chicago across the street from a well-known Baptist church. It was Fellowship Baptist Church with Pastor Reverend Clay Evans. Etched in their glass door was a notice that said, women were not allowed to wear pants. Girlfriend, we wouldn’t even play on the steps of the church when there wasn’t even service going on. One day, a lady from out of town was visiting her family. She wanted to attend Fellowship Baptist Church. Her family dropped her off at the front door of the church and drove off with the intention of picking her up when service was over. Girlfriend, you know this was before the popularity of cell phones. The lady was wearing culottes and was not permitted to enter the church. We saw what happened, and she

18 18EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC / NOV-DEC 20122012

came across the street to where we were standing in the yard. We felt so sorry for her. She was beside herself with fear of what to do. Her family wouldn’t return until the end of service to pick her up, and had no way of contacting them. Our neighbor, who was about the same size as the lady, understood the lady’s dilemma. She gave her a skirt to wear in the church. The lady was so grateful. Girlfriend let me tell you about the church, I attend today. It had the same rule; posted on a bulletin board in the vestibule of the church. However, I conducted a fashion show for the church, and several of the older ladies of the church modeled pantsuits with full accessories of hats, pumps, gloves, jewelry and handbags. They were gorgeous! Girlfriend, would you believe they bought all the outfits they modeled? From that point on, they wore pantsuits to church. It wasn’t voted on or discussed at the church meeting. It just happened! Since the sign in the vestibule had been there from our former pastor, Girlfriend, let me tell you, I don’t think our current pastor, the former pastor’s son, was ready to tackle the older women of the church. Besides, Girlfriend, I’d rather see the young ladies of the church wearing pants instead of the mini-skirt they have been wearing and showing their underpants. Girlfriend, you tell me, I’m behind the times? Girlfriend, showing underwear seems to be the new fashion statement. I don’t know where this underwear fashion statement comes from, but Girlfriend, let me tell you, now the males are doing it too. Yuck!

SOAP DISH

MagnoliaWives by Desirable Jones The Scene: Whenever Richard is present, you can bet there will be drama. Not to mention, Desiree’s money smelling noise. She uses her senses to help manage her exquisite lifestyle. All the elegant decorations, expensive wine and just painting a lavish picture of all the efforts Penelope prepared for the engagement party of her best friend Patricia and her handsome fiancé Lance. The party is packed with many successful business owners and acquaintances of both Patricia and Penelope. There was no one there Lance knew with the exception of Patricia’s immediate family and friends. Lance’s family who resides in College Station, TX did not bother to take the trip to share in the festivities of their son and soon to be daughter in law’s new life. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Hmmmm, something is not adding up! (Liz is wrestling with Desiree getting her to cooperate and go out on the patio for some fresh air. Desiree had one too many drinks and is becoming quite outspoken while bringing attention to her.) Standing near the patio exit door, Richard and Desiree engage in a flirting conversation while their voices starting to carry over the music. Lance walks near the commotion…… Lance: Desiree and Liz what is going on? Appearing to be quite flustered Richard: Lance, stop making a scene, there is nothing going on here but having a friendly conversation with these beautiful ladies…. Desiree and Liz are just standing there with amazement of what is going to happen next

Part III between the two over bearing strong personalities. The tension between Lance and Richard is as thick as fog and as fluffy as a cotton ball. Lance: The only person I see whose making a scene is you, Richard. Since you step your foot at my ENGAGEMENT PARTY, you have made it your business to throw stones. Lance temper is flaring. They both standing there like both bombs about to explode Desiree: Lance, stop acting crazy. Richard is being a true gentlemen, isn’t that right Richard? Desiree is staring at Richard mesmerize over his physique and his stature. Richard: (Smiling) I definitely do not pose a threat to a beautiful and sexy woman like you sweetheart. Liz is rolling her eyes in the back of her head with pure disguise. Patricia looks towards the direction of the patio exit door and sees her fiancé looks as if he is about to throw a punch directly in Richard’s face. Patricia immediately grabs Orlando and Penelope’s attention to the scene and move fast towards that direction…… Patricia: Baby what is going on here? Voice trembling nervously Before Lance is able to answer Patricia, Desiree: Patricia everything is fine. Go back over there with your stuck up friends. Richard is holding a friendly conversation with me and of course your noisy fiancé’ takes it upon him to see what we are talking NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

about. Isn’t that about right Lance? Desiree cuts her slanted eyes towards him, as if looks can kill, well, Lance would be dead… Lance is more aggravating now than he was before he walked over to the patio door. He is trying to figure out where Desiree is going with her slams. Lance shakes his head at Desiree and just decided the best thing to do, is be quiet. Desiree looks back at Lance speaking from her fierce look, “that’s right, you best to be quiet.” Penelope: Desiree that is not called for. Are you drunk? Desiree: I am speaking to my sister and her man not you. This is a family matter so don’t get confused. I am Patricia’s sister and you are just a wanna be… Liz: Desiree, bring your butt out here on this patio. You have gone too far Liz takes Desiree by the arm and pushes her out the patio door. Patricia walks directly behind Liz and Desiree, and then Penelope lingers slightly behind. Patricia grabs Desiree’s arm from behind and then turn to her Patricia: How dare you insult my best friend? You have no

