Mayhem! Magazine - Issue 7 (May 2012)

PORTSMOUTH’S #1 FREE

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

ISSUE 7

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Simon Amstell …a one to one with

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Utah Saints …mixing it up!

Hairy Bikers

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SEPTEMBERMAY 2011 2012 | SHOTGUN | MAYHEM! CELEBS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FASHION | HUMOUR

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Behind the scenes the award-winning Secret Productions team (Promoter of the Year in the 2011 Festival Awards) will be taking care of the production and bringing that extra-special SGP twist to proceedings with burning stages, 3D sound systems, underfloor bass arenas, Woodland parties, 24-hour venue license, Glastonbury’s Rabbit Hole and much more. With an incredible site and a stellar lineup, consisting of hundreds of DJs and live acts from around the globe, Glade 2012 is set to become the must-go-to festival for all lovers of underground electronic music.

WWW.GLADEFESTIVAL.COM As anyone who attended in 2011 will agree, this unique venue (which has not been used for any other music festival) is without a doubt the perfect new home for Glade.

With a world-class line up of the most exciting names in electronic music from Sven Vath, Andy C and Rusko right through to Stephan Bodzin, Toddla T and Don Letts to name a few, Glade 2012 is back to show every other UK dance festival how it’s done.

Simply email us with the word ‘GLADE’ to WIN 2 tickets to Glade Festival.

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MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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WORD FROM THE TOP!

Founder/Director Daniel Tidbury Editor Mia Habens Assistant Editor Tory Nairn Studio Manager Felicity Patrick Graphic Design Tidbury Design Staff Writers Mia Habens Edward Couzens-Lake Tory Nairn Contributing Writers Ben Jones Tori Harris Nick Bush Tory Nairn Chris Morley Kelly Wickham Anabela Gavrilova Sarah Elena Schwerzmann Jennifer Le Roux Amyrose Dempsey Nightlife Paparazzi Mick Wythe Matt Byne Promotions Felicity Patrick Daniel Tidbury Jennifer Le Roux Sales/Marketing Simone Sarsfield Jennifer Le Roux Maisie Ferne-Evans Distribution Jamie Pay Jamie Matthews Publisher Tidbury Media 023 9229 4408 hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk The Clock Tower, 44 Castle Rd, PO5 3DE www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk Mayhem! is a free lifestyle magazine dedicated to entertaining the people of Portsmouth. Keep up to date with the latest trends, fashions and interviews with our monthly instalments available to pick up from the countless distribution points scattered across the city and surrounding areas at the beginning of each month. © Copyright 2012.

All rights reserved, Tidbury Media .

EDITOR’S

LETTER

May the force be with you…get it?

With the sun starting to peep through the April shower clouds, Mayhem! is celebrating the countdown to summer! We’re cracking on with some outdoor activities in May with all the latest from the FA Cup, the Test Cricket scene and glamming it up for the Chelsea Flower Show.

We’re making sweet music with Nicki Minaj and catching up with the new band on the block Lawson – and we’ve even had time to catch up with the likes of Simon Amstel and the Hairy Bikers! aMAYzing I know!

And for all you film and television fans, The Don investigates the eagerly anticipated Eurovision Song Contest – for an ear-splitting excuse for a boozy get-together. Plus we’ve rounded up all the newest summer blockbusters, just in case you need to get out of the sweltering English heat!

To celebrate BBQ week this May, we’re throwing another shrimp on the barbie and spicing up the humble burger – how do you eat yours? To wash it down, we’ve experimented with the best summer drink mixers and give our top tips on throwing the best spring garden party.

So, however you’re planning on milking the summer sunshine (it’s coming, I promise!), make sure you do it with Mayhem!

Hope you Enjoy!

Mia Habens @MAYHEMMAG

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| Editor

THE MAYHEM MAGAZINE MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

5

COVER PHOTO BY RICHARD GRASSIE

WHAT’S INSIDE

GREAT SAVINGS ACROSS THE CITY LOOK OUT FOR YOUR MATES WITH OUR MAYHEM! MOMENTS...

ON PAGES 76-81

12 Willow and leather 14 Spring trends 16 One to one with…

Simon Amstell 18 Portsmouth’s naked bike ride 20 Spam Musubi 26 What’s on your burger?

30 On the rocks 32 How to shop smartly…

page 16

6

MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

34 Fancy the high jump?

36 May day… a bit of history 38 Catch up with… the Hairy Bikers 46 Vinyl revival 48 Getting down with…

Nicki Minaj 52 Murder on the dance floor 54 Sandwich week – Top 10 fillers

pa g e 38

page 48

56 Mixing it p with…

Utah Saints 58 Festivals on a budget 60 The Don investigates…

Eurovision 2012 62 Sweet FA 64 Waterstone’s Top 5 66 Pirates Ahoy!

68 A chat with… Lawson 74 Summer blockbusters

pa g e 5 6

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KEEP UP TO DATE!

What

YOU are saying:

xtra

@TheLittleTravis “I feel poop. But seeing this [Mayhem!] in the Dr’s surgery cheered me up! ”

Here’s what you’ve been tweeting, facebooking and chatting to us about online. Keep them coming and we’ll print the best comments!

Mayhem! Ten Ticket giveaway…

This month you can win a ticket to see The Horrors at The Pyramids Centre on 22 May! Just be one of the first 10 to:

@ithrewupabag “Totally loving @ mayhemmag!” @lovesouthsea “Just got my new copy of @mayhemmag this month! Love love love…”

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For a free Portsmouthbased magazine it’s surprisingly well-written and professionally designed.”

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There are loads of ways to join the lively Mayhem! network.

Let us know what you’re thinking.

Email us: hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk Find us on Facebook at: /themayhemmagazine Follow and Tweet us: @mayhemmag Write to us: The Clock Tower, Southsea, Hampshire PO5 3DE

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In honour of National Sandwich Week this month, we asked our Facebook fans to share their favourite sandwich fillings!

Here is what some of them had to say: Hannah Treagus: Bacon, brie and cranberry sauce.

OR manchego cheese, serrano ham and garlic mayo :D Myke Glitch: …or just bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon and a dash of brown sauce.

Katherine Arnott: Bacon brie and cranberry and avacadoooo…

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

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STICKY WICKET!

Hark, the English summer! Rain, music festivals, over-optimistic promises of barbecues‌ and cricket.

WILLOW &

LEATHER W RITTEN BY BEN JONES

12 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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STICKY WICKET!

The writer Bill Bryson once said of this most British of sports: “It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavours look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect.”

possible, accumulating runs in the process.

Any batsman who can score 100 in one innings is celebrated, 200 or more is lauded to the heavens, while anything over 300 is, frankly, nothing short of remarkable.

To a large section of the British sporting public, Bryson’s comment represents little short of heresy. This summer will once again see the English cricket team in action, as they take on the West Indies and South Africa in successive Test series.

The record for a single innings score by a batsman is currently held by Brian Lara, of the West Indies, who scored 400 against England at St John’s, Antigua, in 2003. Funnily enough, ten years earlier, it was Lara who had broken compatriot Gary Sobers’s long-standing record, with 375 on the same ground against the same opposition.

To whet the appetite, it is worth explaining why a sport which can take five days, but could be all over in three, (with no guarantee of a winner at the end of it) can so compel the viewer.

Cricket – or at least the Test match version of it – sees each team have two attempts at batting (or an ‘innings’, as it’s known) and two attempts at bowling. Which team bats or bowls first is decided by the toss of a coin at the beginning of the game.

Cricket is thought to be a deeply complex sport, but the overall goal is easy to understand: the team with the highest aggregate score of runs over the two innings wins. Piece of cake.

Of course, it’s not quite as simple as that.

It is the aim of the fielding side to bowl out the batting team for as low a score as possible.

Factors which may help them in their quest include the overhead conditions, the pitch and perhaps most importantly, their bowling attack, whose goal it is to get the batsmen out.

A good bowler is worth his weight in gold to a cricket team. Fast bowlers, who are able to hurl a ball down a 22-yeard strip of mowed grass at speeds of up to 100 mph can strike the fear of God into a batsman. Australian speedster Jeff Thompson once said that he enjoyed nothing more than the sound of a ball hitting a batsman’s skull, and any man who can face down a fast bowler is a brave one indeed.

They are supplemented by spinners, who bowl much more slowly but can turn the ball viciously past a bat, both ways in some cases.

The batsman’s goal is to stay at the crease – the mark at each end of the strip – for as long as

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Sadly, Lara retired a few years ago, so the West Indies team which will visit these shores this summer will not include him. While the Caribbean team were kings of the game in the 80s, when England frequently struggled against them, the wheel has now turned full circle: England, for so long the doyens of the batting collapse, are actually the number one Test team in the world.

For them, a sterner test comes later in the summer, when South Africa arrive with their formidable battery of fast bowlers. Australia – the auld enemy – are also in town, but they are strictly here for the one-day stuff: 50-overs-aside matches and Twenty20 games. Twenty20 is to Test cricket what McDonald’s is to Claridge’s: quicker, somehow frowned upon and yet, able to fill a satisfying hole when the need arises.

If anything, Twenty20 has threatened to eclipse Test cricket in recent years. As the name suggests, each team gets 20 overs in which to bat (an over is made up of six balls) and the highest score at the end wins.

The game has caught the imagination of the public because of its fast pace and big hits.

Test cricket, by contrast, can contain long attritional periods before bursting into life.

In the age of instant gratification, Twenty20 has become the darling of the public.

The county season is already under way, but the international season starts on May 17 with the first Test against West Indies at Lord’s, considered to be the home of cricket. We trust Bill Bryson won’t be there…

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

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SPLASH OUT THIS SPRING!

With the warm sunny days already in full swing, it ’s time to start freshening up your makeup bag. Peel back the layers and dark bright lips. Big trends for this summer include mat te lipsticks, pastel colours, thick eyebrows, a lot of bronzer and blue eye shadow! Yes it ’s makeup trends recycle themselves and this year

SPRING WRITTEN BY TORI HARRIS

TRENDS Bright pops of colour make for an eye-catching statement. Why not try a flawless face and bright matt orange lips. MAC lipstick in So Chaud (£13.50) is a perfect matt orange for this look. Apply a thin foundation or tinted moisturiser and then use a highlighter such as Benefit High Beam on the apples of your cheeks and above and below the brow, this helps to give that dewy look. Leave eyes bare and accentuate with a brush of mascara for effortless beauty.

If you fancy something a little more daring, why not try blue eye shadow?

This is one trend that must be done well to avoid looking dated! On the catwalks, popular trends were bright bold blocks of blue eye shadow or applied like a colour wash across the eye. However, this trend can also be worn in more subtle pastel tones.

Rimmel’s Glam Eye’s Quad in Smokey Blue (£6.99) is perfect – use the lightest shade to highlight the eye and shade in the socket with the darker colours.

14 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

PHOTOGRAPHER: VANESSA MILLS MODEL: GEMITA SAMARRA STYLIST: AMY TOMLINSON MUA: TORI HARRIS

If you want to experiment with the pastel trend but aren’t so keen on blue, try the Rimmel Quad in Summer Bloom (£6.99) apply lightly for soft colours on build for a more intense shade.

