Flirt: September 2022 Issue

ON THE

Kaleigh Lewis photographed by Audrey O'Neill, Photography Director

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Gabrielle Gronewold

DEPUTY EDITOR

Arella Warren

ART DIRECTOR

Annika Ide

ARTS CURATOR

Emma Gray

PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR

Audrey O’Neill

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Sam Starks

FASHION DIRECTOR

Corbin Woessner

FASHION EDITOR

Manon Bushong

LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Mason Braasch

CULTURE EDITOR

Rachel Hale

ARTS EDITOR

Kora Quinn

SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS

Olivia Peters

Josh Mitchell

PR AND OUTREACH DIRECTOR

Emily Fleming

ONLINE EDITOR

Jessica Katz

NEW MEMBERS DIRECTOR Maya Greenberg

PROGRAMMING AND SPECIAL EVENTS COORDINATOR

Madeleine Olson

DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION CO-DIRECTOS

Abbey Perkins

Sonakshi Garr

MAKEUP DIRECTOR

Riley August

VIDEOGRAPHY DIRECTOR

Madelyn Vilker

WEBSITE MANAGER

Kara Conrad

WRITERS

Manon Bushong • Gabrielle Gronewold • Jane Houseal • Jessica Katz • Maya Greenberg

• Kora Quinn • Rachel Hale • Olivia Peters • Mason Braasch • Arella Warren

MODELS

Manon Bushong • Sasha Pico

• Kaden Buck • Kaleigh Lewis

ART

Emma Gray • Nicole Glesinger • Arella Warren

• Riley August • Jessica Tenenbaum • Kate Madigan

PHOTOGRAPHY

Audrey O'Neill • Hunter Kiehl

• Molly Jacobs

MODA IS PRODUCED WITH SUPPORT FROM THE WISCONSIN UNION AND WISCONSIN UNION DIRECTORATE PUBLICATIONS COMMITTEE.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FASHION

CULTURE ARTS

06 Seduction’s Secrets

The untold stories of famed seductresses

10 Dress to Impress (Yourself)

Eliminating the male gaze from our personal styles

20 It’s Date Night

Outfit ideas for your dating extravaganzas

LIFESTYLE

09 Moda’s Guide to Gettin’ Flirty

Dating etiquette to bring romance back into your life

13 A Nice Jewish Girl

Breaking down the stereotypes for Jewish women

22 Hot Girl Bummer

The pressure of summer is ruining the season

FEATURED

23 Summer Lovin’

Romantic reads to take you back to summer

30 Figs, Freak Outs and Flirting With the Future

A response to “The Bell Jar” and its look at overwhelming possibilities

32 Yes– There's Still Sex in the City

What “Sex and the City” taught us about platonic soulmates

14 Morning After Creative editorial photo shoot

24 Heatwave

Fashion editorial photo shoot

As seen on the cover

Dear readers,

On its face, flirting appears frivolous — its fleeting eye contact across the bar, its cheeky banter on the first date, its butterflies and its bold moves. When I reflect on what flirting means in the context of my own life, I reflect on my first crushes in elementary school, my first kiss and the start of my first real love.

Flirting isn’t serious: it’s light and airy. Generally, we don’t find ourselves absorbed or entangled with the concept of flirting — it’s an aspect of our culture that is playful and amusing.

This issue, however, explores the complex dynamics of flirting and the ways in which the art of flirting may have deeper implications both culturally and individually.

For starters, Flirt is hyper-feminine. Femininity can be challenging and brushed off as frivolous in the same way that flirting can. Famous seductresses like Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra have been brushed off as simple-minded sex symbols in response to their flirting capabilities since their time.

The Art of Flirting

These feminine icons are perceived as nothing serious compared to their famous male counterparts, but “Seduction’s Secrets” by Jessica Katz further explores their roles and the true social power their flirting abilities granted them.

As an intersectional feminist publication, Moda aspires to present inclusive experiences and showcase the dynamic nature of femininity.

“Moda’s Guide to Gettin’ Flirty” by Arella Warren is fun, light and witty, inspired by vintage dating troupes and flirting tips of the past. Meanwhile, “A Nice Jewish Girl” by Maya Greenberg is a personal narrative on identity that explores both religion and sexuality. This pair of articles exemplifies the intricate nature of femininity: While it can be playful and humorous, it can also be introspective and personal.

At its core, Flirt also addresses what it means to be a life & style publication today. I know we can all picture the cover of a vintage Cosmopolitan issue: “‘Tis the season to be skinny”; “How to be good at lovemaking”; “What work pressures are doing to women’s love lives.” While these headlines are all in fact real, they thankfully no longer make the cut today. In “Dress to Impress (Yourself),” Manon Bushong redefines the recognizable how-to article but without the male gaze involved. In “It’s Date Night,” Jane Houseal shares her date night outfit inspiration, making sure to guide your solo and friend dates as well.

Flirt ironically comes at a time in my life when I have sworn off dating. I’ve been truly and intentionally single for about a year now, leaving me to question what role flirting plays in my current life. Although I’m not looking for the highs of a honeymoon stage or banter with a new prospect, I feel like the nature of the word “flirt” still

surrounds — in particular around the concept of time.

