merlin
written by Clare Azzopardi translated by Albert Gatt published by Merlin Publishers
For rights enquiries contact info@merlinpublishers.com
Silence fell again, and in that silence, we just listened to the patter of the r a i n.
Time: 18:07
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“She can’t be serious!” “My God, I so don’t like her.” “Same here.” “You can ask Tim about the main part if you like! Blah blah blah blah.” “She must be sleeping with him.” “Fat chance, like Tim would be interested. Did you see that black top? That’s like totally last year.” “Eurgh!” “And then she tries to act cool.” “When deep down she’s a total bitch.” “Did you see that, though? Barely looks in our direction. I mean, hel-looo, we’re here! Couldn’t you at least look our way when you’re talking to us?” “She tries to act cool. ’Cause he always gives her the main part after all.” “Yeah, languages are cool. And no, I
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don’t miss the sciences at all. Ha ha.” “And she can’t remember Mark at all, or so she says.” “Whatever!” “I mean, I can’t stand her. Even her posts on Facebook. Seriously, a real bitch. Ok. Seriously now. Why am I not Lady GaGa?” “Can’t imagine what she thinks she is.” “Here’s another one: So dad’s dancing in the kitchen. Me: Dad, what the ...? Dad: There’s Nina Simone’s My Funny Valentine in my head, can’t help it. Me: Ok I’ll join you.” “Wow, you know them off by heart!” “Finally resorted to defrosting my toes with the hairdryer.” “D’you know which one I remember? The one about the barbeque sauce.” “Oops, put barbeque sauce on my
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cornflakes. Ooooh, I’m so sleepy!” “I was about to say, go get yourself some glasses if you can’t see anymore.” “Whole lotta tears and DG eyeliner and stuff.” “Is that this morning’s one?” “Yesterday evening.” “Sort of telling us she uses DG eyeliner!” “Can’t think why she’d be crying.” “She was pretending, obviously.” “Or else she’s on.” “What are you doing?” “Checking if she’s on.” “In her bag?” “Yeah. Checking if there’s any sanitary towels or tampons or whatever.” “What the...” “Chill, Amy, I’m just taking the piss. Jesus.”
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“What if she turns up?” “You keep watch.” “But what are you looking for?” “Whatever.” “Check if she’s wearing a g-string, then.” “Why, d’you want to nick it? Remember that prank?” “Yes I do, thanks, and no, I wouldn’t want her g-string.” “We could hang up hers in the Foyer, rather than in class.” “Bitch.” “Whoah!! That’s hers and it’s ringing!” “Check out who’s calling.” “Where the hell is it?” “Shit, someone’s coming.” “Shit, shit. Come on, there!” “Relax, gal, no one’s coming.” “Arse.”
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“Sure, you’re welcome.” “Man, but there’s so much rubbish in this bag. Pads, like and... yuck!” “Dirty ones?” “Oh ha ha!” “You said there’s a lot of rubbish, didn’t you?” “Lipgloss, mirror, socks ... no g-string, sorry ... papers, book, straightener ... straightener? What the ...? Book, Hello Kitty, can you believe she’s she’s still obsessed with that ... hubba-hubba Hello Kitty ... or Hello Kitty I’m giving you another chance.” “Gosh, do you still remember that status?!” “Totally. Wow. Iphone. Cool. My iphone and a bucket of wings.” “That’s from like a week ago. She’s not had it long, I think.”
