Miami Dade Family Life November 2019

MIAMI-DADE

COMPLIMENTARY

NOVEMBER 2019

party time A PRIMER FOR PLANNING PICTURE PERFECT CELEBRATIONS

tweets,texts & EMOJIS

HOW TODAY’S SHORTHAND COULD HINDER KIDS' DEVELOPMENT

TURKEY DAY

Revolutions INNOVATIVE WAYS TO ENERGIZE THIS YEAR'S THANKSGIVING

EXPERT PARENTS CHOOSE US

When you choose UHealth Jackson Children’s Care, your child receives the combined expertise of pediatric specialists from both UHealth – University of Miami Health System and Jackson Health System.

Our pediatric network includes Holtz Children’s Hospital, Primary, Specialty, Urgent, and Emergency Care throughout Miami-Dade County. We are one of the largest and most comprehensive networks of pediatric healthcare providers in the Southeast United States.

Expert parents know their child will get the best treatment when they choose UHealth Jackson Children’s Care.

To learn more, visit ExpertKidsCare.org.

For a pediatric specialist, call 305-585-PEDI (7334).

contents

NOVEMBER 2019

departments 6

MIAMI & MORE News about the people, places and events in our community.

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MOM MATTERS A mother’s epiphany brings a new-found perspective on parenting.

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FAMILY MAN A chef’s 10-step guide to the heart of Thanksgiving dinner.

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FAMILY HEALTH How text-speak is dumbing-down our kids’ development.

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FAMILY DYNAMICS What to say when your child asks “how many genders are there?”

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SPECIAL NEEDS 8 great apps to help kids master specific skills.

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CALENDAR OF EVENTS Entertaining and noteworthy things to see and do in every corner of Miami-Dade County.

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WORDS OF WISDOM There’s always something to be grateful for in your kids’ shenanigans.

features

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TURKEY DAY REVOLUTIONS Banishing the bird ... and other non-traditional holiday traditions.

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PARTY TIME

ON THE COVER:

It may be holiday party season, but the birthday party happens any time of the year.

You’ll want to open our party primer package before planning your next shindig.

Dylan Friedman, 6, of Plantation A Cover Angels winner

| miamidadefamilylife.com

Photographer: Lisa Nalven

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MIAMI

Book Fair Bonanza AUTHORS GALORE — AND SOME NOVEL FUN FOR FUTURE READERS, TOO

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he authors who cater to children and young adults may be the family-friendly stars of the show, but the Miami Book Fair is a ton of fun for early and future readers, too.

The Children’s Alley, offering free admission to guests on Friday, features storytelling, characters, face-painting, music, dance and interactive activities Nov. 22-24, 9am-dusk, at Downtown Miami MDC Wolfson Campus. There, the Fun Room is headquarters for a bonanza of events, including hands-on, ocean-themed activities; art-making inspired by children’s books; a musical journey to discover instruments from around the world; maker-centered learning activities with cutting-edge tech tools; and — just for tots — singing, dancing, painting and learning yoga poses with storybook characters.

And that’s just on the morning of the first day!

Among the children’s authors appearing are Edwidge Danticat, whose My Mommy Medicine picture book considers the comfort a mama offers to her ill child; Susan Choi, author of Camp Tiger, a joyful ode to growing up; and Thyra Heater, author-illustrator of How Do You Dance, a happy-feet celebration of personal expression.

For young readers, there is Kadir Nelson, the Newbery Awardwinning author of The Crossover; George O’Connor, best-selling author and illustrator of the “Olympians” graphic novel series; Jamaica Kincaid, author of the beautifully drawn adventure story, Party: A Mystery; Jarod Roselló, a Cuban-American cartoonist whose Red Panda & Moon Bear features two Latin kids battling supernatural threats to their working-class neighborhood; and Mark Kurlansky, author of Bugs in Danger: Our Vanishing Bees, Butterflies, and Beetles, whose title says it all.

The 36th Miami Book Fair is at 300 NE Fourth St. Admission Saturday-Sunday is free/children 12 and under, $5/13-18 and seniors, and $10/adults. For more information, visit www.miamibookfair.com

LIGHTING UP THE JUNGLE When you hear the word “luminous,” “jungle” is probably not the first thing that pops into your mind. Jungle Island’s radiant new exhibit may just change that.

Through Jan. 8, 2020, Luminosa Festival of Lights illuminates the nighttime jungle with 34 giant, beautifully intricate lantern exhibits, glowing with over 1 million LED lights and handcrafted by Chinese artisans out of 11 miles of colorful silk. Towering flowers, striking silk parrots, a sea of glowing jellyfish, the world’s rarest animals — and a distinctive Miami flair — are all aglow in the installation.

A journey through light across 13 of the Miami eco-adventure park’s 18 acres, Luminosa’s magical story transforms from the jungle’s natural wonders into the Magic City’s vibrant urban art identity — a panoramic interpretation of an iconic Wynwood destination and a South Beach art deco scene decked out in Chinese graffiti art.

“Luminosa at Jungle Island is certain to be one of the most Instagram-worthy and talked-about events of the season,” says Curtis Crider, Jungle Island’s general manager.

“Between the rich history behind the festival and its beautiful pageantry within a junglelike setting, this must-see installation is a celebration of two cultures coming together and the rebirth of an iconic South Florida attraction.”

Jungle Island is at 1111 Parrot Jungle Trail. Tickets are $35.95/adult and $30.95/child.

For more information and a 20-percent discount on tickets, visit www.jungleisland.com

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Helping the hungry What better season for families to give thanks by helping the 237,340 people in Miami-Dade County — almost 10 percent of the population — who don’t know where their next meal will come from?

One way to pass that spirit forward is to get the young ones involved. Feeding South Florida, the region’s leading domestic hunger-relief organization, offers several volunteer programs for kids age 5 and older to do just that.

Whether it’s hosting a one-time Food + Fund Drive, volunteering or participating in the Youth Ambassador Program, there’s a way for young people and families to assist the agency in serving 25 percent of the state’s food-insecure population.

Youth Ambassadors serve as the agency’s advocates and provide on-the-ground information about current trends in schools and their peers’ needs. Also, on the second Saturday of every month, on Family Philanthropy Days, Feeding South Florida reduces its volunteer minimum age from 12 to 6, giving younger kids a hands-on chance to help their community. Families work in the agency’s sort room while learning about the issue of hunger in South Florida.

The Birthday Parties program offers a fun and unique way to celebrate a child’s big day and teach them about giving back at the same time. This three-hour party includes a volunteer experience, lunch and birthday cake, balloons, a card, and happy birthday wishes via a social media post. Sponsorship is required.

Of course there are more traditional ways to help. Donations of food and other goods are accepted at the agency’s warehouse, 2501 SW 32 Terrace, Pembroke Park.

And monetary donations can be made on its website, www.FeedingSouthFlorida.org.

The agency says it can provide six meals for every $1 donated.

at

Children, ages 6-14, can explore and learn from nature at Deering Estate’s Winter Camp!

Six, one-day sessions: December 23, 26, 27 & 30, 2019; January 2 & 3, 2020 7:30 am – 5:00 pm Cost: $45 per session. Register online or call 305-235-1668 ext. 233.

Deering Estate 16701 SW 72 Avenue Miami, FL 33157

To request materials in accessible format, sign language interpreters, and/or any accommodation to participate in any Miami-Dade Parks-sponsored program or meeting, contact Mary Palacios, 305-755-7848 or Mary.Palacios@miamidade.gov, at least 7 days in advance to initiate your request. TTY users may also call 711 (Florida Relay Service).

November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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TURKEY DAY

… AND OTHER NON-TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY INNOVATIONS

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hen we think of Thanksgiving, our thoughts naturally drift to traditional roast turkey, pumpkin pie and family gatherings. But if the holiday feels more like a tired list of hohum obligations rather than an energizing way to revel in your blessings, maybe it’s time to revolutionize your Thanksgiving this year.

But, no one in the family really likes turkey all that much.

“We spent years making the traditional feast, but always had a second or third ‘main side’ for the kids and that was just silly,” she says.

King says her husband, Rich, does most of the cooking and decided one year to punt the turkey and try a roast

The couple sends out invitations about two to three weeks in advance and friends can select a time when they’d like to fry their turkey — or, in some cases, their chicken, game hen or duck.

Many guests just show up to socialize and enjoy beverages and light appetizers, often bringing their own to share.

“This varies from cinnamon rolls and

Eat this, not that. “Thanksgiving is absolutely one of our favorite holidays, especially in terms of food,” says Caroline King, a mom of six children between 4 and 16.

pork tenderloin with chipotle wine sauce instead.

“Everyone loved it — the adults and the kids,” she says. “Now, it’s our go-to for Thanksgiving.”

Choose your own adventure. Jocelyn Chilvers says she and her husband, Jim, enjoy being spontaneous and creative with the holiday.

