www.CampLejeuneParent.com
WINTER 2010 | FREE
HOLIDAY GIFTS THAT KIDS CAN CREATE
Gunny Claus
Traditions spice up holidays
SHOPPING GUIDE Stretch your toy dollars
www.onslow.org The life of a mother. You know what it’s like. So join our blogs at MomTalk. Share your highs, your lows, your triumphs and your eye-rolls. It’s a place where all moms can learn from each other — for our children, and for ourselves.
2 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT
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IN THIS
ISSUE WINTER 2010
16
BUYING GIFTS
29
PLASTIC POINTERS
33
Use credit wisely this holiday season
RUDOLF’S
Rare red nose
5 KEEP KIDS’ NEEDS IN MIND WHILE HOLIDAY SHOPPING
32 SIX FUN PLACES TO TAKE THE FAMILY
6 TIRED?
34 SPICING UP THE HOLIDAYS
You bet, but loving every minute
Gunny Claus stands his post
8 DISCIPLINE
The great discipline divide
11 HOLIDAY GIFTS
That kids can create
12 7 TIPS FOR CHANGING BAD BEHAVIORS 15 HIDING GIFTS?
It is time to get creative
17 GIFTS IDEAS 20 HOLIDAY GIFT LIST
What kids really want for Christmas
21 HOT TEEN TOYS 23 THE CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE 24 COMBAT DEPLOYMENT FATIGUE 26 THE GIFT OF GIVING
Children make great volunteers
28 STRETCH YOUR DOLLARS 31 DECK YOUR HOME
Safety tips for decorating with lights
4 WINTER 2010
| MILITARY PARENT
Miya, 1, is the proud daughter of Staff Sgt. Larry Lintz and his wife Cindy. Photo by Ena Sellers. Want your child on the front cover of Military Parent magazine? Visit CampLejeuneParent.com to submit a photo of your child. Ages are 6 months to 14 years old. All participants must be available locally for a photograph. Selected candidate will be contacted by our staff.
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Keep kids’ needs in mind while
In a perfect world, holiday shopping would take place free from crowds, with low prices on all the items, and with no crabby children in tow. However, reality often means that time-pressed parents have to brave the crowds to get their presents purchased — and often with children along for the ride. Holiday shopping can be stressful enough when an adult does it alone. With children factored into the mix, it can turn into an adventure. Unable to dart from store to store and squeeze through milling shoppers, parents must pilot the stroller and battle through. Others must attempt to keep an eye on a youngster flitting through a sea of much-taller people. Without having a breakdown or throwing in the towel and skipping shopping all together, what can parents do when they have to shop with children? Be patient and follow these tips: One of the key things to remember is that children — especially toddlers — have short windows of time of good
behavior. A boisterous toddler or school-aged child may become anxious when faced with crowds and long hours strapped into a seat. Plan for short bursts of shopping. Rushing out to shop with a tired or hungry child is another way for parents to set themselves up for disaster. Hunger and sleepiness can turn an amenable child into one prone to tantrums rather quickly. Parents should time shopping for after naps and meals to eliminate these factors. With the many toys, trinkets and other items on display for sale at stores, children may beg and plead for certain things, making shopping more challenging. Try to avoid the stores that can be big temptations to times when shopping can be done sans kids. When possible, talk to older children during the shopping experience. Mention how much things cost and how they are being paid for. Kids can learn valuable life lessons by mimicking their parents. Allow children to
help with some decision-making processes. Being involved can make the shopping trip more tolerable they’ll feel proud if they’re involved in the process. While shopping with kids can sometimes be a headache, minor irritations can turn into tragedy quickly if parents do not keep safety in mind. It is very easy to lose track of children in bustling stores. Unfortunately, child predators also can be lurking during the holiday season because they know it’s easier to kidnap a child or take advantage when parents are distracted and there are large crowds. Kiddie harnesses are effective means to keeping young children close by. Most harnesses are equipped with a plush toy backpack and a plush lead with handle. This gives the children some freedom to walk without having to hold Mommy or Daddy’s hand, but not enough slack to run off into the crowd. Children who will be riding in shopping carts should be monitored closely and strapped
in. Parents should not leave the shopping cart to go browse for gifts. It only takes a minute for a fall to occur or for someone else to wander off with the child. It’s a good idea for parents to take a picture of their children before starting the shopping trip so that they’ll know exactly what they are wearing and be able to report it to the authorities should the youngsters wander off. Remember to take a picture of the children’s shoes, as well. Child abductors often change the clothing of a kidnapped child but do not know the size of footwear and leave those shoes in place. Identification may be made by what shoes the kid is wearing. To learn more about keeping children safe, visit the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children website missingkids.com. Holiday shopping with children may not be the ideal situation, but innovative and safety-conscious parents can make the best of it this time of year. WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT 5
But loving every minute
S
imple math tells us that two kids should be about twice as hard to raise as one. After all, you’ve simply doubled the mouths you have feed, diapers you have to change and birthday parties you have to host. But bringing up two children is not just twice as hard, it’s actually more like 348,452 times as hard – to the 10th power. Suddenly, mom and dad have to shift to a zone defense or, at best, a parent-to-child instead of the much more effective double-team action that keeps the only child on the defensive. When there are two parents and just one child in the house, one of the adults can always nap, read or catch up on “Weeds” while the other parent runs interference. Even if that child is awake, screaming bloody murder and turning your off-white dining room walls into what looks like caveman drawings, it can all be handled by the other parent. The first parent can put on headphones, sip a glass of wine and pretend like they are a wild and crazy child-free person for at least a few minutes. That’s over once a sec-
ond child enters the fray – unless there is a babysitter involved. Even then, parents of two or more children are often too tired to enjoy a night on the town anyway. They might as well still hire a babysitter, but stay home and take a nap while the babysitter entertains the kids. There’s no expensive dinner and drinks involved and the parents can catch on their sleep. In the end, it’s good on the wallet and for a parent’s health and sanity. Of course, I know all this because my wife and I have two kids. Both of our boys are wonderful, intelligent and charming, but there are times when we want to send both of them to military school – even though they are only 5 years and 19 months old. They drain energy out of us faster than 100 jumping jacks at high noon on a 100-degree summer day. Despite them being so young and unworldly, Aidan and Kyle can mentally and emotionally beat their parents into submission even though both of us have graduate degrees and have traveled the globe. My wife and I are often so tired that we can barely utter a grunt before collapsing somewhere in the house – hopefully on a soft
