Mayhem! Magazine Issue 34

ISSUE 34

The best sailors in the world, the fastest boats…

Watch the excitement, join the action – 21–24 July 2016 Tickets on sale now: www.lvacwsportsmouth.com CELEBS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FAShION | CULTURE | FOOD | hUMOUR

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Happy New Year!

Before the new year kicks off we take a look back at the highlights of 2015 and get into the Christmas spirit with boozy eggnog and cigars.

We meet chart-topping pop sensation Ellie Goulding as she celebrates the release of her new album, ‘‘Delirium’, and chat with funny guy Ed Byrne ahead of his show at the Portsmouth Guildhall; plus a catch up with author Emily Benet on the state of social media and blogging.

Take our short survey and WIN You can be entered into a draw to win an iPod touch simply by completing our short survey. We want to know why you love Mayhem! so much and how we can make it even better.

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SCAN ME

Be sure to lock your doors this winter! We’re here with top tips on how to avoid a nasty new year surprise with burglaries at a high this time of year.

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There are loads of ways to join the lively Mayhem! network. Let us know what you’re thinking.

Email us: hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk

We’ve got ideas on how to make use of those Christmas leftovers and offer advice on how do rekindle the love for when the clock strikes midnight. There’s loads more as usual, so pour a mulled wine and relax with Mayhem!

Find us on Facebook at: /themayhemmagazine Follow and Tweet us: @mayhemmag

Checkout our online archive!

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Daniel Tidbury | Editor-in-chief

www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk 08 2015 Headlines 10 blast from the past 12 Perfect pets 14 tweet this!

18 bag for life 20 Party perfect

22 Lost libido?

24 Love game 26 Mobile manners 28 Cigars of the world 30 ed byrne, funny man chats 32 Larder louts

@ @mayhemmag Meet the team… editor-in-chief Daniel tidbury intern Alex bee contributing writers Alex bee, tamsyn Howard, Laura ward, Sara niven, Graham brown, Veronica Lee, Hannah birkbeck, Fiona Stanton, Ken Summit

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MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

social Media Lawrence Patrick Advertising sales Jo turner design & Marketing tidbury Media distribution Distribution experts Published by

34 benefits of biking 38 ellie Goulding 40 eggnog?

42 be my guest 44 Sledding in style 46 burglary battle

the mayhem magazine

Mayhem! is a free lifestyle magazine dedicated to keeping you up to date with the latest culture, trends, fashions and celebs. Our bi-monthly instalments are available to pick up from the countless distribution points scattered across Portsmouth and its surrounding areas.

Contact us…

023 9229 4408 hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk

© Copyright 2015 All rights reserved tidbury Media

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written by Alex Bee

in the news

a round up of 2015 news and events

HEADLINES Obviously we’re all gutted to not be swooshing around on hover boards like Robert Zemeckis promised we would be when he made Back To The Future. However, the human race can be thankful that the Mayans were wrong and we’ve surpassed their predictions of the apocalypse by three whole years. Go us! Doomsday and sci-fi movies aside, 2015 has been nothing short of epic. As the leaves that shaded us during a surprisingly decent British summer fall off the trees and the launch of the X Factor signals the official descent into the winter months, we take a look back at what everyone was going on about in 2015.

SPORT In sport we rejoiced as England won The Ashes and mourned the loss of Jonah Lomu, one of the greatest rugby legends of all time. We took a second look at our athletic heroes as doping allegations hit Mo Farah, Chris Froome and Paula Radcliffe. All eyes turned to Las Vegas as Floyd Mayweather took on Manny Pacquiao in the biggest boxing match of the year. Ronaldo became top goal scorer for Real Madrid of all time.

NEWS

FASHION Everyone wore trainers with everything, except to Cannes Film Festival where flats were controversially banned on the red carpet. Jamie Brewer became the first model with Down’s Syndrome to walk down the runway at New York Fashion Week and Rihanna wore a giant tea cosy to the Grammys.

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MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

Opinions were split over the Conservative party election win but the UK breathed a collective sigh of relief when UKIP only won one seat and Nigel Farage stepped down as leader of the party. We got a princess!

British politicians took it to another level when Boris Johnson was seen rugby tackling a child during a visit to Japan and David Cameron faced allegations of getting ‘piggy with it’ in his university days. Poacher poaching became a serious activity after photos of hunters posing with their endangered trophies caused outrage on social media.

Reports of Syrian refugees fleeing from their country in dangerously overcrowded boats worried the nation.

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in the news

CELEBRITY We put our head in our hands when Jedward met Obama and rolled our eyes as photos of ‘little Bieber’ emerged while Justin was on holiday in Bora Bora. We met Caitlyn Jenner, father of the Kardashian clan and formerly known as Bruce Jenner. Everyone wasn’t sure whether Madonna’s BRIT awards incident or the Tweets that followed were more entertaining. We said goodbye to Cilla Black.

ENTERTAINMENT

TECHNOLOGY

Cinema audiences sobbed at the end of Fast and Furious 7 after Paul Walker’s tragic death. Nadjia won the Great British Bake Off and we cringed watching contestants cook baby turtles on Bear Grylls: The Island. Everyone wanted a pet raptor after Jurassic World and The 50 Shades Of Grey movie managed to get criticism for NOT showing enough sex.

Fans of Orange Is The New Black enjoyed their latest fix of the programme as a new, shocking series came to Netflix. We reminisced and dug out our boxsets of the 1990s classic sitcom, when it was announced that an Absolutely Fabulous film was going into production.

Selfie sticks became old news and we said hello to the hideous contraption of the selfie shoe. Back To The Future self-lacing shoes became a real thing! The iPhone 6s and Apple pen caused a stir but the invention of the power bar means that running out of phone battery is no longer a thing.

MUSIC FOOD/DRINK Everyone drank Aperol Spritz – whether we really enjoyed it was another question. Someone decided to put avocado on everything – on toast, in brownies or deep fried and served as chips – you name it, it was avo’d in 2015.

Glastonbury fans were distraught as Foo Fighters pulled out of the festival after Dave Growl broke his leg and One Directioners freaked out when Zayn left the band. Shia Le Bouf left us confused once again after his Just Do It video and we continued to give in to Taylor Swift’s world domination plot as she released Bad Blood.

CULTURE Everyone started and then almost immediately stopped saying ‘bae.’ We all hit the 1990s pretty hard. Bradley Cooper dazzled audiences as The Elephant Man on the West End and art fans flocked to Weston Super Mare to see Banksy’s ‘Dismaland.’

MAYhEMMAG |

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winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

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BlAst FroM the PAst!

CHILD STARS …then and now!

We all know time flies and the years just melt away, but what happened to the stars of the TV programs and films we loved? Some went on to bigger better things, and the others…

10 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

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written by tAMsYn howArd

FUr, FeAther And Fin

perfeCt

PETS

A pet is a great way for a child to learn about responsibility, but it can sometimes be difficult to decide what to get. ideally, you want something that’s easy to take care of and safe for both child and pet. Here are a few ideas to make choosing the newest addition to the household that little bit easier.