“It also helps that we like all kinds of food and find no appeal in eating the same dishes year after year,” Chilvers says.

With families more far-flung than ever, not everyone is able to get together with extended family for the holiday.

That’s one reason the Chilvers family chooses to surround themselves with good friends instead.

For over 10 years, they’ve invited friends and neighbors over for a “Turkey Fry Open House” in their backyard from 9:30am to 3pm on Thanksgiving day.

“We set up a turkey fryer on our lawn or driveway, away from any structures, and use a piece of drywall — pro tip! — as a base to catch any spills,” Chilvers says.

fresh fruit in the morning to stuffed jalapeños and bruschetta in the afternoon,” Chilvers says. “It’s a very fluid event with folks coming and going throughout the day.”

No bluffing, baby. Some friendly competition in the form of board games and card games can bring generations of family members together.

Anita Smith, a mom of two, says that she and her family like to play Texas Hold ’Em each year after the big meal.

Among the roughly 30 guests who attend the family’s annual Thanksgiving, about 10 like to circle around the card table to play a few hours of low-stakes poker. “The big pot might be $3, but we act like it’s $500,” laughs Smith.

The conversation and camaraderie make the game extra special.

“It’s fun because it crosses all generations,” she says. “We have the 80-year-olds, those of us in our 40s, and the kids playing.”

Smith’s sons, Evan, 15, and Collin, 12, are the youngest players at the table. She says that the game offers a natural segue

FIRST THANKSGIVING FUN FACTS • The Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe celebrated the first Thanksgiving for three days in 1621.

• Potatoes and sweet potatoes weren’t on the menu.

• Pumpkin pie, made with pureed pumpkin, hadn’t been invented.

• Although they ate cranberries, cranberry sauce wasn’t introduced until 50 years later.

• Historians say the group dined on waterfowl and venison, not turkey.

Source: Pilmoth Plantation, pilmoth.org

REVOLUTIONS

BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES

into conversations between the older family members and her children.

“My kids get to know them, their personalities and stories from way back when.”

Fire up holiday spirit. Stacey Moorehead, a mom of six girls, says she and a group of families started the tradition of “Friendsgiving” five years

show begins,” Moorehead says.

The much anticipated “real show” is a fireworks event at a local lake.

“We all load up, pack candy canes and spend the evening watching fireworks,” Moorehead says.

After that, the caravan drives through a park holiday lights display set to festive music at a nearby campground.

a relaxing family outing on the beach instead.

“It seems that a lot of people live under unrealistic expectations, especially when it comes to holidays,” King says. “The focus needs to be on family celebrating what they are thankful for, not to be stressed out that the green beans aren’t up to snuff. Make food that makes

ago on the day before Thanksgiving.

The event is a fun way for the families to kick off the entire holiday season.

The group gathers together with fall soups and foods, and the kids take part in a candy-cane hunt.

“Our many, many children all have a great time playing and running in our friends’ large back yard until the real

“What better way to start the holiday than with friends who truly are family!” she says.

Families change and grow. Often what once worked well no longer makes sense for any number of reasons. Maybe you’re sick of making candied yams every year that no one eats. Or you daydream of skipping the cooking and cleaning for

you happy, make your own traditions. At the end of the day, you will remember the laughs and time spent together.”

So rather than running yourself into the ground chasing society’s prescribed picture-perfect holiday, create a meaningful Thanksgiving tailored just for your special crowd. You may find one more thing to be grateful for.

Fuel your healthy lifestyle.

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Check your local listings on AllHealthTV.com November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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It will soon be fa-la-la season for holiday parties, but there’s one celebration that happens any time of the year — the birthday party. Some parents may aspire to throw a bash for their child like pre-divorce Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did in 2006 for their Suri’s second (!) birthday, splurging $100,000 on fresh flowers ($17,000), Wolfgang Puck catering ($45,000), a $5,000 cake — not to mention other extravagances like filling the house with 1,000 butterflies! But most of us don’t sail in that stratosphere. That’s where our party primer comes in, brimming with helpful steps to a fun but sane celebration, whether planning a party at home or trying to find an entertainer or the perfect party place.

There’s also advice on proper party preparations and etiquette, and how to strike just the right tone for those persnickety teen celebrations. So, all together now: “Happy Birthday Party to you…”

Birthday Party Primer Avoid these planning pitfalls for a zero-drama bash

BY MALIA JACOBSON

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t happens all too fast: One minute, you’re wiping up the crumbs from the first-birthday cake smash. A few whirlwind years later, your precocious preschooler brings home a stack of birthday party invitations penned by parents you’ve never met. Party evites invade your inbox and group texts detailing last-minute party plans zip back and forth with the urgency of national security missives. Your child has hit the birthday party scene, and it’s hoppin’.

Kid birthday parties are big business — the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions reports kids’ party venues charge an average of $370 per party.

Add in decorations, food and favors, and costs can easily top $500, so it’s understandable that parents want to get it right.

Easier said than done, though. Parents bring different expectations, cultural norms, communication styles and budgets into the party-planning process, and etiquette

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can fall through the cracks, says Jacqueline Whitmore, an internationally recognized etiquette expert, author and founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach. And with 73 percent of parents preferring to send online invitations, according to online stationer Punchbowl, the increasingly paperless world of party communications leaves room for etiquette missteps.

While there’s no formula for the “perfect” party, avoiding these party-planning pitfalls keeps the focus where it belongs — celebrating your not-so-little-one’s big day.

RSVP Reframe In today’s uber-connected world, responding to party invites has never been easier; email, texting, or simply checking a box on a web-based evite takes all of 30 seconds. But these days, continued on page 14

8 Steps to Sane Soirees

BY K E R R I E M C LO U G H L I N

It seems like kids’ birthday parties are getting more and more out-of-hand, with parents trying to top each other to win some non-existent “Most Elaborate Party” award!

It can be difficult — if not impossible — to keep up with the intricate, expensive and often highly structured parties that are thrown by our child’s friends and classmates.

Whether your child is in school, home-schooled or not yet even in preschool, the politics of birthday parties affect everyone. Save your sanity and stay out of the Poor House by considering these eight options.

Realize that you don’t have to invite the whole world to an expensive gathering. One of my favorite parties growing up consisted of about five friends at an ice cream parlor. You could save up for something special and a little more costly every few years, like taking five friends to an amusement park. If you’re having the party in your spacious backyard, by all means invite your child’s entire class. But …

If you have a small home or apartment, you might invite guests to a park shelter that you reserve in advance. Bonus: You don’t have to clean your home before or after the party!

Of course, some of the kids in your child’s class may have their feelings hurt if they aren’t invited, but we all have to get used to rejection sometime, right? The unspoken rule in most classrooms is that kids shouldn’t talk about upcoming birthday parties so those who were not invited won’t get their feelings hurt.

Don’t make your child feel like she has to invite kids to her party just because she attended their party. Either set a limit on the number of invitees or have your child really think about who her friends are and who she would want at her party.

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For teens, it’s all about the tone B Y K AT H R Y N S T R E E T E R

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ost parents would agree that birthdays are a fairly easy win when the kids are young. Not without great effort and frenzied busyness, for sure, but more straightforward.

Star Wars? Avengers? Minions? Trolls? Piñata? Done! Whatever the theme requested to anchor the party, it was probably doable, right? But once the tween/teen years hit, things turn a corner and you may find yourself pining for the good ol’ days of predictable, even dare I say, cookie-cutter-type parties that wowed your kids when they were little.

As mine sprouted from tot to teen, I realized the party was just going to have to change to simple but significant, something requiring grave circumspection. In short, my teens wanted to be recognized as young adults, to shed all childish fanfare. I’d wager that yours will probably feel somewhat the same. Here are a few things I learned in feting my teenagers over the years, which may help you strike the right tone each and every birthday: Insist on your teen making a gift list. It may sound babyish but it saves lots of heartache and disappointment. After a recent birthday, my teen lamented that lists were probably still a good idea. His comment reflected what we perceived: We thought we were hitting it out of the park in the gift department but, oh no, we failed. If your teen refuses to make a list, go easy on yourselves and opt for store credit. Or cash. There, I said it. Cash is always going to be fine with your teen. And when grandparents are eager to shower their affection, help them by advising against buying clothing for your teen. It rarely works, if ever.

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Build the suspense. Don’t tell everything. Hold back some details. Our daughter wanted a “family dinner” for her 15th and left all the planning and plotting to us. Without saying it, she was begging to be surprised, which put no small amount of pressure on her parents. In this case, we lucked out and struck the right tone, starting the evening off by giving her a dress she’d pointed out at her favorite store. Then, all dressed to the gills, we headed to a fancy restaurant. She felt like such a young lady in her new dress, showing up at a restaurant where reservations were made in her name.

