Miami Dade Family Life February 2020 by miamidadefamilylife

MIAMI-DADE

COMPLIMENTARY

FEBRUARY 2020

BUMP&

BEYOND LOCAL RESOURCES FOR BUSY PARENTS

HIGHon

TECHNOLOGY

WHY TODAY’S TEENS ARE ADDICTED TO THEIR PHONES

COURAGEOUS kids RAISING CHILDREN WHO STAND UP FOR WHAT’S RIGHT

contents

FEBRUARY 2020

departments 6

MIAMI & MORE News about the people, places and events in our community.

FAMILY HEALTH The reason why today’s teens are “addicted” to their smartphones.

HOME TECH Great apps for parents to better organize busy lives.

SPECIAL NEEDS How to safeguard the children who are most vulnerable to bullying.

FAMILY MAN A daughter’s fictitious French exam tests a dad’s parenting skills.

CALENDAR OF EVENTS Entertaining and noteworthy things to see and do in every corner of Miami-Dade County.

WORDS OF WISDOM A “birth day” gift comes with a surprise… and ends with a smile. ON THE COVER: Kaitlyn Caballero, 8, with her brother, Gavin, 6, of Miami Cover Angels Winners (Shown here with Kaitlyn’s twin brother, Kaleb) Photographer: Lisa Nalven

features

DRUMROLL, PLEASE

COURAGEOUS KIDS

ALONE TOGETHER

BUMP & BEYOND

BEHIND BABY’S FIRST WORDS

Introducing the winners and runners-up in our annual Cover Angels contest.

How to raise children who stand up for what’s right.

Sometimes time apart is exactly what’s needed to keep couples close.

Local resources to help parents navigate the journey of pregnancy and parenthood.

Helping toddlers speak may be as simple as striking up a conversation.

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MIAMI-DADE

Our mission is to enrich family life in Miami-Dade County by offering the highest quality publication and an unparalleled commitment to our readers and our community. PUBLISHER Lisa Goodlin ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stacey Jacques EXECUTIVE EDITOR Michelle Liem ASSISTANT EDITOR Greg Carannante ASSOCIATE EDITOR Shannon Pease-Severance SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGERS Suzy Miguelez • Sheila Ranson Rick Charnack CREATIVE DIRECTOR Carrie B. Weeks

SPLASHTACULAR BIRTHDAY PARTIES! Make new friends when you party with Lolita the Orca, TV superstar Flipper, Salty the Sea Lion and all your marine animal friends. It’s the no-hassle way to give your birthday child the party of a lifetime! For reservations, call 305-365-2507 today. Party package includes a party area with decorations, kid-friendly lunch, personalized cake, costumed character visit (weather permitting), admission to all shows and exhibits and much more.

NEW Touch Pools!

miamiseaquarium.com LOCATED ON RICKENBACKER CAUSEWAY, JUST MINUTES FROM DOWNTOWN MIAMI.

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For information on where to find Miami-Dade Family Life, or to become a distributor, call 954-424-7405 or e-mail info@miamidadefamilylife.com Comments and suggestions are welcome. Miami-Dade Family Life is published twelve times per year by Family Life Media Group. It is distributed free of charge throughout Miami-Dade County. Miami-Dade Family Life is not responsible for statements made by advertisers or writers. We make every effort to ensure the accuracy of information we print, but cannot be held responsible for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. All photography and letters sent to Miami-Dade Family Life will be treated unconditionally, assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to unrestricted right to edit and comment editorially. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is forbidden.

February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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MIAMI

Optical Illusions NEW MUSEUM OFFERS A ONE-OF-A-KIND EXPERIENCE nd now… a museum for the Instagram generation. Featuring over 40 interactive, 3D murals of eye-popping optical illusions, Miami Beach’s new Museum of Illusions is a fun, family-friendly way to amaze followers with social-media selfies taken in mind-blowing, artistic settings. Created by artists from around the world, the murals offer visitors a one-of-a-kind, imaginative experience inspired by popular and Miami culture, TV, movies, cartoons, politics and more. Unlike at other museums, flash photography is not just allowed here — it’s encouraged. And professional photographers are even on hand to advise and help visitors take the best shots as they make the approximately one-hour walk through the museum. The Museum of Illusions, which also has locations in Los Angeles and San Francisco and many others in the works, bills itself as a leader of the Instagrammable museum trend — which, admittedly, could qualify as one of those I-didn’t-even-know-that-was-a-trend trends. Tickets are $25/adults, $16/ages 4-12, and free/under 3. The museum is at 536 Lincoln Road. For more information, visit www.miaillusions.com or call 305-604-5000.

A little zip goes a long way A new nature-inspired playground is putting some zip in the outdoor play of southwest MiamiDade’s kids. Not only can they climb, run, swing and take a nature walk at Serena Lakes Park — they can take a thrilling ride on a zip line, too. The new 10,000-square-foot playground includes a play set designed for children ages 5 to 12 that features an 80-foot zip line with its own safety surface mound, as well as an ADAcompliant bridge climber/crawler and an airplane slide. There’s also a separate swing set with an infant seat and nature-themed toddler riders. For park-goers who want to take a little nature break, the playground is surrounded by a new walkway integrated with gardens of butterflyattracting native plants, shade trees and park

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benches. The 5.14-acre park also contains a picnic shelter. Serena Lakes is just the most recent example of Miami-Dade Parks effort to introduce more nature-inspired playgrounds. In the Kendall area, Devon Aire Park and Forest Lakes Park both opened similar playgrounds in recent months. “Playgrounds like this are encouraging more kids to get outdoors for a daily dose of enriching, active play and green time and are helping them learn to appreciate nature,” said Miami-Dade Parks Director Maria I. Nardi. Serena Lakes Park, at 13965 SW 180 St., Miami, is open sunrise to sunset. For more information, call 305-254-5856 or visit www.miamidade.gov/parks/serena-lakes.asp.

BUILD A BETTER YOU Take the stairs or the elevator. Order a dinner salad or a greasy burger. Apply sunscreen or brave the outdoors without it. Every day we all make choices that affect our health and wellness. In real life, each choice counts, but in the MeLaß at the Phillip And Patricia Frost Museum of Science, visitors become the experiment, exploring the amazing ways their body and mind work together, and how daily choices impact their health and well-being. Reenvisioned and relocated in the museum’s West Wing, the newly enhanced exhibition has so much to explore that it now spreads across two levels of the Baptist Health Galleries. There are new interactive experiences, such as: the Health Labs, where guests can step into the shoes of a health scientist and conduct experiments; Crush the Calories, a digital gaming installation that encourages movement; and reimagined live science demonstrations. Making their way through the two MeLaß spaces, visitors encounter five interactive zones — Eat, Move, Relax, Connect and Learn — each one offering explorations that reveal the connection between the body and brain. For example, they can fill up a virtual plate with favorite foods to find out how to balance calories in with calories out; or take timed brain teaser challenges to see how they respond under pressure; or sink into a relax pod to learn which music helps them best unwind. All of this is done with the assistance of a digital character, ßeta, a personal partner that each guest builds by answering questions in each zone. The more questions answered, the more each ßeta is customized and the more visitors learn about themselves. The museum is at 1101 Biscayne Blvd, Miami. For more information, visit www.frostscience.org or call 305-434-9600.

A frenzy of festivals

Ah… festival season in South Florida, when just about every weekend brings at least one outdoor event filled with sunshine, festivity and whatever strikes your fancy. On Feb. 8-9, however, Coral Gables is supersizing its festival weekend — and hosting eight fests in one. The Coral Gables Mega Festival of the Arts, on Alhambra Circle between Ponce de Leon Boulevard and Le Jeune Road, features five free fests from 10am-6pm both days. Families will be especially interested in the Kid and Family Fest, featuring over 50 booths of all things for kids, including exhibits, products, art and food, plus Lego movie characters, music by School of Rock and other entertainment for the kiddies. There’s also Bo’s Dog & Pet Festival, with over 40 booths of pet products and services from adoption to apparel, plus pet art, demos and entertainment. Of course, there are plenty other free festivities for Mom and Dad, such as the Fine Arts Festival, showcasing 13 categories of art and over 200 artists from around the country; the Home Show, spotlighting the art of the home with over 100 booths and 85 products companies; and Fashion Fest, with 100-plus booths featuring jewelry, apparel, hats, shoes, accessories and more. The three ticketed events include, on Feb. 8, the 10th Annual Food, Wine & Spirits Festival, 2-6pm, $39-$99; and Craft Beer Fest, 6-10pm, $29-$49. On Feb. 9 from 2-6pm, a launch party for the Hukilau Seafood Festival, scheduled for April 18-19, features a Hawaiian/Polynesian theme with food, drinks, music and Leis for all. Tickets range from $20-$59. For more information, visit www.coralgablesartfestival.com or call 305-812-7626.