For a bronzed beauty look try the Bourjois Delice De Poudre Bronzing Powder (£6.99) – it contains flecks of gold that act as a highlighter for a perfect bronzing glow. If you want a natural look, use a little brown or golden eye shadow in the crease of your eye socket to define your eyes – highlight cheeks, brows and your cupid’s bow and finish with a natural lip-gloss. Why not try wearing your hair in a loose plait or soft waves for

that ‘I really did just get up looking this good!’ effect! For a more catwalk effect use a golden brown eye shadow over the lid and up to the eyebrow without meeting the brow, shade under the eye and then add a little liner to the top lash line getting the brush into the lashes and dragging it out slightly – you are not trying to create a line but define the eye shape. Wear your hair in a high pony – wrapping a small section around the band to hide it for a full catwalk effect.

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16 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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ONE TO ONE WITH…

who was ‘cruel for the He was once accused of being a bitter public school boy Buzzcocks. Frankly, wasn’t sake of it ’ to his celebrity guests on Never Mind The tart , who got his leg up Simon Amstell just doing his job? The irreverent ‘ups ’ taken a wide berth from the fronting kitschy Channel 4 series Popworld, had always ts like Anthony Costa, John fawning chat show contemporaries, giving ‘starry’ gues

Famously, the Ordinary Boys frontman got so ticked off when Amstell starting ripping the Michael out of the singer’s then wife Chantelle Houghton, Preston marched off set and declared war on the curly topped show host. And in a three series stint on Buzzcocks, Simon continued to make a string of revenge declaring enemies.

Did he quit the show simply because they couldn’t secure any more celebrity guests? “Eh, no”, he laughs, “that surprisingly wasn’t the case. I was just fed up and bored. It was the same over and over, guests knew the format.

They’d come on the show, I’d be rude to them, they’d get all huffy, the end.”

“The issue was it had stopped being surprising. They’d come on to plug whatever single or fragrance or lipstick they were hocking, and I’d stick it to them. After a while they were expecting it. Or completely reluctant to come on the show at all. It was just boring for me.”

Responsible for Marilyn Manson’s one man boycott against all British TV interviews after innocently quizzing the rocker over his fondness for nudity, Amstell left behind the celebrity chit chat to focus on his acting, writing and stand-up comedy career, a move that is proving rather successful.

His self-scribed sitcom, Grandma’s House, provided a true to form,

quirky Yiddish yarn loosely based on his own family experiences, and will soon start its second season run after a successful debut on BBC Two. In addition, he’s just about to go on the road with his latest stand-up show, Numb. A bit of an odd name for a live comedy act? “The theme seemed to be disconnection and detachment and the inability to feel things fully.

It’s about not being able to feel things in the moment and being incapable of expressing yourself emotionally, and the fact that that leads to disconnectedness and depression.

And it’s very funny, even if I do say so myself,” he smiles, “and I really do love doing stand-up. It’s the most amazing feeling when it’s going well, you’re flying. This ‘thing’ is happening beyond your control. Something is powering you, something that isn’t you.”

“Things are going relatively well since leaving Buzzcocks.

I’ve had the stand-up shows, and the success of Grandma’s House was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else.”

A lifelong devotee to all things telly, Amstell made his first TV appearance was as a contestant on game show GamesMaster and, at 18, he was presenting on children’s TV station Nickelodeon. “Which they sacked me from,” he laughs. “They said I was mean and sarcastic to the children…

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which, to be fair, was true. I really tried to be nice to them but somehow, it didn’t come naturally to me.”

It was Popworld, alongside co-host Miquita Oliver that placed Simon on the map. During his time, he was responsible for driving Britney Spears to tears off screen after asking her if she’d ‘gone a bit nuts’.

So between that, Manson and Preston, any remnants of guilt? “I never felt guilty about anyone. It was funny at the time, got a few laughs, job done. I must say though, I did feel a little bad after an appearance on BBC Breakfast a few years ago when I cracked a distasteful gag towards Russell Watson. But I was nervous and just blurted it out, and he’s a lovely bloke. I hope he forgives me.”

Does he seek similar forgiveness from Preston? “Hell no,” he replies.

“Preston was fair game, and got publicity out of that situation so it was win/win for him, and he even admitted he went overboard with his reaction. It was Never Mind The Buzzcocks, not Parkinson, and he should have been glad to have been asked to appear on the show.”

Has Amstell ever bumped into him since? “I haven’t had the pleasure but I can imagine he’s over it now.

It’s years ago, people get over these things. It’s not really something that keeps me awake at night.”

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

17

A GOOD CRACK!

WRITTEN BY NICK BUSH

e Check out th d World Nakebsite e Bike Ride wre for mo : informatione.org bikerid worldnaked

HOW

WHAT On Saturday the 26th of May, the World Naked Bike Ride will once again be held in our fair city. For those readers not familiar with the event, the World Naked Bike Ride asks activists from around the world to, in their words, ‘put a stop to the indecent exposure of people and the planet to cars and the pollution they create’, showing support by cycling through participating cities in the buff. In other words this is not an event for Jeremy Clarkson, or those who dislike saddle chafing.

18 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

If you want to show your support this year, the event will begin at 2.00pm in front of the Rose Gardens between Canoe Lake and Eastney, though you are asked to be there for 1.00pm, to ensure the event starts on time. The route is 5 to 6 miles, and as Portsmouth isn’t famed for particularly mountainous terrain, it should be fairly easy going. The route is pleasant enough, taking you past Clarence Pier, through Old Portsmouth, up Commercial Road, back towards Osborne Road and finally back to the starting point.

Dress code is ‘’Bare As You Dare’’, if you aren’t feeling particularly confident, or, like me, want to ensure people don’t feel too jealous, full nudity isn’t necessary. Underwear, body-paint, or even a conveniently placed sock are all acceptable: your willingness to protest against over-pollution is the only requirement.

BUTT… It’s fair to say that this is a divisive event in our community, the last event that was held here in Portsmouth, last year, was met with a petition signed by almost 1000 people, who railed against the public nudity which they saw as ‘indecent’ and ‘offensive’. However, it is also worth noting that there is nothing illegal taking place in the World Naked Bike Ride: you’re only breaking the law if your nudity is intended to cause harm or distress to witnesses. Clearly this is very open to interpretation, and the 1000 signatories of last year’s petition would disagree with the police decision to remain uninvolved.

The bottom line is, if you don’t antagonise anyone, you won’t be spending the day in a cell…

Mayhem! humbly suggests that you save your hilarious ‘snake charming’ routine for another time.

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GET INVOLVED!

Join our

e m a f f o hall to win! s ee pag e 11

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MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

19

HMMM, DELICIOUS!

WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

Spam! what?

Yeah that ’s what we thought…turns out it is pret ty tasty. A Hawaiian delight, a modern take on Japanese sushi and processed Spam…we give you Spam Musubi.

SPAM MUSUBI Spam rose in popularity during the 40s, it was thought to be a easy and economical source of protein, now days most shoppers disregard it as junk food.

But why Hawaii? It’s thought that US soldiers brought Spam to the island in the 1940s. Hawaiians soon started to use it in their Asian-influenced recipes, and a love affair with the tinned meat — still considered a delicacy by many — was born.

However in Hawaii, they eat an estimated 6 million cans of Spam each year, much of it going into their favourite lunchbox snack, Spam Musubi.

So why not try it yourself, here’s a quick, simple and easy recipe to get you going…

The science bit 1) Soak the uncooked rice and wash under cold water through a sieve. Leave to soak for 30 minutes.

What goes in

q DVQT VODPPLFE short-grain white rice q UBCMFTQPPOT rice vinegar q DVQ TPZ TBVDF q 4UFN PG (JOHFS q DVQ XIJUF TVHBS q 5JO PG 4QBN q TIFFUT TVTIJ OPSJ (dry seaweed) q UBCMFTQPPOT vegetable oil 20 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

2) In a saucepan bring two cups of water to a boil. Add rice and stir. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes. Stir in rice vinegar, and set aside to cool.

3) Slice the Spam into eight equal pieces.

4) Marinade in soy sauce, ginger and sugar.

5) Cook the Spam on both sides until sticky and crispy approx. 2–3 minutes

6) Use the spam can to make a mould for the rice

Alternatively, once prepared…

7) Get strips of the Noki and lay them flat.

1) Brush the Musubi with eggs and coat with bread crumbs.

8) You need to work quickly to keep everything warm. Place the mould appropriately and get a spoon in the rice, compress with the back of a spoon.

2) Get a large pan, fill with oil and fry the Spam Musubi to make…wait for it…

Fried Spam Musubi!

9) Layer the spam on top.

And then apply a second layer of rice.

10) Fold the Noki over and make into a parcel 11) Eat and Enjoy!

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DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN!

SIR HARRY’S FANCY PLANTS CLUB BAND Moving into modern times, BBC Two’s extensive coverage of the event has helped to make it one of the experiences of the season, able to host up to 157,000 people each year and with a huge variety of new plants and existing varieties to be re-appraised.

Just last year an ‘A rtisan’ category award was launched, celebrating creativity, to stand proudly alongside the existing Flora, Hogg (focusing on trees), Knightian (vegetables and herbs), Lindley (exhibitions of educational or scientific interest) and Grenfell (flower arrangement, floristry, pictures, and photographs).

THE AVANT-GARDEN WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

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IN BLOOM The modern-day Flower Show as we know it has its roots in 1833’s first Royal Horticultural Society Show. The move to Chelsea came about at the suggestion of Sir Harry Veitch, a revered name among horticulture students and enthusiasts, who became chairman of the Royal Horticultural Society in 1918 and enjoyed great renown for his skill and innovation in the business of gardening.

Moving to the grounds of the Royal Chelsea Hospital (which the RHS first became involved with in 1905) was as much an aesthetic as a practical switch, following complaints regarding the shortcomings of the Temple Gardens (between the Embankment and Fleet Street) which was said to have connections to the Knights Templar (who presumably fancied a spot of gentlemanly garden management when they weren’t off 22 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

fighting crusades in the Holy Land).

This resulted in a rise in attendance, allowing much of the present-day show to take root, including the obligatory Chelsea Tea Parties.

The 1937 Coronation Year of King George VI saw royal favour curried with an Empire Exhibition – visitors to the Exhibition were treated to Australian wattles, Canadian pines, East African gladioli and a rare Palestinian prickly pear – before the outbreak of the First World War which saw the gardens pressed into use as an anti-aircraft site.

GARDEN STATE

Ask any gardener and they’ll tell you there is a world of difference between simple gardening (which to them means pure maintenance) and garden design (or ‘gardens as art’) – both disciplines requiring great skill. No surprise then that, in ancient Japan, Samurai and Zen monks practised the gentle art of ikebana, or ‘living flowers’ – a minimalist approach to flower arranging, though there is no evidence to suggest that today’s genteel florists also practice meditation and deadly martial arts, which could do a lot to liven up the likes of Gardeners World and Women’s Institute floristry courses.

It’s only since around 1970 that the concept of the ‘show garden’ took off.

The amount of land given over to these proud displays of individuality has increased year on year as everyone competes for a number of ‘special awards’, including what must amount to the grand prize of the RHS President’s Award.

So why not do something a little different this year and show off some individual flair as you work on your own symphony of seed and soil?

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DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN!

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ON YOUR WINDOWSILL

IN A SMALL GARDEN

If you’re new to the gardening scene, start off small and simple by keeping a couple of potted flowers or even herbs on your windowsill.