Pair your teen’s interest with an event. What is the one thing your teen loves to do more than anything else? Maybe it’s an intense interest or hobby? Think creatively about how you can celebrate it. Does your teen love soccer? Take her to a professional game. Does your teen love to cook? Buy cooking classes. Perhaps your teen is an aspiring writer? Or computer programmer? With a little digging around, you’ll probably find workshops and lectures in your area.

Think the unthinkable. Keep in mind that your teen’s greatest wish for their birthday may be to get away, far away from you to visit their BFF who moved away. Gulp. Don’t take it personally! If it’s at all possible, arrange well in advance for a surprise weekend trip, searching long and hard for plane or train tickets. But when it’s not, bring those missed into the room by suddenly pulling up a prearranged FaceTime party meet-up.

Trust me, the Happy Birthday song will sound so much better with a crowd of voices bellowing out of your computer accompanying those in the room.

SPLASHTACULAR BIRTHDAY PARTIES! Make new friends when you party with Lolita the Orca, TV superstar Flipper, Salty the Sea Lion and all your marine animal friends. It’s the no-hassle way to give your birthday child the party of a lifetime! For reservations, call 305-365-2507 today.

NEW Touch Pools!

Party package includes a party area with decorations, kid-friendly lunch, personalized cake, costumed character visit (weather permitting), admission to all shows and exhibits and much more.

miamiseaquarium.com LOCATED ON RICKENBACKER CAUSEWAY, JUST MINUTES FROM DOWNTOWN MIAMI.

PARTY ON! We make planning your child’s birthday a piece of cake.

For details, visit frostscience.org/birthdays.

Call 305-434-9564 or email birthdays@frostscience.org.

1101 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami, Florida 33132, Miami, FL 33132 November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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Party Primer

Skip the Sibs

continued from page 10

As soon as invitations go out, the “siblings welcome?” queries come in. And some parents will show up with their entire brood in tow. This stressful scenario stretches party budgets and hosts’ patience, because some parties are simply more enjoyable on a smaller scale.

“We do small birthday parties at our house, and if a child comes with a sibling or two and both parents, the party triples in size for food, gift bags and activities,” says Gretchen Coulson Smith, mom of two.

Party activities aren’t always well-suited to younger sibs, says Chang. Her parties can involve experiments with chemicals; though not toxic or dangerous, they’re not designed for toddlers. “We put a minimum age on those party invitations, for safety reasons,” she says.

Avoid this sticky subject by clearly addressing paper invitations to the invited child, says Whitmore. This gets trickier for evites, which may Tiny Glitterati not allow senders to specify A top parental pet peeve: which child the invite is for.

Supersized (or super-spendy) In those cases, a quick email soirees that make your casual or text with “We hope Ameila neighborhood cupcake-and-juice can attend Jake’s party!” fete look ho-hum by comparison. can spare an awkward “I’m tired of over-the-top back-and-forth later on. parties that make my kiddos On the other hand, “the wonder why we don’t spend five If your child has special needs or special dietary restrictions, let more the merrier” parents grand on their birthday,” says the party host know when you RSVP. When you’re the host, ask can let guests know that mom of three Lynne Williams. parents of children with special needs how you can make their sibs can attend with a simple child more comfortable; if you’re not sure which children may need “We went to one a few years ago “siblings welcome!” note on accommodations or special foods, check with your child’s teacher. that had two bouncy houses, Parents of children with restricted diets often assume that party the invitation. When you’re not hired entertainment, catered food will be off-limits to their child, and may bring their own; if party sure — because of limited space food, full bar, craft projects — all fare will be allergen-free, let parents know on the invitation. at your venue, for example — for a 3-year-old.”

Party locales that tend to be accessible for guests with mobility write “please inquire about While budget size and guest limitations include children’s museums, bookstores (some have party siblings” to head off surprises. list are personal preferences, or meeting rooms), libraries, craft stores, and accessible parks and And if siblings aren’t on the you can skip some stress (and playgrounds. A simple park outing, arts-and-crafts party, or storytime guest list, consider making the save some green) by focusing celebration makes for a manageable soiree that’s enjoyable for all. party a “drop-off” celebration on party details your child (also, of course, indicated on will notice and remember. And the invitation); parents with consider this: It will be hard to young kids may not be able to stay for the party if they need to impress a teenager who’s received mega-parties since babyhood. keep their other children at home.

One way to dial down the crazy is to only include activities many guests mistakenly consider RSVPs optional, says Whitmore.

This leaves the party-planning parents to guesstimate the guest list, or track down and re-contact all invited guests’ parents about whether they’ll attend. And nobody has time for that.

“It gets frustrating when people don’t reply at all, or respond ‘maybe’ but don’t update as to whether they’ll come or not,” says Raina Johnson, a mom of three boys.

“If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to a party, respond as quickly as possible,” Whitmore says. Whether you can or can’t attend, respond to invites — including evites and text invites — within a week at the most. And if plans change and your child can’t attend, contact the host ASAP so the food, activities and party favors earmarked for your child can be re-purposed.

Special occasions: Festive fetes for every guest

and entertainment that can reasonably fit into a 90-minute party — roughly the party attention span of a kindergartener — with enough schedule space for cake and relaxed socializing.

That means you don’t need the bounce house, band, slip n’ slide, pizza-making station and petting zoo. One to two “main event” activities, with a quieter option like crafting or coloring for overstimulated kiddos, is festive without feeling forced.

Scale back on decorations, too, says mom of two Yin Chang, co-owner of a learning center that hosts STEM birthday parties.

“Kids either completely ignore decorations, or they look at them for five seconds.”

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Goody Bags Gone Bad

Goody bags filled with dollar-store junk irk Amy Hussey, a mom of two, who says, “Keep it consumable so it doesn’t add to the clutter!”

Or skip goody bags entirely — most families won’t miss them.

If you just can’t abandon giveaways, consider a copy of the birthday child’s favorite book, a packet of seeds or a bulb to plant, a single can of Play-Doh, crayons and small notepad, or a take-home craft like a hair barrette or a bookmark. A party favor that fosters family time or quiet play after the excitement of a party will be welcomed by guests’ parents — who may be inspired to reciprocate when their child’s party rolls around.

Sane Soirees continued from page 11

When my son turned 8 this year, we let him have three friends sleep over the night before his at-home birthday party. We had invited close family members and a handful more of his friends to the party. This way, he got to play with his pals while his grandparents got to watch him open gifts and have a blast.

And if you have tweens, pizza and a movie at home, followed by a sleepover, is a great bet.

Instead of spending mega bucks on a specialty cake, bake cupcakes yourself and let the guests decorate their own with colored frostings, sprinkles, gumdrops and other candies.

To take up some time and get some kid energy out on the cheap, consider a piñata. Otherwise, kids don’t need every minute of the day scheduled for them — running wild is what they are best at, especially at a birthday party!

If you’re tired of your kid receiving so many gifts that you can’t even find a place to put them all, with your child’s permission, of course, consider asking guests to bring canned goods for a local food bank instead of gifts. Or you could have guests bring a book from home they don’t read much anymore, and do a book swap.

Take your child on a special Birthday Date and talk about the day she was born. Write a letter to her every year letting her know how she’s grown as a person and what you love about her.

Bottom line: I’m willing to bet that your child would much rather have your time than an extravagant, stressful party where you felt like 30 kids and their parents had to be invited.

The most important thing is to make your child feel special on his special day.

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2019 HOLIDAY THE YULETIDE CAROLERS

H A P PE NI NGS

CHECK MALLOFTHEAMERICAS.COM FOR DATES & TIMES

This holiday season get delighted by The Yuletide Carolers at Mall of the Americas as they evoke the memory of yesteryear with their authentic Victorian costumes, harmonious voices and infectious holiday spirit.

SATURDAY, NOV. 30

CELEBRACIÓN NAVIDEÑA 1 P.M. - 3 P.M.

On Saturday, November 30th from 1pm to 3pm, celebrate with us and St. Nick to start getting into the Holiday Spirit.

Enjoy music, giveaways, face painting and fun activities for the kids. Special performance from Marci Poppins at 2pm!

NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 24

CLICK WITH OL’ SAINT NICK

Steer your sleigh toward Santa’s Workshop in Center Court to take your own photos with Santa that you’ll cherish for years to come! Visit www.malloftheamericas.com for hours of operation.

FRIDAY, NOV. 29

BLACK FRIDAY OPEN EXTENDED HOURS

Stop by Mall of the Americas to take advantage of the extra Black Friday savings and for all your holiday shopping needs! Mall of the Americas will be open 8am -10pm on Black Friday.

Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Instagram & Twitter to find out more about holiday happenings, sales, and special events.

www.malloftheamericas.com 7795 West Flagler Street, Miami, FL 33144

MONDAY, DEC. 2 – SUNDAY, DEC. 8

BE REWARDED: SPEND $200, GET $25 GIFT CARD 1 P.M. - 3 P.M.

