Mayhem! Magazine - Issue 5 (St Patrick's Day Special March 2012)

PORTSMOUTH’S #1 FREE

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

ISSUE 5

DISCOUNT COUPONS INSIDE! >> DISCOUNT COUPONS INSIDE! >> DISCOUNT COUPONS INSIDE!

Nick Kennedy …tackling life!

…a chat with

Catch up with…

Helen Skelton FORMULA

…one to one

CELEBS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FASHION | HUMOUR

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top 5 cheap s! gaming app

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2012 F1 season rundown

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MAR 2012 | MAYHEM!

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MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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WORD FROM THE TOP!

Founder/Director Daniel Tidbury Editor Mia Habens Assistant Editor Tory Nairn Studio Manager Felicity Patrick Graphic Design Tidbury Design Staff Writers Mia Habens Edward Couzens-Lake Contributing Writers Kelly Wickham Tory Nairn Tori Harris David Cawdeary Ben Jones Rachel Clark Jacque Voller Daniel Tidbury Chris Morley Felicity Patrick Nightlife Paparazzi Mick Wythe Liam Deluchi Matt Byne Mehrdad Bor Promotions Felicity Patrick Daniel Tidbury Jennifer Le Roux Sales/Marketing Simone Sarsfield Jennifer Le Roux Distribution Jamie Pay Jamie Matthews Publisher Tidbury Media 023 9229 4408 hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk The Clock Tower, 44 Castle Rd, PO5 3DE www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk Mayhem! is a free lifestyle magazine dedicated to entertaining the people of Portsmouth. Keep up to date with the latest trends, fashions and interviews with our monthly instalments available to pick up from the countless distribution points scattered across the city and surrounding areas at the beginning of each month. © Copyright 2012.

All rights reserved, Tidbury Media .

EDITOR’S

LETTER

It’s March and we’re getting Springy with it!

It may seem like we’re still in the deep-mid-winter, but Spring has almost sprung…promise!

To celebrate the Equinox on the 20th March we’ve got the best of the best spring-time talent to entertain and delight you. Check out our exclusive film interview with Rihanna and tickle your musical taste-buds with the latest from British institution The Stranglers.

If Spring signals the beginning of the sporting season for you, then fear not… we’re finding out the latest news from the F1 circuit and have a chat with England rugby pro, and Portsmouth Alumni, Nick Kennedy.

And don’t forget that March also brings the Guinness-induced euphoria of St Paddy’s Day and the more sentimental reflection of Mother’s Day, so make sure you check out our Mayhem! tips for both occasions.

So…March over to your sofa and get stuck in!

Hope you Enjoy!

Mia Habens

@MAYHEMMAG

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

| Editor

THE MAYHEM MAGAZINE MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

5

WHAT’S INSIDE

GREAT SAVINGS ACROSS THE CITY LOOK OUT FOR YOUR MATES WITH OUR MAYHEM! MOMENTS...

ON PAGES 72-79

11 Time for a cat nap…

12 Must have gadgets 14 Tackling life with Portsmouth alumni Nick Kennedy 16 Yummy mummy treats 18 On the scene with Beatamax 20 Mainstream celebs who (just about) got away with it 22 Formula fun

page 60

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MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

24 How to become a man of mystery!

26 One to one with…

Rihanna 30 Top 5 cheap gaming apps 32 ‘The Don’ investigates...

Retro gaming 36 Spring fashion with Mia Mai 42 Mayhem! reviews...

44 Catch up with...

The Stranglers

pa g e 2 6

page 70

46 48 50 52 54 60

Girls just wanna have fun All hail real ale Far from Craggy Island St Patrick’s Day cocktails A chat with...Chiddy Bang Helen Skelton’s polar challenge 66 A one to one with...

Charlie Simpson 68 Don’t forget Mother’s Day 70 Going down under with Jimeoin

pa g e 6 6

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One voucher per person, per visit. Cannot be refunded or exchanged for cash or other denominated vouchers. If an intended purchase is for a higher amount than the face value of the Money-Saver, the difference can be made up with cash. If a purchase is for a lower amount, no change can be given. Cannot be used in conjunction with any special promotions, discount tokens, coupons or cards. Mayhem! reserves the right to discontinue a Money-Saver at any time or to modify any terms and conditions.

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Purbrook Garage Services Ltd , 40a London Rd, Purbrook PO7 5LJ 023 9226 2234

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Gosport Ferry, South Street, Gosport, PO12 1EP 02392 524551 www.gosportferry.co.uk

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Tidbury Photography, 44 Castle Road, Southsea PO5 3DE 023 9229 4408

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Goldsmith Avenue Southsea PO4 0AW 023 9235 5245

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Ticket Sales: Thurs 7pm–10pm, Fri & Sat 12 noon–Midnight, & Sun 12 noon–5pm.

One voucher per person, per visit. Cannot be refunded or exchanged for cash or other denominated vouchers. If an intended purchase is for a higher amount than the face value of the Money-Saver, the difference can be made up with cash. If a purchase is for a lower amount, no change can be given. Cannot be used in conjunction with any special promotions, discount tokens, coupons or cards. Mayhem! reserves the right to discontinue a MoneySaver at any time or to modify any terms and conditions. You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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42 OSBORNE ROAD, SOUTHSEA

Closed Tuesday.

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Call to book your appointment on: 023 9283 3344

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

9

One voucher per person, per visit. Cannot be refunded or exchanged for cash or other denominated vouchers. If an intended purchase is for a higher amount than the face value of the Money-Saver, the difference can be made up with cash. If a purchase is for a lower amount, no change can be given. Cannot be used in conjunction with any special promotions, discount tokens, coupons or cards. Mayhem! reserves the right to discontinue a Money-Saver at any time or to modify any terms and conditions.

You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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The Eastern Eye, 27 Albert Road, Southsea PO5 2SE 023 9286 2518

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Kick Start Rider Training, 15 Woodstock Road, Gosport PO12 1RS 07595 298282

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One voucher per person, per visit. Cannot be refunded or exchanged for cash or other denominated vouchers. If an intended purchase is for a higher amount than the face value of the Money-Saver, the difference can be made up with cash. If a purchase is for a lower amount, no change can be given. Cannot be used in conjunction with any special promotions, discount tokens, coupons or cards. Mayhem! reserves the right to discontinue a Money-Saver at any time or to modify any terms and conditions.

You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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Excalibur, 2 Floor, 2 Lake Rd, Portsmouth PO1 4EZ 023 9286 3523

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Kings Theatre, Albert Road, Southsea PO5 2QJ www.kings-southsea.com

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You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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Green Mango Natural Salon, 18 Ordnance Row, Southsea PO1 3DN 023 9283 3344

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Rancho Steak House, 61 Osborne Road Southsea PO5 3LS 023 9273 7235

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You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

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One voucher per person, per visit. Cannot be refunded or exchanged for cash or other denominated vouchers. If an intended purchase is for a higher amount than the face value of the Money-Saver, the difference can be made up with cash. If a purchase is for a lower amount, no change can be given. Cannot be used in conjunction with any special promotions, discount tokens, coupons or cards. Mayhem! reserves the right to discontinue a Money-Saver at any time or to modify any terms and conditions.

You must not reproduce in any form the Mayhem! Money-Saver or anything deceptively similar to it, or assist/enable others to do so without our prior written consent. Any queries regarding the redemption of this Mayhem! Money-Saver should call 02392 294 408.

OUT PORTSM

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The Hungry Dragon, 42 Osborne Road, Southsea PO5 3LT 023 9281 4422 M

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Delaneys Sandwich Bar, 77b Castle Road, Southsea PO5 3AY 023 9273 3498

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for on top you back party Getting next fresher the

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| BEA UTY | FILM

| FAS HION

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10 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

COUNTING SHEEP!

TIME FOR CAT NAP? WRITTEN BY KELLY WICKHAM

RESTFUL MIND Try writing down anything on your mind before you sleep. This doesn’t mean finding a solution to your problems or worries, but just making a note of any troubles can often clear your head of woes and remind you that you can deal with them tomorrow.

If you still find yourself deep in worry – begin a dream before you sleep!

This may sound crazy but start off imagining a desert island. Then imagine the people you’re with and what you’re doing. Next imagine the type of luxuries‌before long you’ll be knocking out those z’s!

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ROUTINE

UNWIND AND RELAX

Most of us are guilty of only going to sleep when we’re tired and, if we’ve had a late night, we usually try and compensate by having an ‘early night’ the next evening. Studies have shown this is the worst idea as your body won’t adjust and you’ll end up waking up in the middle of the night or before your alarm goes off! Instead, try to make a routine, go to bed at a similar time each night and waking up the same time each morning. Granted this will be broken at the weekend, especially when the night club calls and the alarm in the morning will sound like a marching band next to heavy road works!

A hot bubble bath and a massage are the key ingredients to relaxation, which is perfect to send you off in the land of nod.

Don’t push it too far though, as too long in hot water will drain your body of vitalty.

Instead, throw in some bath salts to relax your body, soak your tired muscles and remove toxins from your body. Playing some soft, soothing music will help lull you to sleep – so try and avoid this until you’re away from the risk of drowning! Remember your body needs to be cool for you to sleep, so give your body about an hour to lower its temperature before going to bed.

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FOOD AND DRINK A hot, milky drink is said to promote sleep as the calcium calms nerves.

Alternatively, try a herbal tea such as Clipper’s Organic Sleep Easy Teabags or a cup of Horlicks. Try not to have too many puffs on cigarettes either, as nicotine is a stimulant and remember that, although alcohol makes you feel sleepy, it can interfere with your sleep pattern so it’s best to avoid it at bed time.

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

GET THESE IN YOUR LIFE!

REVIEW SAGEMCOM SIXTY CORDLESS TELEPHONE The new Cordless Telephone from Sagemcom is a must have! With a digital clock on the front and the old-school dial sequence, this phone is an excellent combination of the old and the new. The Sagemcom Sixty manages to be high-tech and classic all at once.

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THIRSTY LIGHT! Thirsty Light is a great little gizmo from Firebox; you’ll never have a limp brown plant again.

Our household plants are either withering from draught or drowning in a tsunami when we suddenly think, ‘Crap the plant!’ Thirsty Light! is the solution, pop it in your plant pot and the light will flash when your plant needs a little replenish with a splash of water.

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Y IN NO WA MAYHEM! S DRINKING CONDONE

DIGITAL ALCOHOL BREATH TESTER BREATHALYSER DESKTOP CUP WARMER An excellent gift for any tea or coffee lover. Plug this funky gadget into a socket or your laptop, and keep your brew at the perfect drinking temperature.

The days of sipping cold dregs are truly over!

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Get results in just five seconds from this handy breathalyser! If you’ve had a particularly strong mojito one Wednesday evening, better to be safe than sorry.

This portable mini breathalyser is ideal to check your alcohol intake to ensure you don't drive while over the limit, risking yourself and others.

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GET THESE IN YOUR LIFE!

GAS PUMP RETRO LIQUOR DISPENSER The days of pouring your drink straight into the glass are over. All hail the Retro Liqueur Dispenser, this little gizmo is great for parties! Just pop whatever spirits tickle your fancy and gently squeeze to pour.

This old-fashioned gas pump effortlessly combines the classic with the modern and it looks awesome. Be the first of your friends to get this retro gadget and throw an unforgettable party.

RETRO CASSETTE COVER Jazz up your iPhone with this funky retro cassette cover. Not only does this perfectly fitting cover keep your handset safe, but when fully opened also makes a perfect stand.

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LITTLE PRINTER New From Berg, this little printer is a fresh new gadget. This portable gizmo prints and streams straight from your smartphone. The Little Printer gathers all your prints together to create a timely, beautiful mini-newspaper.

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GRIPPY PAD

These nifty little stamps are great fun to have lying around. Taking its design from Facebook, you can now literally, ‘like’ your kids’ homework and ‘dislike’ that evaluation report on your desk. So stamp a little fun back into your world with these cool little gizmos!