6 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT
piece of furniture – once the kids are in bed. We hold out hope that one day we will be as full of energy as we were in our pre-child days, but the reality is that won’t likely happen until our boys have kids of their own. Then the circle will be complete and our parenting shackles will be transferred. But does any of this mean I would rather have one child instead of the two we are saddled with now? Of course not. In fact, I’m not really sure I knew what it was really like to be parent until Kyle came along. It’s not that raising his older brother was a walk in the park. It’s more that both my wife and I knew that one of could disappear for days at a time – not that we did - and the other one would be fine when there was just Aidan in the house. Now if one of us is gone for too long the other is borderline cuckoo in just a few hours. Still, I’m not going to give Kyle back. He’s not only wonderful, but he’s also helped me to remember how amazing Aidan was when he was that age. Lost in Aidan’s turning 5 in June have been all the great memories I had of him when he was as young as his
STORY BY JIM VAN SLYKE brother. Aidan’s first steps were a fading memory until Kyle decided to start walking. Aidan’s remarkable ability to learn words got lost in the corners of my mind until his brother started to do the same thing. I even forgot how fun Aidan was at that age until Kyle came along and reminded me that kids are even more incredible once they start walking and talking. It’s a lot more challenging to play with Kyle because Aidan always wants to get involved. “Shapes” – putting triangles, circles and squares through their corresponding holes – is a bit more complicated when a know-it-all 5-year-old gets involved, but somehow we make it work. Kyle doesn’t seem to mind, anyway; he idolizes his older brother. Even though I loved Aidan a lot before Kyle showed up, my heart has grown 348,452 times – to the 10th power –since I’ve gotten to see him as an older brother. He was a remarkable only child, but now it’s hard to picture him except as an older brother. He’s wonderful with Kyle, except for when he steals a toy, body checks his brother into a wall or chases Kyle around the house until Kyle inevitably trips and
falls flat on his face. But I’m an older brother and I know that comes with the territory. In his own weird, subconscious way Aidan is preparing Kyle for the outside world. It’s tough out there, after all. Kyle already has more bumps and bruises in his 19 months on the planet than Aidan had in five years. But, again, that comes with being the younger brother. That will toughen Kyle up. Of course, it also means that Aidan is a lot more familiar with his time-out spot than he was 19 months ago. That will prepare Aidan for the outside world. How many kids you have is obviously up to you. But I can’t picture my family without two boys driving me and my wife crazy. That lunacy is part of what makes me feel like I’m earning my “Dad” title and it’s the thing in this life that drives me to be the best person I can be. Our little foursome is challenging, frustrating and exhausting. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Source: Tidewater Parent, published by Targeted Publications & Media, a division of the Virginian Pilot Media Companies.
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From early toddlerhood to the late teenage years, disagreements over how to discipline a child are very normal, especially with first children, parenting experts and pediatricians say. The potential hot spots are almost endless: potty training and bedtime, time-outs versus spanking, homework and chores, cursing and backtalk, curfew and driving, drinking and sex. The challenge for parents is to present a united front and clear boundaries whenever possible, even if they come in with very different ideas on discipline. That takes planning, respect, compromise and the ability to pick battles based on an understanding of what each parent feels strongly about. “It’s very important to remain supportive of one another as we raise children,” said Dr. Saira Ahsan who is a pediatrician. “We have partners in this process because it takes the thinking, energy and commitment of both parents to raise well-mannered and wellrounded children.” Opinions on how to discipline children often stem from each parent’s own experiences as a child, said Sharon Silverberg, a licensed professional counselor and licensed marriage and family therapist. “Most people who have kids together didn’t know each other growing up, so they may not have a good perspective on how the other was raised and where they are coming from,” Silverberg said. “You need to have conversations to open that door. You can’t start doing that too early - as soon as a pregnancy happens, or maybe even sooner.” To avoid surprises, parents can identify specific behaviors important to each, whether it’s getting good grades, eating healthy foods, limiting screen time or something else. They also can agree on absolutely non-negotiable issues and values, which usually include safety, education, respect and honesty. Give-and-take is crucial, even though that can be difficult depending on the personality of each parent, said Amy Behm. “Parents must be able to compromise with each other and recognize that what each parent has to say is important,” she said. “It is important to focus attention on the problem, not the participants.” In many families, one parent tends to be more lenient than the other. That’s not a problem unless the two refuse to compromise, agree to a consequence but don’t enforce it when one parent isn’t around or, perhaps worst of all, fall into the roles of “good” and “bad” cop, Silverberg said. “You don’t ever want the kids to think there’s a division - that they can go to Dad on this one or Mom on that one to get what they want,” she said. One parent also shouldn’t have to shoulder an unfair share of the discipline, she added. Even if one person is around the child
8 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT
more - and therefore in a position to punish more often - the other needs to support those decisions and step in when he or she is home. If one parent has already imposed a punishment that the other thinks is too harsh, they could still decide to change it. However, the best person to break the news is the person who first set the punishment, Ahsan said. “This is a technique that will allow both parents to be supportive of one another and will not appear as if one parent is overriding the other,” Ahsan said. Applying the rules consistently is the next hurdle - although that doesn’t mean throwing flexibility out the door. “Obviously with any set of rules, there may be times when there is an exception or they may need to be revised,” Behm said.