Spend $200 across three stores/restaurants at Mall of the Americas between Dec. 2-8 and receive a $25 Be Rewarded Gift Card to Old Navy, Marshalls or Ross, while supplies last.

Bring qualifying receipts to the Mall Management Office (10am - 4pm Monday-Friday). Redeem your receipts by Wednesday, December 11 at 4pm. Visit malloftheamericas.com for details.

SATURDAY, DEC. 7

COOKIES & MILK WITH SANTA 1 P.M. - 3 P.M.

Children are invited to spend an early afternoon with Santa & Mrs. Claus during our Cookies & Milk with Santa event on Saturday, December 7 from 1pm to 3pm. Enjoy a nice story time with the Jolly Old Man and Mrs. Claus and participate in fun holiday activities and giveaways. Must RSVP, please visit www.malloftheamericas.com for details.

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SUPERHERO WEEKEND SATURDAY - MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9TH - 11TH 12:00 - 4:00 PM

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Families of active or retired military: 50% off regular admission 980 macarthur causeway, miami, fl 33132 · 305.373.KIDS(5437) · miamichildrensmuseum.org Miami Children’s Museum receives both private and public funding. MCM is sponsored in part by the City of Miami; the Miami-Dade County Department of Cultural Affairs and the Cultural Affairs Council, the Miami-Dade County Mayor and Board of County Commissioners; and the State of Florida, Department of State, Division of Cultural Affairs, the Florida Arts Council and the National Endowment for the Arts.

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For details and tickets visit MIAMIBOOKFAIR.COM November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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MOM matters

The view from up high A NEW-FOUND PERSPECTIVE FROM A PARENT’S EPIPHANY

BY KATHRYN STREETER

I

spotted a bird across the street perched on the topmost branch of a tree. I wondered, what was she seeing? I wished to be there with that mama bird, to get up high above the trees so to better see where I’ve been and where I’m going.

Truth is, the longer I’ve been a mom, the clearer are my failures.

The blessing of perspective allows painful truths to emerge. Too often, I picked at blades of grass instead of getting up high. I’ve regarded myself as a good mom, yet as I’ve gained distance from the early days of babies and toddlers, preschool and elementary school, I can finally see.

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Like that mama bird sitting up high in the tree, I stand now as a humble mom of 17 years, better able to discern where I’ve been and where I’m going.

My husband cautions me to take the long view as a mother of teens, but how I wish I had taken the long view from the beginning. When motherhood began long ago, the popular parenting manual helped my friends bring order to their newborn’s schedule: Sleep. Eat. Play. But my baby refused to neatly follow the espoused principles. Instead of making adjustments, I persevered.

It wasn’t noble. It was stubborn. I refused to be defeated. I now wish I had comforted my firstborn more when she

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was crying. In retrospect, I missed the season of straightforward consoling because comforting a teenager is more complex.

Today, I am taking the long view. I practice a more-grace-less-legalism approach. In no way do I want my kids to think that their behavior changes my love for them. Though my toddlers may have resisted naptime because they couldn’t settle down, they were enough. Though my teens may head directly to their room after school and shut their door to me, they are enough. Just as they are.

Deep down I’ve always known that motherhood is mostly shooting in the dark. I also knew intellectually that there

wasn’t an equation for raising perfect kids, but sometimes I was flush with confidence in my particular way of doing things.

One day I had an epiphany. I wasn’t just a teacher in this mom-child relationship.

Motherhood had automatically enrolled me as her student, painful as it is beautiful. Certainly, this is one of life’s most unexpected gifts, the selfimprovement that stems from raising children. Deeper in is where the substance lies, the less-straightforward but relentless shaping and sharpening.

The teen years promise personal growth. This season has a way of shaking foundations. Nothing is guaranteed.

My inability to change mothering tactics to keep pace with their growth into young adults revealed I was not truly listening.

It’s more than taking in the words, I learned. It’s getting up high like the mama bird to hear pleas or complaints in their fullest context. Teens don’t act out in a vacuum. In fact, they long to be understood.

Readjusting my expectations didn’t come naturally. I’ve gradually come to appreciate that I held myself, as well

as my kids, to unrealistic standards.

When my son was a toddler, he abruptly stopped eating his veggies. I needed his palate to change quickly. In today’s parenting climate, a child who refuses greens reflected poorly on me — and I panicked. When he entered his tweens, I finally consulted an older mom of three grown sons for advice. She questioned my plan to levy a $1 fine each time he refused greens, pointing to her husband in his mid-70s who still doesn’t eat his.

She gently encouraged me to choose my battles carefully. Perhaps my relationship with my budding young man was far more important, she counseled.

Looking back, it was critical that I listened. In fact, a weight fell off my shoulders that day. I gave myself permission to stop measuring my success as a mother by my son’s diet. I let go of an expectation that had long held me hostage and inhibited my pure enjoyment of him.

Very slowly, I’ve learned to not beat myself up when I’ve fallen short of various expectations, themselves evidence that I was making motherhood more about myself than the raw acceptance of my kids.

Stepping out of the way isn’t easy. But we need to allow our children space to organically select their areas of interest.

Projecting my aspirations on them through directing their enrichment activities early on could have hurt more than helped. At the end of the day, I know they will work harder and be happier if they are chasing their own dreams, not mine.

One can’t stop the days from rolling rapidly by. Years ago, each day ended with bedtime stories. If motherhood is about any one thing, it’s about teaching the art of story-telling.

When I’m doing this well, I’m letting the kids tell their own stories. This is their life, after all.

Like that mama bird, I humbly revel from my view up high. It’s a place I’ve finally found where I can fully see.

Kathryn Streeter is a freelance writer whose stories have appeared in numerous publications. Her new-found perspective on parenting is an inspiration for mama birds everywhere.

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November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I 9/17/19 LY L I F E4:04 PM 19

FAMILY man

Taming Turkey Time A CHEF’S 10-STEP GUIDE TO A TRULY ENJOYABLE THANKSGIVING DINNER

BY PERRY PERKINS

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T

he holidays are hands-down my favorite time of year, but it’s no secret that (especially for us foodies) they can come with a lot of kitchen chaos and performance anxiety.

With so many dishes, so many people and so many “cherished family traditions” to uphold, it’s well-nigh impossible to make it through the season without at least some drama.

If you come from an Italian family like mine, well… fugget about it!

So, if we can’t avoid the chaos, let’s at least try to get a rope on it, right?

Here are 10 tips to help you avoid enough of the crises of holiday entertaining to actually enjoy the food and family time — which, let’s face it, is really the whole point!

10. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Does anyone really care if the tablecloth is ironed? Does anyone really care if their napkins are shaped like swans? Or if great-grandma’s silver is freshly polished?

No, they don’t. They want to eat and laugh, and then eat some more! If you’re low on time (uh, who’s not?), and that cloth is really bugging you, just iron the corners and sides. Once all the dishes are in place, no one will see the wrinkles anyway.

Also, have the kids help you set the table the night before. It’s one less thing to do.

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9. HAVE A PLAN. • Sit down and make a guest list.

• Plan your menu and decide if you’re doing all the cooking or if others will be bringing dishes, and make a checklist of all ingredients.

• Create a complete shopping list, organized by aisle.

• Take inventory of your dinnerware, kitchen tools and gadgets, spices and other staples in your pantry. (And don’t forget to count chairs!)

We call it “mise en place,” and it means having everything prepared and in place before you start cooking … and, trust me, it will save you an all-inclusive stay at the funny farm!

8. LIGHTEN UP ON THE MENU! With the size of the feast on most of our tables, it really isn’t necessary to load your guests up on dips, snacks or appetizers. A platter of cut fresh veggies should do the trick, or maybe make the snacks and appetizers a potluck item. Also, don’t be afraid to look up simpler versions of classic holiday recipes.

7. HOLD A DRESS REHEARSAL. If you’re making a side dish for the first time or using ingredients you aren’t familiar with, try them out beforehand so you’ll be prepared for success on Thanksgiving Day. This is especially important if you’re pressing the young’ uns into service! (And you SHOULD be pressing the young’ uns into service!) No free rides, little Timmy!

Ditto if you’re serving a new wine or using new equipment, like a brand-new oven or slow-cooker. There’s a time and place for culinary surprises… this ain’t it.

6. CLEAR OUT YOUR FRIDGE A WEEK IN ADVANCE. You’re going to be filling it up again pretty soon, so now is a good time to eat the leftovers, combine those four not-quite-empty pickle jars, and toss anything that tries to fight back.

And clean off the counters! Martha Stewart isn’t going to be dropping by (Dear God, please) so clear away all those knickknacks, cookie jars and kitchen gadgets you’re not going to use. Think “industrial kitchen” and you’ll be headed in the right direction.