Forever losing your phone?‌ only to find it on the floor of your car. The new Grippy Pad is the answer. Resistant to water, sunlight and vibrations, it sits right on your dashboard. There’s no wear, no tear, when the stickiness begins to fade, just give it a wipe and it’s as good as new.

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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TACKLING LIFE WITH…

e h a r h t it s r at f ai o u g it s e t h t o w h y n e w l se so y ou c t u a l h a s ri e s , p o s e ! a y e pe s to ex t iv y ou Po m c e s s c e t o l e i f s t r u c i n on s ib s uc o f h t b e e p os h in g c b g m i u ld om e t co id s d

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14 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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TACKLING LIFE WITH… YOU DID SPORTS STUDIES AT PORTSMOUTH UNI BEFORE TAKING UP RUGBY FULL TIME. HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT?

I started playing for the 3rd team in my second year, then progressed to the 1st team where I was scouted for England south/west. At the trial a few of the guys were playing for London Irish under 21’s so I joined them for a training session and got a three-month trial.

DIDN’ T YOU TRY YOUR HAND AT BASKET BALL FOR A WHILE?

I signed up to the basketball team in freshers’ week and did that for a few months in the first year, but they trained on ‘pound a drink’ nights so I ended up drinking my way through the first year.

HOW WAS POMPEY FOR YOU? WHAT WERE YOUR FAVOURITE PLACES TO GO?

I loved my time at Pompey, loved a Wednesday night at the SU. Mondays in Time, Thursdays in Route 66. The summer was great down by the sea having bbq’s and kicking a ball around.

WHAT INFLUENCE DID STUDYING IN PORTSMOUTH HAVE ON YOUR CAREER?

I played a lot more football than rugby, I only got into rugby at Uni. I don’t think I would have played any rugby if I hadn’t got into it at Pompey. The guys were all a good laugh and I really enjoyed the social side of it. I’m still best friends with a few of the team.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE PLAYING FOR THE TEAM YOU SUPPORTED AS A YOUNGSTER?

It’s an amazing feeling. I love going into the club every day and playing big games are the highlight of my week.

YOU’ VE HAD A RELATIVELY QUICK RISE TO THE POSITION YOU’RE IN NOW. HAVE YOU HAD ANY MOMENTS WHERE YOU HAD SECOND THOUGHTS?

No second thoughts, I didn’t have time! The day after graduating I was training with Irish and it was really full on. I got lucky with four second rows being injured so ended up playing 13 games for the first team in my debut season.

YOU WERE PART OF THE SIX NATIONS TEAM BACK IN 2009. HOW WAS THAT AS AN EXPERIENCE AND HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THE CURRENT SIX NATIONS TOURNAMENT?

Gutted to not be a part of the squad.

I used to watch all the Six Nations games at the SU and had great banter with all the other nations. Being a part of it all was amazing, a real dream come true and I loved every second of it.

WHAT’ S HOT MUSIC WISE FOR YOU AT THE MOMENT?

We have a DJ in our team, Hape, who makes all our playlists. We listen to a lot of hip hop and dance music.

I ALSO HEARD YOU WERE LEARNING GUITAR… HOW’ S THATS GOING?

I am learning but I’m rubbish! I really enjoy it but I need proper lessons before I join a band. At the moment I’m teaching myself off YouTube.

YOU’ VE ALSO HAD TIME TO START A FASHION LABEL – CAN YOU TELL US A LIT TLE BIT ABOUT THAT?

Alphakin is a fusion of art and fashion.

Myself and a few friends started it two years ago now. We were selling in Harvey Nichols and Selfridges and we’re currently on ASOS. FINALLY, ANY WORDS OF WISDOM OR FINAL THOUGHTS FOR OUR READERS…?

Make the most of your time at Uni, have as much fun as possible!

CHECKOUT WW W.ALPHAK IN.CO M FOR MORE IN FO RMAT ION ABOUT NICKS L AT ES T FAS HION R ANG E… Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WRITTEN BY TORI HARRIS

MOTHER’S DAY – 18 MARCH, DON’T FORGET!

YUMMY MUMMY

TREATS

'BODZ USFBUJOH ZPVS NVN UIJT .PUIFST %BZ CVU OP JEFB XIBU UP HFU )FSF¤T PVS UPQ ÂŞWF CFBVUZ NANOBLUR OPTICAL SKIN BLUR HJGUT Â&#x; BMM BWBJMBCMF JO #PPUT SJHIU OPX NO7 AIRBRUSH AWAY PRIMER Primers are everywhere at the moment and if your mum hasn’t got one in her makeup bag yet, now is definitely the time to add one! It helps to make your makeup last longer and sit better on your face. A definite must have! No7 have a fantastic primer – look out for their ÂŁ5 off vouchers or other deals for a bargain present! ÂŁ19.50

TOO FACED TEDDY BEAR HAIRPROF BRUSH This is a beautiful gift and a treat for any woman into her makeup – a good brush-set makes a world of difference when applying products. This brush-set contains five synthetic brushes, which are delightfully soft and shaped specifically for different jobs! £38

NIP+FAB FROWN FIX INSTANT LINE FILLER Have all those years of worrying about you taken their toll on your poor mum? This frown fix is brilliant! Nip+Fab have an incredible selection of products and this frown fix does exactly what it says – use it under makeup for smooth application. £10.25

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This product is brilliant if your mum is worried about fine lines and ageing. It’s worn over makeup! It uses optical illusions and reflects the light to minimise the visibility of fine lines while you have the product on. Fab for special occasions where there might be photographs taken or there is someone to impress! £19.99 Best buy!

SOAP & GLORY GLOW ALL OUT LUMINIZING FACE POWDER Ordinarily I wouldn’t recommend a powder for a maturing lady – it tends to sit in any line/ pore and make it look far more obvious then it actually is! However, this powder from Soap & Glory’s new cosmetics range is beautifully light and if used sparingly just along the cheek bone before a blusher it highlights perfectly adding that youthful glow to the face! £11

TOP TIP!

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SPRAY TANNING Fully mobile spray tanning service using Sienna X products. Providing gorgeous natural looking tans from the comfort of your own home.

A full body spray tan takes 15 minutes and will leave you feeling fantastic for 7 days – only you will know your tan came out of a bottle!

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ON THE SCENE!

WRITTEN BY DAVID CAWDEARY

With a musical style leaning towards the 80’s electro sound that has enjoyed a renaissance over the past few years, the range of influences on the band is diverse. Think Two Door Cinema Club having a scrap with Ultravox and Spandau Ballet on the lunar surface and you’re somewhere close to the sound these boys make! Drums, guitars, synths and live brass, with the addition of digital samples and computer backing tracks, make the musical possibilities for these New Wave pioneers seemingly endless.

The mission statement since the bands conception has been to create music that incorporates big beats, infectious melodies, electro synths and soaring vocals. Most importantly, Beatamax hope to make you dance.

Several months of writing and rehearsals were followed by a debut live performance at the Edge of the Wedge in May 2011 in support of the Retrospective Soundtrack Players (Xtra Mile). The show was a chance for the band to test out their

18 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

creations on a friendly home crowd, and the fantastic reception they received spurred them to produce their first collection of recorded work.

Beatamax spent the latter half of 2011 recording with up and coming producer The BW Sound, and have now completed their self titled EP. The five tracks were then launched exclusively to stream via the band’s website (www.beatamax.co.uk) on January 1 to help bring in the New Year with style.

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ON THE SCENE!

Mayhem! caught up with the boys to find out how things have gone so far and what 2012 has in store.

SO GUYS, YOU PLAYED YOUR FIRST SHOW IN MAY 2011 SUPPORTING THE RETROSPECTIVE SOUNDTRACK PLAYERS. HOW DID YOU FEEL IT WENT?

It was great to get the first show under our belts, and great to play in our home town, Portsmouth. We were pleased with the response from the audience, especially as we got our set together in a relatively short period of time.

YOU’VE JUST FINISHED RECORDING YOUR DEBUT EP. ARE YOU PLEASED WITH THE FINISHED PRODUCT?

Yeah, we’re really happy with how it’s turned out. We decided to take our time as we really wanted to make the best record we could. It’s nice to finally get our hands on the finished product.

YOU’VE GOT A VERY DIVERSE SOUND. CAN YOU TELL WHAT INFLUENCES YOU AS A BAND?

We have such varied musical tastes as individuals so the main focus was to make music that people enjoyed listening to, and also get them dancing. We’ve had people tell us that we sound like various artists that we hadn’t even thought of ourselves, so we’re happy for them to make up their own minds.

SO WHEN IS THE EP RELEASED?

The EP will be released on March 31 and to celebrate, we’ll be playing a launch show at the Loft on this day. If you can’t wait that long, the EP is available to stream on our website now (www.beatamax.co.uk).

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE REST OF 2012?

We hope the launch of the EP will give us a good start to the year, but we’ll have to see where things go from there!

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2012 promises to be a big year for the boys, beginning with an official EP launch show on March 31 at The Loft and a string of summer tour dates to be announced.

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM...?

We all know that with great power comes great responsibility. However, some celebrities have done some really, REALLY stupid things, as these not-so Fab Four show…

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

MAINSTREAM

CELEBS

WHO (J US T ABOUT ) G OT AWAY WIT H IT...

TIM ALLEN

MEL GIBSON

Known for his role as the voice of Toy Story’s Buzz Lightyear, Allen was in serious danger of approaching infinity-and beyond, back in 1978, three years after his career as a stand-up comedian began to take off. He was at an airport with 1.4 lbs of cocaine secreted about his person, enough, as you might guess, for most of his fellow airport visitors to get very high indeed – without even boarding an aircraft. Caught and threatened with life imprisonment, Allen snitched on every drug dealer he knew, reducing his initial sentence down to a maximum of seven years. He was released after two years and now only gets a Buzz out of the massive pay-cheques that he regularly receives from Pixar.

Lovable Mel was arrested in 2006 for driving under the influence while speeding – caressing, as he did so, an open container of alcohol. According to a subsequent account of the incident in Vanity Fair magazine, Gibson told his arresting officer, “…my life is over. I’m f****d. Robyn (his wife) is going to leave me.” Class act Mel, what happened to Braveheart? He later pleaded guilty to the charge and was sentenced to three years probation, fined $1,300, and ordered to attend self-help classes. To add to his burgeoning reputation as someone who is living rather too close to the edge, other remarks made by Gibson have generated accusations of homophobia, anti-Semitism, racism and misogyny – all claims he has repeatedly denied.

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DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM...?

DR DRE Yes, the good Doctor himself. Much lauded rapper, producer and occasional actor, now a respected and extremely wealthy business mogul. Dre, real name Andre Young, once saw fit to physically beat US TV presenter Dee Barnes half to death. Dre and his cohorts were apparently annoyed that Barnes had interviewed ex-band member Ice Cube without their blessing, so, rather than have a friendly chat with her about it, Dre proceeded to beat ten bells of crap out of her!

But, because there is little justice in the world Dre is now a hugely famous, mainstream celebrity, where-as Barnes has relocated to the ‘Where Are They Now?’ file in comparison.

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JOEY BARTON Professional footballer Barton has somewhat re-invented himself in the last year or so, with over 600,000 devotees currently hanging onto every word of his peculiar homespun wisdom on Twitter. But Barton has not always been the thinking man’s footballer he now aspires to be.

Oh no. In 2004 he decided to liven up proceedings at his club’s (Manchester City) Christmas party by stubbing out his cigar in another players eye. A year later he was sent home from his clubs pre-season tour of Thailand for assaulting a 15-year-old fan of another club. In 2007 he was given a three month suspended sentence for committing an assault on another team mate, and in 2008 he was sentenced to six months imprisonment for assault during an incident outside a McDonald’s restaurant in Liverpool.

This was compounded by doing the same thing to yet another team mate at training, leading to a charge of assault occasioning actual body harm. The end result of this for Barton? Another four months suspended sentence.

Beautiful game? Maybe. Beautiful person? I think not.

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START YOUR ENGINES!

FORMULA

WR ITT EN BY BE

F U N!

