Gay Peace All Over The World by Micha Kranixfeld

Gay Peace All Over The World

A brief visit to Cocktail

Content 1. Introduction A first evenig at Cocktail Development of the organization Life cycle of a partnership

5 14 20

2. Background Hope mobilizes Under scrutiny Arriving

22 24 32 42

3. Being Buddies Joining Connecting Localizing Negotiating Expanding

54 60 62 66 68

4. Group activities Ritualizing Experimenting Mixing Protecting

78 84 86 88

5. Organizing & Participating The coordinator Growing Networks (Dis-)Continous Volunteering Friendly Takeover? Future Prospects

96 98 100 104 108

List of References

118

It was a few days past Sinterklaas, the big Dutch holiday of exchanging gifts and spending time with friends and family, when I attended a dinner of an organization called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cocktailâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. 6

1+1 Cocktail is a buddy programme for queer refugees to meet Dutch LGBTIQ and break the isolation that many asylum claimants face. In previous projects I had looked at places and networks of different marginalized groups. Cocktail finally brought my interest for immigration experiences and my own queer identity together.

Alongside the time the refugees spend with their volunteers, there are group meetings once a month. Usually these meetings are organized around a dinner that is prepared by some of the members. The dinners are calm, intimate settings that tap into a very special resource: time. To catch up with old contacts and meet the new members. After my first insecurity upon entering this unfamiliar terrain, eating together was a good possibility to get to know some of the others more intensely. Soon I was involved into a cheerful conversation. 9

From the beginning, I could feel that Cocktail is a safe place. I did not need to explain my identity to anyone. While this may also be true for gay bars and parties, Cocktail shakes common habits a bit up: It provides an environment for queer people to meet that comes with a strict non-flirt policy.

ace gay pe world e h t r e all ov

Soon after everybody finished their plates and the conversations got more intense and louder, pens and slips of paper were passed around. We were asked to write down an anonymous wish or thought that can be shared with the group. We drew the notes randomly from the box and read them aloud. If they were in English, we translated them to Dutch. The messages were hopeful, encouraging and complimented the good group spirit. 11

Each of the messages came with a present - it was Christmas time after all. Some looked happy about their gifts, some did not care so much. But this set of ritualized actions (presenting, unwrapping, surprise and gratitude) created a cozy and familial feeling that tied the group closer together.

On my way big home I had a big smile on my face and started to wonder: How did this organization develop?

Five and a half years ago COC, the oldest LGBTIQ organization in the world, that had directed its struggle towards the situation of queer refugees for some time already, was asked if they have a buddy programme that could potentially solve the loneliness many asylum claimants face. Buddy programmes became big during the heights of the AIDS crisis to accompany the dieing. Only later it spread to other causes and is now a popular form of volunteering within the queer community. 14

“Do you have something for queer refugees?”

But despite all it’s theoretical expertise, COC had to invent a new organization from scratch. This is how Cocktail was born. 15

ac tiv at es

Circle of friends

Volunteers + Refugees

matches

Coordinator

Vluchtelingenwerk COA

...

Designing Cocktail Martin, the current coordinator of Cocktail, told me: I think there were only two buddy matches when I took over four years ago. There was no organization; the previous coordinator simply asked friends to help. The matches didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t last long.â&#x20AC;? 16

ac tiv at es

Queer scene

Volunteers + Refugees

matches

Coordinator

Vluchtelingenwerk COA

...

The group grew very quickly now. It felt as if I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to do anything. I am well connected in the queer community and we also spread our information through flyers and various websites targeting volunteers. 17

ac tiv at es

Queer scene

Volunteers + Refugees

matches

Core Team

coordinator interviewer secretary

Vluchtelingenwerk ...

COA

I formed a small team: me as coordinator, the interviewer, and someone who was more like a secretary. I wanted to make sure that the success of the group did not depend on me alone. Together, we also discuss the future strategy of Cocktail. 18

ac tiv at es

Queer scene organize matches

Core Team coordinator interviewer secretary

Volunteers + Refugees

Monthly Activities

izes

organ

participate

Vluchtelingenwerk

Special Events

...

COA

Midzomergracht Conferences

ge ga en

Public & Media Cocktail is always changing and adapting. For example, now that the asylum seekers find their cases decided much faster we start to focus on the period after they have obtained a residence permit and less on the time in the center. 19

Life cycle of a partnership refugees

index of possible members

intake interviews

volunteers

The matching of two people in the context of Cocktail is the result of a careful process: Aspiring members meet with the core team for a first conversation. Typically this takes places in the apartment of the interviewer or in a cafĂŠ. For some people, like me, Cocktail ends here already. My stay in Utrecht was too short and my knowledge of the society too limited to serve as a helpful companion. 20

refugee: can still join

team matches members

first meeting of the new match

group activities end 1+1

volunteer: possibility to get a new buddy

There is no rule how long a partnership lasts. Some would need it for years, others realize after a few meetings that they actually get by on their own very well. MARTIN The number of volunteers is limited. Otherwise we would need to get a new one for every refugee. We would grow way too large. 21

Background The question of how to deal with refugees puts Europe’s democracies to the test. But while there is much talk about them, refugees themselves are seldom given the right to talk. In the current hegemonic system, they have to act as a uniform ‘other’ while their complex life stories are reduced to their identity as refugees. Other characteristics are neither interesting to politicians nor media. Moreover, asylum claimants even lose control over their bodies as they are examined, distributed and questioned by the system. Having fled differing forms of persecution, they face yet another deprivation of their right to perform their own identities. Under these circumstances it really is remarkable (although perplexingly obvious) what a group in Utrecht did. In an act of ‘political love’ (Hardt 2012: 9) they created a forum for people with similar life experiences (i.e. being queer) to support each other and to give a face to the otherwise anonymous refugee. Bringing European citizens and asylum seekers together might often be a challenge but the queer experience is unifying across borders. Queers all around the world are ‘forced to wander the periphery of law and society’ (Triger 2012: 270) in many ways. In the context of heteronormative societies ‘the development of a sense of self that reflects same-sex attraction is one of difference, triggering a process of identity (trans)formation/redefi22

nition accompanied by the experience (or fear) of social rejection.’ (Berg and Millbank 2009: 206) Using the queer experience as a bridge between people with and without a local citizenship creates new allies and is – at least in theory – a start for what Belgian political philosopher Chantal Mouffe calls ‘hegemonic confrontation’ (Mouffe 2013). Cocktail is creating a new collective, a new struggle, a new common enemy (cf. Mouffe 2008). But it does not perform in the usual activist habitus outside of state institutions but instead seeks as much involvement with them as possible. This, too, is in line with Mouffe who claims that true social change can only be involved via deep involvement with existing institutions because ‘society is always politically instituted and that what is called “the social” is the realm of sedimented political practices’ (ibid.). The deep involvement that the volunteers at Cocktail seek with the refugees gives them a unique inside into the situation of queer asylum claimants which differs in several aspects to that of other refugees. In the following chapter I will describe the circumstances of queer mobility.