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One common problem with consistency is parents breaking their own rules because they feel guilty about some dynamic in the family, said Jaynelle Oehler. A working parent, for example, might feel terrible about getting home late and missing time with the kids, and then compensate by not enforcing a regular bedtime. “This causes problems later for both the parent and child, when the parent decides to put the child to bed earlier - at his regular bedtime,” Oehler said. “Inconsistency is very confusing for young children.” In general, experts agree that discussions about discipline should occur away from at least younger children, who are good at picking up even subtle clues that their parents aren’t on the same page. While listening to kids is always important, discussing or debating punishments in front of them can lead to big trouble if they see openings to argue and negotiate, Silverberg said. “If there’s room for wiggle room, then there’s room for manipulation or playing one parent off the other,” she said. “I’m a big fan of no wiggle room - of setting very clear boundaries. Children don’t have to know all the work that goes into parenting. They don’t need to be involved in the process. To me, most conversations about parenting should be considered adult conversations.” However, older children may benefit from watching parents have a healthy debate or discussion while still showing respect to each other, Ahsan said. That means no name-calling, bullying, screaming, cold shoulders or other bad behavior. Whether in or out of earshot of the kids, “I” statements tend to be more effective than more accusing “you” ones, she said. For example: “I feel so nervous when the kids play on the stairs. I’m afraid they will get hurt, so can we work together to explain that to them?” instead of “Why do you always let the kids get away with playing on the stairs? Why don’t you ever do anything to control them?”
Although some parents like to let kids have a voice in their punishment - “What do you think should happen to you?” - Silverberg cautions against giving a child too large a role. “Obviously it depends on the child, the age and the situation, but in general I’d say if you ever give a child a choice, make it between two consequences,” she said. “Don’t leave it open-ended for them to decide.” Children actually like strong leadership from their parents, she said: “Kids need to feel safe, especially when they’re little. Subconsciously, they know that their parents are making good decisions for them. They know what the consequences are for certain behaviors. It is a real feeling of security for them.” But what if parents simply can’t agree? Experts suggest doing research together to learn pros and cons and, if wanted, seeking outside opinions from grandparents, teachers, pediatricians, family counselors or other trusted sources. Just don’t let a problem fester for too long. “Standing discord about issues will cause confusion with children,” Ahsan said. “A child could easily be put in a position of picking sides, and that’s not healthy.” Agreeing on discipline also can get much trickier if parents are divorced or separated, Oehler said. “The child gets caught in the middle and often does not understand the issues and reasons for the conflict,” she said. “Divorced parents need to strive very hard to communicate with each other for the sake and well being of their children.” Finally, parents shouldn’t punish themselves too harshly for their inevitable missteps. “Even the best parents are not perfect and that mistakes are a natural part of parenting,” Behm said. “If you can remember to communicate and compromise and be fairly consistent, you will be practicing good parenting.” Source: Tidewater Parent Magazine
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hand-painted pencil holder made from a soup can will keep its place of honor on a busy executive’s desk for decades. A sewing box made from a shoebox and covered in decoupage will get a smile every time it is used over a lifetime. Handmade gifts from children are creative, inexpensive and show them that giving can be fun. While decorated tin cans, shoeboxes and oatmeal containers have been the beginnings of countless homemade gifts over the years, arts and crafts gifts are only limited by your child’s imagination. Kits or gift baskets are fun to make and receive, and the possibilities are endless. One favorite is a coupon or gift certificate, usually redeemable for a service to be performed by the child. It can be as simple as “Good for two hours of weeding” or “Good for one car wash” for a parent or other family member. For a sibling, a coupon that reads “I’ll do your chores for one full day” is sure to be appreciated. And, of course, there’s no better gift than “Free hugs all day long.” Encouraging children to consider recipients’ interests when creating per-
sonalized coupons not only makes for welcome gifts, but can be a great lesson in caring and compassion. Giving homemade gift certificates can also be a great opportunity for your child to explore their interests and interact with adults in new settings. For instance, an offer to serve as a parent’s or grandparent’s “Personal assistant for a day” can create opportunities for family members to share quality one-on-one time. Once your children have produced a treasure trove of future family heirlooms, they can put the final touches on their gifts by creating handcrafted wrapping paper, gift bags and gift tags. Start with a roll of white butcher paper and paper bags. Break out the paints, colored paper, beads, etc. and let the creativity flow. Last year’s holiday and greeting cards are perfect for cutting into gift tags and can also be used to create holiday collages on gift bags. The bottom line on homemade gifts? By encouraging kids to give of themselves through creative and thoughtful holiday gifts for others, they will not only learn the joys of giving, but have a blast in the process.
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One thing at a time
Research has proven that working on correcting one bad behavior at a time has higher chances on yielding good results. If you try to correct several behaviors all at once the child will just feel alienated and you will most likely get disappointed and overwhelmed. Start with the biggest problems first, things such as aggression and unsafe behaviors, once you got those nailed down move on to the next set in your list and work your way through.
Be specific
Be specific of the behaviors you want to change and explain to your child what that change is going to be. Make sure to explain the consequences if the behavior doesn’t change and follow through. If your child gets angry do not allow yourself to argue. Keep it short and simple do not turn it into a sermon.
Have a goal
Tell your child what your goal is and have him/her involved in coming up with a solution so it doesn’t happen again. Stay calm, remember that your child may not always agree and possibly will make a big fuss of it. Stick to your guns and remember that over time this will change how he or she perceives authority.
Manage the opportunity
This is one of the easiest ways to change behavior. If your child cries for a toy every time you go to the store, remove the child from the store and next time don’t bring him or her. Be consisted, until your child demonstrates that he or she can behave.
Avoid appealing to their empathy
At this age kids are very self centered and to change their behavior you have a better chance by showing them how they may benefit from stopping a specific behavior.
