4 minute read
An Introduction to the Roots Perinatal Resource Guide
WRITTEN BY SUZANNE BENDICK
I love making connections and I’m assuming, if you are one of the many people reading this magazine, you do too. Maybe you are physically growing a baby or navigating life with an infant(s). Maybe you’re trying to survive the unsurmountable grief that comes from losing a baby or are researching your options for infertility treatment, adoption or surrogacy. Perhaps you are a new dad or maybe a provider trying to understand how to better support families in our community. Any way you shake it, you are probably flipping through these articles hoping to glean some gems that could be helpful to you or to a loved one on this incredible journey.
No matter what has brought you, I am glad you are here. What you will find in the Roots Perinatal Resource Guide and in the pages of this magazine is all part of our community’s dedication to caring for and supporting new and growing families.
Did you know research shows the single most important factor that determines physical and emotional health is social support? I find this to be absolutely fascinating, and obviously integral to our work at Roots, not to mention our existence – especially as new parents.
Despite our best intentions, it often feels as if we (totally guilty over here) throw support around like a buzz word. Support can feel empty or be potentially harmful when we don’t understand it, acknowledge its importance to our survival or know where to begin thinking about how to get it or give it.
I learned recently that a model of Social Support Theory was brought into the mainstream during the early ‘80s, although we know this theory was extracted from the knowledge and traditions of indigenous cultures who have always had deep roots in social support and to which we have given no credit. For me, understanding our biology and our history—and how these are intertwined with our current circumstances—gives us a greater perspective of our human experience, hopefully offering some self-compassion, and ultimately helping us feel less alone.
Being aware of this model of support, broken down into four categories, and its undeniable impacts on our health is essential for new parents and those supporting a parent we love. All parents need these aspects of support to survive.
INSTRUMENTAL SUPPORT — tangible aid and service (i.e., a meal for a new family, a stack of wood chopped and ready for the wood stove, a box of diapers, a postpartum doula — although I think a doula could fit in each category)
INFORMATIONAL SUPPORT — advice, suggestions and information (i.e., the Roots Perinatal Resource Guide, working with a provider you trust, books about the realities of the postpartum period, websites or other parenting groups)
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT — expressions of empathy, love, trust, caring (i.e., participating in a peer support group at Roots or turning toward a friend’s difficulties with compassion rather than judgment)
APPRAISAL SUPPORT — information that is useful for self-evaluation. This type of support should be used sparingly and should only come from a strong, trusting relationship or from a trained professional (i.e., self-evaluation research from a trained therapist or perhaps a partner)
At Roots, one of our main goals in supporting parents is to help them understand that the challenges of this stage in life, although very personal and seemingly isolated to one’s unique experience, are most often ripple effects of our society’s emphasis on self-sufficiency, independence and productivity — three things that are completely contradictory to navigating a major life transition, and the social support theory which, as I mentioned, is the single most important factor in determining physical and emotional health.
We are social creatures who have relied and depended upon one another from the beginning, and there is nothing in the last few hundred years that has erased that fundamental biological need, especially during such a vulnerable transformation from individual to parent. For many of us though, as we have moved far away from our extended family, for more reasons than will fit in this magazine, we have found ourselves in circumstances that do not always allow for the act of finding, reaching out or getting support, all of which has been made especially difficult and pretty much impossible during the pandemic.
Our mission at Roots is to connect all parents to the support they need in the perinatal period. Hence the birth of the Resource Guide on the following page. I’m not suggesting just because this guide exists or because you know about social support theory, it will be easy for you; rather I hope you use this knowledge as a connection point, knowing that support for you and your family exists in our community in so many ways. As always, be gentle on yourself, knowing you are not alone and are worthy of the love and support that parents need for survival.
I encourage you to give it a look, not because you are struggling, but because you are human.