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right to disrespect her in her home. Desiree: How dare me? Look little sister; don’t put the blame on me. She started this whole show. It’s clear she wants to take my place as your sister. By the way, P’ very nice speech….. Penelope looks at Desiree as if she wants to say something back, but knows she better not deal with Desiree while she is under the influence Desiree walks up to Patricia and places her finger in her face…… looking even fiercer! One thing about Patricia, she is too professional to show any sign of being ghetto. Desiree on the other hand, has no problem showing she is from the 9th ward; one of the worst projects in New Orleans, LA. Desiree has been arrested from one extreme to another. Desiree has no shame in her game. It’s whatever with her! As for as, Patricia, the most trouble she has gotten into is, a no seat belt ticket. Lance, Orlando and Richard are still standing near the patio exit door while glancing out the big picture window watching the women looking like what it appears, a heated argument. Lance turns to Richard and rudely tells him….. Lance: Man, you need to leave. I don’t recall seeing your name on the guest list Richard: Why is it I, pose a threat to you? In his smirking voice Lance: Let me make it clear, you don’t or never will pose a threat to me. I am secure with who I am and know what I am. Unlike you, you work too hard to see others become as miserable as you are. Sure you walk around with your expensive jewelry, customize clothing, nice cars and even a nice home. But, what else do you have? Not a decent woman like my woman, NO, you don’t have that. You prefer to push up on women and I dare not leave out, other men’s women who like what you have, instead of who you are. Orlando stands there as if he is enjoying all the

SOAP DISH daggers his man Lance is throwing directly at Richard. Orlando definitely does not have the nerves to stand up to Richard. Orlando, as he hates Richard too, will never stand up to him. Richard takes Orlando manhood all the time and play tennis with it. Richard: Man I’m gonna put it this way, if you are so happy as you portray you are, why are you so bother by me talking to your fancy, sexy soon to be sister in law, Desiree? I have an agenda to take her home to night and let’s just say, she will be my delicacy of dessert. Just standing here man, is getting me so aroused, if you know what I mean. And, taking another man’s woman, if he isn’t putting it in, I don’t have a problem getting the lady what she desires. While looking directly into Orlando’s eyes… Lance automatically grabs Richard by the collar and throws him against the picture window patio door. Patricia: Desiree if you don’t get your finger out my face and calm yourself down, as much as I love you, I will be force to ask you to leave my party Liz and Penelope try to get between the two sisters while not seeming quite obvious to the guests Desiree: So it’s like that? You are going as far asking me to leave your damn party? Well, perfect, sister let me tell you something, Before Desiree runs her lusty mouth, she looks up and notices the glare in the picture window, that

Richard and Lance is fighting Everyone turns and looks at the direction towards the patio entrance door and runs Orlando is struggling to get between Lance and Richard. Richard struggles to get a loose from Lance’s strong grip and get his arms around Lance’s neck, causing him to fall to his knees. Penelope runs to get security on the other end of the house. Desiree and Patricia are both shouting at Richard, let Lance go. Lance’s eyes are starting to roll in the back of his head. Orlando doesn’t know whether to jump on Richard’s back or run for help with his wife. Desiree runs and immediately picks up a long glass vase located in the near foyer. She reaches over and strikes Richard over his head knocking him out. Lances falls to the ground, while trying to gasp for air. The band has stopped playing; the guests are standing around in pure amazement, while one voice out of nowhere screams, call 9-1-1 Stay Tuned to Part IV of Magnolia Wives…….. Is Richard okay from that blow across his head? What words will be exchange between the two sisters? What would be the outcome of Lance and Patricia’s relationship? Will Orlando finally get the courage to confront Penelope about her sexual transgressions? What is the main reason why Lance’s family did not bother to attend their son’s engagement party? All will be revealed in our next issue of Mature Woman Now Magazine…. Jan/Feb Issue

NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

BET's Sunday Best Season Two Winner

Y'Anna C rawley

Speaks On Past, Present and Future by Desirable Jones

Introducing, a city girl with a country background, mother of two, single woman, songwriter, a sassy southern belle, and a love of love, Y’ Anna Crawley! The young, vibrant, and inspiring singer is originally from South East Washington, DC. Y’Anna has taken BET’s Sunday Best on May 11, 2009, by a gust of wind. Y’Anna stands tall on being an advocate for women and looks over life as placing smiles on others faces. Y’Anna grew up in a family of much talent. She was in the church choir at the age of five years old, when she admits how boldly she stood, asking for her first solo. She groomed her talent through playing the violin, singing in community choirs, and recording with her uncle at the age of fifteen. Y’Anna places her best foot forward and even worked during the summer at the theatre while learning classical and jazz. At that point, she recognized her strength and passion was in her voice. She uses her voice not only to uplift herself as we all know, we have to encourage ourselves,