February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

CONGRATULATIONS

2020

Watch for these adorable faces on our cover in the coming year… Dash Wojcik

S’ READERE CHOIC (TIE) Gavin Caballero

Kaitlyn Caballero

Cailyn-Ann Bruno

Zara and Zoya Samtani

Addilyn Beattie Jagger Peters Raina Jackson

RUNNERS UP From left to right: Marina Molina Myles Miller Christian Ortiz Sadie Archacki Natalie Fry Declan Paulding

COURAGEOUSkids RAISING CHILDREN WHO STAND UP FOR WHAT’S RIGHT BY MALIA JACOBSON

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ere’s an unwelcome fact: Most kids will experience bullying at school, even if they’re not directly involved as a victim or perpetrator. Studies show that 70 percent of students witness bullying at school and 35 to 60 percent are directly involved. What’s less certain is how those kids will respond to injustice. Will they have the moral courage to stand up for themselves or others? Can they do the right thing without a trusted adult there to coach them? When kids see a bully in action, we hope they’ll do what 11-year-old Henry did. When Henry, then 8, saw a peer mocking a classmate with disabilities and excluding her from a playground game, he told the bully to stop, calling out the actions as unfair and unkind, says his mom, Libby. Today’s school playgrounds need more of this type of moral courage, says Michele Borba, author of End Peer Cruelty, Build Empathy: The Proven 6Rs of Bullying Prevention That Create Inclusive, Safe, and Caring Schools. “Today, research shows that peer cruelty is escalating, personal entitlement is going up, while empathy is going down,” she says. “It’s discouraging.”

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At a time when most Americans feel the country’s values are declining — 77 percent agreed in a 2018 Gallup poll, the most negative rating since 2002 — how can we raise kids who show courage when it counts?

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF MORAL COURAGE For many, it’s hard to talk about moral courage without picturing those who helped Jews during World War II. Their photos, letters and accounts of experiences create an unforgettable lesson in moral courage. “There’s a story of a local Holocaust survivor who says that every day, someone he didn’t know slipped him a sandwich,” says Ilana Cone Kennedy, a Holocaust center director. “We hope kids will come away with a sense that their voice matters, and that their actions make a difference.” Learning about racial bias and genocide is an important part of social justice education for students and teachers alike, research shows. Researcher Kristen Renwick Monroe, PhD, studies the traits of those who helped Jews escape during World War II. Author of The Heart of Altruism: Perceptions of a Common Humanity, Monroe interviewed WWII rescuers and found they had a different self-image than bystanders (those who saw Jews in danger but did nothing) or Nazi supporters. Compared to bystanders and Nazi supporters, Monroe found that rescuers had a more broadly defined sense of identity, viewing themselves as part of a common humanity, instead of as a member of an exclusive group. Rescuers also had stronger sense of agency, while bystanders tended to have a weak sense of personal control over their lives. In other words, rescuers acted because they believed their actions mattered. Empathy is another cornerstone of moral courage. “I am convinced that empathy is the core to goodness,” says Borba. The ability to identify with another’s perspective, built from babyhood on through one-on-one interactions, closely bonded relationships and even reading, is an essential trait of those who stand up for others. Teaching kids to identify and name their emotions can help build empathy and moral courage, too. “When you teach emotional identification, kids learn, ‘He looks sad, I’ll go be a helper,’” says Borba.

WHAT ABOUT MY KID? It seems clear that when it comes to moral courage, parents or caregivers can’t simply count on chance. “Parents who raise good kids don’t do so by accident,” says Borba. “You have to be intentional about it.” But since moral courage often means doing the right thing when parents and teachers aren’t around, how can we know if kids are getting it right? Sometimes, kids share their experience of standing up for a peer or for themselves on the playground. But moral courage also shows up in smaller, less obvious ways. Look for things like honestly and personal responsibility, and encourage growth in those areas, says Richard Peterson, a childcare administrator. Watch kids as they play and interact with classmates, says Peterson. Are they easily influenced by others, or do they stand up to peer pressure? When children report wrongdoing (their own or that of others), take responsibility for their own actions, and show honesty, they’re displaying moral courage, he says. Other examples are doing homework or chores without being reminded or turning in something you found that doesn’t belong to you, he notes. “Even the simplest action, like picking up trash instead of stepping over it or leaving it for someone else to deal with, shows moral courage.” continued on page 12

BOOKS THAT BUILD MORAL COURAGE FOR READERS OF ALL AGES • What Happens Next by Susan Hughes (Owlkids) • Henry the Boy by Molly Felder (Penny Candy Books) • Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice by Marianne Celano, PhD, Marietta Collins, PhD, and Ann Hazzard, PhD (Magination Press) • The Proudest Blue: A Story of Hijab and Family by Ibtihaj Muhammad (Hachette Book Group) • Luca’s Bridge/El Puente de Luca by Mariana llanos (Penny Candy Books) • Martin & Anne, the Kindred Spirits of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Anne Frank by Nancy Churnin (Creston Books) • The Brave Cyclist: The True Story of a Holocaust Hero by Amalia Hoffman (Capstone Editions) • Brave by Stacy McAnulty (Running Press Kids) • Emmanuel’s Dream: The True Story of Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah by Laurie Ann Thompson (Schwartz & Wade/Random House) • I Walk With Vanessa: A Story About a Simple Act of Kindness by Kerascoët (Schwartz & Wade) FOR TWEENS TO YOUNG ADULT READERS • Wonder by R.J. Palacio (Knopf Books for Young Readers) • Diary of a 5th Grade Outlaw by Gina Loveless (Andrews McMeel Publishing) • Take the Mic: Fictional Stories of Everyday Resistance edited by Bethany Morrow (Arthur A. Levine Books) • We Are Lost and Found by Helene Dunbar (Sourcebooks Fire)

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“There are different roles we all can play — perpetrator, bystander, up-stander — If your child falls a little short on these and people can move from one category to measures of morality, or if you’d simply like Parents who raise the next,” she says. “It’s important to know to encourage moral growth, there’s good good kids don’t do so by which role you’re in for each situation, and news. New research shows that the traits we what you might be able to do differently.” accident. You have to be associate with moral courage — like empathy, Many effective anti-bulling programs self-control, and honesty — get stronger with intentional about it. have a strong peer advocacy element — in practice and effort. other words, they teach kids to stand up for In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, other kids — because this approach is proven psychologist Carol S. Dweck, PhD, wrote about to work. Research shows that when other kids her decades of research on intelligence and effort. intervene, most bullying stops within 10 seconds. Her now-famous research found that children with a Like any strategy, though, peer advocacy only works growth mindset — or the understanding that intelligence when kids have the skills and knowledge they need. could be developed through effort — were more successful than Eight-year-old Henry’s courage added fuel to the school’s those who believed that intelligence was fixed. ongoing dialogue around bullying, inclusion and playground These days, she’s applying this concept to the development behavior. His class started a sportsmanship club; another of moral traits like self-control. In one of her recent studies, third-grade classroom adopted an inclusive “You can’t say you Dweck found that preschoolers can learn to resist temptation can’t play” guideline for recess and after-school games. and delay gratification after listening to a story about it. When it comes to homegrown goodness, talking with your If, as Dweck’s research shows, good character can be taught, child about your values, and modeling those values yourself, then anti-bullying education programs in schools can help guide is hard to beat. growth. But it’s important that anti-bullying education doesn’t “Today’s kids are really facing an uphill challenge in relationship focus too narrowly on the role of the bully — a role few kids engagement,” says Henry’s mom, Libby. “We talk a lot at home identify with. Teaching kids about character means helping about our responsibility to try and make the world a better place. them understand all the ways people can contribute to or resist I’m very proud of the person Henry is and continues to become.” injustice, says Kennedy.

