raising kids There’s bound to be sibling conflict when your children share a room, but there are things you can do to reduce it.
How to Keep the Peace When Your KIDS SHARE A ROOM BY JAIMIE SEATON Jaimie Seaton has been a journalist for more than 20 years, and is the former Thailand correspondent for Newsweek. Her work on divorce, parenting, dating, and a wide range of topics has been featured in the Washington Post, the Guardian, Glamour, and numerous other publications. Follow her on Twitter @JaimieSeaton.
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hen your kids share a room, there’s bound to be conflict. So follow these 10 easy tips to reduce the sibling conflict and rivalry and keep the peace. We can’t all live in spacious houses. Families often have to get creative with how they use their space—and siblings might have to share a room. Laura Markham, Ph.D., founder of Aha! Parenting and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, advises parents start by explaining the situation. Tell your children: “We do need you to share a room with your brother/sister. I realize that’s asking a lot of you, and I want you to always feel like you can come and talk to me if you get upset by anything. And we’ll put on our thinking caps and find a way to solve whatever the problem is.”
10 TIPS TO REDUCE CONFLICT WHEN SIBLINGS SHARE A ROOM
There are bound to be ups and downs, so Dr. Markham offers these tips for reducing sibling conflict in a tight space. Expect bumps and don’t give up. There will be a transitional time when you first put your kids together, so expect difficult nights and have a back-up plan. If your baby is used to sleeping with you, first move her to a crib in your room. When she moves to the elder sibling’s room, and if she cries
Have your children put on their thinking caps to
excessively, move her to the living room for the night so the elder child can sleep. Put sleep first. If you’re moving a baby into an older sibling’s room, make sure the baby can sleep through the night so he’s not waking the older child. Consider using a white noise machine to help both children sleep. Start during vacation. If you are transitioning baby or simply putting two siblings together for the first time, try to make the change over a long weekend or vacation when everyone can sleep in and there is less pressure. Let young children share a bed. When your youngest child is old enough to sleep safely with a sibling, push two twin mattresses together on the floor. This can be a great way to foster closeness, and when the children get older and want their own bed, you can pull the beds apart. Secure their treasures. We want to teach our kids to share, but they should also have a place where their prized possessions (such as a model they built or a favorite book) are just theirs. Have a locked cabinet where each child can store their treasures. This is especially important when one of the siblings is a toddler or young child who may not understand boundaries. Designate the bedroom a quiet space. Sometimes one child needs more downtime than the other. Defining the bedroom
24 February / March 2021 • siparent.com
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