Whether it’s a communal garden or a tiny patch of grass, make the most of your outside space by growing whatever you can in pots.

Most herbs like basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme grow in small pots and are cheap and easy to get hold of. Wilkinsons tend to have tonnes of seeds in stock at reasonable prices so pop in and stock up.

You can find some pretty pots in places like B&Q or Homebase – and remember the more you want to grow, bigger is better!

To brighten up your herb collection, head to IKEA and pick up some super cute plant pots like the ones below at low, low prices.

If you’re feeling adventurous, vegetables like carrots, beans, peppers and even lettuce can thrive in shallow containers – such as window boxes.

Just make sure it’s deep enough (around 30cm deep should do it) and you’ll have a tasty salad growing on your windowsill in no time!

Invest in some good quality compost so that your veggies get plenty of nutrients.

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Always follow the growing instruction on the back of the packet so that your individual crops grow as well as they can.

And finally some general reminders for you: q Keep your plants nice and hydrated by watering them at least once a day; q Put them in the sunlight, or else your veggies will wither; q You can grow some veg by taking the seeds for the vegetable itself, like peppers, so give it a try!

WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

23

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DRINKS

Make sure you have plenty of room for your guests. If you’re lacking in the chair department, and neighbours aren’t being, well, very neighbourly by lending some out, then throw a few picnic blankets on the lawn for guests to laze upon.

The most important ingredient to your garden party is drinks. Grab a mini fridge and put some beers on ice, for those remaining ‘manly’ and then begin to make summery cocktails and punches. If you’re not very creative, grab a bottle of Pimms and mix with slices of strawberry, orange, cucumber, mint and ice in a big jug. The bonus is that after, you can collect the left over alcohol soaked fruit and serve with yoghurt for a delicious desert.

Keep old scraps of fabric or buy some off cuts and make your own summery bunting to decorate the area. Try a bucket full of ice in the shade with bottles of sunscreen in to encourage your companions to stay safe in the hot weather and don’t forget, if the party is going on to the evening, grab some lanterns, tea lights and solar lights for the garden.

For those more adventurous, make a summery punch or cocktail by combining vodka, Cointreau, mango puree and lime juice in a pitcher with ice. Add wedges of mango for garnish – summer in a glass! Make sure you have enough glasses, or if you think you may be running low, wash out old jam jars and add pretty straws to use as an alternative.

SETTING

WRITTEN BY KELLY WICKHAM

FOOD If you’re lacking the energy to dust down the barbeque and the thought of cleaning the grill part afterwards is exhausting, then stick to buffet style food on a table. Avoid any food which is prone to becoming inedible in hot weather and is easy to handle while mingling with a drink. Try to stick to bowls of savoury snacks, such as cheese straws, olives, mixed nuts and chips and dips. A key essential, is a bin to hand, to help keep your garden tidy and minimise the clean up the next day. Make sure there is a stack of disposable or plastic plates, cutlery and napkins at all time.

Essentials for your garden party: q & OTVSF ZPV IBWF B wide range of soft and alcoholic and drinks q $PWFS UBCMFT XJUI summery coloured, plastic, tablecloths

24 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

q 6TF DFSBNJD HBSEFO pots to hold cutlery

q 1MBDF TNBMM USFF branches on your table and arrange tea lights along it

q -JHIU TUFQT BOE TUFFQ areas of the garden with solar lights

q (FU IPME PG QMFOUZ PG plates, cutlery, napkins and glasses

q *OKFDU TPNF GVO XJUI novelty straws and drink umbrellas

q .BLF QSFUUZ CVOUJOH for decoration from old materials

q $SFBUF TPNF DIJMMFE music playlists in advance and place the speakers outside q .BLF TVSF ZPV FOKPZ yourself if hosting

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THE

VINEYARD RESTAURANT

AT WICKHAM VINEYARD

1ST0UD% ENT DISCOUN

T MON–THURS

PEN O W NO Wickham Vineyard’s newest addition is our 40 cover restaurant with ex Le Manoir Aux Quat Saison chef Paul Dive heading up the kitchen.

Offering lunch and dinner with a modern British and European menu, come and sample the quality dishes while soaking up the beautiful surroundings of the vineyard itself. We will soon be offering afternoon tea or simply enjoy a glass of Wickham wine overlooking the vines.

TO BOOK A TABLE CALL 07594 549 407 110 Albert Road, Southsea, Portsmouth 023 9281 2323 89 High Street, Cosham, Portsmouth 023 9238 5252

We also cater for private events, tours, wine tastings and wine courses. For details please visit www.wickhamvineyard.co.uk or call 01329 834 042 for information.

BOTLEY ROAD, SHEDFIELD, HAMPSHIRE, SO32 2HL

NATIONAL BBQ WEEK!

Spoons Burger Bacon, two slices of Cheddar cheese, a fried onion ring, lettuce, tomato, and pickles. Classic burger cheese, onion and all the toppings.

The Bavarian Burger

WHAT’S ON

YOUR BURGER?

Cheddar cheese, mustard, and sauerkraut served on potato bread. Taking a page out of the German cookbook for a day. Gooey cheese and spicy mustard served on top of potato bread. This will fill you up for hours… days…probably a week with all those carbs.

WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

May to t he 3rd F r om t h e 2 8 t h ion cele br at es t a n e h t , e n u J of f a B BQ ! Bu t all t he joys o t he s t an dard w hy s e t t le for yhem! are here a M r e g r u b m a h t hings up! to help you mix

Chinese Burger

Pork burger with black bean garlic sauce, cantonese vegetables topped with grilled bok choy.

A bit more exotic to your ham, egg and cheese. Why not trade in the beaten beef for pork, dress it up with a garlicky black bean sauce and throw on some juicy, fresh veggies.

26 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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NATIONAL BBQ WEEK!

Deep Fried Gravy

The Blue Vinnie Blue cheese and portobello mushroom.

Fry off a load of portobello mushrooms in a little butter, top with a strong smelly blue stilton you’ll never go for a plain burger again….

No I’m not joking.

The discs of gravy are breaded and cooked so that when you take the first bite, the warm, molten gravy oozes out and coats the burger.

Think of it like the burger equivalent of a soup dumpling.

The Mighty Veggie Leggie

Two beef patties, aged Cheddar, crispy bacon, garlic mayo, salad, relish and dill pickle. So on top of your already uber-meaty burger you top it off with not one but two beef patties. Incredible. And yet there’s more… crispy bacon, cheese, relish. Warning… heart burn, an inability to move and serious weight gain are likely.

Tempered tofu with a spicy satay, coconut and coriander sauce, lettuce, tomato, red onion, cucumber, pea shoots and aioli.

A bit more tricky, but definitely worth it. We imagine a BBQ must be pretty bore.com for the veggies out there so… why not try a battered tofu burger with a mouth-warming spicy satay sauce.

Refreshed with a light coconut and coriander sauce, cucumber and aioli.

N.B – Another great substitute for tofu- haters is falafel, it’s super quick and tastes great.

Kiwi Burger Beetroot, egg, pineapple, aged cheddar, salad, mayo and relish. Pretty similar to the Aussie burger…but they’re just across the sea.

The Kiwi’s are out with the bacon and in with the pineapple, don’t knock not till you try it!

Pork & Chorizo with Brie and spicy tomato salsa.

Australian Burger

Spicy, meaty and gooey…yum yum!

The spicy chorizo sausage complements the meaty burger beautifully, topped off with some gooey brie and refreshing jalapenoes – a Mexican delight.

Goats cheese & caramelised onions A good strong goats cheese, heaped teaspoon of sweet, sticky caramelised onions. A glamorised, quick and easy supplement to the standard cheese and onion topping.

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Slices of pancetta, Cheddar, lettuce, tomatoes, pickled beetroot, eggs sunny side up and, of course, ketchup.

We all know the Aussie do it best when it comes down to BBQs. So why not be inspired this summer to ditch the cheese and fry up an egg!

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

27

STICK ANOTHER SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE!

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PORTSMOUTH CITY COUNCIL

BBQ REGULATIONS WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

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If you are thinking of using a bBQ, please bare in mind the followingâ&#x20AC;Ś SETTING UP Make sure you have a secure, level base. Please help to protect the area by using a stand or by raising the BBQ off the grass with some bricks.

Ensure your BBQ is well away from fire risks such as hedges.

If you are using a gas BBQ and you suspect a leak, turn it off immediately.

Only set up in suitable, safe areas and never leave barbecues unattended.

PUTTING IT OUT There are water standpipes available for your convenience on Southsea Common. Please use water to carefully extinguish your BBQ and be cautious of the steam this may create.

LIGHTING Always light the BBQ with the recommended lighters â&#x20AC;&#x201C; never use petrol or similar highly volatile fuel.

COOKING Make sure your food is cooked thoroughly. Eating uncooked food can cause food poisoning.

28 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

DISPOSAL There are plenty of litter bins nearby for your rubbish. Please ensure that your BBQ is fully extinguished and cold before disposal as warm coals can cause burns or a fire.

The First Aid Centre can be found at the Lifeguard Centre by the Rock Gardens on the Promenade (between The Pyramids and South Parade Pier).

World

Championship BBQ Contest Hundreds of teams in the US compete for over JO QSJ[FT BOE supreme bragging rights. Teams adorn their areas with elaborate decoration, trophies attesting to their boasting rights, and as one can imagine, clever and creative team names. While grilling is the main theme, the contest wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be complete without the Ms. Piggy Idol competition where the finest swine tests their vocal skills, and grown men dress in tutus and snouts and women kick their heels (hooves) up.

There is also a t-shirt competition and even a best booth contest.

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MAYHEM! REVIEWS…

WRITTEN BY JENNIFER LE ROUX PHOTOS BY MARIANNE HARRIS

at cal fe st ival th An aw es om e lo es sf ul cc su e alongs id st ood it s ground am Sl ke li , terparts heav y mus ic coun em en t ev hi ac st ival . An Fe vy He d an nk Du ed by a feat ured furt her en hanc ng! (Iss ue 1408). review in K erra Visiting from Portsmouth there was a feeling of curious intrusion, roaming the various bars and stages at Southampton University. As we passed fans eagerly clasping their beers and on a mission to catch their favourite bands, we knew it would be impossible to see them all.

Here is what one of the winners of our Takedown Ten Ticket competition, Milly Youngman, had to say: “We spent most of the afternoon chilling out with a beer or three checking out some local talent.

Deaf Havana were standout band of the day. They delivered a tight and engaging set proving they were the best thing to come out of Norfolk since webbed feet. And me, of course. Sadly for those of us needing to make the last train Skindred arrived on stage late. They made up for it though blasting the crowd with their unique blend of reggae-rock. Luckily for us, Benji didn’t notice when we had to slip off early for a nap on the train after a fantastic day of music. Thanks Mayhem!”

Check out our full review of Takedown Festival 2012 online at

www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk.

G PO RTS MOUTH IF SUB SROUCE ARE PLAYIN , ON TH E LAS T FRI DAY YOU MI SSE D TAK EDO WN FRI ENDS AT ENV Y: & A OF MAY WI TH BA LBO BA LBOA.D UB STE P WW W.F ACE BOOK .COM/ Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

Like our Facebook page for your chance to WIN FREE TICKETS to see The Horrors at the Pyramids in our next ten ticket competition this May. www.facebook.com/themayhemmagazine MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

29

WRITTEN BY TORY NAIRN

SUMMER SUNDOWNERS!

ed cocktails With all th es e cann cal supermarke t lo r popping up on ou ed if you sh elve s, ev er wonder dif ference? e th can really tast e y da On a casual Tu es ed our af ternoon, we rack w on ho br ain s, wondering th e st te eart h we would ch mu r te said products ! Af d ce fa de liber at ion we on an d th e sit uation head lu tion so realise d th e on ly ch will be to try ea such individual product, e a hass le ! Le t th tast e-of f begin!