GROWING GOODNESS

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with adult admission. Value $6. Limit 1. Not valid with any other offer Expires 2/29/20 MD220

February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

Alone

TOGETHER TAKING TIM E FOR YOU RSELF ONC YOU BECO E ME A PAREN T IS NOT A LUXU RY â&#x20AC;&#x201D; BUT A NECESSIT Y BY PA M M O O RE

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was pregnant with our first child when my husband and I attended a friend’s 40th birthday party. Over thumping music and a Shirley Temple for me, we wished the guest of honor a happy birthday. “How does 40 feel?” my husband asked. “It’s good, but I’m tired,” said the friend, the father of two young kids. “I don’t remember the last time I slept through the night.” Our friend turned his gaze to his wife. Beaming in her direction, he told us how excited he was to spend the night at the swanky hotel down the street that night. “So fun!” I exclaimed. “The kids are with their grandparents overnight?” Our friend and his wife laughed, shaking their heads. “No,” she explained. “I’m staying with the kids so my husband can have the entire night to himself and wake up whenever he wants, in silence, totally alone.” “Too bad you couldn’t find a sitter so you could stay at the hotel together,” I replied. “No, this is actually the perfect birthday treat,” our friend insisted. I sipped my Shirley Temple and tried to make my face look as if I understood. Six years, two kids of my own, and countless sleepless nights later, I understand. As I’ve come to learn, taking time for yourself once you become a parent is not a luxury — but a necessity. Though it seems counter-intuitive, one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to step away from it, regularly and intentionally.

Because kids

Our kids absorb an incredible amount of our time and energy. Ironically, this is exactly why parents need to take time for themselves. Therapist Alex Hedger encourages parents to take breaks from the demands of both their children and their partner, in order to “prevent cracks appearing in either partner’s well-being — or the relationship.” Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, a certified life and relationship coach, describes those potential cracks as “regret and resentment toward your partner… You’ll find yourself giving your partner the angry side-eye and it’s all because you didn’t make time for you.”

While experts agree that downtime is crucial for both parents, therapist David Ezell argues it’s particularly important for women. He describes a client who mistakenly believes she should never be apart from her kids, a mindset that tends to be unique to mothers. “Not only is it horrible for the children — they need to learn mom can leave and come back — but it’s also likely to turn this highly educated, accomplished woman’s brain into mush. Children are wonderful but we all need a break from being asked why the sky is blue (for the 400th time).”

You’re still fascinating

Before you were someone’s mom, dad, husband, wife or partner, you were just you. Peel off all the labels and you’re still there, even if you’re buried under laundry and birthday party invitations. And you still matter. Vikki Ziegler, the author and divorce attorney best known for her starring role in Bravo TV’s Untying the Knot, calls prioritizing your own interests a chance to “nourish your soul.” Dating coach Corrine Dobbas calls it a time to “rejuvenate and foster [your] sense of self.” Whatever you call it, it is vital to stay in touch with what makes you uniquely you — the person your partner fell in love with in the first place. Hedger uses the analogy of a sports team to illustrate the importance of each half of a couple bringing their best self to the relationship. Just as a team functions optimally when each player brings his unique strengths to the game, “having time apart allows you to be true to yourself in a way that allows you to uniquely contribute when being part of the Relationship Team.” Dobbas agrees. Only when you stay in touch with yourself, she says, “can [you] show up in the relationship more present, confident and less stressed.” Not only do you bring greater energy to the relationship when you’ve had time to recharge, you also become a more interesting person to your partner. Marriage counselor and author Patricia Bubash says when each partner carves out time for their own interests, not only does it give them something to talk about, it also gives partners a chance to see each other “as interesting individuals, not just a wife [or] husband.”

The heart grows fonder

Whether you take an hour for a kickboxing class, an evening with friends, or a weekend to go on a yoga retreat, taking time apart gives you and your partner a chance to miss one another. Amy Bailey, a mom of three who has been married 16 years, says that while date nights are key, so is time apart. “There’s nothing that makes me miss home and my husband like not having him around,” she says. “And we take that time to send each other texts we wouldn’t want our kids to read, and by the time we see each other again — well… we’re ready to see each other again.” While it’s not always possible to get away for long stretches of time, Jenni Skyler, a certified sex therapist, encourages couples to be creative with the limited time they have. She says it is especially important for new moms to have what she calls “restorative, regenerative time” in order to show up to the relationship sexually. “For a lot of women, the ability to be aroused comes from having space for arousal to emerge,” she says, adding that because most women can’t just switch from “mom” to “lover” in the blink of an eye, having time alone is essential, even if it’s just 20 minutes to soak in the tub. Cunningham-Sumter says that even carving out a few minutes for chores like folding laundry or doing dishes by yourself “can be your time to turn on your music and just be with yourself.” While any time away from your partner can be helpful, research suggests time spent in solitude may be especially valuable, promoting relaxation and reduce stress. My husband gives me time to work out because he knows the more I exercise, the more pleasant I am to be around. Though he doesn’t necessarily care to hear about the way my leggings chafed or how my GPS lost its signal during my run, he does care that I’m still the athlete I was when we met. And I rarely deny his occasional request to take himself and his fantasy novel out for a beer and a burger. He always returns in a better mood than when he left. Because sometimes time alone is exactly what we need to come together.

Bump &

To help moms & dads navigate the journey of pregnancy and parenthood, here is a sampling of some of our favorite resources in and around Miami-Dade County. Maternity Hospitals Baptist Hospital

8900 N. Kendall Dr., Miami 786-596-1960 www.baptisthealth.net The Family Birth Place at Baptist Hospital was created with parents in mind with a warm and comfortable environment and specially designed birthing suites. The latest technology is readily available for mothers and newborns, and neonatologists are available 24 hours a day for babies who need extra attention. Programs for expectant parents include labor and delivery, breastfeeding and newborn care.

Homestead Hospital 975 Baptist Way, Homestead 786-243-8000 www.baptisthealth.net Homestead Hospital offers the comforts of home with the safety and security of a modern, technologically advanced hospital unit. Nurses are experienced in labor and delivery, newborn nursery and postpartum care. Anesthesiologists are available 24 hours a day and neonatologists are readily available for babies who require special, intensive medical care.

Jackson Health System • Jackson Memorial Hospital, 1611 NW 12 Ave., Miami, 305-585-4744 • Jackson North Medical Center, 160 NW 170 St., North Miami Beach, 305-654-5604 • Jackson South Medical Center, 9333 SW 152 St., Miami, 305-256-5382 www.jacksonhealth.org Jackson Health, designated by the World Health Organization and United Nations Children’s Fund as officially meeting Baby-Friendly standards, provides maternity care at Jackson Memorial, Jackson North and Jackson South locations. A variety of birthing options are available, and specialists in maternal-fetal medicine, neonatal care and critical care are always on hand if needed.

Kendall Regional Medical Center 11750 SW 40 St., Miami 305-223-3000 www.kendallmed.com Kendall Regional strives to provide individualized, quality maternity and newborn care with compassion and respect in a warm environment. The newly remodeled labor and delivery rooms offer a relaxing setting with state-of-the-art technology. The secured maternity unit features 12 labor and delivery rooms, operating suites and recovery rooms nearby, 23 private postpartum rooms, a nursery, an eight-bed Level II and five-bed Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

Mercy Hospital 3663 S. Miami Ave., Miami 305-854-4400 www.mercymiami.com The newly remodeled maternity wing at Mercy Hospital offers private birthing suites and spacious private postpartum suites with views of Biscayne Bay. The hospital’s Level II Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, special care nursery and an expert neonatologist are available 24 hours a day should the need arise. Mercy Hospital also offers childbirth education classes, lactation services, prenatal education, infant CPR and more.

Palmetto General Hospital 2001 W. 68 St., Hialeah 305-823-5000 www.palmettogeneral.com The recently expanded Maternity Care Center at Palmetto General Hospital provides comprehensive services for expectant mothers through every stage of pregnancy. The team is composed of board-eligible and certified physicians and an experienced, multilingual nursing staff. A number of maternity education classes, including Childbirth Preparation, Infant Breastfeeding, Newborn Care and Infant and Child CPR, are offered.

South Miami Hospital 6200 SW 73 St., South Miami, 786-662-4000 www.baptisthealth.net The Center for Women & Infants at South Miami Hospital is equipped with leading-edge technology and a team of highly skilled doctors, specialists and nurses to care for mothers and newborns from preconception to delivery. A Great Expectations program offers parents information about childbirth and parenting, and a Fetal Special Care and Maternal-Fetal Special Care Unit is available for high-risk pregnancies.

West Kendall Baptist Hospital 9555 SW 162 Ave., Miami 786-467-2000 www.baptisthealth.net

Beyond Equipped with modern technology and a skilled staff, the Beautiful Beginnings Family Birthing Place focuses on a patient- and family-centered care philosophy. The Beautiful Beginnings Program for Expectant Parents offers a variety of classes for new and experienced parents including childbirth preparation, breast-feeding, newborn parenting, epidural anesthesia, Cesarean births and infant CPR.