Flirt is our September Issue and marks the seasonal change of the end of summer and the intro into fall. As I write this on August 31st, I can feel the undeniable, unavoidable reality that things are changing and life is moving. Every year around this time, I find myself in a race against time — flirting with both the past and the present. As college students, I think it goes to say that we continuously find ourselves fighting against the clock. We’re looking forward to the future of our lives while simultaneously holding on to the fleeting present.

This inner conflict of wanting things to speed up but also slow down has led me to discover that beyond the surface frivolities of flirting lies the introspective way we can be playful in both our day-to-day lives, yet also our deep inner ones. In the same way that femininity is dynamic, so are we. As much as I hate the passing of time, I can choose to play with it and let it come and go in a light, airy manner.

This issue is cheeky, it’s feminine, it’s pink and it’s hot — it’s all the flirty things. Yet, it is also thoughtful and personal and intentional. As you explore Flirt, I invite you to explore the role flirting plays in your own life. Maybe that is through dating, or how you dress, or maybe it’s through your self-identity or your view on the world. Whatever role it plays, it is my hope that this issue shines a light on the complexities behind flirting as something much more than a frivolity.

Warmly,

GABRIELLE GRONEWOLD EDITOR IN CHIEF

Seduction's Secrets

THE UNTOLD STORIES OF FAMED SEDUCTRESSES

Written by Jessica Katz, Online Editor Graphic by Nicole Glesinger

Cleopatra,

Catherine the Great, Marilyn Monroe, Hariette Wilson and Agnès Sorel: What do all these women have in common? They stand out as famed seductresses. As leaders, sex symbols and cultural icons, each of these women embody a specific type of alluring power — so powerful that the world is yet to forget.

Throughout the history of patriarchal societies, a consistent tool that a woman had was her sexuality. Using cleverness and creativity, she could lure a man in, then turn the dynamic around to create power for herself. This is known as the art of seduction.

As Robert Greene, author of “The Art of Seduction,” explains, “In seduction, the woman is no longer a passive sex object; she has become an active agent, a figure of power.”1

To execute this power, she could be a siren, the male fantasy of a sexual and confident woman, offering pleasure with a hint of danger.2 Cleopatra was a siren, luring in Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony to protect Egypt. She was a confident woman with evident sex appeal, rumored to have invented the first vibrator: a bee-powered gourd.3

She could be a natural: playful, lighthearted and full of energy. The natural has a girl-next-door quality that makes her easy to adore.4

She could be the ideal lover, appealing to a man’s idealized visions of himself and filling the gap of what is missing from his life. Using devotion and patient attention, she works to make her target feel special. The typical ideal lover is a young woman seducing wealthy older men.5

¹ Greene, Robert. 2004. The Art of Seduction.

N.p.: Gardners Books.

² Ibid.

³ Ibid.

⁴ Ibid.

⁵ Ibid.

She could also be a coquette. She pulls in men with her charm and sex appeal, then pushes them away, leaving them unsatisfied. She’s confident and independent, forcing men to chase after her. Drag queens often pose as coquettes to gain the attention of the room, beaming with undeniable confidence.6

Lastly, she could be a charmer, observing her target and focusing on his needs. She never talks about herself. She only listens, and this attention weaves a magic spell. Her target feels like a star in the presence of her affections and in turn, falls for her.7

There is a discussion of morality when it comes to seduction. Charming one’s way to what they desire, whether that be money, power or anything else, may not be the most appropriate route — especially given today’s standards. Overall, when it comes to female sexuality and the art of seduction, there are lots of labels and criticisms involved.8

In the Bible, Eve was known as the original seductress. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were told they could eat anything they wanted — except the forbidden fruit.9 Eating this fruit would cost the loss of innocence for mankind, and ultimately cause their deaths. Eve had been created for Adam, and as the most beautiful woman on Earth, Adam inevitably fell for her. So when Eve picked the forbidden fruit and ate it, despite all warnings, Adam followed. Their innocence was lost. Many believe this loss and suffering is due to Eve’s seduction, and that Eve represents everything about a woman that men should hide from.10

⁶ Ibid.

⁷ Ibid. ⁸ Ibid.

⁹ Robidoux, Jim. 2019. “Adam and Eve, forbidden fruit and ‘The Fall.’” Manchester Ink Link.

10 Witcombe, Christopher L. 2000. “Eve and the Identity of Women.”

Consciously or unconsciously, the Eve Effect continues to act as a weapon against women to this day, even as we gain access to more means for success. Modern women are consistently sexualized in the same terms as seductresses. Engaging in conversation with a man? They must be into him. Wearing something revealing? They must want sex.

Even as we slowly break away from these assumptions, there is still this evident stereotype of seduction in social conversations that boxes women in. This may be because in historical patriarchal societies, sexuality was the strongest tool a woman had to find success — and it was often perceived as a tool for controlling men.