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Be aware of your reactions and responses
“I’ve found that if you don’t really take the time to think your response through, you often wind up simply reacting to the things your children do—and not responding effectively. There’s a big difference between the words “react” and “respond,” according to an article about empowering parents by James Lehman. “When you react, it’s almost like a reflex—your buttons are pushed, and you go into your routine. But if you’re responding, you’re being more objective. You’re still going to hold your child accountable, but you have more time to consider the consequence you’ll give him and what you want him to learn from it.”
12 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT
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or a little girl, there is no more magical gift to receive during the holidays then a beautiful new doll. Despite all the high tech toys, classic doll play has stood the test of time giving children today the same wonderful imaginative play experiences as they did centuries ago. Dolls are important to children at each stage of development, providing comfort, security and “an available friend.” Here are some helpful tips from the experts at Corolle (corolle.com) on how to pick the right play doll for the right age. The size of the doll should be proportionate to a child’s size and strength. When she cradles the doll in her forearm, she should be able to hold the doll’s bottom in her hand, and its head should nestle in the crook of her elbow -- exactly the way a baby would be held by an adult. The weight of the doll should also be proportionate to that of the child, which makes the doll easy to manage. Here are some other tips specific to your
child’s level of development: 0 +: As a baby begins to investigate her new world of shapes and textures and develops essential skills, she needs a snuggly security companion. Select a plush and washable doll that is lightweight and between 10 and 12 inches tall; perfectly sized for tiny hands to hold and hug. 18 months+: As baby transitions to the toddler years, she begins to care for and nurture her doll, imitating her parents. Select a doll that will make an ideal playmate. Look for a doll that is about 12 inches tall and is soft, lightweight, and easy to dress and undress. 3 years +: Little girls at this age begin to act out many reallife situations with their dolls. They may become big sister, mother or babysitter. Baby dolls encourage creativity and inspire pretend play memories young girls will cherish forever. For the added fun of hair play, choose a doll with well-rooted hair that can be combed. 5 years +: Girls begin to project themselves into their world and start to develop and value friendships. In turn, they are looking for playmates. Select dolls that have a variety of wardrobe, hair design and accessory choices. With so many made for every age and every stage, finding the perfect doll has never been easier!
WINTER 2010| MILITARY PARENT 13
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Hiding Gifts?
It’s time to get creative
K
ids, and even some adults, are never more curious than they are during the holiday season. Many kids will search the house far and wide in an effort to learn what presents await them come the big day. For parents pres new to the game of hiding gifts from relentless, present-hunting youngsters, the following hiding pres spots could ensure the surprise is still intact when spot kids wake up and rush downstairs to open their gifts. gift * Place gifts in brown bags from the supermarket and hide them in the back of the closet or ma under the bed. un * Hide gifts in the attic or basement and cover them with blankets so inquiring minds won’t see th them. th * Stash gifts in suitcases. Kids will likely walk right past the luggage. ri * Place gifts on a high shelf in the back of your storage closet, out of eyesight and cony cealed by clothes so kids aren’t encouraged to c climb and go searching while no one is around. c * Store gift under the kitchen sink or in the laundry room. l * Place small gifts inside old purses, bags or briefcases. The purse, bag or briefcase can then be hung in a closet or guest bedroom that is not used every day. * Stash presents in the china cabinets. Kids most likely aren’t allowed in there anyway so they’ll never find their gifts. * If all else fails, store your gifts at work or stash them at a neighbor’s home.
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hoosing holiday gifts for kids can be challenging. With so many types of toys on the market for kids of every age and stage, it’s often hard to know where to begin looking, much less which ones to consider. But, by sticking to a few simple rules of thumb, your holiday gifts will bring smiles to the faces of both kids and their parents. Safety first According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, more than 140,000 children were treated in emergency rooms for toy-related injuries in 2008. Many were the result of kids playing with toys intended for older children. Before purchasing a toy, particularly for a child under age six, check the label on the package to make sure it is age-appropriate. Entertaining vs. educating It’s important to remember that children don’t make hard distinctions between fun and learning. For kids and adults, learning is fun when it offers op-
portunities for exploration, discovery and mastery, so look for toys and games that can be used in multiple ways and different types of play. Go for a good family fit When buying gifts for children, make an effort to choose products that reflect their family values. For example, some parents do not want their children to own toy guns or play violent video games. While art supplies and craft projects are good bets for most kids and families, make sure that paints, markers, glue and other craft items are both non-toxic and washable. Triple play Consider products that will be fun for the whole family. Many games offer different sets of rules for players of varying ages. Others are simple enough for younger kids, yet challenging enough to be enjoyed by parents and older siblings. For more information about toy safety and age-appropriate shopping tips, visit the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s website, www.cpsc.gov.
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he Christmas countdown has begun, and the days will no doubt fly off the calendar like they do every year. Before you know, it’s only a few days until the holiday is here. Those who haven’t yet started shopping may feel pressed for time and worry that they will not be able to find gifts for everyone on their lists -- at least gifts that don’t look like they were afterthoughts. But good gifts can be found in the eleventh hour.
When you’re pressed for time ADULTS
• Visit the local liquor store for a bottle of wine in the price range desired. Wrap it in a wine bag or leave it as is with a nice bow. • Pick up passes to a local attraction, such as an amusement park or a museum. Put together tickets for a play paired with a soundtrack of the production. • Food is often appreciated. A box of fine chocolates or one of those edible fruit arrangements will be a tasteful and tasty gift. • Fill a large bowl with a scooper, sprinkles, cherries and other toppings for making ice cream sundaes. • Pick a gift that embraces the holiday spirit. Holiday music, ornaments or table decorations can be used this year or next.