Adoption Resources A Child is Waiting

www.davethomasfoundation.org This free resource takes you through the typical steps to adopt, from thinking about which type of adoption is right for you to celebrating adoption day.

Childnet

Moms’ Groups MOMS Clubs

www.momsclub.org Connect with other moms in your neighborhood for social gatherings, playdates and more. Chapters exist in many communities, or get support to start your own club.

Mothers of Preschoolers www.mops.org Meet other like-minded moms through this international support network of Christian women with preschool children. Groups meet regularly at churches in Miami, Miami Springs, Palmetto Bay, Cutler Bay, Homestead, and other communities. Check their website for locations.

www.childnet.us 954-414-6000

Postpartum Depression

Florida Department of Children and Families

800-944-4773 www.postpartum.net

www.myflfamilies.com 866-762-2237

Florida’s Adoption Information Center www.adoptflorida.com 800-96-ADOPT

Forever Family www.foreverfamily.org 1-888-365-FAMILY

Breastfeeding Most hospitals offer breastfeeding classes, lactation specialists and support groups. In addition, check out these resources.

Breastfeeding Helpline 1-800-994-9662 www.womenshealth.gov National helpline offers support from trained breastfeeding counselors in both English and Spanish.

La Leche League www.llli.org Mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education.

Infertility Resolve

www.resolve.org A national nonprofit support group to assist couples dealing with infertility issues.

Medical Insurance Florida KidCare

888-540-5437 www.floridakidcare.org Free or low-cost health insurance for children, sponsored by the state of Florida.

Postpartum Support International Postpartum Support Online www.ppdsupportpage.com

Products and Services Namely Newborns

305-979-9357 www.namelynewborns.com Celebrate the newest addition to your family or create a special gift for someone else by selecting a product like a blanket, plush toy or towel, and personalizing it with baby’s name.

Support for Parents Family Central 10800 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami 305-749-8600 www.familycentral.org Not-for-profit agency offers childcare assistance, counseling, education, family therapy and more.

Start Coalition of Miami-Dade 7205 NW 19 St., Miami 305-541-0210 www.hscmd.org Serves as part of a statewide network of community-based organizations to reduce Florida’s high infant mortality and improve the lives of pregnant women and their families. The Coalition is responsible for the establishment and oversight of the Miami-Dade Healthy Start system, which includes directing local, state and federal funding and provides oversight to local community organizations that deliver direct services to pregnant women and families of newborns, continuous care coordination to pregnant women and children birth to age 3, evaluating services and the needs of the community, and quality assurance and improvement responsibilities.

February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

BEHIND BABY’S FIRST WORDS Helping toddlers speak may be as simple as striking up a conversation BY MALIA JACOBSON

“I love.” Those were 1-year-old Dylan Janes’s first words, spoken shortly after his first birthday. (Say it with me: Awww.) He was right on track, developmentally. According to the First Words Project at Florida State University, parents report that 12-month-olds say from one to three words. Like Dylan’s mom, Tiffany, most parents of babies have to keep the video camera constantly at hand because this milestone is as exciting as it is unpredictable. Nobody knows just when baby’s first words will tumble out. Nor does anyone know exactly what they’ll be — except maybe for baby. Dylan’s brain was probably practicing these sounds for months before he made his heart-melting statement, according to breakthrough research from the Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences (I-LABS) at University of Washington. As with this finding, neuroscience is providing insight into our understanding of language learning throughout childhood.

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SPEECH STUDY A study released last year suggests that infants’ brains are laying groundwork for early words and phrases as early as 7 months of age. Researchers used state-of-the-art brain scanning (called magnetoencephalography; it’s noninvasive and completely safe for infants) to record brain activity in the cerebellum, the part of the brain responsible for planning and coordinating the movements required for speech. Brain activation patterns in 7-month-olds and 11-month-olds indicate that their brains are hard at work on speech perception and speech movements long before the little munchkins actually speak. “What’s exciting is that we can now study early learning in a new way, using this technology,” says Sarah Roseberry Lytle, Ph.D., I-LABS director of outreach. “This imaging technology is completely silent and sits over the baby’s head like an old-fashioned hair dryer. It doesn’t require the baby to be completely still, and it doesn’t make noise that can upset them.”

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The critical phase for learning sounds happens in the second half of a baby’s first year.

This research helps support school readiness in several important ways, says I-LABS co-director Patricia K. Kuhl, Ph.D., a UW professor of speech and hearing sciences. “I-LABS is working to understand the sequence of events that helps children transition from sounds, to words, to sentences, and then to reading. We’re now working to understand the step-by-step changes in the brain that make the child ‘ready’ for reading.” The findings suggest that so-called “parentese” — that sugar-coated, exaggerated speech parents often slip into when talking to infants (“Hoooow’s my liiittle baaaaaaaayyyyybeeee toooodaaay?”) — can benefit their speech perception at a time when new brains are rehearsing mechanics for speech, Lytle says. This doesn’t mean using baby-talk or made-up words, she notes. It means speaking distinctly and slowly to help babies understand.

WHAT DOESN’T WORK Other new research in early learning holds some surprises for parents, too. “The critical phase for learning sounds happens in the second half of a baby’s first year,” Lytle says. If babies’ brains are particularly receptive to speech sounds during this developmental window, then hearing certain words and phrases over and over should boost language skills, and language-focused educational programming should be a baby-brain boon, right? Except, it isn’t. Research shows that “educational” videos and television shows designed to boost infant speech development just don’t. In fact, they can actually hurt speech acquisition. In one study, each hour per day of viewing baby DVDs was associated with a 17-point drop in word recognition for babies 8 to 16 months old. In other words, spending an additional seven hours per week parked in front of an “educational” DVD robbed six to eight words from a child’s vocabulary. That’s significant, because the average 11-month-old boy only recognizes 16 words, according to NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. In a study published in Pediatrics, viewing television from birth to age 2 didn’t correlate with gains in language or visual motor skills at age 3.

BRAINBUILDING So why do language-focused baby DVDs — even ones based on research and noble intentions — fail to deliver? According to NurtureShock, it may be because babies learn speech partially by reading lips, and most educational programming features disembodied voice-overs that don’t allow infants to pair the auditory signal with the corresponding facial cue. At 7 months, babies can begin to segment words they hear into phonemes, forming the building blocks of language. The caveat: They can’t perform this feat unless they’re looking at a face; if they hear a word while gazing at an abstract, it sounds like so much gibberish. So hearing the word “blocks” while looking at an image of blocks has less value than hearing — and watching — a parent say the word. So talking to your baby face-to-face is vital, and it has potential long-term implications in the acquisition and building of language and later academic success. But according to new research, it’s not enough just to send a barrage of words in baby’s direction in the parenting equivalent of a one-sided conversation. It’s important to pick up on baby’s cues, too. Researchers from New York University and the National Institutes of Health found that infants of mothers who responded to baby babble were a full six months ahead of those with less responsive moms. Echoing back a child’s vocalizations or picking up and naming an object that a child seems to be gesturing toward helps babies assign meaning to words, moving a baby toward fluent speech faster. In a Cornell University study, 9-month-olds with mothers who responded to baby babble in a back-and-forth, conversational way picked up and mimicked speech sounds faster than babies with less responsive moms. Another Cornell study found that “object labeling” in infancy — that is, pointing to an object and naming it after a baby’s gaze meets the object — is linked to increased vocabulary in toddlerhood. The well-documented “language gap” between toddlers with larger vocabularies and those with fewer words widens over time. To put the Cornell research into practice, observe what your baby is looking at (instead of what he’s trying to say, which is often misinterpreted, says Merryman) and name it: “That’s the kitty” or “See that tree?” Instead of wildly guessing about what a baby wants, it’s about following a child’s lead. Overzealous parents eager to stack the deck toward, say, a Harvard acceptance letter, take note: Researchers don’t recommend overstimulation. It’s not necessary to be in your baby’s face all day long. But responding and interacting naturally with baby in a conversational way has profound benefits, says Merryman. “Babies don’t need specialized toys or educational programming,” she notes. “They need responsive parents.”