Hope mobilizes Propelled by fear of violence and flight from stigma, impelled by desire for connection and belonging, the movements of people whose sexualities or genders defy and offend norms cover a complex spatial, social, and psychological terrain. Jordan 2009: 169

chichiman battyman

fish pede faggot

makoume

zame

sewer rat schwuchtel koni shoga fudge packer moffee sodomite onisan dyke

kuchu

Demeaning terms for queer people in different languages

Throughout history, many queers decided to ‘add the component of migrant to their identities’ (Triger 2012: 269) because restrictive policies and a dominant heteronormative heritage did not allow them to express their identities freely. These refugees differ from other asylum claimants insofar as the process of migration is usually not triggered by immediate threat for life. The pressure to move can approach much more subtle: ‘Portrayals of homophobic violence instill fear, and this fear becomes embodied constraining movement, enforcing isolation, and fueling mistrust of others and self.’ (Jordan 2009: 170) Being queer under these circumstances means to always be careful who to trust, to meet in secrecy and to align one’s gender performance to social expectations. 27

Death penalty Up to life in prison Imprisonment Unenforced penalty Restricted freedom of expression Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory

In some countries it is common belief that there were no queer people before the arrival of the Europeans and that homosexuality is basically a Western disease.

Some postcolonial scholars turn this perspective around: Historian Tim Stanley (2014) argues that homophobia is a result of European imperialism referring to the example of Ugandan King Mwanga II who feared to loose his male harem to the growing influence of Christian missionaries.

Indeed, while Europe likes to associate itself with civil progression - an unquestioned perpetuation of colonial habits - it often forgets its own shortcomings. In Germany, for example, 50.000 homosexuals, that were convicted under laws abolished only 20 years ago, are still not rehabilitated. 29

Conchita Wurst, winner of European Song Contest 2014

It is not hard to imagine that many people living in hostile environments do not even consider the possibility that they could develop same sex interests as long as there is such a tremendous stigma connected to it. It might be a travel to places known to be more liberal or a study exchange (Triger 2012: 271) that confronts them with positive images of homosexuality â&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;creating an imaginable life, and future, in which they could begin to embody and live their sexuality or gender.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Jordan 2009: 172) 30

Being a gay teenager in such a small village is not that much fun. (...) The beard is a statement to say that you can achieve anything, no matter who you are or how you look. (Brooks 2014)

The flow of images, ideas and identities through internet chat spaces, media events like the Eurovision Song Contest or NGO meetings create â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;interimbricated networks of local and transnational LGBTQ cultural sitesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Jordan 2009: 171). The encounters with queer people from all over the world let them learn of the possibility to live sexualities or genders beyond their national borders.

Who would not grant them the choice to live in places where they could marry their partner? Where adoption rights allow them to start a family? As a gay German I can identify strongly with these wishes as they both are not possible to realize in my country either. 31

Under scrutiny It is always the decision maker and not the applicant who has the power to name. Murray 2011: 130

Upon arrival, asylum seekers are subjected to a thorough investigation of the legitimacy of their claims. Deception might lead to the immediate rejection of their claims. The problem here is that the ‘refugee system […] was not designed with LGBT refugees in mind’ (ibid.: 166). Refugee law puts the burden of proof on the person submitting a claim (Magardie 2003: 82). But unlike members of a persecuted political party or religion, queer refugees rarely have documentary proof of their personal experiences at hand’ (ibid.: 83). Additionally, the refugees might be hesitant to disclose the actual reason for their migration in fear of ‘being subjected to further abuse and discrimination by the authorities in the country of asylum.’ (ibid.: 82) Of course, applications for any other reason than the actual one ‘run the risk of having their applications rejected on the basis of lack of credibility’ (ibid.: 82). The asylum system - nowadays rather a refugee rejection system - might not be unaware of these problems but actually use them to its benefit. Zvi Triger (2012: 273) reminds us of the longstanding tradition to single out homosexuals when he writes: 34

‘The rise of the bureaucratic state, with its development of intricate administrative apparatus to screen out undesirable immigrants based on physical as well as psychological traits, arose around the same time as federal authorities in the United States began to monitor homosexuals.’ (Triger 2012: 273) Lastly, queer refugees are often hesitant to disclose their identities because the stigmatization that they try to leave behind has traveled with them: Family members might already live in the country and other refugees might not tolerate queer people living next to them in the refugee center. The asylum system is not always sensitive to these problems. For example, initial interviews are often ‘held […] within earshot of other asylum seekers’ (ibid.: 83) and officers have disclosed the identities to relatives before - resulting in repudiation of the queer refugee. 35

black obese queer woman

It is important to be aware of the intersectionality of refugee identities. Claimants are not just queer, they might also be black obese women and therefore ‘judged, evaluated and scrutinized through racialized lenses in everyday settings as well as every step of the way through the refugee process’ (Murray 2011: 130). In particular, asylum seekers are evaluated against the personal stereotypes of – obviously mostly heterosexual – officers and judges: In some cases claims were denied for the refugees did not look homosexual. (McGhee 2003) 36

Identity Synthesis

Pride

Acceptance

Tolerance

Comparison

Identity Confusion The individuals in charge often display little knowledge about international queer identities and rely on an outdated staged model of homosexual identity formation (Berg and Millbank 2009: 206). Moreover, this Western model is applied without questioning if it has any relevance to non-Western identities. That leads to the paradoxical situation that queer asylum seekers have to adapt their claim as well as possible to the expectations of the ones who will review it. 37

Gender? Coming out? Threat?