Hariette Wilson, famous author, began her career at the age of 15 when she became a mistress to an earl. She was publicly shunned in London high society by its leading members, but she privately enjoyed her impressive list of lovers, including the Duke of Wellington, George IV, Lord Canning and Lord Plamerston. Through her love life, Wilson built herself a powerful network of men to whom she could turn to when she needed.11

In fact, in the 1820s, Wilson wrote a memoir and blackmailed her former lovers who wished to remain anonymous. The ultimatum? Pay

11 Ibid.

Wilson or have your name published in her text. If money is power, she used her seduction to gain both.12

As the first official mistress of France from 1444 to 1450, Agnès Sorel commanded power in the court of

The private affairs of these women were anything but private, forcing them to cope with the constant scrutiny placed upon them. They were known as scandalous, so-called bad girls. Critics saw them dangerous and manipulative, controlling the men in their lives.14

Yet these seductresses were influential women unwilling to play by the restrictive rules placed upon them. In times when women had very few tools for success, they were determined and innovative, finding great power in their sexuality.

What these stories of iconic women may be forgetting, however, is that a woman’s sexuality, and the power she derives from it, has always been and will always be only one aspect of her dynamic being. Cleopatra spoke as many as a dozen languages and was educated in topics like mathematics and philosophy — scholars have revealed that her intellect may have been even more powerful than her appearance.15

King Charles VII, earning her many enemies. Sorel’s fashion choices were just as bold as her public affair, always exposing one breast. Charles spoiled Sorel with a variety of gifts including lands, jewels and a private residence. Sorel’s seduction not only benefited herself but also advanced the standing of her family by securing them positions in court.13

¹² Ibid.

¹³ Ibid.

If their toughest critics had the wit to realize the true convincing power their presence had, chances are all famed seductresses’ best asset wouldn’t be considered their appearances at all. Rather they could have been appreciated for being strategic and influential social players, known as feminist icons.

■

¹⁴ Ibid.

¹⁵ Andrews, Evan. 2021. “10 Little-know facts about Cleopatra.” History.

Throughout the history of patriarchal societies, a consistent tool that a woman had was her sexuality. Using cleverness and creativity, she could lure a man in, then turn the dynamic around to create power for herself. This is known as the art of seduction.

Moda’s Guide to Gettin’ Flirty

Flirting can be hard. Are sweaty palms and jitters getting in your way? Moda’s Guide to Gettin’ Flirty is here to help. Follow these tips and in no time you will be the most irresistible mate on the block.

Pucker up Offer them a kiss — If they take you up on the offer, sweet! If they seem taken aback, pull a Hershey’s kiss out of your pocket and smoothly avoid an awkward situation.

Pick ‘em up

Don’t be a zoomer and text when you’re at the door: always ring the doorbell and be sure to get the approval of their dog before taking them out.

Vintage tricks Channel your inner Victorian-era persona and leave your right thumb slightly exposed after pulling on your glove to indicate that you want your crush to kiss you.

All about the eyes Drop your eyes to the floor, then look up and raise the eyebrows to indicate that you’re interested in taking things further.

You’ve got mail Leave a hand-written letter straight from the

heart in their mailbox for a personal touch. Don’t be afraid to get poetic and talk about how their beauty ignites your soul.

Falling for you — literally Stumble when you walk into a room with your crush — chances are they’ll catch you and they’ll be the one falling for you in the future.

Read my lips

Draw attention to your lips and leave your date daydreaming of you: chew gum, apply lipstick in front of them, sip on a milkshake, and never leave home without a bundle of grapes to dramatically bite off the vine.

Pearly whites Smile! This one is widely tested and proven to reap successful results.

Is it the ‘50s?

Show your crush you’re serious by asking them if they want to “go steady” with you.

At the end of the day, Moda recommends just being yourself. Your romantic interest should like you for you. So mess up, be awkward, let your cheeks get rosy and go flirt! ■

DATING ETIQUETTE TO BRING ROMANCE BACK INTO YOUR LIFE Writing and Graphic by Arella Warren, Deputy Editor

Dress to Impress (Yourself)

ELIMINATING THE MALE GAZE FROM OUR PERSONAL STYLES

Written and modeled by Manon Bushong, Fashion Editor Photographed by Molly Jacobs

Imeta cashier the other day who had arguably the coolest hairstyle I had ever seen. Scattered throughout her buzzed and bleached hair were little red hearts. When I complimented her, she was happy to hear a stranger’s praise, and told me that earlier that day, her grandmother’s initial reaction to her new hairdo was “What does your boyfriend think about that?”

Why does it matter if her boyfriend, or any other man for that matter, disapproves of her hair? It made me think of other times I heard friends worry that a fun hair color could frighten away potential romantic partners, which led me to reflect on whether I had ever felt self-conscious about an outfit based on patriarchal fashion standards.

Are men actually bothered by women with blue hair and unorthodox fashion? Or do these fears stem from years of being conditioned to view nearly everything through the male gaze?

The male gaze is a concept coined by Laura Mulvey, originally used in the domain of cinematography, the male gaze analyzes how women in film are frequently viewed and created through the lens of a man.1 Oftentimes, this leads to characters centered around aesthetics rather than the woman’s depth or equal nature. This theory extends beyond cinematography and has unfortunately become a critical way in which many women view themselves. Catering the way we look and act around how we feel men perceive us is mentally damaging, and ¹ Well, Tara, “Taking Back the Male Gaze”, Psy chology Today, November 6, 2017.

can also subconsciously cause us to hold back when deciding what to wear each day.