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February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

FAMILY health

High on technology WHY TODAY'S TEENS ARE ADDICTED TO THEIR PHONES BY SANDI SCHWARTZ

lthough we are currently hearing a great deal about the opioid crisis in America, teen drug use is actually declining overall. A new study called Monitoring the Future by the National Institute on Drug Abuse indicates that teens are using fewer illicit drugs (other than marijuana) than they have in the past 40 years. This annual government-funded report measures drug use by teenagers in eighth, 10th and 12th grades. Specifically, the survey found that use of cigarettes and alcohol continued to show significant declines, reaching their lowest levels in the history of the study. Illicit drug use, such as cocaine, ecstasy, steroids and amphetamines, are all down. Use of marijuana has declined over the past decade for eighth- and 10th-graders even though it is more socially accepted. Although heroin use has become an epidemic among adults in some communities, it has fallen among highschoolers over the past decade. These findings are consistent with other studies that show steady declines over the past decade in drug use by teenagers. This surprising news has some scientists wondering what is causing this trend. One possible reason is that teens are replacing their need for drugs with technology, specifically their smartphones.

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A recent article in The New York Times explored the connection between the rise in technology use with the decline in drug use. The pattern is quite clear, and it has many experts anxious to explore this hypothesis in more depth. How Technology Is Like A Drug. Kids today are spending an exorbitant amount of time using electronics. A 2015 survey published by Common Sense Media found that American teenagers ages 13 to 18 averaged six and a half hours of screen time per day on social media and other activities like video games. In addition, a 2015 report from the Pew Research Center found that 24 percent of teenagers ages 13 to 17 reported being online “almost constantly,” and that 73 percent had a smartphone or access to one. What keeps them wanting to come back for more? So much of the interaction with technology can provide a dopamine high for our kids. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that gets released in our brain when we experience something positive. It essentially serves as a reward system. In the same way that drug users experience a dopamine high, experts are now finding that aspects of technology can also provide that same type of physical and psychological reaction. Due to the way smartphones stimulate our brains, we’re all

“carrying around a portable dopamine pump,” said David Greenfield, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and founder of the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction. Every time we post, share, like, comment or send an invitation online, we are creating an expectation to get a response from others, according to the Times article. When someone responds, we feel a sense of belonging and get a rush of happiness and excitement. Delaney Ruston, a physician who produced Screenagers, a documentary that explores the relationship between technology and childhood development, points to many studies that review MRI scans of the brains of kids who play 20 hours or more of video games per week. When the scans are compared to people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, their brains look quite similar. This rush is something that our kids notice and end up craving. It is also so much easier to get these positive feelings online instead of having to interact in person, such as asking someone out on a date or giving a friend a compliment — that takes courage and work. So, technology makes it so easy for our kids to get one dopamine high after another. Drug Addiction vs. Technology Addiction. In the article, Eric Elliott described his concerns about teens’ increased focus on technology. As a father and school psychologist for almost 20 years, he is more concerned about technology than drug use. While his daughter will pass on smoking marijuana, she will take her phone to bed with her. He has seen a decrease in drug and alcohol use among the students he counsels.

The students are more likely to have a challenge with being addicted to video games than drugs, which is a very different trend from when he began his career. There is no doubt that technology addiction is a real concern. A 2012 survey of 3,461 North American girls ages 8 to 12 found that high levels of media use (e.g., talking on the phone, communicating online, watching videos, and listening to music) were related to negative social wellbeing, while face-to-face communication was associated with positive social and emotional outcomes. Many researchers have also found that narcissism is on the rise, while empathy is on the decline. They point to social media as a reason for that trend. And with any addiction, experts agree that the result can involve such negative consequences as depression, anxiety, poor academic performance, and damage to relationships. So, how common is technology addiction? According to Common Sense Media, clinically it is actually quite rare. It may seem like your son or daughter is addicted to their phone and other gadgets, but odds are it is simply normal teenager behavior. Teens check their devices often and feel pressure to respond quickly to messages. Plus, their friends tend to take priority over everything else going on in their lives — something that has been going on for generations. On the other hand, drugs kill. I would choose the tech addiction any day over the alternative.

DISORDERS WE TREAT Allergic Rhinitis (Hay Fever) Anaphylaxis Asthma Atopic Dermatitis (Eczema) Chronic Cough and Breathing Difficulties Contact Dermatitis Drug Allergy Food Allergy Insect Allergy Oral Allergy Syndrome Pet Allergy Pollen, Mold & Dust Mite Allergy Sinusitis Urticaria (Hives)

Sandi Schwartz is a freelance writer/blogger and mother of two. She writes extensively about parenting and how to raise happy, balanced kids.

What Parents Can Do Besides cutting back on screen time, we can help shift our children’s attention to more positive ways to get a dopamine boost. All of these activities have been proven to make us happier and stimulate the production of dopamine and other feel-good chemicals in our brain. • SPORTS AND EXERCISE: Encourage your child to participate in sports, go on family bike rides or runs, or take them with you to the gym. • VOLUNTEER WORK: Our brain chemistry changes when we do something kind for another person. Get involved in community service projects as a family, or simply help a friend or neighbor in need. • AFFECTION: Research indicates the many positive effects of something as simple as a hug. Bringing more affection into your family’s day can help. • FOCUS ON A PASSION: Expose your children to inspiring hands-on activities like art, music, dance, writing, science and nature. When our children either discover something incredible that gives them a sense of awe or they create something from nothing, they get a happiness boost. • PLAY BOARD GAMES: If your kids are getting a boost of dopamine from their video games, set aside a tech break to play some “old-fashioned” board games. • LAUGHTER: One of the best ways to distract your kids from their gadgets is to get them giggling. There are many creative ways to bring comedy and humor into your home, from joke books to silly games to family contests and talent shows. Have fun with it!

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February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

HOME tech

Order in the house 7 GREAT APPS TO BETTER ORGANIZE PARENTS’ BUSY LIVES BY KERRIE MCLOUGHLIN

thought I was a fairly organized person. I handled myself well at work, got to my community college classes, knew where my ever-traveling fiancé was in the world at any given moment, and planned our wedding. Then came the kids. The level of organizational acumen needed to run a family caused me to have to step up my game. Here are some of the best free apps I use to simplify my busy household, from soccer practice to work deadlines to dental appointments. Google Calendar. Want to sync schedules, set reminders, add maps and details to appointments, as well as assign each family member a different color? Google Calendar does it all and more. You can even send schedules to email inboxes and print them out. Pinterest. You’re on a great website or blog and you want to remember the brilliant thing you just found. Enter Pinterest, your online organized-bulletinboard heaven. You can organize pins and boards any way you like, and some ideas include: recipes, home organization ideas, gift ideas, a board for each family member, travel, books, holidays, seasons, projects, crafts, and more. Pinterest is also amazing for discovering new things using the search bar or the main feed that pops up when you open the app. Evernote. Instead of jotting notes down on envelopes and napkins, Evernote is the perfect place to park all your thoughts and reminders, including links, photos, graphics and more. Think Pinterest but with notebooks instead of boards. You can create different notebooks for different purposes and share them. The search feature is a lifesaver. Manilla. Stop searching for lost papers! Manilla is a secure online filing system, so paper clutter is minimized. Everything is in one place: email, bills, documents, things

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like subscriptions and accounts. This app also allows you to set reminders. Cozi. Ever get to the grocery store and realize you left your list at home? With Cozi, that’s no longer a problem. Cozi will keep your store-specific lists along with the meal plans you also have stored in the app. My favorite part is the feature that lets me journal (goodbye, iPhone Notes). But Cozi is no one-trick pony: It will also keep your color-coded calendar and send you reminders via email or text. Check out the Cozi Today feature. Remember the Milk. This reminder app will take a load off your brain by letting you add all your tasks to it and then prioritize them. Then you can set alerts so the app will remind you about those tasks however you like: text message, email message, even

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a tweet! It includes a search feature and connects to Dropbox and Google Drive. Ringya. Oh, the endless communication that comes with having kids! School, sports, after-school activities, play dates and birthday parties all require far more messages than I feel like I can keep up with sometimes. Ringya makes it easy to create groups that you need to keep in contact with on a regular basis — and then quickly contact them all at once. Set up an event, reschedule, cancel and more. Now that you are armed with the best apps, get out there and rock this parenting gig! Kerrie McLoughlin is a seasoned homeschooling writer, and even with five kids, she is still a fairly organized person.

NEW EXHIBIT NOW THROUGH MAY 10

In Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood: A Grr-ific Exhibit children play, sing, explore and pretend in some favorite and familiar places from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Families can try a fun activity, share a memory and create grr-ific new ones on this beautiful day. Created by Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh in partnership with The Fred Rogers Company. DANIEL TIGER’S NEIGHBORHOOD © 2020 The Fred Rogers Company. All rights reserved.