TEENAGERS
• Teenagers can be finicky, so a monetary gift will be one-size-fits-all. • Teenage girls may appreciate a gift basket of delicious scented lotions. • Passes for movies can make date night less expensive. • Consider a gift card or e-gift coupon for digital music downloads. • Give a subscription to a teen magazine so that everyone can keep abreast of their favorite celebrities.
CHILDREN
• Pop into a toy store or a department store and pick up a cuddly stuffed animal. • Buy an art set for older children, full of paints and markers. If a complete set can’t be found, make an art package with a bunch of supplies packed into a gift bag. • Choose an educational gift that is still fun, like alphabet flash cards or puzzles. A subscription to a children’s magazine would also work, seeing as children love getting mail. • Few kids will turn down a DVD of their favorite television characters. The DVDs should feature an age-appropriateness rating to make choosing one even easier.
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What kids REALLY want for Christmas Every child wants the popular toys for Christmas. Each year parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles head to the stores in search of those sold-out items and must-have gifts. So what gifts are bound to be snatched from toy store shelves this season? Here are a few that kids are bound to be requesting. Moon Dough Moon Sand is a popular molding product that doesn’t dry out. The trouble is, it tends to be messy. Moon Dough is a less sticky version that’s easier on clean-up. Ages 2 to 6. Tickle Me Elmo That loveable Elmo is back in an ‘extreme’ version. He laughs, tells jokes and rolls to the ground in fits of laughter. Elmo can even get back up to a standing position. Ages 3 to 7. “Twilight” Action Figures: Based on the popular “Twilight” saga, these action figures are bound to be the next collectibles for kids who love Bella, Jacob and Edward. Girls and boys can continue to play out the popular tale of vampires and werewolves at home. Ages 10 to 13. Furby Furby is back, probably as a result of the popularity of last year’s Zhu Zhu pets. This incarnation of Furby can react with true emotions thanks to new technology. Ages 3 and up. Star Wars Force Jedi Trainer This toy uses brain wave technology and measures how kids concentrate. Players follow the directions to make their way toward Jedi master. Ages 5 and up.
Furry Frenzies Also banking on the popularity of Zhu Zhu pets is Hasbro’s version of electronic pets. These creatures can interact with one another and scurry around playsets, which are sold separately. Ages 3 and up. Dance Star Mickey In Elmo-like fashion, this doll dances, talks and moves. Kids who are enamored with all things Disney certainly will be requesting their favorite mouse. Ages 3 and up. Extreme Micro RC Helicopter This infrared helicopter is the smallest on the market and can dart and fly around inside or outdoors. Ages 5 to 10.
Rock Band: “The Beatles” Those who love previous incarnations of Rock Band and playing along to favorite songs will enjoy “The Beatles” version. It’s bound to be Beatlemania all over again! Ages 7 and up. Other toys and gaming systems are bound to be favorites again this year. Expect kids to be collecting and trading more Silly Bandz in many different shape themes. Nintendo Wii needs no introduction. With scores of game offerings, this gaming system is still tops on holiday gift lists. Expect to see different high-tech educational items for children, including digital book readers and coloring sets geared toward helping kids learn writing and reading skills.
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As Christmas nears and many hurry to get a gift for everyone on their Christmas lists, tweens and teenagers are often the most difficult group to buy gifts for. Knowing that, what are the best presents to get for your favorite tween or teen this year? Here are a couple good ideas: Playstation Move or Xbox Kinect Both Sony and Microsoft took note from Nintendo’s Wii and have come out with their own, more advanced versions of it. Like the Wii, the Move and Kinect both encourage players to be active and provide plenty of games everyone can enjoy. The Kinect, in particular, is unique in that your body is the controller, not a plastic contraption with buttons. Paper Jamz These are guitars and drum sets that are made out of cardboard and plastic. They have a great sound and
everyone is sure to love them. They are reasonably priced and come in 12 different styles. iPhone or Droid Teens love the latest technology and cell phones. There’s no better combination of the two than the new generation of smart phones. Not only are these phones a great form of entertainment and a gift teens will be sure to love, but now they have no excuse for not checking in. Digital or Flip camera Cameras are a great way to allow teens to start building memories. With the new flip cameras, anyone can make a video at anytime. What could be better for a spontaneous teen? Gift cards If all else fails, no one has ever been upset to receive cash or gift cards. Article written by Russell Varner.
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The Th he
STORY BY HILLARY BRATTON ear after year people tend to gravitate toward the same kinds of gift for their significant other and their parents. But, it’s time to think outside the box and get creative with your gift-giving this Christmas. Give the gift that shows how much you really appreciate everything they do.
Y FOR HIM
Instead of getting your husband socks or some ridiculous gadget, consider something different. Something he can’t throw in the bottom of a drawer or toss in his toolbox. Something that can’t be lost in the abyss of an attic or garage for years to come. Something he will never forget. Give the gift of an experience. The hot new trend for gift-giving this year is the ‘experience’ gift. Has your husband always dreamt of the adrenaline rush that comes with roaring down a racetrack in a super-charged sports car? Well, this is your chance to make his dreams come true and to give him a gift he will treasure for a lifetime. If your husband isn’t into cars, there are plenty of other avenues to go down. If he’s more of an outdoorsman, give the gift of rock climbing or cave spelunking. Just think of what your husband enjoys doing and find an adventure to match. The options are endless.
FOR HER
Women love nothing more than being treated like a princess. So give her
the royal treatment she deserves this year. Get your honey a gift certificate to a local spa where she can spend her time unwinding with candlelit massage therapy, relaxing saunas, manicures and pedicures. A personalized gift tells your wife that you put extra effort into the gift-hunting process. There are many personalized gifts to choose from including jewelry boxes, bracelets and picture frames. These gifts are sure to be treasured for a lifetime. Jewelry is also a sure-fire way to make her feel like a queen. Let your leading lady know she deserves only the best and you will have the merriest of Christmases.