NIBBLERS Rodents are usually the fi rst choice when it comes to pets for young children and you’re probably no stranger to your options. Mice, rats, rabbits, hamsters, gerbils and guinea pigs can all be taken care of with relative ease and most pet shops sell starter kits for them, saving you time and money. It’s still worth doing your homework though; most shops will only sell mice, guinea pigs and gerbils in pairs so if you’re looking for just one pet, it’s best to go for a rabbit, Syrian hamster or rat instead.

TWEETERS Birds are fascinating creatures and another good choice for a first pet. Although they look stunning, the brightly coloured Macaw parrot is probably not the best option. Go for a small bird such as a budgie or canary. Finches may also be tempting, but these birds are suited to the outside rather than an indoor cage.

SWIMMERS Probably the easiest pets to take care of, fish are interesting to watch, easy to feed and, providing the tank has an adequate fi lter, hardly need cleaning out at all.

You’re probably thinking goldfish, but there are other options. Tropical fish such as tetras, guppies and danios are also a good choice, although they do require a little more set up than your average goldie. For these fish you’ll need a tank with a fi lter, light and a small heater. You’ll also need to keep the tank at a constant 22 degrees, but once it’s all set up your child will enjoy watching all the different coloured fish swim around in their shoals.

12 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

EXOTICS If you’re looking for something a little more out of the ordinary, consider something reptilian. Corn snakes, milk snakes and iguanas are good starter reptiles and, although they require a good amount of set up (you will need a big enough vivarium, heat mats/ lamps, hides etc.), they can make very rewarding pets.

If you’re thinking of a snake, corn and milk snakes are the best options; they grow to a maximum of 5ft and, once they’re adult, only need feeding once a week or so. however, make sure that neither you nor your child is squeamish before getting a pet snake; they eat mice which can be purchased frozen from most pet stores and need to be defrosted before feeding.

By the same token, young iguanas eat insects until they reach adolescence (at which point they become vegetarian), so if you have any qualms about bugs or dead things, reptiles might not be a good choice after all.

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Meet the Blogger Behind the Book…

14 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

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Meet the Blogger Behind the Book…

TWEET THIS! we sit down with emily Benet, author of #pleaseretweet, a new title all about social media site, twitter, to discuss her new novel as well as her unconventional route to becoming a published author.

When did you first start writing?

I wrote my fi rst novel at the age of 11.

It was called Dandelion Abbey and featured heroic field mice. It was a complete rip off of the Red Wall Series, the books I was reading at the time.

I also started keeping a diary around that age.

What difference has social media made to your life?

A huge difference! My first book began as a weekly blog about working in my Mum’s chandelier shop. After a bit of Facebook spamming, it was spotted

by Salt publishing and commissioned as a book called, Shop Girl Diaries. My next book became successful after I posted it on the online platform, Wattpad, which led me to signing with an agent and getting a book deal with harper Collins. I’ve been invited to talk at universities and literary festivals about social media, and now I’ve written a novel about social media addiction.

“Sometimes I wonder where I’d have got to if I’d never set my virtual foot online!”

Have you had any negative experiences because of social media?

Very few, thankfully. I had someone send me a nasty message on Facebook about my blog once.

Not bad when you’ve been blogging for over seven years!

MAYhEMMAG |

What do you think are the risks of an excessive ‘online’ life?

1) Wasting time: getting distracted by videos of kittens instead of achieving your goals.

2) Emotional exhaustion: caring more that people ‘like’ what you’re doing than enjoying what you’re doing.

3) Aches and pains: Sore eyes from too much screen time and a sore fi nger from too much scrolling.

Do you think people have altered their behaviour because of social media?

I think it’s more a case of living the same life but glamourising it online.

There are also the people that meet up and spend the whole time on their phones and not actually talk to each other. That wouldn’t have happened ten years ago.

How important do you think it is to have a social media detox? Is your novel telling readers to disconnect?

I think taking a social media detox puts you back in control. The novel is suggesting readers should take a time-out and have a look at how social media makes them feel. Does the way they use it enhance their life or leave them feeling drained?

Do you think the perks of Twitter or Facebook outweigh their bad points?

I think so... I’m having trouble remembering what life was like before Facebook and Twitter!

Have you had any experience with trolls or trolling? What advice would you give to someone who is experiencing the ‘nasty’ side of social media?

I had someone swear at me on Twitter out of the blue. Another person signed up to Amazon only to leave one star reviews of my books – and not review anything else. If people are directing abuse at you, block them. If people are expressing negative views about something you’ve done but aren’t insulting you, thank them for their comments and then get on with your life.

What makes social media so addictive?

Getting ‘likes’ and ‘retweets’ gives you a little high because it’s a sign of approval. It’s a sign people think what you say is funny or clever. The problem is the high doesn’t last very long so you keep chasing it by posting more. When your happiness is dependent on whether people are approving of your online activity or not, then it becomes a problem and can lead to anxiety and depression, which of course needs to be treated.

ThEMAYhEMMAGAZINE | MAYheMMAgAzine.co.Uk

winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

15

Meet the Blogger Behind the Book…

“I meditate every morning for 20 minutes and read a chunk of ‘Stillness Speaks’ by eckhart Tolle.”

Can friendships/relationships ever be as fulfilling online as they are offline?

I don’t know about romantic relationships – it defi nitely doesn’t sound much fun only interacting online! But I do have two friends who I met through Twitter and who I keep in touch with via Whatsapp and Email. We have only met about three times in real life, but I think it’s the meeting in real life that has made it more meaningful... and the fact we all share a passion for writing!

Selfies – All ego or modern art form?

I think it’s people wanting to feel like celebrities. Watching people taking selfies for ages, particularly with a selfie-stick, makes me cringe. It’s just the same photo over and over with a pointless background. Just ask someone to take your photo for you!

I recently came across a Wikipedia page on injuries caused by selfiesticks. It would be wrong to say it made my day, wouldn’t it? So I won’t say it.

16 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

What are your biggest social media no-nos?

1) Automated Direct Messages 2) Instagram accounts purely made up of selfies.

3) When people only self-promote 4) Ambiguous Facebook status 5) #when #people #hashtag #every #single #word What more could be done to reinvigorate people’s passion for reading?

I think interactive books read on smartphones will become more mainstream, which will help reading seem more ‘cool’.

What do you think makes us so obsessed with celebrity?

It’s a funny one. I’ve never been much of a ‘fan girl’. I suppose we’re attracted to the glamour of it all. It offers some kind of escapism. Everyone loves a rags to riches story, don’t they?

Why did you leave London?

You need half a million pounds just to afford to live in a shoe box. A shoe box that isn’t even in a nice area. Also, the weather. I was always cold!

Have you always felt comfortable sharing your life with an audience?

I’ve been blogging for seven years.

I’m a very open person and always have been. That said, I think I feel less comfortable about sharing my personal life online now than I did at the age of 24.

What do you do to keep yourself sane and centred?

I meditate every morning for 20 minutes and read a chunk of ‘Stillness Speaks’ by Eckhart Tolle.