980 macarthur causeway, miami, fl 33132 · 305.373.KIDS(5437) · miamichildrensmuseum.org Miami Children’s Museum receives both private and public funding. The Museum is sponsored in part by the City of Miami; the Miami-Dade County Department of Cultural Affairs and the Cultural Affairs Council, the Miami-Dade County Mayor and Board of County Commissioners; and the State of Florida, Department of State, Division of Cultural Affairs, the Florida Arts Council.

February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

SPECIAL needs

Banishing Bullying HOW TO SAFEGUARD THE CHILDREN WHO ARE MOST VULNERABLE BY MALIA JACOBSON

hen young Cody joined the peer-inclusion preschool at his neighborhood public school, he fit in from the start. His class was a mix of neurotypical (non-autistic) “peer mentors” and children with disabilities, including students like Cody with apraxia, a motor speech disorder that made communication complicated. The school’s curriculum encouraged understanding and advocating for students with disabilities, says Cody’s mom, and he felt accepted and included. Because the peer-inclusion program wasn’t offered after preschool, Cody enrolled in another local school for kindergarten. That’s when the bullying began. Cody began experiencing harassment and physical bullying nearly every day, mostly from students in his own class. When he reacted, he was punished by missing recess or simply sitting in “time out,” recalls his mother, an active member of the local Special Needs PTA. “We were getting four, five, six disciplinary notices every week, and I knew something was really wrong, because that wasn’t an issue at his other school.”

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Bullying at school is defined as disrupting or interfering with a student’s educational environment through intimidating, threatening or physically harming a student or the student’s belongings. It affects children with disabilities more often than other kids. While about 10 percent of neurotypical kids experience bullying, the number jumps five-fold for students with disabilities. Though bullying is harmful to all children, it’s especially hurtful for children with disabilities. Children with certain conditions that affect speech or communication may not be able to tell teachers or caregivers what they’re experiencing, making bullying harder to identify and correct, says psychiatrist David Camenisch. “A child with special needs who is bullied may internalize their distress, becoming disruptive at school or at home, developing feeding or toileting problems, or physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches.” And bullying doesn’t just harm the child being bullied. It negatively impacts students who observe it — the so-called bystanders — along with teachers and adults connected to the school.

“Bullying is insidious because it erodes feelings of confidence and safety not only for those directly involved in bullying but for bystanders, teachers and parents,” says Camenisch. School districts are starting to take notice. “In recent years, there’s been greater awareness and more education around what bullying is as it relates to students with disabilities, and the fact that students with disabilities have protections under the law,” says Jen Cole, a director of PAVE, a partnership organization that provides support and resources for individuals and families impacted by disabilities. All states have anti-bullying laws to protect kids. Students with an identified disability have added layers of civil rights protection via federally guaranteed right to a free, appropriate public education. Awareness of the impacts of bullying on multicultural and English-learning children with disabilities is also increasing, Cole says, thanks to the advocacy effects led by caregivers and organizations like Open Doors for Multicultural Families. “Students with disabilities experience a lot of intersectionality with identity,” says Cole. “That means that when a student with a disability is also transitional bilingual, English-learning, a student of color, or experiencing homelessness, they’re more vulnerable to bullying and also have less access to resources to help.” When it comes to bullying, caregivers for students with disabilities can’t afford to be unprepared, says Cole. “I encourage families to be proactive because it’s so hard when it happens and we are unprepared,” she says. One of the best ways to prepare: Make your child’s individualized education plan (IEP) or 504 plan part of your anti-bullying toolkit. “Make [harassment, intimidation and bullying] part of your student’s IEP meeting so that things like socialemotional growth and self-determination become something you’re talking about regularly with the school,” Cole says. Self-determination, or the student’s ability to voice his own needs and wants, can be a benchmark within an IEP plan, as well as a school-wide focus. “A healthy school climate is one in which everyone is actively working on skills like showing respect, being safe,

being responsible, and specific skills related to bullying, specifically selfdetermination — students learning how to speak up for themselves,” says Cole. While anti-bullying education is now common in schools, some programs are more effective than others. Peer advocacy — teaching students to stand up for others — can be one of the most effective methods, says Camenisch. “Bullies are more responsive to peers pointing out that their behavior is wrong than they are to adults.” Outside of school, caregivers can help encourage the growth of proactive social skills that help protect kids from bullying, says Camenisch. “Proactive social skills include the ability to identify and respond to bullying, situational awareness, and very fundamentally knowing ‘what is a friend.’” Camenisch recommends role-playing through potential playground interactions and reading books like Don’t Pick on Me by Susan Green as more ways parents can promote proactive social skills. A combination of peer advocacy and parent-to-parent education shifted the climate in Cody’s kindergarten classroom. His mother used social media and the classroom contact list to educate other parents about Cody’s condition and ask for their support. As the class learned more about disability and bullying, Cody’s primary tormentor ended up becoming a strong peer advocate. “It was an exhausting few months, but it made me aware of the resources that are available for things like this,” she says. Most importantly, Cody now feels accepted and included at his school, she says. “He absolutely loves his friends. He just wants to feel like everyone else.” Bullying isn’t a learning experience anyone wants for their child — it’s far too damaging and dangerous. “But addressing bullying can be very empowering for kids and for adults,” Camenisch says. “It can jump-start learning and give kids an opportunity to help others understand their unique challenges.” “It is possible to navigate this successfully,” he adds. “But it takes a team.”

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Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health and family journalist. February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

FAMILY man

Not too tough love A DAUGHTER’S FICTITIOUS EXAM TESTS A DAD’S PARENTING SKILLS BY RICK EPSTEIN

am in my favorite restaurant, sitting down to a farewell lunch for one of my staff, when my phone vibrates. It’s my 15-year-old daughter Wendy. The last time I’d seen her had been at 7 a.m. when she’d been too “sick” to get out of bed. “Dad!” she says, “I need a ride to school. There’s a really important French test at 12:45 and I have to be there.” My companions are eagerly studying their menus. “Aren’t you ‘sick’?” I ask Wendy. “I’m better,” she says. Maybe I should give up on lunch (although it promises to be delicious and enjoyable) and rush home, collect Wendy and get her to school just in time for the big test. But my role at lunch goes a little beyond shoveling in the grub. I’m the boss, so my job is to steer the conversation away from how great it would be to work somewhere else and to project an air of managerial benevolence. On the other hand, what’s more important than my daughter’s education? However, this is almost certainly a case of her

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pretending to be sick, and then making it my problem. The “important” French test sounds a little fishy, too. This is the first time she’s ever used that particular adjective to describe anything academic. Is there really a French test or is Wendy angling for a few magic moments in the corridor with her newly ensnared boyfriend? Feeling the Father of the Year Award slipping away, I say: “Sorry, I’m in the middle of something and can’t get away. Besides, your French teacher wouldn’t punish a poor sick child. She’ll let you take the test another day.” Wendy gives a little lion-roar of frustration, “Ahrrrrr!” Then she adds a forced “I love you” and hangs up. She might not love me that much if she could see what I get for lunch — a beef burrito the size of a fat Chihuahua, covered with cheese and garnished with chopped green onions. I hate to say it, but when it comes to eating Mexican food, I seem to have a natural ability, while Wendy is only comme ci comme ca at speaking French.

But seriously, with all my kids — and especially with Wendy — I find myself wondering exactly what level of service I should render. Usually my decisions are swayed by the presence of a beloved child. And this time my judgment is clouded by the scent of cilantro and visions of guacamole. But in fact, I don’t want to be so supportive as to destroy my kids’ resourcefulness and initiative. When I got home at 6 p.m., I found a note from Wendy saying she’d walked to school. That’s a distance of six miles along country roads. I phoned her to see if she’d survived. “I’m fine,” she said. “I’m at Brenna’s house.” “Well,” I said, “you know the rule: If you’re too sick for school, you’re too sick to go visiting. I know that sounds kind of stupid, since you just showed that you’re healthy enough to walk six miles.” “It was more like five miles; I took a short cut,” she said. “It was an adventure. I had to wade through a creek and plunge through sticker bushes. My jeans got caught on barb wire. Geese chased me and I ran across a field that had cows or maybe bulls in it. They stood and watched me. Good thing I wasn’t wearing red. They seem to be OK with hot pink.” Wendy had arrived at school 20 minutes before quitting time and told the attendance secretary she had overslept. “She sent me to eighth-period class — chorus. We sang Handel’s ‘Hallelujah.’” “They were probably glad to see you,” I said. “Maybe if you show on time tomorrow, the principal will sing ‘Hallelujah.’ I’m coming to pick you up.” She later told me that she’d been driven out of the house by boredom, not by French. Encouragingly enough, her boyfriend was at most a minor factor in the equation. I’ll admit to being scared about Wendy roaming the countryside risking harm from raging bulls or passing perverts, and it diminishes my control to have her realize that she can get somewhere on her own two feet. But I’m proud of Wendy and her adventure. Kids have too few of them nowadays.