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but she uses her God given talent to touch so many hearts. The charismatic use of her talent to minister to someone else is not a selfish act but stems from humility and the immense heart such as, Y’Anna. At the age of seventeen years old, she became an unwed mother. She hustled to make a decent living for her and her son while attending school. Y’Anna expressed, “I did not want to become a product of the system,” and she was not. She admits to her mistakes and picked up the pieces. As a young mother, she did what she had to. Y’Anna was a jack of all trades. She stood on her own two feet by, doing hair, and singing in a band in Washington, D.C., night clubs and festivals. It goes to show, God will never give up on us as quickly as we may give up on us. After denied on American Idol, she had no desire or enthusiasm to enter into BET’s Sunday Best competition in 2009. Life became quite challenging to the point where Y’Anna leaned forward into depression. It was her friend who kept persuading her, as she delicately put it, her “angel,” to audition

Get Your Copy of "The Promise" TODAY! Available on Amazon.com and iTunes

NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

for Sunday Best. After much intense debate about entering this contest, she decides to enter the competition to appease others and not placing much emphasis on her. Y’Anna expressed, in her preparation to audition with Sunday's Best, “I did not place any effort in my attire and had a nonchalant attitude.” At that stage in her life, it was, “whatever.” As with any one else, the fear of rejection set in. The memories of the words altered from American Idol judges, had over shadowed her determination to push forward and make a name for herself. After, auditioning and making it to the second round, she realized, winning BET’S Sunday Best, revealed who she genuinely is and know, she is more than a conqueror. Y’Anna, expresses, “I am a fighter, and nothing will lieu me or keep me down.” Aside from becoming 2009 Sunday Best winner, she discovered a desire to change the external body of Y’Anna. After seeing herself on television, realizing millions were watching her, in conjunction with pursuing her new gospel singing career, she decides to lose weight. One thing about losing weight from a woman’s perspective, it’s not easy. Y’Anna remained focus and on her quest to lose weight. Not only is she a beautiful woman with a smile in which, meres an image of a rainbow, she is now down to a comfortable size where she, “Y’Anna” is healthy, fit and loving every minute of it. Y’Anna changed her lifestyle while balancing

better nutrition and food intake. Her exercise regime consists of jump roping, walking and attending Zumba classes. Y’Anna expressed how much she loves to dance. With her passion and aspiration to manage her weight, she is now a certified Zumba instructor. What’s coming down the pipe for the inspirational singer? Y’Anna is in partnership with BET to take a stance with the widespread of AIDS. She admits this is a “sensitive” subject, but a “real” subject! “Saving Our Daughters” serves as an advocate of health & wellness. This enrichment program inspires young women and girls by dealing with self-esteem; including mentally and physical abuse. Y’Anna is waiting in anticipation to work with her favorite female artist, Aretha Franklin in a movie not yet revealed. In addition, Y’Anna is writing a pilot for a reality show. Y’Anna Crawley is filled with so much life and drive to push her towards the top. Her role models, aunt Genobia Geter Jones, Aretha Franklin, Kim Burrell, Donald Lawrence and Brandy to name a few, gives her strength, direction and the ambition to pursue her singing career. The one thing to remember as we transition through life, as long as we live, we will continue to make mistakes. It’s the mistakes we make, we must learn from. As the cliché'’ expresses, “what does not break us, will make us.” Y’Anna undeniably is a testimony.

"Do what you have to do and speak life into yourself. Look into the mirror and whatever your higher power is, reach for it. Remember, give it to God and he will perfect it in your life." Y’Anna

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

WOMAN II WOMAN

Somebody Oughta Testify

by Ashly Dabney The past three years held many significant milestones for me. Let’s see, where do I begin? I got married, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, got pregnant again, lost my uncle, left my husband, lost all of my earthly possessions (home, clothes, furniture, etc.) delivered my baby, lost my job, got a new job, divorced my husband, lost my car, lost several so called friends, turned 30, and STILL I AM STANDING! What I had endured would have broken most people. But everything I have gone through has made me stronger and more determined to survive this race called life. If someone had asked me years ago where I would see myself in the future, a divorced single mother would not have been my answer. We sometimes envision our lives one way, but God has the master plan. I am not ashamed to say, I was so depressed and a mere thought of taking my own life crossed my mind on more than one occasion. But my faith in God was so strong; I knew all of the heartache I was facing could not last always. So I held on to my faith and now I can testify that God brought me out of each and every one of those situations unscathed.