Rule of thumb: If you’re not going to use it from Nov. 1 to Jan. 1, stick it in a closet. Better yet, get rid of some of it. Do you really need 11 whisks (hint: no, no you don’t)? Find a local shelter kitchen and make a donation!

5. GIVE YOURSELF A HEAD START. Do as much prep work as you can: Make salad dressings; chop onions and celery and store in resealable plastic bags in the fridge; top and tail green beans; make stock for gravy with roasted turkey wings or thighs. Potatoes can be peeled, halved and stored in cold water for 48 hours (in fact, it makes them better!).

Make a list of everything you need to do, right up to digging in, and note how far in advance you can practically (and safely) check it off the list.

This isn’t Downton Abbey, folks, our guests can bring a couple of cans of olives.

4. DON’T BE AFRAID OF A POTLUCK. Most folks have a special holiday dish they’re proud of, so share the spotlight by letting them bring it. And if it’s good, make a big deal about it. You’ll never have to make it again!

Keep a list of who’s bringing what so you don’t end up with six bowls of candied yams, and another list of suggested dishes with recipes for folks who vapor-lock when faced with a menu decision. If they’re really not up to it, a bottle of wine, a store-bought veggie plate or a couple of bags of ice are pretty hard to screw up. This isn’t Downton Abbey, folks, our guests can bring a couple of cans of olives.

3. SHOP EARLY (AND LATE!). When you’re just a couple of days out, you can safely buy most of your fresh ingredients.

Onions, carrots, potatoes, celery, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, green beans, potatoes and even fresh-looking salad greens will last until the big day provided you store them properly. DO NOT plan on doing any shopping on Thanksgiving Day. You don’t want any part of that nut-fest!

Pick up cheeses and cured meats for an easy, no-prep appetizer to serve while you’re in the kitchen.

Full-contact grocery shopping not your thing? Mine neither — those little old ladies can get vicious — so here’s what I do: Find a good 24-hour grocery and hit it about 4 or 5am, do your shopping, then stop by your favorite coffee shop on the way home for a cuppa and a bagel. Make a plan with a friend to shop together.

Taking an afternoon nap is a lot easier than running with the grocery-cart bulls on a holiday afternoon.

2. ASSIGN THE FINAL STEPS. If you have older children, nieces and nephews or in-laws that you CANNOT keep out of the kitchen (I commiserate, believe me), put ’em to work! Mother-in-law is in charge of the stuffing and getting it in the serving dish and to the table with a serving spoon.

Cousin Fred is in charge of making sure everyone’s glass is full. Little Susie puts the rolls in the basket, gets the basket to the table, and makes butter dishes and knives available. Make it clear that once they have performed their job, they should take their seat at the table … because, you know, they’re guests.

Which brings us to my most important step of all…

1. BE THANKFUL! This is what it’s about, peeps — not the turkey, not the pies and not about being the perfect host. Before you start cooking Thursday morning, find a quiet spot to sit for 20-30 minutes and reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Write these things down and note why you’re thankful for them. Keep that thought firmly in place as you ride into battle. Heck, tape the list to the fridge in case you need a reminder later.

The secret to being a great host or hostess (and not sticking a meat-fork into your mother-in-law) is to do as much as you can in advance, and then not sweat the small stuff.

If the yams burn, toss ’em out, turn on a fan and enjoy all the rest of the great food.

If the turkey burns, have a number handy to order takeout. Talk! Laugh! Drink! Make memories! And, most of all be thankful.

Remember: It isn’t about the turkey in the oven. It’s about all the turkeys around the table.

Perry P. Perkins is a third-generation chef, culinary instructor and award-winning writer. Something tells us that an invitation to gather around his Thanksgiving table would definitely be one to accept.

November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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FAMILY health

Tweets, Texts & Emojis HOW TEXT-SPEAK IS DUMBING-DOWN KIDS’ DEVELOPMENT

BY SANDI SCHWARTZ

H

ow did we get to a point in which our communication has become progressively shorter and shorter over time? On Twitter recently there was a hashtag asking people to tell a story in three words.

Just. Three. Words.

We have a president who prefers to write major statements about policy that impact the entire world on Twitter. When you are limited to only 140 characters (characters, not words!), how can anyone expect to really understand what he means? And when preteens and teens only “talk” to their friends using brief phrases and emojis, what are we left with?

Here are five aspects of communication that are being sacrificed when our children grow up speaking and writing in phrases, which can only hinder their development over time:

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1. Emotional Connection and Expression.

We use words to express our feelings to others about our observations, concerns and hopes. How will our children learn to do this if they are cutting out an enormous opportunity for verbal and written expression by dumbing-down the message?

Researchers are assessing whether emoticons help us to communicate better or hinder self-expression. They have found that on one hand it is nice to have an international symbol for certain emotions that we can easily click on to say how we feel about a Facebook post, for example.

However, emoticons convey a limited choice of emotions, reducing ways to truly express our full range of feelings. They also cut out the opportunity for people to use descriptive words to say how they feel because they provide a shorthand option to simply click on one image that is supposed to capture

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thoughts and feelings. This is unfortunately limiting opportunities for expression, and if our children grow up with this quick option, it will impact their ability to express their emotions.

Additionally, when we hide behind our devices instead of talking face-to-face with those we love, we miss out on a major chance for emotional connection.

According to Psychology Today, this kind of communication interferes with actual conversation and undermines our ability to connect with others. Social media actually becomes a barrier to connecting with others.

As children are constantly exposed to these quick, impersonal ways of “expressing” themselves, they miss out on learning how to accurately convey their thoughts and feelings out loud as well as in writing.

2. Non-Verbal Communication. Nothing beats looking into someone’s eyes to

truly understand what he means and how he feels. A huge part of our daily communications depends on visual cues like facial expressions, body language, posture and tone of voice. In fact, studies show that only 7 percent of communication is based on the written or verbal word, while 93 percent is based on non-verbal body language.

Sitting behind a screen and sending a few words or images is not going to help a person really understand how the person on the other end thinks and feels.

As children spend more time in this world of snippets, they are losing the ability to pick up on these non-verbal expressions that can be so important in understanding others.

UCLA scientists found that sixth-graders who went five days without using a smartphone, television or other digital screen did much better at understanding human emotions than those who spent several hours a day looking at their electronic devices. Patricia Greenfield, author of the study, explained that decreased sensitivity to emotional cues is lost when face-to-face social interaction is replaced with screen interaction. Learning how to read other people’s moods is a skill that takes a lot of practice. Sadly, children today are missing out on developing that skill.

3. Social Skills. Children and teens lose out on a slew of social skills when they only communicate in short statements online.

Learning how to interact in person with others and to speak in public are critical skills for future success. Our kids need to practice these skills throughout their childhood to get ready for critical moments in their lives, like school presentations, college and job interviews, and making an announcement at a social event.

In addition, other basic social skills are also being affected. In an article in Huffington Post, child psychologist Melissa Ortega pointed out how children are struggling to deal with face-to-face conflict because they are accustomed to hiding behind their screens to communicate.

Ortega said that conversations take practice, and children are not getting enough interpersonal exposure.

Experts are also seeing how this type of limited communication is influencing the dating world. Teens raised to just text and not hold a personal conversation are limited in how they can express their feelings to their peers. The lack of direct

communication is impacting their ability to build trust and develop an emotional connection with others.

4. Creative Language, Grammar and Spelling. Another place that brief communication is changing our children’s lives is in the classroom. The way kids are communicating online is creeping into their school work, leading to sloppy grammar, spelling mistakes and reduced creativity.

The best literature throughout history is filled with embellished language and imaginative stories. If our children limit the number of words they use to tell a story or to debate an issue, the entire premise of communications changes.

The Association of American Educators indicates that social media has led to students talking in “text-speak,” causing an overall trend of bad grammar, punctuation and spelling for the sake of convenience and speed. Also making it into coursework are abbreviations used on social media, which is clearly incorrect language.

A paper released by the English Spelling Society concludes that the internet has revolutionized the English language and made spelling mistakes the norm. This is not a surprise since we now rely on crutches like auto-correct, which also reduces the level of thought required to write.

5. Meaning of Words. How many times have you misinterpreted what someone wrote in an email or text? So much can be lost in translation when we are unable to see or hear how the person is communicating specific words to us.

If children are primarily communicating with friends and family by typing phrases, that leaves many opportunities for the

message to be misconstrued. This can lead to stressful situations because the reader may incorrectly jump to the conclusion that the writer intended to be hurtful, when in reality it was just how the words were interpreted. Brief communication can then lead to negative emotions like anger, depression or anxiety over how someone thinks they are being treated.

As an example, an article in Forbes discussed how the instances of misinterpretation are growing in the business environment. As people are rushed, stressed and primarily communicating by quick electronic messages, they are not taking the time to consider the nuances of their writing.

This is leading to more conflicts about the tone of emails.