Many norms in terms of women’s fashion are created to make women look the most appealing in the eyes of men. Form-fitting clothes that accentuate a feminine silhouette are much more popular than “unflattering” oversized or loose shapes. The theory of the male gaze explains why women put so much emphasis on having an hourglass figure because they are conditioned to believe that their body — especially in terms of how a man may perceive it in an aesthetic sense — determines their self-worth. Fashion, whether or not we realize it, has become a tool to further this concept.

In order to truly feel good in one’s skin, the person we should all be dressing for is ourself. Clothes we think look cool and feel comfortable in should come before clothes that flatter our bodies according to societal standards.

Throughout high school and continuing into my early months as a college student, I frequently held back when choosing clothing in an attempt to minimize judgment from my peers. I suppose looking back on it now, there was a considerable part of me that thought if I did rock cool vintage leather pants or a bubblegum pink fur vest, I would repel teenage boys and minimize my chances at getting a prom date. When I did however begin wearing pieces that I truly loved which also represented me, I noticed a rise in my confidence each time I left the house.

You do not need to be a fashion guru to dress for yourself. The key is to not let fear of judgment affect your choices or to spend too much time pondering over how your look will be perceived. If you think an article of clothing is cool, wear it. The confidence will follow.

Drifting from the male gaze when making fashion decisions does not mean you can’t wear flirty or sexy clothing by any means. In fact, adopting a mindset that departs from the male gaze will allow you to feel freer in revealing garments because you won’t stress over whether you look trashy, slutty or unprofessional. These harmful terms have been instilled in us from a young age, and are a result of centuries of scrutiny and patriarchal control over women. Low-cut shirts and tight dresses do not determine a woman’s drive or ability in an academic or professional setting.

There is no one way to dress in a means that defies the male gaze. Start off by questioning what is stopping you from wearing a piece of clothing that you like. Are you worried it is too over the top? Do you feel it does not flatter your body? Feeling comfortable in your clothes is certainly a big aspect of dressing for yourself; however, I urge everyone to ask themselves what is truly causing them to feel uncomfortable in particular garments. Freeing yourself from the male gaze will alleviate stress each morning when it is time to choose a look, and it will help you truly dress for yourself! ■

In order to truly feel good in one’s skin, the person we should all be dressing for is ourself.

we think look cool and feel comfortable in should come before

that

A Nice Jewish Girl

BREAKING DOWN THE STEREOTYPES FOR JEWISH WOMEN

Written by Maya Greenberg, New Members Director Illustrated by Riley August, Makeup Director

Growing up as a girl from a Jewish family in a Fridayfish-fry, Catholic, midwestern town, I’ve heard every Jewish stereotype there is to offer. There’s the Jewish American Princess, the overbearing Jewess who gets left for the blonde-haired Golden Shiksa and, of course, the Nice Jewish Girl.

Though the roots of this stereotype are hard to pin down, it likely came from the idea of sheyne mishpokhe, which is Yiddish for a nice family.1 Although some of the qualities are values that many Jewish families hold, the phrase has taken on a life of its own. Today’s Nice Jewish Girl can be described, by Urban Dictionary, as “a kind, modestly curvy family girl who loves Judaism, her family, and the American Dream of a nice house in the suburbs.”2 In other words, she is the kind of Jewish girl that men find exotic enough without embodying any of the negative stereotypes that would make her unappealing.

Her features aren’t entirely westernized, but they aren’t too bold. She has the curves, but she won’t flaunt them — except for you, in private. She won’t force you to eat gefilte fish, but she’ll still buy you a present for every day of Chanukah. She’s that ever-hard-tofind, attractive, G-d loving woman.

This stereotype implies prudence, obedience and an idealized vision of Jewish women crafted under the gentile male gaze.

¹ Forward. “Was Amy Winehouse a ‘Nice Jewish Girl’?” Philologos, August 22, 2011.

² Ohmygoy. “Nice Jewish Girl.” Urban Dictionary, June 28, 2009.

Despite being kind, modestly curvy and holding Judaism and my family close to my heart, I am also a bisexual Jew who is very comfortable in her own sexuality. My nature is far too ambitious and intense to ever be considered obedient, and any man who is looking for a token modest, straight-laced Jewish woman will likely want to pass me by.

coercing their wives into “marital relations,” and requires an enthusiastic “yes” for consent to be present.

Judaism also promotes constant questioning and learning, and many Jews today use this to understand sexuality as a spectrum. Although at times confusing, the relationship between sex and religion can be vibrant.

Many Jewish girls like myself have been brought up in environments in which we are always growing and exploring. This led me to my personal realization that sexual orientation is a spectrum, and I am not all the way to one end or the other.

One of the most damning things about this stereotype is that it exists largely outside of the Jewish world. Frankly put, the Nice Jewish Girl is an antisemitic trope that holds Jewish women to impossible expectations while simultaneously Christianizing them to match Western ideals. Those who understand women with Jewish roots, however, know that Judaism can actually promote sexuality and confidence rather than hindering it.

Going back to ancient times, Judaism has roots in sex-positivity.3 The Torah, the holy book for Jews, actually spells out a man’s duty to please his wife in bed. It also prohibits men from

³ Alma. “Thanks to the Torah, Jewish Girls Are Better in Bed.” Nylah Burton, June 11, 2018.