Would you ever self publish a book again?

If I don’t fi nd a publisher for my next book, then why not?

What plans do you have for the future?

A lot more writing...

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Email: daniel@tidburymedia.com

We’re passionate about you and the stories you have to tell

Protect oUr PlAnet

BAG FOR LIFE written By lAUrA wArd

england has finally joined the rest of the uk with the not so new 5p bag charge. Mayhem! debates whether the charge really working and if there is an alternative…

Since the 5th October 2015, shoppers in England have been expected to pay 5p for every new bag they use. The charge would only apply to stores or chains with 250 or more full-time employees with the proceedings going towards different charities. But is this really the way to reduce the number of plastic bags being used?

In 2014 the reported number of bags being used was a whopping 7.64 billion, just 200 million bags more than 2013. Campaigners argue that carrier bags ruin the streets, spoil the countryside and damage wildlife seas and coastline. The new bag charge has seen a variety of reactions. It’s important to mention that the proceedings get donated to 18 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

good causes. The government are hoping to see an 80% reduction following the success in other parts of the UK. The Welsh government reported people using their own bags rather than buying increasing up to 80%. So has it really worked?

Since the introduction of the bag charge social media has been going crazy and quite a few people have found a way to avoid the bag charge.

It’s been witnessed that many shoppers have decided that instead of spending 5p per bag that they instead took home the entire trolley for just £1. This just being the small minority as 62% of people said it was reasonable.

If you’re buying certain types of products, retailers are still able to offer you a free bag. these include: • Uncooked fish, meat and poultry • Unwrapped food, or food sold in containers that could leak • Unwrapped loose seeds and flowers • Unwrapped blades • Live fish • Prescription medicine • Bags at airports, trains, planes or on ships.

Although there is a catch: if you add products that are not listed above into the same bag as an item that is listed, then you will have to pay.

and issues with recycling, shouldn’t there be an alternative?

Just because you now get charged for a bag doesn’t mean they will stop getting used altogether.

We all have a responsibility to take care of the planet we inhabit, albeit for such a short time, and the creatures we share it with. Unless we take action now it’s our future generations that will suffer.

With the plastic bag being a problem to not only the environment, wildlife

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PARTY

written by sArA niven

For the girls…

PERFECT (even wItH a HanGover…) too many late nights and overdoing the alcohol can leave us feeling tired and jaded. But with a few sensible precautions and the right products you can still look party perfect with Mayhem!

Make tired skin look radiant with Clinique’s new Beyond Perfecting Powder Foundation + Concealer. This two in one powder foundation and concealer is a doddle to apply, gives great coverage and comes in a handy compact for touch ups during the party. £27.00, www.clinique.co.uk Let your eyes do the talking with Jane Iredale’s new In the Blink of a Smoky Eye Kit which contains a fab selection of eight high quality shadows – be as adventurous as you dare but if your eyes look really tired the lightest shade is brilliant for brightening up the whole area. £45, www.janeiredale.co.uk Benefit Cosmetics Life of the Party is a super cute tin containing virtually everything you need to create a party perfect face including a fantastic pore diminishing primer, lengthening mascara, their best selling lip and cheek tint, eyeshadows, brightening face powder and more. £29, www.benefitcosmetics.co.uk

20 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

HOW TO SURVIVE PARTY SEASON: • Do take your make up off before falling into bed – however shattered (or tipsy).

Sleeping with a full face of slap won’t do skin any favours. Wet wipes aren’t that effective on heavy make up – melt it away with a balm cleanser and remove with a warm flannel.

• Do drink a glass of water last thing at night and keep one by the bed to help combat the dehydrating effect of alcohol. Your head and skin will thank you in the morning!

• Don’t plaster on heavy eye make up if your eyes look as though they should be propped up with matchsticks. Instead use a decent under eye concealer and emphasise lips instead.

• Don’t expect miracles!

If you’ve been out until the small hours umpteen nights on the trot, even the best products have their limits. If you’re really keen to shine at a big event try to get at least one decent night’s sleep and booze free day beforehand.

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For the girls…

INSTANT PERK UP If you’re completely on your last legs but just can’t cancel a night out, besides a strong cup of coffee, we highly recommend showering with Clarins’ gorgeous Tonic Bath &

Shower Concentrate or Refresher Shower Jelly from Lush. Then wake up your face with Superdrug’s exfoliating ice blast gel mask if there’s time or a sweep of Neal’s Yard

Remedies fabulous Rejuvenating Frankincense Toner if not! For tired legs and feet Clarins Energizing Emulsion works wonders to ensure you feel up to dancing.

Clarins Tonic Bath & Shower Concentrate, £20 Clarins Energizing Emulsion, £26 Neal’s Yard Remedies Rejuvenating Frankincense Toner, £20 Lush Refresher Shower Jelly, £3.73 Superdrug’s exfoliating ice blast gel mask, 99p

rekindle the roMAnce

LOST

LIBIDO FinD yOuR MOJO YOU ARE WHAT with the grey YOU EAT

written by tAMsYn howArd

winter skies rolling in and perhaps a few too many roast dinners under your belt, it’s not unusual to feel sluggish and underwhelmed.

Here’s how to boost your energy and avoid any love-life slumps this winter!

22 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

There’s defi nitely some truth in this idiom; fatty foods will make you feel sluggish and sweets lead to an energy slump when the sugar leaves your system.

It’s ok to indulge, but the more fruit, vegetables and pulses you eat, the more refreshed you’ll feel. If this still isn’t enough you can look for everyday aphrodisiacs such as chocolate, strawberries, almonds and garlic.

CHANGE OF SCENE Take advantage of the post school holiday price dips and get away, just the two of you. Never underestimate the power of a crackling fi replace and a change of scenery to get in the mood.

If you can’t stretch to a short break away, why not try something closer to home? A walk hand-inhand in the crisp frosty air is sure to blow the cobwebs away and it’s a good excuse to snuggle up all warm and cosy afterwards.

If it’s magic you’re after, look out for Christmas fayres or winter festivals near you. Wandering beneath canopies of fairy lights with a mulled wine in one hand and a mince pie in the other is sure to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

TENDER LOVING CARE Stress can be a prime factor in loss of libido, so take some time to pamper yourself and each other.

Share a bath or take time to give each other a massage.

Take the pressure off by not expecting these to lead to sex (though if it does, who’s complaining?).

Remember all those cutesy little things you used to do when you were fi rst going out? Try some of them again! Even a little post-it note on the bathroom mirror can be enough to show your other half that you’re thinking of them.

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rekindle the roMAnce

Wishing you a great How you feel and what you believe about yourself can Christmas and happy 2016. be reflected in what happens to you, you about treat Year resolutions tend to fail How you feel and what New youhow believe yourself can yourself, be how you are treated, and how you deal with it. very quickly.

However they can reflected in what happens to you, how you treat be achieved with hypnosis, as yourself, how you are you treated, and to how you deal with i Change how you feel and what believe create it’s your subconscious mind that plays the old habits or behaviours better health, relationships and your confiChange how yougetting feel improve and what you believe to create With 2015 under Perhaps way you you maywould be looking to that you no longer want. like to dence andbetter self worth. health, relationships and improve your make some changes.

