love coupon
3 KEYS TO CALM, CONFIDENT PARENTING
I’m sharing this link to a FREE 30 min. course because I think it’ll lead to you LOVING your time with your kids more.
1 FREE class
Ask Flora WRITTEN BY FLORA MCCORMICK
Q. Consequences just don’t work
with our daughter. I could threaten to take away her tech time and she would just say, “Fine.” I don’t get it. It is like she just cares more about Instead – seek ways to focus on smaller getting her way than about anything steps to consequences. else. And when she doesn’t seem to “If we aren’t done with jammies and teeth care about the consequence, I try to by 7:30, we only have time for one book, add more, but I can’t really follow instead of two.” through on them all, so she starts “Each minute that you continue arguing to think she doesn’t have to take me about turning off the iPad is five minutes. seriously. We sort of feel stumped you lose from your iPad time tomorrow.” about how to best meet her needs and how to bring peace back to our house. 2. Avoid using Consequences for Revenge – Mary, with a 7-year-old daughter Consequences should never be about
A.
getting back at your child, or shaming them. These strategies often lead to rebellion or self-loathing, and that is certainly not our goal.
Getting angry, throwing out a consequence, and then seeing it has no effect on the child’s behavior can be a really frustrating cycle. The main issue often comes from perhaps using steps that are counterproductive (without even realizing it). Here are some common factors to help your consequences be more effective:
Let’s not threaten to take away their lovey snuggle bunny at bedtime or tell all their friends how bad they were at bedtime. Instead, we want the consequences to guide them toward better choices, with love and respect.
The Main Errors of Ineffective Consequences for Kids:
WE BRING THE CLINIC TO YOU. PHYSICAL THERAPY SERVICES INCLUDE: Pediatrics Early Interventions (birth - 3) Strider Bike Early Learning and Inclusive Learning Certified Instructor Dynamic Movement Intervention Torticollis Foot Management: orthotic prescription, serial casting, night splints Gait training Developmental delay
montanamobilerehab.com ALL SERVICES PROVIDED AT YOUR HOME/DAYCARE
406.318.5055 Call or text
54
february 2024
1. Don’t Go Too Big
Wanting to impose big consequences to get the child to really care about their behavior can often backfire, defeating the purpose. Going bigger is not better. Have you found yourself saying: “If you don’t listen to me, you’re not going anywhere for a week.”
montanamobilerehab@gmail.com
Dr Hannah Haugen, Physical Therapist
Unfortunately, these statements are likely not consequences you are really going to enforce, so then they just lead to the child thinking they don’t need to take you seriously.
“You will lose your birthday party if you keep this up!” “You’re not going play for the entire weekend if you don’t get over here.”
3. Explain Consequences in Advance
When you repeat what you want the child to do 10 times, and then yell out, “That’s it! All these toys are going in the garbage if you don’t clean them up!”…you are missing a key opportunity to motivate the child more effectively. After the first time you have asked them to do something, let your second reminder include the option of the consequence. For example, “I asked you to clean the toys up Josh. Let me be clear. I’m setting a timer for five minutes and any blocks still on the ground when the timer goes off, will be put on top of the fridge to take a break for two days.”