FOR THE GRANDPARENTS
Grandparents usually treasure family heritage and memories above any material item. If they have loose photographs of relatives, ask to borrow them. You can scan them to make digital copies for your own archives and then put together a photo album with the originals for your parents. Not only will this fill them with joy, but it will become a family heirloom that generations to come can enjoy. If your parents are a bit more techsavvy, you could give them a digital pictureframe. Load these up with photos of the family and they will be more than pleased and filled with joy during the holiday season. WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT 23
I’m tired How to combat deployment fatigue SPECIAL TO THE GLOBE
I heard from a friend who is on the tail end of her husband’s deployment that she’s feeling overwhelmed and outnumbered by her kids. She’s about had it and the homecoming date just got pushed to the right. A former neighbor recently said that she’s tired of being a married single parent. Her husband isn’t deployed; he’s in training long hours. Another friend’s husband just left and back-to-school, sports, music lessons and the full moon all seem to be conspiring against her. My husband isn’t deployed but he’s been on back-to-back trips for months with only a couple layovers at home in between. Whether their service members are overseas for half a year, busy with workups or just working more than they’re home, mili-
tary spouses are taking care of the home front and it’s tiring. I wouldn’t be so tired if I could replicate myself into three taxi drivers. My children all have either soccer practice, a game or dance class on the same days at dinnertime in very different places. It’s certainly a challenge to get them all where they need to be and manage to feed them too. Meanwhile, the minivan’s maintenance light is flashing, there was an unexpected bill in the mail, my son’s got a welcome back to school virus, and the dog threw up the moment my husband wanted to chat on Skype. I’m about over it! The colorful “Cycles of Deployment” slide reassures me that the “I’m tired and I’m tired of it” phase is perfectly normal.
Want your child on the cover?
That’s validating and reassuring of course, but what to do about it? Some productive, positive potentials: Chat with some other military spouses. They get it without the back story and you won’t hear the annoying “I don’t know how you do it” comments. Find empathy at the command’s family readiness group, in your base housing neighborhood, at a FOCUS workshop or even online with a Military One Source chat or discussion board. Ask for help. It’s such a nice surprise when someone offers like today when another mom
offered to give one of my kids a ride home from practice while I dropped another off at dance but most people aren’t mind readers. Help isn’t a bad four-letter word. Say it, take it and then help someone else. Carve out some “me” time. Get up earlier than the kids or put them to bed earlier than usual. Join a gym with childcare. Whatever works for you. Just get over the guilt. It is hard being a married single parent on duty with these little darlings without a break. Taking care of our own needs for a few minutes a day helps us keep those home fires burning bright.
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The gift of giving D
uring a season when it seems more emphasis is placed on receiving gifts than doing much giving, children can learn the benefits of doing work that benefits others. Volunteering or other philanthropic endeavors can teach important life lessons and help kids feel good about themselves in the process. According to radio host Shmuley Boteach, “When we don’t give kids responsibilities, we pay the price. Kids can become lazy and complacent and too self-focused. Volunteering and giving back prevents that and helps others.� There are many ways children can get involved, whether working alongside their parents or doing activities all on their own. Here are some age-appropriate volunteer ideas. 5 TO 8 YEAR OLDS Children of this age tend to like doing things with their hands. Activities that foster this enjoyment are beneficial to all. Ideas for kids to consider include working at a soup kitchen or helping parents deliver food to needy individuals. They can also be an asset at a senior center, playing board games with the elderly who may not have grandchildren of their own. 9 TO 13 YEAR OLDS Adolescents can partake in volunteer work that enables them to be a bit more independent. A good idea is for kids to volunteer to do work around the neighborhood like organizing a yard sale or a school play to raise funds for a local charity. Older children can help shop for groceries for house-
26 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT
bound individuals. 14 YEAR OLDS AND UP Teenagers can do activities that fit with their ideals. Maybe they want to help clean up a beach or a park. Others can help renovate an abandoned lot into a skateboard park or kids play area. Kids may want to volunteer at school by being mentors to younger
students. There are so many opportunities. Keep in mind that parents should not force their children to volunteer. It should be a completely voluntary process. Bring up the idea and talk about the benefits of being generous to others. Chances are kids will want to get involved one way or another.
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Stretch y your dollars this
D
espite the economic downturn, there are a number of ways to stretch your holiday dollars this season. Your child may be influenced by the hottest new toys on TV, but don’t be swayed. Invest in quality classic toys. Board games, puzzles, dolls, train sets, and castles have been capturing children’s imaginations for
generations. Your child will still be playing with them long after the holiday season. You can also save by taking a toy inventory with your children. You can explain that before your child gets more toys, he or she needs to sort through what they have. Make piles of what they play with and what they have outgrown. Your child can help to pack up the toys and give them to others to enjoy. Patricia Cutler, a mother of three, recommends having a toy swap party with friends. “Invite your friends over and ask them to bring toys their kids no longer play with,” Cutler says. “You can trade your kid’s toys for theirs, and have ‘new’ toys for your children in time for the holidays.” While taking your inventory,
you may discover your child still loves a favorite toy but it is missing the batteries or a key piece. For a small fee, most manufacturers will send the missing part. Adding accessories to a child’s favorite toy is a wonderful way to stretch your dollars. If the child still plays with their train set, building blocks or doll, additional accessories can create ‘extended play’ for the original toy. Stephanie Oppenheim, an NBC TODAY Show Contributor, notes bringing home a new accessory can spark renewed interest in old favorites and better yet, encourage children to spin new stories and pretend-play scenarios - the underpinnings for developing language and storytelling skills.