It is only worse with our children who are gossiping and making plans with friends in group texts using symbols and acronyms. How does someone really know what it means when the writer uses all capital letters? Are they yelling, joking or just highlighting an issue? When someone responds to you with a one- or two-word answer, does that mean they are brushing you off? With this type of communication, we are left to draw conclusions with very little information. If our children do not learn how to tell people exactly what they mean using complete sentences, will they ever be happy and successful?

Sandi Schwartz is a parenting writer whose work has been featured in various publications. With her Happy Science Mom blog, she is on a personal mission to help parents raise happy, balanced children.

What Parents Can Do to Help A day doesn’t go by when we don’t hear suggestions for limiting our children’s screen time.

We are all struggling to implement this in our homes. What else can we do to encourage our children to communicate more thoroughly and effectively?

• Read every day with your children at all ages, but the real key is to also discuss what you are reading.

Ask tons of questions and encourage your kids to summarize the stories.

• Create games that involve developing a story together. For example, fill a jar with topics and then ask each family member to write or state three sentences. Keep building the story.

• Teach your children how to debate and encourage them to join a debate team when they get older.

• Ask your kids questions and encourage them to talk about how they feel. It is so important to set aside special times to have these deep conversations.

• Encourage your children to journal so that they can practice expressing their thoughts and feelings in writing. Ask them what adjectives they used and challenge them to develop their thoughts even more.

• Have fun analyzing each other’s or a stranger’s body language in person or on television.

• Eat meals together as a family and include your children in conversations about all types of topics from how their day at school was to current affairs.

• Provide public speaking opportunities for your children, even if it is something as simple as ordering their meal at a restaurant.

November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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FAMILY dynamics

The Gender Dilemma WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CHILD ASKS “WHAT ELSE IS THERE?”

BY PAM MOORE

I

recently took my daughter to the restroom at a local health food restaurant in a progressive city. As you might expect, the restroom was not labeled “men,” “women,” “family,” or even just “restroom.” It was “all genders.”

It didn’t occur to me to think about my daughter’s reaction to that term, given the potty emergency at hand. My daughter did not miss the sign, however.

She asked, “What does ‘all genders’ mean?”

“Well, it means, men, women, and … anyone who doesn’t identify as a man or a woman.”

“But what else is there?” she asked.

“Like, someone who just wants to identify as a person.”

“But why can’t they just be a man or a woman.”

“Like I said. They just want to be a person.”

Back at our table, I whispered to my husband, “How do you explain non-binary gender to a kid?”

Not surprisingly, given that my husband, myself and our two daughters are cisgender, the topic of gender had never come up until we saw the “all genders” sign. According to Trans Student Education Resource’s website, the word “cisgender,” from the Latin “cis,” meaning “on the same side,” is an adjective that describes someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.

“For some people, the grown-ups guessed right about their body and their gender. This is called cisgender — when someone’s identity matches their sex assigned at birth,” according to Who Are You: The Kids Guide to Gender Identity, by Brook Pessin-Whedbee.

My husband and I have certainly talked with our kids about bodies, private parts, and where babies come from. But those were conversations about sexuality, not gender. So I was caught off-guard by the “all genders” sign, and unsure of how to begin to explain it.

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When you talk about non-binary gender, talking about the gender binary is a good starting point, says Talcott Broadhead, author of Meet Polkadot, the illustrated story of a non-binary, transgender child. Broadhead explains that the gender binary refers to “who you should be, think, look, feel and act like” as a girl or as a boy.

The problem with the traditional gender binary is that people don’t always fit neatly into a prescribed notion of what it feels like to be a boy or a girl. Pessin-Whedbee explains that the sex you’re assigned at birth, whether it’s male or female, may not match your gender. While your sex is based on your body parts, gender is an expression of who you are — including what you feel, what you like, how you dress and “who you know yourself to be.”

In Pink is a Girl Color… and Other Silly Things People Say, author Stacy Drageset dispels some common myths for young readers. For example, ballet is not just for girls and anyone can

play basketball. Drageset explains that rather than choosing clothes based on whether they are “boy clothes” or “girl clothes,” it is more important to dress according to what you like and feel comfortable in.

“There are lots of ways to be a boy. There are lots of ways to be a girl,” Pessin-Whedbee writes. “There are lots of ways to be a kid.”

She lists a number of other ways in which people may choose to identify themselves, including trans, genderqueer, non-binary, gender fluid, transgender, gender neutral, agender, neutrois, bigender, third gender, and two-spirit.

While Pessin-Whedbee refers to the gender spectrum as an alternative to the gender binary, Broadhead’s book does not.

Broadhead, who uses the pronoun “they,” explained that the notion of a gender spectrum implies that male and female occupy distinct ends of a scale, whereas “they” feel gender is in fact too fluid and unique a concept to fit a linear model. They prefer the concept of gender diversity, which includes a gender universe, in which “we are each our own star.” Whether taking the approach of a gender spectrum or a gender universe, experts agree that you are the only one who gets to say who or what you are (with the caveat that the term “two-spirit” is specific to certain indigenous cultures.)

Heather Thompson, a self-identified genderqueer person and advocate for “queer, trans, and non-binary folks,” recommends using everyday encounters to open conversations with children about gender. For example, when my 5-year-old asks me why our cashier has an earring “even though he’s a boy,” I can take the

opportunity to explain that you don’t actually know what a person is when you meet them.

A mother herself, Thompson acknowledges that kids often understand a lot more than we give them credit for. “In my experience, they get the middle [of the gender spectrum],” she says, “they just didn’t know we could talk about it.”

Certainly books like the ones mentioned can be great conversation starters, as well. For parents who are reluctant to open a dialogue about gender for fear of not having all the answers, or feeling that they should have opened the conversation earlier, Broadhead says it’s OK to say something like: “I’m sorry I wasn’t actually sharing everything I know about gender. You and I know a lot about our own gender and it makes sense to us and it’s who we are, but what I haven’t explained to you is that there’s actually a lot more genders.”

And if they have questions you can’t answer, you can visit websites like the Trans Youth Equality Foundation (www.transyouthequality.org) or ask someone who would know.

However, Broadhead cautions against cornering the trans parent at your child’s school in the pick-up line and interrogating her.

“That’s obviously inappropriate.”

And of course, dining in a restaurant with an “all genders” restroom sign can work quite well, too.

Pam Moore is a freelance writer who helps women push through fear to become their best selves. She’s grateful for the public restroom that started a conversation about gender in her family.

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miamiseaquarium.com/4manatees November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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SPECIAL needs

App-titudes 8 GREAT APPS TO HELP KIDS MASTER SPECIFIC SKILLS

BY TANNI HAAS

C

hildren with special needs are as diverse as any other kids, and there is a wide range of educational apps that can help them in their specific needs. Here are eight of the best, and they’re all free. If you’re a parent or caregiver of children with special needs, have them check the apps out and download the ones that are the most useful and fun.

1. CHATTERPIX KIDS - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. This app is great for kids who need help practicing their oral communication skills. They can either upload or take a picture of themselves, draw a mouth, and then record what they want to say.

It’s particularly useful if you’re having a difficult conversation at home and your kids find it easier to express their views through an avatar rather than directly to you. It can also be useful in school if your kids require extra time composing an answer to a teacher’s question. They can record and re-record their response until they get it just the way they want it.

2. COACH.ME - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play.

Drawing on the latest psychological and behavioral research, this great app assumes that the key to achieving one’s goals is to develop good, consistent habits. Users decide which habits they’d

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like to develop, track them over time, receive reminders, and then get positive feedback (high-fives) when they reach their goals.

Depending on their age and maturity, your kids can either use this app on their own or with a little help from you.

3. EMOTIONARY - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play.

If you want to help your kids better understand other people’s emotions, the best thing you can do is help them better understand their own. This app has more than 100 short, dictionary-style definitions of common emotions, each accompanied by an emoticon. This helps kids develop a rich vocabulary for expressing their emotions, and it teaches them coping skills so that they don’t become overwhelmed by their emotions. They can create their own emoticons for emotions they think aren’t included in the app but are really important to them.

4. IOT SESSION - Available at Apple App Store. Created by wellknown occupational therapist Dr. Frederick Covington, this app features lots of kid-friendly, game-like exercises aimed at improving the user’s visual perception, tracking and coordination. It also improves fine motor skills, especially kids’ ability to create proper letters. The app is used by occupational therapists everywhere, but

your kids can use it too, either on their own or with your help, to track their progress over time.

5. MINDSHIFT CBT - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. Based on widely used cognitive behavioral therapy, this app teaches kids how to deal with different anxiety-provoking situations like conflicts, social situations and tests. It features tools that help users relax, practice mindfulness and re-orient their thoughts. It has audio recordings with guided meditations, a journal for users to record thoughts that make them the most anxious, and general tips for managing anxiety.