BA CA RDI MORG AN CO K E S PIC E D + ice ‘n’ all sp d Su ga r an Spicy ru m th ings n ice. ga r coke w it h the su nes taste h its ever yo right. st ju buds

M OJ I TO Ma king a mojito will take a lot of effor t…so why not grab Baca rd i’s new Mojito m ix sti ck a few fresh m int lea ves and you’d never know

B E LLS + LE G IN G E R A ong the am r ne Not a w in go. t st ill wor th a whisk ies bu ed ur lo co d T he cooper-re d w n in sips an liquor goes do e. on er dinner dips a nice aft

30 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

M A LI B U + CR A N B ER RY Pink Calpol w ith balls… a good cockta il party drink. In stead of fizzy, this one offers a smooth, fresh juiciness.

SM IR N O FF + CO K E Simple and ea sy, the classic vodka and coke w ill go do wn as a light refre sher before you pu ll the big bottles ou t….

BACARDI CUBA LI BRE Inspired by the Cubans in a short glass, over ice and wedges of lime it’s essentially the real thing….

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SUMMER SUNDOWNERS!

COM FO RT, SOU TH ER N + LI M E DE A LE M O N ru m my, sc d an t Swee ade and lime classic lemon Sout hern ith combined w ing th is ak m Com fort have! t us m a n ca

G O R DO N ’ S G IN + TO N IC Grab a few ca ns, over ic e w it h lemon in a ta ll collins glas s…per fect fo r a hot su m m ers day.

BAC ARDI + COL A Does what it says on the tin. Suga ry, fizzy coke laced with smooth Baca rdi rum …lovely.

A N I E LS JA CK D ER + G I NG wa s is wh key W ho said ld, ldies…co for the o ha it ished w crisp fin the m o fr rmth little wa l. elightfu ginger…d

PI M M S Slice up a few st rawberr ies and you’ve got the real de al! Not bad on a su m mer y after noon . A n extra splash of Pim ms wou ld n’t go am iss.

ERRY & CR AN B P BERRY S A R e , E th R AP we have HI T E G Fea r not, rfectly AI L - W ly detox? k e e ju ices, pe M O CKT w it a u n fr o f o st d rr y ju n r le l? O e, Raspbe ticated b Tee Tota h ite Grap A soph is W r. r e e lo lo h h c S . rk le f yea r. a nswer….S ch of spa ny time o w it h a tou ment at a sh e fr ba la nced re t ec rr y is perf & Cra nbe

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MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

31

BARGAIN TIME!

HOW TO SHOP SMARTLY IN

CHARITY SHOPS WRITTEN BY KELLY WICKHAM

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RUMMAGE The key to all charity shops is rummaging. Dont forget, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not like your high street stores â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with the same top on 20 rails, organised by colour and then by size. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s part of the beauty of a charity shop. You can find both vintage labels and items that have barely been worn.

The little wave of excitement you get when you find the perfect item should be bottled and sold!

32 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

BARGAIN We Brits love a bargain and you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t find many better than in a charity shop. You can buy all aspects of an outfit from shoes, bags, belts, tops, jeans, skirts, dresses, jackets, jumpers, coats and hats and all at unbelievable prices. Half the items are brand new (some even still have the labels in) and because the shops are raising money for charity, you can get incredible deals and still feel good about it!!!

IF YOU DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T BUY, SELL! If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still not sold on purchasing your new wardrobe from a charity shop, then why not donate to them?

How many times have you cleared out your closet only to find lots of unworn or disliked items? Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t throw them in the bin to clutter our landfill sites â&#x20AC;&#x201C; stuff them in the bag thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s popped through your letter box and leave it to be collected (how convenient is that?). Alternatively, fill a bin-bag and take it down to your local charity shop. And be sure to bask in the feel-good feeling that comes with donating to charity.

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ANYTHING

GOES Vintage Clothing

GOLDSMITH AVENUE SOUTHSEA PO4 0AW

023 9235 5245 Anything Goes is the charity shop for Bivol Trust, which provides art, dressmaking and social groups for young people with learning disabilities in Portsmouth, Fareham and Gosport.

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Come to us for an excellent range of affordable vintage clothing! If you are looking for special outfits from the 1940’s or 1950’s or just funky dresses, tops, skirts, jeans, bags or accessories from the 1960’s, 70’s or 80’s, come and have a look! See also our special range of rare and sought after Edwardian and 1930’s dresses – ideal for weddings and a fraction of the usual cost!

We also sell vinyls, vintage books and bric-a-brac.

Visitors to our shop are amazed at our low prices and will come back time and again, so why not join them? You will come away with a bargain and you will be helping young disabled people too!!

97 Elm Grove, Southsea PO2 1LH

023 9275 0518 www.anything-goes-vintage-clothing.uk

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ADRENALIN JUNKIE!

Fancy the

High JUMP? WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

You don’t have to be in and around Portsmouth for very long before you realise that the seafront has a number of hotspots that people use to cool off whenever there’s some warm weather.

34 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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ADRENALIN JUNKIE!

Tombstoning is, let’s not beat about the bush, bloody stupid. End of.

In 2008 a tombstoner was paralysed for life after leaping off the South Parade Pier. He jumped from a height of 30 feet into water that was only 3.5 feet deep. You do the maths.

He might as well have leapt directly onto concrete.

Other locations across the City where tombstoning takes place include Whale Island, Camber Dock and along the seafront including both the Square and Round Towers.

Take a walk, enjoy the views, chill out and enjoy yourself. But don’t even

think about doing a spot of casual leaping from any or all of them. Because it might just kill you – or, if you’re lucky, you’ll get away with a spot of light paralysis.

All those liquid meals and needing someone else to wipe your backside for you, for the rest of your life, doesn’t sound appealing to us…

There are three major risks associated with Tombstoning.

1 TE M PE RATURE SHOC K

The water is going to be a lot , LOT colder tha n you think . This can ca use cramping, collaps e, even heart failure.

Y IM PACT INJUR

2

cks or That is, hitting ro low al sh the bottom of the g in iss m water, or is can Th r. he et og water alt rio se us lead to death or injury. al in paraplegic sp

there ar Goog e plenty o f exam le ples.

And h and enter Ju “ ave a read. Tombstoni st go to ng de But h aths ” ey - w . e ’re no killj oys at t com plete Mayhe is an m!. alt seeke ernative fo Because th rs ou t ther r you thri ere ll e…

R TI DE S O S T N E R R CU ou into

3

y n sweep T he s e c a tions, or c u tr s ob o r u n de r nd what to sea . A e ve n o u t BUFS BO X Q FU EFF XBT GF ly be might on hou r a go w t deep a fe three fee r. te hours la

COAS TEERING Coasteering is a mixture of swimming, climbing, scrambling, and traversing the coastline. When it is safe to do so coasteering also allows you to jump into the sea from height. You can explore areas of the coast that you would never normally see. Coasteering is ideally a group activity that allows you to have fun with your mates and fellow adrenaline junkies.

It’s still a dangerous activity, and there’s still an element of risk involved. But if you must do it, then at least show some responsibility and check the BCF out before deciding if you want to take it any further.

Coasteering Federation website.

www.britishcoasteeringfederation.co.uk

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MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

35

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY!

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The Maypole in Barwick near Leeds is 86 feet tall and is the biggest in England. Despite its girth and weight itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still erected by hand by the stout and hearty men of the village.

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HISTORY As with many of our holidays, we owe a lot of them to those damned Romans. Yes, not content with the aqueduct and straight roads, they were rather big on leisure time and celebration. And any excuse for it.

As far as May Day is concerned, it goes way beyond Christianity â&#x20AC;&#x201C; to the life and times of the Roman goddess of flowers, Flora.

Remember, this is all happening before anyone had ever heard of Jesus or Easter, which Christianity has hijacked for the celebration for new life and rebirth. But believe me, May Day got there first.

Gaelic nations also celebrated May Day as the coming of spring, while neo-Pagan cultures spent the day dancing around the Maypole to celebrate the coming new fertility of the season.

May Dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been about a bit, so it does seem rather nice that we still celebrate it today.

36 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

A LITTLE BIT OF POLITICS May Day is also International Workers Day. This is a celebration of international left wing and Labour movements across the world and is celebrated as a holiday in over eighty countries â&#x20AC;&#x201C; indeed, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the reason why we have the day off in the UK. Spoilsport right wing Governments have tried to abolish the holiday in recent years, including Conservative Ministers in the present Government, who want it shifted to October under the pretext that it would lengthen Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tourist season.

HOW IS IT CELEBRATED? If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re out on the booze, you may note some strangely dressed men, bearded and garlanded with ribbons dancing about outside. Yep, Morris Dancers. Visiting tourists love them and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s harmless enough. It seems an uniquely English tradition but has devotees across the world. Likewise, dancing around the Maypole.

A Maypole 143 high was used in London back in the 17th Century.

After many years of stout and firm service, it finally collapsed in 1771 when Isaac Newton attempted to put an enormous telescope on top if it!

BLOODY STUDENTS The students at Magdalen College in Oxford have made it a tradition to leap into the River Cherwell from the top of Magdalen Bridge every May Day. Despite attempts to ban the practice, they jump every year and, every year, some of them are hospitalised, despite the warnings and obvious danger.

This is the countries so-called intellectual elite remember â&#x20AC;&#x201C; you might elect one as PM one day!

AND REMEMBER...

The truth hurts but it has to be said.

An employer is not obliged to give you time off on either a Bank or a Public Holiday â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it remains an employees privilege, rather than right. Check the small print in your contract of employment.

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WRITTEN BY THE INTERVIEW HUB

The Hairy Bikers or the Hairy Bakers? You decide...

38 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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CATCH UP WITH…

They’re the lovably hirsute duo who became a surprise overnight sensation thanks to their down to earth devotion for all things ‘grub’.

But that could soon be coming to an end if the rumours that the Hairy Bikers are parting ways have any truth to them. Reports suggest that the pair – who gained a cult following with their series Hairy Bikers Cookbook, Mum’s Knows Best and Food Tour of Britain - are soon to split, with one half, Si King, looking to move away from the spotlight to concentrate on his business enterprises. Thankfully, the foodies are quick to rubbish the claims.

“Why oh why would I want to break up the Bikers?” King fires back immediately.

“I get to work with my best mate every day, travelling the world, sampling the best food you can find, and I get paid for it! Only a crazy person would walk away from such a sweet deal.”

“And to be fair,” partner in crime Dave Myers chips in, “any couple in the press has speculation about their relationship, and clearly we’re no different. Like Brad and Angelina, we are.”

The Bikers, who recently became Bakers for latest series Bakeathon – a pastry-based odyssey across Europe – have seen their popularity swell in recent years, with companies clambering to sign them to lucrative sponsorship deals. Fortunately, the pair haven’t let their newfound celebrity status affect the way they go about their profession, with both quick to knock the other down should one get a little big for his size 11s.