Western Narratives The most important piece of evidence in the hearing of the asylum claimant is a personal narrative normally written together with a lawyer. Such a text often consists â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;of internal, often unspoken, or unspeakable qualities, desires, and practices such that extremely private experiences infuse all aspects of the claim.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Murray 2011: 130) During the hearing, the claimants have to speak about this (to them so far) unspeakable. 38

Applicant performing accordingly to expected trajectories

They are ‘asked to make a positive claim to an identity that they may inhabit only uneasily’ (Jordan 2009: 175). The claimants realize quickly that ‘the refugee system, implicitly and explicitly, evaluates applicants against expected trajectories of refugee flight and against Western narratives of LGBT identities, coming out, or gender identity dysphoria.’ (ibid.: 166) 39

So from the moment of entering the asylum process they have to get involved in a process of ‘creativity, intense learning, and rapid adaptation to a new set of terms, ideas and norms about the relationship of one’s sexual practices and desires to the socio-political world in which they are rendered sensible.’ (Murray 2011: 133) They have to learn how sexual diversity is organized, named and located (ibid.: 129) as it is common that they might be asked about participation in the pride parade or visits to gay bars – even though this might be of little interest to them. Instead of trying to understand the cultural normative in the place of origin and the individual responses to them, the current system forces refugee claimants to perform according to ‘a normative Euro-American sexual identity formation, that is, a staged model of sexual identity development applied to one of 4 sexual identity categories (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender).’ (ibid.: 132)

My coming out, on the other hand, was a letter to my parents. They didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t question me even though I had never been to a gay bar. 41

Arriving Micropublics are moments of cultural destabilisation, offering individuals the chance to break out of fixed relations and fixed notions, and through this, to learn to become different through new patterns of social interaction. Amin 2002: 970

To receive refuge does not mean to be welcome. As ‘racialized others’ (Amin 2013: 4), gay refugees are exposed to an ongoing agenda of xenophobic opinion makers that speak of them ‘as an encumbrance, a threat to historic community; to be kept out or domesticated as liberal subjects.’ (ibid.: 2) Europe has a long standing tradition to define itself in opposition to others (Diebschlag 2015: 51) and regularly viewed these ‘outcasts (blacks, Jews, Chinese and others) as hypersexuals as well as effeminate’ (Triger 2012: 271). Zvi Triger shows how the figure of ‘The Wandering Gay’ threatens nationalistic concepts of family and triggered exclusionary immigration laws. Until today

‘sexuality is what disturbs the full citizenship of homosexuals. Substituting women and blacks, the homosexual has become the anti-citizen, remaining the last to suffer from various forms of discrimination that were abolished, at least formally, for others.’ (ibid.: 277)

To be quite honest, I have difficulties with complete equalization. (...) I am not sure when it comes to the good of the child. (Kistner et al. 2014)

Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany

Adoption and marriage (and with it the ability to receive a residency permit for partners) are surely the most prominent of these deprived rights (ibid.: 270) but a legislative perspective is not enough to evaluate the experience of gay refugees. For their right to live in Europe is acknowledged by law, they experience every day how their presence is perceived as threatening nevertheless; they are â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;out of place in an otherwise shared commonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Amin 2013: 4). 45

The ongoing discrimination is not the only problem because society acts ‘in networks divided by class, ethnicity and level of education.’ (ibid.: 328) Therefore even those Westerners who prefer to live in a diverse neighborhood do not develop more diverse networks (Blokland and Eijk 2010: 316). For refugees it is consequently impossible to break their isolation. They need a society that does not tolerate them but respects them because tolerance keeps hierarchies in place: Only the dominant can tolerate the other (Amin 2013: 4). Respect for each other requires a substantial change.

Tolerance

Respect

Research in urban context have for a long time already tried to unravel how an ‘ethos of mixing’ (Wessendorf 2013) could be fostered. Ash Amin for example calls for the design of micropublics that make ‘space and feeling for a narrative of community that takes the presence of 46

the stranger as given.’ (Amin 2013: 8) He names sport clubs, discos or schools as possible ‘spaces of cultural displacement […] where engagement with strangers in a common activity disrupts easy labeling of the stranger as enemy and initiates new attachments. They are moments of cultural destabilisation, offering individuals the chance to break out of fixed relations and fixed notions, and through this, to learn to become different through new patterns of social interaction.’ (Amin 2002: 970) I have adopted the conviction that urban design is less about the layout of spaces but about institutions and networks and how they facilitate or constrain the development of social capital. I look at Cocktail as an interesting experiment that designed a completely new micropublic and want to understand its inner workings in order to extract design implications for other refugee programmes. In particular, I want to learn how the participation impacts the life of both Dutch and refugee buddies.

joining connecting localizing expanding 1 In addition to participatory observations at the group activities, I conducted interviews with the core team of the organization as well as volunteers and their refugee buddies. Remixing their answers I was able to extrapolate keywords that I organized according to dramaturgic considerations. We will hear about experiences, disappointments and conclude with thoughts on how the organization could be developed further. Interview partners Refugees: Isaac & Maike (names changed) Volunteers: Ayda, Ayla, Martijn & Paris Coordinator: Martin 48

ritualizing experimenting mixing protecting 2 organizing participating 3 49

joining connecting localizing expanding

AYDA

My last buddy was an Iranian mother of two who lived in the asylum seekers center in Leersum. She did not want her children to know and could almost never attend the meetings of Cocktail. 52

One day I visited her with my friends. We had good food and a lot of fun playing soccer. In the end she said that this day reminded her that this place is not so bad. I want people to feel welcome. 53

Joining Like many volunteers, I was not actively searching for refugee projects when I joined Cocktail. For many the initial motivation was just to be more active in the political side of the queer community. PARIS I became a volunteer in a time when I felt I want to do something that helps others directly. I always felt – but never did it enough - that I want to be part of the gay community. MARTIJN I had been thinking about becoming a volunteer for a longer time already. I had actually planned to join a programme that supports old queer people but when I went to the website of COC I discovered Cocktail. I thought: Damn, that’s interesting! Pure coincidence. Many of the volunteers that I got to know had never met a refugee before. To them, Cocktail was a way to bridge the divide between two separate parts of society that they couldn’t combine on their own. PARIS I had no idea what the life of a refugee was like. When I was walking in the streets, I thought, maybe there are some around me but I never knew it was them. Actively seeking to challenge one’s own perspective on the world often needs a trigger. Volunteers mentioned the frus54