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“Yep. Shit, there it goes again. It’s Dean. Shall I answer?” “Oh no, don’t. What’ll you tell him?” “Surprise! It’s me, like ... hubba-hubba.” “No way!” “OK ok, relax.” “A text.” “How can he find her attractive, anyway? The girl’s totally uncool. I mean she still wears the same bra she had in Fifth, did you notice?” “Same panties as well. Same ones she wore in Fifth, remember? The same old Hello Kitty set!” “That’s from, like, months ago!” “Beats me how he can be attracted to her.” “The man again.” “But are you sure they’re together?” “You’ve got to be a real bimbo not to
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notice, eh.” “Do me a favour, put it on silent.” “Yay ... no security code.” “A total bimbo, then.” “OK, text number 1: Hey sweets can’t make it today not feeling very well cu online.” “Not exactly wow is it?” “Well, there’s a lot of kisses and things. Text number two: Hey Mel why dint u turn up 4 SOK 2day? Sth happen?” “Shall we answer him?” “About Systems Of Knowledge?” “No, about his being sick.” “Forget it. Don’t care about Dean, me.” “OK. Then let’s bugger off ’cause my God it’s late!” “Why don’t we nick her mobile? Just for laughs. She’ll think she lost it, like.” “And then what?”
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“Put it in the post for her tomorrow.” “Isn’t there anyting else interesting in that handbag?” “As interesting as an iPhone? Don’t think so.” “OK then. Bit of a rough prank but still, she’s been asking for it. She really embarrassed me at the Blue Bar with Mark the other day. And then she pretends she can’t remember him!” “Good thing he doesn’t show up anymore.” “Think she’ll take a joke?” “Depends on the joke, right? Not if we screw things up for her with Dean, she won’t!” “What d’you have in mind, then?” “No clue. First, I need to refuel.” “You bet. After a workout like that.”
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“OY, YOU, RELAX. WHADDYA WANT?” “Hehehehehe.” “My it’s a real chiller today.” “Let’s go babe.” “Know what she also had in that handbag? The blue DG eyeliner.” “Awesome! Why didn’t you nick it?” “I did, don’t worry.” “Wow. Cool. Can I use it please?” “Pastizzi first, though.” “Oy, you, relax and gimme sum ov dat.” “Ha ha, you can’t do her as well as me. Come on, Ame, hurry!”
Time: 18:11
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pen
keys on a hello kitty keyring
a
rell
um b
elastoplast max factor lip gloss
chewing gum red wallet from next hello kitty bra
bracelets
rubber bands hand maid’s tale black iphone pe nc il ipod nano
deodorant clean pair of socks
paracetamol
wipes
santa bookmark carefree sanitary pads pink lipstick
half eaten packet of skips skips scrunched up notes from philosophy class
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liner DG eye um half-eaten packet of skips clean pair of socks la rel b mousse um
chew
hairpins
straightener
ipod nano
rubber bands keys on hello kitty keyring
hand maid’s tale
elastoplast
scrunched up notes from philosophy class
eyeliner DG tampax
ror mir hello kittybra nina ricci perfume red wallet from next
mirror paracetamol black iphone
carefree sanitary pads wip e nina ricci perfume s bracelets sugar-free sweets pencil
deodorant sunglasses pink lipstik
santa bookmark max factor lip gloss
pen
ing g
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ipod nano
hairpins
nina ricci perfume
mousse
mirror pencil
hello kitty bra
tampax
pen
wipes
red wallet from next rubber bands paracetamol clean pair of socks elastoplast
straightener ipod nano
carefree sanitary pads
pink lipstik hairpins deodorant max factor lip gloss mousse straightener bracelets panadols santa bookmark scrunched up notes from philosophy class
keys on a hello kitty keyring
chewing gum asses sungl DG eyeliner santa bookmark black iphone s umbrella ugar -free swee ts half-eaten packet of skips hand maid’s tale
umbrella
DG eyeliner
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nina ricci perfume umbrella keys on a hello kitty keyring chewing gum deodorant
ipod nano
sugar-free sweets hairpins
straightener
txen morf tellaw der ipod nano hand maid’s tale lip gloss max factor bracelets e uss o m rubber bands paracetamol santa bookmark pink lipstik scrunched up notes from philosophy class half-eaten packet of skips tamp pencil ax n pe carefree sanitary pads clean pair of socks tampax sunglasses elastoplast hello kitty bra wipes black iphone