“We hardly have fans running after us down the street,” Myers laughs, “but the last couple of years have been very good to us and long may it continue.

And I don’t think either of us will ever get above our station; I just couldn’t see that happening to be honest and, if it did, the other would sort that out.”

It seems the pair, who’ve known each other for nearly 20 years, since meeting on the set of a Catherine Cookson TV adaptation, have the perfect relationship with little to disturb the perfect harmony.

“We had a big row over mayonnaise once,” Si chuckles, “I don’t think mayonnaise should be made with olive oil and he does. That’s really the biggest row we’ve had which is probably a very good sign!”

“Si does annoy the pants off me though,” Dave interjects. “He sucks his teeth a lot when he’s thinking, although he’s stopped doing that as much recently.

But he used to always do it on the phone – I could just hear this sucking noise coming down from the other end; it gave me the creeps. Another one is when he lifts his pint of beer up and the beer mat is stuck to the bottom of the glass. That annoys the hell out of me!”

Away from pub politics, the Bikers have just signed on the dotted line for their new series Mississippi Adventure for UKTV food channel Good Food. The six-part series will see them explore the length of the Mississippi River in America’s Deep South in pursuit of the roots of soul food and Southern music.

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

The Hairy Bikers’ Bakeat hon can be seen on BBC2 on Tuesday nig hts at 8pm.

“We are over-excited – to say the least – about our trip to Mississippi: the mix of music, food and motorcycles goes back to the very foundation of the Hairy Bikers,” Dave says. “The series promises to be a journey of discovery into the culture of an incredible place.”

Each episode will be themed in a different Southern music genre – jazz, blues, cajun, country and western, soul and rock ‘n’ roll – looking at the locations and food stories that have helped define them.

King explains: “We visit New Orleans for blues and Tamales, Memphis for a soul stew and fried chicken. Then Nashville for country and western, sampling pork, and Lafayette in Louisiana for Cajun music and shrimp creole. Living the true spirit of an American road movie, we set out on Harley Davidsons to cover more than 3,000 miles of American tarmac.

It feels good to be on the road again.

Now that’s our kind of road trip...”

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

39

PHOTOS BY SAM KING

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MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

45

THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!

WRITTEN BY ANABELA GAVRILOVA

– reliant on technologanyd ily av he e ar es liv le ho Nowadays, our w to iPads – everyone wants the best from smart -phones he market. The same goes for music as newest gadget on t the age where C Ds rarely get bought well – we’re living in either buy a certain track or album and people prefer tonternet or to download pirate straight off the I one would ever think that, in a time M P3s instead. No digitalised, that vinyl records would where everything ist ’s right – vinyl is returning to be revived. Y es, tha s been scoring steady sale the market and it ha

REVIVAL

A BIT OF HISTORY…

*O WJOZM BMCVNT SFBDIFE B TUBHHFSJOH NJMMJPO JO TBMFT BO JODSFBTF PG GSPN UIF QSFWJPVT ZFBST XIJMF at the same time CD sales have had a double digit decline.

The percentage of vinyl sales in the major record labels is not high, but it’s still significant enough to warrant reissues of classic titles such as Radiohead’s OK Computer but new titles as well.

46 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!

WHO BUYS VINYL? Many people would think that vinyl is being brought back by the Baby Boomers, nostalgic for their favourite music – but that’s not entirely true, as a number of college-age consumers have also become quite attracted to this old music medium.

The main reason for this is vinyl’s superior sound quality. They are produced by analogue recording techniques and, since the human ear hears in analogue, not digital, it sounds naturally better – bringing a warmth and ambiance to the music.

The records sound ‘genuine’, like they are created by humans, not by a machine. Due to the compression of the sound, the MP3 quality sounds artificial and too precise. One can simply say that vinyl has a certain tangible character, which an MP3 lacks and why analogue records are coming out strong in this battle.

Then there are the limited editions, coloured vinyl, picture discs, and amazing cover art that gives vinyl records a special allure for collectors.

CHOICE Many music artists are now making sure that they give their fans the choice of music formats – be it CDs, MP3s or vinyl.

If choosing vinyl, you may be pleasantly surprised, as many of the records come with codes for downloading the album free from the Internet. This means that you can have the tangible record as well as a digitalised version, which you can carry everywhere, which is a double benefit.

As with everything, however, vinyl has its pros and cons. The cons being that the records are tough to transport, bulky to store and easy to damage. MP3s have enabled consumers to essentially pack their whole music collection into their phone or music player, but many believe that this is just not the same.

Think about it – logging into iTunes will never replace the sensation of walking into a local record store and browsing through the crates, will it?

SO… Even though digital is the future of music, there will always be hardcore music lovers that will want a tangible connection to the music that a digital file cannot provide. Vinyl will probably never be the dominant music medium it was before but it seems unlikely to fade away any time soon.

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GETTING DOWN WITH…

ot to fam e Th e hip-hop star, wh o sh th e rele ase last ye ar in th e US with Friday. of he r de but album Pink

INTERVIEW BY SARAH ELENA SCHWERZMANN/HOTFEATURES

Nicki – real name Onika Maraj – was born in the Caribbean island of Trinidad and brought up by her grandmother. However she moved to the Queens borough of New York when she was five years old to live with her mother.

48 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

Discovered by fellow American rapper Lil Wayne, Nicki signed her first record deal with Young Money Entertainment in 2009. Pink Friday charted at number two in the US and she became the first artist to have seven songs within the Billboard HOT 100, at the same time.

Here Nicki opens up about her tough upbringing and how she never takes her success for granted. Looking after her little brother and how she is handling the fame game, where her use of alter egos came from… plus whether she can actually walk in those heels...

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GETTING DOWN WITH…

Congratulations on a great album.

The heels you are wearing on the cover – can you actually walk in those?

Thank you. If I’m going outside – no. They actually weren’t that bad because they’re platforms and actually platforms are more comfortable, but I definitely can’t walk at a normal pace in them.

Very few artists manage to stay true to the hip-hop spirit and still make it on a mainstream level.

How did you achieve that?

Well, I feel like I kind of stay true to my hip-hop spirit by giving them what they want and then I do what I want.

But I do make sure I give them a balance, you know, ‘Did it On ‘em’, ‘Roman’s Revenge’ and ‘I’m the Best’ on the album, my hardcore hip-hop

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fans will love those records. So I think that’s the way that you do it – you have to balance, you have to give people what they want and do what you like and hopefully when they hear the new stuff that you like, they’ll appreciate it. You just never know.

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

49

GETTING DOWN WITH…

You’ ve said your difficult childhood made you a fighter. Did that prepare you for going into a tough environment like the music industry?

Yeah because in this business you have to be used to having all the doors closed. You have to be used to people saying, ‘Nah, you’re not what we’re looking for.’ So when you have a childhood where you are used to being told ‘No’ and you’re used to not getting the best Christmas gifts then, yeah, you are accustomed to not always getting what you want and you are accustomed to working for it. So if you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth and you come into the entertainment business, you’re going to get let down a lot.

And it will probably send you crazy.

This business is for the mentally strong. If you’re not mentally strong, it’s not going to work. My childhood was crazy but it got me to the point where I had faith in whatever I’m doing. I just always feel ‘where there’s a will there’s a way’ and I’ve lived my entire life that way.

So your past is something that drives you?

Oh of course because, you know, you never want to go back to being poor.

Once you’ve had a taste of that you will always be driven, you will always feel like ‘at any moment I could lose everything, and be back to where I was’ and I know what that was and I don’t want to feel that way again.

With all the success and luxuries you have now though, is that sometimes easy to forget?

Oh I will never forget it. It’s in the back of my mind every day. And that’s why I’m trying to mend because this is very, very important, it’s beyond just wearing a wig and new shoes. This is my life. It’s the same as someone who works nine to five and they have a pension plan and they want to send their children to college. I think people don’t realise that entertainers feel that too – we’re doing our job and 50 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

we want to be able to send our kids through college as well. So, you know, you might like a new artist and they are here today and gone tomorrow but what does that mean for that artist as a human being? Like now you have to go back to a regular world, now you have to go back to a regular job. It’s strange and I think it’s even harder when you’ve had a taste of ‘the good life’ to go back to a regular life because everything changes, your mind frame changes. You’re expecting to have these nice things and also nice things for people that you love like my little brother, and to all the little people in my life. In the world they are little people but to me they are everything. And you feel like, you know, one bad move with me can ruin everything for them.

And so it becomes such a big thing, it becomes bigger than the music.

Do you put yourself under a lot of pressure?

Yes but I think that is probably the reason why I’ve been able to win.

I don’t think that I would be winning if I didn’t put myself under pressure and people who don’t put themselves under pressure are usually underachievers.

How do you feel about the negative side of fame? Being chased by paps?

You know I’ve come to realise that there are no negative sides. I guess it’s just a matter of the way you look at it.

Like some people can see paparazzi as negative and some people can see the paparazzi as something they’ve always wanted. Same thing with blogs. Some people are like ‘oh my god will they just get me off these freakin blogs’! I remember a time where I wanted the blog to talk about me, but once they talk they say mean things - you can’t predict that but would you change it? Would I want the blogs not to talk about me – no. So, the way I cope with it now is to say ‘these are not negative things, these are things that I’ve always wanted and I’m just going

to have to learn how to appreciate it’ - because if I didn’t have it, I’d want it.

You work explicitly with your feminity and your sexuality. Why is that important to you?

I mean I was explicit with my sexuality a while ago. When I was doing my mix-tapes and stuff. I felt that’s what you had to do. But Pink Friday is not explicit at all sexually. It’s just my foul mouth at times, not sexually explicit because I don’t feel like I have to do that. Women only have to do that when they have nothing else to offer.

I think that once you find that you have so much more to offer, once you realise that you’re really intelligent, once you have enough confidence in yourself that you can have a conversation, an intelligent conversation, you can imbibe people with other things then it’s like – why do I have to be overtly sexy? It’s good to balance it because as a woman you should feel sexy and sometimes I want to feel sexy. But I don’t feel that my lyrics have to be talking about sex and how good sex is and all that. It’s just like ‘it is what it is, it’s just sex, ok next’. Also the girls, the kids, they are younger and younger, they’re like 14 years old camping out by my hotel. Not that I want to make myself corny but I also feel that I have a responsibility that if I’m going to say crazy things like, ‘I’m a bad b-tch, I’m a c–t’, I’m also going to say in another song, I’m not going to allow myself to be defined. So that the girls can have the crazy stuff but, also have the uplifting things and they start realising that I’m just a multi-faceted artist.

Is that why you use alter egos?

No, I think I use the alter egos because the alter egos just came out while I was in the studio. I just started rapping and weird new voices would come out. And I didn’t realise,

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GETTING DOWN WITH… I was like ‘what is this? This is weird’ but it was also exciting. I get bored very easily so if I’m not changing stuff up and I’m not adding new stuff it’s like ‘agh’! Plus I don’t want my fans to get bored with me so I change things up. I add things, like the alter egos, as an escape. One of the alter egos Roman, comes out when some mean things need to be said.

You used to admire female rap icons and now you’re a rap icon yourself – how does that feel?

Sometimes I don’t believe it’s my life to be honest. I know everybody asks me ‘how does it feel’ but I wish there was a way to really incorporate my feelings in words, it’s just so hard to do it. Right now I just feel blessed, that’s a great word to use because I know that so many girls would kill for this.