N JON ES

is upon us ! rmula One season Fo w ne e th – t se ge t

MCLAREN

Most teams have already unveiled their 2012 cars. The excitement of fans at this news is in no way tempered by the reality that they look more or less the same as last year, with the possible exception of the new Caterham (formerly Lotus), which appears to be the motoring equivalent of a bulldog chewing a wasp.

There don’t appear to have been wholesale changes in driving personnel from last season, either.

The sport’s current ‘big three’ (Red Bull, McLaren and Ferrari) will all retain the same drivers as the 2011 campaign: Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber for Red Bull; the all-British pairing of Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button at McLaren; while Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa will be resplendent in Ferrari’s famous red.

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RED BULL Vettel is unquestionably the man to beat. Last season the German stormed to the Drivers’ Championship, sweeping all before him, winning so often it verged on tedium. He became the youngest driver to win his second championship, at only 24, while also surpassing Nigel Mansell’s record of 14 pole positions in a season – Vettel managed 15.

With Red Bull’s other driver, veteran Aussie Webber, also performing consistently, the Constructors title was also Red Bull’s long before the season was out.

So this year, the opposition has some catching up to do. Lewis Hamilton, in particular, has a point to prove. Since he won the Drivers’ Championship in 2008, he appears to be something of a lost soul, finishing fifth, fourth and fifth in the subsequent three campaigns. Increasingly unhappy at his car and its inferiority to the Red Bull machine, there have been suggestions that this season may be his last at McLaren unless there is a dramatic improvement. Whether that improvement is forthcoming will be key.

Button, world champion in 2009, seems to have the perfect mix of happy-go-lucky charm combined with a steely will to win that ensures he is a favourite of many. Known for his smooth driving style, he will be looking to go one better than his second place in the Drivers’ Championship last season.

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START YOUR ENGINES!

THE TRACKS The annual jamboree gets under way on March 16 with the practice day at the Australian Grand Prix in Melbourne – and ends in November with the Brazilian GP at Interlagos.

FERRARI Spaniard Alonso is always a good outside bet for Ferrari, as many would contend that he is the most talented driver on the grid. His frequent bust-ups with Hamilton while the pair were at McLaren were enjoyable for fans of the more old-fashioned rivalries, as Alonso is a maverick who appears to care little what others think of him. Massa, on the other hand, is the sort of solid, dependable character who will always offer consistent back-up.

THE OTHERS There are other interesting sub-plots among the drivers, too. Bruno ‘more famous for being the nephew of Ayrton’ Senna has secured a drive for Williams, while Scot Paul di Resta will be taking up the colours of Force India, having been many people’s ‘rookie of the season’ last time out.

The living legend that is Michael Schumacher will be a grid presence once again, although he will want to improve on last season’s performance, when he was outdriven

by Mercedes team mate Nico Rosberg.

As ever, there are new teams to learn about, as well. Virgin Racing have rebranded as Marussia Virgin, while Lotus is now Caterham, which feels like a welcome nod to Formula One’s past. Best not get too attached to the new boys, though – they might be gone after one season!

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As for the races themselves, there are some new (or perhaps new-ish) venues to enjoy. Bahrain makes a return following a hiatus in 2011 due to political unrest in the kingdom, while the Formula One coterie will be heading stateside once again, as the US Grand Prix returns, this time to the pristine Circuit of the Americas in Austin, Texas. Being the penultimate race in the calendar, it could have a big say in the eventual destination of the championship, too.

For those of us who aren’t in the Pussycat Dolls, and therefore can’t get to a race, the BBC will be offering comprehensive coverage for you to enjoy from the comfort of your armchair. From there, you can marvel at the width of David Coulthard’s jaw, or wonder whether Eddie Jordan has had too much caffeine.

Whatever the strength of your love for the sport, it promises to be a fascinating season. You’d be foolish to miss it.

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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WHO’S THAT GUY?...

The loner. The recluse. The mystery man. A man who’s such an enigma that other men want to be his mate and women want to seduce him. You want this power – you want it bad. Is it so hard to do? Well, yes, it is actually. Not everyone can be that enigmatic.

But you can try. Mayhem! offers the following hints on how you might make a few simple changes to your life and social standing by developing a mysterious allure...

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

HOW TO BECOME

A MAN OF

'MGH9FM 24 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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WHO’S THAT GUY?...

YOUR APPEARENCE

YOUR HOBBY

Before you think you’ve got this one sussed...it’s not all about shaggy hair, dark glasses and a long coat. Remember you’re going for sexy, powerful and mysterious here, not ‘oh-my-God-that-bloke-lookslike-he-might-kill-me’ mysterious. Your whole wardrobe should set you apart as someone who doesn’t give a flying one, nor has any interest in the current trends.

Look for and wear the timeless classics.

On the other hand, you could opt for the suit. A three-piece (that means waistcoat), dark, single breasted, white shirt, black shoes. Wear it regardless of what you are doing. At breakfast, in the pub, at the cinema, on the beach, at weekends and, whatever you do, never-ever take the jacket off. Be consistent, once you’ve adopted your fashion statement, stick with it. That will ensure that people know that this style, this look, is unapologetically yours.

Any aspiring mystery man needs a hobby.

And the more, well, mysterious it is, the better. So collecting stamps or knocking out the odd watercolour just won’t hack it. Get hold of a few slightly off the wall objects.

For example, never be seen without your gyroscope. The more eccentric it all looks, the more people will ask you about it.

If anyone asks, offer a response that acknowledges ownership, but goes no further – something like, “What, you’ve never seen a man with a purple gyroscope before?”

It’ll burn them up inside, while your mission of obscurity reaches near legendary status!

YOUR PHILOSOPY Make every idea, every utterance of yours special, shroud it in political and ideological obscurity. Read the works of Aristotle, Nietchze, Ayn Rand. Quote from them – it’s no good just being seen with a copy of Anthem tucked under your arm, you’ve got to know the books and the writers backwards. However, be modest with your quotes, indeed, with all of your words. To be a man of mystery – less is more. It all helps to make others think you are an enigmatic thinker who bears the unfortunate burden of knowing the truth.

After all, look at all the books you read!

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YOUR COMMITTMENT Remember, above all else, that an air of mystery cannot be attained overnight.

If you want to have the reputation of a drunken fool who shows himself up at parties, then yep, that can be attained overnight, no problem. Mystery man takes longer and is harder, but it will be worth it in the end. Allowing sufficient time for the puzzle that is the ‘new’ you to permeate the consciousness of everyone around you is crucial, if you try to rush it or force it, you’ll just look like another poser. Invest in your mystique. Stay dark. Stay mysterious. Stay focused. Stand alone. Remember, the ultimate objective is to show everyone else that you don’t care what anyone thinks or says about you – even though, to be fair, that’s all you ever worry about! But they don’t need to know that. Just stand in a quiet corner of the bar with a strange looking drink in your hand and a faraway look in your eyes and you’ll attract all sorts of interest in no time.

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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ONE TO ONE WITH‌

26 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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ONE TO ONE WITH…

ih an na R WITH ONE TO ONE

WRITTEN BY RACHEL CLARK/HOTFEATURES

Being badass in ‘Battleship’

Rihanna is currently wowing crowds around the world in an incredible array of outfits as she performs on stage for her ‘Loud’ tour, but fans will see a different side to the pop superstar when she makes her first movie appearance in ‘Battleship’. The ‘Umbrella’ singer ditched her make-up and designer clothes to join Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, Alexander Skarsgard and Liam Neeson in the blockbuster. Scheduled for release in April 2012, the 23-year-old plays Raikes in the film, who she describes as a “badass weapons officer”. Rihanna talks to us about her first acting experience and how she loves playing a really tough bad ass.

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

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ONE TO ONE WITH…

CAN YOU TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER AND THE SLIGHTLY TENSE RELATIONSHIP SHE HAS WITH HOPPER?

Yeah, well my character Raikes is a bad ass. She’s really tough, she’s one of the boys and can play just as hard as them if not harder. She loves weapons, and obviously, Hopper is even more bad ass and crazy than she is. She’s really intense, but nobody is as intense or adventurous and fearless as Hopper and to me, he’s a bit of a lunatic. Like, he does things that aren’t very safe. He takes chances, he’s fearless, and that’s where the tension comes.

ARE YOU ENJOYING PLAYING A BAD ASS?

Definitely! I mean, it’s like my everyday life (laughs). No, I really enjoy it. It’s a really cool part and has an excellent director. It’s my first film and to be in such a big film, as a freshman I would say, it’s really helpful when you have great direction. I think the fact that he’s been on this side of the camera himself helps.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN MOST FROM THIS EXPERIENCE?

Everything. Every day is a new learning experience. I really didn’t know, acting wise, what it was like being on a real movie set, and the whole process of it, the green screen, working with other actors... it’s all very new to me.

28 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

LE S H I P S U T BAT T C H E CK O ROM N E M AS F I N UK CI 12 AP R I L 2 0 T H E 11T H DID YOU HAVE ACTING ASPIRATIONS BEFORE PETER (DIRECTOR) PERSUADED YOU TO DO THIS ROLE?

WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THIS PROJECT?

Yes, definitely. Doing movies and getting into acting is something that I always wanted to try, but I never knew if I would like it, or hate it, or love it, but I wanted to try. I wanted to get in there, and I didn’t expect the role to be this big for getting my feet wet but I really am enjoying it.

BUT YOU KNEW THAT YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT IT?

I didn’t know, (laughs) I hoped (laughs) but with everything I do, I’m such a perfectionist at it so there’s those butterflies in my stomach when I think about the action, I still don’t know if it’s what they want, but I’m learning from the best.

I think I put a lot of pressure on myself because I take acting just as seriously as I take my music. It’s a whole other industry that I respect so much, so I’m really putting in a lot of hard work to make sure I don’t look like an idiot (laughs).

DO YOU THINK THAT VIDEOS WERE IN A WAY A PREPARATION FOR DOING A MOVIE?

It’s a whole new world. It’s very, very different. I mean, with videos for some reason, I nearly play myself in all my videos but now I’m getting into the body and character of someone else, and that’s different.

My bad ass-ness, (laughs), buns, that’s what I bring.

WHO DID YOU LISTEN TO AS A KID BEFORE YOU BECAME RIHANNA?

I listened to a lot of reggae music, but it was completely extreme how vast my taste was in music. I would listen to reggae, grimy dub, and then I would listen to Celine Dion and Mariah Carey. When I developed a passion for music, I knew it was what I really wanted to do. I loved the whole world of entertainment. It seemed really intriguing to me, and I guess I’m a very creative person, so I like expressing that through different outlets and acting is just a different way for me to be creative. That’s why I’m so anal about it, for lack of a better word.

DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO MEET REAL NAVY GIRLS? ARE THEY TOUGH?

Yes, I met real Navy Girls everyday on set, that’s the real cool thing about this film. A lot of the extras are real soldiers and people in the Navy, and even in this very room, most of those individuals are really in the Navy... so it was really cool. I learnt a lot from them. They are always there on set for me to ask questions about technical things and tactics.

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ONE TO ONE WITH… YOU WERE A CADET, WHAT MADE YOU CHOOSE THE CADETS?

Because it was like the toughest thing to do in school (laughs)! They came around to the school one day and were asking who wanted to be a recruit. I really didn’t know what it was, but the minute they said we got to shoot weapons, I said, ‘Yeah, I’m in!’ (laughs), it was something I never thought I would have done.

AND DID YOU GET TO SHOOT ANY?

Yes, I definitely had some practice in cadets, but even more shooting on this set.

HAVE YOU DONE THE ACTION SCENES ALREADY?

Yeah, there’s a lot of action, which I love.

AND WHAT WAS THE COOLEST OF THE ACTION SCENES YOU’VE DONE?

Well there were some scenes we shot in Hawaii where I got to just rip away on this big weapon. Then just recently I got to shoot what they call the Alien’s Thugs, which I think is really funny and cool at the same time but I get to shoot and attack and kill a lot of those and you’ll see that.

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS TO BE YOUR FIRST FILM?