tration with their homogeneous social circle, having moved to Utrecht themselves and seeking connection or returning from a journey that paved the way for new encounters. AYLA I had just returned from Asia and was still in a flow of meeting new people. With Cocktail I had the chance to encounter people I would never meet. For the refugees, the motivation lies within their isolation. They want to connect to people who are also queer and - for most this is a first - try out this part of their identity in a safe environment. ISAAC It is important to be able to talk to someone who goes through the same process as you. When I came to the Netherlands I was assigned a psychologist like everyone else. We tried to talk about the problems connected to my sexuality but the last three years have been increasingly harder for me. Finally she sent me to Cocktail so I would experience acceptance and feel more open. But before they can meet a buddy or attend a group meeting, they have to meet a member of Cocktailâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s core team that tries to assess the motivation behind joining the organization and looks for identity markers that would make a good match with another member. 55

desk

Award for Cocktail

art

dining table

kitchen

2 1&4

art

wine

couch

Three kisses on the cheek

TV Fragmentary mental map drawn after the visit

The intake interview was my first physical experience of Cocktail. I visited Martin, the coordinator of the organization, in his apartment. The evening news were still on TV while he prepared tea for us. The interior of the room told me a personal story about Martin that I would not have been able to observe in a neutral setting. He presents himself before I am scrutinized - an important difference to the bureaucratic experience. 56

unorganized

2 Martin

I was waiting behind the counter watching Martin. We chat casually and I have time to look at the room. Many artworks, a big dining table, very tidy.

Martin

soft, very big for me alone, we drink tea, I am too excited and eat the cookie very fast

We sat down and I started to talk about myself. Why do I want to volunteer? What are my fields of interest and skills? At the same time, Martin tells me more about Cocktailâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s structure and rituals. Interestingly, this conversation follows a ritual itself. When I visit Martin for the second time (to interview him), everything takes place the same way. 57

The intake interview is an important experience for both sides. The group can gather information whether or not to approve the person. And the applying volunteer/refugee can learn more about the organization and adjust false preconceptions. MARTIJN After my intake interview, Martin introduced me to my buddy. We decided to have drinks but when we left the room, he expressed irritation: I expected that you would be single! Well, we have to be realistic about it. I have encountered a couple of intakes where I had to stress the no sex subject. If you are from a refugee center or the illegal circle in Amsterdam, I can understand the misunderstanding. But when we tell more about what Cocktail does, they understand the value it can bring them. I think boundaries are very important to maintain safety in a group. If buddies and volunteers were having sex, the whole structure of the group would just disintegrate. It is very important for the volunteer to realize that there is an enormous difference in power. The refugees are often in precarious situations: a lot of problems, a lot to lose, instability. If a volunteer would use that vulnerability in order to enter a relationship of any kind, there would be a huge misbalance in that relationship. That does not mean that the connection with my buddy is not real. I care a lot about him. But there is always an implicit notion that we meet in the context of a group. 58

unequal legal status

unequal social stability

unequal financials depression traumata

conduct policy

Connecting Every match at Cocktail starts with talking. The refugees talk about their background, their life in the Netherlands, about being queer. They meet every other week, depending on their work or interest in each other. Almost always, the situation of the refugee is much more in focus than that of the volunteer. ISAAC My volunteer has become a very important person for me because I can talk about my... things that I cannot speak with everyone about. I like that she has time for me and tries to understand me. She listens and gives me ideas. When we talk it feels like we already know each other for a long time. AYLA In the beginning you were a bit shy but you are trying very hard to be more open. I really admire how you are working to be more outgoing and meet new people. ISAAC We try to meet each other once every week if you are not busy. Right now I have no school so I am ready any time you tell me that you have time to meet me. We meet at my place or in the city. We make food, we eat, we talk a lot. Seeing you is always nice. 60

Talking about flight, asylum, loneliness, queerness

Bonding through shared interests and empowering via small goals

Ending the buddy partnership when both parties feel ready

For many refugees just being able to talk is a big relief and they pour out their heart to their volunteers. But what happens afterwards? Some take their buddy out to dance and explore the queer scene, others search for similar interests and find them for example in a shared passion for music. All this helps to place the struggles in the background and enjoy normal time together whilst still knowing about them. Experiencing the relaxed way in which the Cocktail volunteers live their queer identities, serves as a role model to the refugees. They see that it can be normal to share an apartment with your boyfriend, to plan on having kids or being in an open relationship. And they learn that they can now determine which lifestyle they want to lead themselves. 61

Localizing The spatial experience of refugees in their receiving country differs drastically from less restricted mobilities that citizens of that country can enjoy. I understand mobility as an inclusive term for all sorts of capitals (originally defined by Bordieu) whose extent determines the real freedoms that people enjoy, as Amartya Sen (2001) puts it. It would have been very interesting to extend this paper by a closer look at the refugeeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s individual production of space and how it changes over time. But this requires a level of trust that I feel to have only acquired now that I am leaving the country again. However, some conclusions can be drawn from my research. Safety is the main motivation for a number of refugees while navigating through urban environment. Maike for example lives in a refugee center but has family in Utrecht who do not accept her queerness and forced her into a marriage that ended in divorce. In order to protect herself from the negative experience of aggravating her family she did not dare to go to any LGBTIQ parties. MAIKE I was afraid of how my family would react if they find out. They always control me. But with my volunteer I went. Ironically, queer spaces turned out to be safe spaces for Maike because those are exactly the ones where she will not 62

run in with her family ever. They provide protected islands whereas public space is experienced as threatening and hostile. The volunteers of Cocktail that I interviewed saw it as part of their task to introduce their buddy to these places. AYDA If someone is from a place where the gay scene is not vibrant, I start really slow: First CafĂŠ Kalff, then Bodytalk and only then we go to PANN and other parties. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good way to build some experience. MARTIJN Introducing my buddy to the support group Prisma was an important step. Now he is going there on his own, made contacts and grew more confident. It is not only that the refugees thereby discover new places but also that they learn local codes of behaviour, how communities organize and how to access this information knowledge that will also be of avail in other areas of their life in the Netherlands. And most of all: By being in contact with locals, their language skills grow exponentially. All of this leads to the observation that safe spaces are very relative. While Maike tries to avoid every encounter with her family by minimizing any time in public, Isaac meets his buddy in the city center without a problem even though he is not openly gay to his friends. This is possible because they live in Kanaleneiland. The district is rather disconnected 63

from the city center and its social life (influenced by the high number of migrants) does not revolve around the typical meeting spaces in the center. In this sense, the safe space that Cocktail provides is also just a mental space: All the places that the refugees visit are accessible for them anyways but it is the social construct of Cocktail that makes a different behavior possible. The difference between the behavior within the framework of Cocktail and outside of it can be illustrated with an episode that Martijn told me. MARTIJN We are very careful. Last week I was in Groningen I saw one of our refugees on the street. And my first thought was: ignore him. He was with friends and I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to out him as I was in a group of gay guys. But then came to me and said:

Hey! Cocktail!