Weight stop smoking, stop smoking, lose weight, orloss, make a fresh start, find confijob or just being more positive and confident To find out how dence andanew self worth. new job or promotion but don’t have the confidence.

Hypnosis can help with all of this and much more.

What if youalso didTo have the confidence, would You could learn techniques help what you reduce find outtohow Pete Bateman you do?anxiety How would you make lifefocused. better? stress, and remain calm and To find out how I could help you, contact me for a www.hampshirehypnotherapist.co.uk Pete Bateman chat or Try a Taster session £35 Approx 45minutes T:023 92www.hampshirehypnotherapist.co.uk 595226 M:07737 980517 Pete Bateman T:023 92 595226 M:07737 980517 www.hampshirehypnotherapist.co.uk T:023 92 595226 M:07737 980517

CONTEMPORARy • AffORDAbLE

unique

TIME FOR A LITTLE CHAT

TRY SOMETHING NEW

Communication should be a staple in any relationship.

If you’re upset with someone tell them why.

If you’re grateful, let them know. It’s no surprise that couples who listen and talk to each other have longer and more fulfi lling relationships than those who regularly ignore or give up on conversations.

So sit down and talk to one another, you might even learn something new about each other.

It’s perfectly natural for relationships to become routine and, let’s face it, a little boring. Liven things up by trying something new. And just so you know, ‘trying something new’ is not confi ned to the bedroom. Why not pick a meal neither of you have eaten before and cook it together? Even watching a fi lm together or going for a drive somewhere new can be enough to rekindle that spark within you both.

photography

023 9229 4408 WEDDING • PORTRAIT • COMMERCIAL & CORPORATE

www.tidburyphotography.com

With 2015 getting under way you may be looking to make some changes. Weight loss, stop smoking, new job or just being more positive and confident Hypnosis can help with all of this and much more.

written By grAhAM Brown

sPice oF liFe

LOVE

GAME

When it comes to love, sex and relationships; whether we opt for one life partner, several married partners or shared multiple partners there is nothing quite so fascinating or complicated than the human species. Mayhem! takes an intriguing closer look at the options.

BIGAMY MONOGAMY The classic recognised one person relationship during a lifetime or relationship. This can have different variations like marital monogamy referring to a one partner marriage, sexual, genetic or social monogamy.

From an evolutionary viewpoint, monogamy works so that the male can provide and protect his offspring, and ensure the continuation of his genes. For both partners it can also provide much needed security and companionship. however with divorce rates soaring some people now see monogamy as outdated and out of touch with modern life. Even in western countries where divorce is acceptable, and where partners subsequently go on to remarry, it’s still classed as monogamy.

24 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

Entering into a marriage, while still legally married to another is considered a crime in most western countries. Normally it occurs where both separate partners are unaware of each other’s presence.

POLYGAMY This is a form of marriage with more than two people, or multiple mating usually practised in the Middle East and Africa, where this practise is more socially acceptable. To add to confusion if a woman is married to more than one husband at the same time it is called Polyandry, while a man married to more than one wife is deemed a polygyny! This practise works best economically in agricultural countries where there may well be a scarcity of males, or where they can select males that have better genes to increase survivability rates in their new offspring.

OPEN MARRIAGE/ RELATIONSHIPS There are as many different types of open marriages and relationships as there are closed ones, and are as unique as the people in them.

What’s important to realise is what works for one person might not work for another. It could be that heavy petting or dating is acceptable with other partners, where as sexual relations are not. Or it could be sexually driven giving the couple more agreed freedom with multiple partners (i.e. swinging, sex parties).

There are no rules only the accepted boundaries within the partnership, and communication really is key.

What could be more liberating for the 21st century?

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Vintage at 97

Vintage 97 is the charity shop for the Bivol Trust, which provides art, dressmaking and social groups for young people with learning disabilities in Portsmouth, Fareham and Gosport. Come to us for an excellent range of affordable vintage clothing!

From the 1940s chic to 80s retro, we have clothes, bags and accessories from every era.

We also sell vinyls, vintage books and bric-a-brac.

97 Elm Grove, Southsea PO2 1LH

07588 657 315

www.thebivoltrust.org Vintage at 97

written By Alex Bee

Uh...hello!!!

MOBILE

MANNERS

ON A DATE Even if you met online, checking your phone on a date while the other person is there can be a deal breaker.

Unless it’s an urgent call or text, checking your phone on a date comes across as rude and your date may think you’re bored. Let your friends know the gossip when your date is in the bathroom and not before.

Remember this time should be spent getting to know the other person and they should have your full attention.

you feel it in your pocket. AT WORK it’s that text you’ve been It’s no longer a taboo to check your messages at work and, of course, waiting for and you’re itching some might be related to your job. to reply, but you’re having But keep it professional: scrolling coffee with a friend. Maybe through Facebook or sending a Tweet are not okay. If you sit at a desk you’re having dinner at your with a computer, reducing screen auntie’s house. Perhaps time might be a good idea and WITH FRIENDS We’re so used to checking our you’re sat at your desk with a studying your phone during your pile of work to get on with. lunch or coffee break could leave you phones a new trend has emerged for feeling fatigued at the end of the day. mobile-free parties. Guests check-in But you just can’t resist their phones at the door and don’t have access to them all evening. swiping across the screen to IN THE BEDROOM Whether you live alone or with a Pubs have also started to adopt wi-fi have a look. Are we addicted partner, setting a mobile phone curfew free policies, writing ‘have a real to mobile phones or are allows you to separate yourself from conversation!’ on their chalkboards instead of the password. Over the they an integral part of our the stresses of the day and prepare yourself for sleep.

Staring at a screen course of the evening, checking your digital lives which should be before you go to bed can confuse the phone is acceptable in moderation accepted? Mayhem! takes a light receptors in your eye and mean but is no substitute for actually look at mobile phone protocol. that you get a less restful sleep. talking to your mates.

26 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

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Uh...hello!!!

ON A NIGHT OUT A mobile phone is essential on a night out and can ensure that you get home safely after a few drinks. Take as many photos as you like, but save Instagramming until the next day.

No-one wants to wait for their tequila slammer while you try to think of a decent hashtag.

AT DINNER

WITH CHILDREN

A touchy subject for some, okay for others and sometimes considered downright rude. Gauge the situation depending on the dinner guests but consider how you would feel if you were sat around a table with five square eyed friends, basking in the glow of their mobile phone screens instead of enjoying your company.

Some parents are against having mobile phones around their children, while others rely on games to keep their offspring entertained. Checking your phone too much around a child can set bad habits and reduce the interaction they need to develop social skills. however, mobile phones will be, a part of their lives as they grow up.

This is where you can set your own rules. Perhaps your mobile phone use will be unrestricted, or maybe you’ll reduce it after 9pm. You might even like to switch your phone off at the door and focus fully on your family or simply relax after a long day.