Well, it kind of chose me. I didn’t even really know when I went into the meeting what film it was. I didn’t know that it was a farout film, (laughs). I just knew that I had a movie meeting, and I got to Peter’s office before my management, and we just started talking and he showed me all the characters and the aliens and he just started saying you know, this is a thug, and I just started laughing. He kind of gave me this look like no, no, really, and then I started looking around the room and I realised wow, there sure are a lot of pictures of aliens in here! It wasn’t until the end of the meeting that I realised he was the actual director of the film. I was really intrigued with the story, the way he explained it, it

sounded so cool and something that maybe I could accomplish as my first role. I felt very confident in him being the person in charge.

AS A NEWCOMER TO MOVIES, YOU’RE PROBABLY OVERWHELMED. ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT WORK, DID YOU SEE ALIENS IN YOUR DREAMS?

Well definitely. I mean, I haven’t been dreaming of aliens, (laughs) but I’m used to having work on my mind all the time, and I think that’s a great thing. It’s a good thing sometimes to get a break from that mentally but for the purpose of staying in character, I don’t mind thinking about it all the time. As I said, it’s something new to me, so I don’t mind overworking myself to get it done.

YOU AND EMINEM DID A VIDEO, HOW WAS THAT?

Well actually, Eminem reached out to me and he proposed us doing a duet together. Automatically I was just shocked that Eminem would ever do a song with me, pop Rihanna, you know, and here’s Eminem. He always makes fun of pop artists, so I never thought in a million years he would want to work with me. But that was exciting and then I heard the song and I loved it, and it really blew up a lot bigger than I even expected.

I knew I loved it, but it was really exciting to see how much the world really appreciated it as well.

AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PINK HAIR?

(Laughs) It’s under here somewhere.

It’s hidden away under Raikes’ hair.

DO YOU CHANGE YOUR STYLE ALL THE TIME, WHENEVER YOU NEED TO, TO PROMOTE YOUR MUSIC?

Yes, definitely, two different wigs (laughs). There’s the Rihanna wig and the Raikes wig, this is Raikes today (laughs).

SO DO YOU LIKE BOTH CAREERS?

Yes. The real cool thing actually about being on set, or doing a film is it’s a

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really big change of pace for me.

When I’m being Rihanna, I’m so used to getting on a plane, almost every day, if not twice a day, traveling a lot, always something to do. I really enjoy, for a change, being here, being in one place, for one project, and it’s a little more focused, and a lot slower in pace, which I can definitely appreciate! It’s definitely different to what I’m used to, but I could get used to this (laughter).

SO YOU ARE ENJOYING IT.

Yes, definitely. It’s been a wonderful experience so far.

WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH MOST ON SET?

Oh my gosh, besides Pete? He makes everybody laugh, you will be in the middle of a take and he will start saying gibberish over a bullhorn and you have to keep a serious face.

YOU’RE STILL YOUNG. WHAT DOES YOUR MUM SAY NOW THAT YOU ARE GOING OUT IN THE WORLD ALL THE TIME?

She’s really good at giving me my wings and letting me fly. She’s always been good at letting me learn about life for myself. She can only teach me and warn me about certain things, but a kid will never know their heart until they touch it. I listen to her, but sometimes you just have to experience the real world for yourself, and I mean, l learnt the hard way that my mum knows best (laughter).

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS?

Well, I’m not really sure, you know.

It’s one of those things that I don’t put a lot of thought into, it’s very possible, so I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no, because I don’t know for sure.

But it’s something cool to believe in.

It’s something cool to imagine that there’s a whole other world out there.

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IF YOU FEEL IF THE AUDIENCE LIKES YOU IN THIS MOVIE, WILL YOU HAVE LIKE TWO CAREERS? If they like me? Hell yeah! (laughter).

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

29

GAMING ON THE GO!

TOP 5

CHEAP GAMING APPS

at gaming W e all know th ns iv e hobby. can be an ex pe cost up w ar d As gam es now not man y of e, of £40 a tim to fe ed this us can af ford th w e’ ve habit. This mon r list of pu t toge th er ou

WRITTEN BY JACQUE VOLLER

SUPER MAN

INFINITY BLADE II While at £4.99, this is the most expensive app on the list, it’s the most consolelike out of the five, with stunning graphics that match some of the big consoles. While the game follows the simple swipe screen to attack/on-rails game mechanics from the start, it also adds many RPG elements that we’ve come to expect from games like Skyrim and Dragon Age.

The Man of Steel finally gets a decent adaptation in the form of a 2D side scroller. Superman takes the form of a wave by wave beatthem-up that’s nicely tied together with a shoestring narrative.

The one thing that this game gets right is balance. Past Superman games have struggled to find the right balance in the villains, what with you being an indestructible God and all, but this actually provides a challenge in requiring you to complete multiple challenges at once.

30 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

MOTO X MAYHEM CUT THE ROPE

TEMPLE RUN

This simple, yet addictive game requires you to literally ‘Cut the Rope’.

A simple premise – get the candy into the creature’s mouth.

Sounds simple at first, but as you progress through the differently themed level packs, you’ll encounter more and more challenging levels that you’ll rage over and then find yourself playing it again within the hour.

Ever dreamed of being Indiana Jones running away from that boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark? Well, now you can live out that dream with Temple Run. While it may not be as graphically superior as the others on this list, it is one of the most fun. The objective is simple, run for as long as you can, while avoiding the booby traps, pitfalls and tree roots.

Like Superman, this is a simple 2D side scroller, but unlike Superman, you’re not beating up wave after wave of enemies.

Instead, you take on the role of a simple motorcyclist, doomed to constantly drive over difficult terrain with no respite apart from falling off the bike, that will take hours out of your time and wont allow you to give up until you’ve completed it.

Other than that, it’s an all round good motocross game.

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THE DON INVESTIGATES...

Retro GAMING Gamers are spoilt for choice these days. Modern gaming consoles offer incredible graphics and sound, as well as being rich in character and intricate in detail, and with every upgrade, the industry takes a giant leap forward – so how long until we’re all playing in a virtual reality world?

We may snigger at just how uncool a game or console from two to three years ago might look now. But how about a quarter of a century ago? Gaming was just starting out then and was as new, exciting and revolutionary as it is today. The Don grabs a pocketful of 10p’s and takes a wistful look back in time…

SPACE INVADERS PONG Where it all began. Black background – simple white graphics. Pong was a tennis based game that was the first of its kind to achieve mainstream popularity.

The aim was to defeat your opponent by simply earning a higher score and was harder than it looked.

The game was available on a simple console that plugged into your TV at home and was a ‘must have’ Christmas present of the late 1970’s.

32 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

The original and the best – and the source of that early 1980’s phrase ‘have you got 10p?’ Indeed, in Japan, where the game originated, its popularity caused a temporary shortage of 100 yen coins!

It caused quite a stir when it arrived in the UK’s pubs and clubs as it was so completely ahead of its time, being the first game in which targets shot back, and killed the player. It remains popular today and both its design and booming soundtrack have become iconic symbols of gaming.

ZX81 The ZX81 was the first popular home computer produced and manufactured in the UK – the X-Box of its time.

Launched in 1981, it was hugely successful and sold more than 1.5 million units before it was discontinued.

Games were very simple with graphics that were often composed of ‘blocks’ or keyboard characters.

They were loaded onto a normal TV via a cassette tape, so were hugely unreliable. The machine itself had a mere 1KB of memory – mobiles today can have up to 4GB, which is more than four million KB’s!

ZX SPECTRUM The successor to the ZX81 and the first mainstream home PC in the UK. It’s credited today as being the machine that launched the UK IT industry. Such is its ongoing popularity that games are still being released for this early console today, with the older titles – Jet Pac, Chuckie Egg and Jet Set Willy as playable today as they were then. These were among the first colour games launched in the UK, as well as being the first games that scrolled across the screen, rather than having a static one.

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THE DON INVESTIGATES...

ASTEROIDS As soon as Space Invaders was launched, the race was on to improve upon it and to launch the game that would be the next ‘big thing’ in video gaming. Asteroids was a contender. The aim of the game was to control a small spaceship in an asteroid field that was regularly and aggressively patrolled by flying saucers – avoiding and ultimately eliminating them while also destroying the asteroids.

Graphically simple yet compelling to play, the game remains popular and is currently available, over a quarter of a century after its launch on the Xbox 360.

DRAGON 32

SEGA MEGA DRIVE

This home computer was meant to be the next big thing, the successor to the ZX Spectrum that took gaming to another level.

Launched in 1984 and all British, its major fault was that the lower case characters could not be easily displayed – quite a design let down, even in those early days!

As a result, it was not a commercial success.

This was launched in 1988 and was the first console to achieve high sales in both Europe and North America.

In fact, it’s probably the ‘daddy’ of all today’s modern consoles. Gaming wise, it’s most famous for being the console that launched the now mega popular Sonic the Hedgehog. It was also one of the first consoles to have a more sophisticated control pad.

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So, next time you and your buds are blowing away the Hun on Call of Duty, think of those early designers and players. If it hadn’t been for their commitment, you wouldn’t be playing what you are playing today – indeed, you’d probably still be twiddling the knobs on that Etch A Sketch!

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

33

KISSING…

WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

TONSIL TENNIS!

WHAT’S HOT AND WHAT’S NOT?

! e at Mayh em T h e team h er h rc a ou ld re se decide d w e w kis se s ou t th e hot te st ion mooch -se ss th ere for a ot, HOT ! that ’s hot, h h was super T h e re searc of e are som e fun an d h er ti d wors t) ps th e bes t (an wit h! w e cam e up

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT Basically this boils down to fluttering your eyelashes over your partner’s lips, cheeks and eyelids. It’s supposed to feel really nice, but we think it smacks of teenage-dreams somehow!

Our advice to boys would be…don’t do it! For girls we would say only with a boyfriend and, even then, only if he really likes all that mushy stuff!

SAY WHAT? The ear is supposed to be one of the most sensitive parts of the body (that you can get to in civilised society anyway)! Softly biting the earlobe and making circling movements with your tongue can be really erotic, but make sure you control the saliva flow and keep smacking noises to a minimum!

Perfect this technique and it’ll work every time!

34 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

GOOD BYE KISS SPLASH! No, we’re not talking about really wet ones…that’s just gross! This lippy lovely is best performed by holding your breath, submerging yourself in water and going in for a sexy, underwater kiss. Great in theory, but a bit tough to practice in real life (great for holidays though). And no, chucking a pint of beer over your head is not the same thing and people tend to mind when you do that!

This is best used to give someone a ‘taste’ of what’s to come or as part of a break up to show them what they’re missing. It all comes down to grabbing each other passionately and going to town – one step away from heavy petting! Boys should place their hands on the small of her back and around her neck to achieve the maximum ‘ooh’ factor. Girls should go for the neck too and also grab his arm to make him feel macho. All parties should remember to squeeze!

Good luck lip lockers! Mwa!

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ANYTHING

GOES Vintage Clothing

the mayhem magazine KEEP UPTO DATE WITH

Anything Goes is the charity shop for Bivol Trust, which provides art, dressmaking and social groups for young people with learning disabilities in Portsmouth, Fareham and Gosport.

Come to us for an excellent range of affordable vintage clothing! If you are looking for special outfits from the 1940’s or 1950’s or just funky dresses, tops, skirts, jeans, bags or accessories from the 1960’s, 70’s or 80’s, come and have a look! See also our special range of rare and sought after Edwardian and 1930’s dresses – ideal for weddings and a fraction of the usual cost!

We also sell vinyls, vintage books and bric-a-brac.

Visitors to our shop are amazed at our low prices and will come back time and again, so why not join them? You will come away with a bargain and you will be helping young disabled people too!!

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36 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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Fashion is the first love of Mia Mai. Believing that the way you dress can change the way you feel about yourself, Mia Mai is all about reintroducing glamour, beauty and vintage passion back into your everyday lives. Mia Mai pieces are reminiscent of the past, the 1940’s and 50’s in particular.

These subtle influences can be seen in all her collections. Offering a bespoke design service Mia Mai is interested in collaborations with other designers, photographers and models.