Yeah! I met you there! How are you doing?

Even though this encounters turned out to be uncritical, it reminds us of how difficult it would be to translate the relationships that are developed within Cocktail into regu64

lar friendships (see following pages). Additionally, we must not forget that all the refugees in Cocktail have been or are still incapacitated by the refugee system that is investigating their claims. Most of the times they are not able to choose their place of residence and are not allowed to leave the country.

MARTIN When we organized the weekend trip for everybody, we got free facilities because the parents of one of the volunteers have a huge farm. There was just one tiny problem: It is just over the border to Germany. One side of the road is in Germany, one is in the Netherlands. So those of us who do not have a residency permit yet, couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come.

Negotiating The volunteers’ perspectives Friendship

AYDA My buddy is welcome at my place any time. Even if I am busy studying it’s okay for her to come over and watch TV. The asylum center where she lives is just too horrible.

AYLA The bond we are creating didn’t happen spontaneously and it has a certain goal. But I would like it if this evolves into a friendship one day.

In a setting that does not define the nature of their relationship, both parties have to examine their own wishes and abilities. In this way, every connection is an interpretation of the idea of Cocktail. While some volunteers might try to help the refugees to be as Dutch as possi66

Volunteer Work

MARTIJN If it was up to my buddy, why wouldn’t we be friends? We connected through music and spent a lot of time together. He is very lonely. But I am doing this as volunteer work.

PARIS I have been very conscious about the difference from the start. I wouldn’t necessarily invite my buddy to have dinner in my place from the start. I think that’s a bit intimate.

ble, others see the value of this relationship in expanding their own horizon. In any case, however, the line between friendship and volunteering has to be drawn by everyone. The conscious distinction between those two helps the buddy partnership because it reminds the volunteers that they take on responsibility for another human in a different way than a casual friendship would ask for. 67

Negotiating The refugeeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perspective

For the refugees the boundary between their role at Cocktail and just being friends has no less meaning. This might be surprising as they are the receiving party in the setting of Cocktail and wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to draw any boundaries. That is especially true for those that are hungry for connection to people with the same life experience. The loneliness they experience even amongst friends can be unbearable. 68

But while the volunteers have to draw a line to not overstrain their own ability to recover from the emotional work that they put into Cocktail, the refugees have to protect themselves as they are navigating through various social circles. ISAAC There is a big difference between being friends and being buddies at Cocktail. I have friends in Utrecht whom I feel close to. They are even from my country. But my sexuality is something that we cannot talk about. The reason lies in our education, our religion, and our culture. I don’t have the power to talk to them. They wouldn’t understand. They don’t see it as something positive. Isaac demonstrates a very conscious manipulation of his social life. Instead of seeing his friends as ‘behind’ (a typical Western concept when reviewing the situation in other areas), Isaac seems to assess the different groups neutrally. He understands that both his buddy and his friends are influenced by starkly different life experiences and that only he integrates them all into his identity. In order to maintain social connections that are important to him, he has no interest to integrate his CockCountry Cocktail volunteer into his usual of Origin tail circle of friends.

Work 69

... Family

MAIKE Cocktail has changed my life. Before leaving my country I could never talk about my preference for women because I was afraid. But at Cocktail they understand me. Since I am here so much has changed in my life and I am happy I have a place to go to. 70

ISAAC There are so many stories in my past that I need to talk about. Cocktail is a place where I can exchange ideas and meet new people. It is important to see people who have the same feelings like you. Being part of Cocktail changes me. I am happy there. 71

Expanding Volunteers The volunteers speak very passionately about their experience with Cocktail. They all emphasize that they had absolutely no idea about the real extend of the struggles their buddies had to experience. They talk about their sheltered life on the Dutch countryside where few migrants live and that even in a city like Amsterdam they did not have much contact to this part of the public. AYLA With Cocktail the world gets layered. MARTIJN I see now where I am in respect to other people in the world. We have to keep in mind that these are people that were willing to make an effort to reach out. They use Cocktail to get into contact with people they usually would not meet which makes them beneficiaries of the programme as much as the volunteers. If the much quoted â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;social fabricâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; of a society is so weak that it does not provide casual encounter between different groups, artificial partnerships like the one provided by Cocktail seem like one viable solution. Such 72

micropublics can invent new intersections. Research has shown that it is not necessary to change the composition of private relationships to foster diversity as long as an â&#x20AC;&#x153;ethos of mixingâ&#x20AC;? (Wessendorf 2013) prevails in public life and there are enough bridges, e.g. corner shops or public institutions, that provide spaces of getting to know each other. AYLA Cocktail shows how people from very different backgrounds can connect to each other. To me that is worth a lot.

AYDA My last buddy was from Iran, my own country. It was very hard for me to see how brave she is. All she wanted was to be safe. It c could have been my story.

I did buddy . y m e d Befor existe PARIS ow Benin kn even

not

ritualizing experimenting mixing protecting

MARTIJN

It makes me happy to see guys from China, France, Angola and Marroco smiling from ear to ear. So many nationalities in one place and everyone working together. Cocktail creates a unique safety. 76

My buddy is a great cook and makes beautiful cakes, too. On that evening we were his sous-chefs and created a great Angolian buffet for the group meeting. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m glad I was able to give that to him. 77

Ritualizing PARIS The culture of Cocktail is to enjoy being together, feeling like a family if that is possible. The dinners provide a familiar feeling that is impossible to achieve in the one on one situation.

Dining together has a significant binding function for social groups in many different cultures. We internalize its meaning and importance as children and carry on to celebrate this ritual in different contexts. Dinners are Cocktailâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular group activity. They started out in private apartments and moved to public multipurpose rooms when the group got bigger. The meal is prepared by a changing group of volunteers and refugees. The different stages of feasting structure the evenings. 78

Aperitif: Everyone arrives at their own speed. Smiles and hugs are exchanged as everyone recognizes familiar faces. Wine and other drinks are being consumed while people wander around to casually chat with people in different parts of the room. Buffet: The organizing volunteer of the evening welcomes everybody and the cooks explain their creations. Everybody cheers and lines up to fill the plates. During the meal, conversations are more intense and longer than in the arrival phase. Intermission to digest: The group shares thoughts from the slip box (next page), distributes Sinterklaas presents or collects ideas for the next activities. Dessert: Cue to get ready to call it a night.