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Use credit wisely this holiday season
ith the holiday season upon us, shoppers across the nation are gearing up for another season of swiping their credit cards. And if statistics are any indication, more people could be swiping those credit cards this season than ever before. According to the United States Census Bureau, the number of credit cardholders in the U.S. is growing. In 2000, there were 159 million credit cardholders in the U.S., a figure that had risen to 173 million by 2006 and was expected to grow to 181 million by the end of 2010. With so many cardholders across the country, it’s no wonder during the holiday season so many swipes are seen. While it can be tempting to put it all on plastic when holiday shopping, it can also be dangerous - leading to nearly unmanageable debt that can result in serious consequences down the road. To manage credit wisely this holiday season, consider the following tips.
Avoid shopping sprees
Shopping sprees are common during the holiday season, when parents are tempted to go overboard and get their children more gifts than they can afford. Doing so won’t do the family or the kids any good come January when the bills are due. What’s more, most adults who remember the holidays don’t recall what they received as gifts, but do recall how those holidays were spent with family and friends. So the lasting memory won’t necessarily be what’s under the tree but who was sitting around it.
Avoid juggling credit cards
According to a 2010 survey from the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston, the average credit card holder has 3.5 credit cards. In many cases, cardholders evenly distribute debt over each of their cards as opposed to putting it all on one card. However, this isn’t really a solution as much as it is a way to mask the problem of accruing too much credit card debt during the holidays. Just because debt is piling up in shorter stacks on three cards instead of one large stack on one card doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. If a credit card must be used, use the one with the lowest interest rate at the time of purchase.
Always know the card’s limit
As mentioned above, many people have more than one credit card. But not all cards have the same credit limit, which can be confusing for holders of multiple cards. To avoid going over the limit, which can result in penalties and a negative mark on your credit report, view your most recent statement before using a given card. As a result of the recession, many credit card companies began lowering lines of credit and, in some instances, even closing accounts with poor histories. Check the most recent statement to learn the card limit and to determine the available balance, which is listed on the statement as well.
Determine if the card offers return protection
When a credit card offers “return protection,” that means the card issuer, and not the retailer, will take back items in new condition up until 90 days after the original purchase. This is done to protect buyers when the retailer will no longer accept returns. The original receipt, the item itself and the name and location of the merchant from whom the item was purchased is all that is typically required. In general, the dollar limit for return protection is $300 per item. Those who often need return protection the most are early shoppers who buy gifts for loved ones in advance of the typical holiday shopping season. Many retailers only offer full cash refunds for 30 days, so early shoppers should call their credit card companies to determine their eligibility for return protection. WINTER 2010| MILITARY PARENT 29
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Deck your home in
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o holiday tradition is more exciting than decorative lights. While aesthetically appealing, holiday lighting displays can also be dangerous. Old lights or poorly planned projects can quickly turn tragic. Follow these tips to ensure this year’s lighting display is safe. • Make sure exterior lights are designed for outdoor use. • Plug lights directly into electrical sockets instead of extension cords. Use surge protectors if enough outlets aren’t available. Check the fuse box to see how much each
circuit can handle. • Don’t use damaged lighting sets, including those with frayed strings, exposed wires or broken sockets. • Make sure external lights are securely attached. Wind can damage bulbs. • Inside the home, be extra careful when using an artificial Christmas tree. Electric lights should never be used on a metallic tree. • Routinely check cords. If a cord feels too hot, replace it. • Don’t leave the lights on when no adults are home. • Hanging lights shouldn’t be a solo project.
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STORY BY AMY BINKLEY • PHOTO BY HEATHER MILLER S
S
now may not fall often in Eastern North Carolina, but at the Jingle Bells Christmas Shop in Sneads Ferry, it’s a white Christmas every day. For those of you who secretly wish keeping up your Christmas decorations year-round was socially acceptable, this mom and pop store is the place to go. The shop is adorned with ornaments, stockings and more than one Christmas tree on the floor, and unlike most stores, they carry Christmas items every month of the year. What sets this specialty store apart from big name department stores is the touch of home it gives to each visitor. “It’s a family affair,” said Carolyn
Ball, who runs the shop with her husband and daughter. After visiting more than once, the small staff will probably know your name and be more than willing to help you pick out a gift for yourself or someone else. Hand painted scarves, handmade baskets or jewelry of all shapes, sizes and colors line the shelves. For those looking for some local flavor, the store displays photographs, paintings and drawings all done by coastal North Carolina artists. Of course, they’re biggest items are holiday-themed. “Ornaments, nutcrackers, nativities, we have everything,” said Ball. They even have Santa, who comes
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every year and poses for pictures on an antique sleigh from 1890 during the shop’s open house on Thanksgiving weekend. Jingle Bells just opened a new section called the Toy Store, which features Melissa & Doug educational toys for children. With more than 600 items to choose from, including puppets, dollhouses and train sets, every toy is designed to encourage child development. This year, forego the big department stores and opt for a feel of the familiar. Ball encouraged, “We’re small, but we’re unique.” Jingle Bells Christmas Shop is located at 322 Sneads Ferry Rd., Sneads Ferry, N.C. For more information, call 327-1055.
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Rudolph’s rare red nose While Rudolph might be the most famous reindeer, there remains no documented evidence of a red-nosed reindeer guiding Santa’s sleigh on an especially stormy Christmas Eve. But just because no one has yet to find the real Rudolph, that doesn’t mean we don’t know a few things about Santa’s sled buddies.
Dasher
Females generally weigh between 170 to 260 lbs., while males are often much larger, weighing as little as 200 lbs., and as much as 460 lbs.
Reindeer reside in both the Arctic and Subarctic. Hunting of wild Dancer reindeer and herding of semi-domesticated reindeer is important to several Arctic and Subarctic people. Reindeer fur can vary considerPrancer ably. In northern populations, reindeer tend to have white fur, while southern populations are darker in color.
Vixen
Reindeer are also known as Caribou in North America.
Reindeer size can vary depending on location, as southern reindeer Comet populations tend to be larger than their northern counterparts.