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You know in The Devil Wears Prada where she kept saying, “A million girls would kill for this” you know when Meryl Streep’s character keeps saying that – that’s how I feel right now. A million girls would kill for this and I need to appreciate what I have and that’s why I am going to appreciate it and I’m going to keep on raising the bar and I’m going to keep on shocking people and I’m going to continue to just give people quality and that’s it.

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

51

MURDER ON THE DANCE FLOOR!

! !

N O I T A U T I S A T O G E V â&#x20AC;&#x2122; E W

E DANC H T E T A U C A V E

E F L O OR â&#x20AC;Ś

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; M GOING TO WI PE TH E FLOOR WITH YOUâ&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the jokey type, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pret end to be a good dancer, and I just like to have a good time . I took this a bit too far one even ing, I was out with the girls at a 90s even ing, so in my fuzzy mind I thought it appropria te to let loose on the dance floor !

I cracked out a personal class ic, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;the microwaveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; esse ntial y a combinati on of mini- move ments.

Stag e 1 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Open the meta phor ical microwave door, pierce the prod ucts lid and pop it in, turn on and set the time .

Stag e 2 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Star t swir ling those hips, roun d and roun d.

Stag e 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Take it out, but oops itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s HOT shake your hand and blow !

Stag e 4 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Complete!

A f ter feeling part icula rly smug , I looked up to see none other than the guy I was seein g at the time . To my horror I went brigh t red and wish ed for the grou nd to swal low me whol e! It obviously didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; t faze him too much as we rema ined dancing and we our coming up to our year and a half anniv ersa ry!â&#x20AC;?

PHILIPPA , 23, WILDLIFE RESE

ARCH ER.

AYZ E JUST PATRIC K SW GRAVE!!

TURNE D IN HtoIS think of myself as a

I like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whenever I go out, dy pop; tin! I can sort of bo younger Usher or Jus my teens. in ror mir front of the many days spent in got a and â&#x20AC;&#x2122; pes â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;sha e som t ou d So one night I cracke e on cam g son t . When the nex pretty good response my d trie I , ves mo ger t even big I thought Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d pull ou re the le, sty lkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Michael Jackson hand at the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;moonwa , ped slip I or, nks on the flo was a lot of spilt dri k all the s and had brown gun no chi new my ripped iliated.â&#x20AC;? hum t, I made a sharp exi way up my left leg. #& / 4"-&4 "4

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52 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

T LEG -I M EN PULLED A k, so I wor to had I ing, danc out g goin e all

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Last New Year, we wer and soon enough as drunk as arrived late. I starting playing catch-up and I started to jig away. but after a few beers, my limbs loosened off my knee really started to ache. ent and I dislocated my knee.)

(Three years ago I had a cricket accidbing the pain, but then Eurthea num king, drin on Anyway I carried ent. Dancing away I turned elem my in Franklin came on, and I was I felt sick to the core, my ! sharply on my left leg, and heard a snap

through me. I managed, after tested my walk and pain shot straight t that New Year with the local and get myself to the hospital. I speneyeb alls in morphemeâ&#x20AC;?. drunkards of the town, up to my &3 /5 ."/"( ,:-& 3&45"63"

M U R DE R ON

TH E DANC E

FLO O R

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whenever I have a few vodka Redb ulls, the sug ar rus to my head. I stan hes to my arms, an d legs at sh oulder d the vodka width apart, sway my hips that are ing my hips. Ho weve the health hazard r itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not but my arms, I tu rn my elb ows out So once, on a parti an d SWING! cularly piddled ev ening, my friends did I kn ow that a and I started to da girl behind me had nce, little tw o full glasses of lem onade (but ho w what looked like vo could one tell afte dka r Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d spilt it all over th of rage went acros e flo or and her!) s her face, and I A look bo lte d to th to keep a low profil e other side of th e dance flo or. I ha e all night but my d dancing still rem ain What can I say a s just as extravag girl gotta dance!! ant! â&#x20AC;? 304*& 45 6%&/5

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A greener way to enjoy the day For  more  details  www.portsmouthsummerfair.org Part  of

INTERVIEW BY JENNIFER LE ROUX

MIXING IT UP WITH…

If the tracks ‘Something Good’ and ‘What Can You Do For Me’ tickle your dance music memory banks then you’ve heard “the first true stadium house band” Utah Saints.

Tim and Jez have been busy preparing new releases for their Sugarbeat label and running their Sugarbeat club night (recent guests include Erol Alkan, Fake Blood, and Jack Beats).

Mayhem! find out what they have to bring to the Electronic Dance Music scene and how they plan to fight the continued sub genre uprising!

We understand you both met in the 90s Harrogate Nightclub scene, how would you say dance music has evolved and where do you think it’s heading?

Dance music has kind of come a full circle now. It started off as a very 56 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

eclectic scene, where genre didn’t matter too much. Then for a few years everyone became quite concerned with sub genres, which was a shame as it inhibited people listening to broad ranges of music.

Now is a very exciting time with music really just falling under the one genre of “Electronic Dance Music” (EDM), which is much healthier! Dance music is exploding right now as well, properly going off in the states and there are artists like Skrillex winning Grammys! Dance music has really come a long way.

Where did the rumour come from about a Kate Bush law suit? Do you ever struggle to get permission on samples that you are really passionate about using?

No idea where the rumour came from, and hadn’t heard it – so you have probably got a better idea than us!

Getting samples cleared is always a nerve racking time, as we put so much work and effort in to try and do a respectful job, then sometimes it doesn’t even reach the artist. It can be a very convoluted process involving a lot of people and other times it’s incredibly smooth and quick. For example Metallica were unbelievably cool about it, and they are so huge they didn’t have to be.

You seemed to have a hibernation perioud between 2002–2008, why did you decide to take a break and what happened during this time?

We didn’t stop making music, DJing or promoting – we never have in 20 years. We just thought it best to be under the radar for a while, to fall back in love with music and to take the pressure off Utah Saints for a while. We wanted to get back into the fun side of music.

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MIXING IT UP WITH… You tend to have a long time-period between your releases, why is that?

We never want to release music we feel isn’t great, and that can really really hold us back. Whenever you do your job you have some self doubt about whether you’ve done it well or not and we have set the bar way too high for ourselves sometimes, so it’s really a case of continually trying to better ourselves. We’ve gone for quality over quantity.

How did it feel when you realised you had the most played song on Radio 1 in 2008?

We were very taken aback by that.

A huge compliment and welcome back for us and we will always be grateful to everyone who asked for it at Radio 1, and to Radio 1 themselves.

They are amazing to us.

Talk us through how your live shows work when you include musicians on stage? Are there plenty of rehearsals beforehand?

We haven’t had a full live band for a while now, some years, but yes was a lot of prep – there always is with computers and samples. They all have to be in time or it goes very weird and Jazz like. We’re friends with the guys form Pendulum and they were telling us they now take out 25 laptops to do a live gig. We weren’t far off that, only pre laptop time meant the equipment would fill a truck, so it was costly to tour.

What type of musicians do you work with? What has been the most unique instrument?

We had loads of weird midi controllers, probably the rarest being a Stepp midi guitar – there is a demo when it was on Tomorrow’s World on TV on youtube – looks hilarious now to watch.

How does the mixing process work for you? Do you spontaneously formulised than that?

Always spontaneous, and can go wrong to the delight of trainspotters.

Do you feel intimidated or over shadowed by the uprising of a dubstep obsessed generation?

What are your feelings on dubstep?

Not at all. It’s wicked for us to be able to play such a cross section of music at gigs. We’ve always been about energy, and blurring the lines – dubstep has helped so much in broadening what is acceptable in DJ sets. Hopefully dubstep will continue to be just one genre, and not split up into too many sub genres.

Having experienced success for many years, how have you adapted to the digital age and fast moving developments with technology?

We’re online on tech and music blogs every day for at least a couple of hours, to keep up with new music and new bits of kit – it’s fast moving, but very inspiring.

Are you embracing social media?

What kind of news do you like to tweet and share?

Yes, we try to get a balance with Twitter between Utah Saints’ news, gigs, music, politics, interesting randomness, and of course how great we are and what we had for lunch (joke!).

With everything else, time is always an issue keeping up with everything social media wise, especially as we still do most of it ourselves.

What made you decide to release ‘What Can You Do For Me’ as your album on the horizon or any more tracks available online?

We just wanted a version to play in our sets as the original was sounding dated and we didn’t play it anymore.

We put it out to a couple of friends, Dorrly was first back with a great mixm and that went on the Radio.

Then Bassline Smith and Drumsound did a mix that we loved, so we took that as a starting point, added some bits ourselves and next thing we knew it accidentally ended

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up coming out again. Fairly typical of the way things work around here.

We hope to have an album this year and working very hard atm on that.

Give us an idea of the people behind How do you spend your spare time?

Family, making music, listening to music, DJ ing, talking music and promoting club nights and our label.

That’s about it! No time for anything else, apart from maybe the odd film (but we still get distracted by the music in the film).

Do you have any advice for aspiring DJ’s in Portsmouth?

Yes, enjoy what you do and keep doing things, something will happen!

Who are your favourite artists at the moment? Do you have any on your wish list for collaboration?

Too many! Erm…Knife Party and Skrillex are obviously on fire at the moment, also Zedd, Zinc, A Skillz , Mooqee, Drumsound and Bassline Smith, DJ Fresh, Rory Lyons, DJ Santero, Jakwob, Skepta, SHM, Young Guns, Lost Prophets, BMTH… How is the tour going? Are their any locations you are looking forward to in particular?

Going great, really looking forward to Portsmouth!

What’s next for Utah Saints? Any festivals lined up for the summer?

We curate a stage at our favourite – Beatherder in Lancs, but also playing Knockengorroch, Secret Garden, Willowman and about another 6 smaller ones.

Is there anything else you want to share with Mayhem! that we haven’t covered?

Yes, keep being excited about music, super good for the soul.

U tah Sain ts are @ playing Wast er Liquid, 4 May! MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

57

fes tival ON A BUDGET HOW TOâ&#x20AC;Ś

WRITTEN BY AMYROSE DEMPSEY

FESTIVAL TOP TIPS q ( FU PWFS ZPVSTFMG &NCSBDF the fact that your personal hygiene is going to take a serious slip at festivals.

q -FTT JT NPSF :PV EP OPU OFFE 5 pairs of shoes, whatever you take, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re carrying and there is a large possibility of it getting ruined.

fun, you ge t to se e Fe st ivals are great et new peop le an d bands, you ge t to me lot. Bu t, th eyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; re you ge t to drink â&#x20AC;Śa for thos e with y ll not ch eap es pecia cons ide r tr av el , to a bu dg et. You ne ed d drinking ! Mayhem! sle eping , eating an lpful tips on how to is here with some he owing th e bu dg et. fe st ival withou t bl

TRAVEL Festivals are rarely in locations with easy access.

Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re often in fields in the middle of nowhere like Glastonbury or even on completely different islands all together. So railcards and early bird tickets are an excellent way to save a few pennies. Parking is also tricky, so try to fill your cars and split the fuel. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an annual event and some coach firms have realised they can make a quick buck â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but hey, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re cheap and a ticket will get you there and back for very little.

Make sure you pack a gas mask for the return journey!