MAYhEMMAG |

AT HOME

PUBLIC PLACES Walking and talking is an all time classic combination. If you’re walking along a busy pavement make sure you keep up with the crowd. Texting and walking requires skill – watch out for lamp posts. Texting/talking in the cinema is obviously a no-no and playing music without headphones on the bus is not okay, ever!

IN THE CAR Drivers: this is illegal. Don’t do it.

Just don’t. If you’re in the passenger seat you’re automatically bestowed with the role of superstar DJ, so plug in the aux cable and showcase your best playlist.

ThEMAYhEMMAGAZINE | MAYheMMAgAzine.co.Uk

winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

27

CIGARS

written by Alex Bee

reMeMBer, sMoking kills!

of tHe worLd To mark an occasion, to indulge in luxury or simply share a moment with friends. Although undisputedly terrible for our health, cigars signify much more than a vice. Considered more of a hobby than an addiction, smoking cigars eludes to leisure and finery. We take a look at some of the finest cigars from around the globe.

history has shown us that ancient civilisations had a taste for tobacco. From medicinal uses by Shamans in the Americas to grizzly Opium dens in the side streets of London, smoking is not a new penchant. In fact, a collection of Mayan ‘Sicars’ were found in Guatemala in 2012. These were primitive compared to today, but used a similar technique. The ‘Sicars’ were found in clay pots below the ground level of a cave. Although they were 600 years old, they were deemed fit for consumption by analysts and sold at an auction to a tobacco collector for $507,000.

CULEBRA Culebra cigars are three in one. Well, really they’re just three cigars woven together, so more like three in three with triple strength. Culebra means snake in Spanish as the fi nished product resembles intertwined serpents. To make a Culebra manufacturers plait three cigars together and bind the fi nished product at each end.

EL THREESOME If you can’t decide which cigar you’d like, a Blue Mountain El Threesome – a lot less racy than it sounds – combines three cigars. The Nicaraguan cigar is divided into three sections, each with different wrappers and fi lter blends, the cigar starts off mild to medium and gets stronger the further up it is smoked.

As each section is wrapped separately, the cigar has a tricolour design.

OLIVA CIGAR Oliva Cigar Co. is a world renowned manufacturer created in the early 1800s in Cuba. The Oliva Serie V Melanio Figurado tops many lists for the best cigar and is known to be top quality. With notes of leather, caramel, coffee and wood. Each hand rolled set takes five years to make.

28 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

SUPER CIGAR A ‘super cigar’ was granted insurance by Lloyds of London. The cigar was over 12 feet long and contained more than 15,000 tobacco leaves. The worlds longest cigar is 268.4 feet and was rolled in Cuba.

FRUITY As well as the health risks, people are often put off by the taste of traditional cigars, which is generally strong and bitter for an unaccustomed pallet. A new trend has emerged for flavoured cigars in a similar range to sheesha pipes. As well as fruity flavours like strawberry and peach, smokers can now enjoy lychee and even peanut butter and jelly.

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one to one with…

at check out ed ’s Portsmouth royal new theatre ary on 23rd Janu

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one to one with…

“nothing can beat a live comedy audience” “I didn't make a conscious effort to write a more personal show, but that was what was coming out when I started writing it,” Ed says. “People come to see me for a laugh and I would like to think they go away thinking the show is quite heartwarming. A lot of comics may talk about the same stuff, but what makes it mine is that what I'm saying is what I genuinely think on this subject, and I try to make it as funny as I can. I think we all mine our lives to some degree or other.”

Ed is adamant that he will keep his two young sons out of the celebrity spotlight, so don't expect an “At Home With Ed Byrne and Family” in OK! any time soon. But in Outside, Looking In, he shows a picture of one of his sons – the denouement of a bittersweet story about buying new shoes – which not only illustrates it perfectly, but produces an “Aaaah” moment.

“I'm aware that they haven't given me permission to talk about them and that there will come a point when I can't,” Ed says. “John Bishop, for example, has stopped talking about his [much older] children on stage because people know who they are.”

“I talk about them in pretty abstract terms, because what I'm discussing is the act of parenting, and you can't talk about that without mentioning your own children. And there isn't anything in this show that would make them at a later date say, ‘I don't like this’.”

But while there is a lot of personal reflection in his new show, Ed also ponders on matters political – the story about his son sparks a passionate section about how we label young MAYhEMMAG |

children, for instance, and he also talks about feminism and transgenderism.

I ask Ed if dipping a toe into the transgender debate (for which some have been vilified on social media) isn’t a little risky. “It has become such a big subject because of Caitlyn Jenner [the former athlete Bruce Jenner, who transitioned earlier this year] and some Twitter trolls were refusing to acknowledge her as anything but Bruce.

I thought it was interesting that it stills divides people. I call it the thorniest issue since Jesus was fitted for a hat.”

The feminist slant to the new show was sparked by Ed’s reflections on his early days in comedy and, strikingly, he admits to being a little uncomfortable about some of his more laddish material back then.

“My comedy reflected my life at that time – single and enjoying myself – and most of it was fairly harmless ‘the difference between men and women’ kind of thing. But some of the stuff about an ex-girlfriend I can see was a bit angry and I wouldn't do it now.” he says he is more aware of how men and women interact in the modern world and is sometimes surprised by the difference in his reactions to things as a man in his forties to when he was twenty something. “I started watching Californication [the US dark comedy starring David Duchovny as a sex addict] but I found it insulting because I’m expected to empathise with him. His character behaves so unconscionably that I couldn’t watch the second series.”

“I don’t how much of that is simply getting older, or that times have changed, or mixing with a broader group of people. Interestingly I find Twitter can expand your horizons; I've started following all sorts of people on it and it’s good to get a different take on things.”

I ask Ed, 43, if he still likes touring after two decades. “Apart from the travel involved, which no comic likes, I love it, because you have people responding to something that you have written alone in your office, and the work comes alive in a room of people. I like the television things I do, but nothing can beat a live comedy audience.”

In any spare time, Ed is a hill walker; when in Scotland he climbs ‘munros’ (peaks above 3,000ft, he’s at 75) and the completist, slightly geeky side of him, he admits, means that elsewhere in the British Isles he also collects “county tops” – the highest point in the county. “I've downloaded an app for them,” he says with a laugh, “and have started making a list of those I've done.” he’s currently writing a sitcom set in an outdoors shop, and I ask if he plans to introduce his sons to the pleasures of outdoors. “My wife, Claire, and I already have. So far they love it, camping and canoeing, that sort of thing. As they’re growing it’s hard to be apart from them when I’m on tour, and I try not to be away for more than a couple of days at a time, but one of the great things about my job is that it means I can spend a lot of time with them when I’m home.”

ThEMAYhEMMAGAZINE | MAYheMMAgAzine.co.Uk

winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

31

creAtive cooking written by hAnnAh BirkBeck

LARDER

LOUTS the cupboards are bare, apart from an onion and a can of chopped tomatoes. not appetising meal choices after a hard days slog! But when you’ve been working late and haven’t the energy for food shopping and even the idea of a takeaway doesn’t appeal, what can you cook? why not try some of these cupboard leftover recipes?