The Slip Box Some pens, small paper notes, a box - that is the simple set up for a beautiful and well established ritual within Cocktail. After the main course of the dinner has been finished, one of the volunteers walks around, asking everyone to share a thought or a wish on an anonymous note. This way, deeper reflections can be shared that do not find a place in the casual conversations. Usually, the notes are uplifting and heartwarming. One by one, members of Cocktail draw a note and read it to the group that reacts with cheers. 80

Small Talk There is really only one thing on the agenda during a Cocktail group event: Meeting each other. Everything that happens has to serve this purpose, which is why going to the cinema together does not find many enthusiastic participants. The most common form (A) is to move from person to person to catch up with as many people as possible in the course of the evening. But everyone appropriates the requirements of the ritual to their own needs and so it is also possible to spend the entire evening with only few others (B), thus forming stronger bonds. 81

Cocktail creates a deep emotional bond between its members. They are convinced to do the right thing, but even more, they actually like each other. AYDA There is something in Cocktail which we cannot explain that keeps us coming there. Even if our buddy is long gone, we are still coming. To be part of Cocktail unites us. The members of Cocktail experience connection to people that they would not encounter in this way in their everyday lives. They are drawn in by an institution that uses a surprisingly simple and common set of rituals and design strategies that nevertheless give us an idea of what Michael Hardt might be talking about when he describes institutions of 82

political love needed to reinvent the way in which we interact in society:

“Love is a kind of ritual by which we continually return to those people and things with whom we agree in Spinoza’s sense, that is, those with whom the multiplicities that compose us are able to enter into productive relations. But this return is not mere repetition. Think of the way we have sex with a familiar lover: I touch you there, then you touch me here, then we do this, and so on until we are done. It is a ritual, a series of habits, but if it were mere repetition the magic would fail. Each return, each encounter, in a ceremonial carries with it the power and mystery of the event. That’s what makes it live. Love conceived of as a ceremonial is thus an institution in the sense that it allows you to return to, prolong, and link together in sequence the encounters you desire.” (Hardt 2012: 14) 83

Experimenting Next to the very personal relationship that is built between volunteers and their buddies, the group activities provide a pool of diverse queer identities: The participants see a young guy in a happy relationship with a much older man, get invited to join a gay sport club, learn the terms of queer activism and the codes of small talk - the group becomes testing ground for an adapted identity in a new environment. ISAAC At Cocktail I saw many things I didn’t know about before. It is a place to get to know myself better. The people of Cocktail are average people in the best connotation of this term and therefore very different to stereotypical pride parade pictures often used in public discourse to illustrate queer related content. They are queer but also so much more and they live the queer part of their lives through different interpretations. In the context of Cocktail, these interpretations become unobtrusive archetypes - always present in the background but not forcing anyone to adapt to them. Therefore the refugees have the chance to explore these possible identity features without being intimidated or expected to adapt to them - an important difference to the way in which queer stereotypes are used in the asylum process (see “Under Scrutiny”). That is so because unlike most state officials the members of Cocktail actually live these identities and know about the multidimensionality of performing as themselves in a heteronormative society. 84

open

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gate moth

m ar r i a g

pride parade

butch 85

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Identities are biographical and ever-changing narratives, sometimes comprising conflicting fields. Sexual orientation alone cannot provide an identity.

Mixing One of the concerns with the group activities that were mentioned during the interviews is that there is a tendency for the two defined groups ‘volunteer’ and ‘refugee’ to use the meetings more to meet amongst each other than to further mix the groups. MARTIJN I don’t think everyone is aware that they have a responsibility to bind the group together. The volunteers especially should be on the front lines in reaching out and talking to people. On the other hand, even those to whom starting a conversation with strangers comes naturally, express the importance of taking time to bond with those in their category. AYDA I am one of the youngest but I like to be around the other volunteers. They have good humor and they do this much longer than me. So just like it was described for the refugees above, the volunteers also experience the participation in Cocktail as an opportunity to relate themselves to other queer identities. In a buddy programme that often consists of sharing traumatic experiences between two people, both sides can enjoy the group activities as an opportunity to meet others who they assume to understand their position without explanation. 86

MARTIJN The refugees can connect with each other on a different level than they can with their volunteer. Because they might be from the same region, speak the same language or because they share a similar history of leaving their country. At the moment, the objective of the group meetings is unspecified and therefore used in various ways; to some extent resulting in dissatisfaction for the organizing team. The group meetings give opportunity to meet within the volunteers or refugees and to gain empowerment from similar experiences (support group), a casual meeting place and a buddy programme at large where it would be the task of both sides to reach out exclusively to people within the other category. Support Group

Casual Meeting

Buddies XL

1+1

Protecting Without a doubt, a special quality of the group meetings is that they create a safe environment for interaction. Cocktail adds a second safety net to the already secured environment of other queer meeting places by excluding anyone who did not pass through the selection process. cafĂŠs, parties

public

all queers

interested persons

Cocktail

interv

iew

But not always do the group activities take place in the insular spaces of rented multipurpose rooms. Every now and then Cocktail meets up to see a movie together or dance at a queer party. MARTIN That was always really nice. But we really had to go as a group and talk about it before. At a party the group can disintegrate quickly. And it is not an anonymous space which is especially important for those 88

members that are the most vulnerable because they do not live this part of their identity openly. However, throughout the last years, there have always been attempts to expand the activities of Cocktail beyond the ritualized dinner. During my time with the group they collected a lot of ideas during one evening:

Karaoke

Discussions

Cooking Class

Bicycle Tour & Picnic

Visit Historic Places Cocktail’s Got Talent

Book Club Join Gay Pride Do Sports Together

Clearly these are beautiful ideas but there is considerable doubt that they will be successfully realized within the framework of Cocktail. PARIS So far the dinners create the most turn up. And I don’t think that will ever change because they are closest to the refugees’ needs: a warm feeling of togetherness.