58 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

q 8FU XJQFT BSF MJLF HPME EVTU Stock up! q %PO U UBLF ZPVS J1IPOF CSVTI UIF DPCXFCT PĂŠ UIBU /PLJB the batteries last a life time! q $IPPTF IJHI HSPVOE XIFO pitching your tent. When the rain falls those eager beavers who pitched at the bottom of the hill will be up to their eyeballs in sludge.

EATING

SLEEPING Having somewhere to crash in a drunken state is essential, but space is limited when there are 100,000 tents, so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually easier to share with a friend. You can pick up something half decent without spending too much from most supermarkets.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably best to avoid anything special as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s likely to be 3 foot under once the heavens open.

Before you go, grab your friends and do a group shop.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unlikely thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be any real facilites, so disposable BBQs and unrefridgerated foods are best. Grab some cereal and some long lasting milk, this will make you feel better the mornings after and saves spending a small fortune in the festival food vans.

Tinned foods like sausage and beans are a good alternative and can be eaten cold if you blew-up your gas stove. Snacks and dried foods are ideal and help soak up the beers!

q *EFOUJGZ ZPVS UFOU " HPPE flag usually does the trick. q %PO U QVU BMM ZPVS NPOFZ JO one place. A funky bum-bag is helpful but also stuffing a few quid in your sock is great for emergencies. q #JO MJOFST :PV DBO LFFQ ZPVS stuff from getting wet and if needs mustâ&#x20AC;Śwear it!

ALCOHOL Again, the trusty supermarkets are your saviour here. Crates of cheap beer, wine and cider are stacked high in festival season, so get what you can, but remember, only take what you can carry, otherwise youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be forced to make a sacrifice.

Food, tent or booze?

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WWW.BEACHBREAKLIVE.COM/MAYHEMMAGAZINE

THE DON INVESTIGATESâ&#x20AC;Ś

that ion time again, Yes, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eurovis , aganza of glitz televisual extrav go ff notes. And glamour and du it! you bloody love on, admit it â&#x20AC;&#x201C;

nil to be awarded Desperate not the rd ! climbs aboa points, Mayhem find n in order to Eurovision trai n t the inst itutio out more abou ay. hd rt g its 60th bi now approachin

Eurovision takes place PO UI .BZ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss it!

Uncle t!

Engel ber 60 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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THE DON INVESTIGATES…

What’s it all about then?

It’s a simple enough premise. A group of nations getting together once a year and, in a spirit of togetherness, perform a song that reflects their land, their people, their outlook on life, culture and history. The most popular song at the end of the show is declared the winner!

Political voting

Can it get any worse?

In recent years there have been signs that some nations are prone to voting for their mates across the border, regardless of the songs quality. These alleged voting ‘blocs’ involve certain countries forming little cliques that all look out for one another. Thus Cyprus and Greece always give each other top marks, ditto Turkey and Azerbaijan; Belgium and the Netherlands etc. Crucially, no one ever votes for the UK – apart from, on occasion, Ireland and Malta.

Yes it can. Jemini, a boy/girl duo swept into the 2003 contest as one of the favourites. They had all the right credentials – from Liverpool, looked good, sounded good and had been voted as our representatives by the whole of the UK. Easy.

They came last, failing to score any points in doing so.

But it wasn’t always that way?

Oh no. When the contest began in 1956 the 14 competing countries had no such dark motives, it was all about the song. The problem is, the voting was done in secret and no-one knew who voted for who or how many points they gave them – hardly open and democratic but there you go! Amazingly, the details of the voting remain a closely guarded secret to this day.

There must have been worse songs?

Hmm...in 2004, Switzerland’s entry, Piero And His Music Stars (the name should have been a warning) was a mish-mash of poppy nonsense with sugary lyrics that would have induced projectile vomiting, including the toe curling “...tomorrow you can get deep with me...we can talk about philosophy”. Quite. But appalling, lyrics aren’t the main thing. Spain won in 1968 with a song that was merely the lyric “la” sung over and over again.

Are we any good?

The sheer desperation of Britain’s decision to recruit Engelbert Humperdinck as their entrant for the 2012 should indicate how appallingly we have done in recent years. We’ve tried the lot – sexy boy bands; sensuous women and boppy-poppy mixes of the two (a’la Bucks Fizz who won in 1981) but with a bit of street cred and attitude. All have spectacularly flopped, including boy band Blue who entered last year – finishing 11th.

But there was worse. Ireland entered the terror twins from Hell, Jedward – and they came 8th!

Beaten by Jedward.

Not good for your career then?

Many have crashed and burned, never to be seen again. Probably a good thing. However, Abba won it in 1974 and they haven’t done too badly since, while Celine Dion entered for Switzerland as long ago as 1988 – and won!

Who’s the daddy?

Ireland have won it seven times – three times running from 1992–1994.

Rumour has it that they deliberately chose a bad song for 1995 to sabotage their own chance of winning, thus saving on the enormous costs of having to be the following years host nation, the ‘prize’ for the winners!

Got any euro trivia?

Well, most nations sing in English.

Except France who (and rightly, I feel) performed in French, until 2008 when their contestant, Sebastien Tellier, elected to sing in English...provoking outrage in the French Parliament. His reason for doing so was, as he explained; “...to explain the vision of French people of sexuality and of life and so, to be understood, I need to sing in English...”

Top tips for 2012? ears Las t y

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

t rant, UK En

‘Blue’

base s a huge fan Engelbert ha ct a top pe ex Europe – throughout on’s tip, D he T .

K r the U five finish fo a song Sweden with however, is . ria’ by Loreen called ‘Eupho

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

61

WRITTEN BY CHRIS MORLEY

JUMPERS FOR GOALPOSTS!

One of the most prestigious events on the sporting calendar comes to Wembley once again later this month as the FA Cup Final rolls in as a mouth-watering appetiser before the end of the Premier and Football League seasons. So, slump on the sofa, grab yourself a beer and try not to give your television the boot as we take you through the glorious history of the competition, from White Horses to the present day.

62 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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JUMPERS FOR GOALPOSTS!

ON OUR WAY TO WEMBLEY

The Football Association Challenge Cup (to give it its full name) final has been played at Wembley since 1923, save for a brief switch to Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium while the ‘new’ Wembley was being built. Though many have tried to join him in the pantheon, to date the only player to grab himself a hat-trick at arguably football’s most famous stomping ground was Stan Mortensen of Blackpool in the 1953 ‘Matthews Final’, as the Tangerines beat Bolton Wanderers 4–3, having been 3–1 down.

The quickest goal ever scored in a Final was a strike within a mindblowing 27.9 seconds by Louis Saha of Everton (who has since moved on to Tottenham Hotspur) in the final of 2009 as the Toffees went on to lose to Chelsea-Bury’s 6–0 thrashing of Derby County in the 1903 showpiece remains to this day the largest margin of victory in a Final.

MY LOVELY HORSE

THE STADIUM The ‘new’ Wembley has a capacity of 90,000 seats, and is one of the most expensive venues ever built, at a total cost of £798 million – its official opening happened on the day of the 2007 Final between Chelsea and Manchester United, a statue of England’s 1966 World Cup hero and captain Bobby Moore being unveiled to the public on 11 May that year. As well as most major football events, the venue plays host to athletics meetings, American football and various music concerts, and is planned to be used as part of the 2012 Olympics and 2015 Rugby World Cup. Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

Perhaps the most famous reminder of the ‘old’ Wembley is the 1923 ‘White Horse Final’ – thanks to PC George Scorey and his horse (actually grey, though newsreel footage of the occasion makes him appear white, Billy, who were called in to help deal with an overflow of supporters before the big clash between Bolton Wanderers and West Ham United, also notable for being the first event to take place at the ‘old’ stadium, a mass advertising campaign to attract fans going horribly wrong as a large throng threatened the safety of the venue, the gates opened a mammoth three and a half hours before the scheduled 3pm kick-off, fans getting restless until the arrival of King George V (who attended to present the trophy to the winners), a quick chorus of God Save The King seemingly enough to calm everybody down and Bolton going on to win 2–0 with goals from David Jack and Jack Smith.

With the semi-finals soon to be played, also at Wembley – Liverpool vs Everton or Sunderland and Tottenham Hotspur or Bolton Wanderers vs Chelsea, it remains to be seen what will go down this year, but as ever it promises to be a spectacle, from the traditional opening blast of Abide With Me to the final whistle.

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

63

BOOK WORMS

MUM’S LIST ST JOHN GREENE

courtesy of waterstone’s Portsmouth WRITTEN BY WATERSTONE’S PORTSMOUTH

When Kate Greene is told her cancer is terminal, she spent her remaining time writing a list along with her husband Singe. The list contained all the things that she wanted Singe and their two boys to do after she was gone, from simple things such as kissing the boys before they go to bed, to taking them to an international rugby game and scuba diving in Belize. In doing so she gave her family something to strive for in the darkest days after her death. A very moving book but ultimately one that demonstrates the human will to survive.

CALL THE MIDWIFE JENNIFER WORTH If you were a fan of the TV series then read the book that inspired it.

This is social history at its very best.

Worth retells her experience of life delivering babies in the East End of London in the 1950’s and has some very emotional, happy and colourful tales to tell. She writes in a vivid style that is easily accessible and paints an excellent picture of a bygone era.

EMPIRE JEREMY PAXMAN THE PSYCHOPATH TEST JON RONSON HOW TO BE A WOMAN CAITLIN MORAN It’s generally accepted that, in terms of gender rights we live in a much more equal society than we did 30 years ago. Or do we? Caitlin Moran argues, with her typical enthusiasm and humour that this is not necessarily the case. She relates stories for her own life as well as asking questions like: why are pants getting smaller…?

This book is hilarious and a must read for anyone, male or female.

64 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

Ever thought that that person you live/work with might be a psychopath? Ronson’s book will help you out. His journey takes the reader through the minefield of psychopath detection discovering potential candidates as diverse as big heads of companies to deluded conspiracy theorists. Ronson tackles his subject with his usual slightly self effacing humour but does highlight some interesting issues within the field of personality disorders. Using Bob Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist you will definitely become familiar with many aspects of the condition…just don’t try diagnosing everyone around you!

Jeremy Paxman has written a few historical books over the last 10–15 years (On Royalty, The English, The Political Animal). His latest foray into the historical is Empire and it is just as good as his others. The influence of the British Empire is in almost everything we see and do, from a lot of the food that we eat to the buildings that are in our town and city centres. Paxman gives a varied account of the history of the Empire, encompassing things like selection for colonial office, the domestic life of the colonial family and the dissent amongst the colonists themselves that led to the end of The British Empire. This is the perfect introduction to the subject or those just brushing up on their knowledge.

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s R E g n ! i d s E nt a w

auditions coming soon

aud com itions PoR ing to tsm o 2nd utH sEPt EmB ER

O M PE TI TI O N C C SI U M AL N IO AT N E TH ARTI STS FO R SI N G ER S AN D SO LO

OOH-ARRH ME-HEARTY!