6. MODEL ME GOING PLACES 2 Available at Apple App Store. This social-skills app teaches kids how to interact with different kinds of people they encounter in their daily lives, such as grocery store clerks, hairdressers, doctors and waiters. It has 12-photo slideshows that model kids engaging in appropriate behaviors with people in different settings.

7. MY LITTLE SUITCASE - Available at Apple App Store. This game-like app, which can be played by up to four people, enhances kids’ ability to memorize and match items. Similar to the popular card game Memory, each player has a suitcase with six different items represented on a small card that is faced down. Players take turns turning the cards over. If the card is theirs, they put it in their suitcase.

If not, it’s the next player’s turn. Aside from improving their working memory and retention skills, they learn how to focus, categorize and engage in proper turn-taking. It’s a great game for the whole family.

8. UNSTUCK - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. This award-winning app helps users identify useful strategies when they’re having trouble trying to reach a specific goal. Kids are asked to explain in what way they’re stuck, how they feel about it and how strong those feelings are. It also tells them what percentage of other users and famous historical figures have faced similar issues. The app then generates possible solutions. Its biggest educational value, however, is letting kids put words to their feelings and showing them that they’re not alone in feeling the way they do.

NORTH POLE PAJAMA PARTY! WEEKENDS FROM NOV. 30 – DEC. 22 • Enjoy a holiday science show, activities stations and a classic holiday film.

• Sip hot chocolate and make elf slime!

• Visit mods.org for pricing and details.

401 SW Second Street • Fort Lauderdale, FL 33312 • 954.467.6637

BFL Ad_Pajama Party.indd 1

9/17/19 4:04 PM

Tanni Haas, PhD, is a professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.

November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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NovemberEvents HOW TO SUBMIT CALENDAR LISTINGS

Please e-mail listing information to calendar@miamidadefamilylife.com by the 5th of the month prior to the event date.

Include the name of the event, location, address, date, time, brief description, price and telephone number for the public.

Cirque Mei

FALL FESTIVITIES The Ramble

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9-10

This long-running annual festival features a plant sale, a KidWay with carnival-style games, handcrafted items, face painting and environmental learning activities. $25/adult, $12/child.

9:30am-4:30pm, FAIRCHILD TROPICAL BOTANIC GARDEN,

10901 Old Cutler Rd., Coral Gables, 305-667-1651 www.fairchildgarden.org

Fall Antique Show

SUNDAYS, NOVEMBER 10 & 24

IT’S SHOWTIME!

Bring the family to search for vintage treasures at this collectible market featuring more than 100 vendors. 9am-5pm, LINCOLN ROAD MALL, between 16th & 17th Streets, Miami Beach, www.lincolnroad.com

Turkey Trot

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 19

Fiddler on the Roof Jr. NOVEMBER 1-10

This special adaption of the Tony-winning musical follows Tevye the milkman as he tries to protect his daughters and his way of life from a changing world.

Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 2pm & 7:30pm, Sunday 5pm.

AREA STAGE COMPANY, 1560 S. Dixie Hwy., Coral Gables 305-666-2078 www.areastagecompany.com/fiddler

Coco: In Concert Live to Film SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

This family-friendly live orchestra event features Michael Giacchino’s musical score and the award winning film. $35 and up. 2:30pm & 7pm, ADRIENNE ARSHT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-949-6722 www.arshtcenter.org

Ballet for Families SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

Miami City Ballet School presents a performance of excerpts from some of the company’s beloved ballets.

Free, but a ticket is required. 1pm, SOUTH MIAMI-DADE CULTURAL ARTS CENTER, 10950 SW 211 St., Cutler Bay, www.smdcac.org

Cirque Mei

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3

See a stunning display of traditional and contemporary Chinese circus acts in this lively celebration that includes 40 elite circus artists and acrobats. $29 and up. 3pm, ADRIENNE ARSHT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-949-6722

vivid imagination, dares to take a stand and change her own destiny. $15-$20. Showtimes vary.

MIAMI CHILDRENS THEATER, 11155 SW 112 Ave., Miami, www.miamichildrenstheater.biz

Young Stars Showcase SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10

Listen to a showcase of sensational young singers perform at this fundraising event that benefits the AMC Education Foundation. $25-$50.

5pm, AVENTURA ARTS & CULTURAL CENTER, 3385 NE 188 St., Aventura, www.aventuracenter.org

Greater Miami Youth Symphony FRIDAYS, NOVEMBER 15 & 22

The symphony presents a special concert for Premature Babies Awareness Month on Nov. 15 and a presentation of Chamber Serenade on Nov. 22. 7pm, PINECREST GARDENS, 11000 Red Rd., Pinecrest, 305-274-2103 www.pinecrestgardens.org

It’s a Kazoo Out There SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23

The Alhambra Orchestra features a concert of kids’ movie favorites, and a musical play about music, moxie and friendship. Free. 3pm, PINECREST GARDENS, 11000 Red Rd., Pinecrest, 305-274-2103 www.pinecrestgardens.org

Family Fest: 305 Hip-Hop SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23

Matilda the Musical

Be entertained with performances, workshops and entertainment by B-boy dance crew, The FlipSide Kings, urban graffiti artist Daniel “Krave” Fila and local DJs and MCs. Free. 1:30pm, ADRIENNE

Watch as Matilda, an extraordinary girl armed with a

1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-949-6722 www.arshtcenter.org

www.arshtcenter.org

ARSHT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS,

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3 AND FRIDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 8-10

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Children between the ages of 6-13 race to the finish line during this annual holiday tradition. 3pm, MILANDER PARK, 4700 Palm Ave., Hialeah, 305-883-5800 www.hialeahfl.gov

Harvest Festival SATURDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23-24

Old-fashioned fall fun featuring arts and crafts, pony rides, train rides, games, live music, cutest baby contest, exhibitors and more.

10am-5pm, MIAMI DADE FAIR EXPO, 10901 SW 24 St., Miami, www.miamiharvest.com

Turkey Trot Miami

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 28

Get active before the big meal at this Thanksgiving Day race that includes a 5K, 10K and Kids Trot. 7am 5K and 10K start, 9am Kids Trot start.

TROPICAL PARK, 7900 SW 40 St., Miami, www.turkeytrotmiami.com

Winternational Thanksgiving Day Parade

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 28

This 45th annual Thanksgiving Day tradition highlights the community with a parade along 125 Street beginning at 10am. Procession travels ALONG 125TH STREET from NE Sixth Avenue to 12 Avenue, North Miami, www.northmiamifl.gov/celebrate

FAIRS, FESTIVALS & SPECIAL EVENTS Santa’s Enchanted Forest

Family Days

Mad Hatter Arts Festival

Lights, rides, food, games, entertainment and more make this holiday wonderland glow.

TROPICAL PARK, corner of Bird Road and the Palmetto Expressway, Miami, 305-559-9689 www.santasenchantedforest.com

Activities for all ages include an inflatable double slide, face painting, balloon animals and more.

Free. 1-4pm, MAGIC CITY JAI-ALAI, 450 NW 37 Ave., Miami, www.magiccitycasino.com

This artisan and vintage marketplace festival features exhibits, demonstrations, live music, treats and activities for kids of all ages. $2/person, free/ages 6 and under. 10am-5pm, BARNACLE HISTORIC STATE PARK, 3485 Main Hwy., Miami, 305-442-6866 www.thebarnacle.org

THROUGH JANUARY 5

SUNDAYS, NOVEMBER 3, 10, 17 & 24

El Dia De Los Muertos En La Plaza Day of the Dead activities include kids’ crafts, mariachi and conjunto performances, face painting and a Coco-inspired costume contest. Free. 4-7pm, THOMSON PLAZA FOR 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-949-6722 www.arshtcenter.org

Founders Day

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3

Celebrate Aventura’s 24th anniversary with a day filled with free games, music, food, arts and crafts and activities. Noon-5pm, FOUNDERS PARK, 3105 NE 190 St., Aventura, www.cityofaventura.com

CultureFest 305

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

THE ARTS AT ADRIENNE ARSHT CENTER,

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23-24

Celebrate the Magic City with a day filled with music, dance, food, performance and art.

Free admission. Noon-6:30pm, HISTORYMIAMI MUSEUM, 101 W. Flagler St., Miami, 305-375-1492 www.historymiami.org

Zoo Lights

OPENS NOVEMBER 29

For 12 select nights through December 29, visitors can see the zoo twinkle with dazzling lights. See website for details. ZOO MIAMI, 12400 SW 152 St., Miami, 305-251-0400 www.zoomiami.org

Miami Book Fair NOVEMBER 17-24

Scheduled author presentations, workshops and activities at a variety of locations throughout the week culminating with a weekend Street Fair. 10am-7pm, November 22-24.