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I lost a child and God blessed me with another one. I lost a job God blessed me with a better one. I lost my uncle and God gave me a guardian angel. I divorced my husband and an enormous burden was lifted off of my soul. The point I am trying to make is we often hear people say “Nothing is too hard for God,” but how many of us have actually lived through some things to be able to stand and encourage another woman not to give up? It bothers me how we go through so many things that can help empower others and we give nothing back to our communities; we do nothing to encourage other members of society, we have breathtaking testimonies and no one ever hears them. I remember being so depressed last year about turning 30, and then I sat and thought about all of the people who died and did not live to see the age 30. I sit sometimes and get so depress about being a single parent and having to do everything for my son singlehandedly. And then, I thank God for health and strength and the ability to be able to care for my son and give him the things he need. The purpose behind my message is, we all will go through some things in life, but let nothing throw you off of your course. Let no one or no situation discourage you. For every situation you encounter, take something from it to empower yourself and others. It’s ok to take a minute to have a pity party every now and then. Get it out of your system, plan out your course of action, and execute. If you are a spiritual person like me, pray, pray, pray and pray. Often times, when we are going through a situation we have to seek everyone’s advice except God’s. Stop worrying about other people’s opinion and seek the one person who matter. For each Milestone I have encountered, a memory has been etched in my mind to accompany it. Whether favorable or worthless, I thank God for every situation because I know everything happen for a reason. Often times, I never could understand the lesson I was supposed to learn from a situation until after the situation was done and over with. But through it all, through all 30 years, I thank God for giving me a testimony so I may encourage and uplift someone like myself who may not have the strength and courage as I did.

Boudoir Session Intimacy & A Virtuous Woman How a woman with high morals can balance her beliefs and keep her relationship full of passion. by JP Dunbar, Romance Expert As a romance expert, I am often approached by people of all walks of life, especially women between ages 24-50, to discuss sex. Some discussions take place in the privacy of a couple’s home, in the middle of anywhere, and others in church seminars hosted with a spiritual purpose to minister married couples. I meet individuals who are a bit reserved and prefer to chat one-on-one with me and at other times those who are comfortable and welcome a discussion in an open environment. Considering all of the different types of invitations I receive, I am rarely approached by the ‘virtuous woman’ when she is actually the reason I have chosen this career path. For the moment, I’ll talk about the woman who holds in high regard her moral standards (putting all biblical references aside) simply because that kind of woman exists. Her sexual boundaries have nothing to do with religious beliefs. She simply believes a woman should carry herself in a certain light. Usually, her belief is established by the teachings received from parents or her own personal observation of the experiences of other women. A kiss or passionate touch is a no-no on the first date with her. She is a good girl and the thought of touching even herself in discovery of her body’s tender spots is taboo. She may have sex out of wedlock, but there are rules to when, how, where, and with whom it can take place. And, after marriage she may find herself still enclosed by the mental limits of her beliefs have placed on her intimate life with her husband. In the spiritual sense, many of us have been taught that a virtuous woman is a God-fearing woman who prior to marriage refrains from sexual encounters and holds a position of purity in mind, body, and soul. Once married, she is intimate with only one man – her husband. She brings quality and is an asset to him. He can trust her, and she does not intentionally do harm to him. Earlier, I mentioned these women are the first and foremost group of women who have inspired me to seek the career path of a romance expert. So, you are thinking what is the big deal and why would a virtuous woman seek the expertise of a romance expert? Here's why. The woman with high moral standards and the

woman of faith, who seeks to please God, usually have something in common - the need to portray an image of goodness and/or holiness. Sometimes, that image is a facade and hides the dark truth of an extremely unhappy person and a relationship where one or both partners are sexually neglected. This behavior can lead to infidelity and ultimately divorce. These same women are left ashamed when it is revealed why their relationship has failed. If consulted early on, this where I can be of assistance. Regardless of what one’s beliefs are, romance experts can help a virtuous woman realize her personal and spiritual sexual responsibility to herself and her partner. In Hebrews 13:4 the King James Bible reads, “Marriage [is] honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Sex between married couples is pure. The only limits exist between married couples are those that they put in place undoubtedly because it makes them uncomfortable. If the virtuous woman is refraining from being intimate with her husband because she is emotionally scarred by one of his previous actions, doesn’t feel like being touched, is not feeling sexy, or is not comfortable with initiating lovemaking, there lies a problem which many times ministers avoid discussing. An unbiased expert with in depth knowledge of human genitalia, sexual desire, and safe ways to romance your partner can help open doors to inventing or reinventing passion into any relationship. I find it disheartening that women who have the biblical right (married women), are the first to overlook permission given to them by God to live without sexual boundaries with their husbands. I want to see women and couples thriving in happy and healthy relationships and releasing any fears they have about being intimate with their spouse. This is why my team of romance consultants and I work so hard. Sure, our jobs allow room for laughter, fun, and making our own hours, but the gut of what we do is to show women like the virtuous woman (continued on Page 28) that living with intimacy boundaries is a choice. There is so much passion to be discovered and enjoyed when done safely and the right way. NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

WOMAN II WOMAN JP Dunbar is a Romance Expert and CEO of The L Bar, an adult romance company, whose mission is to raise the bar on love by empowering women everywhere to feel comfortable in the skin they are in while enjoying a life with intimacy.