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

5IF USBEJUJPOBM JNBHF PG B 1JSBUF IBT MPOH CFFO UIBU PG B TMJHIUMZ DPNJDBM ÂŞHVSF CMBDL PG CFBSE QBSSPU VQPO UIF TIPVMEFS BOE QJFDFT PG FJHIU JO IJT QPDLFU "OE XJUI +PIOOZ %FQQ¤T IBNNZ JOUFSQSFUBUJPO JO UIF 1JSBUFT PG UIF $BSJCCFBO ÂŞMNT UIFZ¤SF OPX TFFO BT CFJOH SFMFOUMFTTMZ IBOETPNF DBET B NJTDIJFWPVT GVO MPWJOH SPHVF PG UIF TFB 5IF SFBMJUZ PG DPVSTF XBT TPNFXIBU EJGGFSFOU Â&#x; POF &EXBSE 5FBDI BLB #MBDLCFBSE XPVME SPVUJOFMZ IBWF B DBQUVSFE TIJQ¤T DSFX TMBVHIUFSFE PS JG IF XBT JO B HPPE NPPE ÂŁNFSFMZ¤ NBSPPO UIFN PO BO VODIBSUFSFE JTMBOE XJUIPVU GPPE BOE XBUFS But men such as Teach and his grisly ways are far from being events from distant history. In these days of free trade across the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oceans, piracy has become a growth industry, one which Mayhem!, fearful of a plank walking, now investigates...

WHATS HAPPENING? The term Piracy refers to an act of robbery or criminal violence at sea â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and, distinctly, does not refer to said crimes being carried out by a person who is on the same vessel as his or her victims. Modern pirates favour â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;hit and runâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; attacks on merchant vessels which usually have a small crew and thus offer little resistance.

WHERE? Most present day acts of piracy take place in the Red Sea and Indian Ocean, as well as in the Strait of Malacca and the waters off Singapore.

The latter is one of the busiest ports in the world so ships making their way to and from its harbour are obvious targets â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and that can be up to 50,000 commercial ships a year!

66 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

FOR WHAT? Modern day treasure chests are not usually the cargoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of these vessels â&#x20AC;&#x201C; what would you do with 15,000 oil filters? Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pirates target the personal belongings of the crew and the ships safe â&#x20AC;&#x201C; usually awash with the cash needed to pay crew wages and high port fees. In some cases the crew are either removed or taken hostage with the entire ship commandeered, sailed to another port, repainted and sold under a new identity!

IS IT SAFE TO GO ON A CRUISE? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not guaranteed â&#x20AC;&#x201C; especially if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sailing in one of those areas which has been prone to attacks. Modern pirates see a cruise ships as fat, slow and defenceless targets, occupied by equally fat and slow but cash rich passengers in their hundreds.

One luxury liner, the Seabourn Spirit was attacked by pirates PĂŠ UIF 4PNBMJBO DPBTU JO XIJMTU JO UIF 'SFODI MVYVSZ yacht Le Ponant was captured by Somali pirates who demanded (and got) a ransom for its crew of :PV DBO U FWFO SFHBSE ZPVSTFMG as safe if you head for chillier climes â&#x20AC;&#x201C; attacks on ships in the Baltic are increasing.

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OOH-ARRH ME-HEARTY!

Recording studio & Rehearsal room

HOW CAN ATTACKS BE AVOIDED? Clearly the Queen Mary isn’t going to leave Southampton any time soon for a world cruise with both crew and passengers armed to the teeth. The most frequent piece of advice given to passenger and freight vessels that are sailing in waters where attacks have been recorded is, astonishingly, ‘try to avoid them’. Whether they want to avoid you is another matter.

Introducing Klavar Studio, Recording, Production and Mix Studios in Paulsgrove. Offering a range of services including recording, music production, mixing and mastering, Klavar Studio can tailor make packages to satisfy any of your audio needs.

With a fully functional live room and control room.

The studio is available every day 9am–10pm. We offer FREE advice for anyone interested in music in any way pop in anytime.

Studio hire general enquiries: Tony Merritt: 07964209983 Info@klavarstudio.com

www.klavarstudio.com

WHAT’S BEING DONE? Current wisdom suggest ensuring a ship looks as if encountering it would be too difficult in the first place which is all very well – because it will only lead to groups of increasingly frustrated men all ganging up on the one vessel that hasn’t covered its hull with anti-climb paint or netting that prevents boarding. In British controlled waters, capture and arrest of suspected pirates is widely discouraged as those detained would then be able to claim asylum and take up residence in the country under current Human Rights legislation – the end result is usually the Royal Navy firing a few wayward shots, hoping to force them back into international waters.

SPINNING AN ECLECTIC MIX OF GENRE BENDING, GENDER CLASHING MUSIC:

HIP HOP//INDIE//POP//ELECTRO.

MAYHEMMAGAZINE.CO.UK COMMUNITY-FUSION.ORG SOUTHSEAFASHIONWEEK.CO.UK SOUTHSEAFASHIONWEEK SSFW2012

A CHAT WITH…

om an d coming band fr Law son are an up ly nt e UK . They rece all corn ers of th rk on their own are about to em ba m! catches up wit h he r… headline tour . May it ’s all going so fa w ho e se to the guys

INTERVIEWED BY TORY NAIRN

68 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

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A CHAT WITHâ&#x20AC;Ś

Check out our website for even more... www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

MAY 2012 | MAYHEM!

69

A CHAT WITH…

Andy you’re from Liverpool, Nottingham and Adam, you come from Brighton. There’s a lot of mileage between your home towns. Can you tell us how you found one another?

Andy Via the world wide web actually. I’d been posting videos of me singing on Youtube for a while and linking them back to my Myspace page.

Adam I saw Andy’s Myspace page, sent him a message asking if he ever wanted to start a band and if he needed a drummer to give me a call. I waited for absolutely ages for him to get back to me but he eventually did and we arranged a rehearsal in London.

Joel I’d known Andy from seeing him about on the music scene for a while so he asked me to come along, I’d been going to music college with Ryan too so brought him along …

Ryan And Lawson was born!

70 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

Where did the bands name, Lawson, come from?

Andy I was diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years back and as result had to have an 18 hour operation which was pretty scary. It was life saving really and the surgeon who performed the operation that day was a guy called Dr Lawson.

Joel We dropped the ‘Dr’ bit at the risk of not wanting to sound like a German Techno band!

Would you call yourselves a typical boy band? What makes you unique compared to other bands like you?

Adam We’re quite often called a ‘boy band’ but actually I think we’re much more similar to bands such as Maroon 5, The Script etc. The boy band tag is fine but hopefully over time people will see that we are a live instrument playing band who do write our own music etc.

Andy Everything we sing is about our true life experiences and there’s not many bands who can say that.

What would you say to people who think ‘Oh it ’s just another boy band.’ ?

Ryan Again, it’s fine. Everyone at first will draw their comparisons and it’s human nature to feel the need to label something – “she’s the next this” or “he’s a cross between this and that,” “they’re a bit like.” We just hope that people enjoy the music and the gigs they see us play at and hopefully over time will people see what we’re all about. your debut album. What was your favourite part of the music making process?

Andy We love being in the studio and we were lucky enough to record the majority of this record in LA which was a dream come true. Seeing how a song you’ve written in your bedroom years ago comes to life in a studio where music legends like Janis Joplin and Michael Jackson have recorded was amazing.

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A CHAT WITH… How do you write your songs?

Andy Every song is different. Some start with a lyric idea, others might be based around a particular guitar riff. I even wrote a song one time over something silly Ryan said in the van one day. He was like “I love love” and let out a big sigh. It made me laugh and so I wrote a tune called Taking Over Me about it.

Where do you draw your inspiration from?

Andy True life. Ex girlfriends, our dealings with relationships, current relationships – many things. But all of it is true life. Even if I write a song about being drunk in a club it literally is about me being drunk in a club. There’s a line from our single When She Was Mine which goes “fall out, out on the street, street light, light up for me …” which is about me falling out of a bar one night after I’d split up from my ex.

Wanted on their tour. Can you talk us through the highs and lows?

Adam There were no low points!

Being on tour is amazing from start to finish. Getting to the venue, playing the shows, travelling to the next city – it’s all great.

Ryan Sound checks can be a bit stressful sometimes depending on how much time you get, but that’s the only real downer.

Joel We pulled two people out of the crowd on each show we did with The Wanted and took them backstage to hang out. That was always a real laugh.

You’ve played alongside Will Young and Avril Lavigne. What ’s your dream line up?

Andy We’re playing some great shows later this year – T In The Park, V hopefully and some other festivals too all going well. There’s gonna be tonnes of bands on those that we admire – Snow Patrol, Calvin Harris, Temper Trap etc. We’ll be the ones hanging out backstage trying to look cool but failing hopelessly! www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

Your fan base is literally climbing by the second, how important has social media been to your rise to fame?

Joel We wouldn’t have a record deal without it. We only really started getting serious labels interest after we posted covers on Youtube and then everything spiralled from there. Twitter has been great too as it obviously gives you a direct outlet to talk to fans, tell them about gigs and stuff and generally make everyone feel really part of it.

Ryan you’ve been nicknamed, Ryan ‘ The Rhino’ Fletcher, where did that come from? Any other nicknames within the band?

Ryan It’s over my love for horned animals. It was a toss-up between Rhino or Elephant.

Adam Our nicknames are a little un-inspired – Andy is nicknamed ‘Brown.’ Over his last name and not his love of chocolate. And mine is ‘Ads.’ Joel Over his love of mathematics.

You ’ ve done some awesome covers of artists like Lady GaGa, Katy Perry and Ed Sheeran, what makes a good cover song? Who else would you like to cover?

Andy We love doing a cover provided we can put a different spin on it – The Ga Ga one was obviously stopped back and almost country in it’s feel and the Ed Sheeran one we tried to put a bit of a Mumford and Sons spin on it. No point doing a cover if you can’t do it justice or differently!

On the Wanted tour you played to your own four home towns, is it comforting to play to a home crowd or is there more pressure?

Ryan They’re definitely a little more nerve racking as you’ll often have family in on those ones so you want to try that tiny bit harder to make the ‘ol parentals proud!

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A CHAT WITH…

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72 MAYHEM! | MAY 2012

How do your headline shows compare to the larger concert crowds?

Adam They’re both great – arena shows are fun cause obviously the scale and amount of people there is so much bigger, but often they can be difficult as the crowd aren’t there to see you really. But headline shows are always amazing cause often they know the words to the songs and really get involved.

Andy It always blows our minds when people are singing back lyrics that you’ve written.

You’re supporting later in the year. What was your initial reaction when they asked you?

Joel We hung out with Mark and Shane at the Oxegen Music Festival in Dublin last year and they were great guys – Mark especially. He’s been sound at giving us advice and championing us on Twitter etc.

Ryan The shows we play with them are going to be their final FINAL ever shows so the atmosphere is gonna be crazy no doubt.

Andy 100,000 people at Croke Park! Aaaaagh!

Where do you see Lawson in a year from now?

Andy Maybe it might be a bit hopeful to think that we’ll be playing to 100,000 people in a years time, but if we can do it in 10 then we’ll be happy. We’ll see…

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BATTLESHIP A lot has been said about Hollywood scraping the barrel by basing an alien invasion movie on an alien-free children’s board game. That criticism aside, Battleship looks set to deliver in the special effects, and Rihanna-in-a-uniform departments. Here at Mayhem!, we’re not complaining.

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Cinema goers fall into two camps: you either love or hate Sacha Baron Cohen’s edgy, in-your-face brand of humour. The Dictator shows a return to scripted comedy, which Cohen previously used in Ali G Indahouse as opposed to the ambush, Trigger Happy TV style of comedy he utilised in his last two releases.

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