In addition it must be said that every new activity will have to be tried out and modified before it can deploy the same effects as the intriguingly well rehearsed rituals of the Cocktail dinner. Therefore it was a smart choice not to replace a dinner with another activity but to test how the ideas for new activities could be realized within the framework of the already familiar setting. Karaoke was among the most popular votes and was therefore placed on the agenda for the march meeting. The embarrassment inscribed into this pastime can actually work well in group building processes because the participants make themselves vulnerable. The audience rewards this with love and sympathy.

dessert buffet

ed ject pro

lyri

bar singers: very exposed

audience: sits in fixed rows which makes it difficult to find partners to sing with jury: loving, with humor karaoke machine: only old Western classics that many of the younger members (especially those from other countries) do not know 91

organizing participating

PARIS When I think of Cocktail, the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;organizationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; comes to mind immediately. Unlike the asylum seekers, the volunteers have to attend managerial meetings. Sometimes I wish there would be more 94

time for intervision. Often there too much other stuff on the agenda and we only talk about urgent cases. If I want to learn from the experience of others, I have to ask them directly. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not built in. 95

Martin is one of the reasons that motivate me to attend the dinners. I like him very much. Martin is a fatherly figure. Everybody loves him.

MAIKE

MARTIJN

Martin is a very peaceful person. He definitely has a certain Zen in his aura. But at the same time he is also very organized which pushes Cocktail a little bit towards the bureaucratic direction. But we control it mostly.

PARIS 96

The undisputed leader of Cocktail is Martin Oortwijn. He is the major driving force behind the development of Cocktail and is constantly developing the programme further. His fortĂŠ is the creation of a far reaching network of (in-)formal bonds. MARTIN I am in a gay choir, two sporting clubs... so I know a lot of people and a lot of people know me. Additionally, I try to connect with the people in charge in all important organizations. It helps that my professional background is in the health care field but networking stays a lot of work. Judging by what members of Cocktail say, Martin has so far been the one who keeps the organization together internally as well. MARTIN People want to feel at home and a central person can be very important. So I want to know everybody. This sparks the question how Cocktail will be able to continue once Martin decides to end his volunteer work there. But the very active and responsible activity team establishes similar positions already today thus pooling responsibility.

Growing Networks as told by Martin

4 years ago In the beginning it helped us that our topic was featured on the agenda through two events: European Conference on Refugee Law VU Amsterdam Investigation of Refugee Centers after complaints by COC and religious groups

3 years ago It was time to do more about our own PR. It is important to get in touch with people as high as possible. After all, it is their responsibility to provide a safe place for the refugees. We can only help. Discussion evening in cooperation with Hivos (one of the members featured on TV) Nomination for Annie Brouwer-Korf-Prize Trainings for asylum organizations 98

2 years ago After our small conference in the year before, we were invited by the mayor to do the next conference in the town hall. Of course we made it a big event. Conference in cooperation with Hivos Town Hall Utrecht First weekend away together That was fantastic. We really became a group and that helped all of our activities. But we could only afford it because our friends at CafĂŠ Bodytalk shared their prize money with us.

1 year ago Because of our growing popularity we had a big number of refugees that wanted to join us from all over the country. We decided to start more local hubs instead. Winner of the Annie Brouwer-Korf-Prize Water Pride Parade

(Dis-)Continuous Volunteering The previous pages might have reminded the reader of the success story that Cocktail is. But they do not show the vulnerability of a volunteer organization to shifts in individual life trajectories of its members. MARTIJN We dream big but weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re chased by reality. We are all volunteers. Everything that we set out to do, takes a massive amount of time.

meeting buddy 2-4x/month 6-8 hours

group activity 1x/month 5 hours

typical expenditure of time for volunteers

Every additional commitment (for example to organize a dinner, a weekend trip or a workshop for public servants) demands more time. Not everyone is able and willing to commit this much leisure time.

intake interviews 4x/month 8 hours

core group meeting 1x/month 3 hours 100

additional commitment for a member of the core team

But it is not only time that the volunteers have to provide: Committing to a deeper involvement with Cocktail can lead to a conflict of interest where other goals in life might interfere with the volunteer job. AYDA I was meeting with another volunteer to plan new activities. But then she finished her studies and went on a big journey for six months. And I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pursue it alone. Before this episode the activity side of Cocktail had been on and off several times already (see next page). Even though the meetings had always been a success, it was just not possible to establish a structure that allowed for continual upkeep. Therefore it might very well be that the current vibrant activity team disappears again due to personal decisions or unexpected life events. But this is a risk worth taking as personal dedication is exactly what marks an important and valuable distinction from any buddy programme set up by the government. The thought and care that the volunteers invest is precious.

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(Dis-)Continuous Volunteering II

The high motivation to do more together is caused by the first dinner but no continuous team can be established. 102

A weekend away stirs new hope for monthly activities. But even though there is a real budget, the outcome stays the same.

Two volunteers start to organize activities irregularly for six months, then one goes on a trip and it all collapses.

Martin organizes one meeting because people keep asking for it, then sets up a team that now works since fall 2014. 103

Friendly Takeover? Every couple of months the volunteers of Cocktail meet with the core team to receive information about new developments and discuss future strategies. When I attended the december meeting, I was surprised: there were no refugees present. MARTIN Cocktail is a volunteer organization. I find it important that the volunteers meet each other to talk about the problems they encounter. If the refugees are there, they need their time and attention and the volunteers cannot talk openly. Certainly the volunteers need time of their own for intervision to find solutions for problems they encounter, learn from the group experience and find emotional support in the difficult relationships they enter with their buddies. But within the present structure of Cocktail the refugees have no permanent forum to express their experience of Cocktail, let alone participate in the implementation of their feedback in any way. In fact, in the last 18 months, there were only three opportunities to give feedback - and it was always targeted towards the activities only.

09/’13: Brainstorming during weekend

12/’14: Telephone interview

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01/’15: Brainstorming and vote at group activity

Collection of ideas in january ‘15

It cannot be expected from a volunteer organization to be professionals in designing and moderating effective brainstorming situations but some of my observations of the process in january were problematic: • After sitting down we were immediately asked to write down our ideas for activities - a cold start that skipped the much needed sharing of previous experiences and did not involve any creative methods. • There was no distinction in the votes between volunteers and refugees. So it cannot be said with certainty that all results reflect the interests of the refugees. • The results of the vote were not shared with the group (neither that evening nor later), thereby creating a blackbox even though the intention was to make the activity group more accessible and transparent. 105