Street Fair admission is free on Friday; $10 Saturday-Sunday/adult, $5/ages 13-18 and seniors, free/12 and under. MIAMI DADE COLLEGE, 300 NE Second Ave., Miami, www.miamibookfair.com

Holly, Jolly Holiday Event OPENS NOVEMBER 29

Celebrate the holiday season with storytelling, live entertainment, holiday characters, performances and more. Select evenings through Dec. 24. $30. 6-10pm, GOLD COAST RAILROAD MUSEUM, 12450 SW 152 St., Miami, www.gcrm.org

COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES Gold Coast Free First Saturday

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

Bring the kids for a hands-on history lesson the first Saturday of every month when admission and museum exploration is free. GOLD COAST RAILROAD MUSEUM, 12450 SW 152 St., Miami, 305-253-0063 www.goldcoastrailroadmuseum.org

Oh Man-atee

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7

Mommy-and-me program encourages parents and their little ones to explore and learn about unique animals through animal interactions, presentations and arts and crafts.

Ages 2-5. $10/adult, $5/child. Optional park entrance is offered to participants at a reduced fee. 10am-noon, MIAMI SEAQUARIUM, 4400 Rickenbacker Causeway, Miami, 305-361-5705 www.miamiseaquarium.com

Teen Club: Gaming FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 8

Join other teens after school for an afternoon playing Wii U and other games in the Teen Zone. Ages 12-18.

3:30-5pm, MAIN BRANCH LIBRARY, 101 W. Flagler St., Miami, 305-375-2665 www.mdpls.org

Barnacle Under Moonlight Concert SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Kick back and listen to music by the bay. $10/adult, $3/child. Gates open

at 6pm. 7-9pm, BARNACLE HISTORIC STATE PARK, 3485 Main Hwy., Miami 305-442-6866 www.thebarnacle.org

Veterans Day Ceremony

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11

A community ceremony honoring all who serve and have served. The event includes veterans sharing personal reflections, patriotic performances and a WWII display. 10am, AVENTURA GOVERNMENT CENTER,

19200 W. Country Club Dr., Aventura, 305-466-8930

Deering Estate Ghost Tours

TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 12 & 20

Hear about sightings and experiences from actual paranormal investigations as you explore what is said to be Miami’s most haunted property. Tour may contain mature subject matter.

Pre-register online. $35. 8-10pm, DEERING ESTATE, 16701 SW 72 Ave., Palmetto Bay, 305-235-1668 www.deeringestate.org

Night Hike & Campfire WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13

Explore the woods and wildlife of Deering after dark. A guided hike is followed by s’mores around a campfire. Ages 4 and up. $15.

7-9:30pm, DEERING ESTATE, 16701 SW 72 Ave., Palmetto Bay, 305-235-1668 www.deeringestate.org

Kids Night at the Museum

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15

Drop the kids off for a night of museum exploration and activities while you have a night on the town. $60/child, $40/additional sibling. 6:30pm-midnight, PHILLIP AND PATRICIA FROST MUSEUM OF SCIENCE, 1101 Biscayne Blvd., Miami,

www.frostscience.org

Movies at the Park FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Bring lawn chairs or blankets to watch an outdoor movie on a giant inflatable screen. 7:30-10pm, DOWNTOWN DORAL PARK, 8395 NW 53 St., Doral, 305-593-6611 www.cityofdoral.com

Tree Lighting Ceremony FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Ring in the holiday season with Santa and Mrs. Claus, performances, food trucks and thousands of sparkling lights. 6-10pm, TRIANGLE PARK, Palm Avenue and Okeechobee Road, Hialeah, www.hialeahfl.gov

Free Movie in the Park FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Bring a blanket and lawn chairs for an outdoor screening of Alice in Wonderland (1951). Free. Gates open at 7:30pm. BARNACLE HISTORIC STATE PARK, 3485 Main Hwy., Miami, 305-442-6866 www.thebarnacle.org

Every effort has been made to provide accurate information. Changes and cancellations do occur. Please double check the details before setting out on your adventure.

Storytime at PAMM SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23

Every fourth Saturday of the month kids ages 3-5 with a caregiver can build on foundations of literacy with a gallery experience, a story reading and related art activity. 11am-noon, PÉREZ ART MUSEUM MIAMI,

1103 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-375-3000 www.pamm.org

Mini Monday MONDAYS

The first day of each week is geared toward the pint-size lot (birth through age 5) when the museum is free of group visits, offering a low-key environment for little ones to explore. $15/Florida resident with ID, free/under 1. 10am-6pm, MIAMI CHILDREN’S MUSEUM, 980 MacArthur Causeway, Miami, 305-373-5437 www.miamichildrensmuseum.org

WANT MORE FUN? For additional local events, check our online calendar at www.miamidadefamilylife.com

November 2019 | M I A M I - D A D E F A M I LY L I F E

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WORDS of wisdom

Happy Thanks“living” THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR IN YOUR KIDS' SHENANIGANS

BY PAM MOORE

W

hen parents think of the things we’re grateful for, our kids generally make the top of the list. That said, when you notice the “creative” way in which they’ve taken a ballpoint pen to the couch cushions, that river of gratitude suddenly dries right up.

With Thanksgiving approaching, it might be helpful to “re-frame” the way we view our kids’ shenanigans (e.g., their tendency to act like kids who, by nature, possess underdeveloped brains). Even when your kid is a millimeter away from destroying your last nerve, there’s still much to be grateful for, as demonstrated in these common scenarios: YOU ASK YOUR KID TO FIND HER SHOES. She stares at her coloring book as if in a trance. You stand two inches from her face and say: “I’m talking to you. It’s time to find your shoes. We are leaving.” She ignores you. Two minutes later, you tell her to get her shoes on. She says OK but remains glued to said coloring book. You put your coat on and say through gritted teeth: “I’m not going to tell you again. Get your shoes on. It’s time to go.”

Through sobs, she proclaims, “I’m in the middle of something.”

Be grateful for: Your child’s capacity to focus. Bonus: She might put her superior power of concentration to use when selecting your nursing home.

YOUR KID IS ASKING YOU FOR A SNACK. You tell her she’s going to have to wait a minute, you’re in the middle of something. She responds by telling you exactly what kind of snack she’d like. “I need Goldfish. The cheddar kind. And they need to be in the purple ramekin.” You thought you had a 5-year-old, not a rock star with an event rider. Visions of bedtime dance in your mind. You say, “What would be a nicer way to ask?” Matching your saccharine request, she complies: “Can I please have cheddar Goldfish in the purple ramekin?

And also I want more than my sister. Please.”

Be grateful for: Your child’s ability to know what she wants.

This child will not need you to call her professor or landlord on her behalf 20 years from now.

THE SCHOOL BUS ARRIVES IN 10 MINUTES. Your child says she is ready. But yesterday’s French braid is hanging on by a few tenacious wisps. She’s in a floral tank top, a tutu

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and leopard-print leggings. She has on non-matching socks and her sparkly Velcro sneakers. “But…” You stop before you complete the sentence with “you look homeless” because you don’t know how to say it nicely. She is fully dressed, though.

She’s wearing sneakers on P.E. day. Her teeth are brushed.

“Do you feel good in that outfit?” you ask. She nods, beaming.

Be grateful for: The fact that your kid thinks for herself.

If she knows what the other kids are wearing, she clearly does not care. With any luck, 10 years from now she won’t be blowing her allowance on the latest trend.

There is always something to be grateful for if you look hard enough. As parents, it’s important to remember, how you view a situation depends on where you stand (and, of course, how loudly your kid is whining).

Pam Moore is a freelance writer who considers motherhood to be the greatest test of endurance — and the greatest joy.

™ ESPINOSA ACADEMY EDUCATING CHILDREN SINCE 1933 • THE ESpINoSA METHoD • K3 - 8th grades

To REACH A CHILD’S SoUL, oNE MUST kNow HIM, GUIDE HIM, AND ESpECIALLy LovE HIM.

~ CoNCHITA ESpINoSA

SCHEDULE yoUR pRIvATE ToUR ToDAy • 305-227-1149 www.CoNCHITAESpINoSA.CoM • 12975 Sw 6TH STREET, MIAMI, FL 33184 Ai, NCpSA, NIpSA, SACS, MSA, AISF, ISSF • #MoRETHANASCHooL

November 25, 2019 – January 5, 2020 Make unforgettable holiday memories this season at Gaylord Palms Resort.

Enjoy heartwarming visits with Santa, Snow Tubing, Cirque Dreams Unwrapped stage show, Mrs. Claus’ Christmas Traditions, and our signature 9-degree attraction ICE! featuring THE POLAR EXPRESS™.

Stay overnight to experience it all! Tickets and Packages on Sale Now.

ChristmasAtGaylordPalms.com | (407) 586-2000 THE POLAR EXPRESS and all related characters and elements © & ™ Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. (s19). PEPSI, PEPSI-COLA and the Pepsi Globe are registered trademarks of PepsiCo, Inc. © Build-A-Bear Workshop, Inc. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

KISSIMMEE, FL