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

37

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

39

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

41

WRITTEN BY DANIEL TIDBURY

MAYHEM! REVIEWS…

e We at Mayh em! feel it ’s only fair to shar t wors and best our expe rt opinions on the things to expe rience in Port smou th. We le rece ntly took a trip to Chez Choi Nood

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– take them or leav e them , it ’s up to you ! but we had a great time

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‘all yo u can eat ’ fo r £8.95 .

The staff are pleasant and greet you as you enter with a wide, genuine smile and guide you to the most appropriate seating. Just as you’re settling down the drinks menu arrives and orders come in no time at all. We opt for the ‘all you can eat’ buffet but the full menu is on offer for those looking for something a little more specific. We’re offered a friendly run down of the buffet menu and politely instructed to help ourselves. We also liked the fact that used plates and cutlery were quickly and quietly removed throughout the meal to make space for seconds, thirds, fourths…

FOOD

ATMOSPHERE Wednesdays are a popular night but the atmosphere is still relaxed.

There’s no rushing and staff are attentive but generally go unnoticed which makes the experience smooth and fluid. It’s warm and there is light background music, which doesn’t interfere with the welcoming hum of happy conversation across the tables. This makes the atmosphere comfortable and not overwhelming for smaller groups or couples.

On the buffet there is a selection of delicious starters and soup for those who like it. We went back for seconds and thirds on the starters – it was that good! Main courses are also excellent and there is a good selection of dishes up for grabs including vegetarian options, with plenty of rice and noodles to soak up the goodness. Everything is fresh and regularly topped up from the kitchen. To finish the evening there’s a fun chocolate fountain with marshmallows and fruit – for those who left a little space for dessert.

Overall, an excellent night and a belly full tasty chinese cuisine. Highly recommended!

★★★★ Star rating 42 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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INTERVIEW BY TORY NAIRN

CATCH UP WITH BAZ WARNE, FROM…

It has often been said that The Stranglers are probably the most enduring band of the UK punk/new wave era, while at the same time being the least celebrated. A number of current bands cite The Stranglers as an influence; concerts are packed; and the loyalty of their fans is legendary – following the band from gig to gig (both domestically and around the world) and amassing huge collections of recordings and memorabilia are common-place.

Being the only band out of the ‘Four Kings’ of the punk rock movement with a continuing successful recording career, The Strangers have certainly maintained their ability to captivate an audience. With top 40 hits spanning 34 years and through four decades, the band has also charted 24 top 40 singles with cumulative worldwide sales of over 16 million. They continue to deliver an impressive and enrapturing live show, selling out across the UK. We caught up with Baz Warne ahead of their tour date at the Pyramids Centre this month.

Tell us about the new album, Is it the best one yet?

It is with me yeah...I’ve been in the band for 12 years and this is the 3rd album I’ve been involved with.

Would you say you played a part in the punk movement in the late 70s?

How different is the band today?

Do you still only wear black?

I don’t think The Stranglers were ever a punk band...there were elements of punk and a definite attitude, yeah, but they were older than most and could really play. We’re still the same today and yes, we still wear black…you don’t have to wash your clothes so much!

44 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

You and JJ, are the main writers. You must have amazing chemistry, what are your methods for songwriting?

Can The Stranglers be pigeonholed into one genre?

No…there’s far too much going on for that…listen back to the old albums and try to bracket us, it can’t be done!

We understand the track, ‘Another Camden Afternoon’ was inspired by the mugging JJ Burnel witnessed in Camden. Do all your tracks

He didn’t actually witness it, but it was a shocking read...they mounted the pavement in their car and ran a woman down to get her bag.

We don’t really have any set methods.

We know what we like and after the song has been kicked about for a while it either comes out the other end nice and shiney or it doesn’t.

I’m simplifying it a bit of course but that’s kinda how it works for us.

Are there any hidden talents within the band?

Actually, Dave’s a pilot and Jet’s an inventor of some repute.

We’re all very clever!

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CATCH UP WITH BAZ WARNE, FROM…

N GET THIS I !

YOUR LIFE

this is your 17th album, how do you decide on the tracks for your 90 minute set?

A big punch up usually sorts it! No actually, we take it very seriously.

There’s a balance to strike between what we as the band want to play and what we think the audience wants to hear. We get there in the end but sometimes it’s difficult. There are an awful lot of songs to choose from!

Do you all try to keep your social lives separate from your professional musical career?

Yeah, as much as possible, but again that’s not always easy either.

The lines can blur quite easily and very quickly.

You’ve released your forthcoming tour dates on Facebook. How important is social media for you?

Are you regular ‘tweeters’?

No, not regular tweeters at all…but the social networking scene works for us.

If you want a lot of people to know where you are and what you’re doing all at the same time? Post it…

ou t o n Ch eck th em

archth 13 M Port smou

www.stranglers.net

at th e en tre Pyr amids C

With the recent release of your album you must spend a lot of time on the road. Does it ever become tiresome? Do you ever get to kick back with a beer and a Sunday roast?

We kick back all the time and the minute it becomes tiresome we’ll stop doing it. Even when you feel lousy and there’s still a show to do, once the adrenaline kicks in you end up loving it as much as you ever did.

We’re privileged to be doing this, and we never take it for granted.

Tell us about your best and worst memories of being in The Stranglers?

Don’t really have any bad one’s to be honest. A good one? Going to Japan and Australia for the first time some years ago. Amazing experiences!

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There have been a few band member changes over the years. Has this affected the dynamics of the band?

Was it all acrimonious?

There haven’t been as many members as you think…it’s over 35 years since this band formed and three out of the original four are still here.

It was pretty acrimonious so I’m told yeah, but that’s their business really.

Do any of you have any bad habits on the tour bus?

Of course...that’s the fun part.

Are you playing any festivals this year?

I believe we are yes, but as the line ups haven’t been made public yet I can’t really say…watch this space.

Is there anything else you would like to tell Mayhem! readers about that we haven’t covered?

Yeah… come and see one of the bands that started it all…it’s still as good as ever it was.

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

45

MEN ARE FROM MARS!

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WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? It’s a tricky one – no easy questions in this game. You’re rumbled – she’s caught you as your gaze drifted off into the middle distance like a monk during a particularly fervent bout of meditation. Snapping out of your ambient trance, you must never, ever admit to pondering on the traditional male domains of beer, football, or anything inaccessible or incomprehensible to the fairer sex.

Instead, tell her you were using a moment of quiet reflection to enjoy her beauty and grace as she sits next to you on the sofa.

If, however, trouble in paradise rears its ugly head and you find yourself in even the most trivial of arguments, something along the lines of ‘taking stock of the situation’ may bail you out, without losing track of what caused this lover’s tiff. It might buy you some time, if nothing else.

46 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

DO I LOOK FAT? Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

She’s taken you clothes shopping (worth it for brownie points alone, you could argue) and seen jeans she really, really likes. After she’s dragged herself into the changing room and squeezed into the tightest pair she can find, while you do your best to gaze on adoringly, she takes you aside and asks if you think she looks big-boned.

Even if she resembles something akin to a hipster Jabba the Hutt, feelings must be taken into account. As she wails theatrically that she must look like Miss Piggy, simply take her hand and tell her that, to you, she’s a vision of heaven. Everyone else in the store might think you’re mad, but true love is blind, and declaring so will convince her that she’s bagged a knight in shining armour, even if you yourself are far from perfect.

IS THAT GIRL MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ME? Ah, the verbal wrestling match in which your beloved pits herself against some imagined rival for your love and possibly your loins.

However your answer to this could leave you looking like the loser of a particularly violent bout, but defuse the situation by trash-talking the competition. Imagining an alternate reality in which you really are with her best mate or ‘her over there in a social setting really isn’t worth it, as it will open up a whole world of pain as she rips you to shreds in all possible senses.

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Portraiture doesn’t have to be stiff and boring!

„ „ 777 4)$"5290(/4/'2!0(9 #/-

I’LL DRINK TO THAT!

ALL HAIL REAL ALE WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

k Once se en as a drin arde d for dads or fat be se en a m en , real ale has nd in complet e turnarou look s recent years an d it ng in to se t to cont inue lo en tly, the future . Appar not the recess ion has be en m eant an yone has mon ey ! skimping on be er Did you know that almost 100 new breweries were set up in 2011? This brings the total up to 840 breweries in Britain. These then fire up the coppers to brew around 5,500 different real ales, so if you wanted to try a new beer every day, it would take you about 15 years!

However, not everything is rose-tinted (or beer-goggled) in the world of real ales. Pubs around the UK are still struggling with huge taxes, supermarket prices, people choosing to drink at home or brew their own and independent pubs are fighting to compete with bigger national chains. Also, despite an increase in interest for real ale, the amount we Brits are actually drinking is in decline, with people favouring wine, cider and alcho-pops etc.

In actual fact, due to its limited availability in supermarkets, real ale-drinkers are more than twice as likely to go to the pub regularly then non real-ale drinkers. So, not only are they helping the British economy, they’re also keeping your local afloat!

So let’s raise a toast to all the real ale drinkers out there… cheers!…and if you fancy giving real ale a go, here are few to get you started… 48 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

1) OLD SPECKLED HEN

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2) BISHOPS FINGER

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3) DOOM BAR

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4) HOBGOBLIN

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5) SUMMER LIGHTNING "O FYUSFNFMZ QMFBTBOU CJUUFS TUSBX DPMPVSFE CFFS XJUI B IPQQZ BSPNB DPVQMFE XJUI BO JOUFOTF CJUUFSOFTT BOE B ESZ çOJTI

6) SPI TFIRE.

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7) OLD PECULIER

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8) EXMOOR GOLD

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WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

HERE’S TO PADDY!

FAR FROM

CRAGGY

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Even the simple act of wearing green is believed to date from around the 17th Century, and the prominence of the shamrock is said to have been another of St Patrick’s innovations – using its three leaves to explain the principle of the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit) to the early Irish Christians. Having conducted intensive research, there is no evidence linking him to the comparatively more recent custom of wandering from pub to pub dressed as a leprechaun and attempting to guzzle as much Guinness as possible in between choruses of anthems like Thin Lizzy’s ‘Whiskey In The Jar’ with a terrible approximation of the Irish accent.

The day itself has been a public holiday in Ireland since around the ninth Century, with celebrations spreading around the world as Irishmen and women (and those of Irish ancestry) all play host to parades.

So whether you’re a genuine or ‘plastic’ Paddy, raise a Guiness or two to good old St Patrick in the interest of culture instead of trotting out lazy ‘Drink! Feck! Arse!’ stereotypes (although that may come after the few pints, in which case you may be forgiven).

50 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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AMAZING PHOTOS

es e h t t u o k c ch e

AMAZING S

PHOTO

g photos send us your amazin in ne xt time! an d w e’ll st ick’ em in e.co .uk hello@may hemmag az

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

51

SLĂ INTE!

ST. PADDY’S DAY

WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

COCKTAIL IDEAS ‘Tis the day for merry frolicking around with ye fellow Irishmen from pub to pub.

But what shall ye drink, ye ask? Not to worry, ye lucky leprechaun. Old glorious Mayhem! has ye covered with Irish concoctions that ’ll have ye singing Molly Malone at Lannigan’s Ball with the Black Velvet Band. SLà INTE!

MIDORI JUNE BUG If you’re not a true Irishman, and you need to ease your way into the day with something a little subdued and, ahem, fruity. Don’t worry, we won’t judge.

Just sit back and indulge in a tasty Midori June Bug. Mix together in a tall glass: q P[ .JEPSJ NFMPO MJRVFVS q � P[ DPDPOVU SVN q � P[ CBOBOB MJRVFVS q P[ TXFFU BOE TPVS NJY q P[ QJOFBQQMF KVJDF Like we said, we’re not judging‌ so feel free to garnish with that totally effeminate cocktail umbrella and sip it with a swirly straw.

IRISH BOMB Like a car that needs refueling before heading into work, your body needs some liquid diesel to help prepare it for the day ahead. That’s why the Irish Bomb is the perfect early afternoon jumpstart to fuel you for the rest of the festivities to come! q 1PVS � QJOU PG Guinness into a glass q 'JMM B TIPU HMBTT with half Jameson and ½ Irish crème q %SPQ UIF TIPU into the pint glass and down the hatch!