Of course it can be argued that the feedback flows also through informal channels. Martin and the other volunteers try to get to know everyone and stay accessible. From my experience, nobody has the feeling that they could not address problems. AYDA Cocktail listens to everyone. I really like that. They always take your ideas seriously. They are never arrogant and want you to be more involved. Being that open is a wonderful achievement for any group, but it also means that it must always be the personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own initiative to ask for involvement instead of creating an atmosphere in which everyone is constantly contributing to the sustainment of the group. I am insisting on this point because it seems incongruous for an organization so dedicated to the personal development of the refugees not to put greater emphasis on letting them give distinction to the organization by themselves. However, there is reasonable doubt in regard to the refugeeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actual ability to get more involved. PARIS Many of them still feel like visitors and some go through severe depression. Additionally, I would find it practically impossible to let the refugees participate in the organization of Cocktail. Not only because of the language issues but also because of the many cultural aspects that would need to be translated. 106

But its is exactly here that I see a major opportunity for Cocktail. With their acquired knowledge in supporting refugees they could begin to experiment with ways to overcome those cultural barriers without hurting the efficacy of the organization. This becomes even more urgent as more and more of the refugees obtain a permanent status in the Netherlands. MARTIN If you want to support someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s integration into the Dutch society, you cannot stop when they have their status. Other organizations have already started to provide professional service for this time (e.g. support in finding a job) so Cocktail does not need to change itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s agenda. It should rather use itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s expertise to provide something that these organizations cannot provide: a safe environment in which to experience the feeling of self-efficacy and growth of confidence acquired through being more involved with the organization of activities in Cocktail. The core team of Cocktail is constantly re-designing the institution already and they know it much more intimately than I could have got to known it during my short time in the Netherlands. Nevertheless I would like to use my perspective as a student of Urban Design to make suggestions for the further development of Cocktail in Utrecht.

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Future prospects

Refugee Volunteer

Some refugees have already ended their buddy relationship and decided to become volunteers themselves. This is an extremely valuable resource for Cocktail and should be encouraged more to let their experience with the organization flow back into future strategies. Additionally, the already begun search for bi-cultural volunteers should be pursued. They know the struggle to deal with a the multiplicity of identity influences from their own experience. 108

During the january brainstorming the idea for an evening of “Cocktail’s Got Talent” – based on the popular TV show – was born. Cocktail should commit to this claim more broadly and find ways of using the individual skills and expertise of its members for group activities. The refugees like everyone carry an enormous knowledge. While the asylum process forces them to be idle, Cocktail could show them that their knowledge is perceived as a meaningful contribution. 109

Refugee

+ volunteer

activities

Not all queer refugees need a volunteer on their side but they would enjoy the opportunity to meet each other nevertheless. Cocktail should explore the possibility to open its group activities to these refugees. Activities would become the heartbeat of the organization while the buddy programme turned into an additional step open for consideration to each member. This change in emphasis would certainly lead to an increase in more self-reliant refugees in the group who should be encouraged to take on responsibility for the activities alongside the non-refugees. 110

Core Team buddy programme

activities

Consequently, the two parts of Cocktail would need to follow different principles: While the volunteers in the buddy programme need the separation between the two groups for intervision, the activity side has to embrace both perspectives fully. Therefore a structural redistribution should be considered: If the buddy programme was outsourced to a subgroup, and the group activities in exchange organized by the core team that also is responsible for networking and special projects, the strategic meetings could open for everyone. In a separate meeting, issues of the buddy programme could be discussed amongst the volunteers only. On first glance this would result in even more meetings for the volunteers but the advantage lies in a more empowering structure of the group while also providing more time for intervision, which unfortunately often falls short due to the many things to be discussed during organizational meetings. 111

PANN Café Bodytalk

Prisma

Cocktail

Respect 2 Love

LGBTIQ sport clubs midzomergracht

Moreover, Cocktail needs to react on the recent establishment of the support group “Prisma” for bi-cultural LGBTIQ in Utrecht. A number of members is attending their meetings already so Cocktail would not need to intensify its own efforts into this direction. Strategic positioning within a wide network of activities could help Cocktail to concentrate on its own mission instead of trying to incorporate everything into one organization. 112

Active buddy projects Various stages of preparation

The founding of more local Cocktail hubs throughout the Netherlands the position of the Utrecht group also changes within COC. It will be interesting to see how these new groups appropriate the setting of Cocktail according to their needs and resources. Ideally Cocktail in Utrecht will be inspired by their ideas as well instead of staying the ideal (i.e. first) version. In order to learn from each other regular exchange will be necessary. 113

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Organizations like Cocktail can help us who grew up in the wealth and security of Europe to relate to those coming to us. The volunteers are learning to see their lives in a global perspective and to look beyond the label of the refugee. And the asylum claimants can experience what it means to be safe and learn to find their way around in a new environment. In Germany, to where I am returning now, only very few buddy programmes are up and running.

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MARTIN Cocktail stands for diversity and human rights. If you ask me, every asylum seeker should have a place like Cocktail.

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ISAAC All I am doing is trying to lead a normal life. To be on a positive way. That is very important to me.

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Kistner, Anna et al. (2014): Hidden Homophobia: Is Germany Really as Liberal as It Seems?, http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/germany-debates-gay-rights-after-pro-footballer-hitzlsperger-comes-out-a-943216-2.html (14.03.2015). Magardie, Sheldon (2003): ‘Is the applicant really gay?’ Legal responses to asylum claims based on persecution because of sexual orientation. In: Agend: Empowering Women for Gender Equity (55, Women. The Invisible Refugees), 81–87. McGhee, Derek (2003): Queer Strangers: Lesbian and Gay Refugees. In: Feminist Review (73, Exile and Asylum: Women Seeking Refuge in ‘Fortress Europe’), 145–147. Mouffe, Chantal (2008): Kritik als gegenhegemoniale Intervention. Online verfügbar unter http://eipcp.net/transversal/0808/mouffe/ de/print (14.08.2014). Mouffe, Chantal (2013): Artistic Strategies in Politics and Politicak Strategies in Art. Online verfügbar unter http://hemisphericinstitute. org/hemi/en/e-misferica-102/mouffe (10.01.2015). Murray, David A.B. (2011): Becoming Queer Here: Integration and Adaptation Experiences of Sexual Minority Refugees in Toronto. In: Refuge 28 (2), 127–134. Sen, Amartya (2001): Development as freedom. Oxford: Oxford U.P. Triger, Zvi (2012): Fear of the Wandering Gay: some reflections on citizenship, nationalism and recognition in same-sex relationships. In: International Journal of Law in Context 8 (2), 268–282. Vertovec, Steven (2007): Super-diversity and its implications. In: Ethnic and Racial Studies 30 (6), 1024–1054. 119