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Rick Epstein is a freelance writer and author of two books, Rookie Dad and The Right Number of Kids. He has two other daughters in addition to Wendy the Adventurer.

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FebruaryEvents HOW TO SUBMIT CALENDAR LISTINGS

Please e-mail listing information to events@miamidadefamilylife.com by the 5th of the month prior to the event date. Include the name of the event, location, address, date, time, brief description, price and telephone number for the public.

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Discovering Design SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1

Little ones can learn about gallery design and gain curating skills during this free family day. Noon-3pm, THE WOLFSONIAN - FIU, 1001 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 305-531-1001 www.wolfsonian.org

Kids Night at the Museum FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14

Drop the kids off this Valentine’s Day for a night of museum exploration and hands-on activities. Dinner and a late night snack included. Ages 5-17. Pre-registration required. $60/child, $40/sibling. 6:30pm-midnight, PHILLIP AND PATRICIA FROST MUSEUM OF SCIENCE,

1101 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-434-9600 www.frostscience.org

Free Third Friday

Monster Jam

IT’S SHOWTIME! The Diary of Anne Frank THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6

The Olney Theatre Center’s National Players touring production presents the story of 13-year-old Anne Frank who goes into hiding from the Nazis. $45-$49. 8pm, AVENTURA ARTS & CULTURAL CENTER, 3385 NE 188 St., Aventura, www.aventuracenter.org

The Wizard of Oz OPENS FEBRUARY 6

Take a journey down the yellow brick road with Dorothy, The Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion during this live performance. A sensory-friendly show takes place on Feb. 15 and a Kids Fest Family Day is scheduled for Feb. 22. ACTORS’ PLAYHOUSE, 280 Miracle Mile, Coral Gables, 305-444-9293 www.actorsplayhouse.org

Miami City Ballet: Program Three

FRIDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14-16

Talented dancers from Miami City Ballet present a trio of ballets: Firebird, Nine Sinatra Songs, and Rodeo: Four Dance Episodes. $30-$110. Showtimes vary. ADRIENNE ARSHT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-949-6722 www.arshtcenter.org

Mutts Gone Nuts

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15

Canines and comedy collide as amazing four-legged performers unleash boundless talent. $35. 1pm & 3:30pm, AVENTURA ARTS & CULTURAL CENTER, 3385 NE 188 St., Aventura, www.aventuracenter.org

Illusions & Beyond A magical evening of grand illusions, comedy, M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

Unir

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20

The Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders showcase their dance talents with a high-energy, family-friendly performance. $35-$85. 7:30pm, BROWARD CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, 201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-462-0222 www.browardcenter.org

Monster Jam

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22-23

Monster truck mayhem includes breathtaking stunts and the awesome power of the world’s most popular Monster Jam trucks. Tickets start at $15. Saturday 7pm, Sunday 3pm. MARLINS PARK, 501 Marlins Way, Miami, www.monsterjam.com

Catapult

Kids can explore the museum, create crafts and participate in hands-on activities for free the third Friday of every month. 4-8pm, MIAMI CHILDREN’S MUSEUM, 980 Macarthur Causeway, Miami, 305-373-5437 www.miamichildrensmuseum.org

Family Day

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23

Families can enjoy free museum admission throughout the day and special hands-on activities including a Design Challenge from 2-4pm. THE BASS MUSEUM OF ART, 2100 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-673-7530 www.thebass.org

Jazz at MOCA

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28

A free, outdoor concert features jazz performers the last Friday of every month. MOCA galleries are open by donation from 7-10pm. Concert begins at 8pm. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART NORTH MIAMI,

770 NE 125 St., North Miami, 305-893-6211 www.mocanomi.org

Leap Year Day

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 29

786-573-5300 www.smdcac.org

Celebrate a day that only comes every four years with a leaping obstacle course, frog origami and other hands-on activities. 11am-4pm, MIAMI CHILDREN’S MUSEUM, 980 Macarthur Causeway, Miami, 305-373-5437 www.miamichildrensmuseum.org

Peking Acrobats

Bass Babies

See jaw-dropping acrobatic skills, amazing feats of balance, juggling, trick cycling and tumbling in this exuberant Chinese carnival. All ages. $20-$35. 3pm & 8pm, SOUTH

An art program for little ones designed to foster new discoveries in sensory awareness, creativity, and pre-literacy skills through hands-on activities. $15. Ages 2-4. 10:30-11:30am, THE BASS MUSEUM OF ART, 2100 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 305-673-7530 www.thebass.org

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23

Gifted dancers perform in this theatrical shadow illusion show. $25-$35. 4pm, SOUTH MIAMI-DADE CULTURAL ARTS CENTER, 10950 SW 211 St., Cutler Bay,

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 29

MIAMI-DADE CULTURAL ARTS CENTER,

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15

cirque acrobatics, stunning choreography and more. $10/non-resident, free/resident. 7:30-9pm, GATEWAY PARK, 151 Sunny Isles Blvd., Sunny Isles Beach, www.sibfl.net

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21

10950 SW 211 St., Cutler Bay, 786-573-5300 www.smdcac.org

| miamidadefamilylife.com

FRIDAYS

FAIRS, FESTIVALS & SPECIAL EVENTS Venardos Circus

THROUGH FEBRUARY 16

Be entertained by a talented group of acrobats and performers during this animal-free, Broadwaystyle circus under a big-top. All ages. THE PALMS AT TOWN & COUNTRY, 8268 Mills Dr., Miami, www.venardoscircus.com

Play Day

and lots of fun. Space limited. Pre-registration required. $50/resident, $65/non-resident. 6:30-9pm, THE NEWMAN ALUMNI CENTER AT UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI, 6200 San Amaro Dr., Coral Gables, 305-460-5600 www.coralgables.com

Coral Gables Festival of the Arts SATURDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8-9

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1

An event designed to encourage kids to get outdoors and play. Activities include outdoor games, music, arts and crafts, live performances and more. 11am-2pm, DORAL MEADOW PARK, 11555 NW 58 St., Doral, 305-593-6611 www.cityofdoral.com

The Best of Times Tombola 2020 FRIDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 7-9

A three-day festival featuring carnival rides, activities and more. BELEN JESUIT PREPARATORY SCHOOL, 500 SW 127 Ave., Miami, www.belenjesuit.org/tombola

There’s something for everyone at this event that blends seven festivals and features fine arts, a Kids Fest, fashion, a home show and more.

Make some memories at a circus-themed party that includes dinner, DJ music, dancing, photos

WEDNESDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19-23

A South Beach signature event with five days of food and fun at A VARIETY OF LOCATIONS. Visit website for details. www.sobewff.org SATURDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22-23

305-812-7626 www.coralgablesartfestival.com

Parents and kids learn the basics of a healthy lifestyle and cooking through hands-on experiences as part of the South Beach Wine and Food Festival lineup. $35/adult, $20/child, per day. 10am-5pm, JUNGLE ISLAND, 1111 Parrot Jungle Trail, Miami, www.sobewff.org

Miami Yacht Show

THURSDAY-MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13-17

Annual show includes a sprawling display of luxury yachts. $30/adult; free/children 12 and under. 10am-7pm, Thursday-Sunday; 10am-5pm, Monday. ONE HERALD PLAZA, Miami, www.miamiyachtshow.com

Slime Bash Miami

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 29-MARCH 1

An immense slime fest featuring slime contests, make your own slime, slime trading, entertainment and more. $20 and up. Saturday 10am-4pm, Sunday, 9am-3pm.