52 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

IRISH KISS Since you’re probably striking out with the ladies, we thought we’d give you an Irish Kiss instead‌

IRISH TRASHCAN At this point it’s only fitting that you treat yourself to an Irish Trash Can:

Rub a Champagne flute with sugar then mix the following ingredients and pour them in the flute: q P[ CSVU $IBNQBHOF q P[ .JEPSJ .FMPO q (SFFO GPPE DPMPSJOH It may not be the same as consensual sex, but let’s face facts‌ this is the only action you’ll be getting tonight. Take it or leave it.

Fill a tall glass with ice then mix in: q – P[ HJO q – P[ MJHIU SVN q – P[ WPELB q – P[ QFBDI Schnapps q – P[ 5SJQMF 4FD q – P[ #MVF $VSBDBP q DBO PG 3FE #VMM For the added trash can effect, be sure to leave your empty Red Bull sticking out of the glass.

IRISH DREAM After a long day of chasing leprechauns and imbibing unimaginable cocktails, you need something that’ll put you to sleep. That’s why we suggest the Irish Dream as the perfect nightcap for your St. Paddy’s Day.

Blend the following ingredients with ice then pour into tall glass: q – P[ *SJTI DSĂŒNF q – P[ IB[FMOVU MJRVFVS q Â? P[ #SPXO $SĂŒNF EF $BDBP q TDPPQ PG WBOJMMB JDF DSFBN

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A CHAT WITH…

B V IE W IN T E R

54 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

Y JE N

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A CHAT WITH…

You may have found yourself singing along to ‘Ray Charles’ on the radio recently unaware of the talent behind the track, Chiddy Bang. An American alternative hip-hop duo who have recently had their debut single Opposite of Adults certified gold in the US and reach number 11 in the singles chart here in the UK. Mayhem! got the chance to prod and poke one member of Chiddy Bang, Noah ‘Xaphoon Jones’ Beresin (the self labeled white kid), who reveals the secret to their banging success so far…

So Xaphoon, we understand you and Chidera ‘Chiddy’ Anamege met as freshers.

You must spend a lot of time together, have you ever fallen out?

Yes absolutely. It’s mostly over musical decisions but often resolved quickly. At this point we could probably predict what the other would say anyway. Surprisingly, on the road, not that much.

Was your sound and musical mission always clear from the start?

I think we figured it out bit by bit along the way. I think we get labelled as the hip-hop group that draws samples from ‘indie rock’ (whatever that means) but people tend to overlook that we use reggae, soul, jazz, and punk samples too.

Does the name Chiddy Bang have anything to do with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or is it just a coincidence?

What inspired the name?

I think Chiddy’s Myspace was called ‘Chiddy Bang Entertainment’ or something. Well his name is Chiddy and we were making tunes so fast we never had time to choose a proper name.

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

55

A CHAT WITH‌

56 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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A CHAT WITH… Express’ tells the story of Chiddy Bang’s rise in the music business - was there anything you found about one of your worst or most hilarious memories during your

Having had the ‘Pretty Much Amazing Showcase’ feature your song’s from Myspace, how instrumental would you say online social media and sharing has been in your success?

I’d say if you’re starting your musical career in the new millennium, it’s pretty important.

We noticed that you follow the traditional routes of referring to your compilations as mixtapes.

How important is the historical value of this reference in hip-hop?

Is it called a mixtape because it’s more personal?

The historical value is not really the important thing to focus on. What mixtapes do is allow the hip-hop community to create an informal medium for new music. By deeming something a ‘mixtape’, you’re basically saying ‘this music is unmixed, often unmastered, potentially with uncleared samples’.

But I’m not looking to sell this for a profit. I wish to create an organised listening experience, similar to an album, to give the listener an accurate portrait of my musical abilities.

Mayhem! heard that Chiddy broke the Guinness World Record for the Longest Freestyle Rap. How long was it? And what motivated him to get through it?

It was 9 hours 18 minutes and 22 seconds. I think he was motivated by the fact that MTV essentially challenged him to do it. Anyone who has one foot in the pop music world will have to understand the constant battle for relevance in today’s music.

Success wasn’t really a fight, nor is it a definite position, place, or moment.

There is not simply a great task, that when completed, will mark the user with a stamp. Success is a series of plateaus and, while working with a major label has meant a series of often frustrating compromises, it’s definitely a path we both wanted to try for ourselves.

When it came to ‘Air Swell’, was it tricky to obtain the rights or get these artists involved?

Because it was an informal mixtape, we didn’t feel we needed to secure the rights to anything. Our label helped us obtain some of the multi-tracks to certain samples of EMI Artists, but that was it. We put it online for free.

That tour was a lot of fun. We had our brothers XV and Donnis open up the tour, and I got to bring two friends from home along to sell merchandise. Definitely one of the best summers of my life.

You hit a few festivals during this time, which one was the most memorable? Do you have any festival

Lollapalooza was one of the ones we played while on that tour, and it was our first US festival. I remember being really nervous. We were used to UK festivals but the fact that it was our first US festival just really hit home. Look out for us at a festival near you, soon!

How often do you get to have some downtime with your family and friends?

Haha, it’s truly difficult. I try and go home as often as possible, but you really have to go into survival mode and try to find friends in your area of work. They may not feel as close to you, but they will understand what you deal with more.

Your song, Ray Charles, has brought a legend back into the limelight, he in your own music?

Our song Ray Charles is a tip of the hat to his confidence and charisma. He’s definitely one of the more sampled artists and has been an influence both directly and indirectly on lots of different genres besides hip-hop.

We had a listen to your new album, Breakfast. An Impressive summer and each song has a new mood or emotional message, but didn’t seem to take itself too seriously. Has the album been a sporadic mix of themes or was there a structured plan to the tracks written and selected for it?

While there was structure and planning, there was so much travelling that the album can feel a bit all over the place at times. But it’s just a reflection of us! Certainly I would change a great many things about this album, but I see it more as a learning experience for me and less of a summation of all I am capable of artistically.

Release album, promote album, tour to support the album, make new songs, repeat? Hmmm.

For more info check out www.chiddybang.net or facebook/chiddybang

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

57

GET INVOLVED!

HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO PUT A HAT ON YOUR HEAD? On the 30th of March 2012 Brain Tumour Research and its member charities will be encouraging nurseries, schools, colleges, universities, public sector bodies and office workers to make a donation in order to nominate their ‘head’ to wear a hat for the day in aid of the charity’s annual ‘Wear a Hat Day’. The campaign aims to raise awareness regarding the prevalence of brain tumours and the need for vital research.

‘Wear a Hat Day’ is an annual awareness day which encourages people to make donations to wear a hat to school or in the office. This year Brain Tumour Research is also encouraging students and workers nationwide to challenge their ‘head’ to wear a hat for the day. From sponsored silences to charity runs and office bake-offs, organisations around the country are being encouraged to raise money in any which way they see fit in order to sponsor their ‘head’ to wear a hat.

Brain Tumour Research has recruited the help of Kate Langrish-Smith, crowned ‘Hat Maker of the Year 2010’, to develop the official range of campaign hats. Instructions to make your own bespoke hat will be available to download from the website alongside another downloadable PDF which will allow you to create your own hat simply out of paper. These interactive features allow everyone to access and support the campaign and both DIY hats will be accompanied by an online instructions video.

Sue Farrington-Smith, Director of Brain Tumour Research, comments: “Brain Tumour Research receives less than 1% of national cancer research spending in the UK yet the deadly disease kills more children and people under the age of 40 than any other cancer. ‘Wear a Hat Day’ is a fun way of increasing awareness and getting people raising money for an often overlooked form of cancer”.

Philip Treacy, celebrity hat designer and patron to the charity, comments: “Fashion is a feeling and a mood and therefore how better to express your passion and commitment to a subject such as brain tumour research than by wearing a fantastic hat? Everybody who gets involved will feel a million dollars on the day, whilst also raising much needed research funds and awareness.”

Philip has also contributed to the campaign by providing an image of a hat that he has designed for an exclusive brooch that will be available as a limited edition. This brooch will be available for purchase through Brain Tumour Research, alongside this year’s wear a hat badges which will be launched for sale during March – brain tumour awareness month.

Launched in 2009, the charity was established specifically to raise funds for brain tumour research. Brain Tumour Research represents the united campaign voice of the Brain Tumour Research group of 18 charities.

In 2010 these charities jointly raised nearly £2 million with funds raised being allocated to provide support and research at existing UK centres where brain tumour research is already being carried out.

5P HFU JOWPMWFE SFRVFTU ZPVS GVOESBJTJOH QBDL PS GPS GVSUIFS CBDLHSPVOE JOUP #SBJO 5VNPVS 3FTFBSDI HP UP www.braintumourresearch.org.

For more information about Brain Tumour Research and our annual Wear A Hat Day please visit www.braintumourresearch.org 58 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

To help your day be a success we have put together some great materials: Djg LZVg 6 =Vi 9Vn X]VgVXiZg WVY\Zh VcY WVaaddch eajh edhiZgh! an A–Z of Hats and a Hat Quiz , Ndj XVc YdlcadVY ^chigjXi^dch VcY eViiZgch id bV`Z djg WZhed`Z hats, created by Kate Langrish, crowned ‘2010 Hat Maker of the Year’ www.braintumourresearch.org/wear-a-hat-day >chigjXi^dch id bV`Z V Xdadjg[ja lgVee^c\ eVeZg ]Vi LViX] djg VXXdbeVcn^c\ k^YZdh id bV`Z djg WZhed`Z ]Vih VcY eVeZg hats www.youtube.com/braintumourresearch IgZVi ndjghZa[ id Vc ZmXajh^kZan YZh^\cZY WgddX] WVhZY dc V ]Vi designed by celebrity milliner Philip Treacy order from karen@braintumourresearch.org To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

Reg charity no: 1093411

16,000

diagnosed with a

PUT A

each year

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IN E W C NST RAGAI A AIN URS R O B M HELP US U T RAISE

£7 MILLION every year to fight brain tumours

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HELEN’S POLAR CHALLENGE

60 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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HELEN’S POLAR CHALLENGE

…and her Antarctic adventure skelton takes on this year, helen f lie Re t or Sp sform the In support of y, helping tran e to raise mone ng orest le po al ch ds rl ird her th me of the wo in Britain and so ats ch n le he f, of lives of those t e se king before sh countries. Spea

What are you most looking forward to about the challenge?

Getting to the end and looking back on an amazing adventure. I love the camaraderie of expeditions and having a random experience with random people.

What made you want to try and reach the South Pole?

I feel like it’s the ultimate challenge for me. I’ve never experienced anything like it. So if I can cope with this I am hoping I will be able to cope with anything.

How well do you think you will cope with the extreme cold?

Not well. I haven’t experienced anything like that before. I don’t know what to expect and wearing all the clothes means it’s hard to manoeuvre!

I imagine it will be frustrating.

How much training have you done to prepare for the challenge?

Have you had to learn any survival techniques?

The biggest learning curve has been survival skills. I don’t feel I’ve done enough training, but I never do!

You have taken on some pretty tough challenges – what inspires you to do them? And what thoughts keep you going during to Sierra Leone I can’t complain when I think about the lives of some of the children I have met. I say difficult and impossible are two different things and take on these challenges to prove this point to the audience.

What home luxuries do you think you will miss the most?

The toilet. My hairbrush. Being able to wear contact lenses without my eyes stinging!

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RE LI EF CH ECK OU T SPORT CH AR M H 5T ON 23RD –2 How many layers of clothing will you need to wear each day?

Loads! It depends how much activity we are doing! Apparently if you’re sweating you’re dying so I’ll be trying not to sweat. skiing, kiting or cycling stage the hardest?

Cycling. It was invented years ago but it hasn’t been done, which suggests it’s not that easy. Everyone’s been telling me it can’t be done.

Who are you going to miss the most while on your challenge?

My parents, brother and dog.

Which aspect of the challenge do you anticipate being the hardest?

E.g. the freezing temperatures, the ferocious winds and blizzards, the sheer distance (500 miles) or the constant light?