**Enjoy 10% OFF any purchase of adult romance products when shopping The L Bar Marketplace by using Promo Code: MWN1010Q when visiting www. thelbar.com.

Q&A

With JP Dunbar, Sexpert Q:

I am a Christian woman and have been married 9 years. My husband and I have 3 children ages 8, 6, and 3. He recently approached me about changing our sexual relationship to an open relationship meaning, he wants us to have sex with other people outside of marriage and in our bedroom together. The whole thought of this makes me literally sick, and the biggest part is he is a Christian man too. I don’t want to lose my family, but I think we are headed for divorce court. What are our options?

Dear Confused, I know it is difficult to process the recent requests from your husband, but let’s look at the facts: • Usually when people want to swing’ or allow their relationship to be open, they are seeking a new’ and exciting experience. This practice has become hugely popular in the Western part of the world namely the USA. But, it also opens a can of worms that your relationship must be strong enough to handle. For example, a high level of trust must be in place because some of these highly parallel relationships fail when a partner begins to feel neglected or thinks their spouse is giving more attention to the 3rd or 4th wheel in the encounter. Adding swinging to your sexual practices can complicate things just as much as it could help. • Most Christians agree that biblical scripture holds them accountable to having sex only with their partner and not adding others into the equation. It could be your husband shares this conviction too, but is just bored with the way things have been for a while. I know the role of a mother and wife has high demands, and you may just be bouncing back to feeling sexy after the birth of your 3 year old.

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Confused Christian in Love

However, my suggestion is to sit side by side with him and grab his hand while telling him why you think such a move could destroy all you have built. Suggest you would like to create new experiences with only him. If you haven’t already, update your bedroom lingerie and toys. And if your budget is a problem, ask a few girlfriends over and have a romance party which will open the door to earn free merchandise and discover new tips. With over 15,000 intimacy products & furniture available in the market, you can create newness’ in your sex life at every encounter. Your husband will thank you for it. Would you like to be assigned your own Personal Romance Consultant? Visit The L Bar online at www.thelbar.com. To submit your questions for answer, send an email including your contact information to: service@thelbar.com.

A BETTER YOU

Lose Weight Over The Holidays!

By Adraine Conrad Health & Fitness Instructor

How to stick with your weight loss during the Holiday Season? That answer is simple: Stick with your plan. You've overcome temptations and slip-ups before. Every day poses challenges, yet you remain strong and continue to make progress toward your goals. Why should the holidays be any different? If you want to lose weight this month, you can. You just have to choose to stay in control one day at a time. Here are 8 tips that will help you keep holiday weight gain at bay and lose a few pounds by New Year. NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

A BETTER YOU

8 Tips to Help You Stay on Track 1 Plan your holiday meals A continuation of tip #1, plan your meals and snacks in advance so you can enjoy your favorites and still stay on track. Before you head to a party or sit down for a holiday dinner, pre-track your food for the party. Find places to cut back on calories in order to splurge a little more on your holiday meal, for example, decide which foods you'll have to stay within your calorie range.

2 Bring your own food This is a great tip if you're heading to a party and don't know what's in the food (or how it was prepared). Pick a healthy, low-cal recipe you can bring. And no matter what kind of food is there, you'll have at least one dish you can eat with confidence.

3 Limit alcohol It lowers inhibitions, making it more likely, you'll forget about your nutrition plan and overindulge. Plus, alcohol alone is pretty high in calories. If you can party hop without drinking at all, you'll be better off. If you must drink, nurse your glass slowly, choose dietfriendly drinks, and limit the number of servings. Oh and yes, alcohol does contain calories, so add every drink to your Nutrition Tracker.

5 Make fitness a priority I like to remind people that food is only one part of the equation that determines whether you'll lose or gain weight. Fitness is just as important. Don't let your workouts go by the wayside.

7 Watch your portions There's nothing wrong with enjoying some once-a-year favorites if you keep your portions in check. Sometimes just a little taste is all you need.

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE! 30

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4 Schedule your workout like an appointment

You wouldn't miss work, a doctor's appointment or an important meeting to bake cookies or do some holiday shopping, would you? Add your workouts to your calendar so other obligations don't get in the way of your gym time.