SATURDAY-MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15-17

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8

South Beach Wine and Food Festival

Fun and Fit as a Family

ALONG ALAHAMBRA FROM PONCE DE LEON BOULEVARD TO LE JEUNE ROAD, Coral Gables,

Coconut Grove Arts Festival

Daddy & Daughter Dinner Dance

with fun-filled activities. $15/per person, per day; free/12 and under. Saturday & Sunday 10am-6pm, Monday 10am-5pm. REGATTA PARK, 2700 S. Bayshore Dr., Miami, www.cgaf.com

A celebration of art featuring multi-media artists and art displays, culinary demonstrations, music, live performances and a Family Zone

MIAMI AIRPORT CONVENTION CENTER,

711 NW 72 Ave., Miami, www.slimebash.com

COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES Farmers Market

SATURDAYS, FEBRUARY 1, 8, 15, 22 & 29

Every Saturday through March families can peruse a market of fresh Florida produce and goods, and participate in free tai chi classes, gardening workshops and children’s activities. 8am-2pm, IN FRONT OF CORAL GABLES CITY HALL, 405 Biltmore Way, www.coralgables.com

Camping Under the Stars FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 7

Bring the family and your camping gear for an overnight adventure with a bonfire, marshmallow roasting and an outdoor movie. 5pm, DORAL CENTRAL PARK, 3000 NW 87 Ave., Doral, 305-593-6611 www.cityofdoral.com

Barnacle Under Moonlight Concert SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8

Kick back and listen to music by the bay the second Saturday of every month through May. $10/adult, $3/child. Gates open at 6pm. 7-9pm, BARNACLE HISTORIC STATE PARK, 3485 Main Hwy., Miami 305-442-6866 www.thebarnacle.org

Family Origami

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8

All ages are invited to learn simple folding techniques and enjoy relaxing activities. 4:30-5:30pm, NORTHEAST DADE-AVENTURA BRANCH LIBRARY,

2930 Aventura Blvd., Miami, www.mdpls.org

Furry Tales

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15

Kids can gain literacy skills and confidence while reading to a therapy dog. 11am-noon, DORAL BRANCH LIBRARY, 8551 NW 53 St., Miami, www.mdpls.org

Movie Night

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21

Bring your family for a flashlight-led stroll through the winding garden paths followed by a full-length featured flick in the Banyan Bowl. $5. Gates open at 6:30pm, movie begins at 7:30pm. PINECREST GARDENS, 11000 Red Rd., Pinecrest, 305-669-6990 www.pinecrestgardens.org

All ages. $75/adult, $35/child. 3-5pm, LOEWS MIAMI BEACH HOTEL,

1601 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, www.sobewff.org

Bike Ride with the Aventura Police SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23

The Aventura Police Department will guide riders of all ages along a safe bike route within the city. Event also includes giveaways, a helmet fitting, bike maintenance information and more. 10am, FOUNDERS PARK, 3105 NE 190 St., Aventura, 305-466-3883 www.cityofaventura.com

Movies at the Park FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22

Bring lawn chairs or blankets to watch a movie on a giant outdoor inflatable screen. 7:30pm, DOWNTOWN DORAL PARK, 8395 NW 53 St., Doral, 305-593-6611 www.cityofdoral.com

Tune up the bicycles and bring the kids for a bike ride along a family-friendly loop. 9-10:30am,

Family Kayak Adventures

Community Bike Ride

MIAMI LAKES YOUTH CENTER,

6075 Miami Lakes Dr., Miami Lakes, www.miamilakes-fl.gov

Family Ice Cream Social SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23

Sample some cool and creative treats from local businesses while having some fun in the sun at this event hosted by Duff Goldman. The social is part of the South Beach Wine and Food Festival lineup.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 29

Learn the basic techniques of kayaking and paddling while taking a guided tour around Biscayne Bay. $15. 9-11am, THALATTA ESTATE, 17301 Old Cutler Rd., Palmetto Bay, www.naturepostings.com

LAKES BRANCH LIBRARY,

15205 SW 88 St., Miami, www.mdpls.org

Food Truck Tuesdays TUESDAYS

Skip the cooking and choose from an array of food trucks, with selections sure to please the entire family. The evening also includes bounce houses and children’s activities. Weather permitting. 5-9:30pm, HAULOVER PARK, 10800 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, 786-287-6688 www.miamifoodtrucksevents.com

Chess Club

TUESDAYS & WEDNESDAYS

Players of all ages can learn chess skills during free instructional classes and open play. 4-6pm, BETTY T. FERGUSON RECREATION COMPLEX, 3000 NW 199 St., Miami

Gardens, 305-622-8080

WANT MORE FUN? For additional local events, check our online calendar at www.miamidadefamilylife.com

A Bookish Craft Time SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 29

Create a craft inspired by a book. Ages 5-12. 3:30-4pm, KENDALE

Every effort has been made to provide accurate information. Changes and cancellations do occur. Please double check the details before setting out on your adventure.

February 2020 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

WORDS of wisdom

Birth Day Gift IT COMES WITH A SURPRISE… AND ENDS WITH A SMILE BY KARA MARTINEZ BACHMAN

can’t believe that almost two decades have passed since my water broke. It was my first child. I’d had no idea what to expect. It happened at around 5 a.m. My husband and I were living in a small rural town, where the only hospital was a little old country-style facility that didn’t have a labor and delivery ward to speak of. I’d made the decision to deliver at a bigger hospital 40 minutes away. As it is with most first-time expectant moms, I’d imagined the “big day” as a smooth, ideal affair. It didn’t turn out that way. Making the drive with my “water” already broken was the first thing that panned out differently from the idyllic fantasy. It was all so hectic. It was happening a week early! The labor pains were coming hard and heavy, undulating waves of contractions that already seemed a little too painful so early in the process. Since I had never given birth, I didn’t yet have the hindsight to know what I now know as a mother of two: It was all normal. It is normal that giving birth is no walk in the park. There was no need to panic. Before heading out, we stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank and let my husband get a cup of coffee. I was worried about the stop. And he seemed to be… lollygagging! I nagged at him. Heck, I yelled at him. Time was being wasted! What if I delivered in a car, the way it sometimes happens to fictional moms on TV? “We’re having a baby! We’re having a baby!” I later learned he’d told the long-time gas station attendant, with whom he’d often chatted when getting gas. She peered out the window and smiled, waving at me with excitement while I sat worried and anxious in the car, my baby boy gone completely still. For the attendant, it seemed a big deal. A new life coming into the world is always a big deal, and people love somehow being a part of it, even if just waving it on through a window with the exuberant hope that new life can inspire. The labor was fairly long; my son was born at 7:43 that evening. That’s a lot of contractions. A lot of waiting. A lot of annoyance. A lot of worry. A lot of pain. It was also all completely worth it. I say that to myself again and again throughout the years. I said it as my son first rode a bicycle, and when he learned

B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

| miamidadefamilylife.com

to play guitar, so I could enjoy his music. I especially said it last year, when he graduated from high school. There were other issues with the birth. A failed epidural. A touch of jaundice in the baby. No pregnancy is without issues. All sorts of problems will crop up, bursting the bubble of what you imagine parenting to be. My son is in college now and these problems still crop up. They always will. Parenting is forever. A fun note about that momentous birth day is that about a decade later, my son and his father returned to that tiny town where we’d lived when my son was born. They went into the gas station, and the very same attendant was still working there. She didn’t recognize them after so many years, but he reminded her that she’d been a memorable part of that special day, and she suddenly remembered. She smiled big. That’s what the hope and promise of a baby’s birth always brings: big smiles, even many years later. Kara Martinez Bachman is an author, journalist and editor of magazines, newspapers and books. Among her favorite writing topics is… any guesses?… her two children.

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Sunday, March 15, 2020

11am-3pm at Tree Tops Park, Davie

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Our Lady of Lourdes Parish School

PK3 - 8th Grade Catholic School Visit Us Today Our mission at Our Lady of Lourdes is to promote excellence in spiritual, academic, social and physical growth. We invite you to visit our beautiful campus and find out what makes Our Lady of Lourdes Parish School the right choice for your child. Tour our 15 acres of land offering state of the art facilities/technology and learn about our superior athletic and extracurricular program offering 23 competitive sports teams and 19 extracurricular activities.

“Our job is to prepare your children for heaven. If they make it to Harvard, that’s a bonus.” Mr. Thomas Halfaker, Principal

Schedule your private tour today

Private tours are offered on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and take approximately 30 minutes. Operated by The Archdiocese of Miami Accredited by The National Council for Private School Association and Florida Catholic Conference Member of National Catholic Educational Association and All Catholic Conference Athletic League

Registration for School Tours is required. www.jaguarfamily.com

14000 SW 112 Street, Miami, FL 33186 | (305) 386 8446 /OLOLParishSchool @olol_ jaguars www.jaguarfamily.com