Not being able to use a toilet, wash my hair and eat something I like.

The elements are what they are but things like having a bed and a cup of tea are the little things that can make tough situations bearable.

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

61

THE LOST HOUR

BNl QN CIRCLING IN BLIND

BNl QN 803%4 */50 .07&.&/5 Portsmouth High School for Girls Kent Road, PO5 3EQ A unique dance workshop.

Using a variety of classic literature and guided by Amy Ireland, participants will translate the written word into movement to create a story-telling short performance.

Book in advance on: amy.ireland@por.gdst.net

A Fantastic Day of FREE events!

The clocks go forward an hour and to celebrate the lighter nights Portsmouth plays host to a myriad of events. For the whole day and into the evening venues across the City open up to the people of Portsmouth, giving them the opportunity to enjoy tours, workshops, exhibitions and performances. Most of the events are family-friendly and they are all free!

This is the 4th year of the Lost Hour and this year the theme is “Literature�. We commemorate two of the famous literary sons of Portsmouth – Conan Doyle and, of course, Charles Dickens – but also the wealth of current writing talent in the City. Portsmouth’s Poet Laureate, Sam Cox, young writers from the Writers’ Squad and members of Portsmouth Writers’ Hub will all have their work celebrated.

For more information about the programme contact The New Theatre Royal on 023 9264 9000 www.newtheatreroyal.com or www.visitportsmouth.co.uk.

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62 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

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D-Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade, PO5 3NT Be a code breaker – a quiz sheet for families. Admission charges apply at the D-Day Museum.

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FAMILY HISTORY

SATURDAY 24 MARCH

The Lodge Arts Centre, Victoria Park, Anglesea Road, PO1 3HJ A video by Sophia Ferdani.

Portsmouth Faculty of Creative and Cultural Industries.

Portsmouth History Centre, Norrish Central Library, Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX A display of source material about family and home history.

BNl QN KNIT POMPEY 20 eleven @ art stop cafĂŠ Eastney Community Centre Bransbury Park, PO4 9SU An exhibition showcasing the work of 2 local groups.

Yarn bombing, yarn storming, guerrilla knitting, graffiti knitting.

BNl QN ,/*55*/( 803,4)01 20 eleven @ art stop cafÊ, Eastney Community Centre, Bransbury Park, PO4 9SU Knitting isn’t just for grannies!

Beginners – learn to knit with a guerrilla knitter. Knit a sheep! Knit a gorilla! Or knit for knitting’s sake.Bring your own knitting needles – wool and yarn provided.

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TIMES SQUARED The New Theatre Royal Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD An exhibition of mixed media artwork inspired by Synthetic Cubism on the theme of time created by Year 7 students from Portsmouth Grammar School.

Ä? BN .*/* .",&34 Aspex Gallery, Vulcan Building, Gunwharf Quays, PO1 3BS Modelling and Moulding for toddlers and children aged up to 8 years old and their parents. A one-hour workshop making 3D cra$s inspired by favourite children’s books.

Book in advance 023 9277 8080

BN #&)*/% 5)& 4$&/&4 The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD A tour of this beautiful Victorian Theatre, discover the past of the building and learn about the future.

Book in advance on 023 9264 9000

DINOSAUR EGG HUNT Cumberland House Museum, Eastern Parade, Southsea, PO4 9RF Welcome to “The Lost World� of Portsmouth! Start your search here. Inspired by the Conan Doyle novel,you can also follow the expedition on www.portsmouth museums.co.uk.

IDEAL FOR FAMILIES To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

THE LOST HOUR

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Portsmouth History Centre Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX

Portsmouth History Centre Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX How the Portsmouth History Centre can help you discover the story of your house.

Book in advance on 023 9268 8046 or visit portsmouthhistorycentre @portsmouthcc.gov.uk

Meet at Room 237, 76 Elm Grove, PO5 1LN Portshhhhmouth comes courtesy of aspex gallery’s Futurators, a group of young curators aged 11–19. An MP3 with instructions of how to participate will soon be available to download from www.aspex.org.uk.

(Don’t worry if you don’t have an MP3 player – The Futurators will have some spare CD players on the day!)

BNl QN 453&&5 %"/$& 803,4)01 Charles Dickens Centre, Lake Road, PO1 4DY Have fun and learn the latest moves with Southzone’s Carrie-Anne Sait. Great for boys and girls.

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OPPO #&)*/% 5)& 4$&/&4 The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD A tour of this beautiful Victorian Theatre, discover the past of the building and learn about the future.

Book in advance on 023 9264 9000

OPPO 5)& /00/ %": $"//0/ The Waterfront, Gunwharf Quays, PO1 3TZ Firing the noon day cannon signals the beginning of the hunt to find out what happened to diver “Buster� Crabb – lost without trace in 1956. Expect Theatre, Lights , Action !

OPPOl QN %:4"35*$6-"5& ** FIELD OF FLAGS Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX Create flags recycled from the pages of old, discarded books – be part of the 1,000,000 flags to be made with artist Jon Adams.

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Tour of Portsmouth History Centre.

Book in advance on 023 9268 8046 or visit portsmouthhistorycentre @portsmouthcc.gov.uk

QN 4&"3$)*/( '03 LOST HOURS Portsmouth History Centre Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX Tour of Portsmouth History Centre.

Book in advance on 023 9268 8046 or visit portsmouthhistorycentre @portsmouthcc.gov.uk

QN 5"-, 3&4&"3$)*/( FAMILY HISTORY Portsmouth History Centre Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX How the Portsmouth History Centre can help you discover your family’s past history.

Book in advance on 023 9268 8046 or visit portsmouthhistorycentre @portsmouthcc.gov.uk

QNl QN '"#-&4 '"*3:5"-&4 '"/5"4*&4 Aspex Gallery, Vulcan Building Gunwharf Quays, PO1 3BS Children of all ages can get involved in artist-led activities inspired by characters in favourite children’s books.

Book in advance 023 9277 8080

QN TELLING TALES The Children’s Library, Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX A drama workshop for children aged 6–10 based on your favourite children’s stories.

Book in advance on 023 9264 9000

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

QNl QN $)"3-&450/ 803,4)01 Eastney Community Centre, Bransbury Park, PO4 9SU It’s fast , it’s furious and it’s fun! Learn to shimmy with Sheena Hall.

'03 "(&4

QNl QN THE LOST SHIP The Round Tower, Broad Street Old Portsmouth, PO1 2JE A site specific installation by artist Johanna Katerinas inspired by an event in Portsmouth’s nautical history.

Touching memory, loss, futility and hope. University of Portsmouth Faculty of Creative and Cultural Industries.

QN R&J The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD The story of Romeo and Juliet set in the modern day, consisting of 3 acts with a fusion of Contemporary, Street and Break Dance with a dash of Physical Theatre.

Performed by the JSD KRU and The ROLEPLAYIN MONKEES. Choreographed by Jo Williams and assistant break choreography Charlee Bangs.

QN THE HOUR

'03 "(&4

The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD Be guided round the theatre by the ghosts of past, present and future. Join Jo in search of the missing hour. Something terrible happened, and Jo just can’t remember what. Whatever it was the evidence points to something bad. Haunted by the past, and threatened by the future, Jo struggles to find the answer hidden somewhere in the confusion.

A performance by The New Theatre Royal Youth Theatre.

Book in advance on 023 9264 9000

QN

QN

4&"3$)*/( '03 LOST HOURS

A BALLAD OF CHARLES DICKENS

Portsmouth History Centre Norrish Central Library Guildhall Square, PO1 2DX Tour of Portsmouth History Centre.

Book in advance on 023 9268 8046 or visit portsmouthhistorycentre @portsmouthcc.gov.uk

City Museum, Museum Road, PO1 2LJ A fun musical whistle-stop tour of Dickens’ novels written by Stuart Olesker and John Stanton.

Not essential to book, but numbers are limited so please ring 023 9282 7261

QN FROM PAGE TO STAGE The Square Tower, Broad Street, PO1 2JE A scriptwriting workshop with Bernie Byrnes, artistic director of Kipper Tie Theatre Company. Work on scenes from Dickens’ s novels, bringing those great characters to life.

Book in advance on 023 9264 9000

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

63

WHAT’S GOING ON‌

QN R&J The Square Tower, Broad Street, PO1 2JE. The story of Romeo and Juliet set in modern times, consisting of 3 acts with a fusion of Contemporary, Street and Break Dance with a dash of Physical Theatre.

Performed by the JSD KRU and The ROLEPLAYIN MONKEES. Choreographed by Jo Williams and assistant break choreography Charlee Bangs.

QN THE LOST WORLD D Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade, PO5 3NT A special screening of the 1925 silent movie. This was the first ever film adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic book about a land where prehistoric beasts still roam.

Directed by Harry O.Hoyt the film stars Wallace Beery as Prof Challenger and features the pioneering stop-motion special effects of Willis O’Brien of King Kong fame.

100mins (U certificate).

QN THE LOST WORLD D Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade, PO5 3NT Full colour version of the above made in 1960, directed by Irwin Allen. Claude Rains plays Prof Challenger who puts together an expedition to venture into a remote plateau in the depths of the Amazon, where they are le$ fighting for their lives as they seek to find a way home.

97 mins (12 certificate).

Presented by Portsmouth Film Society www.portsmouth filmsociety.org.uk Please book places in advance by emailing info@portsmouth filmsociety.org.uk

64 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

QN

QN

QN

THE HOUR

THE LOST WORLD

WEIRD AS WONDERLAND

The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD

D Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade, PO5 3NT The full colour film version made in 1960, directed by Irwin Allen. Claude Rains plays Prof Challenger who puts together an expedition to venture into a remote plateau in the depths of the Amazon, where they are le$ fighting for their lives as they seek to find a way home .

97 mins (12 certificate) Presented by Portsmouth Film Society www.portsmouth filmsociety.org.uk

The Square Tower, Broad Street, PO1 2JE

Guided round the theatre by the ghosts of past, present and future, join Jo in search of the missing hour. Something terrible happened, and Jo just can’t remember what.

Whatever it was the evidence points to something bad.

Haunted by the past, and threatened by the future, Jo struggles to find the answer hidden somewhere in the confusion. A performance

by The New Theatre Royal Youth Theatre.

Book in advance on 023 9264 9000

QN THE SIGNAL MAN The Square Tower, Broad Street, PO1 2JE A performance by The Alternative Performance Society from Bournemouth University of Dickens famous ghost story.

Ä? QN 41&$*"- &7&/*/( OPENING Charles Dickens Birthplace, 393 Old Commercial Rd, PO1 4QL Sample the atmosphere of this regency house. Museum guides will show a range of artefacts from life at the time and you might meet a mysterious inhabitant!

QN TIME AND RHYTHM The Square Tower, Broad Street, PO1 2JE A performance of original poetry and percussion with Sam Cox, the Portsmouth Poet Laureate.

QN THE SIGNAL MAN The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD A performance by The Alternative Performance Society from Bournemouth University of Dickens famous ghost story.

Please book places in advance by emailing info@portsmouth filmsociety.org.uk

QN

The Respect Programme invites you to experience a unique performance, twisting the original Lewis Carroll tale of Alice in Wonderland.

You will be part of a mobile audience visiting Alice’s Rehab.

The performance is free, but you must book in advance.

Call Richie Maclaren 079447 22881 or Holly Saunders 079302 56750 for further information.

PSEF Respect Programme is a social inclusion project for young people in the South East area of Portsmouth.

'03 "(&4

R&J The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD The story of Romeo and Juliet set in modern times, consisting of 3 acts with a fusion of Contemporary, Street and Break Dance with a dash of Physical Theatre.

Performed by the JSD KRU and The ROLEPLAYIN MONKEES. Choreographed by Jo Williams and assistant break choreography Charlee Bangs

QN #63-&426& 803,4)01 The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD Amici welcomes back Veronique Devine and her Vixens to the NTR stage.

Alongside the basic ingredients of tease the workshop will explore chair based moves to bring out your inner goddess!