TINNED FOOD SOUP With the dark cold evenings nothing beats a hearty bowl of piping hot soup. That pumpkin you bought for carving on halloween is still sitting in the cupboard, un-carved. Fear not, make a wholesome soup from the flesh. Simply cut into cubes (without the skin), place on a baking tray, drizzle with olive oil and season.

Bake at 180 degrees for 45 minutes.

While that’s in the oven, chop an onion and saute in a pan, then boil 330ml of stock, chicken or veg.

Once the pumpkin is cooked add to the onions along with the stock and 200ml of milk, a teaspoon of nutmeg and season. Cook for about 10 minutes then smooth the mixture with a blender.

Not everyone loves the crust on a loaf of bread and especially when it goes stale. Instead of throwing it away, make croutons. Cut the bread into cubes and fry in olive oil. A perfect topping on pumpkin soup or in a salad.

32 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

Tuna is a simple addition to many dishes. A fi lling for a baked potato, an accompaniment with salad or even the main ingredient in fishcakes.

Fishcakes have become increasingly popular; featured in Mrs Beeton’s ‘Book of household Management’, fi rst published in the 19th century. her recipe used leftover fi sh and potatoes. The fishcake has certainly moved on since then. Why not try this alternative recipe.

Boil some potatoes then mash with soft cheese, cracked black pepper or garlic and herbs , then add the tuna along with chopped red onion and fi nely chopped coriander. If you have some sweet chilli sauce add that with and a dash of lemon juice.

Season then mould into fi st size balls.

Place on a baking tray covered with foil and bake, yes bake not fry for about 35–40 minutes until the fishcakes are golden brown. Serve with a side of salad and cous cous.

Why not try sweet potatoes, a good alternative with a sweeter taste.

PIZZA Forget takeaway pizza when you can create your own. Pizzas are dead easy to make with a few basic ingredients. All you need is self raising flour, olive oil and water.

Simply throw all the ingredients into a large empty coffee jar. Shake the jar until the mixture forms a dough.

Remove and place on a floured surface and roll out into a flat circle.

Add some chopped tomatoes, grated cheese, onions, ham or any leftover veg on top, season and bake in the oven for 45 minutes. Serve with salad.

These are just a few recipes to try with cupboard leftovers. Release the inner chef in you and get creative in the kitchen.

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written by FionA stAnton

on Yer Bike!

BENEFITS OF

BIKING

tHAt yOu DiDn’t knOw exist

SLEEP Research suggests that cycling for 20–30 minutes three or four times a week, helped insomniacs sleep better. Exercising outside helps your body release stress, which leads to a peaceful night’s sleep.

HEART A good aerobic exercise is good for your heart and lungs, which means when you’re doing a workout, you’re also giving your heart, blood vessels and lungs a workout, keeping your heart healthy.

who wants to be stuck in traffic, getting road rage, when you can whiz around on a YOUTH No need for expensive face BOWELS bike? Cycling has become one of the most creams; cycling can protect The physical activity helps popular forms of exercise and around 3.1 your skin against the signs your food pass through your large intestine and of aging, reduce the million people cycle every month. Cycling appearance of wrinkles and helps to have softer stools. is not only a great way to keep fit and speed up healing. Regular The aerobic exercise pumps oxygen and increases your breathing healthy, but cycling can also help you sleep cycling which helps protect you nutrients to the skin cells, and keep you looking and feeling youthful. helping you to look younger. against bowel cancer.

34 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

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on Yer Bike!

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BRAIN This exercise helps generate new brain cells and boost your brain activity, for an increased mental power helping improve your memory and protect you against Alzheimer’s.

If you want to get back in the saddle, why not check out what cycle to work schemes your employer might be involved with, to get yourself a tax-free bike.

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EN

COORDINATION You may not realise it but the act of cycling relies on several functions. hands are used to steer, while your core is required to maintain balance. Your feet are put to work pedaling and your senses are on high alert, carefully observing the environment and listening for dangers.

LIVE LONGER Not only can you look younger by cycling, but you can live longer too.

Those who exercise regularly reduce the risk of getting heart attacks, diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure and obesity.

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WHAT’S ON OFFER? the race village – Be part of the action. Part of the crew. get under the skin of the ‘America’s cup’ – see the sailors close-up, learn about the racing and the technology. Experience the exhilarating boats racing, with live commentary and big screens giving a blow-by-blow account as the teams reach incredible speeds.

tHe LouIs vuItton

AMERICA’S CUP WORLD SERIES returns to portsMoutH 21–24 JuLY 2016 The spectacular sight of America’s Cup Racing returns to British waters this summer when the Louis Vuitton America’s Cup World Series (ACWS) takes place in Portsmouth 21–24 July 2016. The racing will feature the best sailors in the world competing on sleek AC45 catamarans that ‘fly’ on foils at astonishing speeds of up to 40mph.

The Portsmouth event forms part of a collection of regattas leading up to the 35th America’s Cup, every race

will count in the series with vital points being secured ahead of the America’s Cup in Bermuda 2017.

The racing in Portsmouth will take place within touching distance of the onshore spectator Race Village in Southsea and cannot fail to be entertaining.

This is your chance to support home team Land Rover Ben Ainslie Racing as they take on the world’s best sailing teams on home waters.

Watch the excitement, join the action – 21–24 July 2016 Tickets on sale now: www.lvacwsportsmouth.com 36 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

the ‘race village’ includes: • Team Zone – see the sailors close-up • Main stage with world class MC’s.

• Dock out/in show with the sailors.

• Large screens and audio commentary • America’s Cup technology zone • Dedicated kid’s zone, retail outlets and food & drink offerings.

• The Race Village + Premier Grandstand Seating Upgrade your ‘Race Village’ ticket with a dedicated grandstand seat for the day. The Premier Grandstand offers fantastic views of the racing with live audio race commentary. the sailors lounge A ‘pop-up sailing club’ dedicated to those who want the full sporting experience. The package includes a dedicated premier grandstand seat, private ‘sports’ bar, lunch and drinks voucher, ‘Race Village’ queue jump, special guest speakers and live screen with audio commentary broadcasting the racing.

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weAr A hAt dAY

YOU CAN

LEAVE YOUR

HAT ON!

the uk’s premier brain tumour awareness event is making a HAt-tAstiC return to Hampshire on 24th March 2016!

Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer, yet receive just 1% of the national spend on cancer research; at this rate it could take another 100 years to fi nd a cure!

Let’s change this! Will you, your school, workplace or club take part in Wear A hat Day 2016 and help raise vital funds and awareness for brain tumour research?

There are so many ways to get involved and have fun while supporting our life-saving research: • Hold a wacky Wear A Hat Day event and sell our colourful hat badges, wristbands or even a bucketful of car hats!

• Visit our Hatter’s Workshop online to access great extras; including posters, event ideas, quizzes, and competitions.

• Strike a pose for a hat• Join the party on Facebook, selfie and text donate at the Twitter and Instagram – same time: Text ‘hAT’ #hattastic! to 70660 to donate £5.