6 Add 10 extra minutes of cardio to your days

Experts say that adding just 10 minutes of vigorous exercise to your usual workout routine can counter the effects of a little extra holiday eating. You can spare an extra 10 minutes, right? Even if you can't fit it in all at once, try to do small amounts throughout the day. High-intensity moves like jumping jacks, high-knee running in place, or jumping rope all work.

8 Drink your water When people drink more water throughout the day, they end up eating fewer total calories. Water and water-rich foods can help fill you up longer. Keep a cup of water in hand at parties, sip water between bites, and meet your daily quota to help prevent overeating.

WOMAN II WOMAN

A Virtuous Woman Indeed by Felicia Hull

When I think of a virtuous woman, many beautiful women come to mind; my grandmother, Michelle Obama, Mother Teresa, just to name a few. Of course, the one who molded and shaped my own life was my grandmother, Mary S. Hall. I have never known any woman with a heart as wide as hers. You see, my grandmother was a real woman. She was a class act, a real lady and a treasure within her community. She instilled hope within her community and challenged people to be their best at all times. I recall placing my feet on of top hers while dancing to Al Green in the living room on Saturday mornings. The old record player was barely hanging on, and we had to secure a fifty cent piece to handle, so it wouldn't skip. She felt responsible for those in her life. Her success was in helping others to become successful. She took no pride or satisfaction in seeing anyone fail. If couples were fighting, and on the verge of divorce, she would prepare a Sunday dinner and invite them over to help sort things out. After one of my grandmother's sermons, “you need to stick together, “you’d see things clearly by morning and everything would be alright. If someone in the community couldn't pay their rent or mortgage, she'd gather the women and host a supper. Catfish, potato salad, sweet rolls, green peas and a piece of cake, saved many homes. Her heart was immense. She was not a well educated woman, but she could read and write some. She could balance a check book and read well enough to know if I'd made unsatisfactory grades in school. Still, she was the smartest woman I'd ever known. She could feed an entire family with little or nothing. What she could buy, she fixed. What she couldn't make, she bartered for. She knew the right time to plant fruits and vegetables; her garden was always thriving. She knew how to save and prepare for the hard times. She also knew how to make the hard times seem easy. She didn't mind the arthritis or the gout so much, but Lord, she prayed every night, how she didn't want to never lose her mind; she never did. Her soul was more valuable to her than anything else in this world. She was at church every time the doors

opened. Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, prayer meeting, speak meeting, mid week service and communion Sunday, was an all day affair. She was most graceful when in the presence of God, and I will never forget how, as a child, she would look at me with hope and promise. She taught me that material things fall away, but God's love is forever. There were many times I didn't want to go to church or pray because I just wanted to play. Still, it is a gift I carry within my heart everywhere I go. She couldn't give me money, or fancy things, but she guided me toward my own salvation. She took care of not only her soul, but mine, as well. Today, where can we find a virtuous woman? Where is her potency within society? Does she exist only in theory? I see things today that would cause my grandmother to cringe and break her heart. It's okay though. What she has instilled in me cannot die, and it is my duty to pass it on. As for me and my daughters, we will live in righteousness and be examples of morality. A virtuous woman has her own reward and does not seek the glory of man. As a virtuous woman, I cannot compromise my heart, mind and soul. My salvation is not for sale. My grandmother is with me daily. I hear her voice on the wind. I feel her presence when I need her most. Someday, I will join her in paradise. Until then, I will continue to stand in her honor as a virtuous woman among women. NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT

The Face Behind

Changing Oasis, Inc.

Audrey Woodley is a native of Chicago, Ill who believes in helping and uplifting women. Her beliefs stand firm on the power of God. Who is Audrey Woodley? She is a strong woman who is a single mother, an Entrepreneur, has a radio show, Shoe Imagine Consultant with Nchantment and CEO of Changing Oasis. Changing Oasis is a foundation who aides others to build businesses, renders services of high school diploma, mentoring, coaching, a healing circle with the word of “God,” emphasis on financial budgeting and collectively encourages women of empowerment. Audrey has been an entrepreneur since the age of 28 years old. Her passion comes from, she once was homeless and unequivocally wants to be use as a mechanism to give back to others so they also can collect their high school education, pursue college and/or learn a field to pursue their career endeavors. Audrey is a woman who focuses on her dedication and her “will” to help others. She speaks about life balance and what it takes for her to become successful. She is a displacement teacher in Chicago, Entrepreneur, and mother, but yet, she still finds time for her. A single woman must do what it takes to survive and to provide the necessities in life for her and her family. Audrey is an extraordinary woman who dedicated her life first to Christ and to work in her mission. She takes the time to pamper herself. She loves her manicures and pedicures, hair appointments; all the things required to maintain and look Fantastic! When asked who were her role models, she wasted no time to reflect on her mother who she expressed is a breast cancer survivor, and her grandmother. Her typical day is dropping her only child, her son, off to school each morning, drive by to check on her role models, stop by her business office and the list goes on and on. Though, Audrey wears many hats and has the ambition and drive, she stated it’s her, “leap of faith” that carries her through. In the next 3 to 5 years, she wants to operate 2 to 3 offices within the United States, become a powerful motivational speaker, and own a Televised Talk Show. Audrey strengths are her sparkling personality and abilities to network. One thing as an entrepreneur, being able to communicate and interact with others is a legitimate process of building your business. Her weakness, which is only temporary, is not able to bring

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businesses together and building a team. Her weakness is stemmed from not having the resources to build and develop. However, Audrey stated to the Mature Woman Now, “Never give up on faith and your dreams!”

