Modern-Day Miracles

WRITTEN BY BEVERLY HOSFORD | PHOTO KELLY KUNTZ PHOTOGRAPHY

Thanks to advances in science, the way babies are conceived and carried varies just as much as babies themselves. One in eight couples struggle with infertility and one in four women have experienced pregnancy loss. Meanwhile, some people easily get pregnant just thinking about it. Being aware of the different family-building options, however, can literally change lives and so can being sensitive to the variety of journeys people are on.

Most of us picture having an obstetrician and nurses on board for the pregnancy process. Some might have a midwife, doula, massage therapist and physical therapist involved too. For others, there could be a fertility doctor, a mental health counselor and even a reproductive lawyer paving the path to parenthood. In fact, Bozeman has its very own legal practice called Embaby Fertility Law, PLLC, which has handled more than 75 reproductive law matters.

Katharine Hamilton, the lawyer who helps Montanans create and grow families, says that third-party reproduction is on the rise. “This means that rather than traditional adoption, more and more people are turning to surrogacy, embryo, egg and sperm donation to have babies.”

Local caregiver and surrogate, Tricia, says, “A surrogate is like a super nanny who takes care of the baby while in utero and then the intended parents take over the care of the little one once they are born.” Without a biological connection, there isn’t much risk that a surrogate will want to “keep” a baby that is not hers, which is a common misconception about surrogacy.

Surrogacy and embryo donation have both branched from in vitro fertilization (IVF), where an egg and sperm are combined in a lab and then implanted into a uterus. Some families need both IVF and a surrogate to have a baby, while others might want or need to adopt due to medical, biological or personal reasons.

Hamilton says, “Embryo donation is becoming the new adoption. There is less uncertainty and red tape.” Hamilton explains many couples have remaining embryos after completing their family using IVF. Going through IVF is expensive and emotionally taxing, so donation offers an alternative to discarding the remaining embryos or freezing them indefinitely. “Embryo donation is a win-win. The donors know that they have helped another couple struggling with infertility and they have given their embryos a chance at life. On the other hand, the recipients have the opportunity to carry their donor-conceived child.”

Unlike adoption, embryo recipients can experience pregnancy and childbirth. There are no fees exchanged between the families for the embryos, other than the recipients’ reimbursement of donation-related expenses such as storage and shipping fees, as well as medical, mental health and legal fees to facilitate the embryo donation.

Ownership of the embryos is transferred by written contract between the donors and recipients before a pregnancy occurs, so requirements such as home studies, and preplacement and post-placement evaluations of prospective parents are not necessary like with adoption. With embryo donation, the recipient is typically the birth parent, which provides additional legal protections. In adoption, the adoptive parents must wait at least 72 hours before a birth parent can consent to the adoption to ensure the arrangement is voluntary. While such safeguards protect a birth parent, a last-minute change of heart can be devastating to the other side.

Legal professionals help make modern familybuilding safe and smooth. Hamilton says, “Science is evolving more rapidly than the law. It is imperative that anyone considering having a baby via assisted reproduction contact an experienced fertility lawyer prior to conception, as that is when an attorney has the best chance at protecting their parental rights.” Take “at-home” insemination methods as an example. Without a signed contract addressing key terms and all parties having legal representation, a sperm donor could be legally recognized as a parent, even if that was no one’s intention. Hamilton offers free initial consultations through her website www. embabylaw.com.

While lawyers add the parties’ expectations regarding future communication in their written surrogacy and donation agreements, they don’t manage how the families proceed with staying in contact. Each family handles this differently. Some exchange Christmas cards or even go on vacation together, while others perform their part and go their separate ways. It’s a personal matter, just like parenting itself.

It’s valuable to be aware of the many ways families are made and the resources available out there so that we can all support one another on our unique paths to parenthood.

Beverly Hosford, MA teaches body awareness using anatomy and sleep science to help people enhance the connection between mind and body. She also loves skiing, hiking, cooking and gardening. Connect with her on Instagram @ beverlyhosford.

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