Visit www.wearahatday.org today to register your event and you will receive a fundraising pack in February 2016. Thank you for your support!

www.wearahatday.org

MayheM! Meets…

‘Delirium’ is the follow up to ellie Goulding’s hit albums ‘Lights’ and ‘Halcyon’ and features her global hit ‘Love Me Like You Do’. we chat with ellie about how she’s finding life as a worldwide pop star.

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38 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

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MayheM! Meets…

“I feel lucky that I can laugh about most things and have a good sense of humour, that’s the best way to get through the weirdness that comes with this job” So Ellie, you’ve called your new album ‘Delirium’ – when was the last time you were in delirium?

I feel like I might be in it right now. It’s more of a regular thing for me. It’s just a word that seems fit my life. My life is pretty crazy at the moment. It’s a state of happiness, you know, deliriously happy, deliriously crazy, sad and... it just kind of sums up the album.

The album sounds really huge, like every song could be a No 1. Was that the aim when you were making this?

I wanted to explore being a pop artist a bit more. I realised my love of electronic music and my love of classical and folk music and that I could keep them separate to what I do with pop music. I loved the idea of making songs where each one has its own powerful meaning. I tried to encapsulate that but still be a pop artist and take it to the next level.

You always seem straightforward and honest in your songs?

Are you like that in life as well?

I’m pretty honest. I like to explore things, I like to think about being a human and what we go through.

If ever I’m overly harsh about something or someone, that’s just me being ultimately genuine.

Is it sometimes hard to be genuine in the music industry, which can be superficial?

I think so but I embrace it and I understand the industry I’m in. I understand who I am and where I am MAYhEMMAG |

at the moment. It’s the way you deal with things, your reaction to things rather than what’s actually going on.

something more special. There’s something about this album which I feel has taken another step forward.

In your song ‘Around U’ you say ‘I just want to be around you, before I was cynical’…is that where you are at the moment with life and love and relationships?

I think fans know me in the way that I write and the way that I’ve written in the past. For me to say, ‘Before I was cynical’, is a private joke between myself and my fans who know my music. Because the heart of a lot of what I’ve written about is cynicism about love and relationships. So I think my fans will have a little smirk to themselves about that line.

At the start your career you were hesitant about being recognised.

Was there a point where you realised it wasn’t so bad and can be quite fun?

I try to see the fun side of everything.

I feel lucky that I can laugh about most things and have a good sense of humour, that’s the best way to get through the weirdness that comes with this job. I can’t complain because I’m very lucky. I have great people around me and I feel like I’m in a good place. I was just scared of being scrutinised and being watched. I think it’s scarier than people realise to put yourself out there. I forgot that people would define me by my music.

So ‘Delirium’ is your least cynical album when it comes to relationships because you’re less cynical about them now?

I think so. I’m just tired of being cynical, I’m tired of being apprehensive about things, about love and I wanted an album that was quite simply happier and stronger.

My last two albums show a lot of vulnerability and I wanted this album to show the stronger, happier side of me with a bigger sound.

Do you get time to have a normal life rather than Ellie the pop star?

Yeah totally. I feel pretty normal now.

There are stages in the promotion cycle or the album cycle where it just gets so crazy it’s hard to feel like a human. But at the moment I do. There are certain things that happen in your life that remind you you’re flesh and bones, but I feel pretty grounded at the moment.

You did pop songs before such as ‘Lights’ and ‘Burn’. What’s the difference between those and the new songs in terms of pop?

I feel a lot stronger as a songwriter and I’ve bonded with people I’ve worked with in a way that’s created

ThEMAYhEMMAGAZINE | MAYheMMAgAzine.co.Uk

Ellie Goulding Delirium is out NOW! winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

39

written By Alex Bee

hMMM, rAw eggs!

EGGNOG? eggnog may be synonymous with a sickly sweet American Christmas but in fact the traditional drink originated in Britain.

Posset was an unappetising combination of hot curdled milk mixed with ale and was popular in 14th Century England. Over time eggs were added. The drink was later adopted by the colonies in America, who added rum and began to shape the drink as it’s known today. This festive season why not try some alternatives to the basic recipe?

40 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

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hMMM, rAw eggs!

ONE MINUTE EGGNOG

CHOCOLATE EGGNOG

EGGNOG CHAI LATTE

For a standard eggnog mix to serve 2 people, blend together 2 eggs, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 2 ⅓ cups of low fat milk, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract and a dash of ground nutmeg. Whizz these ingredients together until the mixture is smooth and almost foamy. To make this recipe appropriately boozy for Christmas, add 1 shot of your favourite tipple.

This variation requires cooking the eggnog mixture. Ensure when doing this the mixture is warm but the eggs do not curdle. Start by gently heating the milk and adding 2 ounces of dark chocolate.

Melt them into the milk one square at a time before mixing in the rest of the ingredients. Add a measure of bourbon for each serving.

Before whizzing the basic mix together add ⅔ of a cup of chai latte mix or gently heat the milk with 5 chai tea bags in it (remove before blending together).

Serve with a topping of whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

VEGAN EGGNOG

PUMPKIN EGGNOG MARTINI Add 1 tablespoon of pumpkin spice syrup per serving to the basic eggnog recipe plus one measure of spiced rum, one measure of dark rum and half a measure of vanilla vodka.

Serve this recipe in a martini glass and dip the rim of the glass in a mixture of sugar and chai spice to impress Christmas guests.

MAYhEMMAG |

BANANA NOG Follow the basic eggnog recipe, adding 1 measure of dark rum for each serving.

When the mixture reaches the correct consistency, puree and fold in fold in 1 banana. Serve with ginger biscuits on the side for dipping.

To make 4 cups of vegan eggnog, blend together 1 cup of raw cashews, soaked for 2 hours, 3 cups of water, 5 pitted medjool dates, 1 medium banana (frozen), ¼ small avocado (frozen), 2 ½ teaspoons of vanilla extract, 1 teaspoon of freshly ground nutmeg, ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon, ¼ teaspoon ground cloves. Serve in handled jars and add a cinnamon stick to garnish.

COCONUT EGGNOG Now available in most large supermarkets, this recipe uses coconut milk. To serve 6, whizz together 6 cups of coconut milk, 6 egg yolks, ¼ cup spiced rum, ¼ cup brandy, 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract, ¼ cup honey, ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg and ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon.

ThEMAYhEMMAGAZINE | MAYheMMAgAzine.co.Uk

EGGNOG FRENCH TOAST If you fi nd yourself with leftover eggnog after hosting a Christmas party, soak slices of bread in the mixture and fry in a hot pan with a little oil until brown on each side for a festive breakfast. Drizzle with maple syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon. winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

41

written by tAMsYn howArd

Be MY gUest

BE MY GUEST

With the party season upon us, you’re bound to be invited to at least one (even if it is just the staff do). From fancy dress bashes to high-toned events, follow this guide to being the best party guest you can and keep those invites flooding in!

BRING A BOTTLE

MAKE THE EFFORT Whatever the occasion, you should always dress to impress. After all, dressing up for a party is half the fun.