Please book in advance on 07515 630711 amicidance@hotmail.co.uk

80.&/ 07&3

QN ALOOF The New Theatre Royal, Guildhall Walk, PO1 2DD Inspired by Bob Fosse and Aristophanes ‘Lysistrata’, Amy Ireland has Choreographed ‘Aloof’ for Amici and The Lost Hour. Welcoming ex-dancers, teachers and artists to this choreography the piece enjoys the stylised simplicity of Fosse with the sensual tease of Burlesque. The perfect finale to the Burlesque workshop.

'03 "(&4

QN WEIRD AS WONDERLAND The Square Tower, Broad Street, PO1 2JE The Respect Programme invites you to experience a unique performance, twisting the original Lewis Carroll tale of Alice in Wonderland. You will be part of a mobile audience visiting Alice’s Rehab. The performance is free, but you must book in advance.

Call Richie Maclaren 079447 22881 or Holly Saunders 079302 56750 for further information.

PSEF Respect Programme is a social inclusion project for young people in the South East area of Portsmouth.

'03 "(&4

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

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MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

65

ONE TO ONE WITH…

e i l r a Ch n o s p m Si INTE RVIE W BY JEN NIFE

R LE ROU X

musician who Charlie Simpson is a ainstream, appeared in the pop m le life with but led a ‘secret’ doub ck for his true passion for ro ! takes many years. Mayhem how it felt some time to find out d’ out… when he finally ‘Buste

66 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

ONE TO ONE WITH… So you escaped to your

2009 seemed to be a

true rock routes with

turning point for you

Fightstar, what was a

when you began working

high point for the band?

on your solo projects

I think one highlight was being asked to play on the main stages at the Reading and Leeds festivals. I used to go to those festivals all the time growing up, so it was amazing to get the chance to play them. It was also incredible to record with a 24-piece orchestra at the legendary Air Studio’s when making the last Fightstar album.

with the eventual

What is it about Rock music that inspires you? Do you have a rebellious side?

It was always the music that inspired me rather than the sentiment.

I don’t think I was particularly rebellious growing up, I just loved the musicality of heavy sounding guitars and pounding drums. It’s something that I was just drawn to.

Before you were in the public eye, who was Charlie Simpson?

Describe a typical weekend for you then?

Me and my friends would often get together on weekends and go down to the cellar at our school to play music together. We tried to organise a gig every few weeks, so all we ever really wanted to do was band practice. I also used to love going to the cinema at weekends, which is something I still love to do now.

What inspired the compilation album of unsigned bands, The Suffolk Explosion?

There was a really good music scene around the area of Suffolk that I grew up in and everyone seemed to know each other through mutual friends.

So I decided to put an album together that showcased some of those bands and artists. It was a really fun project to do and so I would love to put together a Suffolk Explosions 2 album at some point.

hiatus from Fightstar in 2010. Why was this

Though I made Young Pilgrim as a solo artist, when I play live I have a five piece band behind me, so it still feels very much like a band when I’m on the road. It doesn’t actually feel that different to what I’m used to.

decision made and did

Having worked on your

your ambition for a solo

solo career for so long

career affect this?

will it be strange going

It seemed like a very natural time for Fightstar to have a hiatus because we were all feeling pretty burnt out from the relentless touring cycle and four back-to-back records, so we felt like we needed a break. I had always had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to make a solo record, so it felt like the right time to do it.

back to Fightstar?

tell us about your

It’s too early to tell when Fightstar will start writing again...the other boys have musical projects they are pursuing and I still feel as though I have more to write as a solo artist, so I think we are going to take our time with it.

new solo album, ‘ Young Pilgrim’. How did you select the songs for the album? Is there any meaning or message behind them individually or collectively?

I wrote about 20 songs for the album, so there was a decent number of songs to choose from. I made sure I gave myself a month or so to live with the songs after writing them, so I could really get to know them.

It was clear by that time what tracks should go on the record and which one’s shouldn’t.

Have there been any memorable high or low points of your solo tour?

No it won’t feel strange, I see Fightstar and my solo career as both integral parts of my musical personality.

When Fightstar announced the break we were promised a return in 2012 , so what is on the horizon?

Do you keep your personal life quiet?

Do you ever get a chance to have downtime?

I very much like to keep my personal life separate to my music life, I just think it’s best that way. I think it’s very important to have time away from your career to spend quality time with your loved ones.

Is there anything else you would like to tell

The first show I did as a solo artist was a gig I will always remember.

It was at the Tabernacle in London, which is one of my favourite venues.

All of my friends and family came to watch which was amazing. I was so nervous before going on, but as soon as I got on stage I had one of the most enjoyable gigs I have ever played.

Mayhem! readers?

How does being on tour

playing will be Charlie tr e n e C s mid ! the Pyra pril 2012 A d n 2 e on th

as a solo artist feel having always been with a band in the past?

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

I’m currently in the middle of writing the film score for an independent British film that should be finished in the next few months, which I’m really excited about...so watch this space! Also I’ll be coming down to Portsmouth in April to play a show, so if you are coming down to that, I’ll see you there!

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

67

TIME FOR A WELL DESERVED FEET UP SUNDAY!

WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

her celebrated Mother’s Day is eit consumerist or disregarded as ms, old mums, mu ng hogwash. You working nworking mums, no year the of s day 364 mums, from ng eri mm ha a Mums take uld they deny society. So why sho deserved lie themselves a wellm! has yhe Ma r? yea in once a e Mother’s out where the whol and m fro e cam Day thing t… what it’s all abou

AMERICA V. ENGLAND Mother’s Day is a day where Mothers are celebrated for being just that; Mothers. The American term which originally derives from the ‘Mothers Day Proclamation’ was written by the pacifist, Julia Howe. She was strongly anti-war, and took it upon herself to call for all ‘Mothers’ to rise against the patriarchal constraints and make a political difference!

The English ‘Mothering Sunday’ is a traditional religious celebration of our Virgin Mary. Falling on the fourth day of Lent, 19th Century domestic servants and footmen were allowed a holiday on Mothering Sunday to attend the local church service.

68 MAYHEM! | MARCH 2012

FOOD FOR THOUGHT Simnel cake was and still is a traditional cake made by children to give to their mothers during the Sunday church service. Traditionally toasted and covered with marzipan, so why not take a culinary journey back to the good old days and bake a Simnel cake for your mum.

MAYHEM! FACT ‘Clipping the Church’ is a religious ceremony held by devout Christians.

Children of the church would come out on ‘Mothering Sunday’, stand in a circle, hold hands and make a human circle around the church. Their families would cheer, sing hymns and dance the night away.

GIFTS The traditional gift on Mother’s Day is flowers, but some lucky mums receive more extravagant gifts like spa days or theatre tickets. An unlucky few won’t even get a card according to a recent survey, in fact 46% of children are more likely to send their mother’s a Facebook message, text or not bother at all!

There really is no excuse though – the big card companies benefit enormously through people being unable to express their emotions verbally. The card trade is worth an approximate £1.2 billion and now with the likes of e-cards, MoonPig and FunkyPigeon, it couldn’t be easier.

To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

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GOING DOWN UNDER…

INTERVIEW BY FELICITY PATRICK IMAGE BY STEVE ULLATHORNE

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To advertise in Mayhem! Magazine call us on: 023 9229 4408

GOING DOWN UNDER…

NDJ 8JGG:CIAN A>K: >C 6JHIG6A>6 L>I= NDJG ;6B>AN! 7JI NDJ L:G: 7DGC >C I=: J@ 6C9 <G:L JE >C CDGI=:GC >G:A6C9# =DL =6H I=>H >C;AJ:C8:9 NDJG 86G::G4 Born in England, bred in Ireland and buttered in Australia. I’m not big on nationality as a direct result, but never have been. I never find people who are that funny or compassionate.

It’s a humorless thing nationality.

HD L=:C 6C9 L=N 9>9 NDJ BDK: ID 6JH½4 I moved out in 1988 when I was 22.

I came out as a backpacker initially but then really liked the place and decided to stay.

L:G: NDJ LDG@>C< >C 8DB:9N 7:;DG: NDJ BDK:94 No, I actually started working in comedy while in Oz. I haven’t done much in the UK comedy wise, but intend to in the future.

=DL 9D:H I=: 8DB:9N H8:C: >C I=: DJI768@ 8DBE6G: ID DJGH =:G: >C I=: J@4 9D I=: H6B: ?D@:H LDG@ L=:G::K:G NDJ 6G: >C I=: LDGA94 The same jokes work everywhere.

Mine do especially as I don’t talk about politics or things on TV or those other things that aren’t really funny. Monday is a hard night to get laughs out of people.

I:AA JH 6 A>IIA: BDG: 67DJI 778 9DLC JC9:G½ It was a BBC series following me while on tour across northern Australia, from Broome on the west coast of Australia to Byron Bay which is half way down the east coast. I’m really proud of it but not sure if I would do it again. It was so much work, but then again TV always is.

B6CN NDJC< 8DB>8H 8=DDH: HI6C9"JE 6H 6 86G::G 6H DEEDH:9 ID HIJB7A>C< >CID >I A>@: B6CN DI=:GH# 9>9 NDJ 6AL6NH L6CI ID <:I >CID 8DB:9N4 L=6I L:G: I=: DEI>DCH4 I didn’t want to work at all really. I’d worked on building sites for quite a few years and found it tough. Stand up happened by default and I didn’t take it seriously which I think really helped. I wanted to be an actor or to be in a band, anything but work!

=6K>C< 7::C >C I=: 7JH>C:HH ;DG '% N:6GH! L=6I 9D NDJ I=>C@ D; I=: C:L :B:G<>C< I6A:CI½ >H I=:G: 6CNDC: NDJ I=>C@ L: H=DJA9 ADD@ DJI ;DG4 Yes me. Look out for me. The rest are really average. In fact I’m the only good one out there.

H:I I=: H8:C: ;DG JH/ NDJÉG: 768@ HI6<: <:II>C< G:69N ;DG 6 H=DL½ I’m surrounded by a line of chorus girls telling me how fantastic I am.

The champagne is in the ice bucket and the spa is filling, it should be ready for the end of the show.

L=6I 86C L: :ME:8I ;GDB NDJG C:L IDJG ÈADK:ANÉ 6C9 =DL 9D:H I=>H 9>;;:G ;GDB EG:K>DJH IDJGH4 My tours just keep getting better.

It’s like the last tour. Just funnier.

=DL L>AA NDJ B6@: NDJG IDJG ÈADK:ANÉ4 Magic dust.

NDJÉK: 688DBE>H=:9 HDB: 6B6O>C< I=>C<H HD ;6G! L=6I LDJA9 NDJ H6N >H I=: =><=A><=I D; NDJG 86G::G ID 96I:4 This interview has got to be up there.

I really enjoy any gig where I feel like I’m really being myself. Big TV gigs don’t really impress me, or rather don’t make me laugh. I think comedy works best when it’s live. Get out and see some stand up live. It’s a great night out.

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I:AA JH 67DJI I=DH: :N:7GDLH D; NDJGH½>IÉH I’d like to work in lots of different 6 7G>AA>6CI E6GI D; NDJG areas but I think the trick is for it H@:I8=# L:G: NDJ 6AL6NH to be fun whatever.

HD 6L6G: D; NDJG :N:7GDLH4 L=6I L6H I=: :JG:@6 ;>C6AAN! L=6I >H DC: I=>C< BDB:CI ;DG I=6I I=6I NDJ LDJA9 HI>AA E6GI>8JA6G ?D@:4 A>@: ID 68=>:K:4 Someone shouted “fire” at me on stage once and I said “that’s always said with eyebrows up”. I think it developed from there. Or maybe not. I’m thinking right now with my eyebrows down.

A lot of money doing something I love. Stand up.

8=:8@DJI LLL#?>B:D>C#8DB ;DG ;JGI=:G >C;DGB6I>DC#

86I8= ?>B:D>C DC =>H ÈADK:ANÉ IDJG >C <J>A9;DG9 DC I=: &-I= B6N '%&'½ NDJ LDCÉI 7: 9>H6EED>CI:9# Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

MARCH 2012 | MAYHEM!

71

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