For Speaking contact office~ 773.309.1047 web/blog:www.changingoasis.com Radio: info@changingoasis.com http://www.facebook.com/changingoasis https://twitter.com/changingoasis

WOMAN II WOMAN

There’s A Virtuous Woman in Me by Marsha Snead-Williams When presented with the challenge of writing about the Virtuous Woman, I simply froze. I procrastinated, made up dozens of reasons why I couldn’t do it, didn’t want to do it…I realized now that I didn’t want to do it was because deep down inside I knew I would have to come face to face with ‘The Virtuous Woman.” I knew this kind of woman would cause me to have to take a good look at exactly who I was, and what I was called to be. To be perfectly honest with you, I just wasn’t ready. I was afraid, I just didn’t want to see what I thought was the “competition.” Well, I am so happy; I stop hiding and stopped being a coward. So once the pity party was over I had to put my “big girl” panties on and get to work. Way past my deadline, I prayed I wasn’t too late, I prayed, then read the scripture Proverbs 31. I ask a few people their thoughts, but in the end and when all was said and done I went right back to the scripture and decided not to be afraid. Because when we are afraid we tend to make it all about us, but when we put aside our fears and stepped out on faith, we are then able to see…. So here goes, My Queens, as a virtuous woman must understand it is all about living for the glory of God. When we look at the characteristic of this dynamic woman in proverbs 31, we must see what sets her apart from all of the rest is that she truly exemplifies the meaning of Love. This Woman not only loves the Lord, but she loves and appreciate all of the many gifts she

has been given. Her love is shown in the way she serves God, honors and appreciates her husband and family; she takes pride in their care. There is nothing she would not do for the good of her pride. This woman takes care of her mind, body, and soul. She treats her body as a temple, taking care not to defile it, sharing it only with he who had been joined to her. This woman does not just want any man, he must be worthy he knows her true value. This mighty woman of God has a servant’s heart. She is not self serving, she is a true giver and finds joy in it. This woman is business savvy; she is not frivolous and wants only the best for her family. For her, it is not about quantity it is about quality. This woman who God holds in the highest regard is not afraid of hard work; she will do all she can to provide for her family, and does it with a cheerful heart. She knows all about being grateful for all she has been blessed with. Queens, I am happy to tell you that much to my relief I have discovered that this, Virtuous Woman, far rare than rubies, lives within us all. She is not our competition; she is our divine role model. There is A Virtuous Woman in Me. We are all capable of being Virtuous Women, we just have to believe! “When you live your life for the glory of God, all things that are impossible become possible.” I am no longer afraid of what I am not. I am excited about what I can be. Peace & Blessing, Marsha Snead-Williams. Motivational Speaker/Live Coach. NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE

LIFESTYLE

Why Divva is on a mission and how it all started.

In the summer of 2007, the first road trip across country took place. Jayda felt the urge to do something big in appreciation for being spared and blessed for a new start after Hurricane Katrina. A cross country road trip feeding the hungry started out as a way to say thanks to all those who had helped Jayda Cabbell and her family after Hurricane Katrina. What started as a very humble event turned into a trip that forever changed her life.

Since Hurricane Katrina, Jayda has structured her life and business in the art of helping those in need. Jayda Cabbell’s Love Foundation (JCLF/BITS) a not for profit organization conducts community events to benefit those who need it the most, mentoring the youth, feeding the hungry and homeless. No act of love is too small to help someone else in need.

About Jayda “Divva” Cabbell

Jayda loves to serve and give back and if her giving can raise awareness and start a chain reaction, she is going share it with the world! Jayda is the author of an inspirational memoir “The Storm Chaser” a story of trial and triumph after Hurricane Katrina. Currently Jayda Cabbell is assisting others in areas of their lives and business endeavors through her nonprofit organization, Jayda Cabbell’s Love Foundation (JCLF).

She has a strong passion in seeing others dreams become a reality. She is definitely one “Divva on a Mission” juggling her hectic schedule and others demands with ease. When she is not overseeing the various programs under her non-profit foundation, Jayda also gives hours of service to other non-profits, churches and community programs. She travels to many different food pantries and soup kitchens to prepare her signature dishes.