In most reindeer populations, both males and females grow antlers. Cupid Among deer, reindeer have the largest antlers in relation to body size.
D on n er
Males often battle with each other by locking antlers for the right to mate with certain females.
During migration, some reindeer reach speeds of 37 to 50 miles per Blitzen hour.
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Gunny G u n ny C Claus laus st stands t his post
E
STORY BY HEATHER OWENS
very Marine who has earned the eagle, globe and anchor is imbued with knowledge of the rich history of the Marine Corps. However, this holiday season, there is one aspect of the Marine Corps which young Marines and their families may be finding out about for the first time: The legend of Gunny Claus. Turns out the jolly old elf is also a seasoned staff noncommissioned officer. It has been said one of the first sightings of a Marine Corps Santa Claus came in the trenches of World War I. “Gunner Claus” wore a red rain coat and a beard made out of toilet paper. “And, you know, whenever an officer comes up with a good idea, he is going to make sure a staff NCO takes care of it,” said Gunny Claus with a twinkle in his eye. “So there you have Gunny Claus.” Gunny Claus has turned up around Christmastime at all of the wartime theaters in which Marines have fought: from WWI through the present day. In fact, he honors Marines who have fought throughout Christmas by wearing the commemorative medals of each battle in which Marines have served during the holidays. With area Marines deployed all over the world, Gunny Claus has been spotted throughout the Coastal Carolina region; from Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune to Marine Corps Air Stations Cherry Point and New River. Part of the mystery is
34 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT
how the squared-away elf can be in so many different places at once. “There’s a lot of Gunny Clauses,” he said. “Gunny Claus is here to protect Christmas, and it takes more than one to do it. And, occasionally, a helicopter and a little Marine Corps magic helps.” Not surprisingly, Gunny Claus even speaks in tactical terms. “I’m part of the ammunition against the adversity, which our Marines and their families face,” he said. In recent years, Gunny Claus has taken on the special al assignment of bringing the spirit of Christmas to children en and spouses of Marines. In combat, Marines take care of themselves, he said. Plus, plenty of individual Americans and civic groups have been honoring the warriors themselves. But sometimes in this high gh operational tempo atmosphere, ere, the children can be forgotten. n. For that reason, Gunny Claus has made a special effort ort to share the joy of Christmas with service members’ children. He’s been turning up at battalion Christmas parties, delighting children, spouses and Marines alike. Those who have been fortunate enough to encounter Gunny Claus thus far have felt the warm glow of the Christmas spirit which emanates from his very being: from his red, smokey-the-bear cover to his polished, black combat boots. Julianne Barilich said
Gunny Claus was a big hit at the unit’s children’s Christmas party last year. “They related to him very well because he was in uniform,” she said. Gunny Claus spent hours hoisting children onto his lap and listing to their Christmas wishes. Among them were Aeja Barrows and her sister Nia, daughters of Petty Officer 2nd Class Laportia Barrows. “It’s really exciting because this is the first time Aeja has taken a picture with Santa. She was usually scared of him. So this made my year,” said the proud mom, watching her children interact with Gunny Claus. “And And then to see the youngest one go up there was great too.” For his part, Gunny
Claus said strengthening the bonds of military families is a large part of his mission. “In the Marine Corps, Christmas is not about politics or any other thing,” he said. “It’s about remembering and being with family. The Marines hold that dear to their heart, and it shows through.” Just like the list of all the good boys and girls, the list of Gunny Claus’ scheduled events is also quite lengthy. With all the Christmas parties he’s attending, Gunny Claus meets scores upon scores of children. “I see a lot of kids,” he said. “And you know you can tell parents by their children. Of the hundreds of kids II’ve ve seen so far, quality family values show in every one of them.” Marines and their families will have Gunny Claus’ love v and support for years to come. When asked about Christmas C ristmas Ch future, Gunny Claus said he would stand his post until properly relieved.
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Celebrati ng 36 Yea rs of Servin g the U.S. Milita ry
What is the Center for Online Learning? Saint Leo University is a major global provider of education to the military. We offer affordable, exible education with superior academic counseling to active duty military and their dependents. Designed to meet the growing needs of military students with today’s most innovative computer technology. Set your own weekly study schedule anywhere/anytime. Receive the same Online Programs of Study Associate of Arts – Business Administration – Criminal Justice – Liberal Arts Bachelor of Arts – Accounting – Business Administration with specialization in: ™ 6XXdjci^c\ ™ BVcV\ZbZci ™ BVg`Zi^c\ – Criminal Justice with specialization in: ™ 8g^b^cVa^hi^Xh ™ =dbZaVcY HZXjg^in ¡ =jbVc GZhdjgXZ BVcV\ZbZci – Liberal Studies – Psychology Bachelor of Science – Computer Information Systems ¡ =ZVai] 8VgZ BVcV\ZbZci Master’s Degree Programs ¡ B76 l^i] 8dcXZcigVi^dch ¡ BVhiZg d[ HX^ZcXZ ^c 8g^b^cVa ?jhi^XZ ¡ BVhiZg d[ HX^ZcXZ ^c 8g^i^XVa >cX^YZci BVcV\ZbZci ¡ BVhiZg d[ HX^ZcXZ ^c >chigjXi^dcVa 9Zh^\c ¡ BVhiZg d[ HdX^Va Ldg`
Discover Saint Leo’s Advantage: A rich history of quality education since 1889 Designed to ďŹ t your military schedule Ultimate exibility–study anytime, anywhere Online support from faculty who are experienced professionals No campus attendance required
What you need for where you’re going. Founded in 1889 Saint Leo University admits students of any race, color, religion and national or ethnic origin.
GetGetStarted Started Today! Today! s WWW SAINTLEO COM s WWW SAINTLEO COM
Now Offering FREE book Voucher to New Military Students! SPRING 2010 | MILITARY PARENT 35 WINTER 2010 | MILITARY PARENT 35
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