If you’re off to a fancy dress party don’t turn up in jeans and a t-shirt (you might as well wear a sign that says ‘Only here for the free food’).

Costumes need not be expensive and, with a little thought and creativity, even everyday household items can make a pretty decent effort. Neither do outfits for fancier shindigs have to break the bank; try jazzing up that old dress lurking at the back of the wardrobe or, if you’re looking for something new(ish), organise a clothes swapping night with a few friends.

42 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

It’s a polite gesture to offer a gift to the host. For dinner parties, bring a bottle of wine. For fancy dress parties bring some snacks or something to drink.

You’re pretty safe turning up empty handed to the staff do, unless of course you’ve been told otherwise.

MERRIMENT IN MODERATION Maybe you’re trying to calm your nerves before talking to your crush or perhaps the host just happened to buy a bottle of your favourite tipple; whatever the reason for the glass in your hand, remember to pace yourself. Over-drinking can lead to embarrassing situations. Whatever you’re drinking, moderation is the key. Take your time, sip don’t swig and drink one soft drink for every alcoholic one. This should keep you far from faux pas and help you avoid hangovers the morning after too.

MIND YOUR MANNERS Never forget to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and always avoid the 3 S’s…

Snooping: Don’t go poking around someone’s house at a party and respect the host’s wishes if there are any rooms out of bounds; just think how violated you’d feel if someone went snooping around your home.

Snogging: Yes, it’s a Christmas party and yes, that is mistletoe, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend the next ten minutes playing tonsil tennis with your office crush. A peck on the cheek? Great! A kiss on the lips? Fine. Full-frontal snogging? Best to save that for a more private locale.

Sex: This one pretty much goes without saying, but don’t have sex at a party. Wherever you are, it’s probably a bad idea, especially if you’ve both had a bit too much to drink.

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For full details call the Special Events Team 023 92 778604 | 778610 | specialevents@hmswarrior.org | www.hmswarrior.org

Sledding hit the sloPes

written by Alex Bee

In stYLe through days of drizzle, grey skies and freezing air, we trudge to work with our heads down, wrapped in scarves and layers of knitwear, dreaming of the magical days when winter rewards us with a blanket of snow. when and if these days arrive, sledding is a winter activity guaranteed to delight. whether you’re a seasoned sledder or only make an appearance on the slopes once a year, Mayhem! is here with the options.

THE VINTAGE LOVER A traditional wooden sled is perfect for the nostalgic. Pretend you’re in a Charles Dickens novel as you race down the snow covered hills before heading home for a mulled cider.

THE BARGAIN HUNTER Just as effective as a wooden sled for a fraction of the price. A less expensive option that may not be suited to reckless riders but is handy to keep in the shed for Britain’s infrequent snowy days.

THE DIY MASTER Old winter coats tied securely and duct taped in a plastic bag make for a comfy and speedy sled with added padding.

44 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

THE SERIOUS SLEDDER For gadget and technology fiends, not any old sled will do. The serious sledder’s kitchen is full of the latest culinary appliances and their car is fitted with surround speakers, so why would they settle for less on the slopes?

Try a purpose built sled like the carbon fibre Snolo Stealth-X, complete with steering handles and F1 style seating for drift s, spins and even riding backwards.

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hit the sloPes

THE LAZY SLEDDER A student special: take last night’s pizza box, open it up, sit, sled. Done.

THE MINIMALIST A kitchen tray is an easy choice when the excitement of a snow day sets in and there is absolutely no chance of waiting for the stores to open. Who needs to steer or brake anyway?

THE MINDFUL SLEDDER A yoga mat works just as well for sledding as unwinding. Fold the front of the mat over to steer and work on your poses at the same time.

THE COOL GUY Mix snow sports with summer fun and work your surf or boogie board on the slopes as well as the waves.

THE ECCENTRIC Maybe it’s lying in a hedge at the end of the street or perhaps dormant at the bottom of your garden since last year’s spring clean. But if you can fi nd one, a bathtub is the ultimate statementmaking sled.

THE COSY SLEDDER The ideal compromise between staying in your cosy bed and heading out to the snowy action on the local slopes. Pump up your spare air mattress and enjoy a leisurely glide in the snow.

THE CLASSIC hose off a dustbin lid and don’t hold back as you gather speed in your perfect makeshift sled. As seen in every Christmas movie ever.

MAYhEMMAG |

ThEMAYhEMMAGAZINE | MAYheMMAgAzine.co.Uk

winter 2015/16 | MAYheM!

45

hoMe secUritY

BURGLARY written by Alex Bee

BATTLE

As we now find ourselves enveloped in the winter months, our minds are filled with visions of warm nights by the fire, fridges full of festive treats and maybe even an escape to a warmer climate. At this time it’s more important than ever to consider home security.

Burglaries increase by up to 20% this time of year and homes with no security measures in place are five times more likely to be burgled than those with simple defenses in place.

TEAMWORK You may already have a good relationship with your neighbours.

If not, this time of year is the perfect opportunity to organise a get together to meet them properly. The better you know the people that live around you, the more a stranger will stick out.

46 MAYheM! | winter 2015/16

KEEP LOW KEY

GET THE GADGETS

You got an iPad for Christmas?!

Good for you! Why don’t you post a photo of it on your Facebook so we all know about it? Or better yet leave the empty box in your recycling bin so we can tell exactly where you live too. You wouldn’t leave your mobile phone on display in your car, so don’t advertise all your lovely new gifts to criminals. Whether it’s through a window or through a computer screen, drawing attention makes you a target.

Fitting a security alarm in your house is a sure way to catch any unwanted visitors to your house (not including annoying relatives at festive parties, sorry). To protect your home from intruders the alarm doesn’t even necessarily need to go off. The device itself on the outside of the property is enough to deter criminals. If you’re worried about actually installing the device, simply buy a ‘security system installed’ sign. A ‘beware of the dog’ sign can be helpful, but burglars are also aware that if you have a pet, you probably don’t have a security alarm as your furry friend would set it off.

NEED TO KNOW You may have been waiting for your trip to the Maldives all year, but as far as anyone should know, you’re stuck in Blighty. Signs of an empty house include piled up post in the porch and an uncleared driveway in snowy weather. If you can, enlist a friend to pick up your post, move your car periodically and keep your driveway tidy. Also don’t change your answer phone message to let people know you’re not at home.

For trips to the shops or evening out, ensure all doors are locked and think about leaving a couple of lights and the TV or radio on. Although you may just be popping out for five minutes, late or in a mad rush, is leaving the window open really worth it?

EXPOSURE Although it’s cold outside, some Winter pruning can have practical as well as cosmetic benefits. Large bushes and trees give trespassers something to hide behind, especially near doors and windows. Try to keep all entrances to your property clear, not forgetting the front gate and cellar hatches.

At the bottom of the garden, your shed can be an afterthought when it comes to security. But this can be a jackpot for burglars who could utilise unsecured tools to help them gain access to your home. If you’re using the shed to hide larger gift s make sure you have a heft y padlock, or somebody else could be getting their hands on them.

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