“Divva on a Mission” Kicks-Off 11-City Tour in Atlanta (Atlanta, GA) – October 25, 2012 – “Divva on a Mission” is a cross country mission road trip of love, hope, inspiration and random acts of kindness to serve others. The brainchild of the self-professed ‘Love Divva’ (the two v’s stands for a double dose of love), Jayda Cabbell is a noted author, celebrated chef and well-known philanthropist. Kicking off in Atlanta, this journey will travel to 11 major US cities and end in New Orleans her hometown. Jayda arrived in Atlanta by way of New Orleans via Hurricane Katrina. She knew immediately that it would be a struggle continuing her company Divva Dishes in a

EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE / NOV-DEC 2012

city as large as Atlanta where no one knew her; however, instead of wallowing in self-pity, she decided to help others with bigger problems than her own. With her four children in tow, Jayda began feeding the homeless right outside of her hotel room. That experience quickly grew which in turn helped Jayda get her business off the ground through word of mouth. With an overwhelming sense of gratitude for being spared and blessed for a new start after Hurricane Katrina, Jayda embarked on the first “Divva on a Mission” cross country road trip in the summer of 2007. She explains, “A cross country road trip feeding the hungry started out

as a way to say thanks to all those who helped me and my family after Hurricane Katrina. It was a very humble attempt that forever changed my life.” Since Hurricane Katrina, Jayda has structured her life and business in the art of helping those in need through her nonprofit, Jayda Cabbell’s Love Foundation (JCLF/ BITS), conducting community events to benefit those who need it the most, mentoring the youth, feeding the hungry and homeless. Mission details include a kick-off in Atlanta as Jayda and her team fill up for the road trip, they will surprise someone at the gas station with a fill-up and a gift basket. Then they will head to Memphis where they will provide manicures and massages for deserving individuals. They will also visit St. Louis, Denver, Las Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles, Phoenix, San Antonio, Houston, with the finale in New Orleans. The mission will be well-documented; capturing every

aspect of the trip that Divva and her crew of five will encounter. “This journey will inspire others through the spirit of love and giving. I am embarking on a journey to serve deserving individuals who courageously face adversity daily and all are welcome to join us!” She says, “Prepare to laugh, cry and be inspired.” There are plans to share the details of the mission trip through social media such as YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. In addition to the activities set in stone, random acts of kindness; bonus elements of surprise and inspiration will happen throughout the journey. “Divva on a Mission” needs your partnership to make this second tour a tremendous success! To join or inquire about partnering with “Divva on a Mission”, please visit www.DivvaonaMission.com or call 855-635-LOVE.

Join Divva on a mission; Jayda Cabbell on a cross country road trip to inspire others

through the spirit of love and giving. This journey will travel to 11 major US cities beginning in Atlanta, GA and ending in New Orleans, LA. The mission will be well documented; capturing every aspect of the trip that Divva and her crew of five will encounter. This will be a mission to remember- bound to inspire millions.

Kick-off Atlanta, GA - Fill up for Road Trip – Surprise someone at the pump with a fill-up and gift basket.

Fundraiser to benefit St.Mary’s Food Bank Alliance; the world’s first food pantry.

Memphis, TN -Mani’s & Massages Pamper Party; to be held at Andrea’s Nail’tique. Benefitting staff members of Booker T. Washington High School.

San Antonio, TX –Storytelling at the local community center. We will share the journey of the road trip thus far with printed images and video. In addition to delivering love packages to members on-site.

St.Louis, MO – Flash Mob Act of Kindness – We will be distributing sack lunches at a local tourist attraction. Keep it locked to your twitter feed for details on dates and meet up location.

Houston, TX – I am you; You are me. – A fashion party full off make-over’s and motivation benefiting disabled individuals of Houston’s Community Center.

Denver, CO – Donated toys will be handed out to little ones who need just a little extra love during their visit at Children’s Hospital Colorado, parents will receive a small love offering as well.

Finale New Orleans, LA –Mission 1- S.O.S (Single Outstanding Supporters) Brunch benefiting deserving staff members from a variety of non-profit organization in New Orleans and surrounding areas.

Las Vegas, NV –Walk against hunger Vegas Strip

Mission 2 -New Year New You! This Seminar will feature empowerment sessions, a vision board corner, small business assistance and more. This free event will offer the aspiring entrepreneur or the individual just looking for a fresh start the motivation they need for a prosperous New Year.

San Diego, CA – Surprise a deserving parent with a make-over, spa day and photo-shoot. Los Angeles – New Year’s Eve Firehouse Feast; Divva will prepare a New Year’s Eve Meal for the deserving firefighters of Fire Station #9, who sacrifice their lives daily. Phoenix, AZ – Strike against Hunger; Family Bowling

In addition to the activities set in stone random acts of kindness; bonus elements of surprise and inspiration will happen through-out this journey. NOV-DEC 2012 / EXPOSURE.EXPAND.THRIVE