Oftentimes, non-Jewish men feel threatened by the actual idea of a Jewish woman. They don’t know our history, they don’t speak one of our languages and our features may not fit in their traditional concept of beauty. The Nice Jewish Girl fits neatly into their box of attainable and desirable, while still existing within their standards. Unfortunately for these individuals, if they think they’re just getting a Nice Jewish Girl, they may end up with far more than they bargained for.

Those who seek out a Nice Jewish Girl fail to celebrate the beautifully dynamic Jewish woman. Look back to the roots of Judaism that allow for today’s Jewesses to embrace their womanhood and sexuality. Appreciate the Jewish woman for who she is, not for who you expect her to be. ■

Morning After

Directed by Sam Starks, Creative Director

Photographed by Audrey O'Neill, Photography Director, and Hunter Kiehl, Staff Photographer

Modeled by Sasha Pico and Kaden Buck Makeup by Riley August, Makeup Director

Videography by Madelyn Vilker, Videography Director

It’s Date Night

OUTFIT IDEAS FOR YOUR DATING EXTRAVAGANZAS

Written by Jane Houseal

Graphic by Emma Gray, Arts Curator

Whetheryou’re going out with your significant other or a new fling, dates are the perfect opportunity to dress up and style your wardrobe in a new and flirty way. After what might have been the worst year for meeting new people, the prospect of going out on dates is more exciting than ever. Take inspiration from your plans and incorporate them into your outfit for the perfect date look.

Picnic in the Park

If you and your partner plan on sharing a charcuterie board or taking a scenic stroll, these outfits are for you. Picnic dates immediately spark cottagecore visions of puff sleeves, milkmaid tops, florals and gingham. If you lean toward feminine styles, try pairing a floral midi skirt or dress with a crochet cardigan. Accessorize with cowgirl boots, romantic dangle earrings and oversized barrettes. If you want something more casual, throw your favorite overalls over a dainty bralette. With colorful sneakers and a bandanna or bucket hat, you’ll look put together and perfect for the park.

Lingerie: For a romantic, outdoor date, a lightweight lace bralette and matching pair of underwear are the way to go. Dainty lace keeps it flirty, but opting for a bralette allows you to side with comfort.

Fun & Games

Dates for adventure-seeking couples — whether it be going to a roller rink, an arcade or some other lively festival — require playful yet functional outfits. Take the retro route with a colorful, abstract printed knit (bell or balloon sleeves are a plus!), a comfy pair of flare jeans and wooden clogs. Not only is the outfit photo-worthy and fun, but it is easy to last all night in. Another option is to take inspiration from Y2K trends and create the perfect flirty look with a printed mesh top and a low-rise denim mini skirt.

Lingerie: For these types of dates, comfort is key, so a stretchy cotton bralette and underwear set is cute and practical. Brands such as Calvin Klein and Parade offer a variety of cozy sets.

Night Out

These outfits are fit for any occasion when you want to feel sophisticated and glamorous. To create a classic look that impresses without fail, couple a mini slip dress with strappy heels. Accessorize with pearls, stacks of antique rings, long earrings and a beaded evening bag to elevate the ensemble. If you feel like dressing ultracool and a bit trendy, put together a monochrome outfit with leather pants and a matching bustier top. If you want to make the look more modest, you can throw on a matching leather blazer or swap the bustier for a structured crop top. Couple either look with a bold lip and confidence to blow your date away.

Lingerie: A sexy lace balconette bra and a flattering pair of matching underwear make for a hot date night!

Dating Yourself

A self date can be anything you want it to be; treat yourself to your favorite coffee shop and a good book, wander around an art museum or take yourself out to dinner. Whatever adventure you choose, you deserve it. It does not matter what you wear, as long as you are dressing for yourself! For a simple self date, pair your favorite jeans with a lacy tank and linen button-up. Add sunglasses, coordinated jewelry and white sneakers for a laid-back yet elegant look. If you want to mix it up, try a silky, patterned button-up instead. When you’re on your own, try exploring your personal style and experimenting

the confidence to wear new pieces!

If you need an idea for a simple friend date, elevate your basic tee shirt and jeans by choosing a pair of printed denim and mixing it with a printed top.

To make the mixed prints work, choose pieces in a similar color family, but with different sized prints.

Lingerie: When you’re with your friends, it’s easier to feel confident. Wear whatever makes you feel like you, whether that’s no bra, your favorite t-shirt bra or a sexy set.

Hot Girl Bummer

THE PRESSURE OF SUMMER IS RUINING THE SEASON

Written by Mason Braasch, Lifestyle Editor

Graphic by Jessica Tenenbaum

Every single year as the end of the semester approaches, I visualize and romanticize what my summer will look like. I always expect to have the type of summer that you see in coming-of-age movies and rom-com montages: lots of days at the beach, late nights spent with friends, travel and spontaneous adventures that lead to lifelong memories. Yet every single time, I am hit with the reality that summer is not the movie montage I imagine it to be. While I still have fun on sunny days, my time is so often consumed by jobs, internships and catching up on sleep.

When your days are filled with work rather than play, you begin to realize there is just too much pressure on summer to be the best season of the year. Between unfinished bucket lists and the constant stream of photos on social media detailing everyone’s Hot Girl Summer, the feeling that you are wasting or ruining your vacation is hard to overcome. Summer FOMO, the fear of missing out on summer sun, is a real and valid feeling, but it doesn’t have to ruin your season of sun.

There is no secret to the perfect summer. Your time can be fun and memorable no matter how you spend your days — after all, it’s just another season in the many that make up life. Whether you’re working 40 hours a week, tanning on the beach, traveling the world or mixing in a little bit of everything, it’s important to remember that there is no obligation for the season to look a certain way.

Letting go of the pressure to make your summer picture-perfect is the first step to making it great. While free of the stress and feeling like you are wasting your time stuck inside working, you’ll be able to appreciate

the time that you have to experience fun summer activities.

Other habits, such as practicing gratitude by finding one fun thing that brings you joy every day, can help you to feel like you are making the most of the season. Whether it’s a fun workout, grabbing a coffee in the morning and walking to the lake or shopping with friends, having new, fun experiences as part of your daily routine will take away the feeling that you are wasting the limited vacation days.

Another way to avoid summer disappointment is to make a bucket list that is realistic — or skip it altogether. Creating a list of extravagant and timeconsuming activities can be exciting at the beginning of summer, but they ultimately set you up for failure. By creating a list of 5 to 10 attainable items like a beach day, coffee date or picnic will leave you feeling accomplished rather than disgruntled at the end of the season.

Finally, remember that even though you shouldn’t feel pressured to make your summer all about fun, it is okay to log out of your email for the day and feel the sun while it lasts. Summer shouldn’t leave you feeling overworked and disappointed; instead, it should have you feeling sun-kissed, refreshed and ready to take on the exciting new experiences of the next season.

Whether or not you finished your bucket list the past summer, take a moment to reflect on the positive experiences you had. Every aspect of your time is valid, even the boring, stressful and demanding parts. Summer is just a season, and this fall is another opportunity to make memories and test the waters by trying new things.

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Summer Lovin'

ROMANTIC READS TO TAKE YOU BACK TO SUMMER

Written by Kora Quinn, Arts Editor

Graphic by Kate Madigan

SometimesI crave romance in my life, but I don’t actually want romance in my life. I’m in love with the idea of a summer fling, of partners met on vacation when we’re unrestricted by school and stress. And with both of those things currently looming over our heads, summer love seems like the perfect escape. Here are five flirty summer reads that will satiate your need for romance when life won’t stop getting in the way of love:

“Honey Girl” by Morgan Rogers

“Honey Girl” is a contemporary romance about Grace Porter, a recent doctoral graduate who decides to celebrate in Las Vegas. Things take a turn when Grace blacks out and discovers the following day that she has married a woman she met the night before. “Honey Girl” is a sapphic love story that involves the process of healing, family drama and the unpredictable mess that is adulthood.

“People We Meet on Vacation” by Emily Henry

“People We Meet on Vacation” is a contemporary romance about unlikely best friends, Alex and Poppy, who ended their tradition of vacationing together every year after falling out. Two years later, they reconnect and plan to take one final trip to get everything out in the open and make it right. “People We Meet on Vacation” takes “When Harry Met Sally” and

updates it for modern readers, involving a friends-to-lovers romance, the process of overcoming differences and the fear of intimacy.

the show, she unexpectedly becomes an icon for the body-positivity movement, all while finding her own inspiration and love throughout the process. “If the Shoe Fits” involves bachelor-esque tropes, body positivity and complex family dynamics.

“Of Fire and Stars” by Audrey Coulthurst

“Of Fire and Stars” is a romantic fantasy about Dennaleia, a princess meant to unite two countries with her betrothal to the crown prince of Mynaria. In the process of preparing for their marriage and keeping her forbidden magic a secret in a kingdom far from home, Dennaleia unexpectedly falls in love with her riding instructor — who also happens to be her betrothed’s sister. “Of Fire and Stars” is a sapphic love story that involves the conflict between duty and heart.

“If the Shoe Fits” by Julie Murphy

“If the Shoe Fits” is a contemporary romance and a modern retelling of “Cinderella.” It follows Cindy, a recent graduate student with a major in Shoe Design who volunteers for her stepmother’s reality dating show in the hopes of kick-starting her fashion career. As the only plus-size woman on

“Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen “Pride and Prejudice,” you may have heard of it, is a classic following the romance of Lizzie Bennet, a woman in regency era England who would rather marry for love than for security, obligation or familial advancement — the customs at the time. However, Lizzie finds herself in an unlikely romance that sheds light on the nature of judgement, her own faults and the process of overcoming them. ■

HEATWAVE

Directed by Corbin Woessner, Fashion Director

Photography and Layout by Audrey O’Neill, Photography Director

Videography by Madelyn Vilker, Videography Director

Modeled by Kaleigh Lewis

FIGS, FREAK OUTS, & FLIRTING WITH THE FUTURE

A RESPONSE TO "THE BELL JAR" AND ITS LOOK AT OVERWHELMING POSSIBILITIES

Written by Olivia Peters, Social Media Manager

Sometimes,

when I’m lucky, I’ll come across a novel that truly speaks to me by outlining a shared experience or feeling. Those novels are special. There are so many books out there: it’s a mere chance to pull one off the shelf that you form a connection to. Yet I had never read a novel that has reached beyond shared experience and at times felt like I was reading my own sentiments on the page.

That was until I read “The Bell Jar” by Slyvia Plath. I was grasping onto every word of her cautionary tale. Plath’s fully developed thoughts seemed to be based on my current musings about life and the decisions that come toward the end of college. I felt that her words were meant to teach me at exactly the right transitory moment in my life when I needed their guidance.

Slyvia Plath was born in 1932.1 She was a gifted writer her entire life, publishing poems as early as high school to earn a college scholarship. She eventually received a graduate ¹ Biography.com Editors. “Sylvia Plath Biography.” Biography.com. April 15, 2021.

fellowship at Cambridge. She was married and divorced, had two children and ultimately committed suicide in 1963. She received the Pulitzer Prize posthumously in 1982 for “Collected Poems.”2

“The Bell Jar” was Plath’s only published novel. Although it’s fictionalized, it was heavily influenced by her life. Ester Greenwood, the novel’s protagonist, receives a writing scholarship to attend college. The summer after her junior year, Ester goes to New York to become a guest editor on a magazine, just as Plath had. Ester leaves this experience feeling lost, and tries to kill herself, as Plath had. She’s put in an asylum where she eventually recovers. The novel describes Ester’s descent into mental illness and depression, as well as her recovery. It’s haunting to read, knowing that although Ester turns out okay, Plath did not.

Ester has her whole life in front of her as she finishes her internship in New York. As an extremely intelligent and beautiful woman, she succeeds in ² Ibid

almost all she puts her mind to. There’s a point midway through the story where Ester is being photographed and asked by her boss what she wants to be when she grows up. She can’t find the words and breaks down in tears. This is when readers recognize the depth of Esther’s struggles. It’s hard to understand at first because everything is going so well for her until she begins to go dark.

To me, Ester’s tears were reassuring. This summer I completed a rigorous marketing internship, working long hours and living in a small town near corporate. I met my parents for dinner two weeks before the end of the internship. Things were going well at work. I was being told I’d end the summer with a job offer. I was achieving my college goals, exactly on the trajectory that I envisioned going into my senior year.

My parents were surprised to see me crying across from them at the restaurant when I told them about my expected job offer. I couldn’t quite articulate between breaths why I felt

Sometimes marketing feels like what I’m supposed to do. I’m good at it, and it offers a stable career. Still, I often daydream about writing my own novel or being a columnist for a magazine. Some days, I’m so anxious that I think instead of any modern career, I should move to a small town and open a coffee shop to live simply. Other days, I wake up and I start Googling MBA programs at Oxford and Stanford and I wonder how far I could rise within a company if I tried.

For our generation, to be successful means you must be driven from a young age: spread yourself thin in high school to get into college, and thinner in college to get an internship.

For our generation, to be successful means you must be driven from a young age: spread yourself thin in high school to get into college, and thinner in college to get an internship. Once you get the internship and your degree, what comes next? We’re programmed to look forward to achievement. What happens when we reach a good place? I don’t think we’re able to just stop being driven, to stop reaching for the next big accomplishment as we have

been for the last 10 years. How do we sit still in our successes and the possibilities they’ve afforded us?

Plath identifies the toxic side of drive and discontentedness in her novel. At one point, Ester loses her footing on reality as her dreams pull her farther away from enjoying her successes and the present: “...beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black.”1

I was, and often still am, lost in the possibilities, but I learned from Plath. Her words and Ester’s tale showed me an unhappy path that would come from allowing myself to be pessimistically overwhelmed by the possibilities. I have to see them as opportunities, none final nor binding. ⁴ Ibid

How exciting it is to know that there are multiple versions of your future out there waiting for you. I plan to take my time trying some of them on for size, but won’t let them shrivel up before I choose one.

I should smile at where I am and all that’s before me. Although I am overwhelmed on a daily basis, I know that eventually, I will make a decision, and eventually, I will find ways to be content in any stillness that may ensue. Life is too short to live out all of the versions we see before us now. But it’s not too short for growth, frequent change and achieving a few dreams.

“The Bell Jar,” while dark, is an eyeopening novel meant to be read by college students whose lives are filled with prospects. It has helped me by lending words to the struggle occurring in my head and making me feel not so ridiculous in this specific sadness. I think it can do the same for a lot of others, and I heavily recommend it to all. ■

YES – THERE'S STILL SEX IN THE CITY

WHAT "SEX AND THE CITY" TAUGHT US ABOUT PLATONIC SOULMATES Written by Rachel Hale, Culture Editor

Once

upon a time, a Manolo clad maiden said “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.” That maiden was Carrie Bradshaw, and she’s right.

Premiering in 1998, “Sex and the City” ushered in an era of candid conversations about sex and relationships that served as the blueprint for shows like “Emily in Paris” and “Gossip Girl.” This July, producers announced that the original quartet sans Samantha (Kim Cathrall) will return to HBO for a 10-episode series; the reboot, “Just Like That,” will follow Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) into their friendship — now in their 50s. Over the course of six seasons, a spin off, two films and too many romantic flings to keep track of, the early 2000s sitcoms taught women everywhere about one of life’s biggest truths: platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones.

Remember when a sex-deprived Steve cheated on Miranda and she moved to the Lower East Side? Or when Charlotte tried to doubledate two men and they both walked out on her? How about Samantha’s

THE CITY SEX AND CITY SEX AND THE SEX AND THE CITY AND THE CITY THE CITY SEX CITY SEX AND

AND

Valentine’s-Day- à-la- nude-sushi gone wrong and, perhaps most memorably, Big’s abandonment of Carrie on her wedding day? Big later apologizes, but it’s Carrie’s girlfriends who carry her out of the church and turn her Cabo honeymoon into a girls trip for four, staying at her side even as she drowns her sorrows in hard liquor and days of sleep. When things go south (or worse, north toward Aiden’s cabin in Suffern, New York) the girls are there with Chinese takeout and a shoulder to cry on in a New York minute.

The women are not without their own flaws — Carrie cheats on her suitors multiple times and Miranda halfheartedly enters a relationship with a sports medicine doctor when she still has feelings for Steve. Even within the group, Charlotte’s judgement toward Samantha’s promiscuous nature borders on slut shaming. But throughout it all, the women remain a constant in each other’s lives, long after potential boyfriends have lost interest or given a cold shoulder. This platonic care extends far beyond relationships, becoming a lifeline as the women navigate children, careers and family deaths.

known for a short time and the feelings of love you would have for someone who has been your journeying partner for the past 60 years of your life — the person who has been by your side through thick and thin, who has believed in you and invested in you.”2

The same can be said of friendship. From the companionship of a high school chemistry partner to a college roommate turned BFF, it’s not how we come to be friends with someone but the quality of the friendship that indicates if the relationship will withstand the test of time, heartbreak and distance. Beyond obvious social benefits, research indicates that platonic friendships have a plethora of health benefits, helping us live longer and lowering the risk of long-term illnesses like dementia and heart disease.3

and “The Nanny,” parts of the beloved sitcom haven’t aged well: Namely, its lack of diversity and inability to use adequate dialogue to describe nonhetersexual relationships. In season three, Samantha claims she “didn’t see color”5 and fetishizes her brief relationship with Chivo, a Black record executive, and when Carrie first dates Sean, a bisexual man, she declares that she’s “not even sure bisexuality exists” and thinks “it’s just a layover on the way to Gaytown.”6 Perhaps more noticeable is the show’s overwhelming display of privilege, parading Carrie’s newspaper columnist salary as realistic means for a spacey Manhattan apartment while neglecting to portray working class characters beyond Steve. “Just Like That” has the opportunity to delve into these shortcomings with a new lens — perhaps there will be scenes of Carrie reckoning with the effects of police brutality or Charlotte explaining a television show’s queer relationship to her kids.

Researchers from Michigan State University found that friendships are the singular most important relationship in our lives; unlike the familial and spousal relationships often attached to a level of commitment or obligation, we choose to maintain friendships because of shared interests.4 Science confirms what the women of SATC already know: keep your S/O close and your best friends closer.

While soulmates are often thought of in a romantic sense, psychotherapists suggest that platonic connections can be just as strong as sensual ones. Soulmates are viewed as two separate souls with a unique bond, cut from the same cloth. We can even have multiple soulmates over the course of our lives — hence the magnificent four of SATC. While there isn’t necessarily scientific backing for the concept, Dr. Shauna Springer, psychologist and relationship and lifestyle counselor, suggests that two people can become soulmates as the gradual result of time and commitment.1

Springer shared, “Consider the difference between the giddy feelings of being in love with someone you’ve ¹ Springer, Shauna, “Soul Mates Do Exist - Just Not in the Way We Usually Think,” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 2012.

Part of SATC’s charm is its relatability — somewhere along the plotline, we all see a part of ourselves in Carrie’s aversion to commitment, Charlotte’s refusal to settle, Miranda’s struggle between career ambition and relationships and Samantha’s difficulty finding lasting emotional connections.

But long-time fans have pointed out that similar to the likes of “Friends”

² Ibid.

³ Lawler, Moira, Kaitlin Sullivan, Lisa Rapaport, Angela Haupt, Elizabeth Millard, Allison Young, Don Rauf, and Sara Lindberg. “Yes, Friends Are Good for Mental and Physical Health: Everyday Health.” June 2021.

THE THE CITY CITY SEX SEX AND AND THE THE CITY

⁴ Chopik, William J. “Associations among Rela tional Values, Support, Health, and Well-Being across the Adult Lifespan.” Wiley Online Library. John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, April 19, 2017.

Even with its blemishes, “Sex and the City” did a lot of good. Framed in the era of ‘90s sitcoms, the show’s foray into female topics is remarkable, from vibrators to mammograms to infertility. Furthermore, its female driven plot line proved that women could partake in sexual humour just like men and helped mitigate the taboo surrounding female sexuality.

The minute-long trailer teaser divulges little details about the “Just Like That” reboot. Yet, in a Carrie-like epigraph, I couldn’t help but wonder… How did Miranda handle quarantine? Are Charlotte’s kids prodigies? What will the girls do without Samantha? Will there still be, well, lots of sex? I suppose only time and an HBO Max subscription will tell. Regardless of whether or not viewers get insight into Carrie’s alleged new podcast, I know I’ll get a group of my girlfriends together to tune in — because the show is a testament to the power of friendship, and that’s something to celebrate.

■

⁵ “Sex and the City.” Episode. 3, no. 5. “No Ifs, Ands or Butts,” HBO. 2000.

⁶ “Sex and the City.” Episode. 3, no. 4. “Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